Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

I felt that this person had absolutely no shame, none whatsoever. She truly didn't care what others said about her, not in any way. She didn't feel it; she embraced the pain, the sorrow if necessary, something that I, personally, find deeply pleasing because I live to escape it. This person, to me, is a beautiful being because she has the ability to be immersed in things that I don't, I don't earn a deep understanding of them. I wish I had no shame at all, to assert myself, to withdraw, thinking only of myself and not even thinking about what I do behind the scenes, to be able to say something to others. This person, on the other hand, is hidden, but I'm not, and that's what's beautiful about her. However, I also observe too many limitations. This person lives for the present, completely present, hoping that something will happen in the future that she expects others to do, leaving everything in the hands of others. The more someone tries to control their life, at the expense of others, isolating themselves, the more they are shaped by their actions, without any awareness of them. It's as if they don't care how their life impacts the world. This is something I do care about; it interests me completely. I care about how everything impacts my life and how I act accordingly, not just seeking what's necessary to survive, because I care about the whole picture, I care about my complete self. Seen this way, I don't find this person attractive at all. They may be restrictive, but their life is one of false freedom because it's not earned. It's a drift, unaware of it, ignoring it, and therefore acting in ways that benefit it. Meanwhile, I, like everyone else, am adrift, but I formulate actions to gradually steer myself in the direction I want, and I ensure that this is my path, that my path is my own drift. I don't know what's wrong with this person; it seems they have absolutely no limits. They're capable of staying like this until the very end, just like that. It's as if it reinforces their way of being, their spirit in front of others, and it's that of living isolated in the clouds, somehow pleasing their original group, so that they don't go anywhere, yes, at the cost of their suffering, at the cost of being rejected by the outside world, just as, I think, their original group wants. In some way, this person must be proud of who she is, but something throws me off, and it's precisely the way things unfolded. I fought for her until the very end, even going against authority, which I believe is what she sees as a true friend—someone who genuinely cares for her, someone who, of course, doesn't dare to be herself. This is precisely because she's incapable of defying authority, of disobeying an order, no matter what it was. I did what I did, and I consider it honorable, which is why she sees me as different from others—someone who is truly there, who isn't bad, but quite the opposite, genuinely good, who doesn't come with lies of any kind. This person's perspective must be quite strange. Naturally, she's incapable of taking responsibility for what she's done, because that would imply an obvious preference for someone else, and that's something she can't do, because in her mind it would mean she doesn't care about others, and therefore she might miss out on opportunities. This is something she keeps to herself. The more she withdraws into her own world, the more elusive she becomes. I think it's crucial to conduct these assessments to know who I'm going to encounter later on and not be swayed by mere appearances. She's a strange person, and indeed, she must love me, she must feel that she loves me, precisely because there's someone who truly loves her, and not just anyone is willing to take the same risks, not even herself, for someone else, at least not usually. I feel she loves me, but at the same time, she's waiting for the right moment to express it, for us to ultimately be more than friends. For her, a friend, as we've discussed, is someone who exists outside the relationship, someone who doesn't commit to her, someone who isn't capable of taking risks. They only share common feelings, but neither takes the risk of going further, which is what happened in this case. We both exposed ourselves, and indeed, she had to take care of me, make sure I was okay, to keep me there. In my opinion, she has a completely twisted mindset: for her, taking care of me is maintaining my status, because she knows that this is the only way she can go to him and have the same benefit as always, of someone who loves her. And for that, she takes risks, she falls apart in front of others, in order to preserve that affection, to keep it a secret, and to speak about our relationship at her discretion. She already considers me hers, precisely because I am who I am because of her, and vice versa.

I feel like I belong to her, as if I couldn't belong to anyone else, because she perceives me as someone outside her own world, because she understands that not everyone is capable of doing for her what I've done, not at all. Most likely, everything she does will take a turn, all in accordance with the fact that everything fits together in the moment, because that's what her world is based on: fitting things together to navigate it.

