Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I've been noticing lately that my best friend doesn't seem to be okay. It's a subtle change, but there's definitely something off about her demeanor: the usual spark in her eyes has dimmed, and her laughter, once infectious and frequent, now feels forced or absent altogether. We talk often; we're not just friends but the kind who have shared secrets and dreams, the kind who can spend hours doing absolutely nothing yet feeling completely fulfilled. However, even with such a close bond, I cannot help but feel a growing distance between us. I’ve tried addressing it directly by asking if she is alright, but every time she waves it off with vague assurances that everything is fine.

This situation reminds me of times when people fret over situations they can't quite pinpoint or explain. She’s always been someone who enjoys talking about life (quoting movie lines or referencing something hilariously unexpected from a TV show we both adore) yet now those conversations last mere moments before trailing into silence. It worries me because she's not just any friend; she's the one who's been there through thick and thin, my constant for many years. I want to be there for her just as she has always supported me; however, I'm at a loss on how to bridge this gap without being intrusive or making her uncomfortable with heightened emotions. Perhaps there's an art to getting someone to open up that I've yet to master? Keeping hope alive in my heart that she'll voluntarily share what's troubling her seems like the only thing left to do at this point.

So for almost a year now I have had the hugest crushes on one of my straight (girl) friends. Now obviously, I am unable to control who I have feelings for, but it just won't go away and I'm exhausted. She doesn't know. Also, it's insanely hard living daily life (I see her every day) and trying to act normal. Not to mention love has been in the air or something lately because all of these people around me have been getting together and it's making my feelings so. much. worse. I never knew how intensely lonely I could feel until half of my friends, my sister, and all these other people had newly developing relationships while I am stuck in the trenches. I keep overthinking every interaction we have, looking for signs that aren't there, and never will be there. I have this gut feeling (probably just hope and bias) that maybe if I wait just a little longer, something might happen. I have no idea what to do because I know I'll get rejected and telling her will probably just make things awkward. My feelings have just grown so big and I constantly feel lonely and sad and tired. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this. But even then, what would I do? (Maybe not reality TV, but some sort of side character plot line in a coming of age movie perhaps. Let me know what you think I guess.)

Thanks for reading?

- A little lesbian :)

There’s this dude who likes me, but I’m afraid if I do date him, I’ll grow repulsive and disgusted by him. Let me explain.

I’ve been in one relationship before, and after a few months of them showing affection in words, I began to grow disgusted at them and everything about them. Weird thing is, I want a relationship, it’s just I know I only like the idea of it. Except when the idea came to life, the exact reaction occurred. Disgustion.

Does anyone else experience this..?

So here's the bitter truth, I lost my husband and my son in a car crash just one week ago. Yeah, it's rough and honestly, it feels like someone ripped out my heart and stomped all over it. The world keeps spinning as if nothing happened. Like seriously? Because for me, everything's just... broken.

There's this void that I can't even begin to fill. Everywhere I look reminds me of them. The empty chair at the dinner table, the unoccupied side of the bed... It's enough to make anyone lose their mind! People keep telling me how strong I am but honestly, I don't feel it. Not one bit.

And let's talk about the people who say "time heals all wounds"—cut the crap! It's been a week and every damn second is torture. I'm stuck in this loop of what-ifs and could-have-beens, replaying moments we shared over and over again trying to find some comfort in memories;

But you know what? Even with all this pain weighing me down, there's this tiny sliver of hope flickering inside. Maybe I'll never fully heal (like come on) but I've got friends sticking by my side like glue keeping me from spiraling too far into darkness... And somehow that's enough for now.

Recently, my husband, our three young ones, and I needed a break, so we decided on a beach vacation. To make it more enjoyable, we invited his sister Laura, her husband, and their two children, as there was an extra bedroom detached from our main rental. I had previously mentioned to Laura that I wanted a low-key vacation, especially since I am still recovering from childbirth and now juggling three kids.

Upon one of our beach days, I was surprised to see my in-laws, along with my stepson Alex and his girlfriend, arrive unannounced. They had driven three hours to 'surprise' us and had coordinated with Laura to find our location. While the gesture was sweet, things quickly became overwhelming. They had no arrangement for their lodging or meals and naturally expected to stay with us in our small, open-plan beach house, which barely accommodated doors, much less extra people.

