Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

ever had that feeling when you're just so anxious, like the world’s closing in, and then suddenly you're burning up with fever? so, i was just wondering if anxiety can actually cause a fever or if it’s all in my head. i'm 17 and honestly, the thought's been bugging me for a while now. whenever i have a big test coming up, or something stressful happens, i start feeling really hot. maybe it’s the nerves? i always thought fever was more about being sick, but it’s hard to ignore when you’re sweating buckets, right? it’s not like i’m shivering or anything, but i get so warm and it's all downhill from there; really messes with my focus and everything.

i asked some friends but they kinda just shrugged it off, saying everyone gets stressed sometimes. but like, isn’t there a point where your body's just like, "hey, take a chill pill"? i mean, isn’t it kind of ridiculous that my body reacts this way over school stuff? my mom thinks i’m just being dramatic, and maybe i am, but hey, a fever’s a fever, isn’t it? i’ve tried to keep cool, literally, like staying in air-conditioned rooms and stuff, but it doesn't always help. hmu if anyone else feels like their anxiety’s got a thermostat of its own, because i'd love to know if this is just a “me” problem or if it’s something more common. does anyone else get those anxiety sweats, or am i just out here dealing with my body on extreme mode? anyway, if i figure it out, i’ll definitely share what’s up. peace out!

i got laid off a few months ago, and it seems as though my body's clock remains stuck there. Every morning without fail my eyes snap open at precisely 4am. It was the time I used to drag myself out of bed for work, and now it's just an unwelcomed reminder of what once was. Sleeping through this disruption has been impossible; my body does not care that I no longer need to be anywhere by dawn. Just because I lost that job doesn't mean I suddenly acquired the ability to sleep in like everyone assumes.

It's increasingly frustrating having to deal with this. I've tried adjusting my bedtime, all kinds of relaxation techniques before sleeping but none prevail over this rigid biological alarm system I'm cursed with right now. The speculation here is that after years of subjecting myself to such an early schedule, reprogramming might not be feasible anymore. While any semblance of leisure evades me during those ungodly hours, every attempt at productivity is met with bleary eyes and hardly functional cognitive faculties instead. It's like being taunted by the memory of employment yet powerless against confronting stagnant present circumstances while society shames you into feeling lazy when daylight graces your consciousness.

Hello. I’m 17, going into grade 12. And I know, whatever, teens are like this.. yada yada. But.. the thing is I feel like I’ve missed so much. That I will miss so much. It feels like there’s been something rooted in me that sets me apart, makes me unwanted.

I’m plus sized, and have been since I was small. I’ve been bullied most of my life, and honestly I’ve learned to live with it. I try to be myself, all the cheesy motivational quotes you see. But it’s just.. hard.

I’ve never had a real, required, stable relationship. I dated my friend for a while, but she was just exploring. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never had someone truly want me like that, so it feels. It hurts.

I’ve always been academic, but not extraordinarily so. I’m mediocre in ap classes, and that’s when I put my absolute all into that.

And while chasing that, I’ve missed.. everything. I’ve never been drunk, I’ve never smoked, I’ve never snuck out, or been reckless.

I’m just.. unremarkable. I feel so small. So invisible.

I get so lonely sometimes I can’t handle it. I don’t talk to anyone about my feelings. I resort to writing. Or art. But even then, I’m completely and totally unremarkable.

I want to be someone. I don’t have the motivation for anything. I just..

Idk. Am I being whiny? Should I just take more risks? Lose weight? How do I reach out- how do I take control of how I really want to live?

so I was just wondering when is an appropriate amount of time to move on from an ex and is it bad that we didn't break up long ago and I already have a new crush and im just wondering if I have this crush bc im newly single

pls help in the pov section

I think I might be the floater friend. I used to have a friend group of four people including me. I was actually the last one to be included, and I tend to be the quiet one while the other three are the ones who talk all the time. But that doesn’t mean I never react to their messages, I do. I’m just not the type who likes to initiate conversations all the time, especially when there’s nothing happening in my life.

But I can sense them slowly drifting away from me. I feel like one of them is the “leader” of the group, and she’s the one who kind of decides where the relationship goes between all of us. I recently found out they went back to their old group chat where I’m not included. I asked if something was going on, and we talked it out, but in the end they still ended up talking only among themselves.

