Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

It literally cannot just be me but I swear whenever I'm angry I have to refrain from like hurt myself and I don't like cut myself or anything because I don't want the scars but like sometimes I'll bite i bruise and I know that's not good but sometimes I also bang my head against the wall not hard but sometimes enough to get a headache because when I try expressing my feelings or how I feel my parents do this thing with it's like say this or that and they be like well if I could do this and if I could do that blah blah blah blah blah but when I try to do that they say no we can't do that right now or no that's not going to work etc. and stuff like that and and it just feels like so much but I actually just got done crying again and this time I didn't bring my head on the wall and I did bite myself but it was like very softly at least for me it was soft because I didn't have a pretty high pain tolerance but yeah I am really proud of myself for not doing what I normally do and being able to stop myself for a second and calm down I think I'm a post on here a lot though because I don't really have friends because of homeschooled so yep. ( This was typed with voice text sorry if it suck but I feel like I can barely type rn) is this just me???

Sincerely,

Melody

Alright, so here's the deal: I'm 19, NEVER dated a girl, and now that I'm trying to get my feet wet in the dating pool, I'm hitting this wall. Dating apps are scary, man. Everyone's out there already got their game going while I don't even know where to start. Do you just slide into a girl's inbox with lame jokes? Sounds risky as hell.

I'm wrecking my brain thinking about icebreaker questions. What's too personal? What's boring? Like hey, sure I could ask her favorite color but then what? My friend told me it's all about memorable first impressions; she's supposed to instantly remember you're different from ten others asking dumb stuff.

Last week I tried being funny and asked about pineapple on pizza... she didn’t reply back... 😶 Now I’m replaying everything trying not to come across clingy, which I know ain't attractive. But seriously why do people assume every guy knows how this goes without ever having practiced?

When my buddy first went out with his now-girlfriend he said confidence was key because girls read into that like hawks spotting juicy prey miles away. Makes sense until you're standing there actually croaking 'cause nerves hit hard! What works though is genuine curiosity; someone mentioned quirky random things like 'worst job ever' or 'celebrity crush growing up.' Nerdy yes awkward much maybe depends how it lands!

Anyway feel free send those savior tips my way peeps really need some wizardry here breaking the ice ✌️ Thanks!

Sigh I will just wallow in my feelings. I dunno what to think about it.. I wanna scream and shout and I dunno. Fck.

My parents are good people but it’s just that I can’t feel that spark of familiarity with them even though they are my biological parents. And I just don’t know what to do

I used to be a happy and loving person, always smiling, always happy to work my job. But ever since gambling was introduced to my life, all of that Changed. Work has been getting hard to do, I hate seeing other people, I hate doing anything. I just want to die.

I've lost faith in God, i've lost faith in friendship, relationships, even parents. Because nothing has ever helped me.

I Know it's mostly my fault, I don't blame anyone or anything. But I'm sick of living this way.

someone please, I want to stop, Please.

I'm a 32-year-old woman who used to work at a local tavern with a bartender, Patricia, about ten years ago. Patricia now owns her own bartending LLC, which she's been running successfully for about three years. She gets hired for various events, including weddings at the venue I now manage.

I married into a family that owns a wedding venue, where I work as the office manager. My responsibilities include emailing, calling, and meeting brides frequently. I work closely with my mother-in-law (MIL), who has owned the venue for about a decade. I started in this position about a year ago. The bride in this story was a client of both our venue and Patricia’s bartending service. Brides typically hire multiple vendors for weddings, such as the venue (us), bartenders (Patricia), DJs, caterers, photographers, etc.

The Situation

When the bride booked our venue, it was before I began working there. My husband and I lived across the state for a few years before moving back in 2022, and I started working at the venue in May 2023. The bride had already toured the venue, booked it, and communicated via email with my MIL (the owner). By the time I got involved, I had never met or interacted with the bride.

