Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

It's been two years since I lost my wife, Lily, in a tragic accident caused by a drunk driver. The pain of losing her has fragmented my life into pieces I'm still struggling to put together. My family, however, seems to remain oblivious to the depth of my grief. In fact, they never entirely embraced my marriage to Lily from the start.

In our family, there’s a tradition concerning a cherished necklace that is handed down to women upon marriage. It’s been in our family for many generations, and when Lily and I married, my grandmother entrusted it to me. This gesture was deeply meaningful as it symbolized some level of acceptance of my marriage to Lily. However, since Lily's death, my sister Emma, who always seemed to be the favored one, has set her sights on this necklace. She’s getting married soon and casually mentioned that since I am "no longer married," it should now be her turn to have it.

A recent family dinner escalated these tensions. During discussions about her upcoming wedding, Emma jokingly suggested that I should date one of her fiancé’s friends, adding insensitively that at least Lily wouldn’t be around to ‘haunt’ me. I was stunned into silence. Afterward, I expressed how hurt I was, and Emma dismissed my feelings, accusing me of being overly sensitive and urging me to "lighten up." She even suggested I entertain a fling with one of her bridesmaids who had shown interest in me during my marriage, completely disregarding my ongoing grief.

I stated plainly that I couldn’t attend her wedding if she persisted in diminishing Lily's memory and my grief. This led to a severe argument where Emma labeled me as "dramatic" and accused me of trying to ruin her wedding over a "small joke." My parents sided with her, reiterating that I should attend the wedding to support Emma and that the necklace should go to her as I was not "using it" anymore.

Since that evening, I've received unrelenting calls and messages from my parents, Emma, and her fiancé Luke, all painting me as selfish and stuck in the past. Luke even implied that I should be thankful the family has accepted me at all, given that I am gay—a remark that hints at their barely veiled tolerance rather than acceptance.

Am I really being unreasonable by considering not attending the wedding? I feel torn between standing up for my late wife's dignity and my grief, or just conforming to keep peace within the family. Sometimes I wonder how all this would be perceived if it were part of a reality show. Would spectators at home understand my pain, or would they too be swayed by the drama and the pressure of societal norms that often dictates moving on quickly from grief?

Sorry for any typos – it's tough to keep it together and typing this out after a few drinks to dull the pain of not just Lily’s absence but the rift within my family. Should I relent to keep the peace, or stand firm in honoring my late wife and my feelings? What would others do?

so, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this whole freelancing gig combined with building a SaaS platform, right? it’s honestly a mess. I’m 25, and not a developer at all, but here I am, thinking I can just roll up my sleeves, watch a few YouTube videos on how to build software with AI, and magically make it all happen; my girlfriend? yeah, she's not so supportive anymore. when I first told her I was going to dive into this thing, her eyes kinda lit up, but that faded quickly into this cold hard stare like she’s watching a train wreck in slow motion. she keeps saying things like, “you know, not everyone is cut out for this, and maybe you’re just wasting time and money.” and honestly, those words gnaw at me like a constant background static. it's amazing how someone you love can inspire both motivation and doubt at the same time. after binge-watching videos, you’d think I’d be golden; but no, it turns out that coding is like trying to learn a foreign language while climbing a mountain blindfolded! it’s not simple, it’s not intuitive, and sometimes I feel like the more I learn, the less I actually know. I keep telling myself, “there is no try, only do,” but is that even true? with everything from front-end user interfaces that need to look sleek to back-end architecture that needs to be solid, it feels like I’m trying to juggle flaming swords while blindfolded! the other day, I attempted to code this feature that I thought would be revolutionary, right? I’d been watching some tutorial on how to incorporate machine learning to analyze user behavior but when I finally tried to implement it, my code just crapped out on me; I didn’t just get an error, I got an existential crisis wrapped in a tech failure. I mean, seriously, who am I fooling? I’m sitting here staring at this screen like I’ve lost my mind, and the worst part? the more I dive into this, the more I can feel her doubts creeping in and sinking into my brain! it’s relentless! how do I prove to her—or even myself—that I can really make this work? every time I show her a little bit of progress, it’s like I can hear her inner voice saying, “great, another day wasted on a pipe dream.” but you know what? that’s the struggle of the freelancer, isn't it? constantly battling not just market competition but your inner demons and the opinions of those around you! and don’t even get me started on all the self-proclaimed “entrepreneurs” online spinning tales of their immense success one month after they started their business. do you ever wonder if some of them are just pulling a fast one on us? there has to be a good chunk of them who are just as lost as I am, right? sometimes I feel like I'm just another cog in a giant machine that’s destined to break down. I mean, come on! does anyone actually just pick up coding and have instant success? because if that’s the case, then I might need to re-evaluate my life choices! it’s not all sunshine and rainbows; it’s more like being trapped in a perpetual storm cloud that rains down self-doubt instead of water. while I keep pushing through these coding blocks and trying to keep my head above water, every notification I get seems like a reminder of how much further I am from any type of success. have you ever felt that way, where every step forward is accompanied by a hundred steps backward? do you think it’s just a psychological trick that our minds play on us? like the more you succeed, the more brutally aware you become of the uphill battle ahead? I even signed up for a few forums and groups, thinking I’d find solidarity or a little inspiration, but honestly, it seems like it’s just an echo chamber of complaints and failed projects; sure, there are success stories sprinkled in there, but a lot feel like gimmicks, you know? how do some people garner millions in funding while I’m just out here sweating over a simple AI-driven user interface? am I just a fool chasing after shadows, or can I actually turn this around?! sometimes I think I should just toss in the towel and get a 'real' job that pays the bills instead of this stressful rollercoaster ride of tech dreams and failures. it’s exhausting living on this edge of hope and despair every single day while I try to create something out of nothing. so what do I do? do I listen to my girlfriend and consider this a lost cause or do I forge ahead blindly into the chaos of the unknown, clinging to this idea that if I push hard enough, maybe, just maybe, I’ll find something worthwhile on the other side of all this mess?

i had this weird dream back a month ago and a week or two ago i got another dream with them but for some reason i felt safe in a sense. to give background info, i participate in orchestra, and while i do love it, i genuinely do think singing is a better place for me, and something i can do 90% effortlessly despite being self-taught. the first dream, i was dreaming about my orchestra teacher and apparently in the dream, i was breaking into his home with my best friend for some reason. the house was supposedly greek-themed (keep in mind, i have no idea what the house looks like nor do i want to know), and it was nighttime. i don't know nor remember why i was "breaking into" his house during the dream, but all i remember was towards the end of the dream, i believe i was harshly scolded (or somewhat beaten) while they told my friend to just leave. i feel like some other background information i could give regarding them is that they're actually a very kind person, but they're also strict on proficiency as well, for good intent. however, i get constantly embarrassed to practice at home due to my sister's criticism (i feel like it was a bit harsh, but i got tired of it to the point i would start crying) so i just stopped and tried to squish in before being tested on it. they're always available to help, but i feel quite scared doing so in case i feel i may get scolded (in the unlikely event that that happens). i just want to know what that means because a week ago or two, i had another dream with them but their orchestra room looked a lot more different, mainly that the walls were a different color but i felt like i trusted them. it's not that i don't, but i feel scared to do so. but after that, i was driving this car that i couldn't stop the pedal on nor hit the brake and ended up having to stop it somehow at a dentist's office. but they were no longer there, just this random family where i was doing this trend and somehow the son of the family got the credit for it. i wasn't upset, but i wasn't particularly happy.

i also looked on reddit and quora for some advice to see what it could mean and one user said it means that i could be looking for answers. as much as i agree with it, i feel based off myself and my orchestra teacher, i feel i'm not really seeking answers more than i'm seeking trust from who i can and can't trust to avoid putting my deepest vulnerable life stories into the wrong hands who doesn't trust me (or vice versa) nor have any care for the confidentiality of the story. i can't bring myself to see my teachers as people who do care very much outside of teaching more than i just see them as a teacher because i was afraid to get close to anyone.

so what does my follow-up dream have to do with this?

what does this truly mean then, given the background info and my hurt?

