Workplace Drama

I don’t kno when it started exactly. Maybe it was innocent at first, just little jokes, casual convos, a few laughs here and there. But now, I feel like there’s somthing more, something I don’t really wanna admit to myself. I’m a married man, been with my wife for years, we built a life together, and I still love her—I really do. But lately, there’s this thing with my coworker, and I can’t ignore it. It’s not like I’m doing anything, not really. We just talk a lot, joke around, sometimes she texts me after work about random stuff. And I know it’s harmless—I mean, we don’t touch, we don’t cross any big lines. But if it’s all so harmless, then why do I feel guilty? Why do I delete some of our messages before I get home? Why do I think about her when I’m laying in bed next to my wife?

I keep tellin myself it’s not cheating, because there’s no actual act, no betrayal in the way people usually think about it. But then I wonder… if the roles were reversed, if I saw my wife laughing with some guy at her job the way I do with this coworker, if she was gettin texts late at night, if she was goin out of her way to look just a little bit nicer when she knew she’d see him—would I be okay with that? No. No way. And that’s the part that’s messing with me. I know I’m playing with fire, even if it’s just a tiny spark right now. Maybe nothing will ever happen, maybe it’ll just stay this light, playful thing. But what if it doesn’t? What if one day I cross a line I can’t uncross? What if I already have, and I just don’t wanna admit it?

I tell myself that it’s natural, that everyone flirts a little, that it doesn’t mean anything. I mean, just because I enjoy talking to her, just because I look forward to seeing her, just because my heart beats a little faster when she compliments me—that doesn’t make me a bad guy, right? Maybe I’m just craving attention in a way I didn’t realize before. Marriage is great, but after years together, it’s easy to feel… unnoticed. My wife and I are comfortable, we have our routines, and I know she loves me, but sometimes it doesn’t feel new anymore. But this coworker? She laughs at my jokes like they’re actually funny, she notices little things about me, she makes me feel like I still got that charm. And damn, it feels good to feel wanted.

But then the guilt creeps back in, and I start wonderin—is flirting cheating? I know what the “right” answer is, what people say it is. But in reality? It’s not always so black and white. Because it’s not just about what you do, it’s about what you feel. And if I’m already feeling this guilty, maybe I already have my answer. Maybe I just don’t wanna face it.

So I gave birth to a child, when he was inside of me I didn't like him, hell I wanted to kill myself just to destroy him, I didn't get pregnant by choice, I couldn't get a abortion because of the law, my whole pregnancy just fucked with my mental and physical health but then when I saw him for the first time and holded him I just couldn't help but love this little treasure, but sadly after 2 weeks of pure happiness of me holding, nursing, talking and sleeping with him I got a lot of pus filled bump all over my forehead, since the doctor doesn't know what is it, he forbade me from nursing and holding MY CHILD, my treasure so know it's my mother and siblings who takes care of him, i'm jealous, I also want to hold him but I can't, I know that they are just trying to help but I can't help it, i'm jealous of them

Bro, I swear, no one ever prepared me for this moment. Like, I’ve studied, I’ve worked hard, I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do to start my career, but nowhere in the onboarding packet did it say how to respond when a cute coworker tells you, "I appreciate you." And now I’m just sitting here, overthinking this to death because what does that even mean??? Was it just a casual thing? Was it some deep, meaningful thing? Am I supposed to say it back? I don’t know, and my socially awkward ass is malfunctioning.

It wasn’t even some big moment. I helped her with something small, like barely anything, and she just smiled at me and said it—like it was no big deal. But my brain froze. I think I muttered something dumb like "uh yeah, sure," which is definitely not the right response. Who says "uh yeah, sure" to appreciation?? And now I feel like I messed up some huge social rule I didn’t even know existed. The worst part? Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I mean, she’s cool. She’s funny, she’s smart, she actually talks to me without making me feel like an awkward loser. And now I’m wondering… did she mean something by it? Or is my lonely, never-been-in-a-real-relationship brain just making a big deal out of nothing?

I feel like if I was normal, I would’ve just smiled and said "I appreciate you too." But I didn’t. And now I have to see her at work every day, knowing I fumbled the simplest human interaction possible. I need a do-over. Or, like, an instruction manual for being a functioning adult in social situations. Because if this happens again, I gotta be ready. Next time, I’m gonna play it cool. Next time, I’m gonna say something that doesn’t make me sound like a total idiot. Right?

