Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Growing up as mixed race (Black father and white mother), I've become somewhat accustomed to navigating predominantly white spaces in the UK. However, a recent visit to my mum and her partner Peter, who've been together for more than a decade, reminded me of the unique challenges I still face. They reside in a quaint Welsh village, distinctively monochromatic in its demographic, but usually, this is an environment I'm used to.

This visit, I decided to offer a hand with some gardening tasks, pulling weeds out front when Peter struck up a conversation with a neighbor, Robert, and brought me over to meet him. Within our initial exchange, after mentioning I was visiting from London for a week, Robert launched into a recount of his last trip to London. He described a minor collision with another person who he claimed then reacted aggressively. He concluded his story with, "and he was coloured," with an implicating tone suggesting danger, followed by fits of laughter from him and Peter.

The comment caught me off guard, and I excused myself, feigning more gardening work for a few moments before heading indoors. Shortly after, Peter came to my room to apologize, but his words, "Sorry about Robert, he just speaks his mind," only fueled my frustration. I confronted him about the lack of opposition to Robert's clearly racist comment. I ended up going for a long hike to cool down.

On returning, my mum tried smoothing things over, but it only escalated the tension. She suggested Robert was just an eccentric and advised I overlook his remarks. However, I stressed that my issue was more with Peter’s nonchalant reaction than Robert’s obvious prejudice. When she urged me to stand up for myself, I emphasized that as a person of color, it wasn't my place to educate or correct their biased acquaintances.

My mum accused me of overreacting; I countered, explaining she couldn’t possibly understand my position fully due to her different racial experiences. I've had to ignore casual racism in many areas of my life, but I drew the line at tolerating it in the so-called safety of my family home. Declaring my intentions to leave first thing in the morning, I started packing.

This decision inflamed the situation further. My mum lamented my impending absence from other family gatherings, labeling my decision as immature for not wanting to reach a compromise. I struggled to grasp how one could "agree to disagree" on matters of racism, let alone feel at ease knowing my immediate family might downplay my feelings toward it.

Reflecting on this situation within the context of a reality show, one wonders how the drama and intense emotional exchanges might play out before an audience. In those heightened realities, the dynamic could shift significantly, offering a platform for broader discussion or possibly escalating tensions further with viewers’ polarized reactions impacting the narrative.

Would love to know your thoughts—would my reaction have been seen differently if it was all televised?

I don’t know, but even I’m confused about what’s happening. I hope... I really hope my suspicion isn’t true...

That I have a third eye. I don’t want to tell my family because I’m afraid of what they’ll say or that they won’t believe me. Even I can’t believe it myself...

It happened when my family and I attended the funeral of my dad’s friend. His daughter had died by suicide. I remember it was nighttime, and everyone there was busy playing card games and talking. I was sitting alone, using my phone, when I glanced at the coffin. I saw the girl's hand hitting the glass part of the coffin. I didn’t know if I was just seeing things, but after a few seconds, it disappeared like nothing happened.

Sometimes, on my way home from school, I see one or two kids asking for money. They look normal. I was about to give them some coins, but I was shocked when the coin passed right through the child's hand. Right after that, a classmate who was also heading home asked me who I was talking to and who I was giving money to. I told them it was the kid begging for money, but when I turned back, the child was gone. My classmate was even surprised and said they never saw any kid come near me.

At 46 years old, I find myself in a pivotal phase of life, contemplating moving in with my partner of five years, a 57-year-old man. As my children from a previous marriage have recently moved out, the practicality of our living situations has become a topic of discussion.

My partner owns his home outright, while I'm still paying off a mortgage on mine. His house is larger, making it a sensible choice for us to move in together. The plan would involve me renting out my property, which should bring in about $600 each week.

However, when we discussed how to handle our finances together, he proposed that in addition to splitting all household bills and the cost of groceries, I should also give him 50% of the income I earn from renting out my home. While I understand and agree with sharing the bills, the idea of handing over half of my rental earnings didn't sit right with me, especially since he doesn't have a mortgage to worry about.

He explained his reasoning by stating that he wanted to prevent any feelings of being taken advantage of should our relationship end. His idea of fairness was a straight 50/50 split in all aspects, including income that I would generate independently from him.

