Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I’m constantly judged in my family and I feel like I’m not allowed to share my opinions. I’ve always hated zoos and beaches and parties and I’m uncomfortable with them. I’m constantly there thought because my family wants to go and I’m not allowed to oppose them. My brother though makes everything worse. He’s very manipulative and toxic. He wanted to go to an open zoo today and said it in a way to make it seem like mom’s idea which pressured my dad. I told them I didn’t want to go to a zoo so my brother made it sound like I want to stay home on my phone all day which made my mom furious. I honestly wanted to go out too but just not to a zoo. My mom argued with me and brought up my depression as a joke while my brother kept making sarcastic comments about me to make her even more furious with me. I came to the conclusion that sharing my opinion in this house is just not an option but even if I stay quiet my brother tells my parents that I’m “acting depressed again”. I just want all of this to end.

Not exactly a bridezilla story, but close :)

Recently, I got invited to a relatively small wedding, about a two-hour drive from where I live, requiring overnight stays which meant booking a hotel room. Considering the size of the wedding, about 60 people including the bridal party, I wasn't provided a plus-one option, which was totally fine by me given the circumstances.

When it came time to book my hotel room, I realized the available rooms were quite large — designed for families or couples with either multiple beds or a king-sized option. Given these circumstances, I thought it would make sense to bring my boyfriend, Tom, along. This way, we could share the driving and the cost of the room. We planned it so we'd arrive the day before the wedding, enjoy a dinner out in a new place, and he would spend the day of the wedding relaxing at the hotel while I attended the ceremony and reception.

The wedding itself was a beautiful event and went off without a hitch. After the festivities, as I was heading back to my hotel room with Sarah, the maid of honor and someone I'm much closer to than the bride, I simply knocked on the door which Tom opened. Sarah greeted him briefly and then continued on her way.

However, a few days after the event, Sarah contacted me expressing how awkward and uncomfortable my decision to bring Tom had made everyone feel. She said that having him there made it seem like he was just waiting around for the wedding to end, which was not the case. We were genuinely surprised by this feedback as it was intended to be a practical arrangement, nothing more.

Furthermore, Tom was never around the wedding venue and only met the bride and groom on a few occasions, so he neither expected nor desired to attend the wedding itself. I hadn't thought to clear bringing him since he wouldn't be participating in or attending any of the wedding events.

Looking back, I wonder how this whole situation would have played out if it were part of a reality show. Would the viewers take my side, seeing the practicality of my decision, or would they sympathize with the bridal party's perspective, viewing my actions as a faux pas? Reality shows thrive on drama, and this misunderstanding could have been blown into a major conflict, potentially putting me in the hot seat with audiences picking sides.

I haven't spoken to the bride about this as she is on her honeymoon and I prefer not to stir any potential drama. Was bringing him along such a big deal?

sometimes i just wanna pack my bags and run far away from this crappy reality. you ever feel trapped in your own life? well, that's me right here, trying to plow through until university starts so i can finally hit the escape button. it's all because of my parents who just can't wrap their heads around me being gay. we're talkin' constant cold shoulders, awkward silences during dinners, and those backhanded comments they think are subtle. i'm seventeen and kinda over the act of pretending in my own home. like, why's it such a big deal? wouldn't life be so much simpler if they just accepted me as i am?

growing up, i'd always prefer to hang out with my friends who have supportive folks. those visits gave me a glimpse into what supportive family dynamics look like. honestly, that's all i want. when my friend alex, who i'm kinda jealous of, talks about his family being proud of him just the way he is, i can't help but wish for the same. my parents think i'm just rebelling or going through a phase. they say “you'll change when you meet the right girl.” sorry folks, won't be a girl. can't they just get that it's not a switch i can flip on or off?

anyway, i'm counting down the days till i head to uni, 'cause it's like a beacon of hope for me. i'll finally get to start fresh, be who i am without caring about playing the part for anyone else's sake. maybe then i'll find my own tribe and perhaps even a boyfriend without the side-eye glances at home. would it be all sunshine and rainbows? probably not. still gotta figure out student loans and handling classes, but it's a step closer to freedom; you know? plus, i'm thinking of joining some lgbtq+ groups to meet people going through the same stuff. life's too short to be stuck in limbo, right? so, here's to making a fresh start!

