Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hi? To be honest I am not doing well but people around me thinks I am haha. It’s just hard to express what I feel when all my life I feel like my feelings were always invalidated or I feel like I am being a burden. My family is really going through it all right now and it fucking hurts. I just gradually escaped my academic pressure and self validation but this is whats happening like another problem gosh. I thought after all the hell I been through with me and my self validation like I thought I would get better but no. Having a physically absent father and physically absent mother who is emotionally unstable is not for the weak. I still talk to my Mom but she doesn’t know that it pains me a lot knowing that they’re all in a different family now haha. Like what about me? But I understand, I always understand haha. I have been through hell since I was a kid, like my asthma condition was so worst that I almost died. It really pains me because I took care of myself growing up, always pleasing everyone to get the validation I needed, to feel loved. I just wanted to feel loved by my parents that’s all haha. I raised myself, I was a middle child but I was the one who raised us. Why you asking? Because I was always the one who knows about our family problems, always needing to be the mature one. Like can’t I be a kid and run free? Haha. I was pushed into something I didn’t want bruh, I just wanna be a kid too. All the favoritism is crazy. I am still living but a part of me already died. Seeing people commit suicide especially the influencer I love because she’s literally the reason why I loved my tanned skin, it literally triggered something in me. And it hurts, ’cause I am always so close of doing it just for the pain to end. It really hurts y’all but I don’t wanna be selfish but all I needed was my parents, I didn’t wanna be like this.

i never thought i’d be googling to know how to cry... like seriously, who does that? but here i am, 19, sitting on my bed with the curtains half open, some lo-fi stuff playing in the background, and this really weird urge to cry. not because i’m feeling anything that deep in the moment, but because everything’s been so... flat. like emotionally mute. i don’t even know if i’m sad or just tired or if those are the same thing now. it’s not about making a scene or anything dramatic, it’s more like i want to shake something loose inside me. like pressing a reset button on my soul or whatever.

some people say to think about something really painful. like, for example, remembering the day my childhood dog died. i tried. i really tried. i pictured his face, the sound of his paws on the floor, the last breath he took on that cold vet table. nothing. just this weird lump in my throat and a tiny sting in the back of my eyes that faded as quickly as it came. another tip i read was to just stare at one spot for ages without blinking. did that too. looked straight into my bathroom mirror like some haunted soul waiting for the reflection to blink first. still nothing. not even a tear. just red eyes and a kind of blurry headache. 😂 why does crying feel like some exclusive club i got kicked out of?

i talked to a friend about it—well, kind of. i said something vague like, “do you ever feel like you need to cry but can’t?” and she was like, “yeah, totally, it’s called being emotionally constipated.” which, tbh, kind of made me laugh. but the more i think about it, maybe that’s what it is. emotional constipation. like the feelings are all backed up inside, swirling around but never making it to the surface. sometimes i feel like there’s this invisible dam inside me holding everything back, and crying would be like cracking it open for even a second. i read a quote once that said, “crying is how your heart speaks when your mouth can’t explain the pain,” and honestly that hit. but my heart must’ve gone mute or something.

i’ve also noticed that the more i try to force it, the more impossible it gets. it’s like the tears know i’m waiting and they’re being petty on purpose. there’s no button to push. i’ve tried sad movies—The Green Mile, Grave of the Fireflies, even Up. nada. i get the message. i want to feel, i really do. but something’s broken. and maybe that’s what’s scaring me more than the actual not-crying part. maybe it means i’ve gotten too good at numbing myself? or maybe i’ve buried stuff so deep that i don’t even recognize the feeling when it’s right in front of me? have you ever felt like your emotions are behind some soundproof glass, and you’re screaming but no one hears it—not even yourself?

idk, maybe crying’s overrated. maybe i don’t need to cry, maybe i need to talk more, or scream into a pillow, or just go on a walk and listen to music that punches me in the gut. but still... there’s something weirdly healing about a good cry. people say it clears your head, helps you sleep, resets your nervous system. and i want that. i want to feel something real again. not just this grey, flat version of living. so yeah, maybe it’s dumb to ask “how to make yourself cry?” but honestly, if you’ve been there too, if you’ve ever sat in the dark wishing your own tears would just come out and mean something—then maybe you get it. maybe you’re as stuck as i am. and if that’s the case, what did you do? how did you make the dam break?