If I suddenly blinked out of existence, I know the world wouldn't change much. Life would go on for most people. The people around me wouldn't be much different if I had never existed. Someone else would be sleeping in the room I'm in. There would be someone else to fill in my empty chair. My friends would still be brave, resilient, and some would still have a tough time opening up. Even though my existence is very tiny in the grand scheme of things, I hope I have had an impact on the people around me, no matter how small. I hope I have given them something to make them smile from time to time. I hope that they remember me down the road. Even if we drift apart, I hope they still think of me every now and then. I want to be the little bit of light in someone's day that makes them believe that there is still good in the world. I want to be the type of person that others know they can come to when they need someone to give their honest opinion. I want to be someone that people can open up to without fearing judgment. I hope that my friends appreciate my quiet presence, and I hope they know that is how I show love. I hope that the people around me know how much they mean to me. I wish they knew how much I've thought about them, wanting only the best for them. Even at the expense of my own wellbeing. I want to mean something to someone. Even if it's just small compliment I have given. And it may be selfish of me, but I could die happily knowing that I had a positive impact on one person's life. I just want to know that I have meant something to someone. Then maybe I could stop telling myself that no one would notice if I was gone. Maybe then I would believe that my life hasn't been a meaningless existence.

Ive been with him for 4 years we have a 2 year old , in the relationship its he who controls and decides, since im 5-6 years younger he said i dont know about life, when we fight its always me fault, if im hurt by his actions i get screamed at for stressing him with stupid stuff. If i buy something i have to run it by him but if i dont but something i new we needed i get screamed at as well, when we fight he make me sit in front of him while he insults be and has me crying for hours , im not allowed to leave that spot or i get kicked out of our apt , sometimes he will just go off and as soon as he is done he eats or sleep then apologizes but it had gotten better since i got a better paying job , and i just go let go 2 weeks before Christmas, the first day he was supportive but buy day 4-5 he been horrible saying i ruined Christmas, he has ignored me for the last week and Christmas Eve, he just gives me nasty looks , and today Christmas, he says i should be gone that i ruined his life , i know what everyone is gonna say , Leave but i have no where , i have no family no dad no mom , i have no friends, my last friends my boyfriend said they weren’t gonna amount to anything and i had to leave him and in my jobs he tell me there not friends that there coworkers and to not share anything about our relationship even tho he come home telling his coworkers tell him to leave me . He is very money oriented , me im not i just try to push hoping money will ease his hate towards me . Any intimacy stoped when my daughter was born cause he gained so much weight that his back give out and will be bed ridden for day , also this weight gained is my fault come if we have any type of snack or bad food he will eat it cause he has no self control and is something i should already know, so here i am Christmas Day crying alone with my 2 year old while he sleeps , i dont even want to eat or sleep cause with no money comming in from my side i feel no lt entitled to anything. Also he would let me get just any job he want it something in the field i studied and geting a job in that field is really hard took me 4 months to land a for the first time.

I always thought the hardest part of my journey was behind me. All those late-night study sessions, the coffee-fueled exams, the internships, the pressure to graduate with honors—I thought once I stepped into the "real world," everything would finally make sense. But here I am, a year into my first real job, and I've never felt more lost or unmotivated in my entire life.

Back in college, I was the person everyone pointed to as the success story. The one professors used as an example, the one my friends admired. I thrived on deadlines, feedback, and clear expectations. Everything was structured, and I knew exactly how to succeed. Now, I sit at my desk, staring blankly at my laptop, wondering if this is really all there is.

When I landed this job, I was over the moon. Everyone congratulated me, told me how proud they were. I believed this would be the beginning of something amazing—a chance to finally prove myself. But the reality has been crushingly different. My work feels meaningless, just endless emails, pointless meetings, and tasks that seem disconnected from any bigger purpose. I spend most days feeling invisible, like just another cog in a machine no one cares about.

I don't think I'm lazy, or at least I never used to be. But lately, it's like all my drive just disappeared overnight. Getting out of bed feels impossible some mornings. I used to wake up excited about the day ahead, ready to tackle challenges and prove myself. Now, I hit snooze repeatedly, dreading the moment I have to log in and pretend to be engaged in work that doesn't excite me at all.

