Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I don’t even know how to feel about my feelings. I’ve been through so much, both now and in the past, that I can’t even understand how I feel anymore. I can’t express my feelings to anyone because when I try to express them to my mother, she sounds like she doesn’t care. So what do I do when I can’t even talk to my mom?

I keep everything inside, and when it becomes too much, I cry it out where no one will know, where no one will hear, where no one will see.

Pathetic, isn’t it? Well, that’s how I feel most of the time—pathetic.

I sit and wonder why I feel this way, why I have these feelings. A feeling where I feel empty, lost, and confused.

I don’t want to feel this way, but when I think about it, I prefer feeling numb because it protects me from disappointment. My whole life, I’ve felt like a disappointment—especially to someone I thought I could tell everything to. But now my heart aches because I can’t even talk to that person about what’s on my mind. My heart aches that whenever something is bothering me, I can’t express it because that one person I trusted thinks I’m just looking for attention.

“Attention.” You know, I never once thought about doing all of this just for attention. Well, what can I say?

Most of the time, I feel like I’m suffocating myself, as if I’m underwater and can’t breathe or get up. I can’t ask for help. Just like when my friend asks me what’s wrong, I can’t even form a word or sentence. It’s like I’m saying “what’s wrong,” but my lips aren’t moving.

You know what’s sad? Everyone I talk to about my problems says, “Talk to me” or “I’m always here.” But then they say they can relate to my trauma, even though I’ve been experiencing it for years.

If I told my mother everything I’ve been going through, she wouldn’t think twice before shouting at me, saying I’m looking for attention and pity. She is the reason I keep everything to myself, why I’m sad—no, not sad—numb. Numb is how she makes me feel most of the time, every second, every minute, every hour.

She makes me feel like I’m a burden to her. What I don’t understand is: if I’m such a burden, then why keep me? Why make me feel this way all the time?

Every time I think about all the pain she has caused me, I don’t even feel like crying. I just feel numb. I can’t even express my feelings to anybody anymore. I can’t even shed tears because I’m so numb.

“I used to float, but now I just fall down. I used to know, but now I’m not sure now...”

I don’t like this feeling I’ve been experiencing lately. I feel distant from my family and friends. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even exist in this world. I feel isolated from everyone.

Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “How are you?” can break the wall I’ve built to protect myself from crying, from looking weak, from showing that I’m in pain and suffering. So I build my wall again, brick by brick, over and over again. And there is no “until”—I will always have to build the wall.

What do I do now? How do I move on when the memories of my trauma still exist in my head, in my brain? It’s locked in a cage, like monsters waiting to come out and attack me, to make me fall back down, to make me give up.

This is why I keep everything to myself. Because once those monsters are free, and I talk about them, who will be there in the night when I’m alone with them? Who will support me? My friends say I should talk to them, but there’s only so much I can do.

Who will comfort me if I have another anxiety attack? That’s how I feel.

I like this guy, c, he is cute, funny, sweet. Literally checks all the boxes.

I've known C from school for 2 years but the first time saw him I was sitting I

In the school cafeteria and saw him walking by through one of the windows. My first thought was "oh, he's kinda cute". I didn't have any classes with him that year and didn't see him until the first day of school the next year.

The first day of school came, and because I am sooo lucky, I had art first period with both of my younger sisters. We arrived to class and he assigned us seats. I was sitting at a table with a girl and guy who are a grade lower than me, same grade as my sisters, and C. (C is in the same grade as me). Over the next 3 months I had the best time at this table, he made me laugh so hard.

Suddenly, my art teacher gave us new seats, and I wasn't sitting with C anymore. I was already sitting alone at lunch so being isolated from people who made me happy sucked even more. Eventually this really kind girl, G, invited me to sit with her and her friends during lunch. Me and G are now best friends. Well one of these girls, K, like C too. I was to afraid to tell anyone of my crush, plus I also wasn't sure it was a crush yet. Unfortunately, k and c ended up dating for a while and I decided I would never tell anybody my crush. Well the school year came to an end and they broke up. I left him alone and didn't see him again until next school year.

