Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I tried looking it up online... But I still don't get it🫠. And there are different meanings or definitions📖. So, I'm hoping real humans can inform me about what the abbreviation... MIL... Means🙇🏻‍♀️✨. This was one of the categories to write on iiwiars.

man, i was so pumped about this new gig i scored. you ever just hype something up in your head like it's gonna change your life? that's where i was. imagining myself in this dream job, strutting in with that big shot energy, taking over the world one meeting at a time. i thought, finally, i'm about to be where i've always wanted, doing stuff that's meaningful and transformative. but damn, was i wrong. got there and everything felt like a major letdown. the work is dull, the team barely talks to one another unless it's about something trivial like the damn coffee machine breaking down, and don't even get me started on the so-called "growth opportunities" – what a joke. And suddenly, all that confidence I had just plummeted. it's like when you save up all your money for the concert of your all-time favorite band, only for the lead singer to show up inebriated and mumbling half the lyrics. feels like i’ve been suckered into buying a timeshare in disappointment town.

let me tell you about the point when reality hit. we had this big project that i was amped about... finally, a chance to shine. but turns out, the whole thing was just smoke and mirrors. the higher-ups didn't even care about the quality. seemed like they were more into playing politics than actually getting any meaningful work done. my input? brushed off like i'm some peon who speaks gibberish. my self-esteem took a nosedive off a cliff. it's all learning experiences they said, but hell, learning what? learning to suffer in silence while others pretend to paddle the broken canoe? what they don’t put in the job description is that sometimes the job is less about what you do and more about how you fit into the dysfunctional puzzle. gives you some gnarly flashbacks, doesn’t it? someday they’ll write this crap into a tragic comedy and we can all have a good laugh. ever read kafka? feels like that but without the cool existential reflections and too many office memos.

but hey, i'm not gonna sit around here sounding like debbie downer. i'm trying to find that silver lining in all this. recently, i started focusing on the small stuff. like, okay, the job sucks, sure, but that doesn't mean every day is a wash. i’ve met one or two folks who are genuinely decent, which is a rarity. sometimes we grab a beer after work and share horror stories, it helps to blow off steam. the thing is, the truth hurts but it's also kind of liberating, right? i'm learning (slowly, mind you) that i ain’t defined by a lousy job or how the higher-ups see me. that's just a blip on this radar we call life. and man, if there's one thing i've picked up, it's to keep an open mind and not let disappointments tether you. life’s too short to be bogged down by unrealized ideals. chase something else, like finding a passion or a hobby. who knows, maybe i'll be the next youtube sensation cooking questionable recipes. i mean, what’s life without a little spontaneity and gamble? So how do you cope when the daily grind gets you down? just curious if there's any universal hack out there we're all missing. 🤔

As long as I can remember my parents were big drinkers and were almost always high on drugs. Thi sled them to having a bad tempe. If I were to do something as a kid, they would get pissed off and start throwing thingsand yelling. I remember one night, I believe I was 9 when I was playing with my cup that I finished drinking the water out of. My parents had just came back from the bar, around 3:00 am. They were drunk and I remembered they’re eyes being bloodshot red. I was using my cup to set on my head for fun but it made them mad. They told me to, “shut the hell up, you mistake.” I quote.

Like the tittle I’m asking myself, what if I was born later in life? Back story my parents were both in high school when they had me. So life was interesting my mom graduated school early to be able to work, and my dad continued school to “make a better life for us”. I wished for a lot when I was young especially toys but even how much my parents and grandparents tried to make me happy, I still couldn’t feel content. And now I’m in my teens my parents broke up and married other people and now I have step siblings and cousins. And every day I live my life saying “what if I was them?” Being able to buy everything they want, having their parents be able to afford everything they could ever wish for? I’m jealous of them EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY for having ADULT parents. What if JUST what if I was them…?

