Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

It's more of a religious conflict within myself.

I grew up Jewish... But not Jewish. My adopted family is Jewish. But I never felt Jewish. My mom was Jewish, but we only celebrated... Loosely, Hanukkah until I turned 12. Then I asked to stop cause buying and receiving gifts was too forking stressful! Also, birthdays and any gift-giving days stopped, but that's another topic for another day.

Anyway, I like to think I'm interested in all religions and no religions at the same time. It's hard to put my finger on it. I live with my cousins now, after my mom's passing. They're more Jewish than any Jewish people I lived near in my old life/old neighborhood.

I didn't know any holidays except for Hanukkah... And honestly... I still only know Hanukkah, cause there's many Jewish holidays that confuse me. All I remember is that Jewish Challah bread is so forking tasty! Cinnamon and honey challah bread is SO FORKING YUMMY🤤! And I usually HATE cinnamon... But in challah bread... Give me all of it😋!! I also like the apples and honey holiday... Cause there's apples and honey🍎🍯! I don't really like Jewish pastries... No offense to any Jewish people... Jam ain't my thing🫠.

Also, my cousin says that one of the differences between Judaism and Christianity is that Jewish people cannot be forgiven from sinning by only God. If a Jewish person sins to God, they are forgiven, cause God is understanding. But if a Jewish person sins against another fellow human, God only forgives if the person you sinned to has forgiven you. And therefore, there is no way out of saying, "I have sinned, I have shared my sin with God, he shall forgive me" even if the original sin was cause by the sinner who has done wrong by his fellow man/woman/person.

But based on Christianity, I like the easiness that it feels to feel somewhat absolved of sins based on the fact that one shares their sins with God and they themselves feel sorry. But I still like the fact that there's more restrictions on Judaism, cause it puts more responsibility on humans rather than having God shoulder everything... God's got a lot on his hypothetical shoulders man!

Also, is God in the form of a man still? Or is God an entity? Energy? Or simply a safe feeling? That guy feeling saying... Don't go into that "haunted house" or don't drink spoiled milk, even if you think it smells fine.

Some people maybe believe in multiple Gods. I also like to believe in such things, as well as the singl God that most people believe in. It also makes sense to think that God's can be it's own entity, like the clean stream, or a mighty tree that's stood for centuries! It's interesting who one would worship something that isn't forever, but super long lasting.

I also like some of the ideas of Buddhism. How there are a few Gods that make people feel safer. I personally feel the best when thinking of setting up an alter. I haven't set up one yet, cause I'm waiting to move outta the rental home. But again... I really like the 3 main Gods... And I like the God's that represent Protection, Peace, and Health. I understand that some might not understand, and that's okay... Heck... I'm just learning about Buddhism only last month! But it's fascinating!

Who says mixing different religions is wrong? I'd totally love to put different items around my home for different religions. And no disrespect... It's because I respect and admire these religions that makes me wanna partake.

I also really like the idea of believing and worshiping ancestors... Cause they've done a sh*t-ton of stuff for us to be where we are now... Why not respect them with an alter or at least a nice photograph to show respect?

I've also dabbled in spirituality. As sage, candles, and crystals also seem to make me feel a little better. Maybe not physically, but on a somewhat psychological level. The idea of safety that such actions bring. With words like "cleansing" and "positive energy". All those things factor into why I like stuff like that too.

I even enjoyed learning, but not partaking in Hispanic deities. They're fascinating! There was one... Or maybe two... I can't remember... That favored non-violent peace vs peace brought by violence. Of course they weren't as popular as the more stereotypical tough God's... But I still respect all those God's... Though personally... Human and animal sacrifices was a bit much for my liking... But hey, if it made them feel like they were safe... Who am ai to judge... Even though I personally don't condone violence.

I also liked learning about the Greek Gods and thought it would be nice to make an alter for one or two of the God's... Of course once I do more research to make sure the God's I choose got along with each other... Cause who'd wanna be worshipped with your arch nemesis😬!? I personally like Eros, since he didn't cheat or at least was able to keep it in his pants more than certain God's😑. And Psyche is also a very interesting God! Originally a human... Woo-hoo! Love wins all!! Woo-hoo! The crowd cheers!! Standing ovation for her ascent to Goddess-hood!

I don't know much about the Roman Gods, as they're very similar to the Greek Gods. And saying both Greek and Roman Gods together just confuses my sludge brain!

Also, black cats are actually good luck... According to Pagan beliefs, as well as science! Science has shown that Black cats have a better resilience in terms of survival. Unlike white cats, who usually have a bunch of medical issues. Both black and white cats are equally beautiful though. If I had the time, energy, and money, I'd get a black female cat named Yin, and a White male cat named Yang... Get it... Yin-Yang☯️!?

