Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Every morning, I wake up with the same thoughts swirling around in my mind. I drag myself out of bed, caught in the battle between wanting to feel good about myself and being overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy. I walk to the bathroom, avoid looking in the mirror, afraid that this reflection will echo the familiar voice doubting me—“You don’t fit into those jeans anymore, do you?” “How did you end up here?” I know I’m not technically “overweight” according to the BMI charts or what society deems as the standard, but God, do I feel heavy. It seems every little thing weighs me down. I don’t understand; I eat relatively well, have an exercise routine, and yet my mind still holds onto the narrative that I’m not enough, that I’m not the fit and vibrant version of myself that I used to be.

The kicker? Social media. I scroll through impossibly perfect images of other women who seem to have it all figured out—gorgeous outfits, flawless skin, flawless abs. Meanwhile, I’m over here in sweatpants, scrolling through my feed at 11 p.m., munching on a bag of chips. I know rationally that these posts don't reflect reality, but I can't help but measure myself against them. Every “like” I didn’t get feels like a reminder that I’m somehow less desirable or less worthy. Sometimes, I find myself wondering, do other women feel this way? Am I alone in thinking I should look like that, feeling this constant sense of dissatisfaction with my appearance? It’s exhausting. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but the feeling keeps creeping back in—an unwelcome visitor that never really leaves. In those quiet moments before sleep tugs me under, I find myself asking, why do I feel fat? Am I simply a victim of society's skewed standards, or is this really about something deeper within me?

A couple of years ago, a girl from the US came to my town in Europe over the summer to maintain her double citizenship to my country. I met her through our sport as she trained at my club during that summer to stay fit. She's a couple of years older than me, but we became quite good friends, and even after she went home to the US we stayed in touch and dreamed of visiting each other again - mostly of me visiting her in the US.

Anyways, she has now been doing her sport at a college in the US, and has sent me a kind of open invitation to come visit her and follow her busy student-athlete lifestyle for a week. I have a school holiday coming up in about a month and I've promised her to come visit for a week then. I can stay with her in her dorm and eat in her dining hall, so I would "only" have to pay for the plane tickets, but even that is a big expense for me.

Tickets to and from the US would cost me something like 1/6th of my savings (but they aren't that big, so maybe that sounds worse than it is), and even though I have access to a dining hall etc. I'll still have to buy some food and such when I'm there. My dad might pay for half of the ticket, but it would still be a very expensive trip, and even though I've already promised my US friend that I'll come, I can't quite get over how expensive it'll be for me.

I'm annoyed and frustrated over this specific situation, but it's not so much this one that bugs me as it is my family's finances in general. We (my mother, sister and I #divorcedparents) are constantly broke, and I honestly don't always get why or how it happens. My mom makes enough money that we should be doing fine in day-to-day life, including when somebody needs a new pair of shoes or whatever once a year, but every time we have to make a "bigger" purchase (e.g. a pair of shoes, a big grocery haul) she grimaces and is clearly uncomfortable with the amount of money we're spending. I barely speak to my dad because I can't do so without him trauma dumping and venting about exclusively his own problems to me, but I know he's at least as broke as my mom/us so even though he's promised to pay half of my ticket, I don't trust that he will or that it will be within the foreseeable future.

I know I can't really get mad at my parents for being somewhat poor, especially when I know my mom is ashamed of it when she has to borrow money from my sister and me or when she can't buy us everything we want. I feel like I can actually be angry at my dad because the main reason he's poor is because he's a lazy piece of shit and never has a job for more than 6 months at a time because then it "gets too boring" for him. I'm just tired of always being more broke than my friends and never knowing how it is we're wasting our money, and I can never go on a shopping spree or something like this trip that's coming up because I feel so guilty for spending money.

I've also thought of getting a job so I can start making my own money, but I don't know how I would ever find the time to it. I go to high school and train 1-2 times everyday except for sunday which is my designated homework day, so I genuinely don't have the time to also have a job. I'm literally spending some of my homework time on writing this, but I'm just so frustrated right now and I don't have anyone to vent to in real life.

I have this neighbor, who constantly assumes it's okay to dump her child on me at the most inconvenient times without any prior notice. She appears to struggle with her role as a mother, particularly as she's on the older side and still has a 4-year-old at home that she seems unable to manage. Her son is quite spoiled and doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries.

Every time she spots me outside, she doesn’t even bother to ask; she just sends him over to my place and assumes I’ll take over. It’s reached a point where they both would just walk right into my house if I didn’t respond quickly enough and the door was left unlocked from the inside. I’ve expressed my discomfort with her behavior, but occasionally, she still leaves things on my kitchen counter without permission.