So I was sexually assaulted, abused and groomed at a very young age by another minor she was my best friend and everything she did to me I struggle with being hypersexual and suicidal + I cannot like myself or be healthy in a friendship with anyone I keep hurting the people around me and I am a very very bad person she made me this version of me and to this day I think it's my fault for being naive enough to let her ruin me I still look at that little girl and think she's so stupid she's getting beaten up on a daily, bullied, humiliated, forced to think she's disgusting, ugly and whatever else you can think of the night I got assaulted it was the only time I was allowed to sleep at her house she was weird the whole day making me change in front of her because girls must show each other everything I made it clear I didn't want to and it led to her taking off my shirt and fondling me this night ruined my sexual drive I have an addiction now and I absolutely feel disgusting and hate myself my body and my life but I want to continue living and to be happy so if anyone is reading this please help me through text (sorry for little to no punctuation and shitty grammar I am not from an English speaking country)

You hear it all the time—“Don’t mix work and friendship.” “Coworkers are not your friends.” But honestly? I didn’t believe it. I thought I was different. I thought I had built real relationships at my job, that the people I worked with had my back. Turns out, I was an idiot. Because the second things got complicated, the second there was a choice between loyalty to me or loyalty to him, guess what they picked? Not me.

It all started with a post. Just one stupid post. I wasn’t even that harsh, just some light criticism, some questioning about the way things were being handled at the biggest electric car company in America. You know, open discussion—the kind of thing we were all encouraged to have. Or so I thought. But the second my words hit that cursed blue bird app, the tone changed. The same people who laughed in the break room, who shared memes about all the chaos, who agreed with me in private DMs, suddenly weren’t on my side anymore. They saw my post, they saw my name attached to it, and instead of scrolling past or maybe even messaging me like, “Dude, maybe delete that,” they went straight to reporting me.

Next thing I know, I’m pulled into a “meeting.” No warning, no real discussion. Just straight to the point. “You’ve been engaging in behavior that is not aligned with company values.” Oh, company values? You mean the same company values that encouraged employees to always challenge the status quo, to be “bold” and “speak their minds”? Guess that only applies when you're kissing the ring, huh? Because the minute you question the self-proclaimed genius billionaire, suddenly you're not bold—you're a problem.

I sat there, staring at them, wondering if this was a joke. I mean, I wasn’t the only one complaining. We all talked about the unrealistic deadlines, the insane pressure, the way everything had to revolve around one man’s impulsive tweets. I just happened to be dumb enough to say it where he could see it. And my friends—the ones who shared my frustrations, who vented right along with me—what did they do? They snitched. They forwarded my post, flagged it, escalated it. Why? To score points? To save their own asses? Maybe they thought throwing me under the bus would make them look like good little soldiers, obedient workers in the empire of a guy who calls himself a free speech absolutist but fires anyone who dares criticize him. Maybe they were just scared.

I walked out of that building with a cardboard box and a pit in my stomach, not because I lost the job (honestly, I’d been thinking about leaving anyway), but because I realized how fake it all was. The inside jokes, the happy hours, the shared eye-rolls in meetings—none of it meant anything when it came down to it. The moment things got real, they chose the billionaire overlord with weird Nazi fanboy energy over the guy they used to grab lunch with.

And I get it. People gotta protect themselves. No one wants to be on the wrong side of the guy who reinstates fascist accounts on social media and spends more time posting memes than running a company. But damn, I thought at least one of them would’ve had my back. Instead, they smiled to my face, then sent my post straight up the chain. So yeah, lesson learned. Coworkers are not your friends. No matter how much you laugh together, no matter how many times you grab a beer after work, at the end of the day, when it’s you or them, they’ll choose themselves every time. And I won’t make that mistake again.

F**k you, Elon & my team 😘

Being 27 and having always admired my older brother, who has built a remarkable career, it’s hard to see him struggle to find motivation at work. He's always been the overachiever, the one with the Midas touch in the corporate world. But lately, he seems to have hit a plateau, and it's tearing him apart. He used to love his work, thrived on the challenges that came with being a senior VP at a major tech firm, and could always see the "bigger picture." But now, it’s almost as if he’s lost his "vision board." I'm genuinely at a loss trying to figure out how to motivate him, and I find myself questioning, have I ever been truly motivational myself? 🤔

I've always believed motivation is like that surge of adrenaline that propels you forward. However, it seems my brother has overdosed on it in the past, and now his reserves are empty. Should I remind him of the countless TED Talks we've watched, where experts such as Simon Sinek emphasize the importance of "starting with why"? Would that work, or is it too clichéd? I can't help but wonder what his "why" might be right now. Sharing personal stories can occasionally spark motivation, but whenever I start reminiscing about the days he would narrate how he closed million-dollar deals, he cringes. The memory probably feels like a distant dream. It makes me ponder, can we still ignite the same fire with mere recollections?

