Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

OK. So... Apparently I am going to my old neighbors New Years Eve party. We moved into a new house a year ago but our dad's are still friends so we have to hang out sometimes and we go to the same school. We've gone skiing together a couple times but I always get shy and weird around him. We haven't talked or really seen each other in months except for awkward, accidental eye contact every now and then at school. He's a grade above me so thankfully we don't see each other much but... I guess we're going to on New Year's. Not only that, my other past neighbors, one in particular that I was good friends with, are also going to be there. Well, I don't know for sure but there's a 99% chance so... The problem is that she also goes to my school, a grade above me, and I don't really know what happened but we both got awkward and stop talking and even saying hi to each other so we kind of pretend we just don't notice each other. I'm starting to wonder if she even remembers me or my name... But I really do miss her, I just feel like we've been ignoring each other for so long that it'll be weird if I say hi now. So there's another reason I'm debating faking sick to get out of this party. Now back to the other kid, let's call him, uhhh O. Sure, so O is... Well I don't even know why I find him mildly attractive.. *cough cough* BUT UHHH. It's okkk hehe.. So that probably adds to the "nervous around him" thing for sure. But, my fingers are tired so I'm just saying, I swear to God I'm going to embarrass myself and I know this is kind of the wrong website for this but IDC. Ok? IM DESPERATE. I needed somewhere to put my- feelings, and google gave me a warning. So to sum it up, I'm literally going to cry because we'll, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDHDNNSMSJDBHDNSNSNNSNSNSN!!! Ok well, save me. I'm dieing. OMG. 😭😅💀😟 Advice?

at my workplace there is a rule about smells.

if you smell offensive to anyone it's apparently a crime.

now.... I know what you're thinking: "oh god.. why? just take a shower!" ..no, I'm talking about smelling TOO good.

apparently...

if you have a shampoo or conditioner with fragrance.

if you have an air freshener in your car that gets on your clothes or the air freshener is in your closet and gets in your clothes.

if you use an overly fragrant laundry detergent or fabric softener.

if you use those laundry beads or sheets.

if you have a perfume/cologne, or a body spray.

if you brush your teeth or chew gum in the vicinity of another person and you happen to breathe on them for whatever reason.

...those are all no-no's, very bad. if someone complains on you several times you can be sent home or written up.

on the other hand..... it's PERFECTLY ok to smell "natural"

if you fart all day long.

if you burp non stop.

if you smell like alcohol or cigarettes.

if your teeth are rotting.

if you brought an 'exotic' lunch.

if you don't shower.

if you constantly sweat.

if you wear a diaper or a bag and do not change it.

if you are against wiping yourself in the bathroom.

if you don't wash you clothes but instead only rinse them with water.

if you have pungent foot odor.

if for whatever reason you save your pee/poop in a bag, jar or can.

or... any other "natural smell" that may offend another person.

that is all allowed. no one will say anything to you if you are a "natural" smelling person even if someone else, or multiple people, complain about how much it offends them. in fact if you do complain about a "natural smell" in your area that doesn't go away like a fart or burp and it is actually a smell coming from a living person... management will tell you "if it bothers you so much and you feel ill or nauseous then take your time and go home." management won't even let the "natural" person know because it's against the rules to possibly embarrass or shame a person's existence. if the "natural" person does or does not practice hygiene that is a workplace issue BUT since it is a natural smell, THEIR smell, it is seen as an extreme type of body shaming. that is against the rules. so the only ones that get in trouble are the "unnatural" or artificial smelling people or people that use such products.

