Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

first time posting here, english isn't my first language.

my boyfriend broke up with me last sunday, i feel like im the only one grieving the loss of our relationship and he's just mr. perfectly fine—it hurts, it hurts a lot i don't know what do to, i miss him i want him back but im sure he doesn't feel the same way since we restricted me on facebook.. how can he throw away our relationship? from after school dates to the church, walking with me through the bus station, being there for me when my friends left me, internet café hangouts, cinema dates and so much more.. i miss him i miss reyz i miss my bebi and it hurts so bad—i am willing to compromise for our relationship, i would sacrifice a lot for him yet how can he throw all of this away? the times that we would have an argument, I'd still forgive him even though he didn't ask for forgiveness, i did my best to love him every way i can, isn't that enough for him to stay and work things out between us? comeback please i beg you, give us another try please I can't do this without you, im near at the deep end, im losing myself, everyone turned their backs to me and u did too:( please change your mind bebi:( please please.

I'm so tired of everyone acting like having no friends is no big deal. Let me tell you, it freaking sucks. It's not like I'm some kind of recluse who avoids people on purpose. I try to put myself out there but it's like there's some invisible barrier keeping me from making real connections. It's like everyone else got the memo on how to socialize and I'm just left winging it without a damn clue; I mean, how does anyone survive without a solid group of pals to hang with? People always say things like 'just join a club' or 'get out more.' But it's not that simple! I've tried joining groups, taking classes, even going to community events but half the time I end up feeling more isolated than before. And don't get me started on small talk at work, which feels like pulling teeth every damn time.

You know what's messed up? The way society constantly shoves this crap down our throats about being liked and having tons of friends on social media. Nobody talks about what it's like to manage when you're completely alone most of the time. Social gatherings feel like some twisted form of punishment instead of fun opportunities because I'm stuck comparing myself to people who seem to have effortless bonds with others. At this point, I'd probably cut someone if it meant having one genuine friend who isn't flaky or only around during their convenience.

So yeah, here's my rant for today: screw all those stupid motivational posts that say stuff like 'you are your own best friend!' or 'you don't need anybody else!' That's total BS when reality hits you in the face every night with no one asking how your day went or giving a damn about your existence. Maybe it's just me but having no friends is massively freaking lonely and exhausting 😒.

so their is a boy in my year and I've tried to be nice to him but he hates me for a mistake I made years ago ( I think maybe 3) and he is rude and tosses me around, now I have had a weird feeling it feels like crying but I stop breathing and my heart goes way to fast he worked with a main bully lets call him Osman he made me think I was horrible

also sorry I wont use punctuation

he told me I was a failure

I'm a weak trusting person

so all over the years people have left me or bullied me. because I have little things of skill

I am male btw its important because im friends with some girls all my male friends left so now people say I'm trans ( which is fine btw its just my school is homophobic) so I change my personality a lot too fit others but I'm still hated

and so everyone hates me bc I'm weird

so the bully Osman he comes gets a major which is the biggest problem 3 = expulsore basically

'so I remove that now he's nice to me but the other bully isn't he tosses my books around hurts me and its fine I tell a trusted adult

who is kind now today

the bully and osman I accidently sent his birthday invite to the year bellow us and that was a mistake I didn't mean it he didn't he attacked me and I ran of my friends ran to me saying they were hunting me down they had snithced to the trusted kind adult who new the bully was bullying me

Osman who after a year were friends with me betrayed me

and the teacher told me I did stuff wrong and to rub salt in the wound after knowing

the bully had

- nearly tossed my chromebook out the window which would have cost me to pay the school 700

- attacked me for years

- bullied me for years

- made me have self loathing for years

she called him a nice boy

I want friends so badly, it drives me insane. I have 3 friends but I only consider one to be an actual friend, because the others are assholes. I can’t hang out with my friend often because they live about 30 minutes from me and they go to school while I’m homeschooled. I have bad anxiety so I’m not good at talking to people at all unless I know them, It’s so bad that I can’t even talk to people online to try and make friends because I get too scared and worried. I want to make more friends that live close by so I can hang out more often and just have someone to go out with.