To me, this arrangement feels disproportionally in his favor, almost like an 80/20 split. If I were to agree to his terms, I could be paying roughly $150 a week for rent in addition to covering half of all other living costs. Comparatively, I am only comfortable with contributing a maximum of $150 total per week for rent, bills, and groceries. Given that my income is around $75,000 annually, and his is about $85,000—half of which he earns from another rental property—it seems he is positioned to benefit far more from this arrangement than I am.

Imagining this scenario unfolding on a reality show, the audience might be split. Some viewers could sympathize with my hesitation and sense of unfairness, echoing that love shouldn't be so transactional. Others might side with my partner, advocating for his approach to protect his assets and maintain an equal footing in the relationship. No doubt, it would spark a heated debate among fans and critics alike, especially given the complexities of blending lives and assets in later life.

Am I unreasonable for resisting the idea of giving up half my rental income to him?

I feel like I'm in an environment where my ability to socialize with others is disregarded, and on top of that, my closest friends and family struggle due to the prejudices others foster as a result of such circumstances. People don't usually appreciate these analyses I conduct to explain what's happening, and psychotherapists have become part of the group.

I like this way of life, but I haven't received any support to fully consolidate it. Support is always a camouflage to force me to abandon it, in a blatant way. The whole effort is to make me achieve what I was helped to achieve, given that the problems I identified as such are no longer pointed out but now begin to view them in a pleasing light, which is what I feel the therapeutic work I've attended was all about.

I can't deny that I feel disappointed by society. My family struggled to contain me, and I always tried to adapt according to the circumstances, without predetermining and consolidating a certain personality in order to defend it. Outside, there were also these difficulties, to the point where others either abandoned me or established a distant and superficial relationship. The times they've tolerated me, it's because they had no other choice, and the times they've resorted to influencing me to adapt, it's because they haven't seen any other way either. All of this is always aimed at achieving stability within the environment for the group I belong to, rather than consolidating their personality within it through defensiveness. In itself, everything has consisted of complacency with the environment, as my family pointed out, which makes me feel like I'm among people who are incapable of reinforcing their identity as a group. This is something I find regrettable and terrifying, because we are always at the mercy of others, and their movements can occur at any moment, and consequently, any other. Therefore, in itself, it speaks to the lack of stability other than that provided by the environment itself, and that, again, speaks to a lack of tools for self-preservation.

I would like to be part of groups capable of reinforcing the presence of their personality in the environment, and not in those that are weakly structured and therefore provide a false sense of stability only provided by the environment. This makes me see the origin of those who go with the flow, and indeed, it seems that groups of this nature are the ones that populate the earth, at least within the country where I live.

Frankly, this type of spirit is not the example of someone who, I suspect, will sooner or later come back to me, so I feel it is necessary to seek out groups with such a capacity for reinforcement, and of course, that do not rely on popularity or a position of power, which are the elements on which some groups rely to maintain their way of being in the face of change. Indeed, it is necessary to make observations, at least in note format, to arrive at a systematic approach, but first, it begins with examining the material at hand.

I have this friend, Carly, who’s 23 and we've been tight ever since our freshman days back in high school. She’s been chasing her musical dreams in LA lately. Carly always had a knack for writing; she even got her degree from a reputable private liberal arts college in California, majoring in Creative Writing. Most of us who know her well were betting she’d go into songwriting. However, Carly decided to take on singing instead. She's already dropped three singles and has an album in the pipeline, but honestly, they're just not good. Her vocal timbre really doesn’t cut it—it’s rather flat and nasal, plus she has this odd way of modulating her pitch. Watching her perform live is even more of a struggle. The crowd of friends she's made in LA keep cheering her on, telling her she’s phenomenal. I’m just worried about how far their praises will carry her before someone in the business pulls the plug and tells her straight up, “you can’t sing.”

What worries me more is thinking what if she ever ended up on one of those reality singing shows? Like, imagine her getting up there with that same supportive crowd, only to face the harsh critiques from seasoned judges in front of a national audience. Could you just imagine the humiliation? It’s hard enough seeing her wade through local gigs, but that level of exposure and raw feedback could really break her.

