Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

So I play DnD 5e a lot. I'm not diagnosed autistic, but I wouldn't be surprised if I actually was; and if I am, then DnD is definitely my special interest. But I've only DM'ed campaigns for the entire time I've played, except for two sessions. So I look outside of my friend group. I search online everywhere. But I for the life of me cannot find a campaign to be in. It's starting to mess with me; I feel like a weird stress/anxiety, and if I don't play again soon I may go mad I fear

I had a best friend but I drifted apart from her. We were friends for over 17 years, basically since we both joined school. But as the years went by I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by her behaviors and actions as she never used to share important stuffs about herself with me but others would know ( such as I was the only one in our friend group who did not know that she was going abroad for her higher studies ). Not only that, sometimes she used to tell me that I can't / shouldn't talk to her for a month because our exams were coming up but she used to talk to everyone else. These kinds of things made me doubt about our friendship but then sometimes she used to show signs that she cared about me such as once she showed me letter that I gave her in grade 7 and told me that she still keeps it with her all the time. After she went away I tried communicating with her but she never reciprocated the same energy. So I stopped trying, for which we drifted apart. When she came over for summer vacation this year she asked my other friends regarding me but never directly asked me. Despite all of these stuffs, I still miss her dearly, I sometimes wonder if it's completely my fault or not that our friendship broke. I wish I could fix it but I don't know how to as it has already been over a year since we stopped talking.

It’s not a love story, but it honestly sounds like the beginning of a romance book. Here it goes, it may be lengthy.

Three months after I started my job, one night a guy walked in. Never seen him before and he walked up smiling at me, all confident. I gave him our rewards card and we were making a lot of eye contact but I tend to do that to a lot of people so I wasn’t really thinking much of it.

He came in again the next day, I picked up the shift last minute or I think a few days before. I can’t really remember but I just know I that I wasn’t originally scheduled. He walked in, holding eye contact with me the whole time then he walked to get a drink and came up to the counter. I greeted him, he said hey back. Started the transaction, noticed he had a crack on his phone in the shape of a bullet. As if someone had shot his screen and I pointed it out then asked how it happened. He told me then started telling me about how he just moved here but I wasn’t hip yet :( Finished and as he was walking away, he turned around and said “bye”.

A week passed and I was clocked out ordering food and I heard a voice, looked up and he was standing at the counter! I looked back at the ordering screen and as he was leaving, I seen him look at me out the corner of his eye.

Two weeks passed, I was on cash register for about 3 days in a row and I got annoyed with dealing with people so midway through my shift I asked a coworker if he wanted to switch stations. I be in kitchen while he’s on register. I’m in the kitchen for about 30 minutes and while I’m making a pizza, I get an order for chicken tenders. Look behind me, no one is standing at the screens. Then as i’m cutting the pizza, I just randomly look up and he’s standing first in line at the cash register. It was a long line because we were busy with people but only had two food orders which was not common at all. So when I noticed him, I will admit that I tried to go up there and “help” with the line to see him up close but another coworker was already there helping. Walked backed to the kitchen and not even a minute later, he’s walking towards the dining area, sits on the table in the middle that looks directly into the kitchen. My heart starts racing and I don’t know why! It’s never like this not even when I am dating guys. I was too shy to say anything to him. As I’m bagging his order, he’s up asking if it’s his before I can even print the label. I nod my head yes and we’re just looking at each other while exchanging the bag. He said “Thank you, bye” starts walking, turns around and says “I appreciate you”.

Another two weeks, It’s a rainy evening and there’s no customers in the store so I go to the back and get containers to restock some things and as i’m heading back, there’s two people in line. An older guy and a guy in a hoodie and beanie. The older guy is asking for help to set up his rewards account so I tell hoodie so can take him at the next register. I ask to scan his rewards and notice the bullet crack so I said “you’re the bullet guy”. and he smiled and said “yeah” but he wasn’t making eye contact anymore so I thought I made him uncomfortable and just finished the transaction in silent. He left.