I love my job. After I finished maternity leave I looked for a job that I could turn into career down the line and a place I would be happy at vs switching jobs over and over for years to come. The job is great, the benefits are amazing. They even sent us on a spa day three months into me working there. Now I’ve been there almost 2 years and the employees still barely talk to me, they don’t invite me to hang out outside of work, and they don’t even notify me of changes they make to MY daily schedule.

**Note, I’ve been promoted twice since I started working there because my main focus is to learn, do the job and do it correctly. Other employees, as previously mentioned, my plans to hang out rather than doing the job.

Now we have a new doctor (AKA) boss to which I am the direct assistant to. The office is throwing her a welcome party and it’s not mandatory for me to go but it would look weird for me not to considering my position.

The thing is, this is a casual, after work, off the clock event that they’ve invited the office and their families to. I don’t want to go. I don’t and won’t feel comfortable sitting around for three to five hours with an office full of people that don’t like me. I’m allowed to bring my two year old but I can’t bring a friend or sibling or grandparent to help me watch him while I mingle (which is the purpose of the event). When they said we can bring family, they mean spouse or significant other , neither of which I have.

Am I wrong for not wanting to attend this party??

You hear it all the time—“Don’t mix work and friendship.” “Coworkers are not your friends.” But honestly? I didn’t believe it. I thought I was different. I thought I had built real relationships at my job, that the people I worked with had my back. Turns out, I was an idiot. Because the second things got complicated, the second there was a choice between loyalty to me or loyalty to him, guess what they picked? Not me.

It all started with a post. Just one stupid post. I wasn’t even that harsh, just some light criticism, some questioning about the way things were being handled at the biggest electric car company in America. You know, open discussion—the kind of thing we were all encouraged to have. Or so I thought. But the second my words hit that cursed blue bird app, the tone changed. The same people who laughed in the break room, who shared memes about all the chaos, who agreed with me in private DMs, suddenly weren’t on my side anymore. They saw my post, they saw my name attached to it, and instead of scrolling past or maybe even messaging me like, “Dude, maybe delete that,” they went straight to reporting me.

Next thing I know, I’m pulled into a “meeting.” No warning, no real discussion. Just straight to the point. “You’ve been engaging in behavior that is not aligned with company values.” Oh, company values? You mean the same company values that encouraged employees to always challenge the status quo, to be “bold” and “speak their minds”? Guess that only applies when you're kissing the ring, huh? Because the minute you question the self-proclaimed genius billionaire, suddenly you're not bold—you're a problem.

I sat there, staring at them, wondering if this was a joke. I mean, I wasn’t the only one complaining. We all talked about the unrealistic deadlines, the insane pressure, the way everything had to revolve around one man’s impulsive tweets. I just happened to be dumb enough to say it where he could see it. And my friends—the ones who shared my frustrations, who vented right along with me—what did they do? They snitched. They forwarded my post, flagged it, escalated it. Why? To score points? To save their own asses? Maybe they thought throwing me under the bus would make them look like good little soldiers, obedient workers in the empire of a guy who calls himself a free speech absolutist but fires anyone who dares criticize him. Maybe they were just scared.

I walked out of that building with a cardboard box and a pit in my stomach, not because I lost the job (honestly, I’d been thinking about leaving anyway), but because I realized how fake it all was. The inside jokes, the happy hours, the shared eye-rolls in meetings—none of it meant anything when it came down to it. The moment things got real, they chose the billionaire overlord with weird Nazi fanboy energy over the guy they used to grab lunch with.

And I get it. People gotta protect themselves. No one wants to be on the wrong side of the guy who reinstates fascist accounts on social media and spends more time posting memes than running a company. But damn, I thought at least one of them would’ve had my back. Instead, they smiled to my face, then sent my post straight up the chain. So yeah, lesson learned. Coworkers are not your friends. No matter how much you laugh together, no matter how many times you grab a beer after work, at the end of the day, when it’s you or them, they’ll choose themselves every time. And I won’t make that mistake again.

F**k you, Elon & my team 😘

I swear I tried everything, but nothing ever works out for me. Every time I start something new, I suck at it. People always say "oh, you just need to practice" or "you’ll find your thing, don’t worry," but what if I don’t? What if I’m just bad at everything? I tried studying different subjects but nothing sticks. Math? Forget it, I barely pass. Writing? Takes me forever to put a single sentence together, and it still sounds dumb. Science? Idk, all the terms just go in my head and disappear like five seconds later. And don’t even get me started on anything artistic. I can’t draw, I can’t play music, I don’t have any of those creative talents people show off online. I look around and see everyone has something, like they’re naturally good at sports or coding or fixing things, and here I am, struggling to even find one thing I don’t completely suck at.

