Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

My girlfriend, Emily, recently made a drastic decision to register for a half-marathon scheduled for December. Surprisingly, her motivation to participate stemmed from her desire to avoid another event scheduled for the same day, using the marathon as an alibi. Before Emily registered, she consulted me and despite my advice against it due to her dislike and inexperience with running, she proceeded to sign up anyway. She explained that she would follow a 12-week training program that came with the registration, hoping to prepare adequately for the challenge.

As an amateur yet seasoned runner myself, regularly participating in elite club competitions and having completed numerous races including half-marathons, I expressed concern. This past summer, I scored notable placements in competitions, finishing fifth and twelfth in different race categories, showcasing my intermediate prowess in the sport. With this background, I tried to offer advice based on my experience.

Emily has always mentioned her aspirations to lead a healthier lifestyle, which I fully support. She recently took up Barre classes, which she enjoys immensely. I initially thought her newfound passion for Barre was the push she needed to sign herself up for the marathon. Given her enthusiasm, I suggested incorporating walking and light jogging into her routine before embarking on the intense 12-week marathon training program. However, Emily was reluctant to double up on her exercise regime, fearing it would be too exhaustive alongside her Barre classes. She believes she possesses a sufficient cardiovascular foundation from her previous basketball activities, despite ending her involvement in the sport eight years ago.

Although her primary aim is to complete the race without targeting a specific finish time, I stressed the importance of serious preparation to avoid potential injuries, especially given the demanding nature of a half-marathon. My insistence led to a heated exchange where Emily accused me of being unsupportive and imposing undue pressure, causing her distress, particularly as she compares her fitness level to mine. Taken aback, I apologized for possibly diminishing her enthusiasm, recognizing the need to approach her athletic ventures with more sensitivity.

This situation, if unfolded under the keen eyes of reality show cameras, could evoke various reactions from an audience. Given the typical nature of reality show drama, viewers might sympathize with Emily's challenge of stepping out of her comfort zone while also critiquing my approach as overly critical or unsupportive, sparking debate among fans.

For those closely following our story, the intrigue and empathy surrounding Emily's ambitious goal, juxtaposed with relationship dynamics and personal growth, could make compelling viewing, adding layers of human interest and relatability to a simple tale of physical endurance.

Recently, I went through an incredibly tough time—I lost my pregnancy at 12 weeks. Only my husband, Dan, knew as we decided to keep this private until I was mentally prepared to discuss it with others.

Things took an unexpected turn when my sister, Emma, visited me the other day. She inquired about my well-being in a way that felt oddly specific. Confused, I questioned her about what she meant. Emma looked shocked and hesitated a bit before telling me that Dan had shared news of our miscarriage. He believed that letting others know would aid in my healing process.

I was stunned and felt utterly betrayed. Later, when I confronted Dan, he confessed that he hadn't wanted to "hide" our situation anymore. This led to a massive argument between us, and in a fit of anger, I locked him out for the night.

Currently, Dan has moved temporarily to his mother's house. He thinks I overreacted and feels humiliated because his family got involved. On my part, I'm hurt and believe he really overstepped by sharing something so personal without my consent.

Now, imagining if this drama unfolded in a reality TV show, I can just see the cameras zooming in on our argument and the producers playing sad music over my confession scenes. The internet would probably have a field day analyzing our relationship dynamics and debating about privacy in a marriage. How surreal that would be!

Was I right in feeling violated and angry, or did I really take things too far?

Hello everyone,

I find myself in a bit of a tough spot with my Maid of Honor lately, and I’m starting to second-guess if I made the right decision in choosing her—or if I might be the one overreacting.

Initially, I clearly explained the usual responsibilities expected of a Maid of Honor. Nothing I asked was out of the ordinary. Despite this, her lack of enthusiasm for my wedding has been disappointing. She’s completely hands-off, even when it came to organizing my bachelorette party. I found myself planning and coordinating the entire event. I even took on the driving and finances, though thankfully, the other bridesmaids stepped in to help, and we ended up having a wonderful time at a local amusement park. It wasn’t a lavish affair, just a simple day out, yet my Maid of Honor was hardly involved.