ANOTHER TWO WEEKS!!!! I picked up a shift I know for sure was last minute because it was more recently. About two hours after clocking in, i’m sweeping an isle and look to my left and there’s a guy just looking at me from over a shelf. We stared at each other for about 5 seconds then I looked down then did a double take because I recognized him and he smiled so big and waved then I smiled back while waving then he walked towards a girl… ummm okay!

I seen him a few times after that but I never interacted with him because I wasn’t on cash register and I thought he had a gf so I never went out of my way to talk to him like I originally planned to on the day he smiled at me.

Then end of January I met a guy I started talking to, him and I only lasted two months, that’s a different story. But a few days after I met him, the guy came into my job. Eye contact on heavy but honestly I didn’t want to look at him because he’s so beautiful and I can’t hide my eyes. He came up the corner all like “Heyyyy,” and smiling and I said hey back and we started the transaction. As I was bagging his items, he started to help me and grabbed the bag. Before leaving said, “Thank you, thank you… I really appreciate you… Have a good night” that was odd from him. The “…” doesn’t do the pauses he did justice, it was more dramatic irl. Did some thinking and I came to the conclusion that he probably wanted to ask me something but changed his mind?? Idk

Three months passed and it’s now April. My job cut my hours a lot mid February and i was working one day a week every other week, it was brutal. For four hours at that! I got hired at a new job and decided to work my last day which was on a random Thursday when I am usually scheduled only on Wednesdays. I get to work, guy is no longer on my mind. I made up my mind that I was probably never going to see him again. My friend was on cash register but she was doing task so I was asked to take over. An hour later, he walks in and the sun is shining right on his face lmao, I know I sound crazy but that’s how dramatic it was! We noticed each other at the same time! Then i noticed that he walked in with a girl but a different girl and not to sound even more crazy but this girl lowkey resembled me. First girl didn’t at all, it’s like his typed changed.

They get their items and as I’m helping a lady in line they get behind her and I swear I can feel his eyes on me but I think everyone is looking at me so I don’t pay it no mind. She leaves, they walk up, placed their items on the counter. He places his drink in the middle of the counter, she places hers on the edge super close to her then folds her arms. When people do that, they’re usually paying separate so that’s what I originally thought. I almost told him his total but decided to ask if he was paying for her and he was so I went to grab the drink then reached for the candy bar the same time he did and our hands touched. First time we ever made contact.

I just, like why on my last day?! It doesn’t make sense! I don’t see him for months then on my last day he comes in and we touch hands now I can’t get this thought out of my mind like it was fate. I was never the one to believe in fate but like this doesn’t make sense. I’ve never had interactions like this, with the same person multiple times ever in my life. I’ve had crushes and i’ve found men attractive but my body never reacted to them the way it does to this stranger! Idek his name and i can hardly remember his face but i still can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t like it. I can’t tell anyone im close to about this because then they’ll think im crazy. I already think im crazy. idk i just had to vent. i have a feeling that we’re going to run into each other again out in the wild but then i feel crazy for thinking that.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Good night, people....

How horrible is attachment to people, especially if you believe you can ever have a relationship.

8 months ago, I met a man 15 years older than me. From the first day I saw him, I was smitten, I loved his smile and how good he smelled.

The bad thing is that he was the boyfriend of a friend of mine.

I think I manifested everything because I imagined everything happening. I looked for the opportunity when he was fighting with his girlfriend so I could talk to him. Her number was given to me by her, who was his girlfriend, for some loans he made. Honestly, people, I know karma is going to fall on me, even though I've already shut up, but it was

stronger than me. It wasn't that difficult to interact with him (First red flag)

But we started seeing each other. No one can imagine how gentlemanly, attentive, and all around he was with me (love bombing, second red flag). The truth is, since he's so many years older than me, I didn't think he could be the same as everyone else. He was very different from the last person I'd been with. I felt like we were on the same page, but the truth is, we weren't.

