Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Me and my now ex boyfriend are in a weird situationship thing. He’s treated me better than how we were in our relationship. But he’s been talking to me about doing OF and I’ve been feeling so jealous. Before you say anything, I’m fully aware that I can’t control him and he’s his own person. But it’s hard when you have such strong feelings for someone and they do certain things that just strike you the wrong way. It hurts but I don’t necessarily have any right to say anything to him about and I can’t make him not do it. It really sucks.

So unfortunately, I am hypersexual due to trauma, but acesexual. and "makeup sex" is an unfortunate and unconscious reaction to stress caused by my relationship because of a past relationship. I feel like recently my boyfriend has been purposely triggering my stress response to get.. yuknow. And not only am I kinda grossed out by the thought he could be doing it on purpose. I'm scared by it.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

not gonna lie, 37 doesn't feel anything like what i thought it would. sure, i'm older and theoretically wiser, but when it comes to self-worth? it's like i'm stuck back in high school, constantly questioning if i'm enough. i mean, you’d think by now i'd have it figured out, right? maybe it's just me, but society keeps pushing this insane idea that by a certain age, we should have it all together. yet here i am, feeling like a complete failure in various aspects of my life.

sometimes i wonder if it's society setting the bar so damn high, or if i'm just incompetent. ever feel like you're just going through the motions, ticking boxes but not actually moving forward? that's been my reality for a while. career-wise, i’m stuck in a job that's more soul-sucking than rewarding. my friends joke about their "real" jobs while i'm over here hustling in something that pays the bills but kills the spirit. who knew following passions could lead to this much existential dread? 🙃 how many others are out there, grappling with the same silent despair because they haven't “made it” yet?

and don't even get me started on relationships. it's not that i'm desperate for companionship, but sometimes the societal pressure feels like a chokehold. those phrases like "biological clock" and "settle down" aren't just words, they start to feel like accusations. even my family, who mean well, toss in their two cents every goddamn time we talk. as if i haven't considered it all before, as if i'm oblivious to the endless cycle of tantrums at family dinners. can they not see i’d figure it out if i could? the audacity! i swear, if i hear another "when are you going to settle down?" again, i might scream. am i really the only one who feels this exhausted by it all?

the worst part? social media. it's a double-edged sword that's mostly torture. scrolling through endless posts of other people’s curated versions of success just fuels the sense of inadequacy. everyone looks like they’re winning at life, and it’s hard not to compare yourself to yet another “inspirational” story. it’s as if speaking about feeling worthless online is the last taboo. why pretend to be perfect when nobody actually has their shit together? it's baffling. can we just agree that being in your late thirties is a confusing mess, and maybe it's okay to admit it sometimes?

so here i am, 37, female, feeling lost and stuck, but still trudging forward. does it ever get better, or are we all just faking it until we make it? who knows. i've accepted that maybe there's no one-size-fits-all answer and that maybe, just maybe, the key is to stop giving a damn about what everyone else thinks. a person can only handle so much “constructive criticism” before it just becomes noise. until i figure it all out, i’ll keep venting here. thanks for reading, whoever you are.

i feel kinda isolated. not drastically but, in a way that makes me feel alone. I'm with my mom but, somehow that doesn't feel like it's enough.

my father left on my birthday and recently got engaged with another woman that neither my mom or myself know. my brother is two hours away from where i live and is also engaged, luckily i know her though and she's sweet. my sister has moved away with a friend and specified she will not be coming back. oh, and she'll also get engaged. my mom has a boyfriend and he has a nine year old daughter but we're not close. she never shuts up and it drains me so i subconsciously avoid her sometimes.

i dunno, i don't exactly know what to do anymore. i mean, i have a best friend but... i love them, i really do, but im starting to get awfully annoyed by them. it's just, a stage i think. not sure though but i kind of hate it a lot. i want to talk to them about this but then i worry if im making the whole thing about me and im projecting because when i usually vent i get really expressive, even in text sometimes and blow up even when i don't try to. undirected anger.

i recently had a dream whereas i had three siblings for some reason. the dynamics of tmnt which i am a fan of, kind of weird to admit but i did have that dream. it was the most enjoyable dream i ever had, even if i don't remember every detail. i only have two siblings but i remember a lot of laughing in that dream. happiness that i really crave. i was sad when i woke up. honestly, i think that reflects a lot on me lmao

i dunno, it feels like people keep leaving me, even if my mom swears she'll never leave me. why don't i believe her? genuine question, i can't bring myself to grasp it for some reason.

i live my life as an artist and a writer which says a lot, to be honest. why are we loners and why does it hurt so bad even if we enjoy it? something i've really thought about. it doesn't feel great at all.

