Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Over the past couple of years, I've been assisting my sister, Emily, with caring for her two young children. This arrangement started during the pandemic when both she and her husband found themselves overwhelmed with managing remote work and looking after their kids. At that time, it felt natural to offer my help without expecting anything in return, considering the circumstances and the family bond we shared.

However, life has since returned to normal, and we're both back to our regular routines with demanding jobs and personal commitments. Despite this change, Emily continues to expect that I would babysit at least once a week, often more. What troubles me is her lack of acknowledgment; there's never any offer of payment, and not even a simple word of appreciation. It seems like she's taken my willingness for granted, assuming I'd always be available.

Last week, I reached my limit and expressed to Emily that I could no longer provide free babysitting services. I explained that if she needed my help, it should be reciprocated either through payment or with gratitude. Her response was far from understanding—she accused me of being selfish and insisted that family should always be ready to help each other without expecting anything back.

I believe in family support, but it feels like I'm being exploited. All I'm asking for is some recognition for my time and effort, or maybe even a break now and then from this commitment. Emily's reaction has been to stop speaking to me, and our parents are pressuring me to apologize just to smooth things over.

Honestly, this whole situation has left me wondering if setting these boundaries makes me unreasonable. It makes me think about how this could play out if it were part of a reality TV show, where family dynamics are on full display. Would viewers sympathize with my need for appreciation, or would they side with Emily, viewing my requests as unnecessary family drama?

I'm curious, what do you think?

I have two elder sisters, both in their 30s, while I'm the youngest, still enjoying my 20s. Mother's Day was approaching, and they proposed a lunch outing, intending to divide the expenses by three. Lee and Megan, my sisters, each have two children, all well beyond toddler age, the eldest nearing 18. Given past incidents where their kids dug into the meal but were absent from the bill, I raised a concern about this division method. I suggested accounting for the kids in the split, which did not sit well with them. They dismissed my thoughts as confrontational, and somehow, the matter reached my mom, who sided with them, as tends to happen.

To add some perspective, this isn’t the first time I've been financially inconvenient due to their oversight. A previous family trip ended with me paying for one-third of the total expenses, despite my sister's family (including her husband and kids) greatly outnumbering me. My mom knew it was unfair but pleaded for me not to raise the issue to avoid conflicts. I maintained my peace then, but it’s becoming increasingly challenging to keep silent.

Now the question popping in my mind is whether I'm unreasonable to desire a fairer method to split the bill, considering I am only responsible for my and mom's costs.

Now, imagine if such a dispute unfolded on a reality TV show, with cameras catching every argument and reaction. The audience might view the family dynamics differently, perhaps siding with me or maybe criticizing my approach as petty. Reality TV thrives on drama and conflict, and this situation seems ripe for on-screen entertainment. Would the viewers understand my point, or would they see me as someone causing unnecessary drama over a few extra dollars?

I’m curious how people would have reacted if this was all played out in front of an audience. Would they think it fair to include the kids in the bill, or am I just being too stingy over what they might see as a minor issue?

My husband cheated with his ex wife before we got married. I found out about a month before the wedding. I went ahead with the marriage because I was blindly in love. They have to talk all the time because they have a young child. I'm ok most of the time but when I have to be around his ex at sports, birthday parties, ect. It weighs on my mind. I start to scrutinize their every interaction.Last week, I was at their daughter's ball game and when she got a runner out, he looked toward his ex to share that moment with her. I've decided to quit going to going to games and this has made him mad. I also compare myself to her. She's taller, thinner, and younger. They have a friendly relationship and it eats me up. He says it's just for their daughters sake. His daughter is 8 and still sucks her thumb. We argue about this too. I want her to stop but it g do odd t bother him. I said it was embarrassing to be with her in public. He says I have mental problems and I'm being immature. What are your thoughts and or suggestions.

My parents began their journey as foster care providers when I was just 6 years old, with my younger brother being only 3. It was a normal part of my life; many of the kids who stayed with us got along well with me and my family. That is until we met a girl named Amber when I was in the second grade.