Well, to all of this, I'm clear that he didn't want anything serious, but people proved the opposite. We went on a trip and had a great time until one day his ex found out we were seeing each other. She talked trash about me, and he believed her. The girl looked for me to hit me, exposed me on social media, and he asked me to break up because "I didn't really know what I wanted."

I cried for 3 days because that anguish came back from all the times my ex left me crying days and nights (third red flag).

Those three days, he slept with her, she posted stories, and they reached me.

I felt super humiliated and sad because that's when he showed his true colors. I WAS DISAPPOINTED. He asked me to talk and told me he didn't want to stop seeing me, and that was when I was LOVE BOMBED.

He would do things like eating together, going for walks, jealous scenes, sending good-morning messages every day, and commenting on every single thing I posted.

That was until he got tired of me because the attention was getting less and less.

I started to realize there was another girl besides the ex, and that he treated all three of us equally, with trips, concerts, meals, walks, jealousy, details, etc.

At one point, he started not answering me, or he would only do so every 3 or 4 hours, and the fear started to set in again. I don't know what the fear is, but it drove me crazy. They kept ringing the phone to see if he'd talk to me, and if he didn't, tears would automatically fall. I don't understand why, but it's something that develops on its own, and sadness sets in. Until finally, he spoke to me and his soul returned to my body.

The day came when I got married, and I put him to the test. I exaggerated a little, but I was sure I wanted to get out of there no matter what because anxiety was eating away at me.

I blocked him from everywhere because I believed that would work my attachment and at the same time, I would see his reaction.

I couldn't last a week. During that week, I was in bed for two days, vomiting for three, and feeling very ill. My body spoke volumes. I asked him to talk, and his response was that he was going on a trip and that he would call me that night. I waited until 1:00 in the morning by the phone. He never called me back.

I can't explain how bad I felt. He rejected all the attention I had paid him, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. He had gone off with the other girl. He destroyed every hope I had, and he never called me again.

(I don't know how many red flags I'm throwing)

I couldn't stand not being able to talk, not being able to see him. I needed him, until I called him crying, telling him how bad he made me feel.

His response was: "I apologize, but I don't have any feelings for you. That doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore."

And I accepted their feelings just to be there. I can't express the ups and downs of emotions I'm going through. I can't get out of there, and I'm not having a good time either. I feel like if I walk away, I'll go through that whole painful process again, and I don't want to. Today, they haven't spoken to me all day, and neither have I. But I'm the one who maintains the connection because I'm always the one who makes the first conversation and the one who asks to meet up.

How do I get out of here, God? Sometimes I really pray to meet someone else, but nothing calls to me.

I know that no matter what they say, it's going to be a nightmare. I just want to skip the sad part.

I'm 19(F) and I fucking hate myself lmao. I know I'm fat and ugly but I really thought that there would at least be one person that would like me despite that, but apparently not.

It's been about a year now since my childhood friend confessed to me. He said he liked me and shit, but he never did make the effort to meet me outside. We talked for a few months but I got busy with school (we had to make a research paper) and next thing I knew, he found himself a girlfriend. An online girlfriend. He confessed first yet he was also the first one to leave. Apparently said girl confessed to him on New year's eve last year and he didn't even bother telling me about her. He told her he liked me and stuff so he rejected her, but the moment I couldn't give him attention he up and left me for someone he hasn't even met irl. We grew up together since kindergarten; we've been classmates the entire time up until 11th grade. And he broke it all off so easily. He even added the girl to our private group chat with our friends which I MADE. I guess the short haired childhood friend really can't win, huh?

Well anyways, aside from that, I found out just a few days before he confessed to me, he was making moves on my other friend. Which is so fucking shitty of him?? I mean, he confessed to me right in front of her too so that was weird as fuck? I didn't know this at the time though, my friend was kind of confused too but she didn't bother telling me up until recently. So this basically just meant he chose who was easiest to get with between the both of us :/ I can't believe I was fooled, I thought that just because we grew up together, that he could do no wrong. He was always a kind person in my eyes. And he always acted kind towards me. Especially during the days leading up to his confession, but I guess it was all just love bombing.

