Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

What's a great advice to keep in touch with your long distance friends?

4, I have had a total of 4 friends who have either cut, or cut currently. I dont know why but for some reason i feel as if it is my fault. I feel like if i had just stepped up i could have helped them. At one point i attempted to cut myself, but someone walked in, luckly, they didn't see me. I am the youngest of 4 in my family, and feel as though i have to do something different, as most of my siblings have done/are doing great things. I feel the wieght of all their success on my shoulders, and i can still hear every hurtful thing they have ever said repeating in my head, but it isnt just theirs, but every single hurtful thing i have ever heard. I constantly tell myself that i am not good enough and i have had others say the same to my face and, quite literally, behind my back. I have gone through years of bullying and i cry myself to sleep most nights. I also don't think my trauma is important enough so i dont share to my friends or family. My dad, siblings, and ex made me insecure about talking to much, and a girl named Harlow Curry made me insecure about being fat and ugly. I tell myself they were simply telling the truth, and that it isnt their fault. Everything that has ever happened to me, someone else has a worse story and makes mine sound fine, they say that mental abuse doesn't count as abuse, but i attempted suicide once and people still dont care. I have started to agree with them and now every second of every day there is a voice saying that i am not good enough and that my trauma doesn't matter, and finally, that everything bad is always my fault, yes, even things out of my control. But it also say that everything good i have done doesn't matter.

I have no idea what to do. Like, I swear, my brain has been looping this same question over and over for weeks, and I still don’t have an answer. Do I break up with him? Or do I stay? I keep going back and forth. One minute I feel so sure that I need to end it, that I can’t do this anymore, that I’m just not happy. But then the second I actually think about saying the words out loud, I freak out. What if I regret it? What if this is a huge mistake? What if I let go of something that I’ll never find again? I feel like no matter what I do, I’m gonna end up hurting—either I stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right anymore, or I leave and then spend months wondering if I made the worst decision of my life. And yeah, okay, maybe I’m being dramatic, but it feels dramatic. It feels like my whole world is balancing on this one choice and no matter which way I go, I’m gonna mess something up.

It’s not like he’s a bad boyfriend. He’s actually really sweet. He tells me he loves me, he texts me good morning and good night, he’s never done anything to hurt me. So why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like something is missing? I keep thinking that maybe I just got too used to him, that maybe I’m just bored, and that’s a me problem, not a him problem. But at the same time, shouldn’t I be excited to be with my boyfriend? Shouldn’t I want to text him, to spend time with him, to tell him things? Lately, I just… don’t. I see his name pop up on my phone and instead of getting happy, I feel tired. And I hate that. Because he doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who isn’t fully into it. But then I think about actually telling him, about actually breaking up, and it hurts. Like, I can already imagine his face, the way he’ll look at me, like I just shattered his whole world. And the idea of being the reason he’s sad? The reason he’s heartbroken? I don’t think I can handle that.

And then there’s the whole what if I never find someone else? part. I mean, sure, I’m only 15, I know that logically there are gonna be other people in my life. But what if no one else ever treats me as good as he does? What if I’m just being selfish and expecting some unrealistic movie kind of love that doesn’t even exist? What if I leave and then realize I just ruined something that could have lasted forever? And then I think about being single and it terrifies me. Not just the being alone part, but the whole starting over part. The thought of having to meet someone new, go through all the awkward first conversations, figuring out if we even like each other, getting used to a whole different person’s way of texting, of talking, of being… it sounds exhausting. And at least with my boyfriend, I know him. I know how he is, I know how to be around him, I know he loves me. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe I don’t need butterflies or whatever, maybe I just need to appreciate what I have. But what if I’m just forcing myself to stay because I’m scared of leaving? And if that’s the case, isn’t that kinda worse?

I wish someone could just tell me what to do. I wish I could fast forward to a year from now and see if I’m happier if I break up with him or if I’ll just be sitting there, crying over what I lost. But I don’t get to know that. I just have to decide. And I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’m ready. But how long can I keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not?

