Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

my story doesn't fall into family drama but I couldn't find another fitting category

so...I'm a student in university and I have this exam coming. Fail and you pay quite a huge amount to rebook.

I've been trying to study for it since Sun and I've been stuck on module 1(a 2 hour educational video) ever since. I've only managed to study 40 mins. I'm delayed due to procrastination and laziness and I'm forever fighting for time. I sit and try to study in my room so I hardly see my family even though it's my study break right now.

a few minutes ago, I was on a call with my grandparents and they said they won't speak to me much and occupy my time since they know I have an exam coming. they teared up while mentioning that I always work so hard and that they pray I do well and ace the exam.

it hurts to know that I'm not even working that hard, I'm not even putting in that much effort even though I have the time and means and yet they all hold me so high. how do I tell them that I don't work that hard - not studying 24/7 because I'm so lazy and a procrastinator ? internally I'm broken because I know my truth and I can't find the heart to tell anyone here that I can't find myself to sit for long enough with full concentration and be efficient and productive without getting distracted and needing to watch something to make me feel happy and less ...lonely ? I don't know

I was supposed to leave a question but I honestly don't know what my point was and I don't know what I'm feeling or what I need to ask 😭

thank you for listening to me!

I'm 13 and I have had anxiety for as long as i can remember, but it was never extremely bad. But lately (the past 2 weeks) its been really bad. I have been waking up in the middle of the night sweating extremly hard, I had panick attacks alot to, and i'm sick of it. I am seeing therapist for over 4 years, and he helped me alot up until now. Can somebody please help?

Ideally books from a library... Not digital... Cause digital books usually cost money to continue reading chapters... Or only allow you to have the 1st book free... And the sequels not-free😭!

My ideal books are honestly werewolf smut😑. And not the kind with a sh*t-ton of violence or "imma cage you and you submit to me" kinda books😅. I definitely like the books were there's an alpha female falling in love with another hot alpha! Alpha-alpha energies in such stories don't seem to mix well in werewolf lore but for my sludge brain... It should! And I'm personally into monogamy, but the books with 1 female, and 2-3 dude is super spicy😍!! It's even spicier when the dude are twins or triplets cause that's hecka funny when the MC gets super confused🤣!! Good comedy in a steamy romance😂! I usually like these werewolf setting to be in college, cause that's where I'm at right now.

Another type is college romance, spicy version. Yes, my brain is sludge, and I need to touch grass(thanks Bang Chan!)... But come on... They're fun, and usually college scenarios involve a lot of cute flirting and then... BAM!! Your roommate caught you kissing and you sludge-brains forgot to lock the door or put something on the door🤪!

Personally, my love live is non-existent... Recently single. Boring AF! I'm human🙋🏻‍♀️... By the way, if there are any werewolf believers. And according to werewolf lore... Specifically based on stereotypes... They have soulmates... Unfortunately, I'm human... And I'm stuck being a sludge brain without a mate. Also, the stories seem to insinuate that werewolf's don't particularly like the fact that their mates would be with other people before finding them. And there's the possessiveness, obsessiveness, gaslighting, and an odd amount of dominance... Which isn't something I'd personally want... As I prefer control. But on the outside, I basically look like one of the chubby anime cats that you see in those shows... Cute, soft, small, and I sorta have a cat-like personality.

I'm a fairly short guy, standing somewhere between 5'4" and 5'5", and currently in my thirties. My buddy Mike towers over me at 6'1". We first crossed paths at a gathering some years ago, and although he's quite the head-turner, Mike is currently working as a waiter at a local café. I, on the other hand, am doing quite well financially, to put it modestly.

Mike has been dating a girl named Emily. Just the other day, we were all chilling at his apartment, along with a few more of his friends. Unlike them, I don't drink alcohol at all and I absolutely detest it, yet everyone else was indulging and getting pretty tipsary. As the evening wore on, they started throwing around what they considered "banter". One remark targeted my height, ridiculing my single status as well.

Out of the blue, Mike remarked, "Honestly man, it's no shock you're still flying solo—you're seriously on the shorter side, and most ladies would take a pass at first glance." Laughter erupted around the room, Emily included.

Caught off guard, I retorted sharply, "Well, at least I'm not scraping by on a minimum-wage paycheck." I shot back further, "By the way, many women wouldn’t exactly see you as husband material in your current job."

That set off a firestorm. Mike was livid, and the rest of them joined the fray. A fiery verbal exchange erupted. Eventually, I told them to bugger off and stormed out.

