Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

imagine this scenario:

a teenager, he is a student, isolated from the world around him. he longs to connect with people, but circumstances have built walls he cannot climb. his school is far away, his family rarely interacts with neighbors, and his parents, being reserved and socially withdrawn, have little connection with society. he is not allowed to leave home without permission, nor to use social media. layer upon layer, these restrictions have shaped his solitude, turning what once felt like temporary boundaries into a permanent way of life.

deep down, he wants friends. he wants to belong. but fear holds him back, fear of choosing the wrong people, of being hurt, of not fitting in. he overthinks every possible interaction until the courage to act fades away. so, despite his longing, he rarely tries. instead, he watches life from the sidelines, silently hoping someone might notice him first.

there is, however, one thing that makes him feel less alone, zubeen garg. he has known zubeen’s voice since childhood, growing up with his songs woven into the background of his days, until that voice became something deeply familiar, almost like the sound of home. to him, zubeen isn’t just a distant celebrity but someone who feels close, his voice feels familiar, comforting, almost like part of his own family. when he listens to those songs, a quiet warmth rises within him, reminding him that he is assamese, part of a culture and a crowd that come alive together in zubeen’s music. watching people sing in unison at concerts makes him feel, even from afar, that he too belongs somewhere. and it isn’t a forced attachment, he genuinely loves the music, its emotion, honesty, and life. in a world where everything else feels cold and unreachable, zubeen garg’s voice is the one familiar sound that still makes him feel at home.

he had once had a girlfriend who seemed like she had stepped right out of his imagination. shy yet confident, cute, tall, caring, honest, loyal, and genuinely in love with him without a trace of resentment or immaturity. she was everything he thought he deserved, yet he rejected himself. how could someone like him, so flawed and insecure, ever be worthy of her? in his mind, she was perfect, and he was far from it. part of him felt blessed to have had her in his life, a glimpse of what happiness could look like, and yet the same thought made him feel unbearably unlucky. he didn’t want to make her life harder or bring his own imperfections into hers, so he quietly stepped back, no messages, no calls, no meets, but it wasn’t a breakup. he told her he would meet her again someday, when he had become the person he believed she deserved. until then, he stepped away from her life, carrying both gratitude and regret. if he becomes better, he might return; if not, he will watch from afar, silently wishing her the best.

physically, he believes himself weak, and to some extent, he’s right. he always wanted to be the kind of person who’s strong, fit, and good at sports, the version of himself he wishes he could become. but every school sports day reminds him how far he is from that image. each time he falls behind, it’s not the loss that hurts most, but the feeling of failing himself. he looks at others and wonders why he can’t be like them, fast, confident, effortless. every time he comes up short, the gap between who he is and who he wants to be feels wider, and that disappointment slowly turns into self-criticism.

no one validates him. he has no one to confide in, no one to truly understand what he feels. during social events, his insecurities rise to the surface. surrounded by others, he feels invisible, as if his presence makes no difference. even laughter and conversation around him seem to happen on a frequency he can’t tune into. in those moments, he doesn’t just feel left out; he feels erased.

he often finds himself questioning his own emotions. Are they real, or just the product of overthinking? is he being foolish, or is this the long-suppressed voice of his inner child, quietly crying for attention after years of being ignored? sometimes he wonders if the pain he feels is even valid, or if he’s imagining it all. he’s trapped in a loop of doubt, because no one has ever truly listened, and he’s never been given a chance to make sense of himself in the eyes of another.

he tells himself he deserves a normal life, as if the one he lives doesn’t count as one. constant worry consumes him: what will his future look like? he knows his current habits aren’t leading him toward his goals, becoming a doctor, earning respect, finding belonging, yet he feels powerless to change them.

he sees his dreams as distant fantasies, not possibilities. that thought terrifies him. he feels unlucky, unlucky to be so isolated, unlucky to have grown up in such circumstances, with these parents, this family, this school. and yet, beneath all that hopelessness, a faint spark remains, a small, stubborn belief that maybe, one day, life could still be different.

in his quiet moments, he isn’t just lonely, he feels forgotten by the world, as though he exists on the edges of everyone else’s story.