This was my first time ever being confessed to irl. This was my first relationship. I thought I could trust him. I thought I knew him. I can't believe I'm still hung over his ass. My experience with him makes me feel so shitty, I feel so used. I feel like the only way someone would choose me would be for me to be the last option. I fucking hate that.

I want to be loved. I want to be lusted over. I want to get attention from others, be it from males, females, or gender queers. I wish someone would love me to the point of sexualizing me, or sexualize me to the point of loving me. I hate this so much. I don't know why I correlate sexual appeal and attractiveness to my own self worth. I tell other women not to let that weigh them down but here we are. I'm so sick of myself. Even when I try to lose weight it all just comes back.

hey, im tj and i would like to vent.

my life sucks and i feel as if i dont matter.

my sister is constantly rude to me, my mom is busy and doesnt have time to talk and my dad would belittle me if i tell him aboutt my struggles.

the only people keeping me alive are my friends.

I never really thought about this before, but now that I’m reflecting on a lot of my behaviors and what triggers a shopping spree, I noticed I never really feel an urge to shop in person. It’s almost like the instant gratification is something I avoid, because the waiting/tracking makes it more satisfying. I think I’m addicted to the process, really. You see “the” item, it’s perfect, it’s the last thing you’ll need in a while. Actually, it’s the whole outfit you’re iso, I mean the top might not look as good if it wasn’t styled the same way right? This way you can be sure you stop for a while. You scroll for hours and hours finding the perfect item. The hunt has your heart beating just a little faster, you feel good. Along the way you see a couple more items you like, you add it to the bag. You need the perfect top for that event next weekend right? After all, it’s the only thing that would go with what you plan to wear. The total keeps racking up. Unbeknownst to you, because you’re too excited to check or think about exactly how much you’re spending. At this point, you’re beginning to feel a little guilty because you spent a little more than you could afford earlier this week. But that’s okay, because you need more long sleeves for winter right? You’ll get good use out of that extra top. You go to check out, you begin to feel nervous and paranoid about spending the money. This is will be the last time. You hit “checkout”. You’re entering your card information but you’re not really thinking clearly, it hasn’t truly set in. The part of you that wants these items so badly tells you you can’t live without them.

It’s been a couple days, and by now you’ve received your items. You’ve opened them up (or not). Your excitement has kind of fizzled out at this point. You’re happy, but you’re nowhere near as elated as you were when you were checking that tracking number every couple hours.

A day or two goes by, or maybe it was just an hour. you’re scrolling endlessly through social media again, and that’s when you see it. You’ve finally found “The item”.

Then the process repeats itself, and the funny thing is that you’re still convinced you’re going to “quit for good this time”. It’s really an awful cycle!!

I sometimes wonder, what if I was on a reality show about shopping addiction? How would people react to my habits being broadcasted? Would they understand or judge me harshly? It's scary to think about, but maybe it would help me break free from this cycle.

The first time I saw you, my whole world changed

A love so instant, it couldn't be explained

One glance, one smile and my heart took flight

I knew I found my forever that night

Your smiles a sunrise that brightens up my day

Your laugh is the music that carries me away

Your eyes are the stars that light up my skies

A whole universe lives in the depth of you eyes

We joke about fire, a spark, a flame

But nothing on earth could burn quite the same

For you are the fire that lights up my soul

The passion, the comfort, that makes me feel whole

I cherish the moment, our very first meet

How my heart stumbled, skipped a beat

Love at first sight, it was written it's true

From that moment onwards, my heart choses you

Since then my love you've become my song

My reason, my comfort, where I belong

You're laughter in silence, light in the rain

My joy in the sunshine, my balm in the pain

No treasure compares, no riches, no gold

To the love we share, the hand I hold

For life can change and the world can bend

But my love for you will never end

Through days of wonder and nights of rest

I know with you I am truly blessed

For love like ours is a rare, bright flame

A story eternal, that no one can tame

I see our future, a thousand days

With laughter and warmth in endless ways

From morning coffees to midnight talks

To holding your hand on long, sweet walks

I dream of a home where your smile resides

Where peace and devotion forever abide

Where walls are filled with laughter and care

And every corner whispers "love lives here"