Honestly, it really sucks. I feel excluded, but there’s nothing more I can do because I’ve already addressed it, and everything after that feels out of my control. I guess I’ll just let this friendship slowly fall apart.

I'm 21 and i lived a reverently hard life with an alcoholic father and drug addict mother, life wasn't easy but my older sister made it work. When I was 12 my oldest sister hung herself and my best friend shot herself 2 months later. i know death, and death knows me too. I've done all stages and moved past my emotions. but a few months ago, an 17 year old girl who i knew, lived with, helped her father raise her and love her was hit by a car at 5 in the morning because she rode her bike with no lights or reflectors. for a while i told her to use a light. i couldn't get her off the streets. i tried so so so fucking hard but i couldn't. so i showed her how to survive the streets. who to trust, who too watch for, what to watch for, how to watch your back without looking suspicious. she loved boxing, so me and her would practice for hours in the driveway leaving bruises on each other and laughing. right before she died i moved away 2 hours away from my home, my people, my village, everything i knew to move in with my boyfriend as i wanted out from under my father and in a life of my own. but she died. that 2 hour drive felt like 2000 years. everyone says i spoke a beautiful speech at her funeral but i barely remember it. i just remember her being so cold, telling her ill see her again one day and crying into her fathers chest [he's my uncle just not blood uncle] i came back with my boyfriend and helped move his family into a new home, i started a new job and have been struggling so so much. me and my boyfriend went through a period where we were fighting a lot. the moment things were getting better i found out he was on a fetish app talking to multiple girls and sending dick picks. he lied to my face and act like he didn't know i knew. things have finally started moving past that. but I'm stuck. i want my riley back, my fighter, my smoke buddy, my soul snatcher, my hot headed, spicy beautiful little girl back... i was only 4 years older then her but i felt like her mother. i loved her like i was her mother. i showered her when she was depressed and couldn't. i hand feed her right after and brushed her hair, dressed her and took her out. i want those days. id take seeing her severely depressed then in that casket because at least with one she's alive even if its barely. I almost got fired and on the edge of being fired. i feel like I'm not enough. i wasn't enough for my sister and best friend. i wasn't enough to keep her alive and smarter with her decisions, i wasn't enough to have him not cheat on me. I'm not enough to do good at work. I'm not enough. I'm never enough. I'm always too much or never enough. how can i move past something that turned my whole world upside down and across the galaxy. I'm so tired. and not in a "i wanna go to sleep" way but in a "see them all once again for eternity" kind of way. what do i do.......

I love lying to myself.

“It’s for me, so I can be happier!”

It’s for him, because I didn’t want it to become toxic.

“I’m not mad!”

I’m pissed, but with myself.

“It’s ok. I don’t care anymore. they’re all in my past!”

My hands are shaking.

It wasn’t you.

It was me.

It was all me.

I’m right here.

Can’t you see I’m waiting?

I took too long.

I ventured to far.

While you were waiting.

So does that make me the monster?

Does that mean I’m in the wrong?

I was the problem, hiding all along.

M y h a n d s a r e s h a k i n g .

If I could take us back, if I could just do that

And write in every empty space the words “I love you” in replace

Then maybe time would not erase me

If you could only know I never let you go

And the words I most regret

Are the ones I never meant to leave

Unsaid Emily

My husband, Alex, and I, both in our early 30s, have been navigating marital waters for several years now, holding hands for over a decade. Throughout our relationship, we've encountered rough seas, particularly because of my in-laws' behavior, with my mother-in-law (MIL) at the helm of our troubles. She has exhibited a pattern of control and intrusion, not only towards Alex but towards me as well, often manipulating him to try and bend me to her will in matters that frankly don’t involve her. She's been overbearing, outright disrespectful, and quite invasive. Fortunately, outright insults directly to my face are the only trespasses she hasn't committed.

I've repeatedly expressed my frustration to Alex, pleading with him to address the situation more firmly. However, his efforts have been tepid, leaving her behavior unchecked.

