Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Today I had a total meltdown at work and I asked to leave. I went home and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep living. How do people work normally all the time? I get so stressed and overwhelmed and breakdown. I have bad anxiety and depression so I don’t think that helps me at all. I just can’t do this anymore

Hi,

Today is May 16, 2025.

I've tried to ignore my feelings for a very long time now, I've been struggling between different situations, and I'm not sure how long would I be able to keep it up.

It is like today, all the bad feelings impregnated to my brian, are taking over my head.

Today, I feel ugly, fat, not a very successful person, I feel stuck, I'm not progressing, I feel lonely, I'm not a valuable person.

I feel insecure when I look myself in the mirror, I see an ugly person, like there is nothing I can do to change that, I don't like people to stare at me, as I feel, they are disgusted of what they are seeing. I'm financially broke, I have only enough money to eat and basic necessities.

In my job, I feel helpless, a nuisance. It is something new, so I don't have the skills required to execute in that role, but no one is helping, I don't like to bother my colleagues, but I don't understand what I'm doing. I tried to applied for a different job, but they are not contacting me, they are not interested in me, I've received only rejections (another thing to add to make me feel less valuable).

I work from home, so I don't really have so many people I can speak to, it is very difficult to see my few friends, and my sister is always busy, and I don't really like to bother them with my problems.

My spouse doesn't help me either, he doesn't make me feel supported. I feel stressed out around him. He doesn't make me feel loved. I feel he likes to control us and impose us, otherwise, he will get mad, start yelling and insult us, not only me, but my kids too. How I'm capable to tolerate this, what's wrong with me? There are some things we both like, like the music, anime, cinema, technology, but we lack some others, like the adventure, to know new places, to get to know new people. I know we are different people, and we are not supposed to like the same things, but I consider these things very important in my life. When we go vacationing, it turns very uncomfortable, because he begins to see negativity in people and place, he starts making a fuss over a simple thing, which makes me feel uneasy, I've decided not to go with him anywhere. He tries to minimize my older son (who is not his biological son), always highlighting his flaws, making him feel stupid, or useless. Actually, he tries to minimize everybody. I'm trying to understand him, because he had a very difficult childhood (abandonment), but I feel it is not fair for us to tolerate his behavior. I'm not sure if I should leave him, as I know even thought, I'm financially broken, he helps with the house bills and some of the chores.

My mother suffocates me too, she has been always controlling my actions, my motherhood, my adulthood, she doesn't let me be. I think I married, so I could scape from her, controlling my life. My mother was always at home to raise us, so she didn't have like a real social life, besides my siblings and me, so she spoiled us so much, mostly my little brother (who doesn't work nor study), and that's what we are afraid of my sons, as they are so spoiled by my mom. When I try to make distance, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her, for ignoring her. Like I'm attacking her. I'm not sure it was because of her, that I have so many insecurities, and complexities. She was always controlling my father, because my father was and still is a cheater and a sexist, but they are still living together, tolerating each other.

Could this be the reason I'm tolerating my husband too?

Am I guilt of my whole situation?

helloo!! I haven't used this website before so sorry if my story gets boring or messy. I'm currently in year 12 (11th grade i think) and i feel like none of my hard work will surmount to anything. I got the highest grade in my year for GCSEs (final exams) and my family was rly proud of me. I was actually shocked, i thought i would do average. i did a lot of studying but i wasn't sure whether it was effective enough until then. Although this sounds like good news, i still feel like im not going to get into a good university or anyhting. i do have decent academic skills, but my social skills are simply terrible. im rly awkward, and although i have a couple of rly close friends and a bf, i feel like no one else rly likes me. i don't get bullied, but everyone seems to look at me with disgust or maybe even pity. i feel like im jsut bothering everyone by being in school. tbh, the reason i work so hard in school is not just for other ppl's approval, but because i just want to make up for how boring and quiet i am. maybe then i can get a job when im older, but atm it seems unlikely. i can barely hold a conversation, and when i get overwhelmed/stressed in school my face tenses up and i look rly pissed off/sad when im not. no one wants to hire that. plus, it feels like not many ppl even care abt my grades. although the headmaster said i got the highest grades, he gave the "highest grades" awards to two other ppl who are more popular than me. i guess it shows not even the school wants me on stage in front of people. i do sound abt too whiny, i know: i do still feel as if the work i put in will be worth it in the end. but i cant stand how i act in school, i jsut feel like i cant help it. it sounds dramatic, but it feels like my mouth literally sews shut in front of other ppl. how do i fix this?? i just want to stop being so miserable and jealous of others. i dont need to make new friends, i just wish i was approachable anough for ppl to talk to me. sorry, i know its very difficult to respond to soemthing like this. i just wanted to vent mostly. thank u for reading x