so yeah i’m 16 and a girl and i live on a farm, which sounds cute until you realize it also means mice, like a ridiculous amount of mice, and they are everywhere all the time and i swear they know when i’m already stressed. i’ve been scared of them for as long as i can remember, like heart racing, hands shaking, full panic mode when one runs across the floor. my family thinks it’s hilarious, especially my brothers, and even my parents do that little laugh like oh here we go again. i try to be polite about it and not yell, but sometimes it really hurts. last week one ran out from behind the feed bags and i jumped on a chair and everyone laughed for like five straight minutes. i know they’re tiny and probably more scared of me, people always say that, but my brain just doesn’t care. it feels embarrassing being scared of something so small, especially when you grow up around animals and mud and all that. sometimes i wonder if living on a farm automatically means you’re supposed to be fearless, like cows are fine and spiders are fine and mice should be fine too, but they are not fine to me. do you ever feel like your fear defines you more than you want it to?

i really want to change though, and that’s the part i don’t tell my family because they’d tease me even more. i don’t want to be the girl who screams every time a mouse shows up, even if it’s kind of who i’ve always been. i’ve tried little things, like watching them from far away when my dad is around, or not immediately running out of the room when i hear scratching. once i stayed still for like ten whole seconds while one ran across the kitchen, which felt like a huge deal to me, even if no one else noticed. my mom said i did good, in a calm nice way, and that helped more than she probably knows. i keep telling myself fear isn’t permanent, it’s more like a habit you can slowly unlearn if you’re patient. sometimes i even think the mice are just part of the farm doing their mouse business and i’m the weird one barging into their space. it sounds silly but that thought actually calms me down a bit. i still hate when my family jokes, but i try to remind myself they don’t mean to be cruel, they just don’t understand how real it feels to me 🐭

the other night i was alone in the barn and i heard that familiar scuffling sound and my first instinct was to run, but i stopped myself and took a breath and told myself i was safe, even though i really didn’t feel like it; i didn’t see the mouse, but i also didn’t panic, and that felt like progress. i’m trying to be hopeful and gentle with myself because being mean to myself never helped anyone. i think one day i might even be able to pick something up knowing a mouse could be nearby and not freak out, and that thought actually makes me smile. i know change takes time, especially with fears that live in your body and not just your thoughts. i wish my family would cheer me on instead of laughing, but maybe once they see me improving they will. until then i’ll keep trying, one small step at a time, and maybe my story can remind you that it’s okay to be scared and still want to be brave, right?

This morning was unusually tense with my fiance, Peter. While engaging in my daily routine of brushing my teeth and preparing for the day, Peter decided to sit our little daughter in her high chair to watch her favorite show. Instead of attending to her, he got caught up in watching TikTok videos for what seemed like forever, around 10 to 15 minutes. When I finally finished up and noticed what was happening, I was quite upset to see that he hadn't started making breakfast yet.

His excuse was that he was waiting on me to decide what our daughter should eat, even though he fully knows that she normally has scrambled eggs on daycare mornings—she's one, after all. I immediately called him out on his delay, labeling it a pure excuse. This triggered a wider argument about him not proactively helping out with our daughter or her daily needs in the morning. In a moment of apparent frustration, Peter suggested I should draft him a "list" of tasks he should undertake concerning our daughter’s morning routine. I shot down the idea instantaneously because I feel he should inherently know what needs to be done as a parent. There's no list handed to me; I just assess the situation and manage her necessities like diaper changes, dressing her for the day, handling her teeth brushing, and preparing daycare bottles.

Amidst our heated discussion, I adamantly refused to create such a list. My point being, why should I have to spoon-feed parenting duties to someone who’s equally responsible for them? It's baffling and somewhat disheartening that after so much time, these responsibilities aren’t understood and shared.

Imagine this situation unfolding in a reality show setting—cameras capturing every detail and broadcasting our domestic squabble to an audience. Would the viewers empathize with my frustration or view my refusal to write out a list as uncooperative? Reality TV thrives on drama and complications, so it's interesting to ponder whether such a seemingly mundane yet relatable conflict could strike a chord with viewers or simply amplify the judgment towards either of us?

Am I wrong for not wanting to make a parenting "to-do" list for my fiance?

Two years ago, I received my degree, a milestone made possible by a dedicated savings effort from my parents starting when I was very young. I'm profoundly grateful for this and have striven to honor their efforts by excelling academically and graduating on time. Comparatively, my younger cousin Lara faced some challenges and ended up leaving college last year after not passing several classes. She's now ready to re-enroll, but there's a hitch — she's already depleted much of her college fund.