Had this been captured on a reality show, the reaction might have been explosively mixed. Reality TV thrives on conflict and dramatic confrontations, so it's likely the audience would have been hooked, eagerly taking sides. Viewers might debate whether my response was justified or if I should have kept my cool. Social media would buzz with opinions, some calling me out for my comments about Mike’s job, while others might sympathize with my reaction to the personal digs about my height.

Am I the bad guy here, or what? He started...

My sister has been going through a rough time. Her ex did nonconsensual things to her and hit her. He is a big member in the club we are both in. I have been having a tough time with feeling angry. I have been mad multiple times over this, but my sister has been quick to swipe away what happened, and they have been amicable so far. I think that what he did was horrible and wrong and I wish it didn't happen to her. My view of him shifts a lot and I was trying to show him love at first because my sister was trying to move past it. However she has been switching on if she likes him or hates him, or whatever. And I have to listen to all this and try my best to give good advice however she shuts down on me a lot. She has recently been telling a lot of his friends about what happened. But, I think the thing that makes this so hard is that she used to hurt me. When we were younger she used to hit me for being out of line and she would do non-consensual things to me too. I never fully healed from all of this, and it makes it difficult to navigate this situation. I love her ofc, but only until recently have I stopped being on edge around her. It's always in the back of my mind and I hate that it is, because she isn't like that anymore. She was hurting and took it out on me. We've talked about it before and she agreed we both did wrong.. but I never knew about sexual things until she forced it on me. I'm struggling to be there for her when she is switching her mind every second. I'm also afraid she will hurt me.. she hasn't in a decade but it's still a fear, even if irrational. Everyone's telling me "What your sister is going through must be so hard on you." I'm struggling to feel empathy for her, probably because I just swept everything under the rug. I know she shouldn't but I'm struggling to understand why she can't. Today a guy told the ex to back off and not to contact her.. but she has been contacting him. "It must be so hard on you." It is, but for different reasons and no one can ever know about those reasons. I have 3 cans of alc with me and I'm thinking of drinking them. My dad was a drinker so maybe I've got the gene. I tried to tell some friends without being clear but they didn't pick up that today was a rough time for me. SO I just feel so lost and disgusting. I don't want to hear about what she has been through anymore and I want to block it all out. But I'm just having a hard time, because that's wrong, I should be there for her. Then again this isn't about me and I should probably just suck it up. I could barley get through her retelling it to someone else. I had this feeling of almost possessiveness.. she pours all her grief on me and she can just tell other people like it's nothing? Idk why that makes me feel so angry. I'm not sure what to do. If you have any advice I can give her that would help.

I've never felt this way before

I'm going through broken heart syndrome

I said some mean things to my closest friend who I have feelings for

Basically accused her for lying about something

We discussed about my feelings for her and she told me she doesn't have feelings for me although she kinda misled me into believing that she did

But she values our friendship

I couldn't sleep knowing that she doesn't like me even though I felt optimistic that she did

After I said those hurtful things, she is seeing me in a different light, and saying that she can't even imagine being friends with me

We're co-workers and we're part of a friends circle

I can imagine things being different but it physically hurts me to think that we can't stay friends

I want everyone, people who did nothing wrong, people who did me wrong, literally anyone—to feel bad for me. I want them to look at me with those sorry little eyes, drowning in guilt; they'll feel bad and would do anything for me. Because they feel bad. They pity me, so they feel that they should do this and that for me. It's like having slaves; I won't have to do anything by myself because they can do it for me. Please, pity me. I want everyone to feel obligated to pay attention to me or stay beside me because they feel bad and think that's the least they can do for someone so pitiful. Why am I this way?

A few weeks after an intense Father's Day, my mother, her new husband, and I found ourselves in group therapy. This decision was fueled by their frustrations with my refusal to embrace the family dynamic they envisioned. We initiated our sessions towards the end of July, and by the end of August, tensions had escalated: during one session, my mom, teary-eyed and distressed, labeled me a liar, deeply wounded by what she perceived as my efforts to undermine her marriage.

The accusation infuriated me—I had been truthful throughout our discussions. I detailed my perspective in the subsequent session, highlighting my feelings about being wrongfully called dishonest. My mom interrupted repeatedly, dismissing the therapist's attempts to mediate and doubling down on her accusations against me.

To understand the core of our issue, it's important to consider the backdrop. Three years prior, shortly after my mother’s husband entered our lives and a mere two months before they married, they proposed we become a 'family' again. The notion included him stepping into a fatherly role—filling the void left by my father's passing. During a discussion in February, they outlined a hopeful picture of our future as a unified family, including celebrating Father’s Day altogether. I was clear from the start: I did not want a replacement for my dad, nor did I intend to celebrate Father's Day with him. Despite this, they laughed it off, but when the day came each year, the issue reared its head again. This past year, he lost patience, complaining about my absence on Father's Day and his unfulfilled role.

