Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

This might sound a bit silly but really, I kinda need help combating with these weird thoughts

I’ve vented here before, and I really appreciated the support and perspectives others shared. But there’s something I brushed off before, as that was not the central topic of the previous vent and it wasn’t a big enough problem, until it started eating me today, and it’s become hard to ignore

I want to draw more than anything in the whole world. I’ve been drawing for 8 years, starting from the simple concept of a cube to a whole world of anthro animals/inanimates, silly creatures, all fantasy related, even evolving my old characters. From wolf-folk to living game controllers, it’s like a modern fantasy world, just like drawing was to me! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find myself drawing after having a lot of hardships, but after all the support I received recently, and even regaining access to Discord, I might give it a shot again, hell I would LOVE to try it again, but there’s something deeper blocking me: my envy…

Ever since 2020, I’ve started looking up to niche artists online—ones who draw stylized, humanoid non-human characters (anthros and such) with this barely-explainable aesthetic (Five-fingers, making it premium. They’re like exactly human characters but with the most notable parts of the item/animal, but there’s no valid name for it I could find, and it’s not furry and I ain’t one.) By the start of 2023, however, I noticed something weird about each new artist I became obsessed with, almost like a pattern but on different communities and social medias, and it’s not exactly what I asked each artist I admired to have and stuff that almost seemed to either taunt me or I just don’t know that it is an aesthetic that exists. Poetic blood in art, cigar(ettes), dangling shoes, the same obsessions in the same indie games, same online communities, same aesthetic. They even behaved in two ways: Overly cutesy and giddy, or kinda assholish and deadpan. The latest artist I started admiring checked all the boxes in a week, then today they revealed that not only are they obsessed with the same game, but also with the character that one of my favorite “niche” online artists designed. It almost feels like it’s not a coincidence coincidence and not inspiration or a neat fact. It suffocates me.

I tried emulating these kinds of artists for a long time, still having a subpar art style that tries to emulate the magic of those artists, but it always fails in several aspects, including the pose I want to strike. I am not motivated to draw, despite how much my heart tells me to. I’ve tried filling every similarity box while also bringing slight nerdism on technology and being nice to others. Why am I not having a proper consistent niche then? I’ve been forced to restart TWICE, not getting any better and always ending in failure. I want to be friends with those artists too, but I can’t get into their indie interests, let alone even talk to them normally just to be friends. I have met a few, and the closest to a friend would be one artist I commissioned twice. They offered me a Toyhouse code, but I just don’t know how to go about being publicly online. What if I screw up as bad as previously? It makes me so anxious. I want to have my own niche fandom, and I want to be nice to others, but others treat me like shit and attempt to drive me off the internet by spreading rumors about me and even grooming me.

Now, I have questions for you guys.

1. What would you do if you were me?

2. Have you guys ever felt the same weird connection between people you admire? If so:

a. Do you think it’s weird?

b. Do you feel more jealousy than admiration?

I’ve had a horrible couple months of being unemployed, procrastinating on school work to the point of failing, and overall going through a rough emotional headspace. I’ve taken this time to get to the root of the problem and really get to know myself and why exactly I feel the way I’ve been feeling for the past few years, it’s all been a cycle of going hard, burning out, and having nothing to show for it while everyone else seems to move along just fine… am I doing something wrong?

I have unmedicated ADHD so perhaps that has been quite an important step in realizing that my mental health and overall mental capacity is different to everyone else’s, and so it makes me feel so lonely and misunderstood especially when it comes to emotional topics, all my friends and family seem to turn away and not really get what I’m really trying to say.

Recently I had a huge fight with my mom about triggers and trauma and she kind of threw it in my face that I’m gay and that long story short; feels ashamed. I thought about it long and hard, and it made me feel even worse. All my friends have something to show for themselves and have a good support circle in their lives, meanwhile I feel like I have to come home alone and find solace in myself whenever I feel pain… I understand no one is coming to save me, but having something to call my own and fall back on would be so great…. I’m slowly but surely getting there, but I can’t help like I have to do it all alone.

I'm 22, a guy. I've had 5 proper friendships in my life.

