Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

For the people that saw my goodbye post. I didn’t succeed in my attempt. It’s just gotten worse as my family members know and now I will be getting a therapist soon. I just want to go. I don’t want to stay longer.

I. I miss you and i really want you back but i know it will take time. We gave ourselves 3 chances and we broke them all, Today i talked to you, i typed as if i was angry, you showed sorrow and wonder of the reason why, But i shouldn't of been rude. The first time we met i was so angry at you without even knowing it. This time it was on purpose. and many other times too. I might seem sick of you, and not able to chat with you for a split second. But in all honesty i yearn for your love and for you to hold me tight in your arms. i yearn for you to call me "my sweet girl" one last time. And even though I'm writing this out of sadness i'm just happy that i even met you. The day we first starting talking ive loved you ever since. I cant get rid of you. You are now attached to my life. Even after all the arguments, the bullying, the vents, the suicide attempts, the love, i still care and i always will so therefor you will always and Forever be apart of me. I love you Iaroslav.I really do.

you know, I've been cruising around on this application a lot, and I've seen tons of folks saying "this too shall pass," but honestly, I don't 100% get it, like, is it some existential thing or just a fancy phrase to throw around when stuff hits the fan? 🤔 I've seen it on different threads, and it's like an invisible hand trying to pat people on the back when they're down, but does it really work that way? it makes me think: is there a magic moment when you know things are finally over, like some official "passing" ceremony? It's a bit funny, isn't it? when stuff is bad, we kind of hold onto this phrase like it's gonna save the day or something. but then again, when things are good, we're all hoping they don't "pass" like the good times should just hang around forever. It's like needing assurances that bad times are temporary while secretly praying the good stuff stays put. 🙃 Then again, I remember someone said "these too shall pass" while quoting that ancient king who wanted a phrase that'd put things into perspective irrespective of a situation; isn't it wild how something from way back then is like, still relevant now? Our great-grandparents probably even used that line, and now here we are, borrowing from their wisdom. So, maybe it's not about timing but how we perceive situations and hold onto hope; or, is it more about prepping ourselves to ride the ups and downs without freaking the heck out?

In a day-to-day setting, it's helpful in giving people assurance and making them feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but with a seemingly perpetual cycle of passing and waiting for new days or events to occur, how do you stay grounded? sometimes I wonder if it's the world's way of saying also "hey, don't get too comfy," like a gentle nudge that life's dynamic and unpredictable, and that maybe no state of being is set in stone. And then, there are those people who casually drop "this too shall pass" as if they've got some golden master-key for all life's locks, and it makes me chuckle 'cause it's like, no one actually has the entire rule book for surviving life's storms, right? It's like we're all kindergartners in the grand school of life. Plus, the word "pass" sounds so passive and laid-back, almost like we're waiting for a magical transformation that requires no active participation, which is kind of comforting yet peculiar at the same time. Perhaps needing a phrase or philosophy that just sits with you on rough days without leaving a mark can be a strong enough testament to its value. "this too shall pass," even if not instantly comprehensible in its entirety, may indeed hold the soothing balm of enduring hope bundled in mere words, like a lifeline extended through time; and, wouldn't it be crazy if understanding its meaning was less about comprehension and more about how it feels? Seriously, stick those words somewhere prominent and let time scribe their meaning onto your soul with experience. just curious though: how do you guys see it? does it resonate like a silent companion during tough times, or does it all just seem overrated and blown out of proportion, in your opinion? 🤔 because sharing these phrases, seeking clarity, and expanding our grasp could be the start of untangling the threads of such enigmatic maxims. anyways, take care and good luck with the unraveling of life's chaos.

I understand why it’s happening, at least somewhat, but I wish other countries would stop blaming all Americans for the actions of Trump. Stop lumping us all in with MAGA and telling us we’re all culpable for them and Trump's cronies.

