Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hi guys,

Growing up, I endured mistreatment from one of my parents. When I opened up about it, my parents separated, and the abusive parent moved out. We stayed in the same apartment, I started therapy, and life moved on.

Still, I struggled with nightmares and flashbacks, particularly triggered by my bedroom. I requested to change rooms or at least rearrange mine, but my family refused.

This discomfort persisted, and I left home as soon as possible. Even now, visiting my family makes me uneasy, a feeling that intensified after I reported the abuse in 2021 and had to recount the details of the apartment.

Now, I stay with a friend during visits.

My mother recently acquired her aunt's apartment nearby and is fervently renovating it. She often sends me photos of the progress. While I get why she wants to share, I feel resentful that there was never such excitement about updating my own space or moving while I was there. She claimed we couldn't afford to move then, but now she's taking on significant debt, which might even fall on me, as she's buying the flat to finance her aunt's care.

Compounding my distress, my mother approached the friend I stay with to rent our old apartment. It feels like I'm losing my safe haven to the shadows of my past.

To others, it may just be a series of new beginnings, and perhaps to some, an apartment is just that. My mother argues that I'm being unreasonable and insists everything is fresh and free of past burdens. She believes I should wait and see once renovations are complete. I've explained that it doesn't feel that way to me and asked her to dial back on the renovation updates, but she hasn't adjusted her approach.

What hits differently is how people's indifference makes me feel isolated. If I were on a reality show, viewers might see just how deep these "renovations" cut and could better understand why I can't just let go of the past as easily as they're redecorating.

Am I wrong for letting my emotions show and for telling her instead of acting thrilled for everyone else's sake?

!vent!(it's kinda long, srryy)

Abt 3 years ago, I transferred schools. The first month was fine, I didn't really have any friends, but that was okay with me because I've always been shy and introverted. But the second month is when things took a turn for the worse. This really popular girl, who I never really paid any attention to, started picking on me for no reason. It's not that serious at first because she's just giving me looks and sneering subtle jabs at me... until she starts calling me slurs, pushing me and hitting me, fat-shaming me, and telling her inner circle of friends or whatever to bully me as well. It reached a climax when she and some of her friends ganged up on me and, uh, beat me. I'm a boy (kind of short for my grade, I'm 5'4, so they were able to get an advantage on me), however, so no one really believed me. Even when I showed the teachers the scratches, cuts, bruises, etc., all they did was email her parents. :/ At this point, I'm depressed (still am) and started not eating because her comments about my weight got to me (still do). I can't tell my parents because they have their own issues with themselves, each other, and at their jobs (we're not in a financially stable position, so I can't really change schools easily). About 5 months in(i think) and I'm at my lowest mentally and sometimes even physically as the popular girl would hit me with a variety of items. That's when he entered my life, he was also new and had moved from California, at first he would sit next to me at lunch and just silently eat next to me, then he would ask to partner up with me in school projects, and eventually we became friends. He would share his lunch with me if I forgot to pack mine or couldn't afford any school lunch, he let me come over to his house and tutor me for hours on his own time, always included (at first) me even when he gained new friends, and we had special nicknames for eachother that only we could use. He also defended me whenever the popular girl tried to bully me and her bullying became much less frequent. I love this guy and was scared to admit this to him because I'm also a guy and wasn't sure if he felt the same. This all changed the second year i think? he started becoming more distant, which was unnoticeable at first but then I spotted him with the popular girl. I felt betrayed because they were sitting next to eachother, at a secluded table, laughing and eating as if he hadn't witnessed her call me terrible names, punch me, and text me awful things. I was so freaking confused and confronted him about it. He shrugged it off and they became closer, and closer, and closer. Until, you guessed it, they announced they were dating. It got worst bc when she picked back up bullying me(sometimes i wonder if its even worse now) he's present for most of it and either stays silent or laughs/chuckles. I don't know what I did wrong. This is pretty much my everyday life now and I hate going back to school everyday. He won't even look at me without showing me the middle finger and laughing at me. I sit alone now and cry pretty much everyday bc I love him and I can't figure out what the fuck I did wrong. I've stopped eating again(sometimes for days at a time), I'm going comatose for most of the day, and my grades are dropping. I just want him back.

