Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I’m not looking for advice because I know I’m gonna get an abortion I’m just shocked. Condom broke, neither of us realised, I got pregnant. I’m getting an abortion this weekend and I know it’s the best choice I’m just scared. No one’s explained to me what’s going to happen I feel so embarrassed. 😭

So, here I am, 21 years old and navigating the murky waters of relationships. My boyfriend recently proposed the idea of a DDLG relationship. Now, I’m not going to lie—I had no clue what that was. A quick Google search later, and I was hit with a wave of confusion and anxiety. DDLG stands for "Daddy Dom/Little Girl." The concept of engaging in a dynamic where one partner adopts a more parental or authoritative role while the other assumes a more youthful or submissive role just feels... strange to me. I mean, sure, it’s somewhat popular in certain circles, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone, right? 😟 It honestly threw me for a loop. All the discussions surrounding restraint, dominance, and playfulness sounded intriguing on the surface, but when I really started to think about the implications, I began to second-guess everything. I’ve always prided myself on being independent and assertive, which made the idea of being “little” feel unnerving. Am I supposed to act like a child or something? That just seems so far removed from who I am.

To make matters even more complicated, I began to wonder about the emotional dynamics at play. Trust is key in any relationship, but does venturing into this territory require a different level of trust? Can I really be vulnerable enough to rely on someone for that kind of care while simultaneously being afraid of crossing boundaries? I am all for intimacy and connection; however, I can't shake the feeling that something might get lost in translation. Plus, there’s a whole lot of stigma surrounding this kink—I mean, what would my friends think if they found out? Would they judge me? Would they perceive me as naïve or foolish? It’s enough to make anyone feel uneasy. And then there’s the concern about consent and negotiation. If I enter this world, how do I even navigate it respectfully? What if I find myself uncomfortable when things get too intense? It leaves me in this sea of doubt, feeling like I’m teetering on the edge of something that could either be freeing or entirely detrimental to my mental health;

i’ve been asking myself that question every single day since she left. how do you get over someone who didn’t break your heart with cruelty, but just… left? it’s been a few months now, and still, every morning i wake up hoping there’s a message from her, knowing there won’t be. she didn’t leave me because she stopped loving me—we never even had a real “ending.” she moved across the world for work, for family, for life, and i was left behind with all these feelings and nowhere to put them. i still remember the last time i saw her at the airport, tryin to be strong, pretending like it wasn’t the last time i’d see her for god knows how long. i smiled through it, kissed her cheek, told her i understood. but deep inside, it shattered me. we weren’t even official, not in the way people usually mean it, but i loved her. i really loved her. in that all-consuming, soft, terrifying way that makes your chest ache in the best and worst ways. and now she’s just... gone. in another time zone, living a life i’m not part of, and i don’t know how to move forward when a piece of me is still with her.

everyone says the usual things—“time heals,” “stay busy,” “you’ll meet someone else”—but none of it helps when all i want is her. i’ve tried. i’ve gone out, talked to new people, thrown myself into work, started hobbies i don’t care about just to keep my mind occupied. but nothing sticks. she’s still there, in every quiet moment. in songs i used to play for her, in cafés that remind me of our favorite spot, in the way i still sleep on one side of the bed. and maybe the hardest part is that i can’t even be angry. i can't hate her for leaving. she did what she had to do. but where does that leave me? stuck in this limbo where i keep pretending i'm okay when i'm not. people around me think i’ve moved on cause i smile and laugh and say “i’m fine,” but they don’t see me at night, lying awake wondering if she still thinks about me too. or if i was just a small chapter in her story while she became a whole book in mine. i miss her in ways i can’t even explain. not just her voice or her touch, but the feeling of being seen, really seen. she got me in a way no one ever has. and maybe that’s what makes it so hard—how do you get over someone who felt like home? maybe the truth is, you don’t really “get over” them. maybe you just learn to live around the ache, to make space for the memory without letting it swallow you whole. but right now? it still hurts. and i don’t know when it’ll stop.

