Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'll try to express my feelings as clear as possible (my mind usually goes blank when I go and try to type stuff), and I'm sorry if I might come of as rude or inconsiderate, it really isn't my intention. Trigger warning of dark thoughts mentioned, if that's appropiate.

I'm particularly a young person, at the end of my teenage years, and I feel that life hasn't been going so well. I do well academically, even have that fame of people expecting good stuff about me, yet it has been a long time I have felt any proud for this. Thing is that I am lonely, and have been this way pretty much since the start of my social life. I am not in the position of being bullied, which I am grateful to be. Actually, people are usually nice to me, but that's the limit. Nobody has been interested in becoming friends with me. I was fine with it before, but it has been hurting more and more as time passes. I have tried many times to make social interactions, which is a huge step for me—it takes a lot of courage for me to go out and expose myself, because I tend to be socially anxious. These just end up as simple, friendly conversations, and sometimes even embarrassing. After I try to keep contact with them, they just seem like they aren't that interested in forming a friendship. I know it IS a process, but it is hard to keep it up if you sense the other person not wanting to get into it.

Life in my school has been very simple, I just try to be a good student and be cool with everyone. However, people only get to acknowledge me when they need something, and sometimes I feel like I'm the last choice for that. Hell, I sometimes even feel like a robot following commands. If I am honest, all my school life just feels like a cycle. I wake up, prepare and go to school, receive classes (that's just it), and head back home to sleep and start a new loop. This cycle has gotten me tired lately, and it is hard to try to break it, since I can't make it any more interesting. Unlike other schools, mine doesn't have any clubs, and I can't really talk to any of my classmates, because they have grown up with this picture of me being quiet and unapproachable, and it hurts to be seen that way.

My life at home isn't that good also. I try to finish my homework rapidly, and then try to see what to do with my free time. Most of my free time has been spent learning about math and coding, which I love, so they have been my main time wasters. There's not much I do after that. I have online friends, but I feel severely disconnected from them. About my family, I love them, but I don't think I can talk to them about this, and I have reasons for that. My father is my closest familiar, but he doesn't like me expressing vulnerability, and let's not even mention my mother. She says she loves me, but I have felt that she just gives me what I need to live, and doesn't teach me about how to do stuff myself, like cooking or washing properly. She is a real angry person when (easily) provoked, and uses everything given to her against others, honestly I have felt like a burden to her.

Sometimes the whole idea of feeling lonely brings me to dark places. I start to question if people would miss me if I was gone. I have no intentions to do anything against myself, but I sometimes do wonder. I feel like a ghost in this world. No matter how hard I try to form bonds, these break apart. There aren't many options for me, either. My parents restrict me doing a lot of stuff that is usually advised in these cases. Sometimes it feels that I have no one in this world, that I am unlovable. I have to keep all my hardships within myself because I don't have anyone. And about the idea that forming connections as an adult is harder, brings less hope for me. It is all just so confusing, and so hurtful. You feel that you cannot connect with anyone, and don't know why. I sometimes wonder if I wasn't supposed to be in this world, that I don't fit here. It feels that you are the odd one out, in an ocean of perfectly aligned pieces of a whole jigsaw puzzle. I just stand here and wish I was "normal."

I sincerely don't know, I feel like it would be nice to have someone who can do stuff and talk with me from time to time, and not by obligation. I just hope someday I get to meet someone, and for it to actually work, for a first time in years. Hopefully my life in college will be better if I place effort on it. It would be nice to hear if someone here can relate to these feelings, and if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. Even though I am an introvert, being alone all of my time sometimes gets to me. Any advice to my situation is welcomed. I hope you have a nice Christmas Eve, I'll try to have one.

Our children, a 16-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy, are fervently committed to environmental conservation, a value my husband (41) and I (38) wholeheartedly endorse. We've always embraced the philosophy "use gently and conserve," which we trace back to the ideas promoted by the Roosevelts.