Anyway, overall, I think I'm in general a little confused... But very fascinated by everything.

The only thing is Cults that scare the shart outta me! But that's for another topic, and another day!

WARNING: It can be triggering for people with ED, I am not sure tho, sorry this is my first time venting to someone.

I am a 17yo and ever since I remember I hated myself and wanted to lose weight, I was one of the largest girls in class and all my friends were skinny and beautiful. Nobody has ever loved me, called me beautiful etc.. I have been trying to lose weigh since I was 10 I thinks, but I can't, idk why. I hate myself so much, I hate the feeling of my body, I want to cry when I feel my stomach while lying on the bed. I want to feel beautiful but I can't until I lose weight, but I can't lose weight and it's makes me so depressed everyday.

My friend (Roe) has recently got a girlfriend, they just started dating about a month ago. Him and I have always been really close since we met and talked almost everyday but recently he's been spending more time with her which is expected. There are some things he does though that is making me really mad and I just want to know if I'm crazy for being mad. When she (his gf) is at work or somewhere not at home the two of us will hangout and play games like we have for a while, but its becoming a thing that as soon as she gets home he disappears. We will be in the middle of a game or even just talking and he will just leave without saying anything. I tend to overthink a lot in general so I'm not sure if I should bring up how hurt this is making me feel to him because I feel like im overreacting. I know new couples tend to want to spend all of their time together and I'm happy he found someone, but I also feel like my friendship is just now being used as a placeholder for when she is not around.

In our home, we have a total of three bathrooms. The primary one is situated just outside our living area, another is linked to our master bedroom, and a small one is located in the utility hallway. Consistently, my husband chooses to use the main bathroom for his post-dinner bathroom time, typically when the house is bustling with activity. This bathroom is not just close to the living area, but it’s also equipped with the only bathtub in our home which we need to use for the kids’ baths right after dinner.

The issue here is not just that I can sometimes hear the sounds of him using the bathroom, but also the lingering odor that fills the space where the children are to be bathed right afterward. Considering we have two additional bathrooms he could use, this has become a point of contention.

Before moving into this house, the smaller bathroom in the utility hallway had been designated as the "poop bathroom" at his previous residence, complete with a special stool just for that purpose. Despite this arrangement carrying over, he now opts for the children's footstool in the main bathroom instead. Despite my numerous pleas for him to change his bathroom of choice, he brushes off my concerns, believing I am making a big deal out of nothing. He insists on the freedom to choose any bathroom, regardless of the timing or the practicality of such an action.

I find it quite inconsiderate to occupy the main bathroom right when it’s nearly time for the kids’ baths and bedtime routine. Who really wants to brush their teeth and bathe in a bathroom that’s just been used for such purposes?

Considering how he shrugs off my requests, am I wrong for continually bringing up this issue and pressing him to use one of the other bathrooms?

Imagining this scenario being discussed on a reality TV show, envision the drama and audience reaction! Viewers would likely be split, with some empathizing with my desire for cleanliness and order, while others might chuckle at what they would see as a trivial marital spat blown out of proportion. Hosts and fellow contestants might weigh in, drawing from their own experiences, making it a memorable and relatable discussion point for an episode.

Should I keep asking my husband to change bathrooms?

I keep asking myself this question every day: how to stop worrying about the future? Because honestly, I don’t have a clue. Maybe I used to, back when life felt predictable, when you went to school, got a degree, found a job, and stuck with it until retirement. But now? Now everything is changing so fast, I feel like I can’t even keep up. And it’s not my future that keeps me up at night—it’s theirs. My kids. They’re still young, still in school, but I keep thinking, what will the world look like when it’s their turn to step into it? What will jobs even look like in 15 years? We tell them to study hard, to pick a career they love, but what if those careers don’t even exist by the time they get there? What if everything we’re teaching them now is useless in a world run by AI, automation, and technology that doesn’t even exist yet? It terrifies me. Because how am I supposed to guide them when I don’t even know what’s ahead?

