Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I am 41. I am a woman. I have been married to an alcoholic for more than 15 years. I am sure he doesnt love me, and I am pretty sure it is becuase he is an alcoholic. This is not poetry. This is just facts from my kitchen table at 2 a.m. while he sleeps it off again. People like to say “love is patient” or “marriage is work.” Fine. But there is a difference between work and emotional starvation. I have done alot of waiting. Waiting for him to come home sober. Waiting for him to notice I cut my hair. Waiting for him to ask how my day was and actually listen. He can be generous, polite, even charming when he wants. He can also disappear into a bottle and leave nothing behind but noise and resentment. Therapists say, “don’t take it personally.” AA slogans say, “one day at a time.” Friends say, “he loves you in his own way.” I call bullshit. Love, real love, requires presence. He is never present. When he drinks, I am furniture. When he is sober, he is tired, ashamed, defensive. There is no room left for me. I remember once being sick with the flu, shaking, asking him to stay home. He said he would. He didn’t. He came back drunk and annoyed that I was “still miserable.” That memory sticks. It always will.

I am not saying alcoholics are monsters. I am saying alcoholism eats love first. It eats empathy, patience, and accountability. There is days when he looks at me like he is trying to remember who I am. That is the part no one wants to admit. Addiction turns relationships into transactions. I provide stability. He provides chaos. We orbit the same house but live seperate lives. I stopped expecting affection years ago. I stopped asking questions, becuase answers require honesty and sobriety. When I confronted him last year, he said, “I never asked you to stay.” That sentence was clean and brutal. He was right. I stayed. I also learned. Love cannot survive where alcohol is the priority. It will always come second, third, or not at all. I am balanced enough to admit my own role. I enabled. I hoped. I believed promises I knew were weak. But I am also honest enough to say this: love needs intention. Addiction has none. So tell me, reader, if someone chooses a substance over you every day, what word would you use for that? Is it love, or is it just habit dressed up as marriage? I am tired of pretending those are the same.

Are my feelings valid? When I hesitate to give to my husband’s family. They’re not well-off, but they’re managing. We already have our own family, and his salary is small and barely enough. We still give to his family from time to time, and I agree to it, but sometimes it becomes too much.

We always argue because he always wants to help his family. I don’t really have a problem with that — it’s just that his salary is small, and we also have a baby who still needs milk. But his mom and dad sometimes ask us for money, even for things like his sibling’s school allowance.

We give when we can, so it’s not like I’m being selfish. I just don’t like it when it becomes excessive, because we’re not rich either. We argue because he thinks I’m being selfish toward his family, but of course, I’m also thinking about the fact that he already has a family of his own now — us.

And when I cry during our fights, he tells me, ‘You act like you’re the one being mistreated.’ I just want to express my emotions because I’m not used to us having serious fights.

Are my feelings valid?

So I've had problems with SH in the past. It's gotten really bad now, and it's all on my legs so it's easier to hide from my parents. My mom thought she took all the sharp objects out of my room, but, well... my pencil sharpener. I took the blade out. I started feeling ashamed of who I am, so I might've written a couple things with the blade (I wrote "Kpop," "LGBTQ," and a therian symbol) then put an X through them. And on the other leg... I wrote smt I don't want to share. One of the things is still bleeding and I couldn't find a bandaid big enough to cover it so I used toilet paper and fucking packing tape to cover it and make a makeshift bandage.

I’m 13, female. I often come online like anybody else, I don’t have social media other than Snapchat and YouTube if you’d even consider that social media. Because of this sometimes I feel a bit of a disconnect. A lot of my peers have apps like discord or instagram. While it’s not a big deal because I never feel out of the loop with my friends sometimes it just makes me feel like I’m not where I should be. Like I’m out of the circle of all the people in my grade, I don’t know the latest things or anything. I don’t have a whole lot of friends too, 1 best friend which I love, a small circle of friends (around 5) and a few acquaintances that I feel too awkward to really be myself around. So sometimes I get lonely or just want to experience something outside of that. Hence I try to go online through websites like this. I have my struggles, that’s why when I feel I have no one to talk to I go online and write them here to get them out. I know I can’t know everything in the world, I haven’t lived long enough. But I find that a lot of people treat me like I know nothing just because I’m young. I’ll vent about something personal on here and I’ve gotten responses that basically say that it’s “not that bad” and “that’s just life”. I know that! I know I can’t have it so much worse! I know that struggles come with life! That’s why I’m so grateful for the things I have but sometimes I just need to get it out! I know how horrible life can be, I know it has twists and tricks, I know what I have is not nearly as bad as someone who doesn’t have a home, or who’s starving or living in a country at war. I’m so happy and grateful for the life I have. I think a lot of people don’t really see kids as mature enough to really think deeply or they don’t know anything. It’s really not true. I know it sounds like I’m just being bratty but I hate it when people think less of me because of age. I don’t know everything but neither does anybody. You who’s reading this doesn’t, if anybody even does read this that is. I hate that quote “you don’t know everything”, I get told that a lot because I’m a child. Because I’m not “old enough” to understand and know. But nobody is. Nobody knows everything. I’m capable of having really mature and deep thoughts but I feel like no one can see that. My friends can but can adults? I don’t think so because every time they seem to think I don’t know anything.

