Workplace Drama

Experiencing anxiety chills can be quite disruptive, especially in professional settings. During critical work meetings where I am tasked with presenting in front of the team, I often find myself overtaken by intense chills whenever my anxiety reaches its peak. This physiological response not only causes embarrassment but also significantly impacts my ability to focus and maintain a coherent train of thought throughout the presentation. The trembling becomes so pronounced that it feels almost insurmountable to deliver the content smoothly and confidently.

In seeking solutions to manage this challenge, I've encountered references to various techniques in stress management literature that reportedly assist in mitigating these instances. 'Progressive muscle relaxation' is frequently mentioned as an effective method for reducing anxiety-induced physical symptoms. Additionally, cognitive behavioral strategies intended to reframe anxious thoughts have shown promise in relieving some of the mental strain associated with public speaking scenarios. Although these approaches offer hope, it remains a continuous journey of trial and error while striving to overcome this personal obstacle within professional contexts.

Anyone also impacted by taht at work?

I don't feel like writing much, because it will be problematic later, very unstable. When I leave, I don't know if I'll be able to carry this sense of coherence there, wherever I am, to manage myself as if I were here, calm, relaxed, at the mercy of all the available services, as I should have outside. Outside, there's nothing that allows me to recharge with confidence. I don't even feel the possibility of having the same space, of anything. I have no stability outside; there's nothing that allows me to feel settled, that allows me to feel calm, relaxed. Right now, I'm going through all that stress, the feeling that I can't create the same environments with apps as I do here, with this calm. I feel my calm is conditional, bitter, meaningless, as if the future will be worse. I feel like I have to pretend nothing's wrong, like nothing's happening, just like when I go to the office. While I'm experiencing one thing on the outside, I'm experiencing something else entirely there, and I always try to make everything an extension of myself. Somehow, I can't keep fighting to hold on; it's not in my nature. It's feeling like I'm not living my life in harmony with the present circumstances, to gain control, to be able to dominate them. It's feeling like life is abandoning me in this holistic way, that the people aren't giving me the tools to deal with the problems.

Wow, I'm also exhausted from talking, talking, and talking. My boss is such a defensive person; he sees everything as a threat. Anything that deviates from his norms, anything that exposes him, he attacks. He goes against everyone, acting in the hope that people won't do anything, perpetuating the battle until the very end, hoping for some light that will pull him out of it, but it's not like that. I didn't allow it in the final moments. He tries to operate through omissions, so that no one can say anything, and that's not being with others. He acts as if nothing is wrong, as if everything is a fit of anxiety. Sure, people leave him, betray him—it's incredible the world that guy lives in. Always checking, always verifying. With such insecurity, perhaps it would be better for him to go to a cave or his house, because he feels he has to impose his will on everyone. Well, that's how I've felt I've had to operate with the apps, when I write and write, trying to control the space, to spread ideas, possible movements. Indeed, after the incidents with him, where people initially saw me as the stranger, and then they saw him, definitively, because it was indeed happening.

The guy's a scoundrel, he takes things for what he wants, that's why he's always in that state of panic and intense stress, and you ask him to understand. Frankly, I'm tired of giving him excuses to come back. I've already built a wall with him; I wasn't going to let him return. I was going to make him regret coming back, to make him realize that returning to me would come with consequences, which is exactly what he didn't want—something that would affect him and be reversible. If I don't treat him severely, the guy won't leave. Well, that's how I had to treat my father to put him in his place. It's exhausting writing. I feel that pressure from when I left, when I felt like I was writing under pressure, not writing for fear of losing the data on the device. I felt that thing that made me unable to write, but rather cling to it, let myself go because there would be no risk, because there would be nothing to motivate me to move quickly to achieve my goal. I feel like it's self-sabotage in some way. I can't work with my boss, it's impossible. The guy is too unstable for me. He's always getting involved in shady dealings, he doesn't take care of himself at all, he's always covering up problems instead of solving them, he acts impulsively and recklessly. I can't be with him, it's impossible, and believe me, I tried to mediate all of that, but he didn't take advantage of it. He thinks he knows everything, and he doesn't. I don't want to think what it would have been like if this had happened to me, precisely because I acted according to my own words and not according to the collective's. He got to the other extreme and then just detached himself, ignoring all the evidence. At least I have the benefit of the ethics of evidence.

It's so annoying to write under stress, knowing that I have limitations. I wish I weren't focused on limitations, but rather on feeling that something that leads to the infinite, without problems. My boss always wanted everything to be at his mercy, no matter what, regardless of anything, so he could be at ease and move forward, without worrying about whether I could do anything unless it suited him. Everything was for him, by him, and without having asked permission. I felt like I was being held captive by him, and if I said anything, he would accuse me of wrongdoing, with that authoritarian attitude he adopted, and then say, "Well, I agreed." It was an abuse of power, that way he didn't control me.

Frankly, I'm not in the mood for my boss. He started to back down when he saw his own actions leading him to ruin, to fall for nothing. That's why he isolated himself from me more and more, to avoid problems. But things reached a breaking point because he was neglecting his work; he wasn't facing the staff in front of him. He was avoiding them in a way. He only wanted what was under his control, what he chose, what he could dominate. The guy was that awful with his employees and thought we didn't notice. Frankly, I'm not interested in his life; I'm only interested in doing my job. How unpleasant! The guy always acts like everything's fine, like he treats me well so he doesn't seem bad, and believe me, I've made him stick his tongue out at me several times. His faces and gestures didn't work this time to cover up his dirty tricks. I told myself he wasn't going to get away with this, no matter what games he played. I wasn't going to put up with his drama. Frankly, it's time that guy realized he's at a job, not some place where he thinks he can do whatever he pleases. There are responsibilities, there are relationships, and this time, using the office as a shield is isolating himself from everyone else, from the hierarchy, from his duties. It's the worst thing he could have done, and yet he thinks he's a god because of it, the best, the absolute best, and that's not how it works. I'm not going to be with him, and it infuriates me to say that. I had to tell him in the worst way possible because after the tragedies in my country, when he came looking for me, after everything he did to me, to help him in the office, I shut him down. I didn't even ask how he was. The guy had to understand once and for all.

The guy thinks you're only with him as long as he sees some hope of coming back, of giving in. He considers the physical abuse temporary, thinking that ignoring him because it doesn't last forever means it's just a passing thing, but it's not. When the top management in the office told me about a pending task, he assumed it was a favor, as if I were out of the office or something. But no, he's not in charge there; those higher-ups are, and I made that clear to him. I honestly didn't care how he felt or how nervous he was. I was going to make him respect me as an employee, and I was fed up with him being so clueless, with him seeing everything as his personal domain, his personal kingdom in the office, which it isn't. Because of that mindset, I hurt my friend. I resolved, even before the authorities got involved, to eradicate it. But with the authorities' involvement, it turned out to be an invasive tactic, a way for them to establish themselves in those spaces, for all the other reasons. The guy was trying to provoke me into conflict on all sides, but I wouldn't let him. He tried to doubt me, my abilities, to extract information from me, but I wouldn't allow it. I had no reason to. I don't have to give him information about what should be done; it's time he got his bearings.

Personally, at this point, I'm not interested in my boss, his ideals, his principles, or anything like that. I don't care, I shouldn't care, and I never should have. I should never have trusted him in the first place, or taken a chance on him; that was a huge mistake. Encountering such a reckless, rule-breaker, chameleon-like person is something I can't allow myself to do again. Who does this guy think he is, playing with my life as he pleases? I'm sorry, but he doesn't interfere in my spaces, on my turf, and for his image, honestly, I don't have to stand out. I do it because of the law, whether he likes it or not, and it was quite a fight because for him, the point was to make himself look good, to make him look good at all costs, when I was acting in my own best interest, defending my principles, as I should too. I wasn't in a group to avoid confronting others' doubts; quite the opposite, it's about confronting them. That's why I don't want to anymore, because those people are incapable, from any perspective, of taking responsibility for those around them. The issue boils down to his principles and mine before the collective, so that these are what prevail. That's why I gave my best tool, I was the one who made the best judgment. If we're going to play with popularity to see who comes out on top, unfortunately, empathy no longer exists because one is essentially focused on the collective, not on the other. My boss wanted to go down that road, so, well, if that's how he wanted to play the game, then I went for it. He wanted to act in isolation from the office, while I, on the other hand, acted in the best interests of the company, in the best interests of each individual. You're there to be with everyone, not to stage a show of support; that's not the spirit. That's definitely an attack on the company, and that's what I got, because they forgot that they're part of it, that they also have to be mindful of its consequences. I had to get out of there.

