Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Idk why but I just feel like I never good enough. Like I look around and everybody else seem so much more confident, like they just know who they are, what they want, how to talk to people. And then there’s me, always second guessing everything, thinking did I say something dumb? do they even like me? am I just annoying? It’s so exausting to always feel like I gotta prove myself or act a certain way just to be accepted. Like even in class, I wanna ask a question but then my brain goes what if it’s stupid? what if they all think I’m dumb? and then I just sit there in silence, pretending like I understand when I don’t. And it’s not just in class, it’s everywhere. I walk into a room and feel like everybody’s looking at me, judging me, even if I know deep down they prob don’t even care.

I try to tell myself to stop, to just be normal and not overthink everything but it’s so hard. I look in the mirror and all I see are the things I don’t like. My hair is never right, my face looks weird, my clothes never feel like they actually fit me right. And I see all these girls who just look so effortless, like they woke up looking perfect and they don’t even try. Even when I do my makeup or wear something nice, I still feel like I’m just pretending, like it’s obvious to everyone that I don’t belong. And don’t even get me started on social media, cuz that just make it worse. I scroll and see all these people with perfect lives, perfect bodies, perfect friends, and it just makes me feel even more like I’m failing at being a normal human.

I wish I knew how to stop being insecure. Like how do people just wake up and like themselves?? I’ve read all the advice—be positive, practice self love, stop comparing yourself to others—but it don’t actually help. I tell myself "you’re fine, you’re not ugly, you’re smart, you’re worth something" but my brain just goes lol sure keep telling yourself that. I feel like no matter what I do, there’s always gonna be someone better, someone who’s funnier, prettier, more interesting, and people are always gonna like them more than me. And the worst part is I don’t even know why I care so much. It’s not like I even wanna be the center of attention, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m always less than everybody else.

So yeah, if anybody out there actually figured out how to stop being insecure, let me know. Cuz I’m tired of feeling like this, tired of hiding behind my phone at parties, tired of thinking every little thing I say or do is wrong. I just wanna be able to exist without feeling like I need to be better all the time. But idk, maybe some people just born with confidence and some of us just gotta fake it forever.

Last week, I impulsively decided to run a marathon with only a week's notice after learning I needed surgery on my rotator cuff. Since I couldn't engage in my favorite hobby, climbing, I've been supplementing with some casual running. Previously, I'd participated in a handful of races, including a marathon which I hadn't really trained for, so I figured why not try again? It seemed like a good way to stay active and feel accomplished as I geared up for my procedure.

A buddy of mine had also planned to run this marathon. Interestingly, she hadn't trained until it was almost time for the event. I thought it would be fun if we took on the challenge at a leisurely pace together. Throughout the week as I was hunting down a race bib, I kept updating her about my plans to join. She seemed okay with it until I finally secured a bib and shared my last-minute participation news on Facebook. That’s when things took a turn for the worse. She lashed out, claiming that the marathon was "her thing” and that by joining and posting about it, I was overshadowing her own efforts. She accused me of trying to steal her thunder, which was never my intention; I genuinely thought it would be nice to support each other.

On race day, we lost touch after just the first mile. I tried reaching out several times via text and calls but got no response. Hours later, she called back, way behind me, demanding I wait for her. Choosing to continue at my own pace, I politely declined, which she took as further evidence of me being a self-centered friend.

She didn't take it well that I was ahead, and, in an upset state, she quit at mile 16, taking a shortcut to finish with a better time than mine. I ended up finishing in 6 hours and 15 minutes, feeling proud of my achievement despite the circumstances.

Post-race, she remained adamant that I had intruded on her territory by running and has even withdrawn her offer to assist me post-surgery, claiming she felt betrayed. Her insistence that she "owns" running seems unreasonable to me, but perhaps I overlooked something in my approach.