Last week, I encountered an exceptionally rude sales assistant while hunting for a birthday present, and I wonder if I may have overreacted because of it. There was only one attendant free at the shop, and it was apparent she preferred not to be disturbed. She avoided making eye contact and would walk in the opposite direction whenever I neared. After waiting around for another assistant to become available and realizing none would, it was getting late, so I reluctantly decided to approach her. Regrettably, her response was dismissive and unhelpful, leading me to resume my browsing alone as I awaited my husband's arrival.

Upon his arrival, it was as if a switch had flipped with the saleswoman. She became eager and attentive, quite the opposite of how she had treated me initially. My attention had been caught by a stylish bag earlier, which I might have even bought for myself had it not been for her earlier behavior. My husband noticed and asked if I was interested in purchasing it, but I refused, particularly because it would mean she’d earn a commission from the sale. Despite my earlier experience, she now seemed more than willing to assist.

A few days later, my husband surprised me with that very same bag as a gift. I inquired if he had returned to the same store and interacted with the same assistant, which he confirmed. Knowing this, I felt compelled to return the bag. I explained to him how her initial rudeness had spoiled my view of the purchase, and that I did not want her benefiting from the commission. While the commission seemed trivial to my husband, the principle mattered to me. He was quite upset when I returned his gift, not understanding why a stranger’s actions should influence our decisions.

Am I being unreasonable?

Navigating this situation on a reality show would undoubtedly amplify the drama. Picture the scenario being replayed to a room full of spectators, each weighing in on the ethical dilemma. Would the public side with my decision to stand against poor customer service, or would they perceive my actions as an overreaction detrimental to what was a heartfelt gift from my husband? Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, often escalating them to entertain the audience.

Dont know how to start, but last year I told my partner to never ever loan money online because I kept on worrying that he would get scammed in instead of getting what he wanted, later on when we were heading home I noticed that he kept hiding his phone from me whenever I would peek, and obviously I noticed something strange as he usually let's me peek to his phone, moving foward is that he told me that he borrowed some money online to buy something that he really wanted (p.s. things are getting a little bit rough fue to financial problems), I was mad but forgave him later on and told him the second time that he should promise me that he wouldn't borrow or loan some money online. Moving foward things are going great we were having fun, but I dont specifically know how I know again but he borrowed money again through online because his reason is that "he was irritated and out of his mind by the we had an argument to each other" which I was angry and a bit sad because firstly notnonly he broke his promise to me but at the same time it feels like it was my fault that we fought to each other. I didn't argue back but just scolded him because it was also affecting me to, as because the cost kept getting higher and he needed help so I lend him some money. I told him the THIRD TIME that he should promise me again and stop spending and start saving money. At this point I dont know why but im slowly losing trust on him whenever he would do something I just kinda accepted it, never argue about it because it will only make things worst.

Recently he reached out to me again that he needed to pay something, which is for the money he borrowed again online, I didn't argue but yet dissapointed, I told him that this time he should pay me back because heck the money he needed to pay is out of my budget, since I "love him" that much I lend him some cash, later on since I was bored I wanted to play with my partner so I asked him out to play with me, and thinking also that he would be easy on me and even be affectionate towards me since I did him a favor and such, i expected too much and didn't gpt that kind of treatment but it's whatever its just a game, during the game there's this figurine he wanted to buy and even told his dad and such and he agreed (p.s. we are only college students that still needed support from our parents) and he wanted to ask the buyer if its still available on the day of his birthday, which he reached out to me needing help to chat the seller and I told him I would do it later as because we were playing, on our last game which he reminded me again that he needed help I told him I would do it later, but he seems soo desperate to ask the seller and decided to ask it himself in a mad tone, which I got angry and he got angry with me saying "I'll do it myself, all ypu wanted to do just to play" which I got furious so I left the game.

