Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I love this guy so much. I love him so much that I wish he would understand that it's torture to be left in the dark about how he feels. We got into a situation where I was honestly being very emotional and hysterical for no good reason. I asked him if he would ever tell me if he had an issue with me or anything that he ever wanted to talk about so that I wouldn't spiral so badly again and he told me that he would never. I was shocked to say the least. It's important for me that there is communication in a relationship and I feel like we have awesome conversations when we are just talking, but we can never sit down and have a conversation about anything important. He internalizes a lot of things and I feel very cautious of what I say around him because he remembers very little comments and brings them up when we fight about anything. I match his energy and I keep things to myself and when I eventually explode and have horrible reactions he either just brushes off my emotions with "ugh men" or he talks about how he could've never known I felt that way and that I should talk instead of keep things to myself, when he is the worst at doing that. He makes me feel like I'm insane or dramatic and he often calls me dramatic, but I don't know if I really am or if I'm normal? We have both had bad experiences with dating in the past, so of course we're gonna have our baggage, but I really want this to work. He recently has talked about moving back to his home state with his mom and how he wants to get a one bedroom apartment and I was afraid that he meant alone and my emotions are clear on my face usually so he saw and he told me that of course he meant with me, but I really feel like I can't trust anything he tells me. He is very good at putting up a facade, it's kind of chilling how he can do that honestly because one day he was talking to an old friend and being very chill and laughing with them and immediately after that he just straight up cut them off entirely. He had reasons why he did that and I understood that he felt uncomfortable with that friend for a long time, but it put a big fear in my heart that I would wake up and he would just be gone one day. How would I even explain that to people? I have been through something similar with an ex that I had in high school where we stopped talking and he broke up with me and blocked me. I feel like this is worse though because I am not even sure if he would TELL me before just straight up blocking me.

My good friend Lisa is tying the knot next month. We've been pals for a decade, and I'm looking forward to celebrating her special day. Yet, the lead-up to this joyous occasion has become quite the financial strain.

The wedding is set to take place abroad, requiring a pricey flight and a stay at a high-end, all-inclusive resort. To attend, I requested a week off work, rounding up my total expenses to approximately $2,000. It's a steep price, but Lisa means a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to miss her wedding.

The complication arose a few days back when the maid of honor, who I’m not particularly close with, messaged all the bridesmaids. She proposed we each shell out $500 for a lavish wedding gift, like an exclusive honeymoon package or a bespoke luxury item. This request caught me off guard since the cost of simply attending was already substantial.

I reached out to the maid of honor privately to express my inability to stretch my budget further, offering instead to purchase a meaningful gift within my means. Her reply was disheartening: "Everyone else is contributing. It'll look bad if you don't, especially since Lisa has always wanted this."

Despite the pressure, I remained firm on my decision, unable to justify further financial strain. This stance, however, has led to an uncomfortable rift among the bridesmaids, with some implying that my refusal is a sign of being stingy or unsupportive. It's left me second-guessing myself, though deep down, I know overextending myself financially isn’t wise.

Indeed, if my dilemma were part of a reality show, the drama and tension would certainly boost viewer ratings. Arguments and disagreements are often amplified on-screen, portraying a heightened version of reality. It's possible that cameras and an audience might have influenced the other bridesmaids to pressure me further, pushing for a highly emotional, scripted resolution. Yet, one can only speculate whether this added scrutiny would lead to solidarity among the group or if my stance would be portrayed as the rational voice in an episode filled with fiscal folly.

So, am I wrong for refusing to contribute an additional $500 for a wedding gift considering the significant costs I've already committed to just to be part of Lisa’s day?

first time posting here, english isn't my first language.

my boyfriend broke up with me last sunday, i feel like im the only one grieving the loss of our relationship and he's just mr. perfectly fine—it hurts, it hurts a lot i don't know what do to, i miss him i want him back but im sure he doesn't feel the same way since we restricted me on facebook.. how can he throw away our relationship? from after school dates to the church, walking with me through the bus station, being there for me when my friends left me, internet café hangouts, cinema dates and so much more.. i miss him i miss reyz i miss my bebi and it hurts so bad—i am willing to compromise for our relationship, i would sacrifice a lot for him yet how can he throw all of this away? the times that we would have an argument, I'd still forgive him even though he didn't ask for forgiveness, i did my best to love him every way i can, isn't that enough for him to stay and work things out between us? comeback please i beg you, give us another try please I can't do this without you, im near at the deep end, im losing myself, everyone turned their backs to me and u did too:( please change your mind bebi:( please please.