In January 2024, the bride's wedding was scheduled for April 27th. Her final payment was due in January, so I sent a reminder email. A few days later, she responded, saying the wedding was canceled. We use a single business email, and we don’t have personal emails tied to the business. My MIL, who is kind and understanding, emailed back, offering to work something out if the cancellation was due to financial reasons, as it was too close to the date to rebook, and we'd lose money. The bride simply replied, "We broke up." We never heard from her again despite multiple attempts to get her to sign a cancellation form. By early March, I sent a final email stating that I would use the email chain as her cancellation notice, as per our contract. No response came. I assumed the bride was either embarrassed or just poor at communicating.

Patricia's Experience

Patricia knew I was now working at my in-laws' venue, and we were looking forward to working together again. Last week, she texted me asking if the wedding was still on for the 27th. I informed her that the bride had canceled in January and hadn’t made her final payment. Shockingly, the bride never informed Patricia of the cancellation, leaving Patricia out of money since she had prepared her staff for the wedding. Despite multiple attempts to reach the bride, Patricia received no response, which was baffling. Why would the bride ignore Patricia but cancel with us?

Five days before the wedding date, the bride finally told Patricia about the cancellation. Patricia, understandably irritated, replied that she had already found out from the venue and advised the bride to inform her vendors sooner next time to avoid potential financial losses. Upon reviewing her contract, Patricia realized there was a clause requiring only a five-day notice before canceling the bartending service. This meant the bride had deliberately waited until the last minute to notify Patricia, despite canceling the wedding nearly four months earlier. Who does that? It's cruel and inconsiderate. I'm sure other vendors also suffered financial losses because of this bride. What a jerk.

I live with six other people in a shared house, where we each have private rooms and bathrooms but use a communal kitchen. Typically, I dress very casually around the house, mainly in pajamas without a bra since I find it more comfortable and I’m not trying to impress anyone. My pajamas are loose-fitting, so nothing is noticeable unless you’re really close. When I do head to the kitchen, especially recently with the warm weather, I just throw on a simple top.

Until now, none of my housemates had taken issue with this. But lately, one of my housemate’s boyfriends, Sam, who frequently visits and hangs out with his girlfriend Kate, seems to have sparked a bit of controversy. I usually bump into them in the kitchen without any problems. However, last week something came up in our house group chat. Kate had sent out a message about feeling uneasy over people wearing 'inappropriate clothes' around Sam and emphasized that everyone should be fully dressed in communal areas. Initially, I didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just a general reminder, not directed specifically at me.

The situation escalated when Kate confronted me privately in the kitchen, expressing that Sam felt uncomfortable with the way I dressed—specifically that I wasn't wearing a bra. She indicated that ignoring her message seemed inconsiderate. I responded quite firmly, stating my freedom to wear what I feel comfortable in within my own home and highlighted that I barely interact with Sam apart from basic courtesies or small favors like reaching for high items.

The last thing I want is to stir up drama in our shared living situation. I aim to live harmoniously, but I’m puzzled if I may have mishandled the situation? Was I perhaps too confrontational?

If this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, the dynamics could be dramatically intensified for viewer engagement. Cameras following us around could pivot this into a major plotline, possibly painting me as the antagonist or victim depending on the angle. The producers might even orchestrate confessionals or tense confrontations to escalate the drama to attract more viewers, making a simple household disagreement into a sensational episode.

Was I too harsh with Kate?

Growing up, I always felt like the odd one out in my family 🧩. Even though we shared the same house, the same blood, it was like I was on the outside looking in. My parents seemed to naturally gravitate toward my siblings. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to fit into the puzzle that made up our family dynamic. They had their own way of showing love, I suppose, but somehow, it always felt like it never quite reached me. There’s this memory that sticks with me—a time when my mom was talking about my younger brother. She said, “He’s the one with a promising future.” That one line felt like a slap, subtle but sharp. It was like I was written off, as though I didn’t measure up. Why did I always feel like the scapegoat, the one who got the short end of the stick? 😔

At school, I wasn’t exactly invisible, but I wasn’t much more than a background character either. Sure, I’d get the occasional nod in the hallway or a quick “Hey” when someone passed by, but those interactions felt more like a reflex than a real connection. It’s not like I’m terrible to be around—I can crack a decent joke, I can listen, I can hold a conversation. But still, there’s this constant nagging feeling that people are just going through the motions with me. I’ve wondered—am I just not interesting enough? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I’m missing some unspoken rule, some secret code that makes people click. People always say, “You’ll find your people,” but when? I feel like I’m always just outside the circle, close but never quite inside. And honestly, it makes me wonder—am I the problem, or is it just the way things are?