First and second one in school, after I moved states. They lasted around 10 years until I got into a relationship. They hated my boyfriend, so I got ghosted and blocked everywhere.

Third was a girl in the city i live in now, after I moved out from my parent's house. We got along until she got more and more toxic. She was 18 at the time, she acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Insulted, bullied and humiliated others. I quit that frie4ndship. She stalked me for 9 months.

Fourth was with an ex of mine, after a year of being apart we got to talk again. He's a nice guy. I adore him, in a very platonic way. He's been ghosting me for 2 months now for no reason.

Last one just broke apart today. A friend of 6 years told me about his struggles. I've been there for him for weeks now since he was feeling bad, but i ran out of tips and tricks. Ran out of solutions, so i simply suggested he'd go back to his therapist, that's what she's there for after all. He ignored me for the day and then started insulting me, calling me names, and much worse. I blocked him.

22 years. and not a single lasting friendship because all people turn out to hate me, ghost me or be toxic. I'm giving up on friendship.

Three months ago, our family grew with the arrival of our first child. As expected, adjusting to this new life has been challenging for both my partner and me. Our little one hasn't started sleeping through the night yet, and we're both tackling full-time jobs again. In the past, dividing housework equally has worked well for us, but recently, my husband's efforts have been slipping.

For instance, he was responsible for cleaning the baby bottles one evening, and they were so poorly done that I had to wash them all over again. He accidentally dropped the breast pump parts into the garbage disposal and damaged them. Additionally, he has neglected to properly clean some clothes after our baby's messes, leading to permanent stains. These incidents have been increasing, and it's becoming frustrating.

I've tried discussing this with him gently, acknowledging that fatigue is a factor but stressing the need for care in our responsibilities. His response is always about how exhausted he is from balancing work with home duties. I’m empathetic because I'm also stretched thin from working, pumping, recovering postpartum, and managing our home and child. However, when he failed to refrigerate the breast milk I had pumped and it spoiled, I reached my limit.

He said he'd manage everything that evening so I could get some rest. Grateful, I went to bed only to discover the next morning that the milk had been left out. He apologized, mentioning he sat down to unwind with a TV show and unintentionally fell asleep. That's when I made a unilateral decision to cancel our streaming subscriptions, PlayStation Plus, and theme park passes to afford a housekeeper. My rationale was simple: if he's too tired for basic chores, he's too tired for video games or day trips as well. We still have cable and other leisure activities but I believed hiring help would allow us both to catch up on some much-needed rest.

The backlash from him was severe; he was angry that I made these changes without his input. I thought I was making a helpful decision for us under the circumstances.

If this scenario played out in a reality show, viewers might range from supportive to critical of my decision. Cameras amplifying our household tension and my drastic solution could lead to heated debates among fans on whether my actions were justified or if I should have sought more dialogue before cutting off entertainment as a means to introduce household help.

Am I wrong for hiring a housekeeper without discussing it first?

Eight years ago, after the birth of our twin children, my former partner and I decided to go our separate ways. We had been dating for just over a year when she became pregnant, and although we tried to stay together for the children, it wasn't meant to be. She soon found someone new and yearned to pursue that relationship. Our split, while peaceful, marked the beginning of a challenging co-parenting arrangement.

Initially, co-parenting went smoothly. However, when my ex remarried to a man who was also a single father, the dynamics began to shift. He had a daughter the same age as our twins and insisted that I should treat her as part of my family, expecting me to include her in gift-giving and outings with my own children. This demand complicated our interactions and subsequently led us to adopt a parallel parenting approach to avoid conflicts.

We share custody equally, and neither of us pays child support since we both have the children for equal amounts of time. I maintain a close bond with my twins and, during my allotted time, I focus on them without including the other children from their mother's household. Over time, their family has expanded to include a stepsister, a stepcousin who moved in three years ago, and a younger half-sister, adding more complexity to the family structure. Another child is possibly on the way.

