Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

So today was the day before my science exam, and I wasn’t ready at all. I did a mock test and apparently after I got out of shower, my mother didn’t look so glad. She had that look of disgust in her eyes— trouble.

She scolded me for getting 50% on my mock exam, it wasn’t even the real exam anyway :/, and guess what? She told me to die— like what type of parent does that? The exact line was “you’re lucky this is just a mock test, if it was real, then I would’ve killed you already” or smt I can’t really recall it;;

On the other day, she even got the house keys out and like— made me scared if? I forgot the word for it but i guess whoever is reading this gets it :(

I’ve been venting on my bed for the past few years, it started in 2023 when she grabbed my collar for going for a walk, and since then I would frequently write stuff on my bed— it’s double decked;; like in the corner that only shadows exist— hey my address is ********* you wanna see what I wrote? Nah jk… I’m lucky I grew up this bright right…

I work in a hospital, as an Intern..

From half a month working in a certain department.I do every work on time, with discipline and punctuality.But there had been hardly a single day,when some senior of mine,for whom I work smiles at me.All over the duty time,they people seem evergreen irritated.They can't smile at you,they can't be normal looking towards you.Appreciation is never cup of tea of theirs.And yeah more over to that,you are asked to do,such helper works! "Fill my waterbottle," when the RO is just steps away!!! It seema like a maid of theirs, than a job that I am being paid for.... You are being taunted/scolded on every step.... without an option of giving reasons....Why are some people there of some sort?why can't people have humanity!!

The focus of this story isn't to portray myself as the victim; I understand some may disagree with me, and that's perfectly okay—this is Reddit, after all. Here's what has been going on. I’m a 23-year-old woman, and recently my friendship with my best friend Sara, who is 24, has deteriorated. We've known each other for nearly a decade and rarely had disagreements, except for one that led us to not speak for a week. We were incredibly close, texting daily and meeting up two or three times a week.

Lately, however, our interactions have changed. We still text, but our responses are delayed, and we last met on March 20th when we bumped into each other at an outing with another friend. Before that evening, I honestly can't recall the last time we met; it might have been late February or early March. Sara has expressed her concern about our drifting relationship on multiple occasions. I acknowledge that I've been less attentive to maintaining our bond due to my busy schedule.

Each time she has brought up her feelings, I've apologized and tried to improve by texting more frequently and making plans to hang out. Despite my efforts, she feels my presence is forced. This cycle of discussion and attempted resolution has been ongoing since the end of last year. She recently suggested we take a break, feeling genuinely unhappy and not wanting to force happiness. She's also mentioned that despite our conversations about the issue, nothing seems to improve. She wishes for us both to find happiness, whether together or apart.

Admittedly, I've been overwhelmed with work. I'm also saving for a trip and picked up a weekend job, which further limits my free time.

If our story was featured on a reality show, I can only imagine the varied reactions from the audience. Viewers might be split, with some empathizing with our fading friendship due to life’s pressures, while others might criticize me for not putting in enough effort or not prioritizing a significant relationship. It would certainly add an element of public opinion and possibly pressure to resolve things more dramatically.

Am I in the wrong here, or is this a mutual fading of friendship?

A few days ago there was a noticed from a school web site for trip. The condition was that to get prioritezed you needed to have good grades or have a hight level english. I have a really high level english and my grades are ok, lower than last year but still ok. I was thinking of trying It but then i talked with my friend who has even lower grades and she was really negative and started saying that we probably wouldn't get selected bc there were other with higher grades than us that It wasn't even worth trying. In the end only One other girl form my class went and had even lower grades than me but still got selected. So i Just wasted an oppurtinity bc i was insecure when i could've gotten selected and now i feel so stupid.

The worst part Is that It's not even the first time this year ( bc of insecurety and some other mental health issues) and now i feel like such an idiot for wasting oppurtinities like this.

I feel like I've stumbled into an alternate reality with this entire ordeal, so I'm reaching out for some perspective from you, internet dwellers.

Here's the situation: My brother, Jake, and I have always had a rocky relationship. When he was younger, he watched a documentary on the impacts of industrial farming and decided to become a vegetarian. That alone wasn't an issue, but he soon started pushing everyone in the family to adopt his dietary choices which quickly became irritating. Thankfully, our dad intervened before it went too far. Later on, Jake went off to university where he got involved with a new crowd and adopted a strict vegan lifestyle, which seemed to consume his whole identity. Our relationship really hit a low point when he made a huge scene over my choice to have a birthday dinner at a steakhouse, flooding my phone and social media with disturbing images of farm animals.

