Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Being 31 sucks, man. Three months ago, I found myself on the ass-end of a layoff. My company had the nerve to tell me it was all 'cause of AI. Seriously? It's way more convenient to pin it on some sexy-tech revolution to pacify the stakeholders than to admit they just don't give a damn about those who actually bust their chops on the ground. Does anybody else sense this BS?

I've been scouring for jobs, pounding the pavement, and combing through job sites till my eyeballs gave out. Three months have gone by, and voilà—zilch, nada, nothing! Every "We regret to inform you" email slices deeper. Somehow that whole "dream big, you can achieve anything" mantra outran its welcome when all the job openings want people with no life, endless patience, and a unicorn-level of expertise. Are any of these hiring managers in touch with reality?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Each day is like re-living the Groundhog Day loop but without Bill Murray's charm. People say, "You just gotta keep plugging away," but when you've got rent gnawing at your heels and the radio's blurting out how AI's making sectors disappear, you start to think, "Why's this brick wall so damn peaceful?" Alan Watts once said, "The meaning of life is just to be alive." Right now, that's easier said than done. Who even has time to listen to that anymore?

It feels like drowning, frankly. It's not like I'm new to challenges, but fighting for a mere slice of the pie when it's been swiped out by non-human hands feels like some bad plot twist. You'd think there's a magic portal out of this numb-nuts existence, but no. All I want is to stop feeling like a hamster in a wheel, spinning with nowhere to get off. Does anyone out there get it? Or is existential crisis just a Tuesday thing now?

I vent not with malice but out of desperation and a sorta-shaky hope that commiseration might exist beyond my four walls. Maybe it’s time to pivot and think beyond what was once considered job security - maybe I'm just supposed to keep calm and carry on? Whatever dull wisdom that might hold, life sure feels meaningless right now. Staring at these walls makes as much sense as the crap I've been fed about AI. Are we left to merely grit our teeth and shout into the void without getting drowned out?

I have a group of about 8 friends. in the same class since about grade 1. after our discrepancies, we grew really close from around grade 8 till matric. we would have little outings here and there and it was fun

until we matriculated and grew apart little by little. we still manage to chat normally on the group, but it's not the same as before. since last year, I would dread going out. simply because they had changed and I had changed and topics that were of interest to them would not be the same for me. and that is obvious and understandable, as we are all growing and changing. what stands out to me is that everytime a plan to go out was made, the first thought that came to my mind was that I don't even agree with the topics they speak about, the jokes they make. some of them still remained close, had their inside jokes and all you know. they would even crack perverted jokes, leaving some discomfort and awkwardness in the air for me and another girl as those just weren't our thing. so maybe, you could say I didnt like to be around them because I didn't feel part of it ? like I didn't belong? I don't know. I basically didn't have the energy to enthusiastically go and look for the positives. being around them drained me because it was all so out of my interest line. I struggled to refuse everytime cuz they made it a bit hard. I did refuse a few times, but they always went on about how they always the ones putting in the effort and making plans, while others just blue tick, don't respond, and cancel plans

after a few months, the next time they made a plan, I dreaded again. but I gave it a shot, thinking I also need a break and maybe it's not that bad after all. one of my close friends, the one whose quite similar to me- quiet, not feeling like it's her people anymore either- didn't come on that day. I sat there normally, trying to enjoy the moment. later that night, I get a message from one of my friends( the one who complained about us cancelling) asking if I'm okay, and that I was oddly quiet. after a conversation, I explained the situation, how I don't feel like it, how and why I don't like to refuse and all, and she finally understood and said hope I get better? what did she mean ?

anyways, point is- they brought up the idea of another plan again (note we are all on good terms with eachother. she didn't hate on me after that convo, if you were wondering). this time, I wanted to go, and I was excited about the whole idea. but they're kind of delayed and haven't decided anything yet. I hesitated to ask because I know I'll be in now, and then slowly as the time comes to meet, I'll lose the excitement and begin dreading again. and then it's either a last minute cancellation ( which I know is unfair to everyone) or I am half heartedly present on that day. problem is, I usually do, and did, really enjoy being with them. even after I realised they weren't my people anymore, there were days when I went out/met them and actually fully enjoyed myself.

so.... I don't know what's the problem. why I feel this way. I guess I don't want to give them up because I also have quite a limited social life, and ofcourse, we've been close since childhood.

