Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I have quite the temper and I get mad at the slightest provocation okay, and everyone in my family knows that.

They love to get on my nerves and when I get mad they would say stuff like why would you fall for it, and why are you like this. Basically questioning my reaction.

I've failed to take my motorcycle license 3 times if I'm not wrong. The first time I failed I've only driven a motorcycle three times. She rushed me to take the test because my cousin was ready to take it. We took it together. My cousin already knew how to ride long before me and I learned on the first day. When I failed and he passed my mom wouldn't talk to me. same as the other 2 failure.

I didn't want to continue because it's a waste of money if I keep failing. Now she wants me to take a car license and I don't want to. Everyone kept on making fun of me and said stuff that offended me. I got mad and didn't want to talk back because I didn't want to scream and shout like I did before. (I'm on a journey to change) Now I would isolate myself from others when I'm mad to cool myself down. But they don't like that either sheesh.

After that I was brushing my teeth in the kitchen and my sister asked me to move because she needed something from the rack above the sink. I did then she went away so I continued to brush my teeth and suddenly she shoved my face with her arm. I asked what her problem was and she just said I told you to move.

okay at that point I was already overstimulated with all the things going on and she just had to make it worse. and I'm on the verge of just lashing out at everybody. Please I need advice on anything that I can do to keep a calm composure

I’m so so frustrated, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I had this childhood best friend ( friends since age 3 ) who I dearly loved but as days went by she kept getting so toxic. For example she started hiding stuff from me while she told those same things to our other friends ( we are in the same friend group ). She went abroad for university while I stayed back and I was at peace for a while but recently I kept seeing that she becomes online whenever I am online. On my birthday she randomly posted a story where she posted pictures of our other friends and wrote “ Family “ . I mean obviously she can put pictures of our friends but why on my birthday????. Am I overthinking this?

What’s worse is that I keep dreaming about her, that we are normal, that she apologized, that we talk about what went wrong and it’s messing with my head. I know it was toxic and I know we are better off like this but I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I miss her so much?

I keep thinking that it’s my fault that everything turned out like this.

I used to think hard work and performance actually meant something, but now? I give up. Every day at my job, it’s less about who does the best work and more about who checks the right boxes. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m just showing up, doing my best, and watching people get ahead for reasons that have nothing to do with skill or effort. At first, I tried to ignore it. I thought, Okay, just focus on your own progress, keep your head down, and things will even out. But they don’t. Instead of real career development, all we get is more “woke” initiatives, endless diversity trainings, and company-wide emails patting themselves on the back for promoting people based on identity instead of talent. Don’t get me wrong—I believe in fairness, equal chances, all that. But that’s not what this is. It’s not about fairness; it’s about looking good on paper. I’ve watched coworkers bust their ass for years, only to get passed over for someone less experienced because “we need more representation in leadership.” It’s like performance doesn’t matter anymore—just optics. And it’s exhausting pretending it doesn’t get to me.

I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, but lately, I’m asking myself why? If the promotions, raises, and recognition are going to people based on factors completely outside of their work, then what’s the point? Every meeting feels like another round of performative nonsense. We can’t even talk about improving sales or efficiency without someone throwing in a forced social angle, as if productivity is suddenly a dirty word. And don’t even get me started on the “optional” events that aren’t really optional—if you don’t attend the latest DEI seminar or pride workshop, you’re suddenly not a “team player.” Meanwhile, the actual job we’re here to do keeps getting harder, expectations keep rising, and the only thing that isn’t improving is the people actually running things. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this new version of the workplace, but at this point, I don’t care anymore. I’ve seen what gets rewarded and what doesn’t, and it’s clear that playing fair isn’t the way to win. So yeah—I give up. Not because I can’t keep up, but because I’m tired of pretending this system makes any sense.

I feel that many people disrespect one's solitude. In fact, they see the messages one writes about it and attack it, making it seem like a shock. Indeed, loneliness isn't one's entire world; however, when faced with difficult experiences, I think it's advisable to spend time alone to reflect on it.

Many people tend to exaggerate about loneliness. They make it seem like it's everything in life. I'd like to express to many people that the world isn't just your friends, but your very life as well. It's about having a balance.

