Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I’m a reallyyyy shallow person I feel like my feelings are fake and I know on some level that’s impossible but I always have no idea what is foing on with me and I’m scared to say anything about it aloud. Not because I think I have to deal with it alone but because it’s fickle and it’s gross I don’t like it I really don’t understand it.

I swear I can feel my forehead. and my head gets stuck in these hell spells where there is a thought that physically weighs on my brain it hurts and it won’t stop till it drills me into accepting or complying to its will even if I don’t agree with it. there is something swimming in my head it drives me crazy . As much as I joke about my forgetfulness forgetting so much is fucking awful bc, again, you know this, I know this, but it keeps happening anyway with any problem I have, I’ll lose my train of thought or I’ll forget details of how a situation played out in about a day. I’ll know on a surface level what happened but it’s like killll meee I can’t even be miserable without my dumbass intervening somehow

Dude I cant see anything that happens to me as bad afterwards it’s like ‘wow… that’s an event.’ but when people confirm so its like holy whiplash I wanna take back anything I said so fast because everything’s fine, it genuinely is sometimes but it’s not at the same time

Because if i stop thinking about it it’s gone and if i wear someone else’s skin, even just for a while, i won’t have that problem in the first place

I’m in this cycle where I hate living like this I hate me I hate everything, then it’s all perfect and I wonder why I had ever thought this way until it comes right back again. I cant do this anymore I swear it hurts too much this is killing me it is going to kill me one day

I wrote this slop sometime last night im fine again. it’s not explained well but I know it will only keep coming back (this is happening so often in the span of a week), any opinion appreciated im just lost. does anybody feel the same? does anybody know what is happening? does anybody know how to make it stop?

After I had finished making dinner, I left some dirty dishes in the sink to wash them after I was done eating dinner. While I was having dinner, one of my roomate's girlfriend entered the kitchen saw the dishes and washed them herself. When I saw the clean dishes, I felt kinda embarressed because I felt like she was lowkey forced to wash the dishes because I had left them there, making me look like a dirty lazy pig.

In order to show her my gratitude, I wanted to give my roomate (who had shared with me some snacks a few times) and her some grapes, becaue that was honestly the best I could give them. She was showering while I was preparing the grapes and putting them in the cutest cups I could find, and, when she came out the bathroom, I stopped her in the middle of the hallway. The problem is that she was not wearing her PJs like I thougt she would. Instead, she had a towel wrapped around her. So, the situation turned a bit awkward and, as a stupid being I am, I just stood there awkwardly and offered her the grapes. She told me (as politely as she could) that she didn't want them, but maybe her boyfriend did and then she started walking to their bedroom. I thought that she was going to ask her boyfriend if he wanted the grapes, so I followed her to the room, but she just closed the door once she reached there, making me look like a creep that had just followed her to the room while she was practically naked :)

Even though it was something really random and stupid, it made me feel very bad, but as the self-gaslighter I am, I told myslef to pretend that nothing happened. So, I just went back to the kitchen and kept the grapes, and then I went to the bathroom to wash my teeth. As I was washing my teeth, I heard their door opening, and after a few seconds of giving myself a pep talk I exited the bathroom because I thought that my roomate actually wanted the grapes like his girlfriend had told me, but there was no one there, leaving me quite confused. I also had to pee, so I entered the bathroom again. When I was done, another roomate told me that the other guy wanted to enter the bathroom, but since I was inside he turned around, but then I opened the door (cause I thought he wanted grapes), making him think I was done, so he directed himself to the bathroom again. However, I entered the bathroom again (cause I had to pee), pissing him off.

So, basically I had embarrassed twice in less than five minutes, when the only thing I wanted was to give those people grapes!!!! After thinking for a while, I think I'll be avoiding them for a while for my own sake lol.

