Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Here I Go Again haha. I told you how I fell in love with a man much older than me who showed me high expectations. He was attentive, loving, kind, everything a woman wants.

As time went on, he got what he wanted, which was to win me over, and he began to show disinterest in me.

During the process, I saw many red flags, and in that outburst, I recounted how bad it felt when he didn't talk to me. I couldn't leave him because every time I tried, it was a sadness that killed me inside, and I wasn't able to stay in bed for days, feeling very bad.

Obviously, I wasn't going to die, but it's something you don't know how to handle. Sadness, no matter how much you try to deceive yourself, exists in the chest, in the head. Even those who've been through it know that it's also felt in the heart.

I didn't know what to do to end it because the relationship continued, but I was having a hard time. I decided to talk about it, and he told me in simple, blunt words that he didn't have any feelings for me and that he just wanted to have a good time. I understood everything perfectly. What I'm thinking is that there will be a door of feelings, showing affection and love, knowing that they will leave the person later.

It doesn't matter, maybe I idealized too much. I was confused, but what all this leads me to are some questions:

Why does it hurt so much? Life goes on.

Why so much dependence on someone who doesn't show interest?

I saw my mother die with my own eyes, and this hurts me more?

I came to the conclusion that my father abandoned me when I was young. My mother, even though I was with her until the last moment, left me at a train station and left me for 14 years. My grandmother kicked me out when I asked for shelter because I was homeless!

I became a mother for the first time, and my father left me alone during the entire pregnancy and childbirth.

I wanted to start a family, but he went with another family.

My pain is the abandonment I've always suffered and I can't get over it because I met this person who gave me all the affection I never received, and I didn't want to lose her.

Obviously, throughout my horrible life, I had addiction problems, and because of this, I've gone back to using drugs almost every day. Simply put, I want to die because I fell back into a job I had, and now it's worse. If I don't have drugs, I go crazy, my body shakes, and I become violent.

The End

P.S.: Never abandon anyone. Be clear, show love, but clearly. And if you're a man, don't abandon your children. Damn you.

I have been battling depression, anxiety and undergoing treatment for almost nine months. Initially, I resisted medication but now I take it mechanically..with little difference except for the discomfort when switching medications.

My condition fluctuates. A while ago i tried to change mindset pushing myself to live well work hard so my family could have a better life but there is no improved at all…

Since the first day i entered the workforce i have faced suppression and lack of recognition even in my personal relationships….life has never shown my mercy.

Honestly, im exhausted..there has been countless times when i just wanted to end everything it feels like nothing truly want has ever been within my reach. No matter how hard i try or how positive i remain fate and live seems to always work against me.

While other’s lives keep getting better mines only go from bad to worse. My family struggles to afford food and as their child I feels myself useless to help them.

The guy I like—his r dislikes me because my family is poor..he even assumes that I like his son just because he is the boss’s son….

I’m already 32 years old, life likes completely messed.

How am I supposed to keep going?….i feel tired for all of this..

hey everyone, i'm feeling all kinds of confused right now and i just want to let it all out 😅 so here goes... i'm 27 and have been dating this amazing guy for about 3 months, everything's been going pretty good, he's really nice and we get along super well. but then we decided to spice things up a bit and had a threesome with my best friend, who happens to be a girl. and now i find myself questioning everything about myself. like, am i actually bisexual? is this just a phase or perhaps something more? 😕 i keep wondering if these feelings are genuine or if they're just intensified because of the newness of the relationship and the experience itself. it's been a real mind trip, honestly.

so i’ve been replaying the whole scenario in my head, like every single detail, trying to figure out what i really felt and why. i realized that during the whole thing, i was just as into her as i was into him, and it was a strange realization to have. it didn't freak me out or anything (thank goodness), but now i'm left unsure about my feelings and it's a bit overwhelming. i mean, i’ve never had any kind of romantic or sexual attraction to women before this, or at least i thought i didn't 😕 but maybe it just took the right circumstances for me to feel this way; like maybe being with someone i trust, my best friend, gave me the freedom to explore these feelings without fear or judgment. idk, i kind of feel guilty about it all too, like i'm betraying my boyfriend or something, even though he's been totally cool with it. the question really is, what does this mean for me? am i just discovering something new about myself or is it a temporary thing? 🤔

i guess the cool thing is, i’m not freaking out about it or anything, more like curious and hopeful about the future. like, maybe it's something that could add an exciting new layer to my life and relationships? who knows! and my best friend and i have been super open with each other about everything, which has helped a lot. we’ve had so many deep convos since, and she's been really understanding and supportive 💕 the whole thing's actually brought us closer, so at least there’s that silver lining. but this leads to another question in my mind, like how will this affect my current relationship with my bf? i mean, i just don’t want to complicate things or hurt anyone involved. maybe it's all up in my head and i'm making it a bigger deal than it is, who knows. anyway, i’m just aiming to sort through these feelings and see where they lead me, no rush, just taking things one day at a time. if anyone's been through something similar, i’d definitely love to hear from you! 🤗 thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