If this whole situation unfolded in a reality show, I wonder how the audience would react. Would they sympathize with my desire to stay active and accomplish personal goals, or would they see me as the villain for stepping into what my friend considered her special domain? Reality shows thrive on conflict and resolution, so this drama could potentially be a pivotal storyline, drawing viewers to take sides and speculate on our motives and actions.

Am I wrong to have run the marathon, despite my friend’s claim on it as her own?

I have a friend I'll be calling W.

So I woke up this morning with a huge headache, which ended up being a migraine I'd been expiriancing all week. I could harfly move without immense pain in my skull, and it just got worse throughout the day.

At some point, I had to go to the nurses's office and get my mom to pick me up because of how bad it was getting. My mom took me to the doctor's and the doctor themself said that if the medication she gives us doesn't work then I will probably need to get an IV due to how bad it is. I texted this to my friend (who was still at school at the time) just so they would know why I had to leave.

I have to take days off school a lot because I often get really sick (Mainly during the spring because apparently thats a thing), which W gets kind of mad at me for. They usually play it off as 'your grades will plummit' but a few times they've been downright pissed (theres also quitea few things I don't pick up on because I have autism escpecially with text messages, so there could be something I'm completely missing).

When my friend got back and talked about the whole failing classes thing again, I said I understood but I physically was about to black out. I kind of made a joke about myself not having a strong immune system (because jokes are how I've been coping with stuff for a few years now, and it's nothing new to my friend group because two other people do it too) and thats when they went off. they said I was too busy laughing to care about other people, which kind of confused me because they're usually the one making fun of my weak immune system. I told W I wanted to stay at school but was going to black out, but then they started talking about how it's not their job to 'make me perfect' which honestly confused me even more. They also said how they shouldn't be pointing out my mistakes (as in ones with relationships I think) which just made me even more confused because up until then they'd always talk about how I had to fix those things, which I tried really hard to do. I don't at all understand why it's such a bad thing I had to leave because of the migraines if I was going to pass out, and I don't know what to say to them/if I should say anything, or if I should even go to school tomorrow (a part of me of me secretly kind of hopes that I do have to miss due to the migraines and having to be in the hospital or wherever just so I can prove the migraines aren't just some headache like they think they are).

I have no clue what to do now, I'm scared of loosing this friend, and my head is still killing me.

(18, job program student)

My horticulture teacher has been sharing emotional things that we don't need to hear about, and it's been pissing me off and making me uncomfortable. It's not directly at us, it's over our heads and to the assistant that she's comfortable with, but she says things like:

"Does a blow to your self-esteem,"

"Nothings keeping me here."

Among other things she'd openly vent about that would give me a weird gut feeling. Catering to an adult's emotions has been emotionally triggering for me (30s or 40s+ specifically). I don't say anything to give advice to her or make her feel better whatsoever, I'm more inclined to tell her to STFU. She wouldn't go out in full paragraphs, just a sentence or a few words.

I've thought about reporting it, but I value the good relationship I have w/ her. And it would make things awkward and I feel like it would heavily embarrass her - but she done something wrong, I don't really need to give a full shit.

I think I might say something directly to her to keep things to herself, like "Can you keep these things to yourself?" I'd see it at something far better and quicker.

I've already had an incident where an assistant (who doesn't cater to me anymore) said that whenever I left early, they don't get paid as much in a day. I had a full-blown, horrible moral OCD panic attack that same night. He got scolded by 3 people (an ex-worker and 2 staff) when the news broke out, possibly even more

I'm not responsible for their feelings. I'm not responsible for their paychecks. I'm not responsible for their consequences that are set against them. I've been doing my best to reassure myself of that.

