Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Okay, moral dilemma here. I have two friends, Friend A and Friend B. Friend A came to me a while ago and confessed in confidence that they had feelings for Friend B, and told me not to tell anyone, especially Friend B, because they knew that it wouldn’t work out and that they were trying to save themself the heartbreak by trying to get over them. MEANWHILE, a few weeks after Friend A tells me they like Friend B and are trying to get over them, Friend B comes to me and confesses feelings for FRIEND A, also in confidence. However, Friend B also tells me, pretty distraughtly, that they have been trying to get Friend A’s attention, but have been turned down or ignored each time (remember, Friend A is trying to get over Friend B; they think the best way to do that is by avoiding them) and now Friend B thinks that Friend A hates them. I want to tell Friend B about Friend A’s feelings so that they know that Friend A actually doesn’t hate them, but that would go against Friend A’s wishes. I could also tell Friend A about Friend B’s feelings for them, but that could go badly because 1) it would go against Friend B’s wishes and 2) Friend A is actively avoiding and trying to get over their feelings for Friend B. WHAT DO I DO.

As a seamstress who owns her boutique, I've always cherished handcrafting wedding dresses as a special gift for my close friends. So far, I've designed two beautiful gowns fitting the unique styles of each bride. I genuinely enjoy both my profession and delighting my friends in such a meaningful way. However, my current situation is a bit complicated. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and actively reducing my workload in anticipation of my impending maternity leave, delegating major projects to my team.

Recently, my friend shared her exciting news of getting engaged, and naturally, I was thrilled for her. During our conversation, she asked if I would be creating her wedding dress. I immediately agreed, assuming there was ample time to work on her gown once she set a date. She revealed the wedding was planned for January 19th. Initially, I assumed January 19, 2026, which seemed perfectly manageable. But she corrected me—it was January 19, 2025! This left me stunned as it was just around the corner, barely five months postpartum for me.

Politely, I explained that the timeframe just wouldn't work with my maternity plans and asked if she might consider a later date if she wanted me to design her dress. She was firm on her date, and I didn’t push further, but I made it clear that under these circumstances, I couldn't commit to creating her dress.

She seemed not to grasp the amount of effort and time needed for such a task, especially questioning why I couldn’t simply make her dress during my maternity leave. In a moment of frustration, I might have been harsher than intended, questioning if she understood the stress it would entail on me while being pregnant.

This led to some tension within our friend group, as she expressed her disappointment publicly in our group chat, hinting that I played favorites and that my refusal was a clear indicator. Though I'm quite upset, a part of me feels remorseful. While I'm not confident enough to entrust my employees with the task of a full wedding gown—they're not quite there yet—I'm considering perhaps offering to design either a rehearsal or reception dress as a peace offering.

Imagine if this whole ordeal were to unfold on a reality show? The drama and tension would undoubtedly be heightened, with cameras zooming in for close-ups of the emotional exchanges. Viewers would be split, some empathizing with the pressure and health concerns I'm facing, while others might side with my friend, feeling her disappointment and interpreting my inability to commit as a personal slight.

What reaction might follow if I explained the situation on a reality show?

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like no one is there for me—to listen, to read me, to write to me, or even to be open to talking with me. I feel like, in my environment, I’m just an extra burden. And if that’s the case, then I feel completely pushed aside by everyone. How could I not want to look for another place? I have to face it: I don’t belong here. That’s it. I need to find somewhere else. Period.

I’m tired of my environment refusing to admit it. We’re not compatible—and we never will be. We’ve only lived causing each other headaches, acting out power struggles to avoid admitting it, but all that’s brought is war after war. It’s time for me to leave. Maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally. I can’t take these useless conflicts anymore—they’re destroying our ability to coexist. My presence here, their acknowledgment of me, has only made life more fearful.

It’s time to go, once and for all. I feel like I have the chance, and I’m going to take it. We’ll all be safer this way. Maybe there will be a time of imbalance, but it’s either that or keep living in fear. Those who manage to get through it will be okay—and those who don’t, well... at least everyone will have searched for peace. That’s what matters most to me now—finding peace, no matter what.

