Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

so today my brother asked my dad if it was fine for him to go to the beach with my mom instead of going to the gathering with my dad. my dad for some reason flipped out and got so angry. he called my mom and screamed at her for 1-2 hours. my mom was already at the beach but didn’t have time to enjoy anything whatsoever. later on the dinner table my dad was telling my siblings and i about how his dad (my grandfather) threw a hammer at him for disrespecting him. my dad explained saying “i never once regretted what my father did to me because it made me a real “man””. he went to the nearby table where my brother placed his electronics, picked his nintendo up and slammed it into the ground. everything shattered and my siblings and i were so shocked and scared. my mom as well. some of my sisters started crying and yelling at my dad which caused me to cry aswell. my dad took my brothers phone and slammed it on the floor aswell. my dad acted shocked that we were crying. he said we are over reacting and whatever. they explained to him that these aren’t normal things that he is doing. and that we have been suffering from him ever since we were kids. he told us to say what was in our hearts. what we have been holding for our entire life. when it came to me? i just couldn’t say anything. i told him that. that i have nothing to say. but in reality i wanted to tell him i much i hated him and how much i wanted him to die. but based on what he did to my sisters. i know if i say something he will just keep going and trying to make me the wrong one. when it came to my youngest sister to speak she said that what he is doing is so childish. my dad looked like he wanted to kill her. talking about how “rude” she is. mind you we were all crying at this point. after everything that happened he took the rest of my brothers electronics and went down to his office. we started bursting into tears next to our mother and then we heard a slam, then another. he actually broke my brothers ipad and playstation. we went to my oldest sister’s room and stayed there while my mother went to talk to my dad. we sat for about 40 minutes when he came up to the room and sat down acting like he did nothing wrong. talked to us calmly. about how he wont changed. and this is our luck that we got a dad like him. before he left he told my brother that he will take my brother’s tv and break it as well. he also said that what happened and what we did to stand up for my brother is “wrong” and that we should repent. my mom later went down to the living room to go away from all the disasters but my dad followed her there and started fighting again. this is when i’m writing this. it’s currently 3am and all i hear is screaming. tbh i’m kind of relieved to hear my mom scream. i’m always scared that one day it will stop. and i would come down with her laying on the floor with blood everywhere. i just feel like my dad would do something like that.

in my dad’s defense he said that my brother is not a “man” because he can’t “talk/speak” well like the other kids. but then he told my sister that she should stop comparing him to other dads because it will only bring her pain. and i’ve had a habit of recording anytime my dad screams. so as soon as he started i hid my phone under the table and recorded everything. as you can tell it’s not his first time doing something like this. not to this extent ofc but once when my brother was 9-10 my dad wanted to teach him how to ride a bicycle. after a while of my brother failing my dad hit him over and over until my brother peed himself.

i’m so tired. so tired. i’m still i minor and so are my siblings except my oldest sister. my dad claims that what he is doing is the right way of teaching us. he sees us as a disappointment. i don’t know what to do. my mother tried divorcing so many times but she couldn’t. i’m dying inside. i want to die and end it all. but then again. i would bring shame to this family for killing myself. because in my dad’s eyes, he did mothing wrong.

so tell me is my dad wrong? is he abusive? if so what kind? am i being brainwashed washed into thinking this is the only right way? what can i do to stop this? i’m so tired and i son’t know what to do.

