Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm 22, a guy. I've had 5 proper friendships in my life.

First and second one in school, after I moved states. They lasted around 10 years until I got into a relationship. They hated my boyfriend, so I got ghosted and blocked everywhere.

Third was a girl in the city i live in now, after I moved out from my parent's house. We got along until she got more and more toxic. She was 18 at the time, she acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Insulted, bullied and humiliated others. I quit that frie4ndship. She stalked me for 9 months.

Fourth was with an ex of mine, after a year of being apart we got to talk again. He's a nice guy. I adore him, in a very platonic way. He's been ghosting me for 2 months now for no reason.

Last one just broke apart today. A friend of 6 years told me about his struggles. I've been there for him for weeks now since he was feeling bad, but i ran out of tips and tricks. Ran out of solutions, so i simply suggested he'd go back to his therapist, that's what she's there for after all. He ignored me for the day and then started insulting me, calling me names, and much worse. I blocked him.

22 years. and not a single lasting friendship because all people turn out to hate me, ghost me or be toxic. I'm giving up on friendship.

I don’t even know why I do it. Like, every time someone actually tries to be my friend, I just… ruin it. It’s not like I want to be alone, but for some reason, I always end up pushing people away. At first, things are fine, we talk, we laugh, they seem cool, and then my brain starts freaking out. What if they don’t actually like me? What if I say something stupid? What if I annoy them and they just pretend to be nice? And then, instead of just going with it like a normal person, I start acting distant, stop replying to texts, avoid them in class, and before I know it, they move on. And I pretend like I don’t care, but deep down, it sucks. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop where I want friends but also push them away the second they get too close.

It’s not even like people are mean to me or anything. I see them hanging out in groups, making plans, posting about it online, and I wonder what that even feels like. To just be able to connect with people without overthinking every little thing. When someone sits next to me in class and actually starts a conversation, I panic. My brain starts screaming say something normal!! don’t be weird!! and then I either go completely silent or just say something so awkward that the conversation dies right there. And then I feel even worse. It’s like, I could be making friends, I should be, but something in me won’t let it happen. Like I don’t deserve it or something.

And then when I actually do let someone in, I mess it up in a different way. I start testing them without even realizing it. Ignoring texts to see if they’ll double text. Cancelling plans just to see if they really wanna hang out. Being all moody and distant to see if they’ll put in the effort to ask what’s wrong. And if they don’t? Then I tell myself see? they don’t actually care. But like, why would they? Why would anyone wanna keep trying with someone who keeps shutting them out? It’s not fair to them. And it’s definitely not fair to me, because in the end, I’m the one who ends up alone.

I keep thinking maybe it’s just safer this way. Like, if I don’t let people in, they can’t hurt me. I don’t have to deal with the drama, the fights, the feeling of someone just getting bored of me and leaving. But then I look around and see everyone else with their inside jokes, their sleepovers, their dumb little traditions, and I realize I’m missing out. Even when I’m in a crowded room, I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. And I hate that feeling. I hate watching from the sidelines, pretending like I don’t care when I really do. But at the same time, I don’t know how to stop being like this.

So yeah, why do I push people away? I wish I knew the answer. Maybe I’m scared of rejection, maybe I just don’t trust people, maybe I’ve just been alone for so long that I don’t even know how to let someone in anymore. But whatever the reason, I’m tired of it. I don’t wanna wake up one day and realize I spent my whole life shutting people out just because I was scared of getting hurt. I wanna be better. I just don’t know where to start.

man it's been like 2 months and i still think about her every single day. like not even just once or twice, but all day long, like a song stuck in my head that won’t shut up. we broke up, yeah, and i know she’s gone and probly already movin on but i can't. i keep thinkin about the way she used to laugh at my dumb jokes, or how she’d hold my arm when we walked down the hall at school. i miss the lil things the most, like how she’d say "you're dumb" when i’d say somethin stupid but then smile right after. it’s dumb, i know, but even when i'm playin games or chillin with the boys, she just pops into my head like she still got space in there. nd it sucks man. feels like i'm stuck in this loop of memories and i can’t find the off switch.