Just recently, her parents, my aunt and uncle, approached me with a request. They hoped I might consider transferring the remaining balance of my college fund to help Lara with her tuition. While it's true that I have some funds left — thanks primarily to a scholarship I received in my senior year — I told them I couldn't comply with their wish. I've earmarked these funds for my graduate studies or potentially a future home purchase, and it doesn't seem fair to sacrifice these plans, especially considering the circumstances of Lara's academic struggles.

This decision didn't sit well with them. Lara insists she "needs it more" and accuses me of being selfish, pointing out that my own education was fully covered. Her parents echoed this sentiment, arguing that the money would serve Lara better than it does sitting in my account and expressed a desire to avoid student loans for her. While I empathize with the difficulties student loans can present, I feel it's important to note that I diligently worked through my college years, both academically and in planning my finances for the future. It seems unreasonable to expect me to forgo my financial security due to her earlier academic failures.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to keep what I’ve saved for myself? Imagine if this were played out on a reality show — how dramatically opinions would clash in front of cameras! Viewers would likely be split, with some criticizing my decision as selfish and others praising my foresight and financial prudence. The scenario could definitely turn into a heated debate reflecting the differing values on family support versus personal responsibility.

Overall, it's a tricky situation loaded with family expectations and the weighing of financial vs emotional investment...

I always thought the hardest part of my journey was behind me. All those late-night study sessions, the coffee-fueled exams, the internships, the pressure to graduate with honors—I thought once I stepped into the "real world," everything would finally make sense. But here I am, a year into my first real job, and I've never felt more lost or unmotivated in my entire life.

Back in college, I was the person everyone pointed to as the success story. The one professors used as an example, the one my friends admired. I thrived on deadlines, feedback, and clear expectations. Everything was structured, and I knew exactly how to succeed. Now, I sit at my desk, staring blankly at my laptop, wondering if this is really all there is.

When I landed this job, I was over the moon. Everyone congratulated me, told me how proud they were. I believed this would be the beginning of something amazing—a chance to finally prove myself. But the reality has been crushingly different. My work feels meaningless, just endless emails, pointless meetings, and tasks that seem disconnected from any bigger purpose. I spend most days feeling invisible, like just another cog in a machine no one cares about.

I don't think I'm lazy, or at least I never used to be. But lately, it's like all my drive just disappeared overnight. Getting out of bed feels impossible some mornings. I used to wake up excited about the day ahead, ready to tackle challenges and prove myself. Now, I hit snooze repeatedly, dreading the moment I have to log in and pretend to be engaged in work that doesn't excite me at all.

I've tried talking to friends and family about this, but most of them say things like, "Welcome to adult life," or "Everyone hates their first job." But is it really supposed to feel this empty? Is this what I've worked so hard for, just to feel drained and purposless every day?

I keep wondering if maybe I chose the wrong career, or if I was naive to believe I'd find fulfillment right away. The scary part is, I don't even know what else I would do. I've spent my entire life on this path, convinced it was the right one. And now I'm terrified that I'll always feel this way, stuck in a cycle of dread, disappointment, and total lack of motivation.

I wish I knew how to fix this, how to regain the passion and confidence I once had. Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe I need a change. All I know is that this feeling—this heavy, numb sense of "what's the point?"—isn't how I want to spend the rest of my career. I just wish someone would tell me how to get my spark back. Until then, I'm just here, drifting through days, wondering how someone who once felt unstoppable now feels so utterly unmotivated.

So a quick story is we have been trying to have a baby for 3 years. 1st year ibhad 2 chemical pregnancies. 2nd year was completely NOTHING but depression. 3rd year i got pregnant but lost our baby at 4 months. Three months after that (we pretty much stopped trying so hard), i got pregnant and now she’s almost 1 year old. I’m extremely happy to get that straight.

