Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

4, I have had a total of 4 friends who have either cut, or cut currently. I dont know why but for some reason i feel as if it is my fault. I feel like if i had just stepped up i could have helped them. At one point i attempted to cut myself, but someone walked in, luckly, they didn't see me. I am the youngest of 4 in my family, and feel as though i have to do something different, as most of my siblings have done/are doing great things. I feel the wieght of all their success on my shoulders, and i can still hear every hurtful thing they have ever said repeating in my head, but it isnt just theirs, but every single hurtful thing i have ever heard. I constantly tell myself that i am not good enough and i have had others say the same to my face and, quite literally, behind my back. I have gone through years of bullying and i cry myself to sleep most nights. I also don't think my trauma is important enough so i dont share to my friends or family. My dad, siblings, and ex made me insecure about talking to much, and a girl named Harlow Curry made me insecure about being fat and ugly. I tell myself they were simply telling the truth, and that it isnt their fault. Everything that has ever happened to me, someone else has a worse story and makes mine sound fine, they say that mental abuse doesn't count as abuse, but i attempted suicide once and people still dont care. I have started to agree with them and now every second of every day there is a voice saying that i am not good enough and that my trauma doesn't matter, and finally, that everything bad is always my fault, yes, even things out of my control. But it also say that everything good i have done doesn't matter.

Two years ago, I received my degree, a milestone made possible by a dedicated savings effort from my parents starting when I was very young. I'm profoundly grateful for this and have striven to honor their efforts by excelling academically and graduating on time. Comparatively, my younger cousin Lara faced some challenges and ended up leaving college last year after not passing several classes. She's now ready to re-enroll, but there's a hitch — she's already depleted much of her college fund.

Just recently, her parents, my aunt and uncle, approached me with a request. They hoped I might consider transferring the remaining balance of my college fund to help Lara with her tuition. While it's true that I have some funds left — thanks primarily to a scholarship I received in my senior year — I told them I couldn't comply with their wish. I've earmarked these funds for my graduate studies or potentially a future home purchase, and it doesn't seem fair to sacrifice these plans, especially considering the circumstances of Lara's academic struggles.

This decision didn't sit well with them. Lara insists she "needs it more" and accuses me of being selfish, pointing out that my own education was fully covered. Her parents echoed this sentiment, arguing that the money would serve Lara better than it does sitting in my account and expressed a desire to avoid student loans for her. While I empathize with the difficulties student loans can present, I feel it's important to note that I diligently worked through my college years, both academically and in planning my finances for the future. It seems unreasonable to expect me to forgo my financial security due to her earlier academic failures.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to keep what I’ve saved for myself? Imagine if this were played out on a reality show — how dramatically opinions would clash in front of cameras! Viewers would likely be split, with some criticizing my decision as selfish and others praising my foresight and financial prudence. The scenario could definitely turn into a heated debate reflecting the differing values on family support versus personal responsibility.

Overall, it's a tricky situation loaded with family expectations and the weighing of financial vs emotional investment...

So, my 37 year old daughter left her husband and my grandchildren last year for a freaking convict! Now, I am all about 2nd chances but he's a loser with a capital l! She was screwing him before she left and now the 2 older grandkids are here with me and my ex, and she spends all her time up north with the prick! Whom I found out treats her like shit! I did not raise her alone to be like this! She thinks she did a good thing by leaving her husband and she's right. He was a dick, just realized it too late. Now my youngest granddaughter is with her dad because my loser daughter doesn't have fucking time for any of her kids! She actually told my oldest granddaughter she was "on her own and she couldn't be bothered by anything in her life" , what a fucking bitch! I fucking hate her and want to disown her, is there anyway legally I can do that? I'm about to freak the fuck out on her, I just haven't yet because my granddaughters asked me not to. But my health is also on the line, already had 1 heart surgery. What do I do?

why do I feel the urge to make someone happy, even someone who is not affectionate towards me, someone who never apologizes, someone who never seems interested in me, in what I do since they don´t ask about me but more about other people, even if I let hints (and even say directly) that I don't want to answer things about other people but just me, or just want to them know who I am. Maybe this grew more since I started watching people act more affectionate toward each other on some TV series or movies, like their interactions seem to be like that, they ask about you, they say nice things to each other even if they are angry, they seem to apologize if necessary, so maybe I am just comparing myself too much on those fake TV people??