We all have those times when we take a good long look at our lives and think, "Wow, my family is basically toxic." Yeah, that’s me, sitting here at 17, kind of over all the crap I’ve had to deal with since I was little; like, when did it become completely normal for people who are supposed to love and support you to treat you like you’re some low-life piece of trash? I mean, seriously? It’s been this way as far back as I can remember, and sometimes I wonder if anyone else feels like this or if it’s just me – does anyone else out there have a family that just doesn’t know how to be nice? It’s like I’ve been living in a sitcom that got canceled after one season, with a cast of characters who just can’t figure out how to act right. I constantly find myself waiting for the finish line of high school to come into sight because that’s when I know I can finally break free. You know, the moment where I can just stand up and say, “Screw you all! I’m outta here!” But here I am, still enduring endless lectures from my parents about how I’m not good enough or how I need to shape up because apparently, my life goals were decided by them when they thought having kids would be a walk in the park. How do they expect me to thrive when I feel suffocated by all their demands? It’s maddening! It’s disheartening to think that I’m surrounded by people who don’t even see my potential, who seem to want to keep me small and miserable. Like, where’s the understanding? Where’s the compassion? Where’s the basic human decency? I’ve tried to talk to them about how I feel, but every time I open my mouth, it’s like throwing a paper plane into a hurricane; all it does is get torn apart and blown away. Have you ever had a conversation that felt like you were speaking a completely different language? I can’t count the number of times I’ve faced resentment just for wanting to express my thoughts. It’s as if my voice doesn't even exist; it’s frustrating because I have dreams, aspirations, actual plans of how to better my life. I want to work hard and make something of myself, but instead of encouragement, I get subjected to eye rolls and dismissive comments. It’s unhealthy and toxic, and there’s no other way to put it! Honestly, I’d rather be alone than in a house where I’m constantly reminded of my so-called shortcomings; I have no clue how they think this is going to help me in the long run. And, sure, they say they care; of course, they do! But their version of care seems to be wrapped in criticism and negativity, which makes me roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised I don’t see my brain. There’s nothing quite like feeling like the black sheep of the family, which is ironic because I sometimes wish I could turn into a literal sheep and just roam peacefully, far away from all the chaos. Even when we’re all sitting together for dinner, it feels like a battleground where every stare cuts deeper than a knife. You can cut the tension with a knife; it’s palpable! The silences are more deafening than the arguments, where everyone just eats in a hollow, uncomfortable silence, avoiding each other’s gazes like I'm some kind of alien invading their planet; and for what? I’m just trying to survive here! I guess the only silver lining is that I’m learning resilience. I’m becoming stronger with each drama-filled day. I’m looking forward to the moment I can fly away and create a life that is mine, free from emotional blackmail; it’s almost like my own personal rebellion! I keep reminding myself that this toxic environment doesn’t define who I am or what I can achieve. I hope to find my own supportive community outside of this mess, a place where people encourage you to chase your dreams and don’t tear you down at every opportunity. I know there’s a world out there full of kindness and warmth, waiting for me to find it! Yes, I may have a toxic family, but I believe I can break this cycle! How many of you feels this way too? Isn’t it time we all just took charge of our own narratives and molded them into something beautiful?