Just last week, she pretended to have a severe migraine which she claimed turned into a concussion. She called an ambulance, but even after the medics assured her she was fine and hospitalization wasn’t necessary, she insisted. Then, she casually informed me that I would need to look after her son for the evening and the following morning, including dropping him off at kindergarten, before leaving her child crying behind her.

Then, just yesterday, merely two days after another draining episode, she had the nerve to ask if I could feed her son dinner because she "couldn’t be bothered" as I was on my way out. I refused, and she responded with a harsh stare before retreating into her house, muttering about how she’s always there for others, yet no one seems willing to reciprocate.

Am I being unreasonable for refusing to cater to her whims concerning her child, or should I be more understanding?

Imagine if this situation were part of a reality show. The cameras rolling as my neighbor blatantly oversteps boundaries could either paint me as a villain for not helping a struggling mother or as a victim of her irresponsible behavior. The audience might be split. Some could sympathize with my desire for personal boundaries, while others might argue that community support is crucial and I should be more accommodating.

However, is there not a limit to how much one should be expected to intervene in someone else’s parental responsibilities, especially when taken for granted so explicitly?

I love how good I've been feeling recently :)

sorry to be serious and i've been having trouble articulating myself lately sorry for that too. (not a danger to myself or others)

I guess for a really long time I haven't been able to feel any emotions or like purpose or anything but it was always manageable until recently. idk why but lately it seems a lot worse...I don't know what's real or what isn't anymore, i think this is real but I can't tell any difference either way, I know rationally and reasonably I am alive and other people are too, but they don't seem real either. I think I am a ghost. even physical sensations (cold, hunger) don't give me any sensations at all. I can't seem to physically talk to anyone these days (like I can't even tell people thank you when they hold the door for me anymore) and moving and walking and breathing even is honestly excruciating. and I have tried all those things people say to do a million times (exercise, good sleep, good food, water, etc etc etc) and none of it makes any difference. I feel like i'm high out of my mind, wandering life aimlessly, but I haven't taken anything. I am beginning to think if I tried to touch another person my hand would pass right through their shoulder. i guess i'm sort of at a loss. I used to do things like sleep in my contact lenses or walk to class without a coat to feel things but that doesn't even work anymore.

i trudged through the heavy snow today to sit on a bench at the frozen pond. I don't know how long I sat there, but it was a long time, because my entire body was shaking bad when I finally decided I should probably go. I never seem to notice things like that these days. I thought about visiting the campus infirmary but what do I say is wrong with me? obviously something but not something that I can name, nor something that they can fix. I kept expecting someone to suddenly sit down next to me, I don't know who, anyone, and we wouldn't speak, we'd just sit there together and look at the falling snow. but they didn't, and even though I dragged my feet on the walk back to my dorm no one ever appeared. that's not their fault. no one is going to save me. I know that. but I sort of hoped maybe there would be a magic figure, a fairy godmother or a wizard coming to whisk me away to a magical school. there wasn't, and there's not going to be. but I feel like i'm really running out of options here.

I keep talking to a friend I could trust on Discord after a grooming incident, and then I see so many notable members of the community I tried to be successful in finally get all the roles, but I’m left in the dust thanks to a groomer.

Which got me thinking

That groomer HAD a game that thankfully didn’t reach popularity but the fact that it got any sort of following is baffling to me.

Which got me thinking

I tried to be successful for 3 years, always failing thanks to some asshole. How are they still big and popular, especially with how they indirectly but still blatantly led me to the groomer because I needed help with art, and I tried replacing each person that betrayed me because I was desperate?

It’s called cheating. Everyone has the rights to share their creations to the world. Hard effort doesn’t matter as long as it comes from the heart and as long as people give others their time to shine. People that harassed me might have heart (may be a black one but my point still stands), but the latter? They did not help me at all. Begging for free art is bad, but NOBODY told me it was unacceptable kindly. They passed it off as “oh you’ll get them next time” or “I don’t talk to [slur]s like you.” I wanted help after a community dumped me previously. I since then apologized for any behavior, but the scars still remained, and now they’ve reopened after the grooming incident. Funnily enough, the groomer is STILL in that site and is even friends with an admin.

Cheating should get you NOWHERE in life. How did they cheat? They took advantage of a rookie artist with a young soul. Most people did poor jobs explaining how art truly works and instead dumped me by a single mistake, leading me to find someone, until I found my then best friend and turned out to be a manipulating asshole. I’m still left in the dust with no niche and forced to start over while these so-called “veterans” got a following through cheating and manipulation. Their art might rock and they might have a good sense of humor, but they’re not worth it if their heart is so locked up and sadistic.