Recently, after returning from a summer camp where a well-known actor emphasized the urgent need to cut carbon emissions by 66% to avert an environmental disaster, our kids' behavior took a sharp turn. Despite his own use of a private jet and multiple properties, his message hit home with them. They became overly aggressive, confronting friends and relatives about their environmental habits, leading our son to vandalize a friend's Mustang as an act of environmental protest.

To curb this growing fanaticism, my husband and I decided to teach them a practical lesson by challenging them to reduce their own carbon footprints by 66% until the start of the school year. We simplified our home energy sources to demonstrate achievable cuts, but even then, they struggled. They now had restricted car use, limited air conditioning, a diet without meat, and minimal use of appliances to truly understand the impact of such a drastic cutback.

The reality of their choices soon hit them, and within two days, they were pleading to return to their normal lives. We explained the hypocrisy of advocating for a lifestyle they themselves couldn't bear to maintain and imposed stricter limitations whenever they criticized others' environmental efforts. Following a particularly public complaint on Facebook about their restrictions, we cut off their internet access, nudging them further towards their emission reduction goal.

This approach has garnered mixed reactions. While many relatives who had been targeted by the kids' criticisms felt vindicated, others, including my mother-in-law and father-in-law, accused us of being harsh and even reported us to family services. Growing up on a farm taught us the value of true grit, and we believe these lessons are crucial.

Imagine if all this were unfolding on a reality TV show! Viewers would likely be split, with some applauding us for teaching a tough lesson in responsibility and sustainability, while others might view us as too severe, creating drama and drawing in a larger audience intrigued by the clash of environmental ideals versus practical living.

I wonder, would being on a reality show change public opinion about our approach?

We started as teenage lovers, got teenage children now, was able to get a permanent job where he was not able to finish highschool. Loaned about 17k and now my salary is only $122 a month, while the bills amounts $140...so the bills was compromised to provide food on the table. Now the mortgage is now 3 months unpaid, calls from the collectors has been ringing, incoming school year is fast approaching, money is badly needed for tuition, uniform and school supplies...it felt like it is gripping me from thinking so much... I'm so pathetic for staying, even marrying him when he can't provide anything. I'm so tired of pushing him to get a job when it ends up fighting and shouting...

TW: Suicide and SA

How do I even start this? My parents screwed me over. I got my mom's anxiety, and my dad's depression and addiction. I didn't learn about any of this until it was too late. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and the addiction gene just feeds of that shit. My parents treat my sister like shit and they fight a lot and vent to me about everyone and everything, so the addiction just moves me to another place in my mind. The first addiction I ever had was to hurting myself, and that nearly put me in the hospital. But I was getting help and had a couple good months, so I thought I was ok. But I didn't focus on the other problem developing. At first it was fine, but now I get blackout or close to blackout drunk every weekend (sometimes during the week), and I just want to stop, but I am surrounded by it all the time. I go to a party school and all my friends like to drink. I don't feel forced to drink, it just gives me an excuse to.

One time when I was out and drinking with friends, I was SA'ed. I had never been more disappointed in myself in my life and I wanted to disappear. Instead of taking the chance to make this a learning lesson, I continued to make horrible decisions. Only a few people know, but they only know parts. I told them that I only remember what he looked like and not his name, which is a lie. During the attack, I sobered up a bit, and I remember almost everything. I look over my shoulder a lot, hoping my past mistake doesn't come back to haunt me.

After a couple months, I hadn't gotten my period since the attack, and I was so fucking scared. I didn't speak or see any of my friends for 4 days, until after I took the test. The worst part of the whole week was the realization that I was not pregnant. At first, I had never been so relieved, but now I just feel like something is missing. I look at myself and I can feel apart of me missing. I don't know if it's the innocence I lost from that night, or what could have been.

I just got back from a trip with friends, and none of them really suspect anything of what I have been feeling. And I feel like a terrible person for feeling like this, because I should be happy and shit, but I'm not. This is not the worst I have ever felt, but it is close. I always thought I would grow up to be someone my past self would admire, but I think now I would just scare her.