"Communication is key" is a phrase that rings in my head, akin to a mantra. But every time I attempt to broach this sensitive subject, he shrugs it off with a dismissive wave and changes the topic to movies or politics. It's puzzling because this isn't the brother I grew up looking up to; he wasn’t one to shy away from hard conversations. I once read in an article by Harvard Business Review that a supportive environment and professional coach could restore dwindling motivation, but suggesting that feels like walking on eggshells. How do you recommend such resources without making it seem like you’re overstepping? Do I suggest books instead? 📚

Perhaps the work-life balance equation needs reevaluating. My brother's career has been marked by unwavering dedication, sometimes at the cost of personal time. I recall instances where family get-togethers were subtly interrupted by work calls, and he pulled away into another room under the guise of "just one email." Reflecting on this makes me question, could this lack of personal downtime have compounded into a formidable barrier against motivation? Recent trends in workplace culture advocate for "mental health" days, and maybe I should encourage him to explore that avenue. But does one just "push pause" on responsibilities without feeling a sense of guilt or abandonment?

In facing such challenges, asking for advice seems natural, yet solutions aren't always clear-cut. Everyone has moments when motivation evaporates like a benign cloud on a breezy day; it’s just my brother hasn't experienced this before. I’ve read countless anecdotes of people who found their zest by exploring new hobbies or volunteering. Perhaps motivating others starts with oneself; sometimes, it’s all about nurturing an intrinsic motivation that circumvents external validation. As I endeavor to support him, I can't help but introspect — am I helping him unveil a hidden facet of his potential, or merely trying to reignite a spark that should burn of its own accord? So, dear reader, any thoughts on how you might navigate this delicate terrain of motivating someone who once knew no limits???

First, a bit of backstory if it helps with understanding my current emotions and past decisions:

My family is very unstable and rather poor. Father was an alcohol addict who didn't want to get treatment, so my mother kicked him out when I was only 3-4 years old. She found someone new within a year or two who would then act as my new dad. He was a very stubborn but kind person. Although we lacked a real son-father connection he never really did any harm to us other than not giving back some money he lent from my mother. He never cared to teach me anything and fixed everything himself. Both my older siblings left early because they would rather be with my drunkard father than my stepdad. So I grew up as an only child without a father figure pretty much.

When I finished elementary school, my parents sent me to a highschool far away that only had male students. There were schools much closer to our home that didn't need me to commute by bus 3 hours every day. The reason they didn't want me in one of those closer schools is because it wasn't as prestigious. Considering everyone in my new school was so far away from where I lived I never really made friends. There's also the fact that my parents were from a different country and I didn't look similar to the other students, so that didn't really help either. I didn't really care about it until much later.

I didn't have any interest in girls considering I was only surrounded by boys and all we talked about is videogames and similar stuff (it's around the time I became a nerd who got interested in these kind of things.) Never was in any friend groups I just had 1 or 2 friends I would be around during breaks. The first interaction I had with girls my age was when we were about to graduate and our teachers hosted a prom. There was a similar school in the same city that was girls-only. So they invited them over for the prom. When our schools met for the first time I started to realize that girls weren't interested in me due to my height and looks. I looked different and it made me feel inferior to my peers.

Basically nothing went well and after graduating I got into college but I felt overwhelmed and too much pressure so I didn't last long. Everyone around me started dating, getting their drivers licenses and good cars. Meanwhile I was there, a head shorter than most guys, hell even some girls were taller than me. Not a single time in my life has anyone ever complimented me so you can imagine how low my self worth was. It didn't matter that I worked out, took care of myself and acted nice towards everyone when guys who didn't put in any effort were much more attractive than me. At that point I just couldn't do it anymore, I dropped out not only because of my inferiority complex but also due to not having any real goals or future dreams I want to achieve. Up until now I just wanted to fit in and never really worried about what I want to achieve in life.

