Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

So boom, got a boyfriend, very in love with me, missing me, texting everyday, great intimate moments, sweet all rounded guy. Tho lately, these past couple of days, he's been distant. Then he told me he's bipolar, like diagnosed. Now I was questioning, did he get with me out of mania? I was searching online about people with bipolar and things like "they could cheat or break up with you during an episode" or "they say certain things that aren't logical and you just need to go along with it" and " you can try your best to support but you can't love bipolar away, if you do, your words will go in one ear and out the other, if you're with someone who has bipolar then you'll likely need a therapist" and scary shit like "the disorder will get worse and worse, if they don't take care of it, it will mess with the brain, death."

Then I was like okay, I know he has this, it's okay that he's distant but I was still worried. It hurts but it was also apart of the relationship. I think I'm a very justice-oriented person, hard for me to leave hurt people alone to fend for themselves. I was pouring the best I could into him with support and care, but it all seems kinda useless as sometimes he didn't respond or gave a bit of a dry response which caused me to overthink, like if I did something wrong. That's not all of who he is tho, he's a very great guy, I wanna say the greatest guy I know (I have a past with bad men in general whether family or guys online.) I will add I'm 18 and he's a year older.

Currently? Idk why but he unfriended me and unfollowed me on two separate apps. He didn't say anything, the last thing he said to me was that I was handsome and other kind stuff. Obviously, I've been pretty sad, he really healed me and I loved him, even tho I didn't really realize it because it's not like it's been that long. Tho I'm left wondering, could it be the depressive episode he's in? I searched online and saw stuff like "bipolar ghosting or how interacting can just be exhausting for them." Did he stabilize and realize he didn't wanna be with me and regret everything?

Ughh why did he have to do it so close to Valentine's day, this is embarrassing for me to get dumped like this if that's even the case.

I'm really alone again, he really did make me happy. It's a different type of happiness, like wow I have someone to do things with and we enjoy each other's company.

I also just feel like my family hates me, they didn't say anything and I didn't do anything but I feel like I would be better off gone. It doesn't help that I still have this ugly hairstyle on my head, everyone is telling me to wait it out. Times like this, I wanna do something drastic and impulsive, killing myself would be the most but I'll try to do something more tame. I don't really see anything improving and even if I tried, it wouldn't help as I see this far. I haven't been this close to killing myself, usually it's just passively but now I feel I could actually do it, my next step is figuring out how and writing a letter. Since I'll be doing this, I'll do some impulsive decisions before. I do kinda wanna wait and kill myself at 20 as I feel emotions would hit the most but that's too long. I think I'll probably just be dedicating this year to planning ways to get off this planet. People don't take suicidal people seriously until they're dead anyways so it will allow me to stop whining and just skip to the part where people suddenly care. Don't get me wrong, I try to take care of myself, working out, having hobbies, trying to get out there, putting myself out there, brushing my teeth, showering but none of that can get rid of my mental illness, it seems to be getting worse and just coming back again am again for however long, from either a few days or weeks or hours. I don't expect people here to know how to help me as I know it's a complex and hard problem that I probably should be in a psych ward for. This is just kinda my letter.

Thank you for anyone who reads all this 🩷🖤 Happy Valentine's Day! Remember that this is a day for love of any kind, not just romantic. c:

so I'm bisexual and have been for a bit and last year I made friends with people and I really liked them and we got along well kinda I never really talked and was always left out but after a while around January of 2024 I found out they were calling me a F@ggot and a queer and I was forcing them to be my friend and I was weird and it took a toll on my already bad mental health and I stopped talking to them but then they acted like they have never met me and they didn't sh!t talk me

2/2/25 3:19am

I have so much to say although no understanding of where to start.

Recently I've become overwhelmed with a sense of boredom, somber, longing, pain, etc.

