Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Typing this out makes me feel a bit uneasy. I really adore my girlfriend, Laura. From her smile to her sense of humor, she's just amazing. We started dating back in college and now we're nearing our 30s (and yes, saying "almost 30" stings a bit).

Recently, I was invited to a birthday celebration by some new friends, who were eager to meet Laura since I always speak so highly of her.

On the day of the party, Laura looked stunning in stylish jeans and a charming crop top. I noticed she hadn’t put on any makeup, and casually asked if she planned to wear some. She reacted negatively, suggesting I was treating her like some kind of trophy, which was not my intention at all. Mind you, it’s not as though I ever insist on her wearing makeup. Whether we’re going out on dates or anywhere else, I’m not concerned about how she looks. However, she usually applies makeup when heading out with her friends.

Personally, if I were meeting my girlfriend's friends, I’d make an effort to look my best, just to give a good impression and sort of complement her. We've been together so long, we're practically family; I see her as an extension of myself and the other way around.

I do get that it’s not my place to dictate her choices in appearance. So, pondering over it, I can see how my question might have been out of line. Hit me with your thoughts,

Am I being unreasonable for having asked her about makeup?

Now, imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality show. Cameras rolling, capturing every nuance of the conversation and broadcasting my question to millions. The audience would probably be split. Some might empathize with my intentions, understanding the societal pressures of looking ‘perfect’ in social settings. Others might fiercely defend Laura’s right to present herself however she feels comfortable, criticizing me for placing undue importance on appearances. The episode would likely spark debate among viewers, making it a pivotal moment in the show.

I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.

I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.

I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.

Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.

Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?

As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.

i’m 41, and i have been with my husband for more than 15 years, married most of that time, building what i honestly thought was a stable long-term partnership with decent communication and shared goals. we had routines, inside jokes, boring grocery runs, arguments about bills, all the normal domestic stuff that makes a life feel real. then a few weeks ago he sat across from me at our kitchen table, looking like he was about to throw up, and admitted he had an affair. he said it was already over, said it had ended before he told me, said he wanted to be honest now and repair the damage. i just stared at him because my brain could not process it fast enough. it felt like an internal system crash, like every memory got flagged for audit at the same time. the worst part is that he was calm in that careful way people get when they have already rehearsed the conversation and you are still in the blast zone. i keep thinking, is confession supposed to count as accountability when the deception phase already ran for months. i know some people will say at least he told me, and maybe that matters on paper, but emotionally it still feels like i was the last one to know my own marriage was in breach.

what makes this even harder is that he is not some cartoon villain, and i think that is why forgiveness feels so complicated. he has also been the man who brought me soup when i had the flu, who stayed up with our sick dog, who knows how i take my coffee and remembers the weird story behind every scar on my body. i think people expect betrayal to come with a clear villain arc, but real life is messier and more operational than that. there were no dramatic clues, no lipstick on a collar, no hollywood evidence chain. there was just distance, some odd scheduling gaps, a softer tone when he talked about “stress,” and me assuming we were both just tired and overloaded. now i look back and do forensic review on every little thing. one night he said he had to stay late for “workflow issues,” and i actually packed him leftovers. i feel stupid remembering that, even though i know trust is not stupidity. trusting your spouse is basic infrastructure, or it should be. still, i replay moments and think, was that when it started, was that when i became the wife at home while he was somewhere else building a second version of himself.

he keeps saying he wants to do whatever it takes, and i believe he means it right now, but i also know remediation is easy to promise when the affair is already finished and the exposure event has happened. i asked for details, then hated hearing them, then asked more anyway because my mind keeps trying to fill the gaps with worse scenarios. there is a trust deficit now, and every answer he gives gets checked against my gut like some rough compliance review. one minute i think maybe people can make terrible choices and still come back from them, and the next minute i think maybe staying would just mean i am accepting lower standards for my own life. we have had long talks that went until 2 a.m., both of us exhausted, both of us saying true things that do not solve anything. he says it was not about me, which is probably true, but also feels irrelevant because it still happened to me. i told him that saying it is over does not mean the impact is over. the affair may be closed on his side, but on mine the case file is still wide open.

