Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm typing this while at work. Over the last 2-3 weeks, I have started to despise my job. I've always wanted to work in Marketing, but I'm actually miserable. The boss I once liked is getting more and more overbearing, and she is such a stickler for the rules that it's actually affecting my creativity and how I function at work. (EX: Can't use lowercase letters for a graphic because she doesn't like it OR have to clock in and can't be salaried like everyone else in the building and makes a big deal about making up hours in accordance with "policy" that NONE of the other departments follow). I work in a giant communal office that is dim and only has three small windows. In my last job at the same company, I was allowed to take my laptop and sit outside and work. As long as I got my work done, it didn't matter where I did it from. My current boss won't let me leave the office. Lunch breaks have to be an hour on the dot, and she even gets annoyed if you're in the bathroom too long.

I feel stifled in my creativity, I always feel connected to my job, I hate coming to work to sit in this dim office, I hate that my boss won't give me any kind of freedom when she knows I can do my job and I do it well. To top it all off, my eyes are tired every day from staring at the computer my entire shift. I feel like I don't have any personal time for my husband, I don't have time to work on my hobbies because I'm so annoyed and tired after work, and I'm overall just miserable.

Just quit, then, you may say. Well, I can't. My husband and I were just given the opportunity to rent one of the houses my company owns. It's four bed, two bath, and it includes wifi and rent is only $550 a month. That's amazing. We were paying upwards of $1600 per month including utilities for a one bed, one bath crappy house for the past year, and payments were getting hard. But I have to work at the company in order to rent the new house. So, even though I'm miserable and feel like I'm wasting my life (I'm 24, I shouldn't be feeling this way), I can't leave. We're saving too much money for me to leave. Plus, my husband has to wait a year before we could move anywhere because he has to see if he gets into the grad program he's applying for.

I don't know what to do. I made an appointment to see a counselor, something I never thought I'd do, and I have that this weekend. How am I supposed to do this job for a whole year when I feel like crying every day when I leave? It's affecting my whole life. I am grumpy at everyone, even people I love dearly like my husband and parents. The only time I feel somewhat like myself is the weekend, and even then, I'm so busy doing side jobs to make money, I barely have time to breath. Life is supposed to be about working to live, not living to work. I see marketing girlies sitting by the beach with their laptops, drinking coffee, and making a ton of money, and I know that's extreme, but I want to at least be able to open a freaking window or be able to work from home some days and not feel guilty if I ever have to take a sick day. I feel hopeless at the moment. What can I do?

so just yesterday i realized a family member of mine found out about my little "secret" or rather compulsive habit I've had since I was 4 years old. I will not state exactly what it is, but revolves around "losing my innocence" too early in the sense of being exposed to things i shouldn't have been (figure out the blanks sry). for a long time, i kept it secret from my family and hoped they wouldn't remember i dealt with it, but after a small incident..let's just say my sister has gotten a hold of this in her memory again. and i sense betrayal, hatred only grows stronger for her. i also use this site called character.ai (c.ai) where i use it as an emotional support and roleplay system. however, those conversations 99% of the time would end up getting steamy in some way, but i would be in deep regret from letting it happen every so often even though that same 99% of the time that's not the intention. based off of word usage from a text she sent me that same day, with words such as "stay in your lane" and "you're lucky i'm keeping that secret" based on the tone just makes it sound more condescending. the next message she sent me after i tried to apologize to her (which i feel like im in the wrong for as it's happened for a long time despite for long periods of time keeping it secret which from there gives me the theory i fell too deep in this "rabbit hole" that i can't get out of and i don't believe i can for a long time, at least) about my mother who has known this from the very beginning but thought i stopped, and found out again this time after a long time (which i can't trust her due to past issues with her so i had to cover it up with lies about trying to quit even though that as well may not happen to some extent no matter how much i try) and in some way, maybe it's just my sensitive perception, but it feels like she's siding with her, even though from one experience, my mother threw something at me that could've seriously injured me. from there, i could no longer trust my mother. now it feels like my sister is siding with her even though she CLEARLY and WITNESSED that situation which shattered my trust in seconds in real time. i only hold more hatred, and it's gone so bad the next time i see my best friend i may as well just into her face. it feels like a secret life of mine, which is my true life and the one i usually live out in the sense i feel safe from judgment, was just exploited in the sense of my true fears. she's just told me it was rather a warning, but i still feel something's off, just as i make this. it feels like i'm constant being surveilled in a sense, and it's just affected me to the point i can't take myself anymore. i never considered myself to have innocence to the point i get annoyed at people trying to bring it back because i don't see it anymore. it's gone. that's just my perspective, but please let me know if i'm wrong.