What a drag to write. Luckily, I'm holding on; I've discovered I can hold on. But I feel an inertia, well, not a desire to do anything, but a headache that expresses the need to process the thousand angers in my head, to form thoughts that give concrete form to everything I went through in that environment. I'm constantly digging and digging to see how far I can go, always discovering a variety of new things. I expose myself to experiences in order to make the most of everything, to extract as much knowledge as possible. I am tired of going out, though, because I feel like the town's services are on one side and I'm on the other. The town's services don't work well anywhere, and devices have such short battery lives. I always have to worry about the battery when I'm writing or using apps, and it's stressful because without devices, you're isolated from the world, and that's a problem. It's not just the devices themselves, but being connected to the world. This isolation from the world, which is actually from everyone thanks to the internet, isn't pleasant. I admit it's not something I can stand. Well, I can live with it for a while, and I think that's okay because I depend on my own resources, but beyond that, it's impossible. It would be like going insane. Everything is expensive, prices are rising, I worry about my salary, about my life, because I don't know how long I'll receive family support. At any moment my family could leave and I could be left destitute, completely forgotten about my life, unable to live it, and I don't want that. For some time now I've felt the will to move forward, not to wait for that to happen and succumb to the drastic shock. I'm thinking about achieving some tolerance in this regard, on my own. I think about leaving my friend at the office, since I've already done what I had to do with her, leaving her in good shape, but that's not the idea either, to leave her alone. The idea is to continue together, to remain a group, to keep getting together, sharing those moments of touching that vulnerable part of us, which isn't even sexually attractive, but rather that which is unseen and where scenarios of great pain materialize. They are exposed and ignored; it's there where we feel, it's there where we feel we can communicate, because our bodies express that feeling and we express that appreciation, that warmth, that rich and meaningful connection between us. However, I don't think this is a reason to do it, but a part of me says yes. I feel that I start from her to live the rest of my life the way I like. I feel that because of her I have a reason to fight, to grow, to sustain myself, to do pleasant things, to care for others, so that it is valued in some way, from that intimate, pleasant thing, from that inspiration that I see being planted in her. She is very special to me and I can't leave her, and that's why I can't leave my life either. I love her so much.

I don't know if my boss has ever told my friend that I love her; she's a very funny person, her boss. There are many things to think about. Recently, I was out and about, and it was so hard to write because I felt like I had to keep an eye on the battery, the internet connection, everything, just to be able to do what I wanted calmly. I'm no longer calm where I'm going; I don't live in that state. I feel like I want to express things that that calm space allows me to, but I struggle more to be there, creating that "being" which isn't the point. I feel like the people aren't supporting me in that sense. I want to talk about government, about the State, about reflecting calmly, about sowing my seeds, but I'm finding myself in difficulties. I feel like I can achieve a lot, but at the cost of a lot of effort, and it makes me feel like it's not worth going there to write, to think, to research, to study, to meditate, etc., etc. That's exactly how I feel about the office, and that's why I want to leave. I feel like I have to focus on a job that definitely doesn't contribute anything to my development. Even the conversations aren't good; the work doesn't offer me anything educational. I only see conflicts, contempt for people, contempt for the world, and disorder. Well, I learn something from it, but that's not the point. The point is to gain some training, some added value from the company's product, and that's the last thing I find. I don't feel like I have the opportunity to be curious or ask questions because the goal isn't the education of others, but rather simplistic, bitter, indecent conversations, devoid of rich conclusions or learning. There's nothing more to add. Curiosity isn't well-received because there's a fear that I'll stray from the norm, and reading is seen as something uninspiring, something that won't break the mold. What a bitter place this office is; I have no desire to go there. Even reading is problematic in the places I like to go. I don't feel at peace anywhere; I even have to fight for my space because I feel like I have no space at all. I feel like I have no rules other than those of the law itself, which is often ignored. I kicked my boss in the butt out of a sad respect for hierarchy, and that was it. He was lectured about it, which made me take things to the extreme. My boss, pretending otherwise after the tragedies in my country, took it as a violation of his principles: he cares about the company, and he didn't appreciate it at all. Naturally, I cut him out of my life. With my friend, who's where all this mess started, I felt valued, as did her group and the rest of the office. The thing is very simple: The office doesn't belong to them, I don't belong to them, I'm not part of them; I belong to the company. But it seems they took it as if I wanted to escape, as if I were deliberately abandoning them according to the rules, according to that same slip-up, like my boss used to do. And now I understand why they treated me with the reprisals he always felt I deserved.

Dealing with passive aggressive people in the workplace is like dancing on eggshells. You never really know when you're going to step wrong and crack one open, revealing underlying tensions and frustrations. My new manager, let's call him 'Tim,' is the epitome of passive aggression. Every interaction is a carefully constructed puzzle filled with indirect jabs and thinly veiled sarcasm that leaves me questioning my sanity! I mean, has anyone else experienced this? 😅 It's like he's read 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' but got all the wrong messages from it.

Just last week, he sent an email with the subject line: "Great job...sort of." The body of the message praised my work on a recent project but concluded with "too bad it wasn't what we needed." Talk about a backhanded compliment! Venting here because I'm at my wit's end needing some advice or coping strategies. How do you guys handle this kind of behavior? I'm trying to stay professional while not letting his comments seep into my self-esteem. Some say confronting such people is key, yet others warn it might escalate the situation;; Thoughts?

why do i feel like everyone is against me? 🤔 that's the burning question that keeps haunting my thoughts these days. it's been two months since i joined this new job, and honestly, i thought things were going pretty well (at least that's what i assumed). i'm as fast-paced and efficient as they come (not to toot my own horn or anything), but instead of feeling welcomed or appreciated for my speed and efficiency, it's like i'm an outsider among colleagues who seem to be stuck in an ancient time warp where everything moves at a snail's pace!! 😅 before my arrival, they appeared to be doing almost nothing all day long. every task seemed to stretch on endlessly with zero urgency involved, which seemed weird to me at first. i mean... seriously?! i've always tried my best not to step on anyone's toes while working here, hoping we could all coexist peacefully without any drama or tension getting in the way of productivity today at work; however, it felt different from how everything started off initially. sounds crazy right? maybe it's just paranoia setting up camp inside my head convincing me people dislike change especially when someone new shakes things up?? perhaps they're intimidated by the workload suddenly requiring more effort than chilling out twiddling thumbs endlessly gets old eventually too!! truth be told: coming into such environments can sometimes cause ripple effects among teammates resistant towards progressions expecting equal participation fairness equality - you name it friends - sigh fixing conflicts arising team dynamics phase hesitance present fresh perspectives being honestly given doesn't solve matters automatically magically disappear overnight apart subtle adjustments gradual background mutual understanding empathy directed partnerships via stronger communication channels along balancing collective expectations varied paces individual levels ultimately achieve harmonious workspaces where productivity reigns supreme bringing balance unparalleled teamwork enthusiasm reignited allowing less stress heightened morale positivity boost nonetheless 🙌 so here's holding onto hope we find ways meet demands collaboratively creating happier workplace fostering growth both professionally personally despite occasional misunderstandings natural occur over course adjusting settling routines thankfully amazing bosses who've continually supported guided encouraging remain determined focused end goal emerge victorious blending past future propelling unified brighter prospects stemming hardwork dedication regardless temporary odds obstructing path tackling turning weaknesses strengths approaching everyday circumstances renewed optimism smile place confidence outstanding capabilities unfailingly shine 😀

i don't know why but it's always been like this. working as a financial consultant, i get sent all over the place for different missions every month or so. you'd think i'd be used to it by now. but nope, each new place i go, i find myself getting super attached to the people i meet there.

it's hard because just when i'm starting to really click with folks, it's time for me to pack up and move on to the next assignment. it's like my brain knows it's a temp thing but my heart doesn't get the memo, ya know? i've met so many cool peeps in different cities and worked with them closely on these projects... then bam, it's done and onto somewhere else.

i try to stay professional and keep a boundary of sorts but man, sometimes it just feels like i'm leaving behind friends not just coworkers. makes ending a mission kinda bittersweet even if the job itself is all wrapped up nice and tidy.

i dunno how others do it. they seem to handle this part of the gig way better than i do. maybe they've figured out some secret trick that keeps them from going all in emotionally or something.

