Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Friends, I feel deeply outraged at my community. How is it possible that the spirit of speaking out is not embraced? How can a society exist where wrongdoing is approved, accepted, and even—supposedly—tolerated? I am furious.

In my own home, speaking out was not allowed. Once, I reported my mother, and my father retaliated while my mother punished me. What kind of mother does that? She does bad things and then doesn’t want to be held accountable—instead, she conditions everything so she won't be called out? So that she’s protected and coddled? What kind of mother is that?

Tell me—what kind of mother encourages wrongdoing? When I saw that kind of behavior at home, it was the moment I realized things were very, very wrong. At first, I stayed quiet because I was confused about what “normal” parenting looked like. I thought violence, especially within the family, was somehow acceptable or even expected. But all I was doing was walking right into a dead-end that usually ended in a beating—just for reacting in ways they didn’t like.

Yes, maybe I responded harshly or impulsively as a kid—and I’m not trying to justify it—but today I understand those reactions were, in fact, justified. My parents were authoritarian. How the hell wasn’t I going to push back when I was trapped in their home during their toxic marriage? It made no sense to demand peace when their very demand was a gateway to more abuse. Their expectations were completely unfair. Completely.

When I finally realized all this, it hit me hard. For over 15 years, I carried the guilt of believing I had been the problem. But the truth is, I was just seeing myself through a lens of indifference—a reality where I wasn’t treated like a person, but like a toy they could manipulate however they wanted. I didn't even notice that I was being dehumanized. That’s why I developed such an emotionally distant way of being, isolating myself from others without understanding why.

In the end, that kind of upbringing—where reporting abuse was forbidden, and empathy was absent—destroyed my social life. People started drifting away from me, to the point where they’d only reach out when they really needed something. That was the only way anyone socialized with me, and I went along with it—just because I craved any interaction at all. I remember pointing this out to a friend once. I honestly feel like crying: an entire life thrown away because of those two core wounds.

I used to ask myself why everything at home was like that, and my parents would just tie me up in excuses, shaped by deeply broken identities. I’m scared to even express this—I’ve been censored before, especially for saying things like this on that other platform. But the truth is, what they called “help” turned into a sad form of isolation. And it makes me think of a doctor I once saw—her behavior seemed odd, almost abrupt in how she reacted. I get the feeling I might have unknowingly hurt her somehow... though maybe that’s just in my head. I don’t know where this conflicting emotion comes from.

All of this got reinforced by the biases I inherited from my family environment. I was completely lost back then—disconnected from reality, and I didn’t even realize it. How could this have happened to me? It tainted my elementary years, high school, and university, leaving me with almost no friends by the end of it all. That hurts. Because it wasn’t my fault—it was my parents’.

No wonder I’m so angry about what I said about my community.

I am 22 and I have a friend, Lauren, who really celebrates her birthday in a big way every year, which is totally fine by me. However, when we both turned 21 last year, she organized a trip to Florida with several of our close friends. I chose not to go because the trip centered heavily on bar-hopping and alcohol, which isn't really my thing. Not only do I generally avoid alcohol, but I also thought it was impractical to spend on a trip mainly for drinking, especially since it conflicted with my college schedule. The trip was planned for a time when I would need to keep up with schoolwork and miss several classes. The plan was to stay at an Airbnb and basically party – something I’m usually not excited about. I’m not judging anyone for enjoying a relaxed vacation that involves drinking; it's just not for me. Moreover, spending $500-900 on something I wouldn't enjoy didn't seem right.

I kindly turned down the invitation, but it didn’t go over well with Lauren. She later expressed disappointment, suggesting that by not joining the trip, I wasn’t supporting her or fully participating in her birthday celebration. On her actual birthday, I did celebrate with her and even gave her gifts. Lauren implied that I wasn’t being a truly supportive friend, arguing that if the roles were reversed, she would have joined the trip simply to be there for me, regardless of the setting. She also pointed out that since my boyfriend and I managed a vacation recently, I should be able to make an exception for her. Moreover, she even offered to pay for my trip, insisting that there were no valid reasons for my absence. However, the truth is the appeal was just not there for me—adding to my dislike of the heavy drinking and sports watching that I knew would dominate the vacation.

When my boyfriend and I went away to Disney for a week during my winter break, the holiday was different. We planned the entire trip, involved zero alcohol or clubbing, and focused on activities we both enjoy. This contrasts sharply with Lauren's spontaneous and loosely planned trip style, which I find stressful. But why must I even justify my travel choices to her?