It’s not just school either. I tried manual work, like building stuff, and I always mess up. My dad once tried to teach me how to fix a sink, and somehow I made it worse. Tried helping a friend with his car and nearly broke something expensive. People tell me "just use your hands, it’s not that hard," but my brain don’t work that way. It’s like my hands and my head don’t connect properly or something. Even basic stuff, like learning to cook, I mess up. I once burned pasta—pasta bro, how do you even do that?! I feel like no matter what I try, I fail at it. And then I see other people who don’t even try that hard, but they’re just naturally good at stuff, and it makes me feel like maybe I’m just not meant to be good at anything. Like some people are just born talented, and then there’s people like me who can’t even figure out what they’re supposed to do in life.

I wish I had at least one thing, just something I could say "yeah, I’m good at this." But everything I try just proves over and over that I’m just average at best, useless at worst. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop of trying, failing, feeling like crap, then trying again because people say "don’t give up," and failing again. It’s exausting. And what scares me the most is that I have no clue what I’m gonna do in the future. Like, how do you pick a career when you suck at everything? How do you even function in the world when you got no skills? I don’t wanna be a loser my whole life, but at this point, I honestly don’t know what else to do.

The coworkers I work with in this outpatient lab grind on my nerves. maybe it's a me thing but they complain about literally every. single. thing. they complain about the fact that I get one day off every week (I work 4 10s they work 5 8s) completely ignoring the fact that we both work the same number of hours each week. They get annoyed the I use my vacation time. (fun fact that's part of my benefits. why would I not use the benefits I have) they get annoyed that sometimes when they come back from lunch there are 3 people in the lobby but ignore the fact that when they leave for lunch they will leave 8-10 patients in the lobby. And I'm pretty sure that if i was to register the patients in the lobby and put them under them to be drawn they would be annoyed they have to draw blood after coming back from lunch. But hey when they leave for the day that's okay if they leave with a lobby full of patients because god forbid they stay one minute past their scheduled shift . They feel like they are above the standards that they hold everyone else to like hypocrites.

It's so hard not having anyone when you need them most.

Why do I always feel like I'm begging for your attention, like I'm the only one who wants to be with you?

Will you look for me first when I'm gone? Does it really have to be like that for you to finally realize my importance?

Everyday is a battle, between me against the world. I feel so alone, unworthy of anyone's attention, atleast that's what I've always felt, and still am.

Maybe I just need to accept that everyone has their own lives and that I am no one's priority. I can't just ask them to do something and expect them to be able to; like spending time with me during my dark days.

Today is Sun, why the heck did that damn woman ask me NOW? She has 5 other days on the week to ask. She even texted. I can understand emails. Why TEXT? She asked for access to download the transcript of the meeting that SHE recorded. If she wants to work on that thing now, that's her own damn business.

I can ignore her, but this time I am mad.

I'm first time mom, my kid is sick, she is much much more difficult than usual.

I know I feel I should not feel like this but every time someone gives me like the tone of voice at work like oh you should not tell me that or why are you talking to me like that? It makes me feel like I’m the bad guy. I’m just trying to help out or I’m just doing What my coworker says. At times I wanna yell at them, but I can’t because I will get in trouble and it’s unfair. They do to me this all the time and yet when they do it, I have to listen to them cause I have to let it go. I hope one day someone will understand why I do these things and let me finish my sentences or at least explain myself because I am not the bad guy no one is. I feel like this at times. I hope they will understand what I have been going through as well.

I used to think hard work and performance actually meant something, but now? I give up. Every day at my job, it’s less about who does the best work and more about who checks the right boxes. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m just showing up, doing my best, and watching people get ahead for reasons that have nothing to do with skill or effort. At first, I tried to ignore it. I thought, Okay, just focus on your own progress, keep your head down, and things will even out. But they don’t. Instead of real career development, all we get is more “woke” initiatives, endless diversity trainings, and company-wide emails patting themselves on the back for promoting people based on identity instead of talent. Don’t get me wrong—I believe in fairness, equal chances, all that. But that’s not what this is. It’s not about fairness; it’s about looking good on paper. I’ve watched coworkers bust their ass for years, only to get passed over for someone less experienced because “we need more representation in leadership.” It’s like performance doesn’t matter anymore—just optics. And it’s exhausting pretending it doesn’t get to me.

