Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

i had this weird dream back a month ago and a week or two ago i got another dream with them but for some reason i felt safe in a sense. to give background info, i participate in orchestra, and while i do love it, i genuinely do think singing is a better place for me, and something i can do 90% effortlessly despite being self-taught. the first dream, i was dreaming about my orchestra teacher and apparently in the dream, i was breaking into his home with my best friend for some reason. the house was supposedly greek-themed (keep in mind, i have no idea what the house looks like nor do i want to know), and it was nighttime. i don't know nor remember why i was "breaking into" his house during the dream, but all i remember was towards the end of the dream, i believe i was harshly scolded (or somewhat beaten) while they told my friend to just leave. i feel like some other background information i could give regarding them is that they're actually a very kind person, but they're also strict on proficiency as well, for good intent. however, i get constantly embarrassed to practice at home due to my sister's criticism (i feel like it was a bit harsh, but i got tired of it to the point i would start crying) so i just stopped and tried to squish in before being tested on it. they're always available to help, but i feel quite scared doing so in case i feel i may get scolded (in the unlikely event that that happens). i just want to know what that means because a week ago or two, i had another dream with them but their orchestra room looked a lot more different, mainly that the walls were a different color but i felt like i trusted them. it's not that i don't, but i feel scared to do so. but after that, i was driving this car that i couldn't stop the pedal on nor hit the brake and ended up having to stop it somehow at a dentist's office. but they were no longer there, just this random family where i was doing this trend and somehow the son of the family got the credit for it. i wasn't upset, but i wasn't particularly happy.

i also looked on reddit and quora for some advice to see what it could mean and one user said it means that i could be looking for answers. as much as i agree with it, i feel based off myself and my orchestra teacher, i feel i'm not really seeking answers more than i'm seeking trust from who i can and can't trust to avoid putting my deepest vulnerable life stories into the wrong hands who doesn't trust me (or vice versa) nor have any care for the confidentiality of the story. i can't bring myself to see my teachers as people who do care very much outside of teaching more than i just see them as a teacher because i was afraid to get close to anyone.

so what does my follow-up dream have to do with this?

what does this truly mean then, given the background info and my hurt?

Written as a letter to my mom...

Dear Mom,

You promised me that you'd visit China were I was adopted.

You promised me that we'd drive up the coast of California.

You promised me that we'd visit where you grew up in Long Island, New York.

You promised to show me around Europe and the places you went on your college trip.

You promised me that you'd go to Las Vegas for the Chinese New Year decorations for the Year of the Snake.

You promised me that we'd visit Chilé were you spent your younger years.

You promised me that you'd be there for me on all those trips.

But the most important place that I wanted you to visit is walking me down the aisle if I got married.

I'm single again, but I would've wanted you to be there with me to comfort me when things well out between my boyfriend and me.

I know you're in a better place, and we always said, "Fuck Cancer!" But by God, by anyone who would listen, we'd promised that we'd travel the world together!!!

I'm tired, it's late at night when I'm writing this. I'm sleepy.

I love you!!!

Love, you're daughter who loves you to the moon and stars and back!!

i am 31 years old, and it seems like I've been wandering aimlessly through life without any real direction or purpose. no impressive qualifications, not a single diploma to my name, and it's like I'm stuck in some endless cycle of being judged inadequate and fired from one dead-end job after another. it's not just a single instance of bad luck either; it's a recurring nightmare, like clockwork, every few weeks. bosses look through me like I'm transparent, colleagues avoid conversation, and I find myself drifting back to the familiar disheartening embrace of unemployment. could it be that I am simply not good at anything?

it's not like I haven't attempted to excel at something. i've tried my hands at various trades, crafts, and roles, but each time, it feels like there's an invisible barrier that stops me from progressing beyond the rudimentary stages. people say practice makes perfect, yet even repeated efforts leave me stranded at mediocrity. it's downright humiliating and demoralizing to constantly fail at every endeavor. do you ever feel like life's a puzzle but you can't find any of the pieces that fit? it's like the world moves forward while i'm firmly anchored in place, unable to keep up, always a step behind the rest.