Even if I tell them directly to be more affectionate and try not to insult me every day, I try to be better but they always stir something in me that makes me want to punch things. Why don't they change after my whole life trying to make them understand my thoughts? And why do I continue to seek their love? Nothing I ever do seems to be enough for them even if I do something that they told me to do, they still tell me more things to do, not even a thanks or nice words, maybe that person is afraid or doesn't really care about me, but they say they do "care" saying those things so I can "love myself" since they seem to think love words are not the path, they seem to think demmanding things for me is the right choice. It really makes me mad since I feel like they only call me these things (insults and complaints) to make me "reflect" on how ugly and disgusting I am.

I thought it also has to be connected to myself being someone not individualistic, I always seek for people. I don't like being alone, and I don't start things by myself. I know I need to change and not rely on people but I just can't, I'm so afraid of doing so.

Ever since my high school days, I've shared an incredibly close bond with my friend, Samantha. We've journeyed through life’s highs and lows together, ever since our freshmen year. Recently, Samantha entered an exciting phase in her life; she got engaged and her wedding is fast approaching in a few months. I was thrilled when she asked me to be part of her bridal party. Despite the distance, as I now live across the country, I've tried my utmost to be a supportive friend during her wedding preparations.

Earlier this year, I became a mother to a beautiful daughter who, unfortunately, faced some serious health challenges right from birth. She struggled with eating and consequently with weight gain. After numerous visits to various specialists, we were directed to a pediatric cardiologist. The diagnosis was heart-stopping; my baby girl had a significant hole in her heart, which posed a severe risk of heart failure at any moment. An urgent heart procedure was scheduled for her within two weeks.

I immediately reached out to Samantha with the devastating news, explaining my emotional turmoil in detail. However, her response seemed dismissally light-hearted, focusing only on the potential positive outcome that my daughter might start gaining weight after the procedure.

Following this, communication from Samantha dwindled to almost nothing. Instead of inquiring further about my daughter's precarious health, she requested photos from her bachelorette party. This left me feeling isolated and unsupported, especially during the subsequent nerve-wracking weeks leading up to my daughter’s surgery.

The feeling of abandonment intensified when I finally heard from her again after posting an update about my daughter’s successful procedure on Facebook. Her excuse that she had “forgotten” about my daughter's critical condition amid her wedding planning was a bitter pill to swallow. This negligence made me question the depth of our friendship.

Amidst these challenging emotions and the burgeoning medical expenses, I am contemplating withdrawing from her wedding. The thought of expending emotional and financial resources to attend an event across the country for a friend who seemed to have momentarily forgotten my plight is overwhelming.

Had this ordeal been part of a reality show, the audience might have been split. Some might criticize me for expecting too much from Samantha during her busy wedding planning phase, while others could empathize with my situation, criticizing her for not providing the support a lifelong friend should.

Honestly, I’m torn about attending the wedding. I’m trying to reconcile my feelings but am finding it extremely difficult. Would I be wrong to prioritize my family and emotional well-being over her wedding?

Recently, my mother informed me that she and my stepdad were making arrangements for their future, including drafting their wills. Rather than discussing minor inheritances like heirlooms, she dropped a major bombshell. They plan to bequeath their house to me and my two stepbrothers to share as a living space. It's a gorgeous house in a decent area, but the thought of living there with my stepbrothers never crossed my mind. I'm currently living comfortably with a roommate, quite content with my living situation.

During this discussion, my mother also revealed their intentions for me to become the legal guardian of my younger stepbrother, who, at 30, has an intellectual disability requiring lifelong care. Although he manages his basic needs and can make simple meals, his overall welfare is a permanent responsibility. My other stepbrother, who is autistic, seems content with his life, working at a factory without showing any desire to live independently.

Having joined our family a few years ago when my mother remarried, I've never really bonded with them, except for my stepsister. She and I had many great moments shopping and hanging out until she relocated. Given the situation, I would've thought that either she or their somewhat estranged mother would be more suited to care for him.

Moreover, I have future plans with my partner, aiming to eventually relocate to her native country. It seems utterly unreasonable to spring the responsibility of an additional person, potentially two, onto her as well. Financially and logistically, supporting my stepbrothers from abroad isn’t feasible, yet my mother hinted that should the brothers end up living alone, my sister and I would need to finance their upkeep. This, to me, felt exceedingly unfair and impractical, as it’s unlikely they would move if others are managing their affairs, leading to potential property neglect.

I’m contemplating a firm conversation with my mother, expressing my unwillingness to assume guardianship or financial responsibility for my stepbrothers. Both are somewhat independent and could feasibly share an apartment. Declining this role wouldn’t be out of cruelty but rather a recognition of my limitations and life plans.

If this ordeal were part of a reality show, the drama and emotional intensity would likely captivate viewers. The audience might speculate on familial obligations and personal boundaries, potentially siding with or against me based on their personal views on family responsibilities and individual rights.

