Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

This is really dumb. I played a game before covid and throughout it and it helped me a lot. I’m on ft rn with my boyfriend (who is very supportive and sweet) but is playing a new game which is just like the old one (you probably can guess) and I mentioned it and he basically said it sucked. I said it was a game I loved and he just kinda tore it down which was new. Idk maybe I’m just reading in to much and I’ve been very emotional due to birth control lmao

I find myself in a unique position that I can't quite put my finger on. At 23, I feel like I should have a better grasp on what my relationships are supposed to look like, yet here I am, questioning whether I’m in a queerplatonic relationship or something that defies categorization altogether. It’s complicated when the emotional bonds of friendship start feeling very much like partnership, yet the labels we’ve been given don’t seem to fit. You know that feeling when you have a deep connection with someone, where the lines between friendship and romance are so blurred that you’re left wondering if you should just throw caution to the wind and embrace whatever this is or if you need to examine it more critically?

I mean, we spend nearly all of our time together—cooking dinners, binge-watching shows, even having those deep midnight conversations that last for hours. There's a comfort level that’s reminiscent of a long-term romantic relationship, but we never actually call ourselves a couple. We’ve both made it clear that we don’t want to label our relationship in typical terms, but the nature of our bond seems to challenge the boundary between friendship and a queerplatonic relationship. At times, it feels like we’re almost like partners in crime; the way we support each other emotionally feels heavy with significance. But when I look for definitions to cling to, I often question if what we have is actually queerplatonic. Does it have to fit into a convenient box, or can it simply exist outside of labels?

When we’re navigating the world together, I notice how we interact with other people. Friends often ask if we’re a couple because we do share physical affection, like holding hands or hugging, which typically imply romance. They exchange glances that seem to suggest I should either embrace this label or clarify my feelings. In these moments, I can’t help but feel a bit anxious. Are we doing something wrong by not defining ourselves as a couple? Or is there a possibility that this unusual connection is valid just on its own, and it doesn’t need to conform to societal expectations? There's so much unexpected joy in our relationship that questions whether I should just lean into the ambiguity; I often vacillate between wanting to clarify and remaining in this emotionally rich, undefined space.

Navigating these waters becomes even murkier when it comes to communicating about our feelings. We touch upon it sometimes, but genuine discussions about what we’re feeling and whether we want to label our relationship always seem to get sidestepped. I’m left wondering if it’s fear that holds us back, perhaps a fear of disrupting the beautiful rhythm we have established. Or maybe it's the excitement of being in something unique that keeps us from placing a set name on it, feeling that labeling it could somehow dilute what’s special. So, I ask you: when it comes to relationships that are this complicated—where do you draw the line? Are we too hesitant to discuss the nature of our bond, or is there wisdom in letting it float in this undefined space where love, affection, and friendship coexist harmoniously? I’m truly curious to hear what others think about my situation;

I feel like today was a day of hell. Everything was so disorganized. I felt like I was skipping work since I only showed up two out of three days this week. I don't want to show up on other days, but I feel a very uncomfortable level of responsibility, especially when it comes to birthday celebrations and other things. I don't want to attend celebrations; I'm there to do a great job, not to integrate in such a friendly way. I like my solitude.

I feel like I regained my solitude today. I don't know, I felt like I was getting my life back after a long time. I don't like the country I live in; there are difficulties and so on, but I feel like everything is bearable. I had to manage the psychiatrist in detail; she was influenced by my father, as I thought. She took it seriously, thank goodness, that I didn't stop the treatment; I feel good because she's attentive and also, she admits, the effect of my routine on the healing of the issue. I feel very valued by the psychiatrist, but it's difficult for her; nevertheless, we're on the journey together. It's not the best I ever hoped for.

For some reason, I feel like I've returned to normal because I feel like I can tolerate the world as it is, imperfect from my perspective and like everyone else's. I feel like I can tolerate everything now, and I'm happy about it. I was also happy to see my stepmother and her father. I don't know, all in all, I had a normal day and I was able to tolerate it well; I didn't expect that. Maybe it's because I was also able to get away from the psychiatrist and her influence. Seeing that we were able to handle ourselves, I feel like everything is fine now. It was always my life's goal to be able to manage with a psychologist, or a psychiatrist. I felt welcomed back into the world, into society itself.

