Anonymous venting

It’s not a love story, but it honestly sounds like the beginning of a romance book. Here it goes, it may be lengthy.

Three months after I started my job, one night a guy walked in. Never seen him before and he walked up smiling at me, all confident. I gave him our rewards card and we were making a lot of eye contact but I tend to do that to a lot of people so I wasn’t really thinking much of it.

He came in again the next day, I picked up the shift last minute or I think a few days before. I can’t really remember but I just know I that I wasn’t originally scheduled. He walked in, holding eye contact with me the whole time then he walked to get a drink and came up to the counter. I greeted him, he said hey back. Started the transaction, noticed he had a crack on his phone in the shape of a bullet. As if someone had shot his screen and I pointed it out then asked how it happened. He told me then started telling me about how he just moved here but I wasn’t hip yet :( Finished and as he was walking away, he turned around and said “bye”.

A week passed and I was clocked out ordering food and I heard a voice, looked up and he was standing at the counter! I looked back at the ordering screen and as he was leaving, I seen him look at me out the corner of his eye.

Two weeks passed, I was on cash register for about 3 days in a row and I got annoyed with dealing with people so midway through my shift I asked a coworker if he wanted to switch stations. I be in kitchen while he’s on register. I’m in the kitchen for about 30 minutes and while I’m making a pizza, I get an order for chicken tenders. Look behind me, no one is standing at the screens. Then as i’m cutting the pizza, I just randomly look up and he’s standing first in line at the cash register. It was a long line because we were busy with people but only had two food orders which was not common at all. So when I noticed him, I will admit that I tried to go up there and “help” with the line to see him up close but another coworker was already there helping. Walked backed to the kitchen and not even a minute later, he’s walking towards the dining area, sits on the table in the middle that looks directly into the kitchen. My heart starts racing and I don’t know why! It’s never like this not even when I am dating guys. I was too shy to say anything to him. As I’m bagging his order, he’s up asking if it’s his before I can even print the label. I nod my head yes and we’re just looking at each other while exchanging the bag. He said “Thank you, bye” starts walking, turns around and says “I appreciate you”.

Another two weeks, It’s a rainy evening and there’s no customers in the store so I go to the back and get containers to restock some things and as i’m heading back, there’s two people in line. An older guy and a guy in a hoodie and beanie. The older guy is asking for help to set up his rewards account so I tell hoodie so can take him at the next register. I ask to scan his rewards and notice the bullet crack so I said “you’re the bullet guy”. and he smiled and said “yeah” but he wasn’t making eye contact anymore so I thought I made him uncomfortable and just finished the transaction in silent. He left.

ANOTHER TWO WEEKS!!!! I picked up a shift I know for sure was last minute because it was more recently. About two hours after clocking in, i’m sweeping an isle and look to my left and there’s a guy just looking at me from over a shelf. We stared at each other for about 5 seconds then I looked down then did a double take because I recognized him and he smiled so big and waved then I smiled back while waving then he walked towards a girl… ummm okay!

I seen him a few times after that but I never interacted with him because I wasn’t on cash register and I thought he had a gf so I never went out of my way to talk to him like I originally planned to on the day he smiled at me.

Then end of January I met a guy I started talking to, him and I only lasted two months, that’s a different story. But a few days after I met him, the guy came into my job. Eye contact on heavy but honestly I didn’t want to look at him because he’s so beautiful and I can’t hide my eyes. He came up the corner all like “Heyyyy,” and smiling and I said hey back and we started the transaction. As I was bagging his items, he started to help me and grabbed the bag. Before leaving said, “Thank you, thank you… I really appreciate you… Have a good night” that was odd from him. The “…” doesn’t do the pauses he did justice, it was more dramatic irl. Did some thinking and I came to the conclusion that he probably wanted to ask me something but changed his mind?? Idk

Three months passed and it’s now April. My job cut my hours a lot mid February and i was working one day a week every other week, it was brutal. For four hours at that! I got hired at a new job and decided to work my last day which was on a random Thursday when I am usually scheduled only on Wednesdays. I get to work, guy is no longer on my mind. I made up my mind that I was probably never going to see him again. My friend was on cash register but she was doing task so I was asked to take over. An hour later, he walks in and the sun is shining right on his face lmao, I know I sound crazy but that’s how dramatic it was! We noticed each other at the same time! Then i noticed that he walked in with a girl but a different girl and not to sound even more crazy but this girl lowkey resembled me. First girl didn’t at all, it’s like his typed changed.

