Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm in the year before university and it's clearly the most important year. I'm not doing extremely badly, but it's exam week and I'm under so much stress that I just want to cry and not even study.

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

HELLO everyone, I came to France with my family it’s been one year and some months, then I started school in seconde (10th grade) in a local high school and I had to repeat the year. In my second year my life became like a nightmare for me. My high school kicked me out because I had asked classmates for bank cards and money. In my second high school I cheated twice, I no longer have the right to go to school while waiting for the school to give me a final decision. My parents say that if I am expelled they will no longer pay for my school and will find me a job, but I want to continue school; I am at my limit, am I the bad seed in my family? The worst is that I live with my stepfather, and my mother asks if I came to France to destroy her household???!!! I am crying 😢 😢 I am sick of everything.

Ive been with him for 4 years we have a 2 year old , in the relationship its he who controls and decides, since im 5-6 years younger he said i dont know about life, when we fight its always me fault, if im hurt by his actions i get screamed at for stressing him with stupid stuff. If i buy something i have to run it by him but if i dont but something i new we needed i get screamed at as well, when we fight he make me sit in front of him while he insults be and has me crying for hours , im not allowed to leave that spot or i get kicked out of our apt , sometimes he will just go off and as soon as he is done he eats or sleep then apologizes but it had gotten better since i got a better paying job , and i just go let go 2 weeks before Christmas, the first day he was supportive but buy day 4-5 he been horrible saying i ruined Christmas, he has ignored me for the last week and Christmas Eve, he just gives me nasty looks , and today Christmas, he says i should be gone that i ruined his life , i know what everyone is gonna say , Leave but i have no where , i have no family no dad no mom , i have no friends, my last friends my boyfriend said they weren’t gonna amount to anything and i had to leave him and in my jobs he tell me there not friends that there coworkers and to not share anything about our relationship even tho he come home telling his coworkers tell him to leave me . He is very money oriented , me im not i just try to push hoping money will ease his hate towards me . Any intimacy stoped when my daughter was born cause he gained so much weight that his back give out and will be bed ridden for day , also this weight gained is my fault come if we have any type of snack or bad food he will eat it cause he has no self control and is something i should already know, so here i am Christmas Day crying alone with my 2 year old while he sleeps , i dont even want to eat or sleep cause with no money comming in from my side i feel no lt entitled to anything. Also he would let me get just any job he want it something in the field i studied and geting a job in that field is really hard took me 4 months to land a for the first time.

Does anyone remember this? https://iiwiars.com/spiritual-journey-stories/i-hate-this

Yeah, update now.

Can't you see those teachers can be petty?! I bet my shitty idiotic dance teacher only said that to mom because he felt pity. Fuck pity! I'm not as weak as you think, bastard cunt! And those kids may be tired, but the more they know me, the more comfortable they'll get conspiring I'm a horrible dancer and laugh in some competition, if I'll even get in one! I'll pretend to not give it my all, it's better than GARBAGE any day. He's lying to my face to sound like a nice guy and it's not working. He may say I did well for a beginner in an advanced tier, but I don't believe in beginner's luck or any good luck. My scheme will work. I'll just not try and he'll kick me out. I can do a half-ass job and call it a day, and then week, then a month, until he thinks I don't care and he suggests I leave. Good idea, since people are untrustworthy "species". He may say good, I smell "I'm saying this to drain money from your slut mother". Not so fast, liar cheat! You yourself said I'm allowed to not care! If I could burn the school, the music place, and my classmates, I would. And I'd salt the Earth away for extra measure and reside on Mars, if aliens do exist. But I can't. I just wish life was still and I was more free.