the social scene fares no better. no friends to lean on or have a beer with after another miserable day fighting the urge to give up. even my family, if you can call them that, are a bunch of self-absorbed nitwits who couldn't care less about my existence. if I dared to confide in them, they'd just wave it off as "my problems" without a shred of empathy or genuine concern. is it too much to ask for a single person who actually gives a damn about what's going on in my life? maybe even a semblance of encouragement every once in a while??? i'm aware i'm not some shining beacon of charisma, but a single friend would really make a world of difference. it's amazing how excruciatingly lonely life can get when you float around like a ghost that nobody notices.

i wonder how some people manage to glide through life so seamlessly when i'm perpetually stuck in a rut. is there some secret hack to success and fulfillment that i'm unaware of? considering the questionable state of my life, it's doubtful. i'm not naive; i know nothing worth having comes easy, but it feels like even when i exert myself, give it my all, I'm always falling short. always a few seconds too late, a dollar short, a skill under-mastered. my brain should be a vault of skills and knowledge by now, yet it seems disappointingly barren, rendering me unfit for anything beyond the bare minimum. sometimes the thought creeps in that maybe i'm just not cut out for this whole 'life' thing.

so here i am, punch-drunk with indecision and paralyzed by the fear of yet another failure. what is a purposeless man supposed to do in this chaotic world? maybe my supposed "indefinable potential" is more like imaginary bullshit i've been fed by well-meaning ignoramuses who refuse to accept some people are simply destined to drift. are dreams just illusions for the delusional, or is it possible there's a corner in this desolate maze where an opportunity might miraculously lie waiting??? i don't even know anymore. life feels like a game with no instructions, and i'm consistently losing. can anyone explain what the hell i'm supposed to do now?

just wanted to put it out there, we don't realise just how valuable and golden our parents are. as much as they can get annoying at times and god forbid, you wish they weren't there, it's about time we all open our eyes to the fact that they are humans deserving the most love there could ever be in this world.

my parents have gone beyond their abilities to make sure I have what I want, need, and what they wish for me to have. it's so annoying when they sacrifice their desires, their wants and use those means to fulfill what I want or need. the little things that they do, the things that passed my attention like a breeze, I'm starting to notice them more. I'm starting to appreciate them more, cherish all those little things.

I have grown up and somehow got myself to kinda not declare these kinds of deep emotions. I could be crying in my room for how sweet they are, and yet I won't be able to give them a glimpse of my gratitude. and no, this part of me will not change. I have not expressed," I love you" verbally, and that's why I use letters and pourrrr out every emotion, every sorry and thank you, every I love you on things like their birthday cards etc.

my point is. everyday I see them head out to work and stick themselves into the same depressing routine without any complaints, and I think to myself, oh god, please bless my parents. how do they do this every day, hustling their way with optimism as they show me. I want to do something for them too. I feel guilty that I haven't shown them how much I care for them, love them thriught actions or words. I don't help around much in the house ( they also don't allow me to) , I hardly hug them, or tell them I love them and I appreciate them. and honestly that's a family thing-not expressing these stuffs. so can you give me other solutions that don't involve these cliche "oh just start hugging them cuz you'll regret". firstly, I am aware and that's why I want to change smth, but I can't find the words to express what exactly I want.

anyways, treasure your parents and help out here please!

On January 21, 2025, I came home from school overcome with anxiety. I only slept two hours the previous night to make time to finish schoolwork, and my inability to think coherently caused a flurry of irrational thoughts I couldn't understand. All I knew was that they surrounded the unusual behavior my close friend Kennedy displayed at school that day: she was avoiding eye contact with me, her reactions were slower, and she seemed so out of it.

I am 16f, and I have this close friend who I've only known for three months but connected deeply with because of the past painful experiences we shared and our identical issues. We both secretly admired each other for the past five years or so, hanging out with different people in the same classroom and a few years in the same friend group, but we never dared to approach the other because we simultaneously thought the other person didn't hold interest.