Assuming they had no plans, we scrambled to prepare a meal using the extra food I had packed just in case. Faced with a lack of space, I had even settled the baby into one of the two small pack-and-plays in our only restroom. When I returned to check on him later, I caught Alex and his girlfriend using the glass-enclosed shower right next to where my baby was sleeping which was unsettling and inappropriate.

I quickly discussed the situation with Laura, emphasizing that we couldn't host everyone due to the constraints and lack of privacy. Despite my husband initially disagreeing, understanding the impracticality, Laura began looking for nearby hotels. Meanwhile, Alex's girlfriend had settled on using our only couch, which was my last refuge for a moment of peace with a glass of wine after a long day.

Eventually finding a hotel, the group didn't leave until midnight, further disrupting the night with loud poker games on our patio which led to an unpleasant exchange between my husband and his father. This incident has sparked ongoing arguments between my husband and me about family and boundaries during vacations. We even ended up footing half the bill for their hotel room, while Laura covered the rest.

Reflecting on this, if this entire scene were part of a reality show, I can only imagine the audience's reaction to the unfolding chaos and lack of consideration. The dramatic entrance, the tension over house space, and the late-night confrontations would certainly make for compelling television, but no doubt many viewers would sympathize with the struggle of maintaining order and boundaries in such a packed setting.

If this was on a reality show, would the audience rally behind us for enforcing boundaries, or would they support the surprise and spontaneity brought by the in-laws?

TW // talk about SH/suicide

Extra info: My parents divorced when I was 4, I've been going back and forth between their houses every week since and once I started driving it became every two weeks

I'm so tired of having to deal with my parents like unironically. They are good people, they've taken pretty good care of me all things considered but they aren't really good at being supportive past a surface level. Neither of them seem to be able to accept the fact that I am mentally disabled, I use the word "can't" a lot when trying to explain how I feel about certain things, especially if it is something that my ADHD gets in the way of and I just get told that I can and to stop saying I can't, then getting blamed for not doing things I've said I can't. (side note but I was actually diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but it was brushed off because "don't all young boys get diagnosed with ADHD?" actually pissed at my mom for that one, and neither of them thought to talk with my councilor about my struggle with schoolwork they just decided to try and make me do it themselves) Not only does ADHD make things a struggle but I'm also depressed and it just adds on to the struggle of things like cleaning my room or basic hygiene, yet my parents don't think I'm depressed. I work for my dad, it's a small company which leads to me being a key employee so when I'm gone it screws things up a decent bit, and I get sick pretty often or just don't feel good due to medical shit (chronic migraines and digestive issues + bad anxiety) so I end up calling in semi frequently. What ends up happening is my dad yells at me and gets pissed whenever I call in sick, perfect example being monday. I got like food poisoning or smth, was throwing up a bunch and had a bad headache on saturday with the throwing up turning into diarrhea, no stomach problems on sunday but the headache stayed, and woke up monday with diarrhea again and the headache being even worse than it was saturday so I called in sick. What ended up happening was my dad got mad at me again, and I got short with him bc I'm kinda fed up with it and told him I figured he'd say that and basically just rhetorically asked why he always blamed me for being sick, and he responded by telling me to stop victimizing myself and that I keep getting sick due to my lifestyle, which mind you my lifestyle is caused by poor mental health that he just doesn't seem to care about. I also have tried to explain how hard it is for me to put effort into things despite wanting to, but I don't think he gets it and I'm not sure if he ever will. I don't want him finding out how bad my mental health really is, but some days when we argue I have an urge to crash out and go off on him, tell him all the shit I'm pissed and annoyed about, be blunt and tell him that it's a struggle for me to get out of bed every day and go to work, or clean my room, or shower, or do anything else because most of my effort is spent trying as hard as I can to stop him and my mom from being the parents that have to bury their own fucking child. I know it's a horrible idea to open up about things to him though, because he views suicide as selfish and told me word for word that he "hates kids that self harm because it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and it's shit like that that makes it hard for me to believe he's ever had a genuine mental health crisis despite him telling me he has, because he clearly doesn't know what it's like to have self harm as a coping mechanism because it's the only thing you've found that works, doesn't make things worse, and stops you from doing things you don't want to, or be suicidal not just because you're tired of being the way you are but because you feel like a burden for constantly requesting help yet feeling an inability to use the advice given to you and just making the same mistakes over and over, having constant thoughts about how much better the world and people around you would be if you were gone, feeling like you're just screwing up everyone else's lives, and feeling like everything you do to try and get better or get help just makes it all worse. I just feel like a fucking failure because I have access to things like psychiatrists and therapists, but don't use them and I'm constantly flipflopping between whether I'm just being lazy, whether it's because of my mental issues/trauma, whether I even actually want to get better, etc. I've had my mom help me set up an online appointment but the psychiatrist didn't end up showing up after 30 minutes and I haven't been able to bring myself to make another one. Speaking of my mom, recently she had me fully move in to my dad's house because she's taking my struggles with self care as me disrespecting her, saying that she sees it as me flipping her off and saying fuck you every time she asks me to do something like shower or clean my dishes up and it doesn't get done (usually because I'm either in bed depressed or I'm playing a game with my friends while constantly thinking about needing to throw my trash away and questioning why I'm not throwing it away, sometimes getting to the point where I have literally punched myself trying to get my body to move and throw the trash away)