I've tried talking to friends and family about this, but most of them say things like, "Welcome to adult life," or "Everyone hates their first job." But is it really supposed to feel this empty? Is this what I've worked so hard for, just to feel drained and purposless every day?

I keep wondering if maybe I chose the wrong career, or if I was naive to believe I'd find fulfillment right away. The scary part is, I don't even know what else I would do. I've spent my entire life on this path, convinced it was the right one. And now I'm terrified that I'll always feel this way, stuck in a cycle of dread, disappointment, and total lack of motivation.

I wish I knew how to fix this, how to regain the passion and confidence I once had. Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe I need a change. All I know is that this feeling—this heavy, numb sense of "what's the point?"—isn't how I want to spend the rest of my career. I just wish someone would tell me how to get my spark back. Until then, I'm just here, drifting through days, wondering how someone who once felt unstoppable now feels so utterly unmotivated.

My fiancée, Emily, and I have been deep in wedding planning, eyeing a modest celebration towards the end of the year. It's to be an intimate affair with just around 30 guests, at a close family friend’s estate. We've taken a DIY approach to most aspects, from handmade decorations to digital invitations, all the way to buying our wedding cake from a wholesale outlet to stay within budget.

In contrast, we decided to splurge on a luxurious honeymoon as our big expense. Given this, I trusted Emily to manage the wedding dress purchase within the agreed financial limits.

I was taken aback when I learned that Emily had spent a staggering $10,000 on her gown—a dress she’ll wear just once. She justified it by saying it was the gown of her dreams and mentioned she’d agreed to what she felt was a "less glamorous" wedding at my insistence, an issue she had never raised before. While she believes she can cover the cost of the dress herself, it’s clear that our joint finances can’t take this hit without affecting other plans—specifically our elaborate honeymoon.

Realizing the gravity of our financial strain, I made the tough call to cancel the honeymoon. We had booked through a travel agency with insurance, losing only $250 each as cancellation fees—an amount that would have skyrocketed had we delayed our decision any further.

Emily’s reaction to the honeymoon cancellation was fierce; she accused me of making unilateral decisions and threatened to go alone. This dispute has since blown up with her family and friends criticising me heavily, whereas my own circle supports my actions. Amidst this turmoil, I can’t help but question: Am I in the wrong here?

Given she was unyieldingly firm about her overspend on the dress, and refused to discuss alternatives, it felt like we had no other options left. We originally planned to put the honeymoon expenses on our credit card for reward points, but spending $10,000 literally drained Emily’s savings, leaving inadequate funds and pushing us towards living off our monthly earnings with looming credit card bills.

Anticipating additional costs from the wedding only compounds our financial pressures. The strain of potentially accruitting debt from the honeymoon doesn't just vanish with our impending nuptials—it's a looming stress over our newlywed lives.

If our story were showcased on reality TV, how would the audience perceive it? Given the divisive opinions among our friends and family, the viewers might be equally split. Some might empathize with my rationale to secure financial stability, while others could argue that the emotional significance of a dream dress and a honeymoon shouldn’t be overlooked, viewing my decision as harsh.

My husband, Ted, and I co-own a charming lake house on the shores of Lake Michigan. This place, while jointly ours now, was initially Ted's before we exchanged vows, a detail that becomes significant as this story unfolds. My sister, Eliza, has had the privilege of using our lakeside retreat since Ted and I began our romance. Eliza has always been the exemplary guest—tidy, respectful, and meticulously careful to leave the house in impeccable condition.

However, Eliza's relationship dynamics shifted when she started seeing her current boyfriend, Dave, around a year ago. Unlike Eliza, Dave lacks appreciation for cleanliness and order. Dirty dishes, empty drink containers, and miscellaneous messes seem to trail behind him, and he invariably relies on Eliza to tidy up after him. Dave also shares custody of two vibrant youngsters from a previous relationship, but places the majority of caregiving and housekeeping duties on Eliza, despite the children being his responsibility. Moreover, I've witnessed him demand Eliza fetch him a beer while she's busy, which leaves me worried about how he might treat her when we're not present to see. Given how chaotic their living situation sounds, due to Eliza's demanding 60-hour workweeks, I’m baffled yet touched by how deeply Eliza seems to adore Dave. She speaks of him with shining eyes and a voice filled with affection, as if he were her entire world.

