Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

I just an account of females in my husband IG. I just thought to myself If I kept single over all the years I wont be this i secure or bothered. My doctor is right when she told me to keep myself single until I haven't resolved my trauma.

As a nice treat fro myself I've managed to save enough up to reapir and repaint my wheels as they had been beaten by previous owner, 2 days after got all wheel finally done and doing it all my self and money spent on the sanding and painting of the rims and new tyres. I drove down a tight street and trying to avoid another person ended up slowly scraping the curb, so now one of my brand new wheels which I managed to just save up for it ones again scuffed

I’m 41, a woman, married for a long time, and last week I cheated on my husband!! I’m writing this here because it’s anonymous and because I don’t know where else to put it!!! I keep replaying it like it was something that happened to someone else, like a bad scene in a show I didn’t mean to watch?? People talk about “midlife crises” like it’s a punchline, or they say stuff like “women my age just want to feel seen,” and I nod along even though none of that explains anything to me!!! I wasn’t unhappy in any dramatic way, nothing was on fire, nothing was missing in some obvious checklist sense!! We have routines, we have history, we have a shared calendar, a shared mortgage, shared jokes that aren’t funny anymore but still comforting!!! And then I stepped outside of all that for one night and now I’m here, typing, wondering how someone can act so out of character without realizing it until after?? Is that how it always happens, or is this just me rationalizing?? I don’t feel proud, I don’t feel thrilled, I don’t even feel especially guilty in the movie-version way people describe, I mostly feel confused and flat and observant of myself like a case study!!

I keep asking myself why, like there’s supposed to be a neat answer hiding somewhere!! Was it boredom?? Validation?? Opportunity?? I’ve read posts where people say “it just happened,” which sounds fake until you’re the one saying it out loud!!! I don’t recognize the version of me who said yes so easily, who didn’t stop to think about consequences in the way I usually do, who didn’t imagine my husband’s face or our life or the logistics of betrayal?? The weird part is how normal everything looked from the outside, I went to work, I made dinner, I laughed at something dumb on TV, and no one noticed anything different!!! There’s a quote I keep thinking about, something like “we are not who we think we are, we are who we do,” and that feels uncomfortably accurate right now!! I’m not spiraling, I’m not planning to blow up my life, I’m just sitting with the fact that I did something I always said I wouldn’t!! How do you reconcile that without rewriting your entire identity?? How do you look at yourself in the mirror and decide which version counts??

I’m not here to ask for advice exactly, and I’m not looking for absolution or punishment either!! I just needed to say it somewhere that doesn’t immediately demand a lesson or a takeaway!!! There’s this pressure online to turn everything into growth or trauma or empowerment, and honestly I don’t know what this is yet!! One sentence I keep coming back to is this; I don’t recognize myself. I’ve seen people say “everyone is capable of anything under the right circumstances,” and that scares me more than it comforts me!!! If you’ve ever done something that didn’t match your self-image, how did you hold both truths at the same time?? Did you eventually feel like yourself again, or did you accept that the old version was never that solid to begin with?? I’m asking genuinely, not dramatically, because right now I’m just a 41-year-old woman observing the aftermath of a choice and trying to stay objective about it!!! Maybe this is just a moment, maybe it’s a crack, maybe it’s nothing at all!!! I don’t know, and that not-knowing is the part that makes me feel like a stranger to myself, does that make sense??

my partner and i have been together for a couple of months now. he and i both have BPD aka Borderline Personality Disorder.

today, i found out that he claimed one of his friends as his FP or Favorite Person. i know this friend, i talk to them sometimes but as far as i was aware, this friend isn't that close with my partner since they just met recently. but somehow, they became his FP.

there's nothing wrong with it because i understand that you can't control when these things happen, but i guess it's just making me upset since i'm his partner and it feels weird knowing that i am not his FP, despite having known him for longer + we're literally together.

i don't know if i'm overreacting or not. i've already communicated with him about how i want to be put first sometimes, because usually it's me reaching out or it's me starting a conversation or me planning dates and stuff. but he hasn't done anything at all even after promising he'd try to change this. i'm even overthinking about how he might be cheating on me with this friend.

anybody out there with bpd or a similar disorder, can you give me some advice? should i break i off or should i try to talk with him more?

So just for a background on me so it isn’t confusing.

I’m 19F and I’ve been homeschooled since I was in grade 3 till grade 8 so I had no experience with friends. I also have a anxiety disorder and really bad social anxiety

Anywayyyyyy—

To my story.

So I have this friend I’ll call D. Me and him have been friends for over 6 months now. We’re pretty close, hang out atleast once a week, tell each other everything and anything. It’s awesome. Truly.

But I feel like I’m too much. Maybe it’s just my anxiety. Maybe not. That’s why I’m here.

When I make friends I’m pretty quiet and just anxious any little thing I do is gonna make them upset. But once I get comfortable I get abit hyper and sometimes don’t really think about what I say until after the fact.

Like once we were making jokes at a clothing store, I joked about something he’d said the day before and he got really quiet for a few minutes before going back to normal.

I have had alot of friends just up and start ignoring me just cause they can or I become to much I don’t really know cause everyone just says I’m fine.

But it’s gotta be me. Three different people who were in my friend group for over three years don’t just up and leave cause they can.

And I’m scared. Cause I really like D. He’s been my first real friend I’ve had in a long time and I don’t wanna go back to being alone and friendless cause I’m an idiot.

Kinda just ranting at this point but hey that’s what this is for.

I’ll give acouple examples so I’m not asking people to blindly judge me. 😅

1.

Me and D were at a friend of ours house that were not to close with. We got talking about D and his sexuality (which he’s very openly gay) we weren’t being offensive or anything. I made a joke about his crush he had, not insulting just joking about his type (which he’s very openly does to me all the time) and he got really quiet for afew minutes.

2.

I was tutoring a kid of my coworkers and he asked me to call D (he knows him and his mom) I did and we got joking about a funny picture I have of D. He knows I have it, he finds it funny to and even encouraged me to show our close friends. He has funny pictures of me and I allow him to joke about them to. The kid brought up the picture I showed him and his mom and D got really quiet for afew minutes and then went back to normal.

Am I over sharing? Am I being too much? Should I quiet down? Just need some suggestions.

Thanks 🙏

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.