Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I recently found myself in the role of a bridesmaid at my friend Clara's wedding. Clara and I go way back to high school; although we don't see each other often, it was still special to be included in her big day. She had also invited a group of our mutual high school friends, many of whom I hadn’t seen since starting university.

Just before the bridal shower, I discovered I was pregnant. This was particularly poignant as I had suffered a miscarriage after announcing my previous pregnancy not long before. Understandably, my boyfriend and I were cautiously optimistic this time around, agreeing to keep it quiet until we felt more secure in the pregnancy's progress.

During Clara’s bridal shower, the maid of honor encouraged a drinking game. I steered clear from alcohol, opting for water, and excused myself from drinking using the excuse that I had an early morning the next day.

All was well until halfway through the party when our tipsy friend, Carla, offered me a shot. I politely declined, but she was persistent, even whimsically offering to wake me up in the morning. Despite my refusals, she jokingly questioned if I was pregnant, to which I hesitantly responded with a flustered no. Sadly, my reaction sold me out. Carla loudly outed my pregnancy, leading to an unplanned flurry of congratulations from everyone.

Though the spotlight unexpectedly turned on me for a moment, I was keen to deflect the attention back to Clara. It was her celebration, after all, not mine. I managed to brush off the congratulations, assuming the alcohol might help everyone forget by the next day.

I wasn’t really enjoying the party since I wasn’t partaking in the drinking, and decided to leave early. A couple of days after, Clara texted me, expressing her disappointment about me choosing her bridal shower to announce my pregnancy. I quickly explained that it was unintentional and that Carla was actually to blame for blurting it out. I apologized hoping she would understand the mix-up.

Imagine this scenario played out on a reality show. It would probably churn up quite the drama, with cameras zooming in on everyone’s reactions. Close-ups on Clara’s surprised face, the amusing confusion amongst guests, and the inevitable sideline interviews where each guest gives their exaggerated take on the situation. The episode would probably be marketed as a shocking reveal with all the ensuing misunderstandings and confrontations making prime time entertainment. It’s bizarre how real-life misunderstandings could be someone else's reality TV gold!

For the past 16 years of marriage, punctuality has continued to be an elusive concept for my spouse's parents. They are consistently late by 20 to 30 minutes and fail to notify us in advance of their tardiness. Last Halloween was particularly telling. They had promised to arrive at 6:30 PM for trick-or-treating with my now-teenage children, who had canceled their own plans to spend the evening with their grandparents. When 7:15 PM rolled around without any sign of them, a phone call revealed they were still "5 minutes away." They eventually showed up 23 minutes later, apparently unconcerned by their lateness.

This recurring issue has compelled me to establish a new family rule I've dubbed the "5-minute rule." According to this directive, if someone says they'll arrive at a specific time and fails to show within 5 minutes of that time, we proceed without them. If it's a meal, we'll order and start eating. If they arrive as we're finishing, we’ll simply leave.

An example of this rule's implementation occurred just this evening. They had made plans to dine out with my teenagers, affirming a 7:00 PM pickup. Reminder of the "5-minute rule" was given during a phone conversation at 2:00 PM. Nonetheless, by 7:05 PM, they had neither appeared nor called. When I contacted them, they claimed to be 10 minutes away. I directed them not to rush, as we would not be waiting, despite their pleas for another chance citing their one-hour drive as an excuse.

It feels outright disrespectful that they don't regard our time with any seriousness. Should I feel bad about enforcing my rule?

Imagine how this issue would unfold if it was part of a reality TV show scene. The dramatization of the confrontation, complete with tense music and close-ups, would likely divide viewers. Some might side with the grandparents, arguing that family deserves patience and understanding. Others might applaud the enforcement of boundaries as a necessary step in cultivating respect for others' time. The episode would definitely spark debate and could possibly even trend on social media as viewers share their own family punctuality horror stories.

Now, thinking about this situation, I wonder: Is my new "5-minute rule" too harsh?

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I’ve always been very insecure and jealous in my relationship, somehow he made me feel that way, even though he never did anything wrong. I have his Instagram logged into my phone and I was always checking what he was doing. Until I decided to check his TikTok video history. I found a series of videos of a beautiful woman. I said the girl’s name to him and asked who she was, he said he didn’t know her, and I kept insisting, saying I knew he’d watched her. He said he thought she was pretty. Now I feel insufficient, stupid, ugly, trashy, and everything bad there is. I don’t have the courage to break up, and I’ve already cried a lot and he comforted me, apologized, and all that. What do you think I should do? But he always knew I felt insecure because I always opened up to him, but I know there wasn’t much to do, because he never gave me a reason to feel insecure or suspicious. It’s very hard to break up because a big part of the time I’m with him, I’m happy.