Amber was the new kid in my class, and for some reason, we rubbed each other the wrong way from the start. I heard from classmates that she was upset with me, despite us knowing each other for only a few days. I figured if she could be mad at me for no reason, then I had every right to be mad at her. As time went on, our relationship only worsened. By the third grade, she was bullying me—heaving my lunch to the ground, fabricating stories that I had gas issues to embarrass me, and even declaring to our teacher that she refused to sit next to "freaky eye," in reference to a scar I have near my left eye. This only fueled further taunts, comparing me to Scar from The Lion King, making me increasingly self-conscious about the scar.

Aware of these issues, my parents were often called into school meetings to address her bullying behavior. In one surprising twist, I discovered that Amber was a foster child. And then, when we were both 10, my parents made the decision to adopt her. Friends and family asked if I was okay with this decision. My parents told them I was on board and eager to assist Amber in settling in. This was far from the truth. I was devastated and opposed the idea vehemently, but my objections fell on deaf ears.

My brother was not fond of Amber either, particularly because she had manipulated him against me a number of times at school. My parents, however, saw my resistance as the reason Amber and my brother weren't close, placing the blame squarely on me. The situation escalated when I was 15, culminating in a fierce argument where I expressed my refusal to ever see Amber as a true sibling, no matter the legal ties. I accused my parents of choosing her needs over my well-being and expressed regret that anyone ever cared for her, given her continuous torment toward me. Following yet another conflict a year after, I moved in with my grandparents. My attempts to maintain a relationship with my parents dwindled, and I openly criticized them for falsely claiming that I supported the adoption of Amber. This led to others viewing them differently, which they confronted me about recently. Their visit resulted in a heated exchange about the past, with them labeling my views as selfish, and me remaining firm that they had indeed chosen Amber over me.

Imagine if this family debacle unfolded on a reality TV show, where every argument and harsh word was broadcasted for entertainment. Would viewers be sympathetic to my plight, or would they side with my parents in their decision to adopt Amber despite our rocky past? Such a setting might amplify the drama and the complex emotions involved.

IK EEP FUMBLING WHEN TALKING GRHRHRHHHGHGH GHGHHHHHHHH TS PMO WE'RE LIKE COLLEAGUES OR COWORKERS AND PEERS AND FRIENDS AND SCHOOLMATES AND LIKE I CANT EVEN TALK TO BRO IM GONNA CRASH OUT

In January of this year, I went out clubbing with my boyfriend and an ex-friend. When we arrived, my boyfriend asked my ex-friend if she had an edible, and she gave him one. He consumed half of it, usually less than what he usually takes because he is attentive to us. He would normally eat a whole edible, sometimes even two. My friend and I pre-gamed as usual and went into the club. About 30 minutes later, my boyfriend said he needed to go to the bathroom. About half an hour passed, and he never returned, so we started calling and texting him and eventually went looking for him. We found him semi-conscious and very sick in a bathroom stall. He asked to be left alone to throw up and said he’d be okay.

At that point, my ex-friend began to panic about how we would get him home and started texting her boyfriend. I introduced them to each other, and they had only been dating for about two months at the time of this incident. He was not supportive and essentially blamed her for the situation. He said this was the "consequences of our actions" and screenshotted their conversation. She started crying, saying she "hates when he gets like this." I tried to help her communicate with him but realized it was no use, so I reached out to a separate friend who agreed to pick us up. Meanwhile, the club’s security saw that my boyfriend was not doing well and gave him water. Eventually, he made it outside on his own and continued throwing up. I checked in with him, and he told me to go back in and enjoy the night, so I tried to relax a bit while waiting for our ride. During that time, my ex-friend didn’t say anything supportive and stayed cold and distant. I will admit I got upset in the heat of the moment and called her a bitch, but I instantly apologized because I realized she was probably hurt over her boyfriend's actions.