I was recently writing a story on a writers' website, and they started judging me, not the story. I feel like people sometimes get carried away when one talks about the subject; they try to find fault with the other, the origin of why I wrote this way or why I said that. They try to personalize everything. On a writers' website or in a group about it, what matters is just getting into what's at stake, not going beyond it.

Loneliness is a beautiful topic to explore given that it's not often talked about. I feel it's helpful for reaching boundaries. I used to be someone who spent time in groups and always sought to be part of one, but I reached a point where I noticed things weren't proceeding naturally. Also, when I somehow looked beyond or let myself get carried away, I always ran into trouble. I feel that loneliness is a precise time to see what I was getting involved in. I think it will give me the perspective to see where I truly belong. It's not about having a place because others make room for you; that speaks to the fact that sooner or later that will fall apart.

I still don't understand, and that's why the character's comment affects me so much, because it is so questionable. No one knows what loneliness entails at first. It's all a fear of sensations, and no one seeks tools to deal with them. If you're lonely for some reason and you don't see any other way out, in order to guarantee your integrity, I personally believe that we need to find ways to do something with what we feel, not wallow in it, or see what we're experiencing as hell. I feel that wouldn't be fair to us.

People prevent us from delving deeper into loneliness. They always want to get away from it at all costs. That's why, of course, many of us, when we were with our families, it was a segregated place, most likely, because it meant not being with others. Why should not being with others be bad? Indeed, there are times when we may feel bad, but we must take into account that sometimes people won't be there, and we can't allow ourselves to abandon ourselves in those moments. The search for others can't become an addiction; that is, the fear of falling into a situation, which could be, is present; you never know.

Many therapists radically reject this idea. In fact, you get the ambiguous idea that being alone isn't always good, but of course, one wonders under what conditions. These therapists aren't serving as guides for us to consolidate these conditions. In fact, therapy itself, for many professionals, is an ambiguous approach, which surely results in a repetition of notions. The idea is that one can consolidate facts to gain the momentum to act, in an integrated manner, not in an intellectualized way, an issue in which the therapist should support us, but many are unable to visualize, to facilitate the process, something that other people who aren't trained can't do.

I remember a therapist telling me how to think when the point is precisely to think naturally, spontaneously, to deal precisely with whatever is at stake. Otherwise, what you're doing is conspiring a kind of patch, a spectrum of things, that merely verify that what you're doing is right, according to the character's approval. It's not about exerting control over ideas, but rather about taking whatever paths we must take. Frankly, today, the idea of ​​resorting to violence is ridiculous, given that we always seek stability by inertia, always; that's what our processes—our personal processes—are based on. We may appear to be going to be violent, but in the end, let's be clear, this is a facade or at least a warning of when we are being taken to extreme situations where we are not as we always were because we are not in the same conditions as always.

With the mindset I've developed over the last few days, I feel deeply impacted by the behavior of these people and these therapists. In the end, things turn out to be completely similar: a terrible mental health professional is the same as an individual who doesn't know what to do with a certain circumstance—the same, but under a range of prejudices. I feel disappointed by the therapists I sought out because the very idea is to provide solutions, methodologically concrete answers, not something outside of them. Without methodology, then, we're doing nothing.

I feel that many therapists stick to following protocols, in a way that's completely detached from the case, applying them however they feel comfortable. This is the reason they act distantly and without delving into the case, always trying to get the person to follow the path. The aforementioned therapist always looked for ways to address the distancing she created from her; I understand that this was a symptom; to this day, I doubt that this person has realized that I didn't want to work with her. In fact, this character returned at my father's request, despite all this evidence. He simply speaks to me as someone who isn't concerned, who seeks the origin of the issue in my personality, detaching himself from the notion that if I act this way in the relationship, it's because of the pink issue in the relationship. My senses aren't disconnected from reality. Organically, I'm fine. But this being, even with a doctorate, I didn't understand this, and I highly doubt I still understand it today, and it's somewhat disappointing. Frankly, I wouldn't want to think this way because money was invested in it, and it hurts.