i got 1A and 4Bs in my IGCSE exam. at the time i was 12 (16 is the normal age), dropped out of school into a completely new system (caie) and gave the exams in 6 months without tuition or school. it was a really big jump, i was lonely and dumb, i’ll give myself some leeway there. i admit i studied lazily in the first half (3 exams), but in the second half(2 exams after 3 months) i really tried HARD. i really did, i swear. i mean i wasn’t the best in my previous school, but i still ALWAYS got 2nd or 3rd place which had to be something, right? even if i still wasn’t good enough for 1st, i was still good. but now, i’m just… bad. my siblings always got 1st place in school and got all A* in IGCSE (one of them was even 14-15 at the time). money was tight, so my parents and i thought i could be able to do it too. spoiler alert, i just disappointed them. i mean, i could retake but i doubt I’d even get better results and i just dont want to go through that shit again. i tried my hardest, i really did. i wish i could turn back time and fix everything. i can’t look anyone in the face anymore, or even myself. i’m such a fucking pathetic retarded dumb stupid ugly fat pig friendless loser who couldn’t do the one thing her family expected of her. if news does get out to my other relatives, i dont even know what i’d do. worst, my parents were nice about it and comforted me. i know they are lying, and they don’t even hide it, when another person has similar results to mine, they call him stupid. i dont how to live with these grades anymore. i cant even bring myself to study for A levels, all ive been doing is bedrotting for 4 months. today i was asked by my brother, “what did you get A* in?” and then i was reminded im such a fucking loser. i wanted to get in a uni with a scholarship, but now thats completely out of the question and i doubt id even get in a good uni even if i got straight A* in A levels. I’m good at nothing, this was the only thing i could atleast say smth about but now its been taken away from me. i was a coward because my religion doesnt allow me to kill myself, but honestly, i would rather live in fucking burning hell than wake up everyday in this fucking body.

Tw eating disorders:

I've been talking to this guy for only a little bit but he seemed really nice and everything was going great. Hes really funny and we share the same humor but he made a joke about me that really bugged me. He made a joke calling me anorexic. I have really been struggling with self image issues for a while but I dont think he knows. The joke still really rubbed me the wrong way and I just keep thinking about it. Besides this hes been the perfect guy but I just cant seem to let this go. Am I over reacting?

I’m loosing friends left and right. I don’t know why but it’s making me feel like shit. I’m 16 years old but I need to get out of this house. Out of this town. Out of this state. My mom is suffocating me with responsibilities; maintain a good social life, but you can’t have friends if you’re failing a class. Keep good grades, but 80’s aren’t good enough for us. Take care of yourself, except for when we need you to do something. Follow all of the rules, but when you make a mistake it’s the end of the world.

they aren’t letting me grow up. I feel like I’m choking and I can’t escape. There is no escape. Emancipation is out of the question.

everybody hates me here too.

One friend group is excluding me rather than finding a compromise, and another has just ghosted me. I don’t know if I have any real friends left. I break my back and a half for them and all they say is “we want more!” And when I can’t provide, I’m thrown away. There’s nobody else here I can talk to. I don’t want therapy. It makes me feel gross.

I can’t make friends with the people here because they either can’t function in society or they already hate me.

I can’t escape

I don’t want to kms. I want to leave.

find new people. Get out of this hell hole.

I feel like throwing up all the time.

i try my best not to sh cuz i made a promise.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to run away but I do. And I don’t, but I do. every time I open my mouth I’m annoying.

There’s this dude who likes me, but I’m afraid if I do date him, I’ll grow repulsive and disgusted by him. Let me explain.

I’ve been in one relationship before, and after a few months of them showing affection in words, I began to grow disgusted at them and everything about them. Weird thing is, I want a relationship, it’s just I know I only like the idea of it. Except when the idea came to life, the exact reaction occurred. Disgustion.

Does anyone else experience this..?

Is it messed up that I slightly hope the the girl I’ve been talking to goes to jail so I can stop talking to her because I’m struggling to not to talk to her because I’m so alone, and I know she uses and manipulates me and it’s destroyed me emotionally. She goes to court tomorrow and idk how to feel happy because I can not be used or sad because I’ll be back to completely isolated . For a bit more context I met this girl at a club she right off the bat tells me she’s a felon but she likes me, I get her number and we go on a few what I think are dates but really just me paying for her dinner and I get to join along And she gives me just enough to keep me around and hooked but not enough for anything else and she tried to avoid most all conversation I try to have about anything and then calls me a creep to my face for trying to get to know her even though she has never asked me one question about myself and she’s never sales I don’t think this will work or I’m not interested she has said she is interested but doesn’t act like it

Every year, organizing a family getaway has become one of my cherished traditions. This year, with Easter approaching, I reached out to gather everyone's availability, aiming for a winter holiday suited for all. Unfortunately, not all plans aligned perfectly. My daughter-in-law and son mentioned that the initial dates wouldn’t work due to her job constraints, and even our backup options failed to suit them.