I want to be not human for a bit. I want to take away my feelings, just for a time. Would that everything worse, probably. But at this point, I just want God to take away my pain.

man, i woke up this morning and I just definitively don't feel good.... i'm 28 for crying out loud, you'd think I'd have my shit together by now. i'm not even sure what's wrong, like, there's nothing specifically happening to cause this funk. is this just adulthood, or am i missing something crucial? seriously, how do other people keep it together so seamlessly while I'm over here struggling to get out of bed most days?

all week i've been stuck in a vicious cycle; i'm tired, but can't sleep; i'm hungry, but can't eat; and don't even get me started on working. sometimes i think to myself, "is there something bigger at play here?" maybe there's some universal energy or something screwing with me. you know that old quote, "sometimes we need a little darkness to see the stars"? it's kind of comforting, but what if it's total BS? like, aren't there stars in the daytime too? 🤔

so my attempts to remedy this have been textbook: i've tried meditating but the silence only made me more anxious. hit the gym, thinking some exercise would help; instead, I felt more exhausted than ever. someone suggested "retail therapy"—what a load of crap. spending all that money I don't even have just stressed me out more. basically, i've run out of options, and I’m starting to think my only salvation might be an alien abduction or something equally drastic. maybe a fresh start on a different planet might do the trick.

despite all this, i'm trying to stay hopeful. i mean, people always say "this too shall pass," right? but what they don't tell you is how slow the passing can be. life does suck sometimes but I guess that's part of "the journey". and if life throws me any more curveballs, I’ll just swing for the fences or whatever—because what’s the alternative? sulking in misery? nah, not my style. i'm clinging to any shred of optimism left like a lifeline—because seriously, what else can one do?

so here I am, spilling my guts online like that’s gonna fix anything. but maybe, just maybe, someone out there can relate or offer a piece of advice that's not straight out of a self-help book. have you faced similar BS and come out on the other side? don't hold out on me, share the secret—what's the meaning of life, or at least the key to feeling like a functional human being again?

I’m genuinely seeking some advice on a situation that persists at home, and I need an outsider’s perspective. My wife makes less money than I do, which is fine, but her default is to handcraft gifts for people. It’s a noble gesture for sure, but it becomes problematic when the recipient, like myself, would prefer something specific that isn't handmade.

Here's an illustration from my own experiences. Over the last few years, every gift from her has been something she made. Regardless of what I explicitly ask for, whether it's inexpensive or not, I end up receiving a handmade present. Take last Christmas, for instance. I had my eye on a few gadgets, but I unwrapped a hand-knitted scarf instead. Don't get me wrong, her gifts are thoughtful, but it’s been the same every time. For her part, I always make sure I buy things that she lists.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was my recent birthday. I didn’t ask for much, just a single book worth about $25 and even sent her the direct link to buy it. Instead, I opened my gift to find homemade bookmarks. Not only were they not the kind of bookmarks I prefer (I like wooden ones and these were cloth), but it also felt like my requests were ignored.

I guess my disappointment was visible because she immediately asked what’s wrong. I confronted her directly this time, explaining how these weren't what I wanted at all—reminding her of our numerous discussions on this topic. I returned the bookmarks to her, a bit abruptly, perhaps, and went out to get the book myself.

Upon returning, we ended up in a big argument with her accusing me of being ungrateful and calling me names. I understand that she puts effort into these gifts, but I feel like my wishes aren’t being respected either.

Imagine such a scenario playing out in a reality show! Likely, the situation would be magnified. Viewers would be picking sides, with some sympathizing with the wife’s heartfelt creations while others might side with the husband’s desire for gifts that actually meet his tastes. Comments and debates would light up social media, maybe even spark a trending hashtag or two, as people chimed in on whether it’s the thought or the gift itself that counts more.