I feel right now that nothing about outside people holds any meaning for me, only my actions have meaning. I feel that what my father does no longer matters, nor the doctors who treated me, nor anything like that. I only seek to act meaningfully in accordance with my actions, not what others give them. I don't even care if they're in sync or not, beyond the agreements we make.

I feel like right now I don't care about anything or anyone, given that everyone's life is everyone's own life, and I can't do more than that. I'm not even interested in getting to know them in depth, at least those around me, since that's an activity they haven't delved into. I feel like I'm with people who have a vague interest in exploring themselves. Recently, my father was strangely reminiscing about one of my books, one of the things I like to read, saying he was going to give me this or that, spontaneously. I've always had the feeling that he was trying to keep me from reading those things.

For some time now, and I think this is why I'm like this, I feel like my father has wanted to attack my psychoanalytic readings. He's like my mother. This family doesn't want anything to be revealed under any circumstances. To the point that they resort to desperate measures. I hope that if I tell this to the psychiatrist, she'll at least let me finish the conversation instead of focusing on what is this and what is that, in depth; I can now understand a girl I knew who just wanted their conversations to flow; people interrupted her a lot. My family isn't interested in being discovered, neither on my father's side nor on my mother's side, under any circumstances. They want everything buried, and that seems irresponsible to me. To go so far as to attack Sigmund Freud? To attack Lacan as well? I think it's already reaching unhealthy extremes.

In fact, I feel that my father, being a doctor, is no longer seeing the limits of reality. Yesterday, she thanked me for reading her messages. She's reaching extreme levels of discernment, something I don't like; in fact, it horrifies me. My family is focused on re-educating me at all costs, on burden after burden after burden. They've become a group of people who are out of their depth. They simply think about our union without any measure. I see them as distrustful people; in fact, I've gone so far as to describe them as not acting normally. Their desire to be in control is excessive, as if something were about to break them permanently. And I understand because it was clear, and even I saw it that way, that I was going to stay with them permanently, serving them, and that didn't turn out to be the case.

I've been observing for some time now that I'm breaking their patterns of reality. That is, they no longer see me as how they used to see me, and they don't see that, and that's why they're always giving in, giving in, without realizing it, exhausted and without any reasoning. They're not well. It seems my behavior has gotten out of their hands, especially my father's. Since my change, the family isn't functioning as normally as usual, to the point where even family members are betraying each other. It's as if they can't process the weaknesses within their structure that I've been able to see. I insist, they haven't been well in their heads for a long time. In fact, they're not reasoning to the point where they judge how I speak, with the tone being what bothers them. In short, I've shattered the family structure, and they've made their lives hell, as if they no longer had a basis for life, simply giving rise to these behaviors.

All of them, I'm observing, now feel like they're without a family because there's no solid structure. It's always been this way, but now they're showing it. In fact, the simple fact that I've changed, from being the easiest to seduce to now the impossible, has completely changed their lifestyles. None of their manipulative strategies are working. It's as if they now feel the world has the opportunity to eat away at them, and they're taking advantage of it. They feel beyond their power and facing the worst of things: others supporting me because, of course, the outside now has power over them thanks to me, just as it always wanted, given that they always trampled on their surroundings.

I feel like everything has turned upside down for my family. They never thought I would rebel and succeed. I fell many times, and from those times they swore I wouldn't succeed, but they didn't count the constant attempts, and also that I wasn't looking for something immediate but gradual and this time effective, something not present in the other cases. None of their conditioning, nor can I believe it, has any effect on me now. They feel, I experience, that they have lost a family member even though they have them right in front of them, and they can't tolerate the feeling, and that their presence contradicts my own; that combination is too harsh for them, somewhat for which I wasn't prepared, and which is the cause of their instability.

