Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

My brother-in-law recently approached me with a request for his birthday - he wanted me to buy him a new bed. It's been a struggle for him financially; he shares an apartment with our mother-in-law and barely makes ends meet. His monthly income is around $1,000 at best, and he often can't cover his share of the rent. He holds a job at a local fast food joint, working merely 16 hours a week over two days, and he resists the idea of picking up more shifts. He says the job exacerbates his anxiety, particularly because his manager doesn’t allow him to listen to music or use his mobile phone during shifts, which he feels infringes on his personal freedoms.

When he called, he also mentioned a list of desired birthday gifts that he circulates annually among family members (he's 24, mind you), with the bed being a top priority since he’s been sleeping on a sofa ever since he moved back in with his mother. While I didn’t mind the idea of spending $200 on the bed, his financial management seemed questionable.

This became evident when I learned that he was planning a lavish week-long trip to Universal Studios, aiming to save up $3,000 for it the following year. Needless to say, I was taken abreed. The juxtaposition of his financial struggles with his ambitious vacation plans didn't sit right with me. I confronted him about his priorities, suggesting he reallocate his fun fund towards something as necessary as a bed. Though I am comfortably off, making a six-figure salary myself, the principle of the matter irked me - seeking aid while saving for an extravagant trip seemed irrational.

I withdrew my offer to buy the bed, letting him know that he needs to rethink his spending habits. Am I an ass for doing this? Should I have just bought the bed and ignored his questionable financial ethics?

Imagine this scenario being played out on a reality TV show. The tensions and moral debates would surely make for dramatic television, sparking debates among viewers. Would the audience side with me in thinking his request was unreasonable given his saving goals, or would they perceive my decision as too harsh?

I keep overthinking on the very tiniest stuffs. Even a small thing makes me thinking for like a whole day or two and genuinely my whole day gets messy and I can't focus on other stuffs except that. Today I was asked a question during my class and atfirst I simply answered, I didn't understand when sir said to ask extra stuffs. It was the stuffs I knew but I simply didn't understand at the moment so I just told him I didn't understand and so when he asked someone beside me I understood what he was asking about and as my classmate beside me didn't answer I reached out to sir and gave some answers in that moment I still misunderstood his question but I did understand later and told the answer and there was one question I was confused about so I just didn't say anything and as an introverted person I feel scared to talk infront of the whole class and the moment I was answering other people were looking at me and smirking. I could literally see them, even though I answered some stuffs I was scolded by sir like I know I'm dumb but I did answer some stuffs and so the fact that some people were looking at me and kinda laughing not laughing in exact way, is it cuz I'm dumb??? Like I'm not as smart as them but am I really that stupid and dumb?? This is what I overthought whole day and I'm still thinking about this today. And the fact that I called out sir to tell the answer after I understood what he was asking was it really wrong of me? Was I being desparate ???? I really wanna stop overthinking about this kinda stuffs but I can't. This is the first time this has happened, many times not only in class but even with the people I'm close it I start to overthink their actions and what they think about me. I really wanna stop being this............

Hi, my name is Onyx. My friend called me a pick me for venting and just trying to get people to recognize that I'm struggling both mentally and emotionally. To give some context, this friend and I have been friends for a year. I had made food for them, supported them through hard times, bought them stuff, and used my money to buy and help them out with stuff. I'm wanting to know if I'm the pick me for Venting to this friend as well as some mutual friends of ours about what's going on at home and what I've been struggling with. Am I in the wrong here?

My husband and I have been married for three years. From our dating days, his mother, Julia, would often sneer at me and our relationship with her son, Daniel. The day we first met, she inquired about my hometown and upon my response, dismissively remarked, "We don't take kindly to people from there." As time progressed, Julia critiqued Daniel for the flowers he bought for me, ridiculed our date nights, and even attempted to sideline me during family gatherings by insisting they were for 'family only.' When Daniel and I went on vacations, she bombarded him with calls and messages, questioning why he hadn't checked on her or fabricating crises. Daniel often downplayed her actions by saying he had become accustomed to her manipulative behavior.

Over our three years of dating, Julia started to soften her approach towards me. It was an unexpected shift, and though skeptical, I was relieved to see less confrontation. When we got engaged, the proposal filled us with joy. However, telling Julia resulted in a scornful glare directed at me, followed by an accusation towards Daniel for not informing her first. Post-engagement, we reduced our interactions with her considerably.

