The recent tension between my husband, Ben, and me has been quite intense, and it's left me wondering if I'm acting unreasonably or not.

Two months ago, we welcomed our first child, a beautiful daughter named Emily. Transitioning into motherhood has been a mix of joy and chaos. Throughout my pregnancy, Ben was a pillar of strength and continually reassured me that he'd be an active participant in Emily’s early life, especially during the exhausting initial months.

Before Emily's arrival, Ben and his buddies had been organizing a men-only getaway this summer—a trip to a mountain cabin for a week of hiking, fishing, and lots of male bonding. While they discussed their plans, I’d pointed out that Emily would still be very young, and caring for her would be demanding. Ben promised that if it became too challenging, he would skip the trip to stay home with us. I held onto his words.

However, caring for Emily turned out to be tougher than we thought. The sleep deprivation, difficulties with breastfeeding, and the general adjustment to being new parents have been overwhelming for me. While Ben has been supportive, the enthusiasm he still holds for his upcoming trip is undeniable.

I brought up the subject last week, asking Ben if he could potentially skip the getaway, reminding him of his earlier commitment. He was taken aback and somewhat hurt by my request. He confessed his anticipation for the escape with his friends, emphasizing that he too needed a break. He suggested that his parents, who live close by, could assist me during his absence.

While I get that Ben might need time to unwind, I feel abandoned during a period when I need his support the most. I tried explaining that his parents' assistance, though valuable, isn't the same as his presence. But he argued that canceling now was unfair considering the planning involved with his friends. He assured me that he would ensure I had adequate support in his absence, but I felt let down.

Our disagreement has only grown, leaving us at odds with each other. Some friends suggest I should allow him the trip, noting it’s crucial for him to have a break, especially with the new stresses of fatherhood. However, others side with me, believing he should stay, given the promises he made and our current needs.

Am I wrong for asking Ben to cancel his "bro’s only" trip to help with our newborn, considering his earlier promise to do so?

If this ordeal were part of a reality TV show, one could imagine the drama and diverse opinions swirling around us. Cameras would capture every emotional plea and strained conversation. Viewers might see me as overbearing or deeply misunderstood, sparking debates and drawing sympathy or criticism alike, depending on the portrayed angle.

Should Ben cancel his trip to support us?

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