I've been thinking about my father, what would it be like to have a relationship with him

to have cherish-able memories of him, instead I'm left with nothing maybe a few pictures

even with 2yr old me in his arms. You know i didn't realize how much having a dead father

would affect me or if it had a take on me at all, it does. Every moment of everyday I'm left with

thoughts such as "if he was here what would be different?" "though he's dead is he proud of me?" "do you love me still? after all of my mistakes, wrong doings, lessons?"

I feel sick each time i talk to her about it, my mother... I remember one time i had brought him up

i had said i missed him but you know, she misses him more because that was her first love her soulmate, i was just a baby i didn't have anything, not a clue.

I lost my dad but she lost her soulmate, i refuse to argue or to even bring it up i don't even bring up his name anymore, what's the point? nothing is going to change and I'll never get what i need...what i need.

I feel guilty, sick, torn. I have Tim, Tim is like my father...the one i never had right....

he's been around since i was a baby took the parental role when my dad died.

I feel sick yearning for my dad when i have him, Tim.

I feel disgusted with myself entirely, i have an increasingly difficult time reaching out to anyone

family, friends. Papa, Tim he lives by himself my mom and brothers were with him at some point but he's alone now

he does so much for everyone and i wish i could be there with him so he'd never discover what loneliness is.

My mom and papas relationship is complex, honestly not my business and i don't wanna go on a full lore drop about our timeline, maybe another night.

It had seemed the day papa came home years ago, found my mom with an other man he left and nothing has been the same. For a long time things seemed to go down hill, maybe because i haven't taken my meds in two months that i feel like this. I dislike that i still get emotional over things i thought i healed from, but why am i lying? i know i haven't healed matter of fact i don't know how or where to start or if it's even possible, will i feel like this, think like this forever?

will i always struggle so hard? will i always need artificial happiness?

Some thing's I've realized over these few years is that I'm not tims daughter, i never will be, he accepts me cause I'm not the "ghetto hood rat" black girl I'm "whitewashed" apparently. they've worked to destroy and invalidate my skin color and culture, I've learned I'll never have a true significant meaning to any of my family because of different in every aspect, I'm the black sheep in a field of grey and i have to learn to be okay with that.

I know this is a drastic topic change but universe please give me a knowing sign, i need something I'm hurting so bad and i don't understand. I don't wanna be mean and quick to anger anymore...i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. I'm so sorry.

I need help so bad.

I feel like vomiting i haven't been eating much recently, pushing back tears, i feel so pathetic i can't show my feelings to anyone without feeling sick and it seems that nobody likes me, what's wrong with me? am i annoying maybe to much or even not enough? why? why does nobody like me? am i not interesting or worth anyone's time? am i not deserving?

I wanna hurt myself it feels so good, so familiar its been a habit since i was 10 and i don't know if i can stay clean much longer.

Although I'm hurting and shit i can acknowledge my growth through this journey, though in some aspects I've also gotten worse or even fallen back.

I don't wanna die but fuck, it's like every time I'm suicidal it hurts so good and when I'm content and stable I'm on edge, waiting for something to happen mourning the temporary "loss" of my usual somber mindset and body language.

Its a cycle I'm slowing learning to break but sometimes i don't want to break it, i want to live in it bathe in it.

I want to tell my mom and crawl into her lap and sob till my hearts content, but no amount of crying can ease my pain, no amount of comfort, and I've learned that my problems will never sum up to anything because nothing I've been through is severe enough it'll all never be valid.

I think I'll always be this way, though i have much fortune that I'll never overlook I'll still always be this difficult, angry, and sad person who can't grasp anything, I'll always be the being who can't react without emotion and hurt.

I miss you dad

I share an apartment with two roommates, Mia and Nora. Living in our city is incredibly costly, and the only way we could afford to stay here was by splitting the rent for a three-bedroom apartment. None of us could manage on our own, and even a two-bedroom would have been too much.

Mia and I were both single when we moved in, while Nora was dating a guy named Max. He's the quiet, tidy type who even chips in for utilities since he's over quite often.