So basically, I'm in online class due to having this heart problem that's called VSD (ventricular septal defect), and it makes me lose my breath easily, and I get palpitations every time I run. So there's no hope of actually going to face-to-face schools due to walking long hallways and going up stairs. And there's barely anyone in my online class that I can be friends with. It makes me feel a little lonely, and I'm an introvert. But just because of the sole reason of wanting to be alone, I don't want to be lonely, y'know? And because my class starts from 8am to 4pm, I have to stay home for 8 hours, which makes me feel a little isolated inside my house. And when I go out, I can barely even have fun anymore since I always lose my breath so easily. I can't even swim in cold pools and beaches since I get cold so easily. At family gatherings, I can barely even hang out with my cousins since they go out every night. I can't, though. It's basically because I get cold so easily and I can quickly get sick and have a runny nose. I barely even have any friends to talk to; last time I went to school when my disability wasn't a challenge, I had tons of friends. But now, I've only had one friend from my old school that still keeps in touch with me. And she has regular class, so I can't really chat with her every day. Plus, I barely know anyone that shares the same interests as me. Sometimes during online classes, I use my phone during lessons. And technically, every now and then I use my phone to cope with the fact I barely have any friends to talk to and have fun with because I find it fun to use my phone since it's not reality; it's the opposite. It's getting out of reality.

so i've talked about a person twice before, first vent she was Imogen second vent she was known as just A. And I like her. Like REALLY like her and idek why.

But now...

I have another friend, I've also vented about her before, in which she was known as Katy. Yesterday we were chilling during dismissal as school, she had stolen one of my earbuds and I think I had Everywhere Everything by Noah Kahan playing... either that or Kirari by Fujii Kaze. and she had stolen my hand, like she always does (it's just a normal thing, she likes to hold my hand) and she kissed me on the hand which she always does it's normal I'm used to that...

then she kissed me on the cheek.

That is not something she always does.

I think I might like her now.

but she's taken.

so now I like two people who are BOTH TAKEN.

why is it that I always like people who are taken....

Alright, so here's the thing; I've been thinking about you nonstop lately and I don't even know why. It's like you're just renting space in my head without paying any kind of rent. I mean we haven't talked in forever but somehow, every little thing reminds me of you. It's weird right? Like I'll be driving or watching TV and boom, there you are in my mind again. And it's not like I'm mad about it or anything because to be honest, it's kinda nice having these memories pop up outta nowhere. But at the same time, it's also kinda frustrating because I'm trying to live my life here and focus on what's in front of me, not what happened ages ago.

What's crazy is that it's not just about remembering you from when we used to hang out or whatever. Even the little things remind me of you like songs or places we went together back then... I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a mix of good vibes and a bit annoying at the same time. Don't get me wrong though, everything wasn't always perfect between us (you know how it was) but still there's this undeniable connection that's hard to shake off sometimes even though we're miles apart now both literally and figuratively speaking!

Maybe all this means something deep down who knows huh? Or maybe I'm just overthinking everything again per usual lol! Anyway figured I'd get it off my chest here.

