Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

People, family, friends even strangers always tell me to open up to people about my struggles. I used to oblige to it, but i always, ALWAYS feel so guilty after.

How? Well, if i vent to someone that has “worser” experiences than me (literally EVERYONE), I’ll end up feeling guilty. It’s like i’m just adding up to their problems because of them knowing i have such issues.

Im not good at comforting others either, maybe because i got so used to distracting my self or just using other means. Every time someone vents to me, i just use silliness to comfort them. Using jokes, a combination of emojis and just slang words.

It’s kind of pathetic of me to even use an anonymous website to vent all this out, i feel kinda bad for sharing, it feels weird.

Its kind of hard to explain by words, since as i said i gotten so used to just bottling my struggles up to not be a bother. But i tried my best to describe it here.

Apparently here is me and my mom, who fights for the smallest things ever. We just fought today in the clothing store because my style of fashion is way too different from hers.

I know what’s going to happen later on, she’s gonna yell at me, and tell me it’s my fault— but why? It’s not my fault that I like simple clothes, not those complex colorful designs that she tells me to wear

Right. She’s my guardian so she gets to decide who was wrong and who was right— I mean she’s always right

But how to I tell her that she was wrong this time? She’s mad for absolutely no reason

As a professional hairdresser, I recently had an experience that left both a client and me in an uneasy spot. A woman booked an appointment for her daughter with me for a haircut and dye job, even though I'm not their usual hair stylist. Their regular stylist was on vacation and someone recommended my services. The booking was for a trim and a color treatment, with the client's mother explaining over the phone that her daughter had long hair. Our receptionist affirmed that I could manage as I typically deal with clients who have up to waist-length hair. Much to my concern, due to a knee condition that's been troubling me for a while (I'm actually scheduled for surgery soon), I find it challenging to kneel, which is something necessary for handling hair longer than waist length.

The appointment day arrived and initially, I didn't realize how long the daughter’s hair was since she wore it bunched up in a bun. The mother expressed gratitude for squeezing them into my schedule and mentioned they sometimes struggle to find appointments because of her daughter’s unique hair length. As the young girl settled into my chair and released her bun, her hair cascaded down past her knees. It became immediately clear her hair exceeded the length I'm capable of handling. I consulted her about its length, and upon confirmation that it was indeed beyond what I could work with, I called over her mother to explain the situation. Despite my explanation and apology for not being able to proceed with the haircut because of its length and my physical limitation, the mother was quite frustrated.

She argued for a refund of the £50 booking fee, which our policy states as non-refundable. I brought her concerns to the salon owner, who decided to issue a refund, but also reminded me of the importance of clear communication regarding service limitations. The mother later resorted to leaving negative comments on our salon’s Facebook page, suggesting a misrepresentation of my skills in handling long hair. It certainly wasn’t a pleasant situation for anyone involved, and made me reflect on how I communicate what can and cannot be done given my current health limitations.

What would be the reaction from the public if this misunderstanding was spotlighted on a reality TV show? It would probably view differently, with audiences possibly sympathizing with both sides of the argument due to the personal, behind-the-scenes look into the challenges that both parties face. Such exposure might even allow viewers to better understand the complications involved in hairstyling that go beyond simple cuts and trims.

Am I at fault for turning away a client with extremely long hair?

To provide some context, my parents went through a tumultuous divorce and currently, they do not communicate at all. I have my own family now—married with young kids—and we live in a house that's quite a distance from my father's residence. After his remarriage, which I did not attend, relations have been strained.

The occasion in question was my young son’s birthday. To my surprise, he wanted a full-fledged party even though he just turned three. Perhaps I was naive not to expect this; I quickly put together a guest list which included my son's friends and my mother, given her proximity and ability to attend at short notice. The celebration was delightful, and my son was thrilled. I shared some moments from the party on social media.

Then came a startling message from my dad. I’d rather not reproduce the message here, but it conveyed his frustration about not being invited to familial gatherings, my absence at his wedding, and his feeling that my mom has turned me against him. He warned of unspecified 'consequences' if this continued.

