Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

i dont even know if this makes sence, but i keep thinking about how to stop masterburation on memory, like not even the act only, but the stupid replay of it in my head. it feels like my brain saved every bad habbit in hd and plays it when i am bored, sad, lonely, or just lying there at night like a loser. i tell myself “ok this is the last time,” and then the next day my mind is already making little excuses. it is so dumb becuase nobody is forcing me, but it still feels like i am being dragged by my own head.

i tried deleting stuff, blocking sites, even putting my phone far away, and yeah it works for maybe two days. then the memory part starts. like i dont need to see anything, my brain just remembers it, and that is the part that makes me feel kinda hopeless. have you ever had something you dont want to think about, but the more you fight it, the louder it gets? thats how it is for me. i start thinking maybe i am broken, but then i also know im probably just stuck in a loop. i dont think shame helps much, but i still feel it anyway, which is annoying as hell.

the only thing that kinda helps is not acting like i can magically fix my whole brain in one night. i try to get up, drink water, walk around, play a game, or text someone about random stuff before the memory gets too strong. sometimes i fail and feel like trash after, but sometimes i dont, and those times matter a little. i dont have some perfect answer. i just think stopping “on memory” means building new boring memories over the old ones, again and again, even when it feels fake. maybe thats all self control is, just being tired and still choosing not to make it worse.

I’m 18, I’m a guy, and I have no damn clue what I’m doing after this. People keep asking me about my “goals for the future” like I’m supposed to pull out a clean little answer from my pocket. I dont have one. I don’t know what to study, because every subject feels like a trap. Pick tech? Cool, AI is eating that. Pick art? AI is eating that too. Pick writing, design, coding, business, anything creative, anything office-related? Same story. I know people say, “AI won’t replace everyone,” and maybe they’re right, but it still feels stupid to plan my whole life around jobs that might not even exist in a few years.

I also don’t know if I want a family. Sometimes I think having someone and maybe kids could be nice, like there’s a real point to all this boring grinding. Other times I look at adults around me and think, wow, alot of you look tired as hell. I’ve seen couples who love each other but barely talk because bills, work, stress, and life turned them into roommates. I’ve seen parents who clearly care about their kids but also look like they want to vanish for a week. I’m not judging them. Life is hard, and people do their best. But when someone asks me if I want that future, I don’t know what to say. I can’t even decide what to eat half the time, and I’m supposed to know if I want to raise a whole human?

The thing is, I’m not lazy, at least I don’t think I am. I’ve worked small jobs, helped family, tried to be useful, tried to make plans. I had teachers tell me I was smart, and I had others look at me like I was already wasting my life. My freinds seem to be moving in some direction, even if they’re faking it. One wants to study engineering, one wants money, one wants to move away, one just wants peace. I want peace too, but peace isn’t a career. I want to beleive there’s something I’ll find and care about, but right now it feels like everyone is just pretending certainty is normal. Maybe confidence is just a costume people wear so nobody notices they’re scared.

I guess my “goal” is to not completely screw myself over, wich is not exactly inspiring. I want to stay healthy, not become bitter, not waste every day scrolling, not end up stuck in some miserable enviroment where I hate waking up. I want to learn something useful, even if I don’t know what that is yet. I want to meet people who aren’t fake, maybe love someone, maybe not, maybe have kids, maybe never. I don’t have a neat answer, and maybe that’s fine, but it still feels like shit when everyone acts like I should. So what are you supposed to do at 18 when the future looks open, but also kind of empty? Maybe I’ll figure it out definately, maybe I won’t, but I’m tired of acting like being lost means I’m broken;

I am 17 and an oldest daughter. I have always tried my hardest to be a good kid. I get all of my chores done, I do my homework, I take college classes, I help out around the house all the time with cleaning, making dinner, taking care of my siblings, getting them to school on time, and take care of the animals. I have no problem helping out, and picking up tasks that someone else doesn't have time to do, or is too tired to do. I do it without complaining or making a big deal of it. I just get it done. lately I have hardly had any free time. I never get to sit down and actually do something I enjoy without being interrupted. and I don't think I have gotten a full night of sleep in months. my family knows that I get loads of homework, and they know that i am in the middle of my final week for my online college class. they also know that if they don't want to do something, they can make me do it. late I have just been feeling exhausted. I want to help out, but by the time I am done with jobs around the house, I have very little time, and no energy left to get my homework done. I come home, and I do all of my jobs, and as soon as I try to start working on my homework, I get handed a list of other jobs to do. I am not allowed to fight back on those requests, so I do it. I can't help but feel like my family is asking too much of me. they have started to expect me to be able to give 110 percent of myself all the time, and I just can't do it anymore. but I also can't fight back and say no because then I am not a good kid anymore, and then I am nothing. I want so desperately to be the perfect kid. I wonder if it's because I subconsciously believe that if I become the perfect daughter, then I will finally be appreciated. but it seems like no matter how much of myself that i give, and no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough. they will always expect more from me. even when I have nothing left to give. so I try my best to ignore my exhaustion that is always there, and keep going. I just don't know if it will ever be enough, but I don't know how to be anything other than the good kid who doesn't really need worried about or taken care of. even though what I long for the most some nights is for someone to take care of me. but how are the people in my family supposed to take care of me, if they can barely care for themselves? I am just so tired, and I want to be able to do the things that I enjoy doing again. I want to be able to go hang out with my friends every once in a while without being made to feel guilty about not being home to help out. how am I supposed to keep going, and giving more of myself, if I have nothing left to give? how can I find peace and time for myself again without feeling like a terrible daughter?

