Family Drama Stories

I don't think i'm malicious. Then again maybe i'm wrong. But still. I don't do It on purpose. I'm Just scared and nervous and thinking. I'm horribly selfish definitely and selfcentered probably, and dumb obviously. And maybe she's right about the fact that i can't really care about others. And maybe my attempt at showing love are Just attempts at asking for forgiveness for being bad. But I don't think i'm malicious. I did do It on purpose i was Just tired and i didn't want her to start yelling again like She always does. she did anyway, and It was pointless. Could've there been a better solution? Yeah probably. But I was too scared and nervous to see it. And i'm sorry i didn't. But I was already scared of yelling at me. She thinks i'm malicious ig. That maybe i have an evil plan. But i was already thinking about what to do If she did decide to hurt me or to hurt/ruin one of my things. I'm not malicious and i don't have an evil plan. I Just can't be good. And i mess up all the time. And i can't blame her if she wants me gone.

You know when you love someone, but you really, really despise everything they are and their whole person, and their opinions and the way do and approach things. And your stomach twists in rage and hate and disgust when they're around? And you can't actually be Happy or love them quite right because you know you feel much differently inside? Better yet, you know when parents want their children to Learn how to swim and they just throw them in the water and Hope for the best? Yeah. That's what she does with everything. Not with me, cause i was a down right horrible child that was digusting and full hate. She didn't need to give any more. But she uses that approach with everything even important things. She throws them there. Makes important decisions and promises on a whim and hopes for the best. Except she never actually puts effort into anything. And past a certain point she gets tired and novelty of her new obssession dies out and She Just leaves It to rot. And most of the time It doesn't work. Things break and go to sh*t. And then she burst into rage and quits. Typical. It's funny cause She insists onto saying and presenting herself like the most important blessing that ever came on Earth. Which yeah. In a sense. Sure. She always starts with good intentions. And she has some solid values which i really admire. And she loves. A lot. But It's very hard to get her interest. And if she isn't interessed she ignores everything and concentrates on her newest obssession leaving everything to rot. She insists that I know nothing. And that i'm Just a scaredy cat and i exagerate. But she spent most of my Life yelling and shouting and shamming things and threathing to hurt me or destroy things I care about. And all those Animals she says she saved and loves? They flinch at every sound and movement and Hide and run away whenever they can tell she's mad. And i think that says more about her than it does of a misbehaving puppy. Maybe It's subjetive. But i honestly don't think that's love. Love and family shouldn't be built on fear and intimidation and d*ath threats. That is just picking the lesser evil to continue to survive. Recently she's been talking more about her family and i realize more and more how she Is and Why. And she's right they are worse. And their love for her was conditional. And she still loved them and still holds most of them in High regard. And that's another thing i hate about her. She so full of love. Even though she's clearly bitter about what they have done. But She lets that bottle up and takes out on others that in her regard are "under her". She's so full of love that rotted and turned into rage. And that Is something i will never forgive her for. I love her so much and i admire her a lot and i'm so sorry for cause she didn't deserve anything that happened to her. But love rots and turns into this horrible ugly thing that she passed down to me. And i hate her for It. I hate for everything. I hate her never putting effort into anything. I hate her for never listening. I hate her for always taking decisions for me. I hate her for being so superficial and fickle. I hate her for spontanuos and loving but also so full of rage and scary. And i hate her even more, because all those horrible things are exactly how she describes me. I hate that we're so alike in things in the worst ways possible. And i hate that we're so different that we Clash on everything. And can't have genuine things in common. And i hate her because I know she hates me too for those exact reasons. Though. To be honest i Guess this says as much about her than It does about me, since i'm all of this i'm saying out of hatred for her. And out of the bitter and sharp painfull feeling right next to the admiration I have for her. I am like her and much worse after all, all that hate in the pit of my stomach Is simmering and It's making more and more horrible by the day. She says i'm like them. Like him. But i've never actually known them and known what they're like so i can't be sure. What i am sure of though? I won't take responsibility and guilt for decisions she made and consequences she causes. I've already had horrible spirals and thoughts because of her, i have enough guilt to manage on my own . I've been trying to improve for years now and i think that starts with shutting her yelling out.