As we began planning our wedding, Julia's attitude took a harsh turn as she sent extensive messages full of scorn and allegations to both Daniel and myself. She accused me of being disliked and Daniel of selfishness for proceeding with a wedding she disapproved of. Pushed to his limit, Daniel confronted her, stating that continuing this behavior would lead to us cutting off all contact. In response, she resorted to spreading falsehoods among her family and even doctored text messages, painting Daniel and me in a negative light. This resulted in his family siding with her and choosing to skip our wedding. The truth about her deception surfaced after our wedding when Daniel’s sister began to question inconsistencies in Julia’s stories. Eventually, the extended family learned about the manipulation and approached Daniel seeking reconciliation, which was challenging due to the depth of their betrayal. Since then, we have completely ceased contact with Julia.

Recently, I encountered her at a store. She approached me, attempting to engage in casual conversation. I sternly told her, "Just so we're clear, you and Daniel have been nonexistent to me for three years. That's not going to change, so stop talking to me." She was visibly upset and left immediately. Following this, Daniel's family has been urging us to forgive her, labeling me harsh and condemning my inability to forgive a mistake that happened three years ago.

Imagine if this drama unfolded on a reality show! The tension would certainly capture the audience's attention, sparking debates among viewers about whether my confrontation with Julia was justified or overly harsh. The intense family dynamics and the pivotal store confrontation would potentially be pivotal episodes that highlight the struggle between personal boundaries and family pressure to reconcile.

Am my being too unforgiving toward Julia?

Recently, I've been under the weather with what seems like a cold, and my partner, Emily, handed me some homeopathic remedies to help out. I ended up not taking them because I'm convinced that homeopathy is ineffective, simply offering sugar pills instead of real treatment. Emily was quite upset by this and called me narrow-minded.

When I mentioned the situation to my mom, she also felt that homeopathy wasn’t scientifically sound but suggested I could have just accepted Emily’s gesture or refused more tactfully since those sugar pills wouldn’t have harmed me. From my perspective, taking them would only reinforce the misconception of their efficacy, especially when I naturally recover, and Emily credits the homeopathic "medicine".

Was my reaction unjustified?

Imagine if this were all playing out on a reality show. Cameras rolling, capturing every detail of the disagreement between Emily and me, not to mention the family input. Viewers would probably be divided. Some might applaud sticking to scientific principles, while others might criticize the lack of compromise in a relationship. It would definitely stir up some drama!

TL;DR: Jess and James have been together a little over 1.5 years and argue weekly. Their arguments always have the same root cause of poor communication and I am frustrated with how they get third parties (like a parent) to help solve their problems. (Bonus rant at the bottom)

Context: Let's go with the names Jess for the girlfriend and James for the boyfriend. I am James' older brother's girlfriend. We're all college kids. Jess and James have been dating a little over 1.5 years. They will be together for 2 years this upcoming fall. This will be James' first real long-term relationship. Jess has a chronic health condition that she recently got a temporary, but long-term treatment for. James lives closer to the parent's home and can visit more frequently. James also used to be a super intense guy who was irrational, but after he got on a different kind of medication and got older, he has mellowed out so much.

The Problem: I don't know what is with these two, but every time they come home (either for a hospital visit, holiday, or just visiting the family), there is an 90 to 95% chance that they will argue, and if not that day, give them a couple days and something will blow up. And when I say argue, I don't mean a "What do you want to eat" kind of argument; I mean a full blown, super emotional and intense kind of argument where James is yelling and Jess is crying and sometimes yelling. The worst part is, a lot of these arguments happen late at night and because it is so late, a lot of the times, the dad is mediating/intervening, whatever you want to call it.

But because of how often the dad intervenes, I think Jess got so comfortable that she sometimes seeks the dad to solve their problem. I say this because recently they came home and got into an argument, Jess asked me where the dad was. I really didn't want to answer because the dad is gets pulled in so many directions already and I want him to take care of himself more, but also that in the future she will involve me more, but I did anyway.

I also want to mention that I am only at the parent's place for holidays and summers. But from what I know, this happens frequently throughout the school year and not only at my boyfriend's parent's house, but I also got word from Jess' mom that they argue at her place too.

