Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Is "worrying about others" really worrying about other when you only do It cause tik tok told you should? Cause honestly, you literally ignored me and told me to "men up" when i was at my lowest and was suffering and trying to ask for help FOR OVER 6 YEARS NOW. And now that i'm somewhat ok-ish and trying to figure things out and not fall back into the loop, you're all over me playing the bleeding Heart. But not because you were worrying about me, not because you love me, but because TIK TOK TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULD. It didn't even come from you. You needed the "external guidance" from a RANDOM TIK TOKER to realize messed up things were happening, got obssessed and now you're dumping It on me, playing the victim and making me the bad guy. Like you with everything, every single time. And then you wonder why i never talk to you or never ask you for help? Guess. Not that you would be able to. You're too much of a selfcentered hypocrite.

i have been sh free for four years and that ended today. but today i realized almost everyday for the past four years ive thought about sh or wanting to kms but i just convinced myself that the depression diagnoisis is wrong and that im happy and content with my life when everything has been wrong. everyday i wake up and wish i died in my sleep or driving to school in a car crash or maybe something would fall on me or i would just be unlucky and fall through a floor or something. ive never told this to anyone ever. my world has been crashing down on me this year i hate me i hate college apps i hate life and school and everything. i am confused and sad and tired. help

I just turned 18 and graduated high school last year and if I'm being honest about everything, I genuinely cannot see myself passing the age of 20. I still feel like I'm 12 years old about to start high school, I genuinely have nothing going for me in life, I have no friends; the ones I do have live in different states and are with their significant others, which is something I don't have. I feel like a burden for my family and they all have jobs and expect me to get one or start doing something with my life.

What can I do to change the way I feel?

My girlfriend of four years always has this habit when she's get angry toward me, no matter how small or petty the mistake is, she'd call me names, insults me like i value nothing, she'd say that she regrets having me as her boyfriend, or even regretting the fact that she did introduced me to her family. It hurts me a lot, until it gets to the point where i can't feel anything anymore when she does that, i've always been trying to be the best boyfriend she'd ever had, but i can't seem to earn her trust and i think i can't do it anymore. I must admit, however...she is a quite attractive woman, my type, but i can't bear the feelings when she'd got mad, i've always trying to control myself just because she won't get angry at me. It drains me a lot, so bad. I've also always been trying to be loyal, faithful toward her, and loving, anything, i put all my efforts for her, because i really do love her so much. I held her hands, reassured her when she'd overthink about anything, writing love letters, and whatnots, but i guess i can't make her fully happy with me. Well, i admit, i have my own mistakes too, i'm not a saint or something, but i'd never, never call names toward her, or even abusing her in any way, i don't know if i deserve this or not, i just need to vent. Thank you, fellow anonyms, that's all.

I find it hard to believe how complicated it is to express myself online using abstract language. It's something that fulfills me because it's precisely the language I need to express what I feel. From there, I seek to talk about my life.

Indeed, I feel this is about saying that life holds a complexity beyond what is normally presumed to be a life. It's an act of respect. It's a constant demand to adapt to a language that I find insufficient.

When I vent, I do so in order to talk about my life and be able to visualize it. Being overwhelmed, I can't see what I have to say about my life, which is me and what surrounds me in some way.

Speaking in a format that many seek, considered simple, being reductionist, is precisely preventing the way in which my visualization is necessary. This isn't talking about anxiety or an obsession; it's an effort to understand how I am.

Without a doubt, we can talk about nervousness about everything I have to say. However, I don't experience anxiety because I don't feel an imminent threat; on the contrary, I feel that this is more of a sign that I'm about to get out of something. Nor can I speak of obsession, because we're not even talking about recurring thoughts.

Speaking of venting, I am indeed talking about my life, and it consists of details, which may be various, encapsulated under a single theme. However, the fact that the question relates to a single person, a single situation, doesn't indicate being obsessed with a topic or anxious; at most, it indicates that one goes beyond the ordinary regarding said topics and considers oneself strange.

Today, and with the advances that have occurred in all areas of knowledge, I am surprised, I must say, that the strange is worthy of rejection, especially when it comes to people, a matter that requires precise treatment to be inserted. In short, venting itself, it must be said, makes us strange because it allows us to delve into details that are unknown even to us, even to ourselves.

It is often argued that we should think before speaking, when this issue represents or points to the difficulty of recipients receiving varied information. We can categorically say that no person thinks before speaking; at the same time they speak, they think, and they used to think even when they were silent. And the fact that their thoughts coincided with the words expressed, sonorously, expresses the obstruction they represent for us, simply a compulsion.