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hello everyone, i wanted to share a part of my life with you. i’ve tried my best to express it clearly and honestly. thank you for taking the time to read, i would truly appreciate any thoughts or comments. and if any part of this story feels relatable to you, i’d love for you to share your own story too.

MY STUPID "FRIEND" IS DEATH STARING ME. HE'S BEEN DEATH STARING ME ALL DAY. IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HE WON'T TALK TO ME HE ALSO HAS TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I KILLED HIS DOG OR SOMETHING. WHAT DID I DO. WHY IS HE DEATH STARING ME.

I'm somewhat frightened by the events in my town; things aren't good. There are so many disasters, and I see a movement to support the needy, but I feel like I can't be a part of it. I certainly feel like a burden to the world in general, to everyone, and the worst part is that people see my spirit as normal. I tend to help with specific things, things no one else can, and that's how it's been so far. But when it comes to general issues, I don't appear strong, but rather weak, because I can't apply a strategy that works only for me and my specific situation; everything is based on nothing more than generalities.

Recently, while writing on Facebook, I was told that one of my posts was about an 18-year-old, so I feel like I'm reaching the right audience, the segment I want to reach, which is the adolescent one, because with younger people, literature is definitely a delicate matter. In connection with the above, I want to express that I want to contribute to the world in any way I can. Offering general solutions without considering specifics, solutions that don't fit perfectly—to put it somewhat fancifully—is something I can't do because I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm hurting someone. Besides, many of these general solutions become radically imposing, and I don't feel comfortable with them.

The girl I love right now is on her own, in a place in the world I have no access to whatsoever; in fact, she's blocked me from all sides. I feel like a complete animal because I only interact with her through what the office allows, and nothing more. I can't go any further than that, and it's not advisable either, because she's keeping her life from before me, even though we've connected. There are many details I have to consider. I like it, but I confess, here, that I'd rather not.

My boss is a real scoundrel, a shameless person who lives only to point out who's undermining him, not for any other reason than because he's completely out of touch with reality. He's someone you can't explain things to because he'll act according to his ideals; I just saw it firsthand. I feel like my life is very complicated, and I wish it were different. In fact, I don't even know what will happen now with the way we live where we do, because people are scared and are turning to experts for opinions on the events we're experiencing. But even so, all I see is an uncritical eagerness to seek opinions, a desire to have some kind of leader.

The solutions being implemented these days worry me, and it bothers me that I can't share them. I can't even message the girl I love through the office group chat, since it's only for work use. The whole environment is set up for her, providing her with guidelines to follow so she doesn't act clumsily, but always taking me into account. We both want this, but we have to consider that there's already a life built, a life constructed for certain relationships. So, all that remains is the space no one occupies: the space of the everyday, where mistakes are validated because, after all, we're dealing with people who aren't in the same group or who don't have a way of relating beyond the occasional stumble. I'd like to go further, but I can't, I shouldn't. I also have my own life, and I can't abandon it. What she has doesn't convince me to leave her, but at the same time, I feel I shouldn't because of the responsibility, because this is what I've been given. With my life and hers, we can do something; that is, there's a guarantee of care. But if it's just my life or just her, then no, because they are different paths in the face of something like the presence of the other, someone who attracts me.