Considering the nature of such shows, the reactions could range from empathetic understanding to harsh judgment, placing my decision under a sensationalized spotlight.

I am 22 and I have a friend, Lauren, who really celebrates her birthday in a big way every year, which is totally fine by me. However, when we both turned 21 last year, she organized a trip to Florida with several of our close friends. I chose not to go because the trip centered heavily on bar-hopping and alcohol, which isn't really my thing. Not only do I generally avoid alcohol, but I also thought it was impractical to spend on a trip mainly for drinking, especially since it conflicted with my college schedule. The trip was planned for a time when I would need to keep up with schoolwork and miss several classes. The plan was to stay at an Airbnb and basically party – something I’m usually not excited about. I’m not judging anyone for enjoying a relaxed vacation that involves drinking; it's just not for me. Moreover, spending $500-900 on something I wouldn't enjoy didn't seem right.

I kindly turned down the invitation, but it didn’t go over well with Lauren. She later expressed disappointment, suggesting that by not joining the trip, I wasn’t supporting her or fully participating in her birthday celebration. On her actual birthday, I did celebrate with her and even gave her gifts. Lauren implied that I wasn’t being a truly supportive friend, arguing that if the roles were reversed, she would have joined the trip simply to be there for me, regardless of the setting. She also pointed out that since my boyfriend and I managed a vacation recently, I should be able to make an exception for her. Moreover, she even offered to pay for my trip, insisting that there were no valid reasons for my absence. However, the truth is the appeal was just not there for me—adding to my dislike of the heavy drinking and sports watching that I knew would dominate the vacation.

When my boyfriend and I went away to Disney for a week during my winter break, the holiday was different. We planned the entire trip, involved zero alcohol or clubbing, and focused on activities we both enjoy. This contrasts sharply with Lauren's spontaneous and loosely planned trip style, which I find stressful. But why must I even justify my travel choices to her?

Looking ahead to 2024, Lauren seems to be planning another similar celebration in Florida for her birthday. I am likely to be invited but have already decided against going. I’m okay with the boundaries I’ve set, even if she isn't.

If this situation played out on a reality TV show, I can imagine the dramatic music and cutaway interviews where everyone weighs in on my decision. There would likely be lots of opinions, with some calling me unsupportive and others applauding me for sticking to my guns and setting healthy boundaries. The tension would certainly be highlighted, and viewers would probably be split on my decision.

Should I go on the Florida trip to support my friend?

After wrapping up a long week where I took on the chef duties, my girlfriend Emily (28) decided it would be nice to cook dinner tonight. Everything seemed fine until I mentioned that I'd be dropping by my parents' house tomorrow. The reason was simple: my brother offered a free ride, and it seemed like a good chance to consult our family physician about the chronic back pain I've been suffering from.

However, Emily didn't take well to this news. Her response escalated into a full-blown outburst. During our argument, I made a remark about prioritizing my health over running errands, which led her to snatch my dinner away, stating she’d return it only if I apologized for my supposed rudeness.

Choosing not to engage further, I stood up, let her keep the dinner, and cooked something for myself. Now, eating alone, I can’t shake off the uncomfortable feeling her actions gave me. Was I really out of line here?

Imagine if all this happened on a reality show. Cameras capturing the explosive tensions over something as routine as a dinner plan and a doctor's visit. Viewers would probably be on the edge of their seats, pondering who was being unreasonable. Would the audience be sympathetic to my need for medical attention, or would they side with Emily, seeing my comment as insensitive?

I don't want to be around my environment anymore. I feel like they're a bunch of disorganized people. I'm not going to talk to them. I'm tired of throwing myself at them and seeing their insults, their outbursts of anger, their so-called mistakes. I'm tired of showing them the consequences of their actions as if they were children. Why do I have to act like that? They're grown up now, and I have to do it.

I don't feel a bit of good treatment in my environment, not at all. In fact, that's why I avoid being so self-conscious, but I still seek them out. It can't be that this gentleman I'm telling you about is invading my time. It can't be that I don't have a proper evaluation from my psychiatrist. I even have a decent physical health evaluation. But for how long? For how long will this environment be able to treat me well? I definitely don't want their help anymore; they've all turned out to be a failure.