I have to confess, out of all this adventure I went through, I feel like I finally got what I wanted. To be able to deal with a therapist, to work as a team in some way, not just one person on one side and me on the other. That's why, I confess, my dental treatment didn't work, in any way, that was it. Since I left my therapist, I felt like the world had turned its back on me because there was no way out of my environment; that's how I understood it. Feeling like I've finally entered, entered the world, is simply fantastic, sensational. I feel like I can walk the streets again completely normally, tolerate the day, write many things, many ideas, but always with the feeling that my efforts in mental health, if they're welcomed by anyone, well, actually by everyone now, but mainly by those who consist of the mental health aspect. That support, that verification, makes me feel like I'm on the right track, or at least, seen by someone beyond myself, and I like that, I have to confess.

I have to confess it. I feel like that was the cure for my entire illness. Just that. I feel like I'm finally believed, taken seriously, that I see beyond, that I can handle the treatment. That I can finally handle treatment, that I'm taken into account within it, that I, as a patient, deserve respect for myself and my processes—I finally achieved that. I have to confess: The only cure was having someone check on me with my mental health, working as a team. That was it. I can't do that with anyone in my circle, because no one takes care of their mental health, that's the pure truth. So, it's feeling an immense burden.

I feel that the cure, moreover, was always returning to a mental health professional, but one that truly exists. That they don't abandon you, that they're not a scam, that they don't leave you stranded, that they don't act on behalf of others but on behalf of you, that there is a therapy given for me, given by another, that you can be supported by another. Not help, I didn't want help, support, support to keep me going. That was all I needed to get back to life, to go back to my life as before. That was it. Not someone coming and doing my job. The fact that I can't do it, that was the worst part. That's why dental treatment became pure hell for me. I understand everything now.

How difficult was this for those around me? A little support, so I could do my thing my way, without changing my routine unless it was for support. This, I insist, and I think it sums it all up, was the cure. A feeling that my life could be accepted by others based on my well-being and not theirs, and even so, it produces well-being for them, perhaps not giving them what they want, but by setting an example of being in context and not unconsciously destroying a world in unrecognizable ways. How difficult was it for everyone to see that? It was too simple. How hard was it to find a psychiatrist? Too hard. In the end, he was the only savior of everything because he was the only one around me who could do that. Does that make sense? That he's the only one? The problem with the psychiatrist is that everyone had the blessed humility to say they didn't know how to treat me. But was there any? Barely one and a half people, although my mental health was pushed aside during treatment. How difficult was it for others to see that? Honestly, the dental treatment was the least of my worries, from every point of view. Rightfully so, and I understand wholeheartedly, I ended up exploding at everyone.

Ironically, right now, the psychiatrist is the one putting the pieces together. She barely does six minutes of treatment, and she does so much more than the others. In addition to one person, whose example lifts heaven and earth and changes my life. From the smallest details, I categorically say, these people saved my life. In the dental service too, listening to me for a while, playing for a while, caring for me, being present, making the effort. That also did something very meaningful for me, and I'm not going to just give up. I can't do it. Also, damn, another doctor who supported me with the psychological aspect took it seriously, and in a way that I didn't get carried away with illusions. That one also deserves my award. These people, who did something, because those who operated didn't do a thing, except move some teeth with sophisticated and useless methods because they didn't attack anything, I can't let them be left aside in any way.

Like genuinely bro wtf is wrong with me . Today was going great then I binged ☹️ like honestly this happens so much so way tmr I’ll do better and im not better. Like genuinely if I HAD JUST STARTED LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN JAN BROOO MY BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN TEA

I still feel like Im the odd one out at college even though I've been there for 5 weeks now. I also hate college.

I feel so alone and I hate my life .

I was talking to someone from my old school on Monday and she said how was college going and I said it was going ok but only when the tutors are thire and she also said I seamed a lot happier. But I'm not any happier at college because I'm always having to fill out from about myself that they should all ready have.

At 24, I met my boyfriend, who was then 23, while seeking to expand my furry family with a third dog at a local animal shelter. Our mutual affection for animals sparked our relationship. We spent months getting to know each other and after making our relationship exclusive, I was soon introduced to his family.

We currently live separately, but frequent visits keep our connection strong. Recently, we discussed taking our relationship to the next level by moving in together. While he was working, I met with his parents to talk about this significant step. They were initially supportive, but their attitudes shifted dramatically when I mentioned my pets—three dogs, two cats, and a turtle—that would be moving in with us.