My mom's claim of deceit stemmed from her belief that I had agreed to forge a closer bond with her husband and to partake in family traditions like Father's Day—promises she insisted I made. Her allegations were baseless; I had been explicit about my feelings and intentions from the beginning.

Throughout therapy, the therapist struggled to maintain a balanced dialogue, often unable to rein in my mom and her husband's dominant presence. Frustrated and feeling unheard, I eventually withdrew, engaging minimally. It was only recently that they noticed my disengagement, which I confirmed, demanding an apology for the false accusations before I would reconsider my participation. This sparked further frustration from them, accusing me of stalling the therapeutic process.

In an environment like a reality show, my stand could potentially evoke mixed reactions from the audience. There could be a strong empathetic response from viewers who appreciate my steadfastness in preserving my father's memory and recognizing the complexities of blended families. On the other hand, some might view my actions as stubborn, perhaps misunderstanding the depth of my emotions connected to my father's absence and the significance of Father's Day.

Would I be justified in demanding an apology?

Growing up as mixed race (Black father and white mother), I've become somewhat accustomed to navigating predominantly white spaces in the UK. However, a recent visit to my mum and her partner Peter, who've been together for more than a decade, reminded me of the unique challenges I still face. They reside in a quaint Welsh village, distinctively monochromatic in its demographic, but usually, this is an environment I'm used to.

This visit, I decided to offer a hand with some gardening tasks, pulling weeds out front when Peter struck up a conversation with a neighbor, Robert, and brought me over to meet him. Within our initial exchange, after mentioning I was visiting from London for a week, Robert launched into a recount of his last trip to London. He described a minor collision with another person who he claimed then reacted aggressively. He concluded his story with, "and he was coloured," with an implicating tone suggesting danger, followed by fits of laughter from him and Peter.

The comment caught me off guard, and I excused myself, feigning more gardening work for a few moments before heading indoors. Shortly after, Peter came to my room to apologize, but his words, "Sorry about Robert, he just speaks his mind," only fueled my frustration. I confronted him about the lack of opposition to Robert's clearly racist comment. I ended up going for a long hike to cool down.

On returning, my mum tried smoothing things over, but it only escalated the tension. She suggested Robert was just an eccentric and advised I overlook his remarks. However, I stressed that my issue was more with Peter’s nonchalant reaction than Robert’s obvious prejudice. When she urged me to stand up for myself, I emphasized that as a person of color, it wasn't my place to educate or correct their biased acquaintances.

My mum accused me of overreacting; I countered, explaining she couldn’t possibly understand my position fully due to her different racial experiences. I've had to ignore casual racism in many areas of my life, but I drew the line at tolerating it in the so-called safety of my family home. Declaring my intentions to leave first thing in the morning, I started packing.

This decision inflamed the situation further. My mum lamented my impending absence from other family gatherings, labeling my decision as immature for not wanting to reach a compromise. I struggled to grasp how one could "agree to disagree" on matters of racism, let alone feel at ease knowing my immediate family might downplay my feelings toward it.

Reflecting on this situation within the context of a reality show, one wonders how the drama and intense emotional exchanges might play out before an audience. In those heightened realities, the dynamic could shift significantly, offering a platform for broader discussion or possibly escalating tensions further with viewers’ polarized reactions impacting the narrative.

Would love to know your thoughts—would my reaction have been seen differently if it was all televised?

I've been obsessing about this for a long time.

Why? Why are we alive? Why give life when it's easily taken away?

I don't want to die, that's scary. But I know that it's because that I've been given life that I'm scared of it being taken away.

I still have a long way to get there, but sometimes, I think really hard about it and it gives me this ugly feeling in the chest.

I want to believe that there's something beyond death but I just can't do it. How do people not think about their short lives? How can they live not thinking about their inevitable death? Because it gives me pressure, it pressures me to HAVE to leave something on earh, something that proves that I was once alive, something like a big invention, to be famous, inspire people.

Please, someone, anyone, make living forever possible. I don't want to leave my life, I want to stay here, read everything that exists, do everything that it's possible to do. I don't want to leave incomplete, without those I love, without the things I like to do.

The birthday celebration I had planned for my wife Jennifer on Friday was supposed to be a joyous occasion. I always strive for her gifts to be a surprise, which can be a challenge since Jennifer tends to open every Amazon package that arrives, sometimes spoiling the surprise if it's her gift. This year, I thought I'd outsmart the situation.

You see, my sister Laura and Jennifer have always had a rocky relationship, primarily due to differing worldviews and values. Their conflicts mostly stem from Laura's past requests for financial help, which doesn't sit well with Jennifer. Though I manage our finances separately, lending money to Laura occasionally from my personal account — never from the joint one Jennifer and I share — and she has always been diligent about repayment.