Once our ride arrived, we left. My boyfriend threw up a bit more, but after getting food, he started to feel much better. We ensured he didn’t drive, and everyone got home safely. On the way home, my ex-friend said she was canceling all her birthday plans (her b-day was the following weekend), including with her boyfriend, and didn’t want to celebrate anymore. The next day, I sent a message to both of them apologizing if I had said or done anything wrong while drunk and expressed how glad I was that we made safe choices. My boyfriend responded, took accountability, and we worked through it. My ex-friend, however, ghosted me and never responded. She remained active on social media the whole time but ignored me. Her boyfriend contacted me asking if I had heard from her, which I didn't, but I told him I would let him know. About two days later, she finally replied saying she didn’t think things between us would ever be the same. She claimed she felt alone that night, had to be responsible for getting us home, and said she no longer wanted a friendship with my boyfriend because he had called her toxic. He did admit that he texted her multiple times, worried for her, and he did call her toxic for refusing to at least let us know that she was there. I responded respectfully, pointing out that I had actually arranged the ride home, and her boyfriend hadn’t been concerned for our safety. I also said that if she needed space, she could’ve just said that instead of ignoring me. She responded with a short, dismissive message and never followed up.

I later reached out wishing her a happy birthday in hopes that maybe we could try to patch things up. She replied with a short “thank you,” and has continued to ghost me since then. She’s been active and went on to celebrate her birthday with her boyfriend, despite previously saying she wouldn’t be doing anything. She’s made zero effort to reconnect or talk things out, yet seemed to have instantly taken him back and was willing to work through their issues. On a side note, I have a friend who owns a dispensary and strongly believes my boyfriend’s reaction was due to being laced, especially given how extreme it was in comparison to his usual tolerance. I don't really want to believe this was the reality and sadly we'll never know. All we know is that her boyfriend had given her said edible and she claimed it was from a dispensary.

I’m still deeply hurt by the situation and am just trying to find closure since it's evident she won't be providing it. Her and I have gone through a lot together, and it hurts knowing that she's willing to throw it all away yet accept a man she's barley known. It is her first relationship so I kinda understand but I'm still hurt. I started to reflect on the way she had been treating me and I feel like there may have been signs. When she started dating him, she would take him to go do plans her and I made. I would always beg her to play video games with me, yet she'd go offline mode and play with him. I even made a "joke" about feeling replaced and she kinda ignored it. I've spoken to many friends about the incident and many just tell me she was/is a crappy friend and to move on. But I guess it hurts knowing someone who I wanted to be in my life forever would do this to me. If you've read this far, thank you.

I met a guy online a little bit ago and we quickly discovered we had a lot in common and liked talking to each other. We eventually made plans to meet in person. (We confirmed we both were who we said we were and did all the proper safety steps like meeting in public etc) I traveled to where he lives. ( I know now that I should have had us meet halfway in a neutral location but it is what it is now.) we met in a public location and we had hugged and kissed and chatted a bit. He was very sweet but it was a little awkward. I figured maybe we just needed to get used to the in person dynamic. Things improved after a little bit of talking.I was feeling more confident. This is where things went south, I know I shouldn’t have but I did let him convince me to hook up with him at my hotel. I was incredibly uncomfortable and he even said he could tell I was uncomfortable. Not to mention it hurt horribly because he was very rough. He also said right after that he kept having flashbacks of his ex during it. We met up the next day for lunch and right in public he tells me he felt nothing when we did romantic stuff but he did like hanging out with me. I was floored by his coldness and the fact he would do that in a crowded restaurant. It was a relief in a way though because I felt uneasy about him to say the least. Intraveled home early and we have spoken since and he once again told me he could tell I wasn’t ready and that I was uncomfortable when we hooked up and that I was “lucky to have discovered that with him and he was caring enough to be patient with me”. I had tried to bring up some feelings I had from the whole thing like that it effected my confidence and he said it wasn’t fair to him for me to have feelings about the whole thing because he was moving on too. Am I wrong for feeling so torn up and gross about this experience? What do you think?