This school year c was in my science class. The second I saw him all my feelings immediately came back. He would occasionally talk to me and I would catch him looking at me across hallways and the cafeteria. I was elated. Little did I know my school was going to bump up to advanced science. I, of course, took the opportunity as it gave me a high school credit, unlike the other course. So, things went along as normal, c would still look over at me and I would look over at him, but neither of us ever made a move.

Then I have a sleepover with G and she convinces me to get his number and text him. She ended up finding his number and texting him on my phone, I was scared shittless, like I was a HOT MESS. He ended up not remembering me from art, or knowing my name, or even the fact that we had science together a month ago. That hurt, like a lot. I gave up, he wouldn't start the conversation, his texts were dry, and he never talked to me in school. Of course I would still get butterflies whenever we were close to each other, but I tried to convince myself I didn't like him. I told my friends my crush was over, I didn't text him again, and I pushed all thoughts of him out of my brain.

THEN I FIND OUT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

(This is like 2/3 months later)

I here one of my friends casually mention that C and V make a really cute couple to my other friend. My heart dropped. V was the one girl at school that I would constantly compare myself to.

She's prettier than me, has more friends than me, is cooler, taller, funnier, hotter, of course c wanted her, hell I wanted to BE HER.

I pushed down my feelings but now G is dating one of Cs friends so whenever me and G hang out with Gs bf he's always there, and it's SO AWKWARD CUZ I STILL LIKE HIM AND I THOUGHT HE LIKE ME

but apparently I'm just some delusional teenage girl who actually needs to chill out, cuz he has a gf, who's not me.

I don't know what to do, I've tried liking other guys, but I almost have to force myself to like them. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried talking to my therapist about him, not the fact that I still like him but she was there for when I started texting him and stuff.

If you guys have any suggestions for getting over somebody, that would be great.

Love y'all!💕

The universe will probably not care. Earth's not forever anyways. My life nor anyone else's is permanent anyways. So why bother? I can't be fixed. This can't be fixed. The Earth's gonna get blown up by the sun in 1 billion years. The plan was cancelled. My family was right. They may say it's because one of their parents had other ideas, but the truth is, 4 people in a group meant to be a trio is too much. I'm too much. They cancelled the outing, and they didn't originally plan the outing.

I wanna give up everything. This has happened before. Their plan changed. I don't matter to anything. Mom is right, not everyone likes me. They may say I'm fine, but it's toleration. Being at home is better. Home is safe. It doesn't give the very invisible implication you don't matter. The universe won't care, so why try? If I'm gone I won't be remembered. If I ran away somewhere, alone, they won't remember. Everyone hates me unless proven they don't.

It's just I know the world's gonna blow up soon. Someone even predicted it could be November 13 2026. What's the point? I'm not liked, nor is anything else. The plan is over. I wasn't ever wanted. The outing was canceled. 4 people is too many. I was extra. An extra in an immaculate plan. I'm too flawed for them. This was bound to happen. I can't confront someone about this. I'll look desperate. If I keep asking why they cancelled it and that I feel I'm too much for them, they'll leave. This was glass. Why should it be this fragile?

Why didn't they tell me? Did they think I was dumb? It's fine now though, it's never gonna happen. My brother has better friends than me. They call so many times and have fun. I can't. I can't have that. Maybe something decided that every relationship outside of family isn't possible. As an adult I'll be lonely. Maybe relationships wasn't meant for me. Not everyone can have everything. This always happened whenever I wanted to be with them. Life just said I can't do it. I can't have it. My anger is catching up to me. I was always a broken kid. Always. Some people just don't deserve others outside of family. It happens. Some adults learn to make peace with being lonely.

Their lives would be the same if they never met me, because I added nothing. I can't rely on family forever, can I? I'm too desperate, they don't deserve me. I'm just saying, as much as I don't wanna die, they sure as hell make me wish I was still alone, so I'd get used to it. I wish I never met these people, I connected too much. I've been given bad luck ever since I was small.