In a few weeks it's gonna be my final exams of 8th grade. Let me tell you, don't try to change me. I'm in the firm belief I'm fundamentally stupid. Last unit, which was Unit 2, I scored a 25/60 in maths and 22/60 in Hindi, and somehow my family got more mad at the fact I called myself stupid than the fact I failed. I scored that low, and I'm lucky it wasn't the last exam or else I would've been held back a year, since I also did pathetic in Science at 45.5 in which I should've scored higher since I'm good at science, I got 43/60 in Social Studies, 51/60 in English, but I failed. They got more angry I said I was stupid, I was! I'm dumb for trusting the math teacher to start on the hardest questions like she said. And mom said the weirdest thing, she asked how can I improve if I call myself a failure or stupid. I was, for even when I studied hard I forgot and I took too long to answer, because I'm slow like a slug and stupid. And if I fail this unit now, I'm gonna be held back. The maths teacher keeps threatening the class about it as a real thing. And I will fail because I'm fundamentally stupid. I don't feel like studying, and that's fine, because stupid people don't deserve privilege, just slog. If I succeed this exam, or at least score a decent 60-70% than last time in maths and half in Hindi, I'm cursed. What I'm saying is that means for every Unit 2 exam, I suck the worst. That happened in 7th, it happened in Unit 2 of 8th, and this is the final third one, and if I do slightly better, I'm cursed. I normally score decent in Unite 1, but I'm praying at least in math I score well, because screw Hindi, even my parents gave up the language for me cus they now why I struggle even with tuitions, it's too hard, even for them!

Now, you might say, "Make your own timetable!" or "Maybe practice time management", shut up! Shut up you fucking ugly bitches! I'll fail my own timed 3 hour exam, or even revision sheets timed, I'll fail at math which is one of the main subjects I need to pass to go ahead, and plus, one guy got held back and he's in 7th grade going to 8th when he should be going to 9th now like me. I'll be held back as well. My teacher may say in 9th she can shift Hindi to art, but it's impossible, in CBSE, you just can't. It would make my cosplay event not worth it then. Imagine how many other people failed that I'm not aware of, that got held back with no friends which is why I didn't know, that lost every opportunity to succeed because of this. I'll be one of them if I act too cocky and tell myself, "I can do this". I simply can't. Convince me and I'll find you, kill you, and bury your body in the ocean where nobody can find you. And in CBSE, no way they'd retake exams from 8th-9th. Why would they retake exams? I've not heard of that. You can't do that. You can't do that in CBSE. It's too much coddling, anyways.

To those who know JJBA, I'm dumb enough for someone like Fugo to crash out and go fucking batshit crazy. Seriously, Narancia sucks even worse than me at maths, and Fugo stabs him with a fork in Golden Wind. I'm sorry, what?! I know Golden Wind is freaky or weird as fuck, but nah, I need those high standards to pass. In fact, since I'm planning to dress up as Joseph Joestar for an event a month after my exams in March, Joseph won't look at me and won't call me dumb because he is dumb, but Caesar Zeppeli would and he'd also become an angry Italian like Fugo. Admit it, he hates stupid people! He's a hotheaded man who's strong, what I'm not. I'm stupid, see? I'm no good at cosplaying either, it's my first time. So the best thing is to just give up, maybe leave school, convince my family I can be homeschooled somehow, or just die since I'm too stupid to be alive. They won't give second chances, not anymore. This is my last dance, my final act before promotion, and until then, I won't pick my ass up if I convince myself I can do this. I can't. Impossible stays impossible. Those who believe in change are the retarded fags themselves. Fucking hell, just anyone, give me any 3 GOOD WAYS to just die, if I decide I'm worthless to everyone, my family, my brother, everyone, I won't miss them because they won't miss me. They'll move on. I still fail to understand why they get more mad when I call myself stupid when the truth is is bold letters...