I just want to clarify that I love my friends. I've actually talked to them about this. This is just one thing that has been bothering me about them, and I know they just want me around. But I think I've had my patience run thin this week ever since a new game came out. My friends all complain when someone else does this to them, but THEY'VE BEEN DOING IT THEMSELVES. It's been grating me, like my brain is perpetually hearing nails on chalkboard and I just want to let it out.

I know hanging out in silence or parallel playing is a thing in group calls, I do it too. But don't fucking call me or ask me to join a group voice call, only for you to do something else entirely to the point of ignoring me. One example is my friend always asking me to join a call, then just out of the blue decides "OH I need to go on a bit of a walk, brb!" one fucking minute after calling me. They don't even hang up and call later, they just fucking leave me in the call for 30 minutes to an hour to wait for them (I know because one time I stayed to see how long they're gone for, I hang up on them now when they do this).

Another example is one friend asking me to hang out with them, but when I come in, they're all playing a game together. They'd ask me about my day, but when I do tell them but then they're too fucking busy playing that they don't even respond to me. It's one thing if I came in, fully knowing you guys are playing and I just want to see you play a game. It's another to outright ask me to make time for you guys, and just flat out not even acknowledge me. What was the point of calling me here in the first place?

It takes a lot out of me, too, since I get easily tired with social interactions (I love socializing, my energy level is just very low). It's even more exhausting when they specifically ask for my attention, and they just outright fucking ignore me even though THEY asked me to join them.

I don't know, I know it's not that serious. But sometimes, it just feels like they're not respecting my time at all when they do this, and it gets so exhausting.

I'm with this girl. I love her, she loves me, no doubt. We're both girls, btw. But sometimes, I feel a little desperate. I do my best to please her. Making the best choices for her, making her happy.

Doing her kinks, notably. I don't force myself, but that's mainly because she likes that and make her happy. But I don't know why, I'm always under the impression that something goes wrong when I want something, want to do something my way. It doesn't work, or doesn't happen. Must be my fault, I guess. And yet... yesterday we did something that should've lead to a big climax for me. That was something like sexting, online. There is some times when I can write her long wall of texts to make her happy. And at this moment, I realized she was doing something else, was playing to something while writing to me, with long pauses between our messages, while I was waiting for her, while I was thinking we were sharing an intimate moment. It made me so sad. She swore to pay more attention to my self-wellness. I'm ashamed to say I don't fully believe it.

There's so many times when I don't feel considerate enough... But i'm certain she loves me as much as I love her, that she does her best, and she has a lot of things to do. It's not always easy to be with me. But... can't help but being sad, not confident. Not self confident. I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. We don't want to leave each other.

Wish you the best everyone, have a nice day, thanks for reading, it helps letting out some steam.

Bye !

I struggle to sleep at night without seeing images in my mind. Sometimes my thoughts just race, other times I get recurring flashbacks of things that happened to me during my childhood. I remember things starting when I was about 4? My mother was an abusive alcoholic. I was pretty much at her mercy due to my father being deployed overseas. She was neglectful; she didn't feed my sister and I, she taught me about sex at a young age, I saw her having sex with her cousin. All around, things were pretty awful.

At some point, I was taken by the police to a station. We were shipped off to foster care for 2-3 years. My father fought hard to win the case and he eventually did, but he's no saint either. He's been through a lot as well but the way he copes is unhealthy. When we first arrived home, my father was doped up on oxycodone pills due to being permanently disabled and discharged from the military. He tried his best but he attempted suicide by mixing drugs and alcohol and we were sent to my grandmother's. I don't remember much between the ages of 7-12 so things kind of get blurry.

At some point, my father became so bitter and violent. He often compared me to my mother and would lash out at me in fits of rage. He would hit my head a lot and I don't have many clear memories anymore. I remember one time when I didn't take out the trash. It was around 12:00AM when he noticed that the trash wasn't taken care of. He immediately got violent with me and started pinning me against a wall, screaming and spitting in my face.

