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I don't know, I don't like it when people ask about my life or what I do. It bothers me; they feel like they're meddling in very important matters, and I don't want them to. They should stick to what I can offer and stop there; I'm not obligated to explain anything. I feel like sometimes I have to, just like I have to share something in that other conversation, for no other reason than to prevent future problems. This contradiction happened to me recently, when I got chatty, giving details about my life thanks to questions—of course, all well-founded, fortunately. I feel like I did what my best friend at work does: she talks to others in a delicate way in front of me, with complete consideration for me, so I don't feel excluded, and without including herself in any group. It's something I deeply appreciate, that she doesn't want to leave but wants us to be together. Now, the question is, what has become of her? I don't know anything about her, even though we're in the same office. She's blocked me everywhere, even though we were friends, and now she's wondering where she is. This time when the office wasn't operating, at least not regularly, could have been a chance for us to go out, do things together, enjoy different things. I don't think my personal life is so dull that I can't fill that void, but that's just my assumption, and I can't open the group chat to ask her about it because of work. I also can't ask my boss to help me out.
Wow, with these people I encountered, and with whom I say I laid myself bare, the feeling of that vulnerability is somewhat uncomfortable, but it has its pleasant touch because it feels liberating. At the same time, it abruptly pulls you out of that solitude, the kind you enjoy being in. And indeed, I have to admit, it felt somewhat overwhelming. However, I think that was essentially because of what my relationship with it entailed, which had become rather heavy, rather complex, because I was dealing with things I was used to, things I couldn't distance myself from, because it wasn't necessary. But now I am, in order to truly see these people who I see have an extraordinary familiarity with what my boss and the young woman have been. I'm tired of writing so much, but this also helps me stay prepared for the upcoming meeting they announced, which is practically a mandatory gathering. It really does abruptly pull one out of a period where one had become accustomed to a certain way of life. They're annoying, and the boss is constantly putting pressure on me.
I don't feel like I need people right now; I'm not interested in them. I like my solitude as long as I can enjoy it. The thing is, it also requires a certain stability, and working under irregular conditions doesn't provide that. So, it's a balancing act between this pleasant solitude—perhaps extreme, but only due to cultural factors—and, at the same time, between the work itself and its social implications. I'm tired of operating according to the job because it's an overwhelming demand, a real burden. I have to be constantly on guard so no one catches me off guard, maintain relationships, and do my job in a way that no one can complain. It's a lot of things that make me feel that the best thing that could have happened—with all due respect to the unfortunate implications—was the tragedy in my country. That tragedy was a miracle for me because it allowed me to be exempt from work, to break free from those chains. I had been needing a break for some time, partly due to events that had occurred there, such as my moving in with my friend and my group, and my boss's departure, along with the group itself, and the continuation of the same old work routine. I was overwhelmed by what had happened and had been carrying it for a while, so this sudden vacation was a welcome relief.
I won't deny that I'd like to enjoy being with the people I met, but right now I need to embrace my solitude, to be with my thoughts and the ideas that come from them, to disconnect from all social interaction as much as possible. Thank you so much for everything, I'm very grateful, but it's time for me to move on with my life, to focus on my own things. I mean, I've already built the life I want, and I can't go any further right now. I have to look after what I've built, and it was hard work, and I can't abandon it. That's not my style. I'm the type to persevere for what I've accomplished, and it was very well done. With the young woman, I have a relationship where shyness, but not in a limiting way, is allowed—a bit of communication, even hugs. And with my boss, I've finally managed to keep things strictly professional, without him taking things any further. Basically, I'm living the life I want, and I really can't take on any more. I need this break. I'm not interested in any other relationships.