I don't feel like I have any friends in this life. I feel alone, completely alone, with no one to accompany me. I feel like I'm just going my own way in life, going nowhere. I don't feel good with the people I'm with; I feel hatred, anger, and other negative emotions. I feel like running away from where I am because I feel like everyone is acting like automatons, like completely irrational beings, because they don't consider the consequences of their actions. They live shaping the future, and the worst part is that you can't say anything to them because they understand that's just how they are, as if it were some kind of curse.

I'm with a girl who's there for me, who reciprocates my feelings, for no other reason than guilt, and unfortunately, blatant guilt, because she believed something that only existed in her head about me. I don't feel like anyone else is there for me, not even her friend, whom I also loved very much. I feel like everyone is there for me, that they reciprocate my feelings, for no other reason than because of what they did to me. Under different circumstances, they would all distance themselves from me, precisely to prevent their future mistakes stemming from their prejudices and their own intolerance. I don't feel comfortable where I am and I want to leave, but I don't know where to go, given that I lack the financial means to do so, and besides, I abandoned my career. I feel completely trapped, and everyone is extremely insecure. Nobody trusts anyone, and everyone is focused on maintaining their status. It's obvious that their thoughts are running wild, just like that, trying, in direct ways, at least in my case, to treat me the same as everyone else, when that's not the case, and their hypocrisy goes unseen. What kind of environment am I in? I can't even trust the therapists because they seem imposing and aggressive. They all live in a world completely detached from reality, a world built solely on a few observations and many prejudices.

I don't feel capable of being among them; in fact, I feel like I'm suffocating, like they don't really want me, and it hurts because it's like falling into the same place again. It's the same with this girl, just like with my sister, who was only with me out of sheer guilt for everything she did to me in the past, and who, after having the chance, simply ran away. I feel like I'm relating to her the way I am only so that, the moment she leaves, I won't have any excuse to say anything behind her back. I feel hypocritical, without friends, without affection, and I can't find anyone who can help me in any way. I feel like nobody really takes the world of relationships seriously and acts according to its workings, with caution, but instead they're looking for a completely idealized, unrealistic world. My ex-therapist lives in her own world, absolutely not. The last time I was with her, I went my own way and she went hers, instead of working as a team. What a failure I am as a person. I'm looking for support, help with my life, and for support, a team is essential. However, she doesn't seem to understand that, even though she should, especially since she's a professor at a leading academic institution.

I feel like disappearing. I feel like I'm just a suck-up to the bosses, doing it for the benefit of the other employees, who, in reality, are more like people who crush me in some way, who are jealous of what I've achieved through my honest effort. I feel like none of them can admit they're not earning their living the right way. I don't feel loved, embraced, or even like I'm attractive to women. I haven't had sex in my entire life, not even a girlfriend, and I feel like I'm missing out. For God's sake, I just want a normal life like everyone else. Is that so hard? I want to sleep with a woman, not so much with a man because it's not my thing, and explore her body and have her explore mine, like many people do. I don't want to deviate from the norm, not at all.

I confess that I feel scared by all the new things I'm experiencing, things that are beneficial, wonderful, and pleasant. It's like feeling like the new boss of the place, but it's not easy to leave behind that painful past I came from. I feel like I'm doing well, really well, but seeing that I've achieved this is hard to believe. Indeed, I return to that past in my feelings, but that already shows that I'm leaving it behind, that I have a new life. I needed to express these words. I feel like I sometimes come across as very harsh, of course, I've acted alone, on my own, and therefore I've taken the plunge along with all my fears. Now, I'm seeing them because I no longer use them.

I know it's contradictory to everything I've said before, but I already feel better, more content, more comfortable. I feel like I'm in control now, and that's comforting. The situation with the girl is beneficial; she's like my sister, because there are already reasons for her to get closer, reasons that They are a reason for it, and at the same time, they seem to please her. I feel her becoming more and more open to me, and that pleases me. I confess that before, I spoke in a somewhat different and even seemingly technical language; however, it helps me to use those phrases responsibly in everyday language. I feel comfortable speaking in this way. I feel that I can't tell everyone this. My path has consisted precisely of handling words with prudence, since I know where they come from, and therefore I can now express the facts of what happens to me in a way that others can understand, or at least get an idea of, as happens with everything we share, if we think about it. I feel I have a good therapist; however, I feel we're at odds because I was focused on talking things through completely, while she preferred to act based on specific elements. But this friction is what allows me to see how she works and thus take advantage of her approach. This, in turn, leads me to attend her sessions conscientiously. I won't give her the power to decide whether or not I see her, because I can't entrust any part of my life to anyone.