Me and my boyfriend both worked abroad. We agreed that i go back to our home country and raise our baby there, at my parents’ side since im an only child, we both kinda think they’ll want to be with their granddaughter. So when i went home, gave birth and everything, my bf provided everything. My pregnancy was even high risk cos i am of age (37years old), had history, even had gestational diabetes, he was even the one buying medicine for my father. My father got sick when i was abroad and they all told me he was fine but he wasnt really. He would yell at me, curse me, curse my bf and one time he cursed the baby i talked back to him that’s when he hit me while carrying the baby. So i just never spoke to him to keep things quiet. But everyday he would do house repairs, move furnitures that would wale the baby up and when the baby was up he would start cursing again which i just ignored. But after some time, of course tension would build up. He ended up cursing at me again and my bf, so i talked back to him. And it didnt go well. He tried to hit me with a metal pipe, and with his yelling my baby was crying. He threw me out. I lived with my cousin for 10 days and my bf came home and took us with him to his parents house (he has a house already but isnt ready yet). After a month of vacation, he has to go back to work abroad. So im left with his family. His family is fine towards me. But the problem is the place. It’s extremely dirty. They have neglected cats and dogs. My own 2 cats even had fleas infestation even though they never left the room because of the place. Nobody wants to clean, everywhere is pee and poo and puke of cats, dogs, chicks. The house is old but is also neglected since nobody likes cleaning. A simple i want to wash my face turns into cleaning the sink cos there’s a poo in it and my baby will use that sink later. Even the human bathroom is worse than public bathroom. There’s dog pee in it, there’s cat poo in it. The house is insect infested. Mosquitoes, roaches, flies, and i am extremely scared of roaches. I cant let my baby touch anything cos she puts everything in her mouth. Our room is clean, i make sure i clean it everyday but out our room is a whole different place. I cant clean the place otherwise who’ll watch over the baby? So sometimes, we just stay in our room with my cats. People in their house, if you tell then to watch or clean up after their pets they get angry. They “love” animals. But as for me love animals is way different than being responsible and really loving an animal.

I was supposed to stay here with the baby and our cats (who we even flew home from abroad). But because things didnt turn out as we planned especially from my side. We talked of going back abroad but it’ll be REALLY costly.

Me and bf fight or argue everyday. I already had depression from past abusive boyfriend. Now my own father who disowned me, that includes the entire family cos noone ever stood up against him EVER. Just me. Their place is depressing. I am post partum. Our baby is really hard to look after. And i am telling myself now that i need to be more understanding of him. That every argument is my fault cos i am ranting to him everyday. But in the back of my head, what about me? I am having a difficult time too, sooooo difficult. Am i wrong to be ranting so much? I want my feelings out cos i am having suicidal thoughts again or just dream or pray to die everyday. I cry waking up. I cry before sleeping. I am praying when i sleep i hope i dont wake up anymore cos i just want every single fear, tiredness, pain or worry to end.

You wander through the foggy streets

Wondering if anyone's noticed

Your thoughts circling around and around

You walk and walk

Not sure where your going

Or what your plan is

You just want to run

It starts to rain

You look up

Letting the symphony of falling water wash over you

You scream

The world not hearing you

They've never heard you

They never will

You watch the sun awaken from its slumber

Hearing them screaming out your name

Yelling for you to come home

You stand up

Wipe your muddy hands

Wipe your cascading eyes

And run and run

Hoping you'll run off the planet

One day hopefully

four friends of mine are in a polyamorous relationship. I have a girlfriend, and was invited to join the poly group, but declined since I am lesbian and three of them are guys.

Kayla said I would never be put on the outside because of her and someone else.

I thought Benjamin was my best friend.

Me and Alin haven't been close for a while, but we're still nice to eachother.

I haven't known AJ for long, but we did vibe.

Until all this happened.

We have a group chat, a Google doc, with me, AJ, Kayla, Alin, Benjamin, and my girlfriend, Cami. Cami isn't able to be on much since we use it in the middle of school.

