Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I never really thought about this before, but now that I’m reflecting on a lot of my behaviors and what triggers a shopping spree, I noticed I never really feel an urge to shop in person. It’s almost like the instant gratification is something I avoid, because the waiting/tracking makes it more satisfying. I think I’m addicted to the process, really. You see “the” item, it’s perfect, it’s the last thing you’ll need in a while. Actually, it’s the whole outfit you’re iso, I mean the top might not look as good if it wasn’t styled the same way right? This way you can be sure you stop for a while. You scroll for hours and hours finding the perfect item. The hunt has your heart beating just a little faster, you feel good. Along the way you see a couple more items you like, you add it to the bag. You need the perfect top for that event next weekend right? After all, it’s the only thing that would go with what you plan to wear. The total keeps racking up. Unbeknownst to you, because you’re too excited to check or think about exactly how much you’re spending. At this point, you’re beginning to feel a little guilty because you spent a little more than you could afford earlier this week. But that’s okay, because you need more long sleeves for winter right? You’ll get good use out of that extra top. You go to check out, you begin to feel nervous and paranoid about spending the money. This is will be the last time. You hit “checkout”. You’re entering your card information but you’re not really thinking clearly, it hasn’t truly set in. The part of you that wants these items so badly tells you you can’t live without them.

It’s been a couple days, and by now you’ve received your items. You’ve opened them up (or not). Your excitement has kind of fizzled out at this point. You’re happy, but you’re nowhere near as elated as you were when you were checking that tracking number every couple hours.

A day or two goes by, or maybe it was just an hour. you’re scrolling endlessly through social media again, and that’s when you see it. You’ve finally found “The item”.

Then the process repeats itself, and the funny thing is that you’re still convinced you’re going to “quit for good this time”. It’s really an awful cycle!!

I sometimes wonder, what if I was on a reality show about shopping addiction? How would people react to my habits being broadcasted? Would they understand or judge me harshly? It's scary to think about, but maybe it would help me break free from this cycle.

I hate being self aware. I already know all the answers to my problems, how to improve it, and what is holding me back. All I want is someone who makes me feel safe to share my problems with. However, my country is a place where mental illness is a taboo and a joke. I wish someone would tell me something I don't know about myself lol.

im so sick of feeling this way all the time. like evry day i wake up n theres this tight feelin in my chest like somethings gonna go wrong. i cant even remember the last time i felt calm or normal, its jus anxious anxious anxious all day long. its not jus anxiety either tho, im angry all the time too. like little things set me off, stuff that shouldnt even matter makes me so mad i could scream. n then i feel guilty for bein angry at ppl who probly dont even kno wat they did. its like theres somethin broken in my head n i cant fix it no matter wat i do.

school used to be alright but now its the worst. i cant concentrate in class, i jus sit there worryin bout stuff i cant control. if the teacher calls on me, i panic, like my mind goes totally blank n i feel like everyones starin at me thinkin im stupid. then when class ends i get angry at myself for not tryin harder, for bein weak, for lettin anxiety win again. i kno i need to calm down but tellin myself that jus makes me even more angry. i jus wanna be normal. i jus wanna not feel like im constantly gonna explode or cry or both at the same time.

my friends r startin to notice too i think. like they ask me whats wrong n i dont even kno wat to tell them. how do u say "im jus anxious n angry all the time for no reason" without soundin crazy?? so instead i jus say "im fine" even tho we all kno im not. n sometimes they say stuff like "just chill" or "u gotta relax" n it makes me mad cuz dont they kno if i could jus chill i would?? they dont get it. nobody gets it. its like im alone even when im wit ppl. n then im mad at myself for bein lonely too, like why cant i jus be grateful i even hav friends who care enough to ask.

i kno i probly need help but i dont even kno where to start. talkin to my parents feels impossible cuz they jus say stuff like "its jus a phase" or "stop bein dramatic." but wat if its not jus a phase? wat if im stuck feelin anxious n angry forever? i dunno how much longer i can keep pretendin everythings ok when its rlly not. im jus tired, like rlly tired. tired of feelin this way n tired of fightin wit myself all the time. i jus wish someone could understand how hard it is, how it feels like im losin myself a little bit every single day.