I am a 7th grader that is a girl and my family is not a good one my sibling can't really do anything without getting yelled at from my mom she hates when something goes good for me she is the judgist mom ever she made me cry jst from body shaming me and saying I was a slut for getting my first boyfriend when I was like 10 so she is not a good person at all she had me at 19 my sister at 17 and my brother at 25 and my baby sister at 31 she is 32 now and for some reason she wants to destroy her life and our life also. I don't have that many friends since most of them moved away from me and some people don't really like my personality ig since they call me immature and ignoring so yeah so I don't really have ppl to talk to since I only have like 3 close friends that don't like me that much my sister shes 15 and sometimes I talk to her abt stuff but she also doesn't like me that much and mostly yells at me and I have more siblings but one lives in Florida and the other two live wit my dad i don't really see my dad a lot but anyway lets just get into the story.So at my school we have halloween festivals every year and this year i wanted to match with my friend that goes to a diff school and the festival is on the friday b4 halloween and my mom she says she will take me somewhere but never does so she said she was gonna take me to get my costume but she didn't and like 2 days b4 the festival she said she was gonna grab the stuff for my costume (my costume was gonna be a cat) and i said ok and she normally looks pissed off so i didn't mind her it was 2 days after and she still haven't came back so i asked my stepdad and he didn't know where she was to and his car was messes up so we had to take his friends car and i had to leave quick but my sister could stay or wtv and i was kinda mad she had to stay but my step dad drove me home and said i had to watch my baby sister like why did i have to do it i hate that even when my mom was there i always still had to watch the baby and do chores everyday and not get paid or anything so i can't complain or I get grounded but a few days later and I have to stay wit my grandma I call her nana not nanna no that's sound disgusting to me idk why but anyway I had to stay at her house and i come to find out she spent 2,000 of my stepdads money without him knowing and idk who cheated on who but I'm pretty sure it was my mom but she is saying it was him when he was wit me and my siblings the whole time but so now I'm bouncing to my stepdads house to my nanas and it's December 21 2024 so I go to my real dads house !! and my favs cousin is there but my dad's other family is very problematic so me my sister's and my cousin are sleeping and we hear some yelling and we wake up it's 5 am in the morning we look out the door it's my drunk stepmom attacking my aunt so my sister calls my nana and we get picked up my my grampa.its not gonna be a good year if that's the start of it ig.but he gets us some donuts or wtv and I hated how my sister treated me like a baby when we was at my dad's house like I ain't no fucking baby like I can handle myslef I don't need you to protect me like they ain't gonna do shjt to me but wtv anyway we go home and right to sleep btw we moved to our grandparents house so if we say home we gonna call house one my grandparents house and house two my stepdads house and we STILL havent heard from my mom.fast forward like two months it's march now!! So I fully moved in wit my grandparents and I moved schools so yh but tonight my mom came over when I don't want her here and also she came over before and I kinda had a mental breakdown and my mom was screaming at me when I was having it and I was telling her I do not want to talk to her but anyway lets talk abt tonight so she fanr over and I was in my room and she was calling me or wtv and I did not want to talk to her I don't even want her in my life bc if u wanna be my mom I alr gave u many chances and she failed me on all of them so I'm not gonna let you be my mom anymore IDC if you want me to talk too you I'm not letting it happen but anyway she came in my room and I was watchig yt and she said I was calling you and I said ik I said what multiple times and she said I don't give a damn if I call you that means come here and I said I don't wanna talk to her and she went all in my face and cussdd me out when she was in the wrong and the thing is I said it in a very polite tone is crazy but she got out my room and I closed my door or wtvand I was waiting for her to leave but im srry it's a long vent I have more but not rn so bye yall

I dont even know how to start this one. uh, should I start with some context before diving in? i've been sa'd. like three times now, by two different people, and you'd think the years seperating them would make it go away quicker. but nope. still living in my head rent free. so it makes talking about shit like that awkward as fuck. or just being touched in any way, like grabbed on the arm, or pushed or anything. very uncomfortable? anyway. I was sitting in p.e and we had to do sex Ed. and they made it a bit odd. they brought all the classes in my year together for it, and yeah. so when they started showing images and talking about shit I just started drawing on paper, ignoring it. or trying to. and my friend who is asexual just found the whole thing amusingly uncomfortable I guess. when it was done Lauren from one of my other posts was like getting angry at us, saying that she was interested in learning about stuff and it wasnt fair neither of her friends wanted to learn this stuff, even though she knew both our reasons.

i’ve been thinking a lot about how i’m the only one in my team who genuinely cares about what we do at work, and i mean really cares about the quality of our projects, the deadlines, and even the tiny details that everyone else seems to gloss over without a second thought... 😩 it’s not even that i’m some sort of perfectionist, i just believe that if we’re gonna do something, we should do it right, ya know? but lately, it’s becoming obvious that i’m the only one pulling this weight while the rest are chilling, and it’s driving me nuts; i wake up thinking about work, i go to sleep worrying about emails, and when i’m finally off, i’m mentally drained and just staring at the ceiling wondering why no one else seems to give a damn. it’s exhausting, and it’s starting to make me question if i’m the problem or if i just care way too much for a job that probably won’t even remember my name in ten years...