i thought maybe after a few weeks i’d be fine, like i’d stop feelin all this crap. but nah, it’s still here. it hits hardest at night, like when i’m just layin in bed lookin at my phone, scrollin old messages like a loser. i kno i should delete them, fr, but i can’t bring myself to do it yet. even her name still pinned in my chat list, even tho we haven’t talked since the day she ended it. i don’t even kno what i did wrong exactly, she just said she "needed space" and that was it. like how do u go from talkin every day to nothin?? i keep thinkin maybe if i said somethin different or was less clingy or more chill, maybe she’d still be here. i’m not sayin i was the perfect bf or nothin, but i really liked her. maybe too much. maybe that’s the problem.

some of my friends say “bro, just move on, there’s other girls” but they don’t get it. it wasn’t just about havin a gf, it was her. she was the first girl i really opened up to, like really told stuff i don’t even tell my fam. and now she’s gone and i feel like a piece of me is gone too. school’s harder, i don’t even care about it anymore. food don’t taste the same. i stopped writin in my notebook, which i used to love doin. even music don’t hit the same now, every love song just makes me feel worse. nd it ain’t like i can talk to anyone for real about this. if i say too much, i get clowned. if i say nothin, i just sit with it alone. i wish she knew how much she still means to me. but i can’t tell her that, cuz i don’t wanna sound desperate. and maybe she don’t care anyway. maybe she’s happy now and i’m just here being stuck.

i dunno what to do. like i wanna move on but i also don’t wanna forget her. she was a big part of my life, even if it was short. nd maybe one day i’ll look back and laugh or feel nothin but right now it hurts like hell. i wish someone would just tell me how to stop thinkin about her. how do u stop missin someone who used to feel like your whole world? i try to distract myself, i try to be cool, but it don’t help. i just hope this feeling goes away eventually. i hope i get to the point where i think of her and it don’t make my chest hurt. cuz right now? it hurts. it really does. and it’s crazy how someone can leave and still be everywhere in your head.

Long vent.

I feel like a failure. I keep messing up on stuff other don't have any problems with. I want to do things but i can never meet my goals or reach what i want because i'm just so stupid and irresponsible. I keep procrastinating because I always feel so tired and in the end I can't do the things I have to nor the things I want to, because half the time i'm either hooked on my phone just scrolling and not really seeing things, bedrotting and hiding in my bed struggling to get up, or pacing around my house because I know I messed up, i don't know what to do first or how to do it and I just want to hide and start crying. I tried to set up routines or habits and then something happens and i mess It up and can't fix It anymore. And i hate when people go "OMG NO BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD. YOU DID REALLY GREAT." Because no? No i did not. I don't deserve that. I did that completly last minute because i'm an irresponsible child that says yes to everything automatically but can't be trusted anything and the only thing i want right now Is to hide under the covers for so long that people forget i I exist so i don't have to be ashamed anymore. "IT'S NOT THAT DEEP I'M SURE YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME" ok? Well i'm not. Because this Is Just the comfermation that i messed up again and all the work i put in to try to fix myself was for nothing and i can never do better because i'll always be stuck in the same circle for every single thing i do. And It's only a matter of time before you're just as dissapointed in me as i am. And yeah, maybe It's not that deep, but It's deep enough to make me realize i can never be better no matter how much i try.

Anywayyy that was too long, thanks for coming to my pep talk, (always wanted to say that), have a great day stranger ❤️

I can’t get out of this. It has been almost 2 years since my A levels but it still haunts me. I have achieved A*s after extreme hard work as I was never that great of a student in my childhood so I had to work a lot. However in my A levels I got relatively poor grades especially in Biology, and biology is my strongest subject ( seriously ). Because of those grades I couldn’t even apply to Medical school, which has been my dream since childhood, as it’s a requirement to have an A for the application. It's so bad that the thought of it makes me nauseous.

My mom used to say, "What's the point of receiving the highest grades at school if you score that badly?" My dad called me a third grade student twice ( meaning like an extremely bad student ) and asked which university would ever take me in as I received those grades. My university has two similar courses like A levels and before giving the quizzes or exams I always panic and cry. My family is so tired of hearing me say all of this that it has affected me a lot because I have seen myself get compared with my siblings and friends. I wish I could move on but getting good grades in A levels had been such a long dream of mine that I can’t move on, I feel like such a failure, even now at university whenever I get a good grade or I feel like I know the content I feel like I am deceiving myself as I did so bad. I can’t move on.