The situation became more apparent when other bridesmaids started to question her absence during the planning stages. She barely contributed, even having her boyfriend send a small amount of money on her behalf last minute because she claimed she was broke and jobless.

Later, she organized a night at a bar and unexpectedly paid a significant amount for the reservation. It was confusing because she’s often told me she’s strapped for cash, needing rides and unable to chip in financially for events like the bachelorette party.

Her attitude further dampened my spirits when it came to discussing her dress for the wedding. She reacted negatively and complained about the cost. When we tried to talk it through, she insisted she was on board and wanted to fulfill her role but blamed me for not making the duties clear—though she made no effort to seek clarification. This claim felt weak to me; resources are plentiful, especially online.

Her contradictory behavior continued. She mentioned not having money but then went on to make non-essential purchases and even planned a trip. Her boyfriend has been covering their living expenses entirely. It leads me to believe she might expect me to cover her wedding attire and accessories, something I can’t afford with my upcoming wedding expenses.

As my wedding approaches, I’m torn between supporting her financial limitations and wanting to enjoy my wedding without this stress. I’m considering asking her to just attend as a guest, though I worry it might ruin our friendship.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if this were unfolding on a reality show. Would the audience see her actions as justifiable or think less of her for not meeting what many would consider standard expectations of a Maid of Honor? Would they sympathize with my position or label me as too demanding? Reality TV often thrives on conflict and misunderstanding, and this situation seems ripe for that kind of dramatic interpretation.

It’s really weighing on me, and I just want to make the right decision without hurting anyone or being seen as unreasonable. What do you guys think? Am I a bridezilla?

—Stressed Bride

Hi guys,

I'm really into board games, especially Dungeons & Dragons, which my friends and I play every week at my place. We've transformed these gatherings into quite the spectacle over the past five years, complete with costumes, atmospheric lighting, and evocative background music. We truly immerse ourselves in the fantasy world.

Recently, a retired couple in their 60s became my next-door neighbors. They seem nice but are a bit on the traditional side. I’ve noticed them giving me strange stares and steering clear of me, which seemed unusual initially. Then, I concluded they probably weren't too keen on mingling.

However, things took an interesting turn last Saturday. Right as we were peaking in our game intensity, with my buddy Jake delivering a dramatic speech as our nemesis, and me brandishing a prop sword in my rogue's cloak, disruption came knocking—literally. Answering the door in full regalia, I found my new neighbors, expressions etched with concern. It was almost comical as the wife hastily inquired if "everything was okay," referencing the frequent visits, the mystical chants, and our peculiar costumes.

Caught off guard, I jokingly replied, "We’re just summoning demons, no big deal!" I chuckled after the comment, but the joke totally fell flat. They exchanged shocked looks, mumbled about their devout Christianity, and retreated.

The next day added a layer to the misunderstanding; tucked under my door was a “cult deprogramming” brochure coupled with a note suggesting I meet their pastor to "save my soul." My friends found the entire episode amusing, even proposing that we amplify the antics by roaming around in robes and enchanting exaggerated spells in the corridor. Part of me wants to play along, but I'm also slightly concerned about genuinely unnerving them.

If this whole mix-up unfolded on a reality show, I imagine the drama and misunderstanding could reach humorous heights. Cameras would zoom in on the horrified expressions of my neighbors and capture every mischievous grin of mine. The reveal episode, where the truth comes out, could even end up being heartwarming or hilariously absurd as both parties come to understand each other's worlds.