That's about it for the main cause of my rant, if anyone wants I can get into more issues I have with my parents including specific shit they've done in the past excluding certain details/descriptions that might give away who I am

Heyah👋🏻😄!!

My bestie's boyfriend wants to propose to her💍.

They've picked out a wonderful oval diamond ring💍✨!!!

My bestie joked that we should go to a wedding dress store and try on dresses... Me included😱!! I'm not dating anyone... Let alone engaged🫠!! So, I don't know if that would be right for me to try on dresses🥴.

Plus, I'm 4 foot 11 inches tall with watermelons the size of H🫣!! I don't know any wedding dresses AT-STORES that would accommodate that🫥? But my bestie is 5 foot 6 inches tall and has average size fruits😊👍🏻✨!! Like... Hmmm🤔.... A larger honey crisp apple🍎... But 2 of them, since I don't know many people who only have 1 fruit naturally✨👀?

Anyway, what should I do, should I say, "sure" or "nah"? It would be nice to be there when she picks her dress... But I'm only seeing her for 3 days until I head back home for 2 days then hop back on a plane to fly across country🛬.

So yesterday the Marching Band season started

I have a friend who's in marching band. she's three years older than me, she's really awesome and she has GREAT taste in music.

I met her last year in last year's marching band season. (last year was my first year.)

Also last year, I had another friend.

He was pretty cool. We met because of a mutual friend I had made during that year's Spring Trainings.

We became pretty good friends.

The music that year was really stressful. I ended up crying in the hallway, considering quitting, but he gave me a pep talk.

I started to really like him.

Then, in the middle of the season last year, he stopped speaking to me for no reason at all.

And then, yesterday, first day of spring Trainings, I had to see him again.

It hurt like crazy.

I'm 15 and recently became sexually active, I thought it was okay to not use condoms because I'm on the pill but I found out I've been taking my pill incorrectly and I'm now scared I could be pregnant 🤟

I have a big family that’s incredibly close. We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great grandfather's estate and eat together. Typically, how this works is that the women go cook for the time they’re there and the men don’t, which I am fully aware is sexist as hell. That being said, I am one of the youngest people in the family and my protests mean literally nothing.

Some of those women choose not to cook; however, this is usually met with a level of ostracizing. The women who don’t cook are wives and long-term girlfriends, so they kinda already have a good family relationship established. When I have seen new partners not cook, it’s gone bad. Like completely ostracized, not speaking, cattiness, rudeness, etc.

This dinner will be in two weeks and my girlfriend was asked if she would attend. Initially, she said yes, which is great. I want for her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around, but when I explained to her the tradition, she was understandably bothered.

I told her that I understood where she was coming from; however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn’t a permanent thing and that I am only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family. This is her first impression and I don’t think it’s best if we cause waves.