Things aren't good with us recently and kept on thinking the things that I have done to him, providing him financial needs whenever he needed to without asking anything in return and even the love that he needed since everything is going rough with him so as much a possible I tried to become supportive, but in return it feels like the more I provide the lesser i get in return, I've been expecting a lot to him, maybe something more affectionate rather than giving me such sexual activities and such, even though i kept telling myself when he's happy then I'm happy but at the same time I don't feel like that.

I can't even confront him my feelings like before, can't even cry out like this in front of him, knowing nothing will happen, I've been distancing my real feelings with him, should I just leave him if this keeps happening, all the vreak prormises that he told me he would srop doing it to me, the things even the little ones he would get angry about, mybfeelings being invalidated knowing if I opened up he will get angry with me or even being dissapointed with me.

I used to try to be a good daughter for my parents, but everyday they were sending me to the edge , Im not gonna talk about details from the past ... But now all I can see and understand is that im a worthless piece pf garbage, I've been neglected my whole life , noone ever tries to listen to me or understand me , I always tried to be an easy going person , only for tem to step on me . Ppl always disrespect me at the slightest chance , in ways I would never do , and that hurts me because I try to make ppl feel welcomed and safe , but noone has ever cared about how I feel , or the fact that I have feelings, I dont remember someone asking me "are you alright" , I've been going through intense depression since i was 13 (im 19 now) , but I never done smth to deserve all the hate I get from my family , I tried to be a good person and neglected myself for that , I never go out , only to school ,never cause problems or anything , and on top of that "used" to have the best grade in my class every year , but never made me feel like I did smth good , I always wanted to hear my dad say smth nice or call me "daughter" but he never did . Now back to the present, i forgot to talk about abuse , but I've been and still get verbally and physically abused by both my parents, it's so ironic how mu dad who cant say "daughter" doesn't hesitate to call me a bitch for no reason , he who never hugged me , doesn't hesitate to hit me with metal objects and leave bruises on my skin for weeks , I just tried ... And tried to understand what i did but never knew , i feel like im going to explode, It's not fair , Im a good prsn , I tried my best , but everyone hates me , I dont know what i did , why are they treating me like this , is it because im always depressed ? Because i dont laugh or cheer up ? How is this my fault? Im both mentally and physically sick because of these ppl , thwy arch to see me fall and never get up , they wante to depend on them so they can easily let me down and break me , i just want for my dad and mo to stop hitting me this bad , and to stop cursing at me and wishing me death every single day . I never asked to be born

So I've recently moved to this busy city where the public transport can be a bit of a joke at times. I mean, it's not exactly reliable when you have places to be. For almost a year now, I've been finding excuses not to drive and rely on the buses or trains but let's just say that's not working out so well. Recently I landed a new job that requires me to travel to different parts of the city. The problem is my driver's license is gathering dust because I haven't driven in years; and the idea of driving in this crazy traffic genuinely terrifies me.

It's one thing reading about how bustling cities function but experiencing it firsthand is something else entirely. My mind imagines all sorts of worst-case scenarios every time I'm behind the wheel: missing a stop sign, misjudging distances or worse! But okay maybe I'm overthinking it... It's just that whenever I sit down in the car, my heart beats faster than I'd like. Everyone here seems so used to it all: zipping through narrow streets with surprising ease.

At this point though, complaining isn't doing much good; bracing myself for fear has become my everyday routine thanks to work obligations. It's funny because back home I loved driving through the countryside without worry about anything other than enjoying music as I drove along empty roads staff cars gave away; until then hopefully practice will make perfect at some point maybe making friends with fellow drivers might help ease nerves too who knows anyway any advice would definitely be welcome!

I'm a Respawner, and I've been planning on leaving this world via respawning and then leaving a stand-in behind. It sounds like a pretty cool and nice idea, but the thing is, the decision is quite permanent and could be risky if not handled carefully (imo). Respawning in general is pretty safe though, and Id be more than happy to respawn to my desired reality. But the struggles in my current reality are really holding me back and I barely have any motivation to respawn or shift realities. I barely feel any love for my desired reality and it's people and I'm wondering why I should continue.

1. I've been trying to shift for a year and a half. I've been trying to respawn for 2 months. I've spent and dedicated a lot of time to this lovely life-altering passion and hobby, and I'd be sad to leave it behind after all the efforts I've made.

2. I'm emotionally attached to my desired reality, to shifting and respawning and to all the people I've made connections with via channeling.

