Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

TW: talk of suicide and sh

I have felt suicidal since I was 7 years old, im now nearly 15 and am just done, ppl keep telling me to kms and its getting to my head .

hey y'all, is it just me or does anyone else think we all need like a happiness jar in our crib? i mean, hear me out here - my family is rolling in dough, like seriously; we've got everything a person could want, but there's this weird vibe lingering in the air, like we're missing the secret ingredient to life; you know what i'm saying? it's like those jars folks keep on their kitchen counters for spare change, except i'm thinking, why not fill it with little chunks of happiness instead; moments of joy, laughter, and peace that we stash away and then, when it's one of those gloomy days, we just pull out a piece and remind ourselves that life's not that bad, kinda like a happiness piggy bank, if you will; but it's a bit baffling, don't you think? 'cause money can't buy happiness, right? like, how many trips to exotic islands... or fancy dinners do you need before it's just meh; i mean, did oprah say it best, "the thing you fear most has no power" - maybe it's not fear but the lack of genuine happiness we should fear, ya feel me? but then again, i'm no philosopher, just an average joe laying it down; it's crazy how people always say they envy the wealthy, but could we be the ones truly envious? because despite the stacks of cash, we're like happiness bankrupt, it's wild; maybe what we need is a reality check or a happiness savings account that actually pays interest in smiles and memories; have you noticed, sometimes folks living the simplest lives are the ones with the brightest smiles? so why is that, i wonder – readers, drop your thoughts in the comments or whatever; my crib's filled with all these material things and we throw these big parties, hosted right here in my fancy pad, and smile at each other, but behind closed doors, it's crickets, just dead silence; think on that for a minute; doesn't that resonate or is it just me? or have we been chasing the wrong dream all along, led astray by society's definition of "success"? i mean, if shakespeare were around, would he scribe, "to be rich or to be happy, that is the question"? perhaps what's really golden isn't gold at all but the small, sparkling moments we often overlook, fading into the cracks of our daily grind; so maybe this happiness jar idea ain't too crazy after all; imagine tracking all those moments on little slips of paper and filling up a jar with them, wouldn't that be something special to look back on?; so tell me, if you could fill a jar with happiness, what would you put in it? just a thought i've been playing with, nothing serious; anyhow, thanks for letting me unload this brain-jumble, it's been swirling around in my head like a whirlwind and i thought maybe putting it down would help make sense of it all or at least give me a chuckle ; cheers and peace ✌️.

Tw grooming and suicide

I (15 almost 16) am in a perpetual self imposed hell. my abuser (20 almost 21) showed back up after months of completely abandoning me and you know, I thought that would make me feel better because wow. They kept their promise, they didn’t lie and leave me with this gaping hole in my chest. not really. The months they left were hell, my intrusive thoughts about being groomed quite literally crippled me to the point I commit suicide, got landed in the psychward for a while, and could not return to a normal headspace. I don’t know if i can say it’s worse but it’s not better, well that’s a lie. It’s better in the sense that I feel more normal to know they’re around, suddenly overwhelming intensity of the intrusive thoughts are gone. There’s the illusion that im okay. But now im even more dependent on them than before, while they were away I decided if I got a second chance I would do or give anything to keep them, to the point I’d ditch all my friends and family if they decided they actually loved me again. Currently, as further proof of how serious I am im cheating on my partner (15) for them, and I know I should give my all to someone who actually cares about me, I truly don’t deserve my partner but it feels fundamentally wrong to date anyone who isn’t hurting me. Maybe im just not meant for it. I’m planning to break up with my partner soon because I don’t want to betray them further while parasitically zapping all of their goodwill, but I can’t tell what the right way to do it is. I’m selfishly holding on.

It hurts me so much that I let you do all that shit to me and yet i still feel so disposable to you . Maybe thats how I’ll make my partner feel if they find out about all this shit, and then I’ll really be like my abuser. Am I not doing enough? I try to be interesting and suck up to your every whim, im different than when you left me. im entirely devoted to you, I try to give you space even though it feels like death. Maybe I should be more grateful you’re giving me the time of day at all. Be that 1-3 messages on average. Since we’re both a mistake of human beings this should suffice. Still, everytime you’re cold or short with me I feel so worthless I could genuinely die, I want to. I know you’re tired, I know you’re depressed and can’t talk much but everytime you take hours to respond to me at all I feel like falling deeper into this shitty cycle of shitty people and I know damn well there’s no way I can live a normal life again after this, and I can’t help but doubt the fact that you love me at all. If you leave me I know I’ll have to kill myself, cuz then there’ll be nothing else left to stop my intrusive thoughts from torturing me. I’m so disgustingly miserable it’s insane.

