Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I love my gf she texts me mid game and i feel special

i am an autistic, agender sapphic, and i have huge struggles with trust issues and lack of confidence in relationships. for info, im 19, never ever dated in my life, not even kissed, and for the longest time i didn't care about it at all. but recently, I've been craving some sort of intimate affection. i want someone to cuddle, kiss, share kind words and feel safe with...

but i am also extremely scared of relationships. whenever i think of connecting with someone, my mind wanders to the worst. what if my autism,(lv2) is too much for my partner to deal with, and makes her feel like she's with a "grown child"? what if my lack of expressing feelings makes the relationship underwhelming, potentially making her leave or even cheat w someone better, more "normal"? what if, because my gender identity is so confusing, i end up being replaced by someone who's either more manly or more feminine than me?

my trust issues make connecting to people even harder. it's easier for me to start disliking someone than liking, bcs I'm too aware of everything. i wanna be more open, less scared of people, but doing this might make me vulnerable, and the thought of having my vulnerability weaponized against me for whatever reason is TERRIFYING.

so, that's basically it. if anyone else feels like this, or has advice, I'd really love it! i know therapy is the ideal way but the waiting line is really big, so there's little i can do now... anyway, have a wonderful day!

Living together with my fiancée and her young daughter has its sweet moments, but mealtime has started to become a bit of a battleground recently. As the primary cook in our household, I've always taken the lead on planning and preparing our meals. While I make sure to accommodate their taste preferences, my suggestions have been increasingly met with complaints like, “no, I don’t like that,” or “can we have something else instead?”

Just this evening, pleading for the chance to whip up a simple dish of pasta with homemade tomato sauce felt more challenging than it should.

Earlier today, while we were grocery shopping, I stumbled upon an item I hadn’t enjoyed for over a year. Excited, I pointed it out, only to be met with disdain from my fiancée and a rather unpleasant comment from my stepdaughter, likening the appearance of the food to diarrhea. This remark not only dampened my spirits but also left me feeling rather hurt.

Frustrated, I declared over dinner that they would need to take on the meal planning themselves moving forward. I mentioned that from now on, I could just prepare meals for myself if that would simplify things.

Suppose my ordeal was featured on a reality show. In that scenario, I can only imagine the varied reactions of the audience. Some might empathize with my frustration over the lack of appreciation for my cooking efforts, while others could argue that I overreacted by deciding to step back from cooking for the family. It would certainly spark a lively debate among viewers, each siding differently based on their personal views on family dynamics and responsibilities.

How do you see my reaction in the situation? Was I right?

Raised on my family's sprawling farm, my ancestors had tilled the soil for generations. Unlike them, I developed an early aversion to farm life, finding little joy in the endless dirt and the company of farm animals.

At the age of 18, I bid farewell to the rural lifestyle and relocated to a bustling city, embracing an urban existence I cherished, though I still visited the farm occasionally out of love for my family.

Sadly, three years ago, my mother passed away, and recently, my father died in a tragic accident at work. This left my younger brother, Daniel, and me as the only heirs to the family estate.

Having been financially supported by my parents throughout my life, I anticipated inheriting little and was content with just a few sentimental family items. However, during a meeting with the lawyer to discuss the will, Daniel and I were taken aback to learn that I had inherited three-quarters of the farm, with the remainder going to him.

The rationale behind such an unequal distribution baffled me, particularly since Daniel had devoted his life to the farm, unlike me. I suspected it might be because I have two children, but they were already provided for in the will.

Seeing Daniel's discomfort with the arrangement, I quickly assured him I would willingly transfer the majority of the land to him. Despite his initial protests, we agreed to resolve the matter privately at a later date.

I shared my decision with my wife, Lila, who was vehemently opposed. She argued that my choice was reckless, highlighting the farm's significant value. I contended that the land held value only for those with intentions to utilize it, which neither I nor our children had. Lila suggested keeping half the land just in case our children wished to farm in the future, an idea that I reluctantly agreed to.

Currently, Lila is not speaking to me, awaiting my final decision on the matter. This situation left me questioning: am I being unreasonable?

Picture this scenario playing out on a reality show. How would the audience react to such family drama and decision-making? Likely, viewers would be split, with some empathizing with my desire to do right by my brother, and others siding with Lila, arguing the practicality of retaining valuable assets. Reality television thrives on such conflicts, and this situation could provide ample fodder for dramatic scenes and viewer engagement.

I need some feedback to understand if my perspective on this family inheritance dilemma holds merit.