There are things we have to leave behind, and ironically, that includes the place we were born. I have nothing left here—absolutely nothing. All I see is destruction and more destruction. Why keep denying it? I don’t want to be part of this anymore. I feel like I’m encouraging my relatives to become something like criminals—just as they do to each other. Luckily, we haven’t crossed the line that would get anyone arrested or reported, but we’re getting close. And that’s not the goal. I have to face it: my presence here—someone not suited to this environment—is just harmful. I can’t deny that anymore.

There’s nothing more painful for me than realizing I’ve been a source of harm and pain. And the worst part is, I couldn’t do anything before—but now I feel like I can. And I’m proud of that. I can give everyone a calmer life. Yes, let’s admit it—they’ll be better off without me here. I’ll be better off leaving, because in doing so, I’ll have truly supported them. I’ll be repaying everything they’ve done for me. It’s the greatest thank-you I can offer—the most meaningful one. What good are gifts or fake kindness? They don’t help anymore. People feel it, even if they don’t realize it.

I feel like I’m fulfilling a moral obligation, in the end. A civic duty, even—one that supports a healthier society, whether that means staying or stepping away. It’s what I have to do.

What hurts, though, is realizing that the solution to my problems with this environment isn’t in the environment itself—it’s somewhere else. I wish it were here, so I could embrace that resolution and feel proud of it. But the truth is, it never was. Trying to force that belief only led to disaster. It’s what brought us to this point—where we hate each other, deeply. All because we tried to stay. We have to face it: this environment is filled with disconnected people who pretend to bond just to deny the truth. There’s nothing between us. There never was—barely even between parents and children.

I wish it had been different. I always believed that teamwork was the answer. But the problem is... there’s no team. You can’t count on something that doesn’t exist.

Why did this life have to be mine? Why couldn’t this have happened to someone else? Why live with this discouragement? Why does this transition have to be like this? Why do I have to leave this environment just like that? And yet—it feels like inertia. My mind just goes there... because there’s more calm. That’s it. I think deep down, that’s what we’re all searching for—peace and calm. And in a way, my own environment has pushed me toward it. It’s something that’s just out of everyone’s hands.

Then come the questions:

What will I live in that new environment? Will they try to change me? Will I become someone else? Will I forget the place I came from? What will happen to them once I’m gone?

There’s so much I can’t control. I just know this: I’m in transition—and I never thought it would be like this.

I'm a 28-year-old woman currently residing with my mother due to my financial constraints, as I'm still completing my education with a college grant. My upbringing in the Adventist Church left me with some deep-seated emotional issues.

Since my father's death, my mother has entered a relationship with a new partner who practices an Afro-Brazilian faith. While I've expressed my struggles with religious discussions due to my Religious Trauma Syndrome diagnosed by a therapist, he has repeatedly tried to share his spiritual experiences with me. Despite requesting respectfully to refrain from this topic when we're alone, he has ignored my requests multiple times, causing me significant distress.

This repetitive breach of my boundaries led to a confrontation where I was firmer after he once again approached me with the same topic. I believed he understood my point after he became silent, perhaps feeling ashamed. However, he later complained to my mother, claiming I was rude, which resulted in a harsh rebuke from her accusing me of immaturity and intolerance. I explained my side, agreed to apologize for the tone but not for maintaining my boundary.

I personally apologized to him but reiterated my stance on avoiding religious conversations for my mental health's sake. He dismissed my approach, suggesting that adulthood involves tolerating discomfort. This makes me wonder if I'm really in the wrong here.

Imagine the drama this situation would cause if it played out on a reality show! The cameras would zoom in on our heated discussions, and viewers would probably be split. Some might applaud my stance on mental health boundaries, while others might criticize me for not being more accommodating. The producers would eat up the tension and the mixed reactions from the audience would add even more spice.

Am I being unreasonable here?

