Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I've never felt like I'll ever accomplish anything. Growing up the only child meant learning to give up on whatever I truly wanted to do with my life. It's always about approval. Because if I'm the wrong thing, I'm all alone again. I've never been able to express myself properly because they have rules. I'm an adult and I still have my parents rules. No hair coloring, no tattoos, no piercings other than lobes, no anything you ever want to do for yourself because I am your mother. I can't even find my own identity in peace. I've been flip flopping between labels forever because right when I settle into one I think "Is that really me or is that just to appease her?". I have to be top of my class, straight As, I feel like I'm in a god damn musical with that song "Little Miss Perfect" because that's all my life has ever felt. I want to be more, I want to do things to help people, to help myself, but I'm stuck in this never ending loop of approval and the worst part is I know exactly what's happening and can't do anything about it. Because that would mean I'm all alone again and I always end up alone anyways. I always try too hard and fall back down like a baby bird. My mother always wonders why I never tell her anything, why I don't open up...well, when I do I get called dramatic or a brat. So why should I even try? When I was in a major depressive state in middle school and was harming myself she told me I was doing it for attention. I failed my first semester of college and tried to cover it up because I was scared of what she would do. How she would react to her perfect 4.0 GPA kid failing almost every single class. I was right to be scared. She never hurt me physically, of course. She's not stupid. She knows I would go to the police, I've told her this before. She just breaks me down bit by bit until I feel worthless. And I can't do anything about it. I have nobody to turn to, no siblings, nobody I can really ever trust to take my side. So here I am...venting on the internet.

I grew up in a very religious family and currently a teens rn.(forgive me if my English or grammar is wrong)

My family would always bring me and my brother to church every sabbath. Tbh I've never missed a sabbath. And they say that gay people are an abomination. And I read bl (boys love) and the reason I read it was probably just to run away from my own problems. I know it's really not a good thing to do but I can't stop reading it. it's becoming an obsession. I just feel really guilty for doing this but I really can't stop it's the only reason I can keep a smile. It was my source of happiness. It was always there for me. But i feel like im betraying my parents by doing this. I really feel guilty. I feel like I'll get disowned if I get discovered. But I just really don't know what to do. I really need to quit doing this. Please someone share some advice In which way i should go.

hey, so i'm sitting here going out of my mind with all these worries. i'm a mum with two boys, 13 and 15, and i can't stop thinking about what kind of world they're gonna be facing in the future. like, how the hell are they gonna find a job when AI is taking over everything? am i alone in this? i mean, everywhere i look, it's robots this, automation that, and it's got me wondering what kind of job market's gonna be left for my boys. maybe you've read articles or seen those doomsday predictions about robots turning us humans obsolete? it's not a peaceful thought. schools don't seem to prepare them for a future where creativity and humanity are the only things machines can't replicate. 🤔 and let's not even talk about the pressure these kids face, like, how can they compete with an algorithm that never sleeps, never gets tired? it just feels like a losing battle, and i don't know if i'm supposed to tell them to shovel coal or learn coding at this point.

plus, it's not just the job market, right? everything just feels like it's spiraling out of control. we're dealing with all this climate change craziness, and who knows what kind of world they'll inherit. i sometimes wonder if i should just be teaching them wilderness survival skills instead of algebra. it's hard not to feel like, what's the point? even my parents and their endless wisdom have no clue what's coming next—they're baffled by smartphones, so imagine trying to explain AI threats to them. 🤦‍♀️ you ever feel like you're in an episode of 'black mirror,' but there's no fast-forward button, just gotta wait it out? and the school systems? don't even get me started! schools are still teaching stuff that's been outdated since i was a kid. honestly, who needs cursive writing now? it's just like, come on, shouldn't we be focusing on skills that'll actually help them survive in the future?

man, it would be fantastic if i could just flip a switch and not worry. but seriously, how can you not worry about the future when every headline, every news article just screams apocalypse? i mean, even podcasts, which were my go-to escape, have turned into these doom and gloom fest about the tech-dystopia we're supposedly heading into. 😩 and social media? forget it, it's like living in a constant state of anxiety with everyone just adding more fuel to the fire. maybe i need to start dosing myself on some ignorance is bliss, but then again, can you really afford to be ignorant in a world that changes so damn fast? so if you're out here thinking it's just you—nah, mate, we're all riding this storm out together, just trying to figure out how not to lose our marbles in the process.