Hey so idk if this is just a hormonal feeling but lately it's getting hard for me to talk to my own friends about how I feel. I heard so many times on social media that people's friends are so sick of their friends venting to them. And I'm kinda scared and tbh last time I vented it felt like it got so brushed aside so easily. I feel like I'm being annoying. At school i use to just do stupid things with my friends but after I found out my crush said I was annoying and someone (who's pretty) said I don't stand a chance with them repeatly. Even my dad always said means things to me like being stupid or useless. I got kind of use to his mockery. When he found out I liked them he just said I wasn't good enough for them. I feel like social media is too blame as well but now I feel like I lost confidence in myself and my interest. especially at social events one of my friend's is very social so they usually sit with alot of people and idk how to include myself without feeling suffocated or childish. My problems feel so irrelevant and stupid to others.

But I still want to know how to get rid of this feeling because I feel like I'm pushing my friends away and I really don't want to end up alone.

He told me "I'll never love you, as much as you love me".

I love too deeply, I care too much. I pour my heart and soul into every person I care about. He's socially awkward. He has a hard time expressing and understanding emotions. I've managed my expectations because I know he's right. I know it's not malicious. I know he loves me and he has done so much for me.

I just wish I could feel him love me as deeply as I love him but, it's unfair to ask that of him.

I've spent so many years, in such dark places in my mind. I put so much of my heart into people because I know what it's like to hurt. I want everyone I care about to know they are loved. I want them to feel supported, so I do anything I can to help.

I've never expected that back from anyone. It wouldn't be fair to expect that much from someone else. It hurts just the same though, when you take a step back and look at it. I just want someone, anyone, to love and care about me the way I care for everyone else.

It seems so simple.

It feels so selfish.

so yeah

I write songs sometimes

on the way home from after schol band practice yesterday

I came up with a song in my mom's car lol.

I only have most of the chorus

I need to know:

1: is it good?

2: what line should I add to finish the chorus?

It's in the style of like, think Three Days Grace or Linkin Park

here it is:

"And all the colours fade to black

I can't keep going forward, but I can't turn back,

I'm conflicted,

I am stuck,

I'm so sick of feeling numb,"

So that's it

I need another line but idk what to put

and I have no verses either but I'll figure that out myself lol

So I had sex with at a massage parlour. I did it from a place of loneliness and curiosity as i was a virgin before this.

I feel like shit now because i didnt live upto my family and religiosa values

I confessed this to my mom and she was very understanding and supportive.

Now, i am not in any kind of relationship but in future when i meet my future wife and I Will reveal this incident to her as I want to maintain transferencia and dont want to have a marriage built on a foundation of lies. How would she react to me? Imagine if you were my future partner, how would you respond?.

Im going insane. Im losing my mind. I am over complicating everything. My head is full of all these negative hateful awful feelings about people in my life and i know that its my brain projecting stress and irritation onto them and they havent done anything. I know that. Yet still my head is full of these awful thoughts and im just so upset. And i keep talking about it to people and i actually need to shut the fuck up because i am going to make everyone hate me because im talking about it too much. All the good things in my life are like drowning in little ittt bitty bad things. There are SO many good things in my life. So so many more happy exciting things. But then these little things that are upsetting me are just burrying those good things. But its all my fault everything is my fault. My problem. My actions. My ignorance. My choices. My procrastination. Everything is on me amd how my brain works and what im doing and saying or not doing. Im really really fucking tired.

My boss is constantly sabotaging my relationship with a young woman. I want peace and quiet, a chance for thoughtful reflection, to embrace what we've shared, but that's not something my boss likes. Because when I come into contact with what happened with the young woman, I also come into contact with what happened with him. Therefore, I see him, and therefore, those feelings resurface, creating that unfortunate distance precisely because it's incongruous with his absence. This man thrives on making contact, to prevent others from reflecting, and thus avoid the situation becoming unpredictable. He did this once before, and now I understand the issue. He makes so many omissions that he needs me to remain unaware. Knowing whether one is alright in the workplace, amidst the emptiness, I believe, is a way to prevent the feelings that lead to these distances, born from brutal actions committed blindly by the authorities due to the lack of consequences—and they certainly want to prevent them.