Confused, especially since I had just seen him at a family gathering on his side the previous month, I explained the impracticality of having him and my mom together, given the likely conflict. I suggested meeting up on another day so he could spend some time with my son. Regarding his wedding, I shared my discomfort about attending, stressing it wasn’t personal. His mention of 'consequences' did not sit well with me—I’m financially independent and, honestly, the idea of any material loss doesn't faze me much. Being excluded from his will or inheriting debts seemed the least of my worries.

Despite my efforts to explain, the conversation looped back to his grievances. I feel caught between maintaining peace and the desire for him to have a relationship with his grandchildren.

Adding to this, if our scenario played out on a reality show, I imagine the dramatic music ramping up as tensions unfold, with close-ups on tense faces. Viewers might be split—some empathizing with the need to keep family peace, others frustrated at my dad’s lack of understanding. Comments would probably flood in about family dynamics and managing elder relationships in modern settings.

I’m grappling with the idea of whether to limit our interactions as my siblings have chosen to do. It’s a tough call when you hope your children can know their grandfather, but not at the cost of constant family tension.

How would the public react to a reality show episode featuring this family conflict?

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

I’m a 16 year old that is going through a tough time. I’m currently experiencing immense and persistent feelings if stress,guilt,frustration,shame,sadness,hopelessness,worthlessness,disgustand anger. I’m also suicidal,self loathing and experiencing low self-esteem,low self-worth, and the desire to have not been born/ exist. Most of these feelings I am experiencing because of some awful mistakes I did when I was younger especially when I was 12. The awful mistakes I made are related to sexual behavior and I feel like what I did is illegal. I am constantly being tormented by remembering these awful mistakes. I am avoidant to taking accountability because I am scared I am scared of my future, I am scared of possibly not achieving my dreams of becoming an astronomer, and I’m scared of losing ny friends and family. I feel like a fake person and a hypocrite I act completely different on the outside but on the inside it’s a completely different story. I feel the need to distance my self from everyone and cut off friends. I don’t want to pose any unnecessary harm by continuing the relationships I have with my loved ones. I feel undeserving of the friends I have and the relationships I have with my family.i don’t deserve any support I don’t deserve sympathy,empathy, or care. I feel disgusted just thinking about how my friends and family have a relationship with a disgusting person like me, and I feel like Ive ruined my life and that there is no redemption for me. I constantly create scenarios in my head of going to juvie or losing friends and family. I hate myself so much for doing those acts so much I feel like I deserve all of this pain and suffering. I don’t want to accept myself let alone consider myself a functioning member of society. I am an outcast now. I constantly ask myself “why did I do that?” “Why couldn’t I have been a normal 12 year old? “why did I have to act like an irrational animal?“ I wish I could go back in time and made better decisions. I am constantly worrying about other people’s thoughts about me too if my past mistakes were to come to life. I worry if they would be sympathetic or not. I worry if I will be disliked by others and hated. I haven’t told anyone about this irl as I am scared to have a scary conversation about it and I am scared of the situation getting worse.

I never thought I would be the kind of person to even ask myself a question like this. When I got engaged to my fiancé three years ago, I was certain. Certain that he was the right choice, that we would build a life together, that the past was just that—the past. But lately, I find myself thinking about my ex more than I want to admit. It’s not that I don’t love my fiancé. I do. He’s kind, he’s supportive, he makes me laugh even when I’m stressed out of my mind. But no matter how hard I try, there’s still this small, stubborn part of my heart that belongs to someone else. And I don't know what that says about me.

Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere. Like when a song we used to listen to together comes on the radio. Or when I pass a certain coffee shop where we spent hours just talking about everything and nothing. And then all the memories come flooding back—the good ones, the ones that make my chest ache in that bittersweet way. I start wondering if he ever thinks about me too, if he ever misses those stupid inside jokes we had or the way we used to plan our future like it was some big adventure. It's confusing, because I don’t want to go back to that relationship. It ended for good reasons. We fought too much, we wanted different things, and in the end we hurt each other more than we helped. Still, part of me misses what we were before it all fell apart.