Social media doesn’t help. I scroll through my feed and see picture after picture of friends hanging out, doing things I wasn’t invited to. It’s like watching a movie where you’re not part of the cast. Each post feels like a reminder that I’m not really part of the story. But to be fair, it’s not like anyone’s purposely trying to exclude me. It just sort of... happens. And I can’t help but wonder: Why does it feel like nobody really likes me? 🤔 But if I’m being honest, maybe I’m part of the reason too. Maybe I’ve built this wall around myself, out of fear or maybe frustration, and now it’s keeping everyone out. I don’t have the answers, but I can’t help but ask—do we sometimes create our own loneliness without even realizing it?

And wish it'd been an actual bicycle instead. I'm a bisexual man living in an authoritarian homophobic country. A few years ago I experienced a heart-shattering breakup, as my only soulmate and only physical relationship I've had (a girl) left me over something stupid I did (got expelled from university and hid it from her; it was more the broken trust aspect of it to her than anything). I hadn't been a very happy man before that either. All my life I've felt isolated and alienated, being bisexual, overly sensitive, overweight, nerdy, introverted, and teetotal. I grew a thick shell around me to silence my inner child/core being and reduce the sensitiveness, and it worked. But it turned out that love brings it all back out, the good and the bad.

My soulmate was the only person I've ever felt a deep connection to, who felt like someone who really understood me or at least parts of me better than anyone could. With her gone, and most of my immediate family dead to cancer, Alzheimer's, heart attacks and whatnot, I was at a complete loss. I retreated back into my shell, and it was all extinguished again, the good and the bad. My capacity for tender, genuine love - which she'd been surprised greatly by, only knowing me as the sarcastic jester - and my oversensitivity, which sometimes caused me to read too much into some poorly communicated words or actions. I was in great pain for a few months and slept a lot, until the death throes ceased, and I went back to this bland apathetic existence of a dead inside sarcastic cynic.

Until a few days ago, when it felt like some kind of other person took control of my body. I'd been noticing it for a while, the ever-increasing buildup inside of me towards homosexual attraction. While normally I was more interested in women, I'd been noticing more and more attraction to men these last years. It lasted longer than usual and felt much stronger. And finally, something within broke and gave in to the urges. I found the two biggest underground resources for gay dating that still remained in my country and posted a profile there. I knew it was stupid, with every ounce of my rationality remaining, but I couldn't help but watch from the sidelines as the other me was overtaken by the fantasy of someone replying to my profile, and me getting to kiss a boy for the first time in my life...

But of course, nothing happened. I know, I know, it's even dumber to expect results in just a few days. However, there are a few things you can't escape from. A few people left comments like "well damn" and "pfft, good luck with that". I also met a guy online who is, unlike me, young and thin and feminine, and using those same resources, he struggled to find love for years, because apparently most people just want an ONS or FWB. If he didn't have a chance, what could I possibly hope for? Look at them, so young and pretty, most of them attracted to each other. Even if some of them want genuine love, what do I bring to the table? An unemployed overweight loser with a crappy apartment, approaching 30. I felt creepy, and sick, and like an abomination. Who cares that you want to kiss a boy and hold him forever and tell him how precious and sweet he is. Who do you think you are to deserve that?

I spent the entirety of yesterday in feverish, sleepy anxiety, so reminiscent of the worst days of my depression, and eventually went to sleep early and slept for 12 hours. I felt better the next day, sleep does help, but some fear, anxiety, and disgust was still there. People who hear my story always tell me how strong I am that I carry on despite everything. Bullshit. I've never felt strong. I just have extreme thanatophobia and anhedonia, not to mention being teetotal, so it looks like I'm strong from the outside. Still alive, and not drunk in a ditch, what more could you ask for. So don't worry, dear reader. I'm not gonna go and off myself after this - Death does not deserve such a gift, and never has, especially after all it's taken from me. But I do feel a part of myself dying again. Love and desire and the desperate scream of a child who didn't get to grow up properly and who's more touch starved than a pharaoh's mummy slowly evaporating and drowning out. Come tomorrow, I will be a functioning adult again. A husk of a man in reality.

