Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

so, there’s this thing i’ve been doing lately and it’s probably the dumbest thing you’ll hear all day, but it works for me during those totally unpredictable, chaotic moments where i feel like the entire universe is flipping me the bird and my anxiety’s about to skyrocket into orbit; i’ve been forcing myself to just breathe, like literally standing there in the middle of whatever’s going down, inhaling so deep that it feels like i’m about to burst, then slowly letting it out like i’m some kind of zen master or whatever, and yeah it sounds super corny but focusing on your breath actually forces your mind to stop freaking out for just long enough to not lose it; i also try to write things down, and i don’t mean a fancy bullet journal or some crap you see on pinterest, i mean i grab the nearest scrap of paper, napkin, whatever, and i start scribbling every chaotic thought or worry or even a stupid doodle if i can’t find words, because there’s something about seeing it all outside of your brain that makes it less intimidating and gives you a bit of a laugh at how ridiculous some of it sounds; and then there’s my go-to move, which is just dropping everything and going for a walk, no matter the weather, and yeah, sometimes it’s pouring rain or freezing, but the sheer act of putting one foot in front of the other, feeling the ground beneath me and just noticing the tiny details around like the color of the sky or the way the air smells helps me anchor myself to reality; oh and don’t even get me started on music, because blasting your favorite playlist, the one that makes you feel like a badass, can literally change your entire mood and shift your perspective from ‘everything sucks’ to ‘okay, maybe i can handle this for a bit longer’; and if i’m really in deep, like spiraling kind of deep, i force myself to reach out to someone, whether it’s a friend who’ll let me vent without judgment or even just sending a quick “hey i’m struggling today” text, because as much as i hate to admit it, sometimes you just need to hear another human voice reminding you that you’re not as alone as your mind is making you feel; i also sometimes dive into something completely unrelated, like rewatching my favorite dumb tv show, because giving your brain a break from obsessing over uncertainty can be surprisingly powerful, and it’s not avoidance, it’s just giving yourself permission to rest and not be ‘on’ all the time; also, weirdly enough, i’ve found that setting the tiniest goals helps, like literally telling myself “just get through the next ten minutes” or “just clean one corner of the room” because ticking off even the smallest task gives you a tiny hit of accomplishment and sometimes that’s enough to keep going; but maybe the most important thing i’ve learned is to stop trying to predict or control everything because let’s be honest, none of us really know what’s coming next and pretending we do just exhausts us, so i’ve been trying to lean into the discomfort and tell myself “you’ve survived worse, you’ll survive this too” and weirdly enough, it helps to remember that i’m not the only one trying to navigate this crazy unpredictable life.

So unfortunately, I am hypersexual due to trauma, but acesexual. and "makeup sex" is an unfortunate and unconscious reaction to stress caused by my relationship because of a past relationship. I feel like recently my boyfriend has been purposely triggering my stress response to get.. yuknow. And not only am I kinda grossed out by the thought he could be doing it on purpose. I'm scared by it.

How are you today? Did you think about me today or no? 5 days ago I received a reply to the anon post I posted few 2 years back.wtf. what is happening and I just read about it yesterday. What are you doing? Tell me? What do u want? You just keep on replying to my post that I idid years before but you never message me wth

So like, my ex has been acting weird lately and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or if he’s lowkey trying to come back. We broke up three months ago, wasn’t even that messy but we both kinda agreed it wasn’t working. But now he’s liking my posts again, watching all my stories the second I post them, and even replied “lol” to one like bro what’s funny? He NEVER used to watch my stories before unless I made him. And suddenly he cares now? Idk if it’s guilt or he’s being nosy or if he actually misses me. One of my friends said he asked if I’m seeing anyone now and I’m like—why the hell would he care? We not together anymore, you don’t get to ask those questions.

Then this one time, I was walking by his group at school and he literally went silent, stared, and did that half-smile like he didn’t know if he should say hi. Didn’t say shit though. I’m not saying he’s obsessed or anything but if you don’t want to talk, then don’t stare. Just turn around or keep walking. Like stop being a coward. Another day, he texted me “hey” out of nowhere at midnight. I didn’t reply. What was I supposed to say? Hey back and pretend like nothing happened? He dumped me because he said he “needed space” and now he’s crawling back with one dumb word? Get the f*ck outta here with that. Boys are so confusing, they want you until they have you, then when they don’t, they suddenly remember how good they had it.