And even In moments when life feels tough

Your love alone will always be enough

For with you by my side I cannot fall

You are my strength, my heart, my all

If the years grow heavy and time runs fast

My love for you will forever last

Wrinkles may come and hair may fade

But our flame will burn the same way it was made

So take this vow, my promise, my song

With you my love is where I belong

From first song to last breath

My soul will stay true

For it's always been me

And it's always been you

After completing my master’s degree and securing a promising career, I’ve come to a challenging crossroad involving my family. Throughout my educational journey, my parents didn't offer financial support. Despite living a lifestyle filled with vacations, new vehicles, and home upgrades, they insisted if I wanted higher education, the financial responsibility was entirely mine. This stance forced me to balance part-time work with student loans to afford my studies.

Years have passed, and now as retirement looms, my parents expect financial support from me due to their inadequate savings. Recently, my patience wore thin, and during a heated conversation, I expressed my frustration. I reminded them of their financial decisions during my struggles with education and told them they should have planned better for their retirement instead of indulging in luxuries. I made it clear that I am not their financial backup plan and that they need to sort out their retirement issues as I had to with my education.

My confrontation left my mom in tears; she claimed they had sacrificed a lot during my childhood, and now it seemed like I was abandoning them. My dad labeled me ungrateful and selfish, throwing in the guilt-laden reminder of their 18 years of upbringing. My siblings have joined the fray, labeling me heartless for not aiding our parents, pointing out that I am better off financially compared to them. Regardless, I feel that they need to face the consequences of their choices.

The situation escalated further when I declared I wouldn’t provide care for them in their old age, regardless of their financial or health status in the future. This stance has shocked my siblings, with some arguing that it’s too harsh, but I am resolved to maintain my decision.

Considering if my story were to unfold on a reality TV show, the viewer's reaction could be intensely polarized. Some might view me as cold and unforgiving, while others could see me as a symbol of tough love and personal boundaries. Reality TV thrives on conflict and dramatic emotional exchanges, so such a storyline might draw a considerable amount of attention and debate among viewers, potentially making it a central theme of the show.

Am I wrong for denying my parents financial support for their retirement?

My son, Alex, recently finished high school and we were funding his upcoming road trip with his pals. The journey was scheduled for Wednesday when unexpectedly, my in-laws met with a severe car accident in another state, turning our plans upside down. We faced a daunting four-hour drive as my wife was deeply distressed, her father was in a critical state, but fortunately, he survived.

We have two younger children aged 11 and 7, and leaving them alone wasn't an option. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any last-minute babysitter; even our neighbors couldn’t help out. Thus, Alex, who is 18, had to step in. He was understandably upset but had no choice. I promised him we would compensate him and tried to get him to reschedule the trip with his friends. However, they couldn’t postpone it.

After my wife and I spent two days away, and with my wife staying behind to be with her parents, I returned alone. When I talked with Alex upon return, trying to sort out how he could still catch up with his friends, he was extremely frustrated, arguing that too much of the trip had already been missed. Despite still having 12 days left from the two-week trip itinerary, he felt disheartened and locked himself in his room after calling me unfair.

He later spoke with his mother and the conversation did not go smoothly either. After yelling at her and blaming her for everything, she broke down, which led her to send him photos of his injured grandparents. Ultimately, Alex decided to skip the trip altogether, as the airplane tickets would not be needed anymore.

During a heated discussion, my wife found herself furious at Alex's attitude - yelling right at the start of their call and accusing her of being selfish. To complicate matters, we learned that although my father-in-law was showing some improvement in feeling in his legs, our son’s friends had advanced further, now closer to their next destination, Mexico.

In the midst of this chaos, I haven't yet broken the latest developments to my wife, waiting for a calmer moment. It's difficult indeed managing such family crises.

