Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

You wander through the foggy streets

Wondering if anyone's noticed

Your thoughts circling around and around

You walk and walk

Not sure where your going

Or what your plan is

You just want to run

It starts to rain

You look up

Letting the symphony of falling water wash over you

You scream

The world not hearing you

They've never heard you

They never will

You watch the sun awaken from its slumber

Hearing them screaming out your name

Yelling for you to come home

You stand up

Wipe your muddy hands

Wipe your cascading eyes

And run and run

Hoping you'll run off the planet

One day hopefully

A few years back, my best friend, who I was really close to, tragically passed away. It was a tough period that I'm still getting over. Recently, a girl in some of my classes started saying to some people I hang out with that she’s been in contact with him. Now, considering he’s not amongst the living, her assertion took me aback, especially since she claimed she was channeling him through the worship of Greek gods and the lighting of candles. What struck me most was that she had never met him - so this revelation didn't sit right with me.

One day, while sitting near her in class, I decided to quiz her a bit about her beliefs in Greek mythology, not with any malicious intent, but just out of curiosity. She seemed quite passionate about it and eventually shared that she could communicate with spirits during her sessions with these ancient deities. She even claimed that my late friend was one of the spirits reaching out to her. She described how a flicker of a candle would signify his responses to her queries. Although a part of me found this absurd, it was also somewhat upsetting.

Attempting to lighten the mood, I made a light-hearted comment about spirits wandering into teenage bedrooms, which seemed to annoy her a bit. However, things escalated when she solemnly mentioned that my friend was sorry for the way he died and missed me greatly. This struck a nerve, and I couldn’t help but respond harshly, dismissing her claims as fantastical and insensitive, given she had never known him personally.

Her response was defensive, asserting that her beliefs were valid. The conversation ended with both of us feeling misunderstood and frustrated. Reflecting on this, I think about how such a scenario would unfold in the glare of a reality show. The intensity of emotions and the clash of beliefs could certainly hook the audience. Would viewers sympathize with my feelings of protective anger, or would they find my response too harsh towards someone's deeply held spiritual views? The dynamics could definitely stir up a lot of discussions and perhaps even bring to light the diverse ways in which people handle grief and belief.

I’ll never shake away the pain

I close my eyes, but she’s still there

I let her steal into my melancholy heart

It’s more than I can bear

Now I know she’ll never leave me

Even as she runs away

She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me

Move me, come what may

Wasting in my lonely tower

Waiting by an open door

I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in

And be with me for evermore

My eleven-month-old son is quite the towering toddler, already measuring in at 36 inches tall, which is roughly the height of a typical two-and-a-half-year-old, and he's comfortably filling out 3T sized clothes. Despite his impressive stature, he's still very much a baby whose primary source of nourishment is breastmilk.

This Fourth of July, we had a sizeable family barbecue, and my brother decided to bring his girlfriend along. I currently live out of state and planned an extended stay back home; my brother and his girlfriend have chosen to stick around for a bit too.

As expected, everyone in my family understands that my son is still a little one, just that he looks older. However, this concept seemed to shock my brother's girlfriend when she noticed him acting his age. We tried to make it clear that he is genuinely just a baby exploring his environment, yet she continued to seem uneasy about it.

The situation has been quite tense over these past few days. Yesterday evening reached a breaking point. While I was trying to feed my son—I often use an armchair for support as he’s too large for other spots—she was seated there. I requested she move, which she did begrudgingly. About an hour later, she blew up, demanding that my brother pay for her hotel stay because she found it too challenging to be around my son and me.

She accused me of feeding him in public on purpose to make her uncomfortable and insisted he should be eating solid foods due to his size. That upset me significantly, and I admittedly lost my poise, chiding her for not understanding anything about parenting or my circumstances.

Our debate continued, and once my son woke up from his nap, I had to attend to him, but she stormed out, proclaiming she needed to "protect her peace," which sounded quite dramatic.

My brother then accused me of immaturity before he left with her. Though my dad supported me, he suggested I should have handled it better since I'm older by three years. Meanwhile, my mom tried to stay neutral but ended up paying for their hotel to get my brother to return home, believing I could've been more sympathetic.

Reflecting on this, if this confrontation occurred on a reality show, the explosive mix of family tension and miscommunication might have been sensationalized for dramatic effect. Cameras would zoom in on our heated exchange, possibly painting me as the villain before cutting to a confessional where I’d express my frustrations and challenges as a mom misunderstood by someone with no experience in parenting.