I know it's bad to compare myself but sometimes I can't help it, it's not online people much as I stray away; instead, it's my own sister, her hair is amazing, getting compliments, called a diva by a gay guy, that one hurt, knowing I'm apart of that community, it was so embarrassing that it's hard for me to call myself a trans gay man knowing I'm just a loser, she many online friends as we're both homeschool, friends with anyone, and talks to the family, longer eyelashes. She's on her phone, probably texting her friends all the time. I have two normal sisters and then there's me, it's like everybody can see that I'm the weird one for my hobbies and how I look. I don't like being cynical so I've been working on that but now I just feel bad, comparing myself.

It's hard, investing in my looks by buying skincare, wigs, clothes, and even trying makeup even tho I'm shit at it, I'll never be as cute as those girls or boys online in my own eyes. I see people I relate to online, mainly girls but they're also pretty, I just wish I was at least pretty even tho I'm depressed and mentally ill.

My suicidal thoughts come randomly, "omg I'm 18 rn but I'll be 30 in 12 years and my life has amount to nothing! I should die rn." "Omg my sister is better than me and everyone can tell, she doesn't talk to me as much anymore, maybe I'm better off dead." "Omg my life is terrible and will stay that way, need to die before it gets worse."

My cousins, even the adults ones and their partners and my sis all have a group chat without me, it's like even my family thinks I'm weird or something. I just don't talk much so they probably assume I hate them or something.

That being said... should I try and make friends again? Even e-date around?

I feel like there are a mixture of ai responses and human responses on here, don't tell me to join a support group, I've been looking and trying. There's not many free ones and I have to keep waiting for the right day of the week to even join. Cant even get a therapist becuz I don't even have a doctor becuz my mom wants me to wait and do it with her. It's annoying. I feel like I'm in "learned helplessness", am I?

Anything is appreciated.

I'm not really asking for advice or anything. Anyways, I slept a lot in class today, haven't showered, eaten, drunk anything to the point where I felt weak. Sometimes I'm just severely depressed, but today I realized that's quite bad and I need to baby myself. I use to app to help others and myself, helping others also helps me help myself, idk why but I feel better and give the advice to myself. I decided to actually eat and everything. I feel better but I think the reason I do is because of my mind, like a clarity thing. Sometimes I take care of myself and I ask what the point is when I don't have anyone to go as I'm homeschooled and live in the south. I'm surprised I feel good today despite it not being sunny outside. I think it's because I stopped trying to make myself do everything when I'm in such a horrible state, like workout and cook. Those things feel hard when I can barely eat.

I also feel good because it can only go up from here. Idk tho, tomorrow I could do a complete 180 and feel suicidal again but hopefully not. I feel like I haven't gotten much happiness from my hobbies or whatever I got for the holidays. My hair is in a weird era rn because it's something you have to trust the process, I go back to my hairstylist in a few months. I need to but a wig lol. I'm looking forward to that, looking girly and all. Of course I'm looking forward towards summer.

It can also feel hard to study and do homeschool when I don't have my basic needs met aka like sleep, hunger, hygiene. I've been texting people who I think are very cool to become friends with them, I do 2 people a day. I started yesterday but neither of the previous guys have responded yet, that won't stop me tho. I know the friendships that I have now aren't really exactly what I need or anything. I one of my friends sends me friend appreciation posts which I really appreciate. I don't really have a best friend tho so I'm gonna work on that as well. I've learned that any short amount of discomfort or has experiences is worth it to keep finding my support group.

Like I have a guy friend but I literally get grossed out by him. He's overly sexual and even if he's not, I still feel the disgust. I was friends with him because I actually felt connected and he's the only other friend I have but at the same time...I've started to feel physically disgusted about his personality traits. I think all the sexual stuff ruined it and I just hate everything about him now to the point where I think he's nasty. I don't really know how to break that off, he's given me his email, number, State, and he hacked me because I made a joke about hacking him. He thought he ate that but all it did was make me scared of him. I just wanna do this without getting harmed, I know he won't take it well. He's autistic and ADHD so maybe he didn't understand the social cue. If I'm being honest, I don't have any healthy relationship with any men in my life, for family, most are violent. For online, very weird and just use you for sexual gratification. I've only had one healthy friendship with a guy online. I don't really know how to have a normal one but it's something I wanna search for.

