Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hi guys,

Growing up, I endured mistreatment from one of my parents. When I opened up about it, my parents separated, and the abusive parent moved out. We stayed in the same apartment, I started therapy, and life moved on.

Still, I struggled with nightmares and flashbacks, particularly triggered by my bedroom. I requested to change rooms or at least rearrange mine, but my family refused.

This discomfort persisted, and I left home as soon as possible. Even now, visiting my family makes me uneasy, a feeling that intensified after I reported the abuse in 2021 and had to recount the details of the apartment.

Now, I stay with a friend during visits.

My mother recently acquired her aunt's apartment nearby and is fervently renovating it. She often sends me photos of the progress. While I get why she wants to share, I feel resentful that there was never such excitement about updating my own space or moving while I was there. She claimed we couldn't afford to move then, but now she's taking on significant debt, which might even fall on me, as she's buying the flat to finance her aunt's care.

Compounding my distress, my mother approached the friend I stay with to rent our old apartment. It feels like I'm losing my safe haven to the shadows of my past.

To others, it may just be a series of new beginnings, and perhaps to some, an apartment is just that. My mother argues that I'm being unreasonable and insists everything is fresh and free of past burdens. She believes I should wait and see once renovations are complete. I've explained that it doesn't feel that way to me and asked her to dial back on the renovation updates, but she hasn't adjusted her approach.

What hits differently is how people's indifference makes me feel isolated. If I were on a reality show, viewers might see just how deep these "renovations" cut and could better understand why I can't just let go of the past as easily as they're redecorating.

Am I wrong for letting my emotions show and for telling her instead of acting thrilled for everyone else's sake?

I swear, sometimes I think my parents just want me to be miserable. Like, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough. If I get a B on a test, they like "why not an A?" If I actually get an A, they say "Well, was probably an easy test, right?" Like, can you just say good job for once??? And then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk to them. It’s like they only care about me when I do something wrong. And the rules?? Omg, don’t even get me started. I have to ask for everything. Can I go to my friend’s house? No. Can I stay out past 9 PM? No. Can I have my phone in my room at night? Of course not. Meanwhile, my little brother does whatever he wants. He stays up till like 2AM playing video games, leaves his stuff everywhere, and guess what?? No one cares!! But if I forget to put one stupid plate in the sink, suddenly it’s "you need to start taking more responsiblity in this house." Bro, I literally do everything. I help with chores, I do my homework, I try to be nice, but somehow I’m still the problem. It’s like they just wanna control me 24/7, and then they act shocked when I don’t wanna be around them. Like, gee, I wonder why.

And the worst part is, they act like my feelings don’t even matter. Like, if I say I’m stressed, they hit me with the "you don’t even know what real stress is." If I say I’m tired, it’s "you’re young, you have no reason to be tired." Ok then, sorry for existing I guess??? Just because I don’t have a job doesn’t mean school isn’t insanely exhausting. And don’t even get me started on the whole privacy thing. They act like I’m some criminal or something, always wanting to check my phone, asking a million questions about who I’m talking to, like why do you care so much? It’s not like I’m out here selling drugs or whatever. I just wanna have my own space without being treated like a little kid. But nope, apparently having basic privacy means I’m hiding something. I’m just so tired of feeling like no matter what I do, I’m still a disappointment to them. And then when I actually try to talk to them about it, they just get mad or say I’m being dramatic. Maybe I am dramatic, idk, but it’s not like they actually listen to me. They act like they know me but they don’t. I hate how they make me feel like I’m never enough. I hate how they don’t even try to understand me. I hate how I can’t even hate them properly, cause no matter how mad I get, I still love them. But sometimes, I really just wish they would see me for who I actually am instead of who they want me to be.