In this society, many things are defended with which I do not agree. I believe that we all truly want to face life, but it is at the cost of our constant exercise with it, and in the worst circumstances, which is to be alone. This society supports not doing that; after all, that would imply that this individual can do without them, so in the event of any reprisal from a majority, it will be indispensable. It must be said that many of the things that are pointed out as bad are ways of expressing that one should not be something that could be harmful, being against it. They call it politeness, but it's clearly anxiety. It's clear that those who base their lives on thinking that something isn't right and therefore need to change it, thanks to the obsession that it represents, since these are recurring thoughts that result in displeasure, seek said change as a result of the obsession itself. If we notice, anxiety and obsession are the entities that most often support each other.

Proper relief allows us to escape these situations because it allows us to tune into them and continue with our routine, with those thoughts that lead to its consolidation. However, change is used as an excuse to maintain the routine, invading other spaces, naturally encouraging narcissistic behaviors that weren't present before. We can safely say that anyone who seeks a constant routine and doesn't let off steam, given the changing essence of those elements external to our routine, which also change them, leads us to be potential narcissists. It must be said, these are not the things many therapists talk about.

Many therapists enjoy entering this field without having integrated their knowledge of the subject, which leads them to become simple victims of a system. Through their sessions, they seek to force others to succumb to it through their integration. They become counselors, simply detaching themselves from the discourse, from the particularity of the patient, to provide developmental treatment as an individual in their individuality, to bring them to a collective one, where the notions of anxiety and obsession are supported as accusatory elements, of that which runs beyond conceived limits. Indeed, these are against the idea of ​​letting off steam.

So, with psychotherapists, we can't let off steam. Nor with the environment, because it would be a struggle for a normality, furthermore, by not entering into it, making these individuals incapable of developing themselves and consequently segregating ourselves. Frankly, I don't understand how an individual can develop in this world, particularly. It's being at the mercy of situations that are camouflaged through discourses considered normal, open to everyone, but that prevent us from understanding what my life consists of, starting from the smallest details and which joy leads to a holistic spirit.

It's not fair that people like me, to say it without any fear, are at the mercy of such treatment. I know there are people like me who are also on these paths; it would be somewhat prejudiced for me to say that there is no one else. Of course, those who haven't been in the same terrain as me and only notice me will say that there is no one else like me. Of course, they take what they know as a sample and project it onto the rest of the world when, as can be seen, many are those who don't dare to delve into anything beyond my surroundings. How contradictory, frankly.

I am so mad at myself for not doing my best and being disappointed.

My mom told me that she dreamed about me where she tries to wake me up but i would not and that moment i tell to myself maybe it's about to happen.

I feel like we can't talk at all, friends. I feel like we can't talk much on social media. We're judged too much. On Telegram, I'm judged too much. A strange guy came to judge me as crazy. To speak to me in charming, meaningless language. To tell me that what I write formally is hurting the group. Who does he think he is? I can express myself however I want. When I write these posts with beautiful formality, with the desire to see beautifully what's happening to me, what's happening to me, I feel that instead of inspiring him to be a better person, he actually backs down.

How is it possible that posts like mine, which offer such a detailed analysis of my behavior? Very pleasant, very detailed, very beautiful, and also written with refined data, can inspire such destructive criticism as to say that I'm hurting the group, that I'm making it difficult for the group to coexist. Doesn't he realize that what he's providing is an improvement? How disrespectful.

Why, instead of hindering good progress, don't you go somewhere else to do it? There was a guy who wanted to be my ceiling, and I didn't like that. I don't think anyone does. I hate that guy deeply; it doesn't do me any good. Those people who put a ceiling on someone aren't good people. They're always obstacles. By the way, there's a space on Telegram where they tell me that their space is the privileged one for expressing themselves, as if they were the superiors; it turns out I'm very distrustful. It's impossible that I found one of those people in an emotional support group. How is it possible that I found a guy like that?

The previous day, along with a classmate, they told me I was an artificial intelligence. That they should kick me out of the group for that. Can you believe it? I can't believe that because of my writing style, which is what I mentioned above, they considered me one of those things. The problem isn't that; the point is that they told me they should kick me out. How are they going to kick me out after expressing myself? How, after expressing myself through my beautiful writings, are they proposing to kick me out? It was something I couldn't believe. They were monsters. I couldn't believe it. The other guy I mentioned, the one I mentioned earlier, told me I was an artificial intelligence. He insisted, even when I told him no thousands of times. The guy I mentioned earlier insisted, despite being scolded, that I was an artificial intelligence. They even went so far as to claim that my writings couldn't have been written by a human being. I felt extremely offended, angry. I'd never encountered such an offense to myself.