Looking ahead to 2024, Lauren seems to be planning another similar celebration in Florida for her birthday. I am likely to be invited but have already decided against going. I’m okay with the boundaries I’ve set, even if she isn't.

If this situation played out on a reality TV show, I can imagine the dramatic music and cutaway interviews where everyone weighs in on my decision. There would likely be lots of opinions, with some calling me unsupportive and others applauding me for sticking to my guns and setting healthy boundaries. The tension would certainly be highlighted, and viewers would probably be split on my decision.

Should I go on the Florida trip to support my friend?

You don’t really know it’s toxic when you’re a kid. It’s just your normal. You think everyone’s house is like this, that every kid walks on eggshells, trying not to set someone off. That it’s normal to feel your stomach drop when you hear a car pull in the driveway. That it’s just how things are when conversations go from 0 to screaming in seconds. But then you grow up, and you start seeing things differently. You hear your friends talk about their parents, the way they support them, how they actually listen when they have a problem, and it hits you—your childhood was not normal. It was not okay. And suddenly, everything you tried to ignorre, to downplay, to make excuses for, comes rushing back.

One of the biggest signs you grew up in a toxic family? You don’t know how to take a compliment. When someone says something nice about you, your first instinct is to brush it off, to laugh awkwardly, to assume they’re just being polite. Because you spent years being told you weren’t enough. Not smart enough, not good enough, not anything enough. And now, even when you know better, it’s like your brain refuses to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re actually worth something. Instead, you’re always waiting for the but. The insult that follows the rare compliment. "You did well on that test, but don’t get cocky." "You look nice today, but too bad you don’t dress like that all the time." So when someone is genuinely kind to you, you feel uncomfortable. Like it’s a trick. Like love and approval are things you have to earn, not just something you get for existing.

Another sign? You apologize. Constantly. For everything. Even thiings that aren’t your fault. You say sorry when someone bumps into you. You say sorry when you ask a question, when you talk too much, when you take up space. Because growing up, you learned that the smallest mistake could set someone off, that your feelings weren’t valid unless they were convenient for everyone else. So you learned to shrink yourself. To be small. To be invisible. And now, even when no one is mad at you, you still feel like you’re in trouble. Like at any moment, someone’s going to yell, to criticize, to make you feel like a burden. And the worst part? Half the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. It’s just who you are now.

And then there’s trust. Or, well, lack of it. Because when the people who were supposed to protect you, love you, make you feel safe, were the same ones who hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you… how are you supposed to just trust anyone? How are you supposed to believe people mean what they say, that they won’t turn on you the second you let your guard down? You don’t. Instead, you assume everyone has a hidden agenda. That every act of kindness has a cost. That no one stays, not really. And so, you keep your distance. You let people in just enough to not be alone, but never enough that they could actually hurt you. And maybe one day, you’ll learn how to unlearn all of this. How to stop waiting for the worst to happen. How to believe that love doesn’t have to be painful. But right now? Right now, you’re just trying to get through the day without feeling like you’re still stuck in a house you left years ago. 😓

This summer, a gang of twelve friends, including myself, decided to spend our vacation together by renting a spacious house. I was tasked with the collection of the rental fees so I could secure our accommodation. While several friends promptly paid their share, others procrastinated or completely dodged my requests.

Due to the delay in payments, the initial house we had set our eyes on was taken by someone else because I couldn't make the deposit in time. Scrambling to find an alternative, I stumbled upon another vacation home. It was equally appealing but could only accommodate eight people. Since I only had the funds that were given to me, I went ahead and booked it.

Weeks passed, and suddenly the remaining four friends were ready to contribute financially. I explained that the original choice was no longer available and that we'd settled for a smaller place. I suggested that we could make use of extra inflatable mattresses to accommodate everyone. They were not pleased, insisting that if they were paying full price, they deserved their own rooms. I pointed out that everyone was paying the full rate and it was only fair that we share the available spaces.

This resulted in two of them backing out of the trip altogether, while the other two decided to book a room in a hotel roughly 30 minutes away from where we would be staying. Needless to say, they weren't happy about the switched plans which I admittedly settled without their immediate input.

The rest of the group, seven to be precise, were perfectly content with the arrangements.

Honestly, I can’t help but feel conflicted. Was I wrong here? It seems logical to me that plans had to shift given the circumstances.