Their sudden change in demeanor alarmed me, especially when they explicitly asked if my boyfriend knew about all of my pets. The conversation took a darker turn when his mother revealed why they avoided having pets: my boyfriend had a past of fatally harming animals during his teens. According to them, he displayed this disturbing behavior without any discernible reason and simply disposed of the animals afterwards. This revelation was shocking and deeply disturbing, forcing me to confront a side of him I had never seen.

Grasping the gravity of what his parents disclosed, I stalled our plans to move in together, claiming I preferred to wait until my current lease ended. Although he seems eager to interact with my pets, bringing them food and toys, I've maintained my distance, not allowing him alone with them. Whenever he visits, if a friend isn't available to watch over my animals, I find myself anxiously monitoring every interaction.

Living with this secret has been torturous. Despite his affectionate behavior towards my pets, including my cat who often cuddles in his lap, I can't shake the fear his parents instilled in me about his potential to harm them. It's confusing and heartbreaking to feel this way.

Imagine if this situation were a part of a reality show. Viewages and discussions would be heightened due to the moral dilemmas and suspense around potential risks. Viewers would likely be captivated by the unfolding of these hidden pasts and the emotional rollercoaster experienced by someone torn between love and fear for the welfare of her beloved pets.

Would you advise someone to stay in a relationship if they discovered their partner previously harmed animals?

My fiancé and I met at church seven years ago and began seeing each other three years ago. We were both previously married and quietly separated from and divorced our previous spouses. Our separations began before we started dating and our divorces were finalized after we got together.

Due to the timing of the start of our relationship and lack of broadcasting our separations, there was a lot of that judgey church gossip surrounding us being adulterers and homewreckers.

Okay fine, we were not divorced yet and that was not a great thing for us to do. We rushed God's timing and plan and that didn't need to be.

But now that our relationship has gotten more serious (IE visible), it feels like our congregation has shadowbanned us, so to speak. We were both quite active in numerous ministries and elected positions. (You know how 80% of church work is done by 20% of the congregation? We are both in that 20%. Or at least, we'd like to be.)

Over the last year as our relationship has taken off, we have been removed from most of our committees by ways of not being elected to serve another term. With one exception, no one was elected in our places. On an informal/adhoc basis, we are not selected to participate in the worship service ahead of time. If a worship participant does not show up and there is a sudden need for someone to fill in, we are not asked and when we volunteer, we are told no that's okay, someone else will do it. Or no one does it and the service goes on without.

I am finding these actions to be punitive in nature, especially since we are in a small aging congregation where there aren't a lot of people who are able to help out. So to be informally told that no one doing this task is better than one of us doing this task is weird.

The only tasks we have held onto are the major tasks that no one has shown interest in managing instead. The food pantry is a one woman show and the online media streaming is a one man show.

It hurts me that this place we've called our religious home can take our money and our physical labor, but will not allow us to serve our church in a visible capacity anymore. He is content with having less to do, so he isn't bothered the same way I am, but he has noticed the pattern.

I would like to speak to someone at the church about this, but who? I feel like I would just be gaslit. Oh no, that isn't what's happening. We just want other people to have the chance to contribute. But the liturgist pool is 2 people less. Communion takes longer because there are fewer assistants. We use online music when we can't locate an organist or pianist in the community.

It's just. Weird. And I don't know much what to do. I am contemplating church searching after the new year and seeing if a clean slate would do us good.

Am I tripping? Am I not? Is it worth having a conversation with the pastor about? Who knows? Not me.

My grandpa passed recently after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer’s. While his passing was a sad event, I took comfort knowing he was finally at peace. In the days leading up to his funeral, my sister Leah and I were sorting out the guest list. During the conversation, Leah mentioned she wanted to bring her girlfriend to the ceremony.

While I’ve always supported Leah and her choices, the rest of our family hasn't been as understanding. They’ve never met her girlfriend and were quite firm about their disapproval. I advised Leah against bringing her girlfriend, fearing it would only lead to unnecessary tension at the event. Leah, however, felt vulnerable and expressed that her girlfriend’s presence was crucial for her emotional well-being. She revealed that they were engaged, asserting that her girlfriend was practically family now, whether the rest of our family liked it or not.

I expressed my concern that Leah seemed to be instigating drama. I felt that if her presence was contingent on her partner being there, perhaps it was better she skipped the funeral, reminding her the day was meant to honor our grandfather, not to challenge family dynamics. This upset Leah greatly, and eventually, she decided not to attend.