Our parents tried to mend things, and for a while, it looked like Jake was easing up, so I started to let him back into my circle gradually. Then he began seeing Jenna, a vegan influencer. I'm not too familiar with her work, but she seems to have a following online. Jake's behavior changed again, possibly to impress her. Last Thanksgiving, he demanded that our mom prepare a completely vegetarian meal or he and Jenna wouldn't attend, citing 'ethical reasons.' Wanting to keep the peace on her favorite holiday, my mom agreed, but the celebration was far from enjoyable.

This year, my parents moved to a smaller home for their retirement and my mom has been dealing with some health issues. I purchased their old home, and mom asked me to host Thanksgiving to keep the tradition alive. I announced the plans in our family group chat so Jake and Jenna could arrange their travel plans, but Jenna immediately began proposing various vegan alternatives for our traditional recipes. I agreed to try out a main vegan dish they preferred, but I clarified that I intended to prepare the conventional meal as well, ensuring there would still be plenty of options for them. However, Jake and Jenna protested this decision for days, culminating in Jake threatening to skip Thanksgiving if I included meat dishes. This deeply upset my mom, to the point where she asked me to simply replicate last year's menu. I refused, telling her Jake needed to be more accommodating, but it's causing a rift. My dad is on my side, yet he's concerned about the stress this is causing mom, especially considering her health and that these could be some of our last holidays with her. Now, I'm wondering if I'm prioritizing turkey over my family's harmony.

If this were a reality show, I can only imagine the dramatic music and close-ups as everyone waits for me to respond to Jake's ultimatum. Would the audience side with me or see me as the villain for sticking to tradition?

Am I prioritizing turkey over family?

Due to my best friend aka the person I loved so so so so so much leaving me saying he didn't care and that I was a B I t c h I tried to kms but didn't due to the fear or pain

whywhywhywhy

they hurt me but I don't know if its worth it to hold on to the anger. I don't really need to hate them anymore. so what do I do.

My boyfriend works in management at a private school, and during the holidays the school does a big clean-up. Recently, he brought home bedsheets, pillowcases, blankets, and even the curtains from the nurse’s office so that I could wash them. I don’t mind doing the sheets and bedding, but the curtains are extremely heavy, and on top of our regular house chores and laundry, it feels like a lot to put on me.

When I asked why he didn’t just use the outside service the school mentioned, he said it would cost the school money and that since we have a washing machine and a dryer at home, it made more sense to do it here. I tried explaining that the curtains are heavy and not easy to deal with, and his response was simply, “I bet.” It left me wondering why this task has suddenly become my responsibility in the first place.

Why can't I cry anymore? It's weird, you know? I'm 23, and I remember a time when tears came so easily. Watching a sad movie or hearing someone's heartbreak used to make me tear up like a fountain. But now? Nada. Zero. Zilch. It's like my tear ducts closed up shop and went on permanent vacation. "What's the deal?" I keep asking myself. I mean, letting it all out with a good cry used to feel so liberating. Now, it feels like there's this emotional block keeping everything bottled up. Can anyone else relate to this weird sensation?

It's not like I'm super tough or have had some life-changing epiphany. I'm still the same old me, navigating through the ups and downs of life. So why the emotional drought? 😕 I'm starting to wonder if it's just this weird phase or maybe stress-related. Everyone's always like, "Be tough, be strong," and I guess I've taken it to heart a bit too much. But when I think about it, aren't tears part of what makes us human? Crying shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness; it's a natural response; and I've kind of forgotten that. I remember someone saying that sometimes holding it together means falling apart; I guess maybe there's some truth to that?

It's not like life's a drag or anything, trust me! I still have plenty of good vibes and moments, but without the tears, it's like losing a part of expressing myself. I'm hopeful that this is just a temporary thing. Maybe one day soon, I'll watch a sappy rom-com, and the emotions will flood back, and I'll be ready with a box of tissues, crying my heart out at every plot twist. So, if anyone else has gone through this "tearless" phase, how'd you get your emotional faucet running again? Because seriously, it's about time to let those tears flow again, right?