I've been waiting on my mom because she said she'll help me get a new doctor as I've aged out of the kids doctor now. I'm quite impatient but I don't know how that process really works and if it's complicated so I'm just here. I also need to get my drivers license, the reason it's taken me long is because I'm terrified of driving and almost got hit but I've studied for two months straight so that's something. I also broke my glasses, they just kinda fell apart in my hand, I live in America and that stuff isn't covered, my mom said she'll figure it out on how to pay. I wish It was covered, I just wanna see, people take seeing humans for granted, I feel more anxious without my glasses because my brain is missing social quies and faces and much more. I just keep my head down to make sure I'm not doing anything awkward because I can't see someone.

To end it on a silly note, this is definitely limerence because I don't know him but there is a very cute guy who works at the fast food place, me and the family go to. We've made eye contact a couple times and he laughed because I kept looking away. Idk why but seeing him makes me happy. I low-key avoid eye contact because I told my mom about him and she embarrassed me by pointing at him to "make sure it's him I'm talking about" 🥲

I'm still living and that's enough, I just need to take one thing at a time. 🪷

I am from Philippines and I struggle with depression. I'm currently pregnant now, I'm 23 years old. I have finished my studies, I have now a profession, and a regular job. But my parents are disappointed in me by being pregnant because my boyfriend didn't finished his studies yet, he is a graduating student now. I feel depressed. Even I put up with my parents need of money they always see me as if I have committed the greatest sin on them. I don't want to abort this baby, also here in Philippines abortion is illegal. I can't really sleep because it bothers me a lot, I'm 6months pregnant now (25weeks and 2 days) and I'm depressed for everything my parents have made me feel, they told me things, very hurtful things because I am pregnant now

Right, so I'm from Northern England, and in the area where I'm from we drop our t's. A lot. And we all have quite broad accents.

I've always loved my accent, and thought it was a fun accent.

Now, my dad is from a city a bit away where they do have a Northern accent, but they dont drop their t's, he also went to speech therapy as a kid and because of this speaks a but more poshly than your average Northerner.

He always teases me about how I say 'letter' or 'butter' and all that, and I didn't mind. I just thought his jokes were funny.

But recently, he's started to become annoyed at my accent. It's not gotten worse or anything, it's the same as usual.

We had a minor argument where he said my accent made him sad and annoyed.

I thought he was joking, but he wasn't.

He started going on to me about how he wished I 'spoke properly' and that it'll be harder in life if I keep my accent. At how he wished I spoke like him, and how sad my accent made him.

But I can't bloody change my accent, in my opinion, it's part of my identity, its part of me. It felt like he was asking me to change my eye colour, change my body type.

I told him that I couldn't really change it, and he told me I should try.

And now, I just feel ashamed. I feel guilty for having my accent, and for the first time, I dont love my voice anymore.

I hate my accent now, and I can't even change it.

Really I just want to know if my dad is in the right here. Do I really need to change my accent, is it not acceptable?

Hey there! I'm reaching out from this space because I really need to chat, but finding the right person to talk to... Well, it's complicated. I'm 19, and being a female in this rapidly evolving world sometimes feels like navigating through a maze with no clear exit... The desire for genuine conversation is strong, but I'm at a crossroads when it comes to whom I should open up to. Can you relate? I've tried reaching out to friends, family, even strangers on the internet, but something holds me back each time. It's as though there's this invisible barrier that stops me from pouring my heart out fully. Maybe it's the fear of judgment or maybe it's just the uncertainty of how they'll respond. 🤷‍♀️

I've always believed in the power of words, but it's puzzling how, in this digital age, we're more connected than ever, yet finding a genuine, open conversation feels so rare. "Isn't it ironic?" Every time I think about reaching out, I get flooded with what-ifs that make me retreat into my shell. But I'm determined!!! I want to open up and talk; to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who'd truly listen. The positivity lies in hope that someday, I will find that person who makes the interaction worthwhile.❤ In the meantime, the quest continues, and I'll keep searching for that special someone out there who resonates with my words, and somehow, makes sense of this journey; I hold onto the belief that every conversation has the potential to be a stepping stone towards understanding and connection.