I want to go out more and get out of the house, but I don’t go out alone because of my own experiences with creepy men and pedophiles. It’s not that I want some just to have with me, but I want someone who I can connect deeply with bf not have to think about how and when to drive 30 mins to get there or whatever.

I want to make friends in my area, but everyone my age in my area are just assholes, which was one of the reasons I went into homeschool other than anxiety.

I have this deep feeling inside me like I just want to be held and loved, just to be with someone and feel safe and cared about with. I don’t know if I’m ready to get into another relationship yet since I just got out of a year long distance relationship about a month ago. I just crave touch and affection, but also that level of friendship where I’m comfortable enough to be myself.

I always get jealous seeing people out with friend groups and talking about their friend groups, I know how fun it is to be in friendgroups since I used to be in one a few years ago. I want that feeling again. I don’t know how to explain it but I just feel lonely.

Sure, I have my family, but they just make me feel more alone. My grandma always talks about how I barely have friends and need more, when I’m upset bc my friend did something my dad just tells me everyone is assholes and I need to learn that, my little sister makes fun of me for barely having friends. I just can’t handle it anymore. I’ve thought about suicide and running away, but it wouldn’t help.

For years I have just been wanting that feeling that I know I’m safe with someone for who I am and that I’m loved

At 18, I, Sophie, have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, Ethan, 20, for a bit over a year now. Ethan is incredible—attentive, kind, and endlessly considerate. He hasn’t let me pay for a single dinner since we’ve been together! Before Ethan, I was dating Jake, 22, who ended up betraying me by secretly being with Ethan’s sister, Mia, 21. At that time, I didn't know either Ethan or Mia existed. Jake lied for a whole month, claiming that the rumors were just a bad joke gone wrong. I naively believed him.

Back then, Mia seemed nice but became hard to be around because of the spreading rumors, which made social outings unpleasant. Eventually, I drifted from my old friends and found myself a new circle, which surprisingly included both Mia and Ethan. Ethan and I hit it off right from the start and began going out more, often just the two of us. After a sweet kiss at a party, things felt perfect. I talked with Mia beforehand to clear the air and Ethan soon expressed how much he cared about me. Within two months, we were officially a couple.

The only real snag has been my brother, Jake, 23, who took the whole Mia debacle pretty poorly. Despite Mia and I resolving our differences—turns out Jake hadn't told her about me either, and she was really apologetic—Jake still holds a grudge. Ethan’s family, however, has been nothing but welcoming, treating me as one of their own. My parents adore Ethan; they see how well he treats me, but Jake gets irritated whenever Ethan's around or even mentioned.

And here's a thought: imagine if all of this drama unfolded on a reality TV show! How intense would that be with cameras capturing every awkward family dinner and each reconciliation? The drama would certainly be dialed up. I can almost hear the audience’s reactions during each revelation and each step forward in mine and Ethan’s relationship.

I'm sorry. It was my fault you felt bad. I didn't listen. I didn't think. Last time It went fine and you liked It and didn't felt bad and nothing happened and i felt overconfident. It's my fault and I'm sorry. And honestly? i always thought you were right. I am selfish and horrible and arrogant. I know. But tbh in the case at the very least there was a Little thing that would've spared us both the trouble, It's called Communication. Not that you would know. This morning before i even thought about cooking you said you had to eat something plain and simple for your stomach. When i was about to start cooking YOU SAID you wanted plain pasta and ASKED me to make It. And i did. Even after that I ASKED YOU "ARE YOU GONNA EAT THESE THINGS I'M MAKING TONIGHT OR ARE YOU GONNA EAT PLAIN AGAIN?" and you SAID "No. Do whatever you want. I can't eat them tonight." And i said "ok". ONLY AFTER THAT I PUT SEASONING YOU CAN'T EAT. bc YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA EAT THEM ANYWAY. I WAS PLANNING TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU, I ASKED YOU SAID NO. end of It. Then you asked if i could make you bread with the dough. I knew for a fact the dough wasn't gonna be enough and i told you. "Probably not cause there's a lot. But I can make other dough if you want." Cause that Is kinda how It works. You want bread? You tell me and i make It for you bc you asked. You can't Just leave hints last minute and expect me to figure It out anyway. I tried to make more Dough for you bread you literally forbid me from doing It cause i was a selfish b. All of that, remembering the fact you asked me for something else (the pasta) and i make It for you cause that what you asked. I asked if you wanted share and you SAID no.