At least in our work, they are respectful and congruent, to the extent that they can be. Sometimes, I observe that they don't know how to position themselves and get stuck, but that's natural given how cautiously we've always developed our approach; it's not something that's common for them—in fact, it's quite exceptional. I feel like I'm doing well, emerging from a shell, thankfully, where I only saw my past, which I now understand through my own expressions and interpretations. This shell gave me a huge scare; I thought everything was lost and that all my work had been a complete failure. I did all this without a therapist, not because I wanted to—I wish it had been that way—but the person I sought for support became an obstacle to the opposite, in fact, to returning to my old life. Things got to the point where they're no longer even part of my life, precisely because of their overbearing nature. I had to take control of my life and not put it in the hands of an irresponsible person again.

there’s not a category that fits this so i just chose randomly sorry, I don’t know how to word this plus it’s a vent I just don’t feel like living anymore i feel like a burden to everyone in my life, i stay at home constantly i feel ugly and i don’t want people to look at me i don’t even think my mom loves me it just feels like she’s saying it out of pity anytime i vent to someone they just reply with “oh but how would ___ feel?” That just makes me feel worse about myself i sometimes harm myself (scratching, cvtting, hitting) just do i dont lash out on my loved ones there’s nothing and no one stopping me from attempting and im scared im gonna do it soon, im a failure to everyone i even have a not incase i do attempt

After five years of marriage, at 29, I've hit a wall. I love my husband deeply, and I believe he loves me too, but there's a creeping doubt that's hard to shake off—sexual incompatibility...

It's like an elephant in the room, lurking silently while casting an awkward shadow over our relationship. Our chemistry was undeniable when we first met; we'd tumble into bed, laughter echoing around us. But lately, things have changed. Is it normal for passion to dwindle so dramatically with passage of time? Many couples navigate shifting dynamics over time, but our situation seems different—stuck, stagnant. I can't help but wonder if the spark is gone for good or if it's just buried under life's daily grind. I googled "sexual incompatibility in marriage" and stumbled upon countless forums filled with people sharing their stories—similar yet personal experiences adorned with intimate details and advice. It was both reassuring and worrying. "Sex is not the only important part of a marriage," they say, and sure, true; but intimacy feels foundational, doesn't it? It's that unexplainable bond, and when it's missing, it's like there's a hole in the fabric of our marriage. Now, conversations have shifted from "I want you" to "I care about you," which, while sweet, lacks the fervor it once did. Often, I find myself absorbed in blogs discussing topics like libido mismatch, emotional connection, and attachment styles. The jargon is daunting but sheds light on our predicament—my higher libido struggles against his lower desire; a classic case of desire discrepancy. I've tried discussing this with him but broaching the subject feels like dancing on a tightrope, precarious and tense. Is it too much to ask for mutual attraction in a partnership? Or am I being unrealistic in my expectations? It's hard to dismiss the nagging feeling that perhaps he's no longer sexually attracted to me, even though he insists otherwise.

The emotional side of me wants to believe him, but the factual observations paint a different picture. The intimacy we once shared feels like a memory fading away into the archives of our early days. In an article, I read that long-term relationships naturally evolve into comfortable cohabitation, where physical intimacy isn't the pinnacle of the relationship anymore. But shouldn't there be some semblance of desire still? I’m constantly battling with these cerebral narratives—my mind a restless, questioning space. We’re trying to rediscover that physical connection through couple’s activities, date nights, and the occasional weekend getaway. Still, the rhythmic path from date to full-on making out seems to be missing. Every intimacy expert lists "communication" as the pinnacle of resolving sexual disinterest, yet every attempt at initiating these conversations seems to erect another barrier between us. There’s this gap, sparse as it’s growing but for how long? And on the other side are murmurs of questions and whispers of longing. It’s common to hear about the "seven-year itch," yet, here it’s an early symptom; maybe it's a phase, but how long until it becomes chronic? People change, circumstances evolve, but is this sexual standstill a temporary halt or the new normal? Our marriage wasn't purely based on sex, but I won't deny the substantial role it played in keeping the relationship vibrant and lively.

