Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

It's so hard not having anyone when you need them most.

Why do I always feel like I'm begging for your attention, like I'm the only one who wants to be with you?

Will you look for me first when I'm gone? Does it really have to be like that for you to finally realize my importance?

Everyday is a battle, between me against the world. I feel so alone, unworthy of anyone's attention, atleast that's what I've always felt, and still am.

Maybe I just need to accept that everyone has their own lives and that I am no one's priority. I can't just ask them to do something and expect them to be able to; like spending time with me during my dark days.

Id like to start with saying im 17 and female. I met my best friend in freshman year of high school, she was awesome, and throughout the years became even more awesome. Shes truly the most beautiful, kind and supportive human alive. Except we have had a very rocky friendship, since the begining I knew this was going to be a tough friendship. We bonded so fast and became close within months of knowing eachother, but this had caused me to grow extremely attached to her. I remember I used to cry myself to sleep if she responded to a text a little late, or if I found out she was hanging out with other people, it would break my heart. Needless to say, I had a very unhealthy perception of her, and she recognized that. We would argue constantly about how clingy I was and that I need to chill. It would shatter me everytime we would argue, I genuinely couldn't handle the feeling of her being upset with me, it made me feel so empty and lost. I began self harming and I had these worrying thoughts of ending my life. I didn't want to be alive but I couldn't die because then I wouldn't have her. I remember promising myself if she ever left me I would end my life. I had a constant fear of losing her. I really don't know if I was in love with her or not, I am now, but before I think I was only obsessed but that obsession lead me to fall in love with her. I was so in love. I wanted her so badly I couldn't focus on anything, I was falling apart without her. I remember crying every single night for a whole year straight, cutting and burning myself on the bathroom floor while sobbing and wishing she loved me the way I loved her. I never want to feel that pain again. Our friendship issues began seeping into my homelife, my dad noticed something was wrong with me and at the time I had an online boyfriend who was 19, at the time I was 15 and when my dad found out about my online boyfriend he was furious. He went through my phone and from there found out I had been self harming. He sat me down and told me if I was so depressed then I should light a match and burn myself in front of him. He had also found out I had been stealing marijuana from my mom. My parents are divorced and I would steal my moms drugs when I visited her, it wasn't anything serious, just marijuana and weed pens, I had also stolen a few vapes. That whole situation broke me. I had never wanted to die more than in that moment. I felt so hopeless and like nothing in the whole world could save me. The worst part is my dad took my phone for 9 months. I felt so isolated and had no way of communicating with my best friend except at school and she comforted me and let me feel all my sad feelings even though I was overwhelming her. Things stayed about the same until the end of freshman year, and once sophomore year had started I had begun to finally feel better. I could handle myself better even though I was still a wreck. My best friend continued to stay by my side. I had also began to accept my feelings for her, I loved her. I truly loved her and saw her for the beautiful person she is. But in September, I had accidently confessed to loving her. It absolutely crushed my soul when she didnt feel the same, and it killed me when she said she felt betrayed. I had hurt her and betrayed our friendship and trust. I felt so unworthy and disloyal. I hated myself and all the suicidal thoughts had came back. That day I had seriously contemplated killing myself. I couldn't. We didn't talk for about a month and when we started talking again It was like that never happened, we talked it out and everything was normal again. Things felt great for about two months. Then it was thanksgiving break and even while typing this I cant help but cry. Thanksgiving break I got a text from her. She wanted to tell me something, and she told me she loved me, and that she was so sorry. She told me that even though she loved me, she could never be with me because it was a sin to be homosexual. Instead of feeling sad I was overjoyed because she really had loved me the whole time. We texted nonstop the entire thanksgiving break, playful flirty messages, confessions about our love for one another, and everything we felt. I had told her everything, how much I loved her, I told her everything. She told me she felt the same and told me how much she loved me. Even to this day Ive never ever felt as warm. Nothing can compare to that week. But by the end of the week she had told me that despite everything she said, I cant get my hopes up because she cant be with me. She was so guilty and she felt so bad, she felt like she was leading me on. And I was so blinded by her love for me I didn't even care that she was leading me on, I didn't care one bit, I soaked up every drop of attention she gave me and craved more. She continued to give me attention and love on me for about three weeks after that. After school we would cuddle and we would sit outside and watch the sky. I went over to her house and we cuddled, I remember holding her hand and feeling her warm body so close to me, I'll never feel anything that safe and comforting again. But we knew it was doomed from the start. She told me we needed to stop, it was hurting us both. She was leading me on, and it put a huge strain on her relationship with God. It broke me, yet I was still so hopeful, I didn't listen to her, looking back I realize how selfish I was. Eventually after days of nonstop tears I had to come to terms with our reality. We couldnt be together. Its been exactly a year, our friendship is closer than ever and I have grown enormously, but I know deep inside I still love her, I love her with all my heart and no matter what happens I feel like I could never ever stop loving her. Since the moment I realized I loved her to this very day, my love for her has only grown. I don't know how to move on, I don't know if I could ever love someone as much and that scares me. I'll never meet someone who truly means EVERYTHING to me. If she died right now, I know Id be next because she is my reason for living. I don't know what to do anymore, and we talk about our love for eachother on occasion. I know she still loves me, but we can never ever encourage it because of her religious beliefs, and I would never do anything to hurt her relationship with God because I know how important that is to her. In a perfect world I know we would be together. I just wish love was easy. She is the most precious thing to me, I hold her closest to my heart always.

