Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

so I'm in a trio with 2 of my close friends

most people say it wont work but for like a year its been working quiet well untill tga went on holidays and came back

because me and Barney have gotten closer and are now a duo and we are kinda leaving her out

but its going into winter and we wnat to go indoors where as she wants to stay outdoors at lunches so we go inside with out her so idk I feel like I'm gonna lose them both cause Barney is talking about moving schools so idk relay anymore

I also believe I don't deserve them and are a bad friend even tho both of them say how gold I am but I feel like idk its just like I don't belong

It's strange, my family. I don't mean just because of the crazy shit either. Remove the gang shit, the drugs, the main plate- and I'm kind of a stranger to them. Weirdest thing.

Recap:

After it all blew over- or up, depending- and my siblings scattered too. Ended up on my own at 14.

Did what I could, when, and how. Time passes. I struggle, yeah. But I'm here. So:

About more than a decade later, very select members of my fam- mostly the distant rels- try to talk, or get in my life a bit. Here's the thing though: Even before, yk, the gang stuff- when we were a sorta normal fam- They treated me and my sister like mistakes. Not just beatings, but like, just rotten behavior. The rest? Watched.

So, naturally, we don't really speak to anyone. At all. My dad, for instance, feels guilty for leaving me in that environment. Took me a while to give him an inch, but I did. And it's been up and down. Same with grandparents: Guilt. But it's not just their conscience here, it's mine.

They come into my life, and yk, they know what they saw back then. But they seem to think they know it all. There are times I've shared some.. yk, fucked up shit. Real dark, things I seen or yk. And they look at me like they've seen a ghost. They say things like, not that they don't believe, but almost as a "Surely I'd have known about that" and its like BRO yall fuckin ran and left us behind. Maybe you SHOULD have known, but ya don't. Y'dig?

But it's not just that. Sometimes they get so..idk. Ig maybe them running off to live normal lives while me and sis got our shit rocked 24/7 sometimes prevents them from understanding that we are self made, self rescued. We didn't have help- and we didn't need it, yk, mostly, turns out.

So they come back into our lives, ask tough questions and when the answer is, circumstantially, horrific- they seem to know it all. They tell me "Ah you can't let that get you down.' Yes, good advice. Only I just told you I saw a man burn to death over 1000 dollars debt. Thats.. like wtf is that response? "Well that's unfortunate." UH??? WHA?

YOU asked ME!

If it ain't that, it's this weird misunderstanding that my struggles are trivial- idk if it's bc I'm young, and like some really stupid folk, they assume age limits your experiences- but they literally cannot understand how I'm traumatized. What's more, they're smothering me- or try to. They give off the "oh shit we really fucked him up, kinda failed, please please forgive us" but laced with a "let's try to make him who we want". And well, I don't take kindly to that. Ain't no one making me anything. Idk, does any of this make any sense?

Another thing I hate, is when they actually want to ask questions or.. talk about bad stuff, especially failures or things they did wrong, they sugar coat it, and I just.. nah. Nah bro. They treat me like this odd thing, a curious thing to look at and wonder about, and then ignore. Strangest thing really. Family is such a foreign concept to me, disgusting almost, I know that's my own experience but fuck, man. I think what's going to happen is imma make my peace and dip. They want control, they want to be nosey so they can judge. They want to ask questions and pick them apart, but shrink when the answer is given. That's like asking a vet if he's killed a man, or a paramedic if they've seen a man die, and getting disturbed when they say yes.

Idk. I guess I just didn't expect my entire bloodline to be a punch of spineless cowards.

Or, if it's not that,

I tried looking it up online... But I still don't get it🫠. And there are different meanings or definitions📖. So, I'm hoping real humans can inform me about what the abbreviation... MIL... Means🙇🏻‍♀️✨. This was one of the categories to write on iiwiars.

Does anyone have any tips that can help me with my knee pain as my knee pain has got even worse and I been really struggling with a new symprem / problem and the symtim / problem is my knee now feels like it is grinding when I'm working and I my knee seems to be clicking and popping more and it has started to hurt once it has clicked or popped and my knee has been giving out more as well.

Also ibuprofen and parisitamol aren't tutching the pain anymore.

And I also haven't received my physio latter yet and no doctor can or seems to be helping me and I f I try to get an appointment for my knee they say as I'm under the hospital they can't help me so I'm basically alone till I start physio and I don't know when that will be.