All of that when in normal circumstances i always share with you. When i have adapt recipes i always do. But when i don't share with you bc you SAID specifically NO. I'm the Monster. Ok. Sure. Whatever.

How disgusting it is to have to give my father information about my life. I don't want to give him any information about me, and I feel like he's pressuring me, with his absences, to give it to him. This is truly miserable. I can't stand being with my father anymore. I expected a recent response, and he didn't give it to me. I'm fed up. I'm fed up with how he wants this relationship to be. He once decided to see who I was dating! With the excuse that in the family, we men find bad people. This is the last straw.

I hate my father. Besides, he wants to know so much about my life when I don't want to give him that information. Besides, I don't want to give it to him. I don't know if he's giving it to the psychiatrist. I'm fed up. I'm fed up with this information being extracted from me. I feel like I can't take it anymore. And this tells me it's from a psychiatrist? I don't want to be there anymore. I'm not interested anymore. I'm working through the anger I had myself, because if it were up to her, pressuring me to be worse, then it would be going badly. Everything in the therapeutic treatment is being achieved thanks to my routine, not thanks to the psychiatrist. Instead of supporting me, the psychiatrist has only put more pressure on me. She once made me steer clear of some dentists who treated me, she molded me. I'm tired of her. Furthermore, she supported my father's medication, even though the character is my doctor. Hell, feeling obligated to give him information about what I'm doing with my life has reached its limit.

It can't be that the relationship with my father is the most problematic, an issue that's obvious from miles away, as is that with my mother. And they want me to see that on purpose? I'm tired of the psychiatrist, of her pressuring me, of her giving me useless, crappy pills. I don't want to keep taking that stuff. So far, what I've felt is pressure from that woman, molding, disapproval, bias. I can't stand that doctor anymore. I want to quit that therapy once and for all. On top of that, censorship. I'm not in therapy to calm down, but to do a job, and I won't do a job at the expense of that. That person can't be staking out my success when it's my routine. I no longer care about the opinion of my work, which is who sent me to that. I just want to be calm. I don't want to feel like I'm exposing myself in my private space. That's torture. I can't allow that. It's too much. I'm wasting my time. I don't want to see that psychiatrist anymore! I'm tired.

Why is it that at my job, what they've done is nothing but screw up my life? I don't want to be trapped with a psychiatrist! I want out of there; I feel too boxed in. I don't care that they don't give me anything, or any other support; I just want out of that psychiatrist. I'm fed up with being with her. Plus, she treated me badly outside of the session. I'm tired of defending myself from the psychiatrist; I can't take it anymore. I don't want to keep doing it like I did with my psychologist; that woman really traumatized me. That woman abused my privacy, however she wanted; she pushed aside my ideals, and she wanted to act like nothing was happening. I'm not going to allow that again.

I feel like I can't believe anything my father says anymore. In fact, I feel like the communication between us is more zero than ever. There are too many unseen things between us. This relationship between us is headed straight for disaster. This can't be tolerated by either side anymore. This has become a situation where everyone lives in their own world.

