Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

ok. so like. how do I tell them. we're on good terms already, I don't want to ruin it. we joke about it all the time, making fun of it. I feel embarrassed every time we make fun of it, knowing damn well I'm in that position. God I hate this.

if you see this no you don't btw, you know who you are

My grandpa passed recently after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer’s. While his passing was a sad event, I took comfort knowing he was finally at peace. In the days leading up to his funeral, my sister Leah and I were sorting out the guest list. During the conversation, Leah mentioned she wanted to bring her girlfriend to the ceremony.

While I’ve always supported Leah and her choices, the rest of our family hasn't been as understanding. They’ve never met her girlfriend and were quite firm about their disapproval. I advised Leah against bringing her girlfriend, fearing it would only lead to unnecessary tension at the event. Leah, however, felt vulnerable and expressed that her girlfriend’s presence was crucial for her emotional well-being. She revealed that they were engaged, asserting that her girlfriend was practically family now, whether the rest of our family liked it or not.

I expressed my concern that Leah seemed to be instigating drama. I felt that if her presence was contingent on her partner being there, perhaps it was better she skipped the funeral, reminding her the day was meant to honor our grandfather, not to challenge family dynamics. This upset Leah greatly, and eventually, she decided not to attend.

Almost a week had gone by since the funeral and communication between Leah and I had been minimal. When I finally called her, she inquired about the funeral. I gave her a detailed description, but she grew upset, regretting her absence. Her response irritated me because her decision to miss the funeral was deliberate, aimed at making a statement. This escalated into another heated argument, and her girlfriend intervened, ending our call abruptly while criticizing my role as a brother.

Reflecting on these events, I wonder if I could have managed things better despite trying my best to mediate. What if my attempt to keep peace was perceived differently?

I imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the reactions would be intensely magnified. Audiences would likely be split, with some sympathizing with my intent to maintain familial harmony and others siding with Leah’s right to support from her partner in difficult times. The high emotional stakes and conflicting values could have made for a very compelling episode, drawing strong reactions from viewers who identify with the struggles of balancing personal relationships with family expectations.

Hi everyone. I (28m) met an intriguing person (45?, I'll call them Jo) a few days ago who proposed a sugar parent (SP) relationship, with me as the sugar baby. I thought, why not, and agreed. I didn't know much about these relationships, and I still don't, so I let them take the lead.

So, Jo asked me to download a banking app. After checking it out, it seemed fine, so I set up an account. Then, Jo asked for my login and password. I'm not comfortable with that and told Jo as much. When I asked why, Jo said they wanted to use it for trade. That raised some red flags for me, and I told Jo. They explained it was meant to be a safe account for trades "off the radar." But that account had my personal details, like my SSN.

I told Jo I wasn't comfortable with that and suggested using my Venmo QR code instead. Jo said if I couldn't do this, I shouldn't worry about doing anything else. I pointed out that asking for such details is a lot, even for people who've been dating for years, let alone two people who just met. I felt their request seemed financially abusive.

Jo accused me of not knowing what trust is and said I needed to take a leap of faith. But I'm an atheist, and leaps of faith aren't my thing. I told Jo their behavior could be seen as financially abusive and that others wouldn't take it kindly. Jo ended the conversation, and now I'm not sure if I hurt Jo's feelings or caught them in a scam.

If this was on a reality show, how would people react? Would they think I was being overly cautious or see Jo's behavior as suspicious?

So, am I right for not wanting to share my banking information with Jo? Anyone with experience or general knowledge of SP relationships, please share your thoughts.

i’m twenty, in the middle of my university studies, and i still have at least three years before i can even think about finishing. i’ve been with my boyfriend for just two months now, and while things are going well between us, there’s this quiet but constant fear in the back of my mind that won’t go away. we’re not using any kind of contraception, which i know is incredibly irresponsible, but every time i think about bringing it up, i hesitate. it’s not that i think he would react badly — actually, he’s pretty understanding — it’s just that there’s this weird shame and discomfort around the subject for me. maybe i feel like talking about it would break the illusion that we’re just enjoying the moment. but what if enjoying the moment turns into a lifetime responsibility? i think about how a single decision or a single mistake could change everything i’ve planned for. i have goals, i have a future i’m working hard for, and the idea of pregnancy right now feels like it would dismantle all of that. i don’t hate the idea of being a mom someday, not at all, but right now it’s terrifying. do others my age feel this constant weight too?