like seriously, i keep telling myself that i need to chill, that i need to let go and just go with the flow like everyone else, but i find it so hard to do that! maybe it’s because i’ve been conditioned to believe that hard work and dedication are the keys to success, or maybe it’s just my pride whispering in my ear, telling me that if i let go, i’m giving up on myself. but can i really keep up this pace without burning out completely? i’m 33, for crying out loud, and i’m already feeling like i’m 50 with the amount of stress i’m carrying. i see my coworkers leaving early, joking around, barely meeting deadlines, and i’m here, staying late, double-checking everything, and picking up the slack. it’s not sustainable, and it’s not fair; yet, i feel trapped in this cycle of overcaring because i don’t want to be “that guy” who lets the team down.

it’s funny, though, because when i try to ease off, when i tell myself to relax and not care so much, i get this weird anxiety, like something’s gonna fall apart if i’m not there to catch it. but the reality is, nothing catastrophic happens; the projects still move forward, the clients don’t scream bloody murder, and the world keeps spinning. it’s just my mind playing tricks on me, making me think that i’m the last line of defense for quality and integrity, but maybe that’s just my ego talking. 😅 i’ve started practicing little steps to detach myself, like logging off exactly on time, not checking emails after hours, and even taking my full lunch break away from my desk. and you know what? it feels... good. like i’m slowly reclaiming my sanity, piece by piece. it’s a weird adjustment, but i’m beginning to see that the sky doesn’t fall if i stop caring as much as i used to.

so, what about you? have you ever felt like you’re carrying the team on your shoulders while everyone else is just cruising? how did you manage to stop caring too much without feeling guilty or anxious? i’m trying to figure this out, to find that balance where i can still take pride in my work without letting it consume my life. it’s a work in progress, but i’m hopeful that i’ll get there. 🌅 maybe the secret is to care just enough, but not too much, to know when to let go and trust that it’ll be okay. i’m trying to remind myself that my worth isn’t measured by how much i sacrifice at work, and that it’s okay to prioritize my health and happiness over a never-ending to-do list. wish me luck! 🤞

Growing up, I thought that I had ambition to pursue whatever it is that I wanted. I bought into the illusion that if I evolved into an educated person, I could succeed in whatever I do. That was when I thought all else was equal.

As I grew older, the more I learned about my place in the world. After I reached for my family's tax returns to file for college financial aid, I became almost obsessively aware of poor we were and how much I was so much different my peers at school. I did a good job of hiding it, but I was deeply insecure of how my background compared to other people. This shame carried onto my time in college, where I became reclusive because of my own comparison of myself with the people I met.

My family has never really went on a vacation; we own a house so small that my brother has to set his bed in the living room; our house freezes in the winter because of window drafts and high heating costs; I purposely stay on campus longer than I need to so that I don't have to feel cold at home; my dad has a gambling addiction. In elementary school, I stole books because books were too expensive to purchase; we don't celebrate my family members' birthdays or any major holidays because of the expenses.

Themore and more time goes by, I feel my self-confidence slipping as I compare myself with other people. It feels like my starting line is below sea level, and I'm drowning.

TW, RELIGIOUS PSYCHOSIS,F*RCE FEEDING, AB*SE, MENTAL ILLNESS

This is a repost of one of my writing, it’s so I can read newer comments.

[Present time] right now it feels horrid in my house, been eating like sh*t, feeling like sh*t, and my parents keep acting like everything is okay. I assume my mother hasn't told him that she wants a divorce(look at my other story for context) But honestly I'm scared sh*tless if he does, I'm scared. I'm scared that he'll go crazy again and hurt me or my mother.

[Past time, when was about 8-10 around then] so this was when I was coming home from school after taking the bus, my father recently stopped picking me up at my bustop but honestly I was glad I'm really ashamed of him. So I walk into my house and up my stairs (apartment) and I pause as I heard slaps and crying of my mom...? So I immediately speed up and run to the top of the stairs. There it was, my own "dad" hitting my mom, with her on the floor on her knees crying. I'm 8-10 so I stop and stand still, because what else am I supposed to do??? Yell? Stop him? She looked at me mid slap. "Oh my God! (Name), go upstairs!" is what she said, didn't want to see her get hurt so I listened. I dropped my bag on the floor and quickly ran away to my room and shut my door and sat on my bed. Sitting there. Doing nothing. Hearing her muffled cries and begs. [Time skip slightly, 20 minutes later] she comes up and opens my door as I was crying from guilt and worry, I immediately try to stop and stare at her in fear and worry because I thought she would've d*ed. But she just walks in and hugs me tightly, muttering it's okay. So I start crying more because this is my mom crying as well? And that's all I really remember from that.