I'm kinda supposed to be practicing for Solo and Ensemble right now. But I can't. I just can't. I don't know why. I don't want to, or can't, do anything. I'm not that good at my solo, and the event is tomorrow, but I don't really care. I don't care if I go up there and get the lowest rating, a 0 out of 30. Honestly? I don't even want to be on this earth anymore.

I’m pathetic. I’m 26 and I’m so attached to my mum. She is the only person in the world who truely understands me and who I can talk to about anything. She didn’t ask to have a daughter who’s so broken that she can’t do anything independently. I’m such a burden on her. I wish I had someone else to talk to so she doesn’t have to be burdened by it all. It’s not fair on her. I know she loves me but it’s not her job to fix her broken full grown daughter. Honestly I wish I could keep it all inside so I don’t bother anyone but it’s too much. I’ve wasted my life being depressed and now I’m too far gone. I’m so alone. I’ve dug myself into a hole that I can’t get out of.

Hello everyone!

I'm gearing up for a wedding soon which will be attended mostly by my boyfriend’s circle of friends. My mom, having always been a stunner and a former model, offered to help me get ready for the big day.

Let me give you some background: my mom is absolutely breathtaking and has always been in fantastic shape. Both my brothers inherited her good looks, making them quite the dashing pair. Being the sole daughter, I guess there was an expectation for me to follow in her gorgeous footsteps.

Growing up, I steered clear of anything overtly girly and was squarely the tomboy type. Post-puberty, I put on weight, and though I wouldn't consider myself obese, I'm definitely on the plumper side – 78kg at 166cm. I don't obsess over skin care or makeup either; it's just not my thing.

Though I profoundly love my mom and I know the feeling is mutual, she hasn't always been the most supportive when it comes to comments about my appearance. Throughout my teenage years, her remarks about my weight and looks really did a number on my confidence. I can handle constructive feedback but not when there's an undercurrent of scorn or cruelty.

Things have gotten a bit better over the years. I confronted her once about how her words were affecting me, and she toned it down somewhat. However, she still slips up now and then, commenting on a pimple or mocking my hair, even suggesting quite bluntly how I might 'improve' my appearance. Sometimes it’s too much, even for me.

Cut to the current issue: my mom had a series of dresses for me to try for the wedding, and one of them was a gown she wore two years back at my graduation. It was a snug fit, to say the least. My mom and my aunt pushed and pulled to zip it up, but no luck - the zipper gave out. My mom couldn't help but exclaim, “Wow, you really are fat,” which set my aunt off on a teasing spree. I held back my feelings and stayed silent.

We sifted through more dresses and I finally picked one that was stretchy and fitted just right. Post the try-on session, my mom, in her typical fashion, asked if I had been skipping the gym and warned that I'd need to keep my stomach in during the wedding. That was the last straw for me. I decided I’d had enough and told her I would buy my own dress instead.

Now, mom feels I overreacted and I’m just wasting money on a whim. My siblings accuse me of being oversensitive about my weight, whereas my friends and boyfriend support my stance. Am I really being unreasonable here?

I wonder how this situation would unfold if it were on a reality TV show. Would the audience sympathize with me, or would they find humor in my family’s blunt commentary? Reality shows thrive on drama, after all. Could it be possible that viewers might side with me in seeking respect and emotional support from a family that puts appearance above feelings?

I'm feeling undermined by my family's comments about my weight. Am I overreacting?

