Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

What do you think!

When I was a teenager, I stumbled upon pornography for the first time, and like many young men, curiosity quickly turned into a routine. At first, it felt like an innocent exploration of sexuality, almost like a rite of passage. But what started as occasional viewing during adolescence somehow became a deeply ingrained habit in my adulthood. Now that I am married, I find myself watching even more than before, despite having a loving and fulfilling relationship with my wife. This contradiction puzzles me 🤔. How is it that I can share intimacy with the person I love most, yet still feel compelled to seek artificial stimulation through a screen? I have read about dopamine reinforcement, novelty-seeking behavior, and the escalation effect in behavioral addictions, and these explanations make sense scientifically. Still, emotionally, it feels like an unresolved battle between rational understanding and impulsive action. Do you ever ask yourself why something so artificial can hold such a powerful grip on our brains?

Over the years, I noticed how pornography consumption gradually shaped my expectations. It was not about love, affection, or connection anymore; it became about intensity, novelty, and the endless pursuit of something new. This mirrors the very mechanism of tolerance seen in substance addiction, where the same stimulus loses its impact over time, pushing one to seek greater extremes. I started to recognize certain patterns: I would use it not only for arousal but also for stress relief, boredom, or even avoidance of difficult emotions. This realization made me feel trapped, as if the habit had infiltrated parts of my life where it did not belong. I confess that the shame cycle is real—after watching, I would feel guilty, promise myself to stop, but then repeat the behavior. And the paradox here is that while I acknowledge the addictive tendencies, I continue to rationalize them because of their accessibility, anonymity, and perceived harmlessness;

Yet, I try to maintain hope 🌱. I have begun to view this struggle not as a moral failure but as an opportunity for self-awareness and growth. I am learning to set boundaries, to replace compulsive behavior with healthier coping mechanisms like exercise, meditation, and open communication with my spouse. I truly believe it is possible to retrain the brain and regain control, just as one would in cognitive behavioral therapy or any structured intervention for maladaptive habits. When I reflect on it, I realize pornography does not define my masculinity, my marriage, or my identity. It is simply a habit that I allowed to grow unchecked, but habits can be reshaped. I share this here not to seek sympathy but to remind myself—and perhaps others—that it is never too late to make a change. Have you ever wondered if what feels like an unbreakable addiction might actually be a doorway toward deeper resilience, discipline, and authenticity in life? If so, maybe we are not as powerless as we sometimes think 💪.

As the title stated. I'm 27, male, living with my narcissist mother. I'm severely mentally ill. I also may have a disability but I can't afford assessment. I can't leave because I have no money. Been consistently applying for jobs. No one wants to hire me. I'm tired, angry, frustrated, and hopeless. I can't commit suicide, because I have a cat.

My cat is the reason I'm even here this long. I love her to death. Her name is Melissa.

My mom is trying to kill her. I see her using toxic sprays that can harm her. She over feeds her. I educate her on why. She pretends to understand but will do it behind my back. When I confront her, she acts stupid like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. Consistently lies to my face.

This been 7 years... And it's getting changing me for the worse. I want to hit her but I can't do that to my mother.

I want to runaway, but I can't leave my cat alone with her.

My cat is my savior. All I ever want is just to have some form of financial freedom so I can leave my mom, block her out of my life, and have my kitty be in a safe space with me.

But I guess that's too much to ask for.

I'm scared to rehome her. I also don't want to rehome her....my cat is VERY aggressive around strangers. The thought od betraying her and rehoming her will make her not trust anyone. She's very defensive and territorial (she's spayed).

I don't know what to do.

I fear if I leave her to shelters, they will just euthanize her... And my god, the thought if that will kill me.

I have had an idea...but even in this ve t space, I'm not comfortable opening up. But if I turn 30 and I don't see any improvements. I have an idea to bring me and my cat peace that we deserve at last.