I'm tired of this apparent peace we live in. There's no peace here, just pure, sunken hell. I'm tired of stifling my tears. It can't be that with the gentleman, I had to keep my distance so he wouldn't bother me with my readings and touch the books I'd made in the library. It can't be. It can't be that, given my university degree, which I said I wouldn't hand over, I had to apply pressure to prevent this from happening. It can't be that I pointed out that I wasn't a simple dish sponge, people told me I wasn't even when the evidence was right in front of me, and no one even offered me a pitiful apology. I'm fed up. It can't be that when I was at my worst, people came up with this: "Why didn't you tell your dad he's a doctor?" "I can't be like this at work"—when I was dying. I'm tired of forgiving mistakes. This is no longer forgivable.

I should have left such terrible relationships a long time ago. I'm tired of showing in this environment that they are being reckless with what they do. It can't be that on my machine, on my own machine, I can't have privacy, that there are people watching the things I do. It can't be that they've disdained my only area, which is to vent; with an AI, it's done much better than with them, infinitely. I wouldn't tell any of my colleagues about a problem in my life, not even if it cost me my life. They all pretend they love me, but it's a lie. My boss is a cop; a coworker of mine is an angry woman; both of them are with someone who wanted to destroy me; I have a colleague who's a gossip and tries to get me to stop talking to an AI out of jealousy. I'm so fed up with any of them. How is it possible I haven't noticed these people before?

I hope this girl wants something with me. I pray to God she wants something from me. I want to be with someone who really understands me. I want to be with someone who actually wants to be with me. For God's sake, I'm sick of this environment. Besides, I feel like I can't express myself the way I like here. I feel like I have to adapt. My psychiatrist makes me want to adapt, no matter what; she molds me. I'm tired of her, of the way she does things. I feel like everyone serves nothing more and nothing less than to pressure me. Plus, my family members make the same mistakes with me; with them, I don't feel I have the right to get sick, and it's not fair that that happens. I want to be with someone I feel safe with, not half-baked, and I think she wants the same.

It's incredible that I can't even share a sad story with those around me because no one knows what to do with their feelings; they don't know how to say they don't know, they don't even know how to ask. I'm also tired of being seen at work as someone who does everything wrong out of carelessness; it's impossible, and I have to put them in their place. I feel like this is an environment that will collapse if I don't correct their vision, their vision, and I can't take care of their emotions. They're all grown up now.

While I was at work, my colleague, while I was busy doing something else, and after we'd done something together, asked my colleague if she had anything to do without taking me into account, making me feel bad, and then I had to resolve the issue. That girl also has a terrible smell. I feel like my boss works like a disorganized person; one has to be at his mercy. That colleague who was asked clearly acts recklessly at all costs. I just want to get out of there.

It's surprising that that girl I saw a long time ago didn't realize these feelings I was experiencing. That person understood that because she was experiencing anger, rage, with the environment, and I was the new one, then I had to distance myself to stop experiencing that. In other words, to fade away. How can anyone treat themselves like that, for God's sake? The most I could do with her was to confront it with everyone around her wherever I was, and arrange things accordingly. If he didn't know how to control his feelings, then he could get out of my life I didn't care about the circumstances I was in. The last time I saw her, I closed doors with her and walked away. Her feelings aren't my problem; in fact, I even removed her from my social media, for God's sake. I didn't want her in my life at all. I was paying the price for things I didn't do; she once made things up when I walked past her at a cafe; she made up that I was the poor thing when I didn't do anything; I don't know what the hell was wrong with that girl. That girl was out of her depth with her emotions, and the worst part was that everyone helped her do it, and I paid the price. After I brought the authorities to the court, after a big fuss, they tried to treat me like I was the bad guy. I regret it. I left that place and never went back. It was a very prestigious university, too. It can't be true. I couldn't even read in peace there; I didn't want to help something I wasn't obligated to, and my routine was ruined.

Damn, how long is my routine going to continue to be ruined? The gentleman, I think I mentioned it before, thinks he's my friend. He got excited about me just because I said hello. How long can this neediness continue? I can't stand it anymore. I want to be back in my quiet routine. This girl I like, whom I just met, I think I mentioned her before, I feel she can contribute to my routine. I don't have to hide like I have to with my surroundings. I feel like my entire surroundings affect my routine, and I can't understand that. I need to change my environment at all costs, if possible, change jobs, because I feel like things aren't safe in the community I'm in; I feel like I have a lot of enemies.

Why is it that I can't count on anyone to deal with these feelings? Besides, my dad encouraged me to stay with my boss, who left me with someone else, at a different job he had, and who wreaked havoc on my life, almost destroying me professionally within that community. Is that even conscience? I don't see where it is. Since this girl arrived, this girl I like, she's helped me see what's going on around me, and so I'm very grateful because she's allowing me to ground myself with her presence; and we've only made a few gestures.