I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately, but every time the words am I gay cross my mind, I push them away, like if I don’t think about it, it’ll just go away. Except it doesn’t. I’m 32 years old, and I feel like I should have figured this out by now. But here I am, sitting in my apartment after another long day at work, replaying every moment in my life that’s ever made me question myself. I mean, I’ve always liked women—or at least, I thought I did. I’ve had girlfriends, I’ve been in love, and I’ve genuinely been attracted to women. But then why does this other side of me exist? The side that wonders why I sometimes feel something different when I look at a guy. The side that gets this weird flutter in my stomac when a certain type of guy walks by or when I watch a movie and find myself paying way too much attention to the male lead instead of the actress everyone else is drooling over. I tell myself it’s nothing, just admiration, but at some point, admiration starts feeling a lot like attraction.

It’s not like I’ve never questioned it before. There were moments, little things throughout my life that should’ve made me stop and think. Like that time in college when my friend put his arm around me, and it sent this unexpected rush through me. Or the way I felt weirdly nervous around a certain guy I worked with a few years ago, even though I told myself I just thought he was cool. But I never let myself go further than that. I never really explored it because I didn’t need to, right? I was dating women, and I liked them, so that meant I was straight. Case closed. Except, now, after years of ignoring it, it’s like my brain won’t let it go anymore. It’s not just a passing thought that I can laugh off or push aside—it’s sticking with me, making me wonder if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time. What if I never questioned it before because I never gave myself the space to? Wat if I’ve been so caught up in doing what’s expected, in playing the part, that I never stopped to ask myself what I actually want?

The scary part is, I don’t even know where to go from here. How do you figure this out when you’ve already built a life on the assumption that you’re straight? Do I just start dating guys? Do I tell someone? And if I do, what if I’m wrong? What if this is just some passing phase or overthinking spiral, and I make a huge deal out of something that doesn’t even need to be a deal at all? I wish there was some test, some clear-cut answer that would just tell me, yes, you are gay or no, you’re just overanalyzing everything. But there’s not. And that’s what makes this so confusing. Maybe I’m bi, maybe I’m just figuring myself out late, or maybe I’m reading into things too much. All I know is, I can’t keep pushing it away. I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and wonder what would’ve happened if I’d been brave enough to actually face this. Maybe the real question isn’t am I gay, but what happens if I let myself find out?

I matched with a woman on Tinder, and we had a short-lived romance that spanned a few months. She confessed that I was her first Tinder outing following a lengthy hiatus from the dating scene. Our connection fell apart after she disclosed that she was seeing another guy on the side, which made me feel exploited.

Not long after, I started seeing another Tinder match who shared that this was also her first date in a long time following a traumatic breakup of her engagement. I was understanding about her past.

It seems that this narrative is recurrent for me. Perhaps my easy-going and well-put-together demeanor, combined with being fairly attractive and easygoing, makes me the ideal first-Tinder-date type. Normally, these dates transition smoothly from a match to meeting for drinks, but they often reveal a lack of real chemistry and we part ways. It's left me pondering if I'm merely a stepping stone, warming them up for "better" dates.

From the onset with the most recent woman, I indicated my interest in a serious relationship and tried repeatedly to understand her intentions across multiple dates. Her responses were elusive. Moreover, she jokingly mentioned exploiting my professional contacts for a job opportunity in our shared industry, which added to my concerns. Despite my tentative feelings, it ended when she phoned to break up with me, admitting she had developed emotional connections with someone else.

Having experienced several breakups, I'm usually quite resilient, but this time I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt like I had been instrumental in helping her regain her trust in dating, only for her to transfer those newly revived emotions to another relationship.

Really, it’s like I was just there to prepare her for the next guy.

My feelings are hurt; it feels like I was used.

She thinks I’m being unrealistic.

Am I mistaken here?

If this all played out on a reality show, the cameras capturing every awkward date and emotional moment, I wonder how the audience would react. Would they see my genuine efforts and sympathize with my feeling used? Or perhaps they'd critique my inability to see the signs and cheer her on for finding a more suitable match? It's one thing to live through it privately, but having thousands watch and weigh in might be a whole other level of drama.

It takes a village. You need to work on building your village. I feel I have but many times it’s confirmed my village is not very robust or even existent. It’s heartbreaking. People are nice enough for awhile but then don’t (or “can’t”) show up when you really need it. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong?

So my friend is mad at me because I refused her help. She said I got "mad" when she tried to help me, which I DIDN'T. I just said "I don't need help" and that was it! But now, she's over here, talking shit behind my back! LIKE IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH ME, SAY IT TO MY FUCKING FACE. And someone I THOUGHT was my friend is just taking her side. Ok, maybe I've been a little bitchy lately, but that's because I have things going on in my own life. If you cared to ask how I'm doing once in a while, you'd know! I'm actually about to fight her. She wants me to "grow up"? Yeah. I will.

