Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

A few months ago, I faced something I never thought I’d have to deal with—trying to comfort my best friend after she lost her mom. It was sudden, a heart attack, and it left everyone in her family completely shattered. I remember getting the phone call and just sitting there in shock. What do you even say when something like that happens?

When I went to see her the next day, I froze at the door. I had all these things running through my head, but none of them seemed right. “I’m sorry for your loss” felt too generic. “She’s in a better place” sounded hollow. And “let me know if you need anything” felt like something people just say, but never follow through on. I stood there for a good five minutes, rehearsing words in my head, and none of them felt like enough.

Finally, I rang the bell. When she opened the door, I could see how much pain she was in. Her eyes were red, her shoulders slumped, and she looked like she hadn’t slept at all. I panicked and blurted out, “I’m so sorry.” She nodded and let me in without saying much. The whole visit, I kept second-guessing myself. Should I talk about her mom? Should I stay quiet? Was I making her feel worse?

At one point, she started crying, and all I could think to do was sit beside her and let her cry. I didn’t say anything. I just put my arm around her. And you know what? She told me later that was exactly what she needed—someone to just be there without trying to fix it or say the "right" thing.

That experience taught me a lot about what to say to someone who lost a loved one—or rather, what not to say. I realized that people don’t need clichés or advice in those moments. They don’t want to hear “time heals all wounds” or “everything happens for a reason.” Those words might come from a good place, but they don’t really help when someone is drowning in grief. What they need is for you to acknowledge their pain and let them feel it without judgment.

Over the weeks that followed, I tried to be there for her in small ways. I checked in with her often, even if it was just a text saying, “Thinking of you today.” I didn’t expect her to reply, but I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. I also made sure to listen when she wanted to talk, even if she repeated the same stories about her mom over and over again. I learned that grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and people need to process it at their own pace.

One thing that really stood out to me was how much she appreciated when people shared memories of her mom. At the funeral, a mutual friend told a funny story about how her mom used to sneak extra candy into her kids’ stockings at Christmas, even though she’d pretend to be strict about sugar. My friend smiled—really smiled—for the first time that day. It was a reminder that her mom wasn’t just gone; she was still a part of all of us through those memories.

Now, when someone asks me what to say to someone who lost a loved one, I always tell them the same thing: don’t overthink it. It’s not about finding the perfect words; it’s about showing up and letting them know you care. Sometimes, saying “I’m here for you” and actually being there is more powerful than any other words.

Another thing I learned is that support doesn’t stop after the first few weeks. In the beginning, everyone rushes to offer condolences and bring meals, but as time goes on, people get busy with their own lives. That’s when the person grieving needs support the most. I made a point to invite my friend out for coffee or walks months after her mom’s passing, and she told me those little gestures made all the difference.

Looking back, I realize how much I’ve grown through this experience. I used to feel helpless and awkward around grief, but now I know it’s okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes, just saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you” is enough. It’s not about solving their pain—it’s about being a steady presence while they navigate through it.

If you’re reading this because you’re struggling with what to say to someone who lost a loved one, I hope this helps. Just remember, you don’t have to fix anything or make it better. Let them cry, let them talk, or just sit in silence with them if that’s what they need. Your presence alone speaks louder than any words ever could.

My wife and I recently took a two-week trip to Germany for Oktoberfest. I'm writing this from our hotel room in a resort on the southwest side of the country. Neither of us come from money, and we both have a bit of an alternative look—I've got a Mohawk, piercings, and nail polish, and my wife has tattoos covering about 80% of her body along with colored hair. So, we tend to stand out a bit.

We dressed up nicely for dinner—I wore a button-up shirt and black pants, and my wife wore a nice dress and heels. We showed up five minutes early for our reservation, not wanting to be late and ready to wait if necessary. We were seated and ordered different sets of courses to try a bit of everything. We were polite, used please and thank you, and asked the staff for advice on how to enjoy our meals properly.

When it came time for the main courses, our reservation was at 7 PM, and by 8:10 PM, we still hadn't received our main dishes. It wasn't until 9:40 PM that our food finally arrived. During the wait, we asked our server a few times if there was a delay, not rudely, just curious if we should hold off on more bread.

