Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

How could I have ended up alone? I tried to do everything right with others. I tried to fit in with others. I tried to do everything to connect, and I still haven't succeeded. It can't be that at this point in my life, I've ended up alone. This is hell for me, from every perspective.

I'm envious of the friends I met, the ones I've interacted with, because they have lives, and I don't. I'm starting from scratch, like a newborn baby, except I don't have the chance to go to preschool. How do people like me want to start over? I'm looking for a new life.

It can't be that I have to settle for the life I had. In fact, I'm alone because I felt that the life I had, its relationships, were ineffective and actually harmed me in terms of my development, in terms of my ideals of taking care of myself, of my spirituality.

I was building a life based on trampling on that, however, I found it wasn't the path, because it didn't allow me to be free, to be critical, to be aware of what was happening in my life. It was like being at the mercy of injustice, of unconsciousness, and there's nothing worse than that. I feel that's why I stayed alone, because I didn't support those kinds of thoughts. My goal in life was to be conscious and to defend that no matter what, and frankly, I'm proud of it.

Unlike when I started writing, I'm happy to be alone if it means keeping a distance from people who don't advocate for consciousness, for self-exploration, regardless of the path I have to take. And I have to say, even in these, therapists have been a hindrance, which is why I also had to keep my distance. To this day, I'm glad to have recognized that both this environment and this help, in the end, only advocated for a defective, half-baked, and non-holistic development.

Without a doubt, many of your lives are filled with girlfriends, friends, and well-paying jobs. However, I need to point out, they are prisons, at which point you have decided to sell your conscience in exchange for conformity, in exchange for receiving defense and a position of power by following a trend in which other people are also involved, and not being alone when faced with a situation. Of course, all of this is based on not believing in yourself, and it's just the opposite; it's the starting point I want for my life.

Indeed, being alone, unlike in your case, which means having deliberately disconnected from relationships, in my case represents the constant reinforcement of my belief in myself, as a starting point, to safeguard my life. Without a doubt, this prevents me from being attentive to others. I will be attentive when there are commitments, but in the meantime, I won't. It's interesting to have them, but you also have to admit that they are out of your control, and they are better when they happen spontaneously.

I feel sorry for myself for reaching this point of remaining alone solely to strengthen my spirituality and allow life to move forward completely naturally, allowing it to be contemplated as such. Creating artificial moments is precisely covering up those spiritual points that need to be worked on, and that's what I don't want; I need to develop them in order to achieve this goal with spirituality. Now I understand why I have the life I have.

It must be said, in the midst of this accumulation, which indeed pressures and makes one feel overwhelmed, many take advantage of it to make suggestions, which is simply a way of taking advantage of a development of ideas, a boiling point of ideas, to gain a follower. This is an attack on their development, on their individuality.

My life’s been horrible since my parents died when I was like— 15 or smt

They died from a plane crash :/ yes so tragic, I wish this was a fictional story bc I went through way too much while living. I raised my brother ( practically ), he was just 4 or 5 when the incident happened;;;

Ok and now he got cancer— heart cancer level 4– and if the dear doctors had the guts to actually take care of him rather than scam me for money, maybe my life would’ve been so much better.

Yet this girl had the audacity to show up in my life like bro’s crazy or smt— she was yandere asf but luckily didn’t kill ppl— I guess that made my 1st year of university trouble

But hey now I’m in the police agency and I have a boyfriend :/ but guess what? Fate had to make my life worse by making this criminal send him into coma— we don’t even know when it will end

And worse of worst, my brother died last week ;(

Tbh I would just like to die rn or shiz, but I swear I’ve gone through a case where this teen’s sister committed suicide, I saw the look of sadness in his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to commit as well

So I guess destiny made me have financial problems and loss problems like wtf is even wrong with my life?