On the other hand, it's unfortunate that a girl, who for a long time, I don't even know what I did, I think that by becoming "her leader" at her request, I'll have to leave her alone, and if she comes back, she'll adapt to the circumstances. It's not possible for me to remain stagnant because of her. There's a new girl in my life, and I feel I want to get to know her better, appreciate her more, and that's interesting to me, and that's my right. I can't afford to remain stagnant with her; wherever, wherever she is, I hope that if I see her again, she'll find out about this and digest it well because I'm not going to put up with any scandal, and she knows it. In fact, of everything I've experienced, what I did, faithfully, was just that: make me her leader from every angle. I mean, you can only give her such an abstract group vision, because otherwise it's incomprehensible; there are so many details that won't fit together. I'm tired of going over the matter in circles. It's impossible to give her a common vision, it's not possible.

A few years after completing my college degree, I've found myself in a bit of a family dilemma. Working diligently through college, I managed my finances by taking scholarships, loans, and engaging in part-time work, ensuring I covered all my expenses independently. My father, who remarried around the time I turned 18, presented a challenging request recently. With my half-brother nearing the end of his high school journey, my dad has approached me to contribute to my brother's forthcoming college costs, citing that they hadn’t put aside funds for his education.

His rationale was that I should now be financially capable due to my stable job, adding that since I had the advantage of scholarships, it’s only fair I assist my brother. He stressed the importance of family support in such matters. While I deeply care for my brother, the prospect of sponsoring his education seems unfair, especially considering I received no such support during my academic endeavors. This left me in a difficult position when I expressed my inability to fulfill his request which led to my father labeling me as selfish, and now, both he, my stepmother, and my brother seem distant, treating me rather coldly.

The guilt weighs on me since my brother is an innocent party in this scenario, yet I’m also at the beginning of my professional life, striving to establish my own future and financial stability.

Now, imagine if this personal turmoil was a part of a reality show narrative, the dramatic interactions and moral dilemmas would certainly captivate an audience. The cameras would zoom in on the family discussions, capturing every emotion, potentially influencing public opinion. Viewers might sympathize with my position or criticize it, depending on how the story is presented. It would indeed create a buzz and possibly even a divisive camp, with some rallying support for me, while others might echo my father’s sentiments.

Should I finance my brother's college despite my circumstances? I wondering if I'm being selfish not helping with his college costs?

Is it fair to ask me to contribute?

In my country there are different kinds of curriculum that you study at school, so I studied the full English syllabus. One of my professors got to know about this a few days ago and from that day he started to act weird. He randomly asked me in a mocking tone if I knew about a specific topic ( our syllabus literally covered more than whatever he is teaching ) then at lab he lashed out on me by saying “didn’t you study english curriculum, then why the hell is your english like this”, basically I’m new to the whole lab report thing so I’m still figuring it out by myself as there was no guidance so I mistakenly wrote it in present tense instead of past tense.

He said this in front of the entire class, in front of everyone. Obviously I’m going to give my all and improve but there were many other people who did similar mistakes or got lower marks but he didn’t say anything to them.

I don’t know, like scold me for my mistakes I’ll understand but continuously mocking me/insulting me because I studied a different curriculum is just…….. bad. I am probably overreacting and overthinking about this.

i want to hit my head against a wall until my brain spills out. i'd bend over, crumpling down to the floor with a newfound lightness. my hands would reach out, towards the lump of misshapen meat on the carpet, grasping at the stem. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it would unwind in my hands, onto the floor like a spool of red thread. decorated along the pink tissue would be miniscule lines. microscopic letters; descriptions of events and people and places decipherable only by the innermost part of the self -- the heart.

and so, i would dig my fingernails in deep. deep. and deeper. deeper and deeper still. and then, my fingers would grasp the weakly pulsating bloody mass. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it'd tear out of my ribcage in a satisfying manner, with a sickly sweet squelch. blood would spill out of my concave chest and stain the white carpet. my thumbnails would find purchase in the surface of the organ, peeling it open like one would an orange, splitting open at the aorta and downwards past the purkyne tissue. inside, what is inside? i peer in. i wish i hadn't. there is no answer. none. none at all. none of this matters. i tear and tear and tear into myself for nothing. i drive a blade with practiced precision into the supple flesh of my skin in an attempt to peel it away and gain even a glimpse at the person i am within, naked and bare for none to see. there is no substance. i fall. no one hears. there is nothing to hear. for i am nothing, and everything at once. i have no substance to myself, but i mimic fragments of what others do. fragments. shards. a million glass shards when glued together don't form a mirror. engraved into my subconscious. an effort to please. to be neutral. to be perceived.