The best outcome is that she never vents in class again and I don't need to say a thing.

it’s been six months since I moved to New York City, and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. being 29 and living in such a bustling city is supposed to be exciting, right? well, I thought so too. As I walk around the streets filled with lively faces and vibrant energy, I find myself feeling disconnected and isolated. the sheer size of the city amplifies my loneliness; it’s ironic how one can feel so alone in a crowd. sometimes, I wonder if others feel the same way; do they also walk around with an invisible barrier between themselves and the world around them?

to combat this loneliness, I decided to engage in some volunteer work. I thought that maybe helping others would not only distract me from my own feelings but also help me connect with new people. I signed up at a local food bank and participated regularly, serving meals and sorting donations. while it was fulfilling to see the smiles on people's faces, I still returned home feeling hollow. the relationships formed during those moments were fleeting and shallow; it’s not like I was building lasting connections. I had hoped for more than just a brief encounter; I wanted to form friendships and find a sense of belonging. instead, I left with the same heavy heart, counting the days since I moved to this city.

during my time volunteering, I made small talk with a few people, sharing brief exchanges and pleasantries. however, I would return to my empty apartment, and the silence would feel deafening. it seems that despite the efforts I had put into trying to engage with others, I still found myself without real friends or a support system. I have considered joining clubs or classes, but the thought of walking into a room full of strangers is daunting, and I often find myself hesitating. does everyone feel this uncertainty when meeting new people? am I the only one struggling to find my place in a city that never sleeps? 🤔

even though the loneliness has been overwhelming, I refuse to let it consume me. I remind myself that I chose to live in New York City for a reason, and I believe that the opportunities for connection are boundless. I have been exploring new hobbies, such as painting and attending community events, and while I have yet to forge lasting friendships, I remain hopeful. each day brings new possibilities; it’s a matter of putting myself out there. perhaps it is just a matter of time; I trust that with patience, I will find my tribe. the journey towards connection can be incredibly challenging, but I strive to remain positive and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the experiences I have had so far.

in conclusion, my loneliness has led me to reflect on myself and what I truly desire from my life in this magnificent city. I acknowledge the pain of feeling disconnected, yet I see it as a stepping stone towards personal growth. while the struggles may feel heavy now, I am motivated to keep moving forward and seek connections that will enrich my life. ultimately, I know I am not alone in my journey. so, if you find yourself feeling lonely too, how do you cope with it? what steps do you take to connect with others? let's find solace in sharing these experiences, for perhaps together we can navigate this vast city and create meaningful connections in the process; you never know what could be just around the corner.

Uh yeah. So my best friend, we'll call her Katy. She like's physical touch, but she seems to only like it when it's from me. She's always asking for hugs, but if anyone besides me so much as headpats her, she's like "MRRRRR" and yesterday, she sent me an email (we email back and forth yk) and the email had four questions from her, and one of them was "would u ever date me~" and so I just answered with "uh maybe possibly hypothetically theoretically alphabetically historically rhetorically numerically" (cuz why not? it's funny) and she hasn't said anything else about it so... but she also often just takes my hand and holds it in hers, and sometimes kisses it, but I mean that could just be her liking the touch... idk. I'm kinda confused. My other friend, we'll call her Rose, says Katy totally likes me, but I'm not really sure.

My MIL is an unhappy person who always complains about everybody and everything. It is loke she is trained to dislike and see the worst in everybody. She gives nonstop advice. She gives shallow compliments. But she has health problems too and she just wants to be needed. I love her and am exhausted by her at the same time. I want to tell her that she is alienating everyone with her unhappiness. I wish I could help her see the good in people. It is a losing battle. I am so tired of her denigrating her son and her husband to me- they are good, honest, hard working, and loyal men. They are not the most affectionate or chivalrous but they are reliable and caring. And...after 15 years for me and 55 years for her...it is unlikely that we will be leaving these men anytime soon. Why can't she be happy with what she has? Why does she feel the need to bring me down with her constant complaining?

Living in England with my South Asian wife and our twin boys, we've encountered a unique cultural blend within our family. I am white British and relatively uncreative when it comes to names; my own is quite generic. Nevertheless, we agreed early on that our children would carry my surname, "Smith," while my wife would choose their first names. She selected beautiful names from her culture: Ramin Navroz Smith and Rustom Parvez Smith. The meanings behind these names - 'joyous new year' and 'victorious hero' respectively - resonated with us, as did their distinct yet harmonious sound.