Am I a jerk for unintentionally leading my neighbors to think they’re living beside a cult leader? Should I straighten out this mess, or just let them think what they will? 😁

i grew up believing something was off, but i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. it wasn't until i hit my late twenties and started therapy that the pieces clicked. both of my parents exhibit behavior that's frighteningly consistent with narcissistic personality traits. my therapist used the term “narcissistic perverts” once, and it rattled me, because it fit too well. not in a dramatic, made-for-tv kind of way, but in the slow, insidious kind of manipulation that wears you down without you even realizing it. it’s exhausting living with the constant feeling that your emotions are invalid, your achievements are never enough, and your boundaries are optional suggestions they feel free to ignore whenever it suits them 😒

my dad masks his manipulation behind a facade of reason and logic. he’ll say things like “i’m just being honest” or “you’re too sensitive” whenever i try to call him out on his emotionally dismissive behavior. growing up, he would tell me i was “too dramatic” whenever i cried or got upset, even if i had a legitimate reason. like when i came home from school one day in tears because a teacher publicly embarrassed me—his response? “you probably deserved it.” that sentence never left me. it etched itself into my memory as one of the countless times he made me feel small. he doesn’t scream. he doesn’t throw things. but his silence and cold logic cut deeper than any raised voice ever could.

my mom, on the other hand, plays the victim card like it’s her career. everything is always about her. if i tried to talk about a bad day at work, somehow it would spiral into a conversation about how she once had it worse. i remember mentioning i was struggling with depression in my early twenties, and her response was, “you don’t know real pain until you’ve been a mother.” i just stood there, numb. there was no space for my pain, only hers. she uses guilt like currency—reminding me of the sacrifices she made and how ungrateful i am for not calling every day. “after everything i did for you, this is how you repay me?” is her go-to line whenever i set even the smallest boundary.

what makes it worse is the gaslighting. when i bring up specific moments or confront them with how their actions made me feel, they either deny it happened or tell me i “misremembered.” it’s like arguing with a wall that changes shape every time you touch it. nothing sticks, and you start questioning your own perception of reality. this constant emotional distortion makes it hard to trust others—and harder to trust myself. even now, when my friends validate my experiences, there's still a little voice in my head whispering, are you sure you're not just being dramatic again? 🤷‍♀️

lately, i've been distancing myself. i limit contact to occasional texts and birthdays. part of me feels guilty—like i’m being a “bad daughter.” but another part, the part that’s finally learning to breathe, knows this space is necessary. healing doesn’t mean pretending it never happened or forgiving before you're ready. sometimes it means stepping back, protecting your peace, and acknowledging that some people—yes, even parents—are toxic. do you ever wonder how many people walk around thinking they’re broken, when really, they were just raised by people who shattered them without ever lifting a hand? if you’re reading this and it resonates, i hope you know: you’re not crazy. you’re not dramatic. you’re not alone. 🖤

Because of my low self esteem, I went on a chatting website and made my pfp a picture that showed off my body to get compliments from guys so that I could feel better about myself. I ended up going a bit too far with this one guy and sent him an exposed picture of me. I feel guilt and worse than before.

Hello everyone!

I'm not a native English speaker, so please excuse any grammatical mistakes.

My mom planned a New Year’s trip to the beach, but with us having a cat and a dog, and my parents being divorced, I chose to stay with my dad, leaving my mom to celebrate with her side of the family. However, my dad and stepmom are quite fastidious and weren’t keen on handling the pets – they believe it’s not their job to manage such tasks.

I suggested my mom could take the dog with her, while I looked after the cat. She refused, explaining that my grandfather, whose house they were visiting, wasn't fond of dogs, and she didn't want to leave my cat all alone. In the end, she arranged for the neighbors to provide food and water for the pets during her absence. Although I wasn't comfortable with this plan, I felt my hands were tied and reluctantly agreed.

Time passed, and although I wanted to visit the pets, my dad’s packed schedule made it difficult. Five days into my mom's trip, a distressing message came through from her. “Hanna is not eating well”, it read. Alarmed, I pushed to check on the pets immediately.

Arriving home, I was met with a heart-wrenching sight. Hanna, my two-year-old dog, was covered in filth, having apparently consumed trash. I hurriedly bathed her and even trimmed her fur to clean her up as best I could.

My cat, however, was in worse shape. I broke down crying when I found him injured and struggling to breathe, his body bearing scars. The vet later speculated he might have been hit by a vehicle. Now hospitalized, the thought of him suffering gutted me. This felt like neglect; the neighbor's goodwill was not enough to ensure the animals’ safety.