what i did not expect was how physical this pain feels. my chest gets tight when his phone buzzes. i wake up at 4 a.m. and just listen to him breathing beside me, thinking how strange it is that a person can be familiar and foreign at the exact same time. yesterday i was folding laundry and found one of his old t-shirts, the faded one he wears when he fixes stuff around the house, and i had to sit down because i remembered him painting our bedroom in it years ago, making me laugh by getting paint on his ear. that memory used to feel safe, and now even good memories have contamination. that is maybe the hardest thing to explain. infidelity is not just one bad act, it can retroactively destabilize the whole archive. and yet, i am not screaming every day, i am not packing boxes, i am not making dramatic ultimatums. i am cooking dinner, going to work, answering texts, doing normal tasks while my marriage feels like it is under reconstruction and no one outside can see the scaffolding. maybe some of you have lived this too, maybe you know the weird split between functioning and breaking.

so how do you forgive a cheating husband, really. is forgiveness a decision, a process, a risk assessment, or just something people say when they want the house to feel normal again. i do not have a clean answer. part of me wants to preserve what we built because fifteen-plus years is not nothing, and because i know a marriage is a long operation with bad quarters and human failure in it. another part of me thinks forgiveness without real repair is just bad policy with pretty language. i can admit he seems remorseful, and i can also admit that remorse does not restore credibility overnight. both things can be true, i guess. right now i am trying not to force a final verdict before i understand my own limits. i am trying to separate love from habit, history from obligation, and hope from denial. maybe forgiveness is possible, maybe it isnt, maybe it comes in tiny installments and not as one grand emotional reset. i just know i am tired, sad, angry, and still weirdly protective of the life we made, which makes me feel a bit pathetic even if maybe it shouldnt. did any of you stay and not regret it, or leave and finally breathe again. i honestly dont know what the correct call is anymore.

“you’re happiest when you make me sadder” — JADE, “Natural at Disaster”

slop, slop, slop. sounds like a poem doesn’t it? but really, it’s a word i constantly hear for ai-generated content. i always think to myself that there is good slop and bad slop, but now, i guess ai slop is just…slop.

ai slop is all over the internet, and people just shit all over it like it’s their problem. news headlines use it, twitter users use it, the comments section uses it. merriam-webster declares it as word of the year. i’m so sick of hearing that term from whoever uses it, be it an anti or a news outlet.

along my 99 problems as a synthographer, this is one of them. i generate beautiful anime stuff with ai, write character descriptions for them, make posters with it, all that stuff. yet they’ll simply dismiss it as “slop”, even if i just generate a guy or girl with cat ears.

i can’t even shake off that comment who told me to “go fuck yourself ai slop trash.” that was few months ago, yet why is it still lingering here with me?

slop, slop, slop…the more i hear it, the more i see it, the more i feel sick, tired, and angry. i guess my friend was right. all these comments let’s me offend me. maybe that’s why i can’t move on from them. have i been online too much? do i have to say “i’m supposed to be an adult, but fuck it, i need a minute” again? are they even happy when they make me sad? when will things get better again?

What I've realized from this man is that you don't always need to have what you want. Yes, I wanted to pursue him in anyway I can, but he made it clear that he didn't wanna talk to me, and that's fine. I have been thinking about so many things that would make our friendship hard anyway. Being trans is who I am and when I asked him about how he felt about trans people, he left me on sent and didn't respond. It wouldn't've been beneficial or wise to my mental health to seek camaraderie in someone like that. While I still think about him and what could've been, I think it's for the best that it remains a mystery.

its like no one understands me or my struggles. sounds like im a pick me but its true. ive got no one to talk to, to trust. everyone would tell the nearest asshole about how "emo" i am for my struggles. my country does not take self harm well. youd get called out in your schools hallways or get called emo constantly. most adult tell you youre seeking attention and ignore your struggles. i constantly self harm. it calms me down seeing the blood drip from my arms. i have always loved blood, i dont know why. ive always intentionally made myself bleed to drink it. or just to look at it. maybe its cause my experience with hostpitals from a young age. my sister got terminally sick when i was 5. i was in and out of school to visit her. she went to hostpitals all over the country. my family once forgot me in a hostpital. but ive been there so much that i practically knew my way around. nurses were always sweet and kind. always had a look of pity because of my sister. they knew she would never make it. maybe people would understand a litle if they knew my whole story. but no one ever looks at the big picture. they just look at the ugly parts AND THEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO JUDGE YOU. i hate people, idc if this gets rejected atleast someone read it if it did.