At 33, I've spent more years away from my father than I ever imagined when I first made the decision to cut ties as a 20-year-old. My departure from my father's life was something that built up over several years, starting when I left home at 17. My estrangement was largely due to how he behaved during my mother's terminal illness and after her passing. For example, his actions ranged from making inappropriate advances towards my mom's sister while my mom was still with us, to disrespectfully shouting at my mother as she battled her sickness, and even going as far as destroying cherished family photos shortly after her death. In another hurtful act, he sold my mother’s beloved easel, a piece that held emotional value for not just me but also for other relatives. When I was just 13, his disregard for my mom's belongings intensified as he started a new chapter with his second wife, displacing many of my mother's possessions in the process. These possessions were safeguarded by our extended family, and we sifted through them when I turned 20.

My father and I remained completely out of contact until he passed away nearly a year ago. During this silence, he unexpectedly transferred a substantial amount of money to my account and signed over a family vacation property to me, which he had owned with my mom before she died. This took up the majority of his estate. He left these assets to me without informing his current wife, who also had no ownership over the primary residence they shared— ironically, a house owned by one of his friends that they never actually bought.

Upon his passing, I received a letter where he expressed his intentions of leaving me these assets as a means to amend, in his own way, the mistakes he had made. Unsurprisingly, this left his widow and their children with almost nothing substantial apart from whatever was held in joint accounts with no property to claim. She attempted to challenge this legally but was unsuccessful, as everything had been legally settled before his death.

Despite not attending his funeral, I was unhinged by a call from his widow pressing that I should take responsibility for my half-siblings and maintain a familial relationship with them. She argued that my inheritance was unfair to them. I firmly responded that I had no desire for a connection and that they were not my family, as her husband ceased to be part of my life long before. She accused me of being heartless and immoral for not extending support to her and the kids. After telling her that I owed them nothing, I ended the conversation and proceeded to block her, though she tried to continue contacting me through social media to label me as selfish and cruel.

Imagine if this family drama unfolded on a reality TV show. Cameras catching every harsh word and strained interaction, broadcasting the deep-seated resentments and legal battles to a national, even global audience. Watching people navigate the complexities of family grievances under the public eye could lead to unexpected alliances and perhaps a few condemning the actions of others, potentially swaying public opinion in real-time.

If my story was in a reality show, how would viewers react?

I dunno what to think about it. One thing for sure, I didn't stalk you ever. Not even once.

ok so basically i have this friend lets call her Elsie and we have been friends for 7 years and in drama we were partners and she also does acting classes outside of school and she thinks that she knows better when she doesn’t and she is bringing the stuff she learnt from her acting classes into drama at school and its ruining our friendship and our friendship group. So basically one of Elsie and I’s school building burnt down so we are having online school and we just had a drama call and she went behind my back and said to our teacher she wanted to be with somebody new and we have been over it before a couple of days ago where she started berating me in public and not only was our friend with us but also two girls from our drama class who aren’t our friends and when i told her to stop she didn’t and just said and i quote “these are your consequences, so deal with them when it wasn’t even my fault because the original group we were with weren’t at school most of the time and only showed up to one lesson so miss told us to just do a scene us to from midsummers night dream, and she was all moody about it that whole lesson at me i might add for something that wasn’t my fault. And i explained my feelings about the interaction and i said it politely and nicely i said and i quote “Hey elsie I am sorta mad and upset about what happened today it was also embarrassing and humiliating can u pls not do it next time” and she responded with excuses and i will quote what she said as a reply “I get that today was embarrassing for you. I just wanted to say that certain situations in class really impact me and stress me out.” I then proceeded to call her and she didn’t pick up and was sorta avoiding me she then responded to my calls over text and the text said “And rn calls stress out a lot” i then replied with “ Sorry I didn't mean to bombard u it was embarrassing and I can't choose anyone else because nobody would want me so u are the only safe option for me” i then responded with “ I do love working with you but it requires a lot of my mental health and Because under too much stress I can faint actually due to my cptsd freeze mode“ then today after i explained my feelings she goes and tells miss she wants to change groups and be with a new person. And i get i can’t stop her but it hurt and i complain to my friend who’s next to me and she takes my side. but when i message my group chat and tell them my other friend Kate takes Elsie’s side and reply’s to my ranting/venting with this long as paragraph about how i am in the wrong and she says “ look, I’m considering both your perspectives and I understand but the remaining factor is that Elsie feels that it’s time to change partners, and have you considered that she may be moody because you were treating her like your only “safe” option (basically undermining her) and that if she wants to work with someone else, it is not your right to be upset at her for that because it is her decision you have to respect at the end of the day. Telling her to stay with you because no one else would pick you is the wrong way to go about this whole thing because I know it makes Elsie feel less important and Elsie told me that friendships shouldn’t be involved in school work and I agree with her because that’s what started this whole thing in the first place. If you’re upset at her for being moody while you guys were partners, then why are you still insisting on staying together? She has been considering your feelings and I get that this is hard for you but it’s your turn to consider hers. i just don’t understand if you’re so annoyed at her acting like that why would you want her as a partner anyway.” And i haven’t responded cause i am still pissed off and really hurt because i have considered her feelings and i have talked about my feelings and they haven’t considered how i am feeling and why i am so hurt. Like if i was in Elsie’s spot i would have done it for her and stayed with her because if i wanted to work with someone else i would understand why she would want to be with me and i wouldn’t let her work alone or with someone else who she doesn’t know and it feels like she doesn’t care about my feelings or perspective and kate clearly isn’t seeing both perspectives and I am genuinely confused about how i am undermining my friend and i am so done cause this isn’t the first time Elsie’s got mad at me for no reason.