I went to the class and unfortunately put effort. I obviously wasn't matching the kids and they somehow didn't laugh, but it makes me more suspicious. More suspicious they weren't laughing because they thought I was bad and wanted to laugh, but didn't for respect. I told it to my brother earlier, and he said, "They won't! I see grown adults come in piano class and they can't even play Merry Had A Little Lamb, and I don't laugh because I know they'll get there!" You're 11, you haven't felt the worst feelings yet. Instead, that teacher was again nice to me and being a bit silly to his older students, and saying they were all like me when they started. What bullshit, they wanted to be here, I said yes because mom insisted, and she's a fugly rat for that! Very FUGLY! FUCKING UGLY!! She wanted to set me up for failure! She wants to see me become my worst self! I feel more clearer now, more than I ever did. The world is a planet of smog and salt, the people are monsters of Hell, me and the minority the survivors. I may feel a pull where if I do something I enjoy I feel kinder and sweeter, but that's the girl I hate being. I hate switching to that weak version of me, I want her to go away, shed off. She's weak and dumb. Do you not see the pissy world I live in? I have to fight for my life, until I die. You say yourself no one's good here. I don't feel weak like those witch doctors say "stress" does, I feel stronger, godly. Kindness and being nice, even feeling nice and regretting hurting others, it's my weakness from me. I need to improve that and not feel it. Nice people are a lie. No one is genuinely sweet, they're all doing it to seem nice, when really they haven't awakened their innermost selves, the true "disgusting" selves. I need to learn how to shed my outer fake self, the me I hate being who loves family, who likes science and history, who likes art, who likes cheesecake, it's a fake society-created shell. I wish I could talk to her to tell her to fuck off. I'm regressing, into my weakest form!

I live in a 6 story apartment. I mostly keep to myself, I'm a sorta shy guy. I've sort of chatted with her, and she's super sweet. Like, and she's just gorgeous. The most adorable smile. I haven't really dated much the past few years, I've been on that grind, and caring for a relative. Now I find myself feeling a crush coming along and I swear, I saw to her today, a lovely dress, and my heart leapt bro good God have mercy

so, here's the thing, my brother and i have this classic sibling rivalry that honestly feels like it's straight out of every cliche sitcom ever. he's got this knack for tearing down whatever small accomplishments i manage to muster, and then somehow, he flips the whole scenario around like he's doing some circus trick. it's kinda like "hey, there buddy, i was just being tough on you to make you stronger"...when in fact, his words just sting, you know? 🤷‍♂️ i mean, we've all been there, trying to find that delicate balance between accepting sibling criticism as "constructive" and realizing it's just mean-spirited jabs dipped in sarcasm. sometimes i wonder if he's ever taken the time to be a bit more gentle with his words, especially knowing that i'm, well, still figuring things out.

let's paint a more clear picture; it's sunday brunch... our family tradition, right? the plan's always like, grab a plate and spill some tea. today, however, just as i'm reminiscing with my folks about how well my recent soccer game went, the guy leans back, smirking, and tosses in this zinger, "yeah, if only the other team had scored as much as your footprints on the field, maybe they'd have bought you lunch!" sure, maybe it sounds amusing, but there's always this underlying tone that transcends playful banter into the realm of something a bit harsher. ever hear the theory that siblings push buttons no one else knows exist? that's us in a nutshell, except he seems to have installed a new set of buttons altogether! why is it so difficult for him to understand the concept of cheerleading instead of constantly acting like a comedian at my expense?

still, amidst all this chaos, i've decided not just to endure but to try and redefine our dynamic. instead of falling into the pitfall of dramatics, i figured, why not spin his antics positively, kind of like killing him with kindness, as they say. maybe i could even subtly emulate the ancient stoic practice; you know, focusing on controlling my reaction to his remarks rather than expecting his behavior to change overnight. and, who knows? maybe one day, he'll realize that sometimes, the loudest applause for a sibling is a quiet word of support rather than a clever quip. ever feel like you’re in a one-way sibling telepathy session? 'cause i sure do, always hoping for that lightbulb moment. perhaps there's a book or a podcast out there? like "sibling diplomacy: a guide to cultivating camaraderie?" i'm game for suggestions if anyone's got them!..

I feel like my husband no longer finds me sexually attractive. :( We made love for the first time in like 6 days today. He never orgasms to me anymore unless I give him head. He only fucked me for like 3 minutes & wasn’t nearly as hard as he has been when we first met & he didn’t orgasm. Honestly everytime I sleep with him these days I just feel so shitty about myself afterwords. I feel like I am no longer what he wants sexually. There has been times in the past I have caught him sexting with other women. Getting very hard & cumming to PICTURES RANDOM WOMEN ARE SENDING ON SNAPCHAT…. But he can’t cum to his wife while he’s literally inside me? Basically the only foreplay we ever do is me sucking him off. He never returns the favor. He doesn’t really show my body love like I want him to. I don’t even remember the last time he said my body looked beautiful. I’m a big girl and I was recently scrolling through his X (Twitter) likes on his phone & he swears up nd down he loves big girls (which in the past his likes were all big girls, but now all his porn liked on X are small girls.) If he was sexually attracted to me he would get hard & cum…. He would want to make love rather than just putting it in me for 3 mins and calling it good. There was no kissing, no caressing, no dirty talk, no moaning on his side, no orgasm. Nothing. And I am they type person who likes to be very sexually active. If it was lift to me we’d be having sex like twice a day. I just feel really shitty about myself & needed to rant. Any opinions on this?

