Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I recently purchased a semi-detached home and it's turning out to be a massive project. Everything needs an overhaul, right down to the framework.

My neighbors keep to themselves; there’s a father and a daughter who has special needs, and there are mumblings of a son and a mother, though I've never laid eyes on her.

We've just begun remodeling the bathroom, which unfortunately adjoins the daughter's bedroom.

This bathroom is a disaster - we have to demolish and replace everything, including the plumbing and light fixtures. It’s a huge job.

We began demolition four days ago, and immediately, the noise triggered the daughter’s loud, piercing screams. Despite the clamor of our equipment and our own ear protection, her distress was unmistakable.

The next day, her father came over, rather upset, explaining that his daughter is autistic and particularly sensitive to disturbances. He mentioned that our drilling had shaken loose some of her possessions, causing breakage. I apologized, and he walked away somewhat relieved.

However, that evening he returned, furious after work, and berated me and my brother Jake, who’s helping me out with the renovations. He shouted about our lack of consideration and stormed off.

Yesterday, he appeared again, visibly angry, accusing us of being ruthless for continuing the work despite his daughter’s evident turmoil. I saw his daughter looking quite shaken, which made me feel sorry, but I explained we needed to press on with the work.

Today, he demanded we halt our noisy work as his daughter was struggling to recover from her ongoing distress. He looked completely worn out.

I apologized once more but told him that it's his responsibility as a father to manage his daughter’s reactions, and that our renovation schedule couldn't accommodate their situation indefinitely.

He left angrily, and since then, my pregnant wife has been ignoring me, labeling me insensitive and harsh. She insists that if it were our child, we’d expect understanding from others.

I acknowledge the father’s frustration, but my brother and I need to finish this job promptly, and it's just not feasible to stop now.

My wife is still upset, and I’m now sleeping on the sofa. The neighbors are clearly unhappy with us too.

Suppose I was on a reality TV show with cameras capturing these confrontations and my family's reactions. Audiences would probably be split. Some might sympathize with the need to progress work on the house, while others could view me as the villain for not being more accommodating towards a child with special needs.

Am I the bad guy here?

I'm wondering, if you were to put this situation to a public vote, what would people say?

At 37 years old and working in a corporate environment that often feels more stifling than inspiring, I find solace in the wisdom of Yoda. His iconic quote, “Do or do not, there is no try,” resonates deeply with me whenever I am faced with challenges at work. Recently, I encountered a critical project that required immediate attention. The stakes were high, my team was dependent on my leadership, and the deadline loomed like a dark cloud overhead. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I can let them down.” In that moment, I channeled my inner Jedi. Instead of contemplating failure or even the possibility of trying, I took actionable steps to ensure success. The pressure to deliver not only awakened my focus but also compelled me to adopt a proactive approach. The result? We met our deadline, exceeded expectations, and united as a stronger team.

However, I wonder if others can relate. Have you ever felt that driving need to "just do it" in your own work life, or do you find yourself contemplating the notion of 'trying' instead? There are days when the motivational pep talks feel redundant; you either deliver or you don’t! I recall a coworker who consistently operated in the realm of “trying.” His endless discussions about the effort he’d put in without yielding the desired results drove me to frustration. “Why not commit fully or step aside?” I found myself asking countless times. In a sense, his indecision mirrored that common phrase about not wanting to ruffle feathers in the workplace. We all are guilty of that to some extent; however, embracing a mindset that revolves around total commitment can bring about transformative changes. It is essential to take the leap without second-guessing ourselves, right? Failure can be an excellent teacher! So, I urge everyone – especially those feeling stuck – to ask themselves: What if instead of trying, we simply committed to doing?;

its like no one understands me or my struggles. sounds like im a pick me but its true. ive got no one to talk to, to trust. everyone would tell the nearest asshole about how "emo" i am for my struggles. my country does not take self harm well. youd get called out in your schools hallways or get called emo constantly. most adult tell you youre seeking attention and ignore your struggles. i constantly self harm. it calms me down seeing the blood drip from my arms. i have always loved blood, i dont know why. ive always intentionally made myself bleed to drink it. or just to look at it. maybe its cause my experience with hostpitals from a young age. my sister got terminally sick when i was 5. i was in and out of school to visit her. she went to hostpitals all over the country. my family once forgot me in a hostpital. but ive been there so much that i practically knew my way around. nurses were always sweet and kind. always had a look of pity because of my sister. they knew she would never make it. maybe people would understand a litle if they knew my whole story. but no one ever looks at the big picture. they just look at the ugly parts AND THEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO JUDGE YOU. i hate people, idc if this gets rejected atleast someone read it if it did.