The current disagreement stems from an upcoming class trip in November. The school our children attend is rather small, leading to shared classes between them and their stepsiblings. This trip, to an interactive museum, is quite costly, but I can afford it and my twins are excited to go. I decided to pay for them, but this decision didn't sit well with my ex and her husband. They felt that I should also pay for their stepsiblings' tickets or else let none of the children go. They argued this would avoid any feelings of exclusion and maintain family unity. I disagreed, emphasizing that it was my right and decision during my parenting time. This led to accusations from my ex’s husband that I was undermining their family dynamics and fostering resentment among the kids.

Do you support my decision? What do you think? Am I wrong?

idk it's like i'm just blank

it's hard to understand why people can be so mean at work, isn't it? i'm 23 and have been in a few different office settings, but every time, it’s like there’s this cloud of negativity hanging around. just last week, my coworker snapped at me over something trivial, saying, "if you can't handle simple tasks, maybe this isn't the right place for you." that hit more than it should have, but it seems to be the norm these days. instead of fostering teamwork and collaboration, it feels like everyone is constantly on edge, competing with each other rather than cheering each other on. i often find myself thinking about how important a positive work environment is. studies show that employees who feel appreciated and supported tend to be more productive and happy. how can we change this culture of meanness, though?

sometimes, it feels like we’re all in some sort of survival mode. i have a friend who works in retail, and she often talks about how customers can be just as harsh. it's not just the coworker drama; it's the pressure from clients or managers that seems to escalate the hostility. the other day, i overheard someone mention, "this isn’t high school anymore," as if that’s an excuse to treat people poorly. how ironic, right? i truly believe we should be uplifting one another. every little compliment or act of kindness can make a huge difference, like sharing a laugh or acknowledging someone’s effort on a project. what if we all just made an effort to spread some good vibes, instead of adding to the negativity? 🌼 i guess in a world that sometimes feels so cold, we could be the change we’d like to see.

Today I had a total meltdown at work and I asked to leave. I went home and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep living. How do people work normally all the time? I get so stressed and overwhelmed and breakdown. I have bad anxiety and depression so I don’t think that helps me at all. I just can’t do this anymore

I have about 4.6g of benadryl I'm prepared to take. Give me a reason not to. Not the stupid bullshit of "it'll get better" because it's not, my mental health is getting worse, my physical health is getting worse, and my thoughts have just been getting darker and darker. I'm stuck with my trauma, there's no getting around the ptsd, I can't get help for myself and when I try to reach out I just get told that I've gotten all the help they can give. The only other option really is getting committed but I would literally rather die than get committed and have to deal with everyone finding out + the costs. What reason do I have to live? I have my girlfriend but I just cause her more problems than the ones she already has, she's about it. My parents don't really care about me, and I use and manipulate my friends too much they'd be better without me being around.

growing up, I always had this invisible wall between me and my mother. it felt like we were living in parallel universes, occasionally crossing paths but never truly connecting. whenever she tried to engage in conversations, I'd nod politely, but inside, I was rolling my eyes. like, can we skip the small talk? all that lecturing about grades, friends, and future plans just seemed so repetitive and unnecessary. I honestly don’t get where she’s coming from. it’s like she has this idea of who I should be, and I’m just not that guy. making stupid comments about my interests, questioning my music choices, or telling me what I should wear feels like she’s trying to control a life that’s not hers to dictate. sometimes, I wonder if she realizes how much her opinions push me away. does she think I’ll suddenly become the person she envisions if she keeps nagging? honestly, I think it just makes me resent her more. 😒

I know being a parent is tough, and she has her struggles, but does that mean I have to put up with her constant nagging? sometimes I just want to scream, "I don't like you!" I don’t mean that in a harsh way, just in a way that describes how utterly frustrated I am. it feels like she judges everything I do, which honestly makes me feel trapped in a box I never asked to be in. when I try to express my thoughts, she brushes them off as teenage nonsense, which drives me up the wall. I mean, can’t we have a real discussion without her immediately shooting down my feelings? I’m just trying to figure things out, but it feels like she can’t see that. does she even realize how alienating her comments are? it’s exhausting. 😩 so, is it too much to ask for a little understanding and respect in our relationship?

This is going to be shorter than what I've written before.