Furthermore, the following happens: How could I emerge triumphant from the treatment as usual if there was no support whatsoever from others in terms of the groundwork for maintenance, for stability? In theory, for them, everything should have been in favor, finally, of producing the extreme fatigue necessary for suggestion, but it's not possible. This is something that simply doesn't add up for them; it's as if they also feel that something in them was born different from them, that they developed differently, as if they weren't a member of the family, having been the fruit of a procreation in which their blood participated. Everything is out of whack for them, which is gratifying because it implies that their tools of family inclusion, which worked for me, no longer work for others, and consequently their dominance, even if sporadic, is weak and of no inspiration to the members trapped there. The family is therefore dismantled on my part, and it's the way for others to dismantle it. It's as if their own actions of uniting the family actually lead to the opposite, to the same thing they said, even as a child, would happen with the acts of suggestion they performed, swearing that things were different on the outside, but that turned out not to be the case.

Ok, first off the religious group I will not mention by name as it is not the point of this post. However, I will say I do believe they are a cult because they recruit people, force them to give the "council" all the money they make, and by around 60 when they are old they throw them out of their housing facilities that they own. They cut people's connections with all family and friends no exceptions. If you can't make money they don't want you. They are not small I'll tell you that much. We were learning about different groups in American history. We were in about 6 small groups all discussing about the groups. When I saw the one about the "religion" that's when I said to my group they were like a cult. This group is still a thing today.

Anyway, in english class my group was discussing about the group and I said, "oh they're like a cult" then the teacher chimed in.

T: "That's a strong word"

Me: "Well that's basically what they are"

T: "how"

Me: "Well they make these cartoons that..."

T: "Well many people make cartoons that doesn't mean they are a cult"

Me: "well the cartoon...."

T: "I'm just telling you you shouldn't call them a cult and it's wrong"

Me: "ok fine"

She kept cutting me off before I could even explain my reasoning. But should I not refer to them as a "cult"? Am I an asshole for referring to a religious group as a cult? If you have any questions about the group I'm talking about I'll try to explain it in a way not to call them out. I do believe they are a cult.

Imagine if I was in a reality show and brought up this topic. Would people side with me or would they think I'm just being rude? How do you think the audience would react if I explained my reasons on camera? Would they understand or think I'm out of line?

So I've had problems with SH in the past. It's gotten really bad now, and it's all on my legs so it's easier to hide from my parents. My mom thought she took all the sharp objects out of my room, but, well... my pencil sharpener. I took the blade out. I started feeling ashamed of who I am, so I might've written a couple things with the blade (I wrote "Kpop," "LGBTQ," and a therian symbol) then put an X through them. And on the other leg... I wrote smt I don't want to share. One of the things is still bleeding and I couldn't find a bandaid big enough to cover it so I used toilet paper and fucking packing tape to cover it and make a makeshift bandage.

I think that I don't feel very happy with my career but I'm truly scared to start all over again. My family's afraid that I will not "succeed" (I don't like that term) if I become a 24/7 artist but I don't wanna see myself sad and disappointed with my path. I know that being an artist is too hard but at least I wanna give it a try. But I don't know, I've been crying a lot today because of it. It's not that I hate my job but I sense that I'm not truly satisfied.

My relationship with my elder sister, Clara, has always been somewhat turbulent. We are distinctly different people; she has a passion for all things fashion and beauty, while I prefer a more casual lifestyle, focusing on academia and my career. Although our interests diverge, I believed we maintained a basic level of respect and civility, until a recent incident made me question this.

Clara’s upcoming wedding has been the center of her universe lately. In an attempt to cut costs elsewhere, she asked if I could contribute financially towards her wedding gown as a “sisterly gesture.” Having just secured a well-paying job, I agreed to help despite finding her request somewhat unusual.

A few weeks ago, during a family get-together, I wore a dress that made me feel particularly confident, despite not being a size 2. To my disbelief, Clara commented loudly enough for everyone to hear that I was “brave” for wearing something so “tight.” I was mortified but chose not to cause a scene by responding.

Later the same evening, she remarked privately that she could never wear something like my dress unless she slimmed down, suggesting the dress was unflattering for someone of my size. This hurt me deeply, and I expressed how offensive her comments were. She dismissed my feelings, claiming she was "just being honest."

These events have led me to reconsider my financial pledge for her wedding dress. When I communicated my decision to her, Clara reacted angrily, accusing me of being selfish and petty. She even claimed that I was sabotaging her special day over a mere joke. Frustrated, I stood my ground, which prompted our parents to intervene, suggesting I should overlook her remarks and contribute as planned, emphasizing that "that’s what sisters do."

