Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Man, I just gotta get this off my chest, like for real. I’m 16, right? And my relationship with my mom is the absolute worst. It’s crazy how different she is with my little sister, like she practically worships her or something. It’s like they’re best friends and I’m just... there. 😕

Every time I walk into the room, it feels like I’m stepping into a battlefield; she gives me this look that just screams annoyance. Like, what’s up with that? It’s not like I’m a total jerk or anything. I mean, I try to keep it chill, but every little thing I do just seems to set her off. “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” is basically her daily mantra. Seriously, how am I supposed to compete with someone who can do no wrong? It’s exhausting. 😤 My sister is sweet and always gets the praise. I don’t blame her, she’s cool, but jeez, a little love for the older sibling wouldn’t hurt either! I can’t help but feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around my mom. Even things like asking her for a favor seem to ignite a volcanic eruption. “I’m too busy, why don’t you just handle it yourself?” Like, okay, I get that you have a lot to juggle, but come on, don’t I deserve a little consideration? I mean, it’s only fair. I’m a teen trying to navigate life and school and whatever else comes my way. Just last week, I asked her if she could help me with some school project ideas. She hardly listened and just told me to Google it. Like, really? I get that independence is important and all, but there’s a fine line between being supportive and being dismissive. 😒 My friends joke around about their moms being “just a little bit overprotective,” but I’m over here just wishing for some attention!

I honestly can’t figure out what I’ve done to deserve this treatment. I’ve tried talking to her about it but every time I bring it up, she makes me feel like I'm whining. “You need to toughen up,” she says. I’m like, what am I supposed to do with that? It’s not like I’m asking her to hand me everything on a silver platter. I just want some recognition, you know? Like... occasionally ask about my day or show a little interest when I’m venting about a bad test or a friendship issue. But nah, it’s always about my sister's dance competitions or her latest cute outfit. I can’t help but feel like a second-class citizen in my own home. It’s frustrating, to say the least. And the worst part? When my friends are over and see how affectionate she is with my sister, they definitely notice the strong contrast. You could cut the tension with a knife! 😳 I can’t help but wonder if she even realizes she’s doing it. Maybe she’s caught up in her own world and just doesn’t see me. I’m there, but I feel invisible. It’s kind of like being the background character in a movie where everyone else gets the spotlight. Is it wrong that I want to yell, “Hey! I’m here too!” I constantly catch myself daydreaming about what it would be like to have a mom who genuinely had my back. It sounds simple, right? Just someone who’s on my side, cheering me on instead of the constant critic. Is that too much to ask?

I hear my friends tell stories about their moms and I can’t help but feel this wave of jealousy wash over me. They have those heart-to-heart chats that I would honestly die for. 🤦‍♂️ Real talk, have I done something specific that triggered this? Or does she just have a weird preference? Why does it feel like I'm in competition for her affection? I don’t need to be her favorite, but a little balance would be nice! So yeah, sometimes I just wanna scream, "I hate my mom," but deep down, I know that it’s not really that simple. I guess in some ways, I still want her to notice me. I don't know, maybe I'm imagining it all, but it sure feels real to me. Thanks for hearing me out, this has been building up for a minute!

man are any of you on buspirone? it's this pill that's supposed to help with the anxiety but like does it actually do anything? i started taking it last week cause my doc thought hey let's try this out since nothing else seems to work. but i'm not feeling anything different. kind of feels like i'm just popping candies here. anyone else? cause i've read that it's supposed to chill you out but all i'm getting is an empty wallet and a handful of useless meds.

like what the hell, right? ahhhh!!! sometimes i wonder if these docs even know what they're talking about or if they're just throwing pills at me and hoping something sticks to the wall. when i asked my doc about any real effects they gave me this vague "it takes time" crap. seriously?? how much longer should i be waiting???

so anyway, every day it's like pop another one and wait for some miracle that ain't gonna happen. talked to a couple friends who said give it another month or so.... screw that! i'm already three weeks in - where's my peace, man?

why can't shit just be simple?? they say this thing will calm your ass down but whenever i take it and sit in traffic my mind still races like a freaking formula 1 car!!!! it'll be nice if someone here has actually felt a difference after using buspirone... tired of stabbing around in the dark here!

sigh... maybe i'm just being harsh but if there's no change soon do you keep going? there's gotta be others out there frustrated with this stuff too. what're we paying for... placebos?! so fed up!!