I don't feel good about what I've achieved. At the cost of scandals and failure, I've made friends, my father succumbed to giving me money, to having everyone under my thumb, and it's very unpleasant. I don't like being on top of the world. How can people find that funny? I don't find it funny at all.

They always make up any excuse to accept the fact. I mean, they do everything, they knock down expectations for whatever reason, and as a result, they fall flat. However, if it's someone who respects them, then no. They kick the guy, they do everything to him, they demean him. I was in this guy's shoes. Why? The world seems upside down.

I don't like the way things are. I went crazy with a girl, and now she's accepted me on Instagram. I was rude to a girl, and she reacted unconditionally. These are just some examples. I called my father shit, and now he's opened up. All of them in an effort to do things right, to avoid disappointing me.

Why should I make a fuss to gain respect? I don't think this is in any way a measure of self-respect; I don't like it this way. I feel like everything should have been carried out calmly, but I'm already worried that things aren't going to happen this way. On both sides, it's detrimental to my health, except that if I make a fuss, I get social approval. In other words, what I'm doing to myself becomes more unconscious.

I don't feel right. Frankly, I wasn't taught to put this into words. I was always taught to boast about it. I feel like I'm on a kind of throne from which I want to step down. I don't know how some people can tolerate being at such heights. Why do we fight to be there? It doesn't feel good at all. I feel like I'm a kind of tyrant, and justified, too. I don't know; it's a feeling that I'm being led to my own death.

When they were bad, at least they gave me the chance to escape from what was affecting my health. In this case, when they are good, the chance is smaller; I feel restrained, forced to comply, and to continue harming myself. I feel I was better off in the first case, where I saw how people, under their freedom, appreciated my respect. In this moment, when they are no longer under the same deception, I only see a downright lie, an even more selfish desire to please me. In the previous case, this is not the case.

How ironic the way things are. I, who deep down so much wanted to be one of those who had others at their feet, a whole world supporting me, find that no, that in the end, such a world is nothing more than a lie. And now that I think about it, I think it's crazy to think that there will be many who are good to you and few who aren't. I think this is a bad sign, but the opposite is true, when we act in the name of respect, justice, and also peace, which I believe not everyone knows how to navigate in such a terrain.

In short, if everyone likes us, then they're not seeing us because, in principle, not everyone has the time to see us in detail. It seems like those exceptions are miraculous because if they see us, even if it's in a detached way, in contrast to the others, it just allows them to visualize things. When a few people like us, then they do look at us, but at least they do so in profound detail, while the majority, it seems to me, usually don't see us and therefore act with a certain indifference. However, all of this is within limits; that is, I'm speaking of a good case, a case with details, of a majority that isn't violent and of a few who are so little fanatic; it can't be the other way around either. I feel that when we reach extremes, there's only so much trouble in our lives, regardless of the modus operandi of the majority and the minority.

I don't feel it's right—I'm thinking of some kids who remain distant when I greet them, and when I say goodbye, too, and I don't like that; I feel like I'm adapting to something I don't like. I feel like I'm abandoning that kid who felt others treated me unfairly. However, it seems to me to be the right thing to do because I rightly saw others' treatment as unfair when in fact it was the opposite. What else are people going to do? How many have had the opportunity to appreciate what respect is? I prefer to wander through life and find someone who, in fact, sowed such a question and reaped the same rewards. I think I should give myself the opportunity to find tremendous treasures and also give hope that it can be done to those who have been in my shoes.