I don't feel like I'm doing nothing, but I confess it's for the best. I'm not on the same wavelength as everyone else; everyone's in their own world, who knows if they're even connecting, I can't see it that way. I decided my life would be tailored to me, not according to some norm. That's why I can't count on relationships of any kind, because none of them are based on individuality, only on normality. All my life I've lived running from those who normalize; I never liked them. My father was that kind of person, and my mother even more so. That's why I can't have girlfriends, friends, or anything like that. That's why my dependence can never be based on connections, but rather on a direct embrace of the structural apparatus, which in theory should be independent of every individual, but in my town, it's not like that. My life has been a struggle for that apparatus, for it to prevail, above any notion of normality. From this I can draw a conclusion, perhaps a hasty one: People manage to socialize from a baseline of normality, and they grow closer and more distant according to the differences in their norms. I always have to be doing these tests.

I always have to be doing some form of sociology, or at least sketching out what's going on. I confess I like the field, for no other reason than to make observations about laws that can help me socialize, laws that govern above any notion of normality. So far, I've managed to create effective descriptions, but I don't know if they're applicable to every human being. It's not safe ground, and I have the grave fear of always overgeneralizing. It's my biggest nightmare. My nightmare is that someone will come along and break with everything I've done; I don't know what will happen to me if that happens. Fortunately, everything is fine, but that fear is always there. In part, it's my own projection, since I'm in different circumstances, and therefore I always manage to put myself above others. My goal is the absolute eradication of the normality on which everyone bases their lives, so that there are no advantages over me, in any way, but rather that I become a completely unknown entity to them. After all, many of those I've encountered aren't interested in leaving their normality. Fortunately, what I've done allows me to respect the worst-case scenario, which I believe is what all socialization should prepare for: the one who is a stranger and shares absolutely no sense of normalcy. It is there, I think, that the capacity of any social group to cope with life becomes evident.

The best thing I can do for my community, now that I think about it, is to be critical of the situation, since I never expected such a situation under this way of life. From this perspective, I am confronting all possible scenarios, of course, which will result in a range of general observations that allow me to establish my path toward the world in any of its possibilities. I think it's fair to say that I have succeeded. I don't feel good for those who need this kind of life and cannot live it; my situation has been a matter of luck, because the opportunity was available, but many get trapped in a social situation and don't know how to get out, they have no way out. Those are the people, especially, whom I support. They don't have to make it easy for me either; they're in trouble, and offering them any leniency would be forcing them.

So I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is a bit older. I love him for the most part and it's mostly good but I feel bored sometimes. I don't wanna do anything crazy but sometimes I'd like if he'd plan things spontaneously. Not even something elaborate or expensive but anything. He does fun things but we both tend to be busy and we only get saturdays and weekday evenings and throughout the week we'll meet briefly. Of course I've communicated it and he wants to do things and he'll talk about it but it's the actually doing it part. Also even after we spend a couple hours together Saturday I often feel bored during or afterwards and I find myself wishing we would do more. Sometimes I regret being with an older guy and I love many things about him but it kinda sucks not being able to do things that I've wanted to. And I don't want to tell him about the regret or disappointment because I don't wanna hurt him but I do tell him about the things I wish we did. I know he's focused on making money and so am I but I can't help how I feel. And I feel like I'm a shitty person for feelings these things.

honestly, i don't even know what to say anymore but here it goes: my husband is at it again, completely absorbed in his work 🤦‍♀️. it's saturday night! ya know, the night when most people are out having fun or at least enjoying each other's company... but nope, not us. once upon a time, he promised me more quality time together. where did that promise go?? it's like i'm invisible or somethin'. 😒 i'm just sittin' here alone, feelin' like a third wheel in my own marriage.

yeah yeah, i get that work is important blah blah blah 🙄 but come on! do i have to schedule an appointment just to get some freakin' attention?! he's all about deadlines and meetings and sometimes it feels like i'm living with a roommate rather than a partner. i'm literally starting to forget what fun with him feels like! isn't connection supposed to be part of the deal??

it's weird cuz during the week he's not home much either but for some reason saturdays hit different. maybe it's cuz everyone else is doing stuff and i'm just stuck here watching netflix on repeat 😂 one of my favorite lines from this show was 'love isn't something you find, love finds you.' well guess what? right now, love found someone else: his laptop.