Given this backdrop, when Eliza asked if they could use the lake house recently, I hesitated but eventually agreed, thinking, "What’s the worst that could happen?" Ted and I had plans to visit the house anyway, arriving a few days after them, which meant our paths would briefly intersect.

Upon our arrival, the scene was disastrous. The stench of decayed food hit us first. A mound of unwashed dishes occupied the sink, the floors were sticky, and crayon artworks adorned the walls. Walking into the living room, we found Eliza frantically trying to manage the chaos, while Dave sat passively, beer in hand. I couldn’t hold back; I snatched the beer from his grasp and confronted him about the mess. His indifferent shrug and insistence that one person’s efforts were sufficient infuriated me further. Outraged, I demanded that Dave and his children pack up and leave within the hour, threatening to involve the police if necessary. Ted supported my stance, dismissing Dave's glance for backup.

Eliza was visibly hurt by my actions, arguing that I had ruined their peaceful getaway and dismissed simpler solutions to the issue. She claimed I had no right to the house as I hadn’t purchased it myself. I countered that Ted, the rightful owner, backed me up. In the emotionally charged moment, Eliza decided to leave with Dave.

That evening, a heated phone call from my mother questioned my decision to expel them. She urged me to embrace new family members despite differing lifestyles. Now, with my mother displeased and Eliza avoiding my calls, I'm left pondering if I might have been too harsh.

Imagine how this story would unfold in a reality show environment! Cameras capturing every dramatic moment, the audience watching Ted and I arriving at the chaotic scene, and the intense confrontation that followed. Would viewers rally behind our demand for respect and cleanliness, or would they criticize us for lacking empathy and flexibility?

Work was a little bit better today, yet I can’t see how some people think I can do everything when I’m trying to do one at a time. I know they say you can’t be in two places at once but it feels like they think I can. I know my coworkers are trying to bass especially the last few months but with summer coming in everyone’s going crazy I don’t know how I can last. Plus I don’t know if my coworkers are thinking right I’m doing what they want me to do but at the same time They are not doing much either. I’m not saying they’re their work clothes too much for them but when you have people thinking you can do everything for you it does not help. I might be whining a bit, but that’s how I feel right now.

I’m turning 40 this year! Hubby said he would love to do something nice for me but doesn’t know how and asked for my help. I like to think he wants me to choose a venue and he can take it from there, maybe? Or how much help does he need? How much of this will I be planning? I would like it to be from him; idc if it’s a surprise party or not. We have a good relationship but I wonder how much he really knows me. I told him to ask my girlfriends for help. But we do have this relationship rule where we don’t text or talk to people of the opposite sex alone without the other CCd or around in person. Fair enough. So how can I encourage him to do this on his own? For the big 4-0, I don’t want to have to be involved unless asked “which flavor cake would you like?” Lol

For his 40th, I asked my party planning friends for help. I’m not super creative but they helped me narrow down some ideas and we pulled off a nice get-together with some friends and family. No biggie. We aren’t ones for huge Hollywood-style shindigs. I’m not asking for anything big. It just really bothered me he is asking ME for help to plan MY birthday. How can I respond to him without sounding like a spoiled brat?

i think theres something thats sets me apart from everyone, and its how im calculating theres a trend of life getting worse (example ram crisis, food costs, goverments being asshole) and how i dont have a family as i have issues with them i that cant fix, and im imagining there all saying the same thing, i dont matter, if i die im easily replaced, theres 8bn of us here, all cows to be milked out of, i dont wanna be milked, i feel like just not taking life too seriously and im not supposed to do that, why take it seriously when u can just have ur fun and leave with those memories, maybe with friends play some game or go out at night idk, since u know u cant improve much or make a good life, why try hard when it doesnt pay off, i dont understand it, im either missing something or calculating something completely different to u guys

Hi. I dont exactly know how to do this, but i really wanted to get this off my chest, so that i can put my focus on fixing myself, instead of carrying around all this baggage. Im not very good with english commas and stuff, as its a second language, so i appologize.