Did I really handle that situation so poorly?

so , yesterday was my so called best friends birthday , and i said hapy birthday and left them to enjoy there birthday , then i saw at 9pm at night them putting not just 1 status but 1 status and about on whatsapp saying i am done with fake people . On seeing this i messaged this person seeing if they where ok and what had gone on and the reply was i am off to bed , night . This seeming bit rude i left them to it and messaged them today again asking what had gone on , the question then still been ignored . so i was like i am trying to care but there not aloowing me too . Then got a 13 min voice note , telling me i have no respect for my self apparently that i wasnt communicating and that i seemed like a lowsy best friend .

Me being like the hell because this person allways thinks about geting her self invovled in my relationship stuff , she doesnt support what i do she doesnt like that i do what i wanna do and no one can change my mind . but if she wants help in her relationship i dont say basically dump him that she had no respect for her self ect. So i told them how i felt and said i wanted space as how upset this person made me feel but also how angry i was and tired of being made out to be the bad guy . its not the first time its happened either . its getting beyond a joke that is how they are being so yeah . i must be someone who has no respect for my self and all that . also while this person saying i am horrible i am on 3 days of migraines do they ask if i am ok nope they say i dont try hard enough

I understand why it’s happening, at least somewhat, but I wish other countries would stop blaming all Americans for the actions of Trump. Stop lumping us all in with MAGA and telling us we’re all culpable for them and Trump's cronies.

The children, especially queer children, who couldn’t vote at all are culpable? The lgbtqia2p, disabled and other groups with targets on our backs who kept BEGGING people to vote Kamala are all culpable? Intersex and trans people like myself, attempting to all be wiped out and also tried to warn we were/are the first domino to fall, are culpable? The Indigenous peoples (again like myself) trying to be told we aren’t citizens who may be put in camps are culpable? Etc?

I’ve been trying to get out of here for years, but I was trapped with abusive “family” who pretty much pulled a Disney’s Tangled on me, until 22 or so. I was just getting my life back on track, trying to undo some of the damage from medical neglect/malpractice and get my mental health in order to study abroad, that’s all gone. I won't drone on about that again, I already have two or three posts doing so.

I have no one in my corner in my “home” and now no safer country will likely ever let me flee there. Day by day, the family I'm trapped with, keeps pushing me and my feelings aside. I've been in near constant crisis, yet I'm told I have to think of my cishet mother and brother, their wants and needs. While I am trying to crawl out of the hole I'm trapped in and have been trying to beg for help getting out of, on my own when I really can't for many reasons, I am treated as an evil and selfish bitch for not having "compassion" for people telling me I don't matter and I'm "overreacting." Being "lazy." My brother has also begun copying me in a way that just... Unsettles me. I won't go into too much detail on that, but as a brief summary, he's treated me like garbage all my life for being disabled and queer. Or, just the barest hint of being queer I should say, as spiritual abuse at the hands of family and the like made me hide that DEEP. But, then he began to say I was lucky a few years ago, because I can't work I am privileged. Example one of many. I didn't catch it until I began to notice him copying my stims and things I say about my experiences trying to beg for understanding, but I realized he'd been quizzing me my whole life about my trauma disorders and disablilities. He also tried to gaslight me, tell me things he did to me happened in reverse, I did it to him which is a blatant fucking lie. I'm apparently "mean" for not wanting to forgive or enable him (he's trying to get disability when he's not disabled and blatantly copying me to the point his psych even called it out). He has been watching me closely as I've been so upset, too, and started parroting things I've said. Mimicking the way I CRY (I wish I was exaggerating) and I have some serious concern but no one is listening to me. No one.

No one is listening to me about anything, not about this, not about anything I've been writing here. I’m “not valuable” due to being stunted from abuse, being disabled and chronically ill, lumped in with fascist MAGA despite being number one on their hit list. My family is putting people who abuse me first, my brother like I said, my aunt who tried to exorcise me when I was little. And, you may ask, why don't I just leave? HOW WHEN I WAS DELIBERATELY KEPT FROM KNOWING HOW TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING, AM POOR AND AM DISABLED (made more so by my father not allowing me to see the doctor among other things when I was still stuck with him... The fact mom rescued me from him makes me feel like shit for being so angry at her which is another can of worms)!? And now, my State Removed my protections as a trans and intersex person from the Civil Rights Act.