I was visiting my family for the weekend, and my great aunt was there too. It's been a while since I was last home, so everyone came to see me.

Aunt Molly said she had a special spiritual dream where a guardian angel told her about an old neighbor from her childhood. She checked with a few people and found out there really was such a neighbor back in the day. She claimed this was some sort of miracle.

I was smiling the whole time. She asked why I seemed skeptical. I told her I believed she dreamed it, but it was probably because the old memory was in her subconscious and resurfaced in her dream. It wasn't a supernatural miracle, just her brain doing its thing.

She got mad and told me I needed to repent and find God in my heart again. I didn’t respond to that. Later, my mother said I caused a stir in the family and that my comment hurt Aunt Molly. Now everyone is upset with me. Did I do something wrong?

Imagine if this happened on a reality show. The drama would be off the charts! People would be taking sides, and there'd be endless discussions about faith, dreams, and subconscious memories. How do you think the viewers would react to my comment?

Three years into our marriage, my husband Mark and I, along with our young son, decided to relocate from Canada to Germany due to economic issues at home. We settled in Hannover, close to where Mark grew up. The move was exciting, and initially, everything felt like a fresh start.

The day after our arrival, we visited Mark’s family—it was only my second time meeting them since our wedding. They welcomed us warmly, making quite a fuss over my son, which was endearing at first. However, in the subsequent months, things took a turn. During our visits, I noticed they would often switch to German when discussing me—commenting on my appearance, my style, and even my pregnancy, which I was already sensitive about.

Disturbed by these revelations, I confided in Mark about the hurtful remarks I overheard. He assured me he’d speak to them about their behavior. It seemed to work because their offensive remarks stopped, at least for a short while.

When our daughter Lilith was born—a name deeply rooted in my family's tradition despite its evocative meanings like “night” or “ghost”—his family couldn’t hide their disapproval. This criticism was tough, leading me to distance myself from them for a while.

Recently at a family gathering for my mother-in-law's birthday, the rudeness reached a new height. As guests fawned over baby Lilith, my mother-in-law grew visibly irate due to the diverted attention. I was already struggling with postpartum depression and was not comfortable with people handling my newborn. During dinner, I overheard my sister-in-law bitterly criticizing me to my mother-in-law in German, calling me derogatory names.

Fed up, I confronted them in fluent German, expressing that I’ve understood their jibes all this time, but insulting me directly was unacceptable. The table erupted in chaos—everyone blaming me for the outburst. Overwhelmed, Mark and I left, and we’ve not engaged with them since.

Thinking about the outcome makes me wonder, if my story was part of a reality show, how might audience reactions be shaped? Reality TV thrives on conflict and dramatic reactions, and no doubt, this unsettling family dinner would make a compelling episode. Viewers might side with me for standing up to the harsh treatment or perhaps criticize me for my response to the family’s behavior. It's fascinating and a bit alarming to think of personal strife as a public spectacle, but it could also be a platform to discuss genuine issues like postpartum depression and family dynamics.

Am I bad here???

Recently, my mother moved into a new home, but little did we know that she would be neighbors with quite a difficult individual, whom I'll refer to as Karen. During the initial days of my mom settling in, she went out to restock her pantry, leaving my best friend and me to handle the task of moving her furniture. We shared the driveway with Karen, and while offloading the furniture, we apparently ruffled her feathers.

Karen approached us almost immediately, questioning whether we had permission to be there. My friend and I were baffled, assuming she was pulling our leg. However, after confirming that my mother had indeed purchased the house, Karen launched into a tirade about how our truck was tarnishing the newly paved driveway with mud.

Weeks later, Karen's husband, who seemed rather amiable compared to her, came over asking for financial and physical help to build a fence between the properties. Although tight on finances, my mom agreed to contribute when possible, and I volunteered to assist with labor.

The situation escalated when my band and I decided to practice in my mom's garage. Despite it being a long weekend evening, Karen complained about the noise disturbing her children around 8 p.m. We tried compromising that we'd lower the volume in an hour, but she insisted on an abrupt end. Resigned, we closed the garage door in her face and continued as initially planned.

