Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

After a decade-long split from my former spouse, who is also the father of our two children, I find myself in a continually complex co-parenting scenario. During the later stages of my second pregnancy, his behavior deviated increasingly toward that of a younger, more carefree individual without family responsibilities. He prioritized socializing over spending time with our family, so much so that his friends habitually expected me to pick him up post-gatherings as if I was his caretaker.

Initially, he fought for equal custody of our children but was granted limited visitation instead. However, he gradually took on more responsibility, earning him 50% custody rights. Around this time, he had a child with another woman and seemed to take a more mature approach to fatherhood, even gaining full custody of this child. He later remarried, and they had two children, besides partially supporting two other non-biological children.

Our relationship improved slightly until his second marriage began to falter, making things between us strain once again. His expectations began to stretch beyond reasonable boundaries, transforming my role from co-parent of our mutual children into an almost communal parent figure for his broader family. He would bring his other children during custody swaps, hoping for interaction between all siblings, and made frequent requests for me to babysit or ensure that clothes and school supplies from our children were shared with his others. His demands culminated recently with accusations of me not purchasing enough back-to-school supplies for not just our two children, but all five under his roof. This built tension and he implied I managed our responsibilities poorly by not supporting his other children financially, which I firmly rejected, stating my obligations are only towards our shared children.

His perspective is that, because the children are all part of the same household part-time, I should also co-parent them equally. I disagreed, arguing that my financial and parental duty extends only to our biological children, not his others, which led to further disputes about our responsibilities and the nature of our co-parental duties.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the dynamics and arguments could be made even more intense and public, drawing wide speculation and opinions from viewers. The blend of family drama and personal disputes could potentially become a central storyline, generating a mix of sympathy, judgement, and critique from the audience. Would the public view my insistence on setting boundaries as rational, or would they perceive me as unhelpful and callous towards the children’s unified family experience?

Huuuge vent/dump of thoughts

So it's the 9 of August. Currently 5:30 am. I can't sleep. Yesterday, i was a bit stumped on what do all morning. Then by lunch she was mad at me. Which was fair cause i didn't do the dishes. And she was mad that I 'have fun cooking' and then don't do the dishes. Which she's right on, even though i barely cooked recently and the only dishes i used were the ones we used to eat. Also the times where i do wash them, somehow she just doesn't notice ig? Cause she still says i haven't done in months, like the day after. But idk maybe doesn't count. She's like that with a lot of other stuff, like sweeping the floor for example, which i have done like 6 or 7 times in last few weeks, specifically because She asked and said she wanted to mop the floors. And she still hasn't done though? She's only done it in a very small spot because It was necessary, but then got mad when i skipped a room last time. It's not a big deal but still weird. Anyway today She was mad about me. And usually i just kinda hide untill It passes and today i did the same, i Just kinda hid in the bathroom as long as possible untill i couldn't anymore cause i had to cook and even after that I was staring at my phone and just trying to get through lunch as fast as possible to go back in my room. And i wasn't really looking at her cause i didn't want her to get mad again. And then she was asking for sugar and water and basically she felt bad. Maybe low Sugar/low Blood pressure. She said It was probably bc she eat little sugar. Which yeah. That's why since SHE IS THE ONE CONCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO EAT LOW SUGAR AND TO EAT HALF ASSED MEALS ALL THE TIME cause:

1)She doesn't like cooking and usually puts no effort in It.

2) She's been self concious lately, more than usual, and has been obsessed with dieting and losing weight etc. She's always has been since i was a kid and pushed that stuff since i can remember. ( I was 5/6 when she'd make me watch TV shows about overweight people who were on the verge of dying, and She used to say i'd be like them one day and die young.) But lately It's her new obsession.