The children, especially queer children, who couldn’t vote at all are culpable? The lgbtqia2p, disabled and other groups with targets on our backs who kept BEGGING people to vote Kamala are all culpable? Intersex and trans people like myself, attempting to all be wiped out and also tried to warn we were/are the first domino to fall, are culpable? The Indigenous peoples (again like myself) trying to be told we aren’t citizens who may be put in camps are culpable? Etc?

I’ve been trying to get out of here for years, but I was trapped with abusive “family” who pretty much pulled a Disney’s Tangled on me, until 22 or so. I was just getting my life back on track, trying to undo some of the damage from medical neglect/malpractice and get my mental health in order to study abroad, that’s all gone. I won't drone on about that again, I already have two or three posts doing so.

I have no one in my corner in my “home” and now no safer country will likely ever let me flee there. Day by day, the family I'm trapped with, keeps pushing me and my feelings aside. I've been in near constant crisis, yet I'm told I have to think of my cishet mother and brother, their wants and needs. While I am trying to crawl out of the hole I'm trapped in and have been trying to beg for help getting out of, on my own when I really can't for many reasons, I am treated as an evil and selfish bitch for not having "compassion" for people telling me I don't matter and I'm "overreacting." Being "lazy." My brother has also begun copying me in a way that just... Unsettles me. I won't go into too much detail on that, but as a brief summary, he's treated me like garbage all my life for being disabled and queer. Or, just the barest hint of being queer I should say, as spiritual abuse at the hands of family and the like made me hide that DEEP. But, then he began to say I was lucky a few years ago, because I can't work I am privileged. Example one of many. I didn't catch it until I began to notice him copying my stims and things I say about my experiences trying to beg for understanding, but I realized he'd been quizzing me my whole life about my trauma disorders and disablilities. He also tried to gaslight me, tell me things he did to me happened in reverse, I did it to him which is a blatant fucking lie. I'm apparently "mean" for not wanting to forgive or enable him (he's trying to get disability when he's not disabled and blatantly copying me to the point his psych even called it out). He has been watching me closely as I've been so upset, too, and started parroting things I've said. Mimicking the way I CRY (I wish I was exaggerating) and I have some serious concern but no one is listening to me. No one.

No one is listening to me about anything, not about this, not about anything I've been writing here. I’m “not valuable” due to being stunted from abuse, being disabled and chronically ill, lumped in with fascist MAGA despite being number one on their hit list. My family is putting people who abuse me first, my brother like I said, my aunt who tried to exorcise me when I was little. And, you may ask, why don't I just leave? HOW WHEN I WAS DELIBERATELY KEPT FROM KNOWING HOW TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING, AM POOR AND AM DISABLED (made more so by my father not allowing me to see the doctor among other things when I was still stuck with him... The fact mom rescued me from him makes me feel like shit for being so angry at her which is another can of worms)!? And now, my State Removed my protections as a trans and intersex person from the Civil Rights Act.

I. Am. Trapped. And. No. One. Cares.

Apparently, I'm culpable for my own prison, my own abuse. The terrible things happening all over, I am culpable for, despite being a victim of it all myself. For the targets on my back and others, I'm responsible, when I tried to stop it and make others care enough to help stop it. It just hurts, it’s just scary, and I needed it out somewhere. I never even got to live in the first place and now I’m stuck here like this… I'm sorry I keep ranting here about all the same things, but it's anonymous and I have nowhere else to go to. I have nowhere to go online or in real life and it just makes me want to give up all together.

The fact my story, my pain, all sounds so stupid for someone my age to be writing as well just... I swear I had a plan once upon a time, I was supposed to be something, someone different than this.

My whole childhood(until 10 years old) I spent in the biggest room of our little house, alone and surrounded only by plushies and markers. Dad was always away for work. Mom was busy with her own job. I was left alone. No one to talk to, no one to play with, and no one to hug but myself. At first it may seem like they didn't care at all, but no, my parents are amazing people, they were just... busy.