3. This life is shit and I honestly need better. Why not when I literally have the ability to make my life better.

I'm just unmotivated and angry and I feel like not fulfilling my dreams out of pure spite for the universe. But I've tried so hard and fought so much and loved a lot so I'm staying and I'm respawning this December. My plan is to shift to a waiting room and then respawn to my desired reality. I'm taking a calm, directed response to this and I'm trying to manage this at once. I hope my time comes on time and I get to be happy at home. See ya never!!!

I’m really stressed because of school, and I can’t control my situation in any way. I hate it right now, and what makes it worse is that I chose to continue… I thought I could handle it, but I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so damn down lately.

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and my head hurts worse than before. I also have inflamed lymph nodes all over my head because of the stress I’ve been dealing with. I don’t know how to stop it—it just keeps going and getting worse by the second.

I hate school, but I can’t drop out now. I’m only in the second year, and it’s not like I’m bad or anything—it’s just the stress. I want to study, but I can’t. I can’t focus. It’s so overwhelming. I’m not sure if I’m made for this because it makes me feel horrible.

I don’t even have the energy to stand up anymore. Every time I try to study, I end up hyperventilating and crying. It’s not like I’m stupid—I have okay grades—but still… everything terrifies me. If I fail once, I’m scared to take the next exam. It feels like a never-ending cycle.

And my class is strange. They always make sexual comments toward girls. For example, once a friend of mine left class early for an appointment, and the boys kept saying she must have “done something” with the teacher so she could leave. It makes all of us uncomfortable and scared to do something wrong—at least for me, because they’ve said things like that about me too. The same kind of stuff, like I was “under the teacher’s desk.”

I don’t know… I just hate everything right now. Everything feels like too much and stresses me out more than ever before. I feel like a complete failure all the time. I also feel really sick 24/7—I don’t know why, but everything hurts. I just feel so damn bad all the time.

I've been in a constant state of fight or flight, honestly I've been in crisis, since the election. I'm disabled, trans and intersex, other flavors of 'undesirable' in the eyes of the government. I was close to taking my life and writing hotlines pretty much everyday sobbing my eyes out. My psychiatrist said if I refused to be hospitalized (I did) then we were down to Spravato and Electroconvulsive Therapy... Yes, she basically said the only solution was nasal spray ketamine or electroshock. I wish I was joking. I'm allergic to so much that these three things were my only option left. Are my only option, but I'm just done. No. I refuse it all.

There's a decent chance ALL healthcare might be taken away from me soon anyhow.

I decided to give Spravato a try, I was really, really hoping it would work. It didn't. My blood pressure shot up so high I almost had to go to the ER, I couldn't stop panicking and crying, I almost threw up multiple times. I am familiar with dissociation, it's a horrendous feeling I get sadly often, but I can tell the... Cycle of it? I suppose? As in, even when dissociating or having derealization, I can tell when it's at it's worst and when it's staring to wane. With Spravato, not so, it was two hours of being at the worst part of all my dissociative episodes and panic attacks at once with no reprieve. Closing my eyes made it worse, I couldn't even try to sleep to get through it, I had so many nurses coming in and out. A random man who was there also getting Spravato himself came in and tried to talk me and my mother through it and reassure us that sometimes that that even still happened to him. I can remember the talking, but it's more like I'm looking back on a movie I watched, not something I witnessed. All that felt like it was me in that moment was the fear. Nausea. My heart wanting to break through my ribcage, the pain of each heartbeat, rattling in my brain of memories and thoughts both that I couldn't differentiate among other things. It was just too much.

Finally, finally after two hours it started to let up, they took my blood pressure and since it wasn't at a concerning level (it was not normal still but not medically concerning? I think?) I was allowed to come home. I almost threw up multiple times on the ride home.

I was essentially sedated for three or four days after, too tired to tell what I was feeling but knowing I wasn't happy or okay, just too tired to cry or panic anymore. My heart kept beating funny off and on, though, I kept getting chest pain off and on. It's still happening off and on and it's been a few weeks. I'm scared it permanently damaged my heart, I already have so much going on, I can't do it.

All therapeutic effects it had are gone, all the fear and grief and dread and pain are back in full force, my family is trying to convince me to try it again and I refuse. My mother told me, essentially, she liked me better sedated. My pain, my fear for my life under this regime in America with so much being taken away from me (after being attacked just getting groceries two weeks after the election by the way), is an inconvenience so I need to just "be normal."