Recently, Mia began seeing Leo, who is a mutual friend of Nora and Max. Leo has made some uncomfortable comments towards me including remarks about my weight and inappropriate sexual questions. When I brought it up to Mia, she brushed it off saying he was just trying to be friendly. Nora and Max echoed her sentiment, attributing it to his bizarre sense of humor.

The tension escalated last week when I overheard Mia and Leo in the apartment's only bathroom, which happens to share a wall with my bedroom. It was clear they were intimate, and they left the shower in a mess. Nora was away visiting her parents, so the responsibility of cleaning fell on me.

I tried discussing my discomfort with Nora upon her return, hoping she’d understand. However, she's not one to confront issues, and she casually mentioned that now Mia knows how I feel, she probably wouldn't repeat her actions. Despite her reassurance, I felt she didn't grasp the seriousness of the situation. Since then, I've been distancing myself from Mia and Leo.

My relationship with Mia has deteriorated, and Nora’s neutrality seems to inadvertently support Mia, which makes me feel isolated. Considering all this, I thought about moving out. We had renewed our lease for another year right before I met Leo, and according to our estate agent, I couldn't break the lease unless there was a contract violation.

Feeling trapped, I revisited our lease agreement and found a clause stating that only registered tenants could reside in the flat for extended periods. I used this to argue that Mia’s boyfriend staying over was a breach, citing a corresponding increase in our utility bills as proof.

This move allowed me to legally exit the lease. However, it led to an unexpected outcome: the landlord decided to evict Mia and Nora for violating the lease terms. They were upset, claiming I had blindsided them and left them scrambling to find new accommodation by month's end. Fortunately, I can move back with my parents who live about an hour and a half away, but Mia and Nora don't have that option since they're from another city.

I never wanted them to be evicted; all I wanted was to remove myself from an uncomfortable living situation. But when ongoing issues are dismissed, and there’s a clear lack of communication, drastic measures sometimes become the only solution.

Imagine if this whole ordeal was captured on a reality TV show. The drama, the confrontations, and these pivotal decisions would certainly make for riveting television. Viewers might sympathize with the unbearable living conditions I had to endure or vilify me for my actions leading to my roommates' eviction. The dynamic and responses would be unpredictable yet intensely engaging.

At 25 years old, and working as a waitress in a fairly upscale restaurant in the city, I've had my share of peculiar experiences, but nothing quite as jarring as my encounter last night. A young couple was seated in my area, and from the get-go, the atmosphere felt uneasy. The woman shot me sharp glares, while her companion was more focused on my appearance, giving me uncomfortable smiles.

While taking their drink orders, the man engaged flirtatiously, inquiring about my favorite drinks and complimenting my taste. His girlfriend, however, seemed dismissive and rudely snapped her order at me. Things escalated when I returned with their drinks; the man made inappropriate contact by brushing his hand against my thigh under the guise of an accident. As I reacted in shock, the woman accused me of behaving provocatively.

I was appalled and told them sternly they needed to settle their bill for the drinks and leave. I firmly believe that the mantra "the customer is always right" has its limits, especially when respect is compromised. My manager, on hearing the commotion came over. I explained the situation, only for the couple to claim they were merely acting out a jealousy role-play they thought I would be complicit in – which was bewildering and unacceptable.

Expecting support from my manager, I was instead taken aside and told it was a 'misunderstanding' and not to cause a scene. Feeling undervalued and harassed, I realized my manager was reluctant to take action, a pattern I had noticed before. Driven by frustration, I left the premises and even decided not to show up the following night.

This morning, my manager expressed his disappointment over a text, critiquing my leaving the team understaffed and failing to close my section properly. While some co-workers are sympathetic, others, shockingly, think I should be flattered by such attention, conflating harassment with desirability.

Had this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, I wonder how it would have been perceived by the public. Reality shows often amplify personal interactions for dramatic effect, so perhaps my confrontation might have been edited to either vilify or vindicate me depending on the storyline they wished to push. It’s curious how different the public reaction might be under those circumstances, with some viewers possibly siding with the couple or the manager, while others might support my stance on harassment and professionalism.