I'M FUCKING STUPID AND AN UGLY BITCH WHORE OF A DAUGHTER YOU LITTLE SHITS

Tbh there isn’t much of a story, more needing to take things off my back. If at any moment u feel uncomfortable just stop reading and do or go somewhere else. Well… ig here it is.. I hate myself, Ik it’s a thing that most ppl say or think but for everyone it’s different I think. I hate everything about myself, but I think I mostly hate the fact that I’m gay, masc, and fat. I go against everything. I feel like everything’s been going for the worst but I don’t want to stop, I just act like it so the ppl who care don’t help me as much. But I didn’t lie, I don’t want to not to stop, I like the feeling of anything bad really. Ik it sounds bad but it isn’t I swear. I think for once my dad is right.. maybe being gay is a disease after all, I mean I was happier when I was young and identified as straight, I didn’t worry if anyone thought I was a wannabe boy or if every girl friend I have thinks I immediately like them just because I say I’m gay. I think that’s way I started doing what I am, started to slowly just not eat. It started little, just skipping lunch at school, then not eating anything in the morning or at lunch at school, then after a year of that the pain went away and I didn’t really weight wise, I didn’t have stomach pains anymore. I felt empty. I felt.. feel out of control. Then fast forward this December it went from normal to really good, I didn’t care what my mom felt for me eating less then 100-300 calories for about 3-4 days on end. I remember them, it was a dream and if I had a choice I’d do again, I don’t regret it. I think I lost about 3kgs in that span or maybe more idk. Anyways now im 77kgs still losing. I was about 86kg im mid November or maybe a bit lower. And if I could say anything about how it’s been I’d say it’s addicting. The scale, I mean Idrc anymore if I do or don’t have muscle anymore. Idk what’s so addicting about the scale but it is, I don’t even really care to eat at this point, I just do it because I have to live and so my mom doesn’t call a therapist for me or smth like that. But that isn’t what I wanted to say, what I wanted to say is that these are the few but main reasons why I hate myself and I think it’s the minimum at the very least. So ig my question is, does anyone feel the same? Am I as fucked up as I seen to be?. I wish u all are okay and happy. Good morning, good afternoon, good night

Teenagehood is a crock of shit. All those teen shows and movies fucking lied!! (TW mentions of depression)

I have about a year until I graduate and I’m lowkey getting impatient. I can’t wait to move to University and close this miserable chapter of my life.

I mean yeah there were lots of fun things, but the bad things were just SO BAD that I can’t ignore them at all.

Like don’t get me started on my mental health, the moment I turned 13 that shit deteriorated like crazy!! Like I love my parents but they’re one of the main reasons I’m so depressed like they’ve done so many things that genuinely make me wanna kms!! I actually had a real fear when I was 14 that I wouldn’t make it past 16 cause I might lose my mind and end it!

I also can’t wait to leave this school. Everyone here is so fucking fake like ugh, and the only two people who I felt even remotely comfortable with being myself left the school (one of them left the fucking continent)!

Everyone else is so fake, I can’t believe there was a time where I genuinely saw them as friends, like thank goodness I opened my eyes and stopped brainwashing myself! Gurl, they barely, if ever, talk to you, and they DEFINITELY say shit behind your back like “look at the gay depressed emo girl with anger issues, she probably cuts herself” (I don’t but if scars didn’t exist I would in a heartbeat).

And let me not start on dating! Those teen romance stories are fake as fuck!! Good thing I didn’t try to date any of these fuckass boys! They’re so fucking insensitive and misogynistic! The only time some of those fuckers show any interest in me is when they wanna sexualise my body! Go eat shit!!

Soon I’m gonna graduate and leave this place, and I’m gonna block every whackass motherfucker from this school man I’m done!!

I guess if anyone wants to share their version of teenage hood or if they somewhat relate to my experience go ahead.

Okay, so I know I tagged it as "workplace drama" but it's more like college drama. I was a 3D animation major tho, and I was in a classroom of 9 students in my 3rd year, so I feel like it's kind of alike. Anyways, I have a story that, in retrospect, I definetely had a part in the drama, but I also definitely suffered from it at the time. I just want to know your opinion on if I was being a bit paranoid (which I felt I was sometimes) or not.

I feel like the atmosphere in my class degraded the more time passed. In my 1st year, it was mostly okay, I was discovering how 3D softwares worked and just trying to make at least a decent job with what I understood. I managed to model the second most important character, create some assets, animate and even voice act as the leading character in that movie (I'm a bit embarrassed about how my voice acting turned out, but I'm still proud I had the opportunity to do it) ! Group wise, it was also mostly okay, I just didn't talk all that much, though I would a little bit with people I thought I could be friends with. There was just this thing that bothered me a bit towards the end of the 1st year. I was talking with two upperclassmen, and the classmate that I was hanging around with (that was sitting behind me, let's call him Foo) was looking at us talking with a sort of angry expression while I had my back turned ? When I turned around to look at him again, I asked what was going on and like...he kept going defensive and was like "wow, so I can't look anymore ?" or "okay, then I'm not looking anymore" while pouting and things along those lines. To this day, I think it was weird, but also at the time, I was genuinely confused and was wondering if something was wrong.