For years, I plastered on a smile and kept silent to avoid drama, but the grievances have stacked up so high that I'm constantly on the brink of eruption whenever we visit. I’ve even suggested to Alex that we should minimize our interactions with them for a while, but he insists on maintaining our visits. He's not blind to the toll it takes on me.

On a recent visit, the familiar pattern unfolded. MIL began her usual antics, and I reached my limit. This time, I voiced my objections, challenging every inappropriate and invasive remark she made. Taken aback, she questioned my sudden outspokenness. In a measured but clear tone, fueled by years of pent-up frustration, I confronted her about her continual disrespect. I told her plainly that she was reaping the consequences of her actions, of beds made and now to be lain in.

The atmosphere turned icy, and we soon left. Though I felt a surge of liberation from standing up for myself, the fallout was palpable. Alex seemed torn, MIL incensed. He later admitted he understood my feelings but wished to keep the peace, suggesting I apologize.

I stood my ground, stating that any future reconciliation would require visible change and respectful behavior from her end—that I wouldn't apologize for my outburst as it was neither disrespectful nor unwarranted. I reminded him of the numerous opportunities he had to intervene and that I had warned him no one would like it if I had to take a stand. I had never yelled or insulted her, so the idea of apologizing for my reactions felt absurd.

Imagine if this confrontation had unfolded on a reality TV show. Cameras rolling, capturing every charged word and sharp glance—a spectacle indeed! The drama would undoubtedly be heightened, with viewers on the edge of their seats, perhaps even siding with me or criticizing my outspoken moment. Reality TV thrives on these raw, emotional exchanges, turning personal battles into entertainment. Would the public see me as a villain or a heroine standing her ground?

Things at the office are definitely going from bad to worse. They don't know how to address people to establish a sense of belonging, primarily because there's no common ground around which to approach work other than compliance with the immediate supervisor. People have no basis for their opinions because the focus is essentially on meeting expectations; anything beyond that enters undefined territory where everyone applies their own principles. At a party I attended, I witnessed nothing but disappointment regarding what management, in my view, should be. The difficulties faced by managers in operating amidst the country's tragedies were discussed, aiming for a brighter, more normal future. However, we still don't know the steps to achieve any real normalcy, only the efforts made in that direction, but these efforts lack a solid methodological foundation. They say they need to hear from us, but what we want to tell them is that if they themselves don't know what to do with the company, even the most knowledgeable manager is unable to offer any input, since they don't operate according to management principles, but rather based on mere survival. Any comment made to them will be like jumping into a hell or a heaven, because in the midst of this struggle for survival there's a desperate search to escape, which in itself can lead to either appreciating the comment or making efforts to get the person making it to stop at all costs. The company's own "management" doesn't inspire confidence. It's also painful, it must be said, that they operate based on indirect messages; that is, they state that there is concern for the employee, that there are difficulties for the company's progress, but they assume certain situations regarding the nation's contribution in the midst of the tragedy, establishing a range of approval for what lies behind it, which makes employees who aren't involved feel uncomfortable. That's already a way of excluding us. The fact that they told us they wanted to hear from us is ironic because: if we came to a party to share, complaining definitely isn't in our nature.

This made that sharing feel like an effort to get everyone to come, at the cost of free food, to put us in a difficult position: an act of victimhood, justified by unspoken reasons, suppressing our individuality, making us feel guilty, watching them suffer, and thus prompting us to make comments that might seem ill-considered, taking advantage of the surprise they were asking for. It felt like they were searching for an excuse to tell other companies in the same community that: the situation was established, we expressed empathy, and we were asked if there was anything to say, and nobody said anything, even though many were absent after the tragedy. What a disgrace; it was a failed attempt at political self-preservation. The most disappointing thing for me was watching one boss make light of the way he manipulated another, making it public and presenting it as something common among them. He also expressed that the bosses support each other by protecting one another, which in itself shows that some bosses depend on others, each allowing themselves to live as they please, rather than pursuing improvement that would foster independence and allow each to focus more intently on their own area. And what hurt the most was when anyone dared to comment on how things were done, as this individual's attitude was one of overwhelming stress. Any attempt to listen, if one dared to offer a comment, was more of an illusion than a way to touch a nerve, leading to disastrous consequences, just as happens with this system.

