Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

A while back i was 9 year old and showering with my mom cause i was sick that day so she helped me. I told her to lock the door so nobody could come in. But then i heard some noice. i told my mom who was that didn't you lock the door? Then i saw my grandmother in. I panicked so i immediatly (or not i dont remember) screamed her to get out. But... she didnt! My grandmother always been like this. Like always joking about thing that arent good to joke about (she was joking about my insecurities like my eating disorder my not so good teeth cause i had a period where i was bedrotting cause of loneliness and all) she broke my boundaries many time and she also made comments about my chest!! (Which im not gonna tell here) i told my mom that i was uncomfortable with my grandmother but she brushed it off cause yknow it her mom i guess... so i ignore my grandmother ! Good thing right?... nah. she played the victim "why wont my grandchild love me" geez i wonder why. Anyway my mom force me sometime to kiss her at the morning but now almost my whole family say that it rude of me to ignore her and she cries because i dont love her? And sometime i think i am on the wrong- so yea..

Man, life has been a ride lately, and not the fun kind. So much was happening around me, swirling into chaos that I didn't know where to turn. I figured, who gives a crap? My so-called friends weren't even checking in. That's just how it is, right? People are flaky and self-absorbed. Then, out of the blue, folks I barely talk to started reaching out. Like... what? Some girl from my gym class and this dude from work were like genuinely asking how I was doing, if I needed anything! What alternate universe did I stumble into?!

I gotta admit, it threw me for a loop at first. Surprisingly though, it made me think twice about how we perceive others and these random connections we make all the time. Maybe everyone isn't as cold or uninterested as they seem on the surface? Yeah well maybe! Over dinner one night with some old pals (who finally remembered my number huh), I brought up how these guys had suddenly stepped up when things went south for me. They said people might surprise you if you give them half a chance...or whatever.

Usually I'd call BS straight away but there's something there right? Almost makes you believe that community exists beyond social media likes and retweets! These tiny acts of genuine care sparked some light inside me during those dark days and shifted gears in my messed-up headspace bigtime!!! Have you've ever found yourself at odds with reality because everything seems so fake till proven otherwise; it's like viewing life through filter glasses until someone cracks the lenses..

Sure enough now I'm rethinking interactions every day with an ounce more optimism...shocking! At least for now!! Instead of brushing off potential connections cause bad times made me bitter (yeah thx world), maybe opening up allows room for reciprocal energy without ulterior motives bleeding through unnoticed; Good vibes do travel beyond expected lines sometimes I guess...

So next time someone outside your clique reaches out sincerely consider engaging back instead dismissing outright cynically Or don't It's your life too afterall 💁‍♂️ But hey.. never say strangers can't become allies later making spontaneity strangely beautiful rather than insignificantly weird; Who knew showing gratitude felt invigorating amidst skepticism enveloping my mindset previously?! Just wow...

2024

(I will not post the identity of this person cause even thought i was hurt i still love them deeply and i know it was just an accident i need ur side of our story)

So i was bored cause i just wanted to play a game with my friend and most of my friends werent online. They were available so i asked them if they wanted to play and they gladly accepted.

I teached them some basics and most of the lore cause i knew a lot about the game.

A while passed and i was trying really hard to get something i wanted in the game. In december i finally got it during a run with them and i was SO happy.

Until they got basically everything too.

I was wondering how they were progressing so fast when i literally started playing before them.

And thats probably when i first started comparing myself to them.

The thing is, that game was a comfort game for me. It wasnt just some random game i played. I genuinely loved it and it was something i could go to when i wanted to have fun.

2025

During an event, we were both really happy about it so we played together.

Then they got something i had been trying to get in ONE NIGHT.

I was pissed.

But i just told myself i needed to train more.

Later while we were playing, they said something my jealousy would never forget:

"Looks like the student surpassed the master."

They probably didnt mean it as seriously as i took it, but it really got to me.

I was the one who teached them when they started, so hearing that made it feel even more like a competition.

Thats where my jealousy started getting worse.

A while later i found another game.

I really liked it. The story was cool, the characters were cool, everything.

It also became another comfort game for me.

Then my friend joined me, so i decided to teach them again.

But they got to a higher level than me while i was stuck at a lower level.

The funny thing is there was actually a reason for it. I was playing on hard mode and wasnt earning XP properly.

But at the time i didnt care.

All i could think was:

**"I started before them. I teached them. And theyre ahead of me again."**

My jealousy grew but my dumbass decided to bottle it up.

After that i found another game that i really enjoyed.

Again, it became a comfort game for me.

I decided to play it first so that when my friend joined, we could be around the same level.