Moomy, sorry if I swear in some of these and please promise not to get angry because I haven’t told anyone this and I feel like crap anyways

I couldn't finish 3 of my exams. I couldn't the last 2 questions of biology, I couldn't finish 1 section in Hindi, and I couldn't finish half the paper in maths. I will fail even all the subjects. Maybe I didn't study enough for all of them. I'm a failure to everyone. I'm a failure in life. I don't have friends, I studied but I didn't have practice, I'm apparently rude to everyone and everything, I can't even draw like my beloved artists, I can't do art in the future because you'll replace me, and I won't pass school next year. It may be the second term and I have one more, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. I've never been. The list should've helped me because I would've been a great human, not the defective fetus my parents were given. That's all I am. Failure. Always will be, unless I figure out a way to just stop. Stop harming others with this mess, because my existence of failing alone is bad.

Nobody wants a failure, nobody wants to fail. Because look where failure got others. People failed to check the reactor core of Chernobyl, many people of Ukraine and other countries died. Someone scored very low in school, he was held back a year and continues like that, even though he's happy now. Someone failed a driving test, so they never drive again because they probably ran over someone. Someone failed an exam, and their parents beat the hell out of them or they get horrible treatment. Someone out there failed to get his family any food in a poor village and they die. Someone who was a topper in 8th became a failure in 12th and never ever got accepted to any college EVER. See? Failure hurts and it destroys. It’s like a cancer, a mutation which occurs when a DNA code fails. Failure’s a prion, a cancer, a mutation. I hate it when books tell kids in school, failure should help you learn. It helped me learn to not fail and resent it. My parents may have been fine, but I don't care. I'm a failure, and I should leave the house because I said so. Dad's right when he says lots of Indian families hate failure, I should too. He's not right when he says it's not good. Stop lying, dad!

Look where it f—king got me. I feel like I failed in everything. How am I gonna make it in this world? I won't. If I fail in one more thing, I'm a useless child. I hate it when they say you can learn and do better from failure. I hate it when dad says not to fear failure. Look where failure got others in the real world! Death! Destruction! Famine! Held back a year! Loss of friends! Abuse! More death! This will happen to me. It will. Didn't failure hurt them?

That's why I'm a problem. I may have been born by loving parents, but right now I feel like they secretly hate me, even though they seem fine. I burnt everything I touched, maybe this fail is it. I failed at maintaining 1 friend, at succeeding exams, at being nice and humorous, at being smart, at looking good and being in the trend, many things. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst thing ever to happen. Why even though I studied I couldn't finish the paper? I'm too slow like a snail, that is! I’m fat, ogre-like and as ugly as someone’s hairy armpits. I hate it when my mom said not to think on her behalf. Making predictions is what we do. Stock workers do it to predict the market trends. Even if she scored 5th topper IN SCHOOL, why is she telling me she also failed? It's a lie! Farce! Fake! Farzi! She's lying that she failed. She's not showing love, it's a story she cooked out of her mother-head to comfort her child. If I hate myself, I'll get better. I'm a worthless, useless, piece of sh-t, v—na candle smelling, stupid, pig-like, hairy, baboon-ish creature who deserves to not live for all her f—king failures. If I hate myself, I'll get better. Isn't it how it works? I admit my failure, I remind myself of them again and again, and I'll improve. It’s what I’ve been told by someone I don’t remember a long time ago.

My high was a waste. My high of feeling better and more confident was an utter waste pulled out my a-s that I really regret because I feel so stupid. Don’t try to convince me failure is good for me. Failure is bad for everyone. Remember my examples? They’re true! I feel more useless than ever. Like my high of positivity and small confidence was wasted. What do you mean I should think more positive, if this is the sandpit it got me to? I hate it when people say it. I’m sorry, but I also hate the fact even my own family hates cynicism and honesty, even though dad embodies both. Hatred of oneself happens when that person understands they are nothing more than their flaws. I’m nothing more than a stupid, short, fat, hairy, ugly, brace-faced, curly-haired, unskilled, lazy, abusive sister, daughter, girl and even human being. Being “positive” is stupid. Look where hoping got me. I didn’t f-cking finish the goddamn paper. My hope that I will finish was a farce and a fart. Listen here, stupid sheeple. POSITIVITY GETS YOU NOWHERE. Say it louder for the people at the back! Don’t tell me to care for myself and look at things to make me happy. Don’t tell me to “LIST PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS WELL AS THINGS

YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO.” “LOOK AT POSITIVE IMAGES AND THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD.” or even the stupidest, dumbest and most STINKIEST one, “WRITE DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND THEN RIP THEM UP OR THROW THEM AWAY.” How the actual hell does ripping up your negative make you better? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANYONE FEEL BETTER, FAKE SCIENTIST! I’M A PRODIGY, A TINFOIL-WEARER IN THE MATRIX OF FOOLS! DON’T SAY SUCH STUPIDITY, YOU HAGS, SLOTHS, MORONS, HAIR-EATERS!

Dad now thinks I’m a lying, dramatic, piece-of-sh-t daughter who’s only doing this to piss him off. Wow, great observation father! I just love how smart you are! I’m not upset, I’m aroused! I AM a psychopathic, cringe daughter! I am the Belle Gibson wannabe who successfully fooled the goddamn world into thinking she’s got cancer, when bloody lady’s got everything fine and set out for her! I’m a girl who’s farting out problems, and using my tongue! Ever considered cutting it off and removing my teeth? B-TCH?! WANNA F-CKING HURT ME? GO AHEAD. Not that you care if whatever I’m going through now is real or fake, I’m Belle Gibson, Moriarty, Kokichi, all chronic liars! I’M A LIE! And lies deserve to be killed and obliterated by God! IS GOD EVEN REAL? I don’t care, go ahead! Send me away to a sh-t Indian school where nobody cares and they all beat and probably r-pe me, because guess what, I’m toughening up! I’m having the ass of a monkey, callouses as hard a stone!! I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR GOD IS REAL I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED I’M A LIAR I DESERVE TO NOT HAVE LOVE I’M A LIAR AND I SHOULD BE JAILED AND TORTURED AND R-PED AND KILLED AND SLAUGHTERED AND EATEN!!

So don’t even begin to think about how I can improve, because I can never, ever, ever succeed next unit, or ever, in life for ANYTHING. Plain and simple, 1 + 1 = 2.

Soo, I have digital photo class for my final I have to submit photos, whatever, I pick my sister as my model.. Today, was a busy day, so I decided to take pictures outside @ 8 pm. I’m always aware of my surroundings, checking every car that drives past as I hide my camera( don’t wanna get mugged🙄🙄) but this guy drives past and I can sense he stopped by not looking and all I hear is “period bitch” trying to be cheeky and stuff. mind you my sister is 13. And it might sound like a compliment but it was uncomfortable for her. He probably thought she was older. But I’m just sharing this bc I need to get it off my chest. I told my mom and her she was like “that’s why I didn’t want yall outside” should’ve taken her word. But for me I think this just a trauma thing for me. I seen women get catcalled online or either in person. And it has taking a toll on what I dress, not liking tight shirts and stuff, thinking it was drawing attention which it shouldn’t.. (for anyone wondering why I took pictures outside late was bc of my theme for my photo, Polaroid nostalgia)

I can't believe I've come to feel like such a fool. Love isn't supposed to revolve around financial perspectives or differing life philosophies. It should be anchored purely in the depths of affection and the love you harbor for one another. Yet, here I am, having ended things with the person I thought I'd spend my life with because our outlooks clash drastically. Emily, the woman I adored, is committed to pursuing a career in Naturopathic medicine, aiming to help cancer patients. She holds beliefs that vaccinations could lead to autism among other controversial views that mainstream science often disputes, like the effectiveness of homeopathy.

While I acknowledge that overprescription is a problem in modern healthcare, I cannot forsaid modern medicine entirely, which has proven its efficacy time and again. Naturopathic doctors may serve as complementary alternatives, and while it's acceptable for some to suggest turmeric for a minor bruise, it's entirely different when it comes to serious diseases.

Feeling utterly conflicutcoming from all this doubts whether love alone should suffice when fundamental beliefs diverge so significantly. Especially during our last heated discussion, it pained me to focus on the financial strains her schooling would impose on us—around $200,000 in debt. It feels low to have allowed monetary concerns to overshadow what was a decade of love and companionship. Deep down, my friends and family advise me that these things shouldn't matter, but for me, they do, and it's tearing me apart.