It was like feeling like I had no place anywhere, friends. That my voice, my words, my desire to improve, had no place anywhere. It was one of the most terrifying experiences I'd ever experienced. How could they kick me out of anywhere for expressing myself? Besides a place of support?! It was something I couldn't believe. I wanted to die after that. I never thought I'd have such an experience, ever. Besides, my writing was beautiful, pretty, precious, and didn't bother anyone. They only considered it harmful because it bothered others, because their writing style wasn't theirs. Because I wasn't like them, should I leave? Or should I lower myself to being like them? Everyone's writing is a very personal thing; or rather, their improvement, because that's what I aim for with these writings. It's working with anxiety. How the hell could they frame my process? That's harmful to anyone's health! Both physically and emotionally! How can monsters like that exist on social media? I still can't believe it. It was a truly terrifying experience.

I just wanted to write calmly in that Telegram group. Relaxed, calm. And that's what happens to me. Also, for a long time now, I've been in need of consolation. I confess, I need to talk a lot. I feel very accomplished about things. I feel like I need to talk to someone, but they're not there. She's a girl who should have arrived a long time ago, but she hasn't. I don't know where she is, and I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do about her. I feel like something happened to her or something. I don't know where she is. I swore I'd leave her—I confess—so I could get her out of a negative situation, so she'd somehow reach out to me, and yet she hasn't. I've seen it work with other people, but not with me. Well, I'm being grim: I respected her space. I feel like that's why she should come. Knowing she's with a respectful person, who gives her peace, who doesn't control her life. Why isn't her life coming? Could it be that someone managed to control her life and I don't know them? I feel like she doesn't value the effort I'm making to wait for her. I don't know what to do to run into her. She was supposed to be my life partner, at least, that's what I expected. I feel like I wasted my time looking for a way for her to be with me, also for her pleasure. It can't be that she did this to me, it can't be that she's I'm going through this. This is hell. How could I have lost her?

(Clive)

You know exactly who you are. and who I am.

Sapphire is confused. Cartter’s just himself, but honestly worse. Bax is indifferent, they never had any particular affection for anyone they knew. Mushroom has no idea what’s happened. I’m generally indifferent, you never were anything to me. Allen locked front, he doesn’t want to deal with us anymore, but I managed to get him to let me out for a bit. Aether just doesn’t care, he was tired of everyone calling him “unc” anyway. We gained a new one, Carlos, who thinks Allen could’ve handled it better.

(Sapphire)

Clive’s right, I am kinda confused, I don’t know why Allen did this. I just hope… nevermind. Allen wouldn’t want me to say that, and neither would they, I suppose… Cartter would say something, but he’s a little angry with Allen, and trying to hide that anger. What me and Clive are trying to say is don’t be mad at ALL of us, please. This was all Allen’s decision. But… he is happy with his new friends, and glad to see that you guys seem… generally still happy without him, at least on the outside. He read all your posts, and he’s… understandably shaken (I am choosing my words SO CAREFULLY here and still failing at keeping my head cool). His exact words were, “Nothing like going through your ex’s vent posts about you… I feel like an asshole. Probably cause I am, but… y’know.”

Hey, guys. So, I've been grappling with a bit of a morally gray area lately, and I could really use some outside perspective. Is it bad to watch porn? I get that it's a touchy subject, and opinions on it vary greatly. Sometimes, I feel like everyone does it, but no one talks about it, almost like it's this secret secluded to the hidden corners of our lives. The alluring consumption of adult content is accessible as ever due to modern technology and the privacy it offers, yet the stigma surrounding it remains quite palpable. It leads one to wonder about its implications, both psychologically and ethically. I mean, sure, on the surface level, indulging in pornography feels like a harmless escapade, almost like ordering takeout instead of cooking. But is it nearly as innocent as it seems?

There's something undeniably magnetic about the immediate gratification it offers, and let's face it, the variety is vast. However, I can't help but feel that there's a darker underlying current. Does it adversely affect our perception of reality? Impacts cognition and behavior? Or maybe even our relationships with others? These questions keep swirling around in my head. The industry sure is a juggernaut, boasting millions of viewers but is it all coming at a hefty price? Does it heighten unrealistic expectations or foster an unhealthy cycle that one struggles to escape from? I know personally, it's hindered my capacity to connect meaningfully with partners at times. And the feeling of guilt lingers, a byproduct of wondering if I'm feeding into something more sinister. Are others feeling this duality of pleasure and guilt too, or is it just me? Ugh, it's complicated, isn't it? 🤔