Like genuinely bro wtf is wrong with me . Today was going great then I binged ☹️ like honestly this happens so much so way tmr I’ll do better and im not better. Like genuinely if I HAD JUST STARTED LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN JAN BROOO MY BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN TEA

It takes a village. You need to work on building your village. I feel I have but many times it’s confirmed my village is not very robust or even existent. It’s heartbreaking. People are nice enough for awhile but then don’t (or “can’t”) show up when you really need it. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong?

My good friend Lisa is tying the knot next month. We've been pals for a decade, and I'm looking forward to celebrating her special day. Yet, the lead-up to this joyous occasion has become quite the financial strain.

The wedding is set to take place abroad, requiring a pricey flight and a stay at a high-end, all-inclusive resort. To attend, I requested a week off work, rounding up my total expenses to approximately $2,000. It's a steep price, but Lisa means a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to miss her wedding.

The complication arose a few days back when the maid of honor, who I’m not particularly close with, messaged all the bridesmaids. She proposed we each shell out $500 for a lavish wedding gift, like an exclusive honeymoon package or a bespoke luxury item. This request caught me off guard since the cost of simply attending was already substantial.

I reached out to the maid of honor privately to express my inability to stretch my budget further, offering instead to purchase a meaningful gift within my means. Her reply was disheartening: "Everyone else is contributing. It'll look bad if you don't, especially since Lisa has always wanted this."

Despite the pressure, I remained firm on my decision, unable to justify further financial strain. This stance, however, has led to an uncomfortable rift among the bridesmaids, with some implying that my refusal is a sign of being stingy or unsupportive. It's left me second-guessing myself, though deep down, I know overextending myself financially isn’t wise.

Indeed, if my dilemma were part of a reality show, the drama and tension would certainly boost viewer ratings. Arguments and disagreements are often amplified on-screen, portraying a heightened version of reality. It's possible that cameras and an audience might have influenced the other bridesmaids to pressure me further, pushing for a highly emotional, scripted resolution. Yet, one can only speculate whether this added scrutiny would lead to solidarity among the group or if my stance would be portrayed as the rational voice in an episode filled with fiscal folly.

So, am I wrong for refusing to contribute an additional $500 for a wedding gift considering the significant costs I've already committed to just to be part of Lisa’s day?

Today, I was doing my homework.

Let's take in account that in a few hours, I have to choose which options to take for the 2 years that will come in high school, tomorrow I have a test in math, a test in English, 1 presentation in Dutch over my origins, 1 presentation in History over France and its castles.

My father came back from work (at 16:00), he started talking to me nonstop and asking questions about my life, when It's clearly obvious I'm occupied. When he asked me another pointless question, I didn't hear it (since my sister was blasting music) so I responded with a "What?".

I suspect that my tone could've come off as rude, but I was annoyed and I yelled loudly 'cause my sister was BLASTING music.

He started screaming at me, telling me "What did you say to me?" as if he hadn't heard it. He was angry, again, because apparently, I'm always disrespectful and should respond with a "What did you say, sir?" when I just want to be left alone.

They're my parents, but they shouldn't be parents when they're clearly not ready. They know how to take care of kids because they take care of kids everyday! But they don't take care of their own because we're "grown up" (I'm 15). But when the timing is prefect, we're suddenly too "young" and we're wrong and they're "right".

To hell with parents.

When your child tells you about their trauma, their problems and open up to you, you shouldn't denigrate them, invalidate their feelings or START TALKING ABOUT HOW TIRED YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR WORK WHEN THEIR TRAUMA IS YOU.

I've been struggling with my mental health for a long time and despite this I've always tried to keep the most positive outlook I could, but recently I've felt as if that wasn't possible. I've always been weird and avoidant of people due to paranoia, anxiety, OCD, autism symptoms and emotional inconsistency which has made it difficult to maintain relationships. Suffice to say, I've gotten along with people to the point that I could show them an empty side of myself that didn't care whether he was hurt or not, but I feel like now that's the only part of me who can function with others. I like that part of me, and I feel like I'm okay as long as I trust him to take care of things, but I don't know how I'm supposed to live my own life.