This young woman and I have worked hard to maintain a peaceful relationship. In fact, she dislikes being contacted during her vacations. Of course, during the work season, her position demands her time at odd hours, simply because it involves work-related communications. She's a very nice young woman, although I must admit, she can be difficult to work with. I also confess that I'm finding it a bit difficult to write right now, as I'm doing it in a rush, because my boss contacted me today, disrupting my routine, where I hadn't anticipated any contact with him beyond the start of our work period. I don't like this approach, because, as I said, it doesn't allow for any real action to address issues. The idea is that the employee can react appropriately to what happened during the work period, to be more assertive, and to rectify the situation. Otherwise, interfering during the vacation period only results in keeping her tied down by comments about any inconsistency, making it easy to accuse her of deviating from expected norms, when the whole point of vacations is for individuals to express themselves fully.

This isn't something that boss understands, nor does it seem to many others. Everyone else embraces full contact, but I don't. In fact, the time I was in contact with the young woman was to establish my responsibility, to show that as a friend I maintained the necessary boundaries. I can even say that the issue was about establishing healthy limits for our relationship within the environment. I need this time for reflection so I can show her, no matter what, that she has made it difficult to compromise her principles. It wasn't that I forced her to do it, but rather that I felt her own principles were being contradicted. In other words, her feelings for life, which had been sidelined for too long, were being prioritized over her own goals. While we can say that her goals are achieved based on her principles, this is only in the preliminary stages. They weren't developed holistically, leading to unforeseen problems. When she tries to resolve these issues, she ends up abruptly denying them, thus necessitating a more immediate solution, as it's something she's struggling to handle, and it's clearly affecting her established objectives.

My concern with her was precisely to safeguard her goals at all costs and ensure they weren't compromised in any way. It wasn't something my boss understood, not at all. His mindset was that of a dictatorship, one that would create chaos among us, thus affecting his life and mine as well. He masked it with his power, and with public humiliation through victimhood. In fact, I had a major falling out with my boss. I'd always wanted to leave, because for a long time he'd been looking for any excuse to get me out of the office, or at least undermine me, to the point where the best course of action would be for me to resign. Undoubtedly, the possibility of my leaving was a powerful motivator this time, to destroy any chance he had of doing this and to get me out of the office, where my plan was precisely to be there for some quiet reflection. I had to protect my plans, and he wasn't helping in any way. The girl also needed to look after her plans, but she did so in an imposed way through the exploitation of trust, whenever she needed it for said plans.

The young woman, in fact, was suffocating everyone with her social insistence, trying to establish that she was comfortable in the office. However, this wasn't a positive outcome; rather, it was causing more friction for everyone else. She would promise to attend company parties and then fail to show up for some reason, if she even gave one, which I doubt. In effect, the young woman was already creating a kind of explosive situation, one that wouldn't tolerate any mercy if she found some significant work-related loophole to exploit. And they were already looking for her, because the young woman didn't do efficient work either; in fact, everything she did was just a quick fix. It was clear she was only in that office to carry out the tasks assigned to her and attend to her own affairs. I confess, this is the case with me, although I must also say that due to the lack of regulations governing how things are done, everything there is completely improvised, which is advantageous for doing things in that casual, almost haphazard way.

She seeks swift resolutions in the office, without much detail, prioritizing strict adherence to instructions, though any insistence is seen as abuse, thanks to her routine, which consists of other things. In a way, she shares my own spirit. I must also confess that the office doesn't inspire any seriousness, as the hours are far from those of a typical company; they're barely twenty percent of what you'd expect, and even then, they're flexible. The pay is vague, typical of a regular company, but under these kinds of schedules, it's a bargain. Unions are everywhere, so any enforcement by the authorities is met with suspicion. Essentially, the worker feels comfortable performing a social act, rather than a purely professional one, contributing to the upkeep, since the minimum elements for a proper work structure are lacking, precisely because everything is improvised, nothing is in writing. This leads to the office behaving, in the long run, as a social center, whether the authorities like it or not, in exchange for collaboration that is also extremely subsidized, making the company so needy that it accepts meager wages just to have people there, for goodness sake.