I. Am. Trapped. And. No. One. Cares.

Apparently, I'm culpable for my own prison, my own abuse. The terrible things happening all over, I am culpable for, despite being a victim of it all myself. For the targets on my back and others, I'm responsible, when I tried to stop it and make others care enough to help stop it. It just hurts, it’s just scary, and I needed it out somewhere. I never even got to live in the first place and now I’m stuck here like this… I'm sorry I keep ranting here about all the same things, but it's anonymous and I have nowhere else to go to. I have nowhere to go online or in real life and it just makes me want to give up all together.

The fact my story, my pain, all sounds so stupid for someone my age to be writing as well just... I swear I had a plan once upon a time, I was supposed to be something, someone different than this.

I keep asking myself this dumb loud question in my head every morning and night and in the shower and while scrolling and it’s like how do you even tell if you’re gay?? I’m not crying about it I’m not romantic about it I’m just staring at the wall like ok facts only please. I look at guys and my brain goes yes that one!! I look at girls and my brain goes maybe but also no and also stop asking me. It feels stupid simple and also weirdly complicated. People online say “if you’re asking you probably are” and that feels rude but maybe fair. I don’t feel broken or tragic or whatever those movies sell. I just feel normal and annoyed. Everyone wants labels and timelines and a dramatic reveal and I’m like can I just exist first?? I think about how I’d tell my family and my stomach does a backflip but also nothing explodes. They’re not monsters. They’re just loud and nosy and love to ask questions. I imagine sitting at the table and saying it straight like hey I think I’m gay and then going back to eating. No violin music. No tears. Just facts. Is that allowed?? I keep wondering if you feel this way too or if you already know and you’re just scared of the word. People say “you’ll know when you know” which is useless advice but ok thanks. I notice I don’t hate myself. That feels important. I notice I’m not trying to change it. Also important. The world keeps spinning. Bills still exist. I still hate mornings. This isn’t a tragedy. It’s just information. I read some vent post that said “sexuality isn’t a quiz you pass” and I laughed because yeah duh but also I keep trying to pass it anyway. I don’t want permission. I want clarity. Or maybe I already have it and I’m stalling. Are you stalling too?? Be honest.

The family part is the loudest part in my head and it’s annoying. Everyone acts like coming out has one correct script. Sit them down. Deep breath. Serious face. I don’t want that. I want casual. I want rude even. I want to say it the same way I’d say I’m tired or I hate my job. I think if I ever do it I’ll just blurt it out in the car or during dishes or when someone says something dumb on TV. Like “yeah well I’m gay so” and then let the room deal with it. I don’t owe a speech. I don’t owe tears. I don’t owe explanations. If they ask questions I’ll answer the real ones and ignore the stupid ones. Boundaries are cool now apparently. I read that somewhere. The advice people give is always like safety first which yeah obviously but also don’t treat yourself like a bomb. I’m not planning to disappear. I’m still me. Same jokes. Same bad habits. Same love for dumb stuff. This is not a personality overhaul. I’m not asking them to clap. I’m telling them something true. That’s it. I think people forget that truth can be boring. I want boring. Boring is peaceful. If they freak out I’ll leave the room. If they don’t I’ll finish my food. Either way I’ll be fine. I keep repeating that like a mantra because it’s actually true. Someone said “coming out is for you not them” and I rolled my eyes but also yeah that tracks. So why rush it?? Why dramatize it?? Maybe I’ll wait until it feels like saying the sky is blue;

I don’t know if this answers the title question cleanly but maybe that’s the point. There isn’t a magic test. There’s just noticing patterns and not lying about them. There’s liking who you like and not apologizing for it. There’s waking up and realizing you’re not pretending anymore. I’m not confused I’m just mid-process. That feels fine. It feels hopeful even. I can imagine a future where this is background noise not the main event. I can imagine telling my family and then going back to my life. That thought doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. Progress?? Probably. I’m not here for pity. I’m not here for praise. I’m just saying what is. If you’re reading this and thinking wow same then yeah same back at you. You’re not late. You’re not wrong. You’re not dramatic for thinking about it a lot. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to be blunt. You’re allowed to be calm about it. People act like identity has to hurt. It doesn’t. It can be neutral. It can even be kind of relieving. I feel lighter just writing this out which is annoying but true. If someone asks me tomorrow how I know I’ll probably just shrug and say “I just do” and that’ll be enough. Do you really need more than that??!!