I’m 13, female and I went on a website looking for someone to talk to so I could vent about my issues with my family. My family, while I love them, has flaws. My parents, even though they’re divorced, still live together in my Mom’s apartment with me and my sister. It had been a rough divorce and I’m not sure if I’m fully over it but I still have lasting things going on. My mom and dad mutter bad things about each other, mostly my dad though. Living in an apartment it’s easy to hear through the paper thin walls and his loud voice doesn’t help. I don’t know if my little sister notices or not but I hope she doesn’t. Anyway, I went on a website that was 18+ where you could talk to strangers anonymously. As expected there were a lot of weird people on there but I skipped past them and found a few good ones. I matched up with this one German guy. I live in New Jersey, USA so we’re nowhere near each other. I found it cool I could talk with someone across the world and we talked about the different countries and our lives. He told me he was 22 and I said I was 19 since the age was 18+. I probably shouldn’t have ever gone on in the first place but I was desperate for someone to listen to me. So we talked and talked. He was really nice and sweet and he listened to me and gave feedback. I told him my insecurities and he said that I was perfect the way I was and not to worry about it and let it drag me down, despite not even seeing a picture of me or anything! I felt so seen and heard. We both had cats. I had one and he had too so we talked about that and made jokes. He was funny and made me smile. So, when I started picking up on him flirting with me I was flattered but dread started to pile up. I liked the flirting, I never felt so nice like I had nothing to change or worry about. Not to mention I’m fairly socially awkward and not on the popular side in my school so while everyone started to date and experiment I lagged behind. Maybe a bit ridiculous I know but I always wanted something like true love. Or even just someone to cherish me like the guys in the books and shows.. and he gave me that. I told him I was part French but only by blood and I didn’t really know French but we still joked about it. I’m in French class so I knew a few French words and sentences so I showed him just as fun, things like how to order from a restaurant and whatnot. He said he had a thing for French girls and I couldn’t help but feel happy and the flutter in my stomach I never really felt before. The time difference was major and he had to go to sleep soon as it was very late at night, or rather early in the morning for him. I never flirted back but I did pick up on all of his. How he wished me goodnight in French, he called me hun, said specific things about comments I made that I knew he did intentionally. That problem is, I’m 13, not 19. It’s wrong and nothing will ever come of it but he doesn’t know that. I’m cat fishing him and I didn’t even mean to! I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been a genuine connection like that for so long and I feel so good around him, he said I make him smile by talking with him. But he doesn’t know I’m 13. I don’t want to let go of what we have, I’m afraid I’ll never find something like that again. I know it can never happen though. And even if I could manage to just stay on a friendly level I’m sure the feelings wouldn’t go away and it wouldn’t change the fact that I have to keep pretending to be 19. He’d find out eventually or at least get suspicious right? I couldn’t tell him, he’d be furious of course and I don’t want to lose the friendship and connection I have. I don’t know what to do now.

so, here's the thing, my brother and i have this classic sibling rivalry that honestly feels like it's straight out of every cliche sitcom ever. he's got this knack for tearing down whatever small accomplishments i manage to muster, and then somehow, he flips the whole scenario around like he's doing some circus trick. it's kinda like "hey, there buddy, i was just being tough on you to make you stronger"...when in fact, his words just sting, you know? 🤷‍♂️ i mean, we've all been there, trying to find that delicate balance between accepting sibling criticism as "constructive" and realizing it's just mean-spirited jabs dipped in sarcasm. sometimes i wonder if he's ever taken the time to be a bit more gentle with his words, especially knowing that i'm, well, still figuring things out.

let's paint a more clear picture; it's sunday brunch... our family tradition, right? the plan's always like, grab a plate and spill some tea. today, however, just as i'm reminiscing with my folks about how well my recent soccer game went, the guy leans back, smirking, and tosses in this zinger, "yeah, if only the other team had scored as much as your footprints on the field, maybe they'd have bought you lunch!" sure, maybe it sounds amusing, but there's always this underlying tone that transcends playful banter into the realm of something a bit harsher. ever hear the theory that siblings push buttons no one else knows exist? that's us in a nutshell, except he seems to have installed a new set of buttons altogether! why is it so difficult for him to understand the concept of cheerleading instead of constantly acting like a comedian at my expense?

still, amidst all this chaos, i've decided not just to endure but to try and redefine our dynamic. instead of falling into the pitfall of dramatics, i figured, why not spin his antics positively, kind of like killing him with kindness, as they say. maybe i could even subtly emulate the ancient stoic practice; you know, focusing on controlling my reaction to his remarks rather than expecting his behavior to change overnight. and, who knows? maybe one day, he'll realize that sometimes, the loudest applause for a sibling is a quiet word of support rather than a clever quip. ever feel like you’re in a one-way sibling telepathy session? 'cause i sure do, always hoping for that lightbulb moment. perhaps there's a book or a podcast out there? like "sibling diplomacy: a guide to cultivating camaraderie?" i'm game for suggestions if anyone's got them!..