I keep overthinking on the very tiniest stuffs. Even a small thing makes me thinking for like a whole day or two and genuinely my whole day gets messy and I can't focus on other stuffs except that. Today I was asked a question during my class and atfirst I simply answered, I didn't understand when sir said to ask extra stuffs. It was the stuffs I knew but I simply didn't understand at the moment so I just told him I didn't understand and so when he asked someone beside me I understood what he was asking about and as my classmate beside me didn't answer I reached out to sir and gave some answers in that moment I still misunderstood his question but I did understand later and told the answer and there was one question I was confused about so I just didn't say anything and as an introverted person I feel scared to talk infront of the whole class and the moment I was answering other people were looking at me and smirking. I could literally see them, even though I answered some stuffs I was scolded by sir like I know I'm dumb but I did answer some stuffs and so the fact that some people were looking at me and kinda laughing not laughing in exact way, is it cuz I'm dumb??? Like I'm not as smart as them but am I really that stupid and dumb?? This is what I overthought whole day and I'm still thinking about this today. And the fact that I called out sir to tell the answer after I understood what he was asking was it really wrong of me? Was I being desparate ???? I really wanna stop overthinking about this kinda stuffs but I can't. This is the first time this has happened, many times not only in class but even with the people I'm close it I start to overthink their actions and what they think about me. I really wanna stop being this............

All the time i always do my best to reach out and build connections with people. But most of it i just got ignored until one dah i reached the point where i’m so dont with building the connection with people and suddenly people think i am the bad one for not initiating things and reach out first? Like i’m jusy so tired and honestly gave up with interpersonal relationships

i think theres something thats sets me apart from everyone, and its how im calculating theres a trend of life getting worse (example ram crisis, food costs, goverments being asshole) and how i dont have a family as i have issues with them i that cant fix, and im imagining there all saying the same thing, i dont matter, if i die im easily replaced, theres 8bn of us here, all cows to be milked out of, i dont wanna be milked, i feel like just not taking life too seriously and im not supposed to do that, why take it seriously when u can just have ur fun and leave with those memories, maybe with friends play some game or go out at night idk, since u know u cant improve much or make a good life, why try hard when it doesnt pay off, i dont understand it, im either missing something or calculating something completely different to u guys

hey guys, you ever feel like you're just kinda on the sidelines and not really part of your own friend group? like you're there, but not really *there*? 😕 that's the vibe i've been getting lately, and idk if it's just me overthinking it or what; but man, it's starting to eat at me. so, here's the scoop... i’ve got this crew that i’ve been tight with since forever. we hang out all the time, you know, it's like one of those things where they’re practically your siblings, or so i thought. we used to hit up the mall, play video games till dawn, crash at someone's place, and just vibe. but these days, it's like when they make plans, they're almost always in some secret group chat that doesn't include me. and okay, maybe it's not a "secret chat," but it sure feels like it when you're not in on the inside jokes they crack later. like, it's all “dude, remember when...?” and i'm sitting there pretending to laugh ’cause it's awkward to be the only one out. don’t get me wrong, they’re not awful or mean or anything, they just get so caught up with each other that the world tilts their way, know what i'm saying? it's like that quote from 'friends', "we were on a break!", but i'm stuck on pause. low-key, it makes me reconsider if they’re really as close as i thought or if i’m just tagging along for nostalgia’s sake. like, do you guys think history justifies hanging out, or should it be more about how you connect now? 🤔

