Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

renovating a house is often seen as an exciting prospect, filled with potential for transformation and improvement. yet, it can also unravel into a complex web of unforeseen challenges that negatively impact one's life. we embarked on our renovation journey with the aspiration of creating a dream home, but it rapidly turned into a nightmare that dismantled not only our relationship but also left us financially devastated. the unexpected costs spiraled out of control and soon became unmanageable. to make matters worse, disagreements about design choices and budget priorities created further stress between my partner and me.

as the renovation progressed, our financial resources were stretched to their limits, leaving us vulnerable and insecure. despite trying various damage-control measures, nothing seemed to stem the tide of overruns that plagued us from completion delays to unexpected structural issues that needed urgent attention. living amidst constant construction took a toll on our mental health too, making it hard to see past the immediate chaos towards future benefits envisaged at the outset of this venture. now here we are almost homeless under considerable financial strain having moved back in with my parents which i never imagined would happen 😞 while trying desperately not dwell excessively on past decisions or blame each other… finding solace in knowing we're doing everything possible rectify those missteps moving forward.

Hey everyone! So, here's the thing that's been nagging at me: living with ADHD really changes the way you experience boredom, and honestly, it feels like a never-ending cycle sometimes. 😐 You know how people say everyone's got their own little quirks? Well, turns out mine involves alternating between intense bouts of hyper-focus on the weirdest things and then hitting a wall where even my favorite activities feel like watching paint dry. It's like my brain is on its own loop-de-loop rollercoaster (didn't we all love those when we were kids?), but now the ride's gone rogue and forgotten there's supposed to be an off button somewhere. 🤦‍♀️

Whenever I mention this to friends, they often quote something along the lines of "Keep busy and you'll stay out of trouble," or whatever, right? Well meaning advice for sure...but when you've got ADHD, your mind swipes left on everything that sounds mildly productive. It's frustrating because structured tasks just don't seem to cut it unless they're accompanied by the rush of a deadline breathing down your neck. Not gonna lie, due dates ignite some magic spark in me: I’ve literally cleaned my entire house just to procrastinate writing a last-minute essay or two minutes before hopping on a Zoom call cause excitement hits an unexpected high! 😅 Maybe it's sheer fear powering over consistency?

So here's what I've discovered through my trial-and-error adventure: ditching any expectation of linear progress was surprisingly liberating. The key lies not entirely in holding oneself accountable every second (cause let's face it—as much as we'd love them to be true often affirmations pale beneath spontaneous motivations), but accepting that waves crash unexpectedly in both directions...sometimes you eat metaphorical cake before tackling dilemmas from another angle or indulge eternally ignored hobbies midday without regard if results manifest sooner than intended masterpiece cooking recipe involving complex marination steps few understand without tasting. 😂 How do folks here channel their chaotic bursts?

I'm making cards for some friends, and when I showed it to dad, he said it's not worth it because they won't value it even if they like it. I gave a small poster to a friend cus he wanted one. It's okay if he doesn't value it when I come back to school. It just tells me people aren't trustworthy outside of family. Family first, my family says. Dad really focuses on that mentality. I know my friends are nice, but since dad's lived longer than me he knows better. What's the point? I should just ditch the card and nuke all contacts. My disappearing will mean nothing to them. My disappearance will be me removing all contacts and never speaking with friends again, cus family first. That was for my Ivan friend cus he's a fan of Ivantill ship. It's okay, dad says friends are for fun. This isn't fun.

But dad says such people are weird or pathetic. We don't get gifts from friends, except my brother, he got a watch, a Lego set. Mom even got a brownie cake once and a few necklaces once. I don't know about dad though, and my friends haven't either. That means I'm disposable. I will never hang out with scumbags who see me as disposable. If they view me that way, they're disposable as well. Gifts are irrelevant if they never give anything back and even if they like it, what's the value? It's give and take, eye for eye, otherwise you're putting effort for scumbags who don't care for you. They act nice but I will never fall for that act. Not after so long ago I had been taken advantage of. I should never give it.

No one has given us gifts though. Sure some friends have and some relatives have, but it's not worth it cus they don't value it, especially friends. They're not in your family, they can never be in legal togetherness with you, not like family in records and passports, that's what dad says. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted lenses that hide the red flags. I feel like backstabbing them and yet when I see them be kind to me, I feel bad for holding a knife for them. I want to tell them to get lost and yet they seem nice to me. I have already worn glasses that made the outside world look red-flagged, I was so paranoid I didn't even speak to them. I didn't even know Genya liked me as a friend until I just went with her in a field trip and I had no one to hang out with, I just said yes cus she was confused what to do.