Both boys are under two years old and while they share similar features, their appearances diverge due to their mixed heritage. Ramin has inherited his mother’s darker features while Rustom shows lighter traits like mine. Despite being based in cosmopolitan London, where diversity is celebrated, somme comments from family members have sparked concern.

The issues began with my sister-in-law making offhand remarks that Ramin aptly fit his name but Rustom did not. Subsequently, she and my brother began affectionately calling Rustom "Russell," a nickname which quickly caught on among other relatives. Despite our repeated disapprovals, the nickname persisted to the point where Rustom began responding to it. We firmly requested that this stop, leading to emotional upset from my sister-in-law and accusations of over-sensitivity from other family members.

We stood our ground, restricting visits from family members who continued using the nickname, arguing that it inadvertently emphasizes racial differences that our young boys are too innocent to understand. The insistence on using a “whiter” nickname for Rustom seems particularly thoughtless given that it could seed a sense of disparity between him and his brother.

Friends and extended family claim we are overreacting and that the comparisons and nicknames are harmless. However, we worry about the long-term effects of these early distinctions based on physical appearance.

Wonder how all of this would play out if we were part of a reality show? Surely the viewers would have a field day debating our choices and maybe the public scrutiny would sway my relatives into reconsidering their stance. Or perhaps, it would just amplify the drama and misunderstanding.

Is it really overthinking to want my boys to grow up without imposed biases that could shape how they see themselves and each other? Are we being unreasonable in trying to protect our children from these seemingly small, yet potentially harmful, acts of distinction?

So, like, here I am at 29 years old, and I keep finding myself tangled in this weird little internal debate: is it okay to provide yourself some self pleasure? I mean, let’s be real here. Growing up, I was always fed a bunch of moralistic nonsense about how it's a sin or whatever, which kinda makes you feel like you’re engaging in something super dirty when you think about it. On the flip side, everyone talks about self care and how important it is to know your body. It’s confusing! Like, are we supposed to feel guilty about this, or is it totally normal? Sometimes I just want to scream “HELLO, it’s 2025! Can we talk about this?!”

I’ll admit, I’ve dabbled in self pleasure a few times, and initially, it felt like I was doing something wrong. Guilt struck harder than the time I "accidentally" ate my roommate's leftover pizza. You know how everyone says, "You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else"? Well, I always thought that was just some cute line to put on mugs and tote bags. But honestly, there's a part of me that's starting to think they might be onto something. Like, if I never explore my own body, how am I supposed to know what I like when I'm with someone else? It's just logical, right? But then, it creeps in again—the feeling that, in some way, I’m “less than” because I’m alone while I do it.

I also have friends who share their own journeys with it, and their experiences are always eye-opening. One of my friends, let’s call her Sarah, swears by it. She told me how much it has boosted her confidence in her body and her sexuality. It’s hard not to feel a bit jealous because she seems so liberated and carefree; I often wonder what it would feel like to just let go of those thoughts that constantly run through my mind. On one hand, it’s like she’s so in touch with herself that it’s inspiring, but on the other, it makes me feel kinda pressured to be as comfortable as she is. So, am I supposed to just jump in and “get my groove on”? Do people even use that expression anymore? 😂 Sometimes I feel old-fashioned when thinking about something that's so modern!

Still, I find myself hesitating every time I think about giving it another go. What if I’m just doing it “wrong”? I mean, how do you even know if you’ve done it right? There’s so much information online about techniques, toys, and all that jazz. Part of me is super curious, while the other part is just doubting if this is something I should be delving into. Do I really need that, or can I just figure stuff out with a partner later on? I read this article that argued, “Self-pleasure is like exploring a new city by yourself before taking someone else along for the ride,” which sounded really poetic, but come on; does anyone actually take that to heart?

