Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Now we've had my Nan's funeral I've gone from feeling numb and depressed to feeling

every think all at one and crying and not being able to each any of my favorite TV shows.

dose it ever get better

I am currently under a lot of stress due to having te move, so I didn't celebrate my birthday. After forgetting valentines day, my bf promised me this saturday would be my day and I may choose something I wanted to do together. We haven't been on dates in so long and I loved that idea!

Now, I have come up with so many things to do and he is so negative about all my ideas. (Zoo, arcadehall etc) I actually don't even want to go anymore, he does this a lot. Everytime I want to do something it never happens or I have to beg for it for months, and even if we do stuff he is withdrawing himself.

I really looked forward to having a date with him again, and I am tired of having to plan something, just for him to act this way.

If we do something he enjoys I always (even if I don't fully like it) try to enjoy it and never be negative. But my feelings also matter and I am tired of my feelings being ignored. I have talked about his behaviour in the past, and he does agree that his behaviour is bad and told me he wants to work on it himself and that he doesn't need help.

Especially in the situation I am in rn. There is a housing crisis and it takes a lot of money and stress to move. We haven't gone out for months and I haven't had a nice fun thing in months. Everyday feels like surviving at this moment in this situation and I really looked forward to our date :/

Back in mid 70 my family had a reunion. About 60 to 70 people came. Unfortunately, dressed in those uniforms the uncles insisted I become a member of their party, sleep with the officers and become an assassin. No Way! I haven't seen my family in 50 years! Now I have stage 4 cancer I long to see some of them. No children. No husband.

I'm having a hard time, promise.. it feels overwhelming. I thought if you were a teacher, at least you were the boss. etc. I'll go back to sleep soon.

I'm now 35 weeks into my pregnancy and have been staying at home, waiting for my maternity leave to start. My partner, on the other hand, continues to work and usually gets home around 4:30 PM. By that time, I'm just beginning to prepare dinner, usually ready by about 5:30 to 6 PM.

This routine has been quite standard since I stopped going to work. When he arrives, he often mentions he's hungry because he hasn't had much to eat all day, sometimes only a small snack or nothing at all. I've suggested packing lunches for him, often with leftovers, but he constantly refuses, claiming he isn't much of an eater. Before we lived together, he would generally order something for himself, but now he waits for the dinner I prepare.

However, today was different. He came home and asked if I could have dinner ready by the time he walks in the door, so he doesn't have to wait for me to cook. I explained that it's too early to have dinner fully prepared at that time and that he’s the only one who's really hungry then. We also have a 4-year-old, and serving her dinner so early just doesn't work.

He responded by saying that he discussed it with his colleagues at work, who claimed their spouses always have dinner ready when they arrive home. He expressed how frustrated he was about always having to wait sometimes an hour to eat. I told him it wasn’t my obligation to fix his eating schedule throughout the day and that he would need to rely on snacks because I wasn't planning on cooking dinner any earlier.

This made him quite defensive, and he tried to make me feel as though I was in the wrong. But I genuinely believe I haven't done anything wrong. It’s just not feasible to change the entire household routine to accommodate his unusual eating habits, especially when I’m this far along in my pregnancy and also taking care of our young child.

I can't help but imagine how this conversation would play out if we were on a reality show. Viewers would probably be split, with some sympathizing with his hunger after a long day's work, while others might argue that with a baby on the way and a young child already in the home, it’s unreasonable for him to expect meals to revolve solely around his schedule. Reality show audiences love drama, so this conflict could likely turn into a major plot point with people passionately defending both sides.

i had a therapist for 5 years who last year was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. initially they said it was really abnormal and slow growing and they were confident they could perform a whipple and chemo and hed be saved. 2 months later post whipple the cancer had spread to his liver and he was diagnosed terminal.

all of this was devastating of course, im familiar with his family, something we bonded over was our children and how similar we were as parents and the way we cared about people. watching him be torn away from his 2 young girls is so awful and i feel so deeply for his partner.

2 weeks ago i had sent a regrettable message raising the awkwardness of the time we met because i was completely emotional and i didnt want him to think i was falling apart without him, because despite devastation 5 years of therapy gave me some great tools to accept emotions as they come no matter how large or overwhelming.