I went to my school carnival, it was fine, I guess. There were many people, and I only went there to buy some merch and stuff. I saw my classmates, said hi to a few of them, but otherwise I didn't do anything with them because they had their own groups doing their things, but I think I dressed well and I got a strawberry keychain, a small Amazonite tumble, and some stickers of K-Pop Demon Hunters and a chemistry version of "Iconic" with moments captured, to say, "Iconic moments captured". But yeah, it was fine, mom got some magnets, my brother hung out with his friends. Honestly, my loneliness now felt more hollow than sad. I told my mom maybe I was destined to be a hermit, and she said, "Even they live, and stop whining. We need to get something." And when I told her no one really greeted me, not that I expected them anyways since I belong in the garbage, she said, "It'll take time, please." Take time, it took 7 years. When we came home after a nice Oriental meal, it was really filling, mom noticed I end up scratching myself way more due to my eczema, and mom admitted she knew why because it gives relief, but when I told her I also do this because when everything goes to hell, I don't have friends, I score low in exams, I stop drawing, scratching is the only thing I'm good at. Mom looked at me weird, told me I live a privileged life, and that when her parents split she was worse off for a while, but weirdly, after I told her "Maybe my problems aren't real." And she said, "You think I said that? Try to think positively for once. It's a slow process." It has been 7 years already, I've given up the search for friendship and love, because to me, it's now a sin my body still wants. In fact, why bother with people? Love and friends are a risk, a liability, and scratching and thinking of doomsday is the only reason I'm alive. It's the only way I'm not getting into bad situations, because I don't trust people. I have eczema, I do get a relief, mom knows. You may say, "Oh stop this self-harm!" But this is from eczema, I've always had this. I have! It's just gotten slightly worse over the years in terms of skin. But it doesn't matter, because as long as I'm not getting an infection or at risk of dying, I'm just suffering a skin disorder. Even mom doesn't get it, because she's an idiot! Why do I even trust her!? She deserves to leave, and so does dad, and my brother who rubs salt in my wound by calling me "friendless", "ugly", "short", "stupid because you scored low marks" on a daily basis thinking it's a joke. I get it, you have more success than me! I'm a flopped movie! But one man who I forgot the name of was right, "People is hell". Hell is other people. That one author of "No Exit" was right. People are disgusting creatures. I may have yelled at mom today, but that's the freest I've felt. Hurting disgusting creatures is easier than living with them, considering I'm a warrior in a world of Hell. Making them feel bad with my harsh words. Hell is other people. Mom is delusional for wanting hope. I've hoped long enough, and it's a mere childish thing. We humans perceive things in our own ways, we may not share the same sights at all, and maybe the real world is just nothing, and we projected ourselves onto it like beings orbiting a mass in nothingness. It's some physics theory I heard somewhere. Her perception that it'll get somewhere is her being a human. My mom is forcing it down my throat because she's another mass of life my poor brain created wanting me to suffer. I'm right, aren't I? Isn't the theory correct? Isn't Sartre correct? Aren't I intelligent? Isn't my perception theory correctly recollected? Me being smarter than my peers, even the guy who told me the perception theory as a joke, I reflected and made it make sense. Guts thrived in being alone, he left Casca for 2 years to help himself after she got trauma, and he lived. He reflected so much, all when being isolated. From his team, his girlfriend, to beat Griffith! At least he had a reason to fight, what am I doing? People are anyways uncultured, stupid, mean, ugly pigs who deserve nothing, anyways. I'm really starting to get Dio and Kat from Euphoria more, people are trash! No wonder Dio became a vampire and Kat became who she is, people are trash and he's rightfully ashamed to be human. People are pigs because I'm better than them. Even my classmates are pigs. And you may also say again, "Oh but try therapy!" Enough with the therapist talk! My dad will never let me go to one ever again! I can never ever go to one because it's a fantasy dream! It's just a life I can never have, so the best I can do is just move on or trust mom, which she's already labelled "pig" in my head because parents slow down their children. I'm no longer hating myself, I hate everyone else for thinking I'm a freak for seeing the truth. Nothing matters because nothing exists. I'm a god in a world of pigs. I was only born as a girl unfortunately. Not that I feel gender dysphoria whatsoever, but people are pigs.