I’ve tried to tell myself that it’s normal. That maybe everyone who’s been in love before feels this way sometimes. That just because you move on doesn’t mean you erase the love you had. But deep down, it makes me feel guilty. Like I’m betraying my fiancé without even doing anything. He deserves all of me, not a part of me that’s stuck looking backward. And the worst part is, he’s done absolutely nothing wrong. He’s patient with me, he’s honest, he loves me in a way that feels safe and steady. Maybe that’s part of the problem. My relationship with my ex was never steady—it was chaotic and passionate and sometimes toxic. But it made me feel alive in a way that calm love doesn’t always manage. And I hate that part of me still craves that mess sometimes.

There are nights when I lie awake next to my fiancé and wonder if I’m making a mistake. If maybe the reason I cant let go of my ex is because some part of me believes he was “the one” and I just let him go because it got too hard. But then I remember all the pain, all the crying, all the days I felt like I was losing myself just trying to keep him. Loving him wasn’t healthy, even if it was intense. And isn't love supposed to be more than just fire? Isn’t it supposed to be peace too? I know that rationally, but my heart... my heart still hasn’t fully caught up sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just nostalgia lying to me. Making me remember only the good parts and forget all the nights I cried myself to sleep wondering why I wasn’t enough for him. Nostalgia is a liar like that, painting the past prettier than it really was. I try to remind myself of the facts, the way he would leave me hanging for days, the way he made promises he never kept. But emotions aren't logical, and memories are trickyy. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m better off now, there’s still that ache when I think of what could’ve been, what we almost had.

I haven’t talked to my ex in a long time. Part of me wants to reach out just to see if he’s okay, but I know that’s a bad idea. I know that opening that door would only bring more confusion and hurt. So I keep my distance, for my sake and for my fiancé's. He doesn’t deserve half my heart. He deserves all of it. And maybe loving someone doesn’t always mean you’re supposed to be with them. Maybe sometimes love stays even when the person doesn’t. I guess that’s the lesson I’m still learning.

So yeah, maybe it is normal to still love your ex a little. Maybe it’s just part of being human. Love doesn’t have an off switch. But the important thing is what you do with those feelings. I choose to honor my past without letting it control my future. I choose to stay, to grow, to love the man who’s standing in front of me, not the memory of the one who left. And maybe one day, that stubborn ache will fade into something softer, something that doesn't hurt so much. Until then, I’ll keep moving forward, even when my heart sometimes wants to look back.

Hey there! I'm reaching out from this space because I really need to chat, but finding the right person to talk to... Well, it's complicated. I'm 19, and being a female in this rapidly evolving world sometimes feels like navigating through a maze with no clear exit... The desire for genuine conversation is strong, but I'm at a crossroads when it comes to whom I should open up to. Can you relate? I've tried reaching out to friends, family, even strangers on the internet, but something holds me back each time. It's as though there's this invisible barrier that stops me from pouring my heart out fully. Maybe it's the fear of judgment or maybe it's just the uncertainty of how they'll respond. 🤷‍♀️

I've always believed in the power of words, but it's puzzling how, in this digital age, we're more connected than ever, yet finding a genuine, open conversation feels so rare. "Isn't it ironic?" Every time I think about reaching out, I get flooded with what-ifs that make me retreat into my shell. But I'm determined!!! I want to open up and talk; to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who'd truly listen. The positivity lies in hope that someday, I will find that person who makes the interaction worthwhile.❤ In the meantime, the quest continues, and I'll keep searching for that special someone out there who resonates with my words, and somehow, makes sense of this journey; I hold onto the belief that every conversation has the potential to be a stepping stone towards understanding and connection.

How is the vibe here? :)

I just turned 18 and graduated high school last year and if I'm being honest about everything, I genuinely cannot see myself passing the age of 20. I still feel like I'm 12 years old about to start high school, I genuinely have nothing going for me in life, I have no friends; the ones I do have live in different states and are with their significant others, which is something I don't have. I feel like a burden for my family and they all have jobs and expect me to get one or start doing something with my life.