I swear, it’s giving “I miss you but I’m too scared to say it.” But then again, I could just be imagining all this and he’s just bored or playing around. Maybe he wants attention, maybe he regrets stuff, maybe he just likes messing with my head. I don’t even know what I’d do if he said he wanted to get back together. Part of me would wanna slap him and the other part would probably melt; and yeah I know that sounds pathetic but whatever. At the end of the day I’m human. Do I still have feelings for him? Not really, but also maybe a little bit. Sometimes I do miss the way things were when it was good. Not the drama though. Never that again.

Anyway, what do y’all think? Are those signs or am I just being dumb? Would you say anything if your ex started acting like that? I feel like I’m going crazy trying to figure him out. Should I just ignore it and move on or call him out and be like “wtf do you want?” I don’t need games, I just want peace. If he’s trying to get back together, he needs to say it with his chest. I’m not gonna sit here and guess feelings like I’m on some reality TV show. I just hate this limbo sh*t. Tell me what’s up or go away. Simple.

TW: talk of suicide and sh

I have felt suicidal since I was 7 years old, im now nearly 15 and am just done, ppl keep telling me to kms and its getting to my head .

Hi, call me sumaya. i have been struggling with my mh since year7, my teachers dont listen to me and i feel like that no one likes me and there is no point to life, i have been cutting and cutting and i js feel like doing it even if im 1month clean. i js hate my life and i always get bullied and teachers always think i "i kick off" well no, i am at my breaking point and all of the teachers dont like me and i js hate me, my timeout pass got taken away and all my support is going down the drain. and my wellebing is all scenes when it isnt. if its other ppl they mollycoddle them and i js wanna be loved and have friends and leave that skl.. i wanna be alone./ i have no friends and no one likes me. i am a nobody.

Every morning, there’s an elderly lady who strolls past our home with her two young grandkids. Our yard, which is filled with plants and flowers including some lovely lavender, doesn’t have a fence separating it from the sidewalk. Time and again, I've noticed the grandmother not only picking the lavender herself but also encouraging her grandchildren to do the same.

Today, I finally reached my limit. Wanting to address this issue once and for all, I stepped outside and spoke calmly, “Excuse me, could you please not pull out the lavender? It’s part of our garden.”

Her response took me aback. “Are you serious? It doesn’t hurt the plant,” she retorted.

Trying to remain composed, I answered, "I understand that, but it’s a matter of respect since this is our property.”

She scoffed and then delivered a bit of unsolicited advice: “Well, if you had pruned it last year, it would have flourished better. You didn’t, and it shows.” With that, she flashed a smug grin and continued on her way.

I was left somewhat speechless by her boldness and quickly retreated indoors. My social anxiety doesn’t handle confrontation well, and I regretted not saying more. It frustrates me immensely that she assumes it’s okay to do what she did. She might be correct in thinking that picking some lavender won’t damage the plant, but it’s about the principle of the matter. Her rude commentary on our gardening skills just adds salt to the wound. I find myself so agitated that I’m pacing around, unable to concentrate on my work.

If this scenario played out on a reality TV show, I can only imagine the drama that would ensue. In such a setting, a more confrontational and explosive reaction might be expected for entertainment's sake. Perhaps the hosts would chime in with their opinion, or other participants would take sides, escalating the situation further. The incident might even be replayed in slow motion with dramatic music to heighten the tension for viewers at home.

When you're used to watching dramatic encounters on television, real-life confrontations can feel somewhat underwhelming or leave you thinking about how they could have been handled differently.

Now, I wonder, if this were a reality show, what would the audience think about my response? Did I handle it too passively, or was it the right approach to a delicate situation?

Living together with my fiancée and her young daughter has its sweet moments, but mealtime has started to become a bit of a battleground recently. As the primary cook in our household, I've always taken the lead on planning and preparing our meals. While I make sure to accommodate their taste preferences, my suggestions have been increasingly met with complaints like, “no, I don’t like that,” or “can we have something else instead?”

Just this evening, pleading for the chance to whip up a simple dish of pasta with homemade tomato sauce felt more challenging than it should.

Earlier today, while we were grocery shopping, I stumbled upon an item I hadn’t enjoyed for over a year. Excited, I pointed it out, only to be met with disdain from my fiancée and a rather unpleasant comment from my stepdaughter, likening the appearance of the food to diarrhea. This remark not only dampened my spirits but also left me feeling rather hurt.

Frustrated, I declared over dinner that they would need to take on the meal planning themselves moving forward. I mentioned that from now on, I could just prepare meals for myself if that would simplify things.