This very scenario leads to the formation of groups beyond those established by the bureaucracy, creating situations that transcend bureaucratic boundaries. In order to prevent the exposure of the current social reality, they establish themselves under the guise of what is forbidden. This is the case of my boss and his secretary, who maintained an elitist atmosphere in the office, a situation that was shattered when they used their work for personal gain, thanks to a complaint I filed. For my part, the young woman and I subsisted by carrying out our work, under the established conditions, and through occasional contact. We are using as an example a regulated love in the middle of the office, something that my boss and his secretary did not do, but rather sought that of boss and secretary in the face of adversity, that is, the inclusion of someone of their style in power and thus demonstrate that those below are not segregated.

hey, i’m not sure where to start this. me and my ex were together for a year and we broke up a year ago because he was really avoidant and manipulative. i got with a new guy pretty quickly after because he treated me so well i felt like he was saving me from the past relationship because it was so terrible. anyways fast forward to now, im still with my current bf and im happy with him but every now and then i do think about my ex but i dont have feelings for him. I just found out he has a new girlfriend and idk how to feel. it’s been a year since we broke up yet i feel a tiny bit jealous. feeling jealous about it makes me feel so guilty since i have a bf. i’m just not sure if it’s normal to be a little jealous even though you’re in a happy relationship. maybe i never got closure in that relationship? i’m not sure. i did end things suddenly and completely stopped talking to him because i was just fed up with the way he treated me. when we broke up i wished him the best and left. an hour later he sent me a long paragraph about how everything was my fault and how he thought i was cheating on him?? i didn’t respond to that because it was just so disrespectful compared to what i said to him. anyways i literally just found out about his new gf and i hope i get over this little jealousy, but if i dont does that mean i still have feelings for him? or need closure? if i needed closure and had to contact him to talk about it i would feel very guilty again bc of my bf. anyways i would appreciate any advice thank u!

My parents are really too in my business, yet not enough.

They are such hypocrites, saying this and doing another, thinking it doesn't apply to them because they're adults.

One time, I didn't want to wear the dress my mother chose for me for a party and she slapped me, grabbed my hair, pulled me and told me to pack my things and get out (I was 14).

Today, my father asked me to put my creme on (bcs of my eczema), I put the recommended amount (and the amount said in the instructions) on and told me to put some more even though it could give me rashes and itchiness all week. He started yelling at me for being too "stupid", even though the instructions were in French, the doctor who gave me the instructions spoke French and guess what? The frigging pharmacy who gave me recommendations spoke French. HE DOESNT SPEAK FRENCH. My mother sided with him, like the "good wife" she is. They expect "respect" yet they aren't decent human beings.

I have good grades at school, not to please, but to have a good future and run away from home the minute I get a steady income. (I'm 15 btw).

caught feelings for someone who was never mine to begin with. how did i let myself even get to this point... it’s funny like, you find yourself daydreaming about scenarios that will never exist and suddenly it feels tragically bittersweet when reality sinks in. friends asking if something is going on and you’re here thinking, 'Isn't nothing actually happening?' What do they know that I've missed? despite knowing from the start there was no establishment of anything significant beyond a friendly camaraderie, the heart sometimes refuses to follow what the mind logically understands. whether through shared interests or engaging chatting (that one time we had a heated debate about which superhero is superior), these little moments fostered a fondness. oh deceptive yet innocent illusions of potential romantic chapters...

It's clear to me that climate change is a genuine issue impacting many around the world. However, I must admit I'm not particularly moved to take action myself. Frankly, the concerns closest to home are what matter most to me. It may sound harsh, but I suspect that's the reality for most people. Why should I disrupt my routine for global issues that don’t seem to impact my immediate environment?

Honestly, I've got my plate full already.

The way I see it, each person values their problems higher than others', and calling someone selfish for focusing on their own life seems unjust to me. Those pointing fingers are often no different; it’s natural to prioritize personal challenges over wider societal issues that might not feel as pressing.

Moreover, changing the course of global issues like climate change should be handled by government policies, not just individual efforts. It's unrealistic to expect one person’s actions to make a significant dent in such a massive problem.

Imagine if I were on a reality show spouting these opinions—how would the audience react? I'd probably be branded the villain of the season, the self-centered contestant with a disinterest in pressing global issues. Viewers might criticize my lack of commitment to environmental causes, leading to heated debates about personal responsibility versus government intervention in social media comments and discussion panels.

Struggling with family basically...

I hate being an elder daughter who's supposed to be the 'perfect' child.

I need to get the best grades, but it's tiring and exhausting now.

Nobody really tries to understand MY point of view.

My mother is too stubborn and strict. She gets mad and disappointed if I don't get the perfect marks. She pretends to be caring, but indirectly shows her disappointment in me. Worst of all, I can't vent to my friends because I don't want to burden them when they're dealing with their own problems.

Also, I need to be that role model for my younger sibling. I can't afford any mistakes.

I'm the child that my parents don't love. My younger sibling is the favorite. I love my little sibling, but I want the same love too. I just want my parents to be proud of me, for once. To tell me that my efforts are enough.