She was the one to initiate things in the October of last year, in a time when I wasn't stable mentally and had pretty much given up all notion of social interaction and friendships because of my apathy. I saw her "HMM WYD" text and felt so bewildered in the midst of my inner struggles that I might've feel into an extreme denial of her intentions. I acted like a bully to her for a while because of that. Or to be more precise, like a tsundere LOL

But she was so persistent and vocal about her fondness for me that I found myself acting in a way different from my usual emotionless and inexpressive self. To say the least, she saved me.

But then last week, she opened up about the dark thoughts she has and how her family sees her as someone with a "mental problem." Since then she admitted to me yesterday that she has been experiencing a strange uncomfortable feeling, that she "used to like me to such an extent" but that something changed inside of her regarding her feelings towards me. She said she didn't know why. She said it wasn't my fault she was feeling that way.

I miss her so much.

At the age of 45, I have a daughter, Abby, who is 17 and just experienced her first date with a classmate, who we'll call Sam. My apprehensions stem from my belief that high school romances don’t tend to endure—they're more like preliminary trials for later life. I felt it was my duty to temper her expectations to shield her from potential heartbreak, like when he might leave her for someone he finds more appealing.

Unlike her younger brother Jake, who's 15 and always on top of trends and self-care, Abby doesn’t invest much in her looks; she neglects makeup and fashion, opting to wear the same old clothes to school daily. After her date, she returned home brimming with excitement, constantly talking about Sam. I candidly expressed my surprise that Sam chose to date her, questioning his intentions. I explained that many teenage boys aren't looking for serious relationships and might be using the date as a dare or simply to boast to friends.

This led to an argument where Abby felt I was insinuating she was unattractive and undeserving of a boyfriend. Trying to clarify, I stated I was merely trying to manage her expectations, not demean her. I compared her approach to her brother's, hinting that a bit more effort on her part in grooming could enhance her prospects, not just romantically but generally in life. She interpreted my comments as controlling, but I see it as guidance toward success, stressing the competitive nature of romance and appearance.

She insisted that Sam enjoyed their date and seemed genuinely interested in her. However, I cautioned her about the transient nature of such teenage interests. Observing her peers, I remarked that she needs to elevate her dressing style to stand out positively.

Abby now accuses me of sabotaging her happiness. I attempted to explain that I was only aiming to prevent the kind of hurt I experienced when my ex-husband left me. But she’s not speaking to me currently. Even her brother and a close friend think I was too harsh. I often wish my own mother had given me such direct advice; I consider my approach as tough love. Was I too harsh, or just being realistic?

If this encounter was part of a reality show, I imagine the reaction would be quite divided. Viewers might sympathize with my protective instincts yet criticize my approach as overly harsh and potentially damaging to my daughter’s self-esteem. The drama and emotional tension could certainly draw attention and provoke strong viewer reactions, reflecting the complexities of parent-child relationships.

I was employed in management at a bustling resort nestled in a sought-after vacation spot. Our resort regularly hosted weddings, and as part of the planning, the event coordinator typically reserved a block of rooms for the attending guests. It was routine for a manager, like myself, to handle the check-in for the bride and groom. Before their arrival, the coordinator warned me about the bride's demanding nature.

The bride specifically requested a room on the topmost floor, nearest to the shoreline. We accommodated her as much as possible by arranging their stay in the Honeymoon Suite, which was on the third floor with a sweeping view of the ocean. However, this did not satisfy her. She became irate when I informed her that it was the highest and closest room available. At the front desk, she melted down, causing quite a scene as I tried to explain the limitations.

A coworker sensed the escalating situation and went to fetch the event coordinator as the bride lashed out vocally at both me and her fiancé. The poor man was profusely apologetic, trying his best to soothe her. She eventually accepted the room keys, but it wasn't long before she returned, this time demanding that we evacuate the neighboring rooms and those directly beneath hers. Of course, this was impossible as those rooms, priced at $640 per night, were fully occupied.