I'm scheduled to attend a wedding this autumn, and I sent a message to the bride, Elaine, informing her that I would already have my boho braids styled for the occasion and wouldn't require the professional hairstyling being arranged. I also offered to adjust the style of my braids to whatever she preferred, acknowledging that she might want a uniform look for all the bridesmaids.

Elaine replied, suggesting I wear my natural hair instead to maintain a consistent appearance among the bridal party. I am the only African American bridesmaid, and I pointed out that natural styles might inherently stand out. Besides, my natural hair can be quite unmanageable during day-long events, which is why I preferred my braids. Despite this, I openly communicated that I'd be more comfortable with the braids, hoping for her understanding.

However, Elaine hasn't responded to my last message but has voiced to others that she feels I'm being overly self-centered. I've been actively involved in the wedding preparations, from organizing her bachelorette party to assisting with her bridal shower and tackling various other wedding-related tasks along the way.

Now, I'm torn. Should I cancel my braid appointment to align with her wishes for the wedding day? Or should I go ahead with the hairstyle that makes me feel confident and at ease, while still being willing to style it as she wants?

Adding to this, imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality TV show. Likely, it would draw significant viewer attention, becoming a focal point for discussions about cultural sensitivity and personal preferences within wedding traditions. Cameras capturing live reactions could escalate tensions or perhaps lead to a touching resolution where diversity is embraced and celebrated. This televised angle could drastically shape public perception of both myself and Elaine.

Imagine if I was seen as trying to assert my identity, or if Elaine was perceived as inflexible? The dynamics could tilt audience sympathy one way or another based on how sensitively the issue is handled on-screen.

Should I keep the braids or go natural for a friend’s wedding?

I chose the "friendship" category, I was tempted by the category "Bridezilla".. 🤫

I again humiliated myself when doing a report to the whole class. I had recited my script over and over again for the past days but i still was stuttering, my mind still went blank and i couldn't talk and someone else had to take over.

This happens everytime and im so frustrated in myself. I hate my stuttering, I hate me social anxiety, I hate my awkwardness. I don't know what to do

Pls read this.

It's now 2026. I'm gonna be 14 in February. I fucking hate this. The future, it's too unpredictable! Like, I can survive. I’m weird if I do my own thing. Who notices the cleaners or waitresses or maids? I’m gonna be okay because no one can hurt me, because they don’t notice me. Best thing I can also do is not go to college either, most successful people dropped out and went their own paths. I’m going my own path, just a slower one, of giving up the risky waters. No one swims in Mangalore seas, those who do are idiots, just wanting to play with their own life. Who even wants to learn about marine life, or history? Seriously, only history you learn from is this kind and how likable you are. I should care what others think, my dad’s wrong to say no to that. Who’d wanna learn about Vietnam or Thailand or India, most them are anyways mean, rude and like polluting the ground. Those who do doctorates for literal fish, to others, it’d be weird. I won’t be word nor trendy, just nothing. It’s easier than being both lanes, anyways. Most kids after realizing they can never be a cool kid from a weird kid soon chose the beige route, at least that’s still a color. You said I’m allowed to be a nobody, I can live with that forever, considering I already ate up 7 years. It’s not judgement, it’s grace on my part, just like giving up. I’m allowed to just be a no one. I can endure, people can sit with that. They don’t sing, “I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up” for no reason! I can manage. It ain’t even that bad. Humans are resistible. I can live with being nothing to others, be in routine. Unshakable but predictable routine. Many people live like that. You may say I’m 13, but trust me, I can be smart like that. I just need to remove my curiosity, that intrusive aspect of me to come out of my safe space and be hurt. Don’t go to college, wake up, pass school, form no friendships, eat, sleep, bathe, relieve myself, work in some small job till I finish whatever mortgage and rent I have until I’m 64, so it all over again from 18-64, assuming my work life lasts that long.

