Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I can't f##king sleep as every time I try and sleep I end up having a bad dream ether about my nan or about what it feels like to die or to be dieing myself and the iner exsprances and the external exsprances that happen to you when you are dieing and I wake up from these dreams and end up having a panic attack.

please tell me it gets easier over time because I don't know how much longer I can put up with this for.

when I'm in the dreams it also feels like I'm being strangled by someone and I can't breathe.

There's a girl at work I like, but she's not my cup of tea. I sense she's interested in something beyond that, but I'm not. I sense she's somewhat delusional and capable of bursting into tears if her dream isn't fulfilled to the letter, if even the slightest change occurs. I don't want her to be the one directing the relationship, because otherwise, I'll be at the mercy of her dominance, with serious work-related repercussions resulting from the disappointment if I give in. If I were to propose to continue a relationship with her on an ongoing basis, it would be like holding her in that dream, no matter what, taking advantage of it, since she gains power over me: being however she wants in exchange, of course, for not breaking that dream.

I don't see a girl with prodigious mental health as a prerequisite, since her desire is to succumb to disappointment. Without the emotional management that subsequently impacts social situations to maintain relief, there's no possibility of a deep relationship, whether romantic or even dating. I continue to be amazed at how people give up on the illusion of being liked by another person and don't first examine the person they're dealing with. This leads me to a modus operandi that doesn't take responsibility for visualizing where the next step, which they sense they're going to take blindly, given their impulses, will lead.

In these circumstances, my dear friends, I understand the need to take risks, but there's also the need to observe, at least as far as you can see, which in itself is important for making decisions. There are undoubtedly times when the challenge will be worthwhile, but that's only if, based on our vision, we don't see anything that threatens our stability. The point is whether it's just right. Indeed, we can talk about difficulties; however, these seem valid to me when they enter into an axis that results in enrichment, which they all are. However, there are times when they arise and they correspond only to the need to distance oneself, since in our modus operandi there is no such enrichment, but rather an abandonment.

It's painful for me to feel that I cannot succumb with complete peace of mind to this woman because I am also eager for a relationship, even though I adore my solitude. My solitude stems precisely from accepting that I am capable of developing alone rather than in a group, because I haven't found a group that casts doubt on this idea, but rather reinforces it. Which makes me think that perhaps I only visualize those who make me feel that it's better to be alone, referring, of course, to my past, where being under a hegemony and consecrated as a family for my family, I saw solitude as a path to development.

Nowadays, I find it difficult to think of a group that supports my development, although I can't say that being alone isn't the first step toward such an issue. It's first about seeing where we're coming from, a question that speaks to our environment and, at the same time, a distancing from it, and then moving toward where we feel framed in terms of such an exercise in development. We can say they are stages. The relationships I've had before have been more of a way out of such a hegemonic family situation, given the excitement it holds for me. But the very effect of this very situation undermined me. Ultimately, in a hegemonic system, its origin lies in a heightened illusion about oneself, specifically in behavior.

I wish the circumstances with this girl were different, as in other cases, but it must be said that her usefulness to my well-being wasn't in deepening the relationship for a shared destiny, but rather to point out that I wasn't yet ready to leave such an environment, because, in principle, there isn't the distancing that would make it so. Physical distance in this sense was, like courtship, also a very attractive and widely accepted call. However, stability would depend on maintaining the hope with which I would be received. In itself, there was no escape. Furthermore, other interested individuals of different kinds would not be able to contemplate me because, in principle, I would not be able to contemplate them, and neither would they in me because I harbor fear of the environment in the midst of getaways, which implies the production of inconveniences to their stability. By nature, we all seek that which does not provide them, although sometimes this is in such demand that it is very expensive, as can be a blur, as are courtships and physical distances that were sometimes recommended to me, as I was told.