Despite this, I will continue to do what I can to improve myself, of course. I will try to shut up my anxiety attacks, clean up the most used areas of my apartment to the best of my ability, and even eat less and go at it on my newly bought exercise bike - a poor man's Ozempic called willpower, that I'd always been sorely lacking, but anhedonia makes it much easier. Maybe, just maybe, years later, when I'm yet older, I'll have a chance to try again. Maybe I'll have a better body and financial situation. I don't know if I'll want to try. I'm so fucking scared to end up like Stephen Fry and start dating again when I'm already 57 or something. And I feel sick to the bone at the cruelty of this world, for putting me in a body full of desires that can't be fulfilled and fears that can't be avoided. Whatever. Life is unfair. Come nightfall, and take it all away. Shed a tear for me, dear reader - mine have dried up a long time ago.

To preface, yes, I am still a young adult, and logically I understand that I have many years ahead of me and many more people I've yet to meet. But I can't help but feel helpless about my current situation.

In brief, I'm deeply in love with my best friend and I have been for just over 2 years now.

As for the messy details, both of us were in relationships not that long ago, both with people in our wider group of friends. I broke up with my partner partially due to not knowing if I was ready for a long term relationship, partially due to festering guilt over my feelings for this friend (which I had since before getting into that relationship). He broke up with his because they didn't feel compatible, and he is aroace and wasn't able to meet their romantic needs.

To me, he is one of the most attentive, kind, funny, and wonderful people I have ever met. I am not a people person, and even people I like drain my energy. But I feel like I need to spend time with him to recharge. Of course, nobody is flawless, I just find him absolutely irresistible. Maybe it would be easier to deal with these feelings if they were clearly unrequited, as I assumed they would be considering his identity, but this isn't exactly the case?

He doesn't really drink, and even when he does he almost never gets drunk. The first time he ever got truly drunk around me was after we were both newly single, and he told me he loved me and that he felt a way about me he'd never felt for anyone before. I didn't want to take this 100% seriously considering how drunk he was (he didn't even remember saying it!) but he repeated it again later, sober. Since then, we have become very close. In my eyes, and in the eyes of those around us, we act essentially like we are in a relationship. Yet, we don't call it that. It's 'nothing official', and he doesn't want it to be anything like that. To make it messier, neither of our exes know about this, nor do our friends in that particular circle.

It's painful and confusing; to be held through the night and cooked breakfast in the morning, to be kissed and told I'm lovely, to be told "I love you," and know there is an undertone of "Not quite in the way that you mean it." (This is something we have directly discussed and that he has told me).

I feel like I need to be loved romantically and the security of a relationship. I am also not asexual and would like sexual intimacy he has no interest in—he will do some things on request but it seems more like a service to fulfill, so I don't really ask. I know this situation is not healthy. I just don't think I can bring myself to be distant with him. The time we spend together is when I can feel the most at home in body and mind, and he's helped me feel happiness like I've never felt before. He has quickly become my rock, especially as I have recently become physically unwell quite quickly, and he's taken on burdens in looking after me with no complaints.

There is no way I'm falling out of love with this man any time soon. I'm stuck like this, swinging between euphoria of spending time with him and insecure spiralling about his identity or lack of attraction towards me. He wants things to carry on as they have been, but I don't know if I can handle that. But if I were somehow able to tear myself away I think I would feel just as much pain, if not more, mourning our closeness. I think I'm doomed either way.

TL;DR: I am in a messy, doomed situationship with my aroace best friend.

For the past several years, my wife, Anna, and I frequently discussed the possibility of me launching my own venture. I had always assumed that Anna would be part of this venture, almost like a joint entrepreneurial endeavor. However, this scenario changed dramatically when it came down to formalizing documents, where I desperately required her signatures.