Am I wrong in my reaction to this situation?

I'm currently 22, turning 23 soon, and I'm in my fifth year of undergrad. Each summer, my family embarks on extensive trips in their camper, and this year, we rendezvoused during their travels. From the outset, my relationship with my father was strained; he barely spoke to me, which I initially attributed to problems he had with his truck during their journey.

After spending a few days together, my mom mentioned their plan to remodel their basement into a one-bedroom apartment. The idea was partly to provide me with rent-free living space and partly to enhance the property’s value. Given my tumultuous year with housing—having had to move three times due to disagreements with roommates, issues with past girlfriends, and troublesome landlords—my parents suggested this basement apartment as a solution. They presented it as a way to ease my financial burdens and curb the ongoing stress. Unlike my brother, who seems to excel in following their guidance and is pursuing a high-paying major, I've chosen to become a music teacher, a path that doesn’t promise substantial financial rewards. Additionally, my secret continuation of smoking weed, which they caught me doing years ago, and their incessant unsolicited advice and opinions, have only widened the gap between us.

I expressed my reluctance to move into the basement, citing the constant familial conflicts and my desire for independence. Having always felt overshadowed by my parents, especially since my father was also my high school science teacher, I’ve struggled to carve out my own identity. This historical backdrop intensifies my current resolve.

Predictably, my decision was met with disappointment. My parents think I’m making a financial mistake by not moving back. Despite juggling a full-time job as a restaurant manager and my studies, I find this scenario less damaging to my mental health compared to living with them. I’m tackling some credit card debt, but it’s manageable with a few months of dedicated work. Their continued attempts to monitor my phone, control my banking, and pay for my education make me feel boxed in. Any resistance from my side seems to position me as the ungrateful, rebellious family member.

Imagine if this whole dynamic was unpacked on a reality TV show. The cameras would likely amplify our family tensions, portraying a dramatic generational clash over independence and control. Viewers might sympathize with my struggle for autonomy, or they might side with my parents, viewing their interventions as caring, albeit overbearing. The added pressure and public scrutiny could either force a resolution or deepen the rift, making for compelling television but an unnerving personal experience.

In our home, we have a total of three bathrooms. The primary one is situated just outside our living area, another is linked to our master bedroom, and a small one is located in the utility hallway. Consistently, my husband chooses to use the main bathroom for his post-dinner bathroom time, typically when the house is bustling with activity. This bathroom is not just close to the living area, but it’s also equipped with the only bathtub in our home which we need to use for the kids’ baths right after dinner.

The issue here is not just that I can sometimes hear the sounds of him using the bathroom, but also the lingering odor that fills the space where the children are to be bathed right afterward. Considering we have two additional bathrooms he could use, this has become a point of contention.

Before moving into this house, the smaller bathroom in the utility hallway had been designated as the "poop bathroom" at his previous residence, complete with a special stool just for that purpose. Despite this arrangement carrying over, he now opts for the children's footstool in the main bathroom instead. Despite my numerous pleas for him to change his bathroom of choice, he brushes off my concerns, believing I am making a big deal out of nothing. He insists on the freedom to choose any bathroom, regardless of the timing or the practicality of such an action.

I find it quite inconsiderate to occupy the main bathroom right when it’s nearly time for the kids’ baths and bedtime routine. Who really wants to brush their teeth and bathe in a bathroom that’s just been used for such purposes?

Considering how he shrugs off my requests, am I wrong for continually bringing up this issue and pressing him to use one of the other bathrooms?

Imagining this scenario being discussed on a reality TV show, envision the drama and audience reaction! Viewers would likely be split, with some empathizing with my desire for cleanliness and order, while others might chuckle at what they would see as a trivial marital spat blown out of proportion. Hosts and fellow contestants might weigh in, drawing from their own experiences, making it a memorable and relatable discussion point for an episode.