Do I settle into this newfound normalcy of companionship void of fervor, or do I strive to rekindle the flame we had? That question begets more questions, not answers. I even came across a study emphasizing that many marriages survive and thrive on shared goals, emotional bonds, and friendship. I take solace in these sentiments, yet is surviving the same as thriving? We tick many 'marital compatibility' boxes: shared values, understanding, mutual respect; yet this one unchecked box feels glaringly deficient. Sometimes, I mull over solutions—professional counseling, self-help books, rekindling personal hobbies to divert the mind. Yet, nothing offers a concrete answer, just wisps of temporary relief. Should I accept this compatibility hiccup as part of our "till death do us part" package, or strive tirelessly for change? Every now and then, I drop suggestions of change like seeds, hoping they’ll take root in our reality. Still, the ground feels resistant, the air too dry for them to grow. In this scenario, is patience love's true test, or is proactive effort the remedy? It's a conundrum—two possible paths, but one uncertain outcome. In my quiet moments, I wonder, "Am I the only one who feels this disconnect? Or is it mutual silence extending beyond words?" Should we dive deeper into the exploration of non-sexual intimacy as an alternate course, preserving the essence of our relationship through shared dreams, laughter, and camaraderie? If this is the more conducive path to navigate, how do we begin? Despite the battle within, I know and feel there’s still genuine affection and a craving for a shared future....

I am lost, help me guys...

I know it's bad to compare myself but sometimes I can't help it, it's not online people much as I stray away; instead, it's my own sister, her hair is amazing, getting compliments, called a diva by a gay guy, that one hurt, knowing I'm apart of that community, it was so embarrassing that it's hard for me to call myself a trans gay man knowing I'm just a loser, she many online friends as we're both homeschool, friends with anyone, and talks to the family, longer eyelashes. She's on her phone, probably texting her friends all the time. I have two normal sisters and then there's me, it's like everybody can see that I'm the weird one for my hobbies and how I look. I don't like being cynical so I've been working on that but now I just feel bad, comparing myself.

It's hard, investing in my looks by buying skincare, wigs, clothes, and even trying makeup even tho I'm shit at it, I'll never be as cute as those girls or boys online in my own eyes. I see people I relate to online, mainly girls but they're also pretty, I just wish I was at least pretty even tho I'm depressed and mentally ill.

My suicidal thoughts come randomly, "omg I'm 18 rn but I'll be 30 in 12 years and my life has amount to nothing! I should die rn." "Omg my sister is better than me and everyone can tell, she doesn't talk to me as much anymore, maybe I'm better off dead." "Omg my life is terrible and will stay that way, need to die before it gets worse."

My cousins, even the adults ones and their partners and my sis all have a group chat without me, it's like even my family thinks I'm weird or something. I just don't talk much so they probably assume I hate them or something.

That being said... should I try and make friends again? Even e-date around?

I feel like there are a mixture of ai responses and human responses on here, don't tell me to join a support group, I've been looking and trying. There's not many free ones and I have to keep waiting for the right day of the week to even join. Cant even get a therapist becuz I don't even have a doctor becuz my mom wants me to wait and do it with her. It's annoying. I feel like I'm in "learned helplessness", am I?

Anything is appreciated.

I'm only going to speak of a specific medical issue I'm currently dealing with right now. Which probably isn't actually a good thing that I'm typing this on a digital device... But I sorta have an addiction to digital device use. Not specifically social media, but just the use the digital media.

Anyway...

According to the CA Emergency Room. It's normal for me to have ocular migraines. They said that the excruciating pain would be normal. But also, according to my Psychiatrist, I can only take Advil or Tylenol😭! Due to certain circumstances.

The symptoms I have when the ocular migraines happen are:

Complete and utter pain starting behind my left eye. It migrates to pain in my left nostril. Then the pain moves along to my upper left side jaw. The stickles down to my lower left side jaw. The it enjoys a nice right through the left side of my neck. And ends it's painful adventure through my left are down to my pink finger🤕!