yo i kno this prob sounds dumb but i swear i cant stop thinkin bout this girl i went on a date with like 5 years ago. like for real it was just one date, ONE, and i was only 15 but that whole thing stuck in my head like glue. i’m 20 now bro. twenty. i’ve finished high school, started college, got a job, met other girls, like life kept movin on but my brain?? nah, it stayed right there in that one lil coffee shop where we sat n laughed like idiots bout dumb stuff. nd i dont even kno if she ever thought of me again after that day but here i am, five years later, still wonderin wht could've happend. like we didn’t even kiss or anything, it wasn’t even deep, but i still remember what she was wearin, how she smiled, the way she looked straight in my eyes like no one else ever did since. nd i hate it cause it’s blockin me now. like i go on dates now n i always compare. always thinkin “she wouldn’t say that” or “it didn’t feel like this back then.” it’s messin up everything. like i wanna move on, i wanna feel something real again but it’s like my heart’s still parked in 2019 waitin for a moment that’s never comin back.

i tried forgettin her, swear i did. deleted her socials, stopped bringin her up, even told myself she prob don’t even remember me, but it don’t help. it’s like she’s just there in my head rent free 24/7. nd it’s not even just her, it’s like what she represented, u feel me? that lil spark, that feelin of maybe being seen for once, like i wasn’t just some background dude. nd now every time i talk to a new girl, it feels forced, fake, like im pretending to care when all i’m really doing is wishin it felt like that again. nd then i feel bad cause these girls didn’t do nuthin wrong, they just not her. i know it’s dumb to be stuck on someone from when i was a kid but i cant help it. maybe it's cause nothin better came after, maybe cause i never really healed from the way it just ended and she ghosted me like it meant nothin. i try to act chill bout it but inside i’m lowkey still hurt. like why did she smile at me like that if she was just gonna disappear? nd now i sit here thinkin maybe the problem’s me. maybe im just not built for love or whatever. or maybe i just been holdin onto a fantasy too long n it’s time to let it die. but man… why can’t i stop thinkin about someone who probably forgot my name?

i am ussaily a kind person. i take care of my family whether it be my adoptive parents and siblings or my biological family. i have always wondered though why doesnt anyone wanna take care of me? you know love me they way i love them. Now i am fine by myself most of the time but sometimes i need love too. i wanna be taken care of i wanna be asked how my day was or how am i today. but its like no one is really worried about me or what am i doing. so for me to be able to feel some kind of love i get into relationships. i was with this one boy who loved me endlessly but there were things in the relatioship i did not like. he didnt want me to be me. he didnt aprrove of my friendships or that i went to parties to drink or nothing. he just wanted me to stay home locked in my room because thats what he liked to do but i personly did not want to because of the fact that its hard for me to keep friends if i dont go out people wont nessacrily care about what i do and he knows that. and maybe he was just trying to protect me but i just couldnt do it there were so many things that differ from us. and so it fissed out after a while. and now i am single and i hear the rumors about me being spread that i cheated on him or that he cheated on me but idk imk confused but i was so desperate for love somewhere i didnt even care if he did cheat on me or not it didnt seem tht big of a deal to me. i just wanted someone to be with me through it all. now i am talking to this boy and i am asking him questions that i didnt ask my ex in the begingg because i am scared this new boy will be the same as my ex. i just want to be loved like truly loved by someone. and i dont know what to do because i do love myself but i am ready to be with someone who loves me to.

I moved to Europe four years ago for my graduate studies and met Tom, who is now my fiancé. Though he’s a native speaker and I'm still learning the local language, we've been inseparable. After two years of dating, we got engaged and recently moved into an apartment together. I'm still a student with a part-time job, and Tom just started working, which makes finances a bit tight. I've even had to dip into my savings to help cover his past rental debts to prevent his eviction.

Financially, we've found it hard to manage the costs of setting up our new home. Recently, a friend who works in property management advised us of a looming deadline. If Tom doesn’t formally close out his previous rental contract by August 3rd, we could face severe legal issues lasting into 2024 and lose our 1,500€ deposit. When I brought it up, Tom dismissed it, claiming he’d settled everything over email and couldn’t get a hold of the agency.