Although I may not be as bad as others, I still feel horrible about myself. I'm fat, ugly, without any hobbies or any significant interests other than games. My music taste is literally just composed to Video Game OSTs so I can't even bond with others. I'm just a hollow shell of a person, no talents, no skills, no hobbies, nothing. "Oh, you like music, what's your favorite band." Oh, uh, I don't know, Studio EIM? I want to feel proud, I want to tell myself that I'm enough, that I'm worth something.

But I honestly can't. My friends always tell me how weird I am for my passion in games. "You're actually such a loser for listening to just Video Game soundtracks lol". I know it's probably just for shits and giggles, but it honestly really hurts whenever they nitpick my already miserable life. And I often feel like a sore thumb when I realize that someone else that likes my interests aren't actually insane for them.

Take for example Project Moon, my most beloved game studio. I feel like I'm always babbling about Project Moon so much because I thought he was the same, but turns out he's just a casual fan. I feel embarassed whenever I feel happy talking about PM because I always think I'm just being a nuisance.

I just don't feel close to them anymore, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to fit in because I'm scared of losing them.

I just want someone that I can trust to talk about anything, knowing that they won't talk behind my back. Someone who would be with me no matter what happens.

My husband and I are parents to a wonderful 12-year-old daughter who has recently become the target of intense bullying at her school. The issue escalated quickly from mere name-calling to more aggressive harassment. A bit of background; our daughter was adopted, something we've always openly cherished as part of her unique story. Unfortunately, once this detail became known at school, the bullying intensified with classmates making cruel remarks about her birth mother not wanting her, despite the fact that her birth mother made a huge sacrifice due to her immense love for her.

The situation recently took a disturbing turn when our daughter returned home devastated, with two inches crudely chopped off her ponytail. This happened in class as her peers mocked and ridiculed her, compounding her humiliation and distress. The ongoing torment follows her through the halls daily.

My husband and I have reached out to the school relentlessly, through emails, phone calls, and direct visits to discuss the matter with teachers and the principal. Each interaction ended with vague assurances of "looking into the matter," but no real action followed. Seeing the toll it's taking on her—her anxiety, disrupted sleep, and pleas to avoid school altogether—we felt compelled to consider legal measures against the school and the bully's family in search of some resolution.

It was only when the threat of legal involvement was clear that the school and the bully's parents began to show a semblance of concern. The school has since moved the bully to a different class and the parents insisted they'd address their child's behavior. But can they be trusted? To me, these feel like temporary solutions, mere gestures to defuse the legal threat rather than a genuine commitment to resolving the issue.

Given the circumstances, most of my family believes I should pause the legal proceedings now that the school seems to be responding. Yet, I can't shake off the feeling that these actions are superficial, primarily aimed at avoiding litigation rather than safeguarding my daughter.