When she isn't online, I'm lonely. the four "poly group" (as me and Cami call them) are concerned only with themselves and eachother, akeing flirty comments, talking about what matching outfits they should wear, even doing matching profile pictures.

And I'm left on the outside. The exact way Kayla said I wouldn't be.

AND THEY DONT EVEN NOTICE. THEY DONT EVEN CARE, DO THEY? I'M BECOMING THE FIFTH WHEEL AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD MAKE SURE IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN. SHE LIED. AND THE FOUR OF THEM CARE ONLY FOR THEMSELVES. THE FOUR OF THEM ONLY HAVE ATTENTION FOR EACH OTHER. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ATTENTION IN THEM FOR ME. BECAUSE I, WITH EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR THEM, AM NOT ENOUGH. I WAS NEVER ENOUGH, WAS I? NO. AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW THE SHIT I DEAL WITH. THEY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW, EVERY DAY, I FEEL LIKE IM NOT ENOUGH FOR CAMI. I HAVE TO DEAL WITH FEELING LIKE CAMI SHOULD LEAVE ME FOR THE POLY GROUP.

because I deserve to be alone, right? because I'm just overreacting. they're my friends, I shouldn't get mad at them... they deserve so much better than me and... I just feel like I deserve nothing...

God my head is fucked up.

i'm so sorry.

I shouldn't complain.

I'm not allowed to.

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?

So, I just had the most confusing argument with my boyfriend, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Out of nowhere, he tells me I’m "too clingy." Clingy?? What does that even mean in a relationship? I honestly don’t get it. We’ve been together for a while now, and I thought being close was a good thing. Isn’t that what being in love is about? Spending time together, sharing our lives, and, you know, actually being there for each other?

Look, I’ll admit I do like to know where he is, what he’s up to, and I text him a lot during the day. But isn’t that just because I care? We both work, and I miss him during the day, so a quick message here and there seems normal to me. I didn’t think it was something that would be seen as "clingy." He even said he loves how I’m always there for him, so now I’m just confused. How can it be both a good and a bad thing?

And, honestly, it's not like I’m following him everywhere or stopping him from hanging out with friends. I just want to be part of his life, and I thought that’s what he wanted too. So now I'm sitting here thinking, what is the actual meaning of clingy in a relationship? Does it mean I’m supposed to back off? Give him space? But then, where’s the line between showing love and being too much?

I guess I’m just frustrated because this word came out of nowhere, and I don’t know how to fix it without feeling like I’m not being myself. Has anyone else dealt with this? What’s the clingy meaning in relationships supposed to mean anyway? Am I overreacting here?

I feel like I don't want people's pity or their complaints anymore—I don't know if a previous post of mine is online—I don't want her. I don't want any more rescues. This is what my mother was getting at. That woman only lived to point out what was wrong with me, going to extremes for God's sake, and supported by others. All her life, that woman has lived to pressure and thus intervene with me. What's the point of having someone as a slave? That's why she had her mother and me. Until when? It bothers me because I feel like I can't say bad things here, otherwise, I feel like I'd be breaking the rules.

I hate my mother. I never want to see her again. Since my treatment, she's turned out to be the person I hate the most, even more than my aunt. Manipulative, cynical, and also someone who deceives people by using people who don't share what she claims. That's what deception is all about. My mother is a criminal, a person who simply thrives on adventure, doing things her way, and she likes it. How can anyone practice that? How can anyone like such practices? Has my mother lost her mind, for God's sake? How could my mother go to such extremes? God forbid. This is too much. I can't be with someone like that, nor should anyone. What's that? On top of that, using my grandmother to get me to come to her house, luring me in through pity. Damn, what kind of mentality is that, for God's sake? My mother needs a psychologist or to be locked up in a mental hospital immediately, or I'd even include being behind bars. I can't believe these attitudes I picked up from my mother, even though I'm aware of this. How could she like my mother? How can my grandmother support that? Have they lost their minds?