Almost a week had gone by since the funeral and communication between Leah and I had been minimal. When I finally called her, she inquired about the funeral. I gave her a detailed description, but she grew upset, regretting her absence. Her response irritated me because her decision to miss the funeral was deliberate, aimed at making a statement. This escalated into another heated argument, and her girlfriend intervened, ending our call abruptly while criticizing my role as a brother.

Reflecting on these events, I wonder if I could have managed things better despite trying my best to mediate. What if my attempt to keep peace was perceived differently?

I imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the reactions would be intensely magnified. Audiences would likely be split, with some sympathizing with my intent to maintain familial harmony and others siding with Leah’s right to support from her partner in difficult times. The high emotional stakes and conflicting values could have made for a very compelling episode, drawing strong reactions from viewers who identify with the struggles of balancing personal relationships with family expectations.

Can someone help me

So, my best friend just broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago, and honestly, I have no clue how to handle it... Like, what do you even say to someone who’s heartbroken? 😕 He’s been with her for three years, and I could tell he really loved her. They had their ups and downs like any couple, but I always thought they’d make it work somehow. Now he’s just... empty, I guess. He doesn’t talk much, barely eats, and even when I try to joke around, he just gives that half-smile, you know the one? That smile that’s there just to make you stop worrying. It’s hard to see someone you care about going through that kind of pain, especially when you can’t fix it. I’ve been trying to hang out with him more, take him out for walks, grab a drink, or just watch something dumb to distract him, but I can tell it’s not really helping. Maybe I’m trying too hard? Or maybe I’m not doing enough?? I keep wondering what people actually do in these situations, like, do you let them cry it out, or do you keep them busy so they don’t think too much? 🤔

Yesterday, he came over to my place, and we just sat in silence for almost an hour before he started talking. He said, “I don’t even know who I am without her.” That hit me hard, not gonna lie. I wanted to tell him something deep or comforting, but my brain just froze. I didn’t wanna sound like those people who drop clichés like “time heals all wounds” or “you’ll find someone better.” Those lines sound so empty when you’re the one hurting, right? But then again, what else can you say when you don’t know how to take away someone’s pain? I just told him that it’s okay to not be okay, and that he doesn’t need to rush to move on. I also told him that he’s still him, with or without her. I don’t know if that helped, but he nodded, so maybe it did. Still, I keep asking myself, what’s the right balance between giving someone space and showing that you care? Because I don’t wanna smother him, but I also don’t wanna disappear and make him think he’s alone in this;

The funny thing is, I’ve never been through a serious breakup myself, so I can’t even relate to what he’s feeling. I can imagine it’s like losing a part of yourself, like this big void suddenly opens up in your life. You go from having someone to share every little thing with to having silence in moments that used to be full of laughter. I guess that’s why I’m struggling, I’m trying to understand something I’ve never lived. I don’t wanna be the guy who says “you’ll be fine” when I have no idea what fine even means in that context. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is just sit there and listen, without trying to fix anything. But at the same time, it feels weird doing nothing while someone’s clearly hurting. It’s that helpless feeling that messes me up. Maybe you’ve been in my place before? How did you comfort your friend when they were heartbroken? Did you talk it out, or did you let them figure it out on their own? I feel like everyone handles breakups differently, some need to talk, others shut down, and some pretend they’re okay until they actually are. 😔

I guess what I’m really wondering is, what’s the right thing to do for someone who’s not ready to move on yet but also doesn’t want to be alone? I can’t force him to forget her, and I don’t wanna distract him to the point where he’s just ignoring what he feels. Maybe comfort isn’t about finding the right words but just being there, showing up even when you don’t know what to say. I’ve been thinking maybe I could plan a weekend trip somewhere, just us, to get him out of the same routine. Or maybe I should just keep checking in, one day at a time. The hard part is seeing him blame himself for everything when I know it wasn’t just his fault. He keeps saying he should’ve been better, done more, listened more... but relationships end for a reason, and it’s never only one person’s fault. I told him that, and he looked like he wanted to believe me, but his eyes said otherwise. So yeah, here I am, stuck trying to figure out how to comfort someone after a breakup, not just say the right thing, but be the right kind of friend. Maybe that’s what real comfort is: showing up, even when you’re just as lost as they are. 💬

I have ADHD and I will sometimes have panic attacks which I find myself stuck in. Why is it that my ADHD gets in my way? How do I stop it?

