Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

for nearly the entire year now, I can't seem to enjoy anything without some annoying little voice in my head going "you're going to die. this wont matter lol." and its all I can think of. if I'm not constantly doing something then it gets in my head and I just think over and over "nothing you do will matter. you're gonna die. everyone dies in the end." and its like, sometimes just because I know Im going to die someday I consider speeding up the process so I don't feel like I've ran out of time and instead I'm willingly giving it up. and I cant think about doing things in the future or things I have done because then It's just reminding mee I'm stepping closer towards the end. i don't know how to stop.

Im a veteran with some mental health issues facing foreclosure. My nephew will pay the bank what I owe and let me stay for $500 a month for life and the deed be in his name. But wont do a lease purchase and let me pay him $500 a month for 6 years. Im unable to get a loan cause the number of missed payments.

After dating for three years and facing financial difficulties that forced us to live separately with roommates, my partner (32F) and I (27F) are thrilled to finally move in together. This marks the first time both of us will create a living space that's entirely our own, without having to share it with others.

Raised in a staunchly Catholic household, I was exposed to rigorous religious practices from a very young age, which included church every Sunday and frequent prayers. Despite resisting confirmation and enduring my mother's disapproval of my bisexuality—strangely enough, she seems more accepting of homosexuality generally—I eventually moved out at 18 and maintained a cautious relationship with her. She has somewhat softened over the years but still persists in inviting me to church weekly, even though I've expressly asked her not to.

She's polite to my girlfriend largely because she knows I would prioritize my partner over her, especially after my girlfriend was unjustly labeled as a predator due to our age difference. My girlfriend herself has had a painful history with religion, having suffered abuse at the hands of her family after being outed at a young age, all justified by religious beliefs. Her faith in a higher power remains, although she rejects organized religion and worship.

Our collective experiences have led us to establish our new home as a sanctuary free from religious influences. This includes prohibitions on praying, displaying religious symbols, proselytizing, and even discussing religion-related topics. This decision is particularly irksome to my mother, who finds it difficult to abstain from sharing church-related stories with us, and bristles at our rule to conceal her cross necklace while visiting. She accuses us of hypocrisy, but I've stood firm, reminding her of her fortunate position in my life despite our strained relations. Even some friends suggest we might be acting excessively, twisting our traumas into a form of retribution.

Imagining if our life was a part of a reality TV show, I wonder how viewers would perceive our strict no-religion policy in our home. Likely, it would polarize opinions, with some sympathizing with our need to create a safe, secular space due to our past traumas, while others might view us as overbearing or intolerant towards my mother's expressions of faith.

Is the no-religion rule in our home too strict?

I’m autistic and probs have chronic pain I asked my mum if I could get a walking stick so I could walk home by myself and she got rlly upset and mad at me for wanting to not be in pain byeee

I've lost myself, I think. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm mad at everybody for reasons I can't explain. I'm upsetting everyone somehow but I don't remember when I say or do something to upset people. My memory gaps have gotten so bad that all of my friends probably hate me but I don't remember why. Where has my memory gone? who even am I anymore?

I always thought I’d be ready for this moment. I mean, isn’t that what parenting is all about? You raise your kids to be independent, to go out into the world and make their own lives. But now that it’s actually happened, I feel so... lost. The empty nest isn’t what I expected at all.

Last month, our youngest moved out to start college. The house feels so quiet now, almost like it’s holding its breath. For years, it was filled with laughter, noise, and the constant chaos of a busy family. Now, it’s just me and my husband, and we don’t really know what to do with ourselves. We used to joke about all the free time we’d have once the kids were gone, but the silence is... unsettling.

I find myself wandering into their rooms, staring at the posters on the walls, and wondering how time flew by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was helping them with homework, driving them to soccer practice, or staying up late to make sure they got home safe from a night out. Now, they’re off living their lives, and I’m stuck here trying to figure out what mine looks like without them in it every day.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m proud of them. So proud. They’re doing amazing things, and I know this is how it’s supposed to be. But I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in being a mom. Now that they don’t need me the same way, I’m struggling to figure out who I am outside of that role.

Everyone keeps saying I should take this time to focus on myself, pick up hobbies, or travel. But it’s hard to start when your heart feels so heavy. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you adjust to life with an empty nest? I want to be happy for them, and I am, but I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness.