As I mourn the loss of our ten-year relationship, I wonder how different this scenario would play out if it were on a reality show. Perhaps the audience would be split, with some empathizing with my practical concerns and others rooting for love to conquer all obstacles, no matter the cost or difference in beliefs. The pressure and scrutiny from public opinion could potentially sway my decisions or amplify my doubts.

Hey y'all, I’m a 21-year-old just trying to figure out life and navigate my emotions. So, I've been thinking a lot about how sensitive I am. Anyone else feel like they're just way too easily affected by the stuff people say? It seems like whenever someone even hints at criticism or throws a side-eye, I'm over here like, “Ouch, why did you have to say it like that?" Is it just me, or do we all have a little sensitive soul hiding in there?

Honestly, being sensitive can sometimes feel like a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it makes you empathetic and more in tune with others’ emotions. But on the flip side, it can be downright exhausting. I came across this quote by Shannon L. Alder that says, "Sensitivity isn’t about having a thin skin. It’s about experiencing the world around you more intensely than others do." It got me wondering if there’s a way to channel this sensitivity into something that doesn’t drain me or make me feel bad all the time. Any thoughts?

I’ve asked around and a lot of folks seem to say, “Just toughen up!” Like, seriously? If only it were that easy! I do think there's something to be said about learning to let things roll off your back. Some suggest meditation or those self-help books on stoicism, which makes me think of that popular book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. It's interesting how he says finding something meaningful to care about can help filter out what doesn't genuinely matter. Do any of you guys practice this? Does it actually help?

Trying to figure out how to be less sensitive, I’m starting to wonderr if it really means changing who I am or just accepting it and learning how to deal with it better. I've read that simple steps like mindfulness, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-care are crucial. But it’s like, where do you even start with that? Journaling seems to help some folks. Apparently, it’s good for understanding and processing emotions, without them dictating how you feel every time someone looks at you funny.

Are any of you on this same journey? 🤔 I am all ears for any advice or personal experiences you want to share about ways you've tried or how you've succeeded in being less sensitive. It seems like a tightrope walk between staying true to yourself and not letting every little comment get under your skin. How do you balance that? I’m curious to hear if you have found a way or if it's just something you learn to live with. Anyway, thanks for listening, and any insight would be really appreciated!

so this is a follow-up of my last post

I accidentally told the guy I like that I like him while his partner which i didn't know was his partner or that he had one was on the phone to him. his partner felt insecure and asked him to reject me which I completely understand as I did tell this guy I liked him while his partner was the phone. I said it was all okay while trying to cry. I then get a message from him apologising for the way things went down but I get why he did what he did. his partner then asked him to unadd me on snap which he said he didn't want to do but I told him it was his choice and I would understand either way so he did unadd me but he screenshotted my username b4 he unadded me so idk what that means. did I do the right thing by being so chill about it and why am I upset about it. have u ruined our friendship with this confession

Long vent

Super, super long day today. I feel exhausted and just honestly like a wet rag.

Had two tests today and idk how to feel about them. I don't think they went bad, but i do think i could've done better. I did study, but not as much as i wanted to, cause yesterday i felt really bad and couldn't continue for a while. I just kinda wanted to go home and sleep forever, but then my mom told me that this morning my grandpa called (from my dads side, we're not good terms with them) and got aggressive and insulted her over the phone. Now she'd like me to call him and defend her, I think. Maybe argue back and throw some insults of my own. But i get really nervous in arguements and It takes nothing to make me start crying, and Just the thought of calling and argueing with them specifically freaks me out. I don't know what do right now. I'm just tired of everything.

Tuesday 4:48-4:57 February 4th.