Every social gathering at our house seemed to provoke a police visit, courtesy of Karen. However, the officers often left apologizing for the disturbance, acknowledging that we were not at fault.

The climax of tensions occurred following my grandmother's funeral. The entire community was mourning, and many gathered at my mom's to commemorate her life. Of course, Karen deemed this an inconvenience, fixating on her blocked driveway the following morning. In the throar of grief and frustration, I confronted her, leading to a heated exchange urging her to leave our property.

Honestly, if this drama unfolded on a reality TV show, I bet viewers would be glued to their screens, picking sides, and likely cheering when we finally stood up against Karen’s incessant complaints. It would make one wonder whether sympathy for our situation would be universal, or if some would applaud Karen's strict adherence to rules.

And you, what do you think about the situation?

I’m 14 and I didn’t really have a good past because of my mother, and the past couple months now I have noticed a lot of changes about myself mentally. If I’m out of the house for too long like at stores or restaurants, I’ll just panic and I don’t understand why, It becomes hard to talk and usually I’ll just say “home”. Last year me and my family went to a huge festival, I panicked and we had to sit down for a while, I would stop panicking but it would start up again randomly and I just couldn’t control it. My grandma and grandpa took me to the car and I calmed down while my dad and my sister were still out for about 15 minutes before we left. They kept bringing it up and said it was an “inconvenience”. Often times if I feel a texture I don’t like, it feels weird like I have to shake it off my hands or I just sit there with my hands out and go like “ah” or “eugh”, my grandma as recognized it and will give me a napkin for my hands or just move us away from where the material was. Sometimes I get in this headspace where I feel like mentally around the ages of 6-10. I never really got to have a childhood, my dad said it was good before him and my mom got divorced but I don’t remember it and I only remember the bad stuff. I want to know what’s wrong with me but when I asked my therapist she said it was just a phase but I cried to her about it months ago (she is no longer my therapist for other reasons). I feel like I’m this way because I was forced to grow up too fast, I mean I was taking care of a baby (my little sister) when I was 5. My mom was selling my toys and Christmas presents for drugs.

When I get really interested in something like a video game, I talk very passionately about it and sometimes I get a little loud when I talk but I don’t notice it. My dad always gets mad at me and I try to stay quieter. I almost always tell my grandma about all my interests and crafts because she is the only one who actually listens. Today I went to talk to her about the craft I wanted to do for my Halloween costume this year. I was in debate between doing a barn owl or a deer kinda cosplay. I was in the middle of saying how I thought the deer one would be harder and how I really wanted to do the owl, but she didn’t let me talk and just kept saying “the owl sounds too hard, you should do the deer”. I kept asking her to let me explain and she was like “well the owl just seems too hard for you”. At that point I just went back upstairs to my room and cried. My dad doesn’t let me tell him about my interests because I talk too much and he wants the short story,now he doesn’t want to hear it at all. My little sister is spoiled rotten by my dad and just doesn’t let me talk, then she gets mad at me when I get mad at her because she keeps interrupting me.

I just want to know what’s wrong with me

My goddamn family keeps on pressuring me to do all the bs they want me to do, instead of trying to let me have a choice. as if im their clone, ffs. i told my dad i didnt want to play basketball anymroe since my og basketball coach stopped teaching, and the first thing he did was say "Because you're lazy". He showed me a chinese coach who could teach me basketball, but they cant speak english. I saw a video on it, and I was confused. Confused as hell, I didnt know a single thing that was going on. I could speak chinese, sure, but I knew no basketball jargon in chinese. and my dad looked at me as if he taught me basketball in chinese. And he said "You do know how to understand. You're just too lazy to accept that. Am I right?" I couldnt even say no to that answer. I still wanted to play basketball. All he said was "Dont bother playing anymore, dont bother trying to ask if you can continue playing."

In our high school circle, there's a girl named Melanie who’s deeply entrenched in her Christian faith. Melanie is a devout follower and attends a local Baptist church every Sunday without fail. This personal devotion has never been an issue for us; in fact, it’s always been inspiring to see someone derive so much happiness from their faith.