The person's comment affects me greatly because it makes me return to that therapist. Of course, this allows me to develop the story. In fact, I feel so frustrated that it has become a constant headache, and it has been lessening as I compose my story of interaction with the character. This is something I don't allow therapists, or other therapists, precisely because of the fear of repression. It's something that's extremely difficult to do.

Every day, I also find myself surprised by another therapist. It's that when he becomes aware of many things, it really hurts. I didn't like these considerations I'm receiving because they're hurting me. Anyway, with this other therapist, despite the disqualification he made, the establishment's entry into conflict with me to guide me through life by comparing me with others, restricting me in the expression of my feelings, and scolding me for making people outside the office look bad for me by moving things around, going beyond the purpose of the consultation, this guy had the good fortune to express that he didn't have the maturity at that moment to handle the treatment. Under the pressure I was under, I think it was only natural for that to happen. I don't know where the hell this guy was, frankly. I understand that maturity for him is the ability to give in to whatever he wants. I don't see this guy as a therapist or as a carnival.

I've lost myself, I think. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm mad at everybody for reasons I can't explain. I'm upsetting everyone somehow but I don't remember when I say or do something to upset people. My memory gaps have gotten so bad that all of my friends probably hate me but I don't remember why. Where has my memory gone? who even am I anymore?

Okk so the second half of the school year and damnn I have a LOT of free classes I can both come later to school and leave early and yk what I’m happy but here’s the thing WHAT DO I DOOOO??? My parents r so draining to be around and even as I was in school today I wouldn’t mind staying longer if it means I don’t have to be with them, but what am I going do tho?? Some days I’m having a special class in the morning so don’t have to worry about them but after school and the other days?? ‘Get a job’ I PHYSICALLY CANT ‘Volunteer’ good suggestions but something feels off I don’t have any friends so can’t chill at their house or hang out with them. Theres a library near but I can’t be there every single day till June??? I mean I could.. i have a lot of personal work to be done, ok good suggestions but what else?? And I lwk want smt far bc the only negative thing about my school is its way too close want to chill in the supermarkets near it? What if I see one of my parents?? Just chill near the park/grass area(well I wouldn’t do that people from my school there and way to awkward) and parents too. Take the public transport? PARENTS COULD ALSO BE ON THERE Theres a fast food place near the school but as u imagine near a school it’s gonna be always crowded so uber eats might be seeing a lot of me this year! Also connects to this - this Friday the 2 classes I have both teachers just said we will go see a show and like yh so basically a free day I don’t even have to go school WTH? I couldn’t have gotten this amazing blessing with nice and chill parents?? But lwk not wanting to see this show , it’s so crowded and just not a good space for my head , hopefully I can get out after I get registered. Maybe do a good delivery hmm anyway yh fine if u don’t have any suggestions thanks for reading too!

As someone who captures weddings through the lens of a camera, I've encountered my first situation where I’m seriously considering declining to cover an event. I secured a wedding booking back in February and had a preliminary chat with the couple, where they mentioned a broad destination without pinning down the exact location. I agreed on the condition that they would update me accordingly. Similarly, they didn't provide a specific time for the event.

Over the following months, I attempted to reach out for details but my messages were left unanswered. By mid-June, with the wedding fast approaching on the 30th, there was still radio silence from their side.

Driven to find answers, I contacted another vendor involved in the wedding. Shockingly, I learned that the couple had shifted their wedding site to a spot three hours away, now planning to start the event at 5 AM, followed by a two-mile trek to the venue. All this, and still no word directly from the couple themselves. Additionally, the vendor hinted that these plans might not even be final.

Despite having received payment upfront, we had never formalized a contract detailing the agreement's specifics. Now, just five days away from the event, I find myself in a dilemma whether I should cancel. The thought of traveling all that distance only to possibly find the venue changed again is daunting.

