Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

dunno who else to turn to for this, so hello online community!

let's call this friend H. i consider H a very close friend of mine. we've both been in the same boarding school, and i've been friends with her for the past 3 years. we always get roomed together so that's how we eventually started bonding. but she gets in these emotional moods sometimes and tends to take her feelings out on me.

it ranges from getting mad at me for the littlest things to full on ghosting me for days straight. the most recent one was, honestly, partially my fault, but in my opinion i didn't even do anything that bad. so we were the only ones in our dorm bathroom at the time, along with two of our other friends. it was late at night and H wanted to take a shower. i wanted to scare her and pretended like my friends and i left the bathroom, so we all stayed quiet while she was showering. she did call out to us multiple times, but she was laughing and giggling so i assumed that H knew that we were still in the bathroom and was playing along with the joke.

when H opened the shower door, she was still laughing with us. it was only until we entered the dorm that she suddenly started crying, putting on her clothes aggressively and then leaving, slamming the door shut. H called her mom right after that using a public phone and began to complain and rant about my 'terrifying' joke. we haven't spoken since, because i'm not going to apologize over something that was supposed to be a joke.

other than this, H has also snapped at me at random times, and by snapping, i mean screaming at me, shouting at me, randomly crying and telling me that i was 'bullying her' even though all i did was joke about how she sometimes slept too late at night or stayed in the shower for too long. perhaps my jokes were a bit mean, but i think H didn't need to yell about how i was 'such a bitch' and how she hated me for bullying her in front of all our friends just because i commented that she woke up late that morning. if H was really bothered with my jokes, why didn't she talk to me about it instead of screaming at me for it? H also confuses me because one day, she'll join in on the jokes and laughs along too, or makes a joke about me in return (which i don't mind, of course) but the day after that she'd be telling me that i'm a terrible friend for joking about her.

not only that, H complained to all my other friends about how 'mean' i was being, and 'cried' to them (it's not really crying because there's no tears coming out of her eyes but she makes weird sobbing sounds, so) about all my cruel and evil 'jokes'. i'm tired of being her villain. H knows i have issues with arguments that involve screaming because i had a bad childhood and i prefer arguments being settled through talking and communication rather than shouting, but she still yells and screams at me and doesn't apologize when i tell her it makes me scared and i want her to communicate in a calmer way. i also have issues with tone, and i have a hard time trying to figure out her emotions and stuff, so it really makes me feel sad when she accuses me of not trying harder to understand her.

her anger issues have taken such a toll on me for the past years we've been friends. i don't know how to tell her about my feelings without ticking her off and making her cry. i don't want to seem like more of a bad person to all our other friends, and i'm tired of being her scapegoat all the time. i'm so done with her just giving me the silent treatment without even trying to talk to me about what i did that made her angry. i'm so done with her just snapping at me angrily and not apologizing for it while i have had to apologize to her thousands of times for a small, petty joke. i don't know what else to do. i don't want to lose our friendship but i also feel like if this goes on for any longer i might go crazy lol

yo fr i hate working. like i kno some ppl say that but nah i really mean it. every job i ever had or tried to have just made me wanna quit life. school already drains me enough, sittin in a class all day hearing stuff i don’t even care about and then ppl expect me to go flip burgers or stock shelves after?? nah bro, miss me with that. i aint lazy lazy like i’ll do stuff if i have to, but if i can avoid doin too much, best believe i’m gonna. the thing is i still need money tho, like i wanna buy stuff, get snacks, maybe save up for a used car or whatever, but i don’t wanna work my butt off 8 hours a day for it. that’s why i been tryna find jobs for people like me—people who hate working. not even being dramatic here, just bein real.

i been looking at stuff online and some jobs don’t seem that bad if u just wanna chill. like night shift security guard? sounds kinda perfect. u just sit there most the time, watch cameras, maybe walk around once or twice, but mostly ur alone and no one bothers u. plus it’s dark and quiet which is way better than loud annoying customers. another one i saw is library assistant or something. u just sort books and tell people to be quiet basically, which is kinda my vibe not gonna lie. nobody expects u to go fast, it’s all slow paced and peaceful. also heard about dog walking or pet sitting, and that honestly sounds fun. dogs don’t talk back, they don’t judge u, and if u walk like 3-4 dogs a day u can get paid decently. only downside is cleaning up poop, but honestly i’ll take that over dealing with rude customers anyday. and some ppl even make money just posting vids online or streaming games. i aint famous or anything but if they can do it maybe i can too one day idk.