i try to stay calm and rational, but my anxiety has been building up every time my period is even a day late. i read into every minor symptom — a slight cramp, a bit of nausea, even just being more tired than usual — and my mind jumps straight to the worst-case scenario. it's like i become hyper-aware of my body, overanalyzing everything it does. i find myself googling terms like "implantation bleeding" or "early pregnancy signs" in the middle of the night, even when i know it’s just me being paranoid. and yet, i don’t take action. no appointment with a gynecologist, no purchase of emergency contraceptives, not even a pregnancy test unless i'm really panicking. i wonder if this passive approach is some form of denial, like maybe if i don’t confront it directly, it won’t be real. but isn’t that dangerous? am i playing with fire out of fear of confrontation or some illusion of being in control? i know the biological and emotional consequences of an unplanned pregnancy can be massive, and yet i'm stuck in this cycle of fear and inaction. it’s so frustrating to know better and still do nothing. i feel like i'm failing myself somehow. 🫤

there’s also this overwhelming guilt that creeps in when i imagine the scenario actually happening. i picture myself having to tell my parents, explain to them how despite being the "responsible daughter" i always try to be, i let this happen. i picture the awkwardness of facing my professors or delaying my degree. even with my boyfriend, who i do care about, would things survive such a shift? we barely know each other on a deep level. what would co-parenting look like with someone i just met two months ago? we’re still figuring out each other’s boundaries, habits, values. how would we navigate something so life-altering without a solid foundation? and then i wonder — am i overthinking it all, or is it rational to worry this much? am i just another girl with a temporary freak-out, or is this fear justified by how unprepared and exposed i’ve allowed myself to be? i guess i’m writing this because i need to hear from someone who’s been here or is going through the same. how do you manage the fear of pregnancy when you know you’re not doing what you should to prevent it? how do you break the silence and finally take action, even if it’s just starting with a real conversation?

I used to be a happy and loving person, always smiling, always happy to work my job. But ever since gambling was introduced to my life, all of that Changed. Work has been getting hard to do, I hate seeing other people, I hate doing anything. I just want to die.

I've lost faith in God, i've lost faith in friendship, relationships, even parents. Because nothing has ever helped me.

I Know it's mostly my fault, I don't blame anyone or anything. But I'm sick of living this way.

someone please, I want to stop, Please.

Me and my boyfriend have been together soon to be two years now. I oftentimes have had to reprimand him about stupid stuff like him being overly kind to women and allowing it to cut into time that me and him spend together, but today I have found a rather compelling... Well... Discovery. So, he's been struggling with finding and keeping work but he always has money somehow. I did some snooping,(I know, I'm sorry) under suspicion that I'd find out maybe he has an alternative way of making money like OF or something but instead... He's been lying to women and "flirting" with them and making false promises to meet up with them, only to take money from them and end up spending it on me. (Gifts, dates, stuff I ask for or sometimes I post on my story.) The money he gets from working with his family, he spends on himself. I don't know what to say or do. As good as our relationship is, I've never expected some shit like this. I don't know. I am at a loss for words. I had to get it off my chest because I knew it'd eat me up knowing all day and not processing it. What the hell do I even do? Where do I start? It's only ever been women that have ignored the fact he tells them he's with me, or women who've been under my comments calling me ugly or fat or some shit. I can't even come up with the words.

everything i do, everything i say feel wrong, i didnt actually mean anything, it was just old stuff i wanted to bring back, now i look like a creep to everyone i depend on, i am shaking as i write this, the more i try not to act like a creep the more the people who i consider friends point it out, i dont want to be in this state of me anymore i dont like myself at all, i did the same mistake twice and i feel like these people are faking their words just for me not to kill myself, i'm a man i'm supposed to be able to handle this but this is so hard to accept, it feels like the world turned its back on me, i dont want to live like this anymore, you can't tell me not to do something i'd regret for the rest of my life, i've regretted everything my whole life, anything i did just killed me right in front of you, either i am being too sensitive or you being too sensitive it doesnt fucking matter, i am dead, i started to hate everyone when i was 13, i was too young to feel that way, i crave happiness, i was not the person i thought i was, i am fucking suck

I feel like I don't know if I'd like to meet this girl again, or even the one I knew. They're both extremely confiding people with extremely troubled lives. They're always trying to please everyone. It's somewhat absorbing for me. I feel like I'm a sad spectacle or something, a projection of what they could be, and I don't like it.