This has been an ongoing issue since day one. They argue multiple times in a month and possibly multiple times in a week (in worse cases they argue multiple times in a day). I am so sick of hearing them argue whenever they come home that I some times wish they don't. To double down, their argument has always been the same issue. At least the same root issue; James does not like how Jess communicates (or a lack of) with him because it sounds like she isn't actually listening to him. It has always been the same problem, just different spices.

I just want to know how often does a normal healthy couple argue? And especially if it's the same problem because these two are the most dysfunctional couple I have ever met.

Bonus Rant: I was ok with Jess before because she seemed mature back then, but now I am just annoyed with her. My boyfriend wants a close relationship with James and they both bond through video games, but I cannot tell you how many times Jess has sabotaged their time together. They plan to play together on a day and then James gets a call from Jess, "Can you please come over?" and if James tries to explain to her that he set aside time for my boyfriend she just begs him. There was a day where she texted my boyfriend something along the lines of: "Hey, James wanted me to text you that he won't be on tonight because I begged him to stay the night lol" and when my boyfriend showed me that, I was so angry.

Just recently my boyfriend and I got party game to play with James. Jess called him, and he said "Hey, I'm playing with them, and I'm going to win this game" joking and having fun. Jess seemed disinterested and just said "ok, I love you". No joke, like 2 minutes later she calls James, asking him to get his dad because her head hurt. James said that his dad may be asleep and she was quick to say he isn't because he just texted her. Then James was like, why don't you call him, and she just said "Please go get him".

Like I don't want to disregard her condition because I know it is very real, but sometimes I feel like she uses her condition as a crutch for her stupid behavior. And also, if you are already texting, there is no problem to just call the man yourself. Her condition isn't bad enough that she can't talk, move, or do things for herself, because I have seen her talk for hours, I have seen her be active, and I have seen her do stuff around by herself when James is not around. I don't know what her problem is with James gaming with his brother, but if it is jealousy, it is a nasty one.

I don't wanna feel a thing. Talking about makes me sick. You've got therapy and I"ve got no regrets. Yesterday I slept till sunset. Woke up on my bedroom floor again. I can't even count on half the people that I call my friends. Rolling through another blackout. I don't gotta act like I'm ok. Everything got better when I realized nothing matters anyway. I don't want your bad advice. Keep that baggage to yourself. I could show the whole world my scars. But that'd probably scare them all away. I would rather take another hit, put on a band-aid. I need help. I NEED HELP. I'm too STUBBORN to ask myself. I'm so tired, I'm unwell. I'm too broken to fix myself...

Don't know how much more I can take

I just know that I need to get better.

My life’s been horrible since my parents died when I was like— 15 or smt

They died from a plane crash :/ yes so tragic, I wish this was a fictional story bc I went through way too much while living. I raised my brother ( practically ), he was just 4 or 5 when the incident happened;;;

Ok and now he got cancer— heart cancer level 4– and if the dear doctors had the guts to actually take care of him rather than scam me for money, maybe my life would’ve been so much better.

Yet this girl had the audacity to show up in my life like bro’s crazy or smt— she was yandere asf but luckily didn’t kill ppl— I guess that made my 1st year of university trouble

But hey now I’m in the police agency and I have a boyfriend :/ but guess what? Fate had to make my life worse by making this criminal send him into coma— we don’t even know when it will end

And worse of worst, my brother died last week ;(

Tbh I would just like to die rn or shiz, but I swear I’ve gone through a case where this teen’s sister committed suicide, I saw the look of sadness in his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to commit as well

So I guess destiny made me have financial problems and loss problems like wtf is even wrong with my life?

I feel like I'm in an environment where my ability to socialize with others is disregarded, and on top of that, my closest friends and family struggle due to the prejudices others foster as a result of such circumstances. People don't usually appreciate these analyses I conduct to explain what's happening, and psychotherapists have become part of the group.

I like this way of life, but I haven't received any support to fully consolidate it. Support is always a camouflage to force me to abandon it, in a blatant way. The whole effort is to make me achieve what I was helped to achieve, given that the problems I identified as such are no longer pointed out but now begin to view them in a pleasing light, which is what I feel the therapeutic work I've attended was all about.

