Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Platonic friendships are possible and I am a believer of that. I've had and still have very successful ones. Those friendships aren't even considered a "friendship" I would consider them a sister. I have 3 friendships like this. Unfortunately I can't anymore. I've spent so much time this girl and it's always been brother and sister love between us both. Looking out for each other comforting each other during hard times and it's been very respectful and the clear boundaries have not been crossed. I hoped that it would've stayed as that bond of brother and sister but when one starts to think of the other in a different light they die inside. You're left with 3 options: 1. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she accepts and everything will be great. 2. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she doesn't like that so you can't be friends. 3. Die inside and don't tell her and preserve your entire relationship with the person. Under other circumstances I would've told her and risked our friendship. She has a boyfriend who l have meant, respect, and love him for her. So much so that when she told me about him I almost cried tears of joy. With that being said I feel that it's only appropriate to distance myself and let the friendship be just memories. I feel it's unfair to her on whatever I do but I only know it's fair to myself if I distance myself. Wonder what your thoughts are on this.

My boyfriend’s severely suicidal. He’s on the spectrum and so am I and idek it’s scaring me so bad. It’s gotten to a point where I genuinely don’t even know if he’s here anymore. He lives right down the street for me, he sits next to me on the school bus (both juniors) and is practically over every day. Genuinely around me at every point of time ever in my life. And I love it I really do. He’s so amazing when he’s not down. Except, now he’s down every day. We started dating almost a year ago and it started out great with the occasional off week or down moment with him. He’s been getting more and more and more depressed as the days go on. He’s the most perfect person I’ve ever seen and I don’t understand how he could possibly not see that. He’s had multiple attempts in the last few weeks along with going on 20 mg of lexipro and in an extensive treatment program 4/5 days out of the school week with constant monitoring. Nothings working and it’s only making him worse. He’s violent and he’s punching things and not eating and he’s barely alive I do not know what to do. I am constantly here for him and it’s not enough I suppose I will do anything pleaeebpleasepleaspelwlapdlwlase I want him to live but I don’t think he’ll make it alive to graduate, I don’t even know if he’ll make it past the summer. When I tell you he maybe the love of my life I truly mean it. It’s not a burden even if it’s killing me badly I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care he’s beautiful and I wouldn’t want it anyway else I just want him. I want him to be ok I want him to let me love him. He’s so amazing and perfect I really do not understand what I can do to save him. I’ve done everything. I’ve talked to guidnece counslers, both his and mine, I’ve talked to his mom, my mom, his friends, my friends, doctors teachers therapists about it and nothings working. What can I do? What ccan I do to save him from death??? What am I doing wrong????????

So, I've been rather lonely for the past couple of years. About 6 years, in fact. Physically speaking I am not lonely,I've always had caring family and friends around me. But emotionally, I've felt detached and disorientated for the past few years. I've been mentally unstable,have attempted to kill myself about 3 times, and also self harmed a lot (I've been clean of self harm for a few months, though, fortunately.)

Anyways.For me, nothing beats feeling lonely than playing truth or dare with yourself and postinsetting up questions asking about my own day in a fake chat to try and cheer myself up.I don't understand a few things,to be honest. Why do i feel lonely even though there's so many people keeping me company? What did I do to deserve all these wonderful and caring human beings? Unlike them, I'm nothing good. I'm practically just a worthless parasite, and yet they all put up with me. My family, friends, and practically everyone I know. I don't understand how someone can like something like me. I'm just worthless anyways. But yet I want to be loved. My minds been a conflicting and overwhelming mess for years now, and I still don't know how to manage it. Somedays I find myself getting better. Somedays I find myself back in this loop of confusion and frustration. I don't want to continue being like this. I want to be happy with everyone else. So I guess I'll try again. I've failed, sure, multiple times. But I'll try again. And I'll keep trying. I'm going to die anyways. We all are. So since it's inevitable,might as well give life a small chance.

Of course it being my 2nd year old highschool I’m aware of everyone’s clothes. Now idk if this is gonna hit the target audience but I need help with shoes and clothes. I have a good style, sandwich method everyday lol.. but anyways any sites that are good or stores. For shoes I’m stuck, I need shoes that match everything, but I want a cycle of shoes yk? To help, my style is between streetwear, the baggy clothes, 2000s, and Stockholm. A lot. Yeah. But I shop SHEIN, Charlotte Russe and more. A while ago I came across zumiez, it’s cool got some jeans from there. I wish I can add images here for a good example but yeah. I need help 🥲🫩..