I don't feel so good. My uncle is gonna leave in a few days, he was just coming to visit and so were my other uncles and my aunts but then they all left back to their countries and now my uncle is gonna leave too and I'm dreading it, the house is gonna feel so empty (theres my dad and other family members but they always make me feel miserable) and I just don't want to cry in front of anyone, theyre gonna make fun probably and I'll feel so embarrassed. I just don't wanna cry. I know people say it's good to cry and strong people do that and I am sooo aware but yeah. I don't wanna cry

Theres just been a lot in my head and a lot of emotions that make me feel miserable. But don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for everything. It's just this miserable feeling no matter what I do it can't go away, it's like a sticky googly eyed green jello that sticks to your arm and won't go away even when you shake your arm so much

I think I am going to go insane living with my grandmother because god forbid I am late to make my bed one day and suddenly I am a ungrateful do nothing when I have told her time and time again to just say when she needs me to help her I can not read her mind because when you offer to help she tells you no or gets mad. She wants me to find a job and I am trying my hardest but the job market isnt the greatest right now so I would lovee to see her try! I try and keep to myself just so I dont piss her off but today was the day I was late to making my bed and she said I know you are a busy women (sarcastically) but when are you going to make your bed and I responded with I was about to and her response was no you werent until I said something so I simply said no I was going to make the bed in a second to which she said dont get smart with me. I am a generally blunt and dry person as she knows and makes jokes about. Literally losing it over here and can not wait for when I get job and a house of my own.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Jessica Romina Alcaraz Guzmán.

You cheated on me with your superior, you thought I wouldn't find out, you're the worst, you deserve the worst in the world.

I hope you find your other half or your other trash in the dumpster. You're scum.

Okay so basically just Sunday I went out shopping and got these pore strips for my nose and I only use them two days a week since it’s only two days a week and I’m actually gonna stick to that. And just today my sister(4 years older then me with her own car and money) had came up to me and asked if she could have one and obviously I said no because I want it balanced and she kept on begging and begging and I kept telling her no and she finally left and decided to go to our mom to make me give her the pore strips she could’ve easily bought. And the place where I got them only costs like four or three dollars for a six pack of them and she was well over 900 dollars to spend too and also not to mention she uses her boyfriends money(he makes way less then her) anyways she went to out mom and I guess she said something dumb like “oh I bought her food but she still refuses to give me her pore strip!” And so when I walk out to just hang out with my mom she was all like “just give your sister a pore strip” and when I handed her the stupid pore strip she was all like “oh yeah I ordered you a triple dipper from chilis” and proceeded to keep most of the fucking food. And like I didn’t even ask for that and im amusing in her world I’m hungry all the fucking time just because I’m chubby. And it’s like why are you even assuming that? Like not all “fat” people are the same

We're still working on the pool since fixing the holes Is tricky and she's starting to get irritated by It. Which i find honestly hilarious cause, yeah. I negleted it for a year, sure and It Is my fault. But where was she at? It's as much my fault as It Is hers. Cause also did not care for It at all for a year. Similiarly, She said she'd been asking for It all summer, which no. Less than two weeks at most, which Is still some time, but also She did nothing to start something She wanted and Just forgot about It most of the time. But i do feel sad cause i did enjoy the pool last year and It's my fault It's broken, and It Just wasn't right to neglect It, and i feel really bad about that. It also reminds of all the other things i've negleted over time and that now are ruined because of me. And none of that would've happened if i Just was Better and could deal with whatever Is wrong with me. At the same time i guess there's nothing i can do now but try my best to fix things. And i'm trying. I Just Hope It will hold up. Even if the patches are a bit wonky. Both the pool and everything else.

So I’ve been recently spending more time with my family & sleeping over, and I’m loving it! Maybe too much…

This is more of a series of my life so pls check out my other ones lol!!

After I spent two days at my grandparents house I was really relaxed and happy? And I felt sad I was leaving to go home. So when I got home I was immediately left to a loud house. A very different contrast to a quiet, comfortable, clean grandparents house. And I have a lot of sensory issues and verbal delays so I can’t really speak for myself when im overstimulated and upset. So when I walk in I immediately want to go back to my grandparents house so I just go to my room without saying hello or anything since the tv was very loud and I didn’t want to argue with my dad. And I felt very frustrated, annoyed, upset, and somewhat disappointed??