I'm completely exhausted from dealing with relationships. I don't want any more. I don't want to be involved with even one more, taking exams, or studying, because the ones I already have completely absorb me, and I don't like it. I feel like I understand a girl I knew a while ago who was in a similar situation. In fact, what happened with my best friend was the reverse of me towards her. Ironically, with this girl, who isn't my best friend, I ended up in a pleasant, everyday relationship, with me in control of the reactions, while my best friend was always in control. This girl somehow became entangled in a relationship she had, where she was controlled by someone, someone she had to answer to, and all that. It's similar to what I went through with my boss, which simply consisted of being there for work. I'm sure the girl was just there to serve that relationship, because with me, that kind of thing completely disappeared. Well, actually, she doesn't speak to me anymore, but it's not a total impasse. In my opinion, now that I think about it, it was the other way around: I have the same kind of relationship with my best friend that she has with her boyfriend, and I have the same kind of relationship with my boss that she has with me. However, thinking about it now, I think that's silly; it's the other combination.
One thing that led me to do what my best friend did, to put us in a group, was wanting to know what that girl, who isn't my best friend, felt. I feel like that's what motivated me. Also, I felt trapped by my boss, who was pushing me further whenever he could, taking advantage of my image, which I could have built by defending my principles elsewhere. However, I always managed to defend myself. He planned to sow doubt in me, to keep me at his mercy; that was his plan, his lust for power. But I didn't allow it. Instead, with my best friend's help, I managed to completely shatter his image, to the point where work is now the only thing on my mind. I think that's what the girl would have wanted with a relationship, or at least something purely casual, and instead, with me, she's someone to answer to, of course, under a convenient arrangement for both of us. But the truth is, she only sees me as the one who wanted to support her and didn't abandon her, and still hasn't, and who's there for her whenever she needs him. That's definitely not the story that happened to me, because I did something. I knew how to move all the pieces to get rid of my boss. She couldn't do that. I wasn't going to stay at his mercy, definitely not. He wasn't going to have me, especially not with someone who was always running from everything and doing whatever he wanted. And boy, was he constantly trying to fit in somehow, all to maintain his image, because anything he did outside could call into question his ability to make choices. Now I see why I left him, and anyone in my shoes would have done the same.
The guy was really nice, but he was definitely playing me, and that scares me. (I made a post a while ago, but the character limit wasn't the same as usual, which is strange.) I don't feel comfortable with him. I don't see a happy future with him in that sense because he was too careful with those details, way too much, and it felt like our relationship was very forced. That's why I don't like him. I don't feel capable of saying no; I just want to be led by his guidance, and I'm tired of being led, especially not on the streets. He thinks I'm a good fit for him, of course, there's that interaction, but I don't want to be involved in that; it's not my style. I also don't want to be part of another group, a family group I ended up in. I'm not interested. The woman was very kind to me, but no. Both she and the other person were kind enough to let me be free, but I'm not interested in going any further. I don't feel like I want to be part of other groups because I have enough with the one I have now, a friend I met at work, my best friend. I have the protection I need and I can navigate my solitude as I please. These other people offer pleasant company and coordinated contact, but it's not what I'm looking for. I like how I am, finding solace in my solitude and allowing spontaneity to be what unites us, what enables our encounters. I want to feel as prepared as possible for each one. With the others, however, I find myself in a comfort zone, and I don't like it. I don't feel capable of doing everything possible to remain reflective, to remain at the mercy of the various pressures that our relationship entails, pressures that allow me to be prepared for diversity. In other words, I love that individuality is a driving force, although I won't deny that as a result, I've felt a strong urge to flee back to normality, to the usual routine. But that's not what's right for me right now, it's not what I want, it's not what makes me reflective. But the encounters themselves do.