I swear I tried everything, but nothing ever works out for me. Every time I start something new, I suck at it. People always say "oh, you just need to practice" or "you’ll find your thing, don’t worry," but what if I don’t? What if I’m just bad at everything? I tried studying different subjects but nothing sticks. Math? Forget it, I barely pass. Writing? Takes me forever to put a single sentence together, and it still sounds dumb. Science? Idk, all the terms just go in my head and disappear like five seconds later. And don’t even get me started on anything artistic. I can’t draw, I can’t play music, I don’t have any of those creative talents people show off online. I look around and see everyone has something, like they’re naturally good at sports or coding or fixing things, and here I am, struggling to even find one thing I don’t completely suck at.

It’s not just school either. I tried manual work, like building stuff, and I always mess up. My dad once tried to teach me how to fix a sink, and somehow I made it worse. Tried helping a friend with his car and nearly broke something expensive. People tell me "just use your hands, it’s not that hard," but my brain don’t work that way. It’s like my hands and my head don’t connect properly or something. Even basic stuff, like learning to cook, I mess up. I once burned pasta—pasta bro, how do you even do that?! I feel like no matter what I try, I fail at it. And then I see other people who don’t even try that hard, but they’re just naturally good at stuff, and it makes me feel like maybe I’m just not meant to be good at anything. Like some people are just born talented, and then there’s people like me who can’t even figure out what they’re supposed to do in life.

I wish I had at least one thing, just something I could say "yeah, I’m good at this." But everything I try just proves over and over that I’m just average at best, useless at worst. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop of trying, failing, feeling like crap, then trying again because people say "don’t give up," and failing again. It’s exausting. And what scares me the most is that I have no clue what I’m gonna do in the future. Like, how do you pick a career when you suck at everything? How do you even function in the world when you got no skills? I don’t wanna be a loser my whole life, but at this point, I honestly don’t know what else to do.

To preface, yes, I am still a young adult, and logically I understand that I have many years ahead of me and many more people I've yet to meet. But I can't help but feel helpless about my current situation.

In brief, I'm deeply in love with my best friend and I have been for just over 2 years now.

As for the messy details, both of us were in relationships not that long ago, both with people in our wider group of friends. I broke up with my partner partially due to not knowing if I was ready for a long term relationship, partially due to festering guilt over my feelings for this friend (which I had since before getting into that relationship). He broke up with his because they didn't feel compatible, and he is aroace and wasn't able to meet their romantic needs.

To me, he is one of the most attentive, kind, funny, and wonderful people I have ever met. I am not a people person, and even people I like drain my energy. But I feel like I need to spend time with him to recharge. Of course, nobody is flawless, I just find him absolutely irresistible. Maybe it would be easier to deal with these feelings if they were clearly unrequited, as I assumed they would be considering his identity, but this isn't exactly the case?

He doesn't really drink, and even when he does he almost never gets drunk. The first time he ever got truly drunk around me was after we were both newly single, and he told me he loved me and that he felt a way about me he'd never felt for anyone before. I didn't want to take this 100% seriously considering how drunk he was (he didn't even remember saying it!) but he repeated it again later, sober. Since then, we have become very close. In my eyes, and in the eyes of those around us, we act essentially like we are in a relationship. Yet, we don't call it that. It's 'nothing official', and he doesn't want it to be anything like that. To make it messier, neither of our exes know about this, nor do our friends in that particular circle.

It's painful and confusing; to be held through the night and cooked breakfast in the morning, to be kissed and told I'm lovely, to be told "I love you," and know there is an undertone of "Not quite in the way that you mean it." (This is something we have directly discussed and that he has told me).

I feel like I need to be loved romantically and the security of a relationship. I am also not asexual and would like sexual intimacy he has no interest in—he will do some things on request but it seems more like a service to fulfill, so I don't really ask. I know this situation is not healthy. I just don't think I can bring myself to be distant with him. The time we spend together is when I can feel the most at home in body and mind, and he's helped me feel happiness like I've never felt before. He has quickly become my rock, especially as I have recently become physically unwell quite quickly, and he's taken on burdens in looking after me with no complaints.