(And yes, I know most people here would much prefer some sort of cheating drama but this is a venting app okay? also sorry if I make any writing mistakes english isn't my first language)

Two years later Im sitting in my room, now living in an apartment, reading smut after smut in an attempt to feel any kind of connection. school is horrible, each day feels like routine and my only way out is doomscrolling and spacing out with music on full volume in my headphones, pretending life is okay. I feel this void inside me, this sickening urge to seek out somebody, anybody who would just hold me for hours on end. I long for an embrace and yet I am too scared to ask for it straight up because I am not used to speaking. That's where the second thing comes in — my speach. J constantly stutter, I struggle with expressing my opinions, I have sudden waves of talking whenever I get the chance, and I will never be able to speak out about the void inside me. That moves on to the next thing:I'm afraid of telling th8s to my parents. Why? Well, dad has his own trauma and he shows it by joking about spanking me with a belt, by saying "growing up strong can only happen if you have been hurt in childhood" and it drives me nuts. Also, my mom is all about being all supportive and modern, but the whole "always calm down first" thing? And worst of all, drum roll please, therapy is shamed in our country! Another thing I want to mention is praise — I never got much praise beyond my drawing skills and my ambition for learning english. So now, whenever I get complimented, I always reask to make sure it's not a joke, that they mean it, and is a desperate attempt to get more praise. Because toys can't tell me of I'm good at something or not.

Alright, I think that's enough. Thank you for being here, and thank you for listening!

(https://youtu.be/bCoMKguyo7w?si=4WpOGA-Err0zJXIF)

when I was 9 I started doing sh, My dad kept comparing me to others, making jokes about my appearance, and saying rude things to me. He has anger issues and keeps threatening to punch me, slap me, or cut off a limb or two to keep me from leaving the house when I make him angry. I was tired of him at the age of 9 so I started to do self-harm as a way of punishing myself and coping, I couldn't talk to my parents. I don't trust them, when I decided to do sh I cut the front of my arm and it's back until it reached my elbows. I remember crying and wishing that if I told a my dad or mom, they'd comfort me instead of thinking that something was wrong with me. my dad eventually found out when I was 10 and he took pictures and sent them to my other relatives and I felt humiliated, he asked me why I did it as if the way he treated me wasn't enough for him to connect everything so I lied about the reason. after he found out I stopped for a few months and he and my mom never said anything to me, just why and what did I use? he never confronted me or tried to comfort me. neither did my mom, I've been clean for a year and 19 days now but I've been getting urges again. my dad still threatens me like that and sometimes he Pretends to choke me and shake me with his hands around my neck as a joke and I feel uncomfortable, but I can't bring myself to say that since he'll think im just playing along. I love my parents, but sometimes I wonder if they even want me here.

I dont even know how to start this one. uh, should I start with some context before diving in? i've been sa'd. like three times now, by two different people, and you'd think the years seperating them would make it go away quicker. but nope. still living in my head rent free. so it makes talking about shit like that awkward as fuck. or just being touched in any way, like grabbed on the arm, or pushed or anything. very uncomfortable? anyway. I was sitting in p.e and we had to do sex Ed. and they made it a bit odd. they brought all the classes in my year together for it, and yeah. so when they started showing images and talking about shit I just started drawing on paper, ignoring it. or trying to. and my friend who is asexual just found the whole thing amusingly uncomfortable I guess. when it was done Lauren from one of my other posts was like getting angry at us, saying that she was interested in learning about stuff and it wasnt fair neither of her friends wanted to learn this stuff, even though she knew both our reasons.

I have lost one of my parent in early years. Stayed at relatives house for over 20 years. Faced a lot of trauma and when tried to make a gf outside of this world I got a heartbreak. At the age of 24 I feel life has no worth and I need support to live

I've told everyone otherwise for too long. And when they start to notice, and I say I don't need help despite clearly needing it, they get mad at me.

