Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Recently, after my mother passed away, I received a substantial inheritance. I decided to keep this sum in a separate bank account, as I haven’t yet settled on the best use for it. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed an unsettling change in my husband's behavior regarding this money. He frequently discusses how I should spend it and makes various suggestions, but lately, he's also been expecting me to foot the bills for practically everything.

The issue escalated during our New Year's Eve celebration. We joined his family for dinner at a local restaurant. Initially, everything seemed normal until the bill arrived, and suddenly, I was expected to cover the costs for everyone. My mother-in-law made a passing comment, half-jokingly suggesting I should dip into my "inheritance pocket" to settle it. Although I managed to maintain my composure and only paid for myself, the situation left me quite upset, and I left the restaurant hastily.

Arriving home, I was alone until about 3 a.m., when my husband came back. He was furious, accusing me of creating a scene, embarrassing him and his family by not paying for their meals. He even suggested that my walking out was a vengeful act related to past grievances about his family’s nonexistent support during my mother's illness. This accusation couldn't be more wrong.

Now, he firmly believes that I've caused an irreparable rift between his family and myself. He argued that it wouldn't have been a big deal for me to pay for the celebratory dinner.

If this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the reaction could be explosive. Television tends to magnify personal conflicts, so my exit from the restaurant might have been replayed in slow motion with dramatic music, highlighting every detail of the confrontation. The subsequent arguments would likely be edited to enhance the drama, potentially drawing sympathy from viewers who resonate with feeling unfairly burdened by financial expectations from family.

Imagine this happening on television; what sort of viewer reactions could it evoke in a live audience or social media commentary?

Was I unjust in refusing to pay for everyone's New Year's Eve dinner?

I hate my life so fucking much.

For the last 4 months I have been feeling so depressed, numb and alone and every night I sittl in my bed thinking to myself what has my life come to and I in the last 3-4 months I have had at least 2 mental breakdown a week ( that isn't me trying to flex in any way ) and cryed multiple times some times to the point I can't breathe or I fall asleep. This has oveousley been since I started college last September and my mental health just went down hill as I wasn't and still am not going the right support at college for my mental health and just over all my other needs That are clearly stated in my EHCP . The only thing I actually asked for and got was a laptop which I have load till June and the only sort of help I get is on a Thursday and Friday form an member of staff . when I should have someone on a Wednesday which again I did. But sadly it only lasted till the October half term as they gave that person to someone else and lefft me with no one and the worst thing about this hole situation is the or staff members of the support system at the college have been lieing to the support person I have on a Thursday and Friday by saying that I have had help in my lesson when that particular starf members wasn't with me and that is all day every Wednesday. I know it's not there fault or mine but surely they know what students need help. I must admit that every Wednesday when I get home from college I end up helping my mum with jobs then I go up to my room and sit on my phone untill it's time for dinner then I do other jobs around the house then got back up to my room and sit on my phone until it's time for me to go to bed. But I don't full asleep straight away or at all as I'm normally up until about 1-2:00in the morning as I end up having more than one panic attack or a meltdown because I'm so overwhelmed or I will cry myself to sleep..

side note the reason I have an EHCP is because I have Adhd.

and as some of you may know 5days before Christmas I got the devastating news that my nan that live in Weymouth sadly passed away and it didn't hit me hard at first but it sertenly has now and I'm feeling so incredibly numb, depressed and lost. and I just can't amagen how I will get through this year and the coming day as we all find out when her funeral is going to be and how I will cope when I'm at her funeral or when I'm back at college.

I feel like we can't talk at all, friends. I feel like we can't talk much on social media. We're judged too much. On Telegram, I'm judged too much. A strange guy came to judge me as crazy. To speak to me in charming, meaningless language. To tell me that what I write formally is hurting the group. Who does he think he is? I can express myself however I want. When I write these posts with beautiful formality, with the desire to see beautifully what's happening to me, what's happening to me, I feel that instead of inspiring him to be a better person, he actually backs down.