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

“i feel like crying, i don’t feel like myself / this isn’t like me at all” — TWICE, TT

2026 was supposed to be my person year. a year where i’m putting myself first, to do things i love without judgement, u know how it goes. but it’s been january and i feel like i wanna unalive.

the anti-ai bullying is getting worse each day. i mentioned previously that it’s hard to be a synthographer bc ur most likely to get an “ai slop trash” comment than a praise. they’ll trash u, fuck u up, until u snap. i guess that’s what’s happening to me lately. it’s getting problematic for me and everyone i know.

i thought that art is meant for everyone, but why does everyone think that we’re stealing images with actual creativity that gets run thru the machine? why does everyone think i’m a fraud; that i’m not fit to be part of multimedia arts course? why does everyone accuse someone of using chatgpt just by using an em dash? this greater internet fuckwad theory is getting too much man. putangina.

and hey, don’t get me started on anti’s antics. the witch hunts, the accusations, the constant bashing, even memes. don’t forget nightshade and throw in that NO-AI.gif too. “we got demons in the comments section,” says oliver tree in one song, and i think there is on every comments section.

i know that society expects u to get ur shit together, but rn i feel like i’m falling apart. i’m confused, overwhelmed, overstimmed. for fuck’s sake, i’m already losing interest in synthography bc of school. there, does that make u happy? are u happy that i can’t generate anymore bc i don’t have wifi? are u happy that u won from constant bullying? are u happy that u flip off an ai billboard or write anti-ai graffiti on a subway ad? be fucking honest, ARE U HAPPY?

i’m so tired of this bullshit. there are times where i wanted to look for some inspiration, but i end up doomscrolling instead. fuck all of this man. i can’t take it anymore. once again, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

I feel like I’ve been asking myself this question forever: what does sexual attraction feel like? People talk about it like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like it’s just there, obvious and unavoidable. But for me, it’s never been that way. I hear my friends talk about how “hot” someone is, how they’d love to get in bed with them, how their brain just goes there automatically. And I sit there, nodding along, pretending I get it, but I don’t. Like, I get attraction—I can look at someone and think they’re beautiful, handsome, interesting. I can even feel connected to someone emotionally, like I want to be close to them, to spend time with them, to be something with them. But that pull people describe, that physical craving, that feeling of just wanting someone in that way? I don’t think I’ve ever had that. And I don’t know if that’s normal, if I just haven’t met the right person yet, or if maybe… I’m just wired differently.

I’ve been reading a lot about asexuality lately, and part of me feels like it explains everything. But another part of me is terrified to accept it, because what if I’m wrong? What if I just haven’t unlocked that part of myself yet? What if I’m just a late bloomer and one day it’ll all make sense? I don’t want to label myself too soon and then realize later that I do feel it, that I just hadn’t experienced it yet. But at the same time, how long am I supposed to wait? How long do I keep pretending I understand something that, for me, has never been real? And then there’s the fear of what that means for my future. If I am asexual, does that mean I’ll never find love? Will people see me as broken? Will I always feel like I’m missing some huge, important part of being human? It’s overwhelming. I don’t have the answers, and I don’t know when—or if—I ever will. All I know is that I don’t feel the way most people seem to. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s just who I am. But right now? Right now, I just wish I knew for sure... 😥

My husband has always had custody of his son. I came in the picture when he was 1 years old. Bio mom shows her face a few times a year. Normally on holidays when she likes to throw a fuss that she IS the mother and deserves to see/have him for holidays but otherwise doesn't bother with him any other time. Just for back story she has never worked, never provided for the child in any way, has never bought clothing or furniture or anything of the sort for my son. She also has another kid about 9 months younger than my son. And amongst a plethora of other issues, she will occasionally DEMAND hand-me-downs from my son because her other child "deserves them"/"deserves to feel close to his brother." To the point of questioning me when i list up things on Facebook market place as to why I am doing that and not just giving her the things. Or when I list them on freecycle again throwing a tantrum that they were not offered to her first . When he does outgrow toys that were given to him by her (which doesn't happen often because they are usually cheap and break before that can happen) they are offered back to her. But seeing as how my husband, his family, my family or myself solely support my son's every want and need i feel it is within my right to do whatever I want with what is ours and think it is ridiculous she thinks she has a right to them in any way.