and then i receive it. an answer. an answer! at last, at last. i see it. i see it all. so clear. so clear indeed. i am a grotesque, misshapen amalgamation of everything and everyone i hold dear. a summation of everything equalling to nothing of substance. nothing of value. i know what i am.

i smile as i bleed out onto the red carpet.

I'm 13, and I get periods. They hurt sometimes but they tell me I'm fine. I've had them when I was 9, which is pretty early for some reason. I've got bad days, okay days, and days where for some reason my pubic regions hurt, not my abdomen. I've never taken painkillers for this since hey, I could at least manage for a while. When it's too much, sitting down somewhere helps and hot showers too. But some women don't like it, and hate it so much they take birth control, or they feel proud and celebrate when they hit menopause maybe at 45. So does that mean I should do what they do for whatever reason, like gender dysphoria, they don't wanna get pregnant, it hurts too much or sensory issues? They do it for all the reasons, even when I don't get them. Maybe I'll get them later when I'm older. Should I Take birth control, have an IUD, maybe arm implant, or a hysterectomy, or maybe get early menopause. They all do it, and I feel like I'm missing out. All adults I see do that, and woman said, "I'm glad I got menopause. It's not as bad as people say it is! I absolutely hated the cramps and sensory issues, so this was amazing." Are my periods bad? A lot of them make it seem like this scary, looming danger that will and WILL hurt me.

I don't really know how to start this, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere and someway, because it's been years that my poor mom has had to deal with this.

I'm currently a 29(F) who often is my mom's safe person to talk to if she needs to vent about things. I've always done this throughout the years because its felt like the one thing I could do for her with her situation. (That and offer her nights out if she just needs an evening away, things like that.)

Long story short, my dad is very narcissistic and goes above and beyond to paint this perfect picture of himself to people outside of immediate family (aka us). His side of the family can do no wrong, and at some point he decided it'd be a great idea to hire my aunt, his sister, into the family business "to help her out" and have someone "to run things" even though that role was my mom's.

She's taken full advantage of it of course. Basically taking it over as his manager, and over the years she's taken over small jobs within the business that my younger siblings used to do just to help them earn a money as they go.

She treats my mom the worst though. My dad has already been controlling when it comes to finances and has always had an "allowance" type of approach when giving my mom money and hovering over her every purchase, even though the majority of the time it's necessary purchases for her family like groceries. And things have just gotten worse with my aunt butting in because now she does payroll and signs checks. Her name is on stuff that my mom should have access to regardless because of marriage, and sometimes my dad will intentionally tell my aunt not to sign things to delay paying my mom.

All of that above I know is probably illegal one way or another. She knows this, its come up in conversation. I've told her to remember that it's always something to keep it mind if it gets too much, but I think she's just worried about my younger siblings and how it'd affect then. She has her own job thankfully so she has some relief from that, but she shouldn't be stressing as much as she is each day and feeling like she's always an afterthought.

It just made me sad and upset for her. I know by the end of the day that it's not all on me, but I still feel like her emotions are my business since I care about her. There's been times lately that I just want to confront both my dad and aunt after hearing her stories but I don't want to make the situation worse for her.

Sorry for the long rant, I know it's a bit all over the place, I just needed to get that out. There's more to the story and more details as this is actively going on even current day, but I think that's a good stopping point. Thank you if you've read this far.

Recently, I experienced the joy of tying the knot, and for my wedding, my spouse crafted a stunning dress specifically for me. It holds immense sentimental value because of the time and love invested in its creation. Shortly after our celebration, my sister Elaine, who is planning her own wedding for half a year from now, asked if she could use my dress for her big day.