How does one deal with this? Is it kinder to let her keep dreaming while everyone around nods and smiles, or would a true friend intervene before the reality becomes too painful? Waiting it out seems like watching a ticking time bomb. Is sitting back really the answer?

i've been feeling all sorts of confused lately. like, I don't know who I am anymore? it's like my identity is all jumbled up, and I can't sort it out. at 24, you'd think I'd have a clearer picture of myself, you know? but nope, here I am, second-guessing every little thing about myself. it's funny, isn't it? we spend all this time growing up and then realize we still have no clue what we're doing. just trying to navigate life with some semblance of purpose 😂;

i guess part of it is the pressure of trying to fit into the mold of what a 24-year-old "should" be. I've got friends who seem to have it all figured out. they know what career they want, where they want to live, and even who they want to spend their life with. and here i am, just... floating? it's like treading water, trying to find something to hold onto. it's not that i'm unhappy or anything. but sometimes, it feels like i'm just playing pretend in this 'grown-up' world. who else has this never-ending identity crisis?!

the weirdest part is how it flips so quickly. one minute, i'm all sorted and confident. the next, i'm questioning everything from my job to my weird taste in music. am i the only one who feels like their personality just never settles? it's like, i'm always trying to catch up with myself. maybe it's just part of the journey, finding bits and pieces until everything finally falls into place. maybe the whole point is in the mix of it all. do you ever feel like life is just a series of random self-discoveries?

anyway, i'm beginning to realize it's okay to change, to not have everything figured out. nobody's got it all together, even if it seems like they do. maybe part of me knowing who i am is accepting the uncertainty and rolling with it. even when it feels like chaos, there's a kind of peace in embracing that chaos, if that makes any sense. i'm just gonna keep going, exploring the parts of myself that make me, well... me. after all, life's too short to worry too much, right?! who knows where this rocky road of self-discovery will lead, but I gotta admit, there's something exciting about not knowing.

I witnessed one of the biggest organizational disasters I've ever seen, and I think it even breaks records in terms of the actions taken. Managers acting independently, gossip spreading like wildfire in the face of the unusual disregard for the rules, and a general sense of fear surrounding the need for a measured and firm defense. Everyone was astonished by something that was commonplace and under company management, something everyone should be aware of. But I fear that in that office, the job titles are nothing more than rhetoric to enhance the title, not the actual work, and therefore, not the company itself. It's completely, for God's sake, neglected. They don't operate based on company results, but on company processes. They demand evaluation for what the company does to produce results, but not for the work done to achieve those results. Simply put, that company is parasitic on society because it operates from the worst possible perspective: internal interests dictate how the company's objectives are achieved, not the objectives themselves. This is something that anyone with business management training would definitely avoid, to the point that it operates with the notion of creating a "family," when the first thing any cultural management professional should be asking for is prevention. It's a naive task, typical of someone who clearly doesn't know what they're doing when faced with the immense responsibility of managing a company or coordinating a project. It's astonishing how the language is contrived based on experience, not methodically developed through study, to the point that anyone can make a mockery of the system, even knowing the appropriate mechanisms and legal framework. I even saw managers begging for approval, for group integration at all costs based on image, making work seem secondary, making any mistake or failure a matter of disregarding the company's best practices.

Not even the authorities themselves trust the company or its operations; instead, they coexist at the expense of establishing turf and using terrible communication. It's utterly deplorable. I can't go anywhere else because this is the general situation in all companies in my country. I've had to learn from this experience to learn how to survive on the ground, systematically, using my knowledge of business management, if indeed it truly applies to that area. Things have gotten to the point where, along with a colleague, I've had to set up a parallel administration within the company. This is so that each of us can operate according to the company's best interests, ensuring that the company's previously coercive channels no longer operate as such. This is due to fear of accusations stemming from our close relationship, which we've managed to keep under wraps, maintaining a friendly connection, and thus provoking questions. This colleague and I have needed this for some time. To be clear, neither of us has any interest in the other's personal life whatsoever; we're only interested in facilitating our own way of life within the company. The paths we wanted, based on our personalities and the image we projected, were completely segregated, forcing us to act discreetly and restrictively, which in turn caused us problems.

However, I think I'm being a bit harsh with us. The fact is, there are feelings between us; we like each other, we want to be in each other's lives. But right now, the company is the top priority. Our safety is precisely what makes us feel we can do something together. It creates the illusion that something is happening, even though the necessary elements aren't there. This is why our individual autonomy is more pronounced, because others don't know what to expect. We're not interested in others understanding us; we're only interested in feeling that we're reserving our space and that others can't access it. They consider this barbaric because, for them, what matters is that everyone in the company maintains some kind of involvement to keep things running smoothly. With us together, that's not possible, and we're always at the mercy of something happening, and at the same time, doing something could lead to just that.