I don't know

ok. so like. how do I tell them. we're on good terms already, I don't want to ruin it. we joke about it all the time, making fun of it. I feel embarrassed every time we make fun of it, knowing damn well I'm in that position. God I hate this.

if you see this no you don't btw, you know who you are

LIKE COME ON

THERES THESE TWO KIDS IN MY ENGLISH CLASS MAKING OUT EVERY FUCKING DAY LIKE I DONT NEED TO SEE THAT

PETITION TO MAKE PDA ILLEGAL?!?!??!?! LIKE PLEASE

this is a joke btw, while I do hate seeing PDA people can do what they want lol idc

I feel so frustrated. I have always wanted to go abroad and study as it would allow me some freedom and let me learn stuff by myself. However, due to some familial issues I was not able to go, don’t get me wrong I am grateful that I am even getting the opportunity to study in my home country but the issue is my parents are not letting me do anything. My older sister who went abroad for her studies in her 19s was able to learn a lot of stuff and is the “pride” of the family whereas I am the loser. I am constantly reminded about how my degree will hold no importance in the global market or how I can’t do simple stuff like going to the gym because our “culture” is different. Whenever I try to bring this up to my parents that I also want to learn something like my sister I get told I still have time, that I am not going to get married any soon???? What does this even mean? I am constantly compared with my sister ( fyi my sister is absolutely on my side and always tries to help me so none of this is her fault ), I get reminded about how my degree holds no value, about how the world will not even care about the degree I hold. I was SO excited for this new phase of my life but I feel so sucked out now, I am not even studying what I wanted but I am not showing the signs that I am upset about it. Whenever I tell my mom that sometimes I get upset that I was not able to go she tells me in a harsh way that I should be grateful but then they degrade my degree?? Funny thing is I got accepted into all the universities that I applied to ( both abroad and domestic ) yet I keep getting blamed / compared to because they could not send me.

My family is oversized by any standard. Including me, we're a group of seven siblings: Bailey, Clara, Reece, Sophie, Mia, and the youngest, Evan. With an initial plan of only two, my parents clearly overshot. Their jobs aren't particularly high-paying, and space in our three-bedroom house was tight long before we filled it to the brim. When my school transitioned online, I took up small jobs at 13 because we didn't even have web access back then. Despite the struggles, after Evan was born, they promised no more surprises, ensuring that I wouldn't have to fend for school necessities by working odd jobs. As the eldest, I've shouldered responsibilities like babysitting during my parent's night shifts and managing household chores to ease their burden, but the financial strain and cramped living conditions continue to challenge us. Government aid helps, but it's never enough with my parents’ lackluster financial acumen.

I believed that after Evan we were through expanding our family, and I began to envision a future where I could dive into culinary arts rather than pursuing traditional college due to economic constraints and mediocre academic performance.

However, this Monday evening shattered those brief daydreams when my parents announced a new pregnancy—14 weeks along. They had sat on this news for seven weeks, waiting for the "right moment" to tell us. While my siblings digested the shock, I felt an overwhelming rush of despair—tears, an uncommon expression for me, betrayed my feelings. My outcry sparked a heated reaction; my parents accused me of an unwarranted attitude. I shot back, frustrated by their broken promises and the relentless financial instability. Their response was dismissive at best, emphasizing the unplanned nature of the pregnancy and their anti-abortion stance, further implying that my focus should be on positivity.