this message was something that stressed him out and his partner then stepped in and said she would be a communication bridge. happy for that i obliged only asking once to apologise realising the mistake id made. she had told me as he deteriorated i would be invited to say goodbye, and in the interim she would reassess whether me and said therapist could reestablish contact. given that now that i could recognise that i asked her whether it would be okay to message him some more, she said no as he was in hospital and i replied that was okay but i was more meaning in general as this is not how i wanted to remember him. i was happy to leave is as he was recovering and needed rest. i made a comment in reference to her recognising how hard it must be not having contact by saying yeah i dont know any other relationship where not only am i not allowed to visit but not even talk to someone whos dying. somewhere in the message sent she replied saying that the relationship was to be terminated as the ethical boundaries are clear in that once he stopped being my therapist our relationship ended. she stated they had tried to be accomodating of my needs but how i wasnt able to be appropriately boundaried and that i am no longer ever be able to contact my therapist again.

not only had she said about a reassessment of boundaries but my therapist the last time i saw him told me that was likely not going to be the last time i saw him, she has also stated about me seeing him when he was close to the end for closure. the level of betrayal here is massive. i feel lied to, disrespected and above all else heartbroken i may never get to say goodbye to my therapist. he hasnt contacted me either.

it not just this that infuriates me. for the last 5 years i have been in almost a constant communication with my therapist. i was lucky enough to message him day to day to establish rapport and safety and a sense of trust i do not hold in alot of people from childhood as most adults did not care to care. as an adult now with my own kids i struggle to see how anyone could treat their kids that way and still struggle with closeness with other adults as i constantly think theyre going to leave.. ironic.

i have had multiple letters from my therapist every time he went away to bridge any abandonment feelings as most times he had holidays it was around key events of trauma. he has continuously told me i am worthwhile, how much he cares about me, offered hugs (sensory regulation) and sessions like walks in the local park to ease the feelings that came up with being in rooms.

ethics dont begin to cover the gray areas he stretched to help me heal and throughout this by no means have i felt like he did anything wrong as i truly felt a sense of safety and ease and like i could manage without him because he believed in me.

that was up until his partner messaged me. we are 2 months after his terminal diagnosis, and after research the 2 year wait of ethics is technically in a gray area because he is dying. its a bit late to pull the ethics card.

now i know likely all of her message is because she is struggling to let go too of her partner, as would i be. i hold such a great compassion for her situation right now and of think about her very fondly.

this however has been handled so poorly. there have been constant moving expectations, and boundaries and i feel as though over the years i have put up with many instances where maybe as a client i shouldnt have had to. (a medical proffesional telling me once that its completely innapropriate the expectations that have been out on me.) all because i pushed to have it mimic a real relationship so i could learn how to navigate.

i have cried so much these past few months and before the terminal diagnosis was considering leaving therapy as i felt hugely capable without him.

this is such an abrupt was to end this half decade of my life trusting this man who in his dying days seems not to give a shit. or is maybe just running with his partners mistake in support. im not sure. but this is so devastating to have it end like this. its such an awful memory of him and now a shame because everywhere reminds me of him because of his involvement in my life. im sure later on this will be lovely but right now its painful. there was no goodbye.

its crazy to me because there was one time we had a fight because i said i cared more about him and he was going to reply, later told me,that i didnt know that so i couldnt say that to him.

this whole thing is fucked i know. but not even a goodbye after 5 years. like that is so shit. just so sad. its all so unfair.

For starters, hubby and I come from different backgrounds/cultures.

We had another baby about six months ago. After a few weeks, my in-laws came (from out of town; ~500miles away) to help out. They were great with the other kids: did school drop off and pick ups, went to the playground, read them books, etc. Since it wasn’t my first, I recovered better and felt pretty good. We discussed cooking schedules and I offered a few meals here and there. The visit was a success and they went home.

They decided to come back two months later since the kids had school events they wanted to see plus they could keep helping. No biggie. We welcomed them with open arms. It should be said that they brought their RV and stayed in that during their stays. We have enough space on our property and it’s not in the way by any means.

This visit was rougher. I will admit, communication was not as explicit as their first visit.

They weren’t taking the kids to school! I got everyone ready the first morning and even said “Ok, you guys are ready for school! Have a fun day!” In-laws were sitting in the living room reading books to the younger kids. I know they would have heard me. The last visit, Gpa would be waiting with keys in hand while I finished brushing hair and then walk everyone out. Not this time. He just sat there watching the little kids. I started doing the dishes bc I figured they would leave soon. After about five minutes, I realised “they aren’t going to take them, are they? I will have to take them.” I stopped washing the dishes and called out “ok time to go. In the van everyone.” Sure enough, gpa and gma were like “bye kids. Have a great day. See you this afternoon.” Since I hadn’t expected to leave, the baby was still asleep and I asked if they could just keep an ear out for the baby. They said, ”Actually, we’re going out for a coffee.” So, no. After wrangling all the kids into the van, I had to come back for the baby and put them in the van. Needless to say, the school kids were late. I had to get everyone out of the van, strap in baby, wrangle toddlers and guide the older two to the office then their classroom then back to van. I returned home. After about ten minutes, I get a text my MIL “We’re at [this cafe]. Join us after drop off.” That sounded lovely and nice but I was already home and baby back in the crib. I turned it down with a frown.