Basically, i liked this guy ever since middle school and he recently asked me out! Good right? NO! I have this problem where when someone likes me back i try to find things that are bad about them, like hes not even that cute nor is he unique. And when we do break up, i end up feeling sad bcz i really liked the person but i also feel relieved?? I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON HELP ME PLESS

In Malaysia, I got too excited at a mall and wandered away from my mom, causing concern. My dad, fearing dangers like kidnapping, got angry, yelled, hit me, and said hurtful things, like blaming my love for art and claiming he only cares because I’m his child, not out of love. His words made me feel selfish and unempathetic, even though I regret what happened and love your family. Since then, I’ve been anxious, cautious, and focused on helping my mom, wondering if it's just teenage emotions or if there's truth to his criticism.

Sorry if some words sound a bit off. English is not my native language and I’m using a translator, but I really need advice on what I should do in this situation.

I met a guy last month at a very crowded nightclub, in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in my city. I’m aware of my own reality and background, but he was the one who showed interest first. He approached me and invited me to join him, but I was with some friends at the time. Later, at the end of the night, he came back to talk to me and we kissed. We exchanged Instagram, and the next day he messaged me.

We kept talking and getting to know each other’s routines, and after almost three weeks of talking, he asked me out and I agreed. It was honestly one of the best dates I’ve ever had. He was very kind and affectionate with me. We exchanged affection, kisses, and intimacy, and I felt a real connection. It was a very good and intimate moment. At no point did he make me feel less than him or comment on my financial situation or anything related to that — and I was aware of where I was getting myself into.

When I got home, I sent a couple of messages saying I was fine. The next day, he sent me just one message at 7 a.m. saying he had gone for a run. I replied normally, but after that, he never responded again.

Now I’m questioning everything. I don’t know if I did something wrong during the date or if he was just pretending to be interested this whole time. I don’t know if I should keep waiting for something from him or if I should just move on with my life. I didn’t send any more messages because I didn’t want to pressure him, but it has been four days since the date and he hasn’t reached out at all.

P.S:

I only mentioned his financial situation because it is very far from my own reality, and, honestly, it made me feel a bit insecure. I know these kinds of connections usually feel like something that only happens in movies, but this time I just wanted to give it a chance.

I truly don’t care about money. I came from very humble beginnings, and the only thing I look for in someone is loyalty and companionship. I don’t know what his thoughts are, but I believe I made it clear to him that I don’t have the same financial conditions as he does. I don’t want to believe that someone would choose or reject another person based solely on financial status.

Should I insist or just let him go? Did I do something wrong ?

I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know why I’m like this. I just got out of another conversation with my parents and the moment they said “you go to church and you lie” I just got emotional and ran away. And marched into my room screaming. Unfortunately I have a problem with telling people the truth to my parents but I don’t do it out malicious I don’t because I’m scared.

I’m scared of being an adult

I’m scared of getting a license

And I’m scared of living alone

But why

Why can’t anyone understand me?

I feel like a monster because that’s all I am

A big giant no driving lying monster.

Sometimes I wonder what happened if I just never existed. Would Everything be different would everyone be happy.

Because I’m the problem cans I can’t even fucking save myself.

Being a mom is the most rewarding and terrifying thing I’ve ever done. My little girl is only two years old, but every single day, I find myself wondering: am I doing enough? How to be a good mother when it feels like there’s so much to figure out?

Some days, I feel like I’m nailing it. We play together, she laughs at my silly songs, and I can see how happy she is. But then there are moments when I feel like I’m completely failing. Like yesterday, when I lost my temper because she spilled juice on the carpet after I told her three times not to run around with her cup. She cried, and it broke my heart because all I could think about was, “What kind of mom yells at a two-year-old over juice?”

I read parenting blogs and watch videos on how to raise happy, confident kids, but it’s overwhelming. There’s so much advice out there, and half of it feels contradictory. Be strict, but not too strict. Let them explore, but set boundaries. Make healthy meals, but don’t stress if they eat nuggets and fries once in a while. I’m trying to do it all, but is that even possible?

I see other moms who seem to have it all together—perfectly dressed kids, Pinterest-worthy lunches, and spotless homes. Meanwhile, I’m just proud if I can get her to daycare on time with matching socks. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re struggling too and just hiding it better.

I love my daughter more than anything, and I want her to grow up feeling loved, supported, and safe. But how do I know if I’m doing it right? Is there some magic formula on how to be a good mother, or is it just about showing up every day and doing your best?

If anyone has advice or has felt this way too, I’d love to hear it. I’m trying so hard, but some days it feels like I’m just fumbling through.

Heyah👋🏻😄!!

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