So, my 37 year old daughter left her husband and my grandchildren last year for a freaking convict! Now, I am all about 2nd chances but he's a loser with a capital l! She was screwing him before she left and now the 2 older grandkids are here with me and my ex, and she spends all her time up north with the prick! Whom I found out treats her like shit! I did not raise her alone to be like this! She thinks she did a good thing by leaving her husband and she's right. He was a dick, just realized it too late. Now my youngest granddaughter is with her dad because my loser daughter doesn't have fucking time for any of her kids! She actually told my oldest granddaughter she was "on her own and she couldn't be bothered by anything in her life" , what a fucking bitch! I fucking hate her and want to disown her, is there anyway legally I can do that? I'm about to freak the fuck out on her, I just haven't yet because my granddaughters asked me not to. But my health is also on the line, already had 1 heart surgery. What do I do?

How do you quit a job that really depends on you?

I've been with this corporate company for over five years. When I started, I really enjoyed it—different team, exciting projects... but things changed. I was moved to a new team last year after I politely mentioned to my previous boss that I wasn’t feeling it anymore. Then, I got shifted again, and now I’m with my current team for the past month and a half. I've honestly never felt worse about work in my life. I absolutely hate what I’m doing now; there’s no interest, no motivation. I feel sick every morning, and my Sundays are just filled with dread. Anxiety and depression have crept in.

The tricky part is that I’m working on a brand-new project, and I’m one of the most experiencd people in this field here, so they’re really counting on me. Like, heavily relying on me. If I left, it would seriously throw a wrench in their plans. But I’ve hit a wall and feel like I can’t do this anymore. Not one more day. They’ve even told me no vacation or sick days are allowed for the next few months due to the workload, and my boss subtly reminded me about the two sick days I already took. That’s when it really hit me—it’s time to go.

But I’d be quitting without another job lined up, and that worries me. Plus, I feel guilty about leaving them in such a tough spot, and I dread how my boss might treat me during the notice period. I really need advice here. 😭

For the past several years, my wife, Anna, and I frequently discussed the possibility of me launching my own venture. I had always assumed that Anna would be part of this venture, almost like a joint entrepreneurial endeavor. However, this scenario changed dramatically when it came down to formalizing documents, where I desperately required her signatures.

Anna made her stance crystal clear, stating vehemently, “I want nothing to do with this business. It is entirely your project.” She expressed her disapproval emphatically, which took me by surprise. Consequently, I had to look for other partners to bring on board because she outright refused to be involved.

Fast forward to today, my business has taken off and is seeing significant success. Now, Anna has begun making plans on how to utilize the profits as equally as if she had been involved from the start. When I gently reminded her that the business finances were solely mine, as the accounts were in my name only and she had expressed disinterest at the beginning, she was notably upset.

Things escalated when she discovered that I had modified my will. I've decided that my share of the business and the related accounts should go to my business partners, should anything unfortunate happen to me. Anna was furious upon learning this because it meant that all she might inherit would be our prior joint assets and her own earnings, completely excluding my business assets. I reiterated her previous statements to emphasize why I made such decisions, but it only angered her more.

Although I sympathize with the challenging position this might leave Anna in if I were to pass away prematurely, I struggle with feelings of unfairness on my part. The reality that she opted out from day one, and the business success was achieved without her involvement creates a complex emotional and moral scenario. Nonetheless, am I being unreasonable here?

Imagine this situation unraveling on a reality TV show, where every nuanced emotion and financial disagreement is magnified under the public eye. The viewers would likely be split. Some might argue that marriage is a partnership, regardless of individual contributions to projects, while others might strongly side with the private arrangement and agreements made between spouses. The drama, the clear communication mishaps, and the handling of financial success would all make for compelling television, drawing in audiences eager to see how such a personal conflict is navigated in the spotlight.

I've been in a constant state of fight or flight, honestly I've been in crisis, since the election. I'm disabled, trans and intersex, other flavors of 'undesirable' in the eyes of the government. I was close to taking my life and writing hotlines pretty much everyday sobbing my eyes out. My psychiatrist said if I refused to be hospitalized (I did) then we were down to Spravato and Electroconvulsive Therapy... Yes, she basically said the only solution was nasal spray ketamine or electroshock. I wish I was joking. I'm allergic to so much that these three things were my only option left. Are my only option, but I'm just done. No. I refuse it all.

There's a decent chance ALL healthcare might be taken away from me soon anyhow.

