Anonymous venting

Having recently retired from my long-term career as a wedding planner, I found myself confronted with a delicate family dilemma. My son, Jack, and his fiancée, Emma, approached me with the request to organize their wedding. Given my extensive background, this didn't seem like an unusual ask, especially since I had taken charge of planning my daughter's nuptials earlier.

However, I felt compelled to decline their request. The major sticking point for me was Emma's habitual tardiness, which she attributes to cultural differences, asserting that it's common in her family to be late. Indeed, her family members typically arrive at least 30 minutes late to any event, and this has always been a source of frustration for me. I knew that organizing a wedding with Emma would require constant meetings, and I couldn't bear the thought of repeatedly waiting for her to show up.

This issue was exacerbated by the fact that we would need to attend various appointments with vendors and other professionals, where punctuality is paramount. I feared such recurring delays could potentially embarrass me and reflect poorly on us both. Despite previous discussions about her punctual shortcomings – one vivid memory includes her being late to my own birthday dinner – there seemed to be no shift in her behavior. Even after speaking with my son, who invariably supports her, there seemed to be no resolution in sight.

I clearly explained my reasons to them, but the conversation did not go well. Jack was disappointed, feeling I wasn’t giving Emma a fair chance, especially in light of my involvement in his sister's wedding. Emma, on the other hand, felt personally offended that her lateness was the reason I declined the role. From my perspective, her consistent failure to arrive on time left me unwilling to venture into what I anticipated would be a stressful project.

Imagine if this scenario were unwrapped under the glaring lights of a reality show, with cameras tracking every argument and confession. The tension could escalate dramatically, potentially dividing family members and audiences alike. Would viewers empathize with my plight as a punctuality-prone planner, or would they vilify me for not making allowances for cultural differences? Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, magnifying personal issues to entertain its audience.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Recently, I moved into my first apartment, which has given me the exciting chance to personalize my living space. My mom, an incredibly talented artist with a knack for creating fantasy settings inspired by ancient Greece, painted something special for my brother and me. The painting showcases a teenage prince and princess, presumably siblings, engaged in a playful sparring session. Unique to her art and reflective of ancient Greek influences, the siblings are depicted without shirts, symbolizing equality and a different norm of modesty.

This artwork, filled with sentimental value, holds a place of honor in my apartment's main room. The painting not only captures her artistic skill but also represents a nod to cultural storytelling and historical norms.

However, not long ago, my grandparents and my young cousin, who's just 13, came to visit. I hadn't considered that the painting might be seen as controversial, so I didn't think to remove or cover it. Upon seeing the painting, my grandmother was outraged, labeling it as inappropriate. She expressed severe disapproval, saying it was wrong to display such an image, and even had my cousin wait outside in the car. She pressured me to hide the painting immediately.

Conflicted and taken aback by her strong reaction, I stood my ground. The tension escalated into a full-blown argument as I felt judged in my own home. Her reaction made me question if I was wrong to hang the painting so prominently without considering different perspectives on decency.

Now, imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality TV show, where every dispute and dramatic moment is magnified for entertainment. How might the viewers react to such a family quarrel over a piece of art? Would the public side with my freedom to display any art I choose in my own home, or would they agree with my grandmother's more conservative views on what is deemed appropriate? The inclusion of cameras and an audience could potentially intensify the family dynamics, turning a personal disagreement into a spectacle that challenges both personal and cultural boundaries.

What do you think - was it inappropriate for me to display such art in my home, or should personal freedom in one's living space remain unchallenged?