[I think a couple days after the last story thingy] so it was morning in my bedroom and my "dad" brought me some pancakes(microwave type). So he sits me down and gives me my food and sits down with me on my bed, start eating them and I said that I didn't want them all. So this mother f*cker moves closer and takes the pancakes in his hand, shoves it in my mouth, forces me to chew it for a bit. So I'm crying. I'm 8-10 then. So he then says "None of this matters, it doesn't f*cking matter!! Because we all are dying and going to heaven!!" so now he puts his hand in my mouth and takes out the chewed up food and throws it at my bathroom door. He has a crazy, big pupiled, crazy smile on his face. So I scream for my mom. She comes running and screams as well, pulls him off me and takes me away from him to her room. And hugs me as I sobbed. And I remember her asking me what happened but I don't remember anything else.

[Around the time of the last timeskip] My dad was in this weird religious psychosis?? He wasn't even Christian for sake!! But whatever... So it was mid evening and I hear yelling as I was doing homework at the dining table. It was yelling about car keys and where were they? Mind you these keys belonged to my grandfather/ my REAL FATHER FIGURE. So obviously I needed to know because it was someone I cared about. So my father says "I threw them in the trail in the woods when I walked the dogs, god told me to." what the actual f*ck???? So my mom goes "what?" in disbelief because really we needed that car. So my mom soon starts yelling at them and they start fighting. Next thing I know I'm being pulling upstairs to pack bags to leave withmy grandpa outside yelling and arguing with my father about keys and how crazy my "dad" was. So obviously I'm scared. I'm 8 or 10??? So I cry and do as I'm told and soon we are running down the stairs and I see my "dad" with crazy eyes yelling "You can't take (my name) away!! That's my daughter!" I'm scared. SCARED. I'm sobbing and trying to get to the car my grandma was in with my bags. So now I look up at the yelling coming from my house window, it's my dad screaming, "I'll find you (name)! I'll f*cking get you back!!" uhm!!! I'm sobbing because I'm scared of my "dad" right now. So my grandma starts driving to leave, the path circles around the house. So I see my "dad" leaning out the window arguing with my grandpa where the keys were in the woods, my grandpa was mad so he started going to find them in the woods. And then I felt my grandma's hand holding mine so I broke, her pink nail polish and her clamy hands felt so good right then. And thats all i remember and the car keys got remade as they couldn't find them. Then I also stayed at my grandparents place for a bit as they put my "dad" in the hospfital for a while.

[Around when I was 9?] so my mom comes down stairs and accidently drops a mug and yells about leaving stuff everywhere and how useless my father was. So my mom starts grabbing mugs from the cup cabinet and throws them on the floor so my "dad" rushes to stop her and yells at her to stop and she does and starts crying. That's all I remember and I remember ending up at my grandparents place for a bit when she went to the hospital for a bit.

Thx for getting this far lol, I'd love any comments or opinions!!!

Basically, when I was 13-17, I did alot of terrible things online such as essentially repeatedly bullying others in an attempt of "trolling", making terrible jokes against groups of people (even if most were in private places where everyone knew it was a joke) and also mentioning NSFW topics or making NSFW jokes in groups with some younger people in it, even if again, everyone there knew it was either a joke or not directed at them, and they weren't uncomfortable with it or anything. When I was 17, I kept feeling worse and worse about myself and eventually tried killing myself. I failed with that and only ended up in the hospital. Now I'm 18, I fully apologized for everything, got therapy, and even got along with some of the people I used to bully back then and even managed to do some small things to make up for what I did for a few. However, I still feel terrible that people will keep beating on me for my past and that I won't be accepted in alot of places or communities for it and it makes me wish I died so I wouldn't have to deal with my life anymore as I have a feeling I messed up my life and will eternally have my past mistakes sticking on me. This got especially bad when I read about some other people, mostly youtubers, who did what I also think was obvious jokes during an edgy phase they had and later even got therapy and fully apologized for all of it, but people still made fun of their past and it makes me afraid that the same would happen to me if I would manage to build up my popularity more. Joining one of these groups of people on youtube that make videos and stuff together was always one of my biggest dreams and now I feel like I permanently messed it up because of what I did when I was 13-17 with how unforgiving the majority of the internet is about past mistakes, even after you got help.

I'm 19 and life should be straightforward, right? But it's not, because I'm in this religious family where being gay is like the ultimate sin. I'm a dude, and I've found myself liking other dudes, which freaks me out. It's not like I woke up one day and thought, "Hey, let's make my life difficult." Nope. I want what my family has: this "normal" life with a wife, kids, and all the blah blahs. I mean, how hard can it be to just like girls? Really, how??? It's like my brain is wired wrong or something. I just wish there was a switch to flip it off... stop the craziness and fit in. Why can't I just be normal like everyone else around me? Why???