This parallel government was essential. I have surrendered my work group to the negative comments of others, for the sake of absolute fairness, given that their life revolved around making decisions behind the scenes, passing off their results as their own, disregarding processes, and turning their intrusion into an accusation of invasion. That has ended.

These thugs tried to involve me in their way of doing things, believing that through their intimidation I would give in by remaining silent, but the inconsistency of my reactions backfired. Of course, typical of those deluded by power, unable to see the potential for future conflicts, a reaction they knew, because they assumed they knew everything and then some. Getting rid of them wasn't easy, but I can't say they were a thorn in my side either, since they had already played me once and their world came crashing down on them. That group's connections within the company had been weakening for some time, and what happened with this young woman was the final straw. They knew their grip on power was shaky; in fact, when I had a conflict, they tried to take sides, to play the hero and salvage some of their image, but I didn't cooperate with that either. It was easy to be a collaborator by being completely unyielding, making them believe there was something between us when there wasn't, even though the things I did for my own future weren't false. Everything came crashing down on them, and my colleague and I stood up to them, to the point that we, like everyone else, have them under close scrutiny. To the point that anything out of line now has to be discussed when I'm not around: they have someone who could betray them with a denunciation. This used to only happen with the departments they were in charge of, which were outside their office; now they have it right next door. The disorganization is radical; it's a matter of surviving however they can, because they see no way forward after the upcoming change in leadership.

The situation of that group is deplorable, and the company's situation is even more so from a management perspective, for no other reason than that it's a strategic, war-like situation. Ironically, this whole conflict with the girl was nothing more than a tacit series of instructions, where she did what I said. She was always under scrutiny, while I, the mastermind, remained untouched. Of course, the game was played out through actions that led to other actions, all of which were predetermined. My colleagues had their eyes on her, but behind the scenes, I was orchestrating that trust step by step, yielding to principles that seemed genuine to them but never truly existed, such as agreeing with the psychiatric services. This was never the case; they only assumed it because of my defense of authority, as required by law. Everything came to a head when the girl staged a fake health emergency, which I was able to exploit to accuse my colleagues of complete disregard for the company's needs, even though it was true that they did practice such practices. In short, this group ended up looking like they were operating independently, secretly, and completely ignored by the company, all thanks to a message in a WhatsApp group.

It's been quite a strategy to survive in an environment where, under ideal conditions, such things should never have been allowed. What she and I had should have been kept private from the start, but nobody would have said a word.

I was supposed to graduate law school and take the bar this year but I failed my first and only subject with this terror professor. I was the only one who failed their class and I felt that it was a bit unfair. While they're a terror professor, they are admired by a lot of people in that subject field in law and they were called the gatekeeper (meaning they would really fail you if they think you are not ready for the bar).

Why do I feel it was unfair? Well, my batchmates who graduated and took the bar had two failing subjects (not the same subject as the one I failed) but they were allowed to have to take an exam to pass it. This professor didn't want to talk to me and deferred me to the Dean, and again, with their reputation as the all-knowing person in that subject, they didn't give me a chance. It was a really hard year for me as I was already preparing for the bar and I had to hide the truth for quite some time with my family as, again, this is my first ever failure. It didn't really help that a certain student also had similar grades with me but I was the one that had to get cut-off. I couldn't really continue to vent to my boyfriend (who is also a student and passed his subject - apparently he is this prof's favorite) and we had an argument about how I am not really blaming him for failing the subject but it kinda feels like it is because I am just so frustrated with myself.

I already retook the subject (with a different professor because they weren't available to teach it) and passed but now, they are saying that this terror prof might be my professory again next semester. We don't have any other sections as our law school is cutthroat so there really isn't a choice for me to do anything but take the subject. But I don't know how to cope. This person literally crushed my dream as there was no effort for them to give me a chance and I couldn't really move on as I only had a week before the start of the second semester and during summer, I had to help my friends who were taking the bar. It hurt, I felt deeply hurt. I don't know what to do.

Dear me

I Remember when you were 11 excited and nervous to go to college A on your first day. Excited to make new friends, meet new people and teachers, yet nervous as you wondered about how hard it would be as it is a big step up from year 6 but u kept telling yourself don’t worry you will be fine or so u thought.