After going through a ton of job applications, internships and even attempting to go to a different kind of school, all that it made me realize is that the world doesn't want me and everyone would be better off without me. It was in my early 20s that I already gave up with life after trying so many things and everything was just a failure. My siblings only gossiped about me, my stepdad was stuck in his own bubble as usual and the only person that was still on my side was my mother. Up to this day she's really the only person that gives me energy to continue. I was kinda hoping, as cruel as it sounds, that she would die early so I could end it aswell. I had no directions, no motivation, no goals.

So after thinking about how to go on in my life, I decided to start living a simple minimalist life and only focus on myself. Considering my cv was such a mess, most jobs I applied to rejected me (even when it wasn't a mess right after my graduation, every workplace rejected me). I worked in a few jobs that were so miserable and not worth the money that it didn't take long for them to either kick me out due to my inefficiency or too many absences due to my depression. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse but I was born with a visual impairment so I was able to apply for disability benefits which were enough to let me move to my own place and start being more independent. Of course I still have to apply for jobs but considering my messy cv, my looks and my disability no one ever wanted me again.

Fast forward a few years later, now I'm a friendless, disabled loser in his mid 20s. No real work experience, no skills, never talked a girl irl. Just living from day to day and indulging in mostly instant gratification activities like videogames, doomscrolling and whatever else you can think of. I still workout and take care of myself not that it would make a difference but atleast in the end I am able to say "Atleast I tried". Whenever I think of any goals for the future, I just see a blank screen with no text on it. I've gotten used to living in the present so much and enjoying the moment that I let go of any hope of becoming a more successful person in the future. I learned to be grateful for what I have and appreciate the little things in life.

I've gotten so used to this way of living that I started actually enjoying it. I smiled more often, looked forward to doing certain things and socializing with people again (atleast online). That's where I met a girl. At the start I didn't think much of it, believing that all I'm doing is learning how to talk to a girl without being anxious to gain some experience for future encounters. But everything was just right. We got along really well, we had the same hobbies, if you even wanna call them that. We had the same thoughts / beliefs about alot of things and for the the first time in my life I felt like I had a good connection to someone apart from my mother. She didn't mind that I didn't want to do a face reveal (even though we shared some other things to each other). It was just a casual fun thing to me that would pass after a few days/weeks.

But as time moved on, we started getting closer, we voicechatted regurarly, texted for hours every single day and spent alot of time together. That's when things got more serious. Over the past 5+ years I've closed myself in this bubble to forget about my past and problems in life and she came up with questions that tackled these exact topics. I really care about her alot and could even say that I love her considering we've known each other for 6+ months now and we never really argued. But I know that I'm not good enough for her. My life is already over, my mentality is messed up, I have no goals in life. And she's out here expecting me to move to her country and introduce me to her family. There's alot of things she doesn't know about me and yet she's trusting me so much. Why? I consider myself as a subhuman who doesn't have control of his life so how do you expect me to take care of a woman? it's just too much I don't know what to do anymore.

As I started opening up more to her, she accepted me for the way I am. As of now, she still doesn't know about some things but she still treats me the same as the time when we first met. I'm so emotionally tired, I've cried so much these past few days because I can't handle this much affection from someone. I really don't deserve her but I can't accept the fact that I might lose her, she's the only thing that gives me motivation to even just get out of bed in the morning. Everything feels like a mess and I don't know what to do anymore.

The world moves in patterns. Some call it fate, others call it coincidence. But she? She calls it cruel.

She didn’t mean to notice him. She didn’t mean to find comfort in his presence, in the way he existed so effortlessly while she felt like she was constantly trying to prove she belonged. But the universe, with all its twisted humor, the way the way it seemed to thread him into her life without permission. It kept bringing them together—always almost, never quite. It was infuriating. It was ridiculous. It was… comforting.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the scariest part.

Maybe it was a test. Maybe it was a lesson. Or maybe it was nothing at all, and she was just a fool searching for meaning where there was none.

But if that were true… why did it hurt?