She told me that it’s unacceptable and that if she has to do that, she will not be going. I’ve tried to find a compromise with her on this, but she won’t budge and she’s pissed at me. She told me that if I think it’s acceptable to make her do this, I’m just as bad as everyone else, while my point is that she needs to make a good first impression.

Imagine if this was a reality show. How do you think my family and my girlfriend's reactions would play out on TV? Would the audience side with me, understanding the family dynamics, or would they see me as a villain for pushing her into such a sexist tradition?

My partner, Dan, has two wonderful little ones, Lily who's 4, and Max who recently turned 2, from a previous relationship. They're always with us since their mother left when Max was merely 4 weeks old, showing little to no interest in keeping in touch.

Recently, being 16 weeks into my own pregnancy, Dan and I decided a brief getaway before our new baby's arrival was essential. My mother agreed to look after Lily, Max, and our dog at our place while we took our weekend escape. Although she's been a reliable sitter for quick date nights or other short bursts when we needed help, this time around things didn’t go as smoothly.

Max is currently in a particularly fussy phase of toddlerhood where his breakfast must consist of semi-frozen berry Eggo waffles — no exceptions. He won't even touch them if they've been heated. Normally, I pull out a waffle from the freezer early in the morning to let it thaw just enough to remain slightly chilled, as he prefers. It’s not the breakfast of champions, but it saves us from a morning meltdown.

Prior to our departure, I detailed our kids’ routines in a note for my mom, highlighting their meal and sleep schedules to ensure consistency. However, on the first morning away, she rang up frustrated that Max was rejecting the scrambled eggs she prepared, not adhering to his current peculiar eating habit. I reiterated that Max would only eat the waffles as they were, but she dismissed it, claiming it wasn’t a healthy enough breakfast and that he needed to adapt to more suitable eating habits.

For the remainder of our trip, she ceased updating me about breakfast, but during a phone call, Lily nonchalantly mentioned that grandma was pretending the waffles were gone—even though Lily herself spotted them earlier. Prying further, I discovered Max was sometimes given just grapes, or skipped breakfast altogether. I immediately had Lily hand the phone over to my mom, instructing her firmly to stop withholding the waffles or risk losing her babysitting privileges. Reluctantly, she complied, but not without asserting that we were spoiling the children and overly indulging their whims.

Moreover, my mom and Lily clashed over her choice of attire; Lily loves picking her own outfits, leading to some quirky combinations like a mismatched pajama ensemble and tiara to daycare. My mom disapproved, wanting her dressed more traditionally for outings.

Back from our trip, amidst ongoing critical comments about our parenting choices from my mother, from waffles to wardrobe, and threats of limiting her time with the kids, I’m left questioning if my stance on the frozen waffles is turning us into overly permissive parents or if it’s just asserting a necessary boundary.

On a side note, I can only imagine the drama and scrutiny if our family dynamics were under the microscope of a reality TV show. Would the public side with my mom’s traditional views, or would they empathize with the challenges of managing toddlers with strong preferences?

All weekend long I was playing with my cousin's little ones. Their energy kind of energized me and I actually feel ready to face the world today. Playing with the kids, who are 2 and 4, let me be a little kid again and that felt great. They left to go back home this morning, but those little nuggets will always be in my heart <3. I'm not gonna let others get me down today, I'm actually in a really good mood. The depression that clouded my mind for so long is thinning out, and the sun in showing through the clouds. I think I'll be alright.

basically my dad passed away almost two years ago (july 18) and the only time i have visited him was when we buried him.

he died of a heart attack cause he was drunk at the beach when it was hot. he had a drinking problem for as long as i can remember but it was particularly bad the year he passed.

i remember that back then i had just started high school. between all the shit he was pulling (i wont list them but it is pretty bad) and puberty i got very hateful and even got into drugs and hanging out with the wrong people. i really hated him back then, because i felt like he was all that was wrong with the family (very untrue).

now that ive matured and healed a little, i wanna visit him. all along, i never really hated him. i love him and i hope he knew that when he passed.