I’m with you physically, but your with her lovingly

Why? Why does it hurt? This feeling…..is it heartbreak?, sadness? No. its rejection. I was with you then, bought you food, sponsored your bike rental at burnham, I don’t know why I was suddenly generous, but…when I saw you for the first time, ….i felt….weird. Your eyes were the first thing I noticed, hazel brown….with the light shining back at me. I….was mesmerized. Then your body…lean but not too much, muscles perfectly exaggerated with your tight shirt ,perfect pecks. Its too much….yet I cant look away.. Your voice, deep but soft. With every word you spoke, It felt as if I was back in my elementary days....so focused on what you were saying…

Days pass….we get close, and I still have yet to understand this feeling, I know it though…..love, affection, attraction… but is it really? I cant handle it….fighting the urge to just…wrap you in my arms. And be with you till you leave, why? Why is it so hard to describe? Is it love? Is it affection? Or simple attraction? Why is it that when I think of you my heart skips a beat? WHY…

We talk more, I learn more.

I learned you liked someone…someone I know….whom I stand no chance with. It hurts, I still don’t know WHY. Why is it that I feel different around you, why is it that whenever we talk…I get pulled in and the small talk turns to a full on conversation. So many questions… about what? Obvious affection? a simple crush? …is it more than that?

I hate this feeling, my chest…hurts as if someone died..

When we sat alone in that stage, I felt bliss..happy just to be with you. I didn’t care how many people were staring, I just wanted to be with you….but…I guess you had other plans.

When I was ranting to you then, you listened. You cared.

When we were chatting on messenger a while ago I was just asking if you had my umbrella…I left it the night before, from volleyball practice. You said no and continued to say “huh sorry but I hadn’t taken an umbrella” you then proceed to send a photo with the caption “this Is the only thing I got”. I was confused, what did he get that he had to tell me….the I opened it….two hands intertwined, yours and…..a girls hand?

My heart dropped

Have you ever felt like your mother is the source of your problems? Yeah? Me too. Like she is the fuel in the fire that I am drowning in. She is providing me all this warm and then burning me, leaving scars on the skin. My mother talks about toxicity, bad friends, bad life choices. She tells me how *I* feel. She doesn't know me, does she? No. She thinks she does, the cause of all my problems. The hopelessness, the pain, the anger that follows it all. I hate it.

I hate my mother.

Growing up as mixed race (Black father and white mother), I've become somewhat accustomed to navigating predominantly white spaces in the UK. However, a recent visit to my mum and her partner Peter, who've been together for more than a decade, reminded me of the unique challenges I still face. They reside in a quaint Welsh village, distinctively monochromatic in its demographic, but usually, this is an environment I'm used to.

This visit, I decided to offer a hand with some gardening tasks, pulling weeds out front when Peter struck up a conversation with a neighbor, Robert, and brought me over to meet him. Within our initial exchange, after mentioning I was visiting from London for a week, Robert launched into a recount of his last trip to London. He described a minor collision with another person who he claimed then reacted aggressively. He concluded his story with, "and he was coloured," with an implicating tone suggesting danger, followed by fits of laughter from him and Peter.

The comment caught me off guard, and I excused myself, feigning more gardening work for a few moments before heading indoors. Shortly after, Peter came to my room to apologize, but his words, "Sorry about Robert, he just speaks his mind," only fueled my frustration. I confronted him about the lack of opposition to Robert's clearly racist comment. I ended up going for a long hike to cool down.

On returning, my mum tried smoothing things over, but it only escalated the tension. She suggested Robert was just an eccentric and advised I overlook his remarks. However, I stressed that my issue was more with Peter’s nonchalant reaction than Robert’s obvious prejudice. When she urged me to stand up for myself, I emphasized that as a person of color, it wasn't my place to educate or correct their biased acquaintances.

My mum accused me of overreacting; I countered, explaining she couldn’t possibly understand my position fully due to her different racial experiences. I've had to ignore casual racism in many areas of my life, but I drew the line at tolerating it in the so-called safety of my family home. Declaring my intentions to leave first thing in the morning, I started packing.