The notion that a loving family trumps financial stability might hold for some, but for me, love feels eclipsed by the burdens of responsibility. It’s daunting, to say the least. Thoughts of potential financial crises, such as unmanageable bills or essential yet unaffordable repairs, haunt me daily. It's not just about immediate needs; it’s about the absence of security or predictability. Is it so wrong to feel burdened rather than blessed?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show. Viewers would likely be polarized. Some might praise my resilience and condemn my parents' decisions, while others might criticize my perspective on family and obligations. Cameras amplifying every emotional response could sway public sympathy towards either the plight of a struggling youth forced into premature adulthood, or toward parents grappling with life’s unpredictable challenges.

Is it wrong to feel overwhelmed by familial obligations?

I didn't know where else to put this, so I apologize if this is in the wrong category.

I got herpes from kissing my former boyfriend, at 17. When I told my mom, she yelled at me saying that's "what I get for being fast." Now she acts like it's no big deal, but I still remember how it made me feel like shit. Now I am 21 and identify as a lesbian. My mental health is so much worse since coming to that conclusion. Not only do I have a small dating pool due to being a lesbian, but now I have to deal with an even smaller dating pool due to having an STI. People say to just date other people who have herpes but that is nearly impossible when lesbians have the lowest rates of STIs. To be clear this is not a bad thing, I'm just explaining how isolating it can be for people like me and how it's not as simple as dating other women who have it. To add insult to injury, I have been diagnosed with a "mood disorder" (possible personality disorder as well). I have been dealing with this since childhood, not being able to explain what I was going through. This disorder has made me ruin all of my relationships, even while on antidepressants. I'm in therapy now, but being isolated has worn away at my hope that I will ever be well enough to be in a healthy relationship or have healthy friendships. This is not even factoring in current events that's make people in general focus less on romantic (or platonic) relationships and more on direct action/organized activism, rightfully so. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever: who would want to deal with my baggage?! I oscillate between thinking I'm better off gone, and thinking I could definitely continue to live...in a psych hospital.

Would you be okay with your partner showing expressions to you in a public space?

So I'm introverted and I have a resting serious face when I'm not talking to anyone at events. I was upset with my boyfriend because he was ignoring me so I made a face at him. Nothing elaborate but it was like a glare and eye roll. And we were like on a side and maybe someone could notice but I didn't think so. He didnt like that I made a face because he didn't want other people to notice it and make something of it. Other people includes random people we barely know and other people we do know (not nearby) and one of his cousin and her husband were nearby but again we were off to the side.

I did communicate that I was upset because he was ignoring me (he doesnt think he was). I also said I won't make a face or eye roll in future events because he doesn't like it and I meant it. I'm just curious about other opinions about being expressive to your own partner. We weren't near our close family (i wouldnt do that around our family) and the other people there suck and idc about their opinions tbh. I know he cares about society and stuff so I do/ don't do certain things out of respect but I do think it's annoying to do that for fake people who love to judge and have nothing to do with my life.

So I saw this guy a few months ago at school since we have the same club. I'm a transferee that came from an all-boys school and we're both in our second year of high school right now. I had to ask one of my close girl besties (calling this specific one AN) to help me find out what he likes so that I could hopefully ask him out, and she did find out he was gay. I got to know what he likes to eat, where he lived, how good were his grades in his classes, those kind of sorts.

Then just 2 weeks ago I planned to ask him out, and AN helped me get everything I needed just so I could hear him say 'yes'.

But when I confessed to him (calling him AR), he said he already knew and was still thinking about it. Because someone leaked my plans to him (this wasn't AN who leaked, I checked it already). I said I'd respect his decision even when he said no and until I received an answer from him directly, I'd keep my distance. And I did. Fast forward next week, and he said he didn't think we would work out.

So I continued to keep my distance from him. Then just yesterday. AN said AR asked her out.

She said yes, and said AR was straight now.