There is no way I'm falling out of love with this man any time soon. I'm stuck like this, swinging between euphoria of spending time with him and insecure spiralling about his identity or lack of attraction towards me. He wants things to carry on as they have been, but I don't know if I can handle that. But if I were somehow able to tear myself away I think I would feel just as much pain, if not more, mourning our closeness. I think I'm doomed either way.

TL;DR: I am in a messy, doomed situationship with my aroace best friend.

I still feel like Im the odd one out at college even though I've been there for 5 weeks now. I also hate college.

I feel so alone and I hate my life .

I was talking to someone from my old school on Monday and she said how was college going and I said it was going ok but only when the tutors are thire and she also said I seamed a lot happier. But I'm not any happier at college because I'm always having to fill out from about myself that they should all ready have.

I’m not looking for advice because I know I’m gonna get an abortion I’m just shocked. Condom broke, neither of us realised, I got pregnant. I’m getting an abortion this weekend and I know it’s the best choice I’m just scared. No one’s explained to me what’s going to happen I feel so embarrassed. 😭

Am I the problem? I've been asking that question all day. Every time I feel like I'm helping/trying too or protecting/caring for my friends/people it seems to never work or I cause problems more, more stress and more drama. Sometimes I don't even mean to hurt I'm just trying to fix things

maybe it some weird thing I do but every time I do something I think/Be live is right or helping it doesn't seem to work out and in the end I lose people more or I end up making wounds bigger and deeper. I've lost friendships and relationships to my "mess ups" so I get hated or hurt myself because I don't mean harm, sometimes I can be a lot but really all I want to do is heal and care for people, maybe I'm to "helpful" maybe I "cause the drama" maybe I'm not supposed to help and maybe I'm meant to be something different. I want to be happy and help others find the joy I found but maybe I've got it all wrong maybe people don't need me or want help and maybe I'm trying to fill some void that's been empty for years.

in the posses of "helping" You end up losing more than you "gain" overall...

To anyone who knows me/finds this. I'm so flipping sorry for trying to be something you don't need. I'm sorry for making it worse. you can fight me, hate me, say whatever you want to because clearly I'm meant to have a different story then I thought.

ur thoughts?..

Sometimes I feel as though, out of all the difficult partners one could end up with, I somehow ended up with the most challenging one. While I do believe I love him, there are moments when I wonder if we’re truly a good match. I often hear friends in strong relationships say that despite any hardships, loving their partner has always felt natural and easy. For me, it hasn’t felt that way—it often feels complicated, and that leaves me questioning whether we’re truly compatible.

Part of the challenge seems to come from the way he processes things. He tends to take a very long time to think before committing, agreeing, or even engaging with something, which can make even simple issues feel unnecessarily drawn out or difficult. At times, it feels as though he deliberately complicates things—almost like he’s testing me to see how I’ll handle it—which feels exhausting and unfair.

There are also dynamics in how he communicates that I find troubling. For example, he often insists on sharing his opinion, almost as if not doing so would mean his voice has been silenced. Yet, if the roles are reversed—if he has spoken but I haven’t—that imbalance doesn’t seem to bother him. To me, this feels selfish and inconsiderate, though there was once when I asked why does he always need to share his opinion even if he knows it will hurt someone, he frames it as part of his cultural upbringing. Personally, I see it less as a cultural trait and more as a learned behavior, especially from his mother, who carries a similar need to always assert her perspective.

While his mother is undeniably intelligent and accomplished, she also often comes across as dismissive or overly certain of her own views. Unfortunately, I see that same habit reflected in him, and it can make our conversations feel one-sided and draining. At times, I wish he could simply listen and observe without feeling the constant need to interject or assert himself.

Soo.. I'm gonna be on my last yeah of hs this year. And the pressure is high.

So growing up i've been getting average and sometimes higher than average grades. In my country although 75 is considered passing in special science schools 85 is the passing grade, with 90 being the average and therefore the grade every student sought after including myself.

90-93 has been my consistent grades throughout elementary, my mother didn't really push me to study because as she said I was smart enough that I only need to listen to the lesson and be good to go. And it worked at first.

Entering Highschool I didn't really have to learn to study because well it was online and I just searched up the answers. By 9th grade when we had our first face2face I barely got 90. It didn't serve as a wakeup call, nore did 10 grade when I graduated with 91%. At senior high, in the first semester midterms, they gave us the grades we got. i got 88%.

