Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Its about my boyfriend. I dont want to talk bad about them because they're dealing with some stuff mentally and emotionally, mostly anxious problems. But I just hate hate it when I spend an hour waiting for him. I would be ok if the cafe was a one off thing but no. We've had multiple dates where I waited for him for an hour or almost an hour. Its not like I go on time sometimes, even I am late on the agreed time, mostly 5-10 minutes late because I really dont like making people wait for me. but when I get there he isn't there yet.

Its just... Once I managed to wait an hour on the mall we agreed to go to, walk all the way to his home, its quite close maybe 10-15 minutes with the pace I was going, and wait for more time before I even saw him get out of his house hair wet from shower. I understand he also has chores but that was just ridiculous.

But since my parents dont really know about us.. I always had to be creative and set time that wont be too late or too early, reasoning it as me needing to buy something for school, so the time is even more needed to be followed if you get me. His parents also dont know so we usually agree on a set time the day before. Rarely we agree on hanging out on the same day but when we do ita usually atleast 3hrs before..

But really I should've known better after dating him for almost 3 years now. He's the type to be late even on our own graduation, he barely made it with his mom before his name was called.

What's more upsetting about the cafe this is that its currently summer, that means I don't even have that much excuses to go out because I dont have projects to buy supplies for or no study groups to go to. We had a meeting for our school's journalism club for some reason which was, although cancelled, was a good excuse to leave the house.

I just feel like I should be more understanding but it's really upsetting checking my phone every five minutes for a text that says he'd be late or something. Sometimes I even get worried he wont show up at all.

Y’all I know this is a common problem, and maybe I’m just another sufferer

My wife has been cheating on me— that’s what my child says. She’s just 7 years old— an age where she shall burst with creativity, she could possibly be lying— right? That’s what I thought last week, but was proven to be true today. Indeed that intelligent 7 year old’s words were right

I feel bad for her, how come she knows what cheating is at that young age?

My wife cheated, I don’t really care

My daughter has been going through more than I expected her to ever come across, and I never realised. How do I cheer her up now?

I'm having a hard time, promise.. it feels overwhelming. I thought if you were a teacher, at least you were the boss. etc. I'll go back to sleep soon.

There's a girl at work I like, but she's not my cup of tea. I sense she's interested in something beyond that, but I'm not. I sense she's somewhat delusional and capable of bursting into tears if her dream isn't fulfilled to the letter, if even the slightest change occurs. I don't want her to be the one directing the relationship, because otherwise, I'll be at the mercy of her dominance, with serious work-related repercussions resulting from the disappointment if I give in. If I were to propose to continue a relationship with her on an ongoing basis, it would be like holding her in that dream, no matter what, taking advantage of it, since she gains power over me: being however she wants in exchange, of course, for not breaking that dream.

I don't see a girl with prodigious mental health as a prerequisite, since her desire is to succumb to disappointment. Without the emotional management that subsequently impacts social situations to maintain relief, there's no possibility of a deep relationship, whether romantic or even dating. I continue to be amazed at how people give up on the illusion of being liked by another person and don't first examine the person they're dealing with. This leads me to a modus operandi that doesn't take responsibility for visualizing where the next step, which they sense they're going to take blindly, given their impulses, will lead.

In these circumstances, my dear friends, I understand the need to take risks, but there's also the need to observe, at least as far as you can see, which in itself is important for making decisions. There are undoubtedly times when the challenge will be worthwhile, but that's only if, based on our vision, we don't see anything that threatens our stability. The point is whether it's just right. Indeed, we can talk about difficulties; however, these seem valid to me when they enter into an axis that results in enrichment, which they all are. However, there are times when they arise and they correspond only to the need to distance oneself, since in our modus operandi there is no such enrichment, but rather an abandonment.

It's painful for me to feel that I cannot succumb with complete peace of mind to this woman because I am also eager for a relationship, even though I adore my solitude. My solitude stems precisely from accepting that I am capable of developing alone rather than in a group, because I haven't found a group that casts doubt on this idea, but rather reinforces it. Which makes me think that perhaps I only visualize those who make me feel that it's better to be alone, referring, of course, to my past, where being under a hegemony and consecrated as a family for my family, I saw solitude as a path to development.

Nowadays, I find it difficult to think of a group that supports my development, although I can't say that being alone isn't the first step toward such an issue. It's first about seeing where we're coming from, a question that speaks to our environment and, at the same time, a distancing from it, and then moving toward where we feel framed in terms of such an exercise in development. We can say they are stages. The relationships I've had before have been more of a way out of such a hegemonic family situation, given the excitement it holds for me. But the very effect of this very situation undermined me. Ultimately, in a hegemonic system, its origin lies in a heightened illusion about oneself, specifically in behavior.