This decision inflamed the situation further. My mum lamented my impending absence from other family gatherings, labeling my decision as immature for not wanting to reach a compromise. I struggled to grasp how one could "agree to disagree" on matters of racism, let alone feel at ease knowing my immediate family might downplay my feelings toward it.

Reflecting on this situation within the context of a reality show, one wonders how the drama and intense emotional exchanges might play out before an audience. In those heightened realities, the dynamic could shift significantly, offering a platform for broader discussion or possibly escalating tensions further with viewers’ polarized reactions impacting the narrative.

Would love to know your thoughts—would my reaction have been seen differently if it was all televised?

I'm a 44-year-old man, and my sister, whom we'll call Kayla, is 33. She's happily married to Sam, who's 35. Recently, Kayla shared with our family that she and Sam are now romantically involved with a woman named Elise. They seem quite serious about her and even want her join this Thanksgiving's family gathering to properly introduce her to everyone. Our family has its share of conservative members, and personally, while I don't hold any prejudices, this kind of arrangement is unfamiliar to me and I'm unsure how to approach the situation.

Kayla has never openly discussed being bisexual or polyamorous before, so this development came as a bit of a shock to me. How their dynamic works exactly—considering her existing marriage with Sam—is beyond my understanding. Elise seems to be more than just a friend based on what Kayla expressed, and I find myself at a loss.

I tried addressing these concerns during a dinner with Kayla, but she quickly shut me down. She accused me of not grasping the depth of their relationship. I brought up a past incident where Kayla, after having too many drinks at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah, was behaving rather inapproprifrom her husband on the dance floor in front of the kids. I mentioned this to highlight my confusion about what she means by love, which may have offended her. Kayla's response was dismissive, and she suggested that I was narrow-minded.

Telling Kayla that I'd rather Elise not attend our Thanksgiving didn't go over well either. I still stand by my viewpoint although I suspect it hurt her feelings. If I think about a scenario where this was all playing out on a reality show, I can only imagine the heightened drama and wildly varying opinions from the audience. There would likely be a mix of support for Kayla's openness and criticism for introducing such a complex relationship dynamic into a traditionally conservative setting. The reactions would be magnified, with cameras capturing every nuance of the family's interaction with Elise, turning personal reservations and acceptance into public entertainment.

How might the public react to me being on a reality show with this dilemma?

What should I have done in this situation?

I'm a 20-year-old woman and im living with my parents while at collage since I can't afford a place to live also i live not that far from it. I love my stepfather a lot, he's been there in my life more that my biological father, which I am forever grateful. But sometimes his anger when i do some wrong, thinking i said something and i said something else or forget things, is too much. When I was younger, living with him, I was crying all the time because of how he screamed at me. Like i think i developed so many insecurity and anxiety of it. Now that I am older and talked to him about it, he always says “That is how i always talk, you should be used to it by now" And i am used to it im so numbed by it i just cry and block out whatever he says really even though i get that hes genuine criticizing me. I think he's frustrated of staying at home and not working and our economic troubles, that's why I try to help with paying stuff.

Sorry for the writing im just exhausted also I've made a routine of doing chores at the house so he doesn't call me out on it again. Then he comes and says, "why you always act like a robot”

Also, English is not my first language so there's might be some inconsistencies there's more i want to say but i have to do some assignments bye <3

Just to vent lol. Read if you wish. But i would.like your opinion if you can.

Everytime a relative or a cousin goes through their last year of high-school or entrance exam, my mum needs to bring up how I did badly in them, which tbh was not even that bad. I scored 90% in school but that's "bad" compared to what they were expecting. We are indians for some context. I am literally in 3rd yr of uni but my mom keeps bringing it up.

Because I did my high-school during covid and it was all online, I couldn't keep up with it and the pressure was insane that I just stopped studying. I lived with them and honestly I was so tired everyday. Ofcourse you couldn't really "see" anything, I acted like I was studying while I cheated on every internal exam because she kept asking to see the rank. It got so worse that everyday I would go to sleep hoping to not wake up the next day. I had 0 positivity towards life and I just wouldn't do anything. I only decided to start studying like the last 2 months of high-school which was why I have the marks I have but obviously couldn't get the entrance.