Since 2019, after the tragic loss of their parents, I've taken on the responsibility of caring for my 8-year-old nephew, Sam. Transitioning from a carefree 34-year-old bachelor to a solo fatherhood role has been challenging but deeply rewarding.

My brother was quite successful financially and had invested in a property that is now a rental. Unfortunately, the income from it doesn't cover the mortgage and maintenance costs, but it's an investment that will hopefully pay off for Sam's future. In addition to supporting Sam, I'm covering expenses for a house we don't reside in. Sam also attends a private school, which strains the budget further.

This past summer, Sam expressed a keen interest in attending a sleepaway camp known for its outstanding programs. Regrettably, the cost was prohibitive; I could only manage to cover two weeks, despite the camp’s three-week minimum stay requirement. After Sam had started his time at the camp, I received a surprising call from the camp's office informing me that an anonymous donor wished to fund Sam's entire summer stay.

Initially bewildered, I insisted on knowing who the sponsors were before even considering their offer. It turned out to be the parents of a boy Sam knew slightly. Although affluent and perhaps well-intentioned, their previous condescending attitude and disparaging remarks about those they've 'helped' made me uneasy. I decided to confront them directly, explaining that our personal financial situation was not an invitation for charity, particularly not meant to soothe their conscience or assert superiority.

They seemed shocked by my frankness but reiterated that I should consider what's best for Sam. However, their patronizing demeanor only reinforced my decision. I respectfully declined their offer, emphasizing that Sam’s summer wouldn't be devoid of joy or enrichment. He already had a series of playdates arranged, a trip with his cousins, and an exciting visit to Legoland planned with another uncle. My nephew's summer was packed with fun and family, far from the dreary picture they painted.

One can only imagine what the scene would look like if this were played out on a reality TV show. There would likely be dramatic music swells as I explained our situation to the affluent parents, followed by close-ups of their surprised faces. Viewers might weigh in through live tweets or post-show polls, debating the ethics of charity and the pride in self-sufficiency.

What would you do if offered anonymous financial help for your child?

When it's all in your imagination, sucks isn't it lol

i’ve been thinkin about this a lot lately, like way more than i probly should, but i just can’t help it. i go to this school where so many kids are rich or like... pretty well off. not just talkin new clothes or fancy phones, i mean actual money. like they get picked up in shiny cars, talk about their summer trips to europe, have the newest gadgets before they even come out. nd then there’s me. my shoes are always a little worn out, i still got the same backpack since 7th grade, and when ppl talk about “weekend plans” mine are usually helpin my mom clean or babysit my cousin. my family’s not just “not rich,” we’re broke-broke. i don’t blame them or anything, they work hard, they love me, we just never had much. and while no one at school has ever been mean to me about it, not once, i still feel it. like this quiet voice in my head always whisperin “you don’t belong here.”

what sucks the most is that i do have friends. like, good ones. they include me in everything, they don’t care i don’t have name-brand stuff or can’t always go out when they do. they joke with me, they listen, they’re just... normal. and i try to act normal too. i laugh, i join in, i smile. but inside, i’m always thinkin about what i’m missing. i feel like i have to try harder just to be at the same level. if we’re doin a project, i work extra hard so they don’t think i’m dumb. if we’re hangin out, i make sure i’m funny or helpful or something, like i gotta earn my place all the time. and they never asked me to. they never made me feel like i’m “less than.” but that don’t change the fact that i still feel less than. i can’t stop comparing. even if i got the same grade or the same laugh, i still feel like i’m catching up to everyone else’s life.

i don’t even talk to anyone about it, not even my best friend. how do you even say, “hey, i feel small around you sometimes even tho you’re nice to me”? it’s not their fault i feel this way. it’s just... the way everything is. the way i grew up always worrying about bills or food or how to fix something ourselves because we can’t pay someone to do it. nd even when i’m at school, doing fine, gettin decent grades, i still feel like one wrong move and i’ll slip and they’ll all realize i’m not like them. it makes me scared to dream big sometimes. like, who am i to think i can be something? go to a big college? have a cool job? buy my mom a house? sounds fake when i say it out loud. it’s hard to believe in yourself when everything around you has always told you to settle. and even harder when you’re in a place full of people who already have what you’re fightin for.