Alright (I always start with alright lol), So… since 4th grade I’ve had this small friend group with 4-6 people (I’m in 8th grade). In 4th grade, we played this game where one person would pretend to be a dog owner and we would be the dogs, barking in the field during recess. But our generation(being the messed up generation that it is) made it so our whole grade started calling us furries and the Wolfpack. I was scared that kids would actually come punch us in stuff and they didn’t, but to this day I am still mad at those people that bullied us because it was just a game for us little kids to entertain ourselves with.

In 5th grade, there was a group of girls that I hung out with a lot more than my closest friends, and my friends were mad at me about this. I wanted to expand my friendships, and wanted to be good friends with the “cool kids” In hopes that they would stop bullying my friends, and if not, then me (They didn’t). My friend in the so called “Wolfpack” even already had a boyfriend (We were only 11 so I don’t know why I cared lol) and I got so jealous that boys still liked her. Like at least 5 boys in our grade had a huge crush on her, yet still barked and yelled “Furry!” At her whenever she walked by. Honestly, I was not getting much individual recognition in being in “The Wolfpack”, so I was able to make my own friends aside from this friend group! My friends in “The Wolfpack” didn’t like that I was making more friends and we had a huge screaming fight which ended up with my friend saying that I liked her boyfriend (kinda stupid in my opinion I was just jelly she had ANY man). Actually I’ll just end here and do a second part later bye y’all feel free to share your opinion so far!

[Translated from Portuguese. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Hi guys. Well… to start, I am (m). I prefer not say my age but I am very young. What I want to say, and also ask for advice, is about something that is bothering me a lot in the last months. Since February actually.

Like I was saying, I am a boy, I really like rock music in general. My favorite band is Linkin Park. I am learning keyboard for about one year. I have actually some talent for music in general. Since I was little I was always good with it. Because of that, some time ago I made a band with some friends. I am the vocalist and keyboard player. We never really did anything. But the band exists.

This was just a superficial presentation of me. Nothing very important.

But the real question is that, like I said, in the last times I am having kind of bad thoughts. Things like being unmotivated with life, having to see other people becoming better than me and also having to hear words of less value against me. This is routine. My parents always raised me to be the best in everything I do. And in some way this is right. I also always wanted to be the best. And this is not an egoist thought. If there are people better than me, ok. I really don’t care. But I have to stay quiet and hear many things my parents say that end up hurting me. They don’t say it with bad intention. I know that. They love me and want my good. But I always feel inferior to everyone. Sometimes I hear things from my parents like: “are you dumb?” or “you always make the same mistake”. Things like that. I ended accepting a reality that I am useless. If I disappeared, maybe others would be happier.

This is not just a teenager nonsense talk (I know, every teenager would say that). But I really need advice or help. Because if I really am a burden or just useless, there is no reason for me to continue existing and disturbing others. I always manage to make my parents sad or angry. Even without wanting and trying to improve. I love them a lot and I admire the patience they have with me (it’s not little).

Another thing that affects me is the feeling of emptiness that I feel all the time. Things that made me happy before or that I liked to do became just… common things. I don’t feel pleasure doing anything I liked. Playing videogames, playing instruments like before. And listening to some Linkin Park songs, I realize a bit of what I am talking about. In parts like: “In the end, it doesn’t even matter” from the song In the End. Or “who cares if one more light goes out, in the sky of a million stars”, from the song One More Light.

I feel that even living, being successful, working with something I like, getting married and being happy, even then I will not be complete. Because everything is very temporary. One day everything will end and… then? All of this was for nothing? I lived for nothing?

I simply lost the will to live. It doesn’t make me happy anymore to think about tomorrow. About what I will do.

I am kind of giving up. Because living until 70, or 80 with this disgust of myself. This daily self-deprecation that torments me. I can’t take supporting this alone anymore. And I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t want to be labeled as weak. Or things like that. I wanted someone that really understands me and doesn’t say: “ah but this is age. Soon it passes.”

My conclusion about life is this. Something that I don’t know why or for what it exists.