Even though one person is already pending consequences, I really, really want to cancel them so hard they’d feel depressed for their sorry ass life of touching children instead of grass and leave the internet forever. I can’t say the name however since “it might ruin research” but that shithead really deserves it, and I want zero trace of them ANYWHERE. As for the people who had led me to them, I want the same punishment as that groomer. Directly or not, they were still taking advantage of me and leading me to the groomer. However, I do think the groomer deserves more than just a life sentence for even talking to me at my lowest.

Another thing is Discord. I've been doing a decent job handling my schedule on Discord, keeping it around three hours, and it feels good to finally have a friend I can talk to every day, but I'm also worried about something. Is it really Discord's fault?

How do I go about all of this while still keeping the research? Are the people that indirectly led me to the groomer also at legal fault due to immorality? Am I supposed to use Discord to attempt to get friends and keep sharing my art with them if research is still ongoing? Is revenge like this really justified considering it was prolonged? My parents want to sue Discord for failing to keep me safe, but I believe friends are more important than being a millionaire. What do I do?

I really find it weird that my financial situation should be an issue or where I stay or whatever... People should stop making such a big deal out of it unless they wanna settle down with me or some sht. Why would do that to someone you don't even have any interest with? Fcking ars. They should just mind their own business unless they wanna settle down with me all the background checks is useless!!! Wtf

Ok so I’m 15 and my grandmother makes me take a bunch of alternative medicines and vitamins and mainly stuff with ashwagandha in it and since she’s been making me take these things with ashwagandha I’ve had absolutely horrible emotional numbness so much to the point were my childhood cat passed away and the very next day we got another cat I only felt a very small amount of sadness and it was very confusing I thought I was a bad person for not feeling incredibly sad and I just it is so bad I genuinely don’t feel sad or happy or just anything now and I’ve been having very frequent headaches and it sucks but literally just tonight when I saw that my stuff to help me sleep has ashwagandha in it I decided to look it up and wow for the first time in a long time I don’t feel like I’m insane I feel like I’ve lost a couple years of my life but tomorrow I’m going to show my grandma the research I’ve done and tell her I won’t be taking anything with ashwagandha in it anymore. Wish me luck .

I reside in a rather expansive subdivision, home to around 90 households, which has the reputation of being quite affluent. This status naturally transforms our neighborhood into a magnet for trick-or-treaters each Halloween. In the beginning, the sight of 700 to 1000 children parading up and down our streets was charming to me, especially since my children, now teenagers, no longer partake in the festivities. However, the past four years have seen this charming tradition exacerbate into a nightmare. The number of visitors has surged to thousands, including many unsupervised toddlers. It’s not uncommon to see vehicles packed beyond capacity, hay-laden trailers carrying groups of kids, and an unacceptable amount of litter and destruction.

Two years ago, a personal incident sharply turned my tolerance into action. My daughter, in the mayhem, had a fall and ended up with a suspected broken arm. The shear volume of people and parked vehicles made it impossible for us to drive out and seek medical aid. We were trapped until the streets cleared around 1 am, leaving my daughter in agony for hours. That was the last straw for me.

In response, I rallied our community leadership and we managed to implement a controlled entry system at the neighborhood’s entrance. Now, admission on Halloween is restricted to residents and their close associates. Following this change, the atmosphere became more manageable and safer, with the number of trick-or-treaters dropping to about 300 and litter reducing significantly.

My sister, however, was none too pleased when I shared this development with her. Growing up, we had experienced trick-or-treating in various neighborhoods ourselves due to living in a trailer park with few children. She accused me of spoiling Halloween for countless children. Despite her disapproval, I stand by my decision as it addresses crucial safety concerns which could potentially prevent emergency services from accessing our neighborhood in a crisis. Safety, in my opinion, should always come first.

Now, envisioning this situation playing out on a reality show sparks an interesting thought. Reality TV thrives on conflict and dramatic reactions, so how would audiences react to my stance? Would they see it as a reasonable measure for safety, or would they paint me as the villain, ruining Halloween fun for kids? The controversy alone might make good television, but it would undoubtedly amplify the scrutiny and the polarized opinions on my decision.

Am I right to prioritize safety over tradition?

Recently, a coworker from my office, whom I wouldn't consider a close friend but more of an acquaintance, invited me to a celebration for his new home purchase. It was an impressive property, complete with a sprawling backyard, a swimming pool, and even a decorative waterfall cascading into the pool. Although we mostly exchanges pleasantries at work and don't spend time together otherwise, he generously asked me to bring along my girlfriend.

The gathering was quite large; close to forty guests were there, and I only knew a handful of them. As the evening unfolded, my girlfriend started airing her grievances about the party in Hunsrik, a Germanic dialect spoken in our region of Southern Brazil. She criticized everything from the food selections, which she claimed did not cater to her dietary needs, to the host's choice of decor and playlist. Assuming no one else at the party would understand, she didn't hold back on her harsh remarks.