You were 12 now in year 8 thinking it would stay the same…well boy were you wrong,

everything Changed the friend group broke apart, lonely lunch’s sitting by myself, rumours spiralling, friends distancing themselves,people staring as you pass them through the hallways and fake friends asking what’s your sexuality trying to find out if the rumors were true and then there was you feeling hurt,betrayed and crap about myself. you wondered if things would change? Or if it would effect you more than it already had.

now you were 13 in year 9 dreading to walk through those gates again knowing that you were the most hated student in your year, the rumors still spiralling except now i liked my best friend the thought of me liking her in that way is weird and unsettling,

Classmates always asking are you if you And your best friend secretly dating you would always respond with no even if i was dating her I wouldn’t tell u as its none of your business. You was really badly affected by this that a lot of the time you faked sick as you really dreaded and hated coming to school and even if you did come to school u could feel the eyes constantly staring at you making you squirm in your seat as if u really really had to pee it was really uncomfortable and you feel numb and depressed inside but on the outside you had a happy and smiley forcade. Every night you wished and dreamt that things would get better.

Year ten rolls around and you get good news you’re in a class with my second cousin and you think finally i get someone to sit with during class but it turns out you sit by yourself again and you feel alone and isolated again for the third year in a row. You take French drama and business studies as your extra subjects, in French you sit alone nobody talks to you unless they have to, when you have to get in to buddies or groups you always find yourself alone the only one without a partner or a group and you think to yourself they hate me am i a bad person? Do i not deserve acknowledgment? Your French teacher always sees you alone and makes me join another group beside you or join Evie (fake name) who has some syndrome and is hard to understand when she speaks as her words slur together and she is as quiet as a mouse, and it was just horrible i had no friends in that class nobody to talk too and nobody to acknowledge me. Drama was ok you liked your teacher there were some popular people in your class but they avoided you and you avoided them. But when you came to assessments you were always the last one to get chosen its like dodgeball in those high school movies where you are the last on that hasn’t been chosen and balls get pelted at you I remember when u had nobody for your Shakespeare performance and the only people available were my internationale friends i joined up with one of them but she was leaving back to japan a week befor the assessment so at the last minute me and the other exchange student had to learn a script off by heart but we also had to do blocking for it a day before the assessment but you were used to it at that point. A few months later you and your mum had a fight about something stupid and you felt crap about yourself again and this time you followed your instincts and did something bad when your mum saw she freaked out and u bursted out crying you cried so much it was like your tears flooded the room as you tell your mum about your school life At A. what feels like the worst part of your life then turns to the best part of your life as u go from rock bottom too the highest of highes as your mum said that you can move schools to B. again like at your first day at A you are nervous and excited.

now 15 and in year 11 you are very luckily and grateful as you find your place there and make new friends, you even met a old very good friend from primary school there and you cry in her arms as you haven’t seen your best friend in 3 years and you made really good friends there and you are much happier at B than A although you still struggle mentally you are a lot better.

My 15-year-old daughter struggles with social anxiety and she's been seeing a therapist, but hasn't needed any medication yet. In our family, we have this rule that if you crave fast food while we're out, you've got to pay for it from your own pocket. And if you don't have the cash for it, we're not stopping. Plus, I never let anyone eat in my car, so if we do decide to get something, we make sure to eat there.

Just the other day, we had to run some errands together. Before leaving, I suggested she eat something at home as she tends to get hungry, but she insisted she wasn't hungry. Halfway through our errands, however, she suddenly wanted to grab a bite at Wendy's. So I agreed and drove there. I told her to go ahead and place her order while I grabbed us a table.

A few minutes later, she returned to the table without having ordered anything. She told me she felt too anxious to talk to the cashier. Despite knowing her anxiety issue, I reminded her that she needs to manage such situations and encouraged her to try ordering again. She requested that I order for her, but I refused, believing she needed to face this challenge. We ended up sitting there for about 10 more minutes before I finally said we needed to leave.

Obviously, she was upset, and later, so was my wife. They felt I was being insensitive by not helping her order and letting her go hungry, though we were only out for a few hours.