At the 1 hour 30-minute mark, I asked for the chief to see if there was an issue since other tables with similar orders and larger groups who arrived after us were already being served. When I explained our situation, he patronizingly smacked his lips and said, "Aww, it hasn't been over an hour and a half." When I clarified we had timed it, he shrugged and said, "I don't know what to say," then walked off.

All I wanted was an apology or some communication. Even if they had said, "Sorry, the food didn't meet the chef's standards," I'd have been fine with that. But nothing. When you're paying $300 per person, the least you expect is an update if your meal is delayed. Was that too much to ask?

Thinking about this, I wonder how people would react if this had happened on a reality show. Would it have been different? How would people judge the situation?

I'm only going to speak of a specific medical issue I'm currently dealing with right now. Which probably isn't actually a good thing that I'm typing this on a digital device... But I sorta have an addiction to digital device use. Not specifically social media, but just the use the digital media.

Anyway...

According to the CA Emergency Room. It's normal for me to have ocular migraines. They said that the excruciating pain would be normal. But also, according to my Psychiatrist, I can only take Advil or Tylenol😭! Due to certain circumstances.

The symptoms I have when the ocular migraines happen are:

Complete and utter pain starting behind my left eye. It migrates to pain in my left nostril. Then the pain moves along to my upper left side jaw. The stickles down to my lower left side jaw. The it enjoys a nice right through the left side of my neck. And ends it's painful adventure through my left are down to my pink finger🤕!

Light and temperature play a factor too. If it's too bright... It hurts🔆. If the temperature is too cold... It hurts🌡️. And unfortunately for me... I run really hot... So these migraines make it difficult for me to adjust the temperature, since I haven't learned how to use my cousins thermostat thingy on the wall🫠. And all I need is the left side of my face, neck, and arm to be warm... Not my whole body😫!

At least the Nivea lotion I have is really good at drying my skin out, so I don't have to worry too much about the sweat🥵!

But that's not the point.

I went to the ER while I was in pain and unbalanced as well... And they said it's normal😒.

I went to a neurologist as well... All test came back normal😮‍💨.

I went for blood work... Guess what... Normal🥴.

So, according to many doctors opinions... Being in immense pain, and not being able to walk is... "Normal" for someone who doesn't experience this everyday😑.

Also, the cause of symptoms are based on how much I'm anxious about something, someone, or somewhere😥.

And my life right now is just all about that anxiousness🤪!!

And I wouldn't be responding to any story's/things I've written on this site for a while. Until I get better. I do like to respond to comments... So when I'm better... I'll respond to all the comments or questions later😌🙏🏻✨!!

I think that this is less of a question and more of a vent. I was at a festival recently and for the first time in a while I felt genuinely happy and optimistic about my life and my future, it was 100% one of the best days of my life. Though afterwards, my dad sent me all of the videos and photos that he took and I’m in nearly all of them. I’m so ugly in each one and it’s not subjective or me being insecure, I am truly ugly and there’s no redeeming me. It makes me feel really sick and I got so angry at my dad for ruining my memories by reminding me how I looked, and how even when I was my happiest and smiling I still looked dreadful. It makes me embarrassed to go outside because I know that people are seeing my face and judging me. Even if they’re not judging me, they’re feeling sorry for me or are disgusted. I struggled to sit with my family for dinner tonight and nearly cried because I was aware that they could all see my face, and that’s mainly what made me write this. This sounds silly but I wish that we were all nothing but our souls, and had no physical bodies to worry about. I regularly struggle with suicidal thoughts anyway and I feel hopeless because every time I start to feel better I gain something else that makes me want to die. I suppose I’m just looking for validation on here so does anyone else relate? Or has anyone else also accepted that they’re ugly and have learnt to live with it? I’m 15 so perhaps my face will change overtime, but for now I can just see myself getting fatter and uglier by the day because of my horrible thoughts, so no hope.