Fortunately, I was not on shift during their actual wedding night, but the stories reached me by the next day. From verbally abusing the serving staff to ejecting the band for playing a tune she disliked and engaging in a full-blown altercation with her mother-in-law, she seemed to have left a trail of upheaval behind her. Despite the grandeur of their $40,000 wedding, she managed to sour the experience for many.

The groom, aware of the challenging situation, left a box of wine for our front desk staff as a gesture of apology for his bride's behavior. Out of all the challenging brides I've encountered, she certainly took the crown for the most unforgettable.

Imagine if scenes from that day were captured in a reality show. What a spectacle that would have been! Given her dramatic outburtemps, the episode would likely feature me trying to mediate an almost constant stream of complaints and unreasonable demands, peppered with her outbursts resonating through the corridors of our resort.

Now, thinking of such an intense day being part of a reality show really makes me wonder how bizarre and unnervingly entertaining that would appear on screen. Would the viewers sympathize with our team, or would they be enthralled by the bride’s over-the-top drama? I can only imagine the chaos, and somehow, I'm thankful it was just another day at the resort and not an episode for the world to see.

The last time I was here, I talked about my struggles in getting employed as an autistic girl with issues that directly go against the expectations of a job.

Well, against all odds, I got one! And it's my dream job! Wow!

...or so I thought.

It's zero-hours, minimum-wage, because that's all I could get and I know better than to hope for more. That's not the issue.

The issue is that while my bosses are super accommodating and have tried to allow me my adjustments, I've come to find there are parts of this - and likely every job - that I just can't tolerate.

I come home exhausted and in agony from walking around every day even if I've been allowed to sit as needed.

Customers find fault with me no matter how pleasant I try to be (and then complain to my bosses instead of just telling me? why are people.).

The staff reactions to my existence vary from passive-aggressive judgement (not paranoia, I have caught them laughing at me) to constant verbal digs that I know won't be solved since the one responsible for that holds a lot of responsibilities in the company and I am far more replaceable.

There's a severe lack of routine and communication in a way that is mostly unavoidable due to the nature of the job, supply issues that cannot be easily fixed meaning I get the backlash when we run out, and everything is too loud and too much pretty much all the time.

I've tried my best, I've been there just over a month now, and I was hoping I'd be able to ease into it as we went but over time the cracks are beginning to show in a big and dreadful way. It's like I got everything I wanted, but it's all come out wrong and now it's hurting me instead.

I have no time for hobbies or even basic self-maintenance - I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't anything. I barely eat now - either no energy after work or so anxious I throw up before it. Showering happens only if I force myself to wake up early to do it. My room looks like a bomb hit it, and the sink is full of dishes that neither I nor my dad have the energy to wash.

I don't feel human, which sucks because I'd just got good at feeling human before all this - now I just work and then I come home and shut down until it's time to work again.

"So quit. Just leave, and find another job" - but if I quit I'm back to jobcentre hell and my emotionally abusive dad will never let me hear the end of how he was right that I'd fail at this job.

It's awful but it really doesn't feel like there's any 'good' outcome for me here. I wanted change and I got it, but now I want to go back to how it was.

It's just down to what I'm willing to tolerate more - this job or more years of jobsearching, which will be made longer by the fact I GOT a job, lasted a month, and then left.

I could stay in a job that I hate, that physically hurts me and saps all my energy for anything at all even on the shortest shift, but at least I get paid (until they decide to let me go, like every other place, probably, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.)

Or, I can quit, be tormented by my immediate family about it, and go back to soul-crushing jobsearch hell where there's nothing for me AND I'm paid far less, but I'm not in physical pain and I get to actually feel like a human person some of the time.

Neither option is good for me, but I worry I'm going to be pushed into choosing sooner rather than later, so I'd like your thoughts.