I decided to flee, barefoot in the rain. I ran and hid at a nearby apartment until he stopped looking for me. I sprinted over a mile to my nearest friend's house. I remember completely breaking down in front of him and I felt terrible. His Mom comforted me and gave me the guest room to sleep in. The next day I dreaded going home. I also had a field trip to a college the next day, so I had to suck it up and act like nothing happened. I remember the field trip being a blast, though. My theatre class went and saw a play. :D

Anyway, I just need to talk about this stuff. I can never find a proper way to bring it up to my friends or my therapist. I stopped going to therapy because I felt like they never let me fully empty my brain. I've been depressed for a long time. Sometimes I just break down because everything is too much. I get so frustrated with myself for holding myself back. I'm in my 20's with no job and no drivers license. I feel so pathetic but it's so difficult to start tackling these things.

I feel like a fish out of water, honestly. It seems like everything I touch becomes unstable. I don't have a good sense of self or purpose. I have passions, but I get burned out so easily. Sometimes I just want to disappear so I won't be a burden on anyone else anymore. I don't know. I find it hard to rely on others for support. I just needed to talk about this stuff tbh because it's been stewing in my mind for too long.

i know this isnt a bigdeal but please just i need someone to talk to about this

Today my mom took me and my younger sister to the dentist, my appointment was covered by my insurance/dental plan/ whatever you call it and unfortunately my little sisters wasn't. my mom treated us to food and stuff before which is kind of a tradition of ours, eat a good meal before getting your teeth cleaned, it's fun. But after we were done with our appointment my mom hadn't realized that the people at the dentist had added more things onto my sisters tooth cleaning appointment (like xrays and whatnot) and the cost came up to 500$, my mom was upset but tried to make the best of it by reminding my little sister that she cares alot about her tooth health because alot of my mothers family is unfortunately on the poorer end and their teeth are horrible because they cant afford to go to the dentist, and she was just saying that she was happy to see my little sister be cleaned. Then my little sister for no reason started getting mad at her, saying that she wasted her time because her teeth were perfectly fine anyways and getting all pissy over having to even go? which I thought was strange because she was the one who wanted to come, and was insiting on getting food and finding a place to go and my poor mother was trying still to make the best out of it but my younger sister continued to be rude to her for no reason, and this time she was laughing and i genuinley got upset but my mom just brushed it off... (sisters 16 btw). After this our mom wanted to spend some time at us at winners cause we had to pick up my twin sister, and she was talking about how excited she was to spend time with us cause its been forever and shes grateful like we agreed to spend time with her, and the minute we step out of the car my little sisters like "Im going to the toy section at walmart" and my mom was like "Oh are you sure?" then again, she was rude and completely dismissed my mother... i came to walmart with her to supervise her purchases and she went to the toy section and was trying to be some expensive monster high dolls, i told her not to spend to much money because we already spent ALOT today for her teeth and for food. she ignored me, and insisted on buying the toys. then texted my mom who said no. i tried to get her to buy a seven dollar calico critter blindbox thing, she was onboard till she saw the LPS toys and completely dismissed me. I continued to try and be nice to her because my little sister pointedly likes my twin much more then me, and out of desperation to form a better bond with her i didnt speak up anymore, but i kept inisting on buying something cheaper. Overall when we went to winners she was more relaxed cause she got what she wanted, me and my mom searched the racks, it was fun. then me and my mom went to buy food for my twin because she was coming out of her work, first day btw, it was like the entrance thing. My little sister kept telling us that we shouldnt because we would be wrong to buy her food without letting her choose, but i insited i knew what she would like to eat because she is my twin, and i chose right cause my twin was thankful that we brought her food when we came to get her.