I’m put into a position where I have to choose who to live with. Either my grandma or my mom and it’s hard because I love them both and I hate that I’m forced here. My mom is going to move out because my grandma says that she brings trouble to the house and because my mom forgave her boyfriend after he hit her and took her car. So my grandma is making my mom move out so my mom and her boyfriend can live together instead of bringing him here to where I’m currently staying (which is in a home with my grandma and my mom). Today my grandma asked me “Your mother is looking for a place to live. I assume you’ll stay here with me, right?” <— (In Spanish) and all I did was look down. I didn’t give her a clear answer so she shrugged it off but it makes my chest ache, feeling like my family is falling apart and there’s nothing I can do. I don’t want to have to choose who to live with, I just want things to be happy.

And on top of all of that I just wish I could have a dad to go to. “Daddy issues” is so sexualized but it’s not my fault my own father isn’t there for me emotionally / mentally so now every time I see a dad and daughter having a healthy relationship it makes me cry and I get so jealous that it hurts. My mom doesn’t have her shit together, she’s always coddling her boyfriend and there’s no privacy with her or her boyfriend because of a camera I mentioned in one of my other vent stories. I just wish I had both of them, a mom to go to that respects my privacy and can just comfort me and a dad who can do the same. But I’m 15 and I’m already aware of the dangers online so I don’t trust easy anymore after having a couple online friends that talked behind my back to my boyfriend. My boyfriend also has his own things that he’s going through and I don’t want to burden him so I wish I could have my own online family. Like a little support system to escape reality.

I wish there was a way to factory reset my family, lol.

Recently, my friend Angela has been going through quite a rough patch with her husband, and it seems like she needs all the support she can get. Our friendship had been on pause for about four years, but we've reconnected. Now, she has developed a habit of popping by whenever she feels like it, usually with a whole crowd in tow.

Just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with, let's talk about last Friday, which happened to be her husband’s birthday. Earlier in the week, she mentioned she was planning a dinner outing for him. However, on Friday morning, her plans seemed to change. She rang me up, curious about what I was doing. When I mentioned that I planned a quiet day watching movies at home, she immediately pitched the idea of coming over to my place for a BBQ instead. She assured me that it would just be her and the kids, which seemed manageable, so I agreed, though a bit reluctantly since I wasn't prepared for guests.

No sooner had I started tidying up than she called again, now more excited than before. Suddenly, her solo family visit had expanded to include a male friend of hers and possibly another one for me, plus another one of her friends. Just like that, my quiet day turned into a potential party scene without my consent. She hadn't asked if it was okay to invite additional people or even if she could distribute my address.

Overwhelmed, I used an incoming call as an excuse to hang up and buy some time. When Angela didn't hear back from me, she inundated my phone with calls. Eventually, I texted her that something unexpected had come up and that hosting was off the table. She didn’t respond. Curious, I later called to check in only to find out she had dropped the BBQ idea altogether. When I questioned her about not using her apartment and grill, and scrapping the dinner plans, she dodged the former and mentioned wanting to save money on the latter.

Now, imagine if all of this happened with cameras rolling in a reality show setting. The confrontation, unexpected guests, and last-minute cancellations would probably escalate dramatically, showcasing a mix of hectic planning and perhaps some humorous, awkward interactions. The viewers would get a kick out of seeing how everyone's reactions played out live, adding an extra layer of entertainment and possibly some sympathy for my predicament.

Was I wrong for evading the setup and ignoring her follow-up calls?

My family was eager to have pets, so we ended up adopting a mixed breed dog from the local shelter and two kittens. While everyone enjoyed playing with the new additions, the task of actually taking care of them fell entirely on my shoulders.

Every morning at 5:30 a.m., I was the one taking the dog for walks, cleaning the litter boxes, handling all the vet visits, buying and preparing their meals, and tidying up their feeding areas. If I left any of these tasks to my partner or the kids, they would either forget or do such a sloppy job that I ended up having to redo it anyway.

The situation was similar with the house plants and the indoor herb and vegetable garden my partner decided to start. They lost interest after the initial excitement, leaving me to deal with the aftermath of neglected plants: dead leaves, spilled soil, and pest infestations. If I didn’t step in to water and care for them, no one would.