It's clear that family situations can't be resolved with easy solutions, because such complexity permeates the modus operandi and makes such an easy solution a path to another hell, but one that's more comforting thanks to the cessation in the face of deep disappointment, and on top of that, with us there defending that, because we have the feeling, although projected, that the idea of a better place is a lie. Nor can we turn back, because those who have welcomed us feel their support for us after such a situation has been in constant decline inside.

so I’m a 21-year-old guy playing hockey, right? all my teammates are rocking these perfect bodies with visible abs, and there’s me: a little bit on the heavier side. maybe it's not super obvious just how much this messes with my head, but every time I'm in the locker room, I feel uncomfortable like everyone's judging me. it doesn’t help when pictures go up online and friends or family see them... like ugh... just knowing they’re probably noticing i'm not as “fit” as everyone else.

cut to last weekend. we were having team practice, and coach decided to take some photos... great. I definitely felt those eyes on me, even if nobody said anything directly at that moment. then there's all this social media stuff where people keep highlighting others’ achievements or their latest workouts; it feels suffocating! “why haven’t I done as much?” “shouldn't i be trying different dieting stuff?” It keeps dragging down my self-esteem unnecessarily.

look i know what you're thinking: maybe it's about getting healthier in general rather than focusing solely on looks... but tell that to my brain when everyone else around is pretty body-conscious. if you've read books on mental toughness or confidence-boosting techniques (I tried diving into some of those motivational talks) they're nice and all but don't necessarily change the instant fear everytime someone's camera goes click. anyone resonate?

I’m currently a 32 yo woman in a stable relationship. My biggest wish would be starting a family with my long time boyfriend but we both agreed we should do that after having a bigger house of our own. Everyone around me is managing to do that (some have inherited their house from parents or relatives, others have already managed to buy one) and start a family of their own. We are currently paying rent for a small apartment and working our asses off to put away some money but house prices for a decent place (with some room for a future kid) still seem to be out of our range. I kinda feel hopeless at this point. Will I ever be able to achieve my dreams? It seems impossible to me as of now, I really don’t know what to do and I feel like my life is meaningless. I feel like I am late at life and that when we’ll be able to realize our project it will be to late for me to have a child.

I feel a little annoyed. I have nothing to do. I'm on vacation. Tomorrow should be a day I plan to go to work, but vacation takes me out of my routine. It's not something I enjoy. I loved being there at work. I felt like they were forcing my mind to focus on something else. Without work, I feel like my days will be the same, that I won't face anything new. Being alone in my house fills me.

The solitude of my house is overwhelming. I don't feel like reading or writing anything, even though I have that hobby, because I'm flooded with ideas. It's not a question of therapy, which has me very disappointed. I haven't been lucky enough to find a good therapist either. It saddens me not to have relationships that go beyond work.

There are two girls I interact with. Work is the only place where I have relationships because on the outside, they're barely a one-off contact, even though there are intentions from beyond. These girls only interact within the workplace, and the approaches that are appropriate for such events always involve the fear of losing out on a matter beyond the workplace.

I feel very sad. I have no one to talk to. I won't talk to my coworker or my boss, with whom I felt that supportive company. I enjoyed their games, their considerations, and those scoldings that reinforced order. I felt protected by this, as well as by higher-ranking authorities, who I feel respect me in a loving way. When I'm at home, it's just me.

My father may be there, who is the only person I count on, but I have to admit that nothing is the same for him. I barely see him once a week, and it's only to maintain the relationship as a means of supporting me with income. It's something I feel hypocritical about, although lately I've tried to keep contact brief so as not to raise as many hopes as possible for a future beyond such encounters, for a closeness that could pave the way for us together. These meetings, precisely, allow us to emphasize that everyone is on their own, as long as the economic issue is present, since otherwise it will become a struggle in which there will be attempts to disrupt each other's routine, just as meetings would be more numerous each week.

Frankly, I loved being at work. Now, my only friends these days are my walks, the television, and access to the internet, nothing more, where no one speaks to me knowing it's me, but instead I rejoice in more knowledge, which, for the one I have, is already overwhelming due to the fact that it creates a distance from others, which has long since tired me out. I have to admit that distancing myself from my reflections has given me the benefit of being more in touch with others, due to the fact that I don't sophisticate my language. However, I feel this has been a betrayal on my part, since I truly enjoy such a matter.

Do I want him, or do I simply just yearn for the feeling of being loved by somebody? Am I simply just bored, suddenly craving the attention of someone else while still having the full attention of him? I am a horrible person. I am undeserving of being loved; I do not have the capacity to be loved for anything but my measly little body. My frail feelings have me running in circles, eager to figure out... what is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I am undeserving of love. I see why nobody ever wishes to have me.

