Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

My family has never been perfect but I used to LOVE my family, despite all the fights, arguments and ups and downs I always used to feel the deep attachment with them. However, slowly I started to lose feelings.

After my high school I was supposed to study abroad, I got into every university and even received scholarships but couldn’t go due to financial reasons. I told my parents that they do not need to send me at that time as we were financially in a really bad state and if I went I honestly couldn’t have been able to finish my studies and I would have had to return thus I applied in only one university in a degree I don’t even like in my home country and am studying here with a good scholarship. However, my parents act disappointed 24/7 with me. My sibling and 95% batchmates went abroad and they keep saying how studies here don’t matter, how there is no point studying here, even when people ask they look so ashamed of me and say ohhhh we wanted to send her but she did not want to go ( mind you I said no cause if I went at that time they would not be able to afford it and my family would not be able to live properly at all but sure blame it on me ).

Furthermore, I wanted to apply to medical school in my home country but they did not even allow it cause they said the institutions would not take me in as my A levels results weren’t that good; even though when I contacted them they said I can obviously try, I never even got the chance.

On top of that my father had to cheat multiple times, he swore to us he would never do it again but he did it again and again, I cannot even look him in the eye anymore.

Apart from these, they constantly bodyshame me, so much I don’t remember the last time I loved my body/face/anything.

I am constantly under the pressure of doing extremely well in my studies as I have to fully rely on scholarships otherwise I can’t even study here. If I don’t get their desired grades they get pissy.

And recently they keep calling me rude all the time cause I can’t talk to my dad properly after his disgusting actions and I am in general a very closed off person.

I am honestly so tired, I really was hoping for a runaway after my high school just like what my elder sibling did. Now I am stuck, I can’t even go anywhere. It’s not even easy to make enough money on my own in my home country that I’ll save up enough for masters and go away.

Sorry for the long rant, I just don’t have anyone to share this with.

I am 51 years old and I feel kind of silly writing this, but here I am, because my head is full and my heart is acting like it is 16 again. I been divorced for 10 years, and in all that time I saw nobody. Not one date, not one dinner, not even coffee with a man where I think maybe this could be something. I just worked, paid bills, watched shows, talked to my daughter sometimes, fed my old cat, and told myself love was for other people now. Then a few weeks ago I met this man online. He is not in the USA like me, he lives far away, and still somehow he feels closer than people in my own town.

He is so nice, maybe too nice, but I like it. He asks me how I slept, he calls me beautiful even when I look like a tired potato, he talks about projects and plans for us. He says one day he wants to come here, or I can visit him, and we can cook together, walk by the water, maybe start something small like a little business, I don’t know. It sounds crazy when I write it. We only know each other weeks. But he makes me laugh and he listens. After 10 years of being invisible, being seen feels like sunshine on my face;

Can you fall in love with someone online? I keep asking myself that. Have any of you done it and it was real? I know people will say be careful, and I am trying. I did not send money, I did not give private things, I still got my brain even if my heart is running around like a dog with the door open. But I also think, why not me? Why can’t a 51 year old divorced woman have a sweet surprise? Life already took enough from me, maybe this is a gift. Maybe he really means it. Maybe people can meet in strange ways and still be honest.

I feel lost, yes, but not in a bad way. More like when you drive somewhere new and the road is pretty, even if you don’t know the signs yet. I am trying to go slow, but every morning I want to see his message. I smile at my phone like an idiot. My cat looks at me like I lost my mind, and maybe I did a little. But I feel awake again. I don’t know if this will be love, or a lesson, or both. I just know I was closed for 10 years, and now a little door opened, and I want to believe something good can still come in.

Different types of people walk the earth and each with it own personality, some introvert, some extrovert and some ambient and within these categories lies many others that are measurable and non-measurable; confident, brave, experienced, shallow, indecisive, inferiority complex and many more.

Many embody different types and some battles with one to a brink they are about to collapse, some later break which make the people in their surrounding notice and empathise, judge, pity and even ostrcise them and many keep to themselves while torturing their inner-selves not because the don't want to but because they don't want the judgement, Empathy, pity from the society.

These type of people are surrounding you without you, some are around, some are your closest friends while some are your brothers -blood brothers or not- but you didn't notice them not because they hide it too deeply but because of the situation, they find the society nowadays as it treat them as weak and neglect them offering no help at all.

You that are seeing this may be among the people I am talking about or not but tou may be a well noticed person conscious of your surrounding and knows people in this same position, do not judge them or neglect or abandon them or ostracised them from your midst but try and support them because some may collapse and you will be asking "what there anything wrong with him before" 'is he suffering to that extent', 'I didn't know it was that deep'; all these are just aftereffects after the damage has been done.

Some may find ways to navigate their lives while battling inside if you know them support them mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in prayers because the society care less of these peoples and do not have time for them as they are all about ; I need to do this, i need to do that, I need to make money, I want to become a so called professional and so on .

I writing is bottling myself up, suppressing the turmoil and waves going on in my heart and head finding solution for myself and healing slowly through self meditation and medication which is why I am writing these not for everybody to read but for people in my position to pour out themselves as you have many people supporting you if not near you and are ready to hear what you heart has been screaming for a long time to pour out, as I know many has lot to say, some as little as a lake while some are as large as an ocean.