I live with my cousins. They're nice. I live in their rental home. It's "nice". It's a bit crowded. Filled to the brim with art, art supplies, paper, and dog hair. It's "nice".

I look forward to being in their new Mini-mansion.

They're nice enough to let me stay there for the time being, until I become a decent human being. Not a potatoes/blank canvas.

They're building their new home from the ground up... It's been over a year due to their old home having the thingy in the walls that's toxic... I can't remember what it's called. It's in really old homes though.

Anyway, their new home is huge! It'll be done around April, May, or June?

They're letting me stay in the guest bedroom and I get to design it however I want!!

It's super big for a guest bedroom, and I'm not used to that. I sorta grew up poor till my parent passed away. And they took me in.

My room has 12 foot ceilings!! I feel super tiny in that room. I'm 4 foot 11 inches tall by the way.

I have a walk-in closet, which I've never had. I don't even have enough clothes to fill one of the walls in the walk-in closet. They said, "it'll be full in no-time". Like, what the fork does that mean!?

I have my own bathroom attached to my room, which my old bathroom was actually a powder room in my old home.

They have a music room, library, pool, a huge kitchen with a huge island. A 4 car garage!

It's crazy!!

Not to mention my cousin has a balcony!!! The stairs seemed like an odd choice for me though? Considering my cousin has a bad knee, yet her room is on the top floor. And my room is the only one on the bottom floor.

My cousins also have a very loud dog. So they made the house more soundproof. The dog is super, super, SUPER loud... But my family loves the big lug!!

There's 2 living spaces as well, and they have this huge TV! TV's will also apparently be in all the bedrooms, which I wasn't aware that that was a thing?

The temperature will probably be the main issue between me and my cousins, since I run very, very, very warm, unless I specifically stay outside for a long period of time in the cold. Inside a house though... 50°F is my comfy temperature. Cold showers unless it's winter. Then it would be semi-warm, semi-cold. The only time I have a hot shower... Is if I'm sick. And those hot showers last shorter, due to hot temperatures causing me muscle pain. I don't know why?

Anyway, back to their home... Again, it's huge!! I get a nice view of the backyard!

Also, where I'm living now, my cousins say that screen windows aren't a thing here... But where I'm from... They are. So, it'll be interesting to have the windows open like a princess... Or keep them open like those old HS/College movies where the guy, or girl climbs in through the window! That never could've happened back where I used to live due to me being on the 3rd floor, and screen windows. Plus, all my neighbors knew me, and would probably report to my mom if a boy hopped through my screen window!

My room can fit a King size bed. Which I used to have a trundle twin size bed. I was actually a good foot smaller than the length of the trundle. So, I'd be pretty small in a king-size bed. It laughable honestly. I have started to enjoy my height and comparing my height to people and things around me gives me a good laugh!

Also, my family aren't that tall either. The only male in the house(the dad figure) it around 5 foot 7 inches tall. The mother figure is shorter than me, but she says she's 5 foot 3 inches tall... So let's just say she is. And their eldest daughter is 5 foot 2 inches. And their youngest daughter is around the same height as me, maybe an inch taller at the moment? She's still growing. Though I stopped growing at 12 years old, so who knows when she'll stop growing?

Anyway, back to the house again. They'll also have citrus trees in their backyard and groundskeepers. I love oranges... So... ORANGES!!! They're pool is definitely interesting. Large pool, tiny warm pool. I don't know how to spell the warm pool. The tiny warm pool can probably fit 2 people of my size.

I look forward to deciding what I'd want for my room. I can't really decided exactly? I like the Chinese style in terms of pattern choices. But I also like Art Deco. But their home is sorta old/classic French. With those bird wall papers. My cousin loves those bird wall papers that are seen in classic French homes. But they're mixing brasses for their art deco look. My cousins doesn't really like sharp lines, so those are the 2 styles she's chosen.

I like the feng shui layout, but my room doesn't allow for that. My room has 2 large windows, but the space between the windows doesn't allow for their to be a bed in between. And if I face my bed on the other wall... I'll be facing the entrance door. And if my bed is on that same wall and I lay on my right side... I'm face-to-face with the bathroom door.