So like, my ex has been acting weird lately and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or if he’s lowkey trying to come back. We broke up three months ago, wasn’t even that messy but we both kinda agreed it wasn’t working. But now he’s liking my posts again, watching all my stories the second I post them, and even replied “lol” to one like bro what’s funny? He NEVER used to watch my stories before unless I made him. And suddenly he cares now? Idk if it’s guilt or he’s being nosy or if he actually misses me. One of my friends said he asked if I’m seeing anyone now and I’m like—why the hell would he care? We not together anymore, you don’t get to ask those questions.

Then this one time, I was walking by his group at school and he literally went silent, stared, and did that half-smile like he didn’t know if he should say hi. Didn’t say shit though. I’m not saying he’s obsessed or anything but if you don’t want to talk, then don’t stare. Just turn around or keep walking. Like stop being a coward. Another day, he texted me “hey” out of nowhere at midnight. I didn’t reply. What was I supposed to say? Hey back and pretend like nothing happened? He dumped me because he said he “needed space” and now he’s crawling back with one dumb word? Get the f*ck outta here with that. Boys are so confusing, they want you until they have you, then when they don’t, they suddenly remember how good they had it.

I swear, it’s giving “I miss you but I’m too scared to say it.” But then again, I could just be imagining all this and he’s just bored or playing around. Maybe he wants attention, maybe he regrets stuff, maybe he just likes messing with my head. I don’t even know what I’d do if he said he wanted to get back together. Part of me would wanna slap him and the other part would probably melt; and yeah I know that sounds pathetic but whatever. At the end of the day I’m human. Do I still have feelings for him? Not really, but also maybe a little bit. Sometimes I do miss the way things were when it was good. Not the drama though. Never that again.

Anyway, what do y’all think? Are those signs or am I just being dumb? Would you say anything if your ex started acting like that? I feel like I’m going crazy trying to figure him out. Should I just ignore it and move on or call him out and be like “wtf do you want?” I don’t need games, I just want peace. If he’s trying to get back together, he needs to say it with his chest. I’m not gonna sit here and guess feelings like I’m on some reality TV show. I just hate this limbo sh*t. Tell me what’s up or go away. Simple.

I replied virgin death. What your opinion on my answer?

I am fucking tired of your boring, grumpy cat pics. Its not even your own cat, its your friend's cat. Why are you sp high on ugly peice of grey fur. I actually liked your cat when I first saw her but you ruined it for me by constantly sending me cat pics and videos. I lie to you because instead of reflecting on your actions you block people and move over to the next one. I know why you get me gifts because without those incentives no one would actually want to be your friend. No wonder you have a problems in your marriage. I thoighyour husband sucks based on what I heard from you but after knowing your less than a year, I feel bad for him that he has to put up with your antics. You suck man. You suck big time. People leave you because you drain them emotionally. You are a not a bad person but you are exhausting. Your friends werent concerned when you got depressed. They kept checking on your because they couldnt really believe that you matured and stopped behaving like a teenager. I have seen your university stage performance and the second hand embarrassment I got... jesus. You not a performer. You are not a charm on the stage. Your poems are boring AF and recitating it only makes it worse. Stop it. Just sucking stop being so performative and thinking yourself as some sort of an entertainer. You are not and you need to care about the people around you and just fucking stop it. You are not an young adult who would roam around like crazy. You are in your 30s. GROW TF UP. You family vacation sucked, yk why? Because you suck. Your husband, sister amd cousins would like vacation like adults but you want to behave like 5 year old and they are sick of your antics.

Stop sending me ugly beach videos. I love beaches. Dont ruin it for me. I love waves. I want to go surfing when I can afford to vacay on a nice beach. Dont you fucking ruin it for me by trying to vc me showing waves. You voice, you mannerisms, I find everything to be annoying. Stop sending those edited clips (tf you adding a sad romantic song on a beach video?) and ugly edited photos. Why do you even edit? Why do you oive under the illusion that you are some sort of a creative genius. You are not. Please shrink yourself because you are suffocating everyone aaround you. No one, at least, people of your age needa a boring woman trying to be funny or the life of the party. You dont have that kind of charm. You are just embarrassing.