you know, at 50, one imagines life with a bit more zest. instead, i find myself clocking in to a job where i literally have nothing to do. "getting paid to do nothing" is, strangely enough, as dreary as it sounds. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the paycheck arriving steadily at my bank every two weeks like clockwork, but, man, can you believe the drag of it? when you're expected to produce, to innovate, you feel like a cog in a productive machine. but here, it’s like waiting for a bus that never comes, you know? a project deadline that's perpetually "in-progress," that’s my life now. i've got all the time in the world to binge-watch every show on Netflix or memorize entire catalogues of podcasts, yet—spoiler alert—it does not fill the void.

ever tried to detail your productivity in a team meeting, while knowing you have zilch to show? i sit there, nodding my head to folks discussing "quarterly KPIs" and "optimized strategies,” but inside i’m just hoping nobody asks for updates. a part of me thinks perhaps this is a lesson in patience or maybe even a karmic cycle from when i was overly busy and craved some downtime. irony, huh? sometimes i wonder if my situation is like one of those zen stories where when you seek nothing, you find everything. i mean, have you ever thought that maybe pointless tasks are just undiscovered forms of meditation? albeit ‘corporate zen’ sounds more plausible in theory, it doesn't feel entirely satisfying in practice. would love to hear if anyone else is dealing with workplace ennui. maybe trying to merge this twilight zone of nothingness with fulfilling activities outside work is the key. have any of y’all gotten out of a rut like this before? share some wisdom, would you?

I recently connected with a woman named Sarah via an online dating app, and we swapped a few messages before deciding to meet for a coffee. The initial meeting was somewhat dull but pleasant enough, and after having coffee at a local cafe where I picked up the tab, we agreed to continue our outing at a nearby park.

We drove for about half an hour, enjoying some casual tunes and small talk on the way. Arriving at the park, we strolled around, engaging in light conversation about our jobs and hobbies.

Suddenly, I needed to use the restroom. When I returned, I found Sarah chatting animatedly with another guy. As I approached, it was clear he was flirting with her, and to my surprise, she introduced me as just a "friend." He then asked for her number, suggesting they should meet up for a drink. She quickly agreed, they exchanged a warm hug and a cheek kiss, and he left.

Feeling quite put off by the whole thing, I made up an excuse and left without her, driving back home alone. I felt a mix of annoyance and relief as I didn't have to endure the awkward ride back.

Sometimes, I wonder if I acted too hastily, or if it was the right call given the situation.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show? The cameras zooming in, capturing every awkward expression and the tension in the air. I bet the audience would have a field day analyzing and reacting to every detail, possibly sympathizing with me or criticizing my quick exit. Would I come off as the villain, or just a guy dodging a bullet?

Did I react too harshly by leaving the date?

digital marketing. Selling digital products. Like ok that lek sounds easy BUT WHEREEEEE like I was signing up for one but it don’t have PayPal TFF U MEAN???? like I was having so many creative ideas too like ahhhg why like I need somewhere where I can sell ANYTHING AND CAN USE PAYPAL FOR MY STUFF and that web looked so promising 💔 until the stuff they said werent pro were pro?

Be it at school or anywhere else i always feel more disgusting, or fatter then the other people even tho no one ever told it to my face.

I don' t know what it is, but i just can' t help but think like this, and when i start thinking like this it makes me feel like i consider myself way more important then i truly am so i sort of start stress eating i guess?( which turns into later regrets and fasting😕)

It's weird and maybe a load of nonsense, but i can't help but wonder if i'll ever get rid of this self image that i created🤷‍♀️

I have no talent, no real passion, im average or below average at everything I do. I resent my friends because they know what they wanna do, they found what they like to do, they have talent or just happen to have a fixation w something, which I don't, im boring. When people ask me what I've been doing w my life I don't know what to answer while I know that question its just an excuse for telling me how much they've done with their lives, I have never ever achieved something for my talent or something like that. im afraid im going to die without the pleasure of having done something of value while everybody around me feels like giants stepping on me while they walk. It got to a point where I don't know who am I, what I want or what was I made for, I feel stuck and spiraling through this angry sensation of everyone just achieving everything they want while im rotting in my 0 potential.