Imagine if our story were featured in a reality show, the intensity of the public's reaction could potentially sway the school into taking more permanent and effective measures. Would the dramatization and spotlight pressure the school administration and the bully’s parents into genuinely addressing the bullying issue or would it just make them more defensive?

So, am I wrong for continuing with legal action even though the school and the bully's parents now claim they’re addressing the issue?

Hi, it's me again, X, here with another vent.

I've been boggled by the news lately about this universal Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) that's becoming a worldwide standard. In the Philippines, the Senate is now discussing the Anti-Teenage Pregnancy Bill, which suggests that CSE would be taught to students. What's more concerning is the claim that they're considering teaching masturbation to children as young as 0-4 years old.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but I grew up preserving traditions and religion, and for me, isn't this just so wrong to do? I understand the importance of educating the youth, but introducing such topics at such a tender age feels inappropriate.

Moreover, I believe that to prevent children from engaging in sexual activities at a very young age, we should limit their exposure to such topics in the first place. Teaching them about masturbation and the pleasures of sex seems counterproductive. Instead of reducing teenage pregnancies, this might encourage them to experiment more.

Why not implement laws that hold parents accountable for their children's actions? Providing explicit knowledge and exposure to children seems like we're tolerating, if not encouraging, them to engage in such activities. If they were more aware of the consequences, perhaps they would think twice before acting.

Again, this is just me. I'm not into politics; I'm just thinking of humane ways to deal with these kinds of topics.

for everyone who has job not related to their college program, how did you do it?

My boyfriend, Luke, comes from a well-off family while I grew up under quite different circumstances, raised by my single mother in a modest trailer. Despite that, I've managed to start my own tech company and have become fairly successful. Luke, on the other hand, works as a software engineer in an entry-level position, earning far less than me. He's a real charmer though—always courteous, showering me with gifts, and insisting on picking up the bill when we dine out. His job isn't as demanding as mine, so he's also taken on most of the household chores and cooking, which doesn't seem to bother him at all.

I must say, my appearance can be a bit showy. My golden hair is usually enhanced with extensions, and my eyelashes are artificially lengthened. I've gotten a few cosmetic touch-ups, regularly use spray tans, and my wardrobe is filled with chic outfits and flashy jewelry. I've been endowed with a naturally ample bust, which might paint a typical "gold digger" picture when contrasted with my background and Luke's affluent upbringing, even though I self-fund all my glamorous modifications.

Recently, I was introduced to Luke's parents, who he described as quite conservative and traditional. He advised me to tone down my usual style and opt for a more modest look for our first meeting. Taking his advice, I chose a knee-length dress and wore only a simple necklace that Luke gifted me previously. Initially, everything seemed fine until his parents probed into my family background. Upon learning about my roots, their attitude shifted. Luke's mom, Tammy, inquired about my necklace, and when I explained that it was from Luke, his dad, Roy, remarked snidely, "Perhaps he bought your breasts too!" and erupted into laughter—a sentiment worryingly shared by Luke. Disheartened, I forced a nervous laugh.

The discussion carried on rather tensely until Luke excused himself briefly. Tammy then pulled me aside, accusing me bluntly of being a 'white trash gold digger' determined to snatch Luke's wealth. I couldn't help but laugh it off, informing her that if I were after money, Luke wouldn’t be my choice given that I am the higher earner. Confused, she demanded an explanation, so I showed her my company's website with my professional profile. Both she and Roy were taken aback. Rather than apologizing, they pulled Luke back into the discussion to chastise him for not being the main breadwinner. I decided it was time to leave.

Leaving their house, I expected Luke to appreciate my intervention, but instead, he accused me of undermining him by revealing my higher income to his parents, whom he had already described as conventional. I reminded him that they started the disrespect, even sharing in it, yet he felt I should have just tolerated their behavior. We ended up deciding to give each other some space to think things over. So, after all that, I'm left wondering: am I the asshole here?

On a side note, imagine if this debacle played out on reality TV. The public might well have been sympathetic, watching someone defend themselves against unfair judgment. Or perhaps the audience would praise me for not conforming to the misplaced gold digger label? Reality TV thrives on confrontation and unexpected revelations, after all.

I'm curious, what do people generally think?