So later that night I came down for dinner, the tv blaring an action movie, the dogs barking, dinner cold on the counter, and stepping on sharp things scattered on the floor. So first of all, I’m overstimulated. I can feel and hear everything at the same time. So I go to get some ice and water and the freezer is packed with frozen crap blocking the ice maker, making there BARELY any ice so I’m annoyed! I haven’t been home for TWO DAYS and I can’t even have ice on a hot day. So I get my ice and go eat dinner alone on at the dinner table because my parents sit on the couch and eat it together not with me. So I’m eating right? The rice is too wet… the chicken is too dry… the tvs too loud.. and my fork isn’t big enough.. I know I may sound picky and just complaining but honestly after dealing with this every day and is back home after a couple days it pisses you off. So I haven’t even been asked how my day was or any plans I have so I feel unappreciated because I want to feel cared about. So honestly I’m pissed and just annoyed so I mutter “I like grandmas house better..” so my mom asks, “Do you not like it here?” What do you think??? I’ve been asking you guys to turn down the tv multiple times a week and just asking for the questions to stop! So I’m just really annoyed and frustrated from her saying that so I say, “No, I just- it’s just so loud here all the time and it’s so quiet at grandmas house.” And I get no response which sets me off because now I feel bad for saying the truth. And now I want to cry and feel her hug but I dont ask and just leave because I felt ungrateful.

Before you say that I’m just ungrateful and a brat, I’m 13. A girl at that too. And I feel that I have complex emotions and can understand when I need to have a break or be serious. And I just want to leave in perspective this is environment had been a constant thing for 5 years now. And all of my issues and idk I’m just still developing and I have a lot of hormones and anxiety and adhd so it’s just very hard, and I have a lot of sensory issues and verbal delays.

I use to be proud of my family name. I am from a small town so when people would find out my lastnight they would say oh your related to this person they are such an awesome and generous person. Now I am ashamed. Ever since I found out my grandfather SA my little brother my family hasn’t been the same. People took sides on whether they believe him or not. They thought my grandfather is this well known, intelligent hard working guy he could never do something like that. Well I knew the truth.that he was just to embarrassed and ashamed to admit to what he did he fled to another country. Our relationship fizzled out and when he passed. The family we right we had left got even worse. My grandfather was a wealthy man so of course everyone fought over money.

In a time when we should be helping and grieving together turned to money. His brother and his family being the worst. Taking control of everything and selling property that had been in my family for generations. I didn’t care for the money but that hurt the most. Something that’s an always promised to stay in the family was sold off like it meant nothing. Like it wasn’t the one place that held all the good memories before the fighting accusations and money, hungry people.. as I’ve gotten older it’s sad, but I’ve learned just because your blood doesn’t mean your family. It’s the people who show up for you. so no longer am I proud to say my family name. No it’s just a distant memory of what could’ve been.

I was a toddler, I was texting someone who used to be friends with her and found out she told them I was the one who s#xually assaulted her. I was a toddler, she knew better, she's the one that did it to me severely and now she's playing the victim. Whenever because of her actions I can't even be comfortable showing any skin or accepting any touch? She blocked me after I tried asking her why she would lie about that and since has done nothing but just blatantly lie about my name? Not even just that but I know she did it to her little sister too, and remember the friend I said I was talking to? He was also a victim of her yet she denies it. She literally got mad when she asked to do something to me when I was 9 Infront of her little sister because I said no? She's a grown ass adult and I'm a minor at the moment and the fact she's blaming me is crazy.

Huuuge vent/dump of thoughts

So it's the 9 of August. Currently 5:30 am. I can't sleep. Yesterday, i was a bit stumped on what do all morning. Then by lunch she was mad at me. Which was fair cause i didn't do the dishes. And she was mad that I 'have fun cooking' and then don't do the dishes. Which she's right on, even though i barely cooked recently and the only dishes i used were the ones we used to eat. Also the times where i do wash them, somehow she just doesn't notice ig? Cause she still says i haven't done in months, like the day after. But idk maybe doesn't count. She's like that with a lot of other stuff, like sweeping the floor for example, which i have done like 6 or 7 times in last few weeks, specifically because She asked and said she wanted to mop the floors. And she still hasn't done though? She's only done it in a very small spot because It was necessary, but then got mad when i skipped a room last time. It's not a big deal but still weird. Anyway today She was mad about me. And usually i just kinda hide untill It passes and today i did the same, i Just kinda hid in the bathroom as long as possible untill i couldn't anymore cause i had to cook and even after that I was staring at my phone and just trying to get through lunch as fast as possible to go back in my room. And i wasn't really looking at her cause i didn't want her to get mad again. And then she was asking for sugar and water and basically she felt bad. Maybe low Sugar/low Blood pressure. She said It was probably bc she eat little sugar. Which yeah. That's why since SHE IS THE ONE CONCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO EAT LOW SUGAR AND TO EAT HALF ASSED MEALS ALL THE TIME cause:

