Friendship Stories

Since this is a place specifically designed for venting, I feel a bit more comfortable speaking here. I am a 21 year old girl who's in college right now, trying to figure out life and such. I am away from home for college and I miss my city so much. I am going towards a career that does not pay that well. I am not even that interested in it...just that I know it's something I can do. I have a few friends in this city who are nice people but none of them vent so I can't burden them with my story. Besides, their lives are much more interesting than mine. One has a friend she speaks to on a daily basis, two others have boyfriends and a lot of other friends with whom they can always have a conversation. My friends in this city have many other friends to talk to but all I have are them. If I tell them this, I am pretty sure I would be treated much differently but it won't be better, it would just be with more caution. I don't like that, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable around me. The friend who I used to vent to is now busy all the time and she makes a lot of decisions in her life that only messes things up as she's enjoying the risks. She tells me I can speak to her about everything and it used to be that way but now that she's busy, most of my long messages get lost in the void of things she's into. I tell her that we can speak about my issues later because she has worse things going on for her. But deep down, I really do wish she would one day just listen to me and tell me what I need to hear. She always knew what to say...but nowadays she's looking to speak to me about her problems and I can't deny that because I know she would give me a listen if she was available too. My ex who I'm friends with and not completely over, he's busy too and when I vent I just don't get much...sometimes when I break down, he does help me but I don't want my brain to hold on till I let it out. I am going through a lot and I don't want to keep it in like that. And I often lash out at him for not listening to me. I should stop doing that... because of the relationship I had with him, I keep thinking he should be listening to me. But no one is entitled to that, especially since he's also very busy (and often gets sick) and he shouldn't be coming back from work all tired just to hear me vent. I feel like everyone's got someone but I've got no one.

I want to try getting closer to my friends in the city but since they already have friends they talk to, they don't need me for it. So it's very one-sided and unfair. I don't want to be in this situation.

I feel like I'm in an environment where my ability to socialize with others is disregarded, and on top of that, my closest friends and family struggle due to the prejudices others foster as a result of such circumstances. People don't usually appreciate these analyses I conduct to explain what's happening, and psychotherapists have become part of the group.

I like this way of life, but I haven't received any support to fully consolidate it. Support is always a camouflage to force me to abandon it, in a blatant way. The whole effort is to make me achieve what I was helped to achieve, given that the problems I identified as such are no longer pointed out but now begin to view them in a pleasing light, which is what I feel the therapeutic work I've attended was all about.

I can't deny that I feel disappointed by society. My family struggled to contain me, and I always tried to adapt according to the circumstances, without predetermining and consolidating a certain personality in order to defend it. Outside, there were also these difficulties, to the point where others either abandoned me or established a distant and superficial relationship. The times they've tolerated me, it's because they had no other choice, and the times they've resorted to influencing me to adapt, it's because they haven't seen any other way either. All of this is always aimed at achieving stability within the environment for the group I belong to, rather than consolidating their personality within it through defensiveness. In itself, everything has consisted of complacency with the environment, as my family pointed out, which makes me feel like I'm among people who are incapable of reinforcing their identity as a group. This is something I find regrettable and terrifying, because we are always at the mercy of others, and their movements can occur at any moment, and consequently, any other. Therefore, in itself, it speaks to the lack of stability other than that provided by the environment itself, and that, again, speaks to a lack of tools for self-preservation.

I would like to be part of groups capable of reinforcing the presence of their personality in the environment, and not in those that are weakly structured and therefore provide a false sense of stability only provided by the environment. This makes me see the origin of those who go with the flow, and indeed, it seems that groups of this nature are the ones that populate the earth, at least within the country where I live.

Frankly, this type of spirit is not the example of someone who, I suspect, will sooner or later come back to me, so I feel it is necessary to seek out groups with such a capacity for reinforcement, and of course, that do not rely on popularity or a position of power, which are the elements on which some groups rely to maintain their way of being in the face of change. Indeed, it is necessary to make observations, at least in note format, to arrive at a systematic approach, but first, it begins with examining the material at hand.

You know, my friends, I have a hard time feeling comfortable around people. My biggest problem is that they have an extremely limited view of how to treat me, at least with those I've encountered. While I maintain a very sophisticated one with them, due to the fact that I'm always trying to give a response that, first, fits the person and, second, is foreign to their customs and those I'm used to. In itself, it unbalances me when I socialize, and that's what makes me feel the need to be alone.