How do you think this would play out on a reality TV show?? Would people see me as demanding or would they understand where I’m coming from?

i am very insecure bout my body and all i can think of is how my bf would prolly be wishing for more or someone else. i might not be the prettiest or hottest to myself but i am sure that my body is uglier. i cant help it but to worry bout it more now that im in a relationship. i feel shit bout myself, i have no good grades, no talents or anything. it makes me wonder is hes staying only cuz i treat him right and im loyal cuz other girls werent. everytime we makeout i cant help it but to think "maybe hes thinking that the random girls he made out with had better tits and ass than me"or maybe thats why he follows girls with their clevage out or tits out in their profile? im so insecure that i could get a bbl done. my bf cant agree that i have big tits either. he doesnt even care to console me and it hurts that he doesnt give two shits, while i console him whole night staying up sacrificing my sleep for him while i have school, all he tells me is "dont worry you are hot" and literally thats it. i dont know who to talk to bout this cuz people will judge or say im overreacting but honestly it hurts at some point.

I find it hard to believe how complicated it is to express myself online using abstract language. It's something that fulfills me because it's precisely the language I need to express what I feel. From there, I seek to talk about my life.

Indeed, I feel this is about saying that life holds a complexity beyond what is normally presumed to be a life. It's an act of respect. It's a constant demand to adapt to a language that I find insufficient.

When I vent, I do so in order to talk about my life and be able to visualize it. Being overwhelmed, I can't see what I have to say about my life, which is me and what surrounds me in some way.

Speaking in a format that many seek, considered simple, being reductionist, is precisely preventing the way in which my visualization is necessary. This isn't talking about anxiety or an obsession; it's an effort to understand how I am.

Without a doubt, we can talk about nervousness about everything I have to say. However, I don't experience anxiety because I don't feel an imminent threat; on the contrary, I feel that this is more of a sign that I'm about to get out of something. Nor can I speak of obsession, because we're not even talking about recurring thoughts.

Speaking of venting, I am indeed talking about my life, and it consists of details, which may be various, encapsulated under a single theme. However, the fact that the question relates to a single person, a single situation, doesn't indicate being obsessed with a topic or anxious; at most, it indicates that one goes beyond the ordinary regarding said topics and considers oneself strange.

Today, and with the advances that have occurred in all areas of knowledge, I am surprised, I must say, that the strange is worthy of rejection, especially when it comes to people, a matter that requires precise treatment to be inserted. In short, venting itself, it must be said, makes us strange because it allows us to delve into details that are unknown even to us, even to ourselves.

It is often argued that we should think before speaking, when this issue represents or points to the difficulty of recipients receiving varied information. We can categorically say that no person thinks before speaking; at the same time they speak, they think, and they used to think even when they were silent. And the fact that their thoughts coincided with the words expressed, sonorously, expresses the obstruction they represent for us, simply a compulsion.

In this society, many things are defended with which I do not agree. I believe that we all truly want to face life, but it is at the cost of our constant exercise with it, and in the worst circumstances, which is to be alone. This society supports not doing that; after all, that would imply that this individual can do without them, so in the event of any reprisal from a majority, it will be indispensable. It must be said that many of the things that are pointed out as bad are ways of expressing that one should not be something that could be harmful, being against it. They call it politeness, but it's clearly anxiety. It's clear that those who base their lives on thinking that something isn't right and therefore need to change it, thanks to the obsession that it represents, since these are recurring thoughts that result in displeasure, seek said change as a result of the obsession itself. If we notice, anxiety and obsession are the entities that most often support each other.

Proper relief allows us to escape these situations because it allows us to tune into them and continue with our routine, with those thoughts that lead to its consolidation. However, change is used as an excuse to maintain the routine, invading other spaces, naturally encouraging narcissistic behaviors that weren't present before. We can safely say that anyone who seeks a constant routine and doesn't let off steam, given the changing essence of those elements external to our routine, which also change them, leads us to be potential narcissists. It must be said, these are not the things many therapists talk about.

Many therapists enjoy entering this field without having integrated their knowledge of the subject, which leads them to become simple victims of a system. Through their sessions, they seek to force others to succumb to it through their integration. They become counselors, simply detaching themselves from the discourse, from the particularity of the patient, to provide developmental treatment as an individual in their individuality, to bring them to a collective one, where the notions of anxiety and obsession are supported as accusatory elements, of that which runs beyond conceived limits. Indeed, these are against the idea of ​​letting off steam.