If I cancel, I think it would be fair to offer a full or at least partial refund due to the circumstances. However, I’m open to suggestions on how to handle this professionally. I was hesitating for the category between the one I chose and the Bridezilla category... hard to choose :)

Imagine how this scenario would unfold if it were part of a reality TV show. Cameras following every tense moment as I struggle with the decision, juxtaposed with the intrigue of the wedding couple’s erratic planning. The drama of it could captivate viewers, showing the real challenges faced by wedding vendors, often hidden behind the glamour of the big day. But would the public sympathize with my predicament or see it as an overreaction? The suspense and possible conflict might make for riveting television but would certainly add another layer of stress in reality.

(read this first https://iiwiars.com/school/try-to-change-me-loser-bastards)

...

I won't change too much size if I cosplay Joseph, right? And my parents won't get mad and not let me go to MEFCC if I score low or not pass, right? I just want a break from school, and when I messaged mom, "I have been more motivated to sleep, draw, eat food and walk listening to music than this.😑" She messaged, "Don’t we all want that 😂🤪" while laughing when I called her. Like, mom even told me she was a topper, she wanted to do well all the time, it was high pressure stakes, mom didn't wanna score 80% because that was her low, and she told me that "There are other jobs which require you to not be good at math" when I asked her why she doesn't hold me at high standards. I asked mom why the kids score the specific decimal scores in those India topper boards, and mom agreed when I asked if they do this for extra competition, kinda like, "Yes" and didn't say much.

I know kids who failed in school become great, but I think I'm not one of them. I'm no Einstein, or Mark Zuckerberg, or Bill Gates, or any great person who flopped school and made it big. I'm just me, just a loser in school. I'm not even gonna secure a job. When mom said when she got her first salary in a telecommunications, she spent it on gifts for her mom, her brother, her young cousins at the time, and for herself she got a reservation in a posh restaurant in India. And I was like, "Why would you do that?! Don't tell me to do that, I'll be minimum wage!" And mom was like, "No way", but I love my first salary money, especially if I'm gonna work in McDonald's like every other normal kid. Or scrubbing floors as a janitor. Or maid-work, or babysitting with minimum wage. Every kid who struggles like me ends up working the jobs where everyone spits at them, all under the guise of "Honest Work" when we deserve better, more money for keeping every fat white guy sane. My family may give me chances, but I don't deserve them. I don't. My parents may not have started like every American kid's parents, they had jobs in engineering and went to different parts of world (mom worked in USA and dad in Switzerland for a few months) and Bangalore for a while, but nope, not me. If it's possible, it could happen! McDonald's job is possible, it could happen. I know I'm more skilled than that, but so are the artists who work there till they're 50 as managers. Instagram jokes about piano majors working as floor-scrubbers because their larger hands clean more surface area.

THAT'S ALL LIFE FUCKING IS! JUST YOU THINKING YOU'RE AMAZING UNTIL YOU FUCKING AREN'T, BLOODY CUNTS. I WANNA BEAT MYSELF SO MUCH I PASS OUT BLOODY ON THE FLOOR I'M THAT WORTHLESS! THAT'S ALL WHAT HAPPENS TO ARTISTS, JUST WIPING AWAY WINDOW PANES AND SERVING PEOPLE FOOD! TELL ME MINIMUM WAGE WORKERS, HOW OLD ARE YOUR MANAGERS, I BET THEY'RE 50 AND WHAT I EXPLAINED! I'M WORTHLESS! WHY CAN'T MY CUNT-BRAINED PARENTS GET THIS IN THEIR FUCKING SKULLS!?

Can I be able to be a good writer if I'm not into reading books too much? I like reading poetry, but sometimes I feel like I don't understand it either. I love reading short stories with big pictures, but long stories? So far, not my style.