Do they have to be this high maintenance? Because right now dad's tempting me to leave them early. From his experience he says friends don't value whatever you give them, as much as they like it. I've had people smile at me but never connect whenever I talked about my interests. That's why I stopped. They would smile and just anyways think I was weird. Then they'd go back to pretending I was nothing to them. These people of mine are getting close to that territory. I love them but what if they're tolerating me? My family can only truly love me. How can random strangers from school feel it? We don't even touch often, even though we would've both felt weirded out by aggressive touch. Dad says such touch is considered love. We can't put friends in legal togetherness files, like husband and wife. We can't! I'm just the oil to their water, never able to blend. Even as an adult soon, I would never trust them, because dad says they never value me. They're traitors. They are the same to those who say yes to me before talking about their nonsense and their school accomplishments, like anyone would care. The world was always divided. This shows the division. They will always rat out someone. I'm planning to prepare a nuclear script before NUCLEAR OPTION.

I feel overwhelmed by the office. I have to put up with too much; I feel dragged down by it because it makes me experience unimaginable things. I don't want to get involved with them anymore, under any circumstances. I'm tired of thinking, of reflecting and reflecting. I don't know when this will end. It can't be that the office isn't a place of rest for me. I have to be strategic with my boss, with a girl, and with the audience in between. I don't feel the office is a place of rest, and for me, parties are hell because there are always things I have to navigate strategically, and the unfortunate thing is that they're simple moves, but precisely for that reason, they're despised. The girl does support me, and my boss to some extent, but I always have to do everything completely calculated. I go to the office to be in a field of uncertainty, only to then go and see what happened, because everything is done by instinct. I can't talk to any of them about what I'm going through because they won't understand, and the worst part is when they pretend to understand, making demands, which already happened to me once. Nothing makes me feel worse than not having any real respite with the girl or my boss; it all crushes me, but they won't understand at the office. And that leads me to the question: What am I supposed to do in a place where they don't support me in standing firm? They don't support me, they don't see me, I don't feel included. I feel like everything has to come at the cost of endless studies of the place. I'm fed up.

Being a citizen there is overwhelming because there's absolutely no support. I'm at the mercy of luck, always focused on my innermost feelings. Nobody experiences what I experience; nobody is prepared for me except to tear me to shreds. The support I receive is vague; I don't know what I'm going to do to support myself in the future. Everyone is watching to make sure I shut up, or they threaten me with conflict, with doing something that snowballs because it's a particular issue that goes against their norms. I'm tired of working with my boss and I want to get rid of him. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all, and neither does the girl. I don't feel supported in any way. I can't live my life constantly playing strategist. It can't be that I'm going through all this because I'm trying to be a good citizen, choosing coexistence, taking action, and that it's not rewarded, but rather met with silence. Nothing is made easy for me, just like it is for everyone else, nothing at all, and that makes the job itself all-consuming. I haven't been able to take my mind off it for a long time, and the psychologists and psychiatrists in my town only seem to work to stop me from saying anything, and that accumulation, the result of my timidly expressing myself, also becomes a conflict.

I don't feel like I'm in an office where I'm treated like a person. I'm tired of embellishing things through interpretations. I'm always looking for that girl everywhere I go; I don't get a moment's rest. I'm always thinking about her, and I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to quit that office. It's incredible that no one seems to realize the toll it's taking on me. I go out and think and think, and then I try to put it all into writing because, honestly, I feel like I can't stand on my own two feet at all, and I need others, an audience, like any other human being on this earth. I'm tired of justifying this situation. I just want to leave that office, but I don't want to because, for everyone else, there's no excuse for me being closed off, no excuse to avoid conflict. I always have to be thinking about something or spend some time on something to prevent conflicts, to prevent things from happening in the future, to avoid those silent things that are done and then denied.

It's no wonder I'm starting to hate humanity in general. I'm really tired and my life feels heavy. I feel like there are things that aren't worth getting into right now, because I feel like I want to explain everything about the girl, but that level of detail isn't helpful at the moment. First of all, because I'm not isolated; I'm actually in close contact with everyone around me. It's not worth it. Besides, things are still happening, and I can't really provide a concrete account. I also don't know if they're going to have a party at the office. I thought they wouldn't last time, that everything would just drag on after the tragedies in my country, but it didn't. I feel like the office doesn't respect my downtime. There's this overwhelming need to be there, thanks to the guilt of not attending willingly, on your own initiative, because everyone wants to be away and only comes out of obligation.

That office meeting was a complete nightmare, for God's sake.

Everyone was in their own world, the bosses complaining about having to do things alone and about the responsibility, and they didn't understand why no one had offered them any support or encouragement after everything they'd done for us, since they try to do things well. Then, one of them took advantage of the situation of a young woman's missing relative to promote himself, omitting the fact that they had called her after speaking ill of her. Of course, the young woman was present, and revealing this would have exposed the situation, so they had no choice but to beg that she wouldn't turn up, which is exactly what happened. One of the bosses was begging for recognition, for affection; two assumed the world had fallen apart and begged for help or something, since no one had taken the initiative with them; and another arrived late to the party, making it known that he'd even shown initiative in the early hours of the morning at the office.