Okay, so I know I tagged it as "workplace drama" but it's more like college drama. I was a 3D animation major tho, and I was in a classroom of 9 students in my 3rd year, so I feel like it's kind of alike. Anyways, I have a story that, in retrospect, I definetely had a part in the drama, but I also definitely suffered from it at the time. I just want to know your opinion on if I was being a bit paranoid (which I felt I was sometimes) or not.

I feel like the atmosphere in my class degraded the more time passed. In my 1st year, it was mostly okay, I was discovering how 3D softwares worked and just trying to make at least a decent job with what I understood. I managed to model the second most important character, create some assets, animate and even voice act as the leading character in that movie (I'm a bit embarrassed about how my voice acting turned out, but I'm still proud I had the opportunity to do it) ! Group wise, it was also mostly okay, I just didn't talk all that much, though I would a little bit with people I thought I could be friends with. There was just this thing that bothered me a bit towards the end of the 1st year. I was talking with two upperclassmen, and the classmate that I was hanging around with (that was sitting behind me, let's call him Foo) was looking at us talking with a sort of angry expression while I had my back turned ? When I turned around to look at him again, I asked what was going on and like...he kept going defensive and was like "wow, so I can't look anymore ?" or "okay, then I'm not looking anymore" while pouting and things along those lines. To this day, I think it was weird, but also at the time, I was genuinely confused and was wondering if something was wrong.

Second year, however, was the WORST for me, I literally tried to fail as much as possible so that I'd get expelled and not have to go to college anymore. That was probably because I had a conversation with some of my teammates about who they'd want to work with if they had the chance to choose, and from that conversation, with a quick math, I realized that practically nobody wanted to work with me, and it weighed on me for the rest of the year. There was also this rampant "he said she said" thing going on. For example, a teammate (let's call her G-A) came up to me telling me how she found the way the way Foo smiled creepy or how the leader of our film for the second year (I'll call him G-B) was acting before leaving and other things. I remember the first time she came to me to gossip, I wanted to cry a bit because I didn't want to associate myself with gossip like that...I still ended up gossiping sometimes because I gotta survive and try to fit in this class somehow (which I failed to do so). I was thinking that, maybe I could be friends with her and that we could get along. I also tried my best to open up to her a little bit about what I liked and whatnot, because I was struggling with speaking up and was mostly silent. I'm absolutely ashamed I joined in this, and I do not wish to get myself entangled like that or feel as misrable as this ever again. If it isn't G-A, it was Foo who was kind of bothering me because I kept catching him staring at me. I think there were definitely some times where I thought I did catch him, but yeah, most of the time I did catch him staring. And everytime he'd go defensive.

3rd year of college was also a bad year. Foo's staring problem got worse, especially because I was seated next to him. Overtime, I've grown tired of it. My last straw was when I was trying to look at the board that was on my right, and Foo also happened to be seated on my right, and he proceeded to go all like "you were looking at me". I tried to explain to him that I wanted to look at the board, but he insisted that I was looking at him. From that day, I've decided to not talk to him anymore or to even look at him for the rest of the year. I was that petty 😅​. Apart from this, I was criticized by G-A over my work flow even though I was in the process of making something, the parts of the animatic that I was in charge of ended up not making it to the final animatic footage (G-A told me that I didn't do much for the team one day EVEN THOUGH I tried to greyscale the shots that were in the animatic to the best of my ability knowing my parts weren't included), almost every prop I made ended up being replaced by one another teammate did, the people in the team didn't include me in the animating team (even though I could animate just fine), Foo one day decided it was a good idea to take an object that I did to shade it without warning me when I clearly stated in the group chat that I'd take care of it. Basically, no matter what I tried to do, it didn't feel like my contributions were good enough to make it to the final product according to the entire team. Only a poster that was important in the film along with a few assets (that you don't even see that much) ended up making it, and even then, the poster almost got replaced by Foo's own version of the poster. The only reason my version was picked was because the main prof visibly had mixed feelings concerning Foo's version, and I looked at the prof like "please don't choose it". There was also this one time where G-A decided that we should add TeamViewer out of nowhere. From what I understood, we could basically take control of a computer remotely. I didn't really like that plan because of how sudden it was, and at this point I was a little paranoid, so I made it seem like I complied with it at campus while not installing TeamViewer at home, partly because I didn't understand how to even set it up, but mostly because I didn't like the idea of people accessing my computer at home from campus. Turns out, days later, G-A tried to access my computer via TeamViewer from campus, but because I didn't set it up at home, it didn't work. She said it was so that she could do some normal maps of textures of some posters, but in my eyes, TeamViewer isn't needed for this kind of thing because you can convert pictures into normal maps online, so it was at least a bit suspiscious to me. Apart from this, the group in itself still had a problem with gossiping and drama, so much that one of the leaders of the group ended up gathering everyone around a table to try and address the elephant in the room. The atmosphere got bad overtime, and with how little I had when it comes to assignments for the last movie, the main prof eventually told me I could not come to campus at a certain point because it would be pointless for me to show up only to not do anything the entire day. The moment I knew it was time for me to not go to campus anymore, I was literally out of there, I could not stand spending more time with those classmates anymore.