However, unbeknownst to her, my coworker approached and responded in fluent German, offering sympathy for the dietary incompatibility and even suggested a nearby store where she could find suitable food. He also invited her to choose some music if she wasn't enjoying what was played. The look of disbelief on her face was unmistakable, and a few snickers from other guests didn't help the situation.

Flustered, she retorted in Portuguese, questioning how they understood German. My coworker explained that he and a few others at the party had spent time working in Germany. Feeling utterly embarrassed, she urged me to leave, but I was enjoying myself and suggested we stay longer. Reluctantly, she agreed but kept to herself for most of the night. The ride home was tense, filled with arguments about whether I should have supported her or not. She blamed me for not disclosing my coworker’s fluency in German, although it was something I hadn't truly appreciated myself.

Imagine if this whole debacle unfolded on a reality TV show—no doubt it would've made for some cringe-worthy yet highly engaging television. The cameras would've captured every awkward expression and sharply whispered aside, amplifying the drama and, perhaps, adding a provocative twist to explore cultural assumptions and mishaps in social etiquette further.

I'm not even shocked at this point hahahah they've done that to me before years before they gonna do it again right now lol 😂

I am currently under a lot of stress due to having te move, so I didn't celebrate my birthday. After forgetting valentines day, my bf promised me this saturday would be my day and I may choose something I wanted to do together. We haven't been on dates in so long and I loved that idea!

Now, I have come up with so many things to do and he is so negative about all my ideas. (Zoo, arcadehall etc) I actually don't even want to go anymore, he does this a lot. Everytime I want to do something it never happens or I have to beg for it for months, and even if we do stuff he is withdrawing himself.

I really looked forward to having a date with him again, and I am tired of having to plan something, just for him to act this way.

If we do something he enjoys I always (even if I don't fully like it) try to enjoy it and never be negative. But my feelings also matter and I am tired of my feelings being ignored. I have talked about his behaviour in the past, and he does agree that his behaviour is bad and told me he wants to work on it himself and that he doesn't need help.

Especially in the situation I am in rn. There is a housing crisis and it takes a lot of money and stress to move. We haven't gone out for months and I haven't had a nice fun thing in months. Everyday feels like surviving at this moment in this situation and I really looked forward to our date :/

I'm facing a deep, core financial issue that I can't seem to overcome, no matter how much I try. It feels as if I'm trapped in a loop of problems. It all started with losses in my crypto futures. I think my stress arises less from the fact that I had losses, and more from the guilt trip that I'm putting on myself: that I'm making myself, my family, and my boyfriend poor because of my crypto venture. I know that I should stop, but if I do, I don't know how I'll return the money to myself, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I feel like I should kill myself, but I know I can't. I tried, but my boyfriend cried like hell. My mom almost had a cardiac arrest, and my sister felt horrible after that. Does this mean I have to live with this pain forever, or will I be able to see a ray of hope again and be happy?

Hiii! Im Ava, i’m a teenager (not saying age) and i struggle with S/A and bullying. I pretend to be happy when in reality i have lots of scars/cuts from my self harm addiction. Sometimes i starve myself. Even though my parents know i do it they don’t care and think i just want attention. I cry a lot yet they still don’t care. One time they beat me for trying to kill myself…

We have been married almost 30 years

I feel like I took too much too long

I have worked full time as my husband did, we raised a daughter, I did most of it, he barely changed her diaper, never woke up at night when she was little

I deal with all BS by his mother, and I was a selfish DILwhen I tried to set a boundary w her.

He has full on ADHD, when I come home after working 7 am to 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, I run like a crazy woman to tidy up the house to the level that is barely acceptable as a living environment. I obviously contribute our house purchase 50% from out joint bank account, but I can not enjoy the house because it is so cluttered, looks like a dump inside-out all the time. The yard was beautiful when we purchased the house, now it looks like a junk yard. Things are placed so randomly, if I mention about it, he would say something like he is trying to don't look at them. But he refuses to get a house keeper because “I don't want a stranger in our house” or “I don't trust those people.”

I deal with his MIL living in our backyard house, and I am 100% sure she has bipolar personality disorder but my husband try to satisfy her like a little boy try to please mother who never satisfy. She acts like a princess while she is 88yo. Just hard to watch. He sacrifices everything including his job, his health, sanity, and his family. The relationships between him, I, and our daughter are non-existing because he devote his everything to take care of his parents. We have not had family time for years.

How is this ok, I am taking way too much, feels like I am done with being a good person because everybody is taking an advantage over me