I see it already—companies replacing workers with algorithms, AI writing code, making art, answering customer service calls. I read articles saying entire industries will disappear, that jobs we once thought were secure won’t exist anymore. And the worst part? Nobody seems to know what will replace them. I try to imagine what my kids will do when they’re grown. Will they need a degree, or will universities be irrelevant? Will they compete with machines for work? What if no matter how smart, how hardworking they are, it won’t be enough because the rules of the game will have changed? I want to tell them that if they study, if they put in the effort, they’ll be okay. But I don’t know if that’s true. And that’s what scares me the most. I try to remind myself that every generation has faced uncertainty, that the future has always been unpredictable, that worrying won’t change anything. But the truth is, I feel powerless. I can’t stop the world from changing, and I can’t guarantee that they’ll be ready for it. All I can do is teach them how to adapt, how to think critically, how to keep learning even after school ends. Maybe that’s the answer. Maybe instead of worrying about what jobs will exist, I should focus on raising kids who can handle whatever comes. Because in the end, the future isn’t something I can control—it’s something they’ll have to navigate on their own. And maybe, just maybe, that will be enough.

My relationship with my mom has always been fraught with tension. During my teenage years, the emotional and mental abuse I endured was severe. Our arguments were a daily occurrence, propelled by her high expectations for me in both academics and sports like tennis. My effort was constantly scrutinized, and despite my diagnosis with ADD and being prescribed medication that helped me achieve straight A’s, she continued to criticize my effort level. Her controlling behavior even extended to monitoring my weight, scolding me for any gain, and sending me to various weight loss camps from a young age. One summer, she forced me into a counselor role at one of these camps, leaving me stranded when I needed transportation home after everyone else had quit.

The loss of my high school tennis coach, who was like a father figure to me, was a devastating blow during my freshman year. His unexpected death left me deeply saddened, but my mom’s insistence on maintaining perfect attendance at school prevented me from grieving. My mourning was dismissed by her as drug-related behavior, to the extent that she threatened to drug test me. Although she briefly acquiesced to group therapy, she soon pulled me out, disrupting my healing process. Her harsh words that God had taken my coach away because I didn’t value him enough are words that have scarred me deeply.

As our arguments escalated, I would often threaten to sever ties once I left for college, expressing in a letter that I didn't ever want my future children to suffer her influence. This led her to make significant improvements in her behavior. While our relationship has somewhat mended and she has shown attempts at rectifying her actions, occasional remarks and tensions still emerge during visits, though the relationship has improved markedly from my younger years.

Recently, my parents have been pressuring me about marriage and grandchildren, expressing a deep desire to become grandparents. Having been out of a relationship for three years and unsure about wanting children, my admission was met with disappointment and accusations of selfishness. My mother lamented their potential missed opportunity to be grandparents, suggesting my decision was an unfair punishment for her past behavior. Though her efforts to reform our relationship are evident, lingering feelings of resentment make me question my own desires regarding parenthood. The thought of denying her the chance to be a grandmother brings guilt, especially as it also affects my father who has been largely supportive.

It’s fascinating considering what might happen if my life were part of a reality show. Would the public sympathize with my difficult childhood and ongoing struggles, or would they judge my decisions and reluctance to forgive? Could the external pressure and audience opinions sway my personal decisions or would I hold my ground?

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting children because of my rocky past with my mom?

I feel so frustrated. I have always wanted to go abroad and study as it would allow me some freedom and let me learn stuff by myself. However, due to some familial issues I was not able to go, don’t get me wrong I am grateful that I am even getting the opportunity to study in my home country but the issue is my parents are not letting me do anything. My older sister who went abroad for her studies in her 19s was able to learn a lot of stuff and is the “pride” of the family whereas I am the loser. I am constantly reminded about how my degree will hold no importance in the global market or how I can’t do simple stuff like going to the gym because our “culture” is different. Whenever I try to bring this up to my parents that I also want to learn something like my sister I get told I still have time, that I am not going to get married any soon???? What does this even mean? I am constantly compared with my sister ( fyi my sister is absolutely on my side and always tries to help me so none of this is her fault ), I get reminded about how my degree holds no value, about how the world will not even care about the degree I hold. I was SO excited for this new phase of my life but I feel so sucked out now, I am not even studying what I wanted but I am not showing the signs that I am upset about it. Whenever I tell my mom that sometimes I get upset that I was not able to go she tells me in a harsh way that I should be grateful but then they degrade my degree?? Funny thing is I got accepted into all the universities that I applied to ( both abroad and domestic ) yet I keep getting blamed / compared to because they could not send me.