so my parents keep asking me to leave the house and start my own life, but honestly, i can barely get out of bed in the morning. i’m not lazy or anything, i just feel stuck, like there’s a weight on me that won’t budge. i wake up, look at my phone, and realize there’s nothing waiting for me except a long list of things i don’t want to do. it’s not depression or anything—at least i don’t think so—but it’s like i’m in this weird limbo where i know what i should be doing but i just can’t bring myself to start. i’m 21 and my parents are right, i can’t just keep lying here, but the thought of job applications or interviews just makes me want to roll over and pull the covers back up. it’s not that i don’t care; it’s more that i don’t know how to care anymore, you know? 😕

some mornings, i set my alarm and i’m determined to get up early, maybe make some breakfast, even go for a run or something. but when that alarm goes off, my brain just shuts it out, like “what’s the point?” i tell myself i’ll get up in five minutes, but then it’s noon and i’m still scrolling on my phone. my parents come in, knock on my door, and start their usual speeches about responsibility and adulthood and how i need to contribute to the world. i nod along because they’re not wrong, but i just can’t seem to find the motivation. it’s like my body’s in bed but my mind’s trapped somewhere else, somewhere far away from all this.

i think the hardest part is feeling like i’ve already failed before i’ve even started. i see my friends posting about new jobs, internships, moving out of their parents’ houses, and i’m just here wondering how they even found the energy to get dressed. it’s not jealousy exactly, more like confusion. how do they do it? how do they make it look so easy to just get up and go? i wish someone would explain the secret, because it feels like i missed the memo or skipped the part of life where you learn how to deal with responsibilities. i don’t want to be the guy who never leaves his parents’ house, but i also don’t know how to change that. 😩

so yeah, how do you get out of bed in the morning when everything feels heavy and pointless? is there some trick i’m missing? i know it’s not just me feeling like this, but it feels like everyone else figured it out except me. i want to start living my own life, get my own place, have something to look forward to, but every morning i wake up and it’s like i’ve hit the snooze button on my own future. maybe tomorrow will be different, but maybe it won’t. i don’t know. do you? 🤔

I hate when people I work with repeat the same phrase or words every time. I’m not complaining, but when someone says, does this person has this or this person has that it makes me feel like I’m not listening which I am. I am listening. Also, every time I’m trying to speak they keep interrupting me as well and it drives me insane. It feels like I’m not being heard again. and once more, it’s during something very stressful like I don’t need to tell them anything, but I need to say this so that they can understand. Why does this stressful not repeating? Does this person have this? Does this person have that I want to yell them they don’t need that, but I can’t or else I’ll lose my job. Sometimes I just want them to know that I am trying my best, but you don’t need to ask the same damn question every time.

I am the 2nd youngest in a family of 6 siblings. ik i can be somewhat clumsy and forgetfull. but that doesn't make it okay for my mother to predetermine my future. i have things i like. coding, architecture, arts, musics, throw me whatever i like, i will somehow able to cram and learn. but hello???? why you're forcing me to take artificial intelligence course like ur life depended on it???? i mean, there's a lot whole of other things that i can willingly pursue?? in fact, i also excell and honestly love chemistry and physics. sure sure ai will prevail in the future etc. but i swear to god, i have wide range of interest and you gotta force me to take something out of that range????? this is a silly story honestly. but still the way my mom talk stressed me??? also the fact that she started to talk shit bout my school??? you see, i am kinda admitted into a gifted school that measures ur iq etc etc. and she's saying like "oh you're not gifted, in fact, the students in ur school are mentally unstable. that's why you're blablabla because you're exposed to them" YE I KNOW. but why you gotta phrase it like that? it pisses me off so bad bcuz some of my friends, no honestly, most of my friends have adhd, polar etc etc mental unstability. in all honesty, they're all very good friends. its just that they have radical thoughts and way of thinking. but they truly make me learn goddamn lot of things. i love them. so don't shittalk them on my face!!!!! gaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

aight thats all from me :)

for context i’m a teenager and was trying to make plans with my best friend yesterday, but she didn’t respond for the entire day (very unlike her) so i was confused and texted her again to just come over the next day if she wanted since i had nothing to do and would probably be at home all day. she dropped by and told me after a few minutes of talking that she hadn’t replied to me last night since she was going to our mutual friends decent sized house party and “didn’t want me to feel jealous.” i was honestly a little hurt and shocked that she would say that, but she said it so casually so i laughed it off. she proceeded to tell me all these crazy details about how fun this party that i wasn’t invited to was. i’ve never rlly been to a real party before (only small get-togethers in basements and that type of thing) and after she left i was just so hurt that she or our other friend wouldn’t invite me, or at the very least just not describe it to me in detail when she knows i have never been to something like that. she’s not a huge party person either though (doesn’t wanna drink) so i’ve been wondering if i’m just overreacting and being a baby or if she was being a jerk. any opinions appreciated