Elaine and I generally get along well, so it was a tough decision, but I had to decline. I proposed that we go shopping together instead, hoping to find her a unique gown that she could connect with just as deeply. To my surprise, her reaction was less than favorable, and she accused me of being selfish. When my parents intervened, they took her side, arguing that family should share everything and that it was only for a day. They couldn't understand why I was attached to an object, given my usual stance on material possessions.

The pressure from my family was intense, but I had to protect something that was a symbol of such a significant life event. As a result, I've been labeled as the bad guy, and Elaine has nearly stopped talking to me. It's a hurtful situation, but I'm trying to stand by my decision, knowing the importance of the dress to me.

Isn't it a bit much to brand me as an antagonist for wanting to preserve a cherished item? It seems like Elaine might be letting the stress of wedding planning affect her more than necessary. But then, how would the dynamics change if all this was unfolding on a reality TV show? Amidst the cameras and the scripted drama, would sympathy lean more heavily towards preserving sentimental value, or would the spectacle of a heated family argument over a wedding dress take center stage? Reality TV tends to amplify personal conflicts for entertainment, so I can only imagine it intensifying our family's tension, possibly painting me as even more of an adversary or perhaps rallying public support for my personal attachment to the dress.

Asking here because I wonder - was I right to deny my sister's request to borrow my wedding dress, even amidst family accusations of selfishness?

My older sister, who is ten years older than me, recently decided to host a gender reveal party. We have our differences, largely because of our age gap and conflicting personalities, and sometimes she comes across as quite entitled. Despite that, she is still family, making it almost obligatory for my husband and I to attend her special occasion.

To give some context, my journey to motherhood has been fraught with heartbreak. I have been pregnant four times, but tragically, none of these pregnancies resulted in a living child. I've endured three miscarriages and the devastating loss of a stillborn baby who would be turning one year old. My husband and I have since been taking time off to cope with our losses, hoping to someday be ready to try again.

Upon arriving at my sister’s party, everything was overwhelmingly adorned in pink, hinting strongly at a girl. The absence of anything blue was puzzling, given the purpose of the event. However, when the reveal finally happened, it turned out she was having a boy. My sister's reaction was extreme; she became hysterical, shouting and cursing about her disappointment and how this wasn't what she had envisioned. Her husband wasn't pleased either, dismissing the event as pointless. Watching them, I felt a mix of sadness and repulsion, knowing I would give anything to have a child of my own. Unable to bear it, we decided to leave quietly, although it didn’t go unnoticed.

Later, my sister confronted me about why we left so abruptly without offering her comfort. I tried to explain that I couldn’t empathize with her reaction, which only led her to accuse me of being judgmental and unsupportive. She expressed how her dreams were shattered, now that she had to prepare for a boy instead of a girl. During our conversation, which escalated quickly, I ended up hanging up. Predictably, this was followed by a harsh text calling me a terrible sister. My parents also intervened, implying that I should have suppressed my feelings and supported her nonetheless.

Imagine if all of this had happened on a reality show. The dramatic reveal, my sister's public meltdown, followed by the family turmoil could have been sensationalized for ratings. Viewers might have been on the edge of their seats or pouring out support and criticism alike on social media platforms. The very personal pain and familial conflicts exposed on national television could have sparked widespread controversy and discussion about the appropriateness and emotional implications of gender reveal parties.

I have a 1 yr old bunny who I give medicine to every day, I was venting to my friend in school about how scared I was. There was another girl with us who was laughing and she said ”oh sorry I was thinking about something” I call bs, she’s a rude person and overall disrespectful and disruptive. While I was mid sentence she cut me off to say something funny she saw on TikTok. Later I had a lesson and my friend skipped the lesson to go outside and the other girl, let’s call her Mary. Mary told my friend ”that girl [my name] talks SO much” while she’s screaming in school and being a pain for everyone. I was just trying to talk about my SICK bunny but no I’m not allowed to speak apparently. How disgustingly disrespectful can you be girl??