Hi everyone,

I’m very confused and I don’t know what to do. I have deteriorating mental health, and I also try to find the best in others and I always have so much empathy for others. I always care so much about other people and I take it towards myself to help them, even though it doesn’t concern me. Due to recent experiences, I now see just how easy I make it for people to take advantage of me. My boyfriend and I have been together for around a month. We are young, and we fell for each other fast, and we fell for each other hard. We are very similar in some ways, but different in others. When we first got together, I thought I was so lucky to have him. He came into my life when I was the most desperate, and he turned out to be so sweet and loving, I thought he could have been the best guy I could ever ask for. He seemed to always care about how I feel, he wanted to make me feel like the best girl in the world. I like to express my thoughts in writing, and I’ve written so so many messages about how much I love and appreciate him and all that he does for me. But naturally, sometimes we make playful sarcastic jokes. I’m okay with it! I know he’s joking, because I know he loves me. He and I used to worry I wouldn’t remember that due to my crippling self doubt and low self esteem, but now I’m thinking, he’s the one who needs to be reminded! Naturally, he’s a teenage boy, and he has a huge ego while also being super insecure. Anytime I say something that slights threatens his sense of superiority, he switches up on me. He acts as if I didn't write or say every kind word I’ve ever wrote or said, and instead makes me feel like I’m a horrible person (My biggest fear is being a horrible person) over a simple joke. Jokes he says to me all the time. Usually, these misunderstandings clear up quickly as we communicate, but yesterday, it was more than I could handle.

I made a joke in a group chat about how he didn’t want to go on a date with me. Thats already one thing, It’s not even that he couldn’t, he tells me all the time he is free all the time, he complains about not being able to see me, makes me feel terrible about it, and when I finally make an opportunity I’m content with, he simply didn’t want to go out with me yesterday. Immediately I apologized for what I said, I knew he found jokes like that hurtful and I deeply regretted what I said. I broke down. He didn’t handle his anger very well, especially when he knew I would get upset, almost as if he wanted me to get so upset - but that can’t be true, it won’t be true. Because all he tells me all the time is how much he loves me, how he wants me to get better, and I don’t think he would ever want to jeopardize that. He started with texting me “its fine, I don’t want to talk anymore, go to bed”. Typically, I would immediately give him the attention he so deeply wanted, and I would’ve began trying to fix things, when he hasn’t even apologized to me yet, he wrote : “i get you’re sorry, but I’m still mad, so just forget about it, maybe I’ll be more forgiving tomorrow, i dont care so you shouldn’t either”. I think we both knew how truly both of us cared a lot. Fortunately, I was too busy breaking down to my mom and sister and I left him on read. That’s an important detail because he saw how I wasn’t immediately giving attention like usual, and so he kept going. And it made me feel so so much worse. He texted a paragraph about how he didn’t understand why he acts in such ways, how much I deserve better than him, I should just leave him, he hates himself and he wishes he was a good person. He has never been so vulnerable with me, and I really appreciated that, and I really wanted to help change his mind - but my mom and my sister thought differently. They showed me how this is another desperate attempt to manipulate me into making him feel better about himself. If he truly cared about how I felt, he would’ve broken up with me, but instead he wanted to make me make the decision, because he knew I would never have it in me to leave him. Sometimes, he genuinely treats me unfairly and it so mentally exhausting. Where my mom and I see differently is that I believe he wants to change, and my mom believes he will never change. Because guess what, after spewing all of that, and again I read it but didn’t reply, he switched up AGAIN. He was very sorry, he wrote how grateful he was for me and how badly he wants to make it up to me and how much he loves me. Maybe it’s the manipulation and love bombing thats manipulating me once again, but this gives me hope that he truly does care, and he wants to change for me, and he wants to become a better person. And I want

to help him, I want to grow with him, no matter how draining it could get. My mom and sister and I came up with a straight forward simple reply. Addressing the overreaction, how his reaction manipulates me and makes me feel, and how I wish he could react differently since it is unhealthy for both of us. We’ve resolved the moment and the harsh feelings, but I don’t know how to go about this today. He replied thanking me for my honesty, and how much he wants to get better for me. I want to give him a chance.