How is it possible that posts like mine, which offer such a detailed analysis of my behavior? Very pleasant, very detailed, very beautiful, and also written with refined data, can inspire such destructive criticism as to say that I'm hurting the group, that I'm making it difficult for the group to coexist. Doesn't he realize that what he's providing is an improvement? How disrespectful.

Why, instead of hindering good progress, don't you go somewhere else to do it? There was a guy who wanted to be my ceiling, and I didn't like that. I don't think anyone does. I hate that guy deeply; it doesn't do me any good. Those people who put a ceiling on someone aren't good people. They're always obstacles. By the way, there's a space on Telegram where they tell me that their space is the privileged one for expressing themselves, as if they were the superiors; it turns out I'm very distrustful. It's impossible that I found one of those people in an emotional support group. How is it possible that I found a guy like that?

The previous day, along with a classmate, they told me I was an artificial intelligence. That they should kick me out of the group for that. Can you believe it? I can't believe that because of my writing style, which is what I mentioned above, they considered me one of those things. The problem isn't that; the point is that they told me they should kick me out. How are they going to kick me out after expressing myself? How, after expressing myself through my beautiful writings, are they proposing to kick me out? It was something I couldn't believe. They were monsters. I couldn't believe it. The other guy I mentioned, the one I mentioned earlier, told me I was an artificial intelligence. He insisted, even when I told him no thousands of times. The guy I mentioned earlier insisted, despite being scolded, that I was an artificial intelligence. They even went so far as to claim that my writings couldn't have been written by a human being. I felt extremely offended, angry. I'd never encountered such an offense to myself.

It was like feeling like I had no place anywhere, friends. That my voice, my words, my desire to improve, had no place anywhere. It was one of the most terrifying experiences I'd ever experienced. How could they kick me out of anywhere for expressing myself? Besides a place of support?! It was something I couldn't believe. I wanted to die after that. I never thought I'd have such an experience, ever. Besides, my writing was beautiful, pretty, precious, and didn't bother anyone. They only considered it harmful because it bothered others, because their writing style wasn't theirs. Because I wasn't like them, should I leave? Or should I lower myself to being like them? Everyone's writing is a very personal thing; or rather, their improvement, because that's what I aim for with these writings. It's working with anxiety. How the hell could they frame my process? That's harmful to anyone's health! Both physically and emotionally! How can monsters like that exist on social media? I still can't believe it. It was a truly terrifying experience.

I just wanted to write calmly in that Telegram group. Relaxed, calm. And that's what happens to me. Also, for a long time now, I've been in need of consolation. I confess, I need to talk a lot. I feel very accomplished about things. I feel like I need to talk to someone, but they're not there. She's a girl who should have arrived a long time ago, but she hasn't. I don't know where she is, and I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do about her. I feel like something happened to her or something. I don't know where she is. I swore I'd leave her—I confess—so I could get her out of a negative situation, so she'd somehow reach out to me, and yet she hasn't. I've seen it work with other people, but not with me. Well, I'm being grim: I respected her space. I feel like that's why she should come. Knowing she's with a respectful person, who gives her peace, who doesn't control her life. Why isn't her life coming? Could it be that someone managed to control her life and I don't know them? I feel like she doesn't value the effort I'm making to wait for her. I don't know what to do to run into her. She was supposed to be my life partner, at least, that's what I expected. I feel like I wasted my time looking for a way for her to be with me, also for her pleasure. It can't be that she did this to me, it can't be that she's I'm going through this. This is hell. How could I have lost her?

Hello. I just been wanting to get a lot of stuff of my chest lately. Not much people I can talk to about. Actually, none.

I envy a lot of people. People who have their life together, people who are able to express theirselves freely, people who are productive. People. I cant seem to be the best version of myself. How hard I try. To put it short, I am a lazy, priviliged, selfish person. I put a mask on to fit in society, maybe to feel properly loved. It seems even they dont want my mask. I wanna give up. Why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to fit in, to be myself, to bask in freedom? I know my cries are meaningless. Other people have it worse, anyway.

Life... Isnt the way I pictured it to be. I dont want to be this person anymore. Why should it be so hard? Why cant I be a better person? Im just a piece of trash on the sidewalk.

the Mayor is a busy and hardworking man on my street who has taken it upon himself to police us little people from his house on the hill.