I am the 2nd youngest in a family of 6 siblings. ik i can be somewhat clumsy and forgetfull. but that doesn't make it okay for my mother to predetermine my future. i have things i like. coding, architecture, arts, musics, throw me whatever i like, i will somehow able to cram and learn. but hello???? why you're forcing me to take artificial intelligence course like ur life depended on it???? i mean, there's a lot whole of other things that i can willingly pursue?? in fact, i also excell and honestly love chemistry and physics. sure sure ai will prevail in the future etc. but i swear to god, i have wide range of interest and you gotta force me to take something out of that range????? this is a silly story honestly. but still the way my mom talk stressed me??? also the fact that she started to talk shit bout my school??? you see, i am kinda admitted into a gifted school that measures ur iq etc etc. and she's saying like "oh you're not gifted, in fact, the students in ur school are mentally unstable. that's why you're blablabla because you're exposed to them" YE I KNOW. but why you gotta phrase it like that? it pisses me off so bad bcuz some of my friends, no honestly, most of my friends have adhd, polar etc etc mental unstability. in all honesty, they're all very good friends. its just that they have radical thoughts and way of thinking. but they truly make me learn goddamn lot of things. i love them. so don't shittalk them on my face!!!!! gaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

aight thats all from me :)

You know, today has genuinely felt unreal. From waking up in the morning scrolling constantly without a signle muscle to pull me out until 10, to searching for job applications in hopes of eating away at my time in other ways, I felt like I have been aimlessly floating in this world without a single care. I currently have a girlfriend, and think about what could've been with my ex no mattter how much time passes. I feel like i'm going crazy, and I feel so dead. I don't know where to aim myself, and constantly strive to look for ways to become a better person, but the same feeling still exists deep inside of me. I also want to share that, me and my ex talked for months, and I felt like the way things ended were so quick that I was unable to gain closure, and no matter what I do, every girl for the rest of my life will be a rebound. does anyone know ways of being constantly productive. I want to live a life I can look back on, and smile at.

For over a decade, I've been married to my husband, and throughout our marriage, his parents have been a continual source of stress. Recently, their intrusive behaviors escalated. Originally living in another state, they moved closer, positioning themselves midway between us and my husband's sister, making spontaneous visits a regular occurrence. These unannounced stopovers, where they would arrive at our doorstep expecting to stay several days, have always been a major inconvenience for me.

Preparing our home for guests is no small feat, especially with children. I've asked my husband numerous times to request that his parents inform us ahead of their visits or consider staying at a hotel, but he dismisses my concerns. Since he's usually occupied with work during their stays, the bulk of host duties—and accompanying stress—falls squarely on my shoulders.

Religion adds another layer of complexity to our interactions. My in-laws are devout Christians, while I identify more loosely with my Catholic upbringing. This difference in beliefs often puts me in uncomfortable situations, especially when they insist on overt religious practices like praying before meals and engage our children in discussions about faith that I find premature and imposing.

Beyond the personal intrusions, they also depend heavily on me for technical assistance—from updating their devices to handling online forms—since they recently sold their home and moved even closer, under an hour away. Their reliance on me has grown, disrupting my schedule and personal life even further.

Fed up, I told my husband that he needs to take on more responsibility in managing his parents' needs. This led to arguments and tension, as he faced the reality of balancing work with family obligations. Recently, when his mother requested immediate help with an online bill, I set a boundary, offering to assist on a specific day. She was not pleased, and their demands continued, leading to further conflicts between my husband and me, culminating in him outrageously suggesting divorce over these disputes.

Now, imagine if my scenario were showcased on a reality show. The cameras would capture every tense interaction and dramatic family dinner. Viewers would likely be split—some empathizing with my desire for boundaries, others perhaps viewing me as unreasonable. The pressure of public opinion might even force us to address these issues more constructively, or it could escalate the drama even further. How would my husband and his parents react to the world scrutinizing their every move? Would the added visibility bring us closer to a resolution, or push us further to the brink?

I am not his parents' keeper and refuse to be treated as such. It's time for my husband and his siblings to step up and share the responsibility.

Was I wrong for setting boundaries with my in-laws?

Last night, my 62-year-old mother, Rita, gave me a call to share how her day went. She happened to mention that she stopped by Sephora to pick up a bronzer, despite her limited knowledge of makeup. Since I'm a makeup artist currently attending college in another state, I had suggested she visit Sephora for some expert assistance. At the store, she sought help from an employee who nonchalantly grabbed the nearest bronzer without considering her skin tone or needs. Confused, mom asked why he chose that particular one, to which he responded, “This is just the closest one to me.” Mom didn’t voice her disappointment to him, the store, or even to me, but I was disheartened to hear she received such careless service, especially after I advised her to go there.

If this scenario had unfolded in a reality show, it might have escalated dramatically. I could picture myself confronting the store employee on camera, calling out their lack of professionalism in front of a national audience. Such scenes often escalate quickly, possibly drawing other customers and employees into the mix, making it a pivotal, tension-filled episode.