I've been homeschooled my whole life. I've always hated it and left me to feel bitter. I saw my friends who went to public or private schools, they told me I was lucky, yet they were the ones who had friends, relationships, even the resources at school that helped them with their education. I had none of those. For me, I would wake up, go on my computer, finish my school, and stay home. I begged my mother to put me into public school when I reached 9th grade, didn't happen. Best she could do was enroll me into a virtual school, not any better since it was the exact same lifestyle. The only way my mother would comfort me was tell me about College, how when I got to college I'll meet so many people and start my life. Everyone told me that. That was what I held onto during my years, it was the only thing that kept me going. I worked hard, had a great GPA, did a lot of strong extracurriculars, take strong classes. Long story short, college admissions season has ended, and I basically got into none of the schools in my state that I wanted to go to. Every out of state school that I applied to and wanted to go so badly accepted me, all with scholarships. But it's too expensive, I have no financial aid since my family makes too much, but they said they won't help cover costs if I go out of state. The only in state school that accepted that is decent quality is 20 minutes away from my house, I'll get a car at least. To make it even better, it's known as a commuter school, social life is dry from what I've heard. All of my friends got into their dream schools, schools that they should be proud of, meanwhile Im ashamed. I thought it would finally be my time, something would finally happen. But nope. I'll be at my home, doing the same routine I have done my whole life. Nothing will change. I'll never go to a football game with friends, I'll never live in a dorm, I'll never know the thrill of being on my own. I wanted so badly to have that. So badly to live. Know I just feel empty and bitter and I keep thinking about all the "what ifs". I've never had the average teenage experience, hell, I haven't even had my first kiss. Now I will never have what I have only been dreaming of my whole life. I can't even begin to explain the absolute despair I am feeling. I thought things would be different, I thought I would be celebrating, not mourning the life I will never have. What stories will I tell to my children? I don't have any.

At the age of 24, I found myself in an awkward position with my brother's then-girlfried, whom I initially embraced like a sister. She joined us on family vacations and integrated seamlessly into our circle. When my brother, who was 30 at the time, asked her to marry him, I was excited to be chosen as a bridesmaid. At 21, I shared a place with a roommate and didn’t have much financial leeway. My mom had graciously offered to cover any of my expenses for the wedding. Initially, my sister-in-law had promised to pay for the bridesmaids' dresses, but as wedding plans progressed, she unexpectedly sent over details which included the costs for us to cover, along with an expensive bachelorette party plan.

After sharing these details with my mom, she confronted my sister-in-law since we had proof of her initial offer to pay for the dresses, which she denied. Given the financial strain, I made the tough decision to step down as bridesmaid, and I wasn’t alone; all but her sister made the same choice eventually.

My relationship with my sister-in-law grew tense following the incident. Her interactions became blunt and uncomfortable during her visits. Recently, when my mom, who’s been battling menopause symptoms, prepared a lavish meal during one of their visits, my sister-in-law found reasons to complain yet again. Upon their departure, she expressed her annoyance over not being included in our family photo frame – even though I hadn’t even included myself. After some heated words, relationships cooled significantly.

This incident led to a brief period where no one communicated until my mom reached out to mend fences. Despite her efforts, my sister-in-law's demeanor remained cold and dismissive. I’ve since decided to limit my interaction to sending gifts to my niece, relying on my mother for any updates. It’s painful missing out on family moments, but the emotional toll was too heavy.

Honestly, if this drama unfolded on a reality TV show, I wonder how people would react to seeing it all play out on screen. Would they see the situation from my perspective, or judge me for pulling back from family ties? I can imagine the intense discussions and polarized opinions amongst viewers, dissecting every look and decision.

the Mayor is a busy and hardworking man on my street who has taken it upon himself to police us little people from his house on the hill.

I used to be really good friends with his daughter. growing up we were always together, I was over their house a lot like she was over mine so I'm not really sure what made him lose his mind.. perhaps he got old. maybe he was always crazy and was born with it.. I remember hearing about his brother who lost his mind MANY years back, apparently his brother beat a few men senseless.. all went to the hospital except for one... then he went to jail.