My cousins said that I could keep the lights on in my room when I sleep, as I can't sleep unless my room is as bright as a star. They only said that I had to limit my shower time. Since my usual shower time at my old home was 2 hours long. I can't do that with my cousins.

They also have a fire place somewhere in the house. I can't remember where. All I know is that means s'mores!!!

I think I'll end it hear. I'm tired. Sleepy. Sleepy. And tired.

Eat good food and drink lots of water!!!

I'm feeling really confused at this point. What are we? WHAT ARE WE??? We exchange pictures, give each other words of affirmation, and are open and vulnerable with one another. What's worse is that he sees me as a friend. I'm his FRIEND. I don't necessarily want to be his girlfriend or anything—I'm sure neither of us is ready for that—and he doesn't view me that way. But AGHHHHHH! You can't say, "You're like a flower that hasn't bloomed. You just haven't had room to reach your full potential," and then follow it up with, "Love you too, buddy 🤍🤍." The white hearts indicate platonic love. He does send me red hearts too, but not as often as the white ones. He told me that I had restored his faith in humanity since we met, and that he had stopped looking for someone else. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

I want to be in a relationship with him, but I'm not ready, and it's not possible for us right now. Yet, does he really not have feelings for me at all? He mentioned that he can't really feel romantic emotions. I understand that, but it feels contradictory given everything he just told me. Help please.

I’m just really tired and I wanted somewhere to vent that wasn’t to someone I knew, and it was better than my notes app. For the past 6 years I was severely abused in every sense of the word. I got raped at 14 in my school bathroom, and then it just kept happening from different people. I’m in college now which is weird. I moved out. Moved across the country and I just don’t feel better. I got assaulted again here. And then I was dating this guy for a few months and found out he was just using me for sex and he told me he never cared about me. Then I got pregnant and miscarried. He doesn’t know. Barely any of my friends do and they think I’m joking. I relapsed so bad that my wrists from elbows are coated. And I’ve been talking to this guy that I really like but I think he just wants sex too. I’m so sick of that being my only place of worth or value. I deserve more I just can’t find it. Anyways the guy that got me pregnant and doesn’t know texted me last night. I went over to his place and he just cried and apologized for everything for hours. It kind of made me spiral and crash out. My ex girlfriend who I never really got over also followed me on instagram so that’s insane. It just feels like no matter what I decide it’s the wrong decision and like everything is always my fault.

Alright, so I'm 39 and trying not to freak out, but it's hard not to feel like something ominous is scribbled across my life's blueprint. could it be the algorithm of stress, or maybe just the faulty wiring in my overthinking brain? the days scrape by and I've got this stupid itch, like a ticker tape in my head whispering "tick-tock, hun, something's coming." you ever stand in the shower and just watch the water swirl down the drain while wondering if you're circling right down with it??? bizarre, right? but seriously, what the hell is this gut-churning sense of doom that just lounges in my living room like it pays rent?

i blame it on the 'midlife crisis' stigma, which surely must be some twisted rite of passage. but i don't own a convertible or an absurdly-priced leather jacket, just a morbid fascination with my own mortality. is there an existential influencer somewhere saying, "and now you'll dread your birthday cake candles"? at this age, you'd think I'd have unlocked some dispassionate wisdom from life's inventory, but nah, feels like i'm playing a video game with a walkthrough written in pencil!!! like howdy, could someone patch this glitch, please? no cheat codes here, just wish I could delete this morose save file, you know?

but here's the thing, if i dust off my therapist's favorite cliches, it's like hitting pause and rebooting with optimism... "change is good!" or that irritating serene vibe of "you've got this." tedious but they might be onto something!!! i mean, statistically, with all the variables, I could live to garden with my grandkids, dodging any hardware bug life throws my way. don't you think it's hilarious how we can be both the protagonist and the heckler in our life’s script? maybe we're all just late-night telethon hosts, presenting dramatic predictions about the apocalypse of our souls. pfft, if i can troubleshoot systems as complicated as my own, enjoying that last cookie guilt-free seems doable enough. maybe, just maybe, this isn't some final destination trailer after all, but just a low-budget pilot for figuring out what it means to really live!