I gave birth in January to my first child on the 8th via c section, was not my first choice but I stopped dilating and needed to have emergency c section. Going home I felt on top of the world, my daughter was absolutely perfect and I had my whole family's support including my husbands side too. My mom was moving in with us this week too to come help out with the baby for the first few months. Well this emotional high that I was on quickly crumbled, at 5am 7 days after the birth I saw my mother die of a heart attack / stroke I really dont know I never got a answer from the emts and the death certificate said she died of natural causes. What I witnessed changed me, I had just got out the shower and my husband and newborn were asleep. I got out the bathroom and heard noise from downstairs and it sounded like my mom was struggling to breathe so I ran down as fast as my freshly cut body would let me and by the time I got down there she was beginning to panic and gasp for air. I was trying to keep composure and listen to her ask for her inhaler while also getting my phone to call the ambulance. I went back upstairs to get my husband i remember doing this twice but not how much time was in between. I was terrified, panicking and crying, the call lasted a life time to me the woman on the other end did not seem to understand my urgency and tried to keep me calm but I was literally losing the woman who raised me in front of my eyes. When my husband came down stairs he got my mom on the couch and once the paramedics came they tried relentlessly to save her and I couldnt watch i was falling apart they asked me to go upstairs and that is where I remained while I was living a true nightmare. Once they told me it was not looking good and that I should start making phone calls I felt like I was going to lose it but I began calling everyone and that was a traumatic experience on its own too. The next day and few days after are truly a blur. After I was left to put together the entire funeral arrangements and everything that related to her I was so numb it felt like I was having an out of body experience for the first month. I think that was my spirits way of coping and protecting me. My little bundle of joy became my emotional support baby, when holding her and being around her I could not even shed a tear. She was my rock and my reason for everything even more so than the typical similar feelings of new parents. Moving forward has been the toughest part of my spiritual journey in life so far. Though there are days that are so much more tough than others I know that my higher self or true self is there with me in those moments and we are celebrating the love that it takes to be a living loving person who makes eternal impacts on the universe. I hope that life continues to give me signs, every single day since my daughter was born I have seen 544. she was born 5:44 and my mom died at 5:44, when im least expecting i will look up and see 544 somewhere and I know that im where im supposed to be and that everything will be okay.

I feel like a girl tried to trick me. She was a girl in great need of affection and love who wisely approached me at a time when the sequence was crucial in my life, recently, with an issue that was suspected to be a tooth problem. The girl hugged me, kissed my cheek, caressed me, made sure I didn't leave. In short, she welcomed me maternally at a time when I needed it most. Besides, I was with my mother and father, and they definitely didn't do that. She went so far as to listen to me, understand me, and actually value my music, something my parents simply rejected.

I feel like she abused her profession to do this. What would she have been capable of with that girl? All of this left lasting scars on me later. Why did she have to approach me like that? I feel like she hurt me so much. She was on the verge of jeopardizing my job, my life, everything. Why did it have to be like that? Also, having told her I was suffering from a psychological disorder. Damn, really, that girl was the one who hurt me the most. Why did she act so recklessly like that? Any inappropriate treatment becomes dangerous for me, whether it's on my part toward others or from others toward me, given the lack of control it caused me. I feel like her attitude wasn't right.

I feel overwhelmed, overworked after that experience. Who was that girl? Why did she treat me like that? Until recently, she practically had me at her feet. I feel like this wasn't right. I even thought I was in love, for God's sake! How could that be possible? I feel cheated, and I don't doubt that she knows about these kinds of methods. Besides, she was the kind of girl who makes special moments.

For God's sake, how far was this going to go? Now I feel like I just want her to go away. I was about to throw myself into a fierce void, into hell. I didn't know where I was going, I had no idea of ​​the consequences. I was willing to go without any consequences! I never want to see that girl again in my life! The girl had me captivated. For God's sake! For God's sake, why wouldn't she answer or bother checking my WhatsApp? Besides, after acting so maternal and close, she suddenly abandoned me and made me look bad. Holy Mother of God! Where was this girl going to take me? And at a time when I was feeling bad! This is the worst thing that could have happened to me!

Dearest friends, why the hell did this have to happen to me? I felt like I was on the way to ruining my life, my sacred life. Don't people get tired of trying to ruin my life? For God's sake. She had already tried to ruin it recently. My calm, my most sacred calm, was about to be ruined, destroyed, shattered again. Where would I get trapped? In what, for God's sake? What could I possibly do under these circumstances? I already felt this girl was a danger from the start. And the worst part is that everyone there adores her. Why did someone like that have to touch me? Why? What did I do? I wanted peace of mind. There's no justification for this behavior. I've never done anything like this, have I? Could I have been a narcissist too?