I used to be really good friends with his daughter. growing up we were always together, I was over their house a lot like she was over mine so I'm not really sure what made him lose his mind.. perhaps he got old. maybe he was always crazy and was born with it.. I remember hearing about his brother who lost his mind MANY years back, apparently his brother beat a few men senseless.. all went to the hospital except for one... then he went to jail.

I remember all the times the people littering would drive him crazy. all the times he got in his car and followed people to their homes to throw the garbage they dropped into their car windows or on their lawns, how he made large colorful signs and found ways to zip tie garbage cans to the stop signs and telephone poles on the corners.

I remember hearing about his daughter... from his daughter, my friend, and I was so confused. I thought she was talking about herself in third person until I realized she had a sister much older than her that went to the same school as I did and who ran away from home because her parents were way too crazy. she said that her room was originally a different room but as soon as her sister left, climbing through the window and out onto the deck, they redid the room and moved her in there, putting big things like trees and a gazebo to block the windows. she said from that point on her parents were different, they hovered and lingered more, they pulled her out of school and enrolled her in expensive private school, blaming the public school for not only her sister's disobedience but probably the sister's gayness as well. I remember her parents installing cameras around the inside of their house as well as secretly having spyware in the TV's, phones and computers to record times, conversations, passwords.... she found out because we shared account information for a game that we were playing together so sometimes I would go on her character to collect things for her or level her up, vice versa. she said that whenever one of her friends would comment about a sign on at a weird time for her she would just assume it was me... until she signed on my account to help me out by collecting when I got punished for something I didn't do or deserve. she had never signed on my account before so she thought everything was ok.... then her mom, the same lady who would slap her openly in a store or yell and embarrass her in front of classmates and friends, asked her if she had anything to say for herself.. anything she was hiding or lying about. of course she was confused, she had no idea what was happening and her mother probably didn't explain anything either. she ended up grounded and started to ask to use my phone and computer more often, even when we were over her house. She admitted to me that she was using my stuff to talk to some guy she had a crush on and that she hid the number of an unapproved guy in the hole in her wall she got from kicking a soccer ball in the house. when her dad found out the whole only got bigger, he called that kid countless times over a week threatening him and then made a deal with her that if he would answer her call and talk to them they would allow her to see him again but of course he never answered the phone. gradually we stopped hanging out with all the activities they had her doing but at some point I had graduated from school and she was going to too. They were going to throw this huge party for her and invite their friends and family but days before he flipped out on my family about our fence.

At the time, before we even knew about plans for a party.. it was Spring and we had wanted to replace the rotted out pieces of fence before the dogs got out. We weren't going to ask for money but since it was originally his fence that he put and we shared that one side, we figured it would be safe just to let them know. From what I heard it went well, the mayor had said he wanted to fix it but with him being a really good handyman and master carpenter his back was shot, he asked for some time, again no worries we weren't asking him to fix it or anything. we actually needed more time to decide on the fence since we were going to go for the full perimeter fence and not just at one side or section. he said nothing about a party and nothing about not having money, we weren't even asking for money.

weeks went by and with no word from him we decided to go ahead and order the fence. it took days to be delivered and once it was delivered it look another few days to put it up ourselves. they didn't offer help or money, we didn't ask. we did it fast like that not only for our dogs but also not to really inconvenience anyone. just as we finished the fence and planting some of the plants and flowers we got it had started raining hard so we went inside. apparently this bothered the mayor. it rained the rest of the day... let's say it was a Sunday with work the next day, obviously no one came out for the rest of the night to do anything with the fence. the next day, Monday all day people would be working.. at least on our side. the mayor can't work long with his back apparently.