But even my twin was being horrible to my mom, I get everyone was tired but it was genuinley so rude i was astonished. after finding out that my twin landed the job my mom expressed her concerns about her working around men, not that she was against them or anything, but my sisters job would require her to be in private spaces alone with unknown strangers for awhile. So my mom, in intent to enlighten my twin of the harm that could potentially come her way from not being careful started telling her story about how someone tried to spike her drink in her workspace (Well actually did)... and my twin and sister laugh? they laugh in her face? and i got mad, but i didnt want them to be upset with me so i said "guys she just told you a literal traumatic event that happened to her?" and my twin said "yeah yeah ive heard it before?" .... and my mom got upset and was like "life isnt lala land you need to understand that people have bad intentions and keep yourself safe" and they continued to make fun of her I cant even write what they said without it making me so mad. She asked for a life 360, and i convinced my twin to get on board with it.. JUST SO YOU KNOW, my mom is not a control freak at all, she just worries for us which is fair. we get home and im already upset, im helping my mom with the things we purchased in the car, helping her bring them upstairs and away, and then i come to my room exhausted from the long day and my twin and sister are there. And the first thing my twin does is demand me to grab my moms credit card to pay for the tarrif she got on a package. After all that disrespect in the car you just expect me to steal her card to spend it without her permission? I said to wait till i change into my pyjamas, i change my shirt and return to my room for some pyjama pants, and there she is again demanding me to grab the card. I say no, and she gets mad. She says and i quote "I have the page open for the payment already, just go grab it i only need to type in the numbers"?? this made me super upset i gave her some snarky comment and go to ask my mom for the card and she gets mad. WHICH IS FAIR. shes upset at my twin because my twin has spent money on her card for months without her knolwedge or permission, then my twin will yell at her when shes caught and ultimately play the victim despite the fact that she actively steals hundreds of dollars from my mom every month. I manage to calm my mom down, and make a deal that my sister wont spend anymore money on her card just let her pay for the tarrifs because it was me and my twins birthday gift... my mom leaves and my sister calls her crazy unreasonable and controlive. and i got mad. but i gently suggested that we should consider how she feels because shes spent so much money today and she probably dosent like knowing she has to pay a 40 dollar tarriff on a package that was ordered against her will. and my twin was now fuming despite the fact that her and my sister were in my room without my permission and were now using my tv. to appease them i let them use my tv, i made some playful comments about the show because my little sister was making a take and she had some flawed knowledge, i corrected her and got hit, like hard. I told her "that was to far, and seriously dont do that again." and she got so mad at me and told me to stop tryna act like a parent and that it wasnt a big deal. IT wouldve been funny if it was a playful hit but that was pure malice...

I love my mom so much, and my sisters being so blatantly rude and dismissive really hurts me. it also makes me upset because these guys are always preaching being kind and understanding why people do certain things, but apparently these ideas only apply to them. I know this isnt really a big deal but today I was just so frusterated, my sisters are typically much more rude to me but seeing them be so mean to my mother then have the audacity to sit there and think theyre justified in the matter makes me so mad.

sorry if the grammar is horrible i have a pounding headache and i just wanna dump this somewhere before i go to sleep

I had a weird experience in my past relationship. I was financially exploited by my ex, which caused me serious issues regarding trusting my current partner with money. I feel like relationships are just null and void after a breakup, and this is bothering me enough that it's hindering my feelings whenever I spend money or he asks me to buy him something. I'm triggered, wondering if I'm wasting my resources for nothing or if it's something I should cherish.

TW slight mention of SH and suicidal thoughts

In the past I had some depressive like symptoms. I sh in many different ways and also had some kind of suicidal thoughts. I have gotten better over the last year because some issues I had with other people solved and everything is actually fine. I have been fine. Things have gotten better. However I feel like I am slipping again. I am slipping. The last days or weeks I feel worse and thoughts come back I hoped wouldn’t. I thought it would finally get better because I actually began to see a future for myself. Still the feeling is stronger that there isn’t anything. I suddenly notice that maybe I am the problem. Others care about me and are actually right in many situations but I just tell them off even yell and even am manipulative in some situations. The worst about is that they often then actually believe me and I do want to apologise but the words just don’t come out. I don’t make things better and just wallow in my despair. I try to. But I am not sure. I hurt myself again. It’s stupid. I don’t even know why. I somehow feel like it’s all part of my character, who would I be without my problems? I need that feeling of self-pity. I need to be able to fault others and yet I know that I don’t make it easy for others. I want to have friends and want to be close to others but I can’t share anything about myself. I want to have something genuine and yet I am jealous if they’re better than me or even feel worse than me. I just can’t feel empathy for them. Even while I am writing this I feel like I am reading off a script. That I am not being genuine.