so recently i find out my male best friend of 3years has been ignoring me. I mean at first i thought he needs some time like cause he also has friends but every time we leave school I am who tries to find him and talk to him, I always try reach but not him. I am not trying to make this about myself cause even when we just stand next each other I feel like be does not want to talk to me and he knows about my difficulties with friends. And its not he does not talk to girls at all but its specifically me he is not talking to i feel very betrayed I'm not trying to act like a jealous female friend of some sort i just want to talk to me once again like we did in 8th grade. What should I do?

i am an autistic, agender sapphic, and i have huge struggles with trust issues and lack of confidence in relationships. for info, im 19, never ever dated in my life, not even kissed, and for the longest time i didn't care about it at all. but recently, I've been craving some sort of intimate affection. i want someone to cuddle, kiss, share kind words and feel safe with...

but i am also extremely scared of relationships. whenever i think of connecting with someone, my mind wanders to the worst. what if my autism,(lv2) is too much for my partner to deal with, and makes her feel like she's with a "grown child"? what if my lack of expressing feelings makes the relationship underwhelming, potentially making her leave or even cheat w someone better, more "normal"? what if, because my gender identity is so confusing, i end up being replaced by someone who's either more manly or more feminine than me?

my trust issues make connecting to people even harder. it's easier for me to start disliking someone than liking, bcs I'm too aware of everything. i wanna be more open, less scared of people, but doing this might make me vulnerable, and the thought of having my vulnerability weaponized against me for whatever reason is TERRIFYING.

so, that's basically it. if anyone else feels like this, or has advice, I'd really love it! i know therapy is the ideal way but the waiting line is really big, so there's little i can do now... anyway, have a wonderful day!

sometimes i wonder if my best friend is actually the best friend to have in life; it’s like, he’s always around, but does that really make him a good friend? i mean, yeah, we hang out a lot, laugh at stupid stuff, and even help each other when something urgent comes up, but when i really think about it, it feels like he’s only there because it’s convenient. he listens, sure, but it’s not like he truly understands or cares deeply about what i’m saying. sometimes i catch him zoning out mid-conversation, or worse, he changes the subject completely. i guess i can’t blame him too much, we’re all busy, but it makes me question if that’s what a best friend should be. it’s weird, right? shouldn’t the person you consider your closest friend be someone who genuinely wants to know what’s going on in your head?

on the flip side, i have to admit he’s reliable in certain ways, like he’ll always show up if i need to move stuff or fix something, and he’s pretty good with tech issues. but when it comes to emotional stuff or deeper support, he kinda just backs off, or says something like “bro, you’re overthinking it” which kinda stings, you know? there was this one time i really needed advice about a family problem, and he just shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal. i’m starting to realize that maybe he’s just the friend for fun times, not for deep talks or serious moments. it’s confusing, though, because i don’t want to cut him off, but i also don’t want to rely on someone who doesn’t fully support me. what do you think? have you ever felt like your so-called best friend wasn’t really the best person to lean on when it counted?

and it’s not like i’ve got a ton of friends either, so cutting ties feels a bit dramatic, but at the same time, i don’t want to be stuck in a one-sided relationship. sometimes i tell myself to just lower my expectations, to keep it light and casual, but then i feel fake because deep down i want more from a friendship. i can’t help but wonder if i’m the problem, if i’m expecting too much from someone who’s just not wired for that deep connection. is it wrong to want a friend who’s both fun and supportive? or is it just unrealistic to expect both from one person? i don’t know, man; maybe i’m just overthinking it, but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

So I'm at school right now and this week is my last full week of not only 8th grade or middle school but also my last full week at the school I've been at my whole life (past information: I moved to my state I'm in when I was 6 and been here more than most my life) Note: My school is Elementary and middle school (kindergarten-4th, 5th-8th) It's weird that I'm about to be at the end of a chapter in my life. am I even ready for this? I'm also scared to go into high-school cuz I'm worried I have to start fresh and make new friends which I struggled with when I first moved here. I don't want to lose the friends I've gained. but I'm excited because the people in the area are really nice and I love the high school. its like..I'm finally starting my life. for real this time......win or lose.