so yeah, how to overcome inferiority complex? hell if i know. i’m still figurin it out. maybe it starts with stopping the comparisons, or reminding myself that money don’t make someone better than me. maybe i gotta start believing my friends actually like me for me, not what i have. i guess i gotta remind myself that i’m smart, i’m funny (sometimes lol), i’m kind, and those things matter too. but it’s not easy. some days it’s like carrying a weight i can’t drop. but i’m tryna be better. i’m tryna hold my head up even when my shoes are scuffed. maybe i don’t got all the stuff they got, but i got my own story. and maybe one day, i’ll look back at this and realize i was enough the whole time. just gotta keep goin. one step at a time.

I've always been somewhat of a recluse, deliberately steering clear of social media and generally shying away from the spotlight. My wife knows this well, yet she refrains from uploading my photos online, though I’ve never explicitly forbidden her from doing so. I’ve always preferred simple, quiet celebrations for events like Father’s Day or my own birthday, keeping any unnecessary attention at bay.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a very treatable form of skin cancer. Detected early, the prognosis was excellent, with a negligible risk of serious consequences. As an engineer, I approached the situation with a level of detachment, comforted by the statistics and my doctor’s positive outlook. Naturally, I confided in my wife, who became overwhelmingly concerned despite my reassurances. We decided that it would be best to keep our children in the dark about my condition, sparing them any worry over something I believed to be a minor issue. My wife reluctantly agreed.

However, just days later my father contacted me, alarmingly inquired about my “battle with cancer.” It appeared that my wife had disclosed my diagnosis on Facebook that morning. When confronted, she defended her actions by claiming I hadn’t specifically asked her not to share it online, only to avoid telling our children. Frustrated but resolute, I convinced her to remove the post.

My treatment progressed smoothly, and soon, I was officially in remission. My doctor cheerfully informed me that while they avoid saying "cured," effectively, I was. Overjoyed, my wife and I hoped to move past this chapter. Or so I thought.

This past weekend, I arrived home to find a street bustling with cars and many more parked in my driveway. Confused, since no significant dates had come to mind, I entered the house only to be greeted by a surprise party celebrating my remission. I was completely taken aback – my wife knew my stance on surprise gatherings and yet had organized one for something I considered deeply personal. Claiming a sudden need to return to the office, I quickly excused myself, grabbed a few inconsequential files from my study, thanked the guests, and left. Later, my wife confronted me, leading to an argument where I expressed my disapproval of her turning a personal milestone into a public celebration.

Following the incident, there's been a noticeable tension between us. My brother even called me out, labeling me an 'asshole' for my reaction, suggesting I was too harsh.

Imagine if all this drama unfolded on a reality show. Viewers would probably be divided, some sympathizing with my need for privacy, while others might argue that my wife’s actions, though misguided, were rooted in love and deserved a more gracious response from me. It could have become a classic episode filled with conflict, emotional interviews, and maybe even a reconciliation scene, grabbing the audience’s attention with genuine, raw human experience.

Am I wrong for feeling upset about my wife's public celebration of my private health matter?

I reside in Delaware and have a well-compensated position, supporting both myself and my boyfriend, who is currently unemployed. Not long ago, I had the privilege of attending a lavish Spanish-Italian wedding as the bride's witness. The event spanned two days, three hours away from the city, featuring a wedding ceremony, a celebratory lunch, a festive party, and a follow-up barbecue for a relative’s birthday. The marrying couple had instructed us not to bring gifts due to an upcoming second celebration in Italy, hosted at a mansion, anticipated to include over 80 guests. My role as the bride’s witness involved extensive responsibilities, from renting a car for over €250 to managing guest transportation and logistics.