Imagine this scenario being played out in a reality TV show format. The tensions and drama unfolding around the decision-making and accommodations might actually boost viewer ratings. Cameras could capture the heated discussions, the moment of booking mishap, and even the reactions of the group as they navigate this less than ideal situation. It would be intriguing to see the broader audience reaction, whether they would side with the planner facing a tough situation or sympathize with those who felt slighted.

I'm curious, if I were on a reality show, would the viewers think I handled the situation fairly?

Honestly, I'm just thinking about all my past decisions and how the people back then have affected me. And I thought to myself, you know, Joy and Denise are an amazing idea of toxic friends! (Joy and Denise are not their real names.) And like honestly, I dont remember all the details but I do remember the very important parts of this story. At the time, I've been friends with them for around 2 years, and Joy and Denise were very weird. Like they were pretty popular and like I now remember this, they were quite racist to me. (Mind you I'm Asian) And since like anime is from Asia so their whole ideal and sterotype of me was that I was a big time anime nerd (which I was but it was very intense as how they described it) And so basically, they would always doing imitation of each other, which they would always do weird anime poses, (which I didnt even do) so yeah. Also Joy's mom was racist to me, when she took Joy's phone, I was texting her. Her mom would always call me Chinese (which I am not just so yall know) And I would correct her because I felt like it was the best thing to do. She then still proceeds to call me Chinese. Oh and for the next experience, (TW: sexual harassment + rape jokes) So I was walking inside of the bathroom with them and then I went to go pee, as a normal person would do. They then climbed over the stalls and look at me pee. Literally. And then they would start making fun of me, asking why my pee was so yellow, how my ass was so white/pale. I had told them to stop look at me so I can go wipe. They closed their eyes for a moment and then proceeded to look at my ass and making fun of me. This also happened then I left the friend group for my own good and they would make fun of me around my new friends, in which they pitied me. Oh! and they would also force me to do weird things, like forcing me to twerk? Like honestly I actually hate myself for letting them guilt-trip into doing something that will be the top 10 most embarrassing things in my life. Oh and now currently, I'm sort of dealing with something bad as one of my friends, (who I honestly dont want to be friends with) We're going to call her Isa, Isa likes to um...slap my ass and then proceed to try to shove her finger up my ass and makes rape jokes, talking about how she was doing to "booty rape me" which I find quite uncomfortable from my trauma with Joy and Denise, but I think I think I will talk about Isa in a different story!

One of my closest friends, also 27, is tying the knot later this year. She asked me to be her bridesmaid towards the end of the previous year, and I was thrilled to accept, though I did not anticipate the demands that would come with this role.

She scheduled her bachelorette bash over a holiday weekend in Nashville, resulting in higher costs due to surge pricing. Here's a breakdown of the expenses we faced for that event:

- Flight: $500

- Accommodation: $350

- Themed outfits: $100

- Meals and drinks: $200

- Gift for the bride: $50

When I saw these figures, I regretfully informed the bride that I couldn't afford to participate in the bachelorette party. This decision met with some disappointment from her side, but my finances simply didn’t allow for such expenditures.

Now, as the wedding approaches, there’s a new list of expenses each bridesmaid must cover:

- Bridesmaid dress: $180

- Professional hair and makeup: $230

- Professional manicure: $120

- Hotel for the wedding night: $400

- Shoes: $60

- Flight to the wedding venue: $360

With these costs piling up, I find myself at a crossroads. The standards set by my friend seem excessively high. Furthermore, her recent email outlining the costs for our outfits and beauty services carried a tone suggesting we should prioritize her needs, which left me frustrated. I'm torn between feeling like a frugal friend and an exploited one. Additionally, two other bridesmaids have confided in me, expressing their own concerns regarding the expenses.

Honestly, how would this situation play out if it were part of a reality show? Would viewers sympathize with the financial strain we bridesmaids are facing, or would they criticize us for not fully committing to our friend’s special day? It seems as though the drama surrounding this could very well turn into prime reality TV material, sparking debates about the real costs of being a part of a wedding party.