I'm grateful that the groups I've been in have been perfect for me—pleasant, friendly, and with the option to return whenever I want, without feeling threatened or anything like that. But I feel good as I am; I enjoy the life I've built, and I definitely don't need to run away from it. That lady, she was very kind to her family, with a warm welcome, a gradual, cautious, and open approach. In contrast, my friend is rather closed off, decisive, pompous with her surroundings, and focused on immediate gratification. It's not easy because there's no support from her environment, not at all. In fact, with my boss, there's absolutely no support from his inner circle for his actions. On the other hand, with the young man, there is support from his circle; everything's cool, everything's fine. But I don't want to be dependent on his environment. I don't want an environment that supports me or that supports them; I want independence from it. I want to create my own environments, not live off something pre-made, as is the case with them. For some reason, I'm afraid that speaking ill of them will cause me problems, that it will make them afraid that I'm on my own. And that's precisely why I decided to act in a way that closes the relationship, addressing those things that do happen, but it's just a temporary thing, not something significant, because I always need to reflect. That's what I like; that's what helps me with the career I envision.
These people turned out to be open, pleasant, and very kind, with an extraordinary and well-deserved openness. But the relationships I've built have come at the cost of hard work, step by step, and that's what keeps me moving forward—not to run away, but to preserve what I have. And in part, I admit, these other people don't want to leave either, to have someone else in their lives. They accept the effort, but it turns out they already have many things to do; they're already used to it, indeed tired, but it's only a temporary situation. It was nice to meet people like me, but no longer alone, but active in the world, within an environment, within a life built on social standards. In other words, there was a way to be myself in those labyrinths. However, there's always the restriction, and that's what justifies me continuing as always: embracing solitude, which doesn't impose reins, doesn't weigh me down, and only to the point where it maintains a great deal of limitation. In both people, I found excesses in the very aspects I adore: the social and the reflective, the individual, well-supported. Yet, I still found them constrained, and that makes me feel limited by them. Their stage is as delicate, in the long run, as that of other people I compare them to—I already mentioned my best friend at the office, but there's also my boss—regarding that openness, which I've always wanted, and the respectful openness that embraces it, that's in tune with the times and in accordance with his way of doing things.
My idea in the world isn't to seek out opposites.
My goal in life isn't to run away from what I have, but rather to appreciate it, and these people have allowed me to do just that. In the end, they helped fill the void left by both my boss and the girl. However, it's not something to take any further, because, let's face it, something perfect at first is hard to maintain, especially in circumstances free from pressure. When pressure arises, you see the same old thing again. They were undoubtedly very attractive, but it's not something to get carried away with at first.
Well, I've been writing for quite some time now, and I'm getting tired of the same old thing. My encounter with these people was perfectly timed; it just so happened that I had finished making my final notes regarding the story that had unfolded between my boss and the girl, my best friend. I hadn't delved into such insights, but this was my opportunity to do so, precisely what I was looking for: a kind of social commentary that would allow me to see what happened with these people from a possible outside perspective, from another window. Before, I relied solely on writings of a still generic, technical nature, without using everyday language. I went straight to the details and not the generalities, and that's what I have now. How tiring! And yet, I feel I can go back to my usual place and nothing will happen to me. I feel safe, without that emotional issue, without that fear that something might happen, which I have to admit I experience with the girl and my boss—that is, at the office. Everything happens at the office; I'm constantly on edge when they're both there. They make me incredibly nervous, and I don't like it. Even if the girl isn't there, the question is when she'll be back, and that's a problem. This is what makes me long for a better world, to seek other people who can give me a break, but that's impossible. That's why I need this distance, because otherwise I'll fall into the trap of abuse, out of habit, and these people will probably leave me, but then conflict will arise.
I never imagined I'd express this level of stress because of them. It's too much, and it's what makes me want to run out of the office, to be unfaithful, because none of them do anything at all to be with me, while these other people do. I'm the one carrying the weight of everything, maintaining harmony, so I don't fall apart. Both my boss and the woman help out, but it's a small thing. The chance for dialogue is nonexistent; I always have to rely on them, not the other way around. I feel overwhelmed, and no one seems to notice, and expressing it would only bring me more problems. The sensitivity of these two people is extraordinary. Of course, we went through a process where everything changed, but they don't take responsibility for that; instead, I'm the one who has to carry the burden. That's what has kept me away from the office all this time—to give myself a break, a rest that goes unacknowledged, because no one sees what I had to do to avoid succumbing to either of them.
