Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm in my early 20's. Yet I've wasted my life. As I've moved from the place I've called home for many years. I realized that everything I did there was for other people's approval, appreciation, and opinions. Now, as I'm not there, I just feel lost. I don't know what I want for my major, nor what my interests are. I know damn well what I don't like, and many people say that that's a start. But I'm honestly worried that I'll never make any friends due to the fact that I honestly don't know what I like. I have no passions. No interests. And it's hard for me to be interested in other people on a genuine level, since I don't know what I'm interested. Most people wanna be friends with others with the same interest. But how do people become friends with someone who lacks interests? And I mean genuine interests. As I've said, I've lived me life for other people, and I don't know where to start for myself. Trust me, I've try many things, but again, they weren't for me, but for others. I guess I could list the things I've tried, but it would make it seem like I'm a lost cause! I've tried, hip-hop/crump dance, jazz dance, 4 years of ballet, tap dance, painting, drawing, pottery, singing, playing guitar, playing the djembe drum, playing the ukulele, playing the harmonica(I only tried that one 3 times, and never again), baking, cooking, paper mashé, learning ASL(American Sign Language), fashion design, jewelry design, makeup stuff(I didn't like it after a while), math at one point(never again!!!), proper ways to clean, learning about different books(even though I haven't read them)... Simply to interact with those book lovers, same goes for movies and TV, there's a lot I haven't seen, but I can somewhat carry on a conversation with the same conviction that the fans of those franchises do. And the list goes on of what I've tried and ended up not really liking. The only things that I refuse to engage in are horror movies, books, and TV, spicy food, sea food, winter sports(other than ice skating), and anything to do with Winston Churchill. Other than that, I really don't know what I enjoy.

Why does my girl best friend always constantly stay with her boyfriend even when he always lies to her and doesn’t spend much time with her( just for context both of them are my best friends I had been best friends with my boy best friend before they got together)

So let’s just call my girl best friend Amy and my boy best friend Ethan

So Amy always complains to me that Ethan is always hiding his phone and she eventually gets to the bottom of it where he has got pictures of girls on his phone and he is lying about having them, she has “broken up” with him too many times and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t know what to tell her anymore coz I say to her it’s up to you what you do it’s not my relationship, she still goes back to him and forgives him but how many times is she going to repeat the same things all the time and she gets mad, upset and even blocks him and then unblocks him and then is all perfectly normal with him the next day , he always gets annoyed at me or take it out on me if he is frustrated about something but never his own girlfriend like I’m his best friend not a verbal punch bag, she never confronts him about it because she will get upset about how he will react, she doesn’t confront about him about certain things coz he always reacts the same he gets in a mood with her, he says I’m not doing this, I’m not listening to what you are saying because you are constantly going on,a woman has the right to say what she is feeling and if it is bothering her then she should be able to talk about it without someone getting annoyed about it or doesn’t want to listen because men know they are in the wrong they just don’t care, so what do I do about this guys

My parents are good people but it’s just that I can’t feel that spark of familiarity with them even though they are my biological parents. And I just don’t know what to do

My daughter is just over a year and I am a SAHM right now. She has been having a really rough go lately and just wants to be clung to me 24/7. I love her and the cuddles but I can’t get anything done when I try to leave the room and she screams and cries. When she is in the same room she’s trying to climb my legs or stand in front of me so it makes cooking and cleaning a challenge. I sometimes put her in the carrier and wear her on my front but she is heavy so I can’t do it for too long. I know this will pass and she is probably just getting sick or teething again but I am just so worn out. When I try to express this to my partner he sees it as oh I’m home all day it can’t be that bad. I understand he works long hours but that just makes me feel undervalued and invalidated

i've never been more alone than before. my social circle has been getting smaller and smaller over the years. i recently got into a fight/discussion with one of my two only friends which i also had a situationship and i'll likely never ever going to talk to him again (he was venting to me about a situation and i was too sincere about that and plainly mean, i accept the fact it's purely my fault). i've been really angry about that and it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked, I don't ever want to see him again really because even if i was mean, he didn't thought about my feelings since he literally abandoned me at my worst and he knew it, but i miss him... i miss him so much.