Now my cousin is going to take the exam and their parents have no expectations on her. I told my parents that my cousin can score more than what her parents expect because its not that hard. Obviously my mistake.

Then they asked me why I couldn't get it then since they sent me for special coaching and everything. I said I was a different case and I was too homesick [literally the first thing that came to my head cuz I did live like 6 months in the last year of high-school at a relatives house and this was also one of the factors].

Her immediate response was to laugh and then say it was not true. Then she asked if so, why I wasn't homesick when I went to uni or what happened in the year I was home when I lived with them.

I refused to tell her and she just believes that I just wasted time because I spent all my time watching movies.

I dont want to open this can of worms and tell her how pressured I was to get a good score thst I completely stopped studying and has been passively suicidal since then. Not one day since my high-school have I woken up thinking today will be a good day or I am happy to live today.

I have my happy moments and I don't show it a lot obviously but not a day passes by where I wish my life will have a stop hahah

But ik that if I tell her this she will just laugh at me call me weak willed or that I am acting.

I dont want to tell them the real reason cuz i don't want to put them through that but honestly she will never even understand it. Anytime I try to tell anything she just shut me down and act like I am just over reacting and it doesn't exist. Then she has the audacity to ask why I never told her these things.

Like yes, u put so much pressure on your child they wished they did not live a single day extra and you want them to come tell you this so you can laugh in their face and shut down their feelings?

Bohoo cry me a river

ok so like YES I definitely wanna make money not only bc I wanna spend it on what I want to spend on but also like I WANNA GET AWAY FROM MY PARENTSSS Okk like ofc ive looked online. Sooo like but I’m tryna get into digital marketing so selling products online? But my problem is what are ONLINE products people actually want ?? abd where to sell ? (But tbh ive got an idea on how to do that ) Okk so i wanna use my PayPal account for money but with how strict PayPal is w minors broo I might lose all my money😭🙏 so any suggestions?? So I was also considering yt but it gonna take A WHILE before I get 1k subs AND I gotta get views. The only ive actually made is from survey WHICH TAKE LIKE A MONTH TO DO BRO . (But altleast it’s something ❤️‍🩹) Okk so like the ‘grownups’ or literally someone in my situation that wants to make money young so any advice?? Like about digital marketing or literally anything else?

Ok but back to my parents tho LIKE I WANNA MOVE OUT WHEN I CAN BUTTT like wgen I do make money I cane across a video about u actually have to pay taxes even when online. BRO IDK HOW TO FLIPPING DO THAT LIKE AND IF I GET MAIL MY PARENTS ARE SURE TO FIND OUT. Also like I’m an immigrant, so if imma move out what’s gonna happen like how would things work out?? I’m not very educated on visas😭

Mother-in-law story here but I am the MIL!

At 63, managing life as a bustling single mother and grandmother isn't simple. I live with three of my children, who are 22, 26, and 30 years old, along with my beloved grandson. Life is full but fulfilling in its own unique way. My eldest son and his wife, who live several hours away, visited us last weekend. During their stay, my daughter-in-law took a moment to express her concerns about my household's current situation. She tactfully mentioned her worry about her siblings-in-law not pursuing further education or long-term careers. Her remarks hinted that she found the lack of progress and independence in my adult children disconcerting.

Since their move, the frequency of their visits has lessened, which had puzzled me until now. When asked, my daughter-in-law pointed out the practical issues such as the lack of sleeping space, hinting that the living arrangements were hardly ideal for guests. It's been eight years since she joined our family and our relationship had always been pleasant. However, her recent observations, layered with a certain air of judgment, did catch me off guard. She's a professional nurse and played a significant role in encouraging my son to specialize in IT. Meanwhile, the rest of us have continued with our regular jobs, managing to keep ourselves economically stable.