I can't help but wonder if there's hidden meaning behind "be normal." I could get into the why, I could get into my whole life story leading up to this of medical malpractice, but I won't. It's too much. There's so much I need and want to say but what's even the point?

I suppose I'll end this with something that happened a few days ago that's still hurting me, that was my reason to coming to this site again. I still don't really know how it works, if you can see my other post, but it's pertinent to this if you can. I tried one more time, one more time to reach out to someone to help me, give me help feasible for me with all of my limitations. Admittedly, getting a bit angry, because all the "advice" given even when I explained my situation was things I couldn't do. I tried explaining again, and it was turned back on me. I'm apparently a fascist for saying poor, disabled, non-white and intersex people are being left out of people's consideration when giving queer (especially trans) Americans help or instructions to help themselves. I was apparently posting "fascist bait" and somehow I'm also a Nazi? I don't even know. All I said was that I needed help, I just needed some steps given to me to take to try and get myself safe, to a better place. Then, got frustrated, and said their advice wasn't even advice for me or many others in my situation. It felt like dismissal and a "welp not my problem- figure it out!" and I said so. I said that people need to stop leaving the most vulnerable of the lgbtqia2p community in the dust and this girl got four other people to gang up on me.

I give up. I deleted all social media, I feel hopeless but won't write Trevor or 988, no one wants to help me. No one who can will, because I'm "not valuable" enough. Not to another country, not even to a blue state, nothing at all. I need too much help, have too many targets on my back, and have the nerve to point out that people are pulling the ladder up behind them once they get theirs and seeing certain parts of the community in the dust. Even some trans people are, mainly those of us that are poor and or disabled, intersex and or non-white. Of which I am all of.

And now I sit here alone, sad, thinking about everything and wishing I could close my eyes and wake up anybody else tomorrow. Wake up and find out this was all just a bad dream.

No, I'm not going to do anything to myself, I'm just so tired. If you can see people's past posts on here, again, what I said before sort of gives more context but even with both these two posts it's not everything going on with me.

Goodnight, I guess.

So it's summer and the past few school year i have been really burnt out. I got very little sleep, I could barely get out bed i was often overwhelmed and stressed out and i didn't know what to do. There are so many things I want to do this summer with the base line of wanting to improve myself and get out of burnt out. But i didn't really know how to do that. Still don't tbh. So i tried to put some good habits in my routine (waking up naturaly, no screens untill after breakfast, going to bed at around 23 or so, having breakfast outside. And in the last few days i tried to slowly add a few more like reaching my step count and reading just a few pages before bed. And a i tried 'studying' the pages i've read (highlighting and making notes mostly) just cause, no real big reason just cause i found It interessing and i wanted to. And to be fair, It felt good. I felt really good. But today, i didn't do anything in particular. And i woke up at 5 am feeling restless and anxious and like i couldn't breathe. It's currently June the 24th, 6 am, i can't sleep anymore, i feel like i can't breathe tight, everything feels upsetting and too much even going back to sleep Is too hard, but i don't know what to do about It. It just feels so horrible because I felt like this, this tired, this stuck, this horrible and anxious for years now. During and outside school time. And i was getting excited because I thought that It was finally over that this was finally It and that I was finally making progress but i am not. I'm still waking up like this and crying in the middle of the night and i this feel just as bad and i Just feel so stupid because i don't know what Is wrong with me.

Does anyone else have dreams of falling ALL the time? It's been happening almost every night lately, and I'm at a loss for what it means. 🤔 They come with this weird feeling, like my entire body's just been dropped into some abyss. I've read somewhere that it could be related to stress but who knows if that's true.

My job has been insane, so I think stress might actually be part of it. But seriously, these kinds of dreams are hardly new for me. They've haunted me since I was a kid yet now they're more frequent than ever and it's goddamn annoying. How am I supposed to get any decent sleep with this crap every night?

I've got this routine by now: fall asleep (pass out is more like), start dreaming stupid things (always nice chats where everything's fine), then BAM... Falling into nothingness again! Rude awakening doesn't even cover it. Like dude... my heart races like I just ran ten miles....