I decided to give Spravato a try, I was really, really hoping it would work. It didn't. My blood pressure shot up so high I almost had to go to the ER, I couldn't stop panicking and crying, I almost threw up multiple times. I am familiar with dissociation, it's a horrendous feeling I get sadly often, but I can tell the... Cycle of it? I suppose? As in, even when dissociating or having derealization, I can tell when it's at it's worst and when it's staring to wane. With Spravato, not so, it was two hours of being at the worst part of all my dissociative episodes and panic attacks at once with no reprieve. Closing my eyes made it worse, I couldn't even try to sleep to get through it, I had so many nurses coming in and out. A random man who was there also getting Spravato himself came in and tried to talk me and my mother through it and reassure us that sometimes that that even still happened to him. I can remember the talking, but it's more like I'm looking back on a movie I watched, not something I witnessed. All that felt like it was me in that moment was the fear. Nausea. My heart wanting to break through my ribcage, the pain of each heartbeat, rattling in my brain of memories and thoughts both that I couldn't differentiate among other things. It was just too much.

Finally, finally after two hours it started to let up, they took my blood pressure and since it wasn't at a concerning level (it was not normal still but not medically concerning? I think?) I was allowed to come home. I almost threw up multiple times on the ride home.

I was essentially sedated for three or four days after, too tired to tell what I was feeling but knowing I wasn't happy or okay, just too tired to cry or panic anymore. My heart kept beating funny off and on, though, I kept getting chest pain off and on. It's still happening off and on and it's been a few weeks. I'm scared it permanently damaged my heart, I already have so much going on, I can't do it.

All therapeutic effects it had are gone, all the fear and grief and dread and pain are back in full force, my family is trying to convince me to try it again and I refuse. My mother told me, essentially, she liked me better sedated. My pain, my fear for my life under this regime in America with so much being taken away from me (after being attacked just getting groceries two weeks after the election by the way), is an inconvenience so I need to just "be normal."

I can't help but wonder if there's hidden meaning behind "be normal." I could get into the why, I could get into my whole life story leading up to this of medical malpractice, but I won't. It's too much. There's so much I need and want to say but what's even the point?

I suppose I'll end this with something that happened a few days ago that's still hurting me, that was my reason to coming to this site again. I still don't really know how it works, if you can see my other post, but it's pertinent to this if you can. I tried one more time, one more time to reach out to someone to help me, give me help feasible for me with all of my limitations. Admittedly, getting a bit angry, because all the "advice" given even when I explained my situation was things I couldn't do. I tried explaining again, and it was turned back on me. I'm apparently a fascist for saying poor, disabled, non-white and intersex people are being left out of people's consideration when giving queer (especially trans) Americans help or instructions to help themselves. I was apparently posting "fascist bait" and somehow I'm also a Nazi? I don't even know. All I said was that I needed help, I just needed some steps given to me to take to try and get myself safe, to a better place. Then, got frustrated, and said their advice wasn't even advice for me or many others in my situation. It felt like dismissal and a "welp not my problem- figure it out!" and I said so. I said that people need to stop leaving the most vulnerable of the lgbtqia2p community in the dust and this girl got four other people to gang up on me.

I give up. I deleted all social media, I feel hopeless but won't write Trevor or 988, no one wants to help me. No one who can will, because I'm "not valuable" enough. Not to another country, not even to a blue state, nothing at all. I need too much help, have too many targets on my back, and have the nerve to point out that people are pulling the ladder up behind them once they get theirs and seeing certain parts of the community in the dust. Even some trans people are, mainly those of us that are poor and or disabled, intersex and or non-white. Of which I am all of.

And now I sit here alone, sad, thinking about everything and wishing I could close my eyes and wake up anybody else tomorrow. Wake up and find out this was all just a bad dream.

No, I'm not going to do anything to myself, I'm just so tired. If you can see people's past posts on here, again, what I said before sort of gives more context but even with both these two posts it's not everything going on with me.

Goodnight, I guess.

i wanna start this by saying i don't do drugs or anything, never even smoked a cigarrete or drinked like heavy you know, so this not about that lol 😂 but still… why do i feel high when i’m not?? like my head sometimes go so foggy, and lights feel brighter and sounds feel louder and everything be moving slow?? it happen in school mostly or when i walk outside and there’s like too much stuff going on. like today we was in math and miss started talking 'bout logarithms and ratios and boom i couldn’t even look at the board. my brain was like floating??? 😵 i blinked a lot and rub my eyes but that don’t help nothing. is this what derealization is or something? like, i don’t know if it’s that cause i ain’t got no trauma or nothing major like that. i’m just a normal dude with too much thoughts maybe. like i be overthinking all the time, even when nothing’s wrong. could that be it? could overthinking make your brain feel fried like that? sometimes i just feel like i’m watching my life, like watching a movie, not really living it. it’s weird. it’s not scary all the time but sometimes it is... when i can’t snap out of it and my heart start racing and i feel like the room’s spinning. but i’m sitting down!! 😭 and my friends think i’m zoning out or daydreaming or something but nah it’s not that easy to explain. it’s like i’m there but not really there. hard to write it out but that’s the best i got;