So, with psychotherapists, we can't let off steam. Nor with the environment, because it would be a struggle for a normality, furthermore, by not entering into it, making these individuals incapable of developing themselves and consequently segregating ourselves. Frankly, I don't understand how an individual can develop in this world, particularly. It's being at the mercy of situations that are camouflaged through discourses considered normal, open to everyone, but that prevent us from understanding what my life consists of, starting from the smallest details and which joy leads to a holistic spirit.

It's not fair that people like me, to say it without any fear, are at the mercy of such treatment. I know there are people like me who are also on these paths; it would be somewhat prejudiced for me to say that there is no one else. Of course, those who haven't been in the same terrain as me and only notice me will say that there is no one else like me. Of course, they take what they know as a sample and project it onto the rest of the world when, as can be seen, many are those who don't dare to delve into anything beyond my surroundings. How contradictory, frankly.

It was last Christmas when I (27f) had the joy of inviting my family and friends to a unique “dinner and a show” experience, not only for the festive spirit but also because I had contributed to designing some of the costumes for the evening’s performance. We were all seated at a significant table close to the stage in a tiered theatre setting, where the seating arrangement included multiple levels of tables each descending closer towards the stage. Positioned at the back of our table, my seating placement put me exactly at head level with the table directly above us.

As we began to enjoy our meal served from a delectable buffet, an alarm suddenly went off right next to my ear. The couple from the table above was away filling their plates, and as the shrill beep continued unabated by my side, it became disruptively loud. After enduring the unpleasant noise for a couple of minutes, I noticed that the source was an iPhone. In an attempt to halt the disturbance, I reached over and lightly tapped the snooze button on the phone. I firmly planned to notify the couple upon their return, presuming the alarm could have been a simple reminder, possibly for medication.

However, my actions didn't sit well with my mom who was seated opposite me. She was visibly shocked and began reprimanding me for handling someone else’s belongings. Although I explained that I merely snoozed the alarm to cease the loud noise, she firmly lectured me on the inappropriateness of my actions, even suggesting the alarm could have been set for something crucial like medication timing. I remember retorting that I had only snoozed it and intended to inform the owners as soon as they came back. Nevertheless, my mom continued her reproach in front of everyone, including my friends and soon-to-be sister-in-law, criticizing my behavior.

Upon the couple's return, I immediately apologized for my action and explained the situation. They were understanding and even apologized for the inconvenience caused by their unattended phone alarm. Surprisingly, they weren’t upset about me touching their phone at all.

Since then, the incident has been a recurring topic. My mom remains unapologetic and firm on her stance, which has been somewhat embarrassing in front of family and friends. While many support my decision, citing the disturbance caused by the noise, some do share my mom's view on privacy and the sanctity of personal belongings.

In another light, imagine if this incident had unfolded on a reality show. How would the audience react to such a scenario? Would they side with me for trying to diminish a continuous annoyance, or would they agree with my mom's perspective on privacy? Reality TV thrives on these kinds of personal dilemmas and audience polls on such matters could lead to heated debates in the comment sections or even affect viewer perceptions of the characters involved.

Am I wrong for snoozing the phone alarm?

TW : Talk of Overdosing, Self Harm, SA, and Family Violance.

so im 14 and my live with my aunt, ive been struggling with my mental health since I was five and since then ive been told to kms by my older sister and people around school starting all the way back at primary school, when I was around 6 or 7 I had hurt myself for the very first time and some people say thats impossible for a 6 year old to know what that is or how to do anything to hurt myself purposly but if you grew up in my house you would understand. I grew up with a lot of family violence from my step dad and my mum, and my dad was out of the picture since I was 3 and obviously as a 3 year old I thought it was my fault and my mum had told me it was my fault. then when I was maybe 7 or 8 my mum met her best friend at the times boyfriend and he started SAing me and I thought rhat was normal but it got too much so at the age of 9 I made the decision that no 9 year old should ever make, I made the decision to try take my life repeatedly since this first time. picking up SH habits of cutting, but the only reason I am sharing this is because no one seems to be listening to how I feel, to this day I am still struggling with my mental health and my aunty or mum or dad do not gaf and I need someone that would listen.