I'm not interested in maintaining a language specific to a specific group, but rather, I'm interested in a language that allows me to be universal with all groups. I feel it's an interesting challenge because if I stay within a certain language, I'm not aware of what's happening in the group, given that language is there to be embedded and what it entails not distancing oneself in a way that schematizes circumstances. Furthermore, I prejudice what is external and not maintained by a norm among most groups, precisely to protect the stability of my group. Dear all, I feel that solitude precisely allows for openness to all groups, since it allows for observation and the development of responses to the development of boundaries that allow for coexistence between them and oneself. Those who are alone are considered to lack boundaries, and being alone in itself expresses that you lack the tools to socialize for this group, and that they are specifically for this group. For this reason, while there are several groups of this nature, and I haven't encountered any others, there is a diversity of language, and one must respond to it in a way that establishes consequences within the language used for a particular group if it is breached, thereby maintaining the identity of the group for me, as well as for the rest, as well as mine.

There are many people who possess this spirit, given that they insert themselves into such groups and, of course, base their actions on achieving the integration of the individual on an essence of victimhood if they fail, an issue for which one must be prepared. Indeed, then, loneliness itself, as we can see, is problematic for this social instance, and not because of loneliness itself, but because of the consideration of these groups. Loneliness, we can say, explores the thoughts that are generated within the same concrete routes of exploration of the world, precisely to give us ways to continue with this development of ideas, which in itself, I insist, is systematic, given that there is no group that holds ideas that are not such and that are assumed even as dogmas.

I have to say it: Loneliness, in today's world, is undervalued precisely because we have not been taught the ways to manage it. In itself, it has all consisted of remaining at the mercy of a group for the security that this implies, or the prejudice it entails. There is no longer concern for the context, which is what allows for non-violent behavior, and its failure to do so in itself concretizes the oft-discussed distrust among people that we all maintain when we are from different groups. In fact, I've come to view those solitary entities as a simulation of being solitary when in reality they are governed by the rules of a group, which in itself makes them belonging. Indeed, it must be said that we are part of a group when we abide by its rules, not by physical proximity, which doesn't explain those who appear alienated from the group to which they are considered to belong despite joining groups.

I believe that today it is necessary to discuss when we are part of a group, when we are inserted into the dynamics of a group, as well as the awareness of such elements precisely for mobilization among them or precisely their limitation given our ideology, which in itself is difficult, if not impossible, to result in a destructive outcome since it deprives us of support. I do not personally understand this fear conspired in such a way although I believe that it is the result of experiences in which the individual in question and others have not known what to do, which is why they resort to talking about a rough and impossible path to pass when the morphology of said path itself is expressed by the absence of tuned praxis and that precisely determine dark and impassable dimensions, being able to point out, right now that I speak of it, why the journey through such paths represent a terrain of uniqueness for when such characteristics are present in other aspects of life such as nature itself in the absence of human agents as well as certain mythologies, however, this is only to highlight, although I do not seek certainty but the development of ideas, which, its help is always felt, and its denial, it is complicated to help then will always be welcome in any way.

I feel a little annoyed. I have nothing to do. I'm on vacation. Tomorrow should be a day I plan to go to work, but vacation takes me out of my routine. It's not something I enjoy. I loved being there at work. I felt like they were forcing my mind to focus on something else. Without work, I feel like my days will be the same, that I won't face anything new. Being alone in my house fills me.

The solitude of my house is overwhelming. I don't feel like reading or writing anything, even though I have that hobby, because I'm flooded with ideas. It's not a question of therapy, which has me very disappointed. I haven't been lucky enough to find a good therapist either. It saddens me not to have relationships that go beyond work.

There are two girls I interact with. Work is the only place where I have relationships because on the outside, they're barely a one-off contact, even though there are intentions from beyond. These girls only interact within the workplace, and the approaches that are appropriate for such events always involve the fear of losing out on a matter beyond the workplace.

I feel very sad. I have no one to talk to. I won't talk to my coworker or my boss, with whom I felt that supportive company. I enjoyed their games, their considerations, and those scoldings that reinforced order. I felt protected by this, as well as by higher-ranking authorities, who I feel respect me in a loving way. When I'm at home, it's just me.