Last week, I encountered an exceptionally rude sales assistant while hunting for a birthday present, and I wonder if I may have overreacted because of it. There was only one attendant free at the shop, and it was apparent she preferred not to be disturbed. She avoided making eye contact and would walk in the opposite direction whenever I neared. After waiting around for another assistant to become available and realizing none would, it was getting late, so I reluctantly decided to approach her. Regrettably, her response was dismissive and unhelpful, leading me to resume my browsing alone as I awaited my husband's arrival.

Upon his arrival, it was as if a switch had flipped with the saleswoman. She became eager and attentive, quite the opposite of how she had treated me initially. My attention had been caught by a stylish bag earlier, which I might have even bought for myself had it not been for her earlier behavior. My husband noticed and asked if I was interested in purchasing it, but I refused, particularly because it would mean she’d earn a commission from the sale. Despite my earlier experience, she now seemed more than willing to assist.

A few days later, my husband surprised me with that very same bag as a gift. I inquired if he had returned to the same store and interacted with the same assistant, which he confirmed. Knowing this, I felt compelled to return the bag. I explained to him how her initial rudeness had spoiled my view of the purchase, and that I did not want her benefiting from the commission. While the commission seemed trivial to my husband, the principle mattered to me. He was quite upset when I returned his gift, not understanding why a stranger’s actions should influence our decisions.

Am I being unreasonable?

Navigating this situation on a reality show would undoubtedly amplify the drama. Picture the scenario being replayed to a room full of spectators, each weighing in on the ethical dilemma. Would the public side with my decision to stand against poor customer service, or would they perceive my actions as an overreaction detrimental to what was a heartfelt gift from my husband? Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, often escalating them to entertain the audience.

I can’t get out of this. It has been almost 2 years since my A levels but it still haunts me. I have achieved A*s after extreme hard work as I was never that great of a student in my childhood so I had to work a lot. However in my A levels I got relatively poor grades especially in Biology, and biology is my strongest subject ( seriously ). Because of those grades I couldn’t even apply to Medical school, which has been my dream since childhood, as it’s a requirement to have an A for the application. It's so bad that the thought of it makes me nauseous.

My mom used to say, "What's the point of receiving the highest grades at school if you score that badly?" My dad called me a third grade student twice ( meaning like an extremely bad student ) and asked which university would ever take me in as I received those grades. My university has two similar courses like A levels and before giving the quizzes or exams I always panic and cry. My family is so tired of hearing me say all of this that it has affected me a lot because I have seen myself get compared with my siblings and friends. I wish I could move on but getting good grades in A levels had been such a long dream of mine that I can’t move on, I feel like such a failure, even now at university whenever I get a good grade or I feel like I know the content I feel like I am deceiving myself as I did so bad. I can’t move on.

I moved schools a few months ago and I love it sm and I met this guy about a month ago and he's great I really do mean that and he's liked me I think ever since we met (his friends are always making jokes when I'm around and I've been told by many people) and that's very sweet and I could see myself w him but idk if I'm ready to date, I've dated before but idk I feel like I'm awkward and would fuck things up, I really do enjoy talking to him he's really nice but idk I don't wanna ruin things and then we stop talking

Late yesterday afternoon, my former spouse stopped by to collect our son from my residence. At that time, my current wife and I were hosting a gathering that included her sister and her sister's husband, along with several other friends.

Typically, my ex would call our son to come down to the lobby of our apartment complex where she waits. However, on this particular occasion, she called and requested if she and her younger children could come up to our apartment because one of them needed to use the restroom urgently.

Naturally, I agreed to her request. She arrived with her three younger children and was immediately apologetic for the interruption upon realizing that we had guests. After quickly using the toilet, they were about to leave when a couple of our friends, who knew her from our earlier days together, engaged her in brief conversation. Meanwhile, our son shared some of the snacks set out for our guests with his younger siblings.

Once they departed, my wife's sister immediately criticized my ex for intruding unannounced. One of my friends defused the moment by mentioning the urgency of the situation involving the needs of little children. The subject dropped for the moment.

Yet, the issue didn't end there. After most of our guests had left, only my wife and her sister were remaining, and they both began to critique the situation. They labeled my ex’s behavior as both impolite and inappropriate and were astonished that she had conversed with some of our friends. When I defended the decision to let her in without consulting my wife first, they dismissed my view as unreasonable.

Later that evening, the topic resurfaced between my wife and me. She expressed that she felt embarrassed by my unilateral decision to allow my ex access to the apartment amidst our gathering. Despite my attempts to understand her perspective, she simply concluded that I wouldn't grasp her feelings on the matter.

Do I really deserve to be faulted here? I was merely trying to be considerate, yet now I'm left feeling guilty for having apparently upset my wife.