I think I’ve decided that I will, and I want to grow as people together,

Can anyone give me suggestions on how to go about this today? This all happened last night, and I want to confront him today morning. Either beginning of the day or second half

Of the day.

It's been two years since I lost my wife, Lily, in a tragic accident caused by a drunk driver. The pain of losing her has fragmented my life into pieces I'm still struggling to put together. My family, however, seems to remain oblivious to the depth of my grief. In fact, they never entirely embraced my marriage to Lily from the start.

In our family, there’s a tradition concerning a cherished necklace that is handed down to women upon marriage. It’s been in our family for many generations, and when Lily and I married, my grandmother entrusted it to me. This gesture was deeply meaningful as it symbolized some level of acceptance of my marriage to Lily. However, since Lily's death, my sister Emma, who always seemed to be the favored one, has set her sights on this necklace. She’s getting married soon and casually mentioned that since I am "no longer married," it should now be her turn to have it.

A recent family dinner escalated these tensions. During discussions about her upcoming wedding, Emma jokingly suggested that I should date one of her fiancé’s friends, adding insensitively that at least Lily wouldn’t be around to ‘haunt’ me. I was stunned into silence. Afterward, I expressed how hurt I was, and Emma dismissed my feelings, accusing me of being overly sensitive and urging me to "lighten up." She even suggested I entertain a fling with one of her bridesmaids who had shown interest in me during my marriage, completely disregarding my ongoing grief.

I stated plainly that I couldn’t attend her wedding if she persisted in diminishing Lily's memory and my grief. This led to a severe argument where Emma labeled me as "dramatic" and accused me of trying to ruin her wedding over a "small joke." My parents sided with her, reiterating that I should attend the wedding to support Emma and that the necklace should go to her as I was not "using it" anymore.

Since that evening, I've received unrelenting calls and messages from my parents, Emma, and her fiancé Luke, all painting me as selfish and stuck in the past. Luke even implied that I should be thankful the family has accepted me at all, given that I am gay—a remark that hints at their barely veiled tolerance rather than acceptance.

Am I really being unreasonable by considering not attending the wedding? I feel torn between standing up for my late wife's dignity and my grief, or just conforming to keep peace within the family. Sometimes I wonder how all this would be perceived if it were part of a reality show. Would spectators at home understand my pain, or would they too be swayed by the drama and the pressure of societal norms that often dictates moving on quickly from grief?

Sorry for any typos – it's tough to keep it together and typing this out after a few drinks to dull the pain of not just Lily’s absence but the rift within my family. Should I relent to keep the peace, or stand firm in honoring my late wife and my feelings? What would others do?

Why do i feel attached to people who hurt me? So like, i have this friend, whom i considered one of my few close friend, i told him i was bi, he was fine with it, but after a yew years he suddenly just texted me smth like "i hate people who's being special on purpose" "if you weren't bi you would be more special" "instead of posting art why not focus on getting a scholarship", honestly this hurts me a lot, i blocked him but for some reason a part of me wants to unblock him and still text him- like i miss him but i hate him idkkkkk- i also made friends with someone, i liked them a lot even tho they told me how to hrm myslf and took pictures of me even tho i told them dont, which made me uncomfortable, so why did i feel so sad and lonely when they were gone?

So there is this guy in my class that i am friends with. He says he has dated a lot of girls (16 girls to be exact). And i have only dated 1 guy ever before. So while i don't like that he is a so called playboy, Idk why but i still like him.

We used to spend a lot of time together cause he is in my class and we also live in the same building. and one night he got icecream for us so we went on the terrace and sat together eating it.

So he initiated all of this by getting the icecream, eventually we both said we liked each other and then we even kissed (full blown makeout session actually)

All of this meant a lot to me as it is my first time at it. This continued for like a week, he "lovebombed" me. We even went on two movie dates. It was all like too good to be true types. It was very perfect to me, so i started really really liking this guy.

And well he basically stopped talking to me abruptly. And that has left me all heartbroken and clueless. Like why would he himself initiate the spark, tell me that he likes me, do all these nice things for me, and then just leave?