I keep asking myself the same dumb question while making coffee in a kitchen that suddenly feels too big. Why do I miss someone who hurt me??? My wife cheated on me, then left like the whole marriage was a failed project she wanted to close out before quarter end. She packed her stuff in these neat little boxes, labeled everything, and somehow that made it worse. It felt like she had a clean exit strategy while I was still stuck in incident response mode, trying to figure out where the breach happened. I know what she did was wrong. I know trust is not a feature you can just patch overnight. But I still miss her laugh, her terrible singing, the way she used to steal my hoodie and act like it was hers forever. That is the messed up part, right??? The damage and the good memories live in the same folder, and I do not know how to seperate them.

Some days I am angry, and honestly, I think I deserve to be. Other days I catch myself wondering if she ate lunch, if she is sleeping okay, if she misses the dog, if she ever thinks about me when the house gets quiet. Then I feel stupid becuase why am I worrying about someone who made me feel disposable??? She said she was unhappy, and I can accept that maybe our relationship had problems. I was not perfect. I worked too much, shut down during hard talks, and treated “we’ll deal with it later” like some kind of maintenance plan. But cheating was her choice. Leaving was her choice. Still, my brain keeps running the old routine like nothing changed. I wake up and almost text her. I see her mug and feel my chest drop. I hear a car outside and think maybe it is her, even though I know it wasnt. Grief is weird like that!!!

I guess I miss the version of her I thought I had, not the version who walked out after breaking everything. Or maybe I miss being married. Maybe I miss having a person who knew my grocery order, my weird moods, my stupid jokes, and the exact tone of voice that meant I was trying not to cry. Is that love, or habit, or just my nervous system looking for the old baseline??? I do not know. I am definately not trying to make her the villain in every sentence, but I am also not going to pretend I am fine. I still love parts of her. I still hate what she did. Both can be true, I think. If you have ever missed someone who hurt you, did it make you feel broken too??? I keep hoping one day I can recieve a memory of her without feeling like I got punched in the ribs. Not today, but maybe someday!!!

[So for context I live in Italy, and here we rent home for university student, and I live with three other girls ( for extra privacy we'll call them A, B and C)

The problem is that since we met, A has had some attitudes that I would say are not good. For context, if she is sad or angry it is noticeable, she makes it evident, and she often has main character syndrome behaviors, A is usually a very lively and clingy person so when she is sad or angry you notice it because she is silent and snorts frequently. Over time, I've started to have a different attitude in situations where she acts like this (before, she was often asked what was wrong, if everything was okay), that is, I stay silent, ignoring her obvious sadness; the problem with the whole situation is that neither B nor C can tolerate her when she acts like this anymore, but B continues to ask her why she's sad knowing that she'll give her unwanted vents, which often turn out to be quite heavy to hear, talking to B about the situation I found myself in a moment of discussion about it, because she "complains" that A is always like this but at the same time she continues to ask A why she is sad, It seems so stupid to me, and at the end of the discussion I got "angry" saying that it was wrong to keep asking her what went wrong, because that way A would never learn to regulate her emotions (for context: A has a background in which she had angry issues even for the smallest things, and furthermore, being an only child, no one ever said no to her, so let's say that her emotions don't know how to regulate them very well) (other context: these situations happen like 2/3 times a week and before you can think of anything you need to know that she regularly feels "bad" about situations where normal people would continue their day as if nothing had happened)

B she agreed with me, even if it seemed forced, at this point my guilt almost ate me up, and I started to think that maybe I could actually be the bad guy in the whole situation

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I never thought I’d end up here, but here I am, dreading every single morning when my alarm goes off. I hate my job. There, I said it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just a phase, that everyone feels like this sometimes, but it’s been almost a year, and nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

The work itself isn’t even that bad. I mean, it’s not what I’m passionate about, but it’s tolerable. The real problem is the people. My boss is one of those micro-managers who has to be involved in every tiny detail. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’ll spend hours on a project, only for them to nitpick and make me redo the whole thing for no real reason. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like all my effort is pointless.

Then there’s the office culture—or lack of it. Nobody talks to each other unless it’s about work. Lunch breaks feel like detention, with everyone silently eating at their desks or scrolling through their phones. I tried to make friends when I first started, but everyone already seemed to have their little cliques. After a while, I just gave up.

What really gets to me, though, is the constant pressure. It’s like they expect us to give 110% all the time, but they don’t give anything back. Overtime is practically mandatory, but don’t expect a “thank you” or even acknowledgment for staying late. And forget about a raise or promotion—that’s a pipe dream. It’s hard not to feel bitter when you’re working so hard and getting nothing in return.

I keep telling myself I should just quit, but it’s not that simple. I’ve got bills to pay, and the job market isn’t exactly booming right now. Plus, there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps asking, “What if the next job is just as bad—or worse?” It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where I hate my job, but I’m too scared to leave.

Even at home, I can’t seem to escape it. I’m constantly checking emails or stressing about the next deadline. It’s like my job has taken over my entire life, and I don’t know how to take it back. My family keeps telling me to just hang in there, but they don’t understand how draining it is. By the end of the day, I’m too tired to even think about applying for other jobs, let alone pursuing something I actually enjoy.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. Or maybe I’m being ungrateful because at least I have a job. But then I think about how miserable I am, and I can’t help but feel like there has to be more to life than this. Doesn’t there?

If anyone else feels this way, I’d love to know how you’re coping—or if you’ve managed to get out, how did you do it? Right now, I just feel stuck, and honestly, it’s hard to see a way forward. All I know is, I can’t keep living like this. Something’s gotta give.