Still passing I know, but my parents, my mother especially, started this whole thing.

For context my sister is in college, tuition is barley covered and my dad works his own business that isn't getting much customers. Although my sister got a scholarship that gives her free tuition, the school was too far my sister would have to live with my grandma. Which made my dad worry about her health, i don't really get the reason.

So now it's my responsibility to get a good scholarship. My parents are ok with sending me to that same school they didn't want my sister to go to because 'I can handle myself'. But still since my 88% I've been pressured to get better grades. After a shit ton of studying I got 92%in my first sem grade. With my second sem being 96%, mostly with the help of joining a contest which the training lasted the whole first half of the second semester's midterm, then a big dance contest against other schools that got me pulled out of class and me and the other dancers got a grade no lesser than the previous. So because I got 96 in my previous I also got 96 if you got what I mean.

Anyways I understand why my parents are stressing over college, sending two daughters would not be possible with my dad's income. But I kinda blame my dad for not sending my sister there.

Idk, im already looking through scholarships on different school, started studying now too. But i also dont like that I'm reminded everyday that if I dont get a good scholarship one of us would not be able to go to college at all. Suddenly I want to go to school agshahahhahah

hi I'm fox(19 female)

so about 1 years ago I joined a youth group for lgbt teenagers, there I got re-acquainted with a friend (firefly 21 male) I met 5-year prior. a couple weeks later he some of his friend(butterfly 21 female) & ( Hound Dog 21 male) joined the youth group . I'd seen both of his friends before but had never really talked to them , anyway we all became a friend group. that summer I got particular close to butterfly and I realise I really liked her and I wasn't sure if she felt the same way until, firefly told me he absolutely believed butterfly had a crush on me as well. so we went on flitting for at least 9 months. one day I was planning to meet up with her and talk her how I feel, so a week before I sent her a message as her if she was free to meet up, she didn't answer me for 2 months , of course after 1 week I asked the others if they had heard anything. Hound dog, said he hadn't heard anything, but firefly said that butterfly was just going through somethings and didn't really want to talk ( of course this hurt me a bit but anyway). over the next 3 months firefly keep reassuring me that it had not to do with me. in the 3rd month firefly eventually, told me and butterfly that we need to talk about because it was "effecting his mental health " ( side note I understand that this was a complete normal response if I had been as him question but he was the one who would ask me if butterfly had text me back. )

so butterfly and do have a conversation about it. from the conversation I understood why she didn't text me back. I had still have feelings for her and firefly knew this. so one day he said I don't think she ready for a relationship. which made sense until, not even a full month later he released he had feelings for butterfly. and they got into a relationship.

so I bit my tongue and pretend it didn't bother me.

now you maybe wondering what did Hound dog think about this hole situation. he completely agree and supported me. (side note: Hound Dog and firefly are no longer friend, has for me and firefly, well that complicated, you see firefly is the type of person who you feel like he'll get himself killed at any moment so I still want to keep an eye on him. ) so now comes the reason why I'm writing this,

2 day ago butterfly opened up to me about how she didn't feel good about the relationship and that she felt really low in energy when she around him.

for any you want to know yes I still have feelings for her but I'm suppressing them

So my question is what do I do?

if you have any questions please ask and I'll try to answer them in an update or in the comments.

An ex-partner falsely accused me of sexual assault to get revenge.

I have been harressed. How likely am I to get assaulted?

I don't know what to do.

I'm FTM and I don't think my parents fully understand what's going on or what could happen. They're great supporters, but most of the time when I'm around them (or any other people in my family for that matter) my dysphoria is at it's worst. They'll do things that very obviously show they still see me as a girl and it makes me feel terrible. I don't know if I should bring up how I want to get on puberty blockers because of how they've said binding will damage (even though I have brought up on many occasions I know how to do it safely) and I'm scared they might also say that for the blockers. I think they know how at risk trans people are for su!c!de but aren't willing to accept that I could possibly end up having those thoughts in the future. This type of stuff is called life saving for a reason, and just because I'm not having those thoughts now doesn't mean I won't in the future. I also think they might be completely oblivious to the fact I have dysphoria (and I have brought it up with my mom before).