I'm questioning whether I'm in the wrong here or just being financially prudent. I appreciate any help you can offer.

My two daughters, Maya and Jenna, have different interests and strengths. Maya is the older one, a sophomore in high school who is exceptionally hardworking and bright. She's thriving at a costly private school, where we decided to send her after seeing her potential in middle school. She has exceeded our expectations academically.

Jenna, on the other hand, is in eighth grade and is eagerly talking about the art program at the same private school. She's a wonderfully kind person and talented in art. However, our local public high school also has a strong art program. Jenna isn't as driven as Maya, especially in STEM subjects, and she's pretty average in her English and History classes.

We sat down with Jenna yesterday to explain why we think the private school isn't the right fit for her, unlike for Maya. Jenna burst into tears, believing this meant we didn't love her as much or value her talents. Despite our reassurances of our love and her talents, she felt sidelined. Jenna even suggested exploring other arts-focused programs, but we didn’t encourage it, considering the cost against the perceived benefit. Maya has a likely shot at top universities, something we don’t see paralleled for Jenna until possibly art school after high school. Jenna accused us of favoring Maya over her. The situation escalated when Maya intervened, threatening to quit going to her school unless Jenna could join her. Both my wife and I think their reactions are typical teenage drama.

Imagining if this was all unfolding on a reality TV show, the audience might view my wife and I as either practical or overly harsh. The drama and tension of siblings possibly being split between schools could certainly draw sympathy for Jenna, while others might commend our straightforward approach to planning and expenses. It could be a mixed bag of reactions, with viewers potentially heatedly debating our parenting decisions.

How would you feel if your parents favored your sibling over you?

I'm a 20-year-old woman and im living with my parents while at collage since I can't afford a place to live also i live not that far from it. I love my stepfather a lot, he's been there in my life more that my biological father, which I am forever grateful. But sometimes his anger when i do some wrong, thinking i said something and i said something else or forget things, is too much. When I was younger, living with him, I was crying all the time because of how he screamed at me. Like i think i developed so many insecurity and anxiety of it. Now that I am older and talked to him about it, he always says “That is how i always talk, you should be used to it by now" And i am used to it im so numbed by it i just cry and block out whatever he says really even though i get that hes genuine criticizing me. I think he's frustrated of staying at home and not working and our economic troubles, that's why I try to help with paying stuff.

Sorry for the writing im just exhausted also I've made a routine of doing chores at the house so he doesn't call me out on it again. Then he comes and says, "why you always act like a robot”

Also, English is not my first language so there's might be some inconsistencies there's more i want to say but i have to do some assignments bye <3

so I was just like sleeping in band class right? I wake up, and my 'friend'(are we even still friends? I dunno) takes the stand in front of me. out of curiosity I look to the stand next to them and go 'what about this one?'. they explain to me that it was broken and we leave it at that. however they'd been sort of purposefully avoiding talking to me{?) and so I ask 'hey are you mad at me?' pretty obviously I was scared, due to being brought up in an environment where everyone was mad at me all the time for no reason and caused me to have heavy people pleasing tendencies. then they started going off on me about how I always think people are mad at me and blah blah blah. thing is, they KNOW about my home life. but like they're being nice to all the other friends they abandoned me for. so I dunno.

My school has started, but it's online. I'm in 9th now. And right now, why not expect this? Everyone acts so serious about their careers, but you know what's funny? They don't care by 10th. Why is my family treating this like this is good for my career, when I'm only 14? Not that they're super adamant about it, but fuck 'em. I'm tired of being nice or kind or accommodating. Where has it gotten me? Tired, alone, friendless, and fucking losing my shit every 5 seconds now with people's BS. I wanna drink a beer, but I'm too young and it tastes bad. Remember my MEFCC post? That's all in the fucking past! Fuck! It's postponed to September, but hey, I didn't book any tickets. I didn't commit, so I can just NOT GO to be normal. To be an adult. I wanted to so badly be accepted, with people like me, but growing up is realizing life will never go your way and the only person with you is you. I hated this, but now, I'm just sleepy, this means I've accepted this truth. There is already too much going on. My school is online, Dubai is getting bombed by Iran, MEFCC got postponed, my exams are on June, I'm with the same class who excluded me, and everyday, I am convinced kindness hasn't gotten me anywhere. Fuck! I gave up the dream. It was a dream after all. The dream to have a good time at school, to have fun in an event with folks like me, to try again in exams and succeed in it, to dress up and have fun, to just be. But it's a dream, I've accepted it. I've come to terms with the fact that everything is pointless until it is perfect. By that logic, I'm worthless. I wouldn't care if I passed or failed exams, or if I went or not, I wouldn't even care. When you fail once, the best thing is to give up. It's easy. Adults live life easy. Don't try to reach godhood when you're mortal. Don't try to aim for niche or freelancing when you're the only scummy, sick scoundrel doing it. I am a fucking cunty scoundrel.