Upon their return, instead of taking responsibility, my mom and several aunts placed the blame squarely on my shoulders for not visiting the pets more frequently. Frustrated, I defended myself, pointing out I didn’t have access to a vehicle or any way to intervene more than I did. Thankfully, my dad supported me, yet I still felt like I let everyone down, including the pets. Despite my warnings, this disastrous scenario unfolded, and now my dad is footing the vet bills, an expense that could have been avoided had my mom listened.

Now, all communication about this incident has ceased on my mom’s end, yet I can’t help but feel resentful. Am I wrong for feeling upset with her over this?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show. The drama and tension would certainly draw viewers’ attention, with cameras focusing on the heated arguments and teary confessions. How would the audience react to seeing the neglect the pets endured and the subsequent family fallout on screen? Would they sympathize with me or label me the villain of the episode?

I feel a little annoyed. I have nothing to do. I'm on vacation. Tomorrow should be a day I plan to go to work, but vacation takes me out of my routine. It's not something I enjoy. I loved being there at work. I felt like they were forcing my mind to focus on something else. Without work, I feel like my days will be the same, that I won't face anything new. Being alone in my house fills me.

The solitude of my house is overwhelming. I don't feel like reading or writing anything, even though I have that hobby, because I'm flooded with ideas. It's not a question of therapy, which has me very disappointed. I haven't been lucky enough to find a good therapist either. It saddens me not to have relationships that go beyond work.

There are two girls I interact with. Work is the only place where I have relationships because on the outside, they're barely a one-off contact, even though there are intentions from beyond. These girls only interact within the workplace, and the approaches that are appropriate for such events always involve the fear of losing out on a matter beyond the workplace.

I feel very sad. I have no one to talk to. I won't talk to my coworker or my boss, with whom I felt that supportive company. I enjoyed their games, their considerations, and those scoldings that reinforced order. I felt protected by this, as well as by higher-ranking authorities, who I feel respect me in a loving way. When I'm at home, it's just me.

My father may be there, who is the only person I count on, but I have to admit that nothing is the same for him. I barely see him once a week, and it's only to maintain the relationship as a means of supporting me with income. It's something I feel hypocritical about, although lately I've tried to keep contact brief so as not to raise as many hopes as possible for a future beyond such encounters, for a closeness that could pave the way for us together. These meetings, precisely, allow us to emphasize that everyone is on their own, as long as the economic issue is present, since otherwise it will become a struggle in which there will be attempts to disrupt each other's routine, just as meetings would be more numerous each week.

Frankly, I loved being at work. Now, my only friends these days are my walks, the television, and access to the internet, nothing more, where no one speaks to me knowing it's me, but instead I rejoice in more knowledge, which, for the one I have, is already overwhelming due to the fact that it creates a distance from others, which has long since tired me out. I have to admit that distancing myself from my reflections has given me the benefit of being more in touch with others, due to the fact that I don't sophisticate my language. However, I feel this has been a betrayal on my part, since I truly enjoy such a matter.

I'm in my last year of middle school and since 5th grade I've been friends with these two girls which i love so so much and I'd do anything for (I'll call them girl 1 and girl 2 from here). Since this school year started we've been the perfect trio but for some reason they keep pushing me away. I did confront girl 1 (i feel like she would understand more because she went through this in the past) and she did say she's closer with the girl 2, but that she still likes me a lot, as her other friend (important is that at the time i also had a crush on her but i got over it). For a week it was great again but after that it happened again and i was pushed aside. I feel so awful when they talk with eachother and all i can do is stare because they are seatmates. Anyway, I've tried hangung out with other people as well, which i think makes it a bit better, i was a total outcast and now there are more people talking with me, but i still feel shitty and selfish because girl 1 is going through way more then i go through and i feel like i just look for attention. I try to leave them behind because all they do is hurt me and fortunately I'm leaving for high-school in less then half a year in another city, but i also feel like crying everytime i see them not talking to me even though i am right there as well. (Also i am doing much better for a couple of weeks now because my boyfriend is the sweetest guy ever and he helps me through this)

Dealing with dietary preferences can be quite a challenge in a marriage, and sadly, it seems my husband struggles to remember or respect mine. To be clear, my list of food dislikes isn't extensive – I steer clear of spicy and acidic dishes, have a distinct aversion to raw tomatoes and calamari, and dislike sweetness in savory meals. Despite these preferences, I am not overly fussy; there are plenty of dishes and cuisines I enjoy without issue.

