Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

I've had multiple close friends before. and we always break up because of me somehow.

here was one time me and two of my close friends were studying. one of them said she dreamt of me dancing, naked. I thought it was hilarious. but when we went to class the next day, mind you, I'm only close to those two I heard everybody laughing at the back and I heard someone laugh out loud talking about my naked body. at that time I was sitting alone to study the other two talking with others. literally the whole class was talking about my naked body I was offended I didn't want to talk to them anymore and blablabla. but they say that im heartless because they cried and said sorry but I won't forgive them

the next one I had another close friend. she accused me of ruining her project then said something that was totally out of her character that really hurt me because she would never say anything like that before. I had this one art book of mine she's also a talented artist so she likes to paint my drawing because she mostly does digital. I would lend her the book so she could color it. I NEVER once asked her myself to paint it but I let her since she wanted to. but then when we fought she ripped all of my drawing which I spent hours on because she said I she colored them so she has a right to take it without compromising with me first. then I cried because all of my hard work was gone just like that. she said I don't deserve to cry and that she's the one who's supposed to be crying

then another one, I started talking to her because she looked lonely then we became close obviously I would share my personal stuff with her but then she told people that I was after her money. the thing is she's never even bought me anything. and I'm the type of person that never asks anyone to pay for me infact I would pay for them. and she's not even that rich.

so is it really my fault, like maybe I'm misunderstanding things or like maybe I'm too sensitive? because everyone seems to think that I'm in the wrong.. there's more actually but I'm not gonna write all my experience am I haha😅

so I've been married for almost 10 years now, and it's been an awesome journey with my wife; she's my rock, my partner, the mother of my kids. but here's the thing...and pardon my frankness...sexually, she's just not as interested as me. and for me, it's hard, man. real hard. I'm always down for it, but she's just not feeling it most of the time. it's not like there's something wrong with her or anything, people just have different drives. but yeah, it's a bit challenging to manage on my end.

there are days (more often than I'd like to admit) where the desire just takes over and it's like, what do I even do with all this? can't just turn it off, you know? and trust me, I don't want to pressure her into something she's not in the mood for; that's not cool at all, and I respect her wishes. so, I end up stuck with this overflowing energy and nowhere to put it. sure, there are other ways to handle it, but sometimes those don't even cut it. you'd think after almost a decade of being married, I'd have a handle on this by now, right? well, surprises keep coming.

it makes me wonder if there's a secret menu or cheat code to dial down one's desire when the other person isn't on the same page? like, where's the manual for this stuff??? we've tried talking about it, but it's still a work in progress. don't misinterpret, it's not always like this, sometimes we sync perfectly, and it's magic. but other times, it's a real head-scratcher. the thought crosses my mind: am I just overthinking it? or do I need a new strategy?

the bright side, though, is that we're constantly learning and evolving; relationships are dynamic, after all. maybe it's just about finding that sweet spot where we both feel happy and satisfied, in every sense of the word. i'm staying hopeful and keeping it positive. how do you guys handle similar situations? buffering desires and keeping the peace are all part of the package, huh? 😅 any tips or insights would be golden!

I had a big fight with my boyfriend that almost led to a breakup. We ended up talking it through and decided to get back together.

Since then, though, it has triggered my abandonment wound. I feel scared that he might leave again, and whenever we argue, my mind immediately goes into that fear. I start thinking he will leave me all over again.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m honestly afraid to talk about it because of that same abandonment fear. I worry that bringing it up might push him away or make him leave. I feel stuck and unsure how to sort this out.

I'll be travelling for the very first time for work in less than two weeks. I'm feeling excited but at the same time I know myself and deep down I'm kinda worried about eating food that I don't like at all or staying in a hotel room that's not cozy at all.

Maybe I need to just enjoy the trip and be really flexible with my style of life

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

So it all started a year ago when I met my ex-boyfriend online. We started going out after only a few days and became a long-distance couple. At first everything was going well, but at around 6 months into the relationship, he started talking to me about sex, which I wasn’t against, but it was kind of at the limit of what felt reasonable. Then things sped up until we were sending pictures and calling each other on video.

Later on I met some friends, but you should know my ex was very obsessed with me and manipulative and controlling. So I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted or have guy friends, and the friends I had met were a big group of guys. In that group there was one boy, pretty ordinary and nerdy, geeky, who didn’t stand out, and I fell in love with him.

So one night I decided to leave my ex by blocking him everywhere without any explanation, and that’s how I ended up single. With my friends we had so much fun, we were a big group, but we also had a smaller group of 4: two girls including me, and two boys including the boy I like. But he was a friend before anything else. We got closer, and I told my friends who the boy I liked was, but at the same time I got closer to that boy and realized it was better to have him as a friend and nothing more, because he was still another toxic guy who was better kept only as a friend.

Especially because he had gotten more popular since we became friends, and he liked another girl. He had even told me about it, but that girl is not good. Like I said, I had told my friends who I liked, and two of them wanted to help me. One of them sent a message to the boy saying the girl he liked was bad and that he knew a girl who liked him and was better.

Then that same evening I call this boy, who is my friend, and we talk normally. Then he tells me that this friend had talked to him, but what I didn’t know is that he had told him to join a call where he would say who the girl who liked him was.

After the call, I send a message to the two boys telling them I’m against the idea of telling him, and they defend themselves and then say they’re going to call him to convince him not to like the girl he likes. A bit later they send me a message saying he made a list of 4 girls he didn’t want to date, and I was in it. So then my two friends tell me they can tell him now because I have nothing left to lose. So they tell him, and his reaction is to say “ohh” in a disappointed way after finding that out, and then he said it would’ve been better if he hadn’t known.

Then the two boys admit to me that they knew from the start it would never work and that it was just entertainment. And then they added me to the group with the boy and called me again, again just for entertainment, and I didn’t join. So there you go, I’m mad at them, but at the same time they’re my friends. And I’d like to have a conversation with the boy because I want us to stay friends, but I haven’t talked to them anymore since then.

Oh and also, a little before that, I unblocked my ex because I felt bad, and also my two former best friends. But my ex wanted to get back together with me while I only wanted sex, and I’m tired of men. I feel like I want to be loved but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I want flirting, but I don’t want the guy to not be only mine. I like it when they’re obsessed, but at the same time it annoys me.

I don’t know how to find what I want and someone who agrees with it.

So yeah, if you read all the way to here, I’m grateful, and if you have any advice I’d be happy to hear it.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.