How is the vibe here? :)

man, i seriously screwed up this time. like what the hell was i even thinking? I'm 19, supposed to have my head on straight, but obviously, that's too much to ask for. so yeah, i cheated on my girlfriend, and now I'm sitting here feeling like the dumbest idiot to ever walk this earth. it ain't rocket science to be faithful, right? yet somehow, in my twisted brain, i found the loophole to mess it all up. it's not like i meant for this to happen, it wasn't even a planned thing, just a random, spur-of-the-moment stupid decision.

i mean, she's such a great girl; always there for me, supporting my crazy dreams when nobody else does. and what does she get in return? a boyfriend who likes to muck things up royally! like, how cool is that, folks? sometimes, i just wanna slap my past self and yell, “what the heck is wrong with you, man?” did my conscience take a vacation when this happened, or was i just not using the brain cells I'm supposed to have at 19? god, can things be messed up any more than this?

i remember that night vividly, you know? a few of us were chilling, one drink led to another, and before i know it, I'm making decisions dumber than a headless chicken. imagine realizing that one moment of stupidity can dismantle trust you took months, even years to build. honestly, i thought i was mature, handling life better than a lot of my friends drowning in drama. guess what? drama: 1, me: 0. anyone else been in that pit where you dig and dig but never seem to hit bottom?

but seriously, how do you even begin to fix something like this? first step: stop feeling sorry for myself, maybe. acknowledge that i was a total prick and try to make amends. but can you mend something that's totally shattered? do i even deserve another chance, or is it time to face the music and admit that i blew it? guess I'll find out soon enough. lesson learned? maybe, and you bet your *$! I’ll be wary next time my stupid brain decides to take a vacation again. isn't growing up a mess, though? 🤷‍♂️

For roughly a decade, I've shared a close bond with a friend I'll refer to as Mike. We initially crossed paths while working together in my mid-twenties, and since then, we've continued to be a part of a larger friend group. However, since the onset of the pandemic, our gatherings have become less frequent, though they haven't completely stopped.

Mike has been in a committed relationship with someone we'll call Ella (36F) for about eight years, and they got engaged nearly two years ago. Both have children from previous relationships, and they make it a point to organize family trips almost every year. Over the years, I've consistently helped them out by watching their house and taking care of their pets while they travel. I've also been there for other favors, such as the time last winter when I picked Ella up from the airport during a snowstorm, thanks to my more capable vehicle. Overall, I've made myself very available for them on top of our friendship.

Around five weeks ago, I learned through another friend that Mike and Ella's wedding was imminent and that invitations had already been sent out to everyone but me. Being gay, I've occasionally felt excluded from certain events with straight friends, both in minor and significant ways, but this situation really made me reflect on where I stand with people. I decided to take the hint and start pulling back.

Just three days ago, Mike messaged me, inquiring if I was free in early-to-mid August. When I confirmed my availability, he asked if I could look after their property like before. I declined politely, replying, “sorry, I can’t.” This led to a phone call which, although polite, had an underlying tension. Eventually, I told him straightforwardly that I couldn’t keep visiting and helping out if my role was to be that of a background friend. After a brief pause, I mentioned my hurt feelings about being the only one from our circle not invited to the wedding. We ended our conversation on a positive note, however, with my best wishes for their wedding and a suggestion to catch up over drinks later.

Two days later, Ella texted me. She explained that Mike was upset by our conversation and that she felt responsible since she had the final say on the guest list. She insisted that my exclusion was a misunderstanding due to limited space at the venue and that other friends' partners were simply taking up the available slots. She hoped I would reconsider and agree to help them, as it would reassure Mike significantly.