Intriguingly, if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show, it could ignite a flurry of dramatic reactions and debates among viewers. Reality shows thrive on these kinds of interpersonal tensions and conflicts, often magnifying them to boost viewer engagement. The clash between family obligations and social etiquette, mixed with a past and present relationship dynamic, would likely be a focal point for an episode, driving discussions online and off about family, boundaries, and respect.

How should I handle such situations in the future?

I've been in a happily married life with my spouse Dan for over five years now. We both have solid careers and, thanks to our combined efforts, we're quite secure financially. While it's true that Dan earns a bit more than I do, we've never seen our finances as anything but shared. We work as a team and distribute our responsibilities fairly.

However, there's a persistent issue that has been bothering me; it involves Dan's brother, Joel. Over the years, Joel has repeatedly made snide remarks, labeling me a "gold digger" under the guise of humor because I earn less than Dan. He mostly does this in social settings, and while I usually brush it off with a laugh to keep the peace, it's become increasingly irksome. Despite my consistent contributions to our household, Joel's jokes suggest I'm merely living off Dan's earnings.

The situation escalated when Joel, along with his wife, asked us to financially assist them with their share for a family vacation, citing their inability to afford it. After discussing it with Dan, we decided against providing the help. Given Joel's ongoing disrespect towards me, supporting their leisure didn't feel right.

Upon our refusal, Joel attempted to dismiss my feelings by claiming I was overreacting and that his comments were just harmless fun. But I'm fed up. Now, Joel is upset, and some relatives are echoing the sentiment that I'm blowing things out of proportion and that "family should help each other." Though Dan supports me, part of me still doubts my decision. Am I just being overly sensitive?

Now, imagine if this whole scenario played out on a reality TV show. Camera crews capturing every sneer and comment from Joel, the tense discussions with family, and the dramatic showdown of our refusal to fund their vacation trip. Viewers would likely be polarized. Some might sympathize with my irritation at being unfairly labeled, while others could perceive my reaction as too harsh, perhaps urging more family solidarity despite the personal digs.

Am I wrong for not helping because of ongoing disrespect?

I've been butting heads with my neighbor for years, pretty much ever since I settled in here about seven years back. Recently, he's really crossed the line by taking it upon himself to saw off half the branches from my apple tree that extended over his property. He never even bothered to warn me first. That really set things off.

To make things a bit more private after losing those branches, I installed a new fence along the property line and painted only the side facing my yard. My neighbor didn’t appreciate the unfinished look on his side, so he retaliated by building a taller fence right next to mine, topping it off with a security camera aimed into my backyard.

Driven to my wit's end, I came up with a plan to disrupt his precious, but seldom used, lawn. I bought a whole barrel of dandeliane seeds and spread them across his grass under cover of night. In my haste, I didn't spread them evenly and accidentally left the empty barrel outside near my shed. It turns out those seeds flourished, transforming his lawn into a sea of dandelians.

Now, he's furious and showed up at my door, accusing me of ruining his lawn. I was careful to avoid his camera and was fully covered up during my nighttime gardening, so there's no concrete evidence it was me. He wants me to pay for the damage, but can he legally force me to cover the costs?

Imagining this feud playing out in a reality TV show, it'd probably be pretty dramatic. Cameras zooming in on the late-night seed sprinkling, dramatic music as he discovers his flower-infested lawn, cutaways to confessionals where we both vent our frustrations. Viewers would be on the edge of their seats waiting to see what happens next in the neighborhood war zone.

After Iconfessed she blocked me and cut contact I literally have no one or anything anymore I seraiously dont know what do besides rot bed I dont even Im crying as I type this Shes asking me to leave all mutal discord servers too And I just I want to enjoy those communites too but Iwant to respect her wishes and I just lost everything and everyone because of my stupid self Im sorry

you open yourself up to people and feel doomed for failure.

you've played this tune before.

you've been here before.

but now it's through a screen, now you can't reach them.

its the first time ive allowed myself to make genuine, real online friends. and its great, but i forgot that i make friends with some of the most mentally unstable people on earth. so im dissociated, shaken, petrified because one of our friends just described their dad beating them, then after how they were cutting their own stomach open, playing with their organs, and waiting to bleed out.

and the five minutes they didnt respond felt like hours.

and then they were okay, and didnt do it only because they didnt want us telling their irl friend. then they got mad at me for telling their irl.

they played one of my alltime favorite songs, Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. I saw it on their Discord status, while they were bleeding out. Suddenly I don't like that song anymore.

just last night we also dealt with the owner of the server being sent to a psych ward, then being rejected entry.