Bro, I need to get outta here. Like, fr, the second I turn 18, I’m gone. I can’t take livin with my parents anymore, all the stupid rules, all the nagging, all the "under my roof, my rules" BS. Like, okay, I get it, I’m still a kid technically, but damn, let me breathe. Everytime I do anything, it's a problem. Why u always on ur phone? Why u sleep so late? Where u goin? Who u texting? Like, chill?? I just wanna live my own life without feelin like I gotta report my every move. And don’t even get me started on the whole “you’re not ready for the real world” speech. Like, okay?? And whose fault is that?? Maybe if they let me actually do stuff instead of controlling everything, I’d know how to handle myself. But nah, they just wanna keep me stuck here forever. Not happening.

Only problem is… I kinda have no clue how to actually move out. Like, I know I need money, that’s obv, but rent is stupid expensive, and I don’t even have a full-time job yet. Been tryna save from my part-time job, but bro, what’s that gonna get me? A month of rent maybe and then what? And then there’s bills, food, furniture—like, damn, why is existing so expensive?? I thought about gettin a roommate, but idk anyone tryna move out yet. Plus, I lowkey don’t wanna end up livin with some weirdo off the internet, but at this point, I might have to. I just need my own space. Even if it’s some tiny apartment, idc. Just as long as it’s mine. Cuz right now? I feel like I got zero freedom. Can’t go out late, can’t bring people over, can’t even eat what I want without my mom actin like I just committed a crime. Like damn, let me eat ramen at 2AM in peace.

So yeah, I know moving out won’t be easy. I know I’m probly gonna be broke for a while, probly gonna regret it the first time I gotta pay for toilet paper with my own money. But honestly? Still worth it. I’d rather struggle on my own than keep feeling like I’m trapped in a house that don’t even feel like mine. I just gotta figure out the money part, maybe get a second job, maybe find some cheap place in a bad neighborhood, idk. But I’ll figure it out. Cuz one thing I do know? I’m not stayin here any longer than I have to.

i’ve been feeling pretty damn blue lately. like, you ever wake up and just feel that weight in your chest? yeah, that’s me every day at 31. life just feels like one big sad song, you know? it’s like a slow, dragging beat that never picks up. work is a grind, relationships are exhausting, and the future? yeah, doesn’t look too bright. sometimes i just sit and think, “what's the point of all this?” i mean, bills are piling up, and my social life? non-existent. it’s just me and my Netflix account, binge-watching shows that are way too relatable. i swear, sometimes i think i’m just one existential crisis away from throwing in the towel. maybe i should just start a self-help book club called “Let’s Complain About Life” or something; it’d probably be packed!

then there’s this constant vibe of not being good enough. like, you ever feel like everyone is moving ahead while you’re just stuck in quicksand? it’s no surprise i’m sipping on these sad lattes instead of something stronger. don’t get me wrong, i have friends, but they’re all busy living their lives, and i’m just here, scrolling through social media and feeling like an outsider looking in. “why do i bother?" is a question that pops into my head a lot. maybe that’s the issue - not even sure what’s next or if there's a next! it’s just exhausting trying to keep my head above water. i guess this is my moment to vent, huh? anyone else relate to this bluesy vibe? 😩

During our trip to Disneyland Paris, my family and I were reveling in the magical atmosphere when we decided to take a break for some ice cream. As we queued up to place our orders, a woman I will name Karen (of course!) cut in line, announcing arrogantly, "I'm more important, I have a FastPass." Although annoyed, we didn't confront her and tried to overlook the incident. However, things quickly escalated when Karen began berating the service staff in English—a language the young employee was evidently not proficient in.

Karen angrily scolded the server, exclaiming, "You've completely messed up, you idiot! I asked for a VANILLA ice cream, assuming it’s vegan. But this has dairy! I’m allergic to dairy!" Her companion, Jack, chimed in with his own insults, demanding the server to "Do your bloody job properly!" This outburst not only disrupted the calm but deeply upset the employee, who eventually broke down in tears and had to call in a translator to communicate properly with the irate guests.