Which. All in all. Both points are Fair. Do what you want. Even though, clearly there's a flaw in your judment if you feel this bad. (For referece It's even the first time and i told her multiple times to eat more sugar, i've tried even packing her lunch when she went to work and i to school, but sometimes she "didn't see It". I honestly It woundn't have been as much of a problem for now that we're at home more often, but whatever. That aside. After she felt better she went on about how i didn't even notice and was just staring at my phone (which i was because I Just wanted to leave and feel safe in my bedroom.) and that I need to "wake up". Basically she thinks i'm dumb. Which, sure, she's not off the mark right there. And Just all of that has been on my head all day. And there's just this huge feeling of painfull dread like under my rib cage that i can't shake off. I didn't really do much after that. I made some drawing which i am quite happy with + made dinner. And i've just been really stuck on the fact that i simply can't do this quite right. I should've noticed. And just in general should be Better. Idk what's wrong with me that i can't just be "good". I've tried and i'm trying but i'm just so stupid and i mess It up. Or Maybe i Just can't change the fact that i'm bad and this point less cause i'll always be a bad person. Sometimes i think i'm improving. And i think i am doing good and Better. But i'm not. I'm really not. And It just kinda feels like all my attempts at being better are fake, like three half decent ideas in thrench coat trying to make me pass as a good person when i'm not. And they're doing a terrible job by the way. I'm doing a terrible job. I should be better. Today i should've noticed. I should be preparing for September. Idk studying things I was behind on last year. Learning how to wake up sooner. Or Better yet, not let my grades slip for the past two years. Or not messing up every time i've been trying to be better for the past five years. Any would've been good. Honestly, i'm Just so tired of being bad. Sometimes i wish i wasn't here, so her life could be better and easier and i wouldn't hurt her. Other times i wish i was alone. Like really really alone, Not Just feeling alone. So at least i could be horrible alone and not hurt others and do things badly at my pace.

So, here I am, sitting in my messy room, trying to figure out if I’m just some person who’s a little slow on the uptake when it comes to feelings or if I’m actually asexual. To be honest, I really don’t know. I mean, I’m 17, and all my friends are out there exploring their “sexual awakenings” or whatever they call it, but for me, it’s like a big ol’ void. Like, I don’t even know what I’m missing. I get that everyone’s on this wild ride of hormones and romantic entanglements, and there’s me, standing on the sidelines like I’m stuck at a video game level that won’t load. My friends casually toss around terms like “crush” and “hookup” while I'm over here thinking, “why bother?” It’s like I’m reading a manual in a different language that nobody thought to translate for me.

The other day, my buddy was all hyped up about this girl he liked, and he was telling me what he thought would happen. He kept dropping lines about “chemistry” and “sparks,” and I just couldn’t relate. Every time I hear someone say, “you’ll know when it happens,” I roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised I don’t see my brain. I mean, what does that even mean? Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something to get this so-called “spark”? I’ve tried to be interested; I’ve flicked through dating apps, swiped here and there, and honestly, it feels like a chore. Like, I’m trying to watch a movie that everyone claims is a masterpiece, but I’m just sitting there wondering when the good part starts. My mind wanders to the definition of asexuality, and I catch myself thinking that maybe I fit that description. But then I wonder—am I just overthinking, or is it real? Am I just taking a little longer to get to the party?

I’ve read enough articles, seen plenty of videos to know that asexuality isn’t just “being picky” or something you grow out of when you hit puberty; it's a legitimate orientation. But it gnaws at me. Am I really asexual or just a late bloomer who’s scared of rejection? I mean, every time the topic of sex comes up, my brain goes into this autopilot mode where I’m nodding along, but inside I’m just screaming, “This isn't for me!” It feels like I’m meant to be a part of this club, but they won’t let me through the door, and I’m honestly starting to think I might not even want to go in. Maybe that’s the crux of it—this nagging feeling that says, “why do I have to be labeled at all?” So, dear reader, I turn this back to you: Am I asexual, just confused, or frankly, who cares? Do you ever feel this disconnect, or is it just me spiraling down this rabbit hole?

I'm currently 22, turning 23 soon, and I'm in my fifth year of undergrad. Each summer, my family embarks on extensive trips in their camper, and this year, we rendezvoused during their travels. From the outset, my relationship with my father was strained; he barely spoke to me, which I initially attributed to problems he had with his truck during their journey.

After spending a few days together, my mom mentioned their plan to remodel their basement into a one-bedroom apartment. The idea was partly to provide me with rent-free living space and partly to enhance the property’s value. Given my tumultuous year with housing—having had to move three times due to disagreements with roommates, issues with past girlfriends, and troublesome landlords—my parents suggested this basement apartment as a solution. They presented it as a way to ease my financial burdens and curb the ongoing stress. Unlike my brother, who seems to excel in following their guidance and is pursuing a high-paying major, I've chosen to become a music teacher, a path that doesn’t promise substantial financial rewards. Additionally, my secret continuation of smoking weed, which they caught me doing years ago, and their incessant unsolicited advice and opinions, have only widened the gap between us.

I expressed my reluctance to move into the basement, citing the constant familial conflicts and my desire for independence. Having always felt overshadowed by my parents, especially since my father was also my high school science teacher, I’ve struggled to carve out my own identity. This historical backdrop intensifies my current resolve.