Upon arriving at the barbecue, I discovered there was insufficient food for the attendees, prompting us to shop for groceries. During this errand, our hosts requested additional items, including fresh bread specifically fetched by my boyfriend. However, when he tried to obtain some bread at the barbecue, he was surprisingly denied the bread he himself purchased. The aftermath saw me cooking for over an hour, only to realize the purchases we made were being shared among all guests. It felt as though we inadvertently footed the bill for the barbecue we were invited to. The next day, the newlyweds requested that I look after their plants for a month while they traveled, to which I agreed and even prepared a celebratory bottle of champagne for their return.

In light of the funds expended on food that benefited more than just us, I sought to partially recuperate the expenses through Splitwise, attributing two-fifths of the costs to the bride. Rather than appreciation, I faced severe reproach for not contributing a gift, not assisting in cleaning up, and allegedly not supporting enough financially. The irony peaked when I was reproached for expecting monetary compensation, with insinuations that I should reassess my financial priorities, despite adhering to their initial request of no gifts and my extensive logistical support.

The situations left me feeling undervalued and emotionally distressed, questioning the sincerity of my friendship and the recognition of my contributions to their special days. It’s bewildering to extend oneself so thoroughly only to be met with criticism and misunderstanding.

If this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, it's imaginable that the audience might be split. Some might sympathize with my efforts and feel outraged at the hosts' expectations and lack of gratitude. Others might argue that as the wedding witness, such responsibilities and expenditures should be anticipated, perhaps critiquing my decision to seek reimbursement or my reaction to the circumstances.

If I was in a reality show, what would the viewer's reaction be?

I feel a little awkward sharing this. It makes me feel a bit insensitive, given that people have real active issues on here. But, I want some advice on how to fit in better. I’ve always felt like an outsider peeking in, like I don’t belong or fit in anywhere. I always try by going and talking to people, but I always feel like I’m forcing them to include me. It’s been this way since I was in elementary school. I’m awkward and quiet, and I’ve always been like that. Even when I do make friends, I always find myself questioning if I’m inconveniencing them. I just feel different. Should I try to go out more? Maybe join some kind of club? How do I make this work?

I'm a 20-year-old university student living in the dorms for the summer, and my roommate, Amanda, who is 34, shares the space with me. Despite our age difference, Amanda and I bond over countless things, and she often treats me like a younger sister, making our living situation quite pleasant and familial. Unlike most students who might prefer dining out, I am someone who generally cooks her meals, but I do occasionally indulge in eating out.

Amanda often accompanies me to these meals. Sometimes it’s just the two of us because my circle of friends is busy, or she herself would extend an invitation which I happily accept. Over time, I noticed Amanda began to treat me more often, generously covering our meal costs, despite her financial dependency on her parents since she doesn’t hold a job. I’ve frequently insisted on handling my own bills, but she has always brushed off my suggestions.

On a celebratory occasion after our midterms, we decided on a slightly upscale sushi restaurant. Amanda, who typically orders generously due to her larger appetite, chose several sushi rolls and dumplings for herself, while I settled on a single sushi roll and water, mindful of my tight budget and smaller appetite. Halfway through the dinner, Amanda dropped a bombshell. She suggested that I should pick up the tab for both of us this time. Taken aback, I questioned this sudden expectation as we had never agreed on such an arrangement. Amanda responded with indignation, mentioning how she had paid during previous outings and it was now my 'turn'.

When I expressed unawareness of any such agreement and highlighted our disproportionate food orders which my budget couldn’t cover, she lashed out by criticizing my financial situation, calling upon my parents' wealth as a reason for why I could afford it. I explained that while it was true my education was generously financed by my parents, my actual cash flow was tightly governed by them, supplemented only by my summer job earnings. This left her sulking and silent for the remainder of our meal. I, ensuring no further complications, requested separate bills.

Since that meal, there hasn’t been much conversation between us and I'm concerned about the potential damage to our friendship. Could it be that I was too harsh in not covering her this one time, or was Amanda's expectation unreasonable?

Imagining if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, the drama would certainly be heightened. Cameras would zoom in on our tense expressions and possibly onlookers’ reactions for added impact. The conversation would likely be painted in a dramatized light, potentially influencing viewers to pick sides. Emotional confessionals from both me and Amanda would insert personal insights, making the audience sympathize with one or the other based on the personal backstories and explanations regarding our financial standings.

I'm unsure now—am I wrong in this?