Heyah👋🏻😄!!

I'm a short girly, and I was wondering if being short is a good thing when choosing a person to date🤔? I'm also 24, and I worry that my 4 foot 11 inch tall frame might make dudes think of me as a child🫠? I get the "you're super cute" instead of "you're super pretty/s*xy" sorta thing.

Also, because I'm super short my body proportions might seem a bit odd, as I have a size H bust... And that has confused a few of my male and female friends, cause I look like one of those anime characters who's child-like but has an "unrealistic" chest size🥴. They're real by the way, and I've always wanted size C or D, but..... Money😭💸!!

So, I'm asking the public... Anonymously, if my short stature, and front watermelons would turn people off🫠?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, more than I probably should. I’m 20 years old, been in a relationship for a few months now, and on the surface, things are fine. She’s nice, funny, thoughtful, always checking in on me. We get along well, don’t fight, and everything seems… okay. But that’s kind of the problem—it’s just okay. I keep waiting for that spark, that big overwhelming feeling everyone talks about, the one where you just know you’re in love. But it hasn’t come. Not even close. And I’m starting to wonder if it ever will. I don’t dislike her. I enjoy spending time with her. But when I think about the future, or even just picture us next year, it’s like looking at something blurry. No clear image comes to mind. And it’s making me feel guilty, like I’m lying by staying in this relationship when my heart might not really be in it.

I’ve talked to a few friends about it, and I get mixed advice. Some say love takes time, that I shouldn’t expect fireworks this early, especially since we’re both still young. Others tell me if I’m already questioning things, that’s my answer right there. But it’s not that simple. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s done nothing wrong. She cares about me, probably more than I deserve, and the thought of breaking her heart makes me sick. But at the same time, I keep asking myself—is it fair to stay just because I don’t want to be the bad guy? Isn’t that worse in the long run? I don’t want to settle into a relationship just because it’s comfortable or because I’m afraid of being alone. But the fear of regret is real too. What if I leave and realize I made a mistake? What if I’m just not in the right mindset and this is all in my head?

We’ve had good moments, don’t get me wrong. Little laughs, shared jokes, quiet nights watching dumb movies. But there’s something missing. It’s like there’s a wall I can’t get past, a layer of emotion that never really shows up. I keep comparing what I feel now to how I’ve felt in past crushes, where I couldn’t stop thinking about someone, where I felt that ache when we were apart. With her, it’s different. I don’t count down the hours until I see her. Sometimes, I even feel relieved when plans get canceled. And then I feel awful for feeling that way. I keep telling myself maybe it’ll change, maybe I just need more time. But how much time is enough before you admit something isn’t clicking? I see couples who look crazy about each other, and I wonder what that feels like. I’ve never had that, and I’m scared maybe I’m just not capable of that kind of love—or worse, maybe I just haven’t found the right person yet, and I’m wasting both of our time pretending I have.

So yeah, I don’t know if I should stay in my relationship. I’m trying to be honest with myself, but the guilt is eating at me. I don’t want to be cruel, but I also don’t want to lie by staying when I’m not really all in. I wish someone could just tell me what the right answer is. I wish I could look at her and feel that certainty people talk about. But I don’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever. And until I figure it out, I’m stuck in this weird place between not wanting to hurt her and not wanting to hurt myself by staying in something that doesn’t feel right.