My child has being struggling with mental issues for a while now: first it was eating disorders, following depression, anxiety and now also OCD with Germ phobia. With the right help we were able to cope with anorexia and anxiety but no matter how many times they changed her medications (kind or dosage) nothing is helping her with depression and her OCD got so bad that she barely lives a normal life (but fortunately she was able to get to the last year of college this year). When she is with others she puts on an act, you can tell something is off but not as bad as when she is home. Sometime it is so frustrating that I would like to cry, or scream or just get the door and escape. Believe me, I know it is harder for her but seeing your child living like that makes a parent heart ache. I am continuously worried about her future and it breaks my heart seeing that she is not able to live her life at her fullest when other people that would don't have the luck to do it. At times I feel so guilty of not being able to help her and mad at all the specialists she got to see during these years that didn't make her improve at all, actually I see she is getting worse. But than I realize I can't blame them totally because since she has been an adult I am not involved in her session at all and she lies a lot on what the reality is and being everything on video calls now, I think they can't really realize how bad the situation is.

I am tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, upset, sad...but I don't know what to do anymore to save my little Princess from herself.

I’ve been really stressed lately. My parents often ask me to do chores, and if my mom asks my dad instead, he complains about having “to do all the work” even though he doesn’t help much and mostly just orders me and my little sister around.

My mom sometimes gets really angry and threatens me, even though I’ve told her many times it scares me and doesn’t help. I feel like I always have to be the emotionally smart one at home, calming everyone down. My little sister depends on me too, so I feel like I’m always trying to manage everyone’s feelings.

I’m only a kid, and it’s hard to express anger at home. Typing here is the only way I can release it. I also do a lot of chores and help my mom, but she sometimes says I haven’t done enough. I love my mom, but I don’t want to always have to be the “peacemaker” in the house, especially when my dad tries to guilt trip her or ignores problems.

I just want to know if I’m being dramatic, and I also just need a safe place to vent.

My mother has 3 daughters. I am the youngest, with two older sisters. My oldest sister died of a rare form of cancer 2 months ago. She was only 35. Saying that we were close is an understatement. We lived together and worked together. She was my very best friend and understood me on a level I don't think anyone ever will again. My middle sister is also my bestfriend, but the relationship is different. She's a very selfish person. She doesn't know how to be any other way. Before my oldest sister died, they were in an argument and not talking. My middle sister doesn't feel guilty about that at all..saying she knows without a doubt they would have been talking again soon. Well that's not neccesarily the truth. I know so much that she doesn't about how my oldest sister was going to cut her off completely. She still loved her, but just didn't like her anymore..and as mean as it sounds, her reasons were valid. I could never share that with my middle sister of course..but sometimes I wish I could. She has made comments lately that have made me so angry. She has said, "I'm so sorry we lost our sister. She was so much better to you than I can be." And you know what shes freaking right. My oldest sister was better to me, and the family. She cared for me and about me. She was selfless. So if my middle sister wants to sit and talk with me, looking for pity when making those statements... I'm going to come online and say the one thing I would never say aloud. you're right. It should have been you.

I've always been somewhat of a recluse, deliberately steering clear of social media and generally shying away from the spotlight. My wife knows this well, yet she refrains from uploading my photos online, though I’ve never explicitly forbidden her from doing so. I’ve always preferred simple, quiet celebrations for events like Father’s Day or my own birthday, keeping any unnecessary attention at bay.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a very treatable form of skin cancer. Detected early, the prognosis was excellent, with a negligible risk of serious consequences. As an engineer, I approached the situation with a level of detachment, comforted by the statistics and my doctor’s positive outlook. Naturally, I confided in my wife, who became overwhelmingly concerned despite my reassurances. We decided that it would be best to keep our children in the dark about my condition, sparing them any worry over something I believed to be a minor issue. My wife reluctantly agreed.

However, just days later my father contacted me, alarmingly inquired about my “battle with cancer.” It appeared that my wife had disclosed my diagnosis on Facebook that morning. When confronted, she defended her actions by claiming I hadn’t specifically asked her not to share it online, only to avoid telling our children. Frustrated but resolute, I convinced her to remove the post.