I've always had a lot of things that I'd been passionate about but those things like drawing, watching anime, learning languages, learning history and pretty much everything except for math doesn't really have a place in my life anymore since I've started college. I can still enjoy my hobbies but I feel like as a 19 year old male, watching trashy shoujo anime and liking moe stuff is kinda weird. Having obsessions feels like something to be ashamed of as well and every time I get into something I feel like I'm always going to be stereotyped for it. Apart from that, my fascinations with dark things like gore and pain are obviously things I'll have to keep hidden. I've basically abandoned the notion of someone who'd be able to save me or be there for me because I know I just get too attached and mess things up in relationships like that.

I always had the notion that everyone else was in the wrong for making me feel like I had to hide, but now I think I'm at the point where I'm accepting that I don't belong anywhere. I don't want to change and I don't want to die but I can't live in society the way it is being the way I am. I used to want to change the world, but now I feel like someone like me, with all my issues would just make it worse.

Living like this, I feel like I'm slowly disappearing and like I'm giving in. In some ways it feels like losing the parts of myself that make me who I am is just a matter of course, it doesn't matter to me anymore because it's something I should have accepted a long time ago, but if I could I wish I didn't have to change to live.

Im gna go fucking insane in this household , not a day goes by without my dad demanding shit or threaten to beat me and my siblings. Im just sitting in my room and he comes in, i got up to greet him and he got so fucking mad at me???

I swear im so sick of people telling me to enjoy my teenage years when i have a shitty dad and school stress is at its peak. I cant do anything without being criticised.

When my first semester grades cane out i got 5 Fs. Yes i know its a lot but i was in and out of the hospital and constantly absent. I was so scared to show my dad i just cried to my mom for a solid 30 minutes then went upstairs and tried to calm myself. I went to the bathroom and passed out for a literal HOUR and no one came in to check on me

But oh Of course my dad had to be the one to check on me after an hour. He was banging on the door and when i unlocked it i was still on the floor, he just kept yelling at me and telling me i was fine and probably faking it just so he could pity me.

this poem will be about my struggles with adhd

I hope you enjoy and pls lmk what you think

My mind is a house with every light on,

but the wiring is wrong.

Current jumps the walls.

The air buzzes even when I’m still.

Thoughts move like fireworks down the hallway—

no order,

no warning,

just flashes and echoes and aftermath.

I reach for one

and three more grab my sleeve,

each convinced it’s urgent,

each forgetting why it came.

Some days the noise grows too large for the rooms.

It presses outward,

paces the floorboards,

rattles the windows from the inside.

My body learns the exits first—

a flick of the hand,

a sharp blink,

a sudden shudder like static shaking free.

Small movements.

Necessary ones.

The storm grounding itself

so the house doesn’t split apart.

I don’t choose the spill.

It comes when the walls start breathing,

when thought piles on thought

until there’s no oxygen left.

My body reacts before I can ask it to—

a sharp jolt,

a break in the rhythm,

like something clawing its way out

because staying inside would be worse.

It isn’t release so much as survival.

Energy tearing a seam in the dark,

lightning striking downward

so it doesn’t turn inward.

I let it happen

because holding it all

feels like suffocating quietly.

Time behaves strangely here.

It leaks through my fingers,

slips under doors,

vanishes the moment I look directly at it.

Clocks stare like witnesses.

I apologise to them anyway.

Memory is a hallway with missing doors—

names hovering just out of reach,

sentences dissolving halfway spoken.

I step over the gaps,

pretend I meant to forget,

pretend it doesn’t follow me.

Some days my head is a carnival after dark—

lights too bright,

rides spinning too fast,

music overlapping until it sharpens.

I want to leave.

I want quiet.

But the ticket never tears

and the gates stay open.

Then comes the other kind of heavy.

Not loud—

dull.

A dimming after the surge.

Rooms go dark one by one.

Ideas slump in their chairs,

still breathing

but too tired to stand.

This is the exhaustion that doesn’t ask permission.