I remember all the times the people littering would drive him crazy. all the times he got in his car and followed people to their homes to throw the garbage they dropped into their car windows or on their lawns, how he made large colorful signs and found ways to zip tie garbage cans to the stop signs and telephone poles on the corners.

I remember hearing about his daughter... from his daughter, my friend, and I was so confused. I thought she was talking about herself in third person until I realized she had a sister much older than her that went to the same school as I did and who ran away from home because her parents were way too crazy. she said that her room was originally a different room but as soon as her sister left, climbing through the window and out onto the deck, they redid the room and moved her in there, putting big things like trees and a gazebo to block the windows. she said from that point on her parents were different, they hovered and lingered more, they pulled her out of school and enrolled her in expensive private school, blaming the public school for not only her sister's disobedience but probably the sister's gayness as well. I remember her parents installing cameras around the inside of their house as well as secretly having spyware in the TV's, phones and computers to record times, conversations, passwords.... she found out because we shared account information for a game that we were playing together so sometimes I would go on her character to collect things for her or level her up, vice versa. she said that whenever one of her friends would comment about a sign on at a weird time for her she would just assume it was me... until she signed on my account to help me out by collecting when I got punished for something I didn't do or deserve. she had never signed on my account before so she thought everything was ok.... then her mom, the same lady who would slap her openly in a store or yell and embarrass her in front of classmates and friends, asked her if she had anything to say for herself.. anything she was hiding or lying about. of course she was confused, she had no idea what was happening and her mother probably didn't explain anything either. she ended up grounded and started to ask to use my phone and computer more often, even when we were over her house. She admitted to me that she was using my stuff to talk to some guy she had a crush on and that she hid the number of an unapproved guy in the hole in her wall she got from kicking a soccer ball in the house. when her dad found out the whole only got bigger, he called that kid countless times over a week threatening him and then made a deal with her that if he would answer her call and talk to them they would allow her to see him again but of course he never answered the phone. gradually we stopped hanging out with all the activities they had her doing but at some point I had graduated from school and she was going to too. They were going to throw this huge party for her and invite their friends and family but days before he flipped out on my family about our fence.

At the time, before we even knew about plans for a party.. it was Spring and we had wanted to replace the rotted out pieces of fence before the dogs got out. We weren't going to ask for money but since it was originally his fence that he put and we shared that one side, we figured it would be safe just to let them know. From what I heard it went well, the mayor had said he wanted to fix it but with him being a really good handyman and master carpenter his back was shot, he asked for some time, again no worries we weren't asking him to fix it or anything. we actually needed more time to decide on the fence since we were going to go for the full perimeter fence and not just at one side or section. he said nothing about a party and nothing about not having money, we weren't even asking for money.

weeks went by and with no word from him we decided to go ahead and order the fence. it took days to be delivered and once it was delivered it look another few days to put it up ourselves. they didn't offer help or money, we didn't ask. we did it fast like that not only for our dogs but also not to really inconvenience anyone. just as we finished the fence and planting some of the plants and flowers we got it had started raining hard so we went inside. apparently this bothered the mayor. it rained the rest of the day... let's say it was a Sunday with work the next day, obviously no one came out for the rest of the night to do anything with the fence. the next day, Monday all day people would be working.. at least on our side. the mayor can't work long with his back apparently.