Her insight into our living dynamics seemed to stir a notion that we were somehow lagging behind ideal societal milestones. This perspective, particularly as they consider starting their own family, seemed to magnify her apprehensions. Challenged by her viewpoint, my response, perhaps sharper than intended, suggested she might have married into the wrong family. This remark apparently wounded her, as my son later pointed out, indicating I had hurt her feelings. While she possibly meant well, her comments pierced me too, suggesting a dissatisfaction with our family dynamics.

On a different note, imagine if this scenario played out on a reality show. The sparks would fly! Reality TV thrives on the tensions that arise from such family dynamics and heartfelt exchanges. Cameras rolling as the confrontation unfolded would likely amplify our reactions for dramatic effect, perhaps encouraging viewers to take sides. The episode would probably conclude with cliff-hanger music, leaving the audience eager to tune in next week and see if family bridges are burned or built stronger.

Did i say those things bc i was pissed? Yeah. Should've i kept my mouth shut to make the morning somewhat tollerable. Maybe. But am i Sorry? No absolutely. I honestly figured saying those things would trygger a fight. But honestly? I don't care. She makes sure every single day is shitty for me. She deserves a taste of her own medicine. And i didn't even say half of the things she does to me. I didn't scream or insult her or threaten to hurt her the way she does to me every single time she has a general minor inconvience. If i have a stay silent while she takes out her anger on me, bc the weather isn't to her liking then she can stand a bad morning cause i called her out on her bs. Also i love that whenever i do call her out she starts screaming about how good she's been and tells every single thing she's ever done for me. Except she doesn't mention how she never even wanted me around, openly said how much she disliked me and insulted me on a Daily basis. Or how she always made every single thing about her. Or how, when i dark spot, could barely sleep at night a barely get through the day, and i was activily asking for help fir over 6 YEARS, She either blamed on the weather and ignored or Just straight up told me to "men up" and that i was being drammatic. This week She has been yelling at me chewing me out the whole week non stop for everything and just expects me to stay silent and take It. She blamed for something I DIDN'T EVEN DO BC I WASN'T EVEN THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. IT HAPPENED BC OF HER OWN STUPIDITY and somehow i came back home and It was my fault.

Sometimes I feel as though, out of all the difficult partners one could end up with, I somehow ended up with the most challenging one. While I do believe I love him, there are moments when I wonder if we’re truly a good match. I often hear friends in strong relationships say that despite any hardships, loving their partner has always felt natural and easy. For me, it hasn’t felt that way—it often feels complicated, and that leaves me questioning whether we’re truly compatible.

Part of the challenge seems to come from the way he processes things. He tends to take a very long time to think before committing, agreeing, or even engaging with something, which can make even simple issues feel unnecessarily drawn out or difficult. At times, it feels as though he deliberately complicates things—almost like he’s testing me to see how I’ll handle it—which feels exhausting and unfair.

There are also dynamics in how he communicates that I find troubling. For example, he often insists on sharing his opinion, almost as if not doing so would mean his voice has been silenced. Yet, if the roles are reversed—if he has spoken but I haven’t—that imbalance doesn’t seem to bother him. To me, this feels selfish and inconsiderate, though there was once when I asked why does he always need to share his opinion even if he knows it will hurt someone, he frames it as part of his cultural upbringing. Personally, I see it less as a cultural trait and more as a learned behavior, especially from his mother, who carries a similar need to always assert her perspective.

While his mother is undeniably intelligent and accomplished, she also often comes across as dismissive or overly certain of her own views. Unfortunately, I see that same habit reflected in him, and it can make our conversations feel one-sided and draining. At times, I wish he could simply listen and observe without feeling the constant need to interject or assert himself.

Have you ever wonder what is like to be supported by parents? How they rather be concern about how you feel and not complain or disappointed by the results of the expectations? How they show comfort and understanding for the negativ expectation, and not talking discipline while disappointed over your hard work? Would you rather end the pain or suffer to meet their expectations?