we came back home to the mayor's wife waiting for us. she nicely but very awkwardly said that we should finish the fence because they were going to be having a party Friday. we apologized for the inconvenience and finished the fence, planting some more before it got dark and rained again. the same thing happened, the mayor was unhappy thinking we left garbage for him to clean or didn't care much about his property even though it was raining. Tuesday it rained so the progress was halted but Wednesday we went back after work to fix a panel of the fence, we were even nice enough to plant some flowers on their side of the fence, put some dirt and fertilizer with grass seed down too ..yeah it wouldn't grow until later but it was something right? we were happy with the job on both sides and sealed the fence again, officially done with the fence. no one said anything, no one gave money... the next day Wednesday or Thursday he went out there and ripped all the flowers we planted on his side out, he moved all the dirt away and blew the seeds away. we didn't say anything to them about it. they got ready for their party on Friday and partied all weekend long... some time during the next week he typed out an anonymous note with all of our transgressions from living next to them and put it in our mailbox. we knew it was him right away and when we asked him about it he played dumb and then him and my stepdad had a screaming match outside. for the next few days he would randomly walk out on his deck, yell out of his house windows or from his porch "YOU'RE MAKING ME FIGHT WITH MY FAMILY" and play loud music in his house and in his yard and cars. he would prank call the police like if we were doing it and set off his car alarms and put car alarms at all hours too. to this day he's never apologized, his wife never apologized or said anything about his behavior, same like his daughter. I thought at the very least she would say something but no. he's dead to us, they all are.. but his behavior has only gotten worse. he's nitpicked other neighbors and sent them letters and had screaming matches in the front yard.. to the point where he messed with a Mexican and you had ALLLLL the Spanish from the area on our block and in his yard at 3am shirtless, chasing him around screaming... even the Spanish women were out there cursing them while holding their kids.

i don’t even kno when it got this bad. maybe it was always like this, and i just never really noticed. or maybe it happned so slow that i didn’t even see it comin, like a room gettin darker when the sun sets—you don’t realize how bad it is until ur just sittin there, completely in the dark. but here i am, and the truth is i have no one to talk to. no family, no friends, no one who actually cares whts goin on in my head. i wake up, go to work, do wht i have to do, come home, and thats it. days blend together, weeks go by, and i cant even remember the last time someone asked me how i was doin and actually ment it. at work, it’s just small talk, the same fake smiles, the same empty convos about the weather, weekend plans i dont have, and tv shows i pretend to watch just to have somthing to say. and honestly? i don’t even think they’d notice if i stopped showin up. they’d just replace me, move on, forget i was ever there. that’s the worst part—knowing that i could disappear, and it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

i keep tellin myself to fix it, to reach out, to try harder, but it’s exausting. every time i even think about talkin to someone, my brain convinces me it’s a bad idea. they dont really care. they’ll just think ur pathetic. what do u even have to say that matters? and so, i say nuthing. i sit in silence, drownin in my own thoughts, lettin them eat me alive bc, really, what else am i supposed to do? and the crazy part is, i see people every day. i work around them, i pass them in the street, i hear them laughing in restaurants, talkin on the phone, making plans, livin life. but it’s like i’m on the outside of it all, watchin through glass, completely invisible. i wanna say something, to matter to someone, but i wouldnt even kno where to start. nd after a while, u just stop trying. u stop hoping. u stop expectin anyone to care. and maybe that’s the real problem—not that i have no one to talk to, but that i’ve stopped belivin that will ever change. maybe i already gave up. maybe i never had a chance.

I’m a reallyyyy shallow person I feel like my feelings are fake and I know on some level that’s impossible but I always have no idea what is foing on with me and I’m scared to say anything about it aloud. Not because I think I have to deal with it alone but because it’s fickle and it’s gross I don’t like it I really don’t understand it.

I swear I can feel my forehead. and my head gets stuck in these hell spells where there is a thought that physically weighs on my brain it hurts and it won’t stop till it drills me into accepting or complying to its will even if I don’t agree with it. there is something swimming in my head it drives me crazy . As much as I joke about my forgetfulness forgetting so much is fucking awful bc, again, you know this, I know this, but it keeps happening anyway with any problem I have, I’ll lose my train of thought or I’ll forget details of how a situation played out in about a day. I’ll know on a surface level what happened but it’s like killll meee I can’t even be miserable without my dumbass intervening somehow

Dude I cant see anything that happens to me as bad afterwards it’s like ‘wow… that’s an event.’ but when people confirm so its like holy whiplash I wanna take back anything I said so fast because everything’s fine, it genuinely is sometimes but it’s not at the same time