All I've ever wanted is to live a life without judgment, ya know? But every time I step into church or sit at the dinner table, I feel eyes on me. Disappointment hanging in the air. It's like a grim cloud of expectations that I just can't seem to meet. I can't share this struggle because it feels too personal, too raw. I mean, how do you even start to explain something you don't fully understand yourself? When will it stop feeling like a curse and start feeling like, I don't know, a blessing or something normal? Maybe it never will... How do you stop being something you didn’t choose to be? Can you??? It sucks. Maybe it's time to ask, is "normal" really worth it??? 🏳️‍🌈

On the 15th day without internet, frustration had reached a boiling point for my partner Rebecca and me. Our connection had been down since two weeks earlier, causing significant disturbances as we both depend heavily on home internet for our jobs. By now, the financial impact was glaring; not only had we lost over $600 in wages, but commuting costs to use wifi at public spaces were adding up too.

Each day, I found myself spending at least an hour on the phone with our ISP's customer service, encountering different representatives every time. Each one offered a unique "solution" or reason for our connectivity woes, but none bore fruit. Promises of urgent technician visits flopped—once, Rebecca even canceled important appointments to stay home for a technician who never arrived. Polite and patient, I thanked each representative, clinging to hope that maybe this time, they'd resolve our issue.

On day 15, the conversation took a sharp turn. Yet another rep assured me, with baseless confidence, that our issues would be resolved by the next day, mentioning another technician would visit. Frustrated and skeptical, I pressed for real assurance. The rep, clearly flustered, insisted there was nothing more to do but wait. Refusing to accept this, a heated exchange ensued, culminating in my insistence on speaking to his manager. After a lengthy discussion, I secured a promise: if our internet wasn't fixed by the next day, our bill would be waived. The next day, miraculously, our service was restored and has been stable since.

Reflecting on the ordeal, I realize despite my frustrations, I might have been too harsh on the phone. Having been a customer service rep myself, I understand the emotional toll of the job. Most of the day, you're bombarded with grievances that you have minimal power to rectify immediately, often constrained by company policies. In light of this, I generally strive to treat service workers with kindness and empathy.

Considering how I tackled the situation, I wonder how my actions would have been perceived in a different context. Imagine this scenario playing out on a reality TV show, where every emotion and reaction is magnified to entertain an audience. Would viewers cheer for my persistence, or criticize me for my aggressiveness? Reality shows thrive on conflict and resolution—they might portray me as a hero standing up against poor service, or as a villain losing his cool. It's intriguing yet unsettling to think how media can twist everyday frustrations into dramatic entertainment.

Would amateurs perceive my actions differently had they been framed by the dramatic lens of reality television?

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like I’m going to lose my mind, friends. I’m not acting normal. I feel like I’m about to interact with a girl, and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to come off like this—with all this anxiety. I live alone, dear friends, and I don’t want to give her or her family a bad impression of people who live this way.

If she’s going to be with me—which I don’t even know why I’m saying that, considering we’ve barely spoken—I don’t want her to think of me like that. I believe people who live alone deserve respect, and often, we don’t get it. That’s been my experience—people have taken advantage of me, played games with me, even tried to invade my space. It’s awful. You feel like the whole world is trying to mess with your life. Like everyone wants to change you. It’s deeply uncomfortable, friends.

I don’t want to go to her house and have her or her family try to change me. I don’t want anyone to try to mold my life to fit theirs—to make things easier for them—or treat me like some kind of servant or tool. People have tried that with me before, and it was horrible. I just want a peaceful life. I want a calm existence where I can be who I truly am.

I’m scared to take a risk with this girl. I’m really afraid. So many people have tried to change me before. I don’t want to alter my habits or give up my solitude. I just want to be left in peace. I feel like I’ve suffered too much, and I’m fed up. I also feel like this girl has reached a breaking point too—that she might have once been very rigid with people like me, but now she’s trying to open up because she’s had enough of that way of being.

As for me, I feel like I’m trying to open up to a girl—with everything I have—while also being precise in how I go about it. I don’t want to lose myself or make her lose herself either. I want to get it right. I’m tired of being alone, of not having a partner. I say it honestly and without shame: I need to be accepted as I am. But I don’t want submission—I want mutual support. I don’t want to be a burden to her.