It's also painful to see how the case of a young woman, the disappearance of a family member, was used as a propaganda tool. They made no mention of the efforts they made to find out how she was doing, keeping it a secret. The young woman had to make the effort to explain that they were doing it, presenting it as a sign of appreciation, when it was a complete contradiction to the spirit they had previously shown towards her: being there in times of emergency, but when they're not, it results in arguments, veiled insults, and other things. It's awful to see how they try to hide their contradiction in public, which shows they were trying to silence comments. They thought the young woman would keep quiet, wouldn't say anything, at the cost of having received this special treatment from them, but she didn't allow it, as it should have been. This matter should have been discussed publicly; there's a group for that. However, that would have exposed their hypocrisy right away. At least, it would have been the best scenario, accompanied by some apologies.

We are talking about a management style that definitely doesn't acknowledge its mistakes, unless they are obvious, and they readily admit them with a heroism far surpassing that of actors on stage. This style thrives on managing in its own way, completely detached from the true meaning of management, because it doesn't operate with human resources—considering their anatomy and context—to carry out events. Instead, it operates from a place of victimhood, coercion, and image. The company consists of positions but not standards, leading to the mere fulfillment of orders. These orders may well be in line with the job requirements, but they don't allow employees to develop a sense of place, which is what drives them to feel integrated into the organization, committed to safeguarding their position, and, initially, focused on fulfilling their job responsibilities. They understand the consequences of their actions within the structure and, of course, their limitations, as others also operate within the organization based on their positions.

We also discussed how relationships beyond the workplace are so neglected that they are actively undermined, as they hinder the individual's integration into the department. This is done through both negligence and direct abuse of power. Undoubtedly, this incident between me and this young woman, which required us to take action to move forward and stabilize our situation, has instilled distrust in management among all employees. They perceive that management acts out of self-interest, masking a hypocritical facade of heroism and addressing perceived needs, thus perpetuating the perception of a manipulative administration. Of course, this has had consequences not only for the employees but also within the management team itself. At that meeting, it was observed that each person followed a different approach to engaging with the staff: Some, as I mentioned, focused on supporting employees personally to promote workplace inclusion; others focused on self-help and management, also promoting workplace inclusion; and still others completely ignored the meeting and the discussions. It's clear that the meeting served as a way for the managers to vent their frustration at having carried the company, seemingly in the almost complete absence of the employees, and also as a way to unload their pent-up frustration on the other managers.

Thank God, and the worst part is that after the celebration, the company's WhatsApp group commented that the party had been wonderful. Where will this end? What I find is that the constant confrontation is applauded, or at least it's established that the conflict didn't occur from the perspective of the other actors, at the cost of indicating a willingness to return to war. If I'm the only one who noticed this, we're talking about a company that's completely out of touch with itself regarding the prevailing social situation within it.

Are we all just crows to you now? Are you just above it all? do you keep people around, just to drop them later? Should I ever have trusted you? Because I'm thinking that you do just abandon people as you see fit. I'm thinking that I never should have trusted you. I'm thinking that you never gave two shits about me. And you know what? if you didn't, I don't care anymore. You do you. I'll do me. We can go out separate ways. I don't mind. Friends drift all the time. It's a natural thing. And honestly, the way you treat people is your problem, not mine. I'm not mad at you. Not anymore. I'm over it. And you can go ahead and turn everyone else against me as well. I've done just fine on my own before and I can do it again. see ya.

my bf is out of town for the week for his family’s vacation and yesterday was day one and he barely talked to me and he said he would do better today and today he has talked a bit more than yesterday it still is not showing any effort. And then we where on the phone and his cousin let her friend come and he and her where laughing a lot and I just found it very weird and it seemed like she was flirting

Yesterday we had a very intense conversation about how I was feeling with everything in life and I tbh ought everything would get better but now I feel it has not