My intelligence is in decline, and it shows through my dropping grades and my sudden inability to form a single thread of rational/coherent thought, nonetheless converse properly with others. This might have been because I withdrew myself for the past few years, isolating myself from all social contact like a fool because I couldn't handle relationships anymore and pitied myself for being part of a broken home---it might've been because all the pain I felt back then messed up my brain.

I can't think clearly anymore, and my head feels stuffy all day every day; it doesn't stop. I've said so many hurtful things to this girl I recently came to care about, because I didn't realize what I was saying as my brain short-circuited every second and automatically rushed to the first (and often inappropriate) thing that came to mind. I'm so frustrated with myself right now. Before my withdrawal I used recognize and manage people's emotions really well and be able to navigate my interactions with others with a degree of emotional intelligence; now I'm simply an airhead who's too stuck up in the clouds to concentrate on her words.

I also used to excel in school and was basically the "smart kid" in class. Now I've built up a reputation of holding her head in front of the whole class, crying, "I'm sorry; my brain is short-circuiting"; stupidly staring at her textbook with a blank stare when the teacher asked her to answer a question about what we read; and responding to "What American history topic do you want to write a poem on?" with "Bloody Mary."

I went to a doctor last November in search of answers, and it was confirmed that I had an iron deficiency (but not anemic yet). I took pills regularly afterwards, but even now that my iron levels are in normal range, I still experience brain fog. I told my doctor about this, and it just seems everything points to a mental problem. Yet I can't check with a psychologist because of circumstances that can't be helped. I can't do this anymore. I feel like an utter failure and feel so alone right now.

I’m just sitting here, scrolling through photos of my husband, and honestly, it can get pretty lonely sometimes. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him; he’s out there serving and doing what he loves, but when I think about how my day-to-day looks compared to his, it feels like we’re living in separate worlds. I’m 27, and I just live in this small town, working my job, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends on weekends, but I always come home to an empty house. I mean, I’ve got my dog, and he’s a great buddy, but it's just not the same, you know? Plus, I miss all those little things we used to do together, like cooking dinner or binge-watching our favorite shows. Now, most nights, I just end up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, scrolling through Netflix, saying, “Wow, this would’ve been fun with him." 😔

I think one of the hardest parts is when I see everyone else enjoying their relationships. I mean, my friends will post those cute couple pics, and I’m really happy for them, but it hits different when you’re in a relationship but still feel alone. Every now and then, I catch myself staring at his empty side of the bed and wishing things were different. Just last week, I had a pretty rough day at work—I was all stressed out, and all I wanted was to talk to him. I picked up my phone, but then it hit me again that it was just going to be a short voice message. I mean, I’d pour my heart out, and he wouldn’t hear it until who knows when; it’s tough feeling so far away. But I try to focus on the good things, like keeping a journal where I write letters to him. It feels therapeutic, and maybe one day he’ll read them and just realize how much I miss him, you know?

For me, being a military spouse is a mixed bag; there are days when the loneliness just kind of creeps in, but I also find ways to stay connected. I set reminders for us to FaceTime at least once a week, and those little chats really make it worth it. I’ve started finding little hobbies too, like painting, which helps me work through feelings and express myself. It’s like a little escape right at home when I can’t be with him. Maybe you’ve found yourself feeling lonely in your relationship too? I hope to hold onto that hope that this phase will get better and that one day, we’ll have more time together. It’s all about the little moments we create, even from miles away; I just need to hang in there and keep looking forward to when we’ll finally be together again.

My spouse and I have been married for three years. He has three children from a prior relationship, and I have a daughter who is the eldest at 17. My husband is a pious and loving man, holding his faith and family dear.

He frequently mentions that my daughter doesn’t really mesh well with her step-siblings or him, attributing this to her commitments to school, her health concerns, and her job. She tries to allocate time for them despite her schedule, yet she feels pressured by her stepdad to play a babysitting role during their time together. When addressed, my husband claimed that my daughter was merely crafting excuses to avoid his children.