I don’t know. But I get the feeling we’re all going through this. I feel like her family and mine—and both of us—are all slowly adapting to the idea that we’re different, but we want to be together. We feel like we’re on the right path. We want to be accepted, yes—but not at the cost of losing who we are. We want to support each other while staying ourselves. I think everyone deserves that, friends. We all deserve something that lets us be ourselves in peace—something that helps us grow, something that inspires us to develop the parts the other is missing, to complement each other. Maybe I’m rambling, but I think it makes sense.

I believe—and I don’t know why I’m saying this so directly—but I think that in this family (yes, I’m including myself now), we all want peace and calm. To coexist with what’s different from us, and to have that difference also want to coexist with us. No more fighting, no more closed-mindedness. That’s what we want. And honestly, it’s what’s always drawn us to each other. Why keep denying it? Saying it’s “wrong” just makes you feel like you’re the one who’s wrong. I think in that very difference is where we fit. And we just need to learn how to handle this. Expression—venting—is the key that opens the door.

Also, friends, I want a relationship where—please, God—we can be together, grow together, and talk openly with others about that growth. A relationship that lets us develop ideas, share them with confidence and ease. I’m tired—we’re all tired—of being stuck in situations only we can understand. We want something normal, something that helps us move through society, stay connected, feel supported, and not be cut off by the world’s rejection. Maybe we share common experiences, but now is the time to leave them behind. We’ve had enough. I truly think this experience is good for all of us. It’s a breath of fresh air.

I feel like this girl and I want to be together—and that we deserve to be. Look, there was only one time we sat together and couldn’t talk, didn’t know what to say. We felt distant, and it was awful—unbearable. That can’t happen again. We deserve better. We’re ready to be in a space that supports us, stays close, and wants to understand us as we are. We understand our parents’ needs, but we can’t carry them anymore. It’s too much.

We’ve been carrying far too much for far too long. It’s time for a new beginning—with new people who inspire us to be ourselves. To feel welcomed, and supported, both by ourselves and by others. No more fading into someone else. Enough of that. I have to say it: I feel like this girl and I love each other. And I think both our families are finally ready—and willing—to understand that. Why keep fighting about relationships? No more.

We all just want a peaceful life. Let those who need to walk away do so. It’s time to feel safe—and welcomed. Honestly, I think we’re all going through the same thing. I think her family, her mother, my father, and I—we all feel like the world around us isn’t made for us. I believe this new union is meant to happen.

Tuesday 4:48-4:57 February 4th.

I’m 14 and was volunteering at a musical. Devon asked for me the first time asking me to bring el to him and that I can’t tell anyone and to make sure she’s alone (she’s in tech) she said she had beef with him and didn’t wanna go alone so she brought leelind (10th grader also in tech) el said that he looked like he wanted to say something then leelind walked in and she asked about a student. Then he asked Tristan (in tech) to bring me (Kiera) to him. I walked in and said “what do you need” and he responded with “I don’t know how to ask you this but, I can’t get bricked. I’ve been sitting here trying to and I can’t get bricked.” And I said “ok? What am I supposed to do about your problem.” And he changed the subject by saying “has anyone uhh you know, hit a home run? (Basically asking me if I have had sex.) you know what mean right?” Then my friend Asten walked in and he completely changed the subject and then I paused to think about what I should do. I wanted to get out of the situation so I said “oh my mom’s calling me.” Then I left the room to call my mom and have her pick me up, but when. I called her Devon was waiting around the Corner for me to be done. I went into the back room where Eli was and told him what was happening and Ashton came in so I also told her. Eli then starting following me around to make sure Devon would stop following me. My mom was on her way and as I picked up my backpack he asked “do you wanna have sex” I told him no and that I had a boyfriend then he started asking who and followed me out. Luckily Eli Humphrey (in tech) followed me out to make sure Devon didn’t, luckily Devon stopped following me and then Eli made a comment saying “freaking pervert” acknowledging that Devon was being weird and harassing me. I then sprinted out of the school to my dad

Just a heads-up if the timeline or anything doesn’t really make sense, I am sorry but my memory of all the events isn´t all that accurate since the memories are from young age and filled with trauma.