Hello, today I want to share some of my stories, I don't know who or where to share with so I want to share it online, have you guys ever been get misunderstood by your own family? Like your family don't trust your study, even you're study very hard to get a better future and to keep their pride and imagine but all they see is you're always playing game or lazy, even though I barely playing game, I did play but only when I feel tired, stressed or left out, and they blame me for doing it and said I always say I'm study but they never seen, and the worst is when you have to study overtime until 2-3am but to them you're just playing game lying about you're study, sometimes i'm so toxic in school already but when I go home I get blame more, and sometimes I just want a cheerful from them so I have more motivated to study but they didn't do that to me, they always say I'm their hope but they didn't cheers me up but always drain me down, and they always say I'm a selfish person, and as a bad grade student I tried so hard to study and yet I still failed one subject and they took this as a problem and blame me if I study harder more maybe I don't failed and yesterday when my team project are all depends on me, I was so tired and stressed and after hearing this I was so toxic so I can't control myself and hit my pillow to release my pressured but when they saw that instead of comforting me, they blame me and said if studying is that hard then just stop and go to work you dumbass, and destroy my set up, and they said I never work so all of those stuff is their money not mine, I want to explain but I don't know why I can't, I just stand still and listen and my eyes started to cry for no reason, they say they never force me to study this hard at 2-3am but they said I'm the only hope, and because I don't want to disappoint them, I force myself to do it, and in return I got that instead, and this is not the first time, it's been since I was a kid, when I get top1 in the class, the best presenter, they ignore it and said it's nothing special, and when I'm in presentation, other parents come to see their children but I'm alone and even worst when I graduate from high school, I'm watching other parents come to their children graduation and take a picture with them and smile, while I just going alone and then go home, when I ask why they didn't come, they said come there only wasted their time and money, they have to work to get more money and I just stay silent and didn't respond anything after that day, I think I'm just an useless son in that house no matter how hard I tried.

i care for one of my friends greatly, and i really do love being friends with them, but i also feel a deep-rooted hatred toward them.

i've realized their actions toward me are negative, and i hate how ive been treated, but i still feel a close connection. this hatred with how ive been treated has turned into hatred for them in general, and i feel very guilty for it.

how can i get past this, or explain it to them, without sounding like a bad person?

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I never thought I’d end up here, but here I am, dreading every single morning when my alarm goes off. I hate my job. There, I said it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just a phase, that everyone feels like this sometimes, but it’s been almost a year, and nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

The work itself isn’t even that bad. I mean, it’s not what I’m passionate about, but it’s tolerable. The real problem is the people. My boss is one of those micro-managers who has to be involved in every tiny detail. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’ll spend hours on a project, only for them to nitpick and make me redo the whole thing for no real reason. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like all my effort is pointless.

Then there’s the office culture—or lack of it. Nobody talks to each other unless it’s about work. Lunch breaks feel like detention, with everyone silently eating at their desks or scrolling through their phones. I tried to make friends when I first started, but everyone already seemed to have their little cliques. After a while, I just gave up.

What really gets to me, though, is the constant pressure. It’s like they expect us to give 110% all the time, but they don’t give anything back. Overtime is practically mandatory, but don’t expect a “thank you” or even acknowledgment for staying late. And forget about a raise or promotion—that’s a pipe dream. It’s hard not to feel bitter when you’re working so hard and getting nothing in return.

I keep telling myself I should just quit, but it’s not that simple. I’ve got bills to pay, and the job market isn’t exactly booming right now. Plus, there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps asking, “What if the next job is just as bad—or worse?” It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where I hate my job, but I’m too scared to leave.

Even at home, I can’t seem to escape it. I’m constantly checking emails or stressing about the next deadline. It’s like my job has taken over my entire life, and I don’t know how to take it back. My family keeps telling me to just hang in there, but they don’t understand how draining it is. By the end of the day, I’m too tired to even think about applying for other jobs, let alone pursuing something I actually enjoy.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. Or maybe I’m being ungrateful because at least I have a job. But then I think about how miserable I am, and I can’t help but feel like there has to be more to life than this. Doesn’t there?

If anyone else feels this way, I’d love to know how you’re coping—or if you’ve managed to get out, how did you do it? Right now, I just feel stuck, and honestly, it’s hard to see a way forward. All I know is, I can’t keep living like this. Something’s gotta give.