and before anyone says 'why don't you just tell him how you feel,' trust me i've tried!!! ugh it's so frustrating! i swear i must've told him a million times 🤬 maybe he's got selective hearing for everything except work-related crap!!

anyways, thanks for listening if you've made it this far lol. wish me luck or something idk. here's hoping next weekend will actually be different... fingers crossed 🤞

My partner Isabella suffers from severe food allergies, including life-threatening allergies to shellfish and peanuts. She's also allergic to less common items like celery and soy. Often, people either don't take these allergies seriously or assume they can safely omit the allergens without considering cross-contamination, so Isabella usually brings her own food as a precaution. During our initial visit to a family dinner hosted by my mom, Isabella packed her own meal because mom implied preparing allergy-safe food might be challenging. This upset my mom initially, who felt slighted that Isabella didn't trust the meal she prepared.

Before moving closer to family, my wife and they had a great relationship. However, we re-located to be near both our families 18 months ago to maintain stronger family ties.

Following that first encounter, Isabella decided not to bring her backup meal to the next gathering, trusting my mom’s assurances. For a time, everything went well. But then one evening, my mom prepared a special dish for Isabella while the rest of us had meals containing shellfish and soy. Unfortunately, due to lapses in food preparation safety, cross-contamination occurred, and Isabella suffered an allergic reaction. Although mom apologized and acknowledged her oversight, she later voiced how burdensome it was to prepare a separate meal for Isabella, subsequently reverting to making a single, unsafe meal for everyone.

Faced with no other safe options, Isabella resumed bringing her own food, which reignited tension. After numerous discussions with the entire family, who expressed that it was unreasonable to expect my mom to accommodate one person's needs so extensively, I made the hard choice for Isabella and me to stop attending these family dinners.

This decision stirred controversy within the family, with the criticism largely directed towards me. I've made it clear that Isabella’s health is my top priority, and I can’t justify putting her at risk for an allergic reaction or make her feel excluded by having her just watch everyone else eat. Thus, avoiding these dinners seemed the only viable solution.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show. Viewers might rally behind Isabella, incensed by the apparent disregard for her health, or they might sympathize with my mom, viewing her efforts as being unappreciated. The tension and division could peak, sparking debates and social media buzz about family obligations and the realities of dietary restrictions.

If this were a poll in a reality TV show, how might people vote on our decision to stop attending family dinners?

I’ve been dating my current GF for about a year now. I do love her and we were friends for a few years before we started dating. But she recently told me that she is ace(asexual). I want to be physically intimate in that way with the person I am dating, but I thought I could give that up to stay with her.

Now that I’ve given it some more thought however if things become more serious between us then I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with a partner who isn’t physically attracted to me in that way.

But if I do break up with her I’m afraid I might lose her as a friend as well. I don’t have very many other people in my life outside of my family who I am close with, and after recently losing some close family members I am hesitant to lose another person who I care about. My GF is also going through a rough time lately and the last thing I want to do is add a breakup on top of that.

I don’t really know what to do in this situation, and I also don’t know if I’m selfish for wanting to end the relationship over this. If anyone has any advice I would very much appreciate it.

I’ve been trying to figure this out for a while now, and it’s been kinda messing with my head 🤯. So I’m 21, and until a few months ago, I really thought I was straight. Like, I dated girls, had crushes, even imagined a life with a wife and kids. Then I met this guy… and everything changed. We’ve been together for a few months now. He makes me feel seen, comfortable, and weirdly calm. It’s not some wild dramatic love story, it’s just… real. But now I’m questioning everything. Am I gay? Bi? Queer? What even is the difference between gay and queer? Does one mean attraction only to men, and the other something broader? Or is queer just a vague umbrella word?