In the end, I'm left wondering if I should explore self pleasure to gain that confidence and comfort with my own body or just leave it as a taboo subject. I’m sitting at this crossroads of curiosity and doubt, and I can’t help but ask: Is it truly just a natural part of being human, or is it more complicated than it should be? Should I embrace it like my friend Sarah, or shy away and stick to what I know? The thoughts are cluttering my mind, and I really think I need to talk to someone about it—anyone out there relate? I guess what I'm trying to say is; how do you work through this weird mix of feelings regarding self pleasure?

I've been in a constant state of fight or flight, honestly I've been in crisis, since the election. I'm disabled, trans and intersex, other flavors of 'undesirable' in the eyes of the government. I was close to taking my life and writing hotlines pretty much everyday sobbing my eyes out. My psychiatrist said if I refused to be hospitalized (I did) then we were down to Spravato and Electroconvulsive Therapy... Yes, she basically said the only solution was nasal spray ketamine or electroshock. I wish I was joking. I'm allergic to so much that these three things were my only option left. Are my only option, but I'm just done. No. I refuse it all.

There's a decent chance ALL healthcare might be taken away from me soon anyhow.

I decided to give Spravato a try, I was really, really hoping it would work. It didn't. My blood pressure shot up so high I almost had to go to the ER, I couldn't stop panicking and crying, I almost threw up multiple times. I am familiar with dissociation, it's a horrendous feeling I get sadly often, but I can tell the... Cycle of it? I suppose? As in, even when dissociating or having derealization, I can tell when it's at it's worst and when it's staring to wane. With Spravato, not so, it was two hours of being at the worst part of all my dissociative episodes and panic attacks at once with no reprieve. Closing my eyes made it worse, I couldn't even try to sleep to get through it, I had so many nurses coming in and out. A random man who was there also getting Spravato himself came in and tried to talk me and my mother through it and reassure us that sometimes that that even still happened to him. I can remember the talking, but it's more like I'm looking back on a movie I watched, not something I witnessed. All that felt like it was me in that moment was the fear. Nausea. My heart wanting to break through my ribcage, the pain of each heartbeat, rattling in my brain of memories and thoughts both that I couldn't differentiate among other things. It was just too much.

Finally, finally after two hours it started to let up, they took my blood pressure and since it wasn't at a concerning level (it was not normal still but not medically concerning? I think?) I was allowed to come home. I almost threw up multiple times on the ride home.

I was essentially sedated for three or four days after, too tired to tell what I was feeling but knowing I wasn't happy or okay, just too tired to cry or panic anymore. My heart kept beating funny off and on, though, I kept getting chest pain off and on. It's still happening off and on and it's been a few weeks. I'm scared it permanently damaged my heart, I already have so much going on, I can't do it.

All therapeutic effects it had are gone, all the fear and grief and dread and pain are back in full force, my family is trying to convince me to try it again and I refuse. My mother told me, essentially, she liked me better sedated. My pain, my fear for my life under this regime in America with so much being taken away from me (after being attacked just getting groceries two weeks after the election by the way), is an inconvenience so I need to just "be normal."

I can't help but wonder if there's hidden meaning behind "be normal." I could get into the why, I could get into my whole life story leading up to this of medical malpractice, but I won't. It's too much. There's so much I need and want to say but what's even the point?

I suppose I'll end this with something that happened a few days ago that's still hurting me, that was my reason to coming to this site again. I still don't really know how it works, if you can see my other post, but it's pertinent to this if you can. I tried one more time, one more time to reach out to someone to help me, give me help feasible for me with all of my limitations. Admittedly, getting a bit angry, because all the "advice" given even when I explained my situation was things I couldn't do. I tried explaining again, and it was turned back on me. I'm apparently a fascist for saying poor, disabled, non-white and intersex people are being left out of people's consideration when giving queer (especially trans) Americans help or instructions to help themselves. I was apparently posting "fascist bait" and somehow I'm also a Nazi? I don't even know. All I said was that I needed help, I just needed some steps given to me to take to try and get myself safe, to a better place. Then, got frustrated, and said their advice wasn't even advice for me or many others in my situation. It felt like dismissal and a "welp not my problem- figure it out!" and I said so. I said that people need to stop leaving the most vulnerable of the lgbtqia2p community in the dust and this girl got four other people to gang up on me.