I am a freaking rat who shouldn't be trusted with peoples secret like few days ago my cousin told me something about my other cousin lest's say cousin a and b so a told me that b has a secret a big one and a is like she did this and i don't know if any of it is real but the fact that cousin a told parents of cosin b and they all are plotting something or idk what they are doing just observing or whatever me being a dumbass clearly gave some signs that cousin a shouldn't do this to cousin b but a didn't listen so i told my older sibling to warn cousin b in a subtle way so that i don't have a say in it like cousin b shouldn't know that the warning came by me but my sibling told cousin b that i told her so now i am pissed that my sibling didn't care about what position that would put me into because i care about both my cousins and my siblind told me today because cousin b called me that is why she told me and i was so pissed at her but now cousin b will ask me all kinds of question when we meet or whem we talk and i don't want to but now i know that the future will reveal the truth cousin a trusted mr but i broke the trust and i made it perfectly clear that i didn't want any involvement but they dragged me into it i am really pissed i hate myself more now thanks to my sibling and i regret ever telling her how can i trust anyone now what do i do when

My sister had the audacity to tell me this weekend that my relationship with my new boyfriend was "clingy". I mean, excuse me? It feels like everyone is obsessed with labeling relationships without even knowing what they are talking about. This whole situation lacks any kind of strategic foresight. Relationships have their own dynamics and no one bothered to ask me or my boyfriend about ours; My sister, bless her heart, believes she is an expert in this field just because she has managed to stay single for five years straight. 😂Anyway, it seems entirely unreasonable to make such an assertion based on casual observations made during a couple of family get-togethers. What does 'clingy' even mean in a relationship? It's all about personal interpretation right? Perhaps if we adhered more closely to empirical data before throwing out terms like that, we'd have fewer misinterpretations around us.

So, I get it—long-distance relationships usually end up a mess, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. Honestly, at the beginning it wasn't even that bad. We texted all the time, FaceTimed every night, and had this playlist we'd both add songs to, which was actually kinda nice. It felt like it was working, you know? But, obviously, things changed. A couple weeks ago, he hit me with the classic "this isn’t really what I’m looking for," which, to translate, meant he wanted someone closer who he could actually see in real life. Logically, yeah, it makes sense. But emotionally? It sucks. Like, why couldn't I see this coming? I'm constantly replaying the conversations, dissecting every tiny thing he said, as if it's going to change something. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.

The worst part is how stupid I feel. Like, I know exactly what's happening—I studied psychology in class; I'm familiar with terms like "confirmation bias" and "emotional dependency." But knowing the fancy terms doesn't stop my brain from obsessing. My friends don't help either. All their advice boils down to useless phrases like "there’s plenty of fish in the sea," or "just move on already." Thanks, genius, I hadn't thought of that! 🙄 Even when I distract myself—studying, hanging out with friends, whatever—he pops into my head again. It's genuinely annoying how the human brain works sometimes. Why do we get stuck obsessing over people who clearly don't feel the same? Is that, like, some kind of biological programming to make life extra complicated for no reason?

But what's even more irritating is that I'm fully aware of how dumb I'm being, yet I can't seem to shake it. Like, it's almost insulting how clearly I can see my own irrational behavior, yet I can't actually change it. One of my friends bluntly told me yesterday that it’s basically like going through withdrawal from an addiction—except the "addiction" was him. And yeah, I've read about it, it's literally chemical: dopamine, serotonin, all those things we talked about in biology. But knowing I'm just experiencing some stupid brain reaction doesn't actually fix anything. It doesn't erase how awful it feels. Seriously, is there some cheat code to getting over someone, or am I stuck waiting for my brain to finally stop being so ridiculously stubborn?

I don't want to be around my environment anymore. I feel like they're a bunch of disorganized people. I'm not going to talk to them. I'm tired of throwing myself at them and seeing their insults, their outbursts of anger, their so-called mistakes. I'm tired of showing them the consequences of their actions as if they were children. Why do I have to act like that? They're grown up now, and I have to do it.