i was in the bus the other day and the sun was hitting just right through the window and my music was loud in my headphones and everything felt unreal. like i was on something for real. i looked at people walking and it was like they was in slow motion or something. i even smiled for no reason, like i was calm but confused. and then later when i got home i had a headache and had to sleep for two hours just to feel normal again. 😴 it’s starting to happen more often now. last year it happened like once every two weeks, now it’s like every other day. and it’s not just the floaty feeling… my legs get heavy, my speech feel weird, like i talk too slow or too fast. i asked my mom if i could be low in sugar or like have some blood pressure thing and she said maybe it’s just “mental fatigue” 😐 what even is that bro. teachers say i’m smart, i get good grades, i pay attention, but my body feels like it’s on airplane mode half the time. and when it hit me during gym class?? bro. i swear i almost tripped running laps, like my body didn’t wanna listen to my brain anymore. this not anxiety i think, cause i’m not scared, i’m just… disconnected? like unplugged from the world or something. and i don’t even be on my phone that much!! i do sports, i got friends, i eat ok i guess. so why this happen? is this what burnout feels like? even at 17??

some people would probly say it’s stress or hormones or like growing pains in the brain but idk man, it don’t feel normal. like it feel medical maybe. but when i told the nurse at school she said to drink more water 💧 and i do, i swear. it’s not about that. something inside just don’t line up sometimes. my brain be like too aware and not aware at the same time. and it don’t help that when i try explain it people just laugh like “oh you’re just baked bro” but i’m not! that’s the whole point!! i don’t even know what high feels like really but this ain’t right. i just wanna know what’s going on, why this keep happening and if it’s dangerous or just annoying. cause sometimes i feel like maybe i just got a brain that glitches and this how it show. like software lag or when wifi goes weird. is that even possible in a human brain?? if you feel like that too let me know cause i feel like the only one sometimes 😞 it’s not ruining my life or anything but it’s bugging me, and i want answers, not jokes or “you need to sleep more” stuff. what if it gets worse? what if one day i can’t come back from it? anyway thanks for reading if you got this far, i just had to get it off my chest... maybe that’ll help a bit. maybe not.

In my family, ever since my father was young, we've maintained the tradition of holding more formal monthly family dinners. As children, my siblings and I always looked forward to these gatherings, which included our grandparents. When we all grew up, the tradition evolved to involve our spouses and our children, making it a grander and more inclusive affair. By the time I was 19, our family decided to rotate the hosting duties among us each month to share the responsibility more equally.

My wife initially was enthusiastic about joining these dinners. She even took over the cooking duties from me sometime after we started dating because she was keen to contribute. Initially, my family seemed to get along well with her, but I soon noticed a troubling pattern. They were overly critical of her cooking, despite her efforts to please everyone - a sentiment not shared by my two younger siblings. I tried to stand up for her, suggesting they be more appreciative, but their retort was always that she needed to improve her culinary skills. Despite her efforts to make dishes that everyone typically liked, nothing seemed to satisfy them.

A couple of months ago, I concocted a plan to expose their bias. I suggested to my wife that we pretend I was the one who had cooked the meal, just to see their reaction. She reluctantly agreed, suspecting that their issues were more personal than about her cooking skills. As predicted, when they thought I was behind the dishes, they showered praises on the food, noting how refreshing it was to enjoy such well-prepared dishes. My younger siblings knew the truth and found it interesting to watch the scenario unfold. However, when it was revealed that it was actually my wife who had cooked, my family tried awkwardly to retract their compliments, leading to an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the evening. This incident opened my wife’s eyes to the real situation, and I affirmed that her well-being was more important than these family dinners. We agreed to sometimes have meals just with my younger siblings, which was less stressful overall.

After we missed the last two dinners, questions arose from my parents and other siblings. Despite my explanations, they couldn't understand our absence and insisted on our presence. They accused me of overreacting and harming my relationships within the family. They even brought up potential future children, suggesting they would miss out on family traditions. My wife felt guilty about the situation, but I reassured her that it was not her fault.

Am I wrong for prioritizing my wife's dignity over family tradition? How might this situation have played out if it were part of a reality show? Perhaps cameras capturing every reaction and confession might have amplified the drama, leading to a public outcry against my family’s bias or maybe sparking a nationwide discussion on family dynamics and the power struggles within.