Suppose my ordeal was featured on a reality show. In that scenario, I can only imagine the varied reactions of the audience. Some might empathize with my frustration over the lack of appreciation for my cooking efforts, while others could argue that I overreacted by deciding to step back from cooking for the family. It would certainly spark a lively debate among viewers, each siding differently based on their personal views on family dynamics and responsibilities.

How do you see my reaction in the situation? Was I right?

“i feel like crying, i don’t feel like myself / this isn’t like me at all” — TWICE, TT

2026 was supposed to be my person year. a year where i’m putting myself first, to do things i love without judgement, u know how it goes. but it’s been january and i feel like i wanna unalive.

the anti-ai bullying is getting worse each day. i mentioned previously that it’s hard to be a synthographer bc ur most likely to get an “ai slop trash” comment than a praise. they’ll trash u, fuck u up, until u snap. i guess that’s what’s happening to me lately. it’s getting problematic for me and everyone i know.

i thought that art is meant for everyone, but why does everyone think that we’re stealing images with actual creativity that gets run thru the machine? why does everyone think i’m a fraud; that i’m not fit to be part of multimedia arts course? why does everyone accuse someone of using chatgpt just by using an em dash? this greater internet fuckwad theory is getting too much man. putangina.

and hey, don’t get me started on anti’s antics. the witch hunts, the accusations, the constant bashing, even memes. don’t forget nightshade and throw in that NO-AI.gif too. “we got demons in the comments section,” says oliver tree in one song, and i think there is on every comments section.

i know that society expects u to get ur shit together, but rn i feel like i’m falling apart. i’m confused, overwhelmed, overstimmed. for fuck’s sake, i’m already losing interest in synthography bc of school. there, does that make u happy? are u happy that i can’t generate anymore bc i don’t have wifi? are u happy that u won from constant bullying? are u happy that u flip off an ai billboard or write anti-ai graffiti on a subway ad? be fucking honest, ARE U HAPPY?

i’m so tired of this bullshit. there are times where i wanted to look for some inspiration, but i end up doomscrolling instead. fuck all of this man. i can’t take it anymore. once again, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

So my ex and I broke up recently. It was his decision, and I thought it was amicable enough - I had hopes he didn't feel he could meet, and he felt overwhelmed by how much I can be sometimes (I do not dispute this, I'm A Lot.), and so while it hurt because I really thought we were getting through the rough patch, it was the right move to just be friends.

The thing is, he's not really acting like a friend now, and the way it's going I'm not entirely sure that's even truthfully what he wants.

He's always been kind of rude - he's socially awkward by his very nature and not at all an emotional guy - I'm very used to him being somewhat ignorant of the feelings of others, that's normal. He's not diagnosed autistic but most people he comes into contact with have their suspicions on him being on the spectrum. (This is not a bad thing or a sweeping armchair diagnosis, our whole friendgroup is autistic so it would not be a surprise and would of course be an explanation for his overall demeanor, but not an excuse for the behaviour that follows.)

Now though, it's not just 'socially awkward guy can be misconstrued as ruder than he intends to be', it's targeted. and usually targeted at me.

I tried to brush it off as me just being oversensitive in the aftermath of the breakup, because I know I can be hysterical and overdramatic, but it's become obvious in the week or so that it goes on that I'm not imagining it - he's being downright mean. And I never thought he was mean.

So I tried reaching out to him about it - I thought maybe he was being so odd because it was hurting him too and he wanted to talk about it, or he wanted to avoid giving me false hope by being deliberately meaner than usual for a bit, or maybe he was just enjoying the freedom from a relationship that he seems to think was controlling. All of the above would have been fine and I would have, to an extent, understood if any of those were his reasoning, but he denied acting out of character at all - told me that he'd be saying everything he's said for the past week with or without the circumstances.

I don't think that's true, because a lot of it seemed to come out of nowhere with no prompting from any outside source (so not a badly landed punchline to something else) and he's famously stoic and private to the point of paranoia, but I accepted it - it isn't my place to push him on that, if he says he's fine and he thinks it's normal then whatever, I suppose it must be for him.

Reaching out seemed to make it worse - today he decided to go vaguepost in a shared server about how people who talk about having a certain opinion are annoying - down to my exact wording of said opinion. This would not be so damning, if there were others in his group/life that had the same opinion. As it stands, it's only me, and everybody in our group knows that. So really, he's just publicly calling me annoying for no real reason, somewhere he knows I will see it.

I know I said he can be ignorant of the feelings of others, but I refuse to believe that as an incredibly smart grown man, it hasn't registered to him that if you insult someone, it's going to hurt their feelings. There is a huge difference between "being unable to read the room and making people uncomfortable by mistake" and "being unaware that knowingly insulting a friend is bad".