In the context of a reality show, imagine how intensified such a domestic drama could become. The cameras rolling as my daughter struggles visibly with her anxiety at the counter, cutting back to me, steadfast at our table, prompting heated reactions from onlookers both on and off-screen. Viewers would likely be divided; some might applaud the tough love approach, believing it builds character, while others could criticize it as unsympathetic to her mental health struggles. The tension would be palpable, possibly drawing a massive audience engagement through social media debates and commentary.

This brings us to wonder, navigating parenting challenges with a mindset of fostering independence versus giving direct support in a child's moment of need - where do we draw the-line?

My dad’s 66th birthdayy is tomorrow and my siblings and I (4 total) were planning to go out to dinner with him tonight to celebrate. Growing up, we never went out to restaurant or even got take out. Once we hit our teens we didn’t even eat at the dinner table together or at the same time. Now we’re all grown, with me being the youngest (30) and we’re trying to do things together that we never did such as a family dinner.

My dad is notorious for catching an attitude leading up to a holiday or occasion. I’m talking birthdays, Christmas, ground hogs day, the last day to do taxes. If it’s in a calendar, he automatically catches a mood at least two days prior to the day and holds it.

Somehow I was placed in charge of arranging this dinner and I was told to invite my oldest brother (my mother’s first born) and his wife to the dinner. This was done prior to the attitude. Yesterday, I get the message from my sister that he’s In a mood and going on a mumbling rant about whatever and I would most likely want to cancel dinner. I didn’t, I held out to figure out what was going on.

Now here we are todayy, there’s animosity in the air, he locked up in a room all day not speaking to anyone. So I have to text my oldest brother that we’re cancelling. — But seriously. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to tell my brother that we can’t have dinner because my dad doesn’t know how to act. Should we have gone without him??

So, here I am: just started this new role as a youth group leader, and I'm feeling quite perplexed. Tomorrow is my first meeting with these teens who've been associating with one another across various events for years now. The anticipation of setting foot in there is rather daunting!!! I've got this task at hand to engage them meaningfully... yet they're seemingly disinterested in everything I present? How does one break ice that has been forming over years??? It's quite the conundrum.

Despite the apprehension swelling within me like a storm cloud, there's this odd glimmer of excitement! 🌟 It'd be an opportunity to catalyze change, inspire conversations... bring fresh air to their interactions? Exciting indeed!!! But then again: what if I'm unable to make any impact? This juxtaposition of feelings refuses to relent.

I understand employing varied engagement methodologies could foster a dynamic discourse among them; icebreakers might be essential tools here (isn't it always?)... Just thinking aloud really. Challenges lie ahead but hey, wouldn't life be insipid without any hurdles? I'll brace myself for tomorrow with an open mind and fervent spirit!;

I feel like I don't like this. I feel like I'm being dragged along by doctors, precisely for the purpose of getting them to lead me in my health care, which my father hasn't been able to do for reasons even he doesn't know. I'm very confused. My mother's power is being taken away.

In a way, I'm handing my life over to these doctors out of desperation. My parents, having failed to look after her, are instilling in me a deep distrust. In fact, I feel fear toward my family members. I don't know if my father, who is also a doctor, has hidden incidents regarding his profession with us, the family members. I feel like this family is capable of hiding anything to maintain the union, just as they do with my father. I hate that I can't express this with complete confidence elsewhere; my fear of censure is always there.

In fact, the last few times I saw him, my father was confusing treating me professionally with his desire to dominate me. In fact, I'm saying that he was more interested in possession than treating me as a doctor. He denied things. Indeed, my father had gone crazy. However, I feel these doctors are on the same path, that of being possessive rather than professional. In fact, I'm verifying it.

I'm currently in a state of urgency with these doctors to get them to stop being professional, to go further with me, to the point of treating me like a mother and a father. I don't know whether to obey the doctors because doing so would be betraying my father, and obeying my father would be betraying them. I find myself at a terrible crossroads. I wish things were simpler.

Why did my father throw me in with this group of doctors? The price is that there are many people out there seeking domination, by any means, and these doctors turned out to be one of them. In this sense, he exposed me to this happening. It was as if he was no longer interested in having me under his care, but instead exposed me to someone else, vowing to preserve me no matter what. During treatment, my father was so nervous, so indecisive, so sentimental that he didn't give me the chance to trust him with my life.