But I love writing poetry tho and I do merely as a hobbie not like a job or something. But what if one day I wanna publish something just to earn a little bit of money?

man, i was so pumped about this new gig i scored. you ever just hype something up in your head like it's gonna change your life? that's where i was. imagining myself in this dream job, strutting in with that big shot energy, taking over the world one meeting at a time. i thought, finally, i'm about to be where i've always wanted, doing stuff that's meaningful and transformative. but damn, was i wrong. got there and everything felt like a major letdown. the work is dull, the team barely talks to one another unless it's about something trivial like the damn coffee machine breaking down, and don't even get me started on the so-called "growth opportunities" – what a joke. And suddenly, all that confidence I had just plummeted. it's like when you save up all your money for the concert of your all-time favorite band, only for the lead singer to show up inebriated and mumbling half the lyrics. feels like i’ve been suckered into buying a timeshare in disappointment town.

let me tell you about the point when reality hit. we had this big project that i was amped about... finally, a chance to shine. but turns out, the whole thing was just smoke and mirrors. the higher-ups didn't even care about the quality. seemed like they were more into playing politics than actually getting any meaningful work done. my input? brushed off like i'm some peon who speaks gibberish. my self-esteem took a nosedive off a cliff. it's all learning experiences they said, but hell, learning what? learning to suffer in silence while others pretend to paddle the broken canoe? what they don’t put in the job description is that sometimes the job is less about what you do and more about how you fit into the dysfunctional puzzle. gives you some gnarly flashbacks, doesn’t it? someday they’ll write this crap into a tragic comedy and we can all have a good laugh. ever read kafka? feels like that but without the cool existential reflections and too many office memos.

but hey, i'm not gonna sit around here sounding like debbie downer. i'm trying to find that silver lining in all this. recently, i started focusing on the small stuff. like, okay, the job sucks, sure, but that doesn't mean every day is a wash. i’ve met one or two folks who are genuinely decent, which is a rarity. sometimes we grab a beer after work and share horror stories, it helps to blow off steam. the thing is, the truth hurts but it's also kind of liberating, right? i'm learning (slowly, mind you) that i ain’t defined by a lousy job or how the higher-ups see me. that's just a blip on this radar we call life. and man, if there's one thing i've picked up, it's to keep an open mind and not let disappointments tether you. life’s too short to be bogged down by unrealized ideals. chase something else, like finding a passion or a hobby. who knows, maybe i'll be the next youtube sensation cooking questionable recipes. i mean, what’s life without a little spontaneity and gamble? So how do you cope when the daily grind gets you down? just curious if there's any universal hack out there we're all missing. 🤔

so today is my 18th birthday and if u had told me at 13 i would have made it to my 18th birthday i would have laughed then cried in ur face.

im not coming on here for pity or attention i just wanted to say that im so proud of myself for making it this far. heres to many many more chapters in my life

it’s been a quiet kind of question growing louder in my head: am I transgender? I’m 25, biologically female, and for a long time, I didn’t really question that. I did what was expected — grew my hair long, wore dresses when the occasion called for it, and played the part of a girl just fine. but over time, small thoughts started piling up. I’d avoid mirrors some days, or feel oddly disconnected from my reflection. I don’t hate my body — it’s more like... indifference? like I’m occupying something that isn’t mine but also not foreign enough to fully reject. I hear people use “she” and it doesn’t sting, but it also doesn’t fit. when someone once referred to me as “they” by mistake, I felt seen in a way I didn’t even realize I craved. how weird is that?! is that enough to question everything?

I’ve been reading and listening to people’s stories — memoirs like Detransition, Baby and YouTube creators like Ty Turner and Jamie Raines — and honestly, their feelings mirror mine more than any cis woman I know. it’s not about hating femininity; it’s about not feeling entirely rooted in it. sometimes I think maybe I’m nonbinary, other days I wonder if I’d feel more like myself with a flat chest and a lower voice. it’s not dysphoria that screams — it’s more like a whisper that never shuts up. I’ve even tried visualizing a future where I transition, and surprisingly, it doesn’t feel scary or wrong. it feels calm. like breathing easier. but then I second guess myself — what if I’m just making this up? what if I’m confusing admiration with identity? ugh, does everyone go through this kind of mental gymnastics??

I haven’t talked to anyone in my real life about it yet. it feels too abstract, like I need more “proof” or clarity before bringing others in. but I know questioning is valid. I know that not being sure doesn’t make my thoughts any less real. a quote I read recently stuck with me: “You don’t have to have dysphoria to be trans. You just have to know who you are.” and I guess I’m in the middle of figuring that out. maybe this is a journey without a destination — just learning, adjusting, exploring. and for now, that feels okay 🙂 if you’ve gone through this too, how did you know? did it hit you all at once, or did it sneak up like it did for me??