I betrayed my boss because he betrayed me. He looked after his own image, not mine. I was going to be relegated to the office of an outcast, someone no one could do anything about, and I couldn't allow that. The resulting repercussions were going to be overwhelming, given how much I was being sidelined, and that's what prompted me to take action. It all started when a girl blocked me, something she hadn't done with the rest of the group, effectively excluding me and making me feel completely excluded, as if I weren't part of her life, as if I were different from everyone else, and that infuriated me. I told my boss, but he did nothing about it, and I had to intervene because I knew she would be able to tell others about it and cause further repercussions. I told other authorities, but they did absolutely nothing; in fact, they tried to stay as far away as possible.
I was very worried about the social repercussions, especially the fact that the girl might take advantage of the situation to pull tricks in her pursuit of a modicum of equality. My boss and his secretary made it seem like I had to be the strong one, that I shouldn't let her get away with it, leaving me completely helpless to the point where they pressured me into seeing a psychiatrist, accusing me of being weak and therefore potentially facing social repercussions. The issue was clear: I had to take action and be there for her. She could do whatever she wanted, however she pleased, but no one was going to do anything. Well, having said that, I understand that something was being done, and it was to make her look bad, to the point of trying to get her fired as soon as the first incident occurred. However, that wasn't the real plan, because it all started when I began talking to her, of course, after she had already started talking to me in person. My relationship with her was virtual. I couldn't just leave her helpless, nor could I turn a blind eye, especially since the girl and I were discussing the possibility of forming a group. In this sense, my boss tried to impose his will, using orders as a defense for me in any situation and running away, trying to avoid saying anything, hoping that what happened between the girl and me wouldn't come to light after the conflict.
He tried every possible way to obstruct us, to make her look bad, crazy, even to instruct me in violence, also because after the conflict and under the resulting blockade, she would be at a complete disadvantage, especially since she doesn't like to back down from her decisions, and even more so when it involves something that might make others doubt her. However, I didn't allow it. I played the victim, to completely undermine him, to make him look out of place. The boss demanded a deal with her to avoid causing them more problems, when it was my problem. He made threats about toys, which I silenced with real threats. He wanted to prevent me from associating with her at all costs, because if I did, it would reveal a situation of rejection within his group. The doubt about whether it existed would be taken as certainty, something that went against my principles. He was acting like a hero at first, but of course, there had to be some benefit to it. Quite rightly, they told me I was exaggerating, and I was, but that was living in my own world, something they could never penetrate.
My boss was a complete scoundrel. When I achieved my goal, they tried everything to undermine my image, to suggest that I was taking advantage of the situation, that I was being narcissistic, for having denounced him, for having exposed his efforts to keep me the way he wanted me, and also for hurting the girl. However, this didn't go unpunished for him at all. First, there was the matter with the authorities, the complaint, and then there was another complaint, this time made public, more than justifying what I had told the authorities. They definitely made things worse for themselves.
There was a guy yesterday who caught my attention. He kept making comments that were trying to influence my way of doing things, to make me believe things, but in the end, he turned out to be like some kind of inner circle, with sacred secrets that he didn't want to be revealed. I wasn't going to be around someone like that. With every comment he made, I felt trapped, taking advantage of the friendly image we were projecting in public, and it was something I didn't like. I was playing along, always trying to distance myself, but he just kept getting more and more entrenched and wouldn't budge. More or less, that was my boss's way of doing things, at all costs. With me, of course, he operated based on his own principles. For example, we were talking about being out on the street, sharing intimate things. He was, and still is, an excellent person, but I just don't like to keep that kind of intimacy with others.