i have midterms this week, im dealing with my own fucked up emotions and feelings, and all my friends want to be dead.

i don't easily want to hurt myself, when i do its from extremely bad stress. im gonna see if i can get high tonight on something, anything. im so done with the real world. its not just this, its everything. its politics, its school, its my gender, its anxiety, and its my friends. and still its so much more. everything feels inescapable.

i want to live. im too scared of death for anything drastic. but i wanna find a way where i dont have to think about life so much. a place inbetween.

so here's the thing, i'm 34 and just found out my partner cheated on me, which, as you can imagine, is kind of like being hit by a psychological freight train...

one moment you're cruising along, thinking your relationship's snug and secure, and the next, boom, everything you thought you knew is flipped on its head. now, i'm trying to figure out how to stop overthinking all of this. is that even possible? i mean, how do you shut off your brain when it's on a mental hamster wheel of betrayal and doubt? the byproducts of this whole ordeal are the constant reruns of past interactions, analyzing every look, word, and action, wondering if things were ever real or just some cruel joke. it sneaks into your thought patterns like malware, disrupting your everyday operations, making simple tasks feel like defusing a bomb. questions like, was it something i did? was there a sign i missed? keep me glued to this self-analysis, where i'm both the therapist and the patient. efficiently unpacking these instances seems rational, yet it feels emotionally exhausting. this brings me to strategies, like cognitive reframing or maybe just trying to distract myself with hobbies, but is that enough? maintaining emotional equilibrium feels like trying to balance on a tightrope with your eyes closed. it’s vital to test emotional boundaries, acknowledge the feelings, but decide not to let what transpired dominate every thought or decision. letting go is something people throw around like confetti, decorating conversations as if it's an easy step, but those who've been there know it's no picnic. trust is a delicate ecosystem and once disrupted, rebuilding feels daunting. but can this process of navigating post-betrayal emotions ultimately lead to personal growth? or does it just leave you with emotional scar tissue? strategizing how to restore or even redefine psychological self-reliance amidst this emotional upheaval is essential. sometimes i catch myself thinking if forgiveness happens naturally, or should it be a deliberate choice, like signing a mental peace treaty? this journey is a personal labyrinth, unique to each individual, yet relatable on a universal level. what's the protocol? allow some grief, sprinkle in a dash of self-care, and perhaps a generous dollop of patience, right? navigating through this emotional multi-layer shouldn’t be a solo expedition. it hit me that seeking seasoned guides like therapists can dissect complex post-cheating neurology into manageable parts. having a non-judgmental space to unload cognitive debris may not erase the past, but it might clarify the present. it's incredible how interconnected emotions and intertwined experiences are; yet there's hope in slowly disentangling them without making them the defining narrative. maybe resilience can sprout from this ordeal, or maybe not. what do you think? through it all, maintaining a nuanced view on relationships, understanding their imperfections, enterprises, and sometimes failures, might just be the grounding element needed in this intricate chaos. is there a shortfall in just living and letting each day unravel? 🍀

first of all, sorry if I have any grammar or vocabulary errors, English is not my first language.

so, I (f, 17) have had this friend (m,18) for almost 6 years, I shared everything with him and loved him with all my heart.

we met because he had a crush on me, but he moved forward in a few months. He was very sweet at first, and it was so nice to talk about anything with him. also, he always had depressio, and I've always been there for him, honestly.

when he got a girlfriend we lost contact a little, because she was kind of jealous, and I understood it perfectly bc I didn't want to make things weird for anyone. we still talked tho, but only about serious problems and not a lot.

when they broke up two years later me and my friend got closer again because he needed a friend to talk to. I helped him with what I could, but soon I started to have feelings for him. I didnt told him bc I didn't want to ruin our friendship bc I loved him so much in that way, so I tried to wait for those feelings to pass, but they didn't.

still, I didn't do anything about it, I knew he didn't saw me the same way, and also he was going through a thought breakup.

one day I invited him and my other bestie over bc there was a concert at my stepdad town. there was two beds for us, so my other bestie (girl and in a relationship) and I were supposed to sleep together and he was supposed to sleep alone. he didnt. he slept between the two of us. he scooped in my direction and hugged me, then kissed me, and we ended up making love on the other bed. I confessed to him that night before doing anything because I was a lil drunk, and he told me he kind of felt something similar. the next day he told me he did not, and that he didn't want to do it again.

months passed by and we continued having sex, I still felt the same way and I always cried after because I felt really bad and kind of used. one that, I was told by my friends that they saw him kissing his ex, and I felt horrible bc he didn't told me. he apologized and I forgave him, but he kept lying about everything, so I started to get really mad at him because he always came to me with the only motivation of affection and when he felt alone or had nothing else to do.