I could already see that girl betraying my trust, making my life hell. I already felt cornered by her! I already felt she was shattering my expectations to the hilt! I felt she played with my feelings! That girl did this recklessly, even before surgery! She was also extremely silent and acting as if nothing had happened. What the hell would I run into if I saw her again? I already felt I had to escape from something. Why did I have to fall into this hell? This was the worst. That was the worst thing those doctors could have done to me, the worst, for God's sake. They gave me a monster present! And the worst part is that I was standing right in front of my mom, and my mom hadn't done anything.

The worst part is that it was at a time when I was completely out of my depth, for God's sake! I thought I was good, different, a bitter illusion. I was already surprised that I was the most popular! Of course! Everyone is safe from her! I already felt like I was losing control because of her. And I was already thinking about going all the way to where she worked! It makes me faint. This can't happen to me. What the hell is she still doing now, for God's sake? Plus, she's sucking up to my parents! She's acting the good guy! The woman was swarming me, for God's sake. What trap could I have fallen into? I was walking right into a trap. This can't happen to me. It can't be. This isn't fair. Why do so many people want to destroy my life? I'm tired of escaping. And in a medical service? For God's sake, I never want to enter that girl's life. I feel like I could die from this. Why did this happen to me? Attacks from all sides, for God's sake. On top of that, playing with my mental health, being deteriorated, begging for help, this is the worst thing the system could have done to me. I never thought that at my job I would be they're going to send me to a place like that, with that quality. I feel like I'm going to die of rage, of sadness. I mean, even in that service, they abused me. This can't be what happened to me. Everyone took advantage of it to tear my life apart.

And I'm justifying to this girl that I was different! She had me in a frenzy! How far was this going to go? I never want to remember this girl again. Never, ever. And pretending to be good, in love, saintly, different, that she doesn't judge. Am I really that annoying? It happened to me at my previous job, also with some girls. How far is this going to go? How far is this going to go? It can't be. It can't be that they won't leave me alone. I refuse to believe it. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack because of this. And the worst part is that when I was in that service, no one protected me. To the point of succumbing to a hell from which no one was going to get me out because of the prejudices against me, which they truly are. I just tried to present true facts in a way that people couldn't refute without proof at hand, as it should have been, and also transparent to others. For God's sake, I was almost falling.

On the verge of losing almost everything. It can't be that this happened to me during my treatment. Even during my treatment, right when I should have been calmer. Now it was with this girl, who do I reveal this to? And then with someone else? I felt like an unprotected child again, at the mercy of madness, without parents even though they were there. I mean, it can't be that I was truly alone in those circumstances. I really don't understand. No one was protecting me from going to hell, no one, even though I needed to, even though I wasn't fit to handle myself.

And my psychiatrist yesterday told me to drop this treatment thing! Is everyone trying to make me fall? Everyone? This can't be happening to me. Seriously, this can't be happening to me.

idk whats wrong with me lately but its like everythin just feels heavy?? like i wake up n my chest is tight nd i dont wanna get outta bed. i just stare at the ceiling n think bout nothin but also everything at once. i used to wake up n feel kinda excited for the day but now its like...idk. empty i guess? my alarm goes off nd i feel this dread inside me like "oh great, here we go again". and i know i shouldnt feel this way cuz like nothin bad rlly happened but still its like my bodys fightin against me or sumthin.

when i go out with friends now, im not even rlly there. i try to laugh and joke but its like im watchin myself from the outside. like im pretendin to have fun when inside i just wanna go home n crawl under my blankets. and sometimes they notice n ask me whats wrong but i dont even know what to say?? cuz if i say "idk i just feel bad" they look at me weird n i feel stupid. so instead i say "im fine just tired" or sumthin but deep down i kno they kno its more than that. nd then i feel worse cuz im lyin to ppl i love but what else am i sposed to do? tell them my brain feels broken??

school feels impossible rn too. i sit in class n all the words the teacher says jus float past me like i cant grab onto em. my grades r slippin nd i kno it but its like i cant even care enough to fix it. ill sit at my desk to study n end up starin at the wall for hours. like time jus stops or sumthin. and then i get rlly mad at myself cuz i kno i should be better but i cant seem to make myself move. i just feel stuck. like theres glue holdin me in place n the harder i try to move the more stuck i get.

my mom tried to talk to me bout it yesterday. she noticed i was bein quiet nd stuff at dinner n asked me if sumthin was wrong. i wanted to tell her everything, how i feel lost nd sad nd tired all the time. but instead i just shrugged n said "nah im fine mom". she gave me that look she always does when she knows im lyin but she didnt push it. i think she wants me to talk but idk how to even start. what if she thinks im bein dramatic? what if she thinks its just some teenage thing n not real? cuz it feels pretty real to me.

idk what im sposed to do anymore. i jus kno that i dont feel good, not at all. like somethings missing from inside me n i cant find it. i jus want to feel normal again. not even happy, just normal. but rn that feels impossible, like im trapped in this fog that wont go away. i jus wanna wake up n breathe easy again, feel the sun without wishin i could stay in bed forever. i jus wanna be me again, but i dunno how to find her.