It was disheartening to witness such entitlement and disrespect, especially when everyone else was patiently trying to order in French or politely indicating their inability to do so. The altercation marred our experience, overshadowing the otherwise enjoyable day with a sense of discomfort and sympathy for the mistreated staff member.

Thinking back on this event, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if this scenario were part of a reality TV show. Would the presence of cameras have intensified Karen and Jack's outrageous behavior, or might the public scrutiny have curbed their disrespect? It’s intriguing to consider whether the potential for a global audience would escalate their theatrics or encourage them to adopt a more civil approach.

How do you think Karen and Jack would have acted if they were on a reality show?

Why is my laptop being weird 😔 it's like someone is watching me I'm just scared that they might do something stupid it's like they just wanna see me like wth and and am I just paranoid but why do they wanna see me and do stupid sht to my laptop but whenever I double check they dont do anything it's like they just want to watch me talk on cam. Ugghhhhhhh.

How am I supposed to like you when you yelled at me just for being excited about something? So this might seem a bit dramatic but I’m sick of my dad so much..

Anyway I’m downstairs talking about school since I start in a week, talking about my classes and supplies and just looking at my old drawings from last year. So I wanted to show my mom and get her approval because that’s what any normal kid does. And I’m talking all excited and he cuts me off saying, “what time is it?”. Uhm… couldn’t you have waited? It’s not that big of a deal but it just hurt a bit? It shows you don’t like me and don’t respect what I have to say.. I’m just a big over thinker and have diagnosed anxiety so that might be it? So I’m still talking because you aren’t going to interrupt me?? I was talking first. And then my mom replied to him saying “maybe like 1 minute.” And then I keep talking after she said that since I assumed he heard her, but then he goes “what did you say!?” Like really loud while I was talking AGAIN. So I’m obviously a bit annoyed, can’t you see I’m talking to her?? About something I’m excited about.. and my mom is annoyed so she yells “1 minute!” And I was still talking then, so he just yells at me, “I can’t hear what you’re fucking saying because (name) keeps fucking talking!” Uhmmm that hurt…? You didn’t need to yell at me so I just went quiet and walked away with my drawing and ended up throwing it out since that bothered me so much. Idk but this just bothered me because I never hangout with them and now when I do I just get cursed at.

Anyway this was yesterday and I wanted to have a nice day, make pizza and just be all happy. And I’m getting the stuff ready for it and he keeps pestering me, and I tell him to stop because I didn't like it, speaking CALMLY. But he just laughed at me so I yelled to make him take me seriously.. I don’t like raising my voice so why do you make me? Anyway. So this is when we are finally making pizzas and I’m happy because my mom’s with me for a couple of seconds just alone. And he comes over and the whole mood goes out, it’s now annoyance and thick.. like a storm cloud covering the sun. So yeah my mom finished making her pizza and I did the same. And he says, “your pizza looks really nice, can you make mine?” This is supposed to be something nice that I made up. So my mom goes, “no.” And then my dad says, “why?” In a laughing tone that pisses me off. And my mom says, “because you said it like a child who just wants his way, are you that lazy that you can’t make your own pizza?” And obviously she’s had a hard day and she nannies all the time. So he just laughs and it was a weird annoyed laughter that just throws me off.. so I finished my pizza quickly and the ovens ready, and he’s the only one not done taking 10 minutes just to do it.. when my mom and me are done waiting for him, who’s taking his sweet old time. So my mom yells at him, “can you hurry up? We are waiting for you.” And he just yells at her, “what the fuck do you mean!? I’m fucking doing it!” Uhm don’t yell at my mom. You aren’t a man. You’re just a leech. And I keep remembering vividly me coming home from school to him hitting her while she was begging him on her knees crying. Begging him to stop hitting her. She’s strong enough to fight back, but she doesn’t want to hurt him so she just SITS THERE DOING NOTHING. And the way I cowardly ran to my room doing homework on my bed through tears by hearing her cry. I’ll never forgive him, never forget, and never ever stop hating him. He’s a fucking monster and doesn’t deserve to live. If he can hurt my mom he can hurt me. And he’s hurt my dog before. He hit my dog repeatedly and that poor dog is scared of him. Scared of being hit. And I’m scared that he’ll shove his hand in my mouth again and throw my chewed up food against the wall.