i just wish ppl would stop acting like u gotta love working or have some big dream job. like nah man some of us just wanna chill, not hate our lives every morning. i see adults working like crazy, gettin burned out and miserable and i’m like yeah… no thanks. if i can find a way to survive without going insane, that’s enough for me. maybe one day i’ll find something i don’t mind doing, maybe not, but for now i’m just tryna figure out how to get paid without killin my soul in the process. nd if that means takin the lazy route, then so be it. not everyone’s built to grind 24/7, some of us just tryna stay afloat with the least amount of effort possible. and that’s okay.

my name is miriam and im almost 12. my parents are divorced and they can't agree on anything. im Jewish and my mom wants me to have a bat mitzvah at 13 and my dad wants me to have a bat mitzvah at 12. and none of them are willing to be flexible so now i'll have to study twice as hard. like this is supposed to be my breaking point, the end of my childhood, but what's the point if you have to do it all over again? and lately I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts because of family problems (ill go into that another time) so i don't really know what to do atp

Hi, hope that you're ok and holding it together to the best of your ability.

This is just a quick vent. Understandably, these are feelings that would just be temporary, I get that. However, there is clearly some challenge here that requires solutions.

I am trying to move out but that is proving quite an issue on several accounts: 1) I am in the country with the highest unemployment figures in the world. We have students with Masters Engineering qualifications unable to find work, 2) Moving out is not a priority in my house, in my opinion, 3) I am expected to work around everyone else's schedule, which cuts into my hours for job hunting, international scholarship applications, 4) You're seen basically like a traitor if you won't comply in that regard, but everyone else is allowed to be lazy and have their own hours for doing what they want.

There are other reasons but I feel these are the main ones worth highlighting.

I just feel trapped and unheard. I am confronting this issue with them today. However, there is still that fear that I would be ostracised. I feel a tad miserable because of this.

I hope this doesnt sound too messy because my writing is honestly terrible, but I wanted to share this little story in case anyone reading ever wondered about the signs your family doesnt care about you, or at least seems like they dont. Im 17 and a girl, and Ive kinda grown up watching my parents circle around my brothers like planets around a sun, while Im some tiny moon they forget is even there. They go to every football match my brothers play, even when its freezing outside or when the team always loses. They cheer so loud I swear the field shakes. When one of them gets an A on a test, my mom tells the whole family group chat and my dad claps him on the shoulder like he just won a Nobel Prize. When I get good grades, they say OK and go back to whatever they were doing. I dont think theyre trying to be mean, they just forget me, like that quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower where it says we accept the love we think we deserve, and sometimes I wonder if I just accepted this whole situation without thinking too much. And maybe thats why Im telling this politely, because staying polite feels like the only way I stay steady;

Anyway I keep trying to stay objective about it, because I know teenagers can exagerate things and I dont want to sound like Im throwing a fit. Its just facts. They barely talk to me unless they need me to do a chore. They never ask me about my intersts, like school clubs or the small art projects I do. I once tried to show my mom a drawing I worked on for two weeks, and she said Mhmm while scrolling on her phone. If one of my brothers had drawn literally anything, even a stick figure, it would of gotten a photo framed in the living room. Still I keep telling myself maybe they dont realize how it feels from my side. Maybe they grew up in familys where girls stayed quiet or maybe they think Im independant and dont need them. I stay polite because whats the point of fighting. Its better to observe everything like Im some researcher taking notes on a family I dont totally belong in. Detatchment feels safer. But even with that detatchment Im hopeful. I think one day someone will care to ask about my life the same way they ask my brothers.

The weird thing is how normal it all feels now, even tho I know deep down it shouldnt. Sometimes I sit in my room and wander, Would anyone notice if I just stopped trying. Not in a dramatic way just a logical question. And I bet you if someone reading this has felt like the shadow sibling youv wondered it too. I remember one time my English teacher complimented an essay I wrote telling me I had clear potential and my first instinct was to laugh because no one at home has ever used the word potential about me. I quoted her in my journal because it felt so strnage yet so nice. Im not saying my parents are villians or anything like that. Theyre polite people themselfs and I know they love us in their own way. They just show it unevenly like someone pouring water into two cups and missing the third. And thats okay. Cups can be refilled someday by someone else or maybe by ourselves. Im trying to beleive that honestly.