Fast forward. I’m doing all the dropping off and picking up with ALL my kiddos! But tell you what, we weren’t tardy anymore! 😩I’m having to cook every other day. Well, the cooking wasn’t terrible but the time when I had to start cooking was stressful bc they “eat by a certain time. Can’t sleep otherwise.” This visit was more of a vacation for them and more work for us this time around. I think they spent like 30 minutes reading books and playing with the kids and then it was “going for a coffee” or “going to lunch” or “we’re tired. Going to rest see you at dinner”. Every day. I won’t go into their comments. Not derogatory, just like “oh this is so nice and relaxing“ and I’m over here on my last thread!!!

Second trip was zero helping! They watched the kids for a short bit and we wouldn’t see them until after school and then dinner. The kids were always asking where Gpa and Gma were. I just had to say they went to their RV to sleep. We’ll see then at dinner. Poor kids just wanted their fun grandparents.

Thinking back. That trip was frustrating bc the kids wanted to see them and spend time with them and they wouldn’t stay in the house long enough. I know they are “old” and have the prerogative to rest. So why plan a trip you can’t handle? Stay home and rest. Don’t come and get the grandkids all riled up and not spend time with them. That’s what upset me. Do and say what you want to me but spend time with the grandkids!!

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I wanna post another of my vents, yet this isn't letting me. Why??

Recently my sister Mandy expressed her frustrations about the constant chaos within her family. She couldn't fathom why her family couldn't just get along and enjoy moments together. For around 20 minutes, she poured out her feelings while I mostly listened silently. When she pointed out my quietness, I acknowledged that she needed to vent, but I also silently thought that her ideal of a harmonious family seemed a bit unrealistic given the complexity of her family history.

To give you a clearer picture: Mandy had her eldest, Ethan, when she was just 18 with a boyfriend who turned out to have another simultaneous relationship that also bore a child. The discovery led to a messy conflict that ended with both mothers being arrested. She promised never to let that woman or her child interact with Ethan. She later married at 21 and had two more kids, Jenna and Levi, only to divorce their father immediately after Levi was born. By the time she was revamping her life yet again, she met another man. His former relationship had produced a child, Bella, whom Mandy now raises as her own, though unofficially. Jenna married and had a child, underwent a divorce, and got pregnant by another man during the marriage. Mandy's youngest, Cole, is also from a separate relationship.

Mandy is married once more, to a man with a complex paternal history of his own, including multiple children from different marriages and a non-biological child whom he's very close to. The family dynamics are intricate, with shifting loyalties and external familial tensions contributing to the turmoil.

During her venting session, Mandy couldn't understand why her family was uniquely disjointed. I ventured to say that very blended families are inherently complex, but she argued that others manage even bigger families without such discord. I responded, perhaps too bluntly, that her family felt more like a circus than a cohesive unit.

Mandy took offense to this, calling it cruel and a misrepresentation of their familial bonds. She demanded an apology, claiming that despite perceptions, they are indeed a family. We haven't spoken since then.

If my situation were to unfold on a reality show, the reaction might be explosive or perhaps even lead to a divided audience. Viewers might sympathize with the stress of managing such a blended family, while others might critique the dynamics or my harsh choice of words. Reality TV thrives on conflict and complex personal stories, so it could either provide a platform for understanding or flare tensions even further.

I wonder, am I really the jerk here for calling it like I see it, or is it just the hard truth that was tough for her to hear? How to get advice on family issues?

My fiancé and I met at church seven years ago and began seeing each other three years ago. We were both previously married and quietly separated from and divorced our previous spouses. Our separations began before we started dating and our divorces were finalized after we got together.

Due to the timing of the start of our relationship and lack of broadcasting our separations, there was a lot of that judgey church gossip surrounding us being adulterers and homewreckers.

Okay fine, we were not divorced yet and that was not a great thing for us to do. We rushed God's timing and plan and that didn't need to be.

But now that our relationship has gotten more serious (IE visible), it feels like our congregation has shadowbanned us, so to speak. We were both quite active in numerous ministries and elected positions. (You know how 80% of church work is done by 20% of the congregation? We are both in that 20%. Or at least, we'd like to be.)

Over the last year as our relationship has taken off, we have been removed from most of our committees by ways of not being elected to serve another term. With one exception, no one was elected in our places. On an informal/adhoc basis, we are not selected to participate in the worship service ahead of time. If a worship participant does not show up and there is a sudden need for someone to fill in, we are not asked and when we volunteer, we are told no that's okay, someone else will do it. Or no one does it and the service goes on without.