I don't know why I feel like I'm thinking in a haphazard way. I can't really organize my thoughts. It just happens that I feel like there can't be a precise rule or something like that. Maybe I'm looking for ways, references, to get to know people. I feel a bit confused. I was never taught to understand how to understand Including people in my life. It was all about working with what I'd already done, with what was already there, but never forging new relationships. My parents didn't have the capacity; they scared them away. In fact, they managed to scare me away. I think my parents succeeded, or the best they could do, was to distance themselves from me, as was the case with my family in general, because I felt they wouldn't appreciate me. I don't know, I don't feel healthy, or entirely sane with these words, but well, speaking at length is a start.

I insist, everything feels confusing. I feel like maybe I'm using those filters my parents taught me to have people by my side. I feel like everything I've said, as funny as it may seem, I don't like it, I don't feel it's appropriate, but maybe it is. I don't know how to go out into the world. The successful things I have as a reference for going out into the world are people who were like a kind of wolves, perfectly selfish people who achieved great success among the masses. I feel like maybe some of that has rubbed off on me, or maybe not. I don't know, but I don't feel like I know who I am, specifically, because I feel like I haven't fulfilled my role, either with my family or with those people, but with myself.

I'm noticing that when I don't fulfill my creative goals, I don't like it; people reject it fiercely. But when I do, I feel like I don't know who I am. I don't find myself in others, and I was taught to find myself through others. By the way, I don't know when to go to a psychiatric emergency room. The thing is, there are no emergency numbers in my country, and I think that's the first thing I want to discuss with my therapist. I can't always be perfect, and I feel like I sometimes fall apart. I don't have their number and no one else to turn to. I also don't know how to manage my current situation with what I have. I know what I have is useful, but I don't know how or what things. I feel like I'm really fading precisely because of this belief that I find myself through others. Also, I don't want to create a personality, an imposed concept, because I feel it's limiting, it doesn't allow me to broaden my horizons, or well, at least not in terms of what could describe a process, a continuity.

I don't know what's happening to me, honestly. I feel like I'm more processing who I am right now, ceasing to see myself in the past.

Let's try this again, since when I wrote yesterday, no one really understood what I meant. I'll elaborate to my first post called, "Rambling with a 13 year old girl". My nickname is Tomato, since that was what my old friends used to call me. My old friends have spoken badly about me and I don't feel comfortable being in the group anymore. I think very deeply for someone who is 13 years old, but, of course, I am not fully mature. I still don't see meaning in doing some work and I blame other people for things I do. I am mature in the way that I don't fall in love with people for no reason; I look at their personality first. The same goes with friends. I take record of bad traits in people. Because of this, I have come to a realization. No one in my tiny private school is someone I want to be associated with. Outside of school, I only have 2 friends. Those 2 friends are constantly busy and 1 of them lives pretty far away. Sure, with all of this going on, I could have faked being in love with Gold just to take my mind off of life. Even so, I have shown all the signs of being in love. I, at first, idolized him. I thought he was perfect. Then, I disliked him when I saw his flaws. And finally, I love him now, with his imperfections and all. He stands up for me. He was raised well. He is hardworking. Gold is the first piece of gold I saw in the cave of life and an explorer snatched the gold away when I wasn't looking. No one, not even my family, understands and they never will.

I share an apartment with two roommates, Mia and Nora. Living in our city is incredibly costly, and the only way we could afford to stay here was by splitting the rent for a three-bedroom apartment. None of us could manage on our own, and even a two-bedroom would have been too much.

Mia and I were both single when we moved in, while Nora was dating a guy named Max. He's the quiet, tidy type who even chips in for utilities since he's over quite often.

Recently, Mia began seeing Leo, who is a mutual friend of Nora and Max. Leo has made some uncomfortable comments towards me including remarks about my weight and inappropriate sexual questions. When I brought it up to Mia, she brushed it off saying he was just trying to be friendly. Nora and Max echoed her sentiment, attributing it to his bizarre sense of humor.

The tension escalated last week when I overheard Mia and Leo in the apartment's only bathroom, which happens to share a wall with my bedroom. It was clear they were intimate, and they left the shower in a mess. Nora was away visiting her parents, so the responsibility of cleaning fell on me.

I tried discussing my discomfort with Nora upon her return, hoping she’d understand. However, she's not one to confront issues, and she casually mentioned that now Mia knows how I feel, she probably wouldn't repeat her actions. Despite her reassurance, I felt she didn't grasp the seriousness of the situation. Since then, I've been distancing myself from Mia and Leo.