So yes, I fucking hate my dad and I won’t EVER talk to him. I won’t forgive him. And I won’t tell him how I feel because I’m just a coward. And I’m scared he’ll hit me. I can fight back but I’m only 13, I can’t do much for a middle school girl. But I sure as hell will make sure he won’t hurt my mom ever again. I’ll make him never be able to hurt her. I’ll turn our family into a case on the news if he tries.

I have a longstanding friendship with Jill, stretching back over two decades, and we're part of a larger circle of friends, about 15-20 strong. We've developed a tradition where different members of our group take turns hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for those of us remaining in town each year. Ever since Jill adopted a vegan lifestyle a decade ago, our group has made it a point to include vegan options, like tofurkey, alongside one side dish and one dessert specifically for her at these gatherings.

This year, however, brought a new twist. Jill excitedly volunteered to host Thanksgiving at her house for the first time. Initially, we were all supportive, but then she announced in our group chat that the entire meal would be strictly vegan. Some of us, respectful of her choices but still wanting traditional elements like turkey, suggested bringing non-vegan dishes. Jill was adamant, countering with claims that vegan food “tastes exactly the same” as non-vegan food. I beg to differ, based on past experiences at her house where I’ve tried various dishes, from bean burgers to a type of vegan chocolate cake, which she claimed were indistinguishable from their traditional counterparts.

After some thought and a discussion with my husband, we decided to respectfully decline her invitation. I was honest with her about our preference for a traditional Thanksgiving meal, expressing no desire for deceit such as feigning out-of-town travel plans. Since our conversation, Jill’s demeanor has shifted noticeably; she's become increasingly irritated. She even lamented to other friends that I was boycotting her dinner purely because she was hosting.

This sentiment isn't entirely inaccurate but didn't sit right with me, so I clarified to the others that despite our efforts over the years to accommodate her dietary choices, it felt unjust for her to demand that everyone conform to her vegan diet at this event. This sparked a shift in group dynamics, as several friends then aligned with my perspective and opted to organize an alternative Thanksgiving gathering, which my husband and I also decided to skip.

Admittedly, my husband believes it might have been wiser to fabricate a small white lie or avoid sharing the full extent of my reasoning with the other women. For now, I’ve chosen to distance myself from the ensuing drama, though Jill seems to hold me responsible for the unraveling of her plans.

If one were to frame this as an episode in a reality TV show, the drama and tension might have made for sensational viewing, playing up the clash between lifestyle choices and personal friendships. With cameras rolling, audiences would be drawn into the back-and-forth, perhaps even taking sides based on personal dietary beliefs or their views on respecting others' choices. The dynamic would add an interesting layer of public opinion to the mix, influencing whose actions are perceived as justifiable or inconsiderate.

I can't help but wonder, am I wrong for turning down a vegan Thanksgiving?

I was sitting on my bed, just sitting there. My cat came up to me while I was watching a YT vid (the click btw) and she started to attack my phone. I'd like to make it clear that I haven't hurt her, not even when I did this, I have dropped her from my bed (a bunk bed) but she never seemed affected and I only did that when she tore down the blanket I hung from my ceiling for privacy. When she attacked my phone, without much thought I flipped her. Like, I kinda pushed her away but she flipped onto her back. I can't remember how rough I was but she seemed fine and just layed down afterwards. I immediately grabbed her and put her on my stomach and started petting her as a silent apology. But this made me realize that i keep doing things like that I could start hurting her and I would hate to do that because she's just a small kitten. She's just doing what cats do. I feel really bad but that's not an excuse. Please, I would love to hear any feedback on what you think of this and what I could do to keep myself from letting my annoyance turn me into a monster. This poor kitty (her name is MJ) doesn't deserve to be the outlet for my anger and I really just don't know what to do or think about how I've treated her. She's laying on my chest while I type this out but I still feel like a piece of crap.