I'm struggling so much I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend of 1.5 years, and I have no idea at all if I still have romantic feelings for him. I always want the best for him, and I truly do want to see him succeed in life, but I just don't know if I love him anymore in that way. I've begged for months on end just for him to listen. to understand how I feel. He doesn't get it. He only wants to change when I'm beginning to slip from his grasp, and it's the worst feeling in the world. Only now that I'm starting to lose my care factor, he wants to fix the issue I've had for a YEAR. It feels so horrible. To add to that, my guy best friend is being really weird .. like oddly affectionate. It has me feeling ... confused? causing my struggle to worsen, even? And not only that, but he has been borderline encouraging me to leave my boyfriend.

I'm so confused .. lost, even. I don't know what to do with myself. It doesn't help I'm struggling with severe depression (5 years, ongoing).

It’s been 2 weeks since classes started and I’ve just been bombarded with activities, tests, more tests, group activities, quizzes and even more quizzes!

Im so overwhelmed, like wdym i need to manage 8 groups in 8 subjects? I don’t wanna have that responsibility.

Home is supposed to be the rest place right? FUCK NO. At home im asked to do chores, tasks and manage 5 animals?? ARENT THOSE YOUR PETS?? Why did they suddenly become mine?

“You barely do anything at home!” DAWG?? IM TOO OVERWHELMED TO DO ANYTHING. I NEED TO SCHEDULE WHAT SUBJECTS TO DO FIRST BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN CURRICULUM.

I HOPE that I’ll eventually get used to this fuckass schedule because im so close to genuinely jumping

Anyways! Byes 😛

I feel deeply hurt because my boss has interfered with one of my friends, and that's something I can't allow. It's incredibly difficult for me to have friendships, and to just abandon them like that, especially after manipulation and by dictating the terms of my interactions with them, is disrespectful. It's an imposition on the very nature of my life that I cannot tolerate under any circumstances, and I feel compelled to stand up for myself immediately by any means necessary. For him to ask me if I'm doing this because I like this person, want a relationship, or something like that, is disrespectful. It's an accusation that I'm trying to turn a human being into a profile, and that goes completely against my principles.

This individual has interfered in my life beyond all bounds, and now I feel compelled to remove him by any means necessary and to report his actions. I see that he's completely out of control, and something must be done about it. The days are over when I supported his dominance, when he used me and our relationship as a means to achieve stability, which is to do so at my expense. I can't allow that. I'm there to work for the company, not for him, and it's clear that I'm definitely not with him to carve out my own territory. He doesn't control me, even if it means facing every hell imaginable. Personally, I'll fight for my life, of course. I need to be with my friend. I can't let circumstances push me aside. She and I are fed up with this. What we have is very special. We had difficulties at the beginning, but that's natural. I'm tired of this guy always interfering, making us blame each other, just like that, and hiding behind the machinery of his own narrative. This is serious.

Given the recent events in my country, I didn't hesitate and took advantage of the crisis to expose this scoundrel, to reveal his true nature, desperately seeking understanding. This is a mechanism to gain favor, even at the cost of bureaucratic abuse, constantly admitting and admitting, which serves as a smokescreen, masking what one doesn't see. He is a great individual without feelings, living off others to expand his power, but his days are over, as the authorities themselves, on all sides, have betrayed him, exposing him completely. He cares about no one but himself, and he has tried to make me sympathize with him through feelings, through empathy, but personally, I have no interest whatsoever in this miserable, heartless politician who has found ways to flaunt his machismo by exploiting a woman's vulnerability, just as he did with my friend.

I understand why this is happening with his secretary, who hasn't made any effort to leave in any way. Instead, she's normalized the situation and, when push comes to shove and he's in trouble, she's looking for ways to confront him about it, revealing that she lives only for running away, without any real grounding. They aren't good people in any sense; they thrive on manipulation, on the extreme control of subjectivity, on making the world turn out the way they want, without any mercy, relying on these group games that distract him. In fact, they even find it amusing to pry into one's private life, desperately trying to steal anything that might enhance their image within the company. However, those days of support are over too, because everyone in the company openly and clearly supports my relationship with my friend, who I believe is defending us. One always sees it through the doormen or those who are always present and observing, precisely because their profession is to make receptiveness to professions possible.