Maintaining a clean and orderly home is important to me, especially since I grew up in a household that hoarded animals, resulting in a living environment that was far from ideal. I’m determined not to let history repeat itself in my own home. Unfortunately, if I don’t keep on top of the pets’ needs, the consequences are immediate and messy—the cats will spray if their litter isn’t clean, and the dog will chew and cause havoc if not walked regularly.

Given the lack of initiative from my family, I’ve decided to move the pets outdoors for the time being. The dog now has a doghouse, and the cats are outdoor cats, until the family proves they can handle the responsibility of indoor pets. Of course, in extreme weather conditions, I’ll bring them back inside. The plants are going outdoors too.

I’M DONE.

Honestly, if my life was a series on a reality TV show, I can only imagine the chaos and drama my frustrations would stir up each episode. Viewers would probably be divided; some might sympathize with my plight while others could argue that my measures are too drastic. It would definitely spark debate.

If I were to be featured on a reality show, how do you think viewers would react to my actions?

man, i swear, i cant do this anymore, i feel like im just existing and nothing matters, like no matter what i do, its just the same thing every day, wake up, feel like shit, go to work, pretend im fine, come home, sit in my room overthinking everything, then go to sleep just to do it all over again, like what is even the point, im so tired, like not just sleepy tired but that deep inside tired that dont go away no matter how much i rest, i feel empty, i feel like nobody even notices me, like i could just stop talking and no one would even care, maybe they’d be relieved, maybe im just annoying, maybe im the problem, i try to tell myself its just a bad phase, that ill get over it, but i been saying that for so long now and nothing ever changes, people say "just talk to someone" but what do i even say?? hey, im miserable and i hate my life and i wish everything was different but its not and i have no idea how to fix it?? yeah, sure, that sounds real normal, theyll just tell me to "stay positive" or "it gets better" but how do they know that it gets better when every day just feels worse, i feel like im stuck, like im trapped in this life i dont even wanna live, and i dont see a way out, i see people happy and i wonder how they do it, how they wake up and actually look forward to things, bc for me there is nothing, i dont have friends, i dont have family that cares, i dont have a future that looks anything but miserable, and no matter how much i try to pretend like im okay, im not, and i havent been for a long time, i feel like a failure, like everything i touch falls apart, like no matter how hard i try i always end up back at zero, people say im young and i have time, but what does that even mean?? time for what, more of this, more feeling like i dont belong, more pretending like im fine when im screaming inside, im so exhausted, and i just want it to stop, i dont even know what that means anymore, all i know is i cant take it anymore, i keep thinking maybe something will change, maybe ill wake up one day and things will feel different, but they never do, and im scared they never will, bc honestly, i dont know how much longer i can keep doing this, its like my body keeps going but my mind checked out a long time ago, nothing makes me happy, nothing excites me, i see people making plans for their future and i dont even know if i want a future, bc what if its just more of this, more feeling alone, more failure, more emptiness, i try to distract myself, i try to push it down, but it always comes back, the feeling that im not meant to be here, that maybe i was never supposed to be here, that maybe im just wasting space, and i know, i know, people say "you matter" but do i really?? bc it dont feel like it, and i just dont know what to do anymore.

I've been trying. I've been really trying to be better. But nothing i've tried really works. Whenever i looks like i took a step foward i take two back. I don't know what to do. Lately things have been only getting worse. And i think my anxiety Is getting worse too. And i'm so tired. I'm so tired of feeling anxious. I'm so tired of trying. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of feeling so horrible. I feel like i'm ruining everything. All over again. And i feel like i'm dragging my loved ones down with me. They don't deserve that. I'm sorry. I don't want to be like this. But i don't know how to fix It. The more i think about, the more i think that maybe i'm a bad person, and that maybe i can't fix anything afterall.

I typically use a diary to write this stuff, but I feel like I need to post this again somewhere it can be seen, but not easily by the person it's about.

I've been crushing on someone for a little while, and only last month was I able to make moves on her. Things seemed to be going well, but then flirting was met with offputting responses, but I was never told to stop, as many times as I asked about whether it was fine or not. We know what each other look like, she's really attractive and all I got was "you're not bad" or something. I forget. Used to it.