It's always my curse with my family. I can only have a good time with them, never my friends. I love my family a lot, but as an adult, I can't keep going back to them forever, right? I'd have no other choice but to replace friends with family, if this keeps happening. It means doing anything with them is impossible. I'm the scum in their lives. Mom even said it's okay to be lonely. I guess this was my life meant for me. The adults were right.

This has happened last time as well. The same friend wanted to go to the same mall 3 years ago, until it didn't happen. I have had only a few friendships in my life, but these 2 instances are evidence. Only with friends this happens. With family this never happened. I'm cursed.

I'm egotistical. I knew it. I knew I didn't deserve help. I can be like mom. She never goes out with friends, only us. That means this whole time I was destined to start from nothing. This thing with me isn't anything. I shouldn't be here. Everyone's lives would've been better. Mom would've become a doctor. My brother wouldn't be sad. Those people would feel glad anyways. You know what they say "Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone".

Honestly, in school, most people think I'm a bit weird. I have found some people who don't mind being around me, but earlier I was always weird. When I was young I used to get really angry, and after a while I did cool down, but socially I was still bad because I would either stay quiet or try to dominate the conversation trying to talk about what I like. And a bit more recently I would stick to people who did like me, until I think I did something wrong and that was when I isolate for a while. And when I do speak, I can talk about weird stuff and get enthusiastic.

I don't know, I'm not really into heavy accusation gossiping or Katseye (no hatred, just not a huge fan) or whatever they do, so I end up looking weird to them. I'm fine now, but sometimes I think they don't like me, so I keep that thought with me, so it hurts a little less. I mean, one person in India probably didn't like me at all, her rival told me. Some people may not like me, you know? And honestly, I have thought about becoming normal. I just find it hard to lie about it.

Just, maybe friendships and me were never meant to be.

Heyah! Story remembered by my mom, experienced by my mom, me, my aunt, and my grandma.

I was age 5. My mom and I went on a trip from West to East Coast. Why? To visit my Aunt for the holidays. We planned to see the Lion King on Broadway. It was amazing! But that's really the only fun that was had on that trip.

My mom planned for us to stay in New York for about a week. I was on Winter vacation from school.

But...

The whole time it forking rained!!! It was raining buckets!! Cat's and dogs I tells ya!!! And no... It wasn't raining men🤣!

But...

Of course on the day we were set to leave... The sky opened and the sun showed itself to my mom's middle finger!!

And that's the story!!

Is there any good advice to lose weight but then get really committed to it?

okay so this week (and some of last week) have been annoying as freak but it has been extra. there's these to boys in my 6th period, (we will call K and N) I have 3 classes with K and 1 with N, lately they have been a big pain and stressing me out. for some reason N has been calling me a boy/man or "He" and I'm a woman not trans or anything (NOT HATING, I support) N keeps doing it. I've told him to actually stop. at first I thought it was funny, no harm but then it slowly came annoying and of course K being a follower when it comes to his friends he started calling me a boy/man and he wont stop. its not even funny its just so freaking annoying. they have also been bothering me and my (more than friends, who we will call L) they are friends of L but he doesn't want to be friends with N and K anymore, L struggles with sleep and sleeps during class sometimes, I.D.C. but like in 6th period we were watching a flipping movie and they kept bothering me and L, using Bluetooth headphones to play annoying audio in L ear. I had to snatch them out of N hand and give them to our teacher and tell her not to give them back at all. even L is over this like me and L just want to chill and be happy but I cant get a break for once! I can decide if I should just keep silent and wait for it to stop or freaking do something about it because honestly its pissing me off that these people cant grow up and are acting like 5 yr old boys.