On the way home from visiting his grandparents, I mentioned it again to ensure it was really taken care of. He snapped at me, said I was meddling in affairs that didn’t concern me. I tried showing him the information I had on my phone and he just got louder, eventually yelling at me to stop talking about it. He told me I was spoiling the day and accused me of talking about things I didn't understand. Hurt, I confronted him about how he was treating me in public and walked away.

Considering how these tense moments unfolded, imagining this scenario playing out on a reality show throws an interesting light on it. The audience might be split. Some could see me as the caring partner trying to preempt a crisis, while others might view Tom’s reaction as stress-induced due to pressure. The public’s reaction might vary from empathic support to critiquing my insistence on discussing the matter then and there.

Am I wrong for insisting on discussing significant issues that impact both our futures?

Hello loml. I still think about you up to this day and it doesn't get any better lol. I hope you doing okay.

What the hell is happening in my own house?? I used to think I had it together—career, family, routine. But lately, I wake up already exhausted, and it’s not because of work or age. It’s these damn teenage kids!!! Every day is a damn psychological battle!!! Mood swings, slammed doors, sarcastic answers, zero respect for boundaries!!! And don’t get me started on screen time—why the hell am I always the bad guy for setting limits??? I try to keep calm, but my voice always ends up shaking, like my whole system’s on overload. Hormones?? Sure. But what about mine?? Am I supposed to just keep absorbing the chaos until I crack?? Is that the plan?? Because it sure feels like it.

Even basic things like dinner or chores turn into full-blown negotiations!!! I’m not their damn project manager!!! I ask for plates to be cleared, and somehow I’m triggering a “mental health episode”??? I didn’t sign up for emotional hostage situations every evening!!! And don’t give me that “gentle parenting” crap—I’m not trying to be their friend, I’m trying to keep the household running without going clinically insane!!! Do they see what they’re doing??? Or am I the only one who’s drowning in this mess??? I walk into their rooms and it smells like puberty and rebellion had a baby. I’m not even trying to fix them anymore. I’m just trying not to lose myself in the process.

So yeah, I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll snap and not come back from it. I have intrusive thoughts I don’t want. I hear my own voice and don’t recognize it. Ever feel that?? Like you’re watching yourself spiral but still expected to drive carpool and make dentist appointments??? I go through the motions like a damn automaton, but inside, I’m questioning my own stability every five minutes!!! Is this what it looks like before you lose your mind??? Or am I already halfway there??!! I don’t need a diagnosis or sympathy. I just needed to write this out before I scream at a wall or throw my phone at something. Maybe someone out there gets it. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter.

I honestly don’t get it; I’m a confident woman in my 40s, thriving in a fast-paced corporate setting, yet I flinch like a startled cat at every little thing. It’s not just the typical noise of a stapler slamming or a sudden email ping that sets me off—though trust me, that doesn't help my high-strung nerves. I've had colleagues burst into my office unexpectedly, and I practically leap out of my seat, knocking over my beloved coffee mug. It’s embarrassing. I’ve worked hard to build this reputation as a competent manager, yet this ridiculous reflex makes me feel like I’m six years old again, jumping at shadows. Shouldn't I have outgrown this by now? It’s particularly frustrating during meetings when someone raises their voice to make a point, and I’m there flinching between my notes like a deer caught in headlights. I can’t be the only one who experiences this, right? I mean, do you ever feel like your body just betrays you with its silly reflexes?

One time, during a really tense meeting about budget cuts, I was already on edge, and when someone slammed their hand on the table for emphasis, I practically yelped. You could hear a pin drop! Everyone turned to look at me, and I felt heat rush to my cheeks like I was back in high school being called out in class. I could've sworn someone stifled a laugh; I mean, it would have been funny if it weren't so mortifying! And it got me thinking—why do I put myself through these situations over and over again? Could it be that I'm just too sensitive to my surroundings? Or maybe it’s a deeper issue related to how I’ve been conditioned over the years. I wonder if my background has something to do with this. My parents were always on edge, and I guess I absorbed that energy. But it’s been years; I’m not that little girl anymore. Shouldn’t I be setting a standard of calm and poise instead? I desperately want to toughen up, but that flinch reflex just won’t quit. Is there an off-switch for this reaction, or am I doomed to be the perpetual jumpy one in the office? 🤷‍♀️

Yesterday, I ventured out to a Vietnamese eatery and decided to order a bowl of the traditional noodle dish “Pho”. I made a point to ask the staff to skip the spring onions since I really can't stand them - it’s not an allergy, I just dislike their flavor intensely. When I was younger, around the age of 10, my mother made numerous attempts to get me accustomed to eating spring onions because she didn't want me to be fussy with food. Unfortunately, each attempt ended with me feeling sick.