by the way, my damn dog got taken from me by her stupid boyfriend too. keeps calling him his dog. it's my dog too, prick! actually, it's just my dog. he's an australian shepherd and yeah he's meant to herd but just because he lives with him temporarily doesn't make it his dog! does it? i don't know, i feel like im whining.

idk, point of this vent thing is cuz i really miss them, i guess. my own brain is telling me that too i guess, with the dream and all. i don't know what to do. i don't have much energy for school, either. crazy how we see our educators more than our own parents. i really wish it wasn't that way. i'm lonely, and people overlook the youngest sibling role as "spoiled and gets what they want" too much i think. more or less true too but, that's not all of it, man.

(what? these letters to myself actually really help. You should try it.)

Hey me,

I see you in homeroom, blasting Letdown through your earbuds. I'm doing the same thing. Marching Band yesterday was crazy, wasn't it? Last year's Spring Trainings weren't that fun! I don't remember playing Sharks and Minnows and Red Light Green Light last year, do you?

Anyway. I know seeing Skyler again hurt. I still don't know why he stopped talking to you. He's a bit of an asshole, you know? But at least you have Kiara, and your cousin, and sometimes Kris. Maybe, eventually, even Greysi or Lillian. And Lauren seems to like you decently. You don't need Skyler, do you?

I know you really liked him. But you're over him now, aren't you? I know I am.

And you can have just as much fun at the Marhing Band car wash without him. I know, being friends with him made it more fun, but you don't need a boy like him to have fun. You'll make new friends. And like I said, you have Kiara.

I know he hurt you really bad when he started ignoring you. I get it. Things like that hurt. And now, it just adds to what your school "friends" have been doing to you. But trust me, you don't need him. And things like that never last forever. My guess is that he was friends with you while he liked you, and when he stopped liking you, he didn't see any point in being your friend anymore. Boys have weird logic like that. I swear I will never understand them.

I know things seem bad right now, because soon you're gonna have to see him two to three times every week, but you'll get over him completely. I promise. We're gonna get through this. We're stronger than you think we are. Heck, we're probably stronger than I think we are.

You got this,

You.

so i heard this morning from my mom about my dad refused to pay the bills, seriously, and were all counting on him to do it, my mom is planning kick him out, and im worried about her snitching to untrustworthy people where it could backfire, or what if my dad refusing to get out or wants to take kids along, or how will the bills be paid without him, or what happens next, strongly considering suicide as i dont think i have the balls to continue, either way this will be the end of life as i know it already

Me (13) and my brother (11) had an argument. Maybe it's my fault. But let me explain. I just told him I found Hindi overwhelming, and he said his isn't that easy either so I should also know, but I do and I was gonna explain to him how hard mine is. Then I was shooing away a fly, and this is one of the many things about me I hate, it's that I really don't like flies and their sound and all that and makes me go nuts. So in the lift, he asked me why I hated and overreacted to flies so much, I didn't wanna talk about it and I thought we were going off-topic, but he then said he didn't care angrily. Then we started arguing that he should leave me, then he said he shouldn't even when I COULD potentially become the worst sister ever, he never listened to dad saying to LEAVE family members who hurt you on a visceral level, and I feel as if I did. Next thing you know, he says it's OKAY for Indian families to have lots of beatings, even though OUR PARENTS don't like it and now they rarely do it and feel great remorse when doing it (my dad even admits when he has flaws and he gets somewhat better at handling them), while I'm "glamorizing" an "American movie idea". Then we started arguing about how even though he has many friends he doesn't know that if friends don't wanna speak about something they shouldn't pressure them to, he said I don't even have friends, and we did name-calling and swearing, and in another lift alone together, he called me psychopath, I called him child murderer and pedophile, and at home now, he treats me like I'm a stupid crazy hysteric lady on an 8 ft restraining order. It's my fault this happened. It's my fault for not calmly telling him he's going very off-topic. See? Failure on my part. Failure never equals improvement.

Man, why doesn't he get it? I know I have no friends, but why doesn't he get it? Why doesn't he know with 6 friends, if they don't wanna talk about something, no matter how stupid, you don't! One thing I learnt when I overshare my interests with people NOT interested! Not everyone wants to speak about gemstones! But, maybe that's why I don't have friends.