I'm truly uncertain about how to address these mounting concerns without causing a rift. Any advice would certainly be appreciated.

i've never been more alone than before. my social circle has been getting smaller and smaller over the years. i recently got into a fight/discussion with one of my two only friends which i also had a situationship and i'll likely never ever going to talk to him again (he was venting to me about a situation and i was too sincere about that and plainly mean, i accept the fact it's purely my fault). i've been really angry about that and it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked, I don't ever want to see him again really because even if i was mean, he didn't thought about my feelings since he literally abandoned me at my worst and he knew it, but i miss him... i miss him so much.

the other one doesn't talks to me nor reply to my messages, i've known her for like 7-8 years, we have always been great friends, but something i feel it's that i need her more than she needs me, and we both know it, and the only reason they have been my friend for so long it's because she doesn't wants to hurt me and make me commit suicide (i had attempts before, and she was there for me at those times and she was kinda the only reason I didn't). i've been growing paranoid about this, I don't want to get fully alone and I haven't talked to anyone at all for like 2 days straight. i feel that nobody has ever liked me at all. i feel desperate, so desperate. i'd like to make more friends, but i'm socially anxious and nobody really gets me at all, just them. martina is literally the person that makes me feel safe, understood, she's my sister of another mom, she's the only person that has ever understood me and the only one i can trust, but if it was all fake all along? i'm crying as i think about it, at the fact that maybe my love has always been unilateral and our bond was fake all along. i've created my whole point of view and philosophy around her, and the fact i never fully understood why she was my friend. that maybe it was part of my destiny to know her here and every other life i had, for us to be siblings... that idea has been shattering lately, and it's destroying my whole life, what little remains of it... i'm so alone, I don't know what to do anymore

Our children, a 16-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy, are fervently committed to environmental conservation, a value my husband (41) and I (38) wholeheartedly endorse. We've always embraced the philosophy "use gently and conserve," which we trace back to the ideas promoted by the Roosevelts.

Recently, after returning from a summer camp where a well-known actor emphasized the urgent need to cut carbon emissions by 66% to avert an environmental disaster, our kids' behavior took a sharp turn. Despite his own use of a private jet and multiple properties, his message hit home with them. They became overly aggressive, confronting friends and relatives about their environmental habits, leading our son to vandalize a friend's Mustang as an act of environmental protest.

To curb this growing fanaticism, my husband and I decided to teach them a practical lesson by challenging them to reduce their own carbon footprints by 66% until the start of the school year. We simplified our home energy sources to demonstrate achievable cuts, but even then, they struggled. They now had restricted car use, limited air conditioning, a diet without meat, and minimal use of appliances to truly understand the impact of such a drastic cutback.

The reality of their choices soon hit them, and within two days, they were pleading to return to their normal lives. We explained the hypocrisy of advocating for a lifestyle they themselves couldn't bear to maintain and imposed stricter limitations whenever they criticized others' environmental efforts. Following a particularly public complaint on Facebook about their restrictions, we cut off their internet access, nudging them further towards their emission reduction goal.

This approach has garnered mixed reactions. While many relatives who had been targeted by the kids' criticisms felt vindicated, others, including my mother-in-law and father-in-law, accused us of being harsh and even reported us to family services. Growing up on a farm taught us the value of true grit, and we believe these lessons are crucial.

Imagine if all this were unfolding on a reality TV show! Viewers would likely be split, with some applauding us for teaching a tough lesson in responsibility and sustainability, while others might view us as too severe, creating drama and drawing in a larger audience intrigued by the clash of environmental ideals versus practical living.

I wonder, would being on a reality show change public opinion about our approach?

Last night I was cheated on for the first time and I’m truly devastated…

Turns out the guy involved was someone I have a lot of drama/history with and I woke up to a message from him this morning…

He’s upload a clip to this website of him and my girlfriend last night and I’m just absolutely godsmacked 😕

At the moment I’m just trying to get the video taken down but I really need to focus on the reality and accept my girlfriend cheated on me with a guy she knows I dislike…

It’s over 💔

I find it interesting how some parents like to throw the word selfish around when their child does not want to comply with something. Due to the recent conflict with my mom, I've decided on my own that from this point on, I don't really want to talk to her anymore. Stepdad tried to tell me to go talk with my mom because "you gotta have a normal relationship with your mom", but for more than a decade, I don't remember the environment at home being entirely "normal". Maybe at this point I'm being really petty, I don't know anymore. I know, however, that my decision isn't coming out of nowhere.

Everytime there was conflict between me and them, after a few minutes, I'd hear them talking like nothing happened, while I'd be in my room frustrated and stewing. If the conflict was between me and stepdad, my mom would "talk" with me about how "I should be more gentle with him" or "if something happens to him, we're screwed". She never actually asked me what I felt about the conflicts. When she's the one I have a conflict with, I'm expected to be cool and to just get over it. Stepdad has this philosophy, by the way, where he goes "it's no use sulking, it's a waste of time". I feel that would apply only if there's an actual conversation about it and if every party involved recognizes their faults. I have almost never heard an apology coming from either stepdad or my mom except one time each, when I was younger.