My relationship with Mia has deteriorated, and Nora’s neutrality seems to inadvertently support Mia, which makes me feel isolated. Considering all this, I thought about moving out. We had renewed our lease for another year right before I met Leo, and according to our estate agent, I couldn't break the lease unless there was a contract violation.

Feeling trapped, I revisited our lease agreement and found a clause stating that only registered tenants could reside in the flat for extended periods. I used this to argue that Mia’s boyfriend staying over was a breach, citing a corresponding increase in our utility bills as proof.

This move allowed me to legally exit the lease. However, it led to an unexpected outcome: the landlord decided to evict Mia and Nora for violating the lease terms. They were upset, claiming I had blindsided them and left them scrambling to find new accommodation by month's end. Fortunately, I can move back with my parents who live about an hour and a half away, but Mia and Nora don't have that option since they're from another city.

I never wanted them to be evicted; all I wanted was to remove myself from an uncomfortable living situation. But when ongoing issues are dismissed, and there’s a clear lack of communication, drastic measures sometimes become the only solution.

Imagine if this whole ordeal was captured on a reality TV show. The drama, the confrontations, and these pivotal decisions would certainly make for riveting television. Viewers might sympathize with the unbearable living conditions I had to endure or vilify me for my actions leading to my roommates' eviction. The dynamic and responses would be unpredictable yet intensely engaging.

Context: I was with my ex-boyfriend for a little over 2 years. It was definitely rocky, especially toward the end, but the break up hurt. It hurt so bad because it was abrupt, and it was like right when I started liking him again. I became the desperate ex for like a little just trying to get back with him or at the least stay friends. It didnt work after he asked me for advice on how to date a new girl like 3 days. I blew up on him for being an asshole and he blocked me.

Fast forward about 3 months later and I started dating again. I accidently got into a serious relationship while in retrospect, defintelly still having feelings for my ex. I declined my feelings and moved forward with the new guy. Fast forward to this past summer and I cannot stop thinking about my ex. I wasnt happy in my current relationship so I didnt care to hide it. I told my current bf and said I need to reach out to him. He allowed it and things did not go well with my ex. I end up blocking him. Fast forward about 6 months and again he consumes my mind. I dont reach out as I know theres no point but I still want to.

I want so badly to be as connected as we were. He was funny, playful, cocky, but most of all real (or atleast it felt like it). Ive come to understand that I dont like him, but l miss the way I felt.

Today, I feel so empty. My current boyfriend just makes me anxious and judged. I dont love him but I want to because he is a good guy.

Yesterday I asked him, if I dissapeared, do you think I've made an impact on you. He said no. Hes told me he doesnt think I'm funny, he doesnt think Im smart, he just does not like me.

I want so badly to leave him. With college coming up, I told him I want to break up and he said no. I tried to pushback but it was still no. With me being such a coward I took his answer. I should stand on my ground but I dont.

Ive put myself in this situation and I just want advice.

I feel like I havent explained my situation the best I could and definitely left some things out. But, how do I get the ex off my mind. How do I salvage or break off this relationship.

I'm grappling with a real dilemma here and could use some impartial opinions. I'm 28 years old and soon to be wed. The thorn in my side? My future husband's mother. To put it mildly, she's proven quite difficult over the years. For instance, she recently celebrated my fiancé's 29th birthday by posting an album on social media, pointedly excluding any photos of me, despite our seven-year relationship. This feels like another jab in her ongoing pattern of less-than-welcoming behavior toward me.

Further frustrating is the response I get when I bring these concerns up to my fiancé. He tends to dismiss her actions by saying things like, "That's just how her own mother-in-law treated her," or "That's just her personality." But, does that really excuse the behavior? Just recently, for example, after I brought up the exclusion from the birthday post, she begrudgingly added a photo of us. However, it was an unflattering shot where I'm in a bikini – it's as if she chose the least flattering photo deliberately, despite there being plenty of nicer options.