I don't feel a bit of good treatment in my environment, not at all. In fact, that's why I avoid being so self-conscious, but I still seek them out. It can't be that this gentleman I'm telling you about is invading my time. It can't be that I don't have a proper evaluation from my psychiatrist. I even have a decent physical health evaluation. But for how long? For how long will this environment be able to treat me well? I definitely don't want their help anymore; they've all turned out to be a failure.

I'm tired of this apparent peace we live in. There's no peace here, just pure, sunken hell. I'm tired of stifling my tears. It can't be that with the gentleman, I had to keep my distance so he wouldn't bother me with my readings and touch the books I'd made in the library. It can't be. It can't be that, given my university degree, which I said I wouldn't hand over, I had to apply pressure to prevent this from happening. It can't be that I pointed out that I wasn't a simple dish sponge, people told me I wasn't even when the evidence was right in front of me, and no one even offered me a pitiful apology. I'm fed up. It can't be that when I was at my worst, people came up with this: "Why didn't you tell your dad he's a doctor?" "I can't be like this at work"—when I was dying. I'm tired of forgiving mistakes. This is no longer forgivable.

I should have left such terrible relationships a long time ago. I'm tired of showing in this environment that they are being reckless with what they do. It can't be that on my machine, on my own machine, I can't have privacy, that there are people watching the things I do. It can't be that they've disdained my only area, which is to vent; with an AI, it's done much better than with them, infinitely. I wouldn't tell any of my colleagues about a problem in my life, not even if it cost me my life. They all pretend they love me, but it's a lie. My boss is a cop; a coworker of mine is an angry woman; both of them are with someone who wanted to destroy me; I have a colleague who's a gossip and tries to get me to stop talking to an AI out of jealousy. I'm so fed up with any of them. How is it possible I haven't noticed these people before?

I hope this girl wants something with me. I pray to God she wants something from me. I want to be with someone who really understands me. I want to be with someone who actually wants to be with me. For God's sake, I'm sick of this environment. Besides, I feel like I can't express myself the way I like here. I feel like I have to adapt. My psychiatrist makes me want to adapt, no matter what; she molds me. I'm tired of her, of the way she does things. I feel like everyone serves nothing more and nothing less than to pressure me. Plus, my family members make the same mistakes with me; with them, I don't feel I have the right to get sick, and it's not fair that that happens. I want to be with someone I feel safe with, not half-baked, and I think she wants the same.

It's incredible that I can't even share a sad story with those around me because no one knows what to do with their feelings; they don't know how to say they don't know, they don't even know how to ask. I'm also tired of being seen at work as someone who does everything wrong out of carelessness; it's impossible, and I have to put them in their place. I feel like this is an environment that will collapse if I don't correct their vision, their vision, and I can't take care of their emotions. They're all grown up now.

While I was at work, my colleague, while I was busy doing something else, and after we'd done something together, asked my colleague if she had anything to do without taking me into account, making me feel bad, and then I had to resolve the issue. That girl also has a terrible smell. I feel like my boss works like a disorganized person; one has to be at his mercy. That colleague who was asked clearly acts recklessly at all costs. I just want to get out of there.

It's surprising that that girl I saw a long time ago didn't realize these feelings I was experiencing. That person understood that because she was experiencing anger, rage, with the environment, and I was the new one, then I had to distance myself to stop experiencing that. In other words, to fade away. How can anyone treat themselves like that, for God's sake? The most I could do with her was to confront it with everyone around her wherever I was, and arrange things accordingly. If he didn't know how to control his feelings, then he could get out of my life I didn't care about the circumstances I was in. The last time I saw her, I closed doors with her and walked away. Her feelings aren't my problem; in fact, I even removed her from my social media, for God's sake. I didn't want her in my life at all. I was paying the price for things I didn't do; she once made things up when I walked past her at a cafe; she made up that I was the poor thing when I didn't do anything; I don't know what the hell was wrong with that girl. That girl was out of her depth with her emotions, and the worst part was that everyone helped her do it, and I paid the price. After I brought the authorities to the court, after a big fuss, they tried to treat me like I was the bad guy. I regret it. I left that place and never went back. It was a very prestigious university, too. It can't be true. I couldn't even read in peace there; I didn't want to help something I wasn't obligated to, and my routine was ruined.