the other one doesn't talks to me nor reply to my messages, i've known her for like 7-8 years, we have always been great friends, but something i feel it's that i need her more than she needs me, and we both know it, and the only reason they have been my friend for so long it's because she doesn't wants to hurt me and make me commit suicide (i had attempts before, and she was there for me at those times and she was kinda the only reason I didn't). i've been growing paranoid about this, I don't want to get fully alone and I haven't talked to anyone at all for like 2 days straight. i feel that nobody has ever liked me at all. i feel desperate, so desperate. i'd like to make more friends, but i'm socially anxious and nobody really gets me at all, just them. martina is literally the person that makes me feel safe, understood, she's my sister of another mom, she's the only person that has ever understood me and the only one i can trust, but if it was all fake all along? i'm crying as i think about it, at the fact that maybe my love has always been unilateral and our bond was fake all along. i've created my whole point of view and philosophy around her, and the fact i never fully understood why she was my friend. that maybe it was part of my destiny to know her here and every other life i had, for us to be siblings... that idea has been shattering lately, and it's destroying my whole life, what little remains of it... i'm so alone, I don't know what to do anymore

i hate that i still think about him every damn day. like seriously, what the actual hell is wrong with me?? it’s been almost a year now, and yet my brain still plays back the same damn memories like a broken-ass record. we broke up for good reasons—he was selfish, emotionally unavailable, and let’s be real, kinda manipulative—but here i am, stuck on this dude like he was the love of my damn life. i know better!! i tell myself all the time that it’s not love anymore, it’s just habit, it’s just comfort, blah blah blah, but none of that seems to help when i see something that reminds me of him and i instantly feel like shit. and what pisses me off the most is that he’s probably doing great, not even sparing me a single thought, while i’m out here spiraling over some random t-shirt he left at my place or that stupid playlist we used to drive around to. 😒

i’ve tried everything. blocking him didn’t help, just made me feel more pathetic because i still checked his socials through a fake account. going out with friends works... for like five minutes until someone mentions his name or something vaguely related and boom, my brain’s back in hell. even dated other guys and guess what? they all felt like filler characters in a story that’s already ended. like i was just going through the motions. one of them even told me i wasn’t really present and yeah, no shit dude. i’m trying but it’s like i’m stuck in emotional cement. and don’t get me wrong, i don’t miss how he made me feel like i was never enough or the stupid games he played when he was “too busy” to call. i miss the small, dumb shit like how he always brought me red bull without asking or how he said my name when he was half asleep. isn’t that just sick?? how can i know someone’s bad for me and still crave their attention like some love-starved idiot???

so yeah, tell me this—why the f*ck can’t i get over him?? is there some switch i forgot to flip? am i broken or just brainwashed from being treated like trash for so long that now i think it’s the norm? i try to analyze it, journal it, scream it into a pillow, and nothing changes. maybe i’m just terrified that no one else will get me the way he did... even if the “getting me” part came with a truckload of emotional damage. maybe it’s not really about him at all, maybe it’s about how i felt when i was with him—like i mattered, like someone chose me, even if he dropped me just as quick. i don’t know. all i know is this mess inside my chest won’t go away and i’m tired of pretending like i’m fine. if you’ve been through this—how the hell did you finally let go??? 💔

Do you believe in the love languages ✨👀? I personally think they make things easier to categorize😊. And there are intricate meanings and experiences that stem from each love language. Plus, the interpretations of them can be very different for different people🤷🏻‍♀️❤️.

Love languages: Quality time, physical touch, gift giving, words of affirmation, and acts of service.

And a single person could have multiple love languages, or different levels of each love language📈📉.

My first, that I can think of is quality time⏳. The time I spend with my partner would make me feel appreciated and loved. And knowing that they have their schedules figured out to plan time with me would be most appreciated😍🙏🏻✨(I'm single BTW, 2025).