Second year, however, was the WORST for me, I literally tried to fail as much as possible so that I'd get expelled and not have to go to college anymore. That was probably because I had a conversation with some of my teammates about who they'd want to work with if they had the chance to choose, and from that conversation, with a quick math, I realized that practically nobody wanted to work with me, and it weighed on me for the rest of the year. There was also this rampant "he said she said" thing going on. For example, a teammate (let's call her G-A) came up to me telling me how she found the way the way Foo smiled creepy or how the leader of our film for the second year (I'll call him G-B) was acting before leaving and other things. I remember the first time she came to me to gossip, I wanted to cry a bit because I didn't want to associate myself with gossip like that...I still ended up gossiping sometimes because I gotta survive and try to fit in this class somehow (which I failed to do so). I was thinking that, maybe I could be friends with her and that we could get along. I also tried my best to open up to her a little bit about what I liked and whatnot, because I was struggling with speaking up and was mostly silent. I'm absolutely ashamed I joined in this, and I do not wish to get myself entangled like that or feel as misrable as this ever again. If it isn't G-A, it was Foo who was kind of bothering me because I kept catching him staring at me. I think there were definitely some times where I thought I did catch him, but yeah, most of the time I did catch him staring. And everytime he'd go defensive.

3rd year of college was also a bad year. Foo's staring problem got worse, especially because I was seated next to him. Overtime, I've grown tired of it. My last straw was when I was trying to look at the board that was on my right, and Foo also happened to be seated on my right, and he proceeded to go all like "you were looking at me". I tried to explain to him that I wanted to look at the board, but he insisted that I was looking at him. From that day, I've decided to not talk to him anymore or to even look at him for the rest of the year. I was that petty 😅​. Apart from this, I was criticized by G-A over my work flow even though I was in the process of making something, the parts of the animatic that I was in charge of ended up not making it to the final animatic footage (G-A told me that I didn't do much for the team one day EVEN THOUGH I tried to greyscale the shots that were in the animatic to the best of my ability knowing my parts weren't included), almost every prop I made ended up being replaced by one another teammate did, the people in the team didn't include me in the animating team (even though I could animate just fine), Foo one day decided it was a good idea to take an object that I did to shade it without warning me when I clearly stated in the group chat that I'd take care of it. Basically, no matter what I tried to do, it didn't feel like my contributions were good enough to make it to the final product according to the entire team. Only a poster that was important in the film along with a few assets (that you don't even see that much) ended up making it, and even then, the poster almost got replaced by Foo's own version of the poster. The only reason my version was picked was because the main prof visibly had mixed feelings concerning Foo's version, and I looked at the prof like "please don't choose it". There was also this one time where G-A decided that we should add TeamViewer out of nowhere. From what I understood, we could basically take control of a computer remotely. I didn't really like that plan because of how sudden it was, and at this point I was a little paranoid, so I made it seem like I complied with it at campus while not installing TeamViewer at home, partly because I didn't understand how to even set it up, but mostly because I didn't like the idea of people accessing my computer at home from campus. Turns out, days later, G-A tried to access my computer via TeamViewer from campus, but because I didn't set it up at home, it didn't work. She said it was so that she could do some normal maps of textures of some posters, but in my eyes, TeamViewer isn't needed for this kind of thing because you can convert pictures into normal maps online, so it was at least a bit suspiscious to me. Apart from this, the group in itself still had a problem with gossiping and drama, so much that one of the leaders of the group ended up gathering everyone around a table to try and address the elephant in the room. The atmosphere got bad overtime, and with how little I had when it comes to assignments for the last movie, the main prof eventually told me I could not come to campus at a certain point because it would be pointless for me to show up only to not do anything the entire day. The moment I knew it was time for me to not go to campus anymore, I was literally out of there, I could not stand spending more time with those classmates anymore.

The more I type about this, the more I'm like "wow, college sucked :D", but I'm so used to things not going well in some aspects that I can't help but laugh. I guess I just want to have a trace of this story somewhere so that I don't forget about it. Again, please feel free to tell me your opinion about it, maybe I'll get a good laugh out of this. Thank you for reading this whole novel, and I wish you a good day/night <33

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.