After learning about what happened, I reached out to the company's customer service after hours to file a complaint, emphasizing the lack of thoughtful assistance my mom received. I inquired whether my complaint would affect anyone’s job status, but since I didn't specify whom, it would likely lead to a standard staff meeting about customer service at that branch. While my mom hadn't asked for this, I wanted to ensure she, and others like her, get the care they deserve. Does this make me a bad person?

Today I had a total meltdown at work and I asked to leave. I went home and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep living. How do people work normally all the time? I get so stressed and overwhelmed and breakdown. I have bad anxiety and depression so I don’t think that helps me at all. I just can’t do this anymore

I want a lover. I don't know if it's for validation that I still am lovable, but I've been craving that carefree feeling of when I had one. We weren't official, but the times we spent made me feel like I was worth it for once. Like my breaths aren't a waste of carbon dioxide. I miss being loved.

yo, i'm here for the first time here... and I have a question: why does it feel like nobody likes me?? like seriously, what's wrong with me? i'm 17 and it's freaking impossible to find people who actually want to be around me. in school, i'm just sitting there, invisible, while all these cliques and groups are laughing and having fun. i try to join, but they just look at me like i have three heads. it's not like i'm an alien or something! why is it so hard to just have someone like me for once??

so i thought, maybe school isn't for me, maybe i can find people outside of there, you know?? so i joined some sports clubs and tried to get involved. figured maybe the people there would appreciate my effort. guess what?! same damn story!!! doesn't matter if it's soccer, basketball, chess, whatever, it's like i'm cursed or something. like, what the hell am i doing wrong?? do i smell or something?!? it's like no matter where i go, i'm always the outsider. 🤦‍♂️

i keep thinking, maybe it’s my personality… but seriously, is it?!? like, I think I'm a decent person, ya know? it's not like i'm some jerk or always complaining (even though i am right now), but really... i just wanna understand why people can't seem to like me. and don’t even get me started on social media! people only like my stuff just 'cause they feel bad for me, i swear!!! it's like pity likes or something... maybe it's just better to be alone than fake liked, right?

how can people be so damn picky? are they looking for some perfect friend?? well guess what, i'm not perfect, okay! no one is. sometimes, i think that everyone’s just wearing these masks, pretending to be something they’re not, just to fit in. but maybe that's really what it takes... maybe i should just pretend to be someone i'm not to get people to like me??? sounds dumb, right??? but then again, isn't that what everyone else is doing too?!

anyways, i'm just tired of trying, you know?? i'm tired of giving my 100% and still coming up short. maybe it's just me after all… or maybe it's them. who knows?? all i know is i'm done bending over backwards for people who clearly don't appreciate it. feels like i'm just stuck in this never-ending loop of feeling unwanted. 😒 like, why don't people like me... ever??? is there something wrong with me or is the world just messed up?? ugh, questioning everything is exhausting... does anyone else feel this way too??

Context: I was with my ex-boyfriend for a little over 2 years. It was definitely rocky, especially toward the end, but the break up hurt. It hurt so bad because it was abrupt, and it was like right when I started liking him again. I became the desperate ex for like a little just trying to get back with him or at the least stay friends. It didnt work after he asked me for advice on how to date a new girl like 3 days. I blew up on him for being an asshole and he blocked me.

Fast forward about 3 months later and I started dating again. I accidently got into a serious relationship while in retrospect, defintelly still having feelings for my ex. I declined my feelings and moved forward with the new guy. Fast forward to this past summer and I cannot stop thinking about my ex. I wasnt happy in my current relationship so I didnt care to hide it. I told my current bf and said I need to reach out to him. He allowed it and things did not go well with my ex. I end up blocking him. Fast forward about 6 months and again he consumes my mind. I dont reach out as I know theres no point but I still want to.

I want so badly to be as connected as we were. He was funny, playful, cocky, but most of all real (or atleast it felt like it). Ive come to understand that I dont like him, but l miss the way I felt.

Today, I feel so empty. My current boyfriend just makes me anxious and judged. I dont love him but I want to because he is a good guy.

Yesterday I asked him, if I dissapeared, do you think I've made an impact on you. He said no. Hes told me he doesnt think I'm funny, he doesnt think Im smart, he just does not like me.

I want so badly to leave him. With college coming up, I told him I want to break up and he said no. I tried to pushback but it was still no. With me being such a coward I took his answer. I should stand on my ground but I dont.

Ive put myself in this situation and I just want advice.

I feel like I havent explained my situation the best I could and definitely left some things out. But, how do I get the ex off my mind. How do I salvage or break off this relationship.