I've tried to be civil about it all.

I didn't blow up at him for breaking up with me knowing I was at work at the time, because I asked first and said I wouldn't break down, so that's on me.

I haven't gone and blamed him for the part where I got so upset and stressed about it all that I got physically sick, because it's not like he wanted that to happen to me either.

I wanted to comfort my friend if he was struggling, and I didn't want to make it a big deal that we broke up, and I didn't want to really bring it up at all, because I know he's bad with emotional stuff and I figured he'd like to just move right along, which was fine by me if it helped him.

It just feels like I've sacrificed and sacrificed and sacrificed to try and not blow up our lives over this, and I've denied myself the chance to actually grieve because it would inconvenience him, and all he can think to do is just...rub salt in the wound wherever possible and assume the worst of me at every turn.

And nobody else seems to notice beyond 'feeling like they missed something' how mean he's been lately, except for my one friend who has never really liked him all that much in the first place.

And that makes me wonder if this is actually new, or if this is just the rose glasses breaking - was he just always this awful, and I never saw it because I loved him?? Has anyone else had this sort of jekyll-hyde turn happen?

In our early thirties, with a solid seven years of marriage behind us, my life took an unexpected and tragic turn when my husband George suddenly passed away a few months back. Coping with his death has been the most challenging period of my life. In those first numbing weeks, I could barely function. Thankfully, George’s mother was right there to support. She took care of all funeral costs, a gesture for which I was immensely grateful, considering I was in no state to manage anything.

Only recently, I recalled that George had a modest life insurance policy set up through my workplace. I had completely forgotten about it amidst all the grief. After processing the claim, the payout wasn't vast, but it was sufficient to cover my moving expenses back to my hometown and perhaps even a down payment on a small house where I could start anew.

However, the atmosphere changed once my mother-in-law discovered I received this insurance money. She became very upset and demanded that I reimburse her for the funeral expenses, accusing me of taking advantage of her son's death. Her words were not only harsh but deeply wounding; she went as far as to label me as selfish and suggested I was profiting from our loss. At that time, I wasn’t even aware of the insurance policy. Now, as I struggle with my grief, her accusations of me being heartless only increase my pain.

I understand she is grieving too, but attacking me doesn't seem fair. I am merely trying to find a way to heal and begin life anew, something I believe is essential. Given all this, wouldn't paying her back seem like I’m just trying to appease her anger? Right now, I'm at my limit and need to focus on rebuilding my own life.

What if this whole ordeal was under the relentless scrutiny of a reality show? Considering how they thrive on conflict and emotional outpourings, the portrayal of our disagreements could potentially paint me in a terrible light or, conversely, rally support for someone trying to heal from such a substantial personal loss. The public's reaction could vary drastically—some might sympathize with my situation, while others might side with my mother-in-law, viewing my actions through a lens skewed by dramatic narratives.

I’m expectant, albeit somewhat anxious, about the reactions and perhaps criticism that might come my way from sharing this.

I wonder, if I refuse to pay her back, am I being unreasonable?

well, here i am, 39 years old, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering why the heck i just can't seem to muster the energy to get out of bed. the relentless demands of family life have started to weigh me down, and the worst part is, it feels like no one notices. my three children, as much as i love them to pieces, are like tiny CEOs of their own chaotic corporations. breakfast, school drop-offs, extracurricular activities, homework, the list is endless. and my husband? 🤨 let's just say he's not exactly earning the father-of-the-year trophy. he's more of a silent partner in this venture, contributing minimally while i manage the lion’s share.

every day is a revolving door of tasks dictated by invisible time cards that pull me in every direction but towards what i need—rest. i’ve become the go-to project manager of our household, handling everything from grocery shopping and cooking, to emergency conflict resolution between a seven-year-old and a ten-year-old over whose turn it is to sit in the prized front seat. even our toddler has demands that rival a ceo’s morning agenda. however, as the perpetual first responder, my wake-up call is earlier than a rooster's crow; pre-dawn prep, lunches to pack, and laundry that's folded to military precision.

the reality is, i’m exhausted but i can't complain; it feels like my pleas fall on deaf ears. do you ever feel like your voice is a whisper in a room of shouting voices? family dynamics are complicated puzzles, aren’t they? society tells us that juggling motherhood, marriage, and a personal career is doable if we just try hard enough. but trust me, it's like trying to align misfit puzzle pieces. yet each morning, there remains the faint, stubborn hope that today will be the day my husband is better attuned or that the kids will navigate their own battles without conscription of 'mom' as their referee.

i find solace in quotes from Virginia Woolf, "Arrange whatever pieces come your way," even when those pieces have clearly lost their way. it brings me a level of optimism; there's hope in reflection and redirection, and perhaps that's where the solution lies. self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. maybe it's time to reorganize the department of 'me' and delegate some tasks or even demand a little assistance in this familial startup. am i seeking too much? maybe. or perhaps it all starts by simply getting out of bed—one foot at a time, one step closer to balance.

wtf am I doing here...