Light and temperature play a factor too. If it's too bright... It hurts🔆. If the temperature is too cold... It hurts🌡️. And unfortunately for me... I run really hot... So these migraines make it difficult for me to adjust the temperature, since I haven't learned how to use my cousins thermostat thingy on the wall🫠. And all I need is the left side of my face, neck, and arm to be warm... Not my whole body😫!

At least the Nivea lotion I have is really good at drying my skin out, so I don't have to worry too much about the sweat🥵!

But that's not the point.

I went to the ER while I was in pain and unbalanced as well... And they said it's normal😒.

I went to a neurologist as well... All test came back normal😮‍💨.

I went for blood work... Guess what... Normal🥴.

So, according to many doctors opinions... Being in immense pain, and not being able to walk is... "Normal" for someone who doesn't experience this everyday😑.

Also, the cause of symptoms are based on how much I'm anxious about something, someone, or somewhere😥.

And my life right now is just all about that anxiousness🤪!!

And I wouldn't be responding to any story's/things I've written on this site for a while. Until I get better. I do like to respond to comments... So when I'm better... I'll respond to all the comments or questions later😌🙏🏻✨!!

Ping

Ping

Ping

Make it stop

Ping

Ping

Ping

Ping

Another wave of messages come through

You throw your phone across the room

Shattered and broken

Yet still turns on

Ping

Ping

Ping

Another load of messages

Overloading your brain

You swipe open your phone

Wincing as the broken glass slices your finger

You open your messages

"Traitor"

"Cheat"

"Liar"

"Fake"

You switch off your phone

You can't do it

Ping

Ping

Ping

You burst into tears

Why do they hate me so?

So I face this situation where there's a pretty big discrepancy in salary between me and my friends (when I say big, I mean BIIIIG... like if my friends were european 🤣). They know about it, of course, and the thing is, they often expect me to pay for stuff whenever we're out. It's not just once or twice but almost every time we go out for dinner or drinks, I'm kinda expected to cover the bill, including tips 💸 I mean, it's not like I don't want to share my good fortune with them but after a while it feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

I've read some articles about setting boundaries in relationships which suggest open communication as key (like Forbes mentions that in their piece on professional relationships) but it's easier said than done 😅 How do I bring this up without sounding rude or pretentious? Excuse me if that's not the best word to express what i mean; What I intend to say is that I'm trying to maintain harmony in our friendships without burning bridges.

Moreover, I'm aware financial disparity can create tension within social circles. It seems inevitable yet addressing it requires diplomacy and tact 🤔 Am I overthinking it? Perhaps it's just my imagination running wild with no clear resolution at hand... My concern is that if unchecked, this pattern could potentially erode our friendship over time.

I sometimes hear people suggest splitting bills evenly as an approach but isn't it awkward asking friends who earn less than you do for their share? Having read podcasts on financial harmony among friends gives various perspectives but they all boil down to one simple question: how do we navigate conversations around money respectfully while still maintaining equity?

At times I've considered bringing it up casually next time there's a group hangout scheduled. Maybe something like 'hey guys let's try Dutch-treat tonight' or whatever might sound friendly enough not imposing at all; Guess I'm looking for advice from others who have been through similar predicaments.

You don’t really know it’s toxic when you’re a kid. It’s just your normal. You think everyone’s house is like this, that every kid walks on eggshells, trying not to set someone off. That it’s normal to feel your stomach drop when you hear a car pull in the driveway. That it’s just how things are when conversations go from 0 to screaming in seconds. But then you grow up, and you start seeing things differently. You hear your friends talk about their parents, the way they support them, how they actually listen when they have a problem, and it hits you—your childhood was not normal. It was not okay. And suddenly, everything you tried to ignorre, to downplay, to make excuses for, comes rushing back.

One of the biggest signs you grew up in a toxic family? You don’t know how to take a compliment. When someone says something nice about you, your first instinct is to brush it off, to laugh awkwardly, to assume they’re just being polite. Because you spent years being told you weren’t enough. Not smart enough, not good enough, not anything enough. And now, even when you know better, it’s like your brain refuses to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re actually worth something. Instead, you’re always waiting for the but. The insult that follows the rare compliment. "You did well on that test, but don’t get cocky." "You look nice today, but too bad you don’t dress like that all the time." So when someone is genuinely kind to you, you feel uncomfortable. Like it’s a trick. Like love and approval are things you have to earn, not just something you get for existing.