We spoke to mom, I explained this to her, he said he wanted to stay away from me since I've gone crazy, she sounded exhausted on the phone, and right now, I hate myself. I feel like an abusive sister. My brother will assume these things for life, he's done this for a long time. Mom came, and she spoke to us that we shouldn't call each other names OR ELSE, and that if the argument or conversation goes in a nasty direction, either one of us stays quiet. I asked her what if my brother will think I'm weak or I can't clap back at him, and mom said she does this with dad to avoid getting nasty if things go south, and she said I shouldn't think for others. The reason I hate it when people say that is because it is my job to think what others think, otherwise I'm gonna grow up to be a criminal. She even told me I'm not abusive. I am, considering I called him nasty things and after some time, he acted like nothing happened.

Why doesn't he know it yet? That if I don't wanna speak about flies since I find my disgust and overwhelm stupid, why was he pushing me? My fear is stupid. Even though their sound drives me nuts and makes me feel like vomiting or peeing, it's stupid. He even got very off-topic when he kept asking me that, when we were talking about Hindi studies. Dude, even dad tells you not to go astray, yet because he isn't here for now, he didn't do it. And when I asked my brother, he really had no idea what he did could've been a sign he's not really a friend-friend, even though him and friends have no seriousness at all. My dad's right, he really cannot think AT ALL, only cook up smart answers and score good marks, and even he failed months ago in most of his tests! Guy really can't think about anything, what food he wants (actually, he can't adjust to what foods adults don't wanna give him and he is very stubborn and whiny), motor functions (his writing makes even doctors confused) because bro's only good at piano but not anything else involving his hands, he can't understand social nuance in that sense, and somehow, even with 6 FRIENDS, he doesn't know that lesson of "Not to Push People Into Talking About Uncomfortable Things is Wrong and Weird" yet! Bro really has the thinking capacity of a potato. He sounds smart and looks cute, but really he's not that impressive. Sure he's good at piano, but actually using his hands is like expecting a Snorlax to do a backflip. Another thing is, he can actually make me think I'm the big issue, until someone like my parents snaps me out of it and shows that what he also did wasn't great either. Homie cannot think at all.

i dont even know if this makes sence, but i keep thinking about how to stop masterburation on memory, like not even the act only, but the stupid replay of it in my head. it feels like my brain saved every bad habbit in hd and plays it when i am bored, sad, lonely, or just lying there at night like a loser. i tell myself “ok this is the last time,” and then the next day my mind is already making little excuses. it is so dumb becuase nobody is forcing me, but it still feels like i am being dragged by my own head.

i tried deleting stuff, blocking sites, even putting my phone far away, and yeah it works for maybe two days. then the memory part starts. like i dont need to see anything, my brain just remembers it, and that is the part that makes me feel kinda hopeless. have you ever had something you dont want to think about, but the more you fight it, the louder it gets? thats how it is for me. i start thinking maybe i am broken, but then i also know im probably just stuck in a loop. i dont think shame helps much, but i still feel it anyway, which is annoying as hell.

the only thing that kinda helps is not acting like i can magically fix my whole brain in one night. i try to get up, drink water, walk around, play a game, or text someone about random stuff before the memory gets too strong. sometimes i fail and feel like trash after, but sometimes i dont, and those times matter a little. i dont have some perfect answer. i just think stopping “on memory” means building new boring memories over the old ones, again and again, even when it feels fake. maybe thats all self control is, just being tired and still choosing not to make it worse.

My wife and I recently took a two-week trip to Germany for Oktoberfest. I'm writing this from our hotel room in a resort on the southwest side of the country. Neither of us come from money, and we both have a bit of an alternative look—I've got a Mohawk, piercings, and nail polish, and my wife has tattoos covering about 80% of her body along with colored hair. So, we tend to stand out a bit.

We dressed up nicely for dinner—I wore a button-up shirt and black pants, and my wife wore a nice dress and heels. We showed up five minutes early for our reservation, not wanting to be late and ready to wait if necessary. We were seated and ordered different sets of courses to try a bit of everything. We were polite, used please and thank you, and asked the staff for advice on how to enjoy our meals properly.

When it came time for the main courses, our reservation was at 7 PM, and by 8:10 PM, we still hadn't received our main dishes. It wasn't until 9:40 PM that our food finally arrived. During the wait, we asked our server a few times if there was a delay, not rudely, just curious if we should hold off on more bread.

At the 1 hour 30-minute mark, I asked for the chief to see if there was an issue since other tables with similar orders and larger groups who arrived after us were already being served. When I explained our situation, he patronizingly smacked his lips and said, "Aww, it hasn't been over an hour and a half." When I clarified we had timed it, he shrugged and said, "I don't know what to say," then walked off.

All I wanted was an apology or some communication. Even if they had said, "Sorry, the food didn't meet the chef's standards," I'd have been fine with that. But nothing. When you're paying $300 per person, the least you expect is an update if your meal is delayed. Was that too much to ask?