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I have already posted a story about the bad habit that has chained me for a long time (pornography), I mentioned that I had a month and two weeks where I was able to resist, and it made me feel really bad to relapse but even so I seem to not improve. But well, how did I manage to make it a month? It all happened because one night I said the classic “This is the last day.” In the morning I looked for a sermon that fit what I was feeling and I found it, it motivated me to try. I tried to get closer to God, reading and singing hymns, now that I think about it I didn’t pray too much. But I thought I had been able to leave it behind, but the thoughts caught up with me. I didn’t feel better, I felt like the same loser as always. Now that I’m writing this I think I could have gotten more out of my intention to get closer to God, but I did it so I could leave that harmful habit behind, because I feel like it has damaged several aspects of my life. I know all the blame is mine, but come on, I feel like God has not helped me... I have never felt like He has put a plan in my life, I am going so unnoticed by Him. Now it is hard for me to try again, I can’t find a direction or a way for something to make me feel better. In general I don’t understand, if I grew up in a religious family why didn’t God have anything for me? Why did He allow me to fall into this? At one point in my life I wanted to stop believing, at others I have believed with faith, but it was always the same. So whether I could leave the habit behind or not, I don’t feel like He has something for me in life, it might sound extreme but my youth is passing before my eyes and even though God sees me He seems to leave me in the waiting room. Maybe it’s stupid, instead of complaining I should go out and try things, but what happened to the child version of me asking God for something to happen and it never happened, maybe today I would have more confidence, I don’t know.

I don’t think it is important to clarify exactly what religion I am, your advice or comment sharing your thoughts would help me a lot and I would really appreciate it. Have a nice day.

i’m a high school senior and i’m dating a guy younger than me. he’s had one other girlfriend and people have told me they hooked up but we’ve never talked about it. ive had other boyfriends but i never had sex with them, though i have been assaulted outside of a relationship. i alluded to this when he asked if i was a virgin - prior to this event happening. we were talking for around two months and basically dating already when he was over at my house for the second time. we were watching a movie and making out, it was going fine. we had kissed before but not much more than that. he whispered in my ear “would it be so bad?” and i didn’t know what to say. i asked him what he meant but i knew, i told him it was too soon and gave the excuse that he’s too young (im a year and a half older). he told me no one would know and said he was consenting, but i just told him i didn’t know if it was a good idea. his hands made it into my pants and i asked if he was a virgin but then he paused and made an odd face before shaking his head. i went back to watching the movie but he asked a few more times. i just went silent because i didn’t know what to do. i kissed him and turned back around, the first time he came to my house he did the same thing to the point i took him home because i was upset. when he asked if the kiss meant a yes i didn’t say anything but then he pulled my pants down. i didn’t say anything because i just froze up and my heart was racing and i was scared but idk. he put it in and asked if it hurt and i didn’t respond even though it did. at one point i must have been so freaked out that he got scared too and pulled out, i think i was reliving something but this was a while ago. i felt a lot of emotions but i couldn’t or wouldn’t i guess say anything. i forgot what happened but he went to the bathroom and came back and i felt very conflicted. he noticed something was up and kept asking me what was wrong until i hugged him because i didn’t know what was wrong. i drove him home but after dropping him off i cried all the way home and sat in my driveway. i thought a lot about it for the next few days and i felt extremely conflicted, i cant even put a name to the emotions i was feeling. i told my best friend a week later thinking it would be fun gossip or something but i also felt like i needed to tell someone and she was disgusted. i started crying and she told me that it wasn’t okay but i wasn’t mad at him. he’s been through a lot so i feel very bad for him sometimes and he’s younger so he doesn’t know a lot and i couldn’t bring myself to agree with her about him assaulting me. the next few times he was over he kept asking and i said no, i texted him about a month later explaining how i was assaulted and i didn’t like that he was pressuring me when i already said no. he apologized a lot and it hasn’t happened since. we’ve been officially dating a couple months now and we’ve hooked up more, but i kind of feel like it hasn’t happened again because i haven’t said no again. i’ve talked to a few more of my friends about it and they all look sad and tell me it’s not okay. i just love him a lot and he’s very very sweet to me so it just doesn’t feel like assault. i don’t feel any kind of way about it right now but a while ago my best friend brought it up again and i had a meltdown so maybe im just blocking it out. she hates him and refuses to be around him over this. i haven’t considered breaking up with him over it and i haven’t voiced any of this to him, i just wanted to see what people thought.

It's more of a religious conflict within myself.

I grew up Jewish... But not Jewish. My adopted family is Jewish. But I never felt Jewish. My mom was Jewish, but we only celebrated... Loosely, Hanukkah until I turned 12. Then I asked to stop cause buying and receiving gifts was too forking stressful! Also, birthdays and any gift-giving days stopped, but that's another topic for another day.