It resulted in a vague exchange of information, and it's not the kind of conversation I want to have, at least not occasionally. It was clear the guy had the best intentions and that his relationship wouldn't go any further. However, the problem is that in the long run, I was going to hold onto things that would cloud the relationship because I didn't agree with his methods; they're not my style. Surely, for someone else, it might be the same. And I understand him; being selective based on well-verified evidence is something one appreciates, and he was consistent throughout.
That wasn't the case with my boss, who acted based on nothing, on his own imagination, on his own world with me, trying to completely overstep the bounds of the context, the tone of the conversation, trying to go too far when there wasn't that friendly tone, when the context wasn't appropriate for them. He was completely out of place in the office; he was, and is, someone just trying to survive there. No matter how much the top boss talks about attending, about doing something about it, if she doesn't say so herself, I don't believe my boss at all. He uses anything and everything, emotional manipulation, to get things done; it's not prudent. This guy, well, he was reciprocal, it was hard for him, but he was. I confess he's not the type of person to force things, to always be in that state of anxiety, because it also depends on circumstances. So, getting close to him results in a comfort zone that will be hard to maintain at all costs. I'm definitely grateful to have met him and to have seen him from the start, with that mindset, and somehow I felt we were heading towards a point of convergence, but it's not the right time yet, and I don't know why. I have the feeling that he's capable of seeing it, which isn't the case with my boss, from whom I have no expectations, no reflections whatsoever. Instead, he seeks to persevere, moving in his own direction to then surprise you, which he calls convincing you. He's a manipulative person who tries to shift blame for things that aren't the proper way to act with others in an office, for God's sake. That kind of acting like you're not in the office is something I can't stand. This young man, on the other hand, was aware that he was out in the field, despite our differing, even opposing, principles. He was aware of the context in which he operated, and he wasn't abusive. He earned trust through sheer determination. My boss, however, didn't operate accordingly. In fact, I can feel that I wasn't obligated to be around this young man. I'd even say that he's already looking forward to getting rid of this whole mess with people. Like me, he wants to achieve something organized, but definitely not imposed, because things will eventually explode, and pretending otherwise is just wishful thinking—something my boss, for God's sake, definitely operates on.
That young man certainly has leadership qualities and is aware that he's not a big deal. He displays a pleasant caution, taking things slowly and allowing others to speak. However, my boss is completely out of control. I definitely found myself in the opposite situation to my boss.
I feel like he's a good friend, but I feel like he's lacking something to be with me. We struggle to connect, and although it's exciting, I'm not one to stay in my comfort zone with someone. It becomes addictive in a way, which isn't what I'm looking for in a person, and in fact, that's how my relationships are structured. I feel like he's the one who does all the thinking and reflection; it's me and only me. And doing that with someone else, well, the experience itself might be casual and fun, but it's a recipe for conflict. Because it's about pretending we can handle all the differences, about pretending we can maintain our comfort zone, about maintaining those spaces where we don't talk about things, and that's not what I'm looking for, that's not what interests me. I'm interested in something that leads me to reflection, and a comfort zone prevents that. I feel like I'm preparing to defend myself against the subject, and the subject is doing the same, in order to safeguard each profile, and that's not the idea. Hence, the issue is purely occasional, and at the same time, it helps me understand why the relationship tends to become conflictive, or at least establish points of conflict, or enemies, and things like that. In a way, I feel like we operate based on hatred of others and, in part, of ourselves because we're always on the outside, given our reflections, and that's not the idea. Rather, I aspire for the issue not to be primarily about that, but something occasional. I can do that with an AI that is inherently neutral, but it generates emotions, and the idea of a relationship, it seems to me, is that it serves as a calming influence, without encroaching on the space.