My father may be there, who is the only person I count on, but I have to admit that nothing is the same for him. I barely see him once a week, and it's only to maintain the relationship as a means of supporting me with income. It's something I feel hypocritical about, although lately I've tried to keep contact brief so as not to raise as many hopes as possible for a future beyond such encounters, for a closeness that could pave the way for us together. These meetings, precisely, allow us to emphasize that everyone is on their own, as long as the economic issue is present, since otherwise it will become a struggle in which there will be attempts to disrupt each other's routine, just as meetings would be more numerous each week.

Frankly, I loved being at work. Now, my only friends these days are my walks, the television, and access to the internet, nothing more, where no one speaks to me knowing it's me, but instead I rejoice in more knowledge, which, for the one I have, is already overwhelming due to the fact that it creates a distance from others, which has long since tired me out. I have to admit that distancing myself from my reflections has given me the benefit of being more in touch with others, due to the fact that I don't sophisticate my language. However, I feel this has been a betrayal on my part, since I truly enjoy such a matter.

I am collapsing inward like a dying star but no one will see the implosion until the light dissipates.

If you were to ask me what kind of friend I was, I’d tell you I’m the compassionate one.

But if you were to ask me on a deeper level, I’d say not once have I ever felt genuinely wanted or seen. I’ve always felt like the pity friend that is just allowed to be there. Not the favorite or the least favorite, just forever existing in a state of mediocrity. Deep down I desperately wish to feel truly cared for and I don’t know how much longer I can exist feeling like this. But I absolutely refuse to let anyone I love feel the way that I do. I will fiercely care and love them even if it sacrifices my own peace.

I’m never wanted. Too much and simultaneously not enough. Desperately praying to be completely and irrevocably seen. I think the second I’d feel wanted, the world would pause, all emotions would break like a tidal wave as I feel the earth give way under my feet, grasping onto the wanton need, fearing it would turn and run. Just like everything and everyone has done to me. So I’ll sit. And I’ll stay. Waiting for that day if it were to ever come. Though I fear I’d wait so long death would meet me first. Perhaps that is the only time I’d be wanted. I’d grasp his outstretched skeleton hand and wander to the land of the dead. Perhaps that is when I’ll have peace.

After Iconfessed she blocked me and cut contact I literally have no one or anything anymore I seraiously dont know what do besides rot bed I dont even Im crying as I type this Shes asking me to leave all mutal discord servers too And I just I want to enjoy those communites too but Iwant to respect her wishes and I just lost everything and everyone because of my stupid self Im sorry

My friend (Roe) has recently got a girlfriend, they just started dating about a month ago. Him and I have always been really close since we met and talked almost everyday but recently he's been spending more time with her which is expected. There are some things he does though that is making me really mad and I just want to know if I'm crazy for being mad. When she (his gf) is at work or somewhere not at home the two of us will hangout and play games like we have for a while, but its becoming a thing that as soon as she gets home he disappears. We will be in the middle of a game or even just talking and he will just leave without saying anything. I tend to overthink a lot in general so I'm not sure if I should bring up how hurt this is making me feel to him because I feel like im overreacting. I know new couples tend to want to spend all of their time together and I'm happy he found someone, but I also feel like my friendship is just now being used as a placeholder for when she is not around.

I lied to my friends and the only friend left is still talking to me and she wants me to admit somtthing else to her but Iam so scared and anxious that shes just going to block me like the others and I dont know what todo besdies ignore it and hope she just thinks I dropped off of the platform

So, this all started a couple months back when school was just out for the summer. With nothing to do, I turned to my friend who, I'll just call squib. For context, squib has been depressed for years and had attempted a couple weeks before school was over. Causing her to go the mental hospital for about a week. She has another group of friends that I don't get along with too well. After her attempt, her parents put her on an extremely tight schedule, allowing only an hour or two at a time for devices. So, the story starts while on a call with her. We were playing some random Roblox game when her parents had to take her somewhere. She told me that she'd be back in around two hours and so I agreed and waited patiently for her. I was pretty bored during the time so I was just playing random games. It was 2 hours later and she still hadn't texted me. I just thought she was still out. Another hour. I'm confused. I then log back into Roblox and see her playing with her other group of friends. Oh... I text her in discord and she gives short- and somewhat incomprehensible answers saying "I'm distracting. Cali " alluding to her playing dandy's world with her other friends. I brush it off as being forgetful. But then this started happening multiple times. And Everytime it happened, I could feel a piece of trust being broken. I talked to her later and she said she would try to be better. And she did! She's gotten better about it... Or so I thought. Recently, she has cancelled last minute on me FOUR TIMES IN A ROW. And Everytime she's always busy. I know that her