If this incident were part of a reality show, the drama and intense emotions would undoubtedly draw viewers in. A camera would capture every strain on Alex’s face as he dealt with the abrupt changing of plans, the tearful breakdowns of my wife, and the high-tension exchanges between family members. Viewers would be glued to their screens, speculating about the outcomes and possibly questioning each family member's reactions and coping mechanisms. The blend of family loyalty, young dreams, and critical health emergencies could provide a potent mix of relatable and voyeuristic entertainment.

It’s curious to ponder - who the audience would sympathize with more? Who would be seen as the antagonist in the whole affair? Such complex family dynamics made public could offer widely varying interpretations from an engaged audience.

Today, my daughter, who is 7 §yes, seven!), was wearing a sleeveless top to school, which is perfectly within the dress code guidelines, and she's dressed similarly on many occasions without any issues. However, a substitute teacher took offense, claiming the attire was inappropriate, and urged me to bring another shirt for her. Coincidentally, I was already heading out to a hockey game, where I play as the goalie for a local team, and you know, goalies are quite essential – we really can't afford to be late or miss a game last minute.

I found the substitute’s call quite infuriating as it insinuated my daughter’s outfit was indecent. I explained to her that the top was perfectly acceptable and highlighted my inability to assist given my commitment to the game. I definitely did not appreciate her stepping over the line.

The substitute teacher threatened that she would have to send my daughter home and insisted that either my husband or I should come to pick her up. I couldn't help but laugh, explaining the situation: my husband was working from home, and since I had the car for my hockey game, he couldn’t pick her up either. As a solution, the substitute made my daughter wear her blazer for the entire day. Now, she’s gone as far as to complain to the principal about the incident. My husband feels I should have complied by bringing another shirt and perhaps addressed or contested the issue with the school board or the principal later on.

Do you think I mishandled the situation?

Interesting to consider, what would happen if this incident unfolded not in everyday life but on a reality TV show? Surely, the dramatization of the scenario would amplify. Cameras would capture every detail of the tense conversations, and the audience could decide right then whose side they're on – the flustered hockey-playing parent or the steadfast substitute teacher. The resolution might even involve a dramatic public vote or a mediated session on what truly defines 'appropriate' school wear. Reality TV has a knack for turning simple disputes into captivating spectacles, after all!

I used to dream of having a home, a family… a life filled with love and warmth.

But now, just thinking about it makes me feel sick

love doesn’t feel beautiful anymore. It feels heavy, even disgusting.

Maybe because I’ve been through so many failed relationships.

Maybe because I once loved someone narcissistic who made me hate everything love stands for.

Maybe because I gave so much of myself to people… and got nothing back.

Now, I feel numb. Like I’ve lost the part of me that used to feel.

Sometimes my mind drifts toward physical desire, but even that feels wrong. I’m a Muslim, I’m Arab and that alone comes with its own struggle and shame 😁

So I hold myself back. Alone. Every single time.

And maybe that’s why I started resenting men — or even the idea of starting something new with anyone.

I feel lonely, yes. Deeply lonely.

But I’ve pulled away from everyone. I barely talk to people anymore. I just bury myself in work and try not to feel.

I just want to feel okay again.

I want to be normal. To be human again. Like I used to

I don't know how my future will look like, but it was hard in the past, it's hard in the present and I am afraid it will continue being harder in the future and I'm not sure just how much strength I have anymore.

I am 21 years old, I became 21 years old in December 2024. I live in a poor, opportunity-lacking country in Europe but I wasn't born here. I was born in a better country, with better economy and so many more opportunities. I was a dancer as a child, I loved animals and dancing and my dream was either to be a veterinarian or a dancer. My parents were immigrants in the country I was born in and after I did 5th grade there, was in a good dance group and had many friends - they decided they wanted to go back to their home country.