1)She doesn't like cooking and usually puts no effort in It.

2) She's been self concious lately, more than usual, and has been obsessed with dieting and losing weight etc. She's always has been since i was a kid and pushed that stuff since i can remember. ( I was 5/6 when she'd make me watch TV shows about overweight people who were on the verge of dying, and She used to say i'd be like them one day and die young.) But lately It's her new obsession.

Which. All in all. Both points are Fair. Do what you want. Even though, clearly there's a flaw in your judment if you feel this bad. (For referece It's even the first time and i told her multiple times to eat more sugar, i've tried even packing her lunch when she went to work and i to school, but sometimes she "didn't see It". I honestly It woundn't have been as much of a problem for now that we're at home more often, but whatever. That aside. After she felt better she went on about how i didn't even notice and was just staring at my phone (which i was because I Just wanted to leave and feel safe in my bedroom.) and that I need to "wake up". Basically she thinks i'm dumb. Which, sure, she's not off the mark right there. And Just all of that has been on my head all day. And there's just this huge feeling of painfull dread like under my rib cage that i can't shake off. I didn't really do much after that. I made some drawing which i am quite happy with + made dinner. And i've just been really stuck on the fact that i simply can't do this quite right. I should've noticed. And just in general should be Better. Idk what's wrong with me that i can't just be "good". I've tried and i'm trying but i'm just so stupid and i mess It up. Or Maybe i Just can't change the fact that i'm bad and this point less cause i'll always be a bad person. Sometimes i think i'm improving. And i think i am doing good and Better. But i'm not. I'm really not. And It just kinda feels like all my attempts at being better are fake, like three half decent ideas in thrench coat trying to make me pass as a good person when i'm not. And they're doing a terrible job by the way. I'm doing a terrible job. I should be better. Today i should've noticed. I should be preparing for September. Idk studying things I was behind on last year. Learning how to wake up sooner. Or Better yet, not let my grades slip for the past two years. Or not messing up every time i've been trying to be better for the past five years. Any would've been good. Honestly, i'm Just so tired of being bad. Sometimes i wish i wasn't here, so her life could be better and easier and i wouldn't hurt her. Other times i wish i was alone. Like really really alone, Not Just feeling alone. So at least i could be horrible alone and not hurt others and do things badly at my pace.

sometimes i just wanna pack my bags and run far away from this crappy reality. you ever feel trapped in your own life? well, that's me right here, trying to plow through until university starts so i can finally hit the escape button. it's all because of my parents who just can't wrap their heads around me being gay. we're talkin' constant cold shoulders, awkward silences during dinners, and those backhanded comments they think are subtle. i'm seventeen and kinda over the act of pretending in my own home. like, why's it such a big deal? wouldn't life be so much simpler if they just accepted me as i am?

growing up, i'd always prefer to hang out with my friends who have supportive folks. those visits gave me a glimpse into what supportive family dynamics look like. honestly, that's all i want. when my friend alex, who i'm kinda jealous of, talks about his family being proud of him just the way he is, i can't help but wish for the same. my parents think i'm just rebelling or going through a phase. they say “you'll change when you meet the right girl.” sorry folks, won't be a girl. can't they just get that it's not a switch i can flip on or off?

anyway, i'm counting down the days till i head to uni, 'cause it's like a beacon of hope for me. i'll finally get to start fresh, be who i am without caring about playing the part for anyone else's sake. maybe then i'll find my own tribe and perhaps even a boyfriend without the side-eye glances at home. would it be all sunshine and rainbows? probably not. still gotta figure out student loans and handling classes, but it's a step closer to freedom; you know? plus, i'm thinking of joining some lgbtq+ groups to meet people going through the same stuff. life's too short to be stuck in limbo, right? so, here's to making a fresh start!