Excuses are probably true because of her tight schedule but the fact that it happened 4 times is just crazy to me. I told her the 3rd time she cancelled that I was going to make a last ditch effort for her to come over and spend time and that she had the ENTIRE week to get her stuff done. But, in the end, she didn't make it. I would understand if it were some really long important thing that she worked on the entire time. But it was just planning for a roadtrip. She took breaks in the middle to game, read, and do other things (yes, I know, it's good for her mental health and all :c ) but she promised to hurry it up so she should come! I just... Don't know how to feel. She's broken my trust so many times and it hurts. But she has so many good explanations that just make me feel selfish. If you guys can help that would be very much appreciated 😞.

I am 56 years old and met my best friend in university when we both were 19/20 years of age.

In comparison to me she had a hard upbringing. Her mother had her with only 18, father left the family when she was a small kid and built a new family with a new woman. This new wife tried to cut her out of their life as much as possible and her father went low contact. Her mother turned to alcohol, became a heavy drinker, which resulted in my friend living in different families until she got her own flat when she was 16, supervised by the authorities. Later her mom married again, also a drinker, and they got 2 more children (her mom died in her early 50s). My friend struggled a lot, but successfully managed school and made it to Uni. Without financial support from home, she had to work. Some of her jobs where in the grey Zone: escort service or selling used underwear to weirdos. She also got herself older boyfriends to make ends meet. In general she had a disturbed view on men and relationships. Kind of understandable.

We went through uni and started our jobs which led me into another Country. We always held contact though it thinned out over time due to working and being apart 300 Miles.

When I married she was my bridesmaid (in our culture we usually have only one). I struggled getting pregnant and she with finding a partner. Due to her background she had Kind of weird expectations, always thought her men were unfairhful, though she always had something on the side, just to be save in case of being Left. Morally I never supported her lifestyle but I could relate as she never had a real dad, a safe home and Security.

Then she met a guy, got pregnant after one month and married highly pregnant. A party would be to come after giving birth. At This point she was reluctant me visiting her. I understood (new marriage, baby and house) and I also went through IVF and more at the same time.

When I was 40 I finally had my child. We had contact via phone, but never seemed to manage visiting each other. One day we talked on the phone when all of a sudden she turned to short answers and ended the conversation. This was the last time we spoke, ever.

After a few months she accidentally picked up the phone when I rang, said she is in a hurry, will come back later and hung up. It’s been more than 10 years……for years I tried to call her, sent birthday and x-mas wishes. Nothing in return. I was and am ghosted completely.

BTW: During our last phone call we didn‘t fight or argued. I remember that I was talking about my father in-law, coz they had just stayed at our place the week before.

I am 90% over it, still I would give the world to know what happened. Was it something I said or did? I do not want this friendship back, but I feel I have the right to know the reason. It would just be fair! Funny thing: she is working as a psychotherapist, being praised online for skills.

Wonder what the internet has to say?!?!

i've never been more alone than before. my social circle has been getting smaller and smaller over the years. i recently got into a fight/discussion with one of my two only friends which i also had a situationship and i'll likely never ever going to talk to him again (he was venting to me about a situation and i was too sincere about that and plainly mean, i accept the fact it's purely my fault). i've been really angry about that and it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked, I don't ever want to see him again really because even if i was mean, he didn't thought about my feelings since he literally abandoned me at my worst and he knew it, but i miss him... i miss him so much.