One when I was little where my mom slapped me because I got an answer wrong with a math problem (which was actually the second or third time she did that). I think the only reason she didn't do that again was because I was having a walk with my mom and we started talking to these grown men who were drinking a beer or something ? And at some point, I told them that my mom beat me because I was getting the answers wrong in a math problem.

I don't remember what stepdad was apologizing to me about, but I do remember saying "you better be sorry" to him. That was a few years ago, I think. Like, 3-4 years ago ? By that point, I already didn't like him all that much because he kept making jokes at my expense like calling me a "maid" or he would sometimes tell me how "daughters in other families would sometimes massage their fathers feet" or "daughters in other families call their dads "father".

I also clearly remember how, when I was little, he was checking out other women passing by in the streets when he was picking my mom up from work, and I would always tell him "hey, you already have a wife". In response to that, he was just like "awww, she's protecting her mom". It was a subject of jokes recently (a few weeks before the conflict with my mom), when we were invited in my stepsister's house. Even she was laughing along about that, and my mom did too.

Anyway, I digress. The point is, stepdad just told me how he didn't appreciate how I didn't approach my mom, that it's disgustingly selfish and that, with everything she did for me recently, I should go thank her and offer her some emotional support because she was sad that her mom, my grandma, died. The way I saw it was, she didn't come to me once to apologize (because I should be the first one to apologize according to her), she expects me to be cool with everything after she gives me food, even though there was no actual conversation and I should just suck it up basically and pretend there's no problem. I do not want to pretend everything's fine, which is why I behave this way. This is not the first time they acted like nothing happened, and I'm tired of it. So in response to saying all that to him, I clearly told him that with this conflict that happened, I don't want to talk to her anymore, and her expecting me to apologize first is hypocritical in my opinion. Please tell me what you think, because maybe there's a part of me that did something wrong when I acted out of self preservation

this happened two years ago now, but I cannot look at her without sobbing. for some backstory, we were both teens when this happened, both females. we're gonna call her fay. well, fay had just gotten into a relationship and she loved her girlfriend. I was her best friend at the time, but fay wanted more, and she liked to remind me of this. she would always be all over me, touching me in ways that made me sooooooo uncomfortable. it got to a point I screamed in the middle of the mall in town that I'd call her girlfriend and she snatched my phone out of my hands and begged for me not to. well, she had forced me to shower with her and pulled my bathing suit top down. she also attempted to "get in my pants." WELL. fay started cheating on her girlfriend. and this happened many, many times. when I told said girlfriend, fay blamed an unaliving attempt on me because of her actions. I blocked her and had a panic attack nearly all night because I genuinely thought I had done something wrong. guess what? they're still together. now, fay is trying to be my friend again. she showed up to color guard auditions and I had to run away crying because she loves to take things I've loved: guard, instruments, names, clothing styles, music tastes, so on and so forth. what do I do? how do I keep distance, and how can I process everything? I don't know.

[ this is taken directly from a desktop file I made recently. it was originally supposed to act as a message, but not anymore. take this into account. ]

hello. i won't say your name, you probably don't want me to speak it anyway. i look over all the shitty things you said to strangers about me every day. it reminds me of how you really think of me rather than how you want me to think. and yet you still wonder why i cut myself off. ironic, isn't it? all those things you said about me not understanding you, even if you did the same thing back to me tenfold. how funny must it be to make a big point about leaving me behind only to talk shit about me when i take a break? when i express my own beliefs and opinions rather than yours? when i do anything that you don't like? even if i didn't even know? and yet, i didn't cut you off for myself. ironically, i did it for you. you're making new friends, glorifying them to me as if i'm nothing. as if you're looking at me and saying 'see these people? let me tell you just how much better friends they are'. stop telling me what you think i want to hear. two-faced.