i bring it up sometimes, dropping hints like, "oh, man, i really loved those hangouts, we should do more of that"—you know, keeping it low-key and casual, but it never really leads anywhere. maybe they're just oblivious? anyway, i try to be upbeat and supportive. you know, offer the ride, share the playlist, the works. those meme wars we have online are fun, but it ain't the same as real deal interactions. it's confusing, right? one moment they're like, "bro, where have you BEEN?", and i'm thinking, "um, here, just not included." it's a weird space to be in, stuck between wanting to confront things and just shrugging it off, hoping it’s just a phase. you ever just want to shake things up, like propose something wild, but then second-guess if they’d think you're just being overly dramatic? my input is always met with a pleasant “cool, cool,” but i never see a callback on those; maybe i’m just not the glue, you know? or perhaps the dynamics have shifted, making me more of a benchwarmer than a starter in this friendship game. idk, maybe i should diversify my friendship portfolio, start meeting new people, perhaps at school where there’s no history hanging over my head. maybe i'm overanalyzing the situation, like one of those film critics who see plot holes in just relaxed, casual hangouts. but it'd be nice if they’d actually check in and notice. but hey, what about you guys? do you have that “aha moment” where you switch things up, or just roll with it? i understand we’re all busy now, prepping for college, juggling jobs and exams, and everyone’s in their lane grinding, but making time for your homies proves crucial to maintaining the bond, don’t you think? it’s like, you defeat the final boss together, that shared victory sticks, but when solo practices become all the rage, you’d think something as small as sending a "yo wassup" would be fair game. the odds are, someday soon, i’ll find my groove again, either with them or without, since this high school drama can’t make or break me, right? let’s face it, life won’t sugarcoat itself, and we might as well take the bitter with the sweet and just sip it slowly. you sit back, take the backseat for a minute, and rethink what this chapter’s teaching you ’cause fomo is part of the deal. thanks, guys, it’s just good to let this out sometimes, you know? 😊 cheers to y’all having the patience to hear me ramble. but what’s your take? have you felt low-key sidelined by your crew, and how do you usually handle it? ✌️

i am 41 years old and i am a woman and i am so damn tired of my own brain!!! ten years ago i cheated on my husband and yeah i know how that sounds and i know what people think and honestly i have thought it all myself a thousand times already!!! it was one stupid messy year of my life when i felt invisible and angry and bored and selfish and i made a choice that still sticks to me like gum on a shoe!!! my husband never found out and before you ask yes that fact alone makes me feel like a fake grown adult with a mortgage and a calm smile and a dirty secret!!! i go to work i cook dinner i pay bills i say thank you and sorry and good morning like a normal person while my head randomly screams remember that thing you did!!! it pops up when i am folding laundry or driving or brushing my teeth and i just want my brain to shut the hell up!!! i have read articles i have heard therapists say forgive yourself and move on and yeah sure sounds cute in theory!!! i even wrote it down once like some motivational crap from a podcast quote “you are not your worst mistake” and i laughed because wow that felt fake!!! i am rude to myself about it all the time and i replay the nights and the lies and the thrill and the shame and i hate that part of me and also hate that i cannot delete it!!! how do you stop thinking about something when your mind treats it like unpaid debt!!! do you ever feel like you already served the sentence but your brain keeps adding years!!!

i am trying though and i want to say that out loud because maybe someone needs to hear it!!! i am trying to stop beating myself with the same stick every damn day!!! i remind myself that ten years is a long time and i am not that woman anymore even if she still lives in my memory!!! i remind myself that guilt is not the same as accountability and that endless punishment is not noble it is just dumb!!! sometimes i literally say out loud shut up already and it helps a bit!!! sometimes i tell myself this is not useful thinking and i move on like a tired manager closing a bad meeting!!! i think about how many good years i have given my marriage since then and how many honest moments exist now!!! i read somewhere maybe in a random book or a stupid tweet that said “thoughts are just thoughts not commands” and yeah that stuck with me!!! i am hopeful in a quiet stubborn way!!! i think healing is boring and slow and annoying and not poetic at all!!! but maybe stopping the thinking is not about erasing it and more about not feeding it!!! so i ask you reading this do you have something old and rotten that your brain drags out for no reason!!! do you also want to move the hell on and live!!! if so maybe we both start today and decide that enough is enough!!! because honestly life is short and i am done letting one bad chapter act like the whole damn book!!!