It's very difficult for me to let go of that blockade, because it was a bitter experience, very hard for me. Living with that feeling of being blocked for so long was awful, terrible, something I never want to relive. It's horrible to be blocked at your own workplace; it's dreadful. You feel completely excluded, marginalized, out of touch, without any appreciation whatsoever, especially when the authorities do absolutely nothing. It's unbelievable, the lack of consideration is brutal. But of course, the point is that being blocked, in a way, doesn't necessarily mean you're blocked. The fact that a communication channel is closed doesn't necessarily mean communication has been cut off. It's necessary to adapt the relationship to the situation, especially if there's a work-related aspect involved, in order to make the whole thing truly effective. My friend decided to dedicate herself to it, to commit herself fully. She couldn't allow her efforts to be wasted. She was actually looking out for us, for the work; she acted collaboratively with it, and she certainly did a great deal of good. Of course, I'm speaking from my own perspective, and legally speaking, I'm as clean as the paper it's written on.

What happened at the office was a nightmare. Because of this mental block, I've felt dizzy, like I'm having trouble moving around normally, like I always do. I've had to be indifferent to certain situations, and I feel like it's been harder for me to be at the office because those cases where there are possibilities, where there are resources, aren't being taken into account. In fact, I feel like, because of this mental block, I'm sacrificing my work for the sake of us. But something has to be done; we can't just pretend nothing is happening, not at all. It's difficult for me to get around at work with this block, because I also feel that there will be times when it will be necessary to contact my friend, but the bosses themselves think it's not necessary, when it is, it is, it's not a matter of putting up with it, of pretending nothing is happening, I'm made invisible in my work spirit, it's made clear that I'm not part of the coworkers, I'm excluded from the office for good, with that block, I'm left out, and a few simple hugs don't make a difference. I don't sit in the office because I'm not part of the whole office, because I've been completely restricted from one part, and an office is all of its parts. But I don't think they understand that at all. I've definitely had to live like that, marginalized, outside the office, and nobody has noticed at all. And if I do say something, people will focus not on ethics, but on immediate consequences, because I don't perform any specific function. They don't think about the worst-case scenario, but rather about the current normality, something I used against my boss to corner him, to make his arbitrariness his worst nightmare, because that's precisely where his problems came from—when I stood up for him, when I was able to recognize when he was out of control, and in that way, expose his tyrannical spirit once and for all.

Anyway, I don't feel like I belong in that office, and what it says on paper is a complete lie. It's barely a payroll. I think I sought it out lately to lessen the marginalization as much as possible, simply trying to make her my friend at all costs so I'd feel compensated for it. After several blocks, of course, after going through so much, in a desperate attempt to avoid feeling trapped, I don't think the authorities understand this at all. They can be however they want, their senses can act as they please, they can do whatever they want because they're pleased by others, by her, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm definitely dispensable, not at all. Seeing her post in the group chat hurts because I have to live at the mercy of uncertainty, have to find third parties to talk to her, and also find myself under her restrictions, just like what happened with my boss. I feel like I tore my boss to shreds by not standing up for me against this marginalization, by trying to silence her at all costs, by not doing anything about it. Well, resorting to aggressive, coercive tactics with her was the last straw and made me do everything possible to bring that criminal spirit to light.

In that office, they know absolutely nothing about mental health, and I have to navigate this constant tension to prevent them from telling me to just ignore her. They're not interested in human resources, they don't care, it's not a concern for them at all. They're completely out of touch with what a work structure is, and for that reason, I'm not going to waste my breath on them.

Let them resolve their problems and issues among themselves; after all, they are the ones who know best. Personally, I feel I can live without this girl, friend, whatever she is—it's shameful to call someone a friend who fired me, who got me fired, without any justification, in defense of my rights, even though I was well-placed. But I was never going to stop being a good citizen for her sake; in fact, I was going to strengthen my commitment, I was going to act as best I could, all to do my part, which, by the way, was appreciated later on at the company. But it wasn't free; it came at the cost of everyone now being embroiled in conflict, of a living hell being sown. Of course, I moved pieces, I moved funds. I think if the law had helped me, it would have created even worse problems for others, unfortunately. But seeing how I acted to do my part, to promote the greatest possible harmony on her part, and seeing how that company became a hellhole instead, with that girl, that feeling that I'm okay with her, within my means, and they aren't, is something I somehow feel. That's more rewarding than the law, because somehow it makes them feel like I do, that feeling of being singled out, that feeling of her being with you and you not knowing why, that feeling of being disoriented. It's gratifying that they're finally putting themselves in my shoes. And what's even more gratifying is the risk of her blocking me again, so that this girl will come face to face with someone she'll actually be afraid of, someone who will make her face the consequences of her actions. It's exposing her to someone with whom things aren't easy, by having the fights she's currently having at the company, putting everyone at risk of something happening, of turning everything into a living hell, of making them feel like they can't take it anymore. Seeing that point makes me feel completely relieved, because it makes me see that they're going through what I did, and that no one else saw. Ironically, even though I'm the one who could talk the most, I do nothing. I turn a blind eye, just like they did to me.

As for my boss, well, let him see what life is like, let it play tricks on him, let it put him in the middle of anger, in the middle of something that shouldn't have happened, let it make him lose everything, let it disturb his peace. That's what my last moments with him were like, and by the way, in his case, it really weighs heavily on him, it's enough to make that office his tomb. He doesn't care about my peace, and I'll do the same to him. He used to make a living by turning a blind eye and creating problems for me, with the girl doing her thing with me, without him seeing a thing. Now the situation has changed. Now I'm him with him, and the girl is doing things with him. The roles have changed, so that once and for all, they learn to respect me. Unlike all of them, I'm perfectly legal, but they aren't, not among themselves, and I'm not going to do anything about it to protect him. I'll turn my back on them. It's their problem if they come out looking good or bad; let them see what they do to me.

I couldn't let my friend be harmed. I couldn't let a legal trick by the bosses take her away from me, especially since they encouraged this behavior. Their malicious actions, exploiting loopholes and turning a blind eye, allowed her to do whatever she wanted, without any limitations whatsoever. No one said a word to her unless she was backed into a corner. It wasn't fair. My friend was completely closed off. I can't say I obstructed the law because there was no open case or authority that could intervene, no relevant authority whatsoever. But I was going to find a way to protect my friend. We were developing a close relationship, and I wasn't going to let them take her away from me. I don't conspire with everyone, and it's not fair that I should lose my friends, especially one who guided me through those blocks, who prevented my bosses from finding me out as a harasser or abuser, even if that wasn't the case, but she protected me, she cared for me, and she also got me out of the clutches of this controlling boss I had. That definitely had to have some value; I mean, I felt like she was blocking me. The office blockades, and the way they were implemented, are against the law, indeed. However, I can't say I defended them, but I did everything I could to be with my friend, for us to become friends. I finally had that opportunity, and she was acting on it, so I protected her at all costs. I made my boss show his true colors, what he was made of, how he played with people's health, how he played with the rules and all that. He wasn't going to be seen as the hero of the greater good when he never earned it. He was going to use the girl as a prize, to completely deflect attention, to enforce the law as he wanted in his favor, abusing my friend's process of us becoming friends, of us being together. I confess, it's incredibly difficult to reason, especially after the writer's block. I still feel it, it makes me want to do something else while I write, it makes me want to run away from these words. I wasn't going to let my boss get away with it, especially when his work affected millions of people, turning them into some kind of commodity or something. I wasn't going to allow it. However, despite everything, I chose to act silently, calmly, so that I would always be protected. It's fine that she's my friend, but I also need my own legal protection to act, and I acted accordingly. Well, I feel that somehow I'm lifting my gaze, my head, after observing the block. I feel that somehow I was stuck there all this time, for quite a few months, and I mean quite a few. I feel that I can finally turn away and focus on something else.