I had a best friend but I drifted apart from her. We were friends for over 17 years, basically since we both joined school. But as the years went by I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by her behaviors and actions as she never used to share important stuffs about herself with me but others would know ( such as I was the only one in our friend group who did not know that she was going abroad for her higher studies ). Not only that, sometimes she used to tell me that I can't / shouldn't talk to her for a month because our exams were coming up but she used to talk to everyone else. These kinds of things made me doubt about our friendship but then sometimes she used to show signs that she cared about me such as once she showed me letter that I gave her in grade 7 and told me that she still keeps it with her all the time. After she went away I tried communicating with her but she never reciprocated the same energy. So I stopped trying, for which we drifted apart. When she came over for summer vacation this year she asked my other friends regarding me but never directly asked me. Despite all of these stuffs, I still miss her dearly, I sometimes wonder if it's completely my fault or not that our friendship broke. I wish I could fix it but I don't know how to as it has already been over a year since we stopped talking.

I have an elder brother named Michael, who has long struggled with social boundaries due to his learning disabilities. Despite being in his 40s, Michael has rarely left home and never held a job, leading to him having no friends. He has a brusque personality which often takes over family gatherings, where he dominates discussions with his incessant "fun facts," oblivious to whether anyone is interested.

My siblings and I have always had a strained relationship with Michael, primarily because our parents allow him to overshadow any social event he's part of. This behavior was one of the reasons behind my older sister’s decision to elope; my mother persistently tried to carve out a significant role for Michael at her wedding.

Now, as I plan my wedding to my fiancée Mel, the issue of Michael’s involvement has resurfaced. Nick, my youngest brother, will be my best man, while my sister and her husband are also playing major roles in the event. My wife-to-be is adamant about having a traditional wedding, unlike my sister who felt forced to elope.

From the outset, Michael criticized the engagement ring I chose for Mel, bombarding us with unnecessary "fun facts" about how diamonds are overpriced and suggesting I should have opted for a cheaper, second-hand ring instead. His relentless lecture on the history of engagement rings really tested our patience, yet our mother simply chuckled and encouraged him, calling him "the professor."

Mel decided then that Michael could not attend our wedding, insisting that if my parents defended his behavior, they would also be uninvited. She is determined not to let our wedding be overshadowed like my sister’s was.

When discussing wedding plans with my mother, I had to remind her of the shopping incident that pushed my sister to elope: Michael had tagged along and gave a prolonged, unsolicited tutorial on wedding dresses. I made it clear that Michael was not invited and that if my parents wished to attend, they would have to respect our decision.

The conversation did not go well. My father tried to argue that Michael’s chatter was harmless, but I firmly explained that it was the exact reason why people avoid him. Eventually, our discussion hit a deadlock, and I ended the call, uncertain if any of my family would attend.

Since then, my mother has been frantically messaging everyone, trying to paint me as the villain for excluding Michael. Mel and I are in agreement; my brother's presence, and possibly even my parents', would disrupt our special day.

If our family drama were part of a reality show, I can only imagine how the audience might react. Producers might spotlight the situation, presenting it as a classic case of family conflict. Cameras would likely capture every dramatic disagreement, possibly casting me in a harsh light for excluding a family member with disabilities. However, they could also showcase the tensions that arise from managing family relationships in special events, sparking debates on the balance between accommodating relatives and maintaining one's boundaries for their mental peace and happiness.

I'll try to keep this short... No promises...

I'll start out by saying... My family live so far under the poverty line, we have to skip out on food if we want clothes, and skip out on both if we want anything remotely 'decently priced' for the 'normalized' household as of where I live. It's a miracle we even have a home phone at this rate.

Anyways... About a month ago, when my family finally thought everything was finally looking good (not terribly shit, but not very good. Just good for our standards...), my mom got deathly sick. We were calling an ambulance every night for a week, and they wouldn't let us stay for the night. Not even just my mom. During one of her stays, she was pumped with SO MUCH FUCKING MORPHINE, IT WAS LITERALLY ABOVE OVERDOSE LEVELS. It didn't do a fucking thing for her pain. It was only the fifth stay that they finally even uttered the thought of going for a scan after a literal decade of my mother trying to explain to the doctors that she needs a scan done (she's the daughter of a missionary [not involved with the military] nurse [who didn't do anything for her sicknesses, but would for everyone else]).