It's frustrating when my husband dismisses my preferences as overly complicated. For instance, I selectively enjoy fruits like pineapples and oranges only when they’re particularly sweet, because if they aren't, they tend to be too acidic for my palate. It's a simple enough method to deciding what fruits to buy, so it's bewildering why this is so hard for him to grasp.

Recently, an incident that highlighted his disregard occurred when his bosses decided to buy food for me. My husband, knowing my usual aversions, chose a sweet and sour chicken dish. He justified his choice by referencing a rare occasion when I had enjoyed this dish at a specific restaurant. Unfortunately, this particular time the dish turned out not only sour but also rather spicy. I attempted to eat it to avoid conflict, but it was too unpalatable. When I expressed my inability to eat the dish, he became upset and told me to just throw it away.

I find it troubling that he could disregard my clear and repeatedly expressed dislikes, especially when I have stressed my aversion to sweetness in main courses. His impatience over the situation seems unreasonable to me, especially when the solution appears so simple: remember and respect my preferences.

Imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality TV show; the audience might be split. Some would sympathize with my frustration over having my dietary preferences repeatedly ignored, echoing the sentiment that personal food choices should be respected by one’s spouse. Others might view it as an overreaction to a simple mistake, arguing that the incident was just a misunderstanding of preferences and not worth a significant dispute. It’s likely the dramatic fallout from the incident would captivate viewers, showcasing the everyday challenges couples face, magnified under the scrutiny of public entertainment.

How might I have handled the situation if it were happening on national television? Would the pressure of viewers' eyes change the dynamics of such a personal issue?

Now, thinking about the nuances of this situation:

- How should my dietary preferences be handled?

- Would viewers take sides, and what would their perspective be on such a personal yet relatable marital disagreement?

so one of my friends said my hair looks pretty today :D

the hairdo is fairly simple, just the top half of my hair in a ponytail and the bottom down and long, but when she complimented it it made me so happy

and a little bit earlier, I got triggered by a splatter on the wall at school that looked like blood and she was understanding and gave me a hug

she's just so nice and I think I might like her...

she's like my bestie and has helped me w stuff in the past.

and seeing her gives me a little flip in my stomach

and I cant help smiling when I think of her

but I mean she's already taken and I don't think shed like me anyway

what do I do?

I don't know if this is the right place to talk about something like this but I need to get it off my chest and I don't want to emotioanlly burden my other friends by talking about this - as I've already talked to them about this and I don't know what to do about it.

Since December I've noticed one of my group of friends getting into really bad habits; more specifically with alcohol and marajuana (even more specifically, weed pens/vapes). I'm fully aware that I'm not one to throw too many stones in a glass house (not sure if I'm using that correctly) as I've tackled the same sort of problems they're experiencing, but have reached a place where I am able to do it recreationally and have a healthy relationship with it.

Where I'm from, THC and HHC have been banned, so now smoke shops are selling weed pens with really strange chemicals - I think the one my friends buy are called HHZ or HHX?? And alcohol is, of course, very easily available in most shops. Because of this accessability, my friends are buying weed vapes tri-weekly and drinking on weekdays alone. They seem to have no problem with this.

It also seems to me now, that every time I hang out with this group of friends we always end up drinking and it is exhausting. My house is also used as our main 'drinking spot,' which is putting a strain on me and my father, whomst I live with and does not appreciate the company when he has work the next day. Last week really broke me. We have a groupchat and one of them asked if 2 of them could come over to my house after they had watched a movie in the cinema to drink at 11pm. Are you fucking kidding me? I wasn't even invited to the fucking cinema and now you want to come over to my house just to drink? Am I a fucking dive bar??? Fuck you!