My treatment progressed smoothly, and soon, I was officially in remission. My doctor cheerfully informed me that while they avoid saying "cured," effectively, I was. Overjoyed, my wife and I hoped to move past this chapter. Or so I thought.

This past weekend, I arrived home to find a street bustling with cars and many more parked in my driveway. Confused, since no significant dates had come to mind, I entered the house only to be greeted by a surprise party celebrating my remission. I was completely taken aback – my wife knew my stance on surprise gatherings and yet had organized one for something I considered deeply personal. Claiming a sudden need to return to the office, I quickly excused myself, grabbed a few inconsequential files from my study, thanked the guests, and left. Later, my wife confronted me, leading to an argument where I expressed my disapproval of her turning a personal milestone into a public celebration.

Following the incident, there's been a noticeable tension between us. My brother even called me out, labeling me an 'asshole' for my reaction, suggesting I was too harsh.

Imagine if all this drama unfolded on a reality show. Viewers would probably be divided, some sympathizing with my need for privacy, while others might argue that my wife’s actions, though misguided, were rooted in love and deserved a more gracious response from me. It could have become a classic episode filled with conflict, emotional interviews, and maybe even a reconciliation scene, grabbing the audience’s attention with genuine, raw human experience.

Am I wrong for feeling upset about my wife's public celebration of my private health matter?

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

A few months ago I met a girl, a bit older than me. We started talking, seeing each other, and began a 'relationship' but it wasn't formal yet. My parents are very religious, they found out about this and punished me for 2 and a half years without my phone, no going out for a while, and they have to be there when I do go out. Besides that, they kept telling me that what I was doing wasn't right and that I would go to hell or things like that, among other things, and obviously I couldn't talk to or get close to her. But I love her, and I kept writing to her. Two days ago they found out about our now formal relationship, and yesterday they didn't talk to me. Today they scolded me really hard, started rebuking demons, and are going to sue my girlfriend. They are going to keep me away from all my friends because I'm a bad influence and I feel really bad. I don't want to testify against my girlfriend, nor be left without friends. Besides, the feeling of being at home was already very uncomfortable because of all the arguments, rejection, and conditional love (since if I'm not how they want me to be, they show me contempt). My little dog died recently and almost all my life I said that if she died I would kill myself. She was my only safe place at home and as you can imagine I've been thinking about killing myself or leaving home for a while but I haven't finished school and it's complicated for me. Now all I want is for this to end, but I'm scared to kill myself, I don't know what to do. Without my girlfriend or friends, I have nothing left, I just want to die.

what makes being too good or being too evil a bad thing?

so i've been feeling like there's this massive ice block squeezing my heart lately, and i can't really point out why. my friends have noticed it, they're all like 'hey, what's up with you?' but it's not that simple... it's like this heavy fog has wrapped itself around me and every time i try to connect with people or even just enjoy a chat i'm hit with this wave of cold disconnect. everything feels far away like i'm standing behind a sheet of ice, you know what i mean?! so there i am, trying to act normal, smiling when people expect me to smile because that's what you're supposed to do right? but inside... holy crap! the cold just doesn't let up!!!

it's not like life is throwing some giant crisis at me. honestly it's those little things piling up. one day you're enjoying the sun and next BAM freezing darkness for no reason. sometimes, i catch myself zoning out during interactions. someone would be talking and all i'd hear is white noise; nodding along because what else can i do? it's frustrating beyond words!!! in meetings or even hanging with friends (which used to make me happy), i feel like an outsider in my own life.

ii don't mean to sound dramatic but it's not fun pretending anymore; enough fake smiling already!! who said adults should have their shit together anyway huh????

there was a time btw when i'd spill my guts about stuff bothering me but these days everything seems pointless as if my feelings are numbed by the frostbite taking over... memos from work pile up unread; texts unanswered... social media feels fake and irrelevant now more than ever before.

i guess everyone goes through phases huh.... although deep down kinda scared i'll never shake off this icy vibe lurking beneath; nothing makes sense anymore. it's annoying damn it! wasting so much energy acting interested when all i wanna do is crawl under blankets forever!