What can I do to change the way I feel?

Are my feelings valid? When I hesitate to give to my husband’s family. They’re not well-off, but they’re managing. We already have our own family, and his salary is small and barely enough. We still give to his family from time to time, and I agree to it, but sometimes it becomes too much.

We always argue because he always wants to help his family. I don’t really have a problem with that — it’s just that his salary is small, and we also have a baby who still needs milk. But his mom and dad sometimes ask us for money, even for things like his sibling’s school allowance.

We give when we can, so it’s not like I’m being selfish. I just don’t like it when it becomes excessive, because we’re not rich either. We argue because he thinks I’m being selfish toward his family, but of course, I’m also thinking about the fact that he already has a family of his own now — us.

And when I cry during our fights, he tells me, ‘You act like you’re the one being mistreated.’ I just want to express my emotions because I’m not used to us having serious fights.

Are my feelings valid?

I'm about to choke. It's 4:20 am right now. I'm doing homework for tomorrow and some assigments i had to turn in ages ago. I'm trying to take my mind off things because i swear i'm so close to throwing up. I'm too scared to sleep. I'm so scared of what tomorrow will be like. There are so many tests coming up all at once, and my grades are only getting worse. I'm ruining everything i've worked for and now i feel like a failure. Two years ago i was actually doing well. i though things were getting better, that i was making progress but i ruined everything. I'm trying to be better. More productive, more polite, more present, more responsible, smarter, nicer, Better. But i can't. I keep on failing. I keep on messing up. And i'm so tired. I'm always so tired recently. It's so hard to do anything. Even things i used to love doing now feel like a chore. I'm stuck. I feel like a i'm falling behind while everyone else Is moving foward and i don't know what to do.

it’s been a quiet kind of question growing louder in my head: am I transgender? I’m 25, biologically female, and for a long time, I didn’t really question that. I did what was expected — grew my hair long, wore dresses when the occasion called for it, and played the part of a girl just fine. but over time, small thoughts started piling up. I’d avoid mirrors some days, or feel oddly disconnected from my reflection. I don’t hate my body — it’s more like... indifference? like I’m occupying something that isn’t mine but also not foreign enough to fully reject. I hear people use “she” and it doesn’t sting, but it also doesn’t fit. when someone once referred to me as “they” by mistake, I felt seen in a way I didn’t even realize I craved. how weird is that?! is that enough to question everything?

I’ve been reading and listening to people’s stories — memoirs like Detransition, Baby and YouTube creators like Ty Turner and Jamie Raines — and honestly, their feelings mirror mine more than any cis woman I know. it’s not about hating femininity; it’s about not feeling entirely rooted in it. sometimes I think maybe I’m nonbinary, other days I wonder if I’d feel more like myself with a flat chest and a lower voice. it’s not dysphoria that screams — it’s more like a whisper that never shuts up. I’ve even tried visualizing a future where I transition, and surprisingly, it doesn’t feel scary or wrong. it feels calm. like breathing easier. but then I second guess myself — what if I’m just making this up? what if I’m confusing admiration with identity? ugh, does everyone go through this kind of mental gymnastics??

I haven’t talked to anyone in my real life about it yet. it feels too abstract, like I need more “proof” or clarity before bringing others in. but I know questioning is valid. I know that not being sure doesn’t make my thoughts any less real. a quote I read recently stuck with me: “You don’t have to have dysphoria to be trans. You just have to know who you are.” and I guess I’m in the middle of figuring that out. maybe this is a journey without a destination — just learning, adjusting, exploring. and for now, that feels okay 🙂 if you’ve gone through this too, how did you know? did it hit you all at once, or did it sneak up like it did for me??

i put love stories for all types of love. i think there’s something wrong with me. i wear off on people and i genuinely don’t know what part about me makes this happen but it DOES happen. people tell me just because im a teenager im overreacting but they’ve never lived my life so how should they know? i just want love. i want it so bad and as soon as i grab it it just goes away. one of my favorite shows, bojack horseman, has so many quotes that i relate to, but the one i relate to most rn is the one from the cat in the show, princess carolyn: “You know the worst part? I knew this was gonna happen, and I let myself get excited anyway.”

that’s how i feel when i finally wear off.

my kitten is named after princess carolyn n i call her pc for short

I've been butting heads with my neighbor for years, pretty much ever since I settled in here about seven years back. Recently, he's really crossed the line by taking it upon himself to saw off half the branches from my apple tree that extended over his property. He never even bothered to warn me first. That really set things off.