Although I understand nobody owes me an invitation or their company, isn’t it fair for me to establish my own boundaries in light of theirs? I don’t see my friendships as transactions, but it feels as though they only reached out because they needed something, especially since they didn't even mention the wedding until they needed a favor for their honeymoon.

Imagine if this scenario played out in a reality show setting. The drama and tension could potentially amplify, capturing audience interest. Viewers might speculate on the nuances of friendship dynamics, feeling sympathy or perhaps alignment with the reactions from both sides. The element of public opinion could have added pressure, influencing how each person handled the situation, potentially leading to on-camera confrontations or heartfelt reconciliations.

At first, I felt fine, before I realized: In your eyes, I'm a demon, right? Without an ending, I'm still pretending like I attended your funeral today. Overconsumption of your own compassion, put on perfume of iniquity. Now I could never dream of doing anything in such a way like you did to me, so, give me a taste of sovereignty, a lantern in the night. Get me away from history, from the cycle's bitter light, from existing out of spite.

Now do you hate me? Are you afraid of me? Are you able to feel culpability? Come forth, and kill me! Bow down, and worship name! Take your time! All we have is eternity! My name is unknown, something I've never told. On my own, I declare, "I DON'T WANNA GO HOME!" I've got a cut-throat delight as we carouse while you writhe. I'll put your fear in my drink tonight. Tonight, I'm chewing up and spitting out your pride. You got an iron dye where only God'll find. I took a photo of shame to remember you by. True colours make a pretty-picture memory, returning less than you gave to me. I know infinity, she howls with the past, as they gouge each other's eyes. I know duplicity, who once was a child born in villainy. I know infinity, she howls with the past, as they gouge each other's eyes. I know what hides in me, if only you knew the same... Now do you hate me? Are you afraid of me? Are you able to feel culpability? Come forth, and kill me! Bow down, and worship name! Take your time! All we have is eternity! My name is unknown, something I've never told. On my own, I declare, "I don't wanna go home!"

Culpability: Responsibilty for a fault or wrong; blame.

Nobody feels culpability anymore.

Except me.

And the only culpability I feel is other people's.

Its of course, a stupid problem. Which makes everything even worse. Like many people, I'm in the first week of my semester. And I swear EVERY teacher has to have an opinion on how I take notes and how I structure papers. And a grade on it.

I hate annotating. So of course I got a teacher who makes us annotate everything. I am actually excited for when she starts adding more requirements than "annotations present", because at least that's some structure.

On the other hand, I have a teacher who went overboard with structure and gave us a god damn style guide of how he wants the outlines for our reading formatted. He wants headings. He wants full sentences. He wants us to separate out the thesis statement and write a conclusion. Not that the chapter HAS a thesis statement. It jumps directly into its first point. It doesn't help that the book is nearly 20 years out of date.

I'm so angry I can barely see straight. I can't focus. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. But I need to get this done now or I wont get it done and these god forsaken outlines are a major part of our grade. Like, I get penalized twice if I don't do well on this first one, because he will CAP A LATER OUTLINE AT A B-. The man can't explain anything to save his life either: I had to google how to do an outline, and I still have zero idea how to take the broad topic assigned for my final paper (Due in October. But at least I wasn't part of the third of the class who has to turn it in at the end of September!) and condense it down into something I can actually research.

What do you say when you don’t want to attend an invitation because the person invited you to their birthday party purely out of formality? They ignore me except for sending the invitation, hang out with the whole group without me, and I can sense they have an issue with me but don’t want to confront it. Instead, they make the situation worse by posting Instagram stories shading me. Honestly, I just want to cut this person off peacefully because I’ve tried to clear things up before, and they still keep acting shady toward me.

Growing up in a bustling, tight-knit family meant attending an endless stream of family gatherings, ranging from birthdays to numerous holiday celebrations. It was almost considered a cardinal sin if anyone failed to show up.

While I deeply cherish my family and appreciate their support, the sheer number of compulsory family functions can be overwhelming. Even more so, each event comes with the explicit expectation that attendance is non-negotiable.