Personally, I feel like I wouldn't like to meet either of them. They're very unstable people, indeed. Their feelings are extremely disproportionate and they're constantly struggling with their surroundings. I feel they're extremely tied down. Frankly, I don't want to know about their lives because I feel like I'll stumble upon a deep, brazenly camouflaged sadness. In this sense, I feel, as I do everyone else, that such a person is very unpleasant, and even more so those around them, who are used to something like that. I feel, in principle, that there will be no organization in the conversations. The focus will be on feeling good, not facing an organized panorama, which will allow for the diversity of emotions and, therefore, the exercise of organizing them to adapt to this encouraging panorama.

These are extremely complex girls, too much for me. In fact, I confess that all their actions leave me thinking because, of course, I visualize them, I identify with them, but nevertheless, it's an overflow for my routine. Furthermore, I'm surprised by the technicality I have to use to express myself about them in a way that is satisfactory to me and, I'm sure, to the reader as well.

Why did I get such complicated girls? I don't understand. Why don't I get something simpler? Also, I'm conscious. I don't want, under any circumstances, to go around advising anyone, which is what I feel I've done with them, regarding maintaining respectful boundaries. In fact, I'm overwhelmed by speaking in this formal way because of the great detail involved. I prefer something much simpler. This, of course, already implies, if we constantly meet with them, a long distance between us, working in the meantime, even though it's impossible, creating a distance between us. Let's be honest: The relationship between these girls and me is a long-term disaster. I can't resort to such complex analysis to understand these circumstances. Indeed, it's essential: I need to distance myself from both of them.

I feel like our relationship is an overload for me. I understand that I need to control my thoughts; however, the effort is precisely what's overwhelming, and if I don't, I run into disorganization with her, which would mean being unavailable and just being another source of conflict. What could be the cure for the issue also results in conflict—a minority one at first, but in the long run, it will be just as impactful as any other source. It's unfortunate, then; I can't do anything more with these girls, and it hurts because I was right there in their shoes.

I find it hard to believe that I can't deal with myself. These are people whose personality I had in the past. Why are these circumstances the same as mine? On the one hand, and on the other, how is it possible that I don't encounter someone in the same circumstances as me? I feel this speaks to the fact that I still have my mentality in such times, even though the conditions of my environment are different, which implies that I haven't fully adapted to it, although it would seem utopian at first, given that it's always in constant change. What I can say is that this within my adaptation continues to be present, and I recognize it. Of the things I've become aware of, many I hadn't been conscious of. Of course, I sought a radical change, which is why I still struggle to achieve my goal. What I can say is that, speaking of a totality, my environment is still creating distance for all situations in the present, everything about them that I haven't been conscious of.

I tried looking it up online... But I still don't get it🫠. And there are different meanings or definitions📖. So, I'm hoping real humans can inform me about what the abbreviation... MIL... Means🙇🏻‍♀️✨. This was one of the categories to write on iiwiars.

it’s been six months since I moved to New York City, and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. being 29 and living in such a bustling city is supposed to be exciting, right? well, I thought so too. As I walk around the streets filled with lively faces and vibrant energy, I find myself feeling disconnected and isolated. the sheer size of the city amplifies my loneliness; it’s ironic how one can feel so alone in a crowd. sometimes, I wonder if others feel the same way; do they also walk around with an invisible barrier between themselves and the world around them?

to combat this loneliness, I decided to engage in some volunteer work. I thought that maybe helping others would not only distract me from my own feelings but also help me connect with new people. I signed up at a local food bank and participated regularly, serving meals and sorting donations. while it was fulfilling to see the smiles on people's faces, I still returned home feeling hollow. the relationships formed during those moments were fleeting and shallow; it’s not like I was building lasting connections. I had hoped for more than just a brief encounter; I wanted to form friendships and find a sense of belonging. instead, I left with the same heavy heart, counting the days since I moved to this city.

during my time volunteering, I made small talk with a few people, sharing brief exchanges and pleasantries. however, I would return to my empty apartment, and the silence would feel deafening. it seems that despite the efforts I had put into trying to engage with others, I still found myself without real friends or a support system. I have considered joining clubs or classes, but the thought of walking into a room full of strangers is daunting, and I often find myself hesitating. does everyone feel this uncertainty when meeting new people? am I the only one struggling to find my place in a city that never sleeps? 🤔

even though the loneliness has been overwhelming, I refuse to let it consume me. I remind myself that I chose to live in New York City for a reason, and I believe that the opportunities for connection are boundless. I have been exploring new hobbies, such as painting and attending community events, and while I have yet to forge lasting friendships, I remain hopeful. each day brings new possibilities; it’s a matter of putting myself out there. perhaps it is just a matter of time; I trust that with patience, I will find my tribe. the journey towards connection can be incredibly challenging, but I strive to remain positive and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the experiences I have had so far.