The more I type about this, the more I'm like "wow, college sucked :D", but I'm so used to things not going well in some aspects that I can't help but laugh. I guess I just want to have a trace of this story somewhere so that I don't forget about it. Again, please feel free to tell me your opinion about it, maybe I'll get a good laugh out of this. Thank you for reading this whole novel, and I wish you a good day/night <33

I married my spouse, Ryan, six years earlier. Ryan was a widower and father to two young sons; Jayden now 16 and Ethan now 15. Ryan’s previous wife passed away when the children were 5 and 6 years old respectively, and we crossed paths a year later, initially bonding over our shared interests and eventually, our friendship blossomed into love. I have a good relationship with Jayden and Ethan. However, they have made it clear they prefer not to have a motherly figure in me, which I respected; I had hopes for a unique bond of friendship instead. Since Ryan and I tied the knot, his parents have repeatedly expressed that I should fully step into the mother role for the boys. Ryan has defended our situation to them, and they toned down their remarks around him, but every once in a while, they’d remark about the lack of closeness between the boys and me or criticize my mothering style.

Despite my attempts to ignore these comments, I could feel the strain of maintaining a distant relationship with Jayden and Ethan. We coexist peacefully, but their tight-knit relationship with their dad only accentuates my outsider status. Moreover, during my pregnancy, their grandparents closely inspected my interactions, adding to the emotional toll as I navigated the already challenging waters of having a baby. When I confided in my own mom, who offered her unwavering support, things came to a head during one of her visits.

My mother-in-law visited, intending to discuss a rejected Christmas gift idea—a "mother" necklace from the boys and my newborn. She criticized the boys' perception of me not being their mom and maintained that I needed to make more effort. My mom quickly intervened, stating she should leave and not meddle further. Tensions flared, and I finally expressed how overwhelmed I felt by her and her husband's unnecessary remarks and pressure. This confrontation led Ryan to suggest a brief separation from his parents. However, the narrative spun by his mom painted me as irrational in my outburst.

Honestly, I sometimes wonder how this would have played out if our lives were being documented on a reality show. Likely, the audience might see the heartfelt struggle and maybe agree that the pressure from the in-laws is indeed overbearing, or perhaps they might think I should do more to bridge the gap with Jayden and Ethan, despite their resistance.

I feel terrible about all this. Have I been a bad person?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and to be honest, I’m a bit confused. I’m a 28-year-old guy who identifies as bisexual, but I keep hearing people talking about pansexuality and it’s making me question what I really know about my own identity. I mean, I’ve always thought of bisexuality as being attracted to two or more genders, while pansexuality seems to be more about being attracted to people regardless of gender. But does that mean pansexuals are more open, or am I just overthinking this? Like, can you even clearly define the difference between the two, or are they just different labels people use to describe similar feelings? I’ve had friends tell me that it really comes down to personal choice and how someone relates to their own attractions, but I don’t want to assume that my experience as bisexual is the same as someone else’s experience as pansexual. It’s honestly exhausting, and maybe I need to just chill out a bit, but these identities feel so fluid and I just want to understand them better.

I remember talking to this girl I met at a party who identified as pansexual, and it was kind of an enlightening experience. She talked about how she feels attracted to people based on their personality over their gender. It made me think about my own preferences and if I truly limit myself, or if I'm just as open as she is but with a different label. Sometimes I catch myself questioning if there’s a right way to identify, like should I be more fluid or should I stick to how I’ve identified for years? It’s frustrating because I certainly don’t want to misrepresent myself, but it also feels like there’s this constant pressure to define myself in a way that makes sense to others. Are these labels helping us connect, or are we just complicating things? If you’re reading this, what do you all think? Is there really a significant difference between being bisexual and pansexual, or is it just a matter of semantics? What’s your experience with these identities?

I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.

I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.

I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.

Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.

Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?

As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.