I'm 22, a guy. I've had 5 proper friendships in my life.

First and second one in school, after I moved states. They lasted around 10 years until I got into a relationship. They hated my boyfriend, so I got ghosted and blocked everywhere.

Third was a girl in the city i live in now, after I moved out from my parent's house. We got along until she got more and more toxic. She was 18 at the time, she acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Insulted, bullied and humiliated others. I quit that frie4ndship. She stalked me for 9 months.

Fourth was with an ex of mine, after a year of being apart we got to talk again. He's a nice guy. I adore him, in a very platonic way. He's been ghosting me for 2 months now for no reason.

Last one just broke apart today. A friend of 6 years told me about his struggles. I've been there for him for weeks now since he was feeling bad, but i ran out of tips and tricks. Ran out of solutions, so i simply suggested he'd go back to his therapist, that's what she's there for after all. He ignored me for the day and then started insulting me, calling me names, and much worse. I blocked him.

22 years. and not a single lasting friendship because all people turn out to hate me, ghost me or be toxic. I'm giving up on friendship.

Cooking has always been a passion of mine, and every evening I prepare meals with love for myself, my husband, and our little boy, who's just turned four. Most nights, the kitchen is bustling but manageable—it's a few pots, a couple of utensils, and a chopping board that get the most use.

We all enjoy the meal together, and afterward, my son and I take care of our plates by rinsing and loading them into the dishwasher. However, the bulk of the cleanup, with all the cookware and mess, usually falls to me. I've attempted to discuss this inequity with my husband, hoping he’d understand and maybe pitch in. He responded by suggesting that since I created the mess, it was my responsibility to clean it up. Frustrated, I didn’t press the matter further. In protest, the following night I only cooked for myself and our son, leaving nothing for my husband. When he expressed his confusion, I explained that if he wasn’t willing to contribute to the mealtime effort by helping clean up, then he should be responsible for his own dinner. I viewed this as completely justified—if he expects me to manage both the cooking and cleaning, he can certainly handle preparing his own meals.

If this situation unfolded on a reality show, the scene could escalate dramatically, with audiences glued to their screens, eager to see how such a household dispute plays out. Viewers might sympathize with my stance, cheering on my act of defiance, or they could critique it as too harsh, debating the dynamics of fairness and shared responsibilities in marriage. Reality TV thrives on such moments of conflict and resolution, making this an episode viewers wouldn't want to miss.

I've been thinking a lot about why people hang up on others during phone calls. It's such an intriguing psychological phenomenon, isn't it? Some say it's a power move, while others believe it's a desperate attempt to avoid confrontation. I'm not sure exactly where I fall on this spectrum, but I can't help but wonder what drives someone to just...cut the connection like that? Maybe there's something deeper at play here!

I came across this article that mentioned the 'fight or flight' response being triggered, leading us to disconnect rather abruptly. Could it be that hanging up is actually some kind of instinctual defense mechanism? Perhaps we're subconsciously trying to protect ourselves from emotional distress by ending the conversation prematurely. Or maybe we believe we're preserving our dignity? These are questions I've been struggling with lately.

There's also the aspect of social conditioning! We've grown up in a world where communication has become instantaneous and often overwhelming. Is it possible that hanging up signifies an overwhelming sense of anxiety driven by societal pressure? The way we communicate has evolved so rapidly...maybe it's our brains trying to adapt to these changes. With instant messaging, social media, and ever-present connectivity, could hanging up be an outdated form of asserting control when overwhelmed?

Now don't get me wrong—I'm not condoning rude behavior! But understanding this reaction from a psychological perspective might help us approach situations with empathy and compassion next time someone hangs up on us unexpectedly. Maybe they just needed space or felt cornered in that moment. I guess what I'm really saying is: let's try not to take it personally! 😊

Growing up, I always sensed a strange tension in my family, but I never quite understood it until I pieced together old memories and stories told by relatives. My mother, who had always dreamed of having a household bustling with daughters, was disheartened at my birth purely because of my gender. I am a 16-year-old male, the unintentional foil to her fantasies. It was evident from day one; she wept in the hospital when she learned I was a boy, even momentarily resisted holding me. All of this was inadvertently recorded and it's painful to watch. During those first crucial days, it was my paternal grandmother who stepped up to nurture me, featured in most of my early baby pictures cradling me in her arms.