It’s confusing when you thought your identity was fixed and then suddenly it’s like someone handed you a completely different map. I mean, I get that sexual orientation is a spectrum and not everything needs a strict label, but I can’t help feeling like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle. Like I need a word to explain who I am to myself, not just to others. Some friends told me “queer” just means not straight, and it’s more fluid. Others said it can be political or cultural too. So does that mean “gay” is more specific and narrow? I don’t want to call myself something that doesn’t fit, but I also don’t wanna stay in this limbo of uncertainty forever 🌀.

Maybe some people don’t care about labels, and I respect that. But for me, having a word that feels like mine matters. It’s like trying to wear clothes that aren’t your size — you can still wear them, but it’s uncomfortable and weird. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to call myself gay, like I haven’t earned it or something, which is probably dumb, I know 😅. But if I say I’m queer, it feels safer, softer, more open. Yet it also feels like I’m avoiding clarity. Does anyone else feel that way? Is it okay not to know exactly where you stand yet?

At the end of the day, I’m grateful. I have someone who loves me, and I love him. That’s more than I ever expected when I started this year. So even if I’m lost in all these labels and meanings, I know I’m not lost in my feelings. I just wish language didn’t make it feel like such a test. Why is it so complicated to say who you are? 🤷‍♂️ Anyway, if you’ve been through something like this or have thoughts on the difference between gay and queer, feel free to share. Maybe I’m not the only one still figuring it out. Maybe figuring it out is part of the journey.

i couldn't sleep for a year, because he left me. i still miss him sometimes. when i have a beautiful moment or day, and want to share it with him. i miss him like i miss my childhood. i won't be able to reach you, but i will remember. i hope you will be fine, i always mention you in my prayers. forgive me, my love. maybe next time

Hey there, folks. So, I'm a 31-year-old guy, and I got a little thing going on that's starting to bug me. I can't stop laughing at everything. Literally, everything. Just last week, I received a not-so-good appraisal at work. Imagine sitting there with your manager who’s all serious and in-the-zone, saying, "Steve, you just don't seem to take anything seriously," and all I can think about is whether he too smirks when he sees funny cat videos 🐱. But really, it's becoming an issue. The corporate world wants commitment and focus, and here I am, laughing my head off at the smallest things like a sitcom on a constant loop.

This wasn't always a problem. Before this job, I worked in a startup where humor was almost part of the job description. We had ping-pong tables, bean bags, and a boss who laughed louder than any comedy club crowd. But now, things are... different. 😅🫤

I'm in a structured environment where meetings use terms like "KPIs," "cross-functional synergy," and "enterprise risk management." It feels like my inclination to laugh doesn't fit the bill. My manager's talking about the fiscal year-end, and I'm biting my lip trying to suppress a chuckle thinking, "Where did my carefree emoji moment go?"

So here's my question: How can one dial down the humor radar? Some might say maturity, but does growing older mean shedding away that joyous laughter; that isn't the solution I'm looking for. I'd miss the light-hearted me. Luckily, I think there's still hope. I remember reading on some blog once, "Laughter is the best medicine, but it's about the dosage." Maybe that's the trick? Moderation. Learn to redirect when it's time to listen and laugh later.

And still, I ponder over whether I can do it. Would mediation help to calm down spontaneous giggles? Could immersing myself more in serious articles, like the economics section of the newspaper, create balance? Some say it's about training the mind, and I bet they're right. But I’m hopeful that with practice, I'll learn to contain it when necessary and still keep that lively side of me intact. After all, if we don't occasionally laugh at a good ol' meme, are we even living life to its fullest?

I struggle a lot with connection. I cant tell if people actually like me or are just pretending so I always assume a social suituation is going badly. Then I can avoid being surprised if it goes downhill.

I want freinds where everyone is comfortable with casual touches, leaning against each other, hugs, shoulder pats. But I dont know how to initiate that, most of my family are extremely touch and emotionally adverse. And while my dad is more affectionate he often doesnt register boundaries or other people's emotions.