I am definitely announcing with this, and proudly so, that a bad man has fallen and that he dragged his secretary down with him, because his hypocrisy is no longer believed in any way. His good intentions, support, and so on, only make us understand that what matters to them is manipulation at all costs. In fact, it was because of them that people distanced themselves from me, and I didn't realize it, but they all saw that there was indeed something about me that was out of place, and that it wasn't right to be a lover of emotions just to get something from others, but rather to become transparent, to integrate myself. I didn't want an isolated life as they intended, to the point that they tried to control my relationships with others. I really had to figure it out; it was almost spontaneous, I must say, because although it was ingenious, everything turned out to be easy for me.

It all stemmed from a routine that was itself based on another routine, one that took into account that something out of the ordinary was happening, something my boss and his secretary failed to consider. They tried to use their own tools, their own routine, to deal with me, even though I was clearly an outsider to their routine. Therefore, they refused to acknowledge they were in trouble and acted defensively. This is the problem, for them, of living in groups where normality is the imperative, not the practice. It's something many people don't see, and I think it needs to be discussed.

I don't feel comfortable around these people. Everyone rebels against them, and they don't consider any context. They live in perpetual victimhood, always aiming to perpetuate the dictatorship they created. Everything always gets out of hand, something always happens, and they live at the mercy of the fact that if it's not one specific person, then the issue is simply a matter of hiding. They live solely off their image, which is the only thing that protects them, and they attack anyone who isn't part of their circle by any means necessary, through gossip, through that string of things that justify any accident not as an accident but as intentional, precisely in their eagerness to accuse it of being entirely deliberate. They are monsters, and I can't believe I had to work with them, but well, it's out of my hands, and I am infinitely grateful for my perseverance, because, even though I didn't say it, I felt completely capable of handling them. They saw my complete trust as excessive, and it was precisely that illusion that led to their downfall. It is astonishing, without a doubt, to observe how these people smiled at their own misfortune, at their own ruin.

My friend was aiming for the same thing, from every point of view, but it all came down to setting limits, acknowledging risks, the possibility of loss, because not everything is permanent, not everything will always be there, no matter what, not everything is unconditional—well, nothing in life is unconditional, not at all. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, thanks to this spirit she manages to integrate herself even more into the community, somehow making use of our practices, based on an integration with the other, a fair establishment consisting of confronting the other, under the freedom to defend oneself. However, with others, this doesn't prove significant; instead, they become submissive out of fear of conflict, and in itself, this is leading her to become dominant in the office, of course, except with me, since she knows I can see her attempts at confrontation. Of course, it all started with me confronting her, opening myself up to appearances and falling into that consistency resulting from not accepting the denial of those appearances. She operates with others, starting from the denial of herself, as a gesture that, otherwise, if they step outside of her comfort zone, they will find themselves facing a warrior prepared to face rejection; her denial consists of the fact that such rejection does not exist, in principle, because others act in accordance with her, when it does exist, and precisely because she denies that depth that I faced.

Basically, when I was 13-17, I did alot of terrible things online such as essentially repeatedly bullying others in an attempt of "trolling", making terrible jokes against groups of people (even if most were in private places where everyone knew it was a joke) and also mentioning NSFW topics or making NSFW jokes in groups with some younger people in it, even if again, everyone there knew it was either a joke or not directed at them, and they weren't uncomfortable with it or anything. When I was 17, I kept feeling worse and worse about myself and eventually tried killing myself. I failed with that and only ended up in the hospital. Now I'm 18, I fully apologized for everything, got therapy, and even got along with some of the people I used to bully back then and even managed to do some small things to make up for what I did for a few. However, I still feel terrible that people will keep beating on me for my past and that I won't be accepted in alot of places or communities for it and it makes me wish I died so I wouldn't have to deal with my life anymore as I have a feeling I messed up my life and will eternally have my past mistakes sticking on me. This got especially bad when I read about some other people, mostly youtubers, who did what I also think was obvious jokes during an edgy phase they had and later even got therapy and fully apologized for all of it, but people still made fun of their past and it makes me afraid that the same would happen to me if I would manage to build up my popularity more. Joining one of these groups of people on youtube that make videos and stuff together was always one of my biggest dreams and now I feel like I permanently messed it up because of what I did when I was 13-17 with how unforgiving the majority of the internet is about past mistakes, even after you got help.