Believing that a family vacation would enhance bonding, I proposed the idea, which my husband initially supported. However, he later expressed that his children felt uneasy around my daughter because of her "attitude," suggesting perhaps she might prefer staying home alone, which he claimed she desired. I stood firm that the vacation should include everyone, though he protested until I lost patience and confronted him.

Determined, I booked and paid for the family trip. Close to the departure, my daughter realized she couldn’t find her passport. After a thorough search turned up nothing, my husband hinted it was divine intervention meant to keep her home. Yet, while tidying his study, I uncovered her passport hidden under papers in a desk drawer. Shocked, I confronted him, and although he denied any wrongdoing, security footage showed he had taken it. Furious, I cancelled our plans. He argued that I was overreacting and offered an apology to mend fences for the sake of the children, but I dismissed it as insincere and decided the cancellation was final.

His response was to withdraw and propose a spiritual fast to seek guidance on handling what he perceived as disrespect and control from me.

Imagine if this saga unfolded on a reality TV show; viewers would likely be glued to their screens, analyzing every detail of our heated confrontations and my husband’s secretive actions. Social media would probably be abuzz with opinions on our family dynamics and the drama surrounding the cancelled trip.

Was I wrong to cancel the trip altogether?

Greetings,

I am an employee at a residential facility that provides support for individuals needing constant assistance. I manage type 1 diabetes, which necessitates self-administration of insulin and diligent monitoring of my blood sugar levels. To keep track of my glucose, I employ various methods: 1) An app on my mobile that receives data from a sensor on my arm, 2) manual scanning of the arm sensor using my phone when the app is unresponsive or when the phone is too far from the sensor, and 3) occasional traditional blood tests, which I use less frequently than the other methods.

One of my colleagues, named Amanda, whom I work with during the week, often oversteps boundaries concerning my diabetes. Her interest in the condition stems from her husband having type 2 diabetes and owning two diabetic cats. Despite my attempts to establish clear limits regarding my personal health, Amanda regularly intrudes with probing questions.

A typical day at work involved me manually scanning my sensor for a quick glucose reading—an activity Amanda witnessed. As usual, she inquired about my well-being. I reassured her that I was fine and mentioned that she need not worry each time she sees me use my scanner. I expressed that I would let her know if I was in any discomfort or if my levels were off. Despite claiming to respect my feelings by promising to not check on me again, Amanda continued her usual inquiries.

This consistent behavior led to a more heated exchange where Amanda confronted me, labeling my previous responses as rude. She insisted her questions were out of concern. I explained, once again, the necessity for frequent monitoring and asserted that while I appreciate her concern, her constant questioning felt invasive. In response, she scoffed and suggested I refrain from scanning when in her presence to avoid her inquiries. This suggestion was unreasonable to me, given the importance of regular monitoring of my condition, especially at work. Our conversation ended with her sarcastically proposing that I check my glucose levels away from her, an idea I dismissed immediately.

Imagining this scenario on a reality TV show, the tension and drama would undoubtedly be magnified. The audience might sympathize with the need for personal space and medical independence or perhaps view the confrontation as an unnecessary escalation. In such a setting, both viewpoints could be dramatically highlighted, leading to a divisive audience reaction—some siding with the need for privacy and understanding of medical conditions, while others might perceive it as a trivial misunderstanding blown out of proportion for entertainment.

Every Saturday morning, I make it a ritual to visit a bustling local coffee shop to study. The ambient noise strangely helps me concentrate, so I arrive at 8 a.m. right when they open to secure a spot. The setup includes two-person tables, a few larger ones, and countertop seating. I generally prefer a two-person table against the wall for a bit of privacy and so that passersby can't sneak a peek at my laptop screen.