But when i made them join, they were better than me.

I was devastated.

Like genuinely devastated.

Not just because they were better.

It was because this was another comfort game.

Something that was supposed to be fun and relaxing suddenly felt like another competition.

It felt like i couldnt even have a comfort game without eventually comparing myself to them.

2026

Then i found another game.

I tried it but decided id come back to it later.

BUT I WAS TOO LATE.

My friend found it after me and it became one of their main interests.

I was devstated again.

Every time they made a reference to it, my jealousy grew.

Eventually i became really defensive and honestly kinda toxic about their interests.

Id say things like:"Youre still playing this stupid game?"

And stuff like that.

Looking back, that wasnt fair and i was very rude about the only thing they enjoy they werent doing anything wrong by enjoying something.

I didnt actually hate the game.

I hated what i had started associating with it.

Eventually they asked why i was being so mean about their interests.

So i finally told them the whole story.

I explained everything about my jealousy and how it had been building up over time.

Then i took a break.

I thought my jealousy would calm down if i just stopped talking to them for a while.

It didnt.

Eventually we started talking again.

Around that time they were having some problems in their relationship, and they became really dry.

That annoyed me because im the type of person who checks what i said right after i send it and thinks about how it sounded.

Im also really sensitive.

Theyre naturally a very blunt and direct person. Theyre not really the type to lie just because the truth would hurt someone.

If something is true, theyll say it.

I dont think thats necessarily a bad thing, but for someone as sensitive as me, sometimes it could really hurt.

I had told them multiple times that i was sensitive, so sometimes the way they said things got to me.

My emotions kept building up anyway.

And once again, i bottled everything up until i lashed out.

So i took another break.

Later they texted me asking why it had taken me a month to reply.

We argued and i realized i had actually told them id be back in two or three weeks, not two or three months (my fault).

And honestly, i needed comfort at the time, so i decided to talk to them again.

BAD IDEA AGAIN 🥹

I wasnt healed yet.

All the jealousy was still there.

One night i was choosing a game to play.

They told me:"You have to realize we have different gameplay."

That already kinda hurt me because i was still extremely sensitive about comparing myself to them.

Then we played this really simple game where an NPC was chasing us around.

I was actually doing pretty well.

I was joking about raging even though i wasnt actually angry and was just having fun.

Then they said:

"Why are you losing? Its just a simple game."

That hurt me again.

So i told them:

"Not everyone is a pro."

And somehow we started arguing.

IN A FREAKING GAME-

After that we talked through TikTok and i explained the whole story to them again.

They said: "Well its not my fault im good."

And:"You should play more. Im naturally good at it."

I know theyre not responsible for being good at games.

But because of everything that had already happened, those words hit me really hard.

I broke down and took another break.

The biggest thing is that ALL of these games were comfort games for me.

They werent just random games i played.

They were things i genuinely enjoyed.

I could play them when i was bored, when i wanted to relax, when i wanted to get invested in a story, or when i just wanted to have fun.

But one by one, they started becoming associated with the same feeling.

Competition.

Comparison.

Jealousy.

So id play one of those games and immediately think:

"They used to play this."

And then id remember everything that happened.

Eventually i couldnt enjoy them the same way anymore.

Sometimes i even felt disgusted playing them even though i still liked them.

It felt like i was losing my comfort games.

Looking back, i think it became this cycle:

And then it happens again.

I also realized that i became way too dependent on this friendship.

When something went wrong between us, it didnt just affect the friendship.

It affected my hobbies.

My comfort games.

My mood.

Basically everything.

Thats why im trying to make new friends now.

Not because i want to replace them.

Not because i hate them.

And definitely not because i want people to bully them.

Im keeping them anonymous because i dont want this story to cause them problems.

I still care about them deeply.

And honestly i never meant to hurt them

I was dealing with jealousy that i didnt really know how to handle, and instead of talking about it properly, i bottled everything up until it came out in the worst ways.

And i dont think they meant to hurt me either.

Some things they said really hurt me, but i dont think they were trying to destroy my confidence or ruin my comfort games.

I think we both ended up hurting each other without actually wanting to.

I just want to have more people in my life now so that one friendship isnt my entire social life anymore.

And hopefully one day i can play those games again and just think: "This is fun."

Instead of: "They used to play this."

I want my comfort games to feel like my comfort games again.

(I use à translator cause im not good with english

I recently moved to the city, and honestly, what a crazy decision that turned out to be. The constant noise pollution and overcrowded streets are more than just inconvenient; they have pushed my anxiety levels through the roof. My heart races like it's trying to win some fictional championship whenever I find myself stuck in traffic or forced to dodge pedestrians on the busy sidewalks. It feels like unnecessary competition I never signed up for. Urban planners clearly didn’t think about overstimulation, did they?