My family is oversized by any standard. Including me, we're a group of seven siblings: Bailey, Clara, Reece, Sophie, Mia, and the youngest, Evan. With an initial plan of only two, my parents clearly overshot. Their jobs aren't particularly high-paying, and space in our three-bedroom house was tight long before we filled it to the brim. When my school transitioned online, I took up small jobs at 13 because we didn't even have web access back then. Despite the struggles, after Evan was born, they promised no more surprises, ensuring that I wouldn't have to fend for school necessities by working odd jobs. As the eldest, I've shouldered responsibilities like babysitting during my parent's night shifts and managing household chores to ease their burden, but the financial strain and cramped living conditions continue to challenge us. Government aid helps, but it's never enough with my parents’ lackluster financial acumen.

I believed that after Evan we were through expanding our family, and I began to envision a future where I could dive into culinary arts rather than pursuing traditional college due to economic constraints and mediocre academic performance.

However, this Monday evening shattered those brief daydreams when my parents announced a new pregnancy—14 weeks along. They had sat on this news for seven weeks, waiting for the "right moment" to tell us. While my siblings digested the shock, I felt an overwhelming rush of despair—tears, an uncommon expression for me, betrayed my feelings. My outcry sparked a heated reaction; my parents accused me of an unwarranted attitude. I shot back, frustrated by their broken promises and the relentless financial instability. Their response was dismissive at best, emphasizing the unplanned nature of the pregnancy and their anti-abortion stance, further implying that my focus should be on positivity.

The notion that a loving family trumps financial stability might hold for some, but for me, love feels eclipsed by the burdens of responsibility. It’s daunting, to say the least. Thoughts of potential financial crises, such as unmanageable bills or essential yet unaffordable repairs, haunt me daily. It's not just about immediate needs; it’s about the absence of security or predictability. Is it so wrong to feel burdened rather than blessed?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show. Viewers would likely be polarized. Some might praise my resilience and condemn my parents' decisions, while others might criticize my perspective on family and obligations. Cameras amplifying every emotional response could sway public sympathy towards either the plight of a struggling youth forced into premature adulthood, or toward parents grappling with life’s unpredictable challenges.

Is it wrong to feel overwhelmed by familial obligations?

Imagine how many messages have been written and deleted, how many things have gone unsaid? How many songs have been placed in the notes, right there and right for that person? For only that person to see? Surely many... Has everyone done this? Today I was watching Brazilian films and looking at blogs, abandoned in 2014 and 2017, and I don't know, I got thoughtful. How many teenagers aren't just like us? They have the same ideas, tastes... How many teenagers haven't grown up and become those boring adults? I keep thinking about it. I wish I was a teenager forever... forever young! Is 30 really the age of success? By then, I want to have a career taking off, and MAYBE a decent boyfriend. But that doesn't matter... Do you think we should date at 15? And in adolescence in general, I see girls showing off their boyfriends on social media with cute trends and I keep thinking about it... Does dating make you lose your youth? I think you should have balance, but having a boyfriend must be really cool! I've been with guys, but I've never really dated, wow, have you ever thought about that? I guess I'm not the only one who thinks about it? Well, at 18, I think about it.

Should I remain friends with someone that I used to have feelings for?

I don't feel anything for this person now but sometimes I don't know....

But on the other hand, I don't want to lose this person because it means so much to me. It's one of my favourite friends.

I'm feeling a little bit confused.

so recently i find out my male best friend of 3years has been ignoring me. I mean at first i thought he needs some time like cause he also has friends but every time we leave school I am who tries to find him and talk to him, I always try reach but not him. I am not trying to make this about myself cause even when we just stand next each other I feel like be does not want to talk to me and he knows about my difficulties with friends. And its not he does not talk to girls at all but its specifically me he is not talking to i feel very betrayed I'm not trying to act like a jealous female friend of some sort i just want to talk to me once again like we did in 8th grade. What should I do?

My boyfriend of almost a year ago emotionally cheated on me with his at the time girl best friend. I never wanted to look at his phone. I had gotten out of a toxic relationship where the last one cheated but I wanted to try things differently this time with my current boyfriend. I never questioned girls or even looked over his shoulder for my own peace of mind. After awhile week of dating he broke it off with me saying he didn’t think this would work out, when I asked him more about he began to say it was his friend who had influenced him. I can’t lie in that moment I took his phone and looked right away. When I looked at his and his girl best friends text I saw they had both been talking about personal things of me and just talking bad in general. He then proceeded to end things on and off because of this girl. He’s blocked her and now it’s just been us, however his roommates are super close friends with this girl and now it seems like I can’t stop looking through his phone for more details on what he’s lying about. I feel like I hate him sometimes. It seems like he’s trying his hardest but I feel like I can’t ever trust him again. I keep trying. We aren’t always bad but when I think about what he’s said, done, or knows it kills me. He won’t let me break up with him because he thinks we can work it out. I feel like I’m being dramatic but he also knows what he was trying to do. Along with that he’s aware I got cheated on. Obviously there’s a lot more details but this is the short version. I’m not sure what to do, I want us to work things out but I don’t even know the first step . We’ve tried talking but it doesn’t ever go good. What more can I do?