For the past 6 years I’ve been fighting to be noticed and seen by my family, I have 6 siblings, and that counting the half siblings on my mom AND my dad’s side. So, it was hard to get attention. It was hard to get anything, when my dad came back from prison. I was 7 or 8, and at the time me and my family were living with my grandparents (except for my mom, she left us)

So needless to say I missed him, like any child would. But, he barely payed attention to me. When I had problems he would brush them off, when my older brother was physically abusing he didn’t stop him either. Sure, they “talked” but that didn’t make it stop. Years go by…. I try and try and try to tell him that I’m depressed, that I NEED help. And you know what he does? He sits me down and helps me smoke a joint, I was 13. And when I was high out of my mind, that’s when I realized. He didn’t care, he didn’t care if my brother was hurting me. He didn’t care if I was suicidal, he didn’t give a fuck. So i stopped caring, I stopped talking. I stopped leaving my room and only talked to people online because at least THEY noticed me, I felt invisible. It’s funny, it’s not even my dad. It was EVERYONE in my family, my twin and my older sister were quiet about it all and my two younger brothers were KIDS. They didn’t know what was going on, my stepmom didn’t say much either. But everything changed when we moved to Colorado, you see. My Older brother SA my sister for years (she was 9 when it started) the reason why I know is that my dad told me. Because he thought I would be nicer too her after I heard about it, what it really did is fuck me up for 6 months. That wasn’t the only thing that happened though, he basically blamed me for “not being a good sister”

Ever since then, everything got better. I lived in a apartment with my stepmom and my sister and that was probably the best thing that could happen, my stepmom told me that she was sorry for everything and now tells my dad that it wasn’t JUST my sister who got hurt by him, my sister and I have a good relationship and my brother and I are still chill. My dad still blames me for like 75% of what my older brother did to me… idk anymore, I’m still mad that he didn’t give a fuck until my “darling” of a sister told him what happened to her. I know I’m a bad person for saying this but, I’m envious of my sister. Because she at least gets taken seriously

Ps: sorry for all of the typos I KNOW I’m gonna make

In the healthcare sector where I work, we typically enjoy a harmonious team environment. However, a challenging situation has arisen that has tested the unity of our department. One of our colleagues, who I'll refer to as Sarah, was recently diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis isn't definitive yet, but given her age and other health issues, it seems grim. While Sarah and I have never been particularly close, I've maintained professionalism and expressed my condolences regarding her illness.

Our department is known for its camaraderie, and as such, most of my coworkers have contributed their paid leave to help Sarah spend more time with her family and perhaps undergo treatment. Sarah had used up almost all her leave entitlements, which made this gesture from our team especially significant. This has left me somewhat isolated because I chose not to donate my leave. My rationale is not out of insensitivity but from a practical standpoint—I'm somewhat certain about the inevitable outcome and feel that donating my leave wouldn't extend Sarah's life but merely postpone the inevitable.

This decision has not gone unnoticed. A few team members who are close to Sarah have whispered disapproving comments, questioning my empathy toward her situation. When confronted, I've been candid about my views, believing it's better for Sarah to appreciate the remaining time with loved ones without prolonging the inevitable through my contribution. I'm not aware of her financial status, and while it may seem cold, it hasn't influenced my decision.

If this scenario were part of a reality show, the dynamics and my resultant isolation could be a focal point of an episode, likely painting me as the antagonist in the narrative. Reality TV thrives on conflict and pushing emotional buttons, so the producers might highlight my decision not to donate leave, emphasizing the backlash from colleagues to amplify drama. Strategies like confessionals or private interviews could be used to delve deeper into my reasoning, possibly gaining viewer sympathy or further criticism. The portrayal would hinge on the editing choices, potentially skewing public perception in favor of more dramatic outcomes.

How would you react if this situation was featured on a reality show? 🙃

Two years ago, I received my degree, a milestone made possible by a dedicated savings effort from my parents starting when I was very young. I'm profoundly grateful for this and have striven to honor their efforts by excelling academically and graduating on time. Comparatively, my younger cousin Lara faced some challenges and ended up leaving college last year after not passing several classes. She's now ready to re-enroll, but there's a hitch — she's already depleted much of her college fund.