I come from a broken and toxic family. Abusive father that left us when I was about 10 years old who kept manipulating and mentally destroying me for another year or so with sentences like "do you even like me and see me as your daddy" (which he told to me when he was leaving us and I was about 10 years old). Leaving me with mental struggles from a young age. From the memories I have of him when he was still with us, he didn´t participate in parenting in any other way than „I hear something is not right so I´ll go there and beat them “. Let´s say I was lucky because he wasn´t beating me since I was too young (about 5 or 6 at that time). Not the same fate had my mother and brother which is older by 4 years. Before he left us, he basically made my mother to quit her job to „stay with the kids “since he was earning enough and was paying for the mortgage of our house and after he left, he stopped paying for it fully. Which left my mother with 2 children, without a job and a house to pay for which she couldn´t afford. She ended up selling the house under-priced so we could move into an apartment but before that happened, we were staying at different family members for day or weeks depending on their willingness (this was going on for about half a year). After this was settled, she started looking for a new father for us and after some failed attempts she found an unintelligent loser who comes from a rich family and his dad is paying for everything and even employing him. This guy has no education or anything, but in the span of few years he started drinking and smoking heavily which was funded by my mother since he was getting paid a minimum wage and couldn´t afford his addictions on his own. After a about 2/3 years, he wanted a baby with my mother with the promise of cutting of his addictions which he ended up not doing and I have a younger brother now. I didn´t get along with this guy which is only like 10-12 years older than me at all and had multiple conflicts with him, one of them ended up with me calling police on him after he attacked me but was stopped by my mother. Luckily for him the people from police officers I called was his friends from the inn so he got out of it with just a warning and from that point our relationship was going downhill. My mother stayed with this guy for about 10 years in total before ending things with him for like the 5th time and hopefully this one will be the final one. My older brother got some serious trauma from our biological father and became really isolated and lonely which led to me being his pretty much only friend and I basically overtook the role of an „older sibling “and tried to be the one he can lean on to. My mother which is very aware of her constant failures as a parent to provide a „normal family “and all the stuff around became a real mess mentally which excludes both of my older family members from my ability to lean on or vent out to or ask for guidance. I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, self-hatred and loneliness. for a long time but I´d say I´m clean of most of it for like 4 years now. But my educational life wasn´t easy, I had no idea what I wanted to do in my life since I was really ambitious and constantly was trying out a lot of new things but almost always failing due to something and I never got any support or guidance from my mother so I felt hopeless.

After primary school I went to a secondary school where I was for 2 years before I started to fail it due to lack of interest and mental issues of that time, so I failed a year and changed a school. Pretty much the same happened but I was there for only one year and now I´m at my 3rd secondary school which I´m supposed to study for 3 years there. I´m basically halfway through but there are again some issues. I downgraded in the schools and currently the one I am at doesn’t have the best reputation since it has a lot of having unintelligent students and/or drug addicts. I was always a misfit but I didn´t mind, I enjoy being alone but on this school its different. I´m not alone, I am alone and being harassed/bullied without a way of fighting back Since I can´t defend myself physically because one of my classmates did and got kicked out of the school because „violence doesn’t have a place in school “and my headteacher and the school headmasters are powerless until they attack me physically which they are just not dumb enough to do. The end result of this is everyone I turned to for help in the school told me „I can´t help you, just man up and get through it “. I thought I had a solution for some time, since it is a school where they teach us manual work, we get the opportunity to go into a work while studying and getting separated from your class. I took the chance and was working for about half a year. Since it´s a seasonal job (we can´t really work in the winter) some time before Christmas I was told to go back to the school for the winter and a few days ago I was supposed to go there again for the first time after winter. The day I went there my supervisor told me I am fired. I was confused, but after some digging and deeper thoughts I realised that the son of the owner I didn´t really got along well with and he had a lot of friends and power over his daddy so that is my theory to why I got fired. Now to the current issues. I had a plan of skipping school during the winter so I don’t have to meet with my classmates. This plan was heavily supported by my mental state of getting physically sick, vomiting, having cold, and agonizing headache most of the time the day before or the morning of the day I was supposed to go to school. Which led to me having almost 80% of absence which is way too much and now that I am fired, I have to go back there basically without missing a day of school or I am out. The situation at home doesn’t help at all either. My brother dropped out of college but he got well paid job so now I am being looked down at by all of my family for being “unable to graduate even from secondary school even though I am smart” and getting fired. Few days ago, was my 20th birthday and at the day of a family celebration my close family circle gathered not to wish me or support me. They all came and basically started saying stuff like “its in the family that one child is a failure” or “you know, someone has to get paid a minimum wage”. But not a single one came and supported me, all of them just went to my 20th birthday and started mocking me and making fun of me. I feel absolutely lost and without a purpose with no one to turn to. So I ended up here on the internet asking help from strangers.