How do you cope with a hard week? I'm fine but I'm kinda worry because my pet's not ok, she's going to the vet this friday and I'm feeling a little bit sad for it. She's been dealing with some issues with her health state for a while but it's not that serious... I hope she'll be fine after all... But still sometimes the doubt and worries remain...

i don’t really know when things started to go sideways between me and my dad, but it’s been like this for a while now. i’m 17, and honestly, it feels like he’s just constantly disappointed in me. it’s like no matter what i do, it’s not good enough. if i get a B, he asks why it’s not an A. if i help out at home, he’ll point out what i missed instead of what i did. i get that parents want the best for their kids, but man, this feels like something else. he talks to my brother like he’s proud of him all the time, even when he does half the things i do. like, does he even realize the difference in how he treats us? i don’t expect a trophy or anything, just maybe a “hey, good job” once in a while wouldn’t hurt. when he gets mad, he doesn’t yell much—he just gives that cold, silent stare that makes you feel like nothing. that’s the worst part, honestly.

i remember once, i spent two weeks working on this art project for school. i even stayed up all night trying to get the shading right, and i thought it came out decent. i showed it to him, kinda hoping for at least a nod or something, and all he said was, “that’s what you stayed up for?” like, bro, come on. it’s just little stuff like that, over and over again. i know i’m not perfect—no one is—but is it really that hard to say something nice for once? sometimes i wonder if he even likes having me around. maybe i remind him of something he doesn’t like, or maybe he just doesn’t vibe with daughters the same way he does with sons. i know that sounds kinda dumb, but it’s crossed my mind more than once. he’s never said anything directly mean, but the way he acts says enough. i try not to let it get to me, but it chips away little by little;

some days i just sit in my room thinking, “what did i do to make him so cold?” and maybe it’s not even about me, maybe he’s just going through his own stuff and i’m taking it personal when i shouldn’t. but how can i not? when someone lives in the same house and barely acknowledges you unless it’s to correct or criticize, it’s hard not to feel like it’s you. i’ve talked to my mom about it a couple times, and she just says “he’s like that” or “he means well,” but like… does he really? i don’t need a perfect dad, just one that doesn’t make me feel invisible. have you ever felt like someone is just tolerating you, not really seeing you for who you are? that’s how it feels. so yeah, i don’t hate him or anything, i’m just tired of trying so hard to be enough. maybe he doesn’t hate me, but if he doesn’t—why does it feel like he does?

So I was hanging out of VR-Chat with a few friends in a military sim and we were doing combat as usual. My sister tells me that dinner is ready, but I cant leave because its FUCKING ONLINE, and I don't want to disrespect my friends by leaving suddenly. This little ASSHOLE TURNED OFF MY SURGE PROTECTOR without me knowing, leading to my headset dying out of nowhere. I spent a few moments trying to figure out WHY my headset is dead, and refuses to charge. I plug it back in, pull the entire cord out of the socket, just to figure out that she turned it off. I can't trust my family anymore because of shit like this. This is the FIFTH WEEK that I had to go black-comms (leave) on promotions day, because nobody in my goddamn household wants me to be happy, or have friends, and then they complain that I never go outside. THEY ARE THE ONES MAKING ME TOO GODDAMN NERVOUS TO LEAVE MY FUCKING BEDROOM! I asked her if she turned off my surge protector, and she denied it like the insolent disgrace that she is. My next suspect is my mom because the constantly ignores my privacy and acts like doors mutes every sound ever, and whenever I shot her a text, asking if she did it; she also denies it and says "Im sorry your headset died", as if that is going to magically charge my headset to 100% and replace the dying batteries in it. One of those two did it, because I KNOW my dad cant take his lazy ass upstairs, he's too much of a drunk to do that. I just want to go through ONE FUCKING PROMOTIONS MEETING without having to leave early before the promotions even happen; is that too much for someone to do? Its EVERY. FUCKING. SATURDAY with these people. NO! I don't want to go eat shitty seafood with a deadbeat, a dumbass, and a spoiled brat. NO! I don't want to go swimming in Florida heat with 1K mosquitoes sucking my blood. JUST LET ME PLAY IN PIECE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.

(sorry for the amount of cussing, I get heated easily)