Okk so the second half of the school year and damnn I have a LOT of free classes I can both come later to school and leave early and yk what I’m happy but here’s the thing WHAT DO I DOOOO??? My parents r so draining to be around and even as I was in school today I wouldn’t mind staying longer if it means I don’t have to be with them, but what am I going do tho?? Some days I’m having a special class in the morning so don’t have to worry about them but after school and the other days?? ‘Get a job’ I PHYSICALLY CANT ‘Volunteer’ good suggestions but something feels off I don’t have any friends so can’t chill at their house or hang out with them. Theres a library near but I can’t be there every single day till June??? I mean I could.. i have a lot of personal work to be done, ok good suggestions but what else?? And I lwk want smt far bc the only negative thing about my school is its way too close want to chill in the supermarkets near it? What if I see one of my parents?? Just chill near the park/grass area(well I wouldn’t do that people from my school there and way to awkward) and parents too. Take the public transport? PARENTS COULD ALSO BE ON THERE Theres a fast food place near the school but as u imagine near a school it’s gonna be always crowded so uber eats might be seeing a lot of me this year! Also connects to this - this Friday the 2 classes I have both teachers just said we will go see a show and like yh so basically a free day I don’t even have to go school WTH? I couldn’t have gotten this amazing blessing with nice and chill parents?? But lwk not wanting to see this show , it’s so crowded and just not a good space for my head , hopefully I can get out after I get registered. Maybe do a good delivery hmm anyway yh fine if u don’t have any suggestions thanks for reading too!

I don’t even know how to start this, but it’s been bothering me for a while now. I keep asking myself, why don’t people like me? Like, what am I doing wrong? I try to be nice to everyone, but it feels like no one really wants to be my friend. And honestly, it’s starting to feel really lonely.

In school, it’s like I’m invisible most of the time. I’ll sit with people during lunch or in class, but I’m never the one they actually talk to. It’s always someone else. When I try to join the conversation, it’s like they don’t even hear me, or they just give me this fake smile and move on. I can’t tell if it’s something I said or if there’s just something about me that makes people not want to hang out with me.

I thought maybe I’m too quiet or awkward, so I tried being more outgoing. Last week, I went to this party that I wasn’t even sure I was invited to (I overheard someone talking about it and decided to just show up). I tried talking to a group of people, but they kept looking at their phones or each other like they were waiting for me to stop talking. One of them even got up and walked away while I was mid-sentence. It was so embarrassing. I ended up leaving early and crying in my car for like an hour.

My mom keeps telling me, “Just be yourself, and the right people will like you.” But what if being myself is the problem? Maybe I’m just boring, or annoying, or too weird for people to care about. I mean, I see other people with their huge friend groups, laughing and posting about all the fun stuff they do together, and I just feel so... left out. It’s like there’s this secret code to making friends, and I didn’t get the memo.

Sometimes, I wonder if people even notice me at all. Like, if I wasn’t there, would they even care? Or would they just go on like nothing happened? And if this was a reality show, what would people think of me? Would they feel bad for me, or would they be laughing at how pathetic I look trying to fit in where I obviously don’t belong? Maybe they’d just fast-forward through my scenes because I’m not “interesting” enough.

I’ve tried to figure out what I’m doing wrong. Maybe it’s the way I talk? Or the fact that I don’t know how to make jokes like other people? Or maybe I come across as too desperate? I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I’m trying so hard to get people to like me, and it’s just making things worse.

It’s not like I haven’t tried making friends. I’ve joined clubs, gone to events, and even reached out to people online. But nothing ever really clicks. People will talk to me for a little while, but then they stop responding or just fade away. I don’t want to seem clingy, so I stop trying, but then I feel even lonelier. It’s like this never-ending cycle that I can’t escape.

I wish I could just stop caring. Like, who needs friends anyway, right? But the truth is, I do care. I want to have people I can talk to, hang out with, and just feel like I matter to someone. But no matter what I do, it feels like I’m stuck on the outside looking in.

If anyone’s reading this and has felt the same way, what did you do? How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough? Or better yet, how do you get people to like you without feeling like you’re begging for their attention?

And if this really was a reality show, what would people say about me? Would they see someone who’s trying too hard and laugh, or would they actually feel bad for me? Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Is that really too much to ask?