Plz 8gnore typos

Dumping my feelings here so I do t tell someone I know smth I'll regret

R

I feel so tired and stil like idk I feel like absolute shit each day, my mind feels foggy and I think I have adhd but I can't get it diagnosed and it's wrecking my school life. I love been friend with one girl for like a year and a half and we were so close but she horridly impacted my health mentally or maybe I was always gonna be like this. I feel like in not actually close to any of my friend and I'm not very well liked. My friendships keep falling apart on my end and I feel like shit. Every friendship I enter in already thinking Aby when it's gonna end bc I've lost almost all my friendships

I'm constantly stressed abt my money for no reason and I feel bitter when I see my friend being able to spend money without feeling crippling guilt and even eating feels like a waste I don't wanna be a burden to .y family especially my mom and I think I can be a bad sister or daughter By grades keep slipping and I can pull myself together to fix it

I to8ght I was getting g better but I've started slipping again and I've been considering cat scratches ifykyk and I dunno why I'm doing g this anymore I wanna be in phycaitry bit I'm not smart enough to get into mrd school. Other than that people keep asking me to decide what I wanna do jn the future but I'm a ducking kid and I don't god damm know what I wanna do if the future Some of my friends ds (the 1year frie d) vents to me about her issues but I can't help but think that she's kinda got it goof and why can she vent but u can't without changing how people see me? I wanna help her but it took so much out of me. I care about her vut I find myself hating g her sometime I I hate myself for it and lots other sikt that I can't write anymore

so, i came into the kitchen today and saw my son's diary chillin' on the table. it was open, like totally lying there for everyone to see. i'm like, okay, not gonna snoop or anything but then my eye catches something he wrote: that he's gay 😲. i mean, i love him no matter what, right? but now i'm stuck wondering how do i even bring this up with him without making it awkward or whatever.

this is kinda new territory for me and maybe for him too 🤷‍♂️. what if he left it open on purpose or maybe by accident? who knows! i'm just sitting here trying to figure out how to be supportive without being that pushy parent who's all up in his space. do i tell him i know or wait til he feels ready to talk? it's complicated.

you know, years ago this stuff wasn't really talked about much. people kept their lips sealed and we weren't super open about these things in past generations. guess times are different now which is cool 🌈👍but it's still nerve-racking cause you wanna get it right as a parent.

i just don't wanna mess this up ✌️! give him his time and all that jazz... at the end of the day (ok maybe a little cliche there) 😂 it's his life so i'm just in the background hoping he feels safe enough to share when he's ready.

Its enough ive done all I can think of chased down all my demons, ive seen you do the same.

i’m not sure if there’s an age limit on here so i’ll just say it from the get go: i’m a freshman in an american high school. that’s significant. i know this might sound childish to you guys.

since the start of middle school, i’ve played in band as a clarinetist. me and my friend who ill call E bonded quickly since i had prior knowledge of the instrument and he learned very quickly. there were 17 clarinetists at first, the. the next year there were 10, then 6, and now just the two of us are left. it doesn’t matter, since we’re in a larger band. there are like 9 clarinetists and we are all good friends.

i’m a gay guy, i figured that out mid seventh grade. i liked this one boy, we’ll call A, throughout 8th. i was low key obsessed. i had started to grow out my hair, and i didn’t put much effort into fashion, so looking back on it, it shouldn’t have been a surprise when i was rejected by A. over the summer and throughout the fall i’ve felt the agony, i mean i’d been rejected before but never so directly. I got a haircut and had a glow up imo after that.

a few months ago i could kind of feel that thing, like a nagging feeling telling me there’s someone i like. i don’t know how to explain it, but it always seems to happen a few months after you’ve started to lose feelings for someone. all of a sudden i feel some attachment and attraction to several people. it always happens, no big deal. eventually my brain latches onto one of them and the others fade. and that’s usually okay.

but this time, i can kind of feel my brain starting to latch onto E. i can’t stop thinking about him. he’s probably my best male friend, and he knows i’m gay, but we don’t talk about it a lot. he’s never outright told me he’s straight but he has told me about his various crushes on girls. he’s never acted on them, but maybe noticing that is part of my brain hoping for the best. the other clarinetists and us are a very tight knit group, and we talk and laugh a lot during class. i think one of them, a sophomore girl ill call C, has noticed something. E used to always wear his hoodie with the hood on. slowly, he started pulling the hood down. now he comes in with a puffer jacket (we’re in the pnw) and says “i only wear it so i can take it off.”

i’ll be honest. E is a much better clarinet player than me, and so is C. but E doubles on trumpet. he’s just so good. i’m sort of jealous. also he’s skinny, (i’ve imagined him before), and has recently had a glow-up. i’m just scared he’ll start getting an influx of girls and i’ll be left alone. C almost definitely notices my prolonged stares, like randomly during class i’ll just find myself looking at E, and maybe even making eye contact.