Initially, Melanie’s religious expressions were subtle and respectful. She’d wear her cross pendant and occasionally share Bible verses on her social media platforms. However, over time, her approach began to change, becoming more overt and, frankly, overwhelming. It reached a point where she would arrive at our school lunch table with a Bible in hand, frequently interjecting our conversations with phrases like “God is amazing!” and persistently sharing her religious views.

Her approach intensified when she started a separate Instagram account to advocate for living a holy life according to scripture. She even attempted to launch a Christian podcast. The tipping point for us came one day over lunch when Melanie ranted about how "disrespectful" it was for people to wear cross necklaces if they weren't devout Christians. She also criticized "Jesus Christ Superstar"—a musical I hold dear—claiming it was blasphemous.

I felt compelled to address her that day. While I acknowledged her right to her beliefs, I expressed that her constant integration of religious commentary into every aspect of her interaction was becoming exhausting for everyone. I also explained that artistic interpretations like the musical were valid explorations of Jesus as a historical figure.

Melanie snapped back, questioning, "Are you implying you’re better than Jesus?" Frustrated, I retorted, maybe too harshly, "Look, Jesus loves you, but even he would appreciate it if you toned it down a bit."

This escalated to me criticizing her for letting her religion overshadow her personality and subtly implying she was superior because of her devoutness. Melanie hasn't spoken to us since that confrontation. Though my friends support my stance, claiming Melanie was being hypocritical and overbearing, I’m left questioning if I was too harsh.

The sarcasm and choice of words, in hindsight, might have been unnecessary. Reflecting on this, I can't help but wonder what the immediate reaction would be if this confrontation occurred in the setting of a reality show. Likely, it would have been sensationalized, with dramatic music and close-ups, possibly swaying public sympathy towards Melanie for being 'attacked' over her faith, or alternatively, it could have painted me as a protagonist standing up to religious zealotry, depending on the audience's prevailing attitudes.

I've been on this wild journey of self-discovery, and honestly, what a trip it’s been figuring out my damn sexuality. Like, one minute I’m crushing hard on this girl in my class, we vibe so well, and then the next, I’m drooling over some guy in a coffee shop, and I’m like, "what the actual heck is happening?" It’s like I’m a walking contradiction, and if anyone’s got a spare manual on this kinda stuff, hit me up! So, I’ve been trying labels on for size – bisexual, pansexual, queer – but nothing feels quite right; each label seems to fit like a shoe from the clearance rack at a thrift store, you know? One day I’m in the mood for a romantic comedy featuring a fierce female lead, the next, I’m binging on some brooding male anti-hero drama. Heck, I’ve even Googled “what is my sexuality?!” like a million times, coz surely the internet knows better than me, right? 😂 It feels like an episode of "Queer Eye" gone wrong, where they’re just yelling, “Love yourself, you’re fabulous!” while I’m over here like, “Thanks, but can I just get some clarity?” I remember this one time my best friend said, “You can love whoever the hell you want,” and I thought, wow, she’s onto something. Why do I even need a label? It’s like trudging through a minefield of expectations, assumptions, and stereotypes, and let’s face it, some people are so bent on shoving you into a specific box, it’s nauseating. We have “The Kinsey Scale,” which is cool and all, but I sometimes feel like saying, “Screw the scale, I’m just vibing.” I read somewhere that sexuality is fluid, and it makes total sense; I mean, one moment you’re in love with the idea of a picnic with a girl, and then suddenly you're all about a romantic evening with a dude and a bottle of wine. So, like, what am I? Do I really need to label it? Labels seem helpful, but they also seem restrictive. It’s a double-edged sword. And dating? Ugh, don’t even get me started. Trying to navigate that landscape feels like climbing Mount Everest without gear. Swipe left, swipe right, and the anxiety? It’s crippling. And the worst part is when someone asks, “So, what do you identify as?” and I’m like, “How about a hot mess?” You know that awkward moment when you’re honestly reflecting and you just want to scream “I’m just me?!” Sometimes I think, “Do I have to pick a side?” and the answer seems to be no. I mean, is it really that serious? Like, I read a quote that said, “Sexuality is like a rainbow: it’s made up of many colors,” and that resonates so much. I wanna play with all the colors! So anyway, I’m embracing whatever this is, because life’s too short to stress about it, right? I’ve had those nights where I just wanna melt into my blankets, binge-watch my favorite shows, and cry about confusing romance. It’s rough; I've asked myself if I'm overthinking it or if I’m just, I don’t know, bored with the binary? 😕 Some days I just want a partner who gets my latest obsession with true crime documentaries and how I think pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity. Why are we so obsessed with labeling everything? Can’t it just be about feelings and vibes? I might still be in the thick of figuring this out, but I’m cool with that now; it’s part of the journey, and the journey is kinda beautiful in its chaos. Who’s with me on this? Anyone else feeling the weight of the world’s expectations, but also finding joy in the messiness of it all? Nobody should feel cornered or pressured to fit into a neat little label, I mean, “Sexuality is a spectrum, not a straitjacket,” right? Let’s enjoy the ride, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll discover that love comes in all shapes and sizes – and sometimes, it’s just about being open to whatever floats your boat;