Sorry for possible bad orthography and for the text being kind of confusing and tiring. But I would appreciate anyone who could read this vent and try to give me advice.

Sorry too if I marked the wrong tag. I am new here in the community.

But anyway, thank you everyone.

i’ve been asking myself that question for a while now and i don't want to talk about that with my friends. like, i don’t do the stuff you see on tv or in movies, i’m not cutting or bleeding or anything like that. but sometimes when i get really anxious or angry or just... overwhelmed, i scratch at my arms or the back of my neck or even my legs, usually when no one’s around. i tell myself it's nothing, that it’s not serious. but then i look at my skin and it's red and sometimes raw, and i start wonderin if it does count. maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m scared to admit that something's not okay with me. cause if i admit that, then what? do i tell someone? what if they think i’m just looking for attention? what if they don’t take me seriously cause i’m not “hurting myself the right way,” if that even makes sense.

i started doing it more during exams last year. the pressure just got to me and i felt like i was gonna explode. i didn’t even think about it at first — it was just a way to deal with the stress. dig my nails in, press hard, breathe, repeat. sometimes it helped me feel like i was in control, like i could focus my brain on that instead of everything else spinning around. but then one of my friends saw a mark on my wrist and was like “dude what happened there?” and i panicked. made up a story about my cat scratching me. i don’t even have a cat. i laughed it off, and he didn’t push, but afterward i felt so ashamed. like what the hell am i doing to myself? why can’t i just deal with life like a normal person?

it’s not like my life is that bad. i mean, i got a roof over my head, food, i’m doing ok in school, my parents are around even if we don’t talk much. but i just feel... numb half the time. and then randomly i’ll feel too much, like someone plugged my brain into an amp and cranked the volume up to 100. that’s when i start scratching. i guess it’s my way of trying to feel something real, or maybe it’s just a distraction. i don’t even know anymore. sometimes i do it and then sit there staring at the red marks, thinking “wtf is wrong with me.” other times i do it and just move on like nothing happened. like it’s normal. but it’s not, right? this can’t be normal.

i googled it one night and found people asking the same question. “is scratching yourself a form of self-harm?” and the answers weren’t super clear but most said yeah, it can be. self-harm isn’t always about blood. it’s about intention. and that kinda hit me. cause even if i’m not trying to “hurt” myself, i am trying to punish myself in a way. or escape something. or maybe both. i don’t know how to talk about it tho. i don’t even know if i want help or just someone to sit with me and say “i get it.” not fix me, not judge me, just get it. cause honestly the silence in my own head is sometimes the scariest part. i keep wondering if anyone else around me is going through this and just hiding it like i am.

so yeah, maybe scratching is a form of sh. maybe it’s not about what you’re using to hurt yourself but why you're doing it. i don’t want to keep doing this forever. i want to find a better way to cope. but for now, writing this is a start, i guess. if you're reading this and you’ve done the same thing — if you’ve ever sat in your room scratching at yourself and feeling like a freak — just know you’re not alone. i’m out here too, still figuring it out. still asking the same questions. and maybe, just maybe, that means we’re not as broken as we think.

Hey! It's Caralia. So if you've read Caralia and Luna part 2, you have the full story. This is NOT a continuation of that story. Go check that out, anyways!

So, as we previously know, Jaylen was part of the same friend group as Willow (girl that bullied me). btw, Willow went back to the original friend group she was talking mess about. Jaylen was telling me what happened yesterday, and it went something like this.

Jaylen texted that she was kinda friends with a controversial person Ria in a group chat with Willow and friends > The entire group was shocked, but quiet about opinions. > The following day at lunchtime, Jaylen was talking to Willow and friends and said that she was cool with Ria, but not completely friends > Willow was overreacting, jumping around, and yelling all about Jaylen's a traitor, a liar, and completely judging Jaylen for having separate friends. > Jaylen tries to handle it respectfully

As Jaylen was telling me, many people in that group chat started avoiding Jaylen, and Jaylen is going to confront Willow. STAY UPDATED!!

Last thing, thanks for reading. If you don't want to write a comment, vote in poll.