They get their items and as I’m helping a lady in line they get behind her and I swear I can feel his eyes on me but I think everyone is looking at me so I don’t pay it no mind. She leaves, they walk up, placed their items on the counter. He places his drink in the middle of the counter, she places hers on the edge super close to her then folds her arms. When people do that, they’re usually paying separate so that’s what I originally thought. I almost told him his total but decided to ask if he was paying for her and he was so I went to grab the drink then reached for the candy bar the same time he did and our hands touched. First time we ever made contact.

I just, like why on my last day?! It doesn’t make sense! I don’t see him for months then on my last day he comes in and we touch hands now I can’t get this thought out of my mind like it was fate. I was never the one to believe in fate but like this doesn’t make sense. I’ve never had interactions like this, with the same person multiple times ever in my life. I’ve had crushes and i’ve found men attractive but my body never reacted to them the way it does to this stranger! Idek his name and i can hardly remember his face but i still can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t like it. I can’t tell anyone im close to about this because then they’ll think im crazy. I already think im crazy. idk i just had to vent. i have a feeling that we’re going to run into each other again out in the wild but then i feel crazy for thinking that.

Recently my mother got hospitalized for a serious medical condition she’s known about. She got injured in a car accident which caused the condition to flare up. She procrastinated going to get looked at and refused medical care for 6 weeks until her original condition began to cause serious issues. Now she’s back in the hospital, and I’m absolutely terrified for her. But I’m also extremely frustrated and upset with her. She waited so long to get looked at she’s going to miss a lot of important things to me, such as my high school graduation, ceremonies, and senior events. She’s missing my graduation over something to do with her own schooling (as she’s in college) and planned to have a class on the same day I graduate, knowing she wouldn’t be able to make it then. Because of her waiting to get looked at, my enlistment into the military is getting stalled, as I’m only 17 and can’t sign for myself. Both of my parents have been procrastinating this for months and now once I get them to go sign, she decides to finally get looked at and now I have to wait to sign, and some of you know how much of a problem that’ll cause me with it being summer time now. I am so worried about her but I feel so selfish for being upset at the same time. No matter what is going on, what event or who’s thing, it always ends up being about my mother, in some type of way, birthdays, Father’s Day, school events, literally anything becomes about her somehow because of either her achievements meaning more than any one else’s, or how her medical issues make her more important than anyone else’s (which she says frequently to me when I even mention a headache or being stressed). I just wanted one thing to be about me (graduating) and it won’t even be, it’ll be about her, which I get, but it still upsets me no matter what i tell myself. And even while me and my dad pushed to get her to go to the hospital, she wouldn’t go, and then for 3 days straight complained about her problems and kept being a giant pity party (talking about dying and 💀 herself and how dumb she is) but then refusing to go do anything about her issues.