That situation, with her as the aggressor, definitely hasn't stopped, and I don't know if anyone can take action. The truth is, I got out of it. Besides, if my boss reported me, it would ruin the rest of the office, just as he wanted, to save himself from everyone else's disgrace. He wanted to make me face the consequences of his actions, of being a scoundrel who manipulated the bureaucracy as he pleased, just like he did with me, manipulating promises. I had to weigh up the options: was it him getting away with it, doing whatever he wanted, destroying the lives of millions of people, or acting for the girl, who had me completely blocked at the office, but who was something I could live with. At least it would allow me to do something about my boss, who was already distracted, and put him in his place once and for all. The guy took me and did whatever he wanted with me, without my permission, under the guise of institutional protection, claiming it was abandonment. The girl can unblock me if she wants, just by saying so, but of course, that will raise other suspicions about other situations. However, that's not my problem anymore. I can only look out for myself, try to minimize the legal intervention while something can still be done, always under her watch, of course. Wow, I've spent so much time staring at that blocked phone; it's like it absorbed me completely, for God's sake. Somehow, that blocked phone led me to see the office, to get me out of there, to throw me out of its confines through my perception, to see where I was. It was the last straw, madness. I feel like I can finally see the office in the distance, as it always should have been. What a misfortune to have worked with such a corrupt boss, where I always had to turn a blind eye. The guy was clearly an abuser. What a relief to finally feel free from that mental block. I never thought I'd overcome it. I feel like it somehow forced me to strain my eyes, to look at everything, to describe it. I finally feel good, after so long. I couldn't file a complaint, but the authorities have been good.

Definitely, this attempt they were making to finally expose my boss, to show that he was doing whatever he wanted with the paperwork, was something I had to fully support, because he was truly corrupt. In fact, it seems to me that he wasn't applying any methodology or anything like that on purpose, with the aim of dismantling the current administration; rather, everything was learned on the fly. In other words, it was all intentional, and now I understand why they were trying to smear me, because I would see the things that would clearly expose them. The guy thought I wouldn't act based on my own knowledge, that I would take it all in stride, but that wasn't the case. I was always informed about everything, seeing the big picture. I wasn't going to let my friend be led astray and thus tear the administration to shreds. He'd also wanted to dismantle the other department we shared with for some time now, to do things his way. He was a criminal, from every point of view, undeclared, not protected by bureaucracy; however, this young woman wasn't acting criminally, she wasn't marginalizing me in any way, she was guiding me, making full use of the arrangement we had. She was acting with complete sanity, unaware that the law would see it as marginalization, and what she was doing wasn't marginalization. The blockade was simply defining our relationship within our environment, in the office, safeguarding it, making it possible, preventing it from collapsing, of course, for the absolute benefit of the hierarchy as a facilitator of information. Anything beyond work would be dangerous, it would inflame things. I couldn't allow my boss's opinion to dictate the matter, a clear abuse of external influence.

Frankly, I'm afraid to discuss this with an AI, to make arguments, because the issue doesn't apply. For her to be marginalizing me with a block shows a complete lack of understanding of the very essence of a block. The button says "block," but that doesn't mean communication is blocked. On the contrary, it allows, it shapes, it structures. That's crucial to understand. This isn't about just any relationship; it's about applying it to the relationship itself. That's the point. I wasn't going to let her effort go to waste. In fact, she's not being provocative with me at all; quite the opposite. She's helping the relationship flourish, even professionally. What she did was perfectly fine, despite any prejudices. She acted in favor of the job, its stability, so we could be together, so that work wouldn't be an obstacle in any way. She acted for us. Wow, it's hard for me to say this because the whole "block button" thing is often interpreted as a complete block, when it's not always like that. Because, I insist, it guides, coordinates, and establishes a form of communication that expresses a "no" that isn't appropriate. My boss wasn't going to abuse that, and I wasn't going to try to gain power over her. She's my friend, I love her very much.

I'm afraid that office doesn't know how to protect itself at all. I'm prepared to file a complaint against this girl, and if they respond aggressively, I can calmly state that they're marginalizing me and protecting her, that they're enabling this situation, and that the office has long been in need of intervention. I have absolutely nothing to lose, however, that's not my intention. What I do want is to be protected from any danger while I'm in that office, from that girl's behavior, in case there's any trouble, or from anyone else. Simply pretending that everyone else is different isn't enough to protect myself; I need to feel like I have the office under my control, that everything is in my hands. At least that way, people will leave me alone and allow me to do what I want. Ironically, this girl sacrificed herself, as well as the very authorities she so fiercely defended and loved, and everyone else—their jobs, their employment, everything. She unwittingly placed them all in my hands, all because of her closed-mindedness, her self-imposed nature, her insistence on always being the way she wanted, on having only the friends she wanted, and that's it. She defended others, embraced others, loved others, and because others couldn't handle it out of fear. They were all condemned by her. She took everyone for a ride, of course, all thanks to her absolute assumptions, her prejudices against me, her failure to know me, her refusal to go beyond her own rules, her belief that things are the way they are, without considering whether they are protected by law or not. In other words, she definitely doesn't keep up with the times. This is the risk of not preparing to be a citizen. The premises were under my absolute control, primarily because of my own boss, who now acts as a slave to my family to avoid problems, conflicts, and any legal issues, or to avoid tarnishing his image. The man dared to call my father and is now under the full force of his wrath, the height of his fury, all for wanting to push beyond his limits. My boss was a dangerous individual who managed to escape from everywhere and was resisting capture, and I turned him in, both to the authorities and to my family. In other words, the man dug his own grave in the office, without me being able to do anything more. The girl's blocking me is infuriating. Honestly, I feel completely marginalized, ostracized from the office, at risk of something happening that would prevent me from contacting her directly. This has really bothered me, because what happens in the group, what comes up publicly, is everyone's problem and ours alone. I don't feel taken into account at all; in fact, I feel totally excluded. Anything that happens involving her affects me, fills me with thoughts, and then I can't do anything but stay silent, hold back, simply disappear, at the mercy of this marginalization. Meanwhile, the authorities can do whatever they want, and behind my back, contact her however they please, and she allows it, leaving me out of the loop, thinking I'm the only one who hasn't been able to reach her.

Things really got to this point. There was a situation with a family member where he died, and precisely because of my silence, my lack of communication, I was left completely adrift. When she posted about it in the group, everyone else was able to do something, to talk about it, except me, without any justification. The authorities, however, were able to. What a terrible pain. It's hard to describe because I feel like I have to fight against the mental block it left me with. The impact is as if it wants to drastically stop me from writing, as if it won't allow me to write. The pain is so intense, the pressure is so overwhelming, it's just too much to write. When they announced his death, I didn't know if he had died or if he was already there. I was completely in a daze, not knowing what was happening, what was going to happen, what to do. I simply didn't write, and I was surprised that everyone else posted their condolences and all that. The girl couldn't give me the information; she was afraid of rejecting me. She didn't know what to do. She's someone who doesn't know what she's doing. However, under the guise of blocking her, she's getting into serious trouble, and I was just graduating from university, so I couldn't allow this. The person who was trying to manipulate her, even at the cost of making her give in, I tore her to shreds because that's definitely not the way to deal with her. Things didn't go according to the standards of support I had received, support that I felt was worthy of me, and that's why I got angry with her.

I feel like that girl is living the high life right now, despite being an aggressor against me, someone who marginalizes me, and I'm even allowing it. How can I be friends with someone who excludes me from her life, for God's sake? How can I be friends with someone I don't see as just another coworker? The thing is, I can't really consider her a coworker because that office doesn't behave like an office at all; it's more of a social hub. Rules are completely irrelevant there, which is why I didn't file a complaint. Even though there are contracts and everything, the spirit of the law is entirely nonexistent. There's nothing there that establishes a regulatory framework, and there are no authorities to enforce it. People there don't know the law, except to run away. Work is a joke, an escape from life. What matters there is socializing, not the company itself. The company is secondary; in fact, the company is used for socializing, not for actual work. My contract might say one thing, but reality is quite different. That's why I never acted according to the blockade; in fact, I made it the least important thing in the matter so that the girl wouldn't be ruined. In fact, that's why I told my boss to go to hell, so that whatever he did would radically undermine him, so that his much-loved reputation would be destroyed. I wasn't interested in the girl being reported in any way; I was interested in her getting ahead. After the roadblocks started, they began to take her seriously, and the issue of the social center was going to change radically; it was heading in that direction, it was going to be abused, of course, because the incentives weren't implemented on time, so that my boss could get away with it, destroy the life of that girl who wasn't aware of what she was doing, who was in the process of getting to know me—I'm glad to be able to write despite feeling that block, which is quite drastic; I've been writing constantly to get to the root of it, but it's not easy.