Another sign? You apologize. Constantly. For everything. Even thiings that aren’t your fault. You say sorry when someone bumps into you. You say sorry when you ask a question, when you talk too much, when you take up space. Because growing up, you learned that the smallest mistake could set someone off, that your feelings weren’t valid unless they were convenient for everyone else. So you learned to shrink yourself. To be small. To be invisible. And now, even when no one is mad at you, you still feel like you’re in trouble. Like at any moment, someone’s going to yell, to criticize, to make you feel like a burden. And the worst part? Half the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. It’s just who you are now.

And then there’s trust. Or, well, lack of it. Because when the people who were supposed to protect you, love you, make you feel safe, were the same ones who hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you… how are you supposed to just trust anyone? How are you supposed to believe people mean what they say, that they won’t turn on you the second you let your guard down? You don’t. Instead, you assume everyone has a hidden agenda. That every act of kindness has a cost. That no one stays, not really. And so, you keep your distance. You let people in just enough to not be alone, but never enough that they could actually hurt you. And maybe one day, you’ll learn how to unlearn all of this. How to stop waiting for the worst to happen. How to believe that love doesn’t have to be painful. But right now? Right now, you’re just trying to get through the day without feeling like you’re still stuck in a house you left years ago. 😓

my day went horrbie cuz I said the most stupids shit I ever said it bad cuz I didnt mean to say that it just came out of mouth I didn't want to do anything about it so I'ma just skip tm I don't wanna deal with this bullshit dude it hurts so fucking much I cant even explain how it does its fucking stupid I just want to kms after that I swear I don't wanna be here anymore after that dude I am hurt rn I am tried of this shit dude..

I've been thinking it's about time I quit smoking weed for good. My main concern is my health, both physical and mental. I've noticed some changes that aren't exactly pleasant, like feeling foggy or a bit anxious after indulging in the habit consistently. It's gotten to the point where I can't ignore these effects any longer; I need a change. But here's the part that gets me: what do you replace it with? I'm not talking about jumping into another vice... I'm genuinely interested in alternatives that could improve my well-being, not just mask the absence of weed.

Supposedly there are healthier ways to achieve relaxation or stress relief, but I'm skeptical about what's out there. People mention things like meditation, exercise or various kinds of therapy. Yeah sure, they sound great on paper, but do they really provide the same kind of immediate comfort as lighting up? There's that doubt lingering over whether anything truly works as effectively. Maybe someone who's managed this transition can shed some light?

i guess what irritates me is how people make it seem so easy to switch up habits just like swapping out a pair of socks. They say you'll feel renewed energy (some even say happiness) almost right away when you stop smoking weed. uh-huh sure... I'll believe it when I see it; for now, this whole process feels daunting at best.

It's difficult to imagine getting through stressful days without reaching for something that's been a reliable crutch for so long. Is there ever really a perfect substitute? Or am I destined to wander through endless suggestions from well-meaning folks who haven't quite walked in these particular shoes?

My aim isn't just to complain (I'm seeking real advice here!!) but until I start getting tangible results from trying other methods, skepticism will likely remain my constant companion 🤷‍♂️

i myself am 17 and i started talking to this guy lets name him john. i found john cute and we had a thing going on for a while. i cut him off after i got to know that he went to a spa and got a handjob from a lady who is twice his age?. he kept texting me asking me to work things out and i thought he was seriously in love with me.

this is where the actual story begins. today i followed back an old friend lets name him mike, he texted me asking why dont you and john talk anymore and i said it didnt work out. he later went on to explain me saying john called me a bitch and whore and said that i asked john for sex while he wanted to take it slow WHILE IN REALITY, the first day i met john, he got me drunk and tried to makeout with me and i said no and pushed him away. the next day i went to his place cuz he was home alone and he FORCED me into sex, he pulled down my pants unwillingly and kept saying "just the head please just for a bit" i kept saying "NO" multiple times but it was useless, he was already on top of me and i couldnt push him away and eventually it turned into a rape. when this happened i blamed myself and said im just overthinking and he probably didnt mean to do that, but then i found out that john was an actual serial rapist.