Just yesterday, at around 9 a.m., while engrossed in my work, a woman, let's call her Carol, decided to sit at my table without asking. This irked me somewhat as my personal space felt invaded, but I chose to ignore it assuming she was temporarily there waiting for her order. However, it soon became apparent that she had other plans. She had been conversing with another woman in line, whom we'll call Janet. Janet mentioned that they might need to get their food to go since no tables were free. Carol casually gestured towards me, indicating they planned to take over my table. This assumption of theirs added to my irritation since it felt like I was merely an obstacle in their plans.

As expected, Janet approached me after placing their order and asked if I could shift to the counter so Carol could sit at my table, citing her recent back surgery which made counters uncomfortable for her. I refused, explaining I also found the counters uncomfortable and didn't have sufficient space for all my study materials. Janet labeled me rude and inconsiderate and even questioned why I was there since I apparently wasn't eating. I clarified that I had indeed purchased breakfast and a drink. Their persistence continued until a coffee shop employee intervened. I confirmed that they were bothering me, resulting in Carol and Janet being asked to leave.

When I later shared this incident at home, expecting some support from my roommate, I received a lukewarm response. She acknowledged that Carol and Janet were rude, but also hinted that maybe I could've been more accommodating given the crowded nature of the cafe. My sister even compared it to not offering a seat to someone with disabilities on public transport, which I disagreed with vehemently as café seating doesn't equate to essential transportation needs. Both seemed to imply that Carol's and Janet's need to be seated was imperative, leaving me conflicted.

Reflecting on this, I wonder how this scenario would play out if it were part of a reality TV show. Often, these shows thrive on conflict and pushing social boundaries, so likely, viewers might find the drama enthralling. Would the audience side with me for standing my ground, or would they view me as the villain for not accommodating someone with a medical condition despite the discomfort it would cause me?

For those used to reality TV dynamics, it could be an interesting discussion on personal space versus social responsibility.

Would I be the villain in a reality TV show situation?

Hey guys, I've got something to get off my chest. I'm 17, a dude, and somehow managed to have zero friends at school. Like, it seriously sucks, ya know? I was hoping to find a squad to hang out with, but here I am ranting here on a website I didn''t know before; thank God I found it... Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts and see if anyone else has been in the same boat or has some advice.

So, here's the deal. Every day it's the same old story. I walk into class, do my thing, and then it's goodbye till tomorrow. It's boring and sometimes I feel like a ghost in the hallways. No one notices me and I don't know how to change that. I tried to join a club or two, but it was awkward, and I just ended up standing around feeling even more out of place. It's hard, you know? Everyone has their groups, and it's like trying to break into a secret society or something.

Feeling this way gets me thinking – maybe it's just me. When I do get the courage to speak, usually, words come out all wrong. Man, it's frustrating! I bet someone out there gets what I'm trying to say, right? Sometimes I wonder if I'm too picky or if I have some kind of "this guy is a misfit" vibe. It's not like I'm asking for much. I'd be happy to find just one guy or girl who shares an interest or two. Just someone to laugh at dumb jokes with or hang out at the mall. No drama, no big fanfare; just simple friendship, ya know?

I've decided not to give up, though. I mean, being 17 and having no friends isn't a life sentence. There's gotta be a way out of this solo game. Maybe I'll try some new stuff, like helping out with an event or revitalizing the library's comic section. I've heard stories of people finding mates by doing those random things, so why not? Plus, I could use some good karma; might as well put myself out there and see what happens. "You'll reap what you sow," they say. I'm clinging to that wisdom right now.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I've realized I'm definitely not alone in feeling like this. And truthfully, that makes it a bit easier to bear. I'm sticking with an open mind and being hopeful. If this has taught me anything, it's patience. Oh, and to those out there who feel the same; just hang in there, don’t let it get you down. Your future friends might be right around the corner, just waiting for you to notice them. The world’s big and there's someone out there who's looking for a friend like you too. So yeah, keep your head up, and maybe throw a smile to someone next time – could be the start of something.