Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

I have a skin picking disorder where I generally tend to pick on my lips often till they’re bloody and raw. It’s an habit I have since I can remember. It must’ve started when I was around two to three years old. I am now 17. With that it’s deeply ingrained within me and I am quite used to it. I often do it when I am bored, sitting still, stressed, need to concentrate or nervous. I have ADHD and with that it’s often also a way to stimulate myself, especially during school. I try to break the habit but it’s quite difficult with me either not noticing it when I do or the compulsion to do it being too strong.

Well now to what happened. On the weekend I was on a trip with my father. Apparently in the evening when we came back my lips looked pretty bloody and my mother asked why I picked on them so much again. I told her it’s mostly because I was bored in the car. It was because of that and I also studied, meaning I didn’t really noticed it while I was concentrating on my work. My father now told me that my mother gave him on Monday an entire speech about how it’s bad and that it was during the trip I was with him on. But generally it isn’t his fault. I know it’s mine. It’s my habit. It’s also a daily habit meaning he didn’t make me fall back into it or anything. He now asked me to try and stop but the problem is it isn’t that easy for me. I do want to but it’s difficult. I am not sure what do. I am also not sure whether I should ask my mother about why she decided to complain to my father about it when he didn’t actually have to do anything with it.

So life has been going pretty well actually. I've been getting my grades up so I'll be able to graduate real soon, finally booking an appointment with a doctor so I can talk about therapy and hrt trans stuff. Already getting my glasses soon and I'll definitely look cool with them. I've been making jokes and my sister and mom laugh at them again, idk why I'm good at jokes again, nothing really changed except for like just doing more positive affirmations and manifestation stuff. I'm glad that part of me is back tho.

Ngl I need to change my hair but my sister wants me to wait it out, I've just been wearing a bandana thing which looks cool but like it's hot asf outside. I still haven't tried to make friends or a boyfriend, it's easy to do online but like idk, maybe I'm lazy. I low-key wouldn't mind going to appointments on my own, my mom kinda let me and I was fine, but I felt...idk like overdressed, didn't feel like an npc. The doctors didn't really speak too much directly too me or seem to take me too seriously, I think it's because I look childish and still have a kid voice, my mom points it out and also my style. It's nothing wild, I like alternative baggy clothes and I still like them. I wished I sounded more mature, I've been trying pronounce things differently or change my voice, making it deeper... doesn't really help. The reason I got insecure about my voice is because I recorded for a school project and I sounded nerdy or like something was wrong with me like I have some kind of vocal problem. I told my sister about it and she was like "you don't need to change it, you just need to accept it for the rest of your life" she's low-key wise.

I do wonder if I should take hrt, that would make me love life but my parents are homophobic and transphobic so like I'm scared. Idk when or how to come out, my plan was just to transition and then come home but...that seems like a bad idea as my parents are very much in my life so I feel like we would need to address the elephant in the room. I'm going from girl to guy so it would be noticable. If I have the opportunity to take hrt, should I?

My parents would have a bit of a crazy reaction but idk how crazy. My mom would just think it's because of trauma and be sweet or try to change me but my dad? That's some scary stuff, he's like low-key crazy, anger issues, hulk smashing everything, and would be very angry. When a queer family member lived here, he referred to her as the devil in his house. I'm lowkey already getting that tho because I said I have different beliefs plus being into rock/metal music and horror games so I have dark posters and stuff that he thinks is demonic. My room is pretty colorful tho.

Any advice is appreciated and I really hope you have a good day 🖤🩷 always be gentle to yourself, what's the point in hating yourself during the journey if you're going to the same destination regardless. <3

So basically my mom tells literally every single person in my family (literally all) everything about me as ones mom does.

It always bothered me especially when it's someone private that I trusted to tell her and only her

Right now I am applying to different colleges and I told her (begged her) not to tell anyone about what I am applying to or whatever because the whole family pesters me about it and they get their hopes up really high and I am scared of disappointing them.

The first time I applied to a college she told everyone so I talked with her and explained why I didn't want her telling anybody and she apologized and said she wouldn't do it again.

This cycle happened about 3 times again until I finally broke down and started crying and telling to please not tell anyone and that it stresses me out, that time when I cried she ignored it like nothing even happened and it made me more upset but I kept it to myself.

Fast forward to now she did it again, I got really mad and upset I didn't say anything and just went to the bathroom to cry and collect myself.

now SHE is upset with me saying that the way I acted was disrespectful and dad took her side.

I feel so upset rn and have no one to talk to about this.

I really love my mom but this has always been an issue between us as I am a very private person and when she does this it makes me lose trust in her.