What a disastrous party, for God's sake! It's incredible that at this point in time, people even thought about doing another one of those rehearsals. These people really love conflict, for God's sake! I mean, they like being in a constant battle, and that's what they call conflict. For them, from what I'm seeing, a party is everyone coming to settle scores with the other person, waiting for the other to say something. No wonder they're so exciting for them, for God's sake! No wonder the girl came, since she sensed they would use her for publicity. In fact, I can say she came for me, because she knows I like seeing her and being with her, and that's perfectly fine. However, what a disaster. It took a week to piece together what had happened through a lot of writing. Those dynamics completely absorbed me, drastically, of course. There's no peaceful atmosphere; everything is hidden beneath the surface, and it necessarily requires distancing myself, because otherwise, I find myself facing unresolved issues and reacting hastily to the defense. In the office, I can't show any emotion, not in any way, because they think I'm out of control. In the office, not following orders for the sake of the group and according to what the group believes is considered misconduct, because, good heavens, no intentionality is attributed to it. In the office, it's a battlefield where assumptions are always present; there's absolutely no transparency about what you feel because nothing is valid to feel if it doesn't affect the company's image. Internally, you can't feel anything at all about others.

I'm fed up with working in an office like that. I can't believe it took me a week to detach myself from those events. I had to do so many things to keep the environment from consuming me. In fact, since the tragedies happened, I've been working relentlessly to protect myself from being consumed by the prolonged period of time. I haven't had time to do anything else. Their way of being, which is in accordance with a certain way of acting, is considered a deviation or something like that, and if it isn't, then the person is deemed to be insane. They treat the terms as if they were different.

I have a question for the people who’s parents cheated. How do you guys behave normally with them afterwards?

My parents have been married for almost 30 years, and a while ago he had some job issue so we are going through a lot of financial issues. Every member of our family tried their best to help him, my elder sibling sends money, I work part time + maintain scholarship for my study but he ended up cheating on my mom mentally and most likely physically too. We forgave him the first time after talking to him but this year we found out he is still in contact with her. He keeps saying we are invading his privacy or that we are monitoring him. My mom spoke with that lady and she feigned ignorance and acted like she didn’t know the problems that are occurring at our house.

We weren’t that happy of a family but we still loved each other. Now my siblings hates my dad and so does my mom, it’s like I’m living with strangers. My mom can’t leave him as she is financially dependent on him and none of us are financially independent yet to live on our own.

He keeps saying actually all the people in the world are cheaters and that after his issue with his job we (the kids) showed our real faces and behave badly with him too even though all we have done is call him out on his actions.

I actually don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t look at him in the eye and talk to him anymore, I don’t know if this will worsen his depression or not but I feel like puking every time I see him. I just wish he had some brain to realize what he has done and that he isn’t the victim here.

I just feel upset.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

Hi so my love life has been shit and so I've written some piece. I have no prior experience in writing or anything. I just wrote whatever I wanted to and this is what i've written

BLASPHEMY

Author’s Note: This piece is my own personal story which is inspired to me by the song I love and relate, Kalapastangan by fitterkarma

“ I’ll die with a smile

As long as you are by my side

I’ll live with regret

If I couldn’t make you smile one day yet

It is blasphemy not to love you

It is madness not to think of you

If the world were to suddenly fall apart

You’re the first one I’d look for….”

If one were to ask how I feel about you, these words would always be the first to conquer my mind.

I can feel them rushing through the blood in every part of my body, engraving my soul. All my five senses; sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch, yearns for you only, only you….

How could I ever stop loving you? It’s a sin to even think of such dreadful thoughts!!!!

I wonder how much of everything was real to you? Maybe everything was fun to you, though it was never to me and will never be. I was foolish to think I ever meant something to you. My whole world crashed as I realized I’ll never be…

They are sick of hearing about you, they tell me to forget about you. But how could I ever!? One told me to admire you but how am I supposed do that only as I have always admired you from faraway…

It aches to have the thoughts of you forever disappearing from my life. It pains to let go of you.

I wish I never realized I love you…

They tell me to not overthink and I’ll be okay but what wrong have I done? Is it a sin to love someone very deeply? They don’t believe me when I tell them I’ll keep on loving you even if you don’t exist in my chapter anymore but I know for sure you’d be the one for me as long as you exist, even if years passes by…

Even though it was for short moment, I’ll keep it close to my soul for eternity. The thought of moving on, forgetting about you and falling in love with someone new genuinely kills me deep from inside. I was over the moon when you first texted me and I could feel happiness oozing out from myself during the times we spent together.

I curse the universe for this seriously. Why does the universe have to play this game to me? Ever time I wanted to forget about you, the universe would keep reminding me about you!! If only I never realized I loved you, if only you didn’t text me and met me; would I be in this much pain….

I don’t want these emotions to be fleeting, I don’t want to forget about my love for you. So, I can be reminded of this everytime if I start forgetting. If only you knew how much everything meant to me. You’d always be the one in my mind always and every passing moment, the one whom I look for amongst the places I go, knowing you’ll never be there….

I LOVE YOU “S”.

Music Credit: “Kalapastangan” by fitterkarma (lyrics translated by iyang)