So I guess all this is just me asking gently have you ever felt invisible in your own house. And if yes how did you figure out that it wasnt your fault. I try to stay hopeful because Ive read so many storys yes I know sounds cheesy where people grow up and finally meet friends or mentors or partners who see them and cheer for them the way their family never did. Maybe that will be me too. I want to keep a positive tone because life isnt over at 17 not even close and maybe this whole weird upbringing will make me appreciate real attention when it finally comes. Im staying polite staying patient and staying open to the idea that things can still change. And if they dont at least Ill know I tried to understand it instead of letting it crush me. Maybe thats the real sign that I care about myself even if my family sometimes forgets to show that they do.

I don't really know how to start but i remember when u first added me back on tiktok, the excitement was something I've never felt before but i convinced myself to calm down and that you probably like all other teenage boys as i did talk to guys that i didn't have good experiences with early months of the year (February, March and April) it was November 12 when i started talking to you but after a few days i caught myself smiling and staying up to your texts we even had an ongoing streak on tiktok because you were a guy i could genuinely open up to without it being weird and we had a lot of similar song and drama interests, its been so long since a actually liked someone like this and it felt so nice. And a few days later you reposted tiktoks about liking someone as i thought it was about me because you only started reposting those AFTER we started talking but i clearly took it as a wrong sign. Exactly 3 weeks Later December 3rd i sent you a paragraph of how i felt but you told me you liked someone else so clearly i mistook your kindness the wrong way. After you sent me that Paragraph I ended up only hearting your message which ended up being our last conversation with eachother on Instagram. Its been 3 weeks 24th December and I'm still stuck here going back to your account stalking your reposts about her and i even found her account and she's honestly so pretty And you guys comment on eachothers tiktoks which i used to do on your tiktoks and you guys deserve each other 2 attractive people together. I can't even block you because we ended on good terms as friends but we never even texted after that. I just wanted to say i miss you Jayden even if we texted as friends..

In 2019 I met this friend online on a game and sometime in 2020 they cut me off but then came back to me in 2022 and then in 2023 cut me off again but now they are back again and I am so worried that if I say the wrong thing that it will be another repeat year of me getting attached and then hurt when they cut me off. They say they arent as unstable but sometimes they make a comment or two that I have to bite my tongue so I dont upset them it also probably doesnt help that we are both autistic. Im really hoping that this time is the time we keep a friendship so we dont have to go through a big fight and then apologies next year. One last thing am I dumb for being hopeful this time or is it normal to be hopeful after giving someone so many chances?

A few nights back, I invited two of my good friends over for a sleepover. Both are the same age as me, and we planned to end the evening with some classic movie watching and unwinding. As the night drew to a close, and we began removing our makeup, I suggested they explore and use any of the skincare items from my well-stocked bathroom cabinet. I'm a skincare enthusiast and have a wide collection ranging from inexpensive brands to pricier, high-end products.

Shortly after, my friend Emily came out of the bathroom looking uneasy, and confessed she had accidentally dropped and shattered one of my top-shelf skincare bottles. It happened to be my SK II Pitera Essence, which cost me about $134 CAD. It's housed in a delicate glass bottle and was nearly full as I had purchased it just weeks before.

Immediately apologizing, Emily seemed genuinely remorseful. While I reassured her initially, things took a turn when I brought up the expense of the product. Emily was taken aback by the price and when I gingerly asked if she could compensate partly for it, she declined. Her rationale was that it had been an accident and since I had offered the products for use, she didn’t see why she should contribute financially. Since that conversation, there's been an uncomfortable tension lingering between us, and communication has been minimal.

The third friend who was present stayed silent and hasn’t picked a side, preferring to remain neutral.

Reflecting on this, I wonder how different the situation would play out if it were part of a high-drama reality show. Surely, the cameras would amplify every reaction and corner each of us into justifying our viewpoints more fervently. Perhaps in such a scenario, the tension would skyrocket, possibly leading to a dramatic confrontation or emotional reconciliation orchestrated by producers for maximum viewer engagement.

Should I have asked Emily for compensation, or was I being unreasonable given the circumstances? How do folks generally handle mishaps like these among friends?