i am 31, a man, and i started this new job 2 months ago, and the pattern looks bad from every angle i can measure. the onboarding was fast, the handoff was sloppy, and the team dynamic felt closed before i even got my badge working right. in the first week i tried to stay in my lane, learn the workflow, read the sop notes, watch the qa checks, and not break prod, but somehow every move i made turned into a small social failure. when i ask a question in standup, people go quiet like i pushed the wrong button. when i post in the group chat, i get the kind of reply that is tecnically polite but cold, like a ticket response and not a human one. at lunch, chairs are full untill i come near, then somehow nobody is hungry anymore. i know how that sounds, and i know people on the internet will say maybe it is in my head, maybe i am projecting, maybe this is just normal ramp-up friction. but when the same thing happens every day, in every channel, across every shift handover, it stops feeling random and starts looking like a trend line. i try to audit my own behavior like i am doing root-cause analysis on a failed deploy. was my tone off. did i miss a cue. did i over-explain. did i under-communicate. did i come in too eager, too stiff, too slow, too exact, too visible. i keep replaying each interaction like log review at 2 a.m., searching for the error code nobody wants to name. one senior guy corrects me in front of everybody for tiny process stuff, even when the actual kpi impact is zero. another person rewrites what i say in meetings and then gets nods for the exact same point. my manager says “give it time,” which sounds reasonable on paper, but in practice it lands like a placeholder, not support. after work i sit in my car and feel the whole day still running in my chest, like a machine that wont power down. depression is not a dramatic word here, it is just the most accurate one. i am eating less, sleeping weird, waking up with dread, then doing the full routine anyway because rent is real and adults dont get to blue-screen in public. i shower, i clock in, i update my tasks, i smile when needed, i say “good morning,” and i watch it drop dead in the air. maybe some of you know this exact thing, when a place is not openly abusive, not clearly hostile in a reportable way, but the enviroment is still rejecting you in a hundred tiny packets. what do you even do when no single event is huge, but the aggregate load is crushing. how do you tell if everybody hates you, or if you just entered a culture with bad documentation and worse empathy. how do you keep your self-respect when the room acts like your presence is a defect ticket no one wants assigned 😕

from an outside view, the facts are simple. i am still new. i do not control the legacy culture. teams can get weird around change, especially when throughput is stressed, deadlines are close, and people protect their part of the pipeline like it is private property. a new guy shows up, asks basic questions, touches process, slows velocity for a minute, and some people read that as risk. that does not make it right, but it makes it less mystic. i have started seeing that not every cold reaction means actual hate. some of it is ego, some burnout, some bad comms hygiene, some plain old cliques. still, the emotional result on my side is the same, and i dont want to lie about that. i feel lost a lot. i feel reduced. i feel like i am becoming smaller every day just to fit inside a system that already decided my value before my probation period is even half done. but i am trying to be objective and not turn one hard season into a final verdict on my whole life. so i started doing little controls. i keep notes on deliverables so i can see what is real and what is just fear. i verify requirements before execution, document blockers, close loops, and keep my language clean and short. i ask one person at a time instead of the whole room, because people perform less when there is no audience. i focus on qa, handoff quality, response time, and the small places where trust can actually be built. i do not overshare. i do not beg to be liked. i just try to be consistent, because consistency is boring and boring is often what makes people relax. i also remind myself that 2 months is not a full data set, even if it feels endless when you are depressed. a bad sprint is not the whole project. a rough team fit is not proof that a man is broken. maybe the answer to “what to do when everyone hates you?” is not one big heroic move. maybe it is smaller and less cinematic. keep your structure. protect your mind. talk to one safe person, even if it is awkward. update your resume quietly, not as defeat, but as capacity planning. keep learning the stack. keep your dignity off the floor. let time expose who is just guarded and who is truly cruel. and if this place never warms up, then maybe the hopeful thing is not forcing belonging where there is none, but understanding that another team, another manager, another floor, another job can still exist. i dont think i am doomed, even on the days i feel totaly unwanted. i think i am in a bad system, in a hard chapter, and chapters end. so i am asking you, honestly, what would you do here, and how would you keep your head clear without turning bitter. because i want to come out of this tired, maybe, but still decent, still standing, and still open to the idea that not everyone will hate me forever.

hello you can adress me as LLWS i have a crush on a girl as a girl and my parents dont know well they are not really my parents ust my grandma who has taken care of me since birth because my parents dont care about me but the girl i like is my best friend ut she is dating my other best friend but ive liked her since 5th grade and the girl shes dating ust came this year and they keep leaving me out and so does my friend group and my parents never see me i dont even know what my mom or dad looks like and it really hurts that they dont care and suddenly all my friends are starting to turn against me and we are about to be in high school and im scared that they are going to leave me and i dont know what to do

Teenagehood is a crock of shit. All those teen shows and movies fucking lied!! (TW mentions of depression)

I have about a year until I graduate and I’m lowkey getting impatient. I can’t wait to move to University and close this miserable chapter of my life.