Things escalated when I got an invitation to this overhyped downtown festival. On top of the regular chaos that surrounds me daily, there was even more noise and a sea of moving bodies everywhere. Trying to get through the crowd felt like being part of an endless human conveyor belt, and let me tell you, it was exhausting.

Surprise, surprise, my discomfort skyrocketed. Think intense palpitations and shortness of breath; I was a hot mess. What was supposed to be a fun event transformed into something fundamentally challenging and isolating. Back in my previous town, where traffic meant cows crossing the road and noise was just the sound of church bells ringing, I never had such extreme physiological reactions triggered simply because the environment was screaming at my senses from every direction.

I miss that calm. I miss the simplicity of it all. Now, adaptation feels far less feasible than I imagined it would be amidst this endless hustle and bustle. I thought I could handle it, but things really could spiral out of control here. Options are not exactly abundant, and every day feels like a new challenge. It is draining, and I am just tired of feeling like I am constantly in survival mode in this chaotic city.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and you would think by this point we basically know each other inside out, right? Well, apparently not! Imagine my shock when I realized he is completely oblivious to something that's a huge part of my life. I mean, come on! For real, how does that even happen? It’s like living with someone who has selective hearing or some kind of hobby filter in his brain. We've shared breakfast together while I’ve been doodling away on my sketchpad or lathered in paint for hours and he's never bothered to ask why. I'm an artist, dammit! It's more than just a hobby - it's practically what defines me.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if there’s some sort of disconnect between us. Should I try introducing him to this side of me or just leave it be and hope one day he’ll magically notice the damn easel in the corner? Maybe he's afraid he won’t understand any of it or support it. Like, dude, all you had to do was notice once when I showed you that piece hanging above our bed (the one that took weeks by the way!) With everything being so positive otherwise - he makes me laugh like no other and totally gets my love for random Netflix shows - maybe I'm blown' this whole thing out of proportion 🤦‍♀️ but seriously what would you guys do? Throwin’ paintbrushes at him until it clicks, have a polite convo or just let it slide?

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

Hi so my love life has been shit and so I've written some piece. I have no prior experience in writing or anything. I just wrote whatever I wanted to and this is what i've written

BLASPHEMY

Author’s Note: This piece is my own personal story which is inspired to me by the song I love and relate, Kalapastangan by fitterkarma

“ I’ll die with a smile

As long as you are by my side

I’ll live with regret

If I couldn’t make you smile one day yet

It is blasphemy not to love you

It is madness not to think of you

If the world were to suddenly fall apart

You’re the first one I’d look for….”

If one were to ask how I feel about you, these words would always be the first to conquer my mind.

I can feel them rushing through the blood in every part of my body, engraving my soul. All my five senses; sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch, yearns for you only, only you….

How could I ever stop loving you? It’s a sin to even think of such dreadful thoughts!!!!

I wonder how much of everything was real to you? Maybe everything was fun to you, though it was never to me and will never be. I was foolish to think I ever meant something to you. My whole world crashed as I realized I’ll never be…

They are sick of hearing about you, they tell me to forget about you. But how could I ever!? One told me to admire you but how am I supposed do that only as I have always admired you from faraway…

It aches to have the thoughts of you forever disappearing from my life. It pains to let go of you.

I wish I never realized I love you…

They tell me to not overthink and I’ll be okay but what wrong have I done? Is it a sin to love someone very deeply? They don’t believe me when I tell them I’ll keep on loving you even if you don’t exist in my chapter anymore but I know for sure you’d be the one for me as long as you exist, even if years passes by…

Even though it was for short moment, I’ll keep it close to my soul for eternity. The thought of moving on, forgetting about you and falling in love with someone new genuinely kills me deep from inside. I was over the moon when you first texted me and I could feel happiness oozing out from myself during the times we spent together.

I curse the universe for this seriously. Why does the universe have to play this game to me? Ever time I wanted to forget about you, the universe would keep reminding me about you!! If only I never realized I loved you, if only you didn’t text me and met me; would I be in this much pain….

I don’t want these emotions to be fleeting, I don’t want to forget about my love for you. So, I can be reminded of this everytime if I start forgetting. If only you knew how much everything meant to me. You’d always be the one in my mind always and every passing moment, the one whom I look for amongst the places I go, knowing you’ll never be there….

I LOVE YOU “S”.

Music Credit: “Kalapastangan” by fitterkarma (lyrics translated by iyang)