I appreciate any thoughts or shared experiences on the matter. 😉

I don't know where to start, but it feels heavy, and it always happens quite sometimes now. Am I the problem? Am I the bad daughter? Please enlighten me and give me some advice, I'm a working student, I work at the university, and in exchange, I'm only paying my tuition fee of 1,000. So that's why I can't no longer help with the house chores anymore, but I will help once I get the free time. Sometimes I do all of our laundry on Sunday so that I can at least help. But I think it wasn't enough because all of what I heard from my mother is always nagging and telling me that I no longer help with the house chores, and now I'm lazy. It feels heavy right now because my mother and I is fighting as a while ago

I have two elder sisters, both in their 30s, while I'm the youngest, still enjoying my 20s. Mother's Day was approaching, and they proposed a lunch outing, intending to divide the expenses by three. Lee and Megan, my sisters, each have two children, all well beyond toddler age, the eldest nearing 18. Given past incidents where their kids dug into the meal but were absent from the bill, I raised a concern about this division method. I suggested accounting for the kids in the split, which did not sit well with them. They dismissed my thoughts as confrontational, and somehow, the matter reached my mom, who sided with them, as tends to happen.

To add some perspective, this isn’t the first time I've been financially inconvenient due to their oversight. A previous family trip ended with me paying for one-third of the total expenses, despite my sister's family (including her husband and kids) greatly outnumbering me. My mom knew it was unfair but pleaded for me not to raise the issue to avoid conflicts. I maintained my peace then, but it’s becoming increasingly challenging to keep silent.

Now the question popping in my mind is whether I'm unreasonable to desire a fairer method to split the bill, considering I am only responsible for my and mom's costs.

Now, imagine if such a dispute unfolded on a reality TV show, with cameras catching every argument and reaction. The audience might view the family dynamics differently, perhaps siding with me or maybe criticizing my approach as petty. Reality TV thrives on drama and conflict, and this situation seems ripe for on-screen entertainment. Would the viewers understand my point, or would they see me as someone causing unnecessary drama over a few extra dollars?

I’m curious how people would have reacted if this was all played out in front of an audience. Would they think it fair to include the kids in the bill, or am I just being too stingy over what they might see as a minor issue?

I feel like every guy that i talk to see me as like their last option.I mean i do not have any complaints about my looks or anything but idk why sometimes i feel desperate for pure love and affection and nobody has ever looked at me in that way even tho i feel like im averagely pretty idk.

I messed up my exams and I don’t wanna study anymore. I’m really scared about my parents. I feel like they are gonna hate me…

My partner and I are stepping into a new chapter together as we plan our wedding. Initially, we hadn't thought about including a wedding brunch in our schedule, but my soon-to-be mother-in-law, eager to contribute, passionately proposed hosting one. Personally, the idea of hosting a brunch wasn't on my radar, but given her enthusiasm—and her willingness to finance it—I agreed to go along with the plan.

Both my fiancé and I have been committed vegetarians for years, avoiding meat and eggs for ethical reasons, but we are okay with dairy products. Our wedding menu reflects our dietary preferences, featuring indulgent vegetarian dishes absent of eggs like exquisite pasta dishes, bruschetta, salads with mozzarella and ripe tomatoes, as well as delightful desserts like poached pears and grilled peaches. Despite the thoughtful variety, we've heard a few complaints from our families about the lack of meat and eggs.

Unexpectedly, my future mother-in-law began orchestrating the brunch menu without our input and came up with an idea to have an omelette station complemented by sausages and assorted vegetables. We suggested tweaking the menu to something less meat-centric, maybe a selection of fresh bagels, a variety of fruits, and some yogurt options, arguing that more protein-focused options weren't necessary. However, she insisted, saying the guests might react negatively if the menu lacked substantial protein options.

I understand that not all our guests are vegetarians, but it's only for two meals of a major celebration that is deeply personal to us. I truly believe it’s not too much to ask for our wishes to be respected during our special event, particularly by someone who is also gifting us something for this occasion. If she remains inflexible on changing the menu, would I be wrong to either cancel the brunch or firmly request her to halt her plans?

If this scenario were part of a reality TV show, imagine how the audience might react. Cameras capturing every tense discussion and the dramatic climax of either modifying the brunch plans or possibly canceling it altogether could potentially become a focal point of an episode. Viewers might split into camps—some sympathizing with our dedication to vegetarianism, others siding with the mother-in-law trying to please the broader family. The dynamic could bring an unpredictable swirl of support and criticism, heightening the drama all the more.