The gentleman very kindly gave me his number, helped me get food, and made me feel very comfortable. He truly made the moment pleasant, very appreciative, completely empathetic, and thoughtful. But I feel that being with him means one person leading while the other contributes, and that's not the idea, or rather, it should be the other way around. I also admit that I feel bad saying no to him, so there's a sense of conflict all around, somehow. And this gentleman certainly has things to do; he has a life, just like I do. These attempts at being pleasant, which partly stem from this search for growth, but based on one language and mine on another, and also from embracing a life where the world can be a certain way. Indeed, it's an embrace of diversity, but points of friction are already apparent. I don't feel comfortable in this relationship. I can't find a way to clash with him, I can't find anything that would make me move. Indeed, there will be encouragement for certain behaviors and rejection of others; there will be radical boundaries, but the attraction itself, based on that anger of being us, is present. I don't see the point in maintaining this in something like the street; it's a different story if it were in a closed space, which is where I have to take action.
I confess that I'm distancing myself, as well as from another relationship, because I'm already with someone like this, someone we're attracted to because of these opposing principles. It's just that in her case, it's due to socialization. Apparently, opposing principles can be expressed in different ways, depending on the context, as I'll explain. I feel that this girl, I admit it, has me completely absorbed, and I don't want to leave, under any circumstances, for fear of what might happen if I'm not with her, for fear that the world will take advantage of my difference, which isn't imposing, while hers is. No one can defend me in the street for being different, but she can. With her, I feel safe, completely, and also have the chance to continue dissolving, in total freedom. So, leaving the group just like that, betraying her by joining another group, is something I can't do. I feel that I love her, too; in fact, you could say we love each other. I can't leave her because I'm not going to find someone like her out there, I'm unlikely to. I would like to feel free to leave, but I can't. My difference isn't recognized, but hers is; it's a matter of luck. She can go to any office and nothing happens to her, while I always have to be on guard. I wish this weren't my reality, but it is: I'm in a society that seeks to dominate difference when it can't defend itself, as has been the case with all forms of diversity throughout history.
She's my best friend because she's the only one who can defend me, the only one capable, in the midst of everything, of doing whatever she wants, and that's partly true. I wish reality were different, but no group offers me that kind of empathy, because more than anyone, she knows what it's like to be outside the norm and to be kicked around for it. She knows how to navigate this aggressive world, at least in this country; I'm not allowed to, there's no encouragement for it.
I feel like I love her, because I have no other choice. I feel like I value her immensely because I have no other choice. I feel like I can't explore other worlds, as my adventurous spirit desires, because I'm not allowed to be coerced like she is. I'm always on edge, worried someone will make a comment, but that doesn't happen with her. That eagerness to say whatever she wants, after careful consideration, is unique to her. I was in that situation and decided to leave, and what a grave mistake it was. Being open to life, while beneficial to many, ultimately shattered it into a thousand pieces. Because she's closed off, she has the upper hand. I never want to feel like that again, especially not with someone who, in essence, doesn't allow me to exercise my freedom as I want, as she allows me to. I had no choice but to give in to her. She knows how to manipulate things in a way that makes you feel different, and no one can do anything about it. That's why I betrayed my boss at the office, radically, with a completely ruthless spirit, knowing that his issue was something else entirely, in support of me, in retaliation for her going her own way. The reactions were of the same magnitude, however, what my boss did wasn't enough. She managed to make me feel different and therefore excluded; it was a pressure I couldn't bear. My boss didn't take it into account and never would, initially because he himself denied me the very thing that would have been communication, that would have compensated for everything, that would have stopped her from making me feel cast aside. He was her main collaborator, even if it wasn't his intention, but rather he collaborated with her, making me feel marginalized, broken, and powerless. That's why I reacted in order to make him do it that way, so that he would have no choice but to give in to the environment, because for my part I felt that I was already giving in, because I had nothing more to say.