See! People are a liability! I can be me to me only! People can live long fulfilling less without these burdens. People really are hell, Sartre was right. I can be rigid, have my own fun life and be with no one, they’re worthless anyways. They all judge, so why bother looking even for one person if it doesn’t exist? You literally said, “Humans don’t need applause, but we do need some meaning. Meaning doesn’t have to come from people, but it has to come from somewhere. Fish, oceans, history, art, dolls, stories. Those are not liabilities. They are anchors.” I’ve had them all my life. I can live with them, make them my friends, since people are a waste. I may be able to survive this year, but I can thrive the rest by this routine! You said people are optional, so why bother with any kind of relationship? Most successful people don’t even have sustainable relationships with people! I can make with next year! I’m 13, I can deal with it. How am I even wrong to say people are hell? You said I’m allowed to not like people, so that means I can handle no one. They all suck anyways. If I want someone as a friend, it won’t matter because it won’t last. I just know it. It’ll be that way. I won’t be surprised by good person who stays because they don’t exist. That’s in movies only where someone is cool like that. Again, pure fiction. No matter how I act, nice or mean or quiet, I’m a nobody to them. It won’t last and it won’t matter. I hate seeing friend groups because they feel stupid. I’m a proud incel girl. I can be a fucking incel, I'm 13.5, it's a good fucking title for me.

See? People are a risk. I can live like an introvert. Work, eat, sleep 7 hours, watch some favorite stuff, draw, repeat. It’s a life many adults do anyways for a while. Look what traveling did to me, it made me sick. Only bad thing now is I’m going to a new home in a few months, which I have to convince my parents somehow I should stay here, my original home. If some real kids can convince their parents not to divorce, I can convince them to not leave and just have them you know, stay and enjoy their investment of the house, even though they spent money on it. I’m smart for saying moving is bad. The kids there will look at me weird, and even if I’m in the same school, I don’t care. New big neighborhood men’ means it’s a social death sentence for me. I’m allowed to stay at home. My original home is safe. You said I CAN not make any friends, so that means I CAN not seek out anyone unless it’s a doctor or anything, but driving, work people, friends, restaurant workers, nope. I’m not gonna drive, I’m not gonna go to college, or pursue any of my interests. Just be a cashier, it’s low stakes and nobody cares for me. Good. Good life. Then I can go home, draw, bathe, pay rent, eat dinner, and sleep. Be Yoshikage Kira, minus the murder aspect. Just have a quiet life and be the background guy forever. It’s easier. That’s my quest for stillness. I may want friends, but since life hasn’t given me any despite me changing, I just simply can’t get them, I’ll give that up and just study, just pass exams, somehow manage 9th grade in IGCSE from CBSE, somehow manage without my original tuition teacher, and just draw and watch stuff and walk in my house because it’s a villa, and even though it’s a big neighborhood, no. I don’t deserve to exist as myself, so I’ll just be the nobody’s of the world. I was nice, my classmates didn’t notice, I was mean, still. Quiet, still didn’t notice. I’d rather just leave at this point. Not life, but just being a person in society, just a person in outskirt city. I hate it when I see people smiling with friends because I know the truth, it’s not gonna last. Since nothing lasts, nothing matters. I’m 13 going to 9th in a bit, so this matters. The last thing to actually matter. Everything matters because we as humans have such short lives, despite everything being temporary. I’m 13, and in the next 10 years, I’ll live in the outskirts. I’ve already lived in the outskirts of school long enough, I’m used to it.

I don’t matter. No one liked me no matter how I acted. I just concluded I can be a wallflower forever. I’ve lived as one anyways long enough to get used to it being permanent. I’m a crazy diamond like Syd Barrett, eventually his reassignment was the reason his band succeeded. Only thing is at least they remembered Syd, who’d remember me and me where I was? My family won’t matter because when you’re an adult, you leave them behind. It’s what everyone does, no matter what dad says about “leaving if your job is also far away, but otherwise you can stay with them”. No. Just let me be still. Forever. I’ve died inside before I even got to see anything good, because it doesn’t exist. Now that we’re moving in a few months, it’s not a new leaf, it’s a new wasteland. A new bad land unless I stay behind in my home, which is 35 minutes away from the new place. Imagine the new kids there who are also disgusting monsters. They’ll only reject me because I know the truth, change is bad. Even before a child says hi to me, I need to role with an iron fist and fight them back with poisonous words, or push them if I have to. I don’t know, I’m scared of these freaks. My subconscious may want some peace, but we got to think logically about this. I’ve survived 7 years, I can survive the next of life. I’m not gonna stack now because I’m on a trip and I don’t see much kids unless they’re coming from school, which even then it disgusts me seeing them laughing together because they think it’s a good time that lasts for only 3 days.