-b

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

Have you ever sat in your room, staring at the blank wall while the world outside continues its relentless pace, and wondered why you even bother to wake up each day? I mean, seriously, I'm nineteen and still asking myself this elementary question: What’s the point? Life, as I see it, feels like one stacked disappointment after another. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I’m just a ghost wandering through a living nightmare. Friends? Yeah, apparently I have a couple, but how many of them actually care? It’s like playing a game of pretend where everyone’s wearing masks, and I’m trapped inside my own. We laugh; we talk about pointless things that mean absolutely nothing. But deep down, I know that beneath the surface of those smiles is a sea of apathy, drifting quietly past as time ticks on. Like, do you ever get the sense that everyone is as lost as you are, but we’re just too scared to admit it? Days bleed into nights, and what do I have to show for it? A collection of half-finished projects and dreams that crumble every time I actually muster the courage to pursue them. Take school, for instance. I’m pushing through it, but I honestly can’t fathom why it matters. The grades, the pressure, the endless cycle of studies and exams—it all feels so trivial when you think about it. Not to mention the regrets that linger like smoke in the air, taunting me over lost opportunities and things I wanted to say but never did. How did I let it get this far? This overwhelming feeling of inadequacy weighs on me like an anchor, making it hard to even get out of bed some days. I mean, am I the only one who feels like I’m screaming in a crowded room and no one hears me? Sometimes the silence feels deafening. The moments between the chaotic noise of everyday life are filled with self-doubt, pulling me down into thoughts that spiral like a roller coaster out of control. Relationships are complicated, aren’t they? I see my friends dating, laughing, living lives full of passion, and I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I find that spark, that fire that lights up the mundane? I scroll through social media, each post a reminder of what I lack. Life looks perfect through a screen, but in reality, it’s just a highlight reel, right? Are we all just actors in our own stories? I keep waiting for the moment when I finally feel alive, yet every time I think it might happen, it slips through my fingers like sand. What if all I am is a name on a list, an afterthought in someone else’s tale? I try to fill my days, consuming content, watching movies, playing videos games—it’s like I’m escaping into different universes where my real life feels even more distant. The thrilling escapades and heroic quests completely contrast the mediocrity of my existence. Yet, when the screen fades to black, I’m left alone again, confronting the echoing reality of my confusion and despair. Do you feel this way too? Like a spectator, just watching your life go by? I thought adulthood came with the promise of freedom and adventure, but here I am trapped in an existence I didn’t sign up for. At times, I think about the possible paths I could take—the ones I didn’t choose, the risks I was too scared to take. So many “what ifs” floating in my head. What if I had gone after that girl I liked in high school? What if I had taken a year off to travel? What if I actually pursued what I loved instead of what everyone else expected? We live our lives pretending to follow a script, but what’s written doesn’t reflect who we are inside. And here’s the kicker; despite all that feeling, I still wake up every day. I won’t lie and say that the night doesn’t sometimes stretch endlessly and leave me feeling hopeless, but a part of me clings to the thought that maybe, just maybe, it could get better. There’s still a glimmer of hope buried somewhere under all this confusion that tells me there has to be a reason for my existence, but for now, I’m just lost in the chaos. Who knows if I’ll ever find my way? Do you ever feel the same, or am I just rambling into the void? Why are we here? It’s a question I’m still struggling to answer.

I finalized my divorce from my husband about a year ago. Right after our split, his girlfriend—who had been his affair partner—moved into the house that we'd once called home. I decided to move abroad, leaving behind most belongings, and told him to keep whatever he wished. Honestly, his cheating hardly impacted me anymore; our relationship had fizzled out long before, and the affair simply pushed us to acknowledge it.

Following the divorce and her moving in, we ceased all communication since there was nothing left to discuss. However, out of the blue, a week ago, I received a cheery message from her complimenting the home's style and inquiring about where certain decorations and furnitures were from. I contemplated her message for a day, then responded somewhat sharply, telling her that since she seemed to have everything perfectly arranged, she should also manage to 'figure out' the décor on her own. She questioned what I meant, and I couldn't help but express that since she now had everything that my ex had wanted—which apparently didn't include me—she didn’t need to replicate my style, too.

She replied, claiming she was just trying to be nice and give me a compliment. Right after, my ex texted me, puzzled by the conflict since he thought we'd remained amicable after our split.

Although it's true that we had both moved on from the marriage emotionally, her attempt at stepping into my aesthetic shoes hit a nerve. My friends and family are split on my reaction. Was I wrong to respond the way I did???

Now, imagine this scenario playing out in a reality TV show. Cameras rolling as dramatic music swells, capturing every nuanced expression of shock, hurt, and defiance. It's easy to imagine how the audience would react—likely split, with some empathizing with my need to sever all ties and establish distinct identities, while others might criticize the sharpness in my response, arguing that a simple acknowledgment of the compliment could have sufficed. The allure of reality TV thrives on such conflicts, and surely this exchange would stir up heated discussions across social media, making it a highlight reel moment of the season.

How should I handle ex's GF copying my style?