I have been in a relationship for the past two years with this man and i love him to death and would do anything for him honestly. But him not caring enough to plan anything or gift me anything not even a small rose on my birthday made me think he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore but he gifted me this veryy expensive bag last month out of the blue cause he felt like it and now when i confronted him about not gifting me anything he said to me that the bag was my gift which honestly i love and appreciate but he could’ve atleast planned a date if he wasn’t gonna gift me anything, he didn’t even post a simple story in Instagram wishing me or anything which is all right but its just that birthdays are the only days you can make someone feel extra special and if i am being honest i have been planning his birthday since January and his birthday is in august so it hurt me a bit that he didn’t do anything for me.

I am 30 year old female who definitely does not want to work anymore. I dropped of college and started working and building myself and understanding jobs and everything which made me realize that I don't want to work anymore. My biggest issue is coworker and manger will FAFO. Since Trump ran for president in AMERICA, the economy is sinking and I heard that jobs are on a FREEZE and I honestly don't know what jobs are really hiring or not due to GHOST JOBS and what not because its really hard to say if I want to go apply for jobs. All the times I learn about jobs is that coworkers and managers are not your friends and I try my best to just be very careful because in the past I became a blubber mouth and was angry about everything; how jobs are structure and what not. I don't want unemployment because in my mind (i don't know if it true) but I found out that some people will teach others to lie on the form for unemployed and they will get while the others get rejected. That my stress and it bothers me because I am trying to live my life and do what I want to but again people love to mess up situation. Recently there was drama at work, a coworker was disrespectful telling me to clock out somewhere else and basically acted she is the manager but she doesn't do much. For me this my first time in industry never know how it might work every system has their ways and for me, I think I did well but that coworker is just trying to make it hard for us. That why I don't want to work anymore. There so much issues within work and due to job searching its hard to find a job that will take you seriously but some jobs won't even train you to make sure you get the work done. Any tips and advices because its jobs are really hard right now?

Since 2019, after the tragic loss of their parents, I've taken on the responsibility of caring for my 8-year-old nephew, Sam. Transitioning from a carefree 34-year-old bachelor to a solo fatherhood role has been challenging but deeply rewarding.

My brother was quite successful financially and had invested in a property that is now a rental. Unfortunately, the income from it doesn't cover the mortgage and maintenance costs, but it's an investment that will hopefully pay off for Sam's future. In addition to supporting Sam, I'm covering expenses for a house we don't reside in. Sam also attends a private school, which strains the budget further.

This past summer, Sam expressed a keen interest in attending a sleepaway camp known for its outstanding programs. Regrettably, the cost was prohibitive; I could only manage to cover two weeks, despite the camp’s three-week minimum stay requirement. After Sam had started his time at the camp, I received a surprising call from the camp's office informing me that an anonymous donor wished to fund Sam's entire summer stay.

Initially bewildered, I insisted on knowing who the sponsors were before even considering their offer. It turned out to be the parents of a boy Sam knew slightly. Although affluent and perhaps well-intentioned, their previous condescending attitude and disparaging remarks about those they've 'helped' made me uneasy. I decided to confront them directly, explaining that our personal financial situation was not an invitation for charity, particularly not meant to soothe their conscience or assert superiority.

They seemed shocked by my frankness but reiterated that I should consider what's best for Sam. However, their patronizing demeanor only reinforced my decision. I respectfully declined their offer, emphasizing that Sam’s summer wouldn't be devoid of joy or enrichment. He already had a series of playdates arranged, a trip with his cousins, and an exciting visit to Legoland planned with another uncle. My nephew's summer was packed with fun and family, far from the dreary picture they painted.

One can only imagine what the scene would look like if this were played out on a reality TV show. There would likely be dramatic music swells as I explained our situation to the affluent parents, followed by close-ups of their surprised faces. Viewers might weigh in through live tweets or post-show polls, debating the ethics of charity and the pride in self-sufficiency.