So boom, got a boyfriend, very in love with me, missing me, texting everyday, great intimate moments, sweet all rounded guy. Tho lately, these past couple of days, he's been distant. Then he told me he's bipolar, like diagnosed. Now I was questioning, did he get with me out of mania? I was searching online about people with bipolar and things like "they could cheat or break up with you during an episode" or "they say certain things that aren't logical and you just need to go along with it" and " you can try your best to support but you can't love bipolar away, if you do, your words will go in one ear and out the other, if you're with someone who has bipolar then you'll likely need a therapist" and scary shit like "the disorder will get worse and worse, if they don't take care of it, it will mess with the brain, death."

Then I was like okay, I know he has this, it's okay that he's distant but I was still worried. It hurts but it was also apart of the relationship. I think I'm a very justice-oriented person, hard for me to leave hurt people alone to fend for themselves. I was pouring the best I could into him with support and care, but it all seems kinda useless as sometimes he didn't respond or gave a bit of a dry response which caused me to overthink, like if I did something wrong. That's not all of who he is tho, he's a very great guy, I wanna say the greatest guy I know (I have a past with bad men in general whether family or guys online.) I will add I'm 18 and he's a year older.

Currently? Idk why but he unfriended me and unfollowed me on two separate apps. He didn't say anything, the last thing he said to me was that I was handsome and other kind stuff. Obviously, I've been pretty sad, he really healed me and I loved him, even tho I didn't really realize it because it's not like it's been that long. Tho I'm left wondering, could it be the depressive episode he's in? I searched online and saw stuff like "bipolar ghosting or how interacting can just be exhausting for them." Did he stabilize and realize he didn't wanna be with me and regret everything?

Ughh why did he have to do it so close to Valentine's day, this is embarrassing for me to get dumped like this if that's even the case.

I'm really alone again, he really did make me happy. It's a different type of happiness, like wow I have someone to do things with and we enjoy each other's company.

I also just feel like my family hates me, they didn't say anything and I didn't do anything but I feel like I would be better off gone. It doesn't help that I still have this ugly hairstyle on my head, everyone is telling me to wait it out. Times like this, I wanna do something drastic and impulsive, killing myself would be the most but I'll try to do something more tame. I don't really see anything improving and even if I tried, it wouldn't help as I see this far. I haven't been this close to killing myself, usually it's just passively but now I feel I could actually do it, my next step is figuring out how and writing a letter. Since I'll be doing this, I'll do some impulsive decisions before. I do kinda wanna wait and kill myself at 20 as I feel emotions would hit the most but that's too long. I think I'll probably just be dedicating this year to planning ways to get off this planet. People don't take suicidal people seriously until they're dead anyways so it will allow me to stop whining and just skip to the part where people suddenly care. Don't get me wrong, I try to take care of myself, working out, having hobbies, trying to get out there, putting myself out there, brushing my teeth, showering but none of that can get rid of my mental illness, it seems to be getting worse and just coming back again am again for however long, from either a few days or weeks or hours. I don't expect people here to know how to help me as I know it's a complex and hard problem that I probably should be in a psych ward for. This is just kinda my letter.

Thank you for anyone who reads all this 🩷🖤 Happy Valentine's Day! Remember that this is a day for love of any kind, not just romantic. c:

Being 31 sucks, man. Three months ago, I found myself on the ass-end of a layoff. My company had the nerve to tell me it was all 'cause of AI. Seriously? It's way more convenient to pin it on some sexy-tech revolution to pacify the stakeholders than to admit they just don't give a damn about those who actually bust their chops on the ground. Does anybody else sense this BS?

I've been scouring for jobs, pounding the pavement, and combing through job sites till my eyeballs gave out. Three months have gone by, and voilà—zilch, nada, nothing! Every "We regret to inform you" email slices deeper. Somehow that whole "dream big, you can achieve anything" mantra outran its welcome when all the job openings want people with no life, endless patience, and a unicorn-level of expertise. Are any of these hiring managers in touch with reality?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Each day is like re-living the Groundhog Day loop but without Bill Murray's charm. People say, "You just gotta keep plugging away," but when you've got rent gnawing at your heels and the radio's blurting out how AI's making sectors disappear, you start to think, "Why's this brick wall so damn peaceful?" Alan Watts once said, "The meaning of life is just to be alive." Right now, that's easier said than done. Who even has time to listen to that anymore?

It feels like drowning, frankly. It's not like I'm new to challenges, but fighting for a mere slice of the pie when it's been swiped out by non-human hands feels like some bad plot twist. You'd think there's a magic portal out of this numb-nuts existence, but no. All I want is to stop feeling like a hamster in a wheel, spinning with nowhere to get off. Does anyone out there get it? Or is existential crisis just a Tuesday thing now?

I vent not with malice but out of desperation and a sorta-shaky hope that commiseration might exist beyond my four walls. Maybe it’s time to pivot and think beyond what was once considered job security - maybe I'm just supposed to keep calm and carry on? Whatever dull wisdom that might hold, life sure feels meaningless right now. Staring at these walls makes as much sense as the crap I've been fed about AI. Are we left to merely grit our teeth and shout into the void without getting drowned out?

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.