suzy i never want to see you again. we used to shittalk so many people that you even started shit talking your gf, but a few weeks ago when i made a joke about her having messy hair you fucking changed up on me. now you cant go a conversation without sarcastic laughter and being a bitch. i ve only ever spoke to you because of your gf and her and my friend who you ungratefully sacked off after a week i just wish you wouldnt be such a massive bitch to everyone. ive tried getting into your interests but thats just got me called a creep and stalker like weve known eachother for a few years i thought i coul like what you like. youve even turned your gf (my friendd since primary school) against me i cant even speak to her without you interrupting me and changing the topic, or you dragging her away to talk to someone else

Y’all I know this is a common problem, and maybe I’m just another sufferer

My wife has been cheating on me— that’s what my child says. She’s just 7 years old— an age where she shall burst with creativity, she could possibly be lying— right? That’s what I thought last week, but was proven to be true today. Indeed that intelligent 7 year old’s words were right

I feel bad for her, how come she knows what cheating is at that young age?

My wife cheated, I don’t really care

My daughter has been going through more than I expected her to ever come across, and I never realised. How do I cheer her up now?

I'm questioning my worthiness for this position. The thought keeps surfacing that my appointment might have been due to a lack of preferred internal connections for others. What am I supposed to make of these feelings?"

It all started a year ago when I made what I thought was the best decision of my life. At 31, I believed it was time to leave my stable job in IT behind and dive into the world of entrepreneurship. With big dreams and a heart full of optimism, I launched my very own startup, a SaaS platform I was sure would revolutionize the industry. Like, genuinely, who knew the wave of AI would come crashing down like this?? I figured I had everything planned perfectly. But, man, was I wrong...

The competition was like nothing I could have ever imagined!!! Random people, just like me, were popping up everywhere, launching their own startups left and right. It was as if every corner I turned, there was a new challenger, a new innovation, leaving me perpetually chasing my own tail. The market felt saturated, and I started to doubt whether I even stood a chance in this vast ocean of tech geniuses. Every day felt like a losing battle and my once-thriving enthusiasm quickly turned into a somber reality.

To add insult to injury, finding my footing back into the job market has been nothing short of a nightmare. Who would have thought that stepping out for a bit would make re-entry so darn difficult??? I compiled my resume, updated my LinkedIn, and started the arduous process of networking, only to find out most employers were more interested in AI-savvy candidates or fresh graduates with the latest knowledge. Can you blame them, though? I mean, keeping up with technology nowadays feels like chasing a bullet train. Nonetheless, my confidence has taken a serious hit...

It's not that I regret my decision to pursue my own path, but, wow, it's been one heck of a ride that's left me questioning my choices. Why didn't anyone tell me that sometimes chasing your dreams smashes you right smack into a brick wall?? I asked myself if maybe I'd been too hopeful, too naïve, to think that an idea alone would secure success. I wonder how many others out there have been in my shoes, finding themselves between a rock and a hard place, trying to crawl out. It's tough, and I definitely did not anticipate this level of difficulty.

Looking back, one might call it a "learning experience," but I'm just trying to pick up the pieces now. At least, the lessons I've learned along the way could fill a book! But hey, life isn't about regrets, it's about moving forward, right? Though my venture didn't pan out as I had hoped, maybe another door will open... eventually. In the meantime, I'll keep pushing through, exploring new avenues, and retaining the hope that tomorrow might bring better opportunities! 😉 Am I alone in this, or are there others who feel this struggle, too??

I (F22) have been dating my girlfriend (F21) for 3 years.

🧡 We met 1-2 weeks before starting college, since we were going to be classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days, she hated it and invited herself to sleep over at my place (we barely knew each other). We hooked up that night - and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype, I know.

🌈 At first, I hid from my parents that she was living with me since they were paying my rent and didn’t know her. After 2 months, we made it official. A few months later, she met my parents (they thought we were just friends) and they adored her. She came home with me every visit. After 2 years, I told them we were together, and surprisingly, they were super supportive - even got over their strong homophobia for her. Now they treat her like their own daughter, and my whole family loves her... even more than they love me, sometimes.