I’m 14 and was volunteering at a musical. Devon asked for me the first time asking me to bring el to him and that I can’t tell anyone and to make sure she’s alone (she’s in tech) she said she had beef with him and didn’t wanna go alone so she brought leelind (10th grader also in tech) el said that he looked like he wanted to say something then leelind walked in and she asked about a student. Then he asked Tristan (in tech) to bring me (Kiera) to him. I walked in and said “what do you need” and he responded with “I don’t know how to ask you this but, I can’t get bricked. I’ve been sitting here trying to and I can’t get bricked.” And I said “ok? What am I supposed to do about your problem.” And he changed the subject by saying “has anyone uhh you know, hit a home run? (Basically asking me if I have had sex.) you know what mean right?” Then my friend Asten walked in and he completely changed the subject and then I paused to think about what I should do. I wanted to get out of the situation so I said “oh my mom’s calling me.” Then I left the room to call my mom and have her pick me up, but when. I called her Devon was waiting around the Corner for me to be done. I went into the back room where Eli was and told him what was happening and Ashton came in so I also told her. Eli then starting following me around to make sure Devon would stop following me. My mom was on her way and as I picked up my backpack he asked “do you wanna have sex” I told him no and that I had a boyfriend then he started asking who and followed me out. Luckily Eli Humphrey (in tech) followed me out to make sure Devon didn’t, luckily Devon stopped following me and then Eli made a comment saying “freaking pervert” acknowledging that Devon was being weird and harassing me. I then sprinted out of the school to my dad

My sister found herself without a home recently, following a devastating storm in North Carolina that ravaged through her town while she was attending my wedding in Illinois. For privacy reasons, I'll refrain from naming the specific town. They were fortunate not to be there during the tragedy, and she, along with her family, has been living with me for nearly three weeks now.

Living together has been challenging, especially with kids around. I’m raising a spirited six-year-old and a curious two-year-old who seems to have an intrinsic knack for finding trouble. Consequently, I've had to secure everything, from cabinets to door handles, and even outlet covers. It's crucial for my toddler's safety.

From the moment my sister arrived, she's voiced her discontent with the childproof locks placed around the house, frequently leaving them disengaged. This negligence has allowed our toddlers to rummage through the house, continuously discovering things they shouldn't. It has proved not only messy but also dangerous.

I've approached her multiple times about the importance of keeping the locks engaged, but she deflects, citing the devastation of losing her home as a reason for her carelessness. Despite having sympathy for her immense loss, I am stressed by the constant chaos in my household.

The situation reached a breaking point yesterday when my two-year-old managed to sneak into the cleaning supply closet. Thankfully, he only grabbed a broom, but the potential risk sparked a heated argument between my sister and me. In the moment, overwhelmed by frustration, I suggested she find another place to stay. Though she hasn't moved out yet and our communication has since ceased, I regret how I handled the situation.

Imagine if all this family drama were playing out on a reality show. Cameras capturing every heated argument and cold silence could perhaps sway public opinion, with viewers possibly sympathizing more with her situation or criticizing her for not respecting my home rules despite her recent hardships. Reality TV has a knack for dramatizing personal conflicts, often amplifying the emotional intensity of each interaction.

Now, I'm left wondering how others might perceive this turmoil if it were laid bare on television for everyone to see. Would the audience be more understanding of my response, or would they judge me harshly for not accommodating my sister further in her time of need?

So here it goes...I am in college right now and we make friends in the first semester and hope to remain as friends throughout college life. But here is the twist, my friend told that I am not "fun" enough for as in comparison to a guy and her relative who was also a friend of mine felt the same and both of them completely stopped talking to me. I asked why did they do so and they cited this reason. Now I have no friends in college because I am such an introvert. I feel like a failure at this point. I felt so hurt but I can't just think about them. I have my whole life to be sorted...finish college, get a nice job and make my parents proud. I also give auditions to sing an I did not get selected for that either. I have just lost hope in my life now. I just wanted to vent this out and remove this negative feelings out of my body once and for all.

Mother-in-law story here but I am the MIL!

At 63, managing life as a bustling single mother and grandmother isn't simple. I live with three of my children, who are 22, 26, and 30 years old, along with my beloved grandson. Life is full but fulfilling in its own unique way. My eldest son and his wife, who live several hours away, visited us last weekend. During their stay, my daughter-in-law took a moment to express her concerns about my household's current situation. She tactfully mentioned her worry about her siblings-in-law not pursuing further education or long-term careers. Her remarks hinted that she found the lack of progress and independence in my adult children disconcerting.