My stupid subconscious may crave hope for one friend now that it’s a neighborhood, but I don’t like it. It’s proven wrong many times with horrid “SMALL TALK”, so I don’t believe it. I wish I had one person who would just leave me alone in this thought, and they’d agree. Too bad they’re not real. The Saya to me, the Fuminori. I wish I had a person who’d share this vision with me, and love me for thinking the same. They’d love me for hating this pathetic world, because they do too. I don’t care if it’s not healthy, if it isn’t, what’s the point of “health”? Humans are shits anyways. Why should I care if I want something better if it doesn’t exist? It’s like wanting a unicorn, it’s not real. Why search someone so fucking fake? My stupid self is that, stupid for wanting better, for believing they exist, for wanting to have another go and thinking that maybe moving a good idea. I’m tougher for saying it isn’t and being rigid. It’s immature of me to maybe look out for more, when there isn’t.

Too bad now in a few days I'm gonna go to a dumb dance class I only said yes to from mom is to please her. I don't believe I'm a good dancer, even fi the teacher said to mom I did an "advanced dance lesson" better than beginners. That's a fucking lie! I don't believe you because I don't believe myself! Those kids didn't laugh to seem respectful, they aren't being honest, they're trying to fake niceness. Just like fucking life. Where the pros treat the new guy with pity, I don't need fucking pity, I want people to berate me because that's honesty to me! And when someone hates the world and wants to burn it as much as I do, I'd be more than friends, because we share the same true vision of the "Earth". Too bad school itself is gonna start day after tomorrow, because guess what, there's the fucking rigged system! The ruler, the principal, may claim we are a united body, but we're all divided into cliques and crews, fuck her. I hope she suffers a painful death with HIV. Fuck the future, fuck the adults, and fuck anyone who isn't a Saya! Fuck!

In my workplace, I stand out as the only individual who's not biologically male. My daily tasks involve unloading and arranging shipments efficiently. It's worth noting that the team did include other genders before, but the current group mainly joined a few months after my arrival.

Lately, tensions have been high, particularly due to the behavior of one of my colleagues who reacts poorly when things don't go his way. His reactions range from hurling boxes to disappearing for long stretches, leaving early, or blatantly refusing to assist when we're swamped—which is frequently a challenge given the volume of items for specific sections.

It seems this coworker, along with a few others, consistently exclude myself and another veteran team member from receiving help, something even our manager has noticed and discussed separately with us due to its impact on our output.

Over the last couple of weeks, these same colleagues have taken it upon themselves to critique my methods. Just last night, the situation escalated. I typically manage my designated area quite well solo if I begin during the loading process. However, due to a lack of staff, my tasks had to start post-unloading, requiring me, unfortunately, to work alongside the problematic colleague. He insists on a meticulous, resource-heavy approach, which I find unnecessarily slow. After expressing my disagreement and opting to continue with my usual method, he lingered briefly before disappearing once again.

During a break, a different colleague subtly broached the earlier dispute. After a light-hearted mishap with a box placement on my part, he questioned my teamwork spirit, eliciting a response from me that highlighted my unchanged work ethic and my year-long track record of successful collaborative work, which seemed stronger with previous teams.

His next question took me aback: "What if I became your boss?" I stressed that I would respect his authority just as I respect our current team lead—it was a matter of hierarchy rather than personal judgments. This conversation was partially overheard by our team lead, who agreed with my stance on respecting authority but didn’t delve deeper.

Despite this, the air amongst my teammates is thick with disapproval, leaving me puzzled, as I’ve never encountered such resistance with other groups or in earlier roles. It does make me question whether I'm somewhat at fault here.

Considering if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, the dynamics could indeed intensify. Viewers might be split, with some sympathizing with my adherence to efficiency and others perhaps siding with my colleagues who favor conformity and heavily coordinated teamwork. Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, and the added pressure and drama could definitely skew perceptions even further, turning a workplace dispute into a saga of alliances and rivalries.

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

In July 2023, my husband Eric and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Prior to her birth, around Christmas 2022, we had shared our pregnancy news, and both our families were overjoyed. Becoming a mother has been a lifelong dream of mine. Eric’s father, who co-owns a successful multi-million dollar business across multiple states, was particularly thrilled. He showed his support by giving us $4,000 to assist with the medical expenses and for our baby's needs.

Due to regulations in our state, one cannot open a bank account without a Social Security number, which our unborn daughter didn’t have at the time. Thus, we agreed to temporarily keep the funds in our joint bank account. I rarely monitor this account as it's primarily managed at my husband’s bank. All medical expenses associated with our daughter's birth were paid from my HSA account, entirely by me. Later, I opened a bank account for our daughter at my bank, where my dad ended up being the trustee because Eric missed the paperwork deadline.