Anyway, I like to think I'm interested in all religions and no religions at the same time. It's hard to put my finger on it. I live with my cousins now, after my mom's passing. They're more Jewish than any Jewish people I lived near in my old life/old neighborhood.

I didn't know any holidays except for Hanukkah... And honestly... I still only know Hanukkah, cause there's many Jewish holidays that confuse me. All I remember is that Jewish Challah bread is so forking tasty! Cinnamon and honey challah bread is SO FORKING YUMMY🤤! And I usually HATE cinnamon... But in challah bread... Give me all of it😋!! I also like the apples and honey holiday... Cause there's apples and honey🍎🍯! I don't really like Jewish pastries... No offense to any Jewish people... Jam ain't my thing🫠.

Also, my cousin says that one of the differences between Judaism and Christianity is that Jewish people cannot be forgiven from sinning by only God. If a Jewish person sins to God, they are forgiven, cause God is understanding. But if a Jewish person sins against another fellow human, God only forgives if the person you sinned to has forgiven you. And therefore, there is no way out of saying, "I have sinned, I have shared my sin with God, he shall forgive me" even if the original sin was cause by the sinner who has done wrong by his fellow man/woman/person.

But based on Christianity, I like the easiness that it feels to feel somewhat absolved of sins based on the fact that one shares their sins with God and they themselves feel sorry. But I still like the fact that there's more restrictions on Judaism, cause it puts more responsibility on humans rather than having God shoulder everything... God's got a lot on his hypothetical shoulders man!

Also, is God in the form of a man still? Or is God an entity? Energy? Or simply a safe feeling? That guy feeling saying... Don't go into that "haunted house" or don't drink spoiled milk, even if you think it smells fine.

Some people maybe believe in multiple Gods. I also like to believe in such things, as well as the singl God that most people believe in. It also makes sense to think that God's can be it's own entity, like the clean stream, or a mighty tree that's stood for centuries! It's interesting who one would worship something that isn't forever, but super long lasting.

I also like some of the ideas of Buddhism. How there are a few Gods that make people feel safer. I personally feel the best when thinking of setting up an alter. I haven't set up one yet, cause I'm waiting to move outta the rental home. But again... I really like the 3 main Gods... And I like the God's that represent Protection, Peace, and Health. I understand that some might not understand, and that's okay... Heck... I'm just learning about Buddhism only last month! But it's fascinating!

Who says mixing different religions is wrong? I'd totally love to put different items around my home for different religions. And no disrespect... It's because I respect and admire these religions that makes me wanna partake.

I also really like the idea of believing and worshiping ancestors... Cause they've done a sh*t-ton of stuff for us to be where we are now... Why not respect them with an alter or at least a nice photograph to show respect?

I've also dabbled in spirituality. As sage, candles, and crystals also seem to make me feel a little better. Maybe not physically, but on a somewhat psychological level. The idea of safety that such actions bring. With words like "cleansing" and "positive energy". All those things factor into why I like stuff like that too.

I even enjoyed learning, but not partaking in Hispanic deities. They're fascinating! There was one... Or maybe two... I can't remember... That favored non-violent peace vs peace brought by violence. Of course they weren't as popular as the more stereotypical tough God's... But I still respect all those God's... Though personally... Human and animal sacrifices was a bit much for my liking... But hey, if it made them feel like they were safe... Who am ai to judge... Even though I personally don't condone violence.

I also liked learning about the Greek Gods and thought it would be nice to make an alter for one or two of the God's... Of course once I do more research to make sure the God's I choose got along with each other... Cause who'd wanna be worshipped with your arch nemesis😬!? I personally like Eros, since he didn't cheat or at least was able to keep it in his pants more than certain God's😑. And Psyche is also a very interesting God! Originally a human... Woo-hoo! Love wins all!! Woo-hoo! The crowd cheers!! Standing ovation for her ascent to Goddess-hood!

I don't know much about the Roman Gods, as they're very similar to the Greek Gods. And saying both Greek and Roman Gods together just confuses my sludge brain!