Everyone tells me "oh it's normal" or "you're fine" (like they know) but let's face it: waking up in a cold sweat with your pillow literally feeling soaked is NOT fun! What do normal people dream about anyway? Someone pinch me because I'm stuck in this eternal plummet loop and I'm over it.

I’m exhausted from being in a relationship where I feel unheard.

Over the years, I’ve learned to keep quiet—not because I have nothing to say, but because my thoughts and feelings are often challenged, debated, or dismissed. My partner believes playing devil’s advocate adds value, but to me it feels invalidating and emotionally careless.

I no longer share much of what I’m going through because it doesn’t feel safe to do so. I listen attentively when he speaks, but I don’t receive the same presence in return. Even small conversations require effort just to have my voice acknowledged.

I’m tired of fighting to be heard. I’m tired of shrinking myself to keep the peace.

Sometimes I imagine being single again. While that thought scares me, it also brings a sense of relief—because as painful as loneliness might be, it may hurt less than feeling invisible in a relationship.

Happy to be completely anonymous here because I don't want to have any chance to have my sister-in-law finding my story here 🤣😁

My older sibling, Aaron, is tying the knot this coming autumn. His bride-to-be and I share a somewhat rocky past; she graduated three levels above me in high school and, although I wouldn’t label her actions as outright bullying, she and her clique made those days less than pleasant for me. Admittedly, there's been some lingering animosity on my part.

Lately, she's been quite overbearing about the wedding details. This includes throwing tantrums over minutiae—like the event hall’s off-white seat coverings not matching her precise specifications, and a multi-day fallout with Aaron for merely suggesting an alternative cake flavor. Though part of me wants to speak up, I’ve kept silent to avoid family strife.

That resolve ended two days ago. My little sister, who is a bridesmaid in both Aaron’s and our cousin's upcoming weddings, unwittingly ignited a fury when she revealed to my soon-to-be sister-in-law the bridesmaid dresses for our cousin's wedding. Despite the obvious differences in hue and design between the two blue dresses, she accused our cousin of sabotaging her day by "stealing" her color theme.

Following her tirade, I muttered a comment about her acting like a 'Bridezilla' over a silly matter such as dresses. Unsurprisingly, this didn't sit well with her. She stormed off from our mother’s house, later bombarding me with hostile texts and commencing a campaign to have Aaron remove me as a groomsman. While Aaron is exasperated by being caught in the middle, my sister thinks I was too blunt, and our mom has sided with the notion that wedding planning is inherently stressful and deserves empathy—a sentiment I find hard to agree with, given the circumstances.

Imagine if all this drama unfolded on a reality TV show. The cameras capturing every eye roll and heated exchange, zooming in as tensions rise. Her storming out might have been accompanied by dramatic music, and confessional cuts could show each family member's frustrated or defensive reactions. In such a scenario, the audience might even side with me, seeing her reaction as disproportionate, or they might critique my choice of words, pumping up the drama for entertainment. Either way, the episode would be unforgettable.

Hello. I lost my pet pig almost a year ago and am still dealing with feelings of regret and guilt, as well as loss. He was the closest thing I could call a child and a big part of my life for three years.

He was sickly a few times before he died, with loss of appetite and energy. I took him to both a clinic and got a vet to look at him, but didn’t get a lot of answers and was just told to try to feed him. So I did, and most of the times he got better, but then got sick again.

Then he one day after getting a lot better (I thought) got REALLY sick and I panicked since I was sure he was dying. I still lived with my parents then, but they weren’t as panicked as me and said they would help me take him to a clinic in the morning. The vet on call (night shift) also said we probably could wait till the morning. It was Sunday night and I was thinking more about the money than I now wish I did. He died after a few hours of me trying to keep him warm.

I am now learning after researching what I think was his cause of death, that I could have saved him if I gave him early treatment. And pretty easily at that. That has been haunting me since he died, and I can not stop feeling like a horrible human being, and selfish person that cared more about the money than take him to a clinic again after a unhelpful experience.

I felt like I was dying the first week and literally could not sleep because I was crying so much and saw him every time I closed my eyes. I still cry when I see his photos, and more than anything feel like it’s my fault that he died, and that he would have had it better if someone else was his owner.

I’m mostly here to vent, since I don’t really feel like I have anyone to talk about this with. It’s my first time using this site, so I don’t know if this is the correct way to post. If anyone has some tips for getting over mostly the guilt, I would appreciate it. Thank you for reading.