Mum once told me that with the way she raised me I was either going to end up completely desperate for touch or completely touch adverse. She said she was happy that I was touch adverse like her... I probably should have corrected her.

Im stuck in a cycle of craving platonic intimacy but not being able to achieve it. The brief touches I get never feel like enough but I dont feel safe asking up front.

I know that a romantic relationship would probably solve my problem but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship at the moment. Theres been several times ive met guys who at 1st seem like they could be freinds but then they get too handsy and ignore boundaries I put up. Recently I had to leave a freinds party because a guy kept following me round and grabbing me by the wrist when I'd told him no. My skin felt like it was burning for hours after.

Touch can so quickly go from being amazing to being horrific as soon as I think the other person wont listen if I told them no.

Everything else in my life is great, im working towards my dream job, and ive definetly improved over the last few years. Its just such a constant want.

Current plan is to get a pet as soon as I can reasonably provide for one. It wont be exactly what I need but it'll hopefully help in some way.

Hug your freinds a bit closer today please.

I’m a freshman in high and I don’t know how to make friends. Yeah I have 2 friends who came with me from middle school but one is a soccer player that everyone knows and my other friend is my bestfriend. Don’t get me wrong I talk to her but I have few classes with her. And idk how she does it but she gets along with people and has friends here and there. We also don’t talk much after school. And trust me I text but she’s always on dnd. Walking through the hallways I always feel lonely. Seeing people in big groups, the girls who hang in the bathroom and make TikTok’s. I tried talking to people in classes but like after that classes it like they don’t talk to me anymore.. only in that class. And yes, I already tried small talk, the “you look pretty today”.. all of that. I just don’t know what’s wrong with..

i want to hit my head against a wall until my brain spills out. i'd bend over, crumpling down to the floor with a newfound lightness. my hands would reach out, towards the lump of misshapen meat on the carpet, grasping at the stem. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it would unwind in my hands, onto the floor like a spool of red thread. decorated along the pink tissue would be miniscule lines. microscopic letters; descriptions of events and people and places decipherable only by the innermost part of the self -- the heart.

and so, i would dig my fingernails in deep. deep. and deeper. deeper and deeper still. and then, my fingers would grasp the weakly pulsating bloody mass. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it'd tear out of my ribcage in a satisfying manner, with a sickly sweet squelch. blood would spill out of my concave chest and stain the white carpet. my thumbnails would find purchase in the surface of the organ, peeling it open like one would an orange, splitting open at the aorta and downwards past the purkyne tissue. inside, what is inside? i peer in. i wish i hadn't. there is no answer. none. none at all. none of this matters. i tear and tear and tear into myself for nothing. i drive a blade with practiced precision into the supple flesh of my skin in an attempt to peel it away and gain even a glimpse at the person i am within, naked and bare for none to see. there is no substance. i fall. no one hears. there is nothing to hear. for i am nothing, and everything at once. i have no substance to myself, but i mimic fragments of what others do. fragments. shards. a million glass shards when glued together don't form a mirror. engraved into my subconscious. an effort to please. to be neutral. to be perceived.

and then i receive it. an answer. an answer! at last, at last. i see it. i see it all. so clear. so clear indeed. i am a grotesque, misshapen amalgamation of everything and everyone i hold dear. a summation of everything equalling to nothing of substance. nothing of value. i know what i am.

i smile as i bleed out onto the red carpet.