Thinking about this, I wonder how people would react if this had happened on a reality show. Would it have been different? How would people judge the situation?

I'm not very good at saving money sometimes and I'm trying to change so I want to know some good tips to be smarter at it.

Thanks!

Hey!

My buddy and I teamed up for a little venture and it turned out awesome. He’s ace at chitchatting and wheeling-dealing, plus he’s really into the great outdoors. Me? I’m the imaginative type, obsessed with the nitty-gritty and also a bit of a shy one when it comes to crowds. Following our project, my pal floated this great business idea. It’s pretty creativity-heavy, but it also involves a lot of person-to-person interaction and trekking around for supplies. After mulling over it, I chose to pass on the offer because, frankly, I'm not too keen or up for that kind of thing. I shared my reservations in a diplomatic manner, and he got it, though he’s not pursuing the venture solo as he feels short on the creative flare needed. Now there's this twinge of guilt in me. Did I mess up?

Imagine this scenario got aired on a reality show. How would audience react seeing me turn down the business offer? Probably, they’d have mixed feelings. Some might empathize with my need to stay true to my comfort zone, while others might view me as a hindrance to my friend’s entrepreneurial dream.

WARNING: It can be triggering for people with ED, I am not sure tho, sorry this is my first time venting to someone.

I am a 17yo and ever since I remember I hated myself and wanted to lose weight, I was one of the largest girls in class and all my friends were skinny and beautiful. Nobody has ever loved me, called me beautiful etc.. I have been trying to lose weigh since I was 10 I thinks, but I can't, idk why. I hate myself so much, I hate the feeling of my body, I want to cry when I feel my stomach while lying on the bed. I want to feel beautiful but I can't until I lose weight, but I can't lose weight and it's makes me so depressed everyday.

Quick backstory, I'm between 13-16 atm, just to give a rough age range so you get an idea. I am a minor and this is how my home is.

I'll first introduce you to my family! Mother: in 50's Father:in 50's Older Brother: 20+ I also have other siblings but that doesn't matter too much.

My mother has stage 4 cancer and is extremely childish and easily irratated. She lacks empathy and often talks about her self and how much worse she has it when I talk to her about anything.

My father is an alcoholic, who works most hours of the week and spends his one day off, (monday) golfing with friends. He is often not home and extremely close minded and absent in my life. Refuses to go to the hospital or believe in medicine since "men are strong enough, and if I die, I die." Therefore I don't know if he'll die tomorow. :) (He makes up most the income we make and so if he dies soon, I am kinda screwed.)

My brother is on the spectrum, has ADHD and works a job atm. Extremely mentally unstable and has had therapy.

I'll just talk about yesterday as an example. My brother had another mental breakdown where he went on a rampage, screaming and breaking things. Heres a small list of what he broke yesterday, a set of joycons, a metal soldering kit and a ceramic bowl (With a hammer). This was all done when he panics, he also threw out a laptop he broke the day before that still partially works that he can easily use as he said him self. But he threw it out since he finds it hard to look at since its something he broke when he had a mental breakdown. He has been screaming at the top of his lungs and since he is taller and stronger than my parents, I am terrified that he would cause harm to members of my family. Not to mention I get terrible anxiety when he screams since I have trauma of him screaming in the middle of the night that he was going to off him self two years ago. In the same year, he has also stabbed scissors into his hand right infront of me and he passed out multiple times.

If I bring up any issues, my parents tell me that they have it much worse. Which is true, I run and hide when my brother has a mental breakdown but my parents need to deal with them, but I don't feel like they care about me at all. My sister is also mental and silently struggles and the other one also is mental. Life is great :,)

(Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense. I'm horrible with grammer and I wrote this quickly :,))

Thanks for caring enough to read this, this alone is more than my parents do for me now days.

Soo here's the thing i was just minding my own buissness when my mind started to overthink and now i want to get it out of my mind people have said to me and i too think that i am really sensitive because i take every sentence into consideration every word their expression what they meant behind it one time my friend no 1 asked my other friend if he could roast me just for fun a few jokes he took a look at me and denied saying i will cry that hurt i just sat there and did nothing like wtf and i used to fight with my bestie everytime she ignored me or talked to someone else now wait before you think i am crazy i am completely fine with her talking to and sitting with someone else but lets be real besties sit together right so i think she was tired of me at that point of life because we are ok but then she swapped my bag with someone else's beside her seat and i said dont do this but she did and we had a huge fight that day . I cry easily in arguments and fail to keep my tears from flowing out i want to be alone but then i hate being lonely now i am trying to keep my emotions in check but i don't think i have gotten better