Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

So just for a background on me so it isn’t confusing.

I’m 19F and I’ve been homeschooled since I was in grade 3 till grade 8 so I had no experience with friends. I also have a anxiety disorder and really bad social anxiety

Anywayyyyyy—

To my story.

So I have this friend I’ll call D. Me and him have been friends for over 6 months now. We’re pretty close, hang out atleast once a week, tell each other everything and anything. It’s awesome. Truly.

But I feel like I’m too much. Maybe it’s just my anxiety. Maybe not. That’s why I’m here.

When I make friends I’m pretty quiet and just anxious any little thing I do is gonna make them upset. But once I get comfortable I get abit hyper and sometimes don’t really think about what I say until after the fact.

Like once we were making jokes at a clothing store, I joked about something he’d said the day before and he got really quiet for a few minutes before going back to normal.

I have had alot of friends just up and start ignoring me just cause they can or I become to much I don’t really know cause everyone just says I’m fine.

But it’s gotta be me. Three different people who were in my friend group for over three years don’t just up and leave cause they can.

And I’m scared. Cause I really like D. He’s been my first real friend I’ve had in a long time and I don’t wanna go back to being alone and friendless cause I’m an idiot.

Kinda just ranting at this point but hey that’s what this is for.

I’ll give acouple examples so I’m not asking people to blindly judge me. 😅

1.

Me and D were at a friend of ours house that were not to close with. We got talking about D and his sexuality (which he’s very openly gay) we weren’t being offensive or anything. I made a joke about his crush he had, not insulting just joking about his type (which he’s very openly does to me all the time) and he got really quiet for afew minutes.

2.

I was tutoring a kid of my coworkers and he asked me to call D (he knows him and his mom) I did and we got joking about a funny picture I have of D. He knows I have it, he finds it funny to and even encouraged me to show our close friends. He has funny pictures of me and I allow him to joke about them to. The kid brought up the picture I showed him and his mom and D got really quiet for afew minutes and then went back to normal.

Am I over sharing? Am I being too much? Should I quiet down? Just need some suggestions.

Thanks 🙏

Sooo i've been doing an art project, a video, for a mini movie-contest. For context It's supposed to be about the history of our lands and town. i'm doing almost everything from scratch, but i'm not very good at It tbh. I've been working on It a lot lately, so far i have the first 20 seconds done and other bits and pieces (🥲) but It's kind of crap. I put a lot of effort into It, but I still kind of hate how It looks. And now i have mixed feelings. I'm not sure If i should continue, just BC it matters a lot to me, or If i should just give up. Like idk if It's worth it.

growing up in this neighborhood, I've always seen families yelling at each other. it's like a daily routine here. every morning and evening, their harsh words fill the air. it gets to a point where I just put on my headphones and try to drown them out. have you ever wondered why some people constantly argue? sometimes I think they don't even remember what started the debate. it's just their way of communicating, which baffles me.

life here isn't easy, and living in a poor area of California doesn't offer many opportunities. most families are struggling, working multiple jobs, and trying to make ends meet. but still, the constant bickering seems unnecessary. is all that yelling really helping anyone feel better at the end of the day? 🤷‍♂️ sometimes I feel like I might not understand their situation entirely, but does that really justify turning every conversation into a shouting match?

i have dreams of getting out of here and finding a better life. the yelling gets to me, and I wish to live in a place where people talk to each other with kindness and understanding. wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up to laughter instead of arguments? i'm hopeful that one day, I'll be in a community that cherishes peace and supports one another. it feels like a distant dream now, but I believe it's possible.

for now, I have to learn to cope with my surroundings and stay positive. living here teaches me patience and resilience, although the loud disputes can be discouraging. it's not always easy to stay optimistic when the world around you seems so chaotic; but I'm determined to move forward, stay focused, and someday make my escape to a quieter life. who knows, maybe my story will inspire others to find their peace, too.

So, I've always been pretty sure in myself. I always believed that I knew myself well and I have always been sure in my personality. I don't know if this is just me overthinking, but I am turning 17 soon and I have realized that I don't really know if there is much depth to my personality. I have done a lot of growing in recent years, and I am far different know from the person I used to be. which is to be expected as a kid growing up. the only issue is that know I don't really know who I am. I know what I like, and don't like, but that's about it. sometimes I wonder if I am emulating my personality from certain aesthetics that I like. most of it feels like me, but sometimes I wonder if I am trying to hard to fit into one box, and other times I feel like I need to commit to one group so that I don't feel like an outsider. but my biggest issue is that I really don't know myself. and I am deeply afraid of having a shallow personality. I wonder if thats why I have a tough time making friends, or if thats why some of my friends will forget about me or ignore me. I realize that I am probably thinking into this too much, but I really am afraid of having a weak personality. does anyone have any advice for how to fix this and become a more interesting person? or for how to become more assured in myself? I really don't know why this has been bugging me so much. I think its worse because I used to be so self assured and know that I am getting older I am realizing that there are things about me that people don't like and it is just a lot to take in. anyway, thanks for being here for my rant

I’m so sorry you had to have me. I’m sorry I’m not any better. If I could walk out a door and it would mean that your life would be free of me, I would do it. I’m sorry I’m such a lazy kid. I can’t help it, mommy. Your daughter is so so tired. I’m pretty sure I have depression, but I can never get diagnosed. I’m sorry mommy. I’m such a rebel. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry I never follow what you say. Sorry for staring at you in a mean way. Sorry for ever being born and ruining your teenage years. You never deserved that. You deserve your freedom. Now, I’m sorry if one day I ever decide that I want to go and disappear for forever. I don’t see a future for myself, mommy. It’ll just be my siblings with you along the way, and if you ever cry on the day that I die, I’m sorry for breaking your heart.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.