So I gave birth to a child, when he was inside of me I didn't like him, hell I wanted to kill myself just to destroy him, I didn't get pregnant by choice, I couldn't get a abortion because of the law, my whole pregnancy just fucked with my mental and physical health but then when I saw him for the first time and holded him I just couldn't help but love this little treasure, but sadly after 2 weeks of pure happiness of me holding, nursing, talking and sleeping with him I got a lot of pus filled bump all over my forehead, since the doctor doesn't know what is it, he forbade me from nursing and holding MY CHILD, my treasure so know it's my mother and siblings who takes care of him, i'm jealous, I also want to hold him but I can't, I know that they are just trying to help but I can't help it, i'm jealous of them

Hey so i wanna tell yall about my father. He is a good person , maybe i dont know. i will just describe him. my father is a househusband. My mom is a teacher she has to stay out in another city for the job. she comes home in the weekand. and my mom is a great lady. and my father? everyone say he is good. he cooks for my sibling and i , he does the housework too and he take care of us. But he calls me a whore,slut and what not..i feel bad and i am a fresh eighteen year old school drop out. my mom used to tell me her stories. my father abused her . He still does he doesnt respect her he sometimes calls her whore too. OK just last month i was talkking with my mother i was telling her how i will go away from home to study and ofcourse for my mental peace. I think my father heard. and he keeps on telling mr now that i will go to sell my body outside and be a whore he tells me i was born to be a whore and shit. believe me guys this happens like any other day but i cant stop my tears whenever i hear those words from my own father's mouth. and did i tell you he beats me too? Oh u should see how my shoulders and hands are full of deep ugly scars that would remain till my last day i guess. and i am typing in my pc and my left hand's ring finger hurts . It is all red and blue and the skin is tight. I got beaten today too. I am the eldest daughter btw. Hehhe thankyou for reading!

I like this guy, c, he is cute, funny, sweet. Literally checks all the boxes.

I've known C from school for 2 years but the first time saw him I was sitting I

In the school cafeteria and saw him walking by through one of the windows. My first thought was "oh, he's kinda cute". I didn't have any classes with him that year and didn't see him until the first day of school the next year.

The first day of school came, and because I am sooo lucky, I had art first period with both of my younger sisters. We arrived to class and he assigned us seats. I was sitting at a table with a girl and guy who are a grade lower than me, same grade as my sisters, and C. (C is in the same grade as me). Over the next 3 months I had the best time at this table, he made me laugh so hard.

Suddenly, my art teacher gave us new seats, and I wasn't sitting with C anymore. I was already sitting alone at lunch so being isolated from people who made me happy sucked even more. Eventually this really kind girl, G, invited me to sit with her and her friends during lunch. Me and G are now best friends. Well one of these girls, K, like C too. I was to afraid to tell anyone of my crush, plus I also wasn't sure it was a crush yet. Unfortunately, k and c ended up dating for a while and I decided I would never tell anybody my crush. Well the school year came to an end and they broke up. I left him alone and didn't see him again until next school year.

This school year c was in my science class. The second I saw him all my feelings immediately came back. He would occasionally talk to me and I would catch him looking at me across hallways and the cafeteria. I was elated. Little did I know my school was going to bump up to advanced science. I, of course, took the opportunity as it gave me a high school credit, unlike the other course. So, things went along as normal, c would still look over at me and I would look over at him, but neither of us ever made a move.

Then I have a sleepover with G and she convinces me to get his number and text him. She ended up finding his number and texting him on my phone, I was scared shittless, like I was a HOT MESS. He ended up not remembering me from art, or knowing my name, or even the fact that we had science together a month ago. That hurt, like a lot. I gave up, he wouldn't start the conversation, his texts were dry, and he never talked to me in school. Of course I would still get butterflies whenever we were close to each other, but I tried to convince myself I didn't like him. I told my friends my crush was over, I didn't text him again, and I pushed all thoughts of him out of my brain.

THEN I FIND OUT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

(This is like 2/3 months later)

I here one of my friends casually mention that C and V make a really cute couple to my other friend. My heart dropped. V was the one girl at school that I would constantly compare myself to.

She's prettier than me, has more friends than me, is cooler, taller, funnier, hotter, of course c wanted her, hell I wanted to BE HER.

I pushed down my feelings but now G is dating one of Cs friends so whenever me and G hang out with Gs bf he's always there, and it's SO AWKWARD CUZ I STILL LIKE HIM AND I THOUGHT HE LIKE ME

but apparently I'm just some delusional teenage girl who actually needs to chill out, cuz he has a gf, who's not me.

I don't know what to do, I've tried liking other guys, but I almost have to force myself to like them. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried talking to my therapist about him, not the fact that I still like him but she was there for when I started texting him and stuff.

If you guys have any suggestions for getting over somebody, that would be great.

Love y'all!💕

I love my husband very much. He's always been there for me and he's very supportive and I feel very fortunate to him in my life. That being said he also has some neurotic tendencies. I'm well aware of them and I'm pretty sure he's had them since forever. His parents have kind of warned me about them but I'm a very understanding person and for the most part I can easily address his tendencies and then kind of calm him down.