we came back home to the mayor's wife waiting for us. she nicely but very awkwardly said that we should finish the fence because they were going to be having a party Friday. we apologized for the inconvenience and finished the fence, planting some more before it got dark and rained again. the same thing happened, the mayor was unhappy thinking we left garbage for him to clean or didn't care much about his property even though it was raining. Tuesday it rained so the progress was halted but Wednesday we went back after work to fix a panel of the fence, we were even nice enough to plant some flowers on their side of the fence, put some dirt and fertilizer with grass seed down too ..yeah it wouldn't grow until later but it was something right? we were happy with the job on both sides and sealed the fence again, officially done with the fence. no one said anything, no one gave money... the next day Wednesday or Thursday he went out there and ripped all the flowers we planted on his side out, he moved all the dirt away and blew the seeds away. we didn't say anything to them about it. they got ready for their party on Friday and partied all weekend long... some time during the next week he typed out an anonymous note with all of our transgressions from living next to them and put it in our mailbox. we knew it was him right away and when we asked him about it he played dumb and then him and my stepdad had a screaming match outside. for the next few days he would randomly walk out on his deck, yell out of his house windows or from his porch "YOU'RE MAKING ME FIGHT WITH MY FAMILY" and play loud music in his house and in his yard and cars. he would prank call the police like if we were doing it and set off his car alarms and put car alarms at all hours too. to this day he's never apologized, his wife never apologized or said anything about his behavior, same like his daughter. I thought at the very least she would say something but no. he's dead to us, they all are.. but his behavior has only gotten worse. he's nitpicked other neighbors and sent them letters and had screaming matches in the front yard.. to the point where he messed with a Mexican and you had ALLLLL the Spanish from the area on our block and in his yard at 3am shirtless, chasing him around screaming... even the Spanish women were out there cursing them while holding their kids.

Hello. I lost my pet pig almost a year ago and am still dealing with feelings of regret and guilt, as well as loss. He was the closest thing I could call a child and a big part of my life for three years.

He was sickly a few times before he died, with loss of appetite and energy. I took him to both a clinic and got a vet to look at him, but didn’t get a lot of answers and was just told to try to feed him. So I did, and most of the times he got better, but then got sick again.

Then he one day after getting a lot better (I thought) got REALLY sick and I panicked since I was sure he was dying. I still lived with my parents then, but they weren’t as panicked as me and said they would help me take him to a clinic in the morning. The vet on call (night shift) also said we probably could wait till the morning. It was Sunday night and I was thinking more about the money than I now wish I did. He died after a few hours of me trying to keep him warm.

I am now learning after researching what I think was his cause of death, that I could have saved him if I gave him early treatment. And pretty easily at that. That has been haunting me since he died, and I can not stop feeling like a horrible human being, and selfish person that cared more about the money than take him to a clinic again after a unhelpful experience.

I felt like I was dying the first week and literally could not sleep because I was crying so much and saw him every time I closed my eyes. I still cry when I see his photos, and more than anything feel like it’s my fault that he died, and that he would have had it better if someone else was his owner.

I’m mostly here to vent, since I don’t really feel like I have anyone to talk about this with. It’s my first time using this site, so I don’t know if this is the correct way to post. If anyone has some tips for getting over mostly the guilt, I would appreciate it. Thank you for reading.

I often find myself wandering the halls of my school, feeling as if I'm cloaked in a bubble of invisibility. There’s this overwhelming sensation that everyone is watching me, or worse, judging me. I mean, why is it that I have no friends? Is it something I've said? Something I've done? Or is it simply that I'm just not likable enough? I often observe groups of students laughing and chatting, and I can’t help but wonder why I am not part of their conversations. Do I have a sign on my forehead that reads “unwanted”? Honestly, it feels like I’m the butt of some invisible joke—and trust me, it isn’t funny!!!

As days bleed into each other, I consider the possibility that perhaps my existence irks people. Maybe it's my aloof demeanor or my refusal to conform to the expected behaviors of a "typical" teenager. It seems to me that people thrive on conformity while I repel it. But is it wrong to be true to myself? Why should I change for others when I am perfectly fine as I am? Maybe this lens through which I perceive social interactions is distorted. Yet, every time I try to engage, I am met with cold responses or, even worse, indifference. Is there a rulebook that I’ve missed? Is my approach to socialization fundamentally flawed? I can’t help but question whether my supposed unpopularity is a reflection of who I am or simply a result of circumstances beyond my control...