I give up. I deleted all social media, I feel hopeless but won't write Trevor or 988, no one wants to help me. No one who can will, because I'm "not valuable" enough. Not to another country, not even to a blue state, nothing at all. I need too much help, have too many targets on my back, and have the nerve to point out that people are pulling the ladder up behind them once they get theirs and seeing certain parts of the community in the dust. Even some trans people are, mainly those of us that are poor and or disabled, intersex and or non-white. Of which I am all of.

And now I sit here alone, sad, thinking about everything and wishing I could close my eyes and wake up anybody else tomorrow. Wake up and find out this was all just a bad dream.

No, I'm not going to do anything to myself, I'm just so tired. If you can see people's past posts on here, again, what I said before sort of gives more context but even with both these two posts it's not everything going on with me.

Goodnight, I guess.

(Names are fake for privacy even though I don't think either one of them is on here) So for context I grew up with this friend named Blake and he got with his now ex named Miranda at the time about a year and a half after we became friends. They were young and had a kid young but it didn't last because of how both of them were with each other, typical story of him not doing enough for both the relationship and as a father (He is a great father now) and her treating him bad because of it to where she got fed up with him and tired of being that person with him and left him. They both moved on almost 15 years ago and can't stand each other but get along for their kid, We all grew up together as a result so I know Miranda pretty well.

It started as a crush after they broke up, I was having a hard time and she was there for me when I needed it but she didn't know I was struggling that badly because I didn't talk about it so it was just genuine concern and help for me and I don't have a lot of that in my life, so it moved me. I'm not the kind of guy who acts on his emotions or goes after friends girls so I avoided her because of it afterwards. She found a few people over the years and I found someone also. I was with my ex-wife for over 10 years and after we broke up I ran across Miranda on a dating website. We both matched with each other but I just assumed it was to be funny since friends do that on dating websites to mess with each other and give each other shit and I never seriously thought she was interested. After we matched though I noticed I got excited and didn't know what to expect which confused me because I didn't know why I was excited and why I would expect anything when we're supposed to be friends and it had been years since that crush had happened and nothing came from it anyway but I realized I still had a crush.

We talked and I didn't make a move or a pass and just warned her what to expect being on these sites from what I've read from other woman on there. Dick pics, asshole guys, matching but not talking etc. it was a casual conversation but I couldn't help but wonder if she felt similar and that's why she matched too but just chalked it up to my brain just wanting that to be true so it would validate my feelings and said nothing. She didn't stay on there much longer and told me later the next day on the app that she was going to get off of the app because it was lame and what I was saying was true.

I kept my feelings to myself but it seems like they keep growing, I keep thinking about her even when I try not too or keep busy to not think anything at all but nothing seems to work and she is on my mind even though we haven't talked for in a long time. Miranda is currently with someone right now and has been for awhile but from what I've heard she's been drinking and depressed and isn't happy with him. Idk if they will last much longer but I'm stuck because I can't really tell her how I feel even if they break up or not.

I don't really think she feels the same and might find it weird especially if she only sees me as a friend, it could ruin things with her and also she's Blake's ex and I have no idea how he would feel about it and don't want to ruin a friendship of almost 20 years over this. I know him and while he would probably be cool to me or cool to me to my face, I know he wouldn't consider me like a brother anymore or close friend anymore either. If for some reason or way I did tell her and the feeling is reciprocated and I do end up ruining a friendship, what if her and I don't end up lasting.?? Then I ruined my friendship for nothing and end up alone with almost no one in both ways.