I don't know why her telling people about me upsets me SO MUCH but it does and I just wish she respected that

I'll try and make it up to her later because I can't sleep if she's upset with me

Sorry if this didn't make much sense English isn't my first language :/

So, I've been doing a lot of introspection lately and have come to question what my current relationship situation is all about. I mean, am I really in a polyamorous relationship, or is it just some sort of undefined connection, morphing into something I can't quite put my finger on?! There’s this sense of freedom I had anticipated when I first thought about it, dealing with multiple partners who all know about each other, yet I often find myself puzzled about how to manage everything without letting my emotions get the best of me. Ironically, the relationship dynamics are supposed to offer choices without the need for secretive affairs or guilt-coated whispers typical in monogamy, right?! Yet here I am, floundering a bit in understanding whether everyone involved shares the same understanding of what it means to navigate such a bond. It sometimes becomes a question of emotional regulation... how do I balance attention and affection for multiple partners harmoniously while setting boundaries and ensuring everyone feels secure and acknowledged?

And honestly, adding the layer of being pansexual makes things no less intricate!!! Does that mean having a wider array of attractions complicates things or makes them more enlightening? In trying to embrace the freedom to love beyond traditional societal constraints, I still find myself questioning if I'm capable of managing the emotional complexity that comes with these labels. I’ve always prided myself on being open-minded when it comes to love!... allowing feelings to develop naturally. However, I can’t help but feel a bit like a juggler who's unsure how many pins they can keep in the air before chaos ensues!!! Has anyone else experienced this duality of yearning for a connection that accepts love in its diverse forms, yet grappling with the reality of how to sustainably nurture each one without falling into a tangled web of miscommunication or unintentional negligence? Maybe it is about transparent communication, trust, and mutual respect, but what if all parties speak different love languages?! Regardless, I’m on a quest to figure this puzzle out... one interaction, one emotion, one day at a time.

So yes ive been falling in the rabbit hole and I’ve come to realize that there’s a lot more there than that meets the eye. For example let’s just take a simple theory like the P. Diddy situation how they found tunnels to Michael Jackson’s house tunnels to TI‘s house tunnels to God knows where all these underground tunnels then they found cages and all this Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton having so many connections to you know, orphanages, and children that have been taken from their families that haven’t been fed well refugees and then you see orders of like 60,000 pizzas ordered to the White House from Obama through email messages that were leaked and you know how Pizza is like the pedophiles sign for boys or I don’t know if it’s a pedophiles sign for girls but I know like there’s signs and stuff then there’s that whole Pizza gate thing and stuff like that there’s pizza gate and they tortured these kids for adrenichrome and all of that I wanna hear you guys theories about all of this like is this like really something we’re living in like REPTILIANS? They’re talking about these ancient reptile aliens that have been among us for eons and then you get these tablets that come out the admiral tablets like they’re normalizing all of this so that if out of nowhere, these things were to just show up it would be normalized like it’s weird what’s going on and it’s kind of scary like all of this stuff has to add up to something you know and I don’t want. I know this sounds crazy. I don’t want any of you guys to think I’m crazy like this is just you know midnight thought but like is there anyone else on here that can like? Tell me like what the fuck they’re thinking about all this

celebrities wearing masks like I was watching some 80s 70s 90s movies like some of these actresses are not aging and I don’t know if they’re cloning them but there’s something going on y’all and I want to hear what you guys have to say

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I never thought I’d end up here, but here I am, dreading every single morning when my alarm goes off. I hate my job. There, I said it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just a phase, that everyone feels like this sometimes, but it’s been almost a year, and nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

The work itself isn’t even that bad. I mean, it’s not what I’m passionate about, but it’s tolerable. The real problem is the people. My boss is one of those micro-managers who has to be involved in every tiny detail. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’ll spend hours on a project, only for them to nitpick and make me redo the whole thing for no real reason. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like all my effort is pointless.

Then there’s the office culture—or lack of it. Nobody talks to each other unless it’s about work. Lunch breaks feel like detention, with everyone silently eating at their desks or scrolling through their phones. I tried to make friends when I first started, but everyone already seemed to have their little cliques. After a while, I just gave up.

What really gets to me, though, is the constant pressure. It’s like they expect us to give 110% all the time, but they don’t give anything back. Overtime is practically mandatory, but don’t expect a “thank you” or even acknowledgment for staying late. And forget about a raise or promotion—that’s a pipe dream. It’s hard not to feel bitter when you’re working so hard and getting nothing in return.

I keep telling myself I should just quit, but it’s not that simple. I’ve got bills to pay, and the job market isn’t exactly booming right now. Plus, there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps asking, “What if the next job is just as bad—or worse?” It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where I hate my job, but I’m too scared to leave.

Even at home, I can’t seem to escape it. I’m constantly checking emails or stressing about the next deadline. It’s like my job has taken over my entire life, and I don’t know how to take it back. My family keeps telling me to just hang in there, but they don’t understand how draining it is. By the end of the day, I’m too tired to even think about applying for other jobs, let alone pursuing something I actually enjoy.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. Or maybe I’m being ungrateful because at least I have a job. But then I think about how miserable I am, and I can’t help but feel like there has to be more to life than this. Doesn’t there?

If anyone else feels this way, I’d love to know how you’re coping—or if you’ve managed to get out, how did you do it? Right now, I just feel stuck, and honestly, it’s hard to see a way forward. All I know is, I can’t keep living like this. Something’s gotta give.