I moved to Europe four years ago for my graduate studies and met Tom, who is now my fiancé. Though he’s a native speaker and I'm still learning the local language, we've been inseparable. After two years of dating, we got engaged and recently moved into an apartment together. I'm still a student with a part-time job, and Tom just started working, which makes finances a bit tight. I've even had to dip into my savings to help cover his past rental debts to prevent his eviction.

Financially, we've found it hard to manage the costs of setting up our new home. Recently, a friend who works in property management advised us of a looming deadline. If Tom doesn’t formally close out his previous rental contract by August 3rd, we could face severe legal issues lasting into 2024 and lose our 1,500€ deposit. When I brought it up, Tom dismissed it, claiming he’d settled everything over email and couldn’t get a hold of the agency.

On the way home from visiting his grandparents, I mentioned it again to ensure it was really taken care of. He snapped at me, said I was meddling in affairs that didn’t concern me. I tried showing him the information I had on my phone and he just got louder, eventually yelling at me to stop talking about it. He told me I was spoiling the day and accused me of talking about things I didn't understand. Hurt, I confronted him about how he was treating me in public and walked away.

Considering how these tense moments unfolded, imagining this scenario playing out on a reality show throws an interesting light on it. The audience might be split. Some could see me as the caring partner trying to preempt a crisis, while others might view Tom’s reaction as stress-induced due to pressure. The public’s reaction might vary from empathic support to critiquing my insistence on discussing the matter then and there.

Am I wrong for insisting on discussing significant issues that impact both our futures?

dunno who else to turn to for this, so hello online community!

let's call this friend H. i consider H a very close friend of mine. we've both been in the same boarding school, and i've been friends with her for the past 3 years. we always get roomed together so that's how we eventually started bonding. but she gets in these emotional moods sometimes and tends to take her feelings out on me.

it ranges from getting mad at me for the littlest things to full on ghosting me for days straight. the most recent one was, honestly, partially my fault, but in my opinion i didn't even do anything that bad. so we were the only ones in our dorm bathroom at the time, along with two of our other friends. it was late at night and H wanted to take a shower. i wanted to scare her and pretended like my friends and i left the bathroom, so we all stayed quiet while she was showering. she did call out to us multiple times, but she was laughing and giggling so i assumed that H knew that we were still in the bathroom and was playing along with the joke.

when H opened the shower door, she was still laughing with us. it was only until we entered the dorm that she suddenly started crying, putting on her clothes aggressively and then leaving, slamming the door shut. H called her mom right after that using a public phone and began to complain and rant about my 'terrifying' joke. we haven't spoken since, because i'm not going to apologize over something that was supposed to be a joke.

other than this, H has also snapped at me at random times, and by snapping, i mean screaming at me, shouting at me, randomly crying and telling me that i was 'bullying her' even though all i did was joke about how she sometimes slept too late at night or stayed in the shower for too long. perhaps my jokes were a bit mean, but i think H didn't need to yell about how i was 'such a bitch' and how she hated me for bullying her in front of all our friends just because i commented that she woke up late that morning. if H was really bothered with my jokes, why didn't she talk to me about it instead of screaming at me for it? H also confuses me because one day, she'll join in on the jokes and laughs along too, or makes a joke about me in return (which i don't mind, of course) but the day after that she'd be telling me that i'm a terrible friend for joking about her.

not only that, H complained to all my other friends about how 'mean' i was being, and 'cried' to them (it's not really crying because there's no tears coming out of her eyes but she makes weird sobbing sounds, so) about all my cruel and evil 'jokes'. i'm tired of being her villain. H knows i have issues with arguments that involve screaming because i had a bad childhood and i prefer arguments being settled through talking and communication rather than shouting, but she still yells and screams at me and doesn't apologize when i tell her it makes me scared and i want her to communicate in a calmer way. i also have issues with tone, and i have a hard time trying to figure out her emotions and stuff, so it really makes me feel sad when she accuses me of not trying harder to understand her.

her anger issues have taken such a toll on me for the past years we've been friends. i don't know how to tell her about my feelings without ticking her off and making her cry. i don't want to seem like more of a bad person to all our other friends, and i'm tired of being her scapegoat all the time. i'm so done with her just giving me the silent treatment without even trying to talk to me about what i did that made her angry. i'm so done with her just snapping at me angrily and not apologizing for it while i have had to apologize to her thousands of times for a small, petty joke. i don't know what else to do. i don't want to lose our friendship but i also feel like if this goes on for any longer i might go crazy lol

I only tagged the story in this category because I wasn't too sure where else I could tag it in. Anyway, this story was when I was in an internship right after finishing my college days, which was already a little while ago.