It was hell. They never bothered to teach me the language, I had to learn it WHILE going to school (keep in mind, it's 5th grade so of course every kid knows how to speak and write, I didn't). I was subjected to much bullying and humiliation from both teachers and students alike for not speaking as fluently, not writing as fluently and not knowing the customs like they did. My parents never helped me, not emotionally and financially the bare minimum. Somehow I managed to pass school without failing any years even without the help. I went to highschool, everything was the same. My mental health deteriorated year after year and I felt more overwhelmed, more exhausted, more alone and more depressed.

Whenever I acted on my depression, my parents scolded me, didn't do anything about it and blamed it all on me. I never had anyone to talk about my struggles with, no one to acknowledge how hard I tried to pick up my life and keep up with every other child even though it was ten times harder. I never asked for much of them, they barely gave me anything but the bare minimum. I didn't and still don't have many clothes, my room consists of an old bed gifted by my grandfather, a desk gifted by my neighbor, and a closet gifted from my other grandfather. I never asked them for my allowance. Never even cried about how little I have. Let's not even talk about healthcare, they were forced to take me to the dentist as a child, but after they moved to this worse country that doesn't impose it they stopped and one of my tooth fell, I still don't have an implant.

And God forbid I ask them for something other than the necessities. I never got any presents from them for my birthday, and when I became 18th years old, I asked them for a laptop (a cheap one, anything would do) so I could use it for college. They yelled at me and told me they don't have money to spend on whatever I want (they've bought each other several phones along the years,among other things). Finally, somehow, I got my bachelor degree. So I decided to apply for college, like any other kid after finishing highschool. I applied for two, and got in both of them without tax.

But it was far (the closest college to where I live has very few options, none of which I want to do) and my parents did not want to pay for any expense. They didn't want to pay for even a bathroom for me to have there, or internet. So I had no choice but to give it up and instead join a post-highschool education (assistant pharmacist, it's free so they're not paying for it). I hate it. It's not the life I dreamed of. It's not what the little me told the teacher they wanted to do when they grow up. My classmates are mostly old ladies who just want to do another job aside from the ones they have and I pass by teenagers everyday, seeing them happy and excited to go and see the world the same way I was and knowing their parents will most likely support them unlike mine did with me, and I'm stuck with them while everyone my age is out there doing something with their lives. I know I am missing my young years and wasting them away but I don't know what to do.I gained courage and asked my mom if I could apply for college again, just to see if I get in. She said she'd rather me finish the one I'm doing now, and then she said even if I get in that college again, she will never take me there, her reasoning being that it's too far and she doesn't want to send me food or anything. She then ended the phone and I'm in the bus towards home now trying not to cry, surrounded by annoying highschool teenagers.

I only have one life, and I can't even do something with it.

Alright (I always start with alright lol), So… since 4th grade I’ve had this small friend group with 4-6 people (I’m in 8th grade). In 4th grade, we played this game where one person would pretend to be a dog owner and we would be the dogs, barking in the field during recess. But our generation(being the messed up generation that it is) made it so our whole grade started calling us furries and the Wolfpack. I was scared that kids would actually come punch us in stuff and they didn’t, but to this day I am still mad at those people that bullied us because it was just a game for us little kids to entertain ourselves with.

In 5th grade, there was a group of girls that I hung out with a lot more than my closest friends, and my friends were mad at me about this. I wanted to expand my friendships, and wanted to be good friends with the “cool kids” In hopes that they would stop bullying my friends, and if not, then me (They didn’t). My friend in the so called “Wolfpack” even already had a boyfriend (We were only 11 so I don’t know why I cared lol) and I got so jealous that boys still liked her. Like at least 5 boys in our grade had a huge crush on her, yet still barked and yelled “Furry!” At her whenever she walked by. Honestly, I was not getting much individual recognition in being in “The Wolfpack”, so I was able to make my own friends aside from this friend group! My friends in “The Wolfpack” didn’t like that I was making more friends and we had a huge screaming fight which ended up with my friend saying that I liked her boyfriend (kinda stupid in my opinion I was just jelly she had ANY man). Actually I’ll just end here and do a second part later bye y’all feel free to share your opinion so far!

I found out that I have NPD and I'm happy for it

More ways to manipulate people on the road