My partner and I are in our mid-20s and just everything is going wrong. We've been arguing for the last three days. They haven't let me near them since then. And now they say because I did nothing to "fix" it, they are done with the relationship. I did do things, I offered so many things as well, but none of it mattered. They didn't want any of it, it didn't mean anything to them. They don't feel loved and it's all my fault.

I’m just sitting here, scrolling through photos of my husband, and honestly, it can get pretty lonely sometimes. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him; he’s out there serving and doing what he loves, but when I think about how my day-to-day looks compared to his, it feels like we’re living in separate worlds. I’m 27, and I just live in this small town, working my job, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends on weekends, but I always come home to an empty house. I mean, I’ve got my dog, and he’s a great buddy, but it's just not the same, you know? Plus, I miss all those little things we used to do together, like cooking dinner or binge-watching our favorite shows. Now, most nights, I just end up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, scrolling through Netflix, saying, “Wow, this would’ve been fun with him." 😔

I think one of the hardest parts is when I see everyone else enjoying their relationships. I mean, my friends will post those cute couple pics, and I’m really happy for them, but it hits different when you’re in a relationship but still feel alone. Every now and then, I catch myself staring at his empty side of the bed and wishing things were different. Just last week, I had a pretty rough day at work—I was all stressed out, and all I wanted was to talk to him. I picked up my phone, but then it hit me again that it was just going to be a short voice message. I mean, I’d pour my heart out, and he wouldn’t hear it until who knows when; it’s tough feeling so far away. But I try to focus on the good things, like keeping a journal where I write letters to him. It feels therapeutic, and maybe one day he’ll read them and just realize how much I miss him, you know?

For me, being a military spouse is a mixed bag; there are days when the loneliness just kind of creeps in, but I also find ways to stay connected. I set reminders for us to FaceTime at least once a week, and those little chats really make it worth it. I’ve started finding little hobbies too, like painting, which helps me work through feelings and express myself. It’s like a little escape right at home when I can’t be with him. Maybe you’ve found yourself feeling lonely in your relationship too? I hope to hold onto that hope that this phase will get better and that one day, we’ll have more time together. It’s all about the little moments we create, even from miles away; I just need to hang in there and keep looking forward to when we’ll finally be together again.

I am not a good person. At all. That's all i can't think about. I can't move i can't do anything all i can't think about Is that i ruined so much for so many people. I can't stop imagining just how much better things would be If i wasn't here. I ruin everything no matter how much i try. Everytime i mess up and ruin everything for everybody. I'm too scared to get out of this bathroom, i'm too scared of everything that Is going to happen. Everything Is so overwhelming. There's so much work and so many tests. I don't have the capabilities for this. I can't make It. I don't even know how i made It here. Three years ago i had promised myself it would be different. I promised myself that these years would be different, that this school would be different, that i would be different. And i tried i really tryed to keep that promise but i failed. I fell back into the same spiral. I broke my promise. I dissapointed everyone including myself. My grades a crashing. Everyone hates me. And i'm ruining the relationship ship i had with the one friend i had after i gave my all to be friend her for two years and a half. Right now i Just want to stay in this bathroom and stare at wall. And just never get out. I Just want to hide. Dissapear. It would be better for everyone If i wasn't here.