Damn, how long is my routine going to continue to be ruined? The gentleman, I think I mentioned it before, thinks he's my friend. He got excited about me just because I said hello. How long can this neediness continue? I can't stand it anymore. I want to be back in my quiet routine. This girl I like, whom I just met, I think I mentioned her before, I feel she can contribute to my routine. I don't have to hide like I have to with my surroundings. I feel like my entire surroundings affect my routine, and I can't understand that. I need to change my environment at all costs, if possible, change jobs, because I feel like things aren't safe in the community I'm in; I feel like I have a lot of enemies.

Why is it that I can't count on anyone to deal with these feelings? Besides, my dad encouraged me to stay with my boss, who left me with someone else, at a different job he had, and who wreaked havoc on my life, almost destroying me professionally within that community. Is that even conscience? I don't see where it is. Since this girl arrived, this girl I like, she's helped me see what's going on around me, and so I'm very grateful because she's allowing me to ground myself with her presence; and we've only made a few gestures.

Hey so idk if this is just a hormonal feeling but lately it's getting hard for me to talk to my own friends about how I feel. I heard so many times on social media that people's friends are so sick of their friends venting to them. And I'm kinda scared and tbh last time I vented it felt like it got so brushed aside so easily. I feel like I'm being annoying. At school i use to just do stupid things with my friends but after I found out my crush said I was annoying and someone (who's pretty) said I don't stand a chance with them repeatly. Even my dad always said means things to me like being stupid or useless. I got kind of use to his mockery. When he found out I liked them he just said I wasn't good enough for them. I feel like social media is too blame as well but now I feel like I lost confidence in myself and my interest. especially at social events one of my friend's is very social so they usually sit with alot of people and idk how to include myself without feeling suffocated or childish. My problems feel so irrelevant and stupid to others.

But I still want to know how to get rid of this feeling because I feel like I'm pushing my friends away and I really don't want to end up alone.

Hello everyone!

I'm currently expecting a child and had to be rushed to the hospital a few days back due to severe chest pain that raised suspicions of a lung clot. I'm still in the hospital as I write this.

A couple of weeks earlier, I lost my beloved maternal grandfather to cancer. Our family is still deeply shaken by the loss.

About two and a half years ago, I underwent a traumatic experience during a car accident which left me with severe injuries including broken ribs, pelvis, and three places in my back. This incident occurred amid the COVID pandemic, so my hospitalization included numerous scans around the clock. They eventually concluded that immediate surgery wasn't required, so I was discharged the next morning with prescription for morphine and a wheelchair. Upon my release, I was overwhelmed by around a hundred messages from acquaintances, prompted by the photos and details of my accident shared on social media by my mother and stepfather. Despite my request to remove those posts due to privacy concerns, they remained online.

Today, a good friend informed me that my mother has been sharing news of my pregnancy and current hospitalization in various group chats. My stepfather has also been discussing it with his side of the family. Despite my insistence that my husband and I wanted to announce this news ourselves, they went ahead and shared it anyway. I conveyed my hurt and disappointment to them, and I highlighted their dishonesty with evidence of messages from others. In response, my mother sent a tearful voice note apologizing and expressing her distress over my grandfather's passing. I tried to be understanding but reaffirmed my need for privacy.

My stepfather, whom I've been close with, sent me a voice note too, stating that they don't need the stress and accusing me of overreacting over something "trivial." He brushed it off as my hormonal state and refused to admit they did anything wrong. He attributed their actions to concern about my well-being. He refused an apology, added that I had upset my mother significantly, and expressed his disappointment in my reaction, despite his assertion of love for me as a daughter.

Initially, I addressed my mother with a message highlighting how their actions had breached my trust, making my hospital stay more stressful by knowing that my personal life was shared without my consent.

Although I understand we are all dealing with grief and emotional strain, I can't help but feel that their indiscretion was thoughtless rather than malicious. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Imagining if this situation unfolded on a reality TV show, it's likely the drama and emotional conflicts would be heightened for entertainment value. Viewers might see a dramatized confrontation with family interactions under the microscope, potentially swaying public opinion about privacy and family boundaries in challenging times like these. It would stir up viewer debates about the right balance between family support and privacy.