I never really had a problem with the weed pens either until the new HHX/Z shit came about. I myself used to smoke weed pens when they were still HHC/THC, but stopped because I was noticing that I wasn't right mentally and figured I should stop for my wellbeing. I'm worried that this is going to hurt them in the long run, especially since one of them that smokes them is in a difficult major in college and I'm worried about their performance.

Also, this seems relevant enough to throw in here, their humour and perspective on things has 'devolved' for lack of a better word. The way they talk about certain things just seems so childish and I normally wouldn't mind but sometimes it really bugs me, I don't know. And I can never talk about things that I'm interested in, and I fear that I'd get laughed at if I suggested something like "Hey, let's go to an art gallery/exhibition" or "Let's go to a jazz bar" even though that's a completely normal thing to do once in a while that doesn't involve liver damage or whatever. I know this because whenever I try to plan something new for us to try, a recent example being us going to a variety of new upcoming artists in the city, the plans always seem to conventiently fall through. But it's ok! Because there always conventiently time to go to the same fucking bar we always go to instead that have cheap drinks that get you drunk quick because why bother with something new and exciting when you can just get shitfaced!?

I feel guilty for facilitating this, but I don't know what to do. I've always had a hard time saying no but despite that I try my best to set boundaries, telling them 'no' straight-up when they ask to come over just to drink. I fear that if I voice my opinion, it will come off as a sort of 'mightier-than-thou,' since I've made it known that I've cut back on my marajuana and alcohol use over the past year after a particularly nasty bout of substance abuse following a break-up. I've talked to other people about this, but they've never given me any advice to remedy the situation - and I feel bad if I go to them for the hundredth (hyperbole) time with the same issue. I don't know. It's nice to scream into the void here instead of bothering anyone, but maybe that's just me.

For the people that saw my goodbye post. I didn’t succeed in my attempt. It’s just gotten worse as my family members know and now I will be getting a therapist soon. I just want to go. I don’t want to stay longer.

My father-in-law is undoubtedly generous but also possesses what he jokingly calls "the jerk gene," which means he often disregards others' desires. Ever since my husband, Alex, and I moved in with his brother, my father-in-law made a surprising move. He purchased the house next door, which was on sale for a bargain, intending it for us. After discussing with his financial advisor, it was agreed that the house title would be shared between him and Alex. We would handle all taxes and utilities, and eventually, the property would be Alex’s inheritance.

Here’s where it gets complicated. The house is quite rundown and needs significant renovations. Initially, Alex and I agreed that we would manage the renovations. Having a background in restoring old family homes, I was more equipped in this area than Alex, who isn’t too familiar with home improvements. Despite this, my father-in-law refuses to communicate with me directly about the house renovations. It’s incredibly frustrating as Alex becomes a go-between, passing messages and clarifications back and forth.

The tension escalated today when Alex told me that his father insists on approving any major renovations over $5,000, even though we are financing them. He wants to have a say in everything from the choice of tiles to the light fixtures. Fed up, I sent all my correspondence with our selected contractor (thankfully, no contracts were signed yet) to him, suggesting that if he wants full control, he might as well handle everything. This would mean turning the house into an officially rent-controlled property, adhering to local housing regulations.

Now, he's pretty upset, branding me ungrateful, selfish, and overly controlling. Honestly, I’m at my wits' end and no longer interested in the house. I’m seriously considering grabbing our cat and temporarily moving in with my brother. Of course, I don’t wish to leave Alex, but I'm exhausted from dealing with his father's caprices.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show; the dramatic interactions and my eventual bold ultimatum would likely resonate with viewers. It's intriguing to think about how audiences might react to such familial tensions being aired publicly, perhaps rooting for underdogs or critiquing behavior. Reality shows thrive on this kind of intense personal drama, and our situation could easily be a pivotal plot twist!

Would you live in a house your FIL controls?