Also, black cats are actually good luck... According to Pagan beliefs, as well as science! Science has shown that Black cats have a better resilience in terms of survival. Unlike white cats, who usually have a bunch of medical issues. Both black and white cats are equally beautiful though. If I had the time, energy, and money, I'd get a black female cat named Yin, and a White male cat named Yang... Get it... Yin-Yang☯️!?

Anyway, overall, I think I'm in general a little confused... But very fascinated by everything.

The only thing is Cults that scare the shart outta me! But that's for another topic, and another day!

I never thought I’d be the kind of woman to struggle with something like this. I’ve always considered myself secure, independent, and mature enough to understand that everyone has a past. But here I am, years after a relationship ended, still haunted by retroactive jealousy... and I hate it.

It started small, just passing thoughts about my ex’s previous relationships. At first, it was just curiosity. Who was he with before me? What were they like? Did he love them the way he loved me? I thought it was harmless, just me trying to piece togeter the person he was before we met. But over time, those thoughts became something else. They became obsessive, intrusive, and worst of all: uncontrollable.

I would find myself scrolling through old Facebook posts, desperately looking for traces of his past. If I saw a name pop up too often in his old pictures, I’d spiral. Was she the one who broke his heart? Did he love her more than me? Was I just another chapter in his story, or was I something more? It didn’t matter how much he reassured me when we were together. The thoughts never truly left.

Even though we’ve been apart for years now, I still catch myself tinking about it. It makes no sense. I’m not even in love with him anymore, so why do I care? Why does the idea of him loving someone before me still sting? I know how ridiculous it sounds, and yet, here I am, letting a past that isn’t even mine eat away at my peace.

It’s not like our relationship ended because of some great betrayal. We simply weren’t right for each other. He was a good man, but we wanted different things, and eventually, we drifted apart. That should be the end of it, right? So why am I still fighting these ghosts?

I’ve read about retroactive jealousy, and apparently, it’s more common than people admit. It’s not about being possessive, at least not in the traditional sense. It’s about insecurity, about feeling like you’ll never measure up to some imaginary standard set by the past. It’s about comparing yourself to people who no longer matter, but feeling like their existence somehow diminishes your own.

I try to remind myself that we’re all just a collection of past experiences, that who he was before me had nothing to do with who he was with me. But some days, logic isn’t enough. Some days, I still feel like I was just one more name on a list, another relationship he filed away under “good but not great.”

If this was a reality show, I wonder what people would say about me. Would they pity me? Roll their eyes and tell me to move on already? Or would they understand how hard it is to fight a battle that exists entirely in your own head?

I don’t have all the answers, but I know one thing—I don’t want to be held hostage by someone else’s past anymore. Maybe acknowledging this is the first step to letting it go. Maybe one day, retroactive jealousy will just be another thing I used to struggle with. I hope that day comes soon.

Anyone to guide me here???

I never thought I’d be in this position. You raise your kids, you give them everything you’ve got—your time, your money, your love—and you think one day it’ll all make sense. That maybe they’ll appreciate it, or at the very least, respect you as they get older. But now, at 56 years old, I find myself constantly walking on eggshells around my own children, who are in their 20s and early 30s. They speak to me in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of speaking to my parents. The tone, the eye-rolls, the sarcasm—it stings more than I care to admit. I try to talk to them like adults, to find common ground, but everything turns into an argument or gets brushed off like I’m some outdated relic who doesn’t get it. They treat me like I’m clueless, like my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t expect them to agree with me on everything, of course, but there’s a basic level of decency I thought we’d built—and lately, I just don’t feel it.

It’s hard, because I still see the little kids in them. I remember teaching them how to ride a bike, watching movies together, helping with homework. I didn’t always get it right, I’ll admit that. I made mistakes, like any parent. I worked a lot, I was strict at times, I didn’t always know how to express emotions the way they wanted. But everything I did, I did out of love and a desire to see them succeed. And now that they’re grown, it’s like the script has flipped completely. They criticize the way they were raised, throw words like “toxic” and “trauma” around like darts. And it hurts. It hurts more than I can put into words. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt. I don’t get asked how I’m doing. I just get blamed for everything that went wrong, while all the good I tried to do gets forgotten. And the worst part is, I start to question myself. Was I really that bad of a father? Or are they just seeing me through a lens I’ll never be able to clean?