Anna made her stance crystal clear, stating vehemently, “I want nothing to do with this business. It is entirely your project.” She expressed her disapproval emphatically, which took me by surprise. Consequently, I had to look for other partners to bring on board because she outright refused to be involved.

Fast forward to today, my business has taken off and is seeing significant success. Now, Anna has begun making plans on how to utilize the profits as equally as if she had been involved from the start. When I gently reminded her that the business finances were solely mine, as the accounts were in my name only and she had expressed disinterest at the beginning, she was notably upset.

Things escalated when she discovered that I had modified my will. I've decided that my share of the business and the related accounts should go to my business partners, should anything unfortunate happen to me. Anna was furious upon learning this because it meant that all she might inherit would be our prior joint assets and her own earnings, completely excluding my business assets. I reiterated her previous statements to emphasize why I made such decisions, but it only angered her more.

Although I sympathize with the challenging position this might leave Anna in if I were to pass away prematurely, I struggle with feelings of unfairness on my part. The reality that she opted out from day one, and the business success was achieved without her involvement creates a complex emotional and moral scenario. Nonetheless, am I being unreasonable here?

Imagine this situation unraveling on a reality TV show, where every nuanced emotion and financial disagreement is magnified under the public eye. The viewers would likely be split. Some might argue that marriage is a partnership, regardless of individual contributions to projects, while others might strongly side with the private arrangement and agreements made between spouses. The drama, the clear communication mishaps, and the handling of financial success would all make for compelling television, drawing in audiences eager to see how such a personal conflict is navigated in the spotlight.

I'm way past the age where I can be an angsty, rebellious teen but my fucking god dude.

I've been dealing with their abuse for half my life - they neglected me as a child and basically threw whatever toy or game I wanted whenever I bothered them too much.

To most kids that sounds fun, but try not being able to even tell your parents you love them without them looking disgusted or dismissing you.

It got worse when I got older as well, as soon as I turned 18 they begun to take my fasfa money for college from my bank account and use it towards whatever they wanted. Bills? Clothes? Yep that's what it was going towards!

Eventually they even got mad at me once when I told them I'm gonna keep the money and they started demanding it as if it was their birthright to extort their only son.

It doesn't help that they basically ruined my childhood - I learned what sex was at like age 8...because of them. And I also got a knife pointed at me once by my own mother because I was being bratty.

It didn't help that they also verbally abused me, calling me stuff such as faggot, queer, loser, cunt, fuckface, etc.

This affected my childhood and teenhood by the way, I ended up being way more quiet because I was scared that if i did something wrong or said something wrong I'd get yelled at or beaten.

It got to the point where I'd actually go entire days without speaking because I was so scared of being punished.

And now that I'm no longer a minor, I can't do anything about them.

There were several times I regret not calling CPS when I was younger when they started beating me or yelling at me, or even doing cruel things such as locking me in my room, denying me access to the bathroom whenever I got a negative grade, etc.

I've been called a disappointment and mistake more times in my life then I can count - literally only cause I never met my parent's expectations or simply because I didn't see the same ideals they had.

I'm sick of it, I moved back in with them temporarily while I'm trying to save up to move out with my boyfriend. It's been a struggle to find a job since my parents refuse to network with me, refuse to help me in the slightest, and even gave me a deadline recently that I had 2 weeks to find a job or I need to sign up "for the service."

Like are you joking? In this economy? I've been applying for jobs for 3 months straight now what fucking makes you think I can just magically wave a wand and get a fucking job?

And I'll be real with you, since this anonymous. If I ever get forced to join the service I will deadass just hang myself or something.

It doesn't help that naturally, because of my upbringing, I've hid everything from them. Every relationship I've gone through, every breakup, every bit of character development I've had in the last few years they know nothing about.

So their vision of me is literally just a hermit that sits in a room all day playing games when that couldn't be fucking farther then the truth.

Anyways thanks for listening to me rant :3

Needed to get that off my chest considering I have nowhere else to really vent too...and boy does it feel good to finally air that shit out somewhere lmfao

Growing up, I always thought being part of a group meant you’d never feel lonely. But even when I’m surrounded by people—at work, with friends, or even family gatherings—I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on the outside looking in. It’s not like anyone is outright mean or tells me I don’t belong. It’s more subtle than that, but it hurts all the same.