i was scrolling through my phone, staring at the last text from my boyfriend – "hey, feeling really sick, won't make it to school today." it has only been two weeks since we made it official, and it's crazy how much i miss him already. i mean, is it normal to feel this way? i can't help but wonder if somehow, on some level, he can feel just how much i genuinely miss him. is there like some secret connection or vibe that gets sent out into the universe when you miss someone? 'cause if there is, i'm sending all the good vibes his way.

it's funny how one can become so attached so quickly; like, wow. some might say that's part of the teenage experience, and maybe it is. i've heard about other girls feeling this way for their boyfriends, and honestly, i kinda thought it was a bit cheesy. never thought i’d be the one writing this. 🤦‍♀️ i'm sure he's not super into cheese (the metaphorical kind), but i bet he'd appreciate knowing just how much i care. can't call him though, 'cause his mom says he's resting. just sitting here, my mind constantly battles between wondering if i should send him a "get well" card or just wait until he's feeling better. decisions, decisions, am i right?

idk if anybody else feels or felt this way, but sometimes when you miss someone, it's like they’re always on your mind. every little thing reminds me of him – even the school cafeteria food reminds me of the time we joked about how bad it is. and don’t get me started about the classes we share. sitting in those classes without him feels neither here nor there. it's almost as if not attending classes together changes everything, makes it less exciting. maybe it's because i'm a naturally nostalgic person, or maybe it’s because our bond is still so fresh. you think it's silly, don't you? or can you relate to this?

in conclusion, missing someone seems like a weird roller coaster of emotions, and who knows if he'll ever feel the vibes i'm sending his way. life can be a bit sketchy, but i guess that's just how it goes. i just hope he gets better soon, 'cause i’m over here trying to play it cool when really, all i want is for him to feel better and return to school to turn my frown upside down. do you think love and longing have some secret telepathic power? or maybe i'm just dreaming up a fairytale cause this is the first time i've felt this way. either way, if there’s some cosmic connection, i'm all ears, waiting to see if he'll ever feel those vibes. 😍

yo fr i hate working. like i kno some ppl say that but nah i really mean it. every job i ever had or tried to have just made me wanna quit life. school already drains me enough, sittin in a class all day hearing stuff i don’t even care about and then ppl expect me to go flip burgers or stock shelves after?? nah bro, miss me with that. i aint lazy lazy like i’ll do stuff if i have to, but if i can avoid doin too much, best believe i’m gonna. the thing is i still need money tho, like i wanna buy stuff, get snacks, maybe save up for a used car or whatever, but i don’t wanna work my butt off 8 hours a day for it. that’s why i been tryna find jobs for people like me—people who hate working. not even being dramatic here, just bein real.

i been looking at stuff online and some jobs don’t seem that bad if u just wanna chill. like night shift security guard? sounds kinda perfect. u just sit there most the time, watch cameras, maybe walk around once or twice, but mostly ur alone and no one bothers u. plus it’s dark and quiet which is way better than loud annoying customers. another one i saw is library assistant or something. u just sort books and tell people to be quiet basically, which is kinda my vibe not gonna lie. nobody expects u to go fast, it’s all slow paced and peaceful. also heard about dog walking or pet sitting, and that honestly sounds fun. dogs don’t talk back, they don’t judge u, and if u walk like 3-4 dogs a day u can get paid decently. only downside is cleaning up poop, but honestly i’ll take that over dealing with rude customers anyday. and some ppl even make money just posting vids online or streaming games. i aint famous or anything but if they can do it maybe i can too one day idk.

i just wish ppl would stop acting like u gotta love working or have some big dream job. like nah man some of us just wanna chill, not hate our lives every morning. i see adults working like crazy, gettin burned out and miserable and i’m like yeah… no thanks. if i can find a way to survive without going insane, that’s enough for me. maybe one day i’ll find something i don’t mind doing, maybe not, but for now i’m just tryna figure out how to get paid without killin my soul in the process. nd if that means takin the lazy route, then so be it. not everyone’s built to grind 24/7, some of us just tryna stay afloat with the least amount of effort possible. and that’s okay.