Predictably, my decision was met with disappointment. My parents think I’m making a financial mistake by not moving back. Despite juggling a full-time job as a restaurant manager and my studies, I find this scenario less damaging to my mental health compared to living with them. I’m tackling some credit card debt, but it’s manageable with a few months of dedicated work. Their continued attempts to monitor my phone, control my banking, and pay for my education make me feel boxed in. Any resistance from my side seems to position me as the ungrateful, rebellious family member.

Imagine if this whole dynamic was unpacked on a reality TV show. The cameras would likely amplify our family tensions, portraying a dramatic generational clash over independence and control. Viewers might sympathize with my struggle for autonomy, or they might side with my parents, viewing their interventions as caring, albeit overbearing. The added pressure and public scrutiny could either force a resolution or deepen the rift, making for compelling television but an unnerving personal experience.

Today, after days and years of unknowingly dealing with the worst yet the most trusted people in my life, I've decided once again to just let go of my attachments towards them. I don't know, I wouldn't want to call them my parents anymore but I guess this is almost a small letter to them. I will not say sorry, because everything happened, not because of me but because of them carelessly making me. I may have grown into a "bad" person but I belive I've had enough. Because of this, I don't know how I'll ever get to go to college. Eitherway, I will try to learn making a business, maybe through digital products. If all else fails, I'll just either become a nun or convert to Buddhism and become a monk. I may not be heavily religious but I do believe in spirituality..does that make sense? To me, a God does exist, but it all jsut depends on us on how we view them, whether they be many or just 1. Sorry for yapping but these are my thoughts right now in living. Seriously. My dream for getting a "great" and "amazing" education is over. It was never my first dream so I guess it's been short lived. Instead, I can finally have chances to actually try other risky jobs..like journalism..the arts.. Film..all expensive if I had to take courses in uni for them but if all I can definitely jsut into any of these fields and still survive. Wow.. Life can take you anywhere, and I'm afraid I might even become dirt poor if I'm not too careful.

I'm 41, living in San Francisco, and working in IT—a field I used to love, or at least respect. But lately, it feels like I’m just drifting through loops of Jira tickets and endless Zoom calls, chasing deadlines that don’t mean anything. The money’s fine, the perks are shiny, and yet every morning I wake up with this dull ache in my chest, wondering, Is this really it? 😶 You ever look at your screen and feel like you’re coding your soul into oblivion? I’ve spent nearly two decades optimizing systems and building apps, but for what? At some point, I stopped building anything that felt like it mattered. I find myself googling “farm jobs in Portugal” or “how to start a tiny house Airbnb in the woods.” A part of me wants out, desperately, and not in a dramatic way—just a quiet pivot into something real. Something grounded.

I had a conversation last week with a friend who left his engineering job to become a school counselor. He told me, “I make half as much, but I sleep better and laugh more.” That stuck with me. What’s the point of security if you’re never mentally present to enjoy it? I keep picturing a life with fewer pings and more peace. I want to do work that aligns with my values, where I’m not just another node in a corporate network. Maybe I’ll teach, maybe I’ll run a coffee truck in a mountain town; I don’t know yet, and that uncertainty is actually kind of exciting. Even my therapist said, “Sometimes burnout is just your soul begging you to pay attention.” And I am. I’m listening—finally. I’ve started saving more aggressively, decluttering my place, and having the tough conversations with myself. Do I stay and numb myself with stability, or leap and try to rediscover meaning?

If you’re still reading this, maybe you’ve felt it too—that pull toward something different. Something simpler, more aligned. I’m not naive; I know leaving a career at this stage isn’t easy. But maybe what’s harder is staying in a space that quietly chips away at your spirit. I don’t hate tech, but I do resent what it turned me into—a guy who checks his Slack messages on vacation and calls it “being responsible.” 🤦‍♂️ There’s a whole world out there, and I’m finally curious enough to step into it. One of my favorite quotes lately is from Joseph Campbell: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” So I guess the question is—what are you afraid to leave behind; and is it truly serving you, or just keeping you comfortably stuck?

So my friend is mad at me because I refused her help. She said I got "mad" when she tried to help me, which I DIDN'T. I just said "I don't need help" and that was it! But now, she's over here, talking shit behind my back! LIKE IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH ME, SAY IT TO MY FUCKING FACE. And someone I THOUGHT was my friend is just taking her side. Ok, maybe I've been a little bitchy lately, but that's because I have things going on in my own life. If you cared to ask how I'm doing once in a while, you'd know! I'm actually about to fight her. She wants me to "grow up"? Yeah. I will.