Recently, while driving home from a function, I brought up the topic of the $4,000, mentioning that I’d like to transfer it to our daughter’s proper account now that she’s a year old. To my confusion, Eric insisted that I had used those funds for the medical bills, claiming they were transferred into my personal account. I clearly proved otherwise by showing him my account history. He then admitted if the money was in the joint account, it was spent on purchasing hunting land—an expenditure I had never approved.

Eric dismissed my concerns, labeling me as ridiculous for even questioning the usage of the money and asserted that our daughter isn’t entitled to it since it was meant for her medical and care expenses—a cost he barely contributes towards. I cover 75% of our daycare expenses and all our grocery and formula/milk bills. Our daughter is also on my healthcare plan, given the poor quality of the plan offered by his family's business. While we split our mortgage payments equally, I had fully paid the down payment. My financial burdens have been mounting, making it a struggle to transfer funds regularly into our daughter’s account; I've been managing to set aside $150 from each paycheck to save for her future needs like college or a car.

This confrontation led me to firmly tell him that this wasn’t a matter of asking—he needed to verify where those funds went.

Imagine if such a family dispute were broadcasted on a reality show. The audience reaction would likely range from sympathy for the wife's responsible financial handling to criticism of the husband’s neglect and disregard for agreed-upon financial plans. Reality shows thrive on conflict, and this situation presents enough tension and moral questioning that it could become a focal point of an episode, drawing viewers to take sides and engage emotionally.

I would love to know if I am being unreasonable for insisting Eric trace the missing money.

idk if im gay or bi or straight or just confused. like i see this one boy in my school and he smile at me and my brain went all like fuzzy?? not like when i look at girls sometimes idk it just feel different. not better or worse just weird. i dont like hate myself or nothing but i feel like i wanna know what this is. i try look at girls the same way but it not same feeling even tho i still think they look pretty. my friends always talk about girls like oh she's hot or whatever and i laugh along but i feel kinda fake. like why i dont feel that strong? but then again maybe i do just not same time or same way. my brain go all confuse when i try think hard. i seen some gay stuff online too and some of it make me feel things, like not bad things just kinda like oh that’s nice, and i dont know if that mean something or if it just a normal thing like people curious. i read that some people just need time to figure and that you not gonna have all answers at once so maybe that’s me too;

i talk to my cousin once, he gay and he said it took him years to know. he said don’t rush and just feel what you feel, don’t push it away but don’t force nothing either. he nice and i trust him but still i scared to even say to friends or anything. they not bad people just always making jokes like calling stuff gay like it’s dumb or weak or something and that make me not wanna say stuff even if i maybe gay. i don’t feel ashamed or like i’m doing wrong but i also don’t wanna be laughed at or treated weird. i think about future too and if i wanna have a boyfriend or girlfriend and it feel like both could maybe happen?? but also neither maybe?? is that even a thing? like not choosing or just feeling okay with both and letting it go where it go. i wish school teach this stuff better instead of just making us read poems from old dead guys. we got feelings too and not everyone feel same and that okay. sometimes i just wanna talk and say all this out loud but my throat close up like i scared of my own voice.

i still don’t have answer. maybe i never will get a big moment where i’m like “oh now i know”. maybe it gonna be little stuff adding up and one day i’ll just feel okay with whatever i am. for now i think it's fine to wonder and not know for sure. maybe you reading this feel same and that okay too. i’m just trying my best to be honest with myself and not hate anything i feel. i wanna like who i like and be okay with that. life already hard enough without me hating my own heart. so i gonna keep thinking and living and hoping that things get clearer. and maybe one day i’ll smile at someone and they smile back and it just make sense. 😊

i dont even kno why i keep tryin. like, at this point, i should just accept it—im a failure. 27 years old, nothin to show for it. no degree, no career, no apartment, no gf, not even a decent group of friends. i look around and see people my age getting married, buying houses, moving forward. and me? im back in my childhood bedroom, surrounded by old posters and dust, feelin like im 15 again, except now theres no excuses. back then, people said "you have time, you'll figure it out" but now, now they just avoid the subject. my parents don’t even ask about my future anymore, they just look at me like i’m a lost cause. and honestly? maybe they’re right.