What would you do if offered anonymous financial help for your child?

We are currently long distance as she had to move back home to take care of her sick mother. Two days ago, she suddenly began experiencing severe pains. At first, she thought it was particularly bad menstruation cramps and gas. It has continued getting worse, so it is clearly not normal. She's miserable, she can barely get out of bed. I've been begging her to ask her uncle to take her either to a doctor or hospital. She is against this idea, as she doesn't have a lot of money and will only go if she thinks she is dying. I think that whatever this is may well be that serious, but I can't convince her of that. I've promised her I would pay the bill myself, it doesn't matter. She's just not willing, at least not yet. I don't know how bad it will have to be.

I am scared. My mother was similarly stubborn about getting medical help, and it led to her dying from a lung infection that became sepsis. I watched my die on a ventilator because of something a few antibiotics would've solved if she had been treated before. I don't want something like that to happen to my girlfriend. She's the love of my life, the thought of her sick is troubling enough but I am scared she's going to die. She is in terrible pain. She says she's never been in this much pain before.

I don't know how to get her help. Her mother has also been encouraging her to see a doctor. She is as worried as I am.

I could count on one hand the amount I cried in my entire adult life, until this. I'm scared and I know she is too. I feel terrible that I'm not there for her, but due to a stupid drug related offense on my record from a decade ago, I cannot travel to her country.

I'm not religious but I've been praying. I don't even know what I'm praying to. I just want her to be okay. I want to see her smile again. I want to give her a hug. I hate that she's suffering like this. I hate that I can't change her mind.

The thought of something happening to her makes me sick.

For the past 16 years of marriage, punctuality has continued to be an elusive concept for my spouse's parents. They are consistently late by 20 to 30 minutes and fail to notify us in advance of their tardiness. Last Halloween was particularly telling. They had promised to arrive at 6:30 PM for trick-or-treating with my now-teenage children, who had canceled their own plans to spend the evening with their grandparents. When 7:15 PM rolled around without any sign of them, a phone call revealed they were still "5 minutes away." They eventually showed up 23 minutes later, apparently unconcerned by their lateness.

This recurring issue has compelled me to establish a new family rule I've dubbed the "5-minute rule." According to this directive, if someone says they'll arrive at a specific time and fails to show within 5 minutes of that time, we proceed without them. If it's a meal, we'll order and start eating. If they arrive as we're finishing, we’ll simply leave.

An example of this rule's implementation occurred just this evening. They had made plans to dine out with my teenagers, affirming a 7:00 PM pickup. Reminder of the "5-minute rule" was given during a phone conversation at 2:00 PM. Nonetheless, by 7:05 PM, they had neither appeared nor called. When I contacted them, they claimed to be 10 minutes away. I directed them not to rush, as we would not be waiting, despite their pleas for another chance citing their one-hour drive as an excuse.

It feels outright disrespectful that they don't regard our time with any seriousness. Should I feel bad about enforcing my rule?

Imagine how this issue would unfold if it was part of a reality TV show scene. The dramatization of the confrontation, complete with tense music and close-ups, would likely divide viewers. Some might side with the grandparents, arguing that family deserves patience and understanding. Others might applaud the enforcement of boundaries as a necessary step in cultivating respect for others' time. The episode would definitely spark debate and could possibly even trend on social media as viewers share their own family punctuality horror stories.

Now, thinking about this situation, I wonder: Is my new "5-minute rule" too harsh?

Hi, I'm A. I'm a pretty good student. I live in a small town. The story I'm about to tell you happened today, a few hours ago.