in conclusion, my loneliness has led me to reflect on myself and what I truly desire from my life in this magnificent city. I acknowledge the pain of feeling disconnected, yet I see it as a stepping stone towards personal growth. while the struggles may feel heavy now, I am motivated to keep moving forward and seek connections that will enrich my life. ultimately, I know I am not alone in my journey. so, if you find yourself feeling lonely too, how do you cope with it? what steps do you take to connect with others? let's find solace in sharing these experiences, for perhaps together we can navigate this vast city and create meaningful connections in the process; you never know what could be just around the corner.

I know am like her. That's actually they main reason i can't stand her. Cause She thinks she sooo good and i'm the dirt under her feet but we're so much like each other. Better yet. She think we're not similiar at all and even openly said she dislikes me. Since i was like 7. Which f you. But also guess what? You're exactly like me. I know i'm Just as bad if not worse. I've been aware of that since forever. since she does nothing but remind me how bad and horrible i am. I've tried addressing this stuff to her. But to her? This Is normal. All the messed up stuff She does Is normal cause "She had It worse." And She Just gets worse. Maybe stewing in hate won't help. But since i can't talk to her since she won't listen. And i can't leave right now, venting and ignoring her Is the only thing i can do. (When i'll be able to leave i will. Even if just to get a break from her.) And honestly i think i have the whole right to be mad and hate her for wounds she caused. And i know for a fact what she does isn't right and i'm tired of pretending It Is. She doesn't deserve It. Cause she's not only horrible to me, and she's not only horrible to every since animal she "saved" once she gets bored and tired of them. She's horrible to others of our family too. She Just makes strangers thinks she's this adorable little princess. And yeah she did have It worse. But guess what? She stayed, for people who didn't care about her. She stayed and stewed in hate her whole Life and brought me with her. And now she's giving all that hate to me. I have the whole right to hate what she did and nothing will change my mind. Since realisticly speaking. I'll never be able to tell any of this, She never listens anyway. I am like her. A lot. But i'm trying to improve. I'm trying to be better. I am a bad person. But i don't scream at others day and night about minimal issues i brought uppon my self. I don't torture others for every single mistake they ever made. I don't "ban" crying cause it's not a good enough reason. I don't hurt others the way she does. She's stuck in the fantasy that she's perfect and above everyone else and She always will be. And i refuse to forgive her for that. ever.

Like why tf couldn’t he just be taller 💔 wasted opportunity (not like anything actually gonna happen if he was tho 😭🙏)

Recently, I went through an incredibly tough time—I lost my pregnancy at 12 weeks. Only my husband, Dan, knew as we decided to keep this private until I was mentally prepared to discuss it with others.

Things took an unexpected turn when my sister, Emma, visited me the other day. She inquired about my well-being in a way that felt oddly specific. Confused, I questioned her about what she meant. Emma looked shocked and hesitated a bit before telling me that Dan had shared news of our miscarriage. He believed that letting others know would aid in my healing process.

I was stunned and felt utterly betrayed. Later, when I confronted Dan, he confessed that he hadn't wanted to "hide" our situation anymore. This led to a massive argument between us, and in a fit of anger, I locked him out for the night.

Currently, Dan has moved temporarily to his mother's house. He thinks I overreacted and feels humiliated because his family got involved. On my part, I'm hurt and believe he really overstepped by sharing something so personal without my consent.

Now, imagining if this drama unfolded in a reality TV show, I can just see the cameras zooming in on our argument and the producers playing sad music over my confession scenes. The internet would probably have a field day analyzing our relationship dynamics and debating about privacy in a marriage. How surreal that would be!

Was I right in feeling violated and angry, or did I really take things too far?

My wife and I recently took a two-week trip to Germany for Oktoberfest. I'm writing this from our hotel room in a resort on the southwest side of the country. Neither of us come from money, and we both have a bit of an alternative look—I've got a Mohawk, piercings, and nail polish, and my wife has tattoos covering about 80% of her body along with colored hair. So, we tend to stand out a bit.

We dressed up nicely for dinner—I wore a button-up shirt and black pants, and my wife wore a nice dress and heels. We showed up five minutes early for our reservation, not wanting to be late and ready to wait if necessary. We were seated and ordered different sets of courses to try a bit of everything. We were polite, used please and thank you, and asked the staff for advice on how to enjoy our meals properly.