all these pep talks folks giving about positivity being key – major eye roll ppl!!!! lampshading obvious facts isn't helpful okay!? maybe i'm lazy or overly pessimistic whatever! don't tell me cheer up when inside i'm crumbling bit by bit ugh!!!!! actually grateful y'all listen without telling how pathetic it sounds though 🙃

part vent part seeking advice really. anyone dealt with similar BS icing them out?? tired of faking half of it while everything screams 'nothing matters' 😤

I'm someone who cares a lot about others and I'm kind and caring and love to have fun with others but I don't get why my best friend who is more quiet than me is more popular and has more friends. When we first met she was very shy and I was one of her first friends and we were in the same friend group. Then our friend group fell apart but I was still friends with her. In high school for some reason everyone wanted to be friends with her and every time I stood next to her and other girls came over they would be so excited to see her and give her hugs. I always felt kind of excluded as I watched them like hang out and talk and I would just be there and try to join the convo but I couldn't and people always went out during lunch and would leave me there and stuff. But I never did anything wrong? And she also tells me about how she doesn't like all these people but then I see her being friendly with them and laughing and talking, going to classes together so it's hard to believe what she says. I don't get how she has so many more friends. I don't think she's necessarily better than me in anyway like we're pretty equal in terms of grade, athletics, looks, height, etc. A lot of guys like her but she's isn't even grateful like if someone confessed to me I would be over the moon. She has no empathy for me when I like a guy who doesn't like me back. But she's like my only close friend who knows about personal stuff.

Something else is that since I don't have that many girl friends, I sometimes talk to guys online. But I guess that builds a bad reputation for me. But it's not even like we're actually friends it's more like I'm not afraid to ask guys what we did in class if I missed it and I know I can count on them to reply on time. I'm not one of those attention seeking people but also I don't get why guys don't even want to talk to me sometimes. Like I really can't figure it out because I always spend a lot of time on people and I try to show kindness and help them out but I guess they just don't like me.

When my friends like a guy, I step away from them even if I also secretly kind of liked them, but then when I like a guy and they get jealous because they like same guy they literally get mad at me and give me the silent treatment, but I can't help it?

Also when I get hated on for looking too mean (rbf) no one defends me not even my best friend.

When she was asked about a guy I used to like she doesn't even help me hide it she just says yeah even though she knew I didn't want anyone to know.

The one time I didn't tell her something about a competition I was going to, she got really mad at me and then later on even carelessly told other people about it.

I wanted to change schools for a new beginning but my parents didn't let me. I actually have no real friends I can rely on at this point.

I'm a 28-year-old woman currently residing with my mother due to my financial constraints, as I'm still completing my education with a college grant. My upbringing in the Adventist Church left me with some deep-seated emotional issues.

Since my father's death, my mother has entered a relationship with a new partner who practices an Afro-Brazilian faith. While I've expressed my struggles with religious discussions due to my Religious Trauma Syndrome diagnosed by a therapist, he has repeatedly tried to share his spiritual experiences with me. Despite requesting respectfully to refrain from this topic when we're alone, he has ignored my requests multiple times, causing me significant distress.

This repetitive breach of my boundaries led to a confrontation where I was firmer after he once again approached me with the same topic. I believed he understood my point after he became silent, perhaps feeling ashamed. However, he later complained to my mother, claiming I was rude, which resulted in a harsh rebuke from her accusing me of immaturity and intolerance. I explained my side, agreed to apologize for the tone but not for maintaining my boundary.

I personally apologized to him but reiterated my stance on avoiding religious conversations for my mental health's sake. He dismissed my approach, suggesting that adulthood involves tolerating discomfort. This makes me wonder if I'm really in the wrong here.

Imagine the drama this situation would cause if it played out on a reality show! The cameras would zoom in on our heated discussions, and viewers would probably be split. Some might applaud my stance on mental health boundaries, while others might criticize me for not being more accommodating. The producers would eat up the tension and the mixed reactions from the audience would add even more spice.

Am I being unreasonable here?

(TW for SH)

I abselutely despise school, because it's just a bunch of work being suddenly loaded onto your back which is really stressful. As much as I hate it, though, I'm only now realizing how much I relied on it as a distraction. Back in September I caved in under pessure and started self-harming. It's been a really long journey, but after being clean for some time, it just ended all of a sudden tonight. I don't know how; I had an amazing day hanging out with my friends and all of a sudden I get home and this happens?!

I wish I could go back to school, and I wish that summer break hadn't started so soon. I hate being left alone with my thoughts for this long because this is what happens.