he always said sorry, and always did the same. I got really tired and demanded the respect I deserve, and told him that he never helped me when I needed him (which is true bc when I had 13 or smth I had no friends but him, I told him and asked him to spend more time together and he told me to get more friends).

and he got tired of me demanding that respect, so he started drifting away instead of trying to fix our friendship.

last week, I begged him to fix this, but he did not want to bc he has other friends now (that's literally what he told me) and bc Im always sad (remember he has depression, he recently almost had an attempt that I myself stopped)

his new bestie (f,18) is such a bad friend with her girlfriends, they personally told me, bc she always makes fun of them for male attention. and I told my friend this, and told him I was jealous bc she's so pretty and fun, but also she's a bad person and he should know it. and he said he already knew, but it is fine with him.

im devastated, bc I did everything I could to keep him by my side and cared for him all this time, and I don't understand what I lack. im so mad at him. and her. im so so soooo sad and mad. I wish I knew what he wanted me to do to be perfect for him. and now he's gone. I´ll love him all my life and he always told me he will too. but he doesn't even care a little about me. idk, im just so heartbroken.

thank you for reading <3 hope u have a wonderful day/sleep well

Written as letter to Ex.

Ex.,

I want to know why you treated me the way you do when you said you love me?

Why did you feel the need to play Hot & Cold?

All I asked for was for you to talk to me. Yet 3 days of no contact on the bases of an "I've been busy with work".

When you wouldn't text me at least once a day, I felt like I wasn't loved. I shared with you that my love language is words of affirmation. Yet you couldn't fulfill that role.

I asked you to break up with me. I broke up with you many times. Yet you always managed to bring me back in. It's my fault in the end. I came back of my own free will. I regret those choices.

I regret letting your pouting sway my decisions. Whenever I wouldn't give you adult touches, you'd pout in a corner... And like the weak person I was, I came back to "help" with that.

We're done, yet I still claim to have loved you. Did I love you? I honestly don't know. I definitely felt forced into loving you.

The live bombing wasn't great either whenever we went through a difficult time.

I moved outta state, while you were stuck in the state I left. Unable to come with me due to your restraints. I understand that. I texted you shorter texts because longer texts didn't seem to be ready. Then I only texted once per day, hoping you'd at least read and respond to me.

At some point you mentioned leaving this world, I sobbed. And I stayed.

Being in another state made me realize that this wasn't love. You did not love me.

In the beginning of our relationship we shared what we think love is. You said that love is putting another's needs before your own. Taking care of them. That was the only description you gave me.

My description of love was so long, but you didn't think that was real love. I wanted someone who would talk to me, cuddle with me without any further adult touches. I wanted someone would would be able to hold out doing all the way until my 4 month comfort limit. You took my V-card and I was happy in the moment, but after... I honestly felt sad... Like it was a goodbye thing.

I'm 23 forking year old, and always imagined my 1st time being with someone who truly cared about my boundaries and what I believe in.

Your compromises were that you'd choose were we lived. That's fine. And you compromised about us getting a cat. That's fine. But you'd use that against me whenever I asked for something that you didn't wanna do. The only thing that I specifically asked for is someone who shares their feelings, thoughts and opinions, as well as listening to mine. I also asked that intimacy be limited. And I should've known that it wouldn't work out when you said on our first date that your love language was physical touch. And I said to you that my least favorite love language was acts of service, yet that was your second favorite. I guess I was desperate to be loved. And I'll not make that mistake again. I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'll never date or be loved the way that I wish to be. Reality isn't a movie. And movies aren't reality. Yet, I've seen with my own two eyes that it can be through my close friend. Her life has had bumps in the road, but I see how much her love loves her... The way he looks at her and holds her. The way that he supports her in all her endeavors. And her book is also an inspiration. She's the one who helped me out of my past relationship cause she went through the same thing before.

People may say that I'm heartless for not giving my ex a chance. Well, the only chance he ever wanted to show me that he loved me was in-person. And I'd spend most of my time where I am now. So, I could not continue the relationship... Ended with cold turkey. Blocked and deleted. Again, some might say that's harsh and some might say, you were with him for only a few months... Give it time. But I've already lost so many years, and built up so many regrets.

I'm tired. I know love it out there. But the only love I'll ever truly see is through my bestie, books, and movies. And I'm honestly very happy for those who find their true loves, or loves that make you happy in the moment. I also may be jealous, but that is honestly a healthy emotion... In my opinion. Just as long as it doesn't control your life. Which I'm working on.

Goodnight everyone!!!

From, Me.