When the scan came in, turns out her lower back is broken and pinching nerves on her left. The cartilage has been worn and torn down over years of abuse and wear.

Even though I had a cold at the time, and having just cut my hand open with a wood carving knife in class, I walked halfway across town (hour walk) to get her meds that may or may not work.

Thankfully, they do work, but unfortunately, only a little bit. After another couple days of suffering, screaming, and crying in pain at home, we call another ambulance, and the pharmacist, explaining the situation.

We get her stronger meds (enough to make the pharmacist give us overdose kits) and they kind of work finally.

Can you guess what else is happening with all of this? A friend of hers has been hitting on her the whole time, before and after. My mother has a fiance, and he knows it.

I cannot explain how much I hate this friend of hers. He helps out a little bit, but other than that, all I hear is constant sexual jokes or comments, and I can't handle it anymore. Every guy friend anyone has had in this family, always gets a crush on one of us, or is horny. And God forbid we get any female friends. It's basically impossible.

Might I add... This same 'horny' male friend of my mom... Even commented about me. I'm still a minor. This man is in his fifties. I cannot express how much I want to stop my mom every time he sends her a text to hangout, or calls to hangout.

So... Practically dying mom, stressed out brother whose trying to find a job/ join the army with much difficulty, and a fifty year old man hitting on my mom, and sometimes commenting about me, making me just want to puke. Sounds lovely. I can't even express this though. My mom is already dealing with all the mental problems that comes with being abused since childhood, and now her broken back. I can't talk to my brother because he's not exactly strong mentally, and I don't mean to make him sound bad, but he's not the best with the kind of comfort I need. No therapists have worked, and now all I can do is sit quietly with a happy little smile while I watch life crumble before me. No meds work, no comfort food works, no comfort drinks work, no comfort activities work. And the things that do work? We can't afford them.

I just want to cry, to scream, to punch something. But I literally just can't. I don't do well with pain, I hate screaming because then someone will hear me, and crying just doesn't make anything better. It only makes it worse in my case. Trust me, I've already tried crying.

It's been about a month of all of this, and a certain someone who we helped out not too long ago (a homeless woman) has come back to say hi. The only problem... She went against every rule we had, took whatever she wanted really, even my own meds that keep me from getting sick and having a seizure. She did crack on the front porch, was basically a whore when she went elsewhere, and now that she's back... She leaves all her shit in front of our windows.

Might I add in... We live in a God damn apartment building. She was warned multiple times, and we have kicked others out for doing this same shit even after being told and given chances.

And let me tell you... This isn't even the tip of the iceberg in my life... I just needed to get this one out. I'm finally getting pushed over the edge here.

Hello,

I am currently in university and I am so fucking tired of this shit. My hobbies don’t feel like hobbies; they aren’t fun because I always compare myself to others and wish I was better. I can’t stop comparing myself to others, I am plagued by my past mistakes and actions that I have done. It’s an endless struggle of self worth and image.

For reference, I got diagnosed with autism this semester, and a lot of struggles that I faced make a lot of sense. I struggle with rage and meltdowns, and a lot of apathy. There are times where I wonder if doing anything is worth it. I want to be creative but I get burnt out so easily and won’t do anything creative for months. It’s horrible.

My self image is at rock bottom. I can’t help but worry about what I eat, and how many calories it is. I constantly worry about being fat. For context, I have never been skinny but I have never been fat either. I powerlift now and am pretty buff (I like looking masculine because I am afab nonbinary). But I still can’t help but body check and wish that I was more lean so that my muscles would be more defined. I hate, hate my body, and I hate my breasts. They aren’t that big, maybe a B, but I fucking hate them so fucking much.

People say that exercising helps with mental health. I’ve been an athlete my whole life and it seems like every year my mental health just gets worse.

And I feel so fucking ungrateful for everything. I feel like a brat because I should appreciate this life that I have been granted, but my brain pretty much only focuses on the negative.

I guess I just want to know if there is any way to relieve this pain, this emptiness that I feel when I am driving home after a long day and I want to cry but I can’t. Or if it just gets worse after university.

Hello to all the beautiful people out there!!! So I have been in a relationship for the past 6 plus years and I have known my boyfriend for decades like we're childhood friends. I do love him as of now, but as time went by I think i'm falling out of it. The reason behind all these is the disturbance of my mental piece by this girl and my beloved bf. After we made it official we were so happy, I was so happy, although he used to talk about his exes a lot. But I didn't object ever, because it was his emotion which he wanted to share with me.