I’m 23f and I’ve never had any sexual or romantic experience (no holding hands or talking stage). It just never happened for me. Most of my life I didn’t really care or pay attention to it, but it’s like I “woke up” about two or three years ago and looked around and realised I’m so behind everyone else my age. Since then I’ve been trying and failing to do something about it and it’s been affecting my mental health really badly. I can be pretty socially anxious but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’ve been trying to go out more and meet new people, but every time I’ve approached a guy I’ve been rejected. I know that happens and maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but it really messed with my self-esteem as well. I’m not particularly attractive but I try to work with what I have. All that affected my mental health really badly and turned my inexperience into a massive insecurity, making me embarrassed and feel that it’s “too late” now. I see it as a proof that no one found me desirable before. It’s gotten so bad I’m even avoiding my friends now because I feel like I’m so much worse than them. Now I’m worried that even if I do find someone I could get along with, he’s going to be weirded out and turn me down because of it.

So I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is a bit older. I love him for the most part and it's mostly good but I feel bored sometimes. I don't wanna do anything crazy but sometimes I'd like if he'd plan things spontaneously. Not even something elaborate or expensive but anything. He does fun things but we both tend to be busy and we only get saturdays and weekday evenings and throughout the week we'll meet briefly. Of course I've communicated it and he wants to do things and he'll talk about it but it's the actually doing it part. Also even after we spend a couple hours together Saturday I often feel bored during or afterwards and I find myself wishing we would do more. Sometimes I regret being with an older guy and I love many things about him but it kinda sucks not being able to do things that I've wanted to. And I don't want to tell him about the regret or disappointment because I don't wanna hurt him but I do tell him about the things I wish we did. I know he's focused on making money and so am I but I can't help how I feel. And I feel like I'm a shitty person for feelings these things.

Ok let me start off by saying I work for a nonprofit. a NONPROFIT. I've worked at the same place since I was 15 years old. im now almost 19. so I have lots of seniority over most of the work team now. anyway that's besides the point. our media and community advertisement lady just quit, good for her she was amazing and found a better job. But the new lady they brought in? I never thought I could meet a pettier adult with a damn child.

Let me start off by saying my boss hired her straight out of college. so she thinks she knows it all. great. keep it to yourself. when she first started we were working on opening a second smaller branch of our store that I now practically run. She wasn't doing her damn job and making up the appropriate flyers for it so I did it under the ok from my boss. she didn't like that. but whatever.

for comparison I work at this new branch 5 days a week all day from open to close. she works one half shift there every week. that's it. and she won't cover other peoples shifts but gets mad when no one will cover hers. If I forget to change garbages before I leave for my two days off? she will take pictures and send them to my boss. That was back when she worked the day right after me. now it has switched and I work the day after her. and guess what? she doesn't change the damn garbages either.

so I did something boardering stupid. I started a journal. every time she does anything to me I write it down with dates. every time I come into the store and no garbages are changed? I take a picture, timestamp it and print off the picture to put in the journal.

don't even get me started about our policies. as a nonprofit second hand store our main shoppers are seniors. they can't just take furniture with them that day. they need time to find help. but at this new store we can't do holds. I had this elderly couple come in one day and want this wicker love seat. they couldn't have lifted a pot let alone a couch. so I said sure id hold it.

the day they came and picked it up? the day this new hire lady was in. she told the entire staff what id done like I broke a law and left passive agressive notes everywhere aimed at me about 'no holding' like ok Karen then why are you putting shoes under the cash desk for yourself to 'think about' for a week? HUH?

my boss finally came in and did her whole 'we can't do that' speech and I accepted it. fine. my boss actually talked to me and didn't leave a passive aggressive notes for me. good. all clear right? RIGHT?

nope. she texted me like an hour later asking if we had a certain piece of decor. she was vague with the question and due to her job I thought she wanted pictures of it to post. so I asked her if she wanted it put aside. she immediately texted me back saying 'we don't do holds.' LIKE SERIOUSLY?! YOU WERE THERE WHEN OUR BOSS SAID IT!! So I texted her back to cover my own ass saying like I thought she wanted it for a post. THEN she texted me back like 'oh yeah someone messaged her and wanted to know if we had them' like she was trying to get dirt on me. so I screenshotted the text and added it to my journal. like seriously? she has a kid and is in her 30s and she's beefing with a 19 year old over stupid shit like this????