But the other night changed everything. It seemed she had never been interested from the start, and it only took her mentioning a guy she liked for all of it to really come out. Like, why not just tell me right away? "Hey anon, before you continue, I'm just not interested in you" or something would have been nice way sooner. But no, I get to hear how "this guy is so hot" and he makes her just so happy and stuff, he makes her feel seen (something I've been doing for her for a while) and I guess he's just better in every way.

I'm just not that guy. I hate not being that guy. It hurts a lot, I just want someone I like to like me back properly. I have my shit in order, but I guess that's the one thing I can never have.

Slightly offtopic, but anime goes around and shows how great love can really be, and yet, as one of the many viewers they're curated for, it's just not something I'm going to get myself.

So fuck love, I guess. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of trying for people who only appreciate me because I'm there, and not because I'm who I am. I want to be more than just some guy. I want to be a girl's guy.

It's a little silly, but I started building a playlist that basically marked me throughout my life. It started off silly with The Crazy Frog because...who hasn't heard The Crazy Frog as a child, right ? But then, the more I listen to the music I used to listen to, the more it made me realize that wow, I was a pretty hopeful and positive kid, and I started crying thinking "how dare those people hurt a child like that and why did I let myself get bitter ?". Still crying as I type.

Anyways, I'm off to putting in more songs. Btw, I'm considering sending the finished playlist to my therapist. Should I send it ? Hope y'all have a good day/night !

Heyah!

This story isn't my own. It's from one of my teachers. And no names are included.

Dude was my Math teacher(HS). I was always curious about my teachers lives... So they shared.

At the time... I wanted to be a wedding planner. So, I asked a lot of my teachers about their weddings or their romantic relationships.

I was sorta the goodie-two-shoes. So they shared with me.

Back to my math teacher... He shared that he God super drunk on his wedding. And he bought a fake cake... Which I can understand for budget reasons, but at least get the top of the cake for the 1 year anniversary😭!! Dude didn't🫠. He bought Costco's sheet cake. Again, nothing wrong with that. I just personally think the getting drunk on one's own wedding isn't very smart.

The next story is if my ASL teacher. She was dating a dude for 7 years, then the dude cheated on her. She was very sweet... Albeit pretty shy... But cheating shouldn't be happening😑. Regardless of any excuses... Talk to your partner. Get therapy. Talk to some friends, family, even strangers can help give advice. Also, if dude had feelings for someone else, but still loved my ASL teacher... Is that really love? What is love? Dating for 7 years, you'd think all your opinions, beliefs, and expectations would align at some point.

Same goes for one of my therapists... Girly dated this dude for 5 years, no ring, and a cheater. My therapist said that she used to be a "plain Jane" but started eating healthier, taking care of herself, and simply enjoying her life more than she was before. She'd get dolled up and spend time with her SO. And the shitty part is that after a vacation to I think it was some sorta islandy area... Greece or Italy I think... Dude broke up with her after finding someone he liked better. My therapist at the time said the girl looked like how she used to be... "Plane Jane". Nothing wrong with a plain Jane... But come on, break up before the cheating. And due was cheating on my therapist for 3 years🫠. Sad ain't it🥴. By the way... This relates to school cause she was my HS therapist😅.

Heyah! I'm just gonna go by X...

So, yesterday, March 28, 2025... I was in a minor car accident. At least I thought I was in a minor car accident🫠. But my cousin... Who's a personal injury attorney said, "nope, what you went through wasn't a minor car accident... I work on cases like these for a living"😅. So, apparently it's not normal for a car to be completely dented in after being hit🤷🏻‍♀️. And it's not normal for the metal to be sticking out🤦🏻‍♀️. But that's beside the point . I thought I was fine, totally fine. But I think I was just in shock. The next day rolls around and my arm is bruised and my hip isn't happy, and I'm hella tired🤕!! And luckily my Lyft driver wasn't the one who caused the collision, but it's still annoying that the large car hit into my side of the door😑. Be safe out there lovely people... Cause you never know who's out there and what kinda driver they are😐.