To make things a bit more private after losing those branches, I installed a new fence along the property line and painted only the side facing my yard. My neighbor didn’t appreciate the unfinished look on his side, so he retaliated by building a taller fence right next to mine, topping it off with a security camera aimed into my backyard.

Driven to my wit's end, I came up with a plan to disrupt his precious, but seldom used, lawn. I bought a whole barrel of dandeliane seeds and spread them across his grass under cover of night. In my haste, I didn't spread them evenly and accidentally left the empty barrel outside near my shed. It turns out those seeds flourished, transforming his lawn into a sea of dandelians.

Now, he's furious and showed up at my door, accusing me of ruining his lawn. I was careful to avoid his camera and was fully covered up during my nighttime gardening, so there's no concrete evidence it was me. He wants me to pay for the damage, but can he legally force me to cover the costs?

Imagining this feud playing out in a reality TV show, it'd probably be pretty dramatic. Cameras zooming in on the late-night seed sprinkling, dramatic music as he discovers his flower-infested lawn, cutaways to confessionals where we both vent our frustrations. Viewers would be on the edge of their seats waiting to see what happens next in the neighborhood war zone.

I’ve always had a habit of joking about myself, but lately, I’m starting to think it’s getting out of control. Self deprecating humor was kinda my thing—it made people laugh, made me seem approachable, and honestly, it helped me cover up any awkwardness. At work, it felt like the easiest way to fit in. Like, if I made fun of myself first, no one else could. “Oh yeah, I totally butchered that presentation,” or “Classic me, messing up again.” At first, it was just harmless banter, but now? It’s like I can’t say anything about myself without adding a joke at my own expense.... It's like if self deprecating at work has ruined my confidence... And the worst part? I think people have started to believe it. At first, they laughed along, but now, I catch these looks—like they’re wondering if I actually am bad at my job. Maybe they don’t trust me to handle big projects. Maybe I’ve been so good at making myself the office joke that they actually see me that way now.

The other day, I overheard two coworkers talking about me—nothing mean, but one of them said something like, “Yeah, he’s funny, but you can’t really take him seriously. He even says so himself.” That hit me way harder than it should have. I realized that all these little jokes, all the ways I downplayed myself, were actually making people see me as... less. Less competent. Less reliable. Less professional. I’d been so busy making sure no one saw me as arrogant that I accidentally convinced them I wasn’t worth much at all. And honestly, now I don’t even know if I believe in myself anymore. It’s one thing to use humor to connect with people, but it’s another thing to make yourself look incapable. And now? I feel like I’ve spent the last year making myself sound like a joke, and everyone—including me—started believing it. The weird thing is, I never even felt that insecure before. But now? Now I hear my own words playing back in my head, and they don’t feel like jokes anymore.

Now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to undo it. I wanna be taken seriously at work, but how do I suddenly stop making jokes about myself without looking like I’m trying too hard? It feels weird to just start acting confident when I’ve spent so much time making it clear I wasn’t. And the worst part? Even when I try to stop, those thoughts are still there. Like, what if I really am just average? What if they’re right? It’s like I tricked myself into seeing myself the same way I made everyone else see me. And the truth is, I don’t wanna be seen that way anymore. I know I need to change this before it completely wrecks my career, but I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I need to fake confidence until it becomes real. Maybe I need to just stop talking so much and let my work speak for itself. Or maybe, I just need to figure out how to stop believing every joke I ever made about myself.