Just recently, her parents, my aunt and uncle, approached me with a request. They hoped I might consider transferring the remaining balance of my college fund to help Lara with her tuition. While it's true that I have some funds left — thanks primarily to a scholarship I received in my senior year — I told them I couldn't comply with their wish. I've earmarked these funds for my graduate studies or potentially a future home purchase, and it doesn't seem fair to sacrifice these plans, especially considering the circumstances of Lara's academic struggles.

This decision didn't sit well with them. Lara insists she "needs it more" and accuses me of being selfish, pointing out that my own education was fully covered. Her parents echoed this sentiment, arguing that the money would serve Lara better than it does sitting in my account and expressed a desire to avoid student loans for her. While I empathize with the difficulties student loans can present, I feel it's important to note that I diligently worked through my college years, both academically and in planning my finances for the future. It seems unreasonable to expect me to forgo my financial security due to her earlier academic failures.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to keep what I’ve saved for myself? Imagine if this were played out on a reality show — how dramatically opinions would clash in front of cameras! Viewers would likely be split, with some criticizing my decision as selfish and others praising my foresight and financial prudence. The scenario could definitely turn into a heated debate reflecting the differing values on family support versus personal responsibility.

Overall, it's a tricky situation loaded with family expectations and the weighing of financial vs emotional investment...

I have a big family that’s incredibly close. We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great grandfather's estate and eat together. Typically, how this works is that the women go cook for the time they’re there and the men don’t, which I am fully aware is sexist as hell. That being said, I am one of the youngest people in the family and my protests mean literally nothing.

Some of those women choose not to cook; however, this is usually met with a level of ostracizing. The women who don’t cook are wives and long-term girlfriends, so they kinda already have a good family relationship established. When I have seen new partners not cook, it’s gone bad. Like completely ostracized, not speaking, cattiness, rudeness, etc.

This dinner will be in two weeks and my girlfriend was asked if she would attend. Initially, she said yes, which is great. I want for her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around, but when I explained to her the tradition, she was understandably bothered.

I told her that I understood where she was coming from; however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn’t a permanent thing and that I am only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family. This is her first impression and I don’t think it’s best if we cause waves.

She told me that it’s unacceptable and that if she has to do that, she will not be going. I’ve tried to find a compromise with her on this, but she won’t budge and she’s pissed at me. She told me that if I think it’s acceptable to make her do this, I’m just as bad as everyone else, while my point is that she needs to make a good first impression.

Imagine if this was a reality show. How do you think my family and my girlfriend's reactions would play out on TV? Would the audience side with me, understanding the family dynamics, or would they see me as a villain for pushing her into such a sexist tradition?

I have two kids with my wife. When they were young, my parents generously set up education funds for both of them.

My wife and I always expected our kids to go to college and then grad school, just like we did. I have a PhD and my wife has a master’s degree. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for their undergrad degrees and didn’t tell them about the money.

My daughter has always been into liberal arts, while my son is more of a STEM guy. We worried about her job prospects, but she insisted on studying music and film in college. She got into some top schools and chose an expensive one, but she had scholarships covering almost all tuition. Everything else, plus living expenses, was her responsibility. She lived in a tiny apartment shared with friends in a rough area far from campus, but she managed and learned to budget effectively. After graduating, she found a job she enjoys, though it doesn’t pay much, and gave up on grad school.

My son decided on engineering and also didn’t want to go to grad school. We were disappointed but accepted it since he’s lined up for a great job after school. He didn’t get as many scholarships as his sister, so we used his education fund for his tuition and living expenses. He got a large, nice apartment close to school, which is important given his demanding classes.

My daughter was confused about how he could afford this and he told her about the education fund. She called us, upset, asking why she didn’t get one. We told her she did, but we saved it hoping she’d go to grad school. She seemed hurt and asked if she could have the money now. We explained there’d be a fee to withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we did that, it would go back to her grandparents for their use. Since then, she’s been short in her texts and hasn’t answered our calls. I know it seems unfair to her, but it’s not really her money and she’s not in college anymore. Her brother got it for educational purposes only. Am I wrong?