OKAY so here’s the point. i don’t want to tell anyone for these reasons:

-he’s straight(?)

-if i did it would make my feelings real

-were freshman, we’ll have to be awkward for the rest of high school. i adore our easy conversations

-i’m afraid he’ll think i’m weird

-not to mention i don’t even fully know if i like him, there are several other candidates

i’m on here so i can get this out with anonymity.

I recently had an uncomfortable experience at a local bank in California, where I currently live, although I'm originally from a Latin American country. I use my foreign passport as ID since I don't have a local driver's license yet. Today, needing a cashier’s check for $3,200 for an apartment, I forgot my passport at home and tried to use my foreign ID card, which the bank teller rejected.

After retrieving my passport, I returned to the bank and dealt with a different teller, a man this time, who oddly started flipping through my passport pages after I handed it to him opened to the photo page while I was entering my PIN. He then began questioning me about having an ID and my time in the US, which felt like an interrogation and made me quite uncomfortable.

Reflecting on his behavior and the whole ordeal just frustrates me further. If this scenario unfolded on a reality show, imagine the drama and the attention it would receive! Viewers would probably be on edge, commenting on how such behavior is unacceptable, possibly rallying for my cause or sympathizing with the headache of unnecessary scrutiny.

It's bizarre and upsetting to think that someone in customer service could make you feel like you're at an immigration interview out of nowhere. My cousins think he might have been checking for a visa or something in my passport. It's just very off-putting and uncalled for. Do you think I'd be too sensitive if I made a formal complaint? Despite working in customer service myself and rarely complaining, this situation felt over the line for me.

If this happened on a reality show, I wonder how the viewer's reactions might sway. Would they see it as undue harassment or just a normal procedure? It certainly would have made for an intense, controversial moment.

A few nights back, I invited two of my good friends over for a sleepover. Both are the same age as me, and we planned to end the evening with some classic movie watching and unwinding. As the night drew to a close, and we began removing our makeup, I suggested they explore and use any of the skincare items from my well-stocked bathroom cabinet. I'm a skincare enthusiast and have a wide collection ranging from inexpensive brands to pricier, high-end products.

Shortly after, my friend Emily came out of the bathroom looking uneasy, and confessed she had accidentally dropped and shattered one of my top-shelf skincare bottles. It happened to be my SK II Pitera Essence, which cost me about $134 CAD. It's housed in a delicate glass bottle and was nearly full as I had purchased it just weeks before.

Immediately apologizing, Emily seemed genuinely remorseful. While I reassured her initially, things took a turn when I brought up the expense of the product. Emily was taken aback by the price and when I gingerly asked if she could compensate partly for it, she declined. Her rationale was that it had been an accident and since I had offered the products for use, she didn’t see why she should contribute financially. Since that conversation, there's been an uncomfortable tension lingering between us, and communication has been minimal.

The third friend who was present stayed silent and hasn’t picked a side, preferring to remain neutral.

Reflecting on this, I wonder how different the situation would play out if it were part of a high-drama reality show. Surely, the cameras would amplify every reaction and corner each of us into justifying our viewpoints more fervently. Perhaps in such a scenario, the tension would skyrocket, possibly leading to a dramatic confrontation or emotional reconciliation orchestrated by producers for maximum viewer engagement.

Should I have asked Emily for compensation, or was I being unreasonable given the circumstances? How do folks generally handle mishaps like these among friends?

I appreciate any thoughts or shared experiences on the matter. 😉

I see my very best friend as my soulmate but a couple days ago she started to talk to this guy online. I feel like I'm being put second to him, in no way am i jealous of their relationship I'm happy she has someone she likes romantically. its only been a 2 days that i feel she's stopped talking or answering my messages. she's my only real friend and I'm scared we are gonna drift apart. We have been friends since we were 9th grade and we are both 20 now, I'm just scared. Am i overreacting and i do plan on saying something if it continues. I'm very scared.