Long story short, I have an online friend whom I formed a very close bond with /p. We would talk almost everyday. A few months ago, she stopped talking to me, informing me that due to family emergencies, she is overwhelmed and needs some time by herself. I understood that and waited for her, even though, I felt very lonely. She came back for a very short time and then said she's becoming inactive again, due to more family emergencies happening. Again, I tried to understand.

She came back after her family emergencies were finally over. We started talking again, everything seemed to be back to the usual. Until 3 weeks ago, she said she needs to focus on her exams and I understood. I stopped talking in our private server altogether because that's what I always do whenever she's gone. When I trust someone, I tend to talk a lot. That's why I held myself back to not overwhelm her.

A few days after she said that, she came back, sending a voice message talking about a situation she told me before she went on a break/hiatus. But I wasn't home and I couldn't give her my full attention. So I decided to leave it for later and I forgot (For better or for worse). Then a few days *after* the VM, she messaged, saying she ruined one of her exams and she needs to delete Discord to "lock in".

When she first said that, I was very upset. Because like I said, I stopped talking to her to let her focus on her exams. I didn't want her to get distracted by my messages. I felt like she's saying it's my fault... Because I'm the person she talked to the most on Discord. Also, it begs the question what the heck was she doing when she first said she needs to focus on her exams? I thought that was her "locking in".

But also, the amount and the lengths of these breaks are getting ridiculous to me. She started talking to me only for a month (Maybe even less) before she disappeared again. I know you have to understand that your friends might need some alone time and that they're not available forever. But I'm genuinely starting to get scared :,).

The thing is, due to a lot of my past "friends" taking advantage of me, I've become very paranoid. The moment the smallest thing happens, I start to feel like that this friendship is over... I don't always talk about them to my friend because I know sometimes my thoughts are irrational. (I was paranoid even when she disappeared because of her family emergencies, which was a very valid and understanding reason :,).)

Another thing is I'm an only child and I generally grew up very lonely. So when I feel attached to someone, it's hard to let go. I'm not saying this to garner sympathy. I'm just explaining why all of this is making me panic and why my attachment to my friends can get in the way.

Seeing that the number and length of her breaks are becoming longer, I feel terrified... This particular friend feels special to me because not only she fuels my artistic side, she also has been the most understanding and supportive friend I had...

I'm not saying I don't have friends outside of social media. It's just I just found new friends after moving back to my hometown and it will take a while for me to trust them and talk to them the same way I talk to this friend. So it feels really lonely for me right now...

It's not that I'm not busy at all, I'm probably more busy than my friend because aside from classes and studying, I also have a part-time job and my university's Psychology Association. But whenever I have free time and I check Discord and when I see our private server being inactive, it really hurts...

But I still feel selfish for feeling this way... I know I should be supportive and understand my friend no matter what and not always think about my own benefits. But it feels a bit tiring to wait for so long for your friend to start talking to you again, only for your friend to disappear again.

During her hiatuses, we would sometimes send Reels to each other that were like "Thank you for being my friend!" "I'm proud of you!" and these days when I send one, she either doesn't open my DM's despite occasionally posting on her Stories, or takes forever to leave a reaction or something. She also stopped sending me any, which really breaks my heart... (Yes, she hasn't deleted Instagram. An app that is arguably more distracting than Discord...)

The other sad part is that her birthday is coming *somewhat* soon and I wanted to be next to her to celebrate. I was planning on doing a simple drawing of her OC to celebrate, maybe even VC and talk about stuff. But I have a feeling it won't get acknowledged just like the Reels...

I'm sorry I know I sound selfish and petty through this. I don't know what to do. I really miss my friend. But I'm starting to feel like maybe our friendship won't work anymore... Because I feel like after starting to talk to each other, she's gonna disappear again and I can't take it anymore. It hurts so much that I can't help but feel upset. It kind of makes me not want to talk to her if she came back... My paranoid side feels like she's found new friends and that's why she's become comfortable with leaving me behind. I'm not saying it's bad to have other friends. I'm saying I think I'm being replaced...

I'm sorry again. I feel really pessimistic about this, even when I try to not judge quickly and be understanding. If anyone has any advice for me to cope with this, I'd appreciate it.