I’m 13, female and I went on a website looking for someone to talk to so I could vent about my issues with my family. My family, while I love them, has flaws. My parents, even though they’re divorced, still live together in my Mom’s apartment with me and my sister. It had been a rough divorce and I’m not sure if I’m fully over it but I still have lasting things going on. My mom and dad mutter bad things about each other, mostly my dad though. Living in an apartment it’s easy to hear through the paper thin walls and his loud voice doesn’t help. I don’t know if my little sister notices or not but I hope she doesn’t. Anyway, I went on a website that was 18+ where you could talk to strangers anonymously. As expected there were a lot of weird people on there but I skipped past them and found a few good ones. I matched up with this one German guy. I live in New Jersey, USA so we’re nowhere near each other. I found it cool I could talk with someone across the world and we talked about the different countries and our lives. He told me he was 22 and I said I was 19 since the age was 18+. I probably shouldn’t have ever gone on in the first place but I was desperate for someone to listen to me. So we talked and talked. He was really nice and sweet and he listened to me and gave feedback. I told him my insecurities and he said that I was perfect the way I was and not to worry about it and let it drag me down, despite not even seeing a picture of me or anything! I felt so seen and heard. We both had cats. I had one and he had too so we talked about that and made jokes. He was funny and made me smile. So, when I started picking up on him flirting with me I was flattered but dread started to pile up. I liked the flirting, I never felt so nice like I had nothing to change or worry about. Not to mention I’m fairly socially awkward and not on the popular side in my school so while everyone started to date and experiment I lagged behind. Maybe a bit ridiculous I know but I always wanted something like true love. Or even just someone to cherish me like the guys in the books and shows.. and he gave me that. I told him I was part French but only by blood and I didn’t really know French but we still joked about it. I’m in French class so I knew a few French words and sentences so I showed him just as fun, things like how to order from a restaurant and whatnot. He said he had a thing for French girls and I couldn’t help but feel happy and the flutter in my stomach I never really felt before. The time difference was major and he had to go to sleep soon as it was very late at night, or rather early in the morning for him. I never flirted back but I did pick up on all of his. How he wished me goodnight in French, he called me hun, said specific things about comments I made that I knew he did intentionally. That problem is, I’m 13, not 19. It’s wrong and nothing will ever come of it but he doesn’t know that. I’m cat fishing him and I didn’t even mean to! I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been a genuine connection like that for so long and I feel so good around him, he said I make him smile by talking with him. But he doesn’t know I’m 13. I don’t want to let go of what we have, I’m afraid I’ll never find something like that again. I know it can never happen though. And even if I could manage to just stay on a friendly level I’m sure the feelings wouldn’t go away and it wouldn’t change the fact that I have to keep pretending to be 19. He’d find out eventually or at least get suspicious right? I couldn’t tell him, he’d be furious of course and I don’t want to lose the friendship and connection I have. I don’t know what to do now.

I'm a teen female (younger that 18) I hate it here. I'm so sick of being around people who act like they care about me but don't ever consider my feelings, my parents are so mentally draining, they say they understand how I feel but they genuinely don't. My mom said she had a "gay phase" too. It's not a phase, I've like women, and all genders since the I was young. They think its because I got exposed to things during covid and I hate it. Because it just shows how much they didn't pay attention to me as a kid (well, younger kid.) I literally had an imaginary girlfriend when I was like six and that was WAY BEFORE covid. I hate them. Mostly my dad, my mom is okay because she actually tries to hang out with me, not as much anymore but she asks me to go places with her and it shows she's atleast trying, unlike my dad who only does things for me if it benefits for him. My mom tried to tell me. "But he's picking you up from school everyday!" BARE MINIMUM. I don't want ungrateful, I know there's people who's dad's are worse but still, he doesn't even try. "He takes you to school sometimes!" Only because his physical therapy is on the way and I know he wouldn't do it if it wasn't.

Me and my mom were talking about what high-school I want to go to since it's almost the end of the year (I have 2 and a half weeks of school left) and we might go to this one school but my mom has to be at work 7:50am and we live 20-30 minutes away from her office so she can't drop me off at the bus stop, we'd have to leave way earlier than we already do. I said my dad could just drop me off and she went silent. (knowing damn well he's going to be upset about it.) She said "I'll have to talk to your dad about it." Uhm, why does he have a talk about it?

I don't know. Am I being unreasonable?