💼 She’s been a super supportive partner and has helped me a lot with my business. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without her. But she doesn’t have a job, and her abusive parents don’t support her or even know about us. She lives off a small scholarship allowance and feels guilty for not contributing more. I got her a laptop, my dad got her a phone, but she refuses to let me hire her because she wants to earn her own money. I usually cover everything, and I don’t mind since my business does very well. We recently moved to another apt, and my parents still pay the rent for both of us.

💔 The truth is, I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I was probably just scared of being alone in a new city and clung to her because we were both lesbians and colleagues. I mistook her vibe for something more masculine at first, but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. I do love her personality - she’s emotional, artistic, and sees the world beautifully. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside. In the first year we were very active se)(ually, but now I am forcing myself to do it. I'm not enjoying it.

🕳️ When I moved away for college, I was excited to live independently, but that never really happened. She moved in almost immediately, and we became co-dependent: always together, doing everything side by side. Now that we just finished college, I feel like I missed out on everything -freedom, partying, self-discovery. While others were out living, I was working nonstop on my business. I am succesful, I've even been on the news, but I feel empty, like I sold my soul for money. Sometimes, I think the only escape is death. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, but I’m scared to leave. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic.

🏠 I’ve been saving for a house abroad and told her it’s for both of us, but she hasn’t contributed financially because she doesn’t have a job. I’m not upset - most people our age aren’t making this much, but she constantly compares herself to me and feels like a failure. She has breakdowns because she can’t provide, even though most students don’t have it figured out yet. I tried encouraging her to freelance; she got one client and gave up. I have tons of business and investment ideas, but she won’t act on them. I can’t keep pushing her. I’m already exhausted from running my business and dealing with my own mental health issues.

🌍 I’ve always valued freedom, and marriage feels like a cage. I like being alone and dream of traveling the world. I could afford to do it now, but I can’t because she can’t afford it and feels guilty when I pay. I know she’ll get a job eventually and things might balance out, but for now, I’m sad my youth is slipping away. My past relationships were traumatic - one landed me in the hospital, another was a drug addict, one dug up her dead dog’s skull, and another cheated on me while I paid for everything because she was nearly homeless. This time, I chose someone kind and stable, not really my type, but safe. She’s never hurt me, but I’m still unhappy. And even though I know she’s not using me, I’m tired of always being the provider.

📱💬 I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. I didn't tell my gf that that girl broke up with her partner, because I wanted to keep things safe. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

💀 I want to be honest. I hoped we’d become best friends and maybe more. Some of our chats felt like flirting. She complimented me a lot, and we talked nonstop. After we started talking, I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t love her and wanted to break up. She was devastated and she thought I was falling for that girl. I couldn’t break up for real because I worried about my parents and that my girlfriend would have nowhere to live. I told another time I wanted to break up, and she begged on her knees for me to stay. We’re stuck together for at least two more years because we’re doing our masters in the same city. I feel trapped and often think about su!cide as the only way out. The pressure from my parents, business, and her situation feels overwhelming.

💔 It’s been 1 year since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. Now I see it was emotional cheating and wrong. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me and started trying to be more masculine, feeling like she was competing and getting easily triggered.

🚫 I’m stuck. Leaving my girlfriend now would ruin my relationship with my family, and she’d have nowhere to go. But staying makes me more depressed every day. I’m on medication and feel like my youth is slipping away. I regret not exploring more before her. I only slept with 2 women before. When I tried to break up, she begged me to stay and offered that I could sleep around while she waited but I refused because that wouldn’t be fair to her.

🪞I’m still dating her but feel guilty for leading her on. I’ve lost myself in this relationship and put on 10 kg. I hate the way I look. I wanted someone who would push me, but she’s my mirror. We even say the same things and act alike. We often leave the house messy because we’re both struggling mentally and isolated from friends. She had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Please tell me what you think about this situation. You can be harsh, because I know that what I did was not moral at all. I haven’t told any of my friends this, because I am afraid. All of our friends are common and they would think I am a s!lut. I have been keeping this inside for over one year. Thank you!