I can't deny that I feel disappointed by society. My family struggled to contain me, and I always tried to adapt according to the circumstances, without predetermining and consolidating a certain personality in order to defend it. Outside, there were also these difficulties, to the point where others either abandoned me or established a distant and superficial relationship. The times they've tolerated me, it's because they had no other choice, and the times they've resorted to influencing me to adapt, it's because they haven't seen any other way either. All of this is always aimed at achieving stability within the environment for the group I belong to, rather than consolidating their personality within it through defensiveness. In itself, everything has consisted of complacency with the environment, as my family pointed out, which makes me feel like I'm among people who are incapable of reinforcing their identity as a group. This is something I find regrettable and terrifying, because we are always at the mercy of others, and their movements can occur at any moment, and consequently, any other. Therefore, in itself, it speaks to the lack of stability other than that provided by the environment itself, and that, again, speaks to a lack of tools for self-preservation.

I would like to be part of groups capable of reinforcing the presence of their personality in the environment, and not in those that are weakly structured and therefore provide a false sense of stability only provided by the environment. This makes me see the origin of those who go with the flow, and indeed, it seems that groups of this nature are the ones that populate the earth, at least within the country where I live.

Frankly, this type of spirit is not the example of someone who, I suspect, will sooner or later come back to me, so I feel it is necessary to seek out groups with such a capacity for reinforcement, and of course, that do not rely on popularity or a position of power, which are the elements on which some groups rely to maintain their way of being in the face of change. Indeed, it is necessary to make observations, at least in note format, to arrive at a systematic approach, but first, it begins with examining the material at hand.

It seems unbelievable, but I'm in love. As I unburden myself to her in these terrible ways, I find light in the way I see her as attractive. I no longer distance myself, and I confess, out of prejudice. Which surprises me, really. You don't know where your mind is going in this business. One moment you think one way and the next you think another. It's as if I still can't appreciate how beautiful the moments with her were.

Unfortunately, not everything is wonderful. She reminds me of a girl I knew from college who fell in love with me and did everything she could to prevent it. In a crazy way, too, with the same people from the university supporting her. Her priority was her life before her feelings; that's how separated the issue was. In other words, her life was governed by her feelings; in fact, she had buried them in order to be with others, others enjoying themselves, and herself relaxing. What a miserable life, frankly. How can it be done? She ran away from her crush. Who knows if this is her first crush?

How many times does one fall in love in life? And the girlfriend overrides those feelings? How can that be? How is it possible that an entire university prioritized a union over a crush? This already shows that no one cares about who they are, only about maintaining order. What macabre selfishness. And they did everything possible to keep me in that same line, to destabilize me, to be at the mercy of suggestion, hiding the truth. Even my entourage participated in this. Is it fair? I don't think so at all.

We appeased, we sent that girl's feelings to earth unfairly. She had the right to be in love. Now, being in love will also identify with problems, given that after her mistreatment, which resulted in violence, I had to call a psychologist because I was the one who received her, supported by her people, even outside the university. Is this fair? We buried this girl's feelings. The simple fact of experiencing them, in a way, the way she had, sent her to hell. How could we be like that with her? And the worst part is that she's the one who told me to get out of her life when others had influenced me. Furthermore, she continues with the people who influenced her and who influenced me to such an extent. Furthermore, she influenced me with her violence. Is it really fair? Is it really fair that this girl can't experience feelings?

So, we all wash our hands. Everyone does what she wants and that's it, all to get out of the mess. No one admits responsibility, of course. In my case, I was over the moon, I couldn't admit any responsibility, but she even understood that. That thing with her was a disaster; it was a game with her feelings, an outrage, it wasn't fair. The worst part is that she defended me just so I'd leave. I remember seeing her with her hand trembling in front of me. Of course, I didn't trust her or anyone around her either. I was on my own, it was always like that, and they assumed it wasn't like that, who knows why, and then she had to push me away because of that assumption. But what a disaster it feels like.

In short, in that situation, what mattered more was order, everyone going their separate ways, the girl and me talking, than anything else. Everyone there was safe, except for her, who had given birth and was in the worst possible situation. Why didn't anyone do anything? Why didn't that university do anything if it even had a psychologist? Forty days had passed, and I couldn't believe that girl was like that, and on top of that, with the others all making bad faces, wanting to make her feel worse, since I'm capable of going to the necessary legal extremes. Is this fair? How selfish of all of us. No one cares about anyone.