The kind rest doesn’t solve.

Bone-deep.

Sticky.

Like gravity turning personal.

My body stays still

while my mind keeps running,

burning energy it no longer has.

I stare at things I love

and feel only the weight of them.

Even stillness hums.

Even silence costs something.

And yet—

I find colours hiding in ordinary days.

Stories stitched between unrelated things.

Patterns where chaos pretends to be random.

My mind builds bridges instinctively,

even when I don’t know where they lead.

Ideas love me recklessly.

They arrive in crowds,

talk over one another,

leave without warning—

but for a moment

they make me feel infinite.

When focus finds me,

it grabs hard.

The world blurs.

Hours collapse into a single breath.

I forget to eat,

forget to move,

forget everything except the fire

and the way it finally listens.

I change my mind often

because every idea feels true

until the next one opens its mouth.

I am loyal to the moment,

not the map.

Some days I am exhaustion wrapped in motion.

Some days I am brilliance scattered across the floor.

Most days

I am both at once.

I am not broken.

I am not unfinished.

I am living inside a system turned up too loud—

one that shakes,

that spills,

that wears me thin,

but also sees more than it destroys.

This is what it’s like

to carry lightning in your pockets—

to learn when to release it,

when to rest,

and when to let it burn bright enough

to become light

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I’ve always been very insecure and jealous in my relationship, somehow he made me feel that way, even though he never did anything wrong. I have his Instagram logged into my phone and I was always checking what he was doing. Until I decided to check his TikTok video history. I found a series of videos of a beautiful woman. I said the girl’s name to him and asked who she was, he said he didn’t know her, and I kept insisting, saying I knew he’d watched her. He said he thought she was pretty. Now I feel insufficient, stupid, ugly, trashy, and everything bad there is. I don’t have the courage to break up, and I’ve already cried a lot and he comforted me, apologized, and all that. What do you think I should do? But he always knew I felt insecure because I always opened up to him, but I know there wasn’t much to do, because he never gave me a reason to feel insecure or suspicious. It’s very hard to break up because a big part of the time I’m with him, I’m happy.

My 30th birthday dinner was meant to be a special occasion. Planned as a joyous family gathering at a restaurant, it was essentially the highlight of my birthday celebrations since I hadn’t organized a party. However, events took an unexpected turn earlier today when my brother and his wife called me, bubbling with excitement to share their news of expecting a baby. Naturally, I was overjoyed for them and we went through all the customary celebratory conversations. But then, they dropped a question that caught me off guard. They wanted to know if I would be okay with them announcing their pregnancy to our parents during my birthday dinner, explaining that since his wife had been feeling nauseous and wasn’t drinking, it would make sense to share the news now. They assured me they could wait and announce it at another family-focused event if I preferred.

The mere fact that they asked this of me stung a bit. It’s not been easy celebrating personal milestones recently, with numerous past birthdays ending in disappointment and my university graduation being overshadowed by the pandemic. Turning 30 felt monumental, especially considering I don’t plan on the traditional milestones of marriage or children anytime soon. With these thoughts heavy on my mind, I asked for some time to think and promised to call them back.

Feeling somewhat cornered, I decided it would be best if they didn’t share their news at my birthday dinner. They seemed to understand, but when I expressed how their request had put me in an awkward position, the conversation quickly soured. They became defensive and my sister-in-law even raised her voice. The call ended on a terse note, leaving me more distressed than before.

This upheaval completely soured my mood and the thought of sitting through a dinner pretending to be cheerful was unbearable. I ended up calling my parents to postpone the dinner, unable to provide a full explanation, which led to their obvious frustration and the reservation’s cancellation fee.

In a bid to clear the air, I reached out directly to my brother. I tried to explain the depth of my feelings and questioned whether he would have made such a request if it were another significant celebration, like an engagement dinner. The conversation was a long one, with pauses and equivocations, but it ended with my brother apologizing, though the damage was done.