Honestly I just get exhausted around them. Usually, when I'm having fun with them they'll randomly bring something up that reminds me of how they still view me. My dad still deadnames me a ton, even right after he corrects himself, and both my mom and dad just misgender me in general. My little sister is the only one in the house that kind of understands who I am and actually repsects that (she was the first one I came out to for a good reason). I don't know what to do, especially since serious sit-down talks mess with a lot of my emotions and I have no idea how to bring this stuff up.

I'm a 29-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 30. We've been in a relationship for four years, and I have two children from a previous relationship that he hasn't adopted. Recently, his good friend invited us along to a couples' retreat that was to last four days. The event promised to include couple’s massages, romantic dinners, and more. We were all set to leave today. Once he told me about it, I immediately began searching for a babysitter for my kids.

Despite my efforts, securing a babysitter proved impossible. Their biological father rarely takes them, and their grandmother prefers to showcase them on social media rather than genuinely spend quality time with them. Normally, my boyfriend would ask his mother or sister-in-law for help since they’re close by, but he didn't make any moves to do so this time. In a last-ditch attempt, I contacted them myself yesterday, but they were unavailable. I assumed since I couldn’t make it, he would also choose to stay behind.

However, to my surprise, I woke up at 5 am today to find him packing his bags. Confused, I inquired about his actions. He matter-of-factly replied, "Uh, packing? I need to leave by 7 am to meet George." I questioned why he was still planning to go on a couples retreat without his partner, and I pointed out that his lack of effort in finding a babysitter suggested he might not have wanted me to attend in the first place. His response was curt: “If you wanted to go, you should have found a sitter. I don’t have time for this.”

Upset, I watched him leave after he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. About 15 minutes later, I received a text from him showcasing his luxurious suite decorated with flower petals, champagne, and even a heart-shaped bed. I responded with a simple, "Have a good time." He interpreted my message as hostile and replied accusing me of being clipped and unfairly blaming him for not finding a sitter. When I mentioned that a little assistance with the babysitting would have been appreciated, he called me an asshole and overdramatic.

In a hypothetical situation where these events unfolded on a reality TV show, the dynamics could potentially flare into an explosive situation. The cameras would magnify every emotional response, turning our private disagreement into a public spectacle. Viewers would likely be split; some may empathize with my plight while others might side with my boyfriend, arguing about responsibilities and commitments in blended families. The tension and drama would make for compelling television, but at the cost of personal pain aired for entertainment.

If you were me, dealing with this kind of partner response, what would your feelings be about this whole situation?

Sometimes i feel like sort of a burden. No one really talks to me, i usually have to start conversations. Or when the other person starts the conversation its just a quick one and they give off that they dont wanna talk to me. Maybe its just me but i miss being someone’s first choice. Would anyone choose me as their first option, or will i always be the side friend who people come to for advice only.

It’s pretty tiring but it’s ok, i have my gf. We dont talk much bc we’re both busy most days but i love her so much

ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we've had many ups and downs but we have always worked through them. this time it's different, no matter what i do or say, he doesn't want to work through it. in september, he had broken up with me, this lasted for about a month. just as he met other girls, i met other guys. i had fallen into old bad habits and talked to many people knowing i wasn't over him at all, i just felt so empty. i looked for him in everybody i met but it just wasn't the same. at some point after a month, he reached out to me and after some talking, we got back together. he told me the truth about all the girls he met, who he tried to get with, and what he did during that time. even though i did the same, i lied to him about meeting people and only told him about how i missed him and fell into bad habits. i was afraid of him getting upset or jealous so i continued with this. he had somehow found out that i lied to him and i came clean to him about everything. he told me to tell him the full truth in detail and i did just that but he doesn't believe what i say anymore. i wrote him a 3 page letter addressing everything i did and apologizing countless times, after that i wrote him paragraphs of explanations he had ask me for. he keeps asking me for a "real" explanation even though what i explained was the full truth. he tells me i don't know how to love when in reality i love him more than anything and ive done so many things for him that really show the extent to how much i love him. i understand that he doesn't trust me anymore and that he has a right to feel that way. but i feel so ashamed of myself, and im genuinely so sorry for everything, i just don't know what to do anymore. he has been texting me today saying things like "u cant even give me the truth" and i haven't answered him at all. ive been crying about this all day and i feel so depressed about the fact that i really messed things up for good. i dont know what do do anymore, i know that he won't accept what i tell him and i understand completely. i just want to fix everything, but how am i supposed to? sorry this is so lengthy lol