Take last weekend, for example. A group of friends from work decided to get together for dinner. We’ve been working on the same team for years, and I thought I was close to them. But when I showed up, it felt like I was invisible. They were laughing about inside jokes, swapping stories from a night out I wasn’t part of, and talking about upcoming plans I hadn’t even heard about. I smiled, nodded, and pretended it didn’t bother me, but by the end of the night, I couldn’t wait to leave. The ride home was the worst. All I could think about was why they hadn’t thought to include me before—or why I couldn’t seem to fit in no matter how hard I tried.

It’s the same story with my family sometimes. During holiday dinners, my siblings will chat about things they’ve done together—movie nights, road trips, little moments I wasn’t a part of. It’s not like they’re trying to exclude me, but I always end up feeling like an afterthought. Even when I try to join the conversation, it doesn’t take long before it drifts back to something I can’t relate to. I sit there, smiling politely, feeling more and more like I don’t belong.

What’s frustrating is that I’ve tried so hard to be part of things. I’ve reached out, suggested plans, and done everything I can to show that I want to be included. Sometimes it works, but more often than not, I feel like I’m forcing myself into spaces where I’m not really wanted. And that feeling of not being wanted? It’s worse than being alone.

i’ve started to wonder if it’s something about me that pushes people away. Am I too quiet? Too awkward? Or maybe I just don’t have that magnetic personality some people seem to have—the kind that draws others in effortlessly. I wish I knew the answer because, honestly, I’m tired of feeling like this.

At work, it’s even harder. I see coworkers chatting easily during breaks, planning lunch together, or sharing little moments that bring them closer. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there, trying not to look like I care too much while eating lunch alone at my desk. It’s not like I expect to be everyone’s best friend, but being left out all the time feels like a constant reminder that I’m just... different.

I try to remind myself that it’s not always personal. People get busy.. They form closer bonds with certain people for no particular reason. But logic doesn’t make the sting any less real when you’re scrolling through social media and see the photos of the dinner you weren’t invited to, the group trip you didn’t even know about, or the inside joke you’re not in on.

The worst part is how isolating it feels. You want to talk to someone about it, but how do you say, “I feel left out,” without sounding overly sensitive or needy? Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in this loop of pretending it doesn’t bother me while quietly wishing things were different.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Plenty of people have probably felt left out at one time or another. But when it happens again and again, it starts to feel like a pattern you can’t break. I keep telling myself that I need to focus on the people who do make me feel included and the moments where I genuinely belong, but it’s easier said than done.

I don’t have a neat ending to this story because it’s something I’m still figuring out. Some days, I feel hopeful—like maybe I’ll find my place, my people, and everything will click. Other days, it’s harder, and the loneliness feels heavier. But if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that belonging isn’t always about fitting perfectly into someone else’s group. Sometimes, it’s about creating your own space where you feel seen and valued.

So, here’s to figuring it out—one awkward moment, one brave step at a time. If you’ve ever felt like this, just know you’re not alone. And maybe, just maybe, the people who matter most are waiting to find us, too.