Our rescheduled dinner now won't happen until far after my actual birthday due to my brother’s job constraints, making the whole event feel somewhat pointless.

On top of it all, the backlash from the family for the dinner being delayed and the resultant unpleasantness has been directed at me, making me question if I am the one at fault here.

Imagine if this scenario had unfolded on a reality TV show. The dramatic phone calls, the tense family dynamics, and the emotions riding high could have made for quite the episode. Viewers likely would have been split—some siding with me over the importance of respecting my birthday wishes, while others might argue that family news could enhance the celebratory atmosphere. The debates would swirl not just within the confines of my family, but across social media platforms, as the public weighed in on the family drama unfolding on screen.

Would you have let your siblings announce their pregnancy at your birthday dinner?

I dunno what to do ahahahahaa.. the loml is stalking me. Hahahahah .. it's a bit a grey area it's a good and a bad situation pls help hahahahaha I'm going crazy.

I’m a 13 year old gay boy and my whole family is homophobic and I am scared and this has kept me up for many nights the thing that scares me is mostly what I’m gonna do when I’m an adult I do love my family but what about when they find out I’m gay and I’m an adult will my family never talk to me or will I just marry a woman for them to be happy it’s terrifying I don’t know who to talk to so this is my last resort somebody please help me

For as long as I can remember, I've been the go-to organizer for all of our group activities. Whether planning getaways, dinners, or gatherings, it was a role I thoroughly enjoyed — until it became less about fun and more about expectation. Recently, my role as the organizer has morphed in the eyes of my friends, who playfully nicknamed me the “mom” of our group. At first, it was amusing when they commented on my punctuality or joked about not having to sweat the small stuff because I'd have it covered. But when "Mom" became my moniker in our group chats, the term of endearment felt more like a taken-for-granted label.

Our latest trip was meticulously planned by me, as usual. I organized everything from the Airbnb to the itinerary. While I hoped for some involvement or at least gratitude from my friends, all I got were more jokes and no offers to help. Pushed to my limit, I decided to cancel the entire trip. This led to an explosion of disappointed and angry reactions from my friends, who accused me of being an overreactor and spoiling the fun needlessly. Now, they’re offended, and I’m left questioning my decision: Was canceling the trip an overreaction on my part?

Moreover, the expectations and lack of recognition have left me feeling undervalued, prompting my drastic decision. If I can't enjoy our trips without feeling like a caretaker, maybe it was time they took on some of the responsibilities themselves.

Imagining how this scenario would unfold on a reality TV show adds a dramatic layer to the situation. There would likely be dramatic music as I announced the cancellation, followed by the shocked faces of my friends, each reacting in their unique ways. Interviews would follow where each friend laid out their frustration and confusion, and I'd explain my perspective in a tearful confession. Social media polls might pop up, with viewers siding either with my decision or against it, and dissecting every element of our group dynamics. It’s intriguing to think about how public opinion might sway in such a context.

Did I make the right decision cancelling the trip?

Platonic friendships are possible and I am a believer of that. I've had and still have very successful ones. Those friendships aren't even considered a "friendship" I would consider them a sister. I have 3 friendships like this. Unfortunately I can't anymore. I've spent so much time this girl and it's always been brother and sister love between us both. Looking out for each other comforting each other during hard times and it's been very respectful and the clear boundaries have not been crossed. I hoped that it would've stayed as that bond of brother and sister but when one starts to think of the other in a different light they die inside. You're left with 3 options: 1. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she accepts and everything will be great. 2. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she doesn't like that so you can't be friends. 3. Die inside and don't tell her and preserve your entire relationship with the person. Under other circumstances I would've told her and risked our friendship. She has a boyfriend who l have meant, respect, and love him for her. So much so that when she told me about him I almost cried tears of joy. With that being said I feel that it's only appropriate to distance myself and let the friendship be just memories. I feel it's unfair to her on whatever I do but I only know it's fair to myself if I distance myself. Wonder what your thoughts are on this.