Before the school year ended, I tried to run for a leadership position in our school, specifically the head role of our organization. I attained it by winning the elections, and I was the only one who ran for it. And obviously, I was the one who was going to win because of it. Afterwards, I represented my org for 4 months and didn't plan to resign because I actually found my passion in this position. I planned projects, organized the turnover files, and assisted my organization in its events. I also was able to appoint my secretary, which took me a while for some reason. Everything was going fine and smooth not until I did something that violated one of the school rules. It was before entrance exams, I was struggling to get resources for my review and due to pressure I did something out of desperation. I snuck a book from the library inside my bag and tried to keep it at home. I was caught by the alarms just as when I was about to go out. I returned it as soon as possible and was anxious on what happened. Due to this, I was obliged to undergo a disciplinary intervention for three days. Just as when I thought everything is going to be fine after I finished this, the council moderators was also informed about the incident. And because of the council rules, anyone who committed something like this should be relieved from the leadership position. I was so disappointed and hated myself for few weeks. Then, the council moderator decided to have a meeting with me and my fellow officers about the position being vacant. I just said to them that I resigned, no other explanation. But deep inside, I let them down. I know I could have done better. I know I could have avoided that situation. Fortunately enough, they still value me, but not all of them. Some of them lost respect for me because I am not the head anymore, and it was all so sudden. I am also having a hard time detaching myself because I also want to contribute and compensate after I stepped down. It all goes back and forth. I really shouldn't have ran for the position in the first place. I hear voices like these. I didn't even deserve my position and that I was only there for a show. I didn't even achieve the projects I have in mind. How can I even move forward? Yes, I want to volunteer and help my core officers but everytime I do so, I hear voices that why am I still here? It's my last semester in this school and it's hard to feel this way everyday, especially since I lost my confidence at the same time I lost my position.

Long vent

Super, super long day today. I feel exhausted and just honestly like a wet rag.

Had two tests today and idk how to feel about them. I don't think they went bad, but i do think i could've done better. I did study, but not as much as i wanted to, cause yesterday i felt really bad and couldn't continue for a while. I just kinda wanted to go home and sleep forever, but then my mom told me that this morning my grandpa called (from my dads side, we're not good terms with them) and got aggressive and insulted her over the phone. Now she'd like me to call him and defend her, I think. Maybe argue back and throw some insults of my own. But i get really nervous in arguements and It takes nothing to make me start crying, and Just the thought of calling and argueing with them specifically freaks me out. I don't know what do right now. I'm just tired of everything.

Me and my now ex boyfriend are in a weird situationship thing. He’s treated me better than how we were in our relationship. But he’s been talking to me about doing OF and I’ve been feeling so jealous. Before you say anything, I’m fully aware that I can’t control him and he’s his own person. But it’s hard when you have such strong feelings for someone and they do certain things that just strike you the wrong way. It hurts but I don’t necessarily have any right to say anything to him about and I can’t make him not do it. It really sucks.

Should I resign for my mental health or should I stay to provide my family?

I'm a 32-year-old guy whose girlfriend, who is 33, recently bought a quaint little house. I didn't sign the deed, and honestly, I’ve had no issues with that arrangement. However, things took a slight turn when she asked me to chip in about 20,000 euros for home renovations and new furniture. It’s true that I would enjoy the improvements as much as she would while we're living together, but using up a big slice of my savings for a property that isn't in my name feels pretty risky.

Rather than making a hefty one-time investment, I suggested paying ongoing rent instead. It seemed like a fair solution to me; I’d help with the living costs without tapping deeply into my reserves. But my girlfriend didn't take it well. She believes it’s unfair because she’d have to shoulder the renovation expenses alone, potentially straining her finances. She can’t seem to wrap her head around why I'd prefer renting over helping her directly with the cash. In her eyes, paying rent would ultimately be an expensive path, and she thinks I am abandoning her in a financially tough spot.

I want to be supportive and definitely see a future together, but I must think about my financial stability too. Contributing in a way that also safeguards my end seems reasonable—doesn't it?

Now, imagine if this whole situation were part of a reality show. Audiences might be split on this drama! Some might side with my girlfriend, seeing my refusal to invest directly as a lack of commitment to our shared life. Others could empathize with my need to protect my own financial interests, particularly since I don’t have ownership of the house. The debates would likely intensify in social media comments, making for quite the storyline that keeps viewers hooked and fiercely debating the roles and responsibilities in a relationship related to money.

Am I a jerk for opting to pay rent rather than a lump sum into a house that isn't mine?

it's here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dJrEwxBgKSUqyO-Mp80RhViNspWw7xsGC36JhAGY93Q/edit?tab=t.0