How is this girl going to express her feelings now? Her feelings, the only way she had of expressing them, the only loving way, were sent to hell, and she didn't know what to do. Why did we have to be this way with her? Of course, I had to protect myself from her. Also, the question: Why did I include myself in this? If I was violated, I was incapacitated, and in addition to protecting myself from others, I had to safeguard my physical and perhaps even physical integrity. Why do I include myself in this mess? I have no business being in that mess.

What I observe, first, is that those around me encouraged my going to the psychologist, given the game with expectations—I was always congruent—no one supported what that girl felt—I did—and also always buried her feelings—I never did that. This is an environment that does not give rise to emotions and on top of that makes their expression grotesque as a result of this, when finding a chance, it becomes aggressive and therefore distancing the person from possibility and consequently, this makes it an absorbing environment and blurs the person because we are according to feelings, without them we are also something but given to Machiavellianism, that is, there are intentions behind it, and therefore she's not a person evolving, but completely out of step with the reality embodied in her psyche. Given this, I fully supported her.

That said, then, how can it be that I was the only one who supported that girl? How is it possible that I was the only one? Why didn't anyone else do it? Why am I the only one who has to act for her health? Out of respect for her? Does this even make sense? Furthermore, acting at all costs according to her decisions, whatever they may be, a question that I even had to make methodological. Why does it have to be this way? Why did I have to go to such extremes? I don't understand. Does no one want to take care of her, and only me, but going to such extremes and thus pushing her away? Why did this have to happen? Why should the only person who supports her be the one who has to distance herself, while those who aren't closest to her are left behind? It's not fair. No wonder she revealed herself to them! I'm already becoming somewhat aware of the situation, and she became aware of it before the second-to-last time I saw her.

How hard it was for me to recognize that she had become aware of the situation. Furthermore, it was a truly tyrannical effort for her. How would she feel if she didn't? Naturally, she explodes in anger and takes advantage of the situation, because she can't stand it anymore. After I brought her to the psychotherapist, she couldn't stand it anymore. It was going to result in the typical bias: she yells at me, explodes, and I say this is such and such. Fortunately, that girl trusted the wisdom of my decisions. It's not just about looking after her feelings, but also about setting boundaries, which is also about looking after them, given that she looks after me and her in an egalitarian and non-burdensome way for both of us, which allows us to be in this relationship. That relationship never ended. However, I must admit, I don't feel like I'm in love with her, under any circumstances.

With her, I admit it, I only supported her feelings as much as I could, as much as she allowed. The fact that she was in love with me was something I had to value because she considered me for a life with me, and I think that's a great honor, not a cause for annoyance or unworthiness in any sphere. I consider her feelings sacred in every way, and they should be treated that way, not with masks or anything like that, complacency or anything like that. I feel that I prevented the same thing they did to me with her. From what I can say from that experience, she was a responsible, fair person, constantly expanding her prudence, managing to uphold these values ​​even in conditions that were impossible for many people.

Meanwhile, I continue my love affair, which, frankly, I see is reciprocal. Fortunately. I hope to do things well.

I have major mental health and anger issues! I’ve tried to seek help online and people always try to patronise me and fix me until things get difficult and negative or “toxic”. It honestly just pisses me off! Suck people should be in no position to help me

While reviewing house blueprints for a submission to the town hall, I was startled by a question from my wife. We have a piece of land in Minnesota— an acre, planned for a house with four bedrooms: one for us, one for each of our two children, and an extra as a game room. Unexpectedly, she asked, "Where will my family stay?"

She had previously assured her family that they'd be moving in with us, which I never agreed to, and her sudden accusation that I only think about myself caught me off guard. Now, she's so upset that she's considering selling the land just to make a statement.

Let me provide some background here. The land is co-owned by both my wife and myself, bought with the life insurance money received after the tragic loss of our one-year-old daughter in 2021. Since then, I've secured employment with a federal government contractor in manufacturing, which has been very beneficial for us.

Her family does not possess any legal claims or rights over our property. Recently, I was contacted by the town's registrar concerning some queries about "ownership change" for our plot. To clarify, we have two parcels of land. I even suggested selling one of the plots to her siblings at the current market rate, but she refused.