So this is my blessing and my curse, Im blessed because I see who she is and she's amazing and I'm glad I got to experience it but my curse is I don't think I can ever actually speak on how I feel to her without potentially fucking everything up either with her or Blake or both. I haven't told anyone except 1 person awhile ago but we don't talk anymore, so almost no one knows my real feelings for her. Instead I sit in silence while she gets with yet another guy who treats her like shit that she swears she loves. If I tell her to leave him then I look like I have alternate motives considering my feelings, especially if I did tell her eventually and it's not my relationship to meddle with to begin with when they could end up working it all out.

It's been driving me nuts and I had to say something to someone and get it off my chest, so I figured a place like this would be the best place to at least say something finally, even if it's not who I want to tell.

This will be very long, but that's just how much I need to let out. So, let me begin.

I used to have a friend group, it felt like the world was mine when I'm with them. Plus, I was sort of the leader. But later, we all had separated because of most of us transferring to different schools. I wanted to keep touch, of course, but over time, we drifted apart. We still text, but what's bothering me is one of my friends from our group who I should say is one of the closest to me.

At first,we were both venting to each other about our new environment, but lately, I noticed he getting way less present. In our group chat, when I text her personally, she became more distant. I found out that she probably has new friends. So of course,she'd already forget us since she has a replacement now.

I wish I'm like her. Someone who can easily forget others. Because the more I remember, the more it hurt. Moreover, at my new school, I turned into a quiet kid. New kid, so everyone already has friends and has no room for me. Ignored, invisible even when I try to participate, they wont acknowledge me. Be it my peers or the teachers.

This made me feel lowly. Another thing if like to vent about (told you, there's a lot) is about my appearance. I'm short, wear glasses, not exactly that fair... I wish I can be pretty. I always wonder how other girls can look pretty, even if they look like me. I think it might be because of their fashion. One more thing I can only wish for. I want to wear outfits like them. They all look pretty, elegant and trendy. Like people others would walk by and say "wow, she's beautiful". But whenever I express my desire to wear pretty outfits, my family would tell me that it 'doesn't suit me' or like 'when are you gonna wear it?' .

My sister is trendy. She can go out on her own, buy clothes without worrying what others would think. She's tall, pretty, smart, admired. I'm only a year younger but I can never look as mature as her. She has her own bank card, her own purse... When I ask for these, my parents would procrastinate buying me one, I'll end up never getting it.

I just want to be like them. I want to have friends, go out with them, look pretty, go to fancy events (my school never does them, while my sister's always has these events), I just wanna feel wanted. But I'll always be the average, unwanted, background character. I wanna feel important in someone's life just like how important my friends are to me. I wish I can be someone who doesn't break down crying from just a few nice words from a stranger on the internet. I just want to be someone else who's not this pathetic me.

Sorry for this being so long, I actually have more to say, but I'll end it here. Just the thought of someone reading this whole thing is amazing. Just so you know, I appreciate you. I want to be someone who can provide comfort too. This makes me feel better, and I like that feeling. Thank you, thank you so much.

When my daughter, Emily, celebrated her 20th birthday, she had already been battling significant health challenges for nearly eight years. From major depressive disorder to social anxiety, and even grappling with anorexia and body dysmorphic disorder amidst two autoimmune conditions, her path had not been smooth. As her parent, I have been deeply involved in her care, and when her therapist suggested that an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) might benefit her, I agreed. Though I'm not a fan of animals personally, I saw the potential benefits for Emily's mental and emotional health.

For her 16th birthday, we welcomed a dog into our home named Juniper. It might sound dramatic, but Juniper transformed Emily’s life. She became more independent, her self-esteem flourished, and she visibly brightened. Now, four years later, she's not only juggling her college studies with impressive grades, but she also works as a part-time tutor and volunteers with the elderly—achievements that fill me with immense pride.

However, an unfortunate incident occurred recently that has thrown our peaceful life into chaos. Juniper escaped from our home and was tragically hit by a car in front of our house. After rushing her to the vet, we faced the grim reality that her recovery would require surgery costing around $2,000. Despite my comfortable salary, spending such a sum on what I considered a fading investment seemed unjustifiable, especially considering Juniper's age and potential for lifelong disability post-surgery.