So recently my 2 friends have been having drama problems or whatever you want to call it, one is just acting quite and struggling mentally which I get (we will call them B) the other one is kinda all over the place, has anger issues and as my mom says " attention seeker" and " starts drama" (we will call them P) lately they have had "issues" B has been more quiet and distant from P and P has been rude, ignoring B and just weird and toxic. B has vented to me and P has, I tried to give advice to P but they got all mad when I told them they ignore people to sometimes. They got all pissed and said "I only ignore people who ignore me" and they walked off saying "I'm done with people" I've dealt with their drama for awhile and honestly I was done. If I'm being honest nobody actually likes P like literally me and a friend (M) we're in PE outside and just venting to each other about how ridiculous P is and how they need to grow tf up and stay out of people's relationships and stop making things Abt them 23/7 like literally. And yes ik everyone struggles and maybe I'm getting the wrong idea but after awhile u start to see and notice peoples true colors and for P I have, I'm no longer friends with them or associating my self with them cuz they have done too much and I'm sick of caring for them when they don't give a crap and get all pissed at someone who wants to help and care for them. I hope p doesn't come crawling back because all I'ma do is say "Maybe you should grow up for once and maybe, MAYBE you will get somewhere in life." But for now I'm enjoying life and hanging with B now! I forgot how much fun they are and how much I missed hanging with them before P and their other friends came around. I just hope things get better and I hope P grows up because we are about to go into highschool and I can promise you nobody is going to like her btching around 24/7

It's really hard to explain. I walk, I talk, I breathe, I do everything that living human does. But something has always felt off, like I'm *not* a living human. I have a personality. Sometimes. But somewhere inside me, I feel... lost. Like there's a peice out there that's missing from me. For a few days, while my cousin was over with his kids, I felt almost whole, while I was hanging out with the older of the two kids (he's 4). But they left this morning and now I feel... incomplete again. I'm trying my hardest to describe it, and choosing all the wrong words. Imagine if someone took your arm off, or your leg. You'd sometimes try to use the limb, feeling like it's still there, only to find it gone as it always was. That's how I feel sometimes. The part of me that's gone, I forget it's not there, find myself doing things I wouldn't do usually, like talking to someone who's not there. It's just that I don't remember that part of me ever being there. I don't remember having it, don't remember losing it. It's so frustrating. I've been trying to fill this hole, if you can call it that, been trying to feel fully alive again, but it just never goes away. Not fully, anyway. I've tried to fill the hole with friends, material things, family, and love but it just stays empty and I don't know what to fill it with. I've always kinda felt like this, just never understood it, so I never told anyone, just hid it. Please help.

I don't wanna feel a thing. Talking about makes me sick. You've got therapy and I"ve got no regrets. Yesterday I slept till sunset. Woke up on my bedroom floor again. I can't even count on half the people that I call my friends. Rolling through another blackout. I don't gotta act like I'm ok. Everything got better when I realized nothing matters anyway. I don't want your bad advice. Keep that baggage to yourself. I could show the whole world my scars. But that'd probably scare them all away. I would rather take another hit, put on a band-aid. I need help. I NEED HELP. I'm too STUBBORN to ask myself. I'm so tired, I'm unwell. I'm too broken to fix myself...

Don't know how much more I can take

I just know that I need to get better.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.

Being a mom is the most rewarding and terrifying thing I’ve ever done. My little girl is only two years old, but every single day, I find myself wondering: am I doing enough? How to be a good mother when it feels like there’s so much to figure out?

Some days, I feel like I’m nailing it. We play together, she laughs at my silly songs, and I can see how happy she is. But then there are moments when I feel like I’m completely failing. Like yesterday, when I lost my temper because she spilled juice on the carpet after I told her three times not to run around with her cup. She cried, and it broke my heart because all I could think about was, “What kind of mom yells at a two-year-old over juice?”

I read parenting blogs and watch videos on how to raise happy, confident kids, but it’s overwhelming. There’s so much advice out there, and half of it feels contradictory. Be strict, but not too strict. Let them explore, but set boundaries. Make healthy meals, but don’t stress if they eat nuggets and fries once in a while. I’m trying to do it all, but is that even possible?

I see other moms who seem to have it all together—perfectly dressed kids, Pinterest-worthy lunches, and spotless homes. Meanwhile, I’m just proud if I can get her to daycare on time with matching socks. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re struggling too and just hiding it better.

I love my daughter more than anything, and I want her to grow up feeling loved, supported, and safe. But how do I know if I’m doing it right? Is there some magic formula on how to be a good mother, or is it just about showing up every day and doing your best?

If anyone has advice or has felt this way too, I’d love to hear it. I’m trying so hard, but some days it feels like I’m just fumbling through.