I'll start with the fact, today my brother is hosting a birthday party for his friends. I was supposed to help with the preparations and stay to help him serve the people. I had a movie planned with my friend, and I helped before it. But I didn't tell my parents about the fact that we would be going to McDonald's afterwards. My friend and I were obviously very happy when we went to the cinema to see it. It was fine. Now, it was time for McDonald's: unfortunately, it was far from our town, so it was kind of a bummer cause we had to go by bike. I had notifications turned off. Once we arrrived, the queue was so long we waited like 10 minutes. The entire time I was watching the time and getting a little nervous. It was 16:40 once we got our food, I had to be in my house at 16:30... But it was too late to turn back now. Honestly, I wish I told her I have to go back home, but now it's too late. Once I finished eating, I went to the bathroom at 17:17 where upon I saw 3 missed calls from my mother, so I messaged her 'I just finished my movie'. Then we rode back to our house, laughing. I came home. My father was waiting by the door, saying my mother went to their friends to wash (the water isn't fine at the moment). He said she was waiting since 16:00. Panic kicks in. He asks me if I wanna go to her. I don't answer but grab a towel and some shampoo and he drives me there. My mother is by the fence because apparently their water's turned off. My mother yelled at me, saying she waited for two hours (it was 17:40) to go with me to their friends. Then we drove back home. The party was gonna start at 18:00. She asked me why didn't I tell them. I said 'I don't know" and she continued. She ahd every right to be mad at me, so I kept being mute. My stupidity went through the roof and I knew it. I blocked my friend because she said she was gonna beat me to death once I was back in school. I hate me. Now I have to help him. I just wanna cry my face off. I was also supposed to go to a sleepover at her house... Now I can't because it's my fault.

I hate it. I just want to kms. But I feel like that's a waste, and that's my second time where I lied and didn't get away with it.

In Malaysia, I got too excited at a mall and wandered away from my mom, causing concern. My dad, fearing dangers like kidnapping, got angry, yelled, hit me, and said hurtful things, like blaming my love for art and claiming he only cares because I’m his child, not out of love. His words made me feel selfish and unempathetic, even though I regret what happened and love your family. Since then, I’ve been anxious, cautious, and focused on helping my mom, wondering if it's just teenage emotions or if there's truth to his criticism.

Last year, on our one-year anniversary, my boyfriend Greg and I decided to celebrate at our favorite dining spot, the Cheesecake Factory, because he's aware of my adoration for their cheesecake. As it turned out, my preference for their dessert played a notable role in the evening's events.

The dinner was progressing wonderfully; we were enjoying ourselves immensely. However, the atmosphere swiftly changed when an elderly gentleman seated nearby pushed his chair back just as our waiter was passing by with a tray. This sudden move caused the waiter to trip and accidentally spill his hot coffee down my back. The pain from the scalding liquid was instant and intense, leading me to scream and instinctively lift my shirt—it was a reflex from the surprise and the burning sensation.

Given that I'm fairly petite in the chest area and don't often wear a bra, this reaction inadvertently resulted in me exposing myself to several other diners. Despite the embarrassment, the physical shock was what dominated my reaction. I managed to pull my shirt back down after what felt like a long fifteen seconds. Our waiter was profusely apologetic, but I knew it wasn't really anyone's fault—just a regrettable accident.

Greg, on the other hand, wasn't able to see the incident as just an accident. He became insistent on leaving the restaurant immediately, claiming that my reaction was overly dramatic and that I had embarassed both of us. Standing my ground, I argued that the incident, while unfortunate, wasn't worth abandoning our anniversary meal, especially since cheesecake—the hallmark of our celebration—was yet to come. I even suggested getting the cheesecake to go, but Greg was adamant about leaving, disapproving of my lack of mortification.

We stayed, but the remainder of our dinner was awkward. Greg claimed that other men were looking at me and probably harboring inappropriate thoughts, to which I replied that their thoughts were their problem, not mine.

The ride home was filled with tension, with Greg expressing that I had ruined our anniversary by forcing him to sit through the aftermath of the incident. He couldn't fathom why I would prioritize a dessert over his feelings. This led to an argument that lasted the entire drive, and the silence that followed has persisted into today.

Considering the whole situation, sometimes I wonder how this incident would have unfolded in the public eye, say if we were part of a reality TV show. Would the audience sympathize with my pain and reflex, or would they criticize me for the unintentional exposure and my insistence on staying for cheesecake?

I'm kind of torn on who was more reasonable here—am I at fault for wanting to continue our celebration?