I once shared my life with a man, Martin, who suffered greatly from alcohol addiction. Unfortunately, this battle with substance abuse overshadowed our relationship, leading to a breakdown, and ultimately, our divorce. Tragically, Martin passed away from complications related to his alcoholism. Time moved on, and I found love again, remarrying a kind man named James, though my daughter Sarah, from my previous marriage, has struggled to accept him, fueling a bit of tension at home.

Sarah is soon to be wed, and while the occasion should be joyful, the preparations have surfaced some challenges concerning honoring family. Sarah expressed a desire to display a photograph of Martin at her wedding ceremony, a gesture I find touching as it acknowledges her father. However, her plans extended to having me sit next to this photo during the event, isolating my current husband, James, from sitting by my side. Even at the family table, she wished to seat me alongside the photograph with no place for James.

I voiced my objections, stating such arrangements made me uncomfortable. This response provoked a rather heated reaction from Sarah, who accused me of being selfish and dishonoring her father's memory. I had to stand firm; I suggested that should these plans go ahead, I would feel compelled to miss her wedding altogether.

Such a confrontation didn't sit well with Sarah, who branded me as uncaring, and now, other relatives have begun weighing in on the issue. The situation is becoming distressingly divisive.

If my family dilemma were part of a reality show, it might draw quite a mixed reaction from the audience. Viewers might split, with some empathizing with my position on maintaining respect and unity in my current marriage, while others might side with Sarah, seeing her actions as a tribute to her late father. Reality TV thrives on emotional conflict and difficult family dynamics, so this scenario would fit right in, perhaps stirring up discussions about family loyalty, grief, and new beginnings.

The complexities of blended family relationships and honoring past connections would likely resonate with many, sparking widespread viewer engagement and perhaps even debate over the best way to handle such sensitive family matters.

So... help me... Am I the one being unreasonable here? 😅

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Here I Go Again haha. I told you how I fell in love with a man much older than me who showed me high expectations. He was attentive, loving, kind, everything a woman wants.

As time went on, he got what he wanted, which was to win me over, and he began to show disinterest in me.

During the process, I saw many red flags, and in that outburst, I recounted how bad it felt when he didn't talk to me. I couldn't leave him because every time I tried, it was a sadness that killed me inside, and I wasn't able to stay in bed for days, feeling very bad.

Obviously, I wasn't going to die, but it's something you don't know how to handle. Sadness, no matter how much you try to deceive yourself, exists in the chest, in the head. Even those who've been through it know that it's also felt in the heart.

I didn't know what to do to end it because the relationship continued, but I was having a hard time. I decided to talk about it, and he told me in simple, blunt words that he didn't have any feelings for me and that he just wanted to have a good time. I understood everything perfectly. What I'm thinking is that there will be a door of feelings, showing affection and love, knowing that they will leave the person later.

It doesn't matter, maybe I idealized too much. I was confused, but what all this leads me to are some questions:

Why does it hurt so much? Life goes on.

Why so much dependence on someone who doesn't show interest?

I saw my mother die with my own eyes, and this hurts me more?

I came to the conclusion that my father abandoned me when I was young. My mother, even though I was with her until the last moment, left me at a train station and left me for 14 years. My grandmother kicked me out when I asked for shelter because I was homeless!

I became a mother for the first time, and my father left me alone during the entire pregnancy and childbirth.

I wanted to start a family, but he went with another family.

My pain is the abandonment I've always suffered and I can't get over it because I met this person who gave me all the affection I never received, and I didn't want to lose her.

Obviously, throughout my horrible life, I had addiction problems, and because of this, I've gone back to using drugs almost every day. Simply put, I want to die because I fell back into a job I had, and now it's worse. If I don't have drugs, I go crazy, my body shakes, and I become violent.

The End

P.S.: Never abandon anyone. Be clear, show love, but clearly. And if you're a man, don't abandon your children. Damn you.

We had an intelligence test at school and the teacher told me I had “musical intelligence”. I’m very proud of it since I love music so much! I love listening to Eve mostly and I’m trying to learn Japanese because of it. Are there any other Eve fans here? I’d like to know if you have any favorite songs (no matter the artist), I want to hear different styles.