My grandmother essentially raised me until she tragically passed away from a brain bleed when I was eight. After that, I was left in the care of a mother who had finally received her wish—a daughter, my younger sister Lily, born two years after me. The difference in treatment between us was like night and day. Lily became the center of my mother's world: the bigger room, elaborate birthday celebrations, and a mountain of Christmas presents exclusively for her—sometimes as many as 25 gifts sourced from my mom alone, while I would receive a solitary, often lackluster, present.

Interaction between my mom and myself dwindled to the bare minimum and often flared into arguments fueled by years of pent-up frustration and neglect. My father, who played the traditional role of the aloof provider, rarely intervened or even noticed the palpable disparity in affection and attention.

During a recent family gathering at my maternal grandparents' home, Mom couldn't stop lauding Lily for a school project and bragging about the new scooter she bought her, along with a custom helmet and a personalized lock. Unable to hold it in any longer, I let my feelings be heard. I openly criticized her for her blatant favoritism, which only led to a scolding from my grandparents. They described my issues with my mom as "little troubles" stemming from her initial gender disappointment and labeled my outburst as a lack of compassion.

Imagine if my situation was played out on a reality show. Cameras capturing my mother's enthusiastic pampering of Lily contrasted sharply with her mechanical interactions with me. Would the audience empathize with my feelings of exclusion and neglect, or would they criticize me for antagonizing a clearly biased mother? How dramatic and telling those episodes would be, highlighting the raw emotions and complex dynamics of our family life.

Would viewers at home understand the strain of being less favored merely because of gender, or would they side with my mother, assuming I should simply get over it and show more understanding?

Hubby and I are from different countries/cultures.

We ended up moving to Australia before Covid struck 😒 we eventually settled in and life moved on around the world. My in-laws all live in one area. Hubby and I settled nearby and everything was fine. The kids love their grandparents and they are good to me.

However…

I miss my parents so much. I am an only child and my babies are their only grandbabies. It breaks my heart. But hubby is good to me and supports us well. In-laws are good to me too. Just the culture differences get to me sometimes. In-laws have other grandchildren nearby. They are “well off” so they tend to live their lives separate from their children. That’s fine. I’m used to family in your face everyday lol.

The thing that bothers me is they will pass on spending time with their grandkids just because. They want to shop or go out for dinner on their own. We have invited them over and they will refuse without a reason. I’m aghast because I know my parents would kill to spend everyday with their grandbabies!!

I know I can’t change anything. I hate it’s so expensive to fly to Australia! I hate my parents are not well off and can’t afford to visit! They’ve come once and are saving up to come again. Hubby and I have even told them we can help a bit. My dad has offered to send my mom on her own just to save money. I hate that for them! I want them to be next door and my babies see them everyday and be loved so much by two more people! My parents are one of the best in the world! They are so wonderful and sacrificial! They deserve the world and especially their only grandbabies to be nearby to hug and kiss and love on them all day everyday!!!!

Two years ago, we moved about 300 miles away. It sucked for me because now we are not near family. In-laws have come to visit once. Once! In two years. Again, I can’t believe it. They can afford to travel but choose not to. My parents would give anything to see us once every two years! I’m trying to respect their decisions but can’t help think of my parents. I get so upset with my in-laws in my mind. I guess that’s how they stay “well off”, don’t spend too much money. It just annoys me for the kids. They deserve loving grandparents nearby 💔

This morning, I had a weird feeling I can't really explain.

It started as how any usual day starts for me: excruciating mental pain. For the first half of the day, I thought I was done for, just like always. I remembered how much I was harassed and how ugly it got, and I thought I was gonna get found by the person who ultimately ruined my entire life in just one day. I'm pretty sure I said parts of what I can actually say in previous posts, but long story short I was completely done with my goals. I gave up, giving AI little of what was left of my creativity just to see if I can get that old spark back (which is a mistake, but I had zero resource and I was in a block).