Or maybe I should rephrase it being ‘alone’ yk I might just be saying this bc of my situation like I sit alone at school no friends but yk I have kinda learnt to deal with it and I’m still bothered but it doesn’t make me that sad anymore. Ok so the main thing in jan I posted a video saying ‘I want a movie where they idolised being alone instead of always makimg it seem like a bad thing’ with the caption- where the characters ACTUALLY have no friends and are still happy and surprising it did get a lot of views and comments 😭 but it was controversial in the comments apparently? Like some people were saying ‘cause it is depressing ? 💀’ others were saying like ‘no it’s not. We don’t always need to be with people’ OK LIKE I GET WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE ‘humans need connection’ but just hear me out. Like believe me I HAVE tried making friends like I’ve gone up to a girl abd was like hey and whe low-key looked uncomfortable 😭 still regret doing it and just yesterday I tried again she was AWKWARD like hopefully u get what I’m saying like yes I’m sure that whole human connection thing makes sense but yk some people just don’t have good people in their lives. And BRO FONT GETME STARTED ON MY MOTHER. Like when I told her I have no one in school that I just sat alone she was like why don’t u try? like that’s not normal! We need people u need to change your mindset! But u see the thing is like bro I have kinda changed my mindset to not needing people bro if I badly wanted people till now my mental health will have become so bad🙏 like I kinda hope u understand my perseptive of wanting a movie like this? Like a character who has no friends and still is happy yk their entire life is based around others. I don’t wnat advice on making friends IVE TRIED I want to be truly happy alone

Lately, I've been feeling this gnawing sensation that my friends might actually dislike me, and it's a feeling I can't seem to shake off, even though it's probably unwarranted and all in my head, but hey, who's there to say for sure??

Sometimes, when we're all hanging out, I get the vibe that I'm the odd one out, you know?? Like, they'll be laughing at some inside joke I don't get, making me wonder if I'm just the extra, unnecessary part of the group that they tolerate out of pity or habit, and not genuinely out of fondness or camaraderie; do you ever feel this way too?? Do others perceive me merely as a tag-along or an afterthought, or is it just the typical paranoia feeding off my insecurities?? I mean, there's been times when plans were made without my knowing, and while I try not to make a big deal of it, because who wants to be that person who's always fishing for inclusion, right?? It still stings a little bit, and I can't help but wonder if perhaps they intentionally left me out because, deep down, they don't really want me around, like when they all went for brunch but somehow "forgot" to text me, which felt like a punch to my gut realizing the event happened from all their Instagram stories the next day; or am I just overthinking everything, which I tend to do on most days anyway, not even gonna lie!! Then, there's the conversations that start and end with them, as if the exchange does not require my contribution; is that a sign of their disregard or just a lapse in their social interaction capabilities?? Yet, simultaneously, I can't ignore the times they've shown they care, and perhaps it's just my mind playing tricks on me, blowing insignificant occurrences out of proportion, turning a molehill into a mountain of self-doubt and suspicion!!! Sometimes I wonder if I'm just projecting my own feelings of inadequacy or fear of abandonment onto them, which seems plausible, but it doesn't make the emotions any less valid or substantial to me!! Are my thoughts, in this endless loop of self-questioning and uncertainty, shared by others who have gone through this exact dilemma, always second-guessing their place in a friendship, or am I a rare case of unjustified anxiety surrounding social dynamics?? I find myself questioning the genuine nature of our friendships while judging myself for even letting these thoughts exist since everyone seems fine and like there's nothing out of the ordinary; how does one reconcile the two?? There's this never-ending battle within, imagining the worst while trying to stay rational and tell myself it's not personal, but you know how it is, very tiring how the mind sometimes wants to wander off on dark roads without a care; do I confront them about these fears, risking further detachment, or bottle it up, hoping it's just a phase that will pass eventually, like clouds on an otherwise sunny day???