My wife and I recently took a two-week trip to Germany for Oktoberfest. I'm writing this from our hotel room in a resort on the southwest side of the country. Neither of us come from money, and we both have a bit of an alternative look—I've got a Mohawk, piercings, and nail polish, and my wife has tattoos covering about 80% of her body along with colored hair. So, we tend to stand out a bit.

We dressed up nicely for dinner—I wore a button-up shirt and black pants, and my wife wore a nice dress and heels. We showed up five minutes early for our reservation, not wanting to be late and ready to wait if necessary. We were seated and ordered different sets of courses to try a bit of everything. We were polite, used please and thank you, and asked the staff for advice on how to enjoy our meals properly.

When it came time for the main courses, our reservation was at 7 PM, and by 8:10 PM, we still hadn't received our main dishes. It wasn't until 9:40 PM that our food finally arrived. During the wait, we asked our server a few times if there was a delay, not rudely, just curious if we should hold off on more bread.

At the 1 hour 30-minute mark, I asked for the chief to see if there was an issue since other tables with similar orders and larger groups who arrived after us were already being served. When I explained our situation, he patronizingly smacked his lips and said, "Aww, it hasn't been over an hour and a half." When I clarified we had timed it, he shrugged and said, "I don't know what to say," then walked off.

All I wanted was an apology or some communication. Even if they had said, "Sorry, the food didn't meet the chef's standards," I'd have been fine with that. But nothing. When you're paying $300 per person, the least you expect is an update if your meal is delayed. Was that too much to ask?

Thinking about this, I wonder how people would react if this had happened on a reality show. Would it have been different? How would people judge the situation?

Experiencing anxiety chills can be quite disruptive, especially in professional settings. During critical work meetings where I am tasked with presenting in front of the team, I often find myself overtaken by intense chills whenever my anxiety reaches its peak. This physiological response not only causes embarrassment but also significantly impacts my ability to focus and maintain a coherent train of thought throughout the presentation. The trembling becomes so pronounced that it feels almost insurmountable to deliver the content smoothly and confidently.

In seeking solutions to manage this challenge, I've encountered references to various techniques in stress management literature that reportedly assist in mitigating these instances. 'Progressive muscle relaxation' is frequently mentioned as an effective method for reducing anxiety-induced physical symptoms. Additionally, cognitive behavioral strategies intended to reframe anxious thoughts have shown promise in relieving some of the mental strain associated with public speaking scenarios. Although these approaches offer hope, it remains a continuous journey of trial and error while striving to overcome this personal obstacle within professional contexts.

Anyone also impacted by taht at work?

Ideally books from a library... Not digital... Cause digital books usually cost money to continue reading chapters... Or only allow you to have the 1st book free... And the sequels not-free😭!

My ideal books are honestly werewolf smut😑. And not the kind with a sh*t-ton of violence or "imma cage you and you submit to me" kinda books😅. I definitely like the books were there's an alpha female falling in love with another hot alpha! Alpha-alpha energies in such stories don't seem to mix well in werewolf lore but for my sludge brain... It should! And I'm personally into monogamy, but the books with 1 female, and 2-3 dude is super spicy😍!! It's even spicier when the dude are twins or triplets cause that's hecka funny when the MC gets super confused🤣!! Good comedy in a steamy romance😂! I usually like these werewolf setting to be in college, cause that's where I'm at right now.

Another type is college romance, spicy version. Yes, my brain is sludge, and I need to touch grass(thanks Bang Chan!)... But come on... They're fun, and usually college scenarios involve a lot of cute flirting and then... BAM!! Your roommate caught you kissing and you sludge-brains forgot to lock the door or put something on the door🤪!

Personally, my love live is non-existent... Recently single. Boring AF! I'm human🙋🏻‍♀️... By the way, if there are any werewolf believers. And according to werewolf lore... Specifically based on stereotypes... They have soulmates... Unfortunately, I'm human... And I'm stuck being a sludge brain without a mate. Also, the stories seem to insinuate that werewolf's don't particularly like the fact that their mates would be with other people before finding them. And there's the possessiveness, obsessiveness, gaslighting, and an odd amount of dominance... Which isn't something I'd personally want... As I prefer control. But on the outside, I basically look like one of the chubby anime cats that you see in those shows... Cute, soft, small, and I sorta have a cat-like personality.