However, despite my specific request, my dish arrived dotted with spring onions. This was not the first time this issue occurred at this restaurant; last time I ended up picking the onions out by myself. After that experience, the noodles were too soggy from soaking up the broth and the overall flavor was compromised. This time around, I opted to not repeat the ordeal. I politely called over the server, explained the situation and handed back my bowl to have it corrected. The server was understanding and took it back to the kitchen, asking me to patiently wait for a corrected bowl.

In contrast, my sister immediately voiced her frustration, pointing out my fussiness especially since the restaurant was quite busy. She argued that I should have just dealt with the unwanted onions rather than causing additional trouble and potentially wasting food. Her comments certainly made the remainder of the meal uncomfortable.

Reflecting on the situation, I can't help but wonder if maybe I did overreact slightly, especially since I had been having a really tough week and might not have been in the best state of mind. However, I'd genuinely appreciate others' thoughts on this. Was I really being unreasonable?

Imagine if this incident had taken place on a reality TV show, with cameras capturing every moment and audiences tuning in from their homes. The tension and drama would certainly be heightened. Viewers might sympathize with my aversion to onions or they might align with my sister, viewing me as overly particular or disruptive. It's interesting to ponder whether public opinion would sway in my favor or if I'd be criticized for my insistence on removing a simple ingredient.

I never thought I’d be in this position. You raise your kids, you give them everything you’ve got—your time, your money, your love—and you think one day it’ll all make sense. That maybe they’ll appreciate it, or at the very least, respect you as they get older. But now, at 56 years old, I find myself constantly walking on eggshells around my own children, who are in their 20s and early 30s. They speak to me in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of speaking to my parents. The tone, the eye-rolls, the sarcasm—it stings more than I care to admit. I try to talk to them like adults, to find common ground, but everything turns into an argument or gets brushed off like I’m some outdated relic who doesn’t get it. They treat me like I’m clueless, like my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t expect them to agree with me on everything, of course, but there’s a basic level of decency I thought we’d built—and lately, I just don’t feel it.

It’s hard, because I still see the little kids in them. I remember teaching them how to ride a bike, watching movies together, helping with homework. I didn’t always get it right, I’ll admit that. I made mistakes, like any parent. I worked a lot, I was strict at times, I didn’t always know how to express emotions the way they wanted. But everything I did, I did out of love and a desire to see them succeed. And now that they’re grown, it’s like the script has flipped completely. They criticize the way they were raised, throw words like “toxic” and “trauma” around like darts. And it hurts. It hurts more than I can put into words. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt. I don’t get asked how I’m doing. I just get blamed for everything that went wrong, while all the good I tried to do gets forgotten. And the worst part is, I start to question myself. Was I really that bad of a father? Or are they just seeing me through a lens I’ll never be able to clean?

I’ve been trying to find ways to reconnect, to rebuild that mutual respect. But I’ll be honest, I don’t always know where to start. I’ve read the books, tried to open up more, asked for their thoughts even when it’s hard to hear. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it just makes things worse. I try not to react when they get rude, but I’m still human. It’s difficult not to take it personal when your own child rolls their eyes at you or talks to you like you’re stupid. I want to be close to them, but not at the cost of being constantly disrespected. So if you’re asking how to deal with disrespectful adult children, I guess the best I can say is: stay patient, keep the door open, but don’t let yourself be walked on. Set boundaries, as hard as that is when you love them so much. And maybe one day they’ll understand that you weren’t trying to control them—you were just trying your best to love them in the only way you knew how.