i tried, man. i really tried. i went to college, failed out. switched majors, failed again. tried a trade school, couldn’t keep up. then i thought maybe i could do somthin with my hands, construction, mechanics, whatever, but i sucked at that too. everyone always says "just find your passion" but what if i dont have one?? what if im just bad at everything? no matter what i start, it falls apart. and it’s not just school, it’s life in general. i never had a real girlfriend, never had that "group of bros" everyone talks about. people just drift away, like im forgettable, like im not worth stayin friends with. nd after a while, i stopped tryin to make new ones bc whats the point?? every time i meet people, they’re just temporary. no one stays.

and now im stuck here, in this house, in this town, with nothin to my name. i cant afford my own place, cant even hold a job for long before messin it up. i see my parents whisperin sometimes, like they don’t wanna say it out loud but i kno theyre thinking it—what the hell happened to our son? nd i dont even have an answer for them. im just stuck. trapped in my own uselessness. nd the worst part? i want to do better. i wanna be the guy who moves out, gets a job, gets a life. but every time i try, i fail. and at some point, it just breaks you, u kno? like, how many times can someone start over before they realize theres nothin left to start??

i wake up every day feeling like whats the point. not in a dramatic way, not like im gonna do somthin crazy, but just in a numb way. like, im just existin. breathing, eating, sleeping, repeat. no goals, no future, just surviving because my body still works. nd i kno people will say "just keep going" but goin where?? i got nowhere to go. nd every time i try, the universe slaps me back down like nah bro, this ain’t for you.

maybe some people are just not meant to make it. maybe not everyone has some "hidden potential" waiting to be unlocked. maybe some of us are just... failures. bc thats what i am. no dreams, no direction, just some loser takin up space in a house thats not even mine. nd i dont kno if thatll ever change.

i dont get it. like fr why everyone in my family gotta be so mean to me all the time?? i aint even do nothin and still they act like im the worst person in the house. my mom always yellin, my dad dont even look at me half the time, and my brother’s just rude for no reason. i wake up and its already attitude from the second i walk in the kitchen. like, if i ask for something simple like if theres any cereal left, my mom's like “go look yourself” with that tone like she already mad at me for just breathing. why they always act like im the problm?? i swear i try to stay outta the way, i stay in my room most days just chillin or listenin to music but still when i come out its like instant drama.

i be helpin around the house too. i clean my room, i do the dishes even when its not my turn, nd still they find sumthin to complain about. if i put the spoon in the wrong drawer, its like the end of the world or somethin. my dad once told me “you cant do anything right” just cause i forgot to take out the trash one night. like fr?? ONE night. nd he talk to me like i failed at life or sumthin. my brother, don’t even get me started, he be callin me names every chance he gets. annoying, stupid, crybaby... nd my parents don’t say nothing. they just laugh like its funny. well it aint.

sometimes i think maybe i was adopted or somethin, like how else do u explain it? they all so close with each other. laughin at the table, goin out places without me, sharin inside jokes. nd im just... there. invisible. or worse, the target. i tried to ask my mom once, like, why yall always treat me like im the enemy? nd she said “stop makin everything about you.” like, bruh, i only asked cause im tired of feelin like trash in my own house. is that too much?? to want to feel loved in ur own damn family?

school aint much better but at least there, some ppl smile at me. even if they fake, at least they fake nice. at home, i get nothin. no hugs, no “how was ur day,” not even a “good night.” just silence or sarcasm. nd if i say anything back, they say im disrespectful. like sorry for having feelings i guess?? they make me feel like im a burdden. like they’d be better off without me there. nd sometimes, late at night, i start thinkin maybe they're right. maybe i am the problem and dont even kno it. maybe im just broken in some way that makes ppl not wanna be around me.

but then i remember, im just a kid. im only 15. i didnt ask to be here, i didnt choose this family. nd i shouldnt have to beg for basic kindness. im not askin for them to buy me stuff or give me everything i want. i just want respect. some love. someone to say “i see you” instead of makin me feel like a ghost. if i ever become a mom, i swear imma treat my kids like they matter. i wont let them go to bed feelin unloved like i do most nights. i want to break whatever this is, this cycle of meaness that they think is normal.

i dont even kno what to do anymore. talkin dont work, cryin dont help, stayin silent just makes them act like nothin’s wrong. maybe one day i’ll move out and things’ll change. maybe they’ll miss me when im gone. or maybe they wont. maybe they’ll just keep goin like i was never there. all i kno is, i can’t keep holdin all this in forever. it hurts too much. nd im tired of pretendin it dont. so if ur readin this n u ever felt the same way, like ur own family don't even like u... ur not alone. i feel it too. every day. every damn day.