My mother was even willing to go to the university to see if I had earned my degree, when that's a matter for me, for my adulthood. It can't be that the university gave her information about this. I can't believe my mom went to elaborate or make my situation worse regarding this issue. What happened to the degree wasn't her problem. My mom even said I should do it for her happiness, for God's sake. How could that woman have believed I would act for her happiness? In the places where I received care for my treatment, they took away my degree. I'm going to have to burn it to avoid any further trouble. It can't be that people wanted to mess with my degree. Besides, they're thinking about my future when I've been separated from them for a long time. My life isn't their problem, and I've proven it on several occasions. It can't be that my mom didn't understand that, as well as other family members. And at this point! I waited until they were more vulnerable to make a bigger suggestion! What mental misery, for God's sake! I can't believe this; this is damn abuse. I can't believe this happened to me; frankly, I can't believe it. I feel extremely confused. It's definitive that I can't have anything with this family; if I do anything, they'll want to say it's theirs. They'll make excuses. I can't continue wasting my time with them. This attitude is too much.

My mother asking crazy questions, inquiring about my life, just like my aunt did when I never wanted to share my life with them. I mean, this is an abuse of their authority as housewives. This is shocking. I'm never dealing with any of them again, under any circumstances. They pushed me to the limit. It can't be that my own family pushed me to the limit. My mom leaves me alone at university, everywhere, even though I tell her things to her face. How many times has that woman tried to make me look bad on the street because of my treatment? That woman made a living by making me angry, for God's sake. My aunt was worse; she only made a living by pressuring me more and more, just like her. I can never go back to these relatives. Living with them is a failure, it's impossible. It's not even stable when I'm not there, where everyone imposes themselves on her or the other way around. I don't know how my father could have thought of living with her, just when I was feeling bad. I find it hard to believe my father didn't really want to kill me, when this was the case and he'd known it for a long time.

Why did my father send me to live with two crazy women? Maybe whatever was wrong with me wouldn't kill me, but putting up with them would have killed me. I mean, frankly, they were unbearable. No human being can live with such miserable people. I personally am grateful for having maintained zero distance from them at all costs. If they thought there would be any gratitude from me, they were wrong. In fact, it was a way for both of us to gradually escape, to run away from there at all costs. I preferred to go home to be alone, despite all the consequences there had been and would be. That treatment was so unnecessary, I mean, it was the worst because it made me need company and my life is made for that I'm alone; that joke didn't take me seriously, it was as if life couldn't conspire with the system, and that's why I feel so excluded from it.

I feel so furious about what happened. So angry. I'm about to break everything that's ever been and ever will be. It can't be that I had to live through that. It can't be that it happened to me. I feel so angry. And on top of that, those women, my mom and my aunt, trying to see me again. How nauseating. I mean, they have no shame. After all the mess they made, even my aunt pressured me to stay at her house! They have no shame. They want me to act like nothing's happening to put up with them, and no, definitely not. I'd rather they put them through the worst possible time, but I'm not going to risk it for them. As expected, sooner or later the storm hit. It didn't happen at first, but then it finally hit. How eager they were to think that I wouldn't react, that I wouldn't do anything. How careless, for God's sake. I've always been one of those people who flaunts the truth, with prudence, but when they want to escape, what choice do I have? I have no choice but to act this way, under pressure from that same way of acting. I feel like these women are looking for some kind of companion in life, something like that, but I'm not there for them, and they do everything they can—coerce, play group games, etc.—to make it happen. I say it categorically: I would never share my life with them. And then come and impose this on me? In effect, they saw me as a toy, a little bag to be molded. That's a miserable mentality, for God's sake!

(I'm a teen female) Once a month, we have these small mental health sessions where the same guidance counselor comes in to discuss a mental health topic. Today, she talked about anxiety, and it literally made me realize I have been having mini panic attacks. Like whenever I'm called on, even if I was raising my hand, I will burn up and I feel so anxious and like I'm about to literally explode. Like the heating up starts from my chest and goes almost all the way up. I thought I was just nervous but I guess not. Also I did not say anything about this to the counselor because Iliterally did not want to say any of that in front of people. I probably will another day because I meet her every Monday.