Even in moments of lightheartedness, there's this undercurrent of unease, a nagging thought that maybe, just maybe, I'm not as valued in their lives as they might be in mine; are these connections truly reciprocal, or am I investing my emotional capacity into illusions of friendship?!? All I crave is some reassurance that I'm not the solitary one battling these feelings, that I'm not the only one tangled in this web of doubt and suspicion; I even asked myself once if maybe I'm the toxic one who assumes the worst intentions behind their actions, simply because I've developed this narrative in my head that needs questioning and debunking sooner rather than later, don't you think?!!! It's a constant push and pull, where emotions and rationality duke it out in my mind, leaving me emotionally drained and yearning for answers that might never come unless I dig deep and analyze the origins of these feelings without bias; but truthfully, who has the time or energy for that deep introspection regularly, though I probably should make time, I'm aware!!? It's just frustrating, you feel me??!! Wondering if it's all a figment of an overactive imagination or a hint of a larger underlying issue that needs addressing; is it possible for friendships to thrive despite these shadows of doubt, or is there any wisdom in voicing these concerns to them, opening a potential can of worms that could lead to clarity or calamity??? What is the best approach here, do you reckon?!? It's interesting realizing that perhaps nobody really knows the absolute answers to these dilemmas, and each one of us is just winging it, hoping that we eventually get it right; and maybe, just maybe, that's okay in itself!!! What are your thoughts on this whole unsettling experience; have you ever been in a similar boat, sailing through murky waters littered with uncertainty, and is there a guiding star that leads one out of this cycle of doubt???

My son’s father and I began dating in 2019. We were happy, no fights. I got pregnant and had our son in September of 2022. I broke up with him shortly after the birth because I didn’t want to raise two kids if I only gave birth to one. He’s a decent father, I can’t say that he doesn’t love our son and that he won’t do anything for him. My issue with him is his parenting style. He doesn’t really know what to do, and I can’t fault him for that because we’re both figuring things out as we go.

Our son lives with me full time. He has never had an overnight sleepover at his dad’s . I arrange all childcare while we work. I buy all of his clothes, food, diapers, arrange all play dates, doctors appointments, etc. I have the insurance, i paid for any and all cribs, pack n plays, car seats, etc. This isn’t to say that his dad isn’t supportive and won’t provide financially. I’m certain that if I asked, he would give (I just don’t ask). The problem is, he doesn’t think about any of this stuff. So why should I let him sleep over.

**Backstory** He lived with his parents when we were dating and just lived out last November. He never told me he moved. I found out because he posted something on social media and my brother privately texted me asking when he moved and I knew NOTHING about it. And I know there’s a new girlfriend in the mix that he’s probably living with because he accidentally called me her name when we were on a family ice cream date together. I’m not stupid, I can put two and two together.

Am I wrong for not allowing my two year old to not sleep over at his dad’s house when I don’t even know where he lives or who he’s living with?? (He did give me the address finally but I haven’t been over to check the place out).

I (19-year-old male) told my mother I was gay today.

To start with, I've know i was gay for years yet I've never told anyone, not a friend, not an acquaintance, and especially not a family member. The though of coming out was near paralyzing to me, i feared so much. I feared I'd be shunned, i fear they'd treat me differently, i fear they'd kick me out, I fear loosing the people I loved(my family).

However, recently I started watching a show, Heartstopper. It's quiet a warm pallet cleanser of a show, and yet It gave me the push of courage i needed. As such, I decided I wanted to tell my mother, the person I love and am closest to in my family.

I tried to temper my nerves the night before, I wrote motivation on my arm(I'm ready, I'm wonderful, & I'm strong), listened to music, prepared words to say, etc... and yet my nerves didn't loosened much(I could barely fall asleep). Even with these nerves, i managed to push myself through the anxiety and start the talk.

Now it wasn't smooth, it wasn't perfectly direct at first, but It was the best I could do. I literally started it with the question "Are you good at keeping secrets?", thankfully my mother seemed to sense that I wanted to say something. Eventually, after much internal struggle I managed to get to the hardest part, just saying "I'm gay".

She actually reacted with such kindness that I didn't expect. She didn't deny my feelings, she held my hand, she said "I love you". I'm honestly getting a bit teary just thinking of this. In my head, I had so many fears and doubt about how she might handle this, yet she took it so well.

She even said she "kinda suspected it", that she had a hunch from when i was 2 and i pointed at a hot guy on the cover of one of her romance novels and said "I like him" which is so silly. I don't ever think I felt so relieved as i did in this moment.

Now don't get me wrong, my body was still in fight, flight, or freeze, and so i kind of ran away soon after to process everything that just happened.

Overall, I just wanted to share this recent moment of my life that touched me deeply, and gives me hope within my many fears and doubts.