Because if i stop thinking about it it’s gone and if i wear someone else’s skin, even just for a while, i won’t have that problem in the first place

I’m in this cycle where I hate living like this I hate me I hate everything, then it’s all perfect and I wonder why I had ever thought this way until it comes right back again. I cant do this anymore I swear it hurts too much this is killing me it is going to kill me one day

I wrote this slop sometime last night im fine again. it’s not explained well but I know it will only keep coming back (this is happening so often in the span of a week), any opinion appreciated im just lost. does anybody feel the same? does anybody know what is happening? does anybody know how to make it stop?

I don’t really have companions because, truthfully, I never tried much to make them. It seems I’ve lived isolated for the most of my life. I do have a family—my parents are around—but beyond that, I’m on my own. As a kid, I was the shy one, and over the years, that shyness turned into a preference for solitude. It’s as if I constructed my own quiet little world and, oddly enough, I don’t seem to crave the company of friends as much as one might think.

However, there's something I crave far more than friendship – and that's affection. I don't harbor any ill will towards people. I’m certainly not a misanthrope. Yet, there’s a longing in me to experience simple human affection, like holding hands with a girl, or perhaps even sharing a gentle kiss. These are the modest desires I pine for, the chance to build an intimate connection from such tender beginnings.

Despite painting myself as somewhat righteous in these matters, I worry that my lack of a social circle might turn off potential romantic interests. Maybe it won't be an outright rejection, but there could be a hint of suspicion, a wariness that might eventually push her away. The thought lingers that this might lead to me spending my final years alone, without ever having known intimacy.

How would this scenario play out if I were thrown into the dramatic world of a reality show? Cameras recording every moment of my solitude, the audience witnessing my awkward attempts at human connection—could the added pressure provoke sympathy or ridicule? Would they see my loneliness as a peculiar quirk or a relatable struggle?

If the public were to step into my shoes through the lens of reality TV, I wonder if it could change their perception. Maybe they would cheer for my small victories or feel the sting of my setbacks. Either scenario is daunting yet strangely alluring.

My boyfriend asked for a break recently, but its not the mutual type of breaks. He never listens and never puts in consideration MY own feelings. He hurts alot sometimes but I really love him and dont want to lose him. My lifes bullshit

Most of my life I've had mental illness and other issues, due to trauma and genetics. Despite the many efforts and treatments from therapy, my anxiety and depression has worsened. It has lead me to become a somewhat dishonest person. I'm 24 years old, but still have no idea what to pursue job/career wise. When people ask, my responses include near future plans to enter a college/job or answers that I'm still looking into it. Neither are true. After talking with many others to get advice, working on my confidence and skills, taking work quizzes, having a job, etc. There was absolutely nothing that peaked my interest enough to go for it. I already have given up, but feel that no one will understand and keep pushing me to find something when there's nothing to find. Something must be terribly wrong with me because, my dream life is to be unimportant to the world and be alone. A life where no one is expecting anything of me and knows nothing about me and won't ask. I know people need jobs to survive, but I don't even care to survive, either. Not even that motivates me to work. My current job is to care for my close relatives children while they work. I love them and we have so much fun, but they are so difficult to care for at the same time. The youngest has food aversions and is not caught up on mental or vocal development for their age. My current guess is that they have autism. The reason I think this besides the similarity in the symtipms is because the older sibling has asperges and a mood disorder and adhd, the oldest child had Adhd as well. It just runs in the family. It's immensely difficult to navigate. Right now, It's only 2 hours a day, but in the summer when schools out, I will more than likely become overwhelmed. In the end of the summer, I'm planning to move away, but don't want to tell anyone where I'm going out of the embarrassment. Maybe, it's right of me to be embarrassed because I'm willingly putting myself into homelessness ans giving everything away to go to a homeless shelter. There is no intention of ever becoming not homeless. I'm tired of living with people who need rent money and need me to work and know what I want to do with my life when all I want is to be able to survive and show kindness and respect to others. That's literally it. I'm not looking to be in relationships or reach huge milestones. Idk why I'm never motivated to be like everyone else, but nothing has been able to change it. I convinced myself hard to be like them hoping it would force a different reality on me. It didn't. I feel like a broken person and although, I will never take my own life over it, I so just wish I could pass away some other moral way. Is that wrong of me? Is there something I should of tried that I never did? I just feel helpless and ashamed.