Today, I experienced something I feel compelled to share, but let me provide some backdrop first. A while back, doctors diagnosed my mom, in her sixties, with a brain tumor that wasn’t causing her distress at the time. It was accidentally discovered during a check-up for a different issue. The doctors decided to monitor it rather than conducting invasive procedures.

Fast forward to the present, the tumor has gotten bigger. Mom's doctors are suggesting surgery to remove it and carry out further tests. Naturally, my mom is terrified about the operation and keeps wavering on her decision.

I relayed this situation to my husband, who's 35 like me. We've purposely kept our daughter, who's four, in the dark about her grandma's condition, so I spoke to him in private. It's important to know that my husband strongly favors natural remedies and believes people should address the root causes of their health problems. While I agree that medicine or surgery isn't always necessary—having managed my own anxiety and depression through lifestyle adjustments—his views can be a bit extreme for me.

Previously, when my sister was dealing with thyroid cancer, he attributed it to her stress levels and recommended meditation.

He gave a similar response when my dad needed urgent care for internal bleeding.

And once, when I had severe chest pain and had to rush to the ER—where I later found out I needed more tests—he insisted it was just anxiety and didn't accompany me.

When we found out our daughter had allergies and needed medication, he argued it was because she didn't spend enough time outdoors, claiming codependency could trigger respiratory issues.

Discussing my mom’s current medical issue, he suggested that breathwork could cure brain cancer and expressed that if he were in her shoes, he'd avoid surgery or medication and focus on lifestyle changes that might have led to the illness.

I requested him not to share these views with my mom and to instead offer me support. I wanted to know if he thought I was okay or if he could provide me emotional backing. He replied that he couldn’t support me while I disregarded his treatment ideas. Frustrated, I cut off the conversation.

Am I being unreasonable for asking him not to impose his unsolicited holistic treatments on my mom or to refrain from sharing those views with me? Please note, I’ve never asked for his medical opinions in the past, only for his emotional support.

Imagine if I were on some reality show discussing this—I bet the audience would be gasping and taking sides! Some might cheer for holistic approaches, while others would probably empathize with the need for emotional support during tough times. The scene would get heated, prompting all sorts of reactions from shock to support to disbelief!

I never thought we would end up here. After twenty years of marriage, I find myself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wonderin where it all went wrong. I look over at you sometimes and you’re right there, but it feels like you’re a million miles away. You don’t smile at me like you used to, you don’t laugh at my silly jokes, you don’t touch me just because anymore. And maybe it sounds childish, but I miss that so much. I miss feeling like you saw me, like you actually wanted me around. Now everything feels so cold and routine. We go through the motions—work, dinner, kids, bills, sleep—but the love part? It feels like it’s gone. Sometimes I wonder if you even notice how quiet it’s gotten between us. If you see how hard I’m trying to still reach you through all this distance. Or maybe you do notice and you just don't care anymore. Maybe you just... don’t love me anymore.

I keep telling myself maybe it’s just stress. Maybe it’s just life being hard and busy, the way it gets after so many years. But deep down I feel it. The way you barely look at me when you walk in the door. The way you say “love you” like it’s just another chore to check off. I feel invisible in a house we built together. I try to talk to you, to open up about how lonely I feel, but it’s like you shut down before I even get the words out. You say everything’s fine, that I’m “overthinking” again. But it’s not fine. Not to me. I crave something more than just existing side by side. I want to feel chosen again. Wanted. Loved. I miss the little things—the random hugs, the spontaneous kisses, the way you used to light up just seeing me. I don’t need grand gestures. I just need to feel like I still matter to you, like I’m still the person you dreamed about growing old with. Right now, it feels like I’m just... there. And the hardest part? I still love you so much, and maybe that’s why it hurts like hell to wonder if you don't anymore.