Despite these feelings of isolation, I want to hold onto hope!!! I refuse to let negativity dictate my self-worth. Life is too short to agonize over the opinions of those who hardly know me. Perhaps the tides of change will turn, and friendships will blossom in unexpected ways. The world is vast, and there are countless individuals out there who may appreciate my uniqueness. So, why do I allow this unfounded fear that everyone hates me to consume my thoughts? Instead of drowning in self-doubt, I will choose to focus on self-improvement and personal growth. Today, I may feel invisible, but tomorrow could bring new opportunities!!!

Hey all, It's currently 2:40am as i write this. I really don't know what to say or do i guess. Well here goes nothing.

I'm 20M, and currently in a situationship with this person (21F) She's been one of my best friends for the last 8 years, and about a year ago we both realized we had feelings for each other. We can't be together at least not yet. We're both kind of struggling mentally. She's pretty much already my girlfriend without the title, and I haven't felt this way about someone since my best friend died. (My best friend became my girlfriend for 6 months before she passed) In the last 4 months she's had some drama and issues with an ex and a friend. Each time, my fault. Her ex emotionally manipulated her into dating him and he well, was threatened by me i guess. It's a whole situation. Another girl who (Wasn't really my friend a mutual) joined us for some gaming and spread lies about me and her which made it's way to her EX. (This was about 4 months ago)

Now today, her ex friend i guess removed her and they also had a thing a little over a year ago. He wanted more, she wanted to be friends, and the only reason they're having issues is because I told a mutual of ours what was happening between me and her, well, that mutual told her friend and they had a falling out over it. Now I've only had a panic attack twice in my life, First time was when that mutual told her friend and tonight. I'm just so fucking scared to lose her, I've practically given up on trying to find someone for me, but she's different. We've always been close and have always had a connection. Which is why I am trying so hard to make this thing work. I'm honestly giving this all I have left. I don't have it in me to try and start over with someone new, this is it for me. I don't want to lose this. Because i know this is the most right It'll ever be. I've been lied too, cheated on, and just abused (In all 3 senses) and I don't, I can't let myself fall to that again. So this is the last chance for me. I don't know what to do.

To provide some context, my parents went through a tumultuous divorce and currently, they do not communicate at all. I have my own family now—married with young kids—and we live in a house that's quite a distance from my father's residence. After his remarriage, which I did not attend, relations have been strained.

The occasion in question was my young son’s birthday. To my surprise, he wanted a full-fledged party even though he just turned three. Perhaps I was naive not to expect this; I quickly put together a guest list which included my son's friends and my mother, given her proximity and ability to attend at short notice. The celebration was delightful, and my son was thrilled. I shared some moments from the party on social media.

Then came a startling message from my dad. I’d rather not reproduce the message here, but it conveyed his frustration about not being invited to familial gatherings, my absence at his wedding, and his feeling that my mom has turned me against him. He warned of unspecified 'consequences' if this continued.

Confused, especially since I had just seen him at a family gathering on his side the previous month, I explained the impracticality of having him and my mom together, given the likely conflict. I suggested meeting up on another day so he could spend some time with my son. Regarding his wedding, I shared my discomfort about attending, stressing it wasn’t personal. His mention of 'consequences' did not sit well with me—I’m financially independent and, honestly, the idea of any material loss doesn't faze me much. Being excluded from his will or inheriting debts seemed the least of my worries.

Despite my efforts to explain, the conversation looped back to his grievances. I feel caught between maintaining peace and the desire for him to have a relationship with his grandchildren.

Adding to this, if our scenario played out on a reality show, I imagine the dramatic music ramping up as tensions unfold, with close-ups on tense faces. Viewers might be split—some empathizing with the need to keep family peace, others frustrated at my dad’s lack of understanding. Comments would probably flood in about family dynamics and managing elder relationships in modern settings.

I’m grappling with the idea of whether to limit our interactions as my siblings have chosen to do. It’s a tough call when you hope your children can know their grandfather, but not at the cost of constant family tension.

How would the public react to a reality show episode featuring this family conflict?