Where do I start?

There are a lot of people that say they "have no one". I have no one. The only person I ever talk to is my alcoholic ex-spouse.

No friends.

No coworkers.

Nothing.

I had some legal issues that started a few years back. The drama around that (with the fans flamed by the ex - we were still 'together' at the time) caused anyone that I hung out with to fully cut me off.

I ended up spending a bit of time on a grippy sock vacation in the psych ward.

No one called.

No one reached out.

Nothing.

Crickets.

I spent the last 2 or so years still living with the ex, still trying to deal with their issues, burying mine, with no support.

I spent my entire life supporting everyone else - parents (even as a child), spouse, volunteering, etc.

I spent my entire adult life trying to better myself. I wanted to be able to provide better than my parents were able to. I achieved that. I was the first in my family, even extended family, to graduate college. Then a master's degree. Then nearly 20 years at the same organization, working my way up through to a trusted mid-level manager with a six figure salary.

Fast-forward.

The legal issue came to a head. I made a big mistake. Once.

I've heard that we shouldn't be defined by our biggest mistake. We can't ignore the good. We can't label someone based solely on one point in time, one event, one moment...good or bad. Seems like people like to say that to make themselves feel good. They don't apply it to others.

Maybe, someone does.

But I cannot find or even try to find that someone.

Due to the legal situation, I lost my job, I'm struggling to find one.

I have about 4-5 months that I'll be able to still financially support myself.

I have so many restrictions.

Places I can't go.

Things I can't do.

I can't go to places where adults usually gather (because they serve alcohol). I can't go to places that don't serve alcohol because there are kids present.

I have nothing.

I have no way to find support.

I just exist.

That's it. Existence. Nothing more.

It's a real story from a few years ago. About my dog Dakota.

I went to the animal shelter with my mom. We were going there cause I asked to see the cats. I had a cat at the time name Crystal. I think I was around 10 during this time.

As I was looking at all the fresh faces of the cute kitties.

There was this crate in the lobby.

Poor little guy was brought back by their owner due to the owners mom having cancer or something. Which I could totally relate to in the future.

But back to the story.

My mom was near the crate. She peered inside. Then boop! A small nose popped outta the tiny mountain of blankets. Then the rest of the snout, then Dakota's large, brown, cute eyes found my mom's. He then popped his whole head outta the blankets. He has one ear up and one ear flopped down. He had a white diamond shaped fur patch on his forehead. Sorta like the pretty jewel things that Indian cultured people wear. But this fur patch was just part of his pattern.

He was so cute and tiny. A Chihuahua mix. I think he was round 6 months old. But tiny.

My mom instantly bonded with the little guy!

All this happened while I was looking at the cats.

When it was time to leave... As I was skipping down the steps. My mom stopped. She looked at me. I stopped. I looked at her. And she said, "do you wanna get a dog?" I thought she was joking. So I sorta laughed it off. Cause my mom wasn't known to be spontaneous. At least not that I knew of.

When I realized that she was serious... I jumped for joy, bounded up the stairs. We got the little tot. And the rest was history.

Until 5 years later...

Dakota was know to use his nose a lot. Smelled anything, anyone, and any-any, until he smelled the wrong thing.

A pile of fungus.

It went to his brain. He couldn't walk. Couldn't eat. Wouldn't hold his fluids.

So, we had to put him down. Actually... My mom had to at the Vets. I couldn't be in the room due to the stress.

Over the years, my mom and I always said, "it was his nose that brought him to us, and it was his nose that took him away".

So, be careful with your pets out there. And watch out for fungus. They're not good for the brain!!

Hey, so I just wanted to share some bad experiences with stress with school and relationships, so I have trust issues but I feel like no body know that because they always tell me to trust them, then also school full on stresses me out because we get a bunch of work piled on to everything we have to do and then by the end of the day I just feel very drained and feel like I can't do anything but then my parents get upset at me for having a messy room, but I don't have any motivation to do anything at the moment because I'm constantly being told to be 100% honest with everyone but I can't do that because they'll just tell everything to someone else and I just don't know what to do now.