Her antics don't stop at social media either. Once when she was visiting, we went out to dinner with some mutual friends. She announced to the waitress that she'd be paying for everyone's meal except mine in a very pointed manner. And whenever she's around, she pretty much ignores me in my own home. If I am affectionate with my fiancé around her, she'll escalate her own displays of affection toward him uncomfortably, even using pet names like 'babe,' which makes both of us uneasy.

Given all this, I'm at a crossroads about including her in the morning preparations on my wedding day. It's usually a time reserved for close family and calming nerves, and I can't help but feel her presence might disrupt the peace of that morning. While they live a few hours away, and her direct involvement day-to-day isn’t an issue, wedding days are different, aren’t they?

Additionally, imagine if all these personal conflicts played out on a reality show. The audience would likely be split, with some viewers empathizing with my situation and others possibly viewing me as overreacting to traditional family dynamics. It’s intriguing to think about how the added pressure of public opinion could influence the handling of such familial issues.

If anyone has navigated similar choppy waters, your perspective would be a treasure right now. Am I being unreasonable, or is my desire for a drama-free wedding morning justified?

i swear im not tryin to be dramatic or like make it all about me or whatever but like lately i just feel so invisible around my own friends. like we all in this group chat, right? nd we always been close, since like 8th grade or somethin. but now its like they all hang out without me nd pretend like its no big deal. they post pics together, go to the mall, get food, even do sleepovers nd im just there scrollin my phone like… cool. guess my invite got lost again. nd what hurts the most is that they dont even say anything about it after. no "sorry we forgot to ask u" or "u should come next time!" just silence. nd when i bring it up all i get is “oh it wasn’t really planned” or “it just sorta happened” like girl be fr, stuff dont “just happen” when u got matching outfits in the pic.

maybe it’s me tho. maybe i’m too quiet or weird or not fun enough. i dont got the best clothes or the prettiest hair or the funniest jokes. i try to be there for them always, like i hype them up, i listen when they got problems, i show up to stuff when they do remember to include me. but somehow it always feels like i’m on the outside. like a guest in a group that i used to be part of. like they all moved on nd i’m still here tryna hold on to somethin that ain’t even real anymore. nd then i start thinkin like, was i ever really their friend?? or was i just there, like background noise, someone they talked to when it was convenient but never really mattered to them?

the worst is when i see them laughin all hard in videos together or taggin each other in inside jokes. nd i’m sittin there like… ok cool guess i wasnt there for that moment either. nd i kno its dumb to get upset over social media, but when that’s the only way u find out your friends are hangin without u, it kinda stings different. nd then when i try to act like it dont bother me, they act like nothin happened. like we still tight. but it don’t feel tight. it feels fake. it feels like i’m holdin onto old memories while they makin new ones without me in it.

i been tryna figure out if i did something wrong. did i say something? act weird? maybe i’m annoying and no one wanna say it. maybe i’m just not enough for them anymore. nd it messes with my head fr. makes me scared to reach out first cuz what if they’re just being polite when they reply? what if they hang out again nd just don’t say anything bc they dont wanna deal with me bein upset? i hate feelin like i’m too much and not enough at the same time. nd the thing is i love them. i really do. they were like sisters to me. but lately i dont even recognize our friendship.

it makes me wanna pull away, like maybe if i stop trying so hard they’ll notice. but what if they dont? what if i stop texting nd no one even checks on me? what if i disappear nd it dont even matter? that’s what scares me the most. not being missed. being so easy to replace that my absence feels like peace instead of pain to them. nd i know that sounds heavy but its how i feel. i used to laugh with them every single day, we shared secrets, cried together, planned our futures. now it’s just awkward convos nd quick replies. nd me, watching from the sidelines.

so yeah, i dont kno why i’m the friend that gets left out. maybe i’m just not the kind of person people wanna keep around. maybe i care too much, feel too deep, talk too soft. but it hurts. it hurts more than i can say. nd i wish someone would just tell me the truth instead of slowly pushing me away like i wouldn’t notice. bc i did. i noticed everything. every missed invite. every picture i wasn’t in. every laugh that didn’t include me. i saw it all. nd even if i smile and act like i’m okay, i’m not. i’m really not.