I don’t know when exactly I started feeling like this, but lately, everything just feels heavy, like I am carrying a weight that nobody else can see, and no matter how much I try to shake it off, it just stays there. I wake up, go through the motions, smile when I need to, pretend everything is fine, but deep down, I keep wondering what the point of all this even is. What are the reasons to live when everything feels like too much? It is like my brain keeps whispering that nothing really matters, that I am just stuck in some cycle of existing without actually living. And maybe that is why I started thinking about reasons to live, because I know there have to be some, even if they feel impossible to see right now. The first reason, I guess, is that feelings are temporary. I have had bad days before, bad months even, and I got through them. I know I won’t always feel this way, even if my mind tries to tell me I will. The second reason is that there are still things I have not experienced, and I don’t want to leave without knowing what is out there. Maybe there is a city I have never been to that would make me feel alive in a way I never imagined. Maybe there is a song I have not heard yet that will give me chills or a book I will get lost in. Maybe there is a person I have not met yet who will change my whole life. And even if it takes time to find those things, I think they are worth waiting for. The third reason is the people who care about me, even if I sometimes convince myself they don’t. I know that if I disappeared, there would be people who would feel the weight of that forever, and I don’t want to be the reason someone else carries this kind of pain. The fourth reason is that I still have choices. As much as it feels like I am stuck, I know that life does not have to stay the same. If I hate my job, I can change it. If I feel lonely, I can try to reach out. If my life feels empty, I can fill it with new things. Nothing is set in stone, and that means there is always a way forward, even if I don’t see it yet. The fifth reason is that I have survived everything that has tried to break me so far, and that means I am stronger than I give myself credit for. If I made it through all the hard days before this, then maybe, just maybe, I can make it through this too. The sixth reason is that life is unpredictable, and while that can be terrifying, it also means that things can change in ways I never expect. A year from now, I could be in a completely different place, with different people, feeling completely different than I do now. And if there is even a small chance of that, then maybe I owe it to myself to stick around and see what happens. The seventh reason is that I don’t want my story to end like this. I don’t want this to be the final chapter. I don’t know what comes next, but I want to find out. Maybe the reasons to live aren’t always loud and obvious. Maybe they are just little things, like feeling the sun on my skin, drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, hearing my favorite song at the perfect moment. Maybe they are things I haven’t even thought of yet. But they are there, even when I can’t see them, and I am trying to hold onto them, even when everything in me wants to let go.

Long story short, I have an online friend whom I formed a very close bond with /p. We would talk almost everyday. A few months ago, she stopped talking to me, informing me that due to family emergencies, she is overwhelmed and needs some time by herself. I understood that and waited for her, even though, I felt very lonely. She came back for a very short time and then said she's becoming inactive again, due to more family emergencies happening. Again, I tried to understand.

She came back after her family emergencies were finally over. We started talking again, everything seemed to be back to the usual. Until 3 weeks ago, she said she needs to focus on her exams and I understood. I stopped talking in our private server altogether because that's what I always do whenever she's gone. When I trust someone, I tend to talk a lot. That's why I held myself back to not overwhelm her.

A few days after she said that, she came back, sending a voice message talking about a situation she told me before she went on a break/hiatus. But I wasn't home and I couldn't give her my full attention. So I decided to leave it for later and I forgot (For better or for worse). Then a few days *after* the VM, she messaged, saying she ruined one of her exams and she needs to delete Discord to "lock in".

When she first said that, I was very upset. Because like I said, I stopped talking to her to let her focus on her exams. I didn't want her to get distracted by my messages. I felt like she's saying it's my fault... Because I'm the person she talked to the most on Discord. Also, it begs the question what the heck was she doing when she first said she needs to focus on her exams? I thought that was her "locking in".