To avoid any accidental gift reveal this year, I decided to have Jennifer’s birthday present sent to Laura's place. I planned to pick it up the day before the big celebration. However, things went south quickly when Laura texted to confirm the packages had arrived, and Jennifer saw the notification pop up on my phone.

Immediately, Jennifer assumed that I was financially helping Laura again and voiced her frustration, labeling my sister as someone who relies too much on others and never manages her affairs well. This led to a heated argument between us, during which I blurted out that the packages were actually her birthday gifts, which only served to escalate the conflict. In my frustration, I declared that I would return the gifts and cancel her birthday dinner.

The following argument only grew more intense, and I followed through with calling off the plans and had Laura send back the gifts. Jennifer was livid, calling me a jerk, declaring the whole debacle my fault. This has left me questioning whether I mishandled things or if I was right in standing my ground.

Now, imagine if this whole scenario played out on a reality TV show. The cameras capturing every raw emotion and angry word exchanged could have potentially swayed public opinion - either garnering sympathy for my attempt at a thoughtful surprise or painting me as the villain in the drama of a soured relationship with my sister being dragged into the frame. The very essence of our private conflict morphed into entertainment for others could shift perceptions drastically, based solely on editing and presentation.

Did I act correctly in this scenario???

Should I resign for my mental health or should I stay to provide my family?

So around last December, me and a friend were sitting around a fire and the fire wouldn't stay lit so we decided to go to a bar. Well, I didn't feel like changing clothes bc I was comfortable, and it was cold asf. So I went out wearing my plush pajama pants and a Columbia fleece jacket which probably wasnt the best idea😂 well we got too the bar and we were playing pool and my buddy bumped into this dude behind us, and when he did it made the guy miss his shot. So the dude was not happy at all he turned around and pushed my buddy. So being the friend that I am I walked up and pushed this guy too the ground, and when I did one of his buddies came up behind me and uppercutted and grabbed and was squeezing tff out of my balls all at the same time. Until I went to my knees and when I got down to his level I remember him saying in my ear while still squeezing and twisting my balls "oh your boys are nice and fuzzy".Which i mean the pants are soft asff but there were so many people around. Including girls lol that heard that, and it was humiliating. I couldn't do anything but hold my inner thigh and hoped he let go. Well, it went on for about 30 more seconds. That's when i felt something pop and he let go. I instantly got to my feet, limping but walking. My buddy helped me walk out of the bar. I remember being sore and not being able to close my legs for a week. My gf still doesn't know about anything when she asked me what was wrong. I just told her I rolled my ankle bc she kept asking why I was limping. What would be a good way to tell her about this embarrassing situation?

basically in the little group i hang out with at school since over a year ago, theres this girl that i get along with but i didnt see her as anything more than a friend until like october of 2024 when i started having a little crush on her.

a while after that, i was at one of the friends' birthday party and we were hanging out and the girl in question tells me 'are u into girls? i asked Friend3 about you a while ago cause youre kinda cute but she didnt know either...' and i was so caught off guard that i just nodded along like she said something completely normal and then i crashed out when i got home 😭😭

im super avoidant and sometimes when i know i will run into her at school i take a completely different route or just stay in class the entire break..

sometimes i feel like she's flirting with me but idk if she really is because she liked one guy for a really long time but shes p much over him now.

its rare for me to have crushes and its honestly overwhelming me.. i havent told any of our other friends because im so scared she wont like me back and its gonna be embarrassing..

i sometimes make excuses to text her or talk to her and it seems to me like shes also happy to talk to me but since were both girls its hard to tell when shes flirting or when shes just joking.

My husband, Mark, and I split all essential household costs down the middle, including groceries and the electricity bill. I see myself as the one who adds those special touches to our home, frequently dipping into my own funds for extras like new dishware, decorative items, and furniture. Unfortunately, Mark tends to be a bit negligent with our belongings, which often results in broken items around the house. Usually, I end up replacing these myself. However, a recent incident has left me rethinking this dynamic.

This Christmas, I had picked out a lovely new kettle as a present for my mother and stashed it under our tree. Last week, I discovered that our own kitchen kettle, which was less than a year old, was broken. Mark's response when I asked about it was a nonchalant, "I don't know." This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Frustrated, I've decided not to replace the kettle this time. I pointedly told him that since he broke it, it would be his responsibility to replace it. Given his usual reluctance to spend money, it seems we might be without a kettle for a while. Despite everything, I love him dearly, but it's tough sometimes!

Already Happy holidays, everyone!