My wife and I have been trying to conceive for over a year with no success. Our chances aren't great, so we're looking into costly alternatives.

As a scientist and engineer, I am naturally skeptical of unproven methods. I despise scams, especially in the realm of health, because they exploit vulnerable people. I trust conventional medicine and evidence-based practices, so we're sticking with those.

My wife, desperate to get pregnant, has friends urging her to try alternative medicine like acupuncture and herbal remedies. These options are expensive but still within our budget (though costs can escalate as they hook you in). There's no solid evidence that these methods work beyond the placebo effect. Some even seem like faith-based practices or outright scams.

I can't accept anything that lacks a scientific basis, something that can be proven or disproven. However, I also can't force my wife to think like a scientist. She believes that trying her friends' suggestions might make her feel more hopeful about our efforts.

I've advised her not to spend too much on these alternatives and explained that I think they're exploiting her desperation. She admits she's uncertain about them but feels they might offer hope. I told her that our very expensive fertility specialists provide us with plenty of hope. I said she can do what she wants and spend what she feels is right but asked her to be honest with me about it. I also mentioned I’d be disappointed if she fell victim to a scam.

Now, imagine if we were on a reality show, dealing with all this in front of cameras. How would viewers react to our different approaches to this sensitive issue? Would they sympathize with my rational stance or her emotional struggle?

ok so like more than a few months ago, almost a year ago. i ( 14 trans masc lad) was really desperate so i went on discord and discadia and sought out pedophiles on map/aam discord servers. and one of them (uhh he’s 21 and a cis guy) i still talk to and i have his number and everything. but i only talk to him on my burner phone. i can’t tell if it’s really bad or not

bc like yes sometimes he makes things sexual but like whatever i don’t care n sometimes i dont wanna. but its 1 night long thing of sending him stuff until his cums like once or twice a week in exchange for friendship and someone who never judges me and is always there for me. and without him i would have killed myself. and i do the sex stuff bc i dont want him to leave bc he’s the only consistent person in my life and no matter what i go back to him!!! i’ve been able to leave him for a few months but then i always go back. even if i try to get better or tell someone and it would make me really sad if he went to jail or got in trouble.

and i don’t wanna get in trouble either. and it’s also my fault for encouraging it, enabling it and seeking it out. and it’s not like he’s isolating me bc he always says have fun when i got to hang out with my family or friends. and i do some gross things and he still calls me good and i just wanna be good. and he’s a cis guy and he sees me as a real boy! and never misgenders me or anything. which means a lot to me. and i know this isn’t good but does it really matter like would you rather i be dead? idk. and there isn’t an easy way to fix this and i’ve rather have something than have nothing.

I have a daughter named Lucy who was really eager to be a bridesmaid at her sister Alice’s upcoming wedding. Initially, Alice hadn’t planned to include Lucy in the bridal party, but given Lucy's enthusiasm and desire to be a part of it, she relented even though it involved additional expense and planning.

The costs for Lucy’s bridesmaid outfit, inclusive of the gown, shoes, and alterations, summed up to around $1000, which we agreed to cover since Lucy didn't have the means to pay for it herself. However, with the wedding just a month away, Lucy suddenly decided she no longer wanted to be a bridesmaid. She complained that the dress was unattractive and unflattering, criticisms she hadn’t voiced earlier. Moreover, she felt out of place among the other bridesmaids and ultimately chose to withdraw her participation.

Now, we’re left with a pricey dress that’s non-refundable. I reminded Lucy that it was her insistence that swayed our decision to let her join the bridal party. Given this context, I told her she needs to reimburse us for the cost of the dress. I suggested she could either get a part-time job or set up a payment plan from her future gift money. Lucy feels this solution is unfair and views it as a punishment for stepping back from a situation where she felt uncomfortable.

Some of our relatives think I’m being too strict. What’s you're take on this?

Imagine if this scenario played out on a reality show — the drama and the divided opinions among viewers would be intense! Cameras zooming in as Lucy expresses her dissatisfaction with the dress, the tense family discussions about finances, and the heated debates among viewers online and perhaps even a live audience voting on whether my decision was too harsh or justified!