I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, but lately, I’m asking myself why? If the promotions, raises, and recognition are going to people based on factors completely outside of their work, then what’s the point? Every meeting feels like another round of performative nonsense. We can’t even talk about improving sales or efficiency without someone throwing in a forced social angle, as if productivity is suddenly a dirty word. And don’t even get me started on the “optional” events that aren’t really optional—if you don’t attend the latest DEI seminar or pride workshop, you’re suddenly not a “team player.” Meanwhile, the actual job we’re here to do keeps getting harder, expectations keep rising, and the only thing that isn’t improving is the people actually running things. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this new version of the workplace, but at this point, I don’t care anymore. I’ve seen what gets rewarded and what doesn’t, and it’s clear that playing fair isn’t the way to win. So yeah—I give up. Not because I can’t keep up, but because I’m tired of pretending this system makes any sense.

I’ve always had a habit of joking about myself, but lately, I’m starting to think it’s getting out of control. Self deprecating humor was kinda my thing—it made people laugh, made me seem approachable, and honestly, it helped me cover up any awkwardness. At work, it felt like the easiest way to fit in. Like, if I made fun of myself first, no one else could. “Oh yeah, I totally butchered that presentation,” or “Classic me, messing up again.” At first, it was just harmless banter, but now? It’s like I can’t say anything about myself without adding a joke at my own expense.... It's like if self deprecating at work has ruined my confidence... And the worst part? I think people have started to believe it. At first, they laughed along, but now, I catch these looks—like they’re wondering if I actually am bad at my job. Maybe they don’t trust me to handle big projects. Maybe I’ve been so good at making myself the office joke that they actually see me that way now.

The other day, I overheard two coworkers talking about me—nothing mean, but one of them said something like, “Yeah, he’s funny, but you can’t really take him seriously. He even says so himself.” That hit me way harder than it should have. I realized that all these little jokes, all the ways I downplayed myself, were actually making people see me as... less. Less competent. Less reliable. Less professional. I’d been so busy making sure no one saw me as arrogant that I accidentally convinced them I wasn’t worth much at all. And honestly, now I don’t even know if I believe in myself anymore. It’s one thing to use humor to connect with people, but it’s another thing to make yourself look incapable. And now? I feel like I’ve spent the last year making myself sound like a joke, and everyone—including me—started believing it. The weird thing is, I never even felt that insecure before. But now? Now I hear my own words playing back in my head, and they don’t feel like jokes anymore.

Now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to undo it. I wanna be taken seriously at work, but how do I suddenly stop making jokes about myself without looking like I’m trying too hard? It feels weird to just start acting confident when I’ve spent so much time making it clear I wasn’t. And the worst part? Even when I try to stop, those thoughts are still there. Like, what if I really am just average? What if they’re right? It’s like I tricked myself into seeing myself the same way I made everyone else see me. And the truth is, I don’t wanna be seen that way anymore. I know I need to change this before it completely wrecks my career, but I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I need to fake confidence until it becomes real. Maybe I need to just stop talking so much and let my work speak for itself. Or maybe, I just need to figure out how to stop believing every joke I ever made about myself.

I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE your own ideas and requirements but don’t say them upfront. You wait until I’ve completed everything and then demand a full revision of my work.

From the start, it was agreed that I would be fully responsible for designing this website. But now that I’ve designed it, you keep insisting on changes. And then you tell me that if I had scheduled a meeting earlier, none of these issues would have happened.

You were the one who asked me to design it, and now you’re the one saying it doesn’t look good. In the end, you also want everything done according to your exact preferences. Why the hell didn’t you just lay out your design from the beginning? Now that I’ve done all the work, you want it entirely your way!

I really hate it when people keep their ideas to themselves and only start nitpicking after I’ve already done the work. If you’re so great at it, do it yourself! Damn it!

I must have been out of my mind to agree to be your business partner!

In what world is a college basketball coach worth 1.2 million dollars for an annual salary? How can a coach make more money annually than the University President? For that matter, how can a university president be worth an annual salary of over $500,000?! Hey good for them! If the university is willing to pay that kind of money then who are they to say no. I just think it is out of line for people who work in an office, Mondays thru Fridays with weekends, nights and holidays off to make more that $250,000 per year. Just saying.....

Should I resign for my mental health or should I stay to provide my family?