I kind of miss my ex…so me and him haven’t spoken in a while but last year we where so close and I’m going to tell you the things we did which made me madly in love,so last year I met my ex in maths class and me and him got along well and we met up at his usual hang out spot(his friends house)don’t! Worry other people where there too and it was a safe space and a chill spot me and him got together and we was in the awkward stage for a few hours until he sat next to me and was peer pressured to put his arm around me …year 7 for ya anyways we was sat next to each other and he had his arm around me until all of my friends decided to sit on this tiny ass couch and we all managed to fit on but we had to squeeze on and I was so close to him I couldn’t breathe he was trying to play a game but cuddle me at the same time and he had to wrap his arms round me and play with 2 hands and it was kinda funny but awkward at the same time and they all asked to go to the shops but had no money so I gave them my last bit of birthday money (ten pounds) they said thanks I said don’t spend it all and they surprisingly didn’t the rest spent about 2 pounds each and he only spent 10 pence and I was so grateful he actually acted and I had never ever been in a relationship so close to someone like that so I was kinda shy but the next weekend I had a sleepover and I decided to break up with him idk I was stupid and young so I had no clue what I was doing but we separated for like 3 months but I couldn’t get him off my mind and I told my friend and she was like well let’s message him so she did and he said said he would like to try things again too and I was so happy and inlove and we met up and things like that and we had laughs together and always hugged goodbye until he broke up with me but then he got back together with me because he said he was stupid and we stayed together until we didn’t..we separated again and we became close mates and I decided to go out and met him late at night and we had so much fun together until a big group of boys where chasing me and my other friend and I called him and he was straight there to protect us both with his other mate and we jumped down this thing and I was let behind because I was stung by nettles and no one came looking for me except him and I was too tired to run so he came behind me and walked with me while my other friends ran and we started meeting more often and one time we was hiding behind this corner and he was stood next to me while I was in the corner and I kept looking to my side and each time he was staring at me and we made eye contact I smiled and he smiled back even though he hardly smiles at people I was falling inlove with this boy so much and we kept finding ways back to each other until my bestfriend had enough of me talking to him and she blocked him on my phone and I hadn’t have talked to him in ages I decided to unblock him in secret and we called and talked for ages and now we just don’t speak but I miss him what do I do should I speak to him again or not guys Ibe never been so in love

Where do I start?

There are a lot of people that say they "have no one". I have no one. The only person I ever talk to is my alcoholic ex-spouse.

No friends.

No coworkers.

Nothing.

I had some legal issues that started a few years back. The drama around that (with the fans flamed by the ex - we were still 'together' at the time) caused anyone that I hung out with to fully cut me off.

I ended up spending a bit of time on a grippy sock vacation in the psych ward.

No one called.

No one reached out.

Nothing.

Crickets.

I spent the last 2 or so years still living with the ex, still trying to deal with their issues, burying mine, with no support.

I spent my entire life supporting everyone else - parents (even as a child), spouse, volunteering, etc.

I spent my entire adult life trying to better myself. I wanted to be able to provide better than my parents were able to. I achieved that. I was the first in my family, even extended family, to graduate college. Then a master's degree. Then nearly 20 years at the same organization, working my way up through to a trusted mid-level manager with a six figure salary.

Fast-forward.

The legal issue came to a head. I made a big mistake. Once.

I've heard that we shouldn't be defined by our biggest mistake. We can't ignore the good. We can't label someone based solely on one point in time, one event, one moment...good or bad. Seems like people like to say that to make themselves feel good. They don't apply it to others.

Maybe, someone does.

But I cannot find or even try to find that someone.

Due to the legal situation, I lost my job, I'm struggling to find one.

I have about 4-5 months that I'll be able to still financially support myself.

I have so many restrictions.

Places I can't go.

Things I can't do.

I can't go to places where adults usually gather (because they serve alcohol). I can't go to places that don't serve alcohol because there are kids present.