My 2nd love language that most people don't have as their 1st or 2nd(that I'm aware of)... Is words of affirmation. Most people say that they believe actions only... I also believe in actions... But I personally wanna date someone who knows how to express how they feel about me whether that be positive or negative feedback depending on the situation. I like the whole poet sh*t and the kinda person who isn't afraid to share a silly dad joke(even when they're not actually a dad)😂!!

I'm gonna skip the others and just go to my least favorite... Acts of service... I just can't🫠. I am aware of my aloofness and I've been around friends and family who have this love language as their number 1 or number 2. I just can't. I can't fully understand when someone needs my help unless they verbalize it... Which is frustrating for me cause I haven't met anyone with this love language as their 1 or 2 who is good at asking for help rather than expecting someone to see them struggling and automatically helping them. I'm just not that person... Nor would I want that for myself🙃.

Anyway... I'm super, super curious about other people's opinions and comments on this subject... Cause it's fascinating to me, whether one believes this or not.

Also, a side note ....... FOOD IS NOT A LOVE LANGUAGE!!!! Food items technically categorizes under acts of service or gift giving. Just wanted to put my opinion of that out there before someone tells me that their love language is FOOD🤣!!

During my early years at a university known for its diverse student body, I had the fortune of being assigned a dorm room with a variety of international students. At 25 years old, the experience was eye-opening and educational in more ways than one. In our freshman dorm, the university's apparent pattern was to room one Caucasian, one American person of color, and one international student together in a triple setup. I ended up in such a trio, sharing my space with a girl from Ivory Coast. We weren't initially close, but as time went by, we bonded over common interests and shared courses, eventually deciding to room together until I moved into an apartment in my junior year.

Her beautiful hair and radiant skin always caught my eye. It wasn't just a superficial admiration; I was genuinely curious about her care regimen. She revealed that she primarily used natural ingredients such as aloe vera and shea butter. Intrigued, I took her advice and started incorporating these into my own routine. My hair and skin health improved remarkably, all thanks to her. After college, she returned to Ivory Coast, but we remained in contact, sharing stories and updates about our lives.

With the growth of my YouTube channel, which currently has around 5,000 subscribers, I began receiving numerous comments inquiring about my hair and skin care products. Inspired, I decided to create a video detailing my routines, crediting my friend from Ivory Coast for her invaluable advice. However, when I discussed this plan with my current roommate, who is Afro-Latinx, she accused me of cultural appropriation. She argued that by making the video, I would overshadow numerous beauty channels run by people of color, potentially lead to increased demand and prices for the natural products, making them inaccessible for some communities. Her words, labeling me a "colonizer," strained our relationship significantly.

If this situation unfolded in a reality TV show setting, the dynamics and reactions would likely be amplified. The cameras and audience could potentially skew perceptions, heightening drama around the accusations of cultural appropriation. Viewers might be divided, with some sympathizing with my intention to share helpful beauty tips, while others might side with my roommate, viewing my actions as insensitive to cultural origins and implications.

I only seen to attract the wrong type of friends. They’re always manipulative or toxic or self centered and such. One of my friends called me names as a joke, another one ghosted me, another one uses me to get stuff from teachers, another one made fun of me when I called my mom because I was fainting in class, another one called me a snitch for telling her about my mother’s affair that has been heavy on me, another one gossiped about me behind my back, one is flirting with my crush, another one laughed off my mental health. I don’t know if I should have friends anymore. All my friends are like that and I don’t have family members who I can confide in and now I just feel lonely and pathetic. What should I do?

Growing up, I thought that I had ambition to pursue whatever it is that I wanted. I bought into the illusion that if I evolved into an educated person, I could succeed in whatever I do. That was when I thought all else was equal.

As I grew older, the more I learned about my place in the world. After I reached for my family's tax returns to file for college financial aid, I became almost obsessively aware of poor we were and how much I was so much different my peers at school. I did a good job of hiding it, but I was deeply insecure of how my background compared to other people. This shame carried onto my time in college, where I became reclusive because of my own comparison of myself with the people I met.