When it comes to financing, I will be covering the costs of the house. I also mentioned constructing an Accessory Dwelling Unit (ADU) for her family, but stated they would need to pay rent at the standard market rate— approximately $900 per room. However, she turned down this proposal as well.

I'm now considering a drastic measure: moving my share of the land into a trust benefiting our children, with specific directives that only direct descendants can build and reside there.

Am I wrong here? It feels like I’m trying to find a fair compromise, but nothing seems to satisfy.

If my dilemma were on a reality TV show, the audience might be split. Some might sympathize with my wife's desire to keep her family close, especially after such a profound loss like ours. Others might side with me, seeing the steps I'm taking to secure a stable and structured environment for our immediate family, while still providing reasonable options for additional familial support. The discussions and debates would likely stir quite a reaction!

What should I do about the family land issue?

I've just started using this app, so I'm still figuring it out, and I'm sorry if my English isn't that good, it's not my first language.

I don't know who to tell or how to handle it, but lately I've been really stressed and I feel weird. My chest aches all day and doesn't seem to stop. I think part of it is because of school. I live in Switzerland and attend the so-called "Gymnasium." It's a pretty hard and challenging school. Lately, I've been feeling scared. I'm currently on holiday, but I start shaking and feel like I'm suffocating when I just think about going back. I haven't had the best experiences, a few weeks ago, my teacher humiliated me in front of the whole class. We had to do a group presentation and used ChatGPT because we didn't have enough time. He started calling me stupid and incapable of finishing school, and he continued to mock me. It was embarrassing, and he refused to let me sit back down; he kept me in the front of the class as he went on calling me stupid, saying I don't even understand shit about what's going on. And one thing you all must know: I'm a huge crybaby and really sensitive, so I had to sit in class for 40 minutes trying not to cry. Something like that happened again, I just get screamed at and humiliated even though I try my best. I feel scared to go back and make mistakes. Another reason is the huge amount of exams. I feel like my parents paid so much, so I can't disappoint them. It's all gotten so much that I feel too scared to study, go to school, or write exams. I also came across the thought that if I just killed myself, it would all be gone and everything would be better. This thought didn't cross my mind for the first time, I always struggle with it, but recently it's been getting more frequent, and I'm really damn scared of it. The feeling of not being good enough, the thoughts, the stress, they make me exhausted. I only sleep, barely eat, and I've started losing a lot of hair, like chunks come out as soon as I brush it once. I don't know what to do or how to make it stop; it just hurts so, so much. And even though my issues might seem like minor issues to you, I'm really struggling, especially since I can't talk to anyone. When I feel overwhelmed and cry, my parents scream at me, no hug, nothing, and threaten to take me out of school, saying I'm mentally unstable (as an insult) and that no one would want me like this. It hurts. I can't go to my mom or my friends when I need support. So if you guys have any tips on how I can handle all this, it would be nice if you could tell me.

We dated for so long and i loved him so much and he loved me and we were absolutely perfect together he told me he’ll love me forever then decides to break up with me and it hurts so much watching him move on and love someone else and forget about me like what about me what about what we had was i not special to you how could you do this to me i just want you

Am I polysexual? Still figuring it out... Living in a collocation with five other people has definitely made me question a lot about myself, especially when it comes to attraction. Before moving in, I thought I had it all figured out: boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, end of story, right? But then I started realizing that my feelings weren’t always that simple. One of my roommates, a girl, made my heart race just as much as this guy I met at a party last week. And then there’s another roommate, non-binary, who I just click with in a way I can’t even explain. It got me thinking… maybe I’m not just into guys, but also not fully pan? I started looking into it, and that’s when I found the term polysexual... attracted to multiple genders, but not necessarily all. And honestly? It feels like the closest thing to what I’ve been experiencing.

But figuring this out hasn’t been easy. It’s weird, because I feel like I should have known myself by now, but every time I try to label it, my brain goes into overdrive. What if I’m just confused? What if it’s just a phase? But then again, what if it’s not? I’ve been scared to even bring it up with my friends because I don’t want them to think I’m making it up or looking for attention. I know sexuality isn’t something you have to define perfectly, but I also want to understand myself better. Right now, all I know is that I feel something real, and maybe being polysexual is part of who I am. I’m still figuring it out, but for once, I don’t feel like I have to rush to have all the answers.