For context, my mother was supposed to leave for like...5 days I think ? To see some people from our side of the family while I stayed at home with my stepdad. I noticed, while she was away, that life felt a little lighter along with me being an intern with some people that I honestly cherished a bit and had fun working with (though I did wish they'd reached out to me more because I was always the one that did first in the groupchat. Seeing that there was no communication when I wasn't the one that initiated a convo, I eventually dropped it, so there's that 🤷‍♀️). I don't know if I started reading into things a little too much and got a bit paranoid, but she came back home 2 days earlier than planned and I found it a bit weird. I think it's mainly because when she goes to visit our side of the family for 1 month, she usually stays for 1 month before coming back. She also gave me a shoulder bag that one of my aunts told her to gift to me, but since I was already using another shoulder bag that was competely fine and that I was happy with, I didn't use it.

What really got me was, when I was sleeping in my bed next to her that night (because at that time, I still had to sleep next to her in my room while my stepdad slept in theirs or vice versa), I had a dream where I was in my mother's room and having an argument with her about something. I don't remember what exactly, but at some point, she suddenly stopped and fell quiet. That's when she starts smiling at me like she was possessed by something. I was confused as fuck and concerned as hell, so I called out to her and asked her what was wrong. That's when she attacked me and got all close, so I obviously tried to get her off me. I don't remember if I just had a tug of war to get my arm back from her hold or if I was getting sucked in a spiral Junji Ito style, but I quickly told myself that I had to wake up, so I woke up. For some reason, I felt some sort of recoil upon waking up, but maybe that's really just the knee-jerk type of reaction when waking up from a nightmare.

I'm used to vivid dreams, so upon reflection, it doesn't actually scare me, but it does make me wonder what this dream could mean. I have a feeling that at least part of it, if not the entire reason for it to have happened, was because of my paranoia acting up a bit at that time. I still want to make sure to see what else it could potentially mean, so please feel free to tell me what you think. I hope y'all have a good day/night, and I'll see y'all around >3°

i love my boyfriend and that is kind of the problem, because it makes everything else more confusing than it should be. he is good to me in most normal ways. he answers my texts, he remembers small stuff, he helps me when i am stressed, and he is not some awful guy i am trying to escape from. so when i say i am not sexually satisfied, it sounds mean, like i am reducing him to one thing, but i am not trying to do that. it is just there, sitting in the room with us, even when we are eating dinner or watching tv. i do not feel wanted in the way i thought i would feel in a relationship. he says he loves me, and i believe him, but his body and his effort do not really show it much. sometimes it feels like he wants the comfort of having me around more than he wants me as a person with needs. maybe that is dramatic, maybe it is not. i have tried bringing it up without making it sound like an attack, but every time it gets weird. he gets quiet or says he is tired or says relationships are not supposed to be all about that. and sure, they are not. i agree with that. but are they supposed to have almost no passion either. am i wrong for thinking this matters. i keep asking myself that because i know people have real problems and this can sound shallow. but when you are the one laying there feeling unwanted, it does not feel shallow, it feels lonely in a very specific way.

the bad part is i do not want to leave him over this, but i also do not want to spend years pretending i am fine. i catch myself avoiding the topic now because i already know how the talk will go. he will act like i am putting pressure on him, i will feel guilty, and then nothing changes. that is the pattern. i do not even know if the issue is attraction, stress, laziness, mismatch, or just us being wrong in that one area. it is not like i need some perfect movie thing. i just want to feel like there is some desire and some care and not like i am asking for a favor. i have started feeling embarrassed for wanting more, which is probably not a good sign. i also feel bad because he is not cruel, and i know if i told people they would say to communicate, but i did, or i tried. communication is not magic when the other person hears it but does not really do anything. i guess i am writing this because i need to see it outside my head. i love him, but love is not filling the part that feels empty. maybe that makes me selfish, or maybe it just makes me honest. i do not know what the reasonable answer is here. do you stay with someone who is kind and safe but makes you feel unwanted in bed, or is that just slowly turning yourself into a bitter person. i am scared that if i stay, i will resent him. i am scared that if i go, i will regret leaving someone good for something people tell me is not everything. both things sound true, and that is what is making me feel stuck.