My family has never really went on a vacation; we own a house so small that my brother has to set his bed in the living room; our house freezes in the winter because of window drafts and high heating costs; I purposely stay on campus longer than I need to so that I don't have to feel cold at home; my dad has a gambling addiction. In elementary school, I stole books because books were too expensive to purchase; we don't celebrate my family members' birthdays or any major holidays because of the expenses.

Themore and more time goes by, I feel my self-confidence slipping as I compare myself with other people. It feels like my starting line is below sea level, and I'm drowning.

So I've had problems with SH in the past. It's gotten really bad now, and it's all on my legs so it's easier to hide from my parents. My mom thought she took all the sharp objects out of my room, but, well... my pencil sharpener. I took the blade out. I started feeling ashamed of who I am, so I might've written a couple things with the blade (I wrote "Kpop," "LGBTQ," and a therian symbol) then put an X through them. And on the other leg... I wrote smt I don't want to share. One of the things is still bleeding and I couldn't find a bandaid big enough to cover it so I used toilet paper and fucking packing tape to cover it and make a makeshift bandage.

ok not rn but in 2 years :D like everyone’s keep saying the ‘economy so horrible’, ‘no one’s hiring’ bro I don’t want to imagine how it will be in 2 years 😭 well it could be much better? Well like how should I prepare right now to get myself a job when I graduate??

Written as letter to Ex.

Ex.,

I want to know why you treated me the way you do when you said you love me?

Why did you feel the need to play Hot & Cold?

All I asked for was for you to talk to me. Yet 3 days of no contact on the bases of an "I've been busy with work".

When you wouldn't text me at least once a day, I felt like I wasn't loved. I shared with you that my love language is words of affirmation. Yet you couldn't fulfill that role.

I asked you to break up with me. I broke up with you many times. Yet you always managed to bring me back in. It's my fault in the end. I came back of my own free will. I regret those choices.

I regret letting your pouting sway my decisions. Whenever I wouldn't give you adult touches, you'd pout in a corner... And like the weak person I was, I came back to "help" with that.

We're done, yet I still claim to have loved you. Did I love you? I honestly don't know. I definitely felt forced into loving you.

The live bombing wasn't great either whenever we went through a difficult time.

I moved outta state, while you were stuck in the state I left. Unable to come with me due to your restraints. I understand that. I texted you shorter texts because longer texts didn't seem to be ready. Then I only texted once per day, hoping you'd at least read and respond to me.

At some point you mentioned leaving this world, I sobbed. And I stayed.

Being in another state made me realize that this wasn't love. You did not love me.

In the beginning of our relationship we shared what we think love is. You said that love is putting another's needs before your own. Taking care of them. That was the only description you gave me.

My description of love was so long, but you didn't think that was real love. I wanted someone who would talk to me, cuddle with me without any further adult touches. I wanted someone would would be able to hold out doing all the way until my 4 month comfort limit. You took my V-card and I was happy in the moment, but after... I honestly felt sad... Like it was a goodbye thing.

I'm 23 forking year old, and always imagined my 1st time being with someone who truly cared about my boundaries and what I believe in.

Your compromises were that you'd choose were we lived. That's fine. And you compromised about us getting a cat. That's fine. But you'd use that against me whenever I asked for something that you didn't wanna do. The only thing that I specifically asked for is someone who shares their feelings, thoughts and opinions, as well as listening to mine. I also asked that intimacy be limited. And I should've known that it wouldn't work out when you said on our first date that your love language was physical touch. And I said to you that my least favorite love language was acts of service, yet that was your second favorite. I guess I was desperate to be loved. And I'll not make that mistake again. I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'll never date or be loved the way that I wish to be. Reality isn't a movie. And movies aren't reality. Yet, I've seen with my own two eyes that it can be through my close friend. Her life has had bumps in the road, but I see how much her love loves her... The way he looks at her and holds her. The way that he supports her in all her endeavors. And her book is also an inspiration. She's the one who helped me out of my past relationship cause she went through the same thing before.