It had been many months of feeling blocked, enduring things. I couldn't allow my boss to take advantage of the law; it wasn't fair, especially since I had encouraged that young woman to fully embrace her spirit of socialization. They weren't going to get away with it. I couldn't allow her environment to condemn her. She had a right to a life, to get ahead, to progress, to feel part of society, and to not fulfill that sentence that she wasn't fit to be outside. How fortunate that young woman was, both in terms of the affection of that family and the affection of others. The young woman could improve, and she has, and it hasn't been easy. Besides, they were going to take advantage of her, not having provided the incentive in time, taking her by surprise, and I wasn't going to allow it, all because of those prejudices about women and all that. Definitely, I had to stop, pause, because what they were going to do to her was retaliation for her not conforming to the group; it was going to be an absolute crime.

My boss is one of those people who thrive on marginalizing others, turning his back on them. When something happens, he ignores it, using silence as his main weapon, along with small gestures. But since I'm used to it with my father, I don't care. In fact, I suspect he tried to talk to my father and it backfired. Look, I see the guy and he doesn't know what he's talking about at all. He doesn't know what he's saying, how he's expressing it. The man has clearly been losing his mind for some time now. He's always blaming others for all his problems. I mean, the man doesn't recognize his actions, he doesn't know what he's doing. In fact, I have the impression that everyone in the office is trying to drive him crazy, justifiably, so we can avoid protecting him from falling into the trap where he'll be in for a rude awakening, precisely so we can finally have him at our mercy, under our control, and thus take complete control of the department, which has been out of our hands for quite some time. We don't know how much time we have left after the tragedies in my country, but at least something can be done. We can try to justify his current situation, taking advantage of his elusive nature and the trust of the authorities, who are women, given the pervasive sexism. We need to keep him under control; he makes everything he does work. We need to make all his strategies for clinging on a living hell. Bringing him down to earth only makes him escape again. While we can't get rid of him completely, since he threatens with gossip and other tactics, then let's play the game of subduing him until he changes or leaves. That way, we can have peace of mind and he can make the decision himself. But he has to understand that the company isn't his, and we don't have to submit to him, give him any special treatment, or anything like that. We've been subjected to this for too long, and we've had enough. In fact, one of the heads of the other department arrived late precisely so as not to be involved, not to support him in any way in that hell he'd gotten himself into, that the authorities had put him in, making him look desperate for recognition, like a chauvinist, someone who seeks power at any cost, justifying everything he does, running away from everything—that man who simply doesn't know where he stands and never has, and who uses work as an excuse, being himself completely useless; doing things is utterly pointless.

He wanted me to become part of a family with him so he could have control, but I didn't allow it. It's exhausting to keep zooming in on this issue. I'm tired and I'd like to dedicate myself to something else, to another area of ​​knowledge. However, I don't know what else to do, I don't know where to turn. I feel like my father would get angry if he saw me straying from the path I'm on. He'd be fed up, annoyed if he saw me going my own way, stepping outside my comfort zone, expanding my horizons into other areas of knowledge. For my father, being okay means staying within the established parameters, which in effect shows that he's abusive towards me. He keeps me trapped and at his mercy, but I'm tired of it. I feel I have the right to do as I please, not because of my age, but because I want a different path, I want to explore diverse interests, delve deeper into things. I'm tired of being confined by his rules, just as I'm tired of being confined by my friend's rules, of only focusing on work. We could be friends in that sphere, but I feel—and I have to admit it—that it's a form of coercion. He guides me solely through work, arbitrarily, out of fear of losing her. It makes me feel violated by her, all in the name of her safety, and I don't like that. There are no agreements or anything like that, of course. Making them would reveal her aggressive nature, which she applies to others, her tendency to lie and overwhelm them. It's unbelievable, but it was the only way she had of keeping me around. At the cost of violence, at the cost of that unspoken threat, which my boss imposed on me because I strayed from where he wanted me to be, because I was damaging his image, it's outrageous that he can somehow keep you where he wants you, without your permission. I feel like I'm being treated like an animal, and I'm tired of defending my friend because of it. In fact, I live, in a way, in perpetual conflict with her, and I make it clear to her, and at least she reacts, but not significantly. It's like pretending she can keep all the power she has, as long as she can't control it, and it makes me feel completely absorbed from my life. And I really don't think she understands this because of her thirst for power. I feel just as dominated as when I was with my boss.

I feel just as dominated as when he was around. I don't feel free to talk about what I want, to reach an agreement, or anything like that. Instead, I feel like I have to let this girl lead the way. I feel seemingly free, but I'm not. I feel trapped by this absence, limited to doing what I want because I don't know her terms. I always have to deduce them. Before, I felt a certain freedom with my boss, within the confines of the office, where I didn't allow him to go any further. But with this friend, it's a different game. I feel like I don't know where we're going, what my future holds, what will happen if I do one thing or another. I feel completely immobilized, all because of this whole thing with pursuing her, and of course, she's provoking me too. I don't know why I gave in to her, I don't know why I went to her. She turned out to be my escape from my boss, definitely, but now I'm in a worse place, where I feel like I can't think straight, can't do anything. I have to live at the mercy of focusing on someone else to forget about the whole thing, and it's just not fair. I feel like that's how she's kept me under control, while she goes around shouting that she's so important. I feel hurt, subjugated, and it makes me wonder, when will this nightmare of control end?

I didn't go out into the world to be dominated, not at all. But I feel like I'm exaggerating, like what I'm saying can't be true. How could I have fallen into the same trap as before? Everything was supposed to be different, but it wasn't. I feel like I'm saying something that can't be true, that I'm confused, I feel like I'm in a place, not better, but already outside of all imposition, but a feasible place, I feel like I'm in that, it just so happens that right now I have to do something else and it's hard for me to write. I feel fed up with the whole office thing. I want to leave it behind once and for all. What's done is done, and I feel like I need to move on. But somehow, I'm reacting to this inertia, this need to distance myself, to not be a part of it. Even though I'm on vacation, it's more about completely differentiating where I am from the office. Firstly, because here I end up talking about it, unlike there, which is the fundamental issue. And it's truly embarrassing because I feel like my ideas don't resonate there. They're not prepared for them because they don't know how to read or listen. They detach themselves from the discourse, they don't follow it. When they speak, they don't see the conversation; they try to detach themselves from it by taking preventative measures. It's regrettable, but I also find myself surrounded by people who are, in this sense, completely alienated from the present. What other discoveries will I make in the future? I've already seen so many flaws in that office... I can't even see them as having come from some school, because they don't seem to have come from there. They may know things, about gossip, about social games, but they don't know how to intellectualize in order to socialize and socialize in order to intellectualize, and that's precisely the purpose of school. They are not prepared to be in the country, it must be said now.

I'm fed up with talking about my boss. I've already talked about him far too much. I want to dedicate myself to other things, write about other things, do other things, not just write. My life isn't just about words, and in fact, I feel like they're picking up on my boredom elsewhere and trying to force me into it. I don't want to be involved with anything. There's a girl there too who doesn't care much about her appearance—well, they don't care about it, they just let themselves go, they smoke. I find them awful, a terrible influence, and I'm tired of terrible influences. I don't even want to go out anymore. I'm not interested in hanging around those areas anymore. I want to finally start talking in a way that I like, that I want to talk about. I want to try new experiences, but I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of analysis and analysis and analysis, of words, words, words, and more screens. I want to do something new, something that involves action. My friend isn't here; she's on vacation from the office. I'd like to experience sex, love, friendship, affection, and all that. I feel, in a way, like someone re-entering the world, renewed and capable of doing different things. I feel that this group I'm talking about could cause me problems, and in a way, it's somewhat appealing, but that's because I'm tired of being alone. In fact, I want to keep writing, as I always do. I write and write, but I don't want anyone to pull me out of this. It already happened once when I was going on a trip with someone, and they pulled me out. It was a girl who was in trouble, and I don't want any more trouble, I don't want any more troublemakers. And I can't keep acting like I'm the toughest guy like I always have. I need peace, tranquility, even though I sometimes feel like anything, anything at all, is a possible escape, and I feel like that's what's happening with my friend.