In what I thought was a considered and humane decision, I opted for euthanasia. But when I informed Emily of this decision, she was devastated. She pleaded, offering her savings and promising to work more to cover the costs, but I refused. The potential impact on her mental health—and the possibility that she would have to sacrifice her volunteering, which had significantly aided her recovery—weighed heavily on me. My decision was final, even if Emily couldn't see the reasoning behind it. We went through with the euthanasia, making sure Juniper was surrounded by love till the end.

Upon our return, we found an inconsolable Emily. I tried to impart some hard-earned wisdom about the harsh realities of life, but communication broke down, and now she isn’t speaking to me. I can’t help but wonder if I should have involved her more in the decision or at least allowed her to say goodbye. While I remain conflicted, I also feel that Juniper had fulfilled her role in improving Emily’s quality of life, considering the relatively short time they spent together.

Imagine if this situation were unfolding on a reality TV show. The cameras would capture every tear and tense conversation, providing a raw, unfiltered look at our family's crisis. Viewers might be split, with some sympathizing with my protectiveness over Emily’s mental health and others vilifying me for my seemingly cold decision-making. The drama would certainly draw attention, but the real challenge would be maintaining our dignity and privacy in the inevitable backlash.

so, I'm 21 and I've been dating this guy for a few months, but honestly, I just can't shake this feeling that something's off with him. like, every time I try to reach out or make plans, he's always busy or he's "gone out" without really saying where he's gonna be or who he's hanging with. I mean, sure, I'm all for having our own lives and all, but it's kinda weird when someone never really shares any details or at least checks in once in a while, right? it gets even sketchier when I remember that my boyfriend – let's call him "jay" – has a bit of a reputation. it's no secret that jay's cheated on his past girlfriends, and man, that little fact is just gnawing away at me. it’s like I can’t ever fully relax or trust him, 'cause there's this little voice in the back of my mind saying, "hey girl, remember about his past, don’t get too comfy!"

now, I don't wanna be that paranoid girlfriend who's always snooping around, but sometimes his behavior just makes my mind spiral into the worst-case scenario. do any of you relate to that, where you overthink every little thing because there's no real explanation coming your way? like, last Saturday, he said he had some "family stuff" to attend to; fair enough, that checks out, right? but when I casually asked him about it on Sunday, he got all evasive, and let me tell you, that raised my suspicion antennas up to max level. I did a quickyyy and innocent snoop through his Facebook once, and he was tagged in a photo from a party that same night. so, I thought, "hmmm, those family gatherings really have changed lately, huh?" it's these little things that just don’t add up and pile onto my doubts, making me constantly question what’s really going on. am I just being a bit of a detective 'cause of his history, or is there actual merit in my worries?

look, I've tried to have honest conversations with him, you know, those serious chats girlfriends have when they wanna clear the air and set things straight. he just always seems to brush me off with a quick laugh or a "babe, you're overthinking it" line, which honestly, sometimes makes me wonder if I really am overreacting or if I'm onto something. 🤔 it's super frustrating, 'cause the more he's elusive, the more I doubt everything. anyone else been here or have any advice? I don’t wanna feel like this anymore, but I also don’t wanna be in for a nasty surprise later on. I know trust is key in any relationship, but how do you build that if the other person is as vague as a foggy morning? like, is it too much to ask for him to just be a bit more open? I tell myself maybe it’s just how he is, but deep down, I feel it’s causing a rift and it’s gonna lead to a bigger mess if we don’t address it. spare a thought, folks, it ain't easy having these doubts all the time;

As a nice treat fro myself I've managed to save enough up to reapir and repaint my wheels as they had been beaten by previous owner, 2 days after got all wheel finally done and doing it all my self and money spent on the sanding and painting of the rims and new tyres. I drove down a tight street and trying to avoid another person ended up slowly scraping the curb, so now one of my brand new wheels which I managed to just save up for it ones again scuffed