However, I felt that Clara's comments crossed a line. This situation makes me wonder if I’m in the wrong for reconsidering my support.

If this saga were to unfold on a reality show, audiences might be captivated by the dramatic fallout, speculating on whether my sister’s comments were genuinely tactless or strategically designed to make a splash on national television. Viewers could be split, with some applauding my stance to withhold financial support as a form of standing up for oneself, while others might view me as overly sensitive, siding with my sister and viewing her comments as benign sibling banter.

Just curious: If you were on a reality show how would you react?

My stupid fucking friend hasn't responded to me in 15 days now. I know people are busy, but is it so fucking hard to just have a conversation every now and then? Fucking piece of shit.

I've been homeschooled my whole life. I've always hated it and left me to feel bitter. I saw my friends who went to public or private schools, they told me I was lucky, yet they were the ones who had friends, relationships, even the resources at school that helped them with their education. I had none of those. For me, I would wake up, go on my computer, finish my school, and stay home. I begged my mother to put me into public school when I reached 9th grade, didn't happen. Best she could do was enroll me into a virtual school, not any better since it was the exact same lifestyle. The only way my mother would comfort me was tell me about College, how when I got to college I'll meet so many people and start my life. Everyone told me that. That was what I held onto during my years, it was the only thing that kept me going. I worked hard, had a great GPA, did a lot of strong extracurriculars, take strong classes. Long story short, college admissions season has ended, and I basically got into none of the schools in my state that I wanted to go to. Every out of state school that I applied to and wanted to go so badly accepted me, all with scholarships. But it's too expensive, I have no financial aid since my family makes too much, but they said they won't help cover costs if I go out of state. The only in state school that accepted that is decent quality is 20 minutes away from my house, I'll get a car at least. To make it even better, it's known as a commuter school, social life is dry from what I've heard. All of my friends got into their dream schools, schools that they should be proud of, meanwhile Im ashamed. I thought it would finally be my time, something would finally happen. But nope. I'll be at my home, doing the same routine I have done my whole life. Nothing will change. I'll never go to a football game with friends, I'll never live in a dorm, I'll never know the thrill of being on my own. I wanted so badly to have that. So badly to live. Know I just feel empty and bitter and I keep thinking about all the "what ifs". I've never had the average teenage experience, hell, I haven't even had my first kiss. Now I will never have what I have only been dreaming of my whole life. I can't even begin to explain the absolute despair I am feeling. I thought things would be different, I thought I would be celebrating, not mourning the life I will never have. What stories will I tell to my children? I don't have any.

Recently, during some downtime from my job as a junior sous-chef, my older sister, Melissa, requested that I look after her three young children—all under the age of 10—after school. Eager to help, I agreed to babysit for a span of three days. Following the babysitting stint, Melissa compensated me for my time, and I thought the matter was settled. However, curiosity about their meals lingered in her mind. She quizzed me on what her kids had while under my care, particularly interested in how I managed to get them to consume a full meal.

Melissa’s children are notorious for their finicky eating habits, often picking out only the bits they prefer like meat or pasta, and leaving behind the vegetables and any unfamiliar dishes. Before my babysitting days, I had prior awareness of their selective eating. To tackle this, I cleverly incorporated vegetables and healthy ingredients into their meals—blending them into dishes on the first day, cleverly disguising them the next, and on the final day, introducing them in a novel manner which the kids found acceptably enticing.

However, when Melissa and her husband tried to replicate these methods, the results were less than successful, leading to a degree of frustration. After several discussions, I even passed along some of my recipes. Despite this, my sister couldn't get the kids to eat similarly for her. Subsequently, she proposed that I prepare meals for her children daily, suggesting it would be a good use of my culinary skills to ensure the kids stayed healthy. While she expected this as a familial favor, I was hesitant, realizing it involved considerable daily time and effort on my part. I queried whether she'd compensate me for this continuous commitment, to which she responded that I should offer my services gratis as a supportive uncle.

The proposition seemed substantial, but Melissa viewed my hesitation as an indicator of being unsupportive as both a brother and an uncle.

Honestly, if my situation was a part of a reality show, imagine the drama and the diverse perspectives from viewers. Some might view me as a generous uncle leveraging his chef skills for family, while others could sympathize with my reluctance to commit to a daily task without any form of compensation. It’s an intriguing scenario that could undoubtedly stir varied reactions depending on the angle presented.

Am I really in the wrong here for feeling a bit exploited? What would the general public think if this were televised for all to see?