I feel like I'm writing my entire experience again, from beginning to end of these last few moments, but I have nothing else to do, I don't know where to turn. I feel like I should search online for information, but I'm also tired of constantly being informed. I feel tired of life itself, of my life, the way I live it. I feel like life in this society doesn't offer anything new to me, and I confess, I feel strangely about other people. I feel completely different from everyone. I have to admit, I feel like an exception, someone who has done within their family what they've also done outside. In that sense, I feel like a complete, established person, and I don't think anyone understands that. I feel like that group, in some way, sees me as a kind of father figure or something, and I'm tired of being everyone's father. I already have enough with my friend who's completely exhausting me. Damn, there were some really good books I saw, and I didn't pick them up, and they were taken. I feel like my feelings are completely different; it's as if I could be in the present, but I can't discern what I feel, and at the same time, I feel that it's a symmetry with my life, that I already feel I'm, somehow, above the culture, that at least I can see it, and that's why I say I'm on top, or at least from an angle that allows me to see it. I also confess that I feel saturated, overwhelmed, by many things. Regarding my boss, I feel that I'm somehow repulsive in every sense, that I make him feel that being with me is impossible, that I'm not good for him, that I don't like him, and that I don't tell him to his face, something to which he gives in, clumsily, he gives in, he has to, and that's his worst weakness. He defends himself with my friend, but not with me.

I feel like I'm writing down everything I'm managing to highlight that I think, that it's above what I feel, that it's like a kind of crust on my head, and that it makes me need new adventures, to be open. Those guys sound like an option, but I'm not convinced. I feel like the office is boring now; it's the same old thing. Well, it's only because of my friend that things are different. I feel like my friend isn't there; everything is boring, to be honest. Everything is so monotonous, so the same, so... I feel like I need her, I feel like I want her in my life, that my life isn't the same without her, that going back to how things were is boring, that being without her makes nothing feel alive anymore. With her, there was excitement, coordination, danger. I feel like what I've been doing for a while now is writing to get used to the time difference, but it feels radical. Wow, my boss is a total failure, I don't want him in my life and nobody does, he's unbearable, a person who lives by believing that because you know him, you're already tied to him, and it's a nuisance, the guy even thinks he's like a father to you and that's not the case, when the tragedies happened in my country I didn't even ask about him.

My boss is the kind of guy I don't want in my life, never will, and will never appreciate. In fact, I recently proved to him that all his efforts to "save" me had failed. I went on vacation without him even saying goodbye. There wasn't the slightest bit of empathy; everything between us had been destroyed, completely ruined. There's nothing left between us, and the worst part is that everyone supports him. He can't just get rid of me; he has to live with me and tolerate me. In short, it's the ultimate demoralization for any boss: when things don't go his way, when his interests aren't served. In fact, he's literally lost everything in our community. Nobody cares about him anymore; nobody's going to stand up for him. Everything he could do fell to pieces, and in the most humiliating way possible: by meddling in a relationship that wasn't his. Driven by his insecurities, he got involved in something that wasn't him, something he tried to destroy at all costs, all in an effort to protect himself from problems. This showed that his focus wasn't just on work, because there were things there too, but also on his social life. I did everything I could to ensure that his macho, dictatorial, and self-serving style became the cause of his own downfall, and to this day, it serves him no purpose whatsoever. He's an absolute failure in life. He has no image, no popularity, he doesn't even have a job; the one he has now is completely fictitious. He's ended up in my shoes, where I didn't know what to hold onto, just like he pretended to be with me and then tried to intervene by any means necessary, taking advantage of my disorientation to get rid of me. In other words, he wasn't interested in my life, even though he had promised that I would be his secretary. However, now I'm not interested in his either, I don't care, and I'm not going to do anything to save him from the consequences of others. Unlike him, my image doesn't depend on his, and I tried to prove otherwise.

Those shifts in rhetoric, those games of meddling in my affairs, that tendency to have a foothold in my own business at the expense of my own safety, is precisely what led to this downfall. I thought I was the one with the least defense because I wasn't clearly protected, but it was precisely in that imposition that the weaknesses were exposed, and where I could move about freely, because he also had no legal recourse, but I did. In principle, coexistence is a matter of duty and depends on each individual, not on a specific action. This guy thrives on marginalization and elitism, but that has changed. He doesn't know what he's doing, where he's going, or the price of his decisions; he's simply creating chaos in his environment, radically turning against himself, causing my friend, who was there before, to assume her role in a well-defined and thoughtful way. I retain my role, but now it's with her, not with my boss. Ironically, the fact that there is nothing defined for me doesn't mean he has to defend me more than give orders, but in that spirit there is nothing more than support for work in my boss and only for work, that is, for what makes him make products and only that.

how to not be sensitive? so i've just started my first job and it's been quite overwhelming to say the least. i find myself getting overly emotional whenever someone comments on my performance, and the inevitable critique comes in about my reports or presentations and it's like i'm being sliced open with a scalpel, very precise yet very painful. perhaps it's an indication of my inadequate coping mechanisms; nonetheless, i've endeavored to comprehend why precisely i'm letting this get under my skin to such an extent. it is said, in various management tomes that one should cultivate a resilience to workplace feedback, akin to developing a callous against friction but if only implementing this was as elementary as acknowledging its necessity.

feedback loops are integral to refining one's skills within any occupation but when 'constructive criticism' feels more like a personal affront than a professional recommendation, it's somewhat challenging to adjust one's perception accordingly. theoretically understanding that feedback is indispensable for professional growth does not necessarily equate to emotionally withstanding the impact of such evaluations which evidently strike at the very core of one's professional identity. research suggests adapting an analytical rather than an emotional response might facilitate improved outcomes yet there's an innate human tendency towards defensiveness when confronted with perceived imperfections. disseminating extensive articles from psychological publications on adaptive feedback reception hasn't ameliorated my response thus far; conversely, it seems convoluted jargon provides scant solace when facing real-time assessments.

moreover there's this juxtaposition within corporate culture promoting openness while inadvertently encouraging competition among colleagues creating paradoxical expectations that foster sensitivity rather than resolve it: whether through unspoken hierarchies or explicit directives urging you onwards toward unattainable excellence benchmarks that shift like the sands of time seemingly beyond grasping unless you're some prodigious wunderkind destined for leadership roles beyond the mortal realm. i'm cognizant that possessing delicate sensibilities isn't beneficial nor sustainable long-term yet determining effective strategies remains elusive much akin to chasing shadows - forever present yet perpetually elusive.

Frankly, I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics, people trying to impose their way of being on others, and whose coexistence is based on what others can do to each other, resorting to something more than just a survival instinct, which they themselves understand and, in fact, disregard, even suggesting that others do things their way, all in the name of exerting that same power. Good heavens, where is this? This isn't an office, not in a million years. It's a wretched, bloody jungle, because everyone is seeking dominance at any cost. They go beyond the limits they want, at the expense of doing nothing, justifying it under the guise of the collective. It's truly a horrifying thing, and that's why I was so concerned with eliminating it from the premises, with making that system disappear completely, immediately, drastically, leaving no trace. At least that's how it is with me. In no way should it be known that I have no support for that way of life. Instead, I will be focused on rejecting it definitively until it's clear that this way of life is not for me. They, in turn, interpret this as a sign that fate is on my side, because I know how to navigate their impositions, even in the midst of crises. I was never going to let them lay a hand on me, nor make them feel that I was one of them, in their way, outside the rules. I was going to abide by them and uphold them, even if that was all it took, and personally, I wasn't going to make it public, not in any way. I was simply going to act as I saw fit, since they don't understand the rules, they don't live by them, so I have nothing to discuss with them, absolutely nothing. I'm not going to waste my breath, from every point of view, on misguided, downtrodden people.