I don't know why he said no to me, not even giving it more than a week, then moving on to someone else. I still made sure to keep my distance from him (which means keeping my distance from AN as well), but I just don't think it's normal for people to take that short to move on. I just don't think it's fair that AN got to have the boyfriend that I couldn't get. Because I'm new to him. But AN and AR had a year to get to know each other.

I had a crush on this one guy back at my old school (calling him BA, yes it's the same person as the one in the story I had made a few months ago), and I don't know which is worse: having a crush on a guy for 2 years without saying it out loud to him, or finally asking someone out only for them to say no.

So it got me thinking.

Why does it still not matter?

Even when I try and put effort, or when I just love them silently,

they all find someone new. And that someone just ain't me.

When will I get to experience the joy of having someone else to love?

Because I left my family a long ass time ago.

They still can't love me.

I can deal with that.

But whenever I find someone new?

I wish we can just be together right then and there.

So for almost a year now I have had the hugest crushes on one of my straight (girl) friends. Now obviously, I am unable to control who I have feelings for, but it just won't go away and I'm exhausted. She doesn't know. Also, it's insanely hard living daily life (I see her every day) and trying to act normal. Not to mention love has been in the air or something lately because all of these people around me have been getting together and it's making my feelings so. much. worse. I never knew how intensely lonely I could feel until half of my friends, my sister, and all these other people had newly developing relationships while I am stuck in the trenches. I keep overthinking every interaction we have, looking for signs that aren't there, and never will be there. I have this gut feeling (probably just hope and bias) that maybe if I wait just a little longer, something might happen. I have no idea what to do because I know I'll get rejected and telling her will probably just make things awkward. My feelings have just grown so big and I constantly feel lonely and sad and tired. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this. But even then, what would I do? (Maybe not reality TV, but some sort of side character plot line in a coming of age movie perhaps. Let me know what you think I guess.)

Thanks for reading?

- A little lesbian :)

Some years ago I got into a long-distance (me 14, him 16) and obviously it was a relationship that turned out to be really unhealthy. He was rude to me and others, made disgusting comments, dragged me into a weird situation with one of his friends, used me for things I was too young to understand, denied to make calls and hid me completely from his life. I tried to contact him a month after we broke up, and he told me he'd "see if we could continue together." He ignored my messages and was a bit rude, so I decided to tell him that "if he didn't think we could stay together he should just tell me"; next day he told me everything was my fault.

Four months after we ended, he got a new girlfriend and suddenly she was everywhere. Meanwhile, I ended up struggling with psychosis and even now dealing with loss of sensation on one side of my body.

Now I'm around my 20's, I live alone abroad, I have a stable job, I've managed to keep my health in order and I've found a stable partner. A few weeks ago, as a joke, we looked up my ex’s account. He’s still with the girl he once told me was just his “best friend,” they live together and are planning to get married. In her videos he looks like the perfect partner and I bet he changed; but there's one that was posted months after the breakup, they meet in person and she referred to him as a healthy person.

A few days later I ended up in the hospital after a crisis at work, and they told me I showed symptoms of a possible stroke.

I’m starting therapy again soon because I don't want to lose the battle so young, but holding all of this in until then feels impossible. Any opinion would be accepted and really loved by my heart!

In July 2023, my husband Eric and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Prior to her birth, around Christmas 2022, we had shared our pregnancy news, and both our families were overjoyed. Becoming a mother has been a lifelong dream of mine. Eric’s father, who co-owns a successful multi-million dollar business across multiple states, was particularly thrilled. He showed his support by giving us $4,000 to assist with the medical expenses and for our baby's needs.

Due to regulations in our state, one cannot open a bank account without a Social Security number, which our unborn daughter didn’t have at the time. Thus, we agreed to temporarily keep the funds in our joint bank account. I rarely monitor this account as it's primarily managed at my husband’s bank. All medical expenses associated with our daughter's birth were paid from my HSA account, entirely by me. Later, I opened a bank account for our daughter at my bank, where my dad ended up being the trustee because Eric missed the paperwork deadline.