I’ve been dating my current GF for about a year now. I do love her and we were friends for a few years before we started dating. But she recently told me that she is ace(asexual). I want to be physically intimate in that way with the person I am dating, but I thought I could give that up to stay with her.

Now that I’ve given it some more thought however if things become more serious between us then I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with a partner who isn’t physically attracted to me in that way.

But if I do break up with her I’m afraid I might lose her as a friend as well. I don’t have very many other people in my life outside of my family who I am close with, and after recently losing some close family members I am hesitant to lose another person who I care about. My GF is also going through a rough time lately and the last thing I want to do is add a breakup on top of that.

I don’t really know what to do in this situation, and I also don’t know if I’m selfish for wanting to end the relationship over this. If anyone has any advice I would very much appreciate it.

ever had one of those holiday flings that just knocked you on your ass???? well, that was me this summer. spent almost a month with this guy and damn, those were some of the best days of my life!!! first real love, you know??? now i'm back home and honestly, it feels like i'm missing a part of myself. it’s been 4 months and i can’t shake him off my mind. 🤷‍♀️

back then, everything was freaking perfect. sun, sea, and him—the trifecta!!!!!! we did all the typical touristy crap, but somehow, it never felt cliché, just magical. every night we'd hit up the beach, talk about shit, and it was like our souls were vibing, ya know? or maybe it was just the cocktails talking, hell if i know!!! one night, i swear, he said he loved me. and i believed it. god, was i naive for buying that??? but in the moment, i didn't give a damn. 😏💔

now back home, drowning in real life bullshit. college sucks, friends are the same old buzzkills, and doesn't help when all i think about is him. texting is alright, but it's sooooo different than hanging out. 🙄 long-distance blows. what’s the point?????? can’t help but wonder if he even misses me or moved on. was it all just a sick joke???? but if it was, why was it so damn sweet????

everyone says move on, "there's more fish in the sea," right???? i'm not buying that crap right now. it’s annoying how everyone pretends to know better. like, maybe I want to hold on to this pain a bit more, learn from it, i guess. love is a goddamn emotional rollercoaster. anyone else ride this hellish ride too???? honestly, i just want to scream and maybe slap some sense into myself. but hey, life goes on, yeah???? just wished he was still in it...

In my line of work, there are periods when I'm either completely out of cellphone range or buried in tasks where phones are prohibited. These blackouts are not random; they're scheduled way in advance and usually eat up the entirety of my day due to stringent safety protocols I must follow.

At the time my wife, Emily, was nearing the end of her pregnancy, I had arranged to take leave around her due date to ensure I'd be there for the birth. However, life threw us a curveball. Emily went into labor almost a month early, right when I was deep in a no-signal zone conducting an inspection. I didn't get the news until I regained signal, and by then, everything was over. When I finally reached the hospital, my wife had already given birth.

That event was about a year and a half ago. I've strived to be an active and present father since. Yet, the issue that keeps surfacing is Emily's constant reminder that I missed the birth of our child. It seems to come up in every kind of argument we have, from serious discussions to trivial chats about which fast food to pick up.

Today, I hit my limit. The trigger was a debate over whether to switch our child's daycare to a more conveniently located one near our home. I handle morning drop-offs, and Emily does the pickups. The daycare she prefers, though closer, is significantly pricier, and we simply can't swing it financially. In the heat of the argument, she threw the missed birth in my face again. I lost my composure and told her she needs to move past this and stop bringing it up in every argument. This didn't sit well with her, and she stormed out, calling me a jerk.

Am I really the bad guy here?

It’s interesting to think how this family spat might unfold on a reality show. The audience might be split, with some empathizing deeply with Emily for experiencing childbirth alone, and others siding with me, understanding the uncontrollable circumstances I was under. Reality TV thrives on such personal conflicts, sparking debates and perhaps even audience polls to gauge public opinion on who’s being unreasonable. The drama, while personal, could make for compelling television, encouraging viewers to reflect on the balance of professional obligations and family life.

If this were a segment on a reality show, what do you think would be the viewer's reaction?