Look I don’t or didn’t know what to put as the topic. However; day by day, hour by hour, year by year, month by month I’m less ok. If your anything like me it’s hard to tell someone or even talk to a trusted adult about what your going through. I may not know you but welcome to whatever this fuckin thing is… life is mysterious yet hurts because you never know what will happen. My parents want what’s best for me yet I don’t know what’s best for me, I don’t have a path. I don’t have a journey to follow, I’m going with the flow going day by day not knowing where I’ll end up or how I’ll feel by the end of the day. I mean fuck, I skipped work and got so drunk I just needed to feel something, I needed to feel like I could feel things again. Yet it didn’t matter it didn’t help, getting drunk or high won’t help.. sadly… I’m terrible with talking to people I’m awkward I’m socially awkward I’m anxious and scared and anything possible. I know I need to find what I’m good at but it’s like everyone around me isn’t rooting for me, but is pushing me to do things I can’t do or I don’t want to do. Don’t let that happen to you. Because you need to follow your heart, your head, and follow your own path not one someone forges for you, not one someone is forcing you to do. Follow whatever you want to do. Never feel pressured to do anything, take your time and soon enough you will end up ok. Maybe not today, or tomorrow or a week from now fuck maybe not even a year from now but we were all brought onto this earth to do smth we just need to find out what.

This is just a vent (tw mentions of sui**de)

I messed up last night. This whole week I've been going through a depressive episode and felt sui***al and I guess yesterday was my breaking point. I rushed to my room cause I wanted to be alone. My dad tried to talk to me and I started to cry so I turned my back cause I didn't want him to see my face, and he called me disrespectful. He told me to never cry cause its a sign of vulnerability and weakness but I can't help it. I rushed to the bathroom crying and locked the door cause I just wanted to be alone for a while, but he kept banging the door and yelling at me to get out. To sum it up, he tried to break the door down, and broke the glass near the door to enter, he yelled at me, I yelled back about how I've felt this way ofr 3 years and wanted to end my life (I just acted on my emotions without think and I regret it) I was called disrespectful, selfish and childish, and other kids have it worse than me (I already know that, which is why I feel even worse for feeling this way) my mom and sister tried to restrain me when I wanted to leave, leaving my arms sore (I literally just wanted to go to my room!!) What hurt the most is that I made them cry, even my dad had tear and I've never seen him shed a tear.

I'm not sui**dal right now and my emotions are in control, but I still feel alot like sh*t. My dad hasn't said a word to me and I'm to scared and ashamed to even look at him. My birthday is literally tomorrow and I've messed everything up. I hate it so much.

Hey everyone, my name's Mike. I don’t really know if this is the right place to ask, but I’m kinda desperate for answers. How long does it actually take to get over someone? I know, it probably sounds like I'm overthinking, but I honestly can't seem to shake it. I broke up with Sarah almost three months ago, and the feelings just won’t let up. Every time I try to focus on something else, she just pops back into my mind. I feel like I’m stuck in this loop where I can't move forward, but I also can't go back.

We were together for almost two years, and we had so many plans—vacations we wanted to take, moving in together, all that. It wasn't a perfect relationship (not by a long shot), but it felt real, you know? Even the little things, like grabbing coffee on Saturdays or having movie marathons on rainy days… they’re haunting me now. I’m not sure if it’s the routine or the actual person I miss.

It’s not like I haven’t tried to move on. I’ve been going out more with friends, hitting the gym, and even focusing more on work. But somehow, it feels like nothing quite fills the gap she left. I thought about dating again, but even just thinking about getting to know someone new feels exhausting. What if it takes forever to get over her? What if I’m just going to feel this way forever?

People say that time heals all wounds, but is there some kind of timeline I’m missing? Some people seem to move on in a month or two, and here I am, still struggling. It’s hard not to feel like there’s something wrong with me. Anyway, if anyone has been through something similar, how long did it take you to finally feel normal again? I just want to know that there’s some light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks for listening.