Should I keep asking my husband to change bathrooms?

I'm proud to be gay. In this era of social media, heightened awareness, and AI, I've found that finding love is harder than ever. I've been hit with multiple rejections from people I liked; sometimes I couldn't trust them, sometimes things moved too fast, and sometimes it was my own mistake.

I've always believed I will find my right partner, but I wonder if I'm being delusional. Recently, I really missed one guy, but he seemed not to care and cut off our conversation. I'm skeptical about whether I'll ever be able to find my true love. I hope the universe is listening; I'm always waiting for him.

So me and this girl have been talking on and off for about a year, to be specific within this year the reasons we've ended things we're she was over stressed by school, she didn't want to ask me to change and she felt like we were to different and I mean it's my fault for having my standards so low to even take her back because every time we ended things it's because she wanted to but about two and a half months ago she wanted to start talking again but just as friends, which is totally fine but what I was aware of is the fact she would be talking with other guys while talking with me. The way I found out is bc we work together and that's how we met and so we were on shift together just having fun laughing and then one of my friends walk in and I walk up to him calling him by his name bc this is one of my closest friends and like after our shift together she requests to follow him on Instagram and my friend texts me and he's like "do u know who this is" and I'm like "oh that's the girl I'm talking with, she prob heard me call u by your name while at work" and yk I fully trusted this girl so I thought she just followed him bc he was my friend and no other reason but then I started telling her about it and when I told her about the part of me saying that's the girl I'm talking with she blows up in my face and is like "what right do you have to put labels on us, I followed him because she caught my eye and you have no right to interfere" but like I was under the impression that we were fully just trying to work things out between us and it's not like we've just been friends per say I mean litterally the day before she was talking about how jacked I am, and the day before how cute I am and then the day before saying she was shaking because I almost saw her without makeup and then like a week before that saying she was concerned that it seemed like I didn't like her anymore

and like what am I meant to do? I liked this girl so much but I can't just take that laying down right? and I mean I haven't talked to her since but I have to see her at work on Sunday

I just need some advice on the whole situation, maybe I'm being over dramatic and I'm wrong but I feel like I'm being an idiot.

Me and my best mate Mark have been friends since high school, so for over 10 years now. A girl named Sarah joined our friend group and hung out with us quite a bit. I started to like her, but so did he. About a month after we met her, he told me that he liked her. I tried to wingman him while continuing to shut out my emotions as I've done since a very traumatic year that I went through. He continued trying to talk to her without much success for a few months/a year. She went on a trip to America and started to talk a lot with me, and we got to know each other quite well.

At this point, I still emotionally distanced myself from her since I knew he liked her. While she was in America, I got asked out on a date by another girl and suddenly started going through a lot of emotions I hadn't felt in a long time and realized that I actually got butterflies when Sarah talked to me. I started talking to her a lot more and she helped me buy new clothes when she came back from America. I talked to Mark to ask if he was still trying with her, and he said he had mixed feelings.

Me and Sarah made plans to go to the beach today and while we were there, we started talking. I got caught up in the moment and asked her if she would like to try dating. She said yes. Later that night, I wanted to be clear with my friend about what happened and that I was going to start dating Sarah. He got really pissed and hung up, and now I feel like an asshole. I wanted to get an outside opinion on if I actually was an asshole. Sorry for the rant, and I already have an idea of what the answer is but want to know your thoughts.

If I was on a reality show, I wonder how the reaction would be. Would people think I'm a backstabber or just a guy who followed his heart? How would the audience judge this situation?

For context, I am a 7th grade student, just adding this because it adds more depth to the story. In class today, my friend told me when I bent over to see what my friend was doing on her desk which was right next to mine, my friend told me (who was near by my desk and Joeys) a boy behind me (Joey) was staring at me; in the wrong places. I sat back down after my friend said that, kinda disturbed but was paranoid if it really did happen. I stood up again, and did it again just to test the waters which was obviously a bad idea. I think I caught him staring, but I’m not exactly sure. I’m not exactly an attractive girl and this boy is innocent and really stupid (there’s clearly girls in that class which was more attractive than me) which leaves me to doubt what that he did it. You know that thing where you kneel on your chair? My female friend next to me did it and I think he stared again.