Traditionally, our family vacations were accessible by a car ride, but this year marked a thrilling change. The consensus among the adults was that the children were now mature enough for a more adventurous outing, prompting us to set our sights on Europe. Excitement buzzed as tickets were purchased and accommodations were secured by me.

As the planning solidified, my son and daughter-in-law, having been absent from the vacation chat due to initially opting out, caught wind of the European destination and expressed a sudden interest to join. She called seeking details on what they needed to do to be included. Curiously, she now mentioned she could manage time off work, which made me suspect that the allure of Europe swayed her previous decisiveness.

Regrettably, I had to explain that it was too late to alter the arrangements. The accommodations were already booked, and adjusting them to include two more adults would entail additional costs, which I wasn't prepared to cover. She seemed surprised by my decision and lamented how excluding them from a Christmas family trip seemed harsh. My son echoed his disappointment, affirming that I could financially handle the modification. Yet, I stood by my decision, which only led him to label me as unreasonable.

Given the circumstance, I am curious about how others might perceive this situation. If this family dilemma were part of a reality show, I wonder how the audience would react. Would they sympathize with my adherence to the plans and budget, or would they vilify me for not extending the budget to include my son and daughter-in-law last minute?

I'm keen on hearing an outsider's perspective on this. How would you handle such a family conflict, especially under the scrutiny of a public or televised audience?

Recently, a coworker from my office, whom I wouldn't consider a close friend but more of an acquaintance, invited me to a celebration for his new home purchase. It was an impressive property, complete with a sprawling backyard, a swimming pool, and even a decorative waterfall cascading into the pool. Although we mostly exchanges pleasantries at work and don't spend time together otherwise, he generously asked me to bring along my girlfriend.

The gathering was quite large; close to forty guests were there, and I only knew a handful of them. As the evening unfolded, my girlfriend started airing her grievances about the party in Hunsrik, a Germanic dialect spoken in our region of Southern Brazil. She criticized everything from the food selections, which she claimed did not cater to her dietary needs, to the host's choice of decor and playlist. Assuming no one else at the party would understand, she didn't hold back on her harsh remarks.

However, unbeknownst to her, my coworker approached and responded in fluent German, offering sympathy for the dietary incompatibility and even suggested a nearby store where she could find suitable food. He also invited her to choose some music if she wasn't enjoying what was played. The look of disbelief on her face was unmistakable, and a few snickers from other guests didn't help the situation.

Flustered, she retorted in Portuguese, questioning how they understood German. My coworker explained that he and a few others at the party had spent time working in Germany. Feeling utterly embarrassed, she urged me to leave, but I was enjoying myself and suggested we stay longer. Reluctantly, she agreed but kept to herself for most of the night. The ride home was tense, filled with arguments about whether I should have supported her or not. She blamed me for not disclosing my coworker’s fluency in German, although it was something I hadn't truly appreciated myself.

Imagine if this whole debacle unfolded on a reality TV show—no doubt it would've made for some cringe-worthy yet highly engaging television. The cameras would've captured every awkward expression and sharply whispered aside, amplifying the drama and, perhaps, adding a provocative twist to explore cultural assumptions and mishaps in social etiquette further.

my head hurts, I'm dizzy, I can barely breathe. I don't think I'll be able to stomach food, and I can barely swallow the special water my mom gives me every day. I draw a lot, but today the only thing I was able to draw today was Jason Voorhees because of the mask. I feel weak. Mentally and physically. Only 8 days into high school and it's already taking its toll.

Do you hear it, Bowie? The ringing. You've always been here. You can't leave.

Okk so I believe I found ways of making money online remotely BUT BRO THEY EITHER REQUIRE THAT IF UR A MINOR U NEED PARENTS EMAIL AND CONSENT LIKE BROOOO WHYYYY (for any one wondering I clearly don’t want my parents to take my money 😭🙏) okkk soo like my main question how can I do this w/o parents can I open a fake email? In replacement of them?? ChatGPT said that’s illegal 💔 BUT THIS COULD BE A BIG OPPORTUNITY (well hopefully) or does any one have an other way I can make money online w/o parents? Or a method to just really pretend I’m over 18+

No I'm not the Joker. I had an unnecessary argument with some trolls online. It made me realize that I hate how everyone's an asshole and no one wants to have conversations or be civil. Even is always in the right even if they're wrong, especially influencers, they can't take accountability for their actions at all. I hate how billionaires get a free pass on taxes while some people in my country are debating between rent and food. I wanna go back to pre-iPhone era or go back to when we had trains. To be honest, I'd rather not exist at all.