But also, the amount and the lengths of these breaks are getting ridiculous to me. She started talking to me only for a month (Maybe even less) before she disappeared again. I know you have to understand that your friends might need some alone time and that they're not available forever. But I'm genuinely starting to get scared :,).

The thing is, due to a lot of my past "friends" taking advantage of me, I've become very paranoid. The moment the smallest thing happens, I start to feel like that this friendship is over... I don't always talk about them to my friend because I know sometimes my thoughts are irrational. (I was paranoid even when she disappeared because of her family emergencies, which was a very valid and understanding reason :,).)

Another thing is I'm an only child and I generally grew up very lonely. So when I feel attached to someone, it's hard to let go. I'm not saying this to garner sympathy. I'm just explaining why all of this is making me panic and why my attachment to my friends can get in the way.

Seeing that the number and length of her breaks are becoming longer, I feel terrified... This particular friend feels special to me because not only she fuels my artistic side, she also has been the most understanding and supportive friend I had...

I'm not saying I don't have friends outside of social media. It's just I just found new friends after moving back to my hometown and it will take a while for me to trust them and talk to them the same way I talk to this friend. So it feels really lonely for me right now...

It's not that I'm not busy at all, I'm probably more busy than my friend because aside from classes and studying, I also have a part-time job and my university's Psychology Association. But whenever I have free time and I check Discord and when I see our private server being inactive, it really hurts...

But I still feel selfish for feeling this way... I know I should be supportive and understand my friend no matter what and not always think about my own benefits. But it feels a bit tiring to wait for so long for your friend to start talking to you again, only for your friend to disappear again.

During her hiatuses, we would sometimes send Reels to each other that were like "Thank you for being my friend!" "I'm proud of you!" and these days when I send one, she either doesn't open my DM's despite occasionally posting on her Stories, or takes forever to leave a reaction or something. She also stopped sending me any, which really breaks my heart... (Yes, she hasn't deleted Instagram. An app that is arguably more distracting than Discord...)

The other sad part is that her birthday is coming *somewhat* soon and I wanted to be next to her to celebrate. I was planning on doing a simple drawing of her OC to celebrate, maybe even VC and talk about stuff. But I have a feeling it won't get acknowledged just like the Reels...

I'm sorry I know I sound selfish and petty through this. I don't know what to do. I really miss my friend. But I'm starting to feel like maybe our friendship won't work anymore... Because I feel like after starting to talk to each other, she's gonna disappear again and I can't take it anymore. It hurts so much that I can't help but feel upset. It kind of makes me not want to talk to her if she came back... My paranoid side feels like she's found new friends and that's why she's become comfortable with leaving me behind. I'm not saying it's bad to have other friends. I'm saying I think I'm being replaced...

I'm sorry again. I feel really pessimistic about this, even when I try to not judge quickly and be understanding. If anyone has any advice for me to cope with this, I'd appreciate it.

I was watching nana edits, it's an amazing anime and I love it. Gonna get a tattoo. While I was watching it tho..my lamp blinked 3 or 4 times. I thought the power was gonna go out but nothing else in my room was doing that. Not the fan or anything. It stopped, idk why but it kinda felt like a kind ghost just letting their presence be known. I feel like a ghost, it feels like my friends and family have their relationships figured out and feel connected. I wish I had something like that. When I wanna die, I think about my sister and the playlist I made when I think about her. I watch videos about girls losing their older brother. Sometimes I really do just wanna leave earth, like right now, it feels good to finally let my feelings out like this. When I think about dying, it's silly but I think of a hot guy and he's my boyfriend, kissing him and stuff, that's all I want during my last moments, I'd be pretty content. I don't think anyone would really care THAT much if I killed myself. I would plan but I try not to let myself get to that level. I'm also a degenerate which doesn't help during dark times, like they're having fulfilling social fun while I e-sex men or plan hookups. I feel like a doomer, that was something I was worried of becoming yet I'm just here.