I don’t know how people do it. Like, just live without constantly feeling like they’re behind on everything. I spent years studying, working my ass off to get a degree, telling myself it would all be worth it in the end. But now that I’m finally starting my career, I feel like I missed everything else. I see people my age who are already settled, married, some even have kids, and here I am—just getting started, but already exhausted. I don’t even know if I made the right choices anymore. I wanted this, right? A good job, stability, a future. But what’s the point if I have no one to share it with? Every day, I wake up, go to work, come home, eat alone, sleep, and do it all over again. And yeah, I know, “It takes time,” “You’re still young,” blah blah blah. But when does it actually start feeling good? When does it stop feeling like I’m just surviving instead of living?

The worst part is, I want a family. I want love, I want kids, I want a home filled with something real. But it feels like an impossible dream now. Dating is a joke. Either guys don’t take me seriously, or they’re already settled with someone else. And then there’s the career part—if I do find love, if I do get pregnant, what happens to my job? I worked too hard to lose everything just because I want a family. But I also don’t want to wake up at 45 and realize I waited too long, that I let my best years slip away because I was too scared to make a move. I see women balancing it all, and I wonder how the hell they do it. I can barely keep myself together, let alone raise a whole child. And what if it never happens? What if I really do end up alone forever? No husband, no kids, just a job that doesn’t care if I exist outside of my work email. The thought of that keeps me up at night, makes my chest feel tight, makes me wonder if this is just how life is supposed to be for me. And if it is? Then depression sucks.

And what makes it worse? The fact that no one really gets it. People say “just put yourself out there” like it’s that easy, like I can magically force myself to meet the right person when I barely even have the energy to get through the day. They tell me to “enjoy being single”, but what if I don’t? What if I don’t want to spend my weekends third-wheeling my married friends or pretending to have fun at social events just to feel like I belong somewhere? I keep scrolling through pictures of people my age, smiling with their babies, celebrating anniversaries, moving forward in life, while I feel completely stuck. And the worst part is, I don’t even know how to fix it. I can’t just quit my job to chase love, and I can’t force love to happen just because I want it to. So what am I supposed to do? Just wait? Just keep hoping something changes while I feel like I’m running out of time? Because right now, it feels like no matter what I do, I’m always too late for everything that actually matters.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Some of you may think it's absurd, others maybe not. It's something that eats at me every time I'm using (drugs), but it's very important for my life. People, I need you to give me a site where I can hack my Gmail. Do you know why?

Because I keep the nicest memories of my life there: photos of my mother who died, photos of my baby daughters, important things I need to recover — and it won't let me access them because it asks for two things I don't have: an email that the person who hacked me set up, and a phone number that doesn't exist. I have no way to recover it.

And do you know what's my outlet?

That I can't remember my daughters when they were little — I don't have a single photo. I have more things with my mom and my grandmother who passed away and only the results are there. They're very important and when I'm in this situation I go crazy.

Any solution? Any help?

Anything that can point me in the right direction?

It's not illegal — it's just something I want to recover because I'm going to live my whole life wondering what those people were like back then….

I don't know where to start, but it feels heavy, and it always happens quite sometimes now. Am I the problem? Am I the bad daughter? Please enlighten me and give me some advice, I'm a working student, I work at the university, and in exchange, I'm only paying my tuition fee of 1,000. So that's why I can't no longer help with the house chores anymore, but I will help once I get the free time. Sometimes I do all of our laundry on Sunday so that I can at least help. But I think it wasn't enough because all of what I heard from my mother is always nagging and telling me that I no longer help with the house chores, and now I'm lazy. It feels heavy right now because my mother and I is fighting as a while ago

Hi, call me sumaya. i have been struggling with my mh since year7, my teachers dont listen to me and i feel like that no one likes me and there is no point to life, i have been cutting and cutting and i js feel like doing it even if im 1month clean. i js hate my life and i always get bullied and teachers always think i "i kick off" well no, i am at my breaking point and all of the teachers dont like me and i js hate me, my timeout pass got taken away and all my support is going down the drain. and my wellebing is all scenes when it isnt. if its other ppl they mollycoddle them and i js wanna be loved and have friends and leave that skl.. i wanna be alone./ i have no friends and no one likes me. i am a nobody.