I mean yeah there were lots of fun things, but the bad things were just SO BAD that I can’t ignore them at all.

Like don’t get me started on my mental health, the moment I turned 13 that shit deteriorated like crazy!! Like I love my parents but they’re one of the main reasons I’m so depressed like they’ve done so many things that genuinely make me wanna kms!! I actually had a real fear when I was 14 that I wouldn’t make it past 16 cause I might lose my mind and end it!

I also can’t wait to leave this school. Everyone here is so fucking fake like ugh, and the only two people who I felt even remotely comfortable with being myself left the school (one of them left the fucking continent)!

Everyone else is so fake, I can’t believe there was a time where I genuinely saw them as friends, like thank goodness I opened my eyes and stopped brainwashing myself! Gurl, they barely, if ever, talk to you, and they DEFINITELY say shit behind your back like “look at the gay depressed emo girl with anger issues, she probably cuts herself” (I don’t but if scars didn’t exist I would in a heartbeat).

And let me not start on dating! Those teen romance stories are fake as fuck!! Good thing I didn’t try to date any of these fuckass boys! They’re so fucking insensitive and misogynistic! The only time some of those fuckers show any interest in me is when they wanna sexualise my body! Go eat shit!!

Soon I’m gonna graduate and leave this place, and I’m gonna block every whackass motherfucker from this school man I’m done!!

I guess if anyone wants to share their version of teenage hood or if they somewhat relate to my experience go ahead.

Hi. I know this is all my fault I'm completely aware. but I just wanna vent because it feels suffocating.

I was stupid enough to not brush my hair for 3 months. Just keeping it in a hood all winter because I was so tired I couldn't take care of myself

Now it's so matted I'm scared to see how bad it is.

I'm scared of how my dad will react if he knew, he told me if my hair was tangled again he wouldn't take me to the salon because I'm old now and he's right. Back when I got my hair tangled a lot and went to the salon to cut it, it was fine because I was just a child. But now I'm 17 years old. It'll just be embarrassing

I don't know what to do.

My dad took me out shopping a while ago he bought me a pretty dress and I'm happy and grateful but I didn't know how to express it so he had a argument with me

I didn't want to show him what the dress looked like on me, because it meant taking off my hood and showing him my tangled hair. He got angry and closed the door really loudly

I get his anger, I'm just venting. Not blaming anyone.

I'm the idiot here for never learning my lesson and letting my sadness take over my life

Today, I was doing my homework.

Let's take in account that in a few hours, I have to choose which options to take for the 2 years that will come in high school, tomorrow I have a test in math, a test in English, 1 presentation in Dutch over my origins, 1 presentation in History over France and its castles.

My father came back from work (at 16:00), he started talking to me nonstop and asking questions about my life, when It's clearly obvious I'm occupied. When he asked me another pointless question, I didn't hear it (since my sister was blasting music) so I responded with a "What?".

I suspect that my tone could've come off as rude, but I was annoyed and I yelled loudly 'cause my sister was BLASTING music.

He started screaming at me, telling me "What did you say to me?" as if he hadn't heard it. He was angry, again, because apparently, I'm always disrespectful and should respond with a "What did you say, sir?" when I just want to be left alone.

They're my parents, but they shouldn't be parents when they're clearly not ready. They know how to take care of kids because they take care of kids everyday! But they don't take care of their own because we're "grown up" (I'm 15). But when the timing is prefect, we're suddenly too "young" and we're wrong and they're "right".

To hell with parents.