I feel that perhaps these doctors may be different, but the fact that they are taking positions in my life, regarding my health, is a very serious issue for me. This is playing with my health arbitrarily, just like he did with my father. There's no difference. They also don't take into account whether I want it or not. They exploit my desperation just the same. I keep insisting: I'm surprised by how many people are out there with a desire for power. Besides, it's even worse with the doctors because I can't repeat the attitudes I had, and I don't know what they're capable of, knowing their influence.

I don't know how my father could have exposed me to such beings. What a rootless behavior. It's as if he doesn't want to be with me; he's exposing me to someone taking me away just like that, and I don't like it. I wanted to stay with him, but at the same time, I feel like he made no effort to stay with me. He left me exposed to these kinds of people. Besides, how could he not be more attentive, or more attentive this time than with his friends? We're with people from the street, strangers; it was only natural that he would be attentive with these doctors. Why did he neglect me like this? I feel abandoned in my usual way, free from anything happening to me, without visualizing methods, ways of dealing with me, or anything like that. In other words, he also allowed my desire to leave his life to be satisfied.

I feel like this time my father didn't fight for me at all. In fact, he didn't even take an interest in how the doctors handled things with me. He wasn't able to go into details; he simply assumed things were done well without raising any questions. I feel like this means my father hasn't stopped loving me because he's supposed to take care of that, the medical side of things. Also, assuming things about the doctors when I told him not to interfere, I mean, my dad did everything possible to make this situation happen, to make these doctors take control of my life, even though I allowed it. He did everything possible, everything that bothered me and he knew it, to make me leave. It's as if nothing in our history had indicated anything to him, as if he had no capacity for reflection regarding the way I acted. It's as if he didn't want me with him.

It's like, ever since the treatment, I feel like he doesn't want me with him anymore, as if he wants to kick me out of being with him, and he doesn't realize it. My sister had the same feeling. It's gotten to the point where I don't recognize it. Yesterday she told me about a subject I liked, and he still hasn't sent me any materials. I feel completely abandoned by my father. In fact, I feel like he could have dealt with the treatment completely, calmly, without any problem, but he just put it aside. It's already happened I've done this several times. I notice that he's just thinking, and it's something that doesn't just happen with me. When something bothers him in his routine, he simply tries to get it out of his system, no matter who it is. Indeed, he's an extremely indolent person. Why does my father have to be like this?

I feel like my father, for a long time now, hasn't known what to do with his life. He's left it behind and simply prefers to focus on his job, which is where he does things well because all he does otherwise, given his lack of empathy, is destroy things. My father tries to get back on track, but it's always useless; he always achieves the opposite. I feel like he's never going to leave that comfort zone in any way; in fact, he never did since he became a father. None of us, let's be clear, care about his feelings, let alone support him in anything. He's carrying a very heavy burden, although that's also because he doesn't want anyone to interfere. Indeed, my dad will never get out of that, and hoping for change is unnecessarily giving me hope.

This same reasoning applies to my mother. That is to say, she will never leave, like my father, her job, her family, the prison walls. She's only interested, and since I was a child, it's always been that way: calm. This is the ultimate goal for both of us, and nothing more than that goal, using the tools that belong only to them and nothing more than theirs. Indeed, I recognize that I do this; however, I deny that it's my reality, given that when I leave my comfort zone, I seek an effective way out so that I can be supported by my routine. Unfortunately, this isn't the case with my sister, given that it's exactly the same with my parents, with the only difference being that she seeks to be Machiavellian, while I don't. My path through life is through good deeds without expecting anything in return, which in turn opens doors for me, although that's not why I do it. This is why my parents attacked me as a child, and I felt my sister was loyal to me in times of conflict. However, their preference for success was me, not my sister, since she was rejected because she was their faithful reflection.

I somehow feel that this was latent since I was a child, of chasing doctors, of going to another caregiver. It was always latent because I didn't have the tools for life, and now it's not much different. I don't have a life made up of friends; I am absolutely dependent on others, practically on others, since nothing is mine, except for some transportation issues, note-taking supplies, and electronic equipment, and I buy junk food since my father provides me with food. In fact, I feel at home, with the only difference being that I am alone and face life's challenges. However, this was already the case since I was a child, and I am also very careful not to get into trouble.