People may say that I'm heartless for not giving my ex a chance. Well, the only chance he ever wanted to show me that he loved me was in-person. And I'd spend most of my time where I am now. So, I could not continue the relationship... Ended with cold turkey. Blocked and deleted. Again, some might say that's harsh and some might say, you were with him for only a few months... Give it time. But I've already lost so many years, and built up so many regrets.

I'm tired. I know love it out there. But the only love I'll ever truly see is through my bestie, books, and movies. And I'm honestly very happy for those who find their true loves, or loves that make you happy in the moment. I also may be jealous, but that is honestly a healthy emotion... In my opinion. Just as long as it doesn't control your life. Which I'm working on.

Goodnight everyone!!!

From, Me.

I’m on vacation in Europe with my husband. We’ve been together for 14 years, and this is our first trip without the kids. We hoped this two-week getaway would rekindle our relationship, but we’re now on day 9, and things haven’t gone as planned. We’ve only had sex once, and that was while drunk, feeling like we forced it. Our sex life has struggled since having children, and it got worse after my husband admitted he loves me but isn’t sexually attracted to me anymore, which hurt since I’ve gained over 100lbs in the past three years.

We’re staying at a stunning 5-star resort with a private pool and terrace, but my husband has been critical of everything – the hotel, staff, food, and other guests. Five days ago, a young British couple moved into the room next to us. They’re very attractive, and we can see their terrace from ours. Since their arrival, we’ve heard them having sex twice a day and seen them being very affectionate on their terrace, with the woman often sunbathing topless. It’s hard for me to get used to.

My husband quickly befriended them, and it feels like he’s lusting after the woman next door, though she seems oblivious. I’ve spoken to them, and they seem nice. Two nights ago, I was woken by their loud sex noises and asked the concierge to have them quiet down. The next evening, the man next door angrily confronted my husband, who didn’t know I had reported it, leading to a big argument between us.

My husband called me ridiculous and a prude, saying if I were more carefree, we wouldn’t have issues. When I mentioned his interest in the woman next door, he said, "Why wouldn’t I? She’s young, thin, and hot," clearly a dig at me. He angrily walked around the room and went to sleep in silence.

This morning, I woke up to a text from him saying he went on a hike alone, something we had decided not to do. Since he returned, we’ve hardly spoken and decided to order room service instead of going out for dinner.

Am I wrong for complaining about the couple next door? Or is he wrong for leaving me alone in the hotel all day on vacation? How would you react if this was a reality show?

you know, at 50, one imagines life with a bit more zest. instead, i find myself clocking in to a job where i literally have nothing to do. "getting paid to do nothing" is, strangely enough, as dreary as it sounds. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the paycheck arriving steadily at my bank every two weeks like clockwork, but, man, can you believe the drag of it? when you're expected to produce, to innovate, you feel like a cog in a productive machine. but here, it’s like waiting for a bus that never comes, you know? a project deadline that's perpetually "in-progress," that’s my life now. i've got all the time in the world to binge-watch every show on Netflix or memorize entire catalogues of podcasts, yet—spoiler alert—it does not fill the void.

ever tried to detail your productivity in a team meeting, while knowing you have zilch to show? i sit there, nodding my head to folks discussing "quarterly KPIs" and "optimized strategies,” but inside i’m just hoping nobody asks for updates. a part of me thinks perhaps this is a lesson in patience or maybe even a karmic cycle from when i was overly busy and craved some downtime. irony, huh? sometimes i wonder if my situation is like one of those zen stories where when you seek nothing, you find everything. i mean, have you ever thought that maybe pointless tasks are just undiscovered forms of meditation? albeit ‘corporate zen’ sounds more plausible in theory, it doesn't feel entirely satisfying in practice. would love to hear if anyone else is dealing with workplace ennui. maybe trying to merge this twilight zone of nothingness with fulfilling activities outside work is the key. have any of y’all gotten out of a rut like this before? share some wisdom, would you?