How would people react if this situation was on a reality show? Would viewers side with my daughter or understand my perspective and the importance of using the funds as intended?

My Partner and I Disagreed About Our House Renovation Project

So my partner and I disagreed about me asking him to take time off for our house renovation project. I suggested he use some of his holiday for a garden project so we could get a big proportion of it done in one go. He said no, his holiday was his time to do what he wanted and it wasn't fair for me to ask him to use it for the house renovations as he has less holidays than me. I said maybe he could just use 1 or 2 days and he said he would not compromise on this and wanted to do the project over several weekends instead.

As I have school holidays off, I said I would not be comprising either and would be getting the work done in my holidays and not just on the weekends as I wanted it to be done sooner.

He said that was not fair as he wanted to be just as involved in the project as me and accused me of threatening to do the work without him and not respecting his choice to save his holidays for things he likes doing more. He also said I could do other projects to which I replied that I just end up doing the rubbish jobs that he doesn't want to do because I have more holidays than him.

If we were in a reality show, I wonder how people would react to this situation. Would they side with me, or would they think I'm being unreasonable? It's so easy for others to judge when they're not in the same position.

So my buddy and I came up with this idea. Well, it was mostly his idea, and he's more knowledgeable in that field than I am. But since I'm a good coder, he needed me to handle the coding part. I bought the domain, and he was supposed to create the website. I gave him the login details, but weeks went by, and the site was untouched. I thought the idea fizzled out, and we both got busy with our own stuff—he had work, and I was traveling.

Months later, I noticed the domain just sitting there. On a whim, I decided to work on the website and bring the idea to life. After months of effort, the site started gaining traction and making sales.

It now brings in a decent monthly income.

Recently, I told my buddy about it because I wanted to involve him in a campaign with a customer and maybe offer a split of the campaign profits. Now he wants to make changes to the website, adjust prices, and add his knowledge to improve it.

I'm feeling conflicted because I put in a lot of effort and went through trial and error to build the business. He argues that it was his idea and his suggestion to buy the domain, which is true.

Am I wrong for not wanting to go along with his changes?

I offered to create a new site with him where we can implement his ideas on pricing and design, but he's insistent on modifying the current site.

Now, I wonder how people would react if this were happening on a reality show. Would they see me as the bad guy, or would they understand my side of the story?

Hi everyone. I (28m) met an intriguing person (45?, I'll call them Jo) a few days ago who proposed a sugar parent (SP) relationship, with me as the sugar baby. I thought, why not, and agreed. I didn't know much about these relationships, and I still don't, so I let them take the lead.

So, Jo asked me to download a banking app. After checking it out, it seemed fine, so I set up an account. Then, Jo asked for my login and password. I'm not comfortable with that and told Jo as much. When I asked why, Jo said they wanted to use it for trade. That raised some red flags for me, and I told Jo. They explained it was meant to be a safe account for trades "off the radar." But that account had my personal details, like my SSN.

I told Jo I wasn't comfortable with that and suggested using my Venmo QR code instead. Jo said if I couldn't do this, I shouldn't worry about doing anything else. I pointed out that asking for such details is a lot, even for people who've been dating for years, let alone two people who just met. I felt their request seemed financially abusive.

Jo accused me of not knowing what trust is and said I needed to take a leap of faith. But I'm an atheist, and leaps of faith aren't my thing. I told Jo their behavior could be seen as financially abusive and that others wouldn't take it kindly. Jo ended the conversation, and now I'm not sure if I hurt Jo's feelings or caught them in a scam.

If this was on a reality show, how would people react? Would they think I was being overly cautious or see Jo's behavior as suspicious?

So, am I right for not wanting to share my banking information with Jo? Anyone with experience or general knowledge of SP relationships, please share your thoughts.