I never really thought about how much of our lives bleed through screens until I ended up talking with someone online who felt like they knew me better than people in real life. Isn’t it kind of wild? You log into some random chat, or even just leave a comment under a post, and suddenly there’s this exchange that feels more authentic than what happens at the dinner table. I guess that’s what people mean when they say “we’re not really strangers” online. There’s this paradox: we are technically strangers, but then you share these raw pieces of yourself and, boom, the distance collapses. I told this person about how I used to keep a journal in high school because I didn’t have anyone to vent to. They laughed and said, “You’re still journaling, you’re just doing it here now.” That hit me, like maybe this random human behind a username gets it. Do you think it’s possible to form real friendships this way, friendships that last, or are we just fooling ourselves with illusions of connection? Some people warn about “parasocial relationships,” but honestly, isn’t every relationship a little parasocial at the start until trust builds?

Anyway, I don’t want to romanticize it too much, because there are risks—catfish, ghosting, all that nonsense—but still, there’s a hopeful part of me that thinks maybe we underestimate the value of digital closeness. Once, I was ranting about my job frustrations, how the deadlines piled up and the boss barely acknowledged effort, and this online friend just said, “Take a breath, you’re doing more than enough.” Simple words, but I teared up. That tiny message carried more compassion than the HR department ever did. Maybe the internet, for all its flaws, creates pockets of kindness that we stumble into when we least expect it. And I like to think there’s meaning in that. Even if we never meet, even if I never know their face, isn’t there something powerful in recognizing someone’s humanity through their typed-out words? I hold onto that. And I wonder if you’ve ever felt it too—reading a stranger’s post at 3 a.m. and thinking, “Wow, I’m not alone in this.” That’s why I keep showing up here, because despite the chaos and the anonymity, there’s always that tiny flicker of connection reminding me the world isn’t so cold after all 🙂.

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

I have an elder brother named Michael, who has long struggled with social boundaries due to his learning disabilities. Despite being in his 40s, Michael has rarely left home and never held a job, leading to him having no friends. He has a brusque personality which often takes over family gatherings, where he dominates discussions with his incessant "fun facts," oblivious to whether anyone is interested.

My siblings and I have always had a strained relationship with Michael, primarily because our parents allow him to overshadow any social event he's part of. This behavior was one of the reasons behind my older sister’s decision to elope; my mother persistently tried to carve out a significant role for Michael at her wedding.

Now, as I plan my wedding to my fiancée Mel, the issue of Michael’s involvement has resurfaced. Nick, my youngest brother, will be my best man, while my sister and her husband are also playing major roles in the event. My wife-to-be is adamant about having a traditional wedding, unlike my sister who felt forced to elope.

From the outset, Michael criticized the engagement ring I chose for Mel, bombarding us with unnecessary "fun facts" about how diamonds are overpriced and suggesting I should have opted for a cheaper, second-hand ring instead. His relentless lecture on the history of engagement rings really tested our patience, yet our mother simply chuckled and encouraged him, calling him "the professor."

Mel decided then that Michael could not attend our wedding, insisting that if my parents defended his behavior, they would also be uninvited. She is determined not to let our wedding be overshadowed like my sister’s was.

When discussing wedding plans with my mother, I had to remind her of the shopping incident that pushed my sister to elope: Michael had tagged along and gave a prolonged, unsolicited tutorial on wedding dresses. I made it clear that Michael was not invited and that if my parents wished to attend, they would have to respect our decision.

The conversation did not go well. My father tried to argue that Michael’s chatter was harmless, but I firmly explained that it was the exact reason why people avoid him. Eventually, our discussion hit a deadlock, and I ended the call, uncertain if any of my family would attend.

Since then, my mother has been frantically messaging everyone, trying to paint me as the villain for excluding Michael. Mel and I are in agreement; my brother's presence, and possibly even my parents', would disrupt our special day.

If our family drama were part of a reality show, I can only imagine how the audience might react. Producers might spotlight the situation, presenting it as a classic case of family conflict. Cameras would likely capture every dramatic disagreement, possibly casting me in a harsh light for excluding a family member with disabilities. However, they could also showcase the tensions that arise from managing family relationships in special events, sparking debates on the balance between accommodating relatives and maintaining one's boundaries for their mental peace and happiness.