It made me feel uncomfortable, but for some reason seriously doubt he did it, am I paranoid?

Some mornings I just sit at the edge of the bed and stare at the wall, not even sure why I’m getting up again. I’m 32 years old, got 3 kids who depend on me, a husband who doesn’t see me anymore, and a life that feels like it’s already over even though I’m still breathing. Everything feels like a loop—make breakfast, clean up, laundry, grocery shopping, break up the kids’ fights, smile when I don’t mean it, pretend like I care when inside I’m screaming. I used to have dreams, I used to want more. I can’t even remember what those dreams were anymore. Somewhere between baby bottles and birthday parties, I lost me. My husband comes home, says "how was your day" with no real interest, stares at his phone, and falls asleep before I even finish my sentence. We don’t fight. We don’t talk either. It’s like we’re roommates that share responsibilities but not hearts. I don’t love him. I don’t even like him half the time. But I stay. For the kids, for the house, for the fear of what happens if I leave and fail. But deep down, I don’t even know what success would look like anymore. It’s like I’m living a life someone else chose for me, and I got stuck in it like mud.

I see people my age on social media living lives that look full. Traveling, working jobs they care about, falling in love, starting fresh. And I’m just here, stuck in a cycle that’s got no meaning left. I feel guilty even saying it out loud—because I have things. A house, healthy kids, food on the table. But I don’t have joy. I don’t have connection. I don’t have me. And that emptiness… it’s suffocating. I feel like I’m running on fumes, always pretending everything’s fine when nothing is. Sometimes I wonder, if I vanished, would anything change? Would they miss me or just miss the things I do? I don’t cry anymore, even when I want to. I just go numb. Day after day after day. I’ve tried to talk to people about it, but they always say, “You just need a break” or “It’s just a phase.” But what if it’s not a phase? What if this is it? What if life is just this endless line of chores and fake smiles and empty kisses from someone who doesn’t know the woman next to him is dying inside? I’m so tired. I’m tired of carrying it all. And worst of all, I’m tired of hoping something will change. Because it never does.

My best friend recently just changed out of nowhere and now I think she hates me. I asked her if she was fine when we were walking to class and she just snapped at me. And once I asked her to be in a group with us for a project with some other friends and she said yes so I was surprised that she wasn’t going with her other good friend and she was like “do you not want me in your group?” Am I js overthinking or does she not wanna be friends anymore?

I have about 4.6g of benadryl I'm prepared to take. Give me a reason not to. Not the stupid bullshit of "it'll get better" because it's not, my mental health is getting worse, my physical health is getting worse, and my thoughts have just been getting darker and darker. I'm stuck with my trauma, there's no getting around the ptsd, I can't get help for myself and when I try to reach out I just get told that I've gotten all the help they can give. The only other option really is getting committed but I would literally rather die than get committed and have to deal with everyone finding out + the costs. What reason do I have to live? I have my girlfriend but I just cause her more problems than the ones she already has, she's about it. My parents don't really care about me, and I use and manipulate my friends too much they'd be better without me being around.

My dad has been struggling through some mental health issues for a while and we have been doing our best to support him (my mother and my siblings ). However my younger sibling caught my dad cheating yesterday night as he was calling and texting with another lady. My parents have been married for around 30 years. I feel like throwing up. My dad isn’t a bad father, we always looked up to him because of his strong personality but none of us can even look at him now anymore. He keeps apologizing and keeps saying that he did it because of his mental health issues but what kind of an excuse is that? He broke all of our trust, we never expected this from him. How does one even cope with this? All we have been doing is crying and feeling numb the entire day. I feel so bad for my mom, we can’t even leave as we are financially dependent on him.

What a nice father’s day I guess.