I took a nap earlier that was an unintentional 9 hours. During that entire time, not a single one of my friends messaged me to check in on me or strike up any conversations. It felt like that once I stopped putting in the effort for a little while, no one actually gave a shit about me. It feels that once I stop trying, I cease to exist in their memories. My one friend is putting more effort into their polycule lately and it feels like because of that they don't care to message me at all until it's late in the evening and the only thing they're messaging me for is to say goodnight and make empty promises to talk to me more in the morning. They're allowed to be happy, I'm happy they are- but what about our friendship? It feels selfish to ask that, feels selfish to want them to stop paying attention to them for more than five minutes to talk to me again. Hell the only time they talk to me like they used to anymore is if one of their wife does something that severely upsets them.

Last evening, a group of us decided to check out a recently recommended eatery by one of our pals, Charlie. Honestly, I wasn't all that thrilled since I hadn't heard much about the place, but I figured at least I'd be spending time with my friends.

Upon arrival, I skimmed through the menu but nothing really caught my eye. Reluctantly, I settled for a small starter and a milkshake, while the others opted for heartier main courses. When our orders arrived, my choice turned out to be less than satisfying, but I went ahead and ate it since I was quite famished. On top of that, I found the pricing overly steep; the milkshake was tagged at $8 and the starter at $6, making my simple meal a whopping $14.

The ordeal began when it was time to pay the check, which was considerably high due to the lavish orders by the rest of the group. One buddy suggested we split the bill evenly, but that didn’t seem fair to me seeing that I had ordered significantly less. I voiced that I’d rather just pay for my order. While some friends were understanding, a few, including Charlie, thought I was complicating things. They argued an even split was simpler, whereas I felt it unjust to overpay for what I had consumed, especially given my discontent with the meal and choice of venue.

The discussion caused a bit of a holdup—about an additional 15 minutes as we figured out the bill since I needed to pay by card at the counter, and the place was bustling which further delayed the process. Some remarked that splitting evenly would have saved time, but in the end, I only paid my $14. This whole scenario left me questioning if I had acted selfishly. It might have been quicker to just divide the bill, but I didn’t see why I should cough up an extra $10 for essentially no reason. Does standing my ground make me unreasonable?

Imagining this scenario unfolding on a reality show adds an interesting layer. The tension and drama over the bill could have been amplified, displaying varied reactions under the pressure of cameras and an audience. It’s possible I would be portrayed as the antagonist for stirring conflict, or maybe as a sympathetic figure standing up for fairness in social settings. Reality shows thrive on these interpersonal dynamics, and the scene might have made for a compelling segment, sparking debates among viewers about social etiquette and fairness.

Was I wrong for wanting to only pay for what I ordered?

Background: At the age of 20, I saved up and purchased a VIP concert ticket for almost $500 without informing my parents. This decision came shortly after a disagreement sparked by a previous incident where our car hit a deer; a situation I was visibly upset about and vocalized my frustration, much to my parents' displeasure. My parents, who are in their early forties and hold conservative Christian beliefs, were already strained from their own unresolved disputes.

Story: My intention was to wait until my birthday in July to tell my parents about the concert, hoping the celebratory atmosphere would make them more receptive. However, they preemptively discovered the expense on my bank statements, leading to a series of intense confrontations. This revelation has caused significant tension within our family, with my siblings caught in the middle. My older sister, 22, and younger brother, 14, sympathize with me but also think I should have approached the situation differently by discussing it with our parents first, given their known perspectives.

Since discovering the ticket, my parents have been pressuring me to cancel it, accusing me of humiliating and undermining their authority. They believe that as a Christian, I shouldn't engage in such 'worldly' activities and that by insisting on going, I am not only disobeying them but also endangering my moral well-being. These disputes have escalated to the point where I feel somewhat alienated at home, prompting my siblings to take on more responsibilities to ease the situation.

From my parents' standpoint, they are hurt by my lack of communication and feel that as my guardians, they should be consulted on such significant decisions. They fear for my safety and spiritual health, viewing the concert as a potential path to sin.

Reality Show Scenario: If my family drama and I were featured on a reality show, the audience would likely be divided. Viewers might empathize with my desire for independence at 20, while others might side with my parents' concerns for my well-being and their emphasis on family values. The tension, arguments, and emotional moments would certainly keep viewers hooked, showcasing the stark contrasts in mindset between different generations within a conservative family.

I fight with my mom and when she wanna makes up i just freeze and cant talk. I give the toxic silent treatment

MY STUPID "FRIEND" IS DEATH STARING ME. HE'S BEEN DEATH STARING ME ALL DAY. IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HE WON'T TALK TO ME HE ALSO HAS TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I KILLED HIS DOG OR SOMETHING. WHAT DID I DO. WHY IS HE DEATH STARING ME.