I am finding these actions to be punitive in nature, especially since we are in a small aging congregation where there aren't a lot of people who are able to help out. So to be informally told that no one doing this task is better than one of us doing this task is weird.

The only tasks we have held onto are the major tasks that no one has shown interest in managing instead. The food pantry is a one woman show and the online media streaming is a one man show.

It hurts me that this place we've called our religious home can take our money and our physical labor, but will not allow us to serve our church in a visible capacity anymore. He is content with having less to do, so he isn't bothered the same way I am, but he has noticed the pattern.

I would like to speak to someone at the church about this, but who? I feel like I would just be gaslit. Oh no, that isn't what's happening. We just want other people to have the chance to contribute. But the liturgist pool is 2 people less. Communion takes longer because there are fewer assistants. We use online music when we can't locate an organist or pianist in the community.

It's just. Weird. And I don't know much what to do. I am contemplating church searching after the new year and seeing if a clean slate would do us good.

Am I tripping? Am I not? Is it worth having a conversation with the pastor about? Who knows? Not me.

Im a veteran with some mental health issues facing foreclosure. My nephew will pay the bank what I owe and let me stay for $500 a month for life and the deed be in his name. But wont do a lease purchase and let me pay him $500 a month for 6 years. Im unable to get a loan cause the number of missed payments.

So, I just had the most confusing argument with my boyfriend, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Out of nowhere, he tells me I’m "too clingy." Clingy?? What does that even mean in a relationship? I honestly don’t get it. We’ve been together for a while now, and I thought being close was a good thing. Isn’t that what being in love is about? Spending time together, sharing our lives, and, you know, actually being there for each other?

Look, I’ll admit I do like to know where he is, what he’s up to, and I text him a lot during the day. But isn’t that just because I care? We both work, and I miss him during the day, so a quick message here and there seems normal to me. I didn’t think it was something that would be seen as "clingy." He even said he loves how I’m always there for him, so now I’m just confused. How can it be both a good and a bad thing?

And, honestly, it's not like I’m following him everywhere or stopping him from hanging out with friends. I just want to be part of his life, and I thought that’s what he wanted too. So now I'm sitting here thinking, what is the actual meaning of clingy in a relationship? Does it mean I’m supposed to back off? Give him space? But then, where’s the line between showing love and being too much?

I guess I’m just frustrated because this word came out of nowhere, and I don’t know how to fix it without feeling like I’m not being myself. Has anyone else dealt with this? What’s the clingy meaning in relationships supposed to mean anyway? Am I overreacting here?

I know that there are people suffering more out there, I’m a great listener! But sometimes I need someone to listen to me as well.

I hope I’m just going through a teenage nightmare

I think my parents hate me, especially my mom. She just slammed the door at me

I mean I do love my parents, but why do they dislike me? Well here is the answer: My dad is living in Korea, and my mom is in Hong Kong with me. She wants to go back to Korea but she’s afraid that I’ll be too dumb to catch up on Korea’s harsh teaching environment. I think she wants me dead, I’m just being emotional am I? Well I hope I am, my parents wanted me, that’s why they got me, but now that they have me, I’m starting to feel like I’m ruining things. I wanted to make things easier and better for everyone, why how come things turn out like this? I made it worse for others, and twice as tragic for myself, sometimes I care about others a bit too much. My friends at school uses me, my teachers hate me for being too smart, or sometimes asking questions without evidence when other kids litterally threw a bottle across the classroom which could have hit someone hard. My parents hates me, my teachers hates me, why classmates are fake friends, who do I rely on now? The internet is my only hope I suppose

I don’t know why, but everything I do is wrong for some reason. If i unintentionally do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, move wrong, I get yelled at.

Only a few days ago, I had a few things lying around. I didn’t have to time to clean yet, I’ve been busy with school and work. Ofcourse, I got hit. It doesn’t hurt but it’s scary. Everytime I hear them yelling, I’m scared that they’ll come up to me and hit me, even if I did nothing wrong. I just can’t help but freeze or even flinch when they raise their hand at me yet they still wonder why I refuse to hug them anymore, like to be near anyone or for others to be in my space.

I often prefer to be at school rather than at home. I dread going home, I like it at school. I’ve recently gotten a really good review on my behavior. They told me I was an outstanding student. I liked it. My parents don’t ever tell me that because im not good enough to them and i know it.

Sometimes, i wonder if the reason why i hate personal touch within my family is something that I struggle with mentally, but don’t know about yet. I’m just really conflicted. I honestly can’t wait for the day I turn eighteen. Only a year to go. I really want to move out as soon as I can.