I'm 18, I turn 19 this year tho. idk why but aging is scary, like nothing to do with looks or anything but it's like life is serious and I'm on a ride that I can't stop and it's gonna keep going up. It's too vast, overwhelming, I can do anything now but like what, yaknow. I guess that's why I just resorted to sexual shit. I don't like this vast dull feeling tho, idk how to stop it, it's like stopping from being happy about shit I'm supposed to be happy about. Like I'm graduating this year, I got the hairstyle I finally wanted, gonna get a job, gonna start my career, gonna party, club, concert, dance, travel. I don't understand why my happiness isn't here...

My ex and I stayed friends. I genuinely tried to grow from yk what he told me when he broke up with me. I’ve been thinking about distancing myself from him for a little bit but tonight sealed the deal. He and his friend were having problems. If I’m being honest, he was being self centered while

His friend came to him about an issue with their relationship. Though it’s not my friendship. But what hit the nail on the head of whether or not to leave him was the fact he dropped my name in their conversation. He said “this is just like how OP and others act.” I had nothing to do with that and he had no business bringing me up solely. So I asked him straight up “wtf was that name drop” and said oh I feel bad.and that oh but that stuff is solved. So why tf do you feel the need to bring up me in a conversation not about me? That shot was unnecessary. And then he said “but there is some stuff that’s been bothering me.” It’s impossible to make him happy. I have tried so hard. And there’s still grievances he refuses to say. That’s why we broke up in the first place. I’m actually so tired of this.

My husband, Ted, and I co-own a charming lake house on the shores of Lake Michigan. This place, while jointly ours now, was initially Ted's before we exchanged vows, a detail that becomes significant as this story unfolds. My sister, Eliza, has had the privilege of using our lakeside retreat since Ted and I began our romance. Eliza has always been the exemplary guest—tidy, respectful, and meticulously careful to leave the house in impeccable condition.

However, Eliza's relationship dynamics shifted when she started seeing her current boyfriend, Dave, around a year ago. Unlike Eliza, Dave lacks appreciation for cleanliness and order. Dirty dishes, empty drink containers, and miscellaneous messes seem to trail behind him, and he invariably relies on Eliza to tidy up after him. Dave also shares custody of two vibrant youngsters from a previous relationship, but places the majority of caregiving and housekeeping duties on Eliza, despite the children being his responsibility. Moreover, I've witnessed him demand Eliza fetch him a beer while she's busy, which leaves me worried about how he might treat her when we're not present to see. Given how chaotic their living situation sounds, due to Eliza's demanding 60-hour workweeks, I’m baffled yet touched by how deeply Eliza seems to adore Dave. She speaks of him with shining eyes and a voice filled with affection, as if he were her entire world.

Given this backdrop, when Eliza asked if they could use the lake house recently, I hesitated but eventually agreed, thinking, "What’s the worst that could happen?" Ted and I had plans to visit the house anyway, arriving a few days after them, which meant our paths would briefly intersect.

Upon our arrival, the scene was disastrous. The stench of decayed food hit us first. A mound of unwashed dishes occupied the sink, the floors were sticky, and crayon artworks adorned the walls. Walking into the living room, we found Eliza frantically trying to manage the chaos, while Dave sat passively, beer in hand. I couldn’t hold back; I snatched the beer from his grasp and confronted him about the mess. His indifferent shrug and insistence that one person’s efforts were sufficient infuriated me further. Outraged, I demanded that Dave and his children pack up and leave within the hour, threatening to involve the police if necessary. Ted supported my stance, dismissing Dave's glance for backup.

Eliza was visibly hurt by my actions, arguing that I had ruined their peaceful getaway and dismissed simpler solutions to the issue. She claimed I had no right to the house as I hadn’t purchased it myself. I countered that Ted, the rightful owner, backed me up. In the emotionally charged moment, Eliza decided to leave with Dave.

That evening, a heated phone call from my mother questioned my decision to expel them. She urged me to embrace new family members despite differing lifestyles. Now, with my mother displeased and Eliza avoiding my calls, I'm left pondering if I might have been too harsh.

Imagine how this story would unfold in a reality show environment! Cameras capturing every dramatic moment, the audience watching Ted and I arriving at the chaotic scene, and the intense confrontation that followed. Would viewers rally behind our demand for respect and cleanliness, or would they criticize us for lacking empathy and flexibility?