When it came time for the main courses, our reservation was at 7 PM, and by 8:10 PM, we still hadn't received our main dishes. It wasn't until 9:40 PM that our food finally arrived. During the wait, we asked our server a few times if there was a delay, not rudely, just curious if we should hold off on more bread.

At the 1 hour 30-minute mark, I asked for the chief to see if there was an issue since other tables with similar orders and larger groups who arrived after us were already being served. When I explained our situation, he patronizingly smacked his lips and said, "Aww, it hasn't been over an hour and a half." When I clarified we had timed it, he shrugged and said, "I don't know what to say," then walked off.

All I wanted was an apology or some communication. Even if they had said, "Sorry, the food didn't meet the chef's standards," I'd have been fine with that. But nothing. When you're paying $300 per person, the least you expect is an update if your meal is delayed. Was that too much to ask?

Thinking about this, I wonder how people would react if this had happened on a reality show. Would it have been different? How would people judge the situation?

In this world, we cannot deign to speak about the family as we see fit; instead, we must use a pre-established discourse regarding it, as it is precisely a terrain where experience is entirely personal. It is a joy to establish a normality through which to generalize all the experiences of all individuals within their families for their maintenance within society.

Such normality often proves completely detached, suffocating, and rather leads to viewing our family in a blind way and being permissive with its ways of operating. This normalization is proving to be a game of exclusion for those who fail to fit in, which translates into the absence of relationships based on maintaining this profile. In itself, it is encouraging the creation of criminals or suicides. There are authorities for these, however, the key is not to fall into such traps.

The society in which we operate creates extremely precise profiles, which leads to redefining the version of family members. An environment where illegal acts become routine encourages members, thanks to their surroundings, encouraging them to reflect on more complex practices, which society and the authorities face with greater difficulty, leading to imposed solutions that appear feasible at first. This spirit itself is leading to the creation of micro-states, isolated groups eager to dominate society, clearly seeking acceptance of their characteristics beyond their usual borders. In other words, this normalization is leading to discreet reactionary actions. It is a form of self-destruction, using, of course, its elements to simulate the absence of change, even when it is perceived. This leads to constant tension within society, achieving discourses of comfort or sophisticated domination, slowing the production of critical essence, and resulting in an approximate lack of development of individuals.

This development leads precisely to a society that is even more maladaptive in the face of its circumstances, such as illness or other events that deviate from the norm. In other words, it becomes disrupted into a maladaptive one, all in the name of maintaining a normal discourse that omits those elements that cause it to deviate from that format. Without a doubt, we can speak of a possible path toward the expansion of this group.

This fixation on the family as the axis to which one must adhere under all circumstances is, in turn, a desperate measure to maintain the structures that prepare the individual for the structures beyond it, to which we all succumb in some way. Its support for its hegemony, without examining relationships, can lead to the continuation of inappropriate behavior, which is precisely what is not desired. This defense seems unconscious and rather careless toward society, so we can speak of a clearly naive effort. The intention is for everyone to be well; however, the consequences are not produced by these, but by what the action does within the context.

Many people are starting from a defensive position, fearing their own family system, that it is promoting something alien to well-being. It has always been said that the family actually works for this reason; however, we know that the notion responds to the fulfillment of ideals and that it is specific to each group. There is a tendency to protect oneself within it for no other reason than its productiveness of stability, which in turn has shaped one's life's path in pursuit of it. The detachment from the idea of ​​maintaining the family results in a deep disillusionment that concretizes precisely the defensiveness of this notion of well-being within the praxis it represents. Change beyond this is not visualized, given that life was based on that conception; that is, the loss of it would be visualized.

In my case, it was necessary to do so because the well-being provided by my family was becoming detached from the social normality in which I subscribed, acting on those elements that only served as a means of gain, those that served to homogenize the feeling of detachment from others from a victimist behavior and a vision of life based on domination for the sake of survival. What my family was proposing was my isolation from society, consisting of seeking what was indispensable to it and sharing the feeling of marginalization encapsulated in a supremacy. It resulted in a driving force for me to enter into detachment with the idea because I did not want to remain under that condition, nor did the groups that supported it. I wanted a life consisting of consciousness, sustainable sociability, and bringer of calm, and of profitable subsistence, starting from any element that was not carried by my relatives, in order to diminish their tools to make me return to my previous situation thanks to their need to homogenize all individuals, with a view to safeguarding the idea that one is well and not bad for the fact of not being able to be inserted and in tune with the world beyond us.