And now they had to switch her days cause none of our volunteers will work with her and the only employee that will work with her is only available Thursdays. that says a lot. 7 different volunteers plus me and two other employees won't work with her. you'd think my boss would see it right? She's been working here for 4 months or more.

im so done with it.

Now here's the question. Do I take the journal to my boss now? or do I wait and see if I can't get more on her then go?

My son, Alex, recently finished high school and we were funding his upcoming road trip with his pals. The journey was scheduled for Wednesday when unexpectedly, my in-laws met with a severe car accident in another state, turning our plans upside down. We faced a daunting four-hour drive as my wife was deeply distressed, her father was in a critical state, but fortunately, he survived.

We have two younger children aged 11 and 7, and leaving them alone wasn't an option. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any last-minute babysitter; even our neighbors couldn’t help out. Thus, Alex, who is 18, had to step in. He was understandably upset but had no choice. I promised him we would compensate him and tried to get him to reschedule the trip with his friends. However, they couldn’t postpone it.

After my wife and I spent two days away, and with my wife staying behind to be with her parents, I returned alone. When I talked with Alex upon return, trying to sort out how he could still catch up with his friends, he was extremely frustrated, arguing that too much of the trip had already been missed. Despite still having 12 days left from the two-week trip itinerary, he felt disheartened and locked himself in his room after calling me unfair.

He later spoke with his mother and the conversation did not go smoothly either. After yelling at her and blaming her for everything, she broke down, which led her to send him photos of his injured grandparents. Ultimately, Alex decided to skip the trip altogether, as the airplane tickets would not be needed anymore.

During a heated discussion, my wife found herself furious at Alex's attitude - yelling right at the start of their call and accusing her of being selfish. To complicate matters, we learned that although my father-in-law was showing some improvement in feeling in his legs, our son’s friends had advanced further, now closer to their next destination, Mexico.

In the midst of this chaos, I haven't yet broken the latest developments to my wife, waiting for a calmer moment. It's difficult indeed managing such family crises.

If this incident were part of a reality show, the drama and intense emotions would undoubtedly draw viewers in. A camera would capture every strain on Alex’s face as he dealt with the abrupt changing of plans, the tearful breakdowns of my wife, and the high-tension exchanges between family members. Viewers would be glued to their screens, speculating about the outcomes and possibly questioning each family member's reactions and coping mechanisms. The blend of family loyalty, young dreams, and critical health emergencies could provide a potent mix of relatable and voyeuristic entertainment.

It’s curious to ponder - who the audience would sympathize with more? Who would be seen as the antagonist in the whole affair? Such complex family dynamics made public could offer widely varying interpretations from an engaged audience.

i've never been more alone than before. my social circle has been getting smaller and smaller over the years. i recently got into a fight/discussion with one of my two only friends which i also had a situationship and i'll likely never ever going to talk to him again (he was venting to me about a situation and i was too sincere about that and plainly mean, i accept the fact it's purely my fault). i've been really angry about that and it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked, I don't ever want to see him again really because even if i was mean, he didn't thought about my feelings since he literally abandoned me at my worst and he knew it, but i miss him... i miss him so much.

the other one doesn't talks to me nor reply to my messages, i've known her for like 7-8 years, we have always been great friends, but something i feel it's that i need her more than she needs me, and we both know it, and the only reason they have been my friend for so long it's because she doesn't wants to hurt me and make me commit suicide (i had attempts before, and she was there for me at those times and she was kinda the only reason I didn't). i've been growing paranoid about this, I don't want to get fully alone and I haven't talked to anyone at all for like 2 days straight. i feel that nobody has ever liked me at all. i feel desperate, so desperate. i'd like to make more friends, but i'm socially anxious and nobody really gets me at all, just them. martina is literally the person that makes me feel safe, understood, she's my sister of another mom, she's the only person that has ever understood me and the only one i can trust, but if it was all fake all along? i'm crying as i think about it, at the fact that maybe my love has always been unilateral and our bond was fake all along. i've created my whole point of view and philosophy around her, and the fact i never fully understood why she was my friend. that maybe it was part of my destiny to know her here and every other life i had, for us to be siblings... that idea has been shattering lately, and it's destroying my whole life, what little remains of it... i'm so alone, I don't know what to do anymore