I am a 34-year-old guy who tied the knot with the most amazing woman, who's 33, just four months ago. We’ve been a couple for over eight years, and it feels like we’ve known each other forever. My wife, Emily, is not only compassionate and caring, but she’s also highly driven in her profession. Given my long work hours, she handles a lot of our domestic responsibilities.

Financially speaking, I earn significantly more than Emily, about four times as much, actually, since I work in Healthcare. Despite this gap, she still earns a decent amount. Naturally, I find myself covering most of our expenses like dining out, weekend getaways, and shopping adventures. I don’t mind this at all. For bigger purchases, we share costs proportionally based on our incomes, and she manages to contribute around one-fourth towards our rent and groceries, even occasionally covering the cost of our outings.

Emily is incredibly close with her four best friends, and they chat every day. It's great seeing her supported by such a tight-knit group. They even have a shared savings account designated for “joint investments,” which they've been funding monthly for several years. Initially, I wasn’t thrilled about it, but it was her decision and her money after all.

Now, we’re hunting for a house in one of America’s priciest real estate markets. Emily mentioned she doesn’t have much saved up independently but has around $20,000 in the joint account with her friends. Previously, financial advisors have discouraged them from group investments in stocks, real estate, or business due to complications and tax implications.

Considering the substantial down payment required for a house, roughly $60,000-$70,000, I’m prepared to use nearly all my savings ($50,000). I suggested Emily should withdraw her portion from the collective fund to contribute. She was upset by the idea, insisting the money was promised to her friends for their group plans. She even proposed looking for cheaper homes, perhaps fixer-uppers, arguing I could easily save up again due to my higher income.

This left me quite frustrated. I felt it was unfair for me to deplete my savings while her money sat untouched in what, in frustration, I called a “stupid friend fund.” Is it unreasonable for me to expect her to use that money towards our home?

Imagine this scenario in a reality show setting—it would likely ignite significant controversy and perhaps create a divide among viewers, some siding with the need for personal obligations and others with the practicality of securing a family home over group investments.

Hey everyone, it's my first time here (or any of these kinds of app/website for that matter, so sorry if I'm breaking any formatting or rules) and I just want to share my story anonymously with strangers as I don't want to share anything with any of my friend group as I don't want them to think bad of my ex-fiancée.

I'm in my early 30s and my ex-fiancée a couple years younger, and we met about 6 years ago. It was on a night out in the city that a mutual acquaintance introduced us. We instantly clicked and started dating a few weeks after. Since a majority of our values and goals in life aligned with one another's back then, we were so happy and though we finally found each other's "the one".

Of course a relationship isn't all ups, occasionally we would have a fight regarding what is expected of the other party since we are both working professionals and felt like we were not prioritizing our partnership enough. They are nothing we can't resolve though, we always talked it out coming up with a compromise. Although now it feels like this was a mistake since compromises aren't enough and we are not getting our needs and wants fulfilled with it. Regardless of this, am I wrong in assuming that with these setbacks, with love we were still supposed to choose each other right?

Over the years we have built plans for the future and have actively been working on them, getting engaged just early this year. We were also just about to purchase a house, but yeah my company suddenly had a round of mass layoffs and I was impacted. It's pretty hard to get a job at this time of the year in tech, with the sparse amount of openings and fierce competition. I felt like this was one of the lowest periods of my life so I sort of withdrew from everything. I even shut off my ex-fiancée as I didn't want to bother her with personal issues that she couldn't do anything about.

I guess this was her tipping point, I didn't see that her wanting to go to places which are expensive for my taste or even go on a full week vacation was her way to bid for connection, get me on my feet, telling me that it's okay to delay our plans for a bit, and fulfill her needs in one goal. I saw it as she just being financially irresponsible and unintentionally setting back our years of hard work, so I always flat out rejected her invites, intending to only use our savings for necessities and not for leisure just so we would still have enough when going to buy properties again.

She cheated on me with someone she met on the vacation she went to alone. I was devastated, it made me realize how much I was lacking. How much I didn't fulfill what she actually wants. I knew this because she was the one who confessed it to me as she cannot handle her guilt/conscience. I immediately forgave her but yeah we both can't see being with each other anymore because of this.

It feels weird that I'm not feeling any anger, just sadness. Just emptiness. We officially broke up, and now I don't know what to do anymore moving forward since I dedicated a large portion of my recent years working towards a future that never will be. I might heal, but I feel that I can never love or trust anyone again. I hate this.