I feel completely disappointed that I entered this place, where I can't have a remotely normal, decent, human friendship, but instead I have to put up with my friend going her own way and me going mine, at the expense of a comfort I don't know where she got it from, where she prefers a stranger who doesn't know if he follows the law, to someone who actually pays attention to it. What on earth is this girl running from? I don't understand it personally, and I don't have to, nor should the authorities defend it. Simply trying to avoid causing a disturbance—a permit, protected by law, that I'm entitled to exercise—and being told no because it's disruptive—I mean, the exercise of the law is disruptive within the grounds, and even outside their jurisdiction—living at the expense of imposing normality, going beyond the confines of the grounds—that's something I couldn't allow, and believe me, I was harassed for it no matter what. What a hell, what a girl who emerged from these walls and doesn't uphold the spirit of the law. From every point of view, what kind of pigsty am I in? What kind of place is this? What kind of place is this that's accustomed to using anything to destroy others and do it according to the rules? I'm not here to do what they want, not at all. My sense of responsibility is barely challenged by such petty squabbles. What do these people want? To create a criminal? To make me someone with a gun who starts shooting indiscriminately? That's not my idea. Now, understand those rigid, profile-based schemes and that business of "repairing" the individual, all in the name of achieving their peace. What a shameful environment. How can I be a part of this? How can I allow myself to be a part of this? In a place where social control is desperately sought in one way or another.

I'm fed up, and I can't take it anymore. I have to leave this place. I feel I must. This place is not suitable for decent people, for good people, but for invasive people who try to ensnare you, where the only goal is to hide the flaws of someone who fosters criminals in the embrace of a tyrannical incongruity. What am I doing with these people? There's nothing more shameful than seeing people trying to trap me, to put me between a rock and a hard place, to force me to help them at work, at their expense, putting me between someone who betrays the group, playing the victim, pretending I don't like them, when I'm not there to like anyone, but to do my job and maintain a positive work environment. One thing doesn't imply the other. This was the excuse my friend used; she was social, but then she wasn't, of course. That excuse served her to be social in an imposing way, well, with others, really; it never happened with me. Seeing this guy, trained to weave emotional tangles, my boss specifically, made me realize that he didn't know anything about management, contrary to what he led me to believe. It was already strange that he wrote on shop windows rather than a whiteboard, to begin with.

There were many things my boss did that I didn't see clearly, that I didn't notice. Those abusive comments, those overbearing ones, letting me into his office just like that—all in an effort to camouflage his authority, to diminish it, doesn't reflect well on any boss. It hurts that my friend has blocked me; I can't talk to her, can't say anything to her. Besides, I wouldn't know what to say, not at all. I'd desperately try to fill the void, and that's not the point. The point isn't to ruin things. We're in an environment where being friends is dangerous, where sharing things can compromise us both because we're disruptive, because we won't know how to stand up for ourselves, because we'll try to show that we're not on our own, each of us doing our own thing. Such extreme caution we have to exercise—what a shame. They don't even respect birthdays; they don't consider whether or not to celebrate them. Their way of life in that office is one of disrespect for diversity, and they resort to normalization whenever they can. You have to protect yourself however you can; it's every man for himself. And you have to live with the consequences, especially when it affects the bureaucracy. The problem lies there: not everyone can adapt, and they try to undermine those who do, putting up barriers. What kind of savages are these? There are no protocols to rely on, nothing to complain about, nothing to take refuge on except the effects of forced coexistence, effects that should never be shown. They're not right in the head, not at all. It took me a long time to realize this. They'll hide behind anything to achieve dominance, anything at all. They don't respect boundaries; they don't know about them. It's impossible for them to conceive of such a thing.

They're monsters, for God's sake, they don't know what they're doing, they live at the mercy of prejudice. Personally, I want to run away from that office; I don't want anything more to do with them. I don't know why I have a friend who has blocked me, for God's sake. What kind of friendship is that? What kind of person am I with who treats me without even making a simple effort to do things right? Well, actually, if she does, she does it well; she makes a lot of effort, she knows how to move forward on autopilot, and she always tries to make sure I have a place in her life. I don't know what else I could expect from a relationship in that kind of environment, really. It seems more logical that a friendship would develop under conditions where, by no means, for God's sake, would it be anything like what you'd find in school. What's happening is sensible, perfectly logical, and pleasing. I can't deny the facts, I just can't. How annoying! Why did I never have normal friendships? Friends who respected me and gave me that hug. Why did I get stuck with a boss who was trying to curry favor with anyone in his path? Why did I have to deal with relationships like these? Why did I get stuck in an office like this? I should be in a much better place, with organization and equally organized, pleasant relationships, where there was a supportive collective, yet I ended up in the worst possible place. It's disgusting.

I don't feel comfortable, but at least the office has shown what it means to be a professional: someone who values ​​themselves, who is judicious, who embraces their work, and who doesn't use their position as an excuse to do things. That chaotic office environment was shattered because it was completely dysfunctional and bitter, because its attempts at maintaining order didn't produce any positive results. My insistence on fostering a positive work environment has paid off, and I'm happy about that. I don't know if any of them will realize what I did, what my example was, but the important thing is to have a safe place to be. I think I deserve it, I think everyone deserves it. My friend, with her social awkwardness, deserves it too. She has the right to be who she is, within the social implications, of course, but they shouldn't go so far as to fire her for it, because of prejudice, because of fear, because of the difficulties it might cause, which are meant to be resolved systematically. But I think that's what those authorities don't understand. What happened in the office was no small matter, and that's why I've dedicated so much time to writing about it, to assess what I did, to see what it consisted of, and whether it's possible to implement it more broadly, more effectively. And I believe I've achieved that: becoming an effective citizen, a citizen capable of living with diversity, of setting boundaries in accordance with the wishes of others, the people. While the law may not explicitly protect this, the idea is to provide what is needed. Doing so isn't some kind of Wild West gunslinger or anything like that, not at all. Rather, the law exists for coexistence, and my people certainly have the capacity for it based on the law, which is extremely rich, complex, and adaptable. But precisely because of that spirit, it's often difficult to apply because it requires an embrace for which the people aren't prepared, due to the subtle details they have to accept, details that aren't something they're used to.

I wasn't interested in saying anything, in any way, but rather that everything be seen through practice. Words are just words, it's practice that can include words and, at the same time, not, as well as confront the doubts of practice through practice itself. Because, let's be honest: understanding an action the first time is a matter of luck, for God's sake, but I don't think my boss understands a single word of what I say, and I don't expect him to ever do so. For him, it's about taking precautions, looking ahead, when it comes to taking risks carefully, by any means necessary, assuming the consequences, of course, doing something about them, allowing them to unfold within limits. However, I insist, my boss believes that reality must be one and only one, in order to be able to describe it, in order to establish that we are dealing with a pleasant situation and that he doesn't speak ill of him, that he doesn't denigrate his image, that he doesn't contribute to denigrating it with his words, because it is from his incapacity that... In the case of all of us who perform actions, speak, in order to sustain ourselves in the world, striving to do something with it that is accepted, that course of action in our lives, the risk, is something discarded because it wasn't prevented, immediate peace wasn't achieved, and that it's an impossibility, a contradiction, a matter of that spirit.

I feel completely disappointed in the highest authorities regarding the selection of my boss as coordinator of two departments, knowing beforehand, and it's been known for some time, that the individual becomes a disaster with bureaucracy, he shatters it, destroys it, he wants to be in it but it rejects him, because he lives by using it in his own way, so that he looks good, because procedural matters are a matter of suspicion, that something is going on, of course, in the bureaucracy that's how it's perceived, and he doesn't allow the construction of evidence, he doesn't want to allow people to be enriched by doubts, but rather lives by remaining silent at all costs. This is the clearest profile of a dictator, one who silences dissent by any means necessary, in order to keep others where he wants them, instead of allowing the progress of daily life, of seeking ways to express oneself and share one's life, to embrace one's place in society. However, this individual has lived only to be irresponsible. I don't know why these authorities chose such a person; it seems there was something else that led to his appointment, which I find utterly disappointing. It demonstrates that this arbitrary selection process is not being conducted judiciously, and it shows that the organization is not prioritizing professionalism, but rather a sad and blatant self-interest, making me question everything they do.