also im sober too, my drugs phase thankfully didnt last long

when he was sober, my dad was a chill guy. although i didnt get to see him sober a lot, it pissed me off how good his potential as a father was.

after a while, i grew to understand the dynamics of my family that led him down this path. he did bear a part of the blame, but ive come to understand that the alcohol was just his way of coping.

when drunk, my dad once said that when he dies, he hopes i will visit his grave because he wants to bear my 'beautiful voice'.

the reason why i have gone yet is because i didnt feel ready to fully accept the fact that hes really gone and isnt coming back. i have so many regrets that i cant even list them all

i really wanna go, but i dont know what i would say.

i love you dad, if you can see me. i miss you more than i thought was possible

I used to be in a very big depression slump, it was very long. Lasted a span of 4 years at least. It started as deeply emotional. I was very sensitive and fragile to put it simply. But that later changed into hate and resentment. I am the oldest daughter in a traditional household. So when my parents started their seperation I was stressed about trying to makesure everyone was taken care of. But then I started to hate my family, hate how much they needed me for the house to be clean and for the kids to bed fed, and clean, and presentable for school. Until my younger brother started to show signs of depression too. It kind of snapped me out of it. Like it tore me in two that my little brother could feel like his life wasnt valuable the same way I saw my life. Fastforward I no longer feel that towards him. Im not so sure if hes still depressed but he is doing nothing with his life and it frustrates me deeply. He skips school and plays video games all day or watches videos. He has a GPA of 0 and is going to be a junior this year. This angers me. He didnt have all the responsibilies I had pushed on me growing up. While I had to literally physically move away from my family to focus on school and take many recovery classes to graduate on time. I guess the main cause of this resentment is that my mom tried talking with me about his mental health and trying to find a reason why he is this way. But when I was depressed I was just being a dirty and lazy kid that was making everything harder on her. I feel like I have regressed emotionally. I feel I used to have a lot more empathy than other but now I can only focus on how I feel in situations that cause me emotional distress. I didnt use to be this way. I dont know how to fix this empathy problem I have developed. I feel selfish and evil and filled with hate an resentment towards everyone and everything. Does anyone have some insight in how I can change this? I dont like living this way.

The other evening, right as my workday was wrapping up, my wife Lena gave me a ring. She was over at her brother James's place and was pondering over our dinner plans. After a brief chat, we all agreed to meet at a quaint restaurant close by. The place usually has a slight wait, so timing was key. Lena and James were roughly ten minutes away, whereas I was a bit farther, about fifteen minutes out. They said they'd head out immediately, so I hustled to get there on time.

Upon arriving, I was surprised to see from my parking spot that they hadn't shown up yet. Curious and a bit annoyed, I dialed Lena to check their whereabouts, only to discover they hadn't left their initial spot yet! Choosing to wait in my truck, they finally appeared after an additional fifteen minutes. Once reunited, I walked in to put our names down, but they showed frustration towards me for not doing it earlier. They argued that I should have anticipated and spared us all from waiting.

This isn't a rare incident; it's a recurring theme with them. They tend to delay their arrival intentionally, sidestepping any initial hassle like setting up or, in this case, signing in and enduring the wait. Fed up with this tactic, I decided to stand my ground this time. Knowing that they had delayed their departure until I almost reached, and after confirming Lena had indeed been tracking my location, I opted not to register us until they were present, insisting on sharing the burden of waiting.

When confronted in the parking lot, they didn't originally request me to check us in, yet were irritated when they had to wait, presumably expecting me to have handled it. As someone who values punctuality, their habitual tardiness to dodge wait times grates on me.

They even labeled me inconsiderate for not putting our names down beforehand, despite my intention to instill a bit of equality in waiting. Was it wrong for me to want everyone to experience the wait this time, or was I justified in my actions to bring some balance?

Imagine this scenario playing out on a popular reality TV show. Viewers would likely be split, with some applauding my stand against habitual tardiness, while others might criticize me for creating unnecessary tension. Social media would buzz with opinions, memes, and possibly even polls siding with either me or my in-laws, turning a simple dinner plan into a highly debated drama.

From this experience, how do you feel about people intentionally arriving late?