My brother, who is easily distracted and often forgetful, forgot to put a pack of frozen nuggets in the freezer. My dad got pissed because not only did he forgot to put the nuggets in the freezer, he also, apparently, was using the TV even though he's banned from using any devices. So, he beats him and my mom gets upset and starts scolding my brother. Long story short, my parents started arguing and shit went downhill from there. My mom becomes very emotional volatile because every time they have an argument, my father dismisses as being "irrational" and "crazy" and also chooses to ignore her arguments when he doesn't agree. He's also very avoidant when it comes to being confronted, always countering with the "sacrifices" he has to make for the family (but apparently can't sacrifice his ego for the peace of the family).

A couple minutes later, he's in my room, explaining what happened in his perspective, mind you he is very biased and close minded when comes to arguments, attempting to defend himself in the argument. Then, I tried to tell him that the argument wasn't about the nuggets or my brother, but more about between them. And he keeps deflecting and ignoring what I'm saying.

So, I'm frustrated as hell rn bc not only did he ignore what I had to say to him, but also because HE CANT RECOGNIZE THE FACT HE'S LITERALLY DODGING WHAT IM SAYING TO HIM LIKE WHAT HE DOES TO MY MOM. From what I observed from him, he has a low ass EQ and very much lacks communication skills. Which why I gave up on talking to him. It pisses me off so much, literally the pack of nuggets weren't the reason why my parents had an argument, HE LITERALLY STARTED BEING EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT and proceeds to call my mom "emotional irrational" because she doesn't want to listen to him, even tho she did and explained herself, when HES DOING. THE. SAME. THING!!! I literally cannot with that man anymore. It's like talking to a brick wall, but a brick wall wouldn't call me insults and willingly ignore what I have to say. I'm just so tired, they've been arguing a lot since I was baby. I really just wanna leave my home since I'll be graduating soon but I have younger siblings too and now I'm worried they're going have to endure a grown ass man trying to win an "argument" with his wife that he started just like what I went through. I cannot anymore at this. These stupid ass arguments have gotten to a point. Not to mention, they both cancelled a FLIGHT to BALI JUST TODAY bc of their argument. Oh my days. That money could have been acc used for the flight tickets but God forbid a pack of nuggets be outside of the freezer

I have two kids with my wife. When they were young, my parents generously set up education funds for both of them.

My wife and I always expected our kids to go to college and then grad school, just like we did. I have a PhD and my wife has a master’s degree. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for their undergrad degrees and didn’t tell them about the money.

My daughter has always been into liberal arts, while my son is more of a STEM guy. We worried about her job prospects, but she insisted on studying music and film in college. She got into some top schools and chose an expensive one, but she had scholarships covering almost all tuition. Everything else, plus living expenses, was her responsibility. She lived in a tiny apartment shared with friends in a rough area far from campus, but she managed and learned to budget effectively. After graduating, she found a job she enjoys, though it doesn’t pay much, and gave up on grad school.

My son decided on engineering and also didn’t want to go to grad school. We were disappointed but accepted it since he’s lined up for a great job after school. He didn’t get as many scholarships as his sister, so we used his education fund for his tuition and living expenses. He got a large, nice apartment close to school, which is important given his demanding classes.

My daughter was confused about how he could afford this and he told her about the education fund. She called us, upset, asking why she didn’t get one. We told her she did, but we saved it hoping she’d go to grad school. She seemed hurt and asked if she could have the money now. We explained there’d be a fee to withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we did that, it would go back to her grandparents for their use. Since then, she’s been short in her texts and hasn’t answered our calls. I know it seems unfair to her, but it’s not really her money and she’s not in college anymore. Her brother got it for educational purposes only. Am I wrong?

How would people react if this situation was on a reality show? Would viewers side with my daughter or understand my perspective and the importance of using the funds as intended?

I. I miss you and i really want you back but i know it will take time. We gave ourselves 3 chances and we broke them all, Today i talked to you, i typed as if i was angry, you showed sorrow and wonder of the reason why, But i shouldn't of been rude. The first time we met i was so angry at you without even knowing it. This time it was on purpose. and many other times too. I might seem sick of you, and not able to chat with you for a split second. But in all honesty i yearn for your love and for you to hold me tight in your arms. i yearn for you to call me "my sweet girl" one last time. And even though I'm writing this out of sadness i'm just happy that i even met you. The day we first starting talking ive loved you ever since. I cant get rid of you. You are now attached to my life. Even after all the arguments, the bullying, the vents, the suicide attempts, the love, i still care and i always will so therefor you will always and Forever be apart of me. I love you Iaroslav.I really do.