My boyfriend, Jeff, who's 32, and I, 27, have been in a relationship for over a year now. He had only met my parents once during last year's holidays because they live quite a bit away from us. They decided to visit this past week to see our new apartment and spend more time with Jeff since we recently moved in together.

We have a spare bedroom in our place which Jeff has set up as his gaming sanctuary, but we both agreed it would serve as the guest room whenever we have visitors. Jeff is a big fan of video games and anime; he has this vast collection of figurines and posters from various series.

Among his collection are some items like an anime body pillow with a print of a scantily clad anime girl and a mousepad featuring a voluptuous anime character. I asked him to tidy up the room and put these particular items away before my parents arrived, aiming to make them comfortable. However, I was disappointed to find he hadn’t shifted the pillow or the mousepad.

I’m personally not very keen on those items, but since he's passionate about anime, I haven't made a big deal about it before. Though with my parents visiting, I believed those items weren't suitable for their stay. I discreetly removed the pillowcase and concealed the body pillow in the closet, and hid the mousepad in our bedroom drawer.

Upon their arrival, my parents were shown to their room, and later, Jeff noticed the changes. That night, he addressed the issue, challenging why I hid them. I explained that it was to ensure my parents’ comfort. He was clearly upset and felt that I was embarrassed by his interests in anime, accusing me of reacting like everyone else who had judged him over the years.

The following day, he began packing away his manga books from our living room. He defended his actions by suggesting he was safeguarding me from discomfort. This whole episode has been distressing; he's withdrawn and barely interacts with my folks. They sense something's off and keep questioning me, leaving me grappling with what to explain.

I'm torn; my intent wasn’t to hurt him but to manage the situation thoughtfully. Now, Jeff's feelings are hurt, and it has created a cold tension during what was supposed to be a happy family visit.

If this conflict was a segment on a reality TV show, the reactions would probably be explosively divided. Viewers might side with my protective nature regarding my parents' comfort, while others could argue that I should embrace Jeff's interests openly, regardless of the visit. Reality shows thrive on such drama, often amplifying the emotional stakes with dramatic music and cliffhanger cuts, possibly making the situation appear even more intense than it actually is. I can just imagine the online polls and social media buzz it would generate, questioning the balance between personal interests and respect towards one's partner.

Should I have respected my partner's interests more?

Soo.. I'm gonna be on my last yeah of hs this year. And the pressure is high.

So growing up i've been getting average and sometimes higher than average grades. In my country although 75 is considered passing in special science schools 85 is the passing grade, with 90 being the average and therefore the grade every student sought after including myself.

90-93 has been my consistent grades throughout elementary, my mother didn't really push me to study because as she said I was smart enough that I only need to listen to the lesson and be good to go. And it worked at first.

Entering Highschool I didn't really have to learn to study because well it was online and I just searched up the answers. By 9th grade when we had our first face2face I barely got 90. It didn't serve as a wakeup call, nore did 10 grade when I graduated with 91%. At senior high, in the first semester midterms, they gave us the grades we got. i got 88%.

Still passing I know, but my parents, my mother especially, started this whole thing.

For context my sister is in college, tuition is barley covered and my dad works his own business that isn't getting much customers. Although my sister got a scholarship that gives her free tuition, the school was too far my sister would have to live with my grandma. Which made my dad worry about her health, i don't really get the reason.

So now it's my responsibility to get a good scholarship. My parents are ok with sending me to that same school they didn't want my sister to go to because 'I can handle myself'. But still since my 88% I've been pressured to get better grades. After a shit ton of studying I got 92%in my first sem grade. With my second sem being 96%, mostly with the help of joining a contest which the training lasted the whole first half of the second semester's midterm, then a big dance contest against other schools that got me pulled out of class and me and the other dancers got a grade no lesser than the previous. So because I got 96 in my previous I also got 96 if you got what I mean.

Anyways I understand why my parents are stressing over college, sending two daughters would not be possible with my dad's income. But I kinda blame my dad for not sending my sister there.

Idk, im already looking through scholarships on different school, started studying now too. But i also dont like that I'm reminded everyday that if I dont get a good scholarship one of us would not be able to go to college at all. Suddenly I want to go to school agshahahhahah