How painful that is. Living in an asian household where parents itself been raised with strict discipline, and we were next victim to it. 20 years of my life, because of this prinsipp of parenting style, it's the reason why i am emotional unstable. No matter how much i really dont want to cry, criticsme i get from other, yelling about my wrongness and anxiety i get, it's the reason why i became.

I am a shy, introverted, social anxious and "keep everything to myself" kinda person. When i learn that i have failed my exam by the second time, i knew what will happend. I knew that they will be disappointed. I knew they will give me the criticsme. I knew they won't give me comfort. And yet.... i was hoping for it for some reason, that they will understand. That they will hug me, help me, comfort me. I hold the result to myself and try to mentally prepare for it. I overthink a lot when i'm anxious and in pain. It's like it slowly turn spiral and give me emotional pain constantly.

I really don't want to think about it, but i can't. When the time to tell my parents, i was in so much emotional pain. Constant scenario played in my head and anxiety grows more and more.

........... I told them ........... What was i hoping again? ............. They are asian, why would i think there would be hope?

I shouldn't expect anything from them. They were disappointed. They were critisme me. They discipline me. "Don't do this, don't do that. Do that and do this. Do better, think better, plan better". Constantly sighing. There were no feeling of comfort. Nor concern. Nor care. There were so much disappointed in their tone, their eyes, their behaviour. It was so painful. Did they ask how i felt? Did they say "It's ok"? Did they comfort by telling me how hard work i tried? Did they gave me hugs? Did they show understanding?...............................

Seriously what did i hope for again?!

Been emotional unstable means for me that i would get emotional, cry when they yell, discipline and misunderstand me angry. "Stay strong" they said. "Criticsme is nothing to cry for" they said. "Crying help nothing" they said. When something like failing exam is a huge disappointment for me and all my hard work for nothing, is painful to think. Why would i not cry? When its hurtful for my sister, why did she get comfort and not me? When she failed the first time, why is it ok for her and not me? Why wouldn't you discipline her?

I couldn't help feeling even more pain.

I really want to complain about their behaviours, but what can i do? Growing up, whenever i speak calm or screaming it's not me, or trying to clear the misunderstanding they have of me, or talking bout how i feel and try to have a conversation, they always turn it into me lying and me not understanding. "Fight back" they said. "Don't let them talk down on you" they said. "Talk back if they wrong you" they said. But when i do, why do they yell and call me lying? When i'm trying to clear their misunderstanding and everything, why are they yelling at me and pointing at me like i'm still in the wrong no matter what?

I learn that no matter what i say, they just turn it against me, pointed wrong in me, using their emotion and "we want the best for you" against me. I never win. What is he point of fighting my right when they just stubbornly point wrong in me?

They always wonder why i never tell them things. I wonder ........ what is the point? No wonder i'm shutting them out.

They mostly don't care about emotion, but results of the expectations.

For now, there is nothing in my heart except for pain. I know later the pain will grow more and more.

...............................................................

What i would say if i could?

"Why would you not comfort me? You know i work so hard and how the exam was so hard, why wouldn't try to comfort me? Why must you always discipline me? I knew you would discipline me, this is why i really don't want to tell you anything! You kept saying how you want the best for me or how you know me! NEWS FLASH! You don't know how i am! How my body is or how my mind is! You don't even know i have social anxiety or stress or other anxiety! You don't know my mental state! I want to know my mental state! Do i have adhd? Depression? Mental unstable? Anxiety? Hypersomnia? I litterly have to diagnose myself for this. You complain constantly i slept too much, i am slow, i cant do shit, how dumb i am. Have you ever consider my mental state is different than you? I sleep long cause my mental state need 10 hours sleep to keep my brain going. I do slow cuz my brain can't get all information all at once while i overthink spiral. I can't do right cuz you only see my wrong. I am not dumb, i am just average and my brain can't handle too much stuff to remember. And yet you never consider to understand me nor to ask about it!

Why won't you comfort me? Why won't you tell me everything is ok? you work hard? you did your best? you tried? Why must you give me pain...?"