This is my first time doing something like this and probably the only time I only ever talk to myself when I feel down I'm in high school and I've always been the "lone wolf" that one quiet and calm kid you might see sketching or climbing a tree I don't talk much and people know me I know people but I'm not really friends with anybody I've only got one friend will call here 'Po' and lately things just feel different and off I'm not as happy as I used to be seeing them and it's probably just me so I event brought it up I'm so fed up with everything I can't vent to anyone and Po is my only friend and she's got more than enough of her own problems on her plate plus a lot from other people we're both 'therapist friends' if you will I often find myself fixing other people's lives only for them to completely ditch me months or weeks later feels like rescuing an injured animal as soon as their healed up they leave you Po vents to me about how draining it is to be around people who are depressed and down not in a mean way I get it it is draining and she's referring to her girlfriend who is also going through some stuff Po get seasonal depression and it's mid winter where I am I don't have any other friends or even people to talk to I've got a little sister who's much younger then me so why would I vent to her and honestly I wouldn't trust her either my parents aren't a option and I don't know where else to vent I'm the one who fixes everything what happens when I'm not doing great? witch I haven't been for awhile I just wish I could disappear everything is so stressful and the only thing keeping me going is drawing I'm sick of everything else my friendship with Po feels just feels empty she's moving in a few months and if you asked me last year in January I would have said there's no way we would grow apart and our friendship would totally be fine but now I'm not so sure and I can't lose her but it doesn't feel right anymore and anytime I think of venting to her she ends up telling me about how someone just vented to her and how she's glad that I feel like a breath of fresh air I'm not sure what to do my body image issues have been getting worse I find myself using the alphabet trick to stop me from crying at least several times a day and I'm not sure what to do I feel dead inside and I quit soccer which I've been doing for seven years I'm going to quit a sewing classes I've been in for four years and I'm so incredibly guilty for feeling like this when everyone else is doing bad too I just want it to go away I can't do this anymore I don't want to be the loner who's fine with never hanging out or sitting by myself and enjoying my own company 24/7 I don't trust people because I had bad trust issues before especially with older people when I was younger it took me 4 years to trust this lady and two days after I did and let my guard down it blow up right in my face and I haven't seen them in three years and honestly I don't want to I still can't believe that it felt like I got kicked when I was already down and I don't think I'm ever going to recover from that since I told myself it would be fine and having trust issues isn't healthy so I decided to trust someone and then it backfired spectacularly I don't feel like eating or doing anything I just want it to stop I hate this so much and I wish I could just be normal I'm stressed about everything I feel like I'm going mental and I'm so dissociated from life it's not even funny I'm probably gonna regret ever writing and ranting about this even though it's just on the internet where nobody knows who I am thank you for lending me an ear there is a high chance of spelling mistakes in this since I'm writing this down so quickly but genuinely thank you I'm not looking for sympathy I just really need to get this off my chest to anyone will to read

I'm a 31-year-old man, and my partner, who is 28, and I have been in a relationship for six years, sharing a home for the past two. She’s always had a passion for comedy and used to perform at open mic nights regularly after we graduated from college. Despite her love for comedy, she had a stable job in sales, which she worked at during the weekdays, earning a pretty good salary.

I work in a demanding field myself and earn quite a bit more, nearly triple, in fact, compared to what she used to make at her sales job. That changed last August when she decided to quit her job to dedicate more time to her comedy, believing it could lead to a big break within the year. Although I was unsure about this decision, I supported her because I wanted to be a supportive boyfriend.

Since resigning, she's been driving for Uber and DoorDash, which is now her only source of income. Unfortunately, her comedy pursuits haven't brought in any money. Lately, I’ve felt growing resentment as she often struggles financially yet limits her driving shifts to a few times a week. Meanwhile, I'm covering most of our living expenses, which is starting to hinder my ability to save money. She has a habit of sleeping in quite late, especially following late-night gigs, and spends considerable time on social media platforms like TikTok and YouTube, claiming she's seeking inspiration. Moreover, she has an expectation for me to be present at nearly all of her performances, even if it's late at night after I've already had a long 14-hour workday. This expectation has often led to tensions between us.

Things escalated last night when I suggested she consider returning to a full-time job. I tried to express that she could continue her comedy on the side, but I was finding it tough to handle all our expenses alone. She brushed off my concerns, which led me to express, perhaps too harshly, that she might never make it as a famous comedian and should face reality. This confrontation upset her greatly, leading her to tearfully leave to stay with a friend and labeling me with some choice insults. She's been unresponsive since.

If my life was a reality show, the audience might be split. Some would likely empathize with my financial burden and agree with my suggestion for more stability. Others might view me as the villain, blaming me for not supporting my girlfriend’s dreams. It’s tricky to balance dreams and reality, and under the public eye, every decision and word can be critiqued intensely.

So, am I really the unreasonable one here?