I'm also somewhat positive that he's probably on the spectrum and refuses to get tested because of the negative connotations. I was recently tested and I'm on the spectrum as well, high functioning but it just helps explain some of my unique tendencies.

Some of his "tendencies" are also linked to separation anxiety or abandonment issues. I don't know where they stem from I just know that when we are separate from each other, his actions feel exacerbated.

He's away at a conference right now and he always gets super clingy when he's away. I don't do anything different and just live my life how I do everyday but he's always blowing up my phone and if I don't pick up or respond to his text, he gets super clingy and worried, and like even more clingy than before. If I don't pick up his text messages or his phone calls, he will check my location just to make sure I am where I say I am. I've never cheated on him, I will not cheat on him. I have been cheated on before and I think it's terrible. When we first entered our relationship 8 years ago, We express to each other that we had both been cheated on and that it's something we would never do to each other. We both agree that if we want out of the relationship, it's easier to tell the other person that rather than to play with their emotions . We also have a very open and honest communication relationship. We talk daily and we tell each other everything. It does not bother me, it's like we are best friends.

Right now, we are also in the stages of buying a house. While he was away I noticed a house that popped up on the market and I reached out to a realtor because I I thought it would be good to tour it before someone else makes an offer on it. The house is great. It matches all of our needs and while I was touring the house with my agent, I also had the pleasure of being on my phone with my husband through FaceTime. I didn't necessarily want to FaceTime him and I wanted to experience the house but he was adamant that I walk through the house with him. When we finish walking through the house I thought maybe we should put through an offer because it does meet all of our needs and it's in our price point. My husband was adamant that we need to tour it again with him in person before we put down an offer. I told our agent that I would prefer if she did the research to find out if anyone is making an offer or if the house has any potential offers because I don't want to lose this house and I'm prepared to put forth an offer before my husband sees the house. My husband heard all of this through FaceTime. While we were leaving the house, my husband wanted me to show him the front yard so I did that and then I wanted to leave and I got in my car to drive off and I hung up on him through FaceTime. Immediately after hanging up on him, he started calling me on my phone. I didn't respond the first time so he called again and again, and again...this time while I was backing out of the driveway. I ended up turning down the wrong street and going down the road the wrong way because he kept calling my phone and it gave me weird anxiety and distracted me.

He knew I was leaving to drive home and yet he called me six times. I don't have a new car. I have an old Hyundai . I do not have a touch screen or even a backup cam. I have a very standard 2012 Hyundai Accent. I have the old school Bluetooth. I have to hit a button on my steering wheel to pick up the call. I was so flustered by all of his phone calls that I had to pull over, pick up the phone and collect myself. He wanted to talk more about the house. I was so pissed because I felt like he was hounding me and all I was trying to do was go home. He didn't give me any space and I didn't appreciate that. He also was frantic and wanted to talk all about it and said that he arranged for another tour when he lands back home after his conference Even though our agent had already scheduled a tour... Now, he wants me to pick him up from the airport and drive him to the house just so he can see it in person and we can do the tour together. I'm annoyed. I feel like he doesn't trust my opinion and I feel like he talks over me and at me, not with me. I think I'm just venting this out because I want to understand if my feelings are validated or not.

This is not a joke. I'm trying to be as serious as I can.

I’ve had a weird relationship with feet for a long time, but it wasn’t until 2018 until I started feeling like it became an issue.

I always had a sense of control with it, but now it just feels like an annoying bad habit.

In more and more places I go to, it seems like dangling shoes had become more common, distracting me and making me curious. In 2020, I discovered that I could heal if I actively searched for that kind of stuff, but when it surprised me, it made me nervous. Around 2025, my internet access had been severely limited, and now I can barely search for anything. I can’t look at these images in a comfortable place while at the same time not getting yelled at by my mom for using my phone. She will even notice when it disappears. Even worse, around April I found a new artist I loved, and I searched deep and got startled with a drawing of a character dangling their flat shoe. I also got into another piece of media that suddenly had the character heelpopping which took me off guard especially since I thought it wasn't the kind of thing to do that.

It’s harming me mentally and I can’t search for it willingly to try and relieve myself or draw/commission someone to help me with it. What do I do? What would you do? Also, sorry if this vent seems a bit weird, but I had no other way of letting it out without obvious ridicule.

HE'S SO FINE

How tf do I get over someone?