So there's one of his girl "friends" he used to talk to and just last year I got to know that she likes him, she describes him as "love at first site" ( I felt like vomiting). After knowing this I immediately felt uncomfortable with her and I told my partner to never talk to her again and keep his distance. But after agreeing with all I told him, he did absolutely the opposite, he talked to her and deleted all their text so I can't read them, I mean WOW just WOW. We fought over this many times and he eventually stopped.

Here comes the twisted part I'm confused as hell, though he stopped to talk to her in general, but he always sends her text on insta after HE IS DRUNK. I mean wth dude, and deletes it, I'm so frustrated right now, last night it happened again, we had a little get together and he was drunk, I know his insta password so there was nothing that time, and I forgot to logout. This morning I woke up and saw the incoming text on insta it was her reply, which means he deleted the text he sent already. I feel like vomiting and crying at the same time, idk if its cheating or betrayal. My god people help me out here.

And she is a bitch, she keeps coming back to him even after I told her how I feel.

Soo, I have digital photo class for my final I have to submit photos, whatever, I pick my sister as my model.. Today, was a busy day, so I decided to take pictures outside @ 8 pm. I’m always aware of my surroundings, checking every car that drives past as I hide my camera( don’t wanna get mugged🙄🙄) but this guy drives past and I can sense he stopped by not looking and all I hear is “period bitch” trying to be cheeky and stuff. mind you my sister is 13. And it might sound like a compliment but it was uncomfortable for her. He probably thought she was older. But I’m just sharing this bc I need to get it off my chest. I told my mom and her she was like “that’s why I didn’t want yall outside” should’ve taken her word. But for me I think this just a trauma thing for me. I seen women get catcalled online or either in person. And it has taking a toll on what I dress, not liking tight shirts and stuff, thinking it was drawing attention which it shouldn’t.. (for anyone wondering why I took pictures outside late was bc of my theme for my photo, Polaroid nostalgia)

I've been dying to write a singer-songwriter style song for a LONG time now

so here we go

I only have a chorus

here it is:

you say, you say,

"Everything's gonna be

okay okay"

Like you've done this before

But you ain't done this before

So don't say, don't say,

Cause nothing will be

okay, okay

Cause you ain't done this before

And I ain't done this before

And I also want there to be a part that goes:

And now I long to see

What do you still see in me?

But I'm struggling with the verses

so If I get something good I'll post it here bc my IRL friends are tried of hearing me yap abt my songs-

After a decade-long split from my former spouse, who is also the father of our two children, I find myself in a continually complex co-parenting scenario. During the later stages of my second pregnancy, his behavior deviated increasingly toward that of a younger, more carefree individual without family responsibilities. He prioritized socializing over spending time with our family, so much so that his friends habitually expected me to pick him up post-gatherings as if I was his caretaker.

Initially, he fought for equal custody of our children but was granted limited visitation instead. However, he gradually took on more responsibility, earning him 50% custody rights. Around this time, he had a child with another woman and seemed to take a more mature approach to fatherhood, even gaining full custody of this child. He later remarried, and they had two children, besides partially supporting two other non-biological children.

Our relationship improved slightly until his second marriage began to falter, making things between us strain once again. His expectations began to stretch beyond reasonable boundaries, transforming my role from co-parent of our mutual children into an almost communal parent figure for his broader family. He would bring his other children during custody swaps, hoping for interaction between all siblings, and made frequent requests for me to babysit or ensure that clothes and school supplies from our children were shared with his others. His demands culminated recently with accusations of me not purchasing enough back-to-school supplies for not just our two children, but all five under his roof. This built tension and he implied I managed our responsibilities poorly by not supporting his other children financially, which I firmly rejected, stating my obligations are only towards our shared children.

His perspective is that, because the children are all part of the same household part-time, I should also co-parent them equally. I disagreed, arguing that my financial and parental duty extends only to our biological children, not his others, which led to further disputes about our responsibilities and the nature of our co-parental duties.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the dynamics and arguments could be made even more intense and public, drawing wide speculation and opinions from viewers. The blend of family drama and personal disputes could potentially become a central storyline, generating a mix of sympathy, judgement, and critique from the audience. Would the public view my insistence on setting boundaries as rational, or would they perceive me as unhelpful and callous towards the children’s unified family experience?