fuck the dumb government. Racism, genocide, robbery, kidnapping, transphobia, murder, all those nasty shitty things. You are right, this world is a hellscape. Just wondering, but maybe try finding any anarchic groups, because fuck the goddamn government! Kill trump! (those who wanna kill Trump , also I made the emojis yellow because I fucking hate the brown, black and white bullshit from the filthy humans, what good have we done to our Mother Earth? Too bad I'm a kid not living in USA, but if I had the chance, I'd nuke the full Earth. I'd wish the world got hit with an asteroid, and I'd die along with it. Pucci was right, the world I flawed, if he were real, he could've fixed it with the reset. But for now, let's just hope Trump dies. Stalin was right for communism! Look at Vietnam today, they're all peaceful! In fact, we need to start hope. We need a new mass group to hold protests in USA, because as of now it's the most powerful nation, to spread peace and be ruthless to those who don't chose the bad ones. We must show niceness with ruthlessness. We need to free the people of Gaza from that orange faggot. Too bad I'm a kid living elsewhere, so I can't do shit. What I can do when I'm older is advocate for equal treatment, which you hate everyone, treat them all badly. I wish I could burn the world, burn everyone, burn myself, and just...the universe would be healthy. I mean, come on, aren't my ideas good? What has kindness done, nothing! Gandhi died. Ho Chi Minh died. The British got to live like the motherfuckers they are, and now, NOW, they're only suffering, but not as much as my poor nation which has too many poor people because of their FAT ASSES SHITTING ON WHAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. if I was on Tumblr, I'd be loved. if I was in Britain, I'd join the punks and goths, who all agree with me, I'd be chain-smoking, nude-walking, berating, side-eyeing and yelling in protests about how broken the world is and how this can fix it. I'd murder Trump successfully, I'd kill those white guys who hurt those innocents in Gaza, I'd sign petitions to divide the USA into The Republic Nation and Democratia. Fucking murder ICE so badly, they should suffer the same as us, those horrible, disgusting fuckers. Fucking N*zis. You're right, this world is a hellscape. I want everyone to die except those who tell the truth like you and advocate for justice, not this demonic pieces of sh*t. Fuck

Everyone is so mean to me, like really mean!!!! I do not even understand what the hell is going on anymore?? I'm 19 and I go to uni like everyone else, I’m studying communications and marketing which is supposed to be all about people and connection and empathy and whatever, but none of these girls in my program act like they’ve even seen a human being before!!! They literally look at me like I’m dirt on their shoes, and I swear it’s just cause I’m hot. I look older than them, maybe mid-20s or something, I’ve been told that a million times at parties or events, and somehow that’s enough for these girls to start whispering and side-eyeing me??? I walk into a seminar room and it's dead silence. Dead. Like did I say something to them??? No. Never. I'm polite, I say hi, I try to make convo, but no. They just act cold as ice like I'm some alien with a disease. It's so pathetic honestly.

And yes, I have an OnlyFans, so what???? What’s the issue???? I make real money. Like more than enough to cover rent, tuition, food, and still have nice things. My content is nothing extreme, nothing illegal, nothing wild — it’s art, okay?? High-quality photography, consistent brand aesthetic, SEO optimization, smart pricing tiers, premium subscriber rewards — it’s literally textbook content marketing but with my face and body, so of course it works. But these girls act like I committed murder!!! I heard one of them saying "at least I’m not selling myself online" like?? Babe, I’m not selling myself. I’m selling a lifestyle, a vibe, a curated digital persona that pays for my goddamn bills while you’re still begging your dad to Venmo you 20 bucks for takeout. Grow up. Stop acting like I’m some kind of danger to the institution of higher education or whatever. You're just bitter.

It’s been like this since the second week of semester. First week they were fake-nice, you know? Those little “omg we should study together!” type lies. Then they all slowly ghosted me. I had one girl literally leave a group project and switch teams just cause she “didn’t feel comfortable.” Like be real, what part of me is uncomfortable??? Is it the fact I have better makeup? Is it cause I know how to dress well for my body type and don’t show up in wrinkled leggings and knock-off Crocs?? Or is it cause guys on campus actually talk to me, and it bothers you that I don’t even chase them? They come to me. They ask ME for notes. They offer ME rides. Maybe focus on why you hate yourself so much that you think someone else’s success is a personal attack. Like what even is the psychology behind that????

But whatever. I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t hurt — it really freaking does. I go home some days and just cry, cause it’s lonely out here when you’re actually doing well for yourself and no one claps for you. Like damn, I’m 19, I’m running a profitable content platform with solid monthly growth, I ace my presentations, and I still get treated like trash by basic girls who can't even spell "algorithm." 😤 But I’m not gonna stop. No way. I love how I look, I love making money, and I love the future I’m building. If you hate me for that, that says way more about you than it ever will about me. Maybe one day they’ll grow up and realize the world isn’t high school anymore. Until then, I’ll be doing me — and maybe that’s enough. Or maybe not???