I wish the circumstances with this girl were different, as in other cases, but it must be said that her usefulness to my well-being wasn't in deepening the relationship for a shared destiny, but rather to point out that I wasn't yet ready to leave such an environment, because, in principle, there isn't the distancing that would make it so. Physical distance in this sense was, like courtship, also a very attractive and widely accepted call. However, stability would depend on maintaining the hope with which I would be received. In itself, there was no escape. Furthermore, other interested individuals of different kinds would not be able to contemplate me because, in principle, I would not be able to contemplate them, and neither would they in me because I harbor fear of the environment in the midst of getaways, which implies the production of inconveniences to their stability. By nature, we all seek that which does not provide them, although sometimes this is in such demand that it is very expensive, as can be a blur, as are courtships and physical distances that were sometimes recommended to me, as I was told.

It's clear that family situations can't be resolved with easy solutions, because such complexity permeates the modus operandi and makes such an easy solution a path to another hell, but one that's more comforting thanks to the cessation in the face of deep disappointment, and on top of that, with us there defending that, because we have the feeling, although projected, that the idea of a better place is a lie. Nor can we turn back, because those who have welcomed us feel their support for us after such a situation has been in constant decline inside.

bright colours move across my face

a butterfly takes gentle place

wings of pinks, purples and gold

a tiny story gently told

painted wings that flutter light

catching rays of golden bright

every smile becomes a part

of this unique work of art

bubbles rise like floating beads

catching light in glimmering steeds

they drift and dance around my face

mirroring colours with beautiful Grace

each bubble holds a memory so small

reflecting shadows that softly fall

painted wings and spheres gleam

like sunlight shown inside a dream

bubbles drift through velvet air

softly spiralling everywhere

they sparkle in the dim-lit room

like rising sparks that chase the gloom

now years have passed

the day is still

-

but in my mind I feel the thrill

the colourful wings, the bubbles gleam

a solstices light, a passing dream

ever since 2025 school year started ive just been at the lowest point of my entire life, with the accumulations of series of events. i dont have anywhere that i belong unlike my peer with different commitments, positions and etc. it doesnt help that i have no talent whatsoever, i dont excel in any aspect of life as well. i just feel like a good for nothing person thats just simply alive, i do have the best and most amazing people around me but I just can't help but feel extremely lonely at times. i used to have a commited club but after a series of betrayal and backstabbing ive basically just got ridiculed out of the club for just trying to do my best to work with the others. Just the past week I got accused of being a bully whilst ive always just minded my own business and never cared about the way others are because i know im not one to even comment on them. I've always tried to avoid trouble, tried to avoid conflict, tried to just be the nicest version of myself to others but why does this stuff keep happening to me? why do i constantly get painted as a villain when I really just want to find my own peace? I really just want to find myself again and feel happy without any lingering concerns or conflicts for once, at this point i really just want to get out of highschool and start over with my life again, even better without being in the same school as the people that hated me for idk what reason. i hope i can hang on as its just 6 months away? from grad i really cannot wait but ill miss my friends fr :(

so I was just like sleeping in band class right? I wake up, and my 'friend'(are we even still friends? I dunno) takes the stand in front of me. out of curiosity I look to the stand next to them and go 'what about this one?'. they explain to me that it was broken and we leave it at that. however they'd been sort of purposefully avoiding talking to me{?) and so I ask 'hey are you mad at me?' pretty obviously I was scared, due to being brought up in an environment where everyone was mad at me all the time for no reason and caused me to have heavy people pleasing tendencies. then they started going off on me about how I always think people are mad at me and blah blah blah. thing is, they KNOW about my home life. but like they're being nice to all the other friends they abandoned me for. so I dunno.

so I'm a very easily irritated person. I'm a little insecure about the way my body looks so I usually just take selfies. I don't like taking pictures of my body.

Today, my family and I went to this one place it was very beautiful. I told them I just wanted to take a selfie. Then my sister keeps on asking me why not, why not, I got a little irritated. Then she said that I don't even want to take pictures with my own mother. The way she talks always makes me look bad.

Now my mother is taking her side saying why did I act out. She always makes me ruin the mood. Because everyone knows how I am so they never blame my sister. They blame me because I'm the one that got mad. I never said I didn't want to take pictures I just wanted to take selfies only that's all.

And somehow I'm the problem again.

She always does this. She always pushes me to the edge. I get mad. I'm the problem.