Would it be unreasonable to request a vegetarian wedding brunch menu?

I used to be in a very big depression slump, it was very long. Lasted a span of 4 years at least. It started as deeply emotional. I was very sensitive and fragile to put it simply. But that later changed into hate and resentment. I am the oldest daughter in a traditional household. So when my parents started their seperation I was stressed about trying to makesure everyone was taken care of. But then I started to hate my family, hate how much they needed me for the house to be clean and for the kids to bed fed, and clean, and presentable for school. Until my younger brother started to show signs of depression too. It kind of snapped me out of it. Like it tore me in two that my little brother could feel like his life wasnt valuable the same way I saw my life. Fastforward I no longer feel that towards him. Im not so sure if hes still depressed but he is doing nothing with his life and it frustrates me deeply. He skips school and plays video games all day or watches videos. He has a GPA of 0 and is going to be a junior this year. This angers me. He didnt have all the responsibilies I had pushed on me growing up. While I had to literally physically move away from my family to focus on school and take many recovery classes to graduate on time. I guess the main cause of this resentment is that my mom tried talking with me about his mental health and trying to find a reason why he is this way. But when I was depressed I was just being a dirty and lazy kid that was making everything harder on her. I feel like I have regressed emotionally. I feel I used to have a lot more empathy than other but now I can only focus on how I feel in situations that cause me emotional distress. I didnt use to be this way. I dont know how to fix this empathy problem I have developed. I feel selfish and evil and filled with hate an resentment towards everyone and everything. Does anyone have some insight in how I can change this? I dont like living this way.

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

So it all started a year ago when I met my ex-boyfriend online. We started going out after only a few days and became a long-distance couple. At first everything was going well, but at around 6 months into the relationship, he started talking to me about sex, which I wasn’t against, but it was kind of at the limit of what felt reasonable. Then things sped up until we were sending pictures and calling each other on video.

Later on I met some friends, but you should know my ex was very obsessed with me and manipulative and controlling. So I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted or have guy friends, and the friends I had met were a big group of guys. In that group there was one boy, pretty ordinary and nerdy, geeky, who didn’t stand out, and I fell in love with him.

So one night I decided to leave my ex by blocking him everywhere without any explanation, and that’s how I ended up single. With my friends we had so much fun, we were a big group, but we also had a smaller group of 4: two girls including me, and two boys including the boy I like. But he was a friend before anything else. We got closer, and I told my friends who the boy I liked was, but at the same time I got closer to that boy and realized it was better to have him as a friend and nothing more, because he was still another toxic guy who was better kept only as a friend.

Especially because he had gotten more popular since we became friends, and he liked another girl. He had even told me about it, but that girl is not good. Like I said, I had told my friends who I liked, and two of them wanted to help me. One of them sent a message to the boy saying the girl he liked was bad and that he knew a girl who liked him and was better.

Then that same evening I call this boy, who is my friend, and we talk normally. Then he tells me that this friend had talked to him, but what I didn’t know is that he had told him to join a call where he would say who the girl who liked him was.

After the call, I send a message to the two boys telling them I’m against the idea of telling him, and they defend themselves and then say they’re going to call him to convince him not to like the girl he likes. A bit later they send me a message saying he made a list of 4 girls he didn’t want to date, and I was in it. So then my two friends tell me they can tell him now because I have nothing left to lose. So they tell him, and his reaction is to say “ohh” in a disappointed way after finding that out, and then he said it would’ve been better if he hadn’t known.

Then the two boys admit to me that they knew from the start it would never work and that it was just entertainment. And then they added me to the group with the boy and called me again, again just for entertainment, and I didn’t join. So there you go, I’m mad at them, but at the same time they’re my friends. And I’d like to have a conversation with the boy because I want us to stay friends, but I haven’t talked to them anymore since then.

Oh and also, a little before that, I unblocked my ex because I felt bad, and also my two former best friends. But my ex wanted to get back together with me while I only wanted sex, and I’m tired of men. I feel like I want to be loved but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I want flirting, but I don’t want the guy to not be only mine. I like it when they’re obsessed, but at the same time it annoys me.

I don’t know how to find what I want and someone who agrees with it.

So yeah, if you read all the way to here, I’m grateful, and if you have any advice I’d be happy to hear it.