I'm feeling really confused at this point. What are we? WHAT ARE WE??? We exchange pictures, give each other words of affirmation, and are open and vulnerable with one another. What's worse is that he sees me as a friend. I'm his FRIEND. I don't necessarily want to be his girlfriend or anything—I'm sure neither of us is ready for that—and he doesn't view me that way. But AGHHHHHH! You can't say, "You're like a flower that hasn't bloomed. You just haven't had room to reach your full potential," and then follow it up with, "Love you too, buddy 🤍🤍." The white hearts indicate platonic love. He does send me red hearts too, but not as often as the white ones. He told me that I had restored his faith in humanity since we met, and that he had stopped looking for someone else. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

I want to be in a relationship with him, but I'm not ready, and it's not possible for us right now. Yet, does he really not have feelings for me at all? He mentioned that he can't really feel romantic emotions. I understand that, but it feels contradictory given everything he just told me. Help please.

For over two years, I meticulously planned my dream Halloween-themed wedding, securing a venue that was highly sought-after and often required long waitlists. As the date approached, a sudden upheaval occurred. My mother and grandmother voiced unsettling concerns, labeling the wedding as "satanic" and demanded sweeping changes at the eleventh hour.

I stood my ground firmly, reminding them that this theme had been known to the family for the entirety of the planning period. Their resistance escalated to the point where my mother's side of the family started a petty rebellion, declaring their intentions to boycott the wedding in what appeared to be a power struggle.

In response, I took decisive action. Anyone who echoed my mother's or grandmother's sentiments or decided to support their boycott was promptly uninvited. This included about 25 relatives, even extending to one of my sisters, who had insinuated withdrawing from her bridesmaid duties. I promptly replaced her.

In the wake of this family drama, I issued "un-invitations" and updated the guest list with new QR codes to ensure only supportive family members and friends could access the venue, effectively securing my wedding day from unwanted drama.

An aunt, who found herself among the uninvited, confronted me. She argued that people are entitled to their opinions and that I shouldn't retract invitations to those who had already made plans to attend. I countered that they had ample time, two years, to voice any disagreements, and backing out six weeks before the wedding was unreasonable. It was a clear message that I would not tolerate bullying or ultimatums regarding my wedding plans.

Imagine if this familial fallout were part of a reality TV show. Viewers would likely be glued to their screens, watching the drama unfold in real time. The divisive family dynamics and the bold moves to protect one’s wedding vision would undoubtedly make for a sensational episode. Opinions might be split, with some viewers cheering for standing up against family pressure, while others might critique the harshness of uninviting family members. The ratings would potentially skyrocket, sparking heated discussions across social media platforms.

I don’t know, but even I’m confused about what’s happening. I hope... I really hope my suspicion isn’t true...

That I have a third eye. I don’t want to tell my family because I’m afraid of what they’ll say or that they won’t believe me. Even I can’t believe it myself...

It happened when my family and I attended the funeral of my dad’s friend. His daughter had died by suicide. I remember it was nighttime, and everyone there was busy playing card games and talking. I was sitting alone, using my phone, when I glanced at the coffin. I saw the girl's hand hitting the glass part of the coffin. I didn’t know if I was just seeing things, but after a few seconds, it disappeared like nothing happened.

Sometimes, on my way home from school, I see one or two kids asking for money. They look normal. I was about to give them some coins, but I was shocked when the coin passed right through the child's hand. Right after that, a classmate who was also heading home asked me who I was talking to and who I was giving money to. I told them it was the kid begging for money, but when I turned back, the child was gone. My classmate was even surprised and said they never saw any kid come near me.

I’ve always known I liked girls, (I’m a female), but I don’t think I’ve ever been IN LOVE with a girl. That was until I met my best friend. There’s something about her that captivates me in a way I can’t explain, and I can tell it’s not just in a platonic light. Sometimes I get the urge to just touch her, kiss her, be as close to her as possible. I’m typically not a clingy or even remotely touchy friend. I’m only like that in relationships. Speaking of, I have a boyfriend…and she has a girlfriend (sort of)…which makes the entire situation 1000x worse. I feel so guilty because I love my boyfriend and he treats me so good. I’ve been with him for 2 years and it’s the most healthy and fulfilling relationship I’ve ever been in, but I can’t help that I feel this way. I’ve tried to suppress it and it feels like the harder I try the worse it gets. Like I said before, she has a girlfriend that she’s also been with for a while (although they’re currently broken up but likely getting back together because they still talk). There’s this dull ache I feel when she talks about her girlfriend, but I know she loves her dearly and I would never want to ruin that. I would also never want to ruin our friendship because she’s an AMAZING friend. It just haunts me every day. I needed to get it off of my chest because I’m too embarrassed to tell a friend. Also, the more I think about the fact that I do have feelings for her, the more I actually want to and feel this extreme urge to explore my sexuality more, because I’ve never actually been with or done anything with a female, and I’ve always wanted to. What do I do? Someone please give me some sort of advice. Thank you.