I’ve been trying to find ways to reconnect, to rebuild that mutual respect. But I’ll be honest, I don’t always know where to start. I’ve read the books, tried to open up more, asked for their thoughts even when it’s hard to hear. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it just makes things worse. I try not to react when they get rude, but I’m still human. It’s difficult not to take it personal when your own child rolls their eyes at you or talks to you like you’re stupid. I want to be close to them, but not at the cost of being constantly disrespected. So if you’re asking how to deal with disrespectful adult children, I guess the best I can say is: stay patient, keep the door open, but don’t let yourself be walked on. Set boundaries, as hard as that is when you love them so much. And maybe one day they’ll understand that you weren’t trying to control them—you were just trying your best to love them in the only way you knew how.

Ever wonder if anyone, and who would come looking, if you disappeared? I think no one would come looking for me.

My life is really hard I haven't been eating well,I lost lot of money in stock and bitcoin future not interested debt but financial stress.

I haven't been studying well as I'm a student.

My love life is fucked up. My boyfriend is not saying clearly if he love me because he sayels yes but he is in grindr telling around to people that he lost connection with me, I got to know when I asked him through a fake account.

I'm on the brink of suicide to be honest

Idk what to do.

My husband and I are parents to a wonderful 12-year-old daughter who has recently become the target of intense bullying at her school. The issue escalated quickly from mere name-calling to more aggressive harassment. A bit of background; our daughter was adopted, something we've always openly cherished as part of her unique story. Unfortunately, once this detail became known at school, the bullying intensified with classmates making cruel remarks about her birth mother not wanting her, despite the fact that her birth mother made a huge sacrifice due to her immense love for her.

The situation recently took a disturbing turn when our daughter returned home devastated, with two inches crudely chopped off her ponytail. This happened in class as her peers mocked and ridiculed her, compounding her humiliation and distress. The ongoing torment follows her through the halls daily.

My husband and I have reached out to the school relentlessly, through emails, phone calls, and direct visits to discuss the matter with teachers and the principal. Each interaction ended with vague assurances of "looking into the matter," but no real action followed. Seeing the toll it's taking on her—her anxiety, disrupted sleep, and pleas to avoid school altogether—we felt compelled to consider legal measures against the school and the bully's family in search of some resolution.

It was only when the threat of legal involvement was clear that the school and the bully's parents began to show a semblance of concern. The school has since moved the bully to a different class and the parents insisted they'd address their child's behavior. But can they be trusted? To me, these feel like temporary solutions, mere gestures to defuse the legal threat rather than a genuine commitment to resolving the issue.

Given the circumstances, most of my family believes I should pause the legal proceedings now that the school seems to be responding. Yet, I can't shake off the feeling that these actions are superficial, primarily aimed at avoiding litigation rather than safeguarding my daughter.

Imagine if our story were featured in a reality show, the intensity of the public's reaction could potentially sway the school into taking more permanent and effective measures. Would the dramatization and spotlight pressure the school administration and the bully’s parents into genuinely addressing the bullying issue or would it just make them more defensive?

So, am I wrong for continuing with legal action even though the school and the bully's parents now claim they’re addressing the issue?

i checked my email today and noticed that MadeWithGSAP was released last wednesday. i got so excited because i’ve waited 2–3 months for this and wanted to learn more about GSAP’s capabilities (and hopefully i get to learn something in the long run). so, i checked the website out to see if it’s there.

but…that’s when i realized that it’s paid. it’s PAID. €85 for 50 GSAP effects? that’s like ₱5,153.55 here. bruh, that’s 1 1/2 months worth of groceries with that money. i can’t buy it because i’m a first-year college student, and i don’t even have a job yet.

man, that realization really hits me. it made me think about years ago when i’ve vented so much about why almost everything on the internet is expensive here in the philippines. why does life treat me like this?? man, i’ve waited for months and felt a bit of excitement, but all this wait for nothing? what am i going to do with all this? i don’t even know how to recreate those effects just from the previews they have on their website. i just can’t…do this.