Just because of a single picture, to them I ruined the whole experience

i dont even kno what’s wrong with me fr. like i try, i really do. i sit in class, i listen, i take notes, i study sometimes too but it just dont stick. like my brain hears the words but it dont do anything with it. everyone else gets it, the teacher explains stuff and they just nod like yep that makes sense and im sittin there with the same confused face i had from the start. it’s like everyone around me is in on some secret and im the only one who missed it. like the whole world gets how things work except me. and i hate it. i hate sittin there feelin dumb while people answer questions and i dont even kno what page we’re on. sometimes i laugh it off like haha im just stupid lol but inside it makes me feel so small. i see the grades come back and they suck every time, and no matter what anyone says it always feels like a punch in the gut. you just need to work harder, they say. try a different method, they say. like bruh, what do you think i been doing?? its not like i wanna fail. i go home and i got nothin to be proud of. my mom asks how school was and i lie, say it’s fine, but its not. i feel like the dumb one in every room, every group, every conversation. even my friends joke about it sometimes like oh that’s just you being slow again and i laugh cuz i dont want them to see how much it really gets to me.

i see smart kids and i wish i was like them. like how do they make it look so easy?? like they just know stuff. they get the grades, they get the praise, teachers like them, they get picked for things, nd im just… there. i dont even kno what im good at anymore. not school, not sports, not talkin to people, like what is even the point of me?? i feel like a mistake. like i was born broken or something. nd yeah maybe people will say dont be so hard on yourself or everyone learns differently but that don’t help when u the one failing every test. that don’t help when u see ur friends talkin about college and future jobs and im just tryna survive next period without crying. i get scared. like, what if this never changes? what if im always the one that don’t get it? what if im always the one people look at and feel sorry for? i wanna be smart. i wanna make my parents proud. i wanna have a future where i don’t feel useless every day. but right now? i just feel dumb. nd i keep askin myself why. why am i dumb? why cant i be normal? why does my brain feel like it hates me? no one gives answers that make sense. no one gets it. they just say stuff to make me feel better but they don’t know what it’s like. nd honestly, i don’t even kno how much longer i can take feeling like this every single day...

I am collapsing inward like a dying star but no one will see the implosion until the light dissipates.

If you were to ask me what kind of friend I was, I’d tell you I’m the compassionate one.

But if you were to ask me on a deeper level, I’d say not once have I ever felt genuinely wanted or seen. I’ve always felt like the pity friend that is just allowed to be there. Not the favorite or the least favorite, just forever existing in a state of mediocrity. Deep down I desperately wish to feel truly cared for and I don’t know how much longer I can exist feeling like this. But I absolutely refuse to let anyone I love feel the way that I do. I will fiercely care and love them even if it sacrifices my own peace.

I’m never wanted. Too much and simultaneously not enough. Desperately praying to be completely and irrevocably seen. I think the second I’d feel wanted, the world would pause, all emotions would break like a tidal wave as I feel the earth give way under my feet, grasping onto the wanton need, fearing it would turn and run. Just like everything and everyone has done to me. So I’ll sit. And I’ll stay. Waiting for that day if it were to ever come. Though I fear I’d wait so long death would meet me first. Perhaps that is the only time I’d be wanted. I’d grasp his outstretched skeleton hand and wander to the land of the dead. Perhaps that is when I’ll have peace.

I don’t even know where to begin with this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and lately, I’ve started to question everything. At first, he was so charming—he could make anyone laugh, had this way of making me feel like I was the only person in the world. But over time, things started changing, and now I wonder if he’s actually... well, a narcissist.

It’s like he’s got two sides. One moment he’s telling me how much he loves me, and the next, he’s criticizing everything I do, from the way I cook to the people I hang out with. He never seems to take any responsibility for things that go wrong. If we argue, it’s somehow always my fault, and if I try to stand up for myself, he twists things around until I’m the one apologizing. I used to think it was just his way of dealing with stress, but it’s been years now, and nothing seems to change.

A few months ago, I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling. I told him I felt like he only cared about his own needs and didn’t see me as an equal partner. I thought maybe this would be a wake-up call for him, but he just laughed it off, saying I was overreacting and too “emotional.” Since then, things have only gotten worse. It’s like he’s always testing me, seeing how much he can get away with.

I’ve started to read about narcissism, and the signs are all there—the lack of empathy, the need for control, the manipulations. It hurts to think about him like that, but it also feels like the truth I’ve been avoiding. I’m at a point where I don’t know if he can ever change. I’ve read stories online about narcissists changing, but they all seem too good to be true. Can a narcissist really change? Or am I just hoping for something that will never happen?

Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending episode of a reality show, where everyone’s watching this trainwreck unfold and wondering why I’m still here. If this was really a reality show, I wonder what people would think of me. Would they understand, or would they just think I’m foolish for hoping he’ll be different?

I have national exam in about few days and I'm so scared. I really don't know anything and I just keep getting distracted. I'm stressing and hyperventilating but I still can't study and foolishly wasting my time in phone. It feels like the world is gonna end for me. I really wanna give. I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm scared about my parents. I'm so scared that I'd rather give up than face them. I hate it, I hate it so much. I'm so dumb, stupid and idiot.

So around last December, me and a friend were sitting around a fire and the fire wouldn't stay lit so we decided to go to a bar. Well, I didn't feel like changing clothes bc I was comfortable, and it was cold asf. So I went out wearing my plush pajama pants and a Columbia fleece jacket which probably wasnt the best idea😂 well we got too the bar and we were playing pool and my buddy bumped into this dude behind us, and when he did it made the guy miss his shot. So the dude was not happy at all he turned around and pushed my buddy. So being the friend that I am I walked up and pushed this guy too the ground, and when I did one of his buddies came up behind me and uppercutted and grabbed and was squeezing tff out of my balls all at the same time. Until I went to my knees and when I got down to his level I remember him saying in my ear while still squeezing and twisting my balls "oh your boys are nice and fuzzy".Which i mean the pants are soft asff but there were so many people around. Including girls lol that heard that, and it was humiliating. I couldn't do anything but hold my inner thigh and hoped he let go. Well, it went on for about 30 more seconds. That's when i felt something pop and he let go. I instantly got to my feet, limping but walking. My buddy helped me walk out of the bar. I remember being sore and not being able to close my legs for a week. My gf still doesn't know about anything when she asked me what was wrong. I just told her I rolled my ankle bc she kept asking why I was limping. What would be a good way to tell her about this embarrassing situation?

I recently celebrated my high school graduation, which should have been an incredible milestone. My mother, keen on commemorating the occasion, organized a party in June. However, my mom's side of the family, particularly her relationship with her sister, is quite strained. This tension has repeatedly placed me in the awkward position of being my mom's main source of emotional support during family gatherings.

At my party, instead of enjoying the event with friends and relishing the moment, I found myself embroiled in family drama. My mom constantly pulled me aside to comment on my aunt's demeanor, alleging she seemed "jealous" or "disinterested." This not only dampened the festive spirit for me but also kept me from fully engaging with friends and other guests. The joy of my graduation was overshadowed by an air of unease that my mom projected as she fretted over possible confrontations or remarks from her sister.

Looking ahead, another family function is on the horizon, and my mom has already set the expectation for me to be her emotional pillar once more. She reminded me, "You know how these things go, I need you there." This time, however, I decided to stand my ground. I expressed my unwillingness to partake in the ongoing drama between her and her sister, emphasizing my desire to enjoy such events without being caught in their longstanding feud. This did not sit well with her, and she accused me of being selfish and ungrateful, especially after the graduation party she hosted—which, ironically, she spoiled with her behavior.

Now, we're not really speaking, and to complicate matters, my aunt texted to advise me to be more lenient with my mom due to her emotional struggles. While I understand the complexities of their relationship and my mom's feelings, I am frustrated and exhausted from being placed consistently in the middle of their issues.

If my life were part of a reality show, viewers might be divided. Some might sympathize with my plight of being thrust into adult conflicts, while others might argue that familial loyalty should prevail, compelling me to support my mom despite the personal toll it could take. It's curious to consider where public opinion would lean and whether the heightened visibility would amplify the family drama or encourage quicker resolutions.

Am I wrong for refusing to serve as my mom's support in these family dynamics, despite her feeling abandoned by me, or is it reasonable to protect my own emotional well-being during such gatherings?

So I gave birth to a child, when he was inside of me I didn't like him, hell I wanted to kill myself just to destroy him, I didn't get pregnant by choice, I couldn't get a abortion because of the law, my whole pregnancy just fucked with my mental and physical health but then when I saw him for the first time and holded him I just couldn't help but love this little treasure, but sadly after 2 weeks of pure happiness of me holding, nursing, talking and sleeping with him I got a lot of pus filled bump all over my forehead, since the doctor doesn't know what is it, he forbade me from nursing and holding MY CHILD, my treasure so know it's my mother and siblings who takes care of him, i'm jealous, I also want to hold him but I can't, I know that they are just trying to help but I can't help it, i'm jealous of them