Ok, so i have a Sister. My relationship with her is very complicated. My main problem is that i get angry far too quickly. She could do the most midly annoying thing ever, and i would lose my head and lash out. This is obviously not right, and i need to control myself.

This anger stems from her and I having a lot of issues with one another growing up. The problem is, i can never pinpoint exactly one thing or a few specific things that i dislike her for. I just KNOW, its unforgivable. So i lash out at the drop of a hat, and can end up getting physically violent, which, at the moment of the outburst feels justified, but i know afterwards that i was in the wrong.

Our father is also a terrible person. He has crazy outbursts of anger too, and i despise him for it. Which i why i NEED to fix my anger issues, because there is nothing in this world i hate more than a hypocrite. Which he, unsuprisingly, is.

My mother on the other hand is the gentlest person ever. She is kind, tolerant, never raises her voice, and i look so much up to her. I want to be like that. People like my father hurt people, and end up alone. People like my mother can make others feel like the only ones who matter in the entire world, and i want to be that for other people. If only i could get a hold of myself.

Now, my sister is not a bad person. Because of my fathers anger issues, i KNOW she suffers too. As her older sibling Its my job to protect her, but i keep FAILING at it by lashing out exactly like he does. She has to deal with both of us, and the guilt of it eats me alive. But its not like feeling guilty is going to absolve me of my actions. You know the quote: A dog that howls after a kill is no better than the dog that eats. My guilt means nothing.

My sister deals with his anger by being rebellious. She drifts away, has little care for other people, acts disrespectfully and so on. I suppose thats one reason i hate her, but can i really allow myself that? It feels selfish of me. She also has developed a very nasty personality. And i know that word is harsh, but heres what i mean: She revels in putting people down. She constantly stops people from improving themselves by making them feel stupid for even trying. Basically, shes emotionally toxic. In all her relationships, platonic and familial. And I cant be mad at her over that. At least not when she does it to me. Because im worse. I lash out. And that will always be worse. What shes doing, is setting up defenses. Because if she tears people down, she wont be torn apart herself.

The funny thing is, this is also something my father does. Tears people down. Its like me and my sister are two halves of the same awful man. Maybe thats why we hate eachother.

Talking about out father. I do think my sister resents me. See, our mother treats her kids equally. Our father however has me as his favourite. Its obvious, because he barely tolerates my mother, my brother and my sister. Hes said it out loud too. That he only stays for me. So that means his outbursts are directed towards them, while i get off scott free. This doesnt mean he loves me. Ive sides with them, and every time i do, he lashes out at me too. However for some reason he always "forgives" me the easiest. I feel dirty.

Now, i didnt ask for this favouritism. I hate the way he treats my mother, brother and sister, because i love them. But i cant blame her for resenting me. After all, it does feel like the golden child masqurading as a good person doesnt it? I feel selfish and awful.

Even more so when i lash out. Because how could i not? Im acting like he does! And i need help managing my anger. Now some of you may say, well apologize then. The thing is, thats what my father does after his lash outs. He apologizes in this sweet voice, and if i started doing the same to my sister, she would be like a lamb trapped between two wolves, and i cant do that to her. I want to improve my actions before, you know, using my words. It would give her the wrong idea otherwise. I dont want to set her up for abuse in her future.

Although it does sometimes feel as though our relationship with eachother is now irrepearable. Ive ruined it, and it would be selfish of me to expect her to trust me again.

And my greatest fear, is that this is the same thought process HE goes through. What if he also feels this immense guilt after lashing out too? What if he tries and fails at managing his anger? I dont let these thoughts out to the ones close to me, like my mother, brother or sister, because i would feel selfish for garnering sympathy. Are we not the same then, he and I? I dont want that! I want to actually change, to actually start managing my anger and not be soo... weak. You know?

I want to be better for the people i love. So i REALLY need tips to manage my anger. I always feel like im in a dream like comatose state after lashing out. Like as if that was another person, and now i have to deal with their mistakes. I could really use some tips, some help. This post had to be made, so i could get it off my chest and focus on improving. I dont want to feel and act crazy anymore. I want to be better. And i need to put in the effort.

Thank you.