Eat good food and drink lots of water😋👍🏻✨!!

i am 34 and i am a woman who has been through enough cycles of disappointment to recognize the pattern without romanticizing it. past relationships followed the same workflow, initial alignment, rising expectations, emotional debt, and then a slow system failure that left me managing the fallout alone. i recently finalized a divorce, which sounds clinical but felt like a long decommissioning process, shutting down shared assets, shared routines, shared hope. people tell me i should feel relief, and i do, in a measured way, like checking a dashboard and seeing no more critical alerts. still, the historical data matters, and it shapes my risk tolerance when it comes to feelings.

now there is this new guy, and the situation does not match my previous models. he communicates clearly, respects boundaries, and shows consistent behavior over time, which in relationship terms feels like stable infrastructure. i am not used to that. my nervous system keeps running old scripts, scanning for hidden costs, waiting for a sudden outage. happiness feels unfamiliar, almost like a foreign interface with no manual. i notice myself doing emotional forecasting, assuming loss before gain, trying to control outcomes instead of experiencing them. it is strange how calm kindness can feel louder than chaos, and how silence without tension can make me uneasy 🙂

i try to stay objective and observe what is happening without judgment. from a behavioral standpoint, this is a healthy dynamic, low volatility, high trust, good long term indicators. yet my internal compliance department keeps flagging it as suspicious. years of bad relationships trained me to equate intensity with value and conflict with connection. now there is space, and i do not know how to fill it without breaking something. part of me wants to self sabotage just to return to familiar ground; it feels safer to manage pain i know than to invest in joy i do not fully understand.

i am learning that happiness does not always arrive with fireworks, sometimes it shows up as reliability and shared planning. i am trying to reframe this phase as a pilot program rather than a final launch, gathering data, allowing small wins. fear does not mean something is wrong, it might mean something is different. i keep asking myself, and maybe you too, what if being happy is not a trap but a skill that can be learned? i do not have the answer yet, but i am willing to stay curious and see where this goes, because growth often starts exactly at the point where comfort ends.

This is just a vent (tw mentions of sui**de)

I messed up last night. This whole week I've been going through a depressive episode and felt sui***al and I guess yesterday was my breaking point. I rushed to my room cause I wanted to be alone. My dad tried to talk to me and I started to cry so I turned my back cause I didn't want him to see my face, and he called me disrespectful. He told me to never cry cause its a sign of vulnerability and weakness but I can't help it. I rushed to the bathroom crying and locked the door cause I just wanted to be alone for a while, but he kept banging the door and yelling at me to get out. To sum it up, he tried to break the door down, and broke the glass near the door to enter, he yelled at me, I yelled back about how I've felt this way ofr 3 years and wanted to end my life (I just acted on my emotions without think and I regret it) I was called disrespectful, selfish and childish, and other kids have it worse than me (I already know that, which is why I feel even worse for feeling this way) my mom and sister tried to restrain me when I wanted to leave, leaving my arms sore (I literally just wanted to go to my room!!) What hurt the most is that I made them cry, even my dad had tear and I've never seen him shed a tear.

I'm not sui**dal right now and my emotions are in control, but I still feel alot like sh*t. My dad hasn't said a word to me and I'm to scared and ashamed to even look at him. My birthday is literally tomorrow and I've messed everything up. I hate it so much.

I feel like a girl tried to trick me. She was a girl in great need of affection and love who wisely approached me at a time when the sequence was crucial in my life, recently, with an issue that was suspected to be a tooth problem. The girl hugged me, kissed my cheek, caressed me, made sure I didn't leave. In short, she welcomed me maternally at a time when I needed it most. Besides, I was with my mother and father, and they definitely didn't do that. She went so far as to listen to me, understand me, and actually value my music, something my parents simply rejected.

I feel like she abused her profession to do this. What would she have been capable of with that girl? All of this left lasting scars on me later. Why did she have to approach me like that? I feel like she hurt me so much. She was on the verge of jeopardizing my job, my life, everything. Why did it have to be like that? Also, having told her I was suffering from a psychological disorder. Damn, really, that girl was the one who hurt me the most. Why did she act so recklessly like that? Any inappropriate treatment becomes dangerous for me, whether it's on my part toward others or from others toward me, given the lack of control it caused me. I feel like her attitude wasn't right.

I feel overwhelmed, overworked after that experience. Who was that girl? Why did she treat me like that? Until recently, she practically had me at her feet. I feel like this wasn't right. I even thought I was in love, for God's sake! How could that be possible? I feel cheated, and I don't doubt that she knows about these kinds of methods. Besides, she was the kind of girl who makes special moments.