I also find that guy rather possessive, very perfectionistic, he sees too many things, way too many. It's a paradise that won't last. Indeed, this young woman knew how to navigate the situation, radically, she knew how to play her cards right. She created conflict between my boss and me, and she came out on top dramatically. Of course, it so happened that my boss didn't rely on the established work structure, while she did, and that's why I chose her. In times of crisis, there's no time for support that isn't external to the structure, for being at the mercy of what might be said about one's image, for simply using it for its sake. Because of this selfishness, I decided that my boss definitely wasn't going to abandon me, as had happened in the past, and this is what has led me to lose all empathy for him, to the point of only looking out for the structure and nothing else. Because with him, when it comes down to it, he's the only one who matters, even though the structure allows for some flexibility. That's why he was able to denounce his own behavior, that he was acting in isolation from his surroundings.
i remember reading an article which stated that life is a series of choices, and i found it resonates with my situation. my husband and i have been married for twenty years; we share a home and family but our life isn't as picture-perfect as one might think. his aggressive behavior escalates at times, leading to physical confrontations that leave me emotionally and physically drained. unfortunately, our two children are witnesses to these distressing episodes, and i feel guilty that they must endure it too. i'm weighing whether this relationship can be salvaged or if it's best to separate for everyone's well-being.
i've sought professional assistance from various resources on domestic violence intervention strategies and conflict resolution techniques. while some methods have proven beneficial in mediating disputes temporarily or providing clarity on certain topics, there's still an underlying friction that seems insurmountable. the challenge here lies in evaluating the effectiveness of therapy sessions versus living separately without allowing resentments to fester further.
well-known psychologist once said: 'Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow'; which captures the essence of how deeply intertwined relationships impact personal growth both positively and negatively over time... The uncertainty surrounding whether such complexities should prompt immediate action remains prevalent but simultaneously overwhelms me considering potential ramifications upon everyone involved 🤔 My heart leans towards optimism hoping changes can transpire through continued communication yet realistic understanding necessitates acknowledgment when enough has been tried.
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I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.
Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.
I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.
Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.
My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.
This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?
Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.
If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.
I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.
Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.
It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.
Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.
To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.
So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.
For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.
Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?
I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.
I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.
Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.
I never thought I’d end up here, but here I am, dreading every single morning when my alarm goes off. I hate my job. There, I said it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just a phase, that everyone feels like this sometimes, but it’s been almost a year, and nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
The work itself isn’t even that bad. I mean, it’s not what I’m passionate about, but it’s tolerable. The real problem is the people. My boss is one of those micro-managers who has to be involved in every tiny detail. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’ll spend hours on a project, only for them to nitpick and make me redo the whole thing for no real reason. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like all my effort is pointless.
Then there’s the office culture—or lack of it. Nobody talks to each other unless it’s about work. Lunch breaks feel like detention, with everyone silently eating at their desks or scrolling through their phones. I tried to make friends when I first started, but everyone already seemed to have their little cliques. After a while, I just gave up.
What really gets to me, though, is the constant pressure. It’s like they expect us to give 110% all the time, but they don’t give anything back. Overtime is practically mandatory, but don’t expect a “thank you” or even acknowledgment for staying late. And forget about a raise or promotion—that’s a pipe dream. It’s hard not to feel bitter when you’re working so hard and getting nothing in return.
I keep telling myself I should just quit, but it’s not that simple. I’ve got bills to pay, and the job market isn’t exactly booming right now. Plus, there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps asking, “What if the next job is just as bad—or worse?” It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where I hate my job, but I’m too scared to leave.
Even at home, I can’t seem to escape it. I’m constantly checking emails or stressing about the next deadline. It’s like my job has taken over my entire life, and I don’t know how to take it back. My family keeps telling me to just hang in there, but they don’t understand how draining it is. By the end of the day, I’m too tired to even think about applying for other jobs, let alone pursuing something I actually enjoy.
Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. Or maybe I’m being ungrateful because at least I have a job. But then I think about how miserable I am, and I can’t help but feel like there has to be more to life than this. Doesn’t there?
If anyone else feels this way, I’d love to know how you’re coping—or if you’ve managed to get out, how did you do it? Right now, I just feel stuck, and honestly, it’s hard to see a way forward. All I know is, I can’t keep living like this. Something’s gotta give.
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