Today, however, I felt something different after the second half of the day. I was scrolling through channels trying to crunch down another boring samey Sunday, until I landed on a movie about experiencing the joys of life. It ignited something on me; I looked around my living room, no shortage of something I'm good at: collecting Nintendo controllers specifically. In my living room alone, I found a cyan Wii Remote, a golden Classic Controller Pro, and my NSO 2 GameCube Controller. I looked at my trampoline and at all the free space in my house, and I thought about how much I love to run and exercise freely. I thought about my tastes in food and realized how unique they were--I might hate white condiments, but I love well-prepared anchovy pizza and pineapple pizza, I love drinking frozen matcha and eating loaded potato soup. I sat for a little longer and all of a sudden, I saw a vision of a character sitting beside me like if they were alive. Suddenly, I felt like I really wanted to go to the mall and let myself loose--find out what kinds of stores it had, how many stories, what where the anchors, what was at the food court, playing at a Dave & Busters, just overall letting myself loose and seeing the very appealing design that was the inside of a mall. This interest wasn't just an obligation to keep me stimulated; it was an actual call to return to my old self. I saw the similarities between my favorite (drawing) artists, and I stopped feeling anxious, even if some of these still make me go WTF. I acknowledged that despite their damning similarities, they each bring something new to the table and keeping me to innovate and do the same: follow the same footsteps but bring something new to the table. I even felt like coming up with a plan to start over with my art, presumably just in time for next year's ArtFight.

There's one problem though. I've had similar breakthroughs before, and I don't know how to keep the newfound spark. I'm enrolled in some coding classes that really frustrated me and completely broke on me and I'm pretty sure I failed the assignment because it's past the deadline and the whole program was straight up broken in the professor's end. It got me super mad, and it even blocked my creativity. My spark can easily just disappear.

So I have a question: what would you guys do to keep the spark alive? I do indeed have a plan to redefine what my creativity truly means, but what if more frustrating coding assignments ruin everything for this spark and leave me right where I got started once again?

i dont even know what i did wrong to make people hate me this much, like fr i wake up every morning already feelin sick cause i know what’s waiting for me at school, it’s like a warzone where i never get to win, i walk in and people already lookin at me like i’m some kind of freak or like i don’t belong there, nd maybe i don’t idk, maybe i’m just weird or my face looks dumb or i wear the wrong shoes or whatever stupid reason they decide is enough to mess with me every day, they say stuff under their breath when i pass by, throw little pieces of paper at me in class, call me names like loser, creep, sometimes worse and the teachers don’t even do anything about it, they just say “ignore them” like that’s gonna make it stop, like i haven’t tried that a thousand times already, and the worst part is that it’s not just random kids, some of them i used to be friends with in middle school and now they act like i’m trash, like they’d rather die than be seen talkin to me, nd it hurts so bad cause i didn’t change, they did, or maybe i changed and i just didn’t realize it, i try not to cry but sometimes i do when i get home, and even then i hide it cause my parents don’t get it either, they just say stuff like “it builds character” or “they’re jealous” but jealous of what??? i got no friends, no style, no confidence, i eat lunch alone in the corner of the cafeteria hoping no one notices me cause the last time someone did they dumped ketchup on my backpack and laughed like it was the funniest thing ever, nd i had to pretend it didn’t matter even though it totally did, like everything they do chips away at me little by little and i’m tired of pretending it’s fine, cause it’s not, and the worst part is when i try to act normal or be nice people just laugh harder, like they can smell the desperation or somethin, and i just wanna scream why are people so mean to me, what did i ever do to deserve this, i try to keep my head down, i don’t start stuff, i just wanna survive school without feeling like garbage every day, but apparently that’s too much to ask, nd sometimes i think about just disappearing, like not dying or anything extreme just… not existing for a while, like vanishing until people forget i was ever there cause at least then i wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore, like maybe in another school or another life i’d be normal and ppl wouldn’t hate me for no reason, but right now i just feel broken, like everything i do is wrong and no one wants me around, and idk how long i can keep acting like i’m ok when i’m clearly not.

I’m a theory year old female and I have what I call a best lesbian (best friend lesbian). She cute and all and I think females in general are nice looking and I find attraction to many of them. But I’m not interested in anything further. I don’t feel the same pull for physical contact with females (give or take) that I do with males. But I have found over the years that I find more and more women beautiful. I’ve even stared at a few butts. Is there a label for me?? I think I’m still heterosexual but I’m not denying myself.