Since their move, the frequency of their visits has lessened, which had puzzled me until now. When asked, my daughter-in-law pointed out the practical issues such as the lack of sleeping space, hinting that the living arrangements were hardly ideal for guests. It's been eight years since she joined our family and our relationship had always been pleasant. However, her recent observations, layered with a certain air of judgment, did catch me off guard. She's a professional nurse and played a significant role in encouraging my son to specialize in IT. Meanwhile, the rest of us have continued with our regular jobs, managing to keep ourselves economically stable.

Her insight into our living dynamics seemed to stir a notion that we were somehow lagging behind ideal societal milestones. This perspective, particularly as they consider starting their own family, seemed to magnify her apprehensions. Challenged by her viewpoint, my response, perhaps sharper than intended, suggested she might have married into the wrong family. This remark apparently wounded her, as my son later pointed out, indicating I had hurt her feelings. While she possibly meant well, her comments pierced me too, suggesting a dissatisfaction with our family dynamics.

On a different note, imagine if this scenario played out on a reality show. The sparks would fly! Reality TV thrives on the tensions that arise from such family dynamics and heartfelt exchanges. Cameras rolling as the confrontation unfolded would likely amplify our reactions for dramatic effect, perhaps encouraging viewers to take sides. The episode would probably conclude with cliff-hanger music, leaving the audience eager to tune in next week and see if family bridges are burned or built stronger.

Yes very random i have wanted a tablet since 2022!! My parents say they can get it for me but I don’t think that’s happening. Rn I can’t afford the regular $800+ iPads so is temu an option? So I just want to use the tablet for drawing!(and animating!) drawing on my laptop and phone hasn’t been very comfortable..

For as long as I can remember, I've been the go-to organizer for all of our group activities. Whether planning getaways, dinners, or gatherings, it was a role I thoroughly enjoyed — until it became less about fun and more about expectation. Recently, my role as the organizer has morphed in the eyes of my friends, who playfully nicknamed me the “mom” of our group. At first, it was amusing when they commented on my punctuality or joked about not having to sweat the small stuff because I'd have it covered. But when "Mom" became my moniker in our group chats, the term of endearment felt more like a taken-for-granted label.

Our latest trip was meticulously planned by me, as usual. I organized everything from the Airbnb to the itinerary. While I hoped for some involvement or at least gratitude from my friends, all I got were more jokes and no offers to help. Pushed to my limit, I decided to cancel the entire trip. This led to an explosion of disappointed and angry reactions from my friends, who accused me of being an overreactor and spoiling the fun needlessly. Now, they’re offended, and I’m left questioning my decision: Was canceling the trip an overreaction on my part?

Moreover, the expectations and lack of recognition have left me feeling undervalued, prompting my drastic decision. If I can't enjoy our trips without feeling like a caretaker, maybe it was time they took on some of the responsibilities themselves.

Imagining how this scenario would unfold on a reality TV show adds a dramatic layer to the situation. There would likely be dramatic music as I announced the cancellation, followed by the shocked faces of my friends, each reacting in their unique ways. Interviews would follow where each friend laid out their frustration and confusion, and I'd explain my perspective in a tearful confession. Social media polls might pop up, with viewers siding either with my decision or against it, and dissecting every element of our group dynamics. It’s intriguing to think about how public opinion might sway in such a context.

Did I make the right decision cancelling the trip?

He knows I'm fucking crying and guess what he doesnt care. I feel so stupid for getting attached to him. He just wants a gf just for the sake of having me with him. When he wants to he'll be a good person and attentive and caring but when I need it hes not there. Its better to be alone rather than be with someone who makes you so sad. I'm an idiot for staying with him because he needs me. He says if you leave me I'll be alone. But he wants to pick and choose when to be a good bf. I'm checking out of this relationship. I feel bad for him but fuck I just keep caring less and less.