For God's sake, how far was this going to go? Now I feel like I just want her to go away. I was about to throw myself into a fierce void, into hell. I didn't know where I was going, I had no idea of ​​the consequences. I was willing to go without any consequences! I never want to see that girl again in my life! The girl had me captivated. For God's sake! For God's sake, why wouldn't she answer or bother checking my WhatsApp? Besides, after acting so maternal and close, she suddenly abandoned me and made me look bad. Holy Mother of God! Where was this girl going to take me? And at a time when I was feeling bad! This is the worst thing that could have happened to me!

Dearest friends, why the hell did this have to happen to me? I felt like I was on the way to ruining my life, my sacred life. Don't people get tired of trying to ruin my life? For God's sake. She had already tried to ruin it recently. My calm, my most sacred calm, was about to be ruined, destroyed, shattered again. Where would I get trapped? In what, for God's sake? What could I possibly do under these circumstances? I already felt this girl was a danger from the start. And the worst part is that everyone there adores her. Why did someone like that have to touch me? Why? What did I do? I wanted peace of mind. There's no justification for this behavior. I've never done anything like this, have I? Could I have been a narcissist too?

I could already see that girl betraying my trust, making my life hell. I already felt cornered by her! I already felt she was shattering my expectations to the hilt! I felt she played with my feelings! That girl did this recklessly, even before surgery! She was also extremely silent and acting as if nothing had happened. What the hell would I run into if I saw her again? I already felt I had to escape from something. Why did I have to fall into this hell? This was the worst. That was the worst thing those doctors could have done to me, the worst, for God's sake. They gave me a monster present! And the worst part is that I was standing right in front of my mom, and my mom hadn't done anything.

The worst part is that it was at a time when I was completely out of my depth, for God's sake! I thought I was good, different, a bitter illusion. I was already surprised that I was the most popular! Of course! Everyone is safe from her! I already felt like I was losing control because of her. And I was already thinking about going all the way to where she worked! It makes me faint. This can't happen to me. What the hell is she still doing now, for God's sake? Plus, she's sucking up to my parents! She's acting the good guy! The woman was swarming me, for God's sake. What trap could I have fallen into? I was walking right into a trap. This can't happen to me. It can't be. This isn't fair. Why do so many people want to destroy my life? I'm tired of escaping. And in a medical service? For God's sake, I never want to enter that girl's life. I feel like I could die from this. Why did this happen to me? Attacks from all sides, for God's sake. On top of that, playing with my mental health, being deteriorated, begging for help, this is the worst thing the system could have done to me. I never thought that at my job I would be they're going to send me to a place like that, with that quality. I feel like I'm going to die of rage, of sadness. I mean, even in that service, they abused me. This can't be what happened to me. Everyone took advantage of it to tear my life apart.

And I'm justifying to this girl that I was different! She had me in a frenzy! How far was this going to go? I never want to remember this girl again. Never, ever. And pretending to be good, in love, saintly, different, that she doesn't judge. Am I really that annoying? It happened to me at my previous job, also with some girls. How far is this going to go? How far is this going to go? It can't be. It can't be that they won't leave me alone. I refuse to believe it. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack because of this. And the worst part is that when I was in that service, no one protected me. To the point of succumbing to a hell from which no one was going to get me out because of the prejudices against me, which they truly are. I just tried to present true facts in a way that people couldn't refute without proof at hand, as it should have been, and also transparent to others. For God's sake, I was almost falling.

On the verge of losing almost everything. It can't be that this happened to me during my treatment. Even during my treatment, right when I should have been calmer. Now it was with this girl, who do I reveal this to? And then with someone else? I felt like an unprotected child again, at the mercy of madness, without parents even though they were there. I mean, it can't be that I was truly alone in those circumstances. I really don't understand. No one was protecting me from going to hell, no one, even though I needed to, even though I wasn't fit to handle myself.

And my psychiatrist yesterday told me to drop this treatment thing! Is everyone trying to make me fall? Everyone? This can't be happening to me. Seriously, this can't be happening to me.

I'm having a hard time, promise.. it feels overwhelming. I thought if you were a teacher, at least you were the boss. etc. I'll go back to sleep soon.