My anxiety is out of control because people and people I'm friendly with just suddenly don't turn up on schedule to the point I'm afraid I've done something wrong when I know I haven't done anything inheritably bad or said anything to harm them. I'm so lonely are try my best to make them but it's so much harder with anxiety.

I think I got my best Karen in my career... I let you see :)

It was nearing the end of my shift, and I was the sole staff member left, effectively making me the interim supervisor for the evening. Just as we were preparing to close down, a woman burst into the store, visibly livid over our lack of decaffeinated coffee options. Despite explaining that I was the acting manager, and that our coffee machines were already cleaned and shut down for the day as it was only five minutes until closing time, she remained unfazed. I suggested another café just around the corner, but this only fueled her anger further.

She lost her temper, threatening to "find a real manager and have my lazy self fired," before hurling a half-full cup of sloppy cappuccino residue at me. Her rage didn’t stop there as it looked like she was about to vault the counter in a fit of fury. Underneath the counter, my hand gripped a hammer, thinking to myself, "Please don't make me use this."

In a desperate bid to de-escalate the situation, I grabbed the phone, pretending I was about to call the police. This seemed to work as she stormed out. I quickly locked the door behind her for safety. Shockingly, minutes later, she returned, charging towards the door and smacked straight into the glass like a confused bird hitting a window.

If this episode were filmed for a reality show, imagine the dramatic music and slow-motion replay of the customer hitting the door, followed by a confessional scene where I’d express my astonishment and frustration over the night’s chaos. The viewers would probably be split—half sympathizing with me having to deal with such a wild situation alone, and the others howling with laughter at the surreal slapstick of the moment.

This kind of intense personal encounter really makes you reconsider the unpredictable nature of working in customer service. You never expect your night to turn into an impromptu action movie scene!

I have been in a relationship with this guy and he were fine in the first month ,then we both went to different college ,and things taken fast he one day wanted to have breakup and after a day we did reconcile but he was behaving kind of rude for few days,later though he changed but he is in still contact with the guy because of whom we had to breakup.

I'm pissed everyday I did tell him about what I was going through and told him to completely cut off with that guy but he didn't listen just said ok and told that he can't because he is his senior and member of some club. i ain't that irrational and told him to be professional with him but still sends him reels n all all the time.

I told him to distance but I don't think does. he keeps mentioning that he is his friend but i think he gives more importance then friend.

now I feel not to talk to him because I'm

that pissed that I will fight with him.

Okay, so I really don’t know what to do right now. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for like, almost a year, and it’s been good, i guess? But lately, I keep asking myself this one question over and over: Should I break up with my boyfriend? And the fact that I’m even asking that makes me feel terrible because it’s not like he’s done something super wrong or anything. It’s just... ugh, I don’t even know how to explain it.

First of all, he’s not a bad guy or whatever. Like, he’s super sweet sometimes, and when we first started dating, he’d do all these cute things, like sending me good morning texts or surprising me with snacks during lunch. But now? It’s like he’s stopped trying. He doesn’t text me first anymore, barely even asks how I’m doing, and when we hang out, he’s always on his phone playing stupid games. It’s like I’m not even there half the time. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just says, “I’m busy” or “I didn’t know it was a big deal.” Like, hello?? I’m your girlfriend. Shouldn’t you care how i feel?

Then there’s the whole jealousy thing. He gets SO jealous over the dumbest stuff. Like last week, I was just talking to one of my guy friends at school—literally just talking—and later, he was all moody and weird about it. He kept saying stuff like, “Why were you laughing so much with him?” and “You don’t act like that around me anymore.” Like, excuse me? I can have friends! It’s so exhausting trying to constantly reassure him that I’m not cheating or whatever.

But at the same time, I feel bad even thinking about breaking up because I know he cares about me. Like, he’s the type of guy who would defend me if someone was being mean or walk me home if it’s late. And there are moments where I still feel like he loves me, you know? Like, the other day, he randomly brought me coffee because I had a bad day at school. Stuff like that makes me think maybe I’m just overthinking all this and being too harsh on him. But then, the next day, he’ll do something that makes me so frustrated, and I’m right back to wondering if I should break up with him.

It doesn’t help that everyone around me seems to have an opinion. My best friend keeps telling me I deserve better and that if he’s making me feel like this, then I should just end it. But then some of my other friends are like, “Relationships have ups and downs, and you just have to work through them.” So which one is it? Am I supposed to just stick it out and hope it gets better, or is this a sign that it’s time to let go?

Oh, and my parents don’t even like him. They think he’s “too immature” and