When your child tells you about their trauma, their problems and open up to you, you shouldn't denigrate them, invalidate their feelings or START TALKING ABOUT HOW TIRED YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR WORK WHEN THEIR TRAUMA IS YOU.

I have been going through this creative burnout for the beginning of the Covid experience. And lately it is taking a lot out of me to try to do anything creative. Because mostly half the time trying to figure out where to put my little figures or find a great picture landscape It’s hard because there’s so many other people, and they might look at you. Funny when you have little objects with you. Also, there’s other people who tried to help but interferes with your creative mind. Plus you get interruptions a lot. Is there anyone who knows about creative burnout to overcome it or help ease out of it because it is exhausting and I don’t know what to do next for my pictures.

i put love stories for all types of love. i think there’s something wrong with me. i wear off on people and i genuinely don’t know what part about me makes this happen but it DOES happen. people tell me just because im a teenager im overreacting but they’ve never lived my life so how should they know? i just want love. i want it so bad and as soon as i grab it it just goes away. one of my favorite shows, bojack horseman, has so many quotes that i relate to, but the one i relate to most rn is the one from the cat in the show, princess carolyn: “You know the worst part? I knew this was gonna happen, and I let myself get excited anyway.”

that’s how i feel when i finally wear off.

my kitten is named after princess carolyn n i call her pc for short

Hello to all the beautiful people out there!!! So I have been in a relationship for the past 6 plus years and I have known my boyfriend for decades like we're childhood friends. I do love him as of now, but as time went by I think i'm falling out of it. The reason behind all these is the disturbance of my mental piece by this girl and my beloved bf. After we made it official we were so happy, I was so happy, although he used to talk about his exes a lot. But I didn't object ever, because it was his emotion which he wanted to share with me.

So there's one of his girl "friends" he used to talk to and just last year I got to know that she likes him, she describes him as "love at first site" ( I felt like vomiting). After knowing this I immediately felt uncomfortable with her and I told my partner to never talk to her again and keep his distance. But after agreeing with all I told him, he did absolutely the opposite, he talked to her and deleted all their text so I can't read them, I mean WOW just WOW. We fought over this many times and he eventually stopped.

Here comes the twisted part I'm confused as hell, though he stopped to talk to her in general, but he always sends her text on insta after HE IS DRUNK. I mean wth dude, and deletes it, I'm so frustrated right now, last night it happened again, we had a little get together and he was drunk, I know his insta password so there was nothing that time, and I forgot to logout. This morning I woke up and saw the incoming text on insta it was her reply, which means he deleted the text he sent already. I feel like vomiting and crying at the same time, idk if its cheating or betrayal. My god people help me out here.

And she is a bitch, she keeps coming back to him even after I told her how I feel.

I have this friend, Carly, who’s 23 and we've been tight ever since our freshman days back in high school. She’s been chasing her musical dreams in LA lately. Carly always had a knack for writing; she even got her degree from a reputable private liberal arts college in California, majoring in Creative Writing. Most of us who know her well were betting she’d go into songwriting. However, Carly decided to take on singing instead. She's already dropped three singles and has an album in the pipeline, but honestly, they're just not good. Her vocal timbre really doesn’t cut it—it’s rather flat and nasal, plus she has this odd way of modulating her pitch. Watching her perform live is even more of a struggle. The crowd of friends she's made in LA keep cheering her on, telling her she’s phenomenal. I’m just worried about how far their praises will carry her before someone in the business pulls the plug and tells her straight up, “you can’t sing.”

What worries me more is thinking what if she ever ended up on one of those reality singing shows? Like, imagine her getting up there with that same supportive crowd, only to face the harsh critiques from seasoned judges in front of a national audience. Could you just imagine the humiliation? It’s hard enough seeing her wade through local gigs, but that level of exposure and raw feedback could really break her.

How does one deal with this? Is it kinder to let her keep dreaming while everyone around nods and smiles, or would a true friend intervene before the reality becomes too painful? Waiting it out seems like watching a ticking time bomb. Is sitting back really the answer?