while me and john had a thing going on, john didnt like how i was following mike and kept asking me to block every account of his and said that "mike will say shit bout me that isnt true" but now i realise the reason why john wanted me to block mike. mike knew the truth about everything. i will share each story of how john raped these women.

from what i know, john was once talking to this 19 year old while he was 15 and consoled her cuz she was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend. next day he gets her drunk and take her to his old house's terrace and raped her there, the girl couldnt do anything but stay silent. john also once fucked his mom's bestfriend who was drunk sleeping on the bed, she was a 40 year old married woman. when she tried to sue john, johns parents (40yr olds bsf) payed them money so that they wont have to deal with something serious. john has done this to multiple women where he takes advantage of them while they are drunk or force them into sex and infact i found out that john only didnt get handjob from the spa but he also fucked the spa lady and ejaculated inside her WHILE he was sober. and mind you hes 15 and 16 in all this. and currently hes with mikes ex, cuz mikes ex wants mike to feel jealous so she got with john and guess what john did? force her into sex 3 times. AND worst part is she knows bout me and i was talking to john as well after all this. i was talking to john only because i thought he was genuine but after finding out about this im super disturbed and i started shaking cuz i finally realised that i was overthinking and he did actually rape me. i cant even blame him because after all that happened i still kept talking to him and tried to brush it off. oh btw hes not over his ex he dated for 3yrs and tht was really long back so every girl he dated he just used them for their body, his body count is more than 50.

its the fact that this guy has been getting away so easily with it is so fucked up, you see these things in movies... all these girls including myself are helpless cuz we cant sue him because we dont want any trouble and no one is going to believe us. this guy manipulates and lies his way thru just for sex and its genuinely disturbing, i dont think i can sleep anymore. his mom and dad knows about this yet they let him do whatever he wants. worst part is his mom is a proud feminist who says "women must be independent, she shouldnt be afraid to speak up blah blah blah" and when it comes to her son raping others suddenly she becomes blind and hes a really good guy in her eyes. i genuinely saw her as my role model but shes.. no words. if i were johns mom, id kill my son. i hope john goes through the worst karma in life that he wishes he was dead everyday but nothing lets him die so he just has to suffer daily in the most painful way.

i dont even know what i did wrong to make people hate me this much, like fr i wake up every morning already feelin sick cause i know what’s waiting for me at school, it’s like a warzone where i never get to win, i walk in and people already lookin at me like i’m some kind of freak or like i don’t belong there, nd maybe i don’t idk, maybe i’m just weird or my face looks dumb or i wear the wrong shoes or whatever stupid reason they decide is enough to mess with me every day, they say stuff under their breath when i pass by, throw little pieces of paper at me in class, call me names like loser, creep, sometimes worse and the teachers don’t even do anything about it, they just say “ignore them” like that’s gonna make it stop, like i haven’t tried that a thousand times already, and the worst part is that it’s not just random kids, some of them i used to be friends with in middle school and now they act like i’m trash, like they’d rather die than be seen talkin to me, nd it hurts so bad cause i didn’t change, they did, or maybe i changed and i just didn’t realize it, i try not to cry but sometimes i do when i get home, and even then i hide it cause my parents don’t get it either, they just say stuff like “it builds character” or “they’re jealous” but jealous of what??? i got no friends, no style, no confidence, i eat lunch alone in the corner of the cafeteria hoping no one notices me cause the last time someone did they dumped ketchup on my backpack and laughed like it was the funniest thing ever, nd i had to pretend it didn’t matter even though it totally did, like everything they do chips away at me little by little and i’m tired of pretending it’s fine, cause it’s not, and the worst part is when i try to act normal or be nice people just laugh harder, like they can smell the desperation or somethin, and i just wanna scream why are people so mean to me, what did i ever do to deserve this, i try to keep my head down, i don’t start stuff, i just wanna survive school without feeling like garbage every day, but apparently that’s too much to ask, nd sometimes i think about just disappearing, like not dying or anything extreme just… not existing for a while, like vanishing until people forget i was ever there cause at least then i wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore, like maybe in another school or another life i’d be normal and ppl wouldn’t hate me for no reason, but right now i just feel broken, like everything i do is wrong and no one wants me around, and idk how long i can keep acting like i’m ok when i’m clearly not.