Ok so just now i found out that my sister has been self harming with blades and cutting herself not on the veins but on her hand where she won't bleed out to death and i was really shocked because i knew about it before and i didn't take it as serious because she was going through breakup and all and i didn't knew that she was continuously harming herself and i teared up because she is only 15 she shouldn't hae to go through this. Now i am the only one who knows and it hurts so bad i am crying rn literally as i write this . I don't know i asked her why would she do this she said 'my dad won't talk to me properly' and somr thing the thing is if i tell anyone else idk how they will react and talk about trusted adults there are none they would either scold her or do something to her only. I seriously don't know what to do and i cannot tell this to anyone i just told her if she wants to self harm next time pls call me so that i can prevent it . It is really messed up , our family does not believe in therapy and if i tell any adult they would just judge her and say mean things something like that .

I adore my wife, Emily. She's the epitome of both beauty and brains, teaching high school English and Social Studies with a passion for literature that is nearly unmatched. Her enthusiasm for novels is contagious, often juggling several reads simultaneously.

Nonetheless, Emily's ability to keep up with film plots is, amusingly, non-existent—unless the film revolves around a cliché storyline involving a big-city lawyer going back to her roots only to fall in love with her past. This peculiar quirk of hers has been an amusement in our marriage for as long as I can remember.

Back when we were dating, we decided to watch "The Matrix." Throughout the movie, Emily's bewildering questions challenged my perception of her understanding complex narratives. It was the same with "The Usual Suspects"; despite the plot being laid out clearly, she missed the twist at the end.

Recently, during a double date night with her sister and brother-in-law, her sister proposed we watch "Shutter Island," a film rife with psychological twists. I attempted to sway the group towards a less intricate movie—anything that wouldn't leave Emily puzzled. But the consensus was firm, and as anticipated, Emily struggled with the plot, much to the bemused glances of our guests.

Trying to save the evening, I whispered to Emily that I'd explain later, but this only seemed to frustrate her. After everyone left, she confronted me, feeling cornered into watching only simplistic narratives. Emily argued she wasn't naive, just not particularly focused when it came to films. She even recounted several novel plots to emphasize her point. In response, I reassured her of her intellectual prowess, which far exceeded mine. Yet, she still felt slighted that we didn't watch more engaging films together.

Compromising, we watched "Memento" the next day. Needless to say, she spent the evening piecing together the storyline, even resorting to reading the plot on Wikipedia to keep up.

Is it unfair of me to avoid complex movies for the sake of our shared movie nights?

If our situation unfolded on a reality show, the audience would probably be split. Some might sympathize with Emily's struggle to grasp movie plots, finding the humor in our interactions. Others might criticize me for not challenging her more or for not offering better support during our viewings. Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, often highlighting them for entertainment value.

Did I handle our movie selection poorly?

I used to be in a very big depression slump, it was very long. Lasted a span of 4 years at least. It started as deeply emotional. I was very sensitive and fragile to put it simply. But that later changed into hate and resentment. I am the oldest daughter in a traditional household. So when my parents started their seperation I was stressed about trying to makesure everyone was taken care of. But then I started to hate my family, hate how much they needed me for the house to be clean and for the kids to bed fed, and clean, and presentable for school. Until my younger brother started to show signs of depression too. It kind of snapped me out of it. Like it tore me in two that my little brother could feel like his life wasnt valuable the same way I saw my life. Fastforward I no longer feel that towards him. Im not so sure if hes still depressed but he is doing nothing with his life and it frustrates me deeply. He skips school and plays video games all day or watches videos. He has a GPA of 0 and is going to be a junior this year. This angers me. He didnt have all the responsibilies I had pushed on me growing up. While I had to literally physically move away from my family to focus on school and take many recovery classes to graduate on time. I guess the main cause of this resentment is that my mom tried talking with me about his mental health and trying to find a reason why he is this way. But when I was depressed I was just being a dirty and lazy kid that was making everything harder on her. I feel like I have regressed emotionally. I feel I used to have a lot more empathy than other but now I can only focus on how I feel in situations that cause me emotional distress. I didnt use to be this way. I dont know how to fix this empathy problem I have developed. I feel selfish and evil and filled with hate an resentment towards everyone and everything. Does anyone have some insight in how I can change this? I dont like living this way.