Recently, while driving home from a function, I brought up the topic of the $4,000, mentioning that I’d like to transfer it to our daughter’s proper account now that she’s a year old. To my confusion, Eric insisted that I had used those funds for the medical bills, claiming they were transferred into my personal account. I clearly proved otherwise by showing him my account history. He then admitted if the money was in the joint account, it was spent on purchasing hunting land—an expenditure I had never approved.

Eric dismissed my concerns, labeling me as ridiculous for even questioning the usage of the money and asserted that our daughter isn’t entitled to it since it was meant for her medical and care expenses—a cost he barely contributes towards. I cover 75% of our daycare expenses and all our grocery and formula/milk bills. Our daughter is also on my healthcare plan, given the poor quality of the plan offered by his family's business. While we split our mortgage payments equally, I had fully paid the down payment. My financial burdens have been mounting, making it a struggle to transfer funds regularly into our daughter’s account; I've been managing to set aside $150 from each paycheck to save for her future needs like college or a car.

This confrontation led me to firmly tell him that this wasn’t a matter of asking—he needed to verify where those funds went.

Imagine if such a family dispute were broadcasted on a reality show. The audience reaction would likely range from sympathy for the wife's responsible financial handling to criticism of the husband’s neglect and disregard for agreed-upon financial plans. Reality shows thrive on conflict, and this situation presents enough tension and moral questioning that it could become a focal point of an episode, drawing viewers to take sides and engage emotionally.

I would love to know if I am being unreasonable for insisting Eric trace the missing money.

I hate when people I work with repeat the same phrase or words every time. I’m not complaining, but when someone says, does this person has this or this person has that it makes me feel like I’m not listening which I am. I am listening. Also, every time I’m trying to speak they keep interrupting me as well and it drives me insane. It feels like I’m not being heard again. and once more, it’s during something very stressful like I don’t need to tell them anything, but I need to say this so that they can understand. Why does this stressful not repeating? Does this person have this? Does this person have that I want to yell them they don’t need that, but I can’t or else I’ll lose my job. Sometimes I just want them to know that I am trying my best, but you don’t need to ask the same damn question every time.

I can't self diagnose or anything but I'm 98% sure I'm autistic, the stories my family tells me about when I was younger add up to the autism symptoms I feel now. I've taken the Raads-R test or whatever it's called, I've actually take a bunch, all which lead to the general consensus that I do in fact most definitely have autism. I don't know how to tell my parents. they're asian and they told me a couple years ago that autistic people are weird and not normal or whatever and they probably dont believe anything i try to tell them. they dont believe im aromantic and that me being a tomboy is just a phase. life is becominig harder and harder and i dont know. i just cant do naything. the amount of stress increases every day and whenever i cry or say something about it theyre like oh its cause of that phone your addicted to. I barely have screentime because im so busy, i dance and im at school all day to the point where i only come home to sleep. they are. also pushing me to go to college, which I cant be bothered anymore. I dont. want to go to school anymore and I want to dance. I want to go to europe and dance or something like that. I don't know i dont thik my parents will support me. They'll probably be like u cant make a living, u have to go to college. you porblably got this idea from your phone didn't u. like idk anymore, what do i have to do to convince my parents

Have been feeling so overwhelmed, been feeling like life is a curse. I keep seeing my relatives be absolute pieces of shit, my parents going through the worst of things. On top of that I keep feeling like I am the one who is at fault for drifting apart from my childhood toxic friend, as I keep missing her, wishing that I didn’t do that, that I should have endured it.

God keeps making us go through these numerous horrible tests. It hurts me when I see my family, who has always tried to help others, getting betrayed and hurt by those same exact people. It hurts when I see people that I loved so dearly passing away. It hurts when I see that I never receive anything good despite trying my hardest and giving my all.

Life is a curse. I'm so tired of seeing me and my family continuously go through bad things. I hope one day my family will be happy again but I don’t think days like that will come ever again.