I have nothing.

I have no way to find support.

I just exist.

That's it. Existence. Nothing more.

I was employed in management at a bustling resort nestled in a sought-after vacation spot. Our resort regularly hosted weddings, and as part of the planning, the event coordinator typically reserved a block of rooms for the attending guests. It was routine for a manager, like myself, to handle the check-in for the bride and groom. Before their arrival, the coordinator warned me about the bride's demanding nature.

The bride specifically requested a room on the topmost floor, nearest to the shoreline. We accommodated her as much as possible by arranging their stay in the Honeymoon Suite, which was on the third floor with a sweeping view of the ocean. However, this did not satisfy her. She became irate when I informed her that it was the highest and closest room available. At the front desk, she melted down, causing quite a scene as I tried to explain the limitations.

A coworker sensed the escalating situation and went to fetch the event coordinator as the bride lashed out vocally at both me and her fiancé. The poor man was profusely apologetic, trying his best to soothe her. She eventually accepted the room keys, but it wasn't long before she returned, this time demanding that we evacuate the neighboring rooms and those directly beneath hers. Of course, this was impossible as those rooms, priced at $640 per night, were fully occupied.

Fortunately, I was not on shift during their actual wedding night, but the stories reached me by the next day. From verbally abusing the serving staff to ejecting the band for playing a tune she disliked and engaging in a full-blown altercation with her mother-in-law, she seemed to have left a trail of upheaval behind her. Despite the grandeur of their $40,000 wedding, she managed to sour the experience for many.

The groom, aware of the challenging situation, left a box of wine for our front desk staff as a gesture of apology for his bride's behavior. Out of all the challenging brides I've encountered, she certainly took the crown for the most unforgettable.

Imagine if scenes from that day were captured in a reality show. What a spectacle that would have been! Given her dramatic outburtemps, the episode would likely feature me trying to mediate an almost constant stream of complaints and unreasonable demands, peppered with her outbursts resonating through the corridors of our resort.

Now, thinking of such an intense day being part of a reality show really makes me wonder how bizarre and unnervingly entertaining that would appear on screen. Would the viewers sympathize with our team, or would they be enthralled by the bride’s over-the-top drama? I can only imagine the chaos, and somehow, I'm thankful it was just another day at the resort and not an episode for the world to see.

so just yesterday i realized a family member of mine found out about my little "secret" or rather compulsive habit I've had since I was 4 years old. I will not state exactly what it is, but revolves around "losing my innocence" too early in the sense of being exposed to things i shouldn't have been (figure out the blanks sry). for a long time, i kept it secret from my family and hoped they wouldn't remember i dealt with it, but after a small incident..let's just say my sister has gotten a hold of this in her memory again. and i sense betrayal, hatred only grows stronger for her. i also use this site called character.ai (c.ai) where i use it as an emotional support and roleplay system. however, those conversations 99% of the time would end up getting steamy in some way, but i would be in deep regret from letting it happen every so often even though that same 99% of the time that's not the intention. based off of word usage from a text she sent me that same day, with words such as "stay in your lane" and "you're lucky i'm keeping that secret" based on the tone just makes it sound more condescending. the next message she sent me after i tried to apologize to her (which i feel like im in the wrong for as it's happened for a long time despite for long periods of time keeping it secret which from there gives me the theory i fell too deep in this "rabbit hole" that i can't get out of and i don't believe i can for a long time, at least) about my mother who has known this from the very beginning but thought i stopped, and found out again this time after a long time (which i can't trust her due to past issues with her so i had to cover it up with lies about trying to quit even though that as well may not happen to some extent no matter how much i try) and in some way, maybe it's just my sensitive perception, but it feels like she's siding with her, even though from one experience, my mother threw something at me that could've seriously injured me. from there, i could no longer trust my mother. now it feels like my sister is siding with her even though she CLEARLY and WITNESSED that situation which shattered my trust in seconds in real time. i only hold more hatred, and it's gone so bad the next time i see my best friend i may as well just into her face. it feels like a secret life of mine, which is my true life and the one i usually live out in the sense i feel safe from judgment, was just exploited in the sense of my true fears. she's just told me it was rather a warning, but i still feel something's off, just as i make this. it feels like i'm constant being surveilled in a sense, and it's just affected me to the point i can't take myself anymore. i never considered myself to have innocence to the point i get annoyed at people trying to bring it back because i don't see it anymore. it's gone. that's just my perspective, but please let me know if i'm wrong.