What deep regret I feel, what pain. The authorities are voiceless, because their whole lives they've been supporting this guy, tolerating him at all costs, letting him evade responsibility for his actions, doing nothing. Where were these authorities in the beginning? What were they thinking? What were they thinking that they didn't see where things were headed? They claim they're always watching out for everyone, but there are those who aren't watching and let him do whatever he wants, and since this is my boss, it makes you think that's what happens when you just let him be whatever he wants and expect everyone else to put up with it, just like that. This is an outrage. I've said this before, and I'll say it again now—not in what I've written so far, of course—my boss destroyed the trust we employees had in the authorities. He shattered it. He showed that they're only there to run away from what's happening down below. It was emphasized, stressed, that if the head of my friend's group had to resolve things, she should do so at all costs, because otherwise, her intervention would only be to escape responsibility, to shift blame, just like what happened at that party where they framed my boss. They made him look like he was trying to run away from everything, like some pathetic, miserable politician, turning everyone else against him. The authorities have certainly paid a heavy price for him, they've endured a lot, but that wasn't going to continue. Now, they're no longer allies, they're enemies. My boss has made even more enemies among those authorities, in addition to those in the community. While he still has the support of the highest authority in the community, that's something that can't be ignored. If the company's authority has resigned itself to this, it's reached its limit. Indeed, the situation has reached its breaking point; the rumors have been proven true.

The mere fact that my relationship with my friend was successful, and that he so blatantly obstructed it, despite the evidence being everywhere, shows that he's acting on his own, that he's a manipulator, that he wants everyone on his side to do whatever he wants. Those who rebel against him are simply accused and marginalized to avoid exposing his own terrible work. The guy at that party didn't know what he was doing there; he was just looking for a pathetic escape after already being questioned by everyone else. The company's top management, not the community's, acted in a clearly unprofessional manner, abandoning any methodical approach. Their actions were entirely at the mercy of others, without any ability to connect with them. They are the antithesis of any leader, the black sheep among the authorities. Fortunately, my friend's group accepted me because I always supported them. I never sought to oppose them; on the contrary, I personally witnessed their belittling and refused to be a part of it. They saw that I was different, clearly acting with respect and humility, making no demands beyond what was required. I acted on my own initiative, demonstrating loyalty to the group, protecting them, and without any bureaucratic obligations.

I don't know what I ended up in. I came here to work in an office, and that's the last thing I want to be in, first of all, because words mean absolutely nothing and everything is done according to the group's interests. I have absolutely no desire to be in that office, and I've tried every possible way to stay safe in that jungle—because I can't really call it an office. I feel utterly ashamed that I allowed myself to go there, but perhaps other places are more dangerous because the unions aren't as entrenched, there isn't the same protection elsewhere, and that's what my father intends. I see that he wants to put me in other places where he knows very well that my spirit won't be valued, thus ensuring that any waste is my doing and that I'm at his mercy, definitively, that there's no arbitrariness, that I'm at the mercy of his services and his regulations, seeking to control me. The man wants to eliminate my freedom at all costs because, as I am now, I'm slipping through his fingers. I hadn't realized that; every day his instruments for taming me become more malicious. I don't know what happened to my friend from the office, I don't know where she is, and I'm afraid of being without her there. With her, I felt safe because I feel she can protect me from my boss and the others, unlike the higher authorities, who can only be present to a certain extent. Her group can also protect me, thanks to the support I've given them, but I'm looking for ways to extend that protection beyond my boss's constant intrusion, his self-serving attitude, and the complete neglect he wants to subject me to. If I say anything, it will only cause me more problems, and I didn't want that. I had to open myself up to other means of protection within the office. My father doesn't understand a single word I'm saying; at least he grasps that my degree was useless. It's a disaster at the office. I even used my personal belongings to fool my boss into thinking I was on his side, when it was really just a smokescreen to get rid of him once and for all and let my friend take over the office. She managed to break up a group she'd been dominating for a long time, giving her a place within their group, a level of appreciation that the others couldn't outright reject; they had to submit and look for ways to escape. My friend feels like the queen of the place, just for managing someone without actually doing anything, and she keeps me around by not shattering that illusion. She keeps things the same, not giving much beyond the bare minimum, but her affection is unwavering, making our moments unique and incomparable. In the middle of the office, she's definitely become a substitute for all my other friendships, especially since she doesn't do that with just anyone. I feel trapped, in the clutches of my friend and her group, but it's the best I can do for now. I had to hand over my boss and be loyal to my friend at all costs, despite appearances. My safety came first, and I wasn't going to trust my boss's ability to provide it, since that wasn't his job. He was doing something based on a future promise that he wasn't even sure would be kept. With him, I felt like a pathetic object, a piece of equipment, or whatever—something he doesn't care about and trusts.

The guy abused my trust however he wanted; he didn't care. All he cares about is having the path, the route, to slide down wherever he wants. The guy was a monster, and for a long time now, he's been provoking me to write vulgarities, obscenities, insults, and other things. In that group, my boss's group, I couldn't communicate with an AI for emotional support; it terrified them. In fact, they humiliated him, creating instability in any way they could, making a scene. It was a group that simply operated from the premise that I didn't feel supported in my own life, but rather that they themselves, the directors, were the support. That's how they saw me; they saw me as someone to fulfill their ideals, desperately. I had never seen anything like it, and I never thought I would. It was monstrous. It was a group that wanted me subservient. Luckily, in the new group I'm in now, there's a bit more respect for me, my space, my life. They allow me to be the way I want, of course, also considering their needs, which is what has earned me a place. Treating my friend is something they find phenomenal, because none of them manage to treat her, and at the same time there is that commitment to her, and someone like that is needed in the group, who can give her some space, some companionship, so that she doesn't look alone; it was an issue they had pending.

My friend's group was in a really tough spot. That girl was literally on her own, and it certainly wasn't her intention. She didn't know what she was doing; she was erratic, trying to get ahead. I've heard that these groups—because it's a group of women—look for some kind of solution for that person, anything, as long as she doesn't fall behind. It's not pleasant to see one of them have her life ruined, especially when it's not her intention, especially when she's out of place, especially when it's a woman. Good heavens, unlike men, at least in the culture I'm in, that kind of thing isn't in the nature of women, because of their understanding. They accept me in that group with her because there's someone who's with her at all times, even though I'm not obligated to be there for any reason. They consider it a gift, a kind of present.

Despite everything, it's not something that's fully appreciated, at least not openly. The gift, the present in return, is that there's no complaint, and the deal is allowed to continue, to proceed. In fact, there's a different kind of treatment from my friend's group. I feel so bad for her; I didn't want her to go to hell, especially in an environment that was clearly going to take advantage of her sooner or later, and I couldn't allow that. My boss is that kind of person, and it had to be made clear to him, he had to be the one to make it clear, that those kinds of attitudes, under no circumstances, can be allowed, can happen, can occur, because otherwise there will be consequences, otherwise life is ruined, just like what happened to that guy. The idea that there won't be any surprises and that one is above the culture is a thing of the past, that's broken. The office hasn't yet transcended the entire world, and that's impossible, but they lived off that omnipotence they tried to salvage at all costs. But I don't believe that the people should live on lies, not at all. My boss has gone completely mad, insane, I mean, I don't feel like I can write very coherently right now. It's just that the AI ​​service is back up and running, which used to give me a certain degree of control, but now it doesn't, and I feel like I'm back to my old self, able to resort to chat whenever I want, for whatever reason, but there's this feeling that the whole thing might not survive at all, not in any way.

During that period with the AI ​​like this, broken, not giving me what I wanted, I tried to write and write and reached a point where I felt completely overwhelmed. Luckily, we're not officially working in the office anymore, although things are still pretty chaotic there. Good heavens, what a life with those people! I feel like I've learned to be a gorilla, clearly, having to outsmart even the best con artists just to be able to feel safe in that community. I feel respect and admiration from everyone, and that makes me very happy. I feel included and not left out, not allowed to be dragged into my boss's schemes, and that makes me feel safe. With my friend's group, plus the support of the surroundings, plus the secretary who also left, my boss has no power.