Now that I'm married with a four-month-old child, I find joy in the festive spirits of my wife’s family gatherings during Christmas and Thanksgiving, as well as the celebrations on my father’s side. There's a lighter, more jovial atmosphere there compared to the stifling ambiance at my mother's family events. My mother's relatives are notably conservative; they adhere strictly to old-fashioned values, including a strict no-alcohol policy during gatherings. This policy once led to a distressing incident where my drinking a single beer at a bowling alley made my aunt burst into tears in front of her teenage children, who were stunned by the uncommon sight.

The holiday events on my mother's side are particularly exhausting. Every aspect, from the overly structured agenda to the prolonged photo sessions, drains the energy out of me. Instead of a casual, relaxing atmosphere, there's a forced attempt to engage everyone in board games and card games. To be honest, playing tedious games with unenthusiastic people isn’t my idea of fun. Moreover, there's an underlying expectation that not only must you attend but you should stay for the entire duration. Last year, we spent five hours there, and still, there were attempts to guilt-trip us into staying longer. Usually, I try to find a plausible excuse to avoid these gatherings, such as scheduling conflicts with my in-laws' holiday plans. Frustratingly, they would then reschedule their event to a date when we are available.

Sometimes, I wrestle with guilt, wondering if I am in the wrong for wanting to avoid these gatherings. Our family is incredibly close, living within a five-mile radius of each other, but I question the necessity of forcing ourselves to attend when it brings us little joy.

In a reality show setting, I wonder how my family's expectations and my resistance would be perceived. Would the audience see my actions as justifiable self-care or as selfish disregard for family traditions? Reality shows tend to dramatize personal conflicts, so it's intriguing to consider how my family dynamics would be portrayed and received by viewers.

Am I wrong for wanting to escape from these oppressive family obligations?

Having navigated a love story that could give any romance novel a run for its money, my husband, Jake, and I have certainly had our ups and downs. We first got together when we were just 12, experienced a breakup a decade later, then spent 17 years apart before rekindling our flame three years ago. Now, we've been happily married for over two years. Jake had a significant relationship during our time apart with an ex-girlfriend, whom I'll refer to as Laura. Their relationship ended amicably about a decade ago, and Laura occasionally touches base to wish him well on milestones and holidays.

Just this past weekend, Jake and I bumped into Laura while out at a local bar. As fate would have it, we ended up sharing a table, indulging in drinks, and engaging in conversations as old acquaintances would. After a few rounds, specifically three Jack and Cokes for me, Laura made a remark that threw me off: "Well at least I'll always be your favorite girlfriend." Without missing a beat, I responded laughingly, "Wouldn't I be his favorite since I’m the one he married?" The atmosphere shifted quickly as her smile faded and she soon exited after finishing her drink.

The follow-up was a long message to Jake from Laura the next day. She expressed her shock at my supposed jealousy and immaturity and suggested I should feel more secure both within our marriage and myself. She highlighted how Jake’s regards for her as his favorite girlfriend were meaningful to her and was bewildered why I had to undermine that.

Jake, ever the peacemaker, apologized on my behalf but reiterated that my comment was simply stating the obvious — I was his chosen partner, highlighted by the fact that we're married. Laura responded again, suggesting that I believed myself superior, based solely on Jake’s change of heart about marriage. After reconnecting with me, he had transformed from a staunch bachelor to a devoted husband remarkably quickly.

Jake reassured her that my intention wasn’t to come across as superior and reaffirmed that my comment was innocuous, requesting that she refrain from speaking ill of me in the future. Despite the unwarranted drama, I had no intention of hurting anyone's feelings. After all, it's normal to consider the person you choose to marry as your favorite, isn't it?

Amidst all this, I can't help but imagine how this incident would unfold if it were part of a reality TV show. The dramatic setting in the bar, the sharp exchange of words followed by a severe text debate, would likely be key scenes, perhaps even accompanied by dramatic music and suspenseful cuts! Viewers might analyze every expression and comment, choosing sides and probably blowing the whole thing out of proportion for entertainment’s sake.

I hope I am clear in my story...