the other one doesn't talks to me nor reply to my messages, i've known her for like 7-8 years, we have always been great friends, but something i feel it's that i need her more than she needs me, and we both know it, and the only reason they have been my friend for so long it's because she doesn't wants to hurt me and make me commit suicide (i had attempts before, and she was there for me at those times and she was kinda the only reason I didn't). i've been growing paranoid about this, I don't want to get fully alone and I haven't talked to anyone at all for like 2 days straight. i feel that nobody has ever liked me at all. i feel desperate, so desperate. i'd like to make more friends, but i'm socially anxious and nobody really gets me at all, just them. martina is literally the person that makes me feel safe, understood, she's my sister of another mom, she's the only person that has ever understood me and the only one i can trust, but if it was all fake all along? i'm crying as i think about it, at the fact that maybe my love has always been unilateral and our bond was fake all along. i've created my whole point of view and philosophy around her, and the fact i never fully understood why she was my friend. that maybe it was part of my destiny to know her here and every other life i had, for us to be siblings... that idea has been shattering lately, and it's destroying my whole life, what little remains of it... i'm so alone, I don't know what to do anymore

So, I'm part of an online group of friends who play online and chat about common hobbies, passions, etc, nothing too harmful. I'll start by saying that I'm closer to one of them (let's call him R) that I've known for years, but I enjoy talking with all of them. All good, until a few days ago, when there was some sort of private, aka not in the general chat, fight between R and another person (S). Now, R and S have been quite close for years, but there was some disagreements already (personal stuff between them) that blew out of proportion after a comment made by R that S thought it was about him. R says it wasn't, but who knows really. Ever since that the group has been silentish, in a weird tense mood. I know about the fight from R, the others know from S, and it's like inevitably the group split between R and I, on one side, S and the others on the other, even though no public reference has been made to the fight. I don't know how to approach this situation, R thinks we're being quietly shunned out by the others (whom I still can see interacting with each other) and while I initially thought it was crazy, after almost a week of this I feel kind of drained by this whole situation. I never acknowledged what happened between them, never made comments, even in chat with R I tried to keep up a "maybe it's nothing/maybe it's a coincidence/maybe they're just busier this time around" more to try to keep R calm, but I've got to say I'm starting to agree and would like this situation to end, someway. What happened between R and S is not something I have part in and on their "break up" of sorts S said to R that he'd interact normally with him, just less "closer", but it's hard to believe now. Even talking to R is becoming something that keeps draining my energy, even though a friend sticks to a friend and I deny feeling tired by this whole situation when he apologies about it. I don't know, it sounds dumb and childish, but I just want my chill group back.

recently i learnt how lonely i am when so many people have friend groups where they hangout where they can be themself i also wanted that but i have got it but no one tells me any thing recently my entire friend group left our group chat leaving me behind and no one is ready to tell me anything i feel betrayed because i may i have not been active in the friend group that often but i feel so angry i ask me friend about it he said "leave it nothing" it gives me trauma and a feeling that im not part of the friend group anymore the same happens to me often where i want to join a group but every time i join i feel like an outcast or just a person who covers an empty space i dont feel i know it

I took a nap earlier that was an unintentional 9 hours. During that entire time, not a single one of my friends messaged me to check in on me or strike up any conversations. It felt like that once I stopped putting in the effort for a little while, no one actually gave a shit about me. It feels that once I stop trying, I cease to exist in their memories. My one friend is putting more effort into their polycule lately and it feels like because of that they don't care to message me at all until it's late in the evening and the only thing they're messaging me for is to say goodnight and make empty promises to talk to me more in the morning. They're allowed to be happy, I'm happy they are- but what about our friendship? It feels selfish to ask that, feels selfish to want them to stop paying attention to them for more than five minutes to talk to me again. Hell the only time they talk to me like they used to anymore is if one of their wife does something that severely upsets them.

hi. im a highschooler (17F) who's going into her senior year in august.

i feel like my friends aren't really my friends. it's as if i keep trying over and over to be a good friend, to be there for them, but they never care to do the same. i'm alone. i could walk into a room full of 100 people at my school and still feel completely alone. there is nobody who notices me the moment i walk in, nobody who makes me feel seen. i feel like a ghost.

it's the worst feeling i've ever experienced. sometimes i consider doing something awful to myself. objectively, i have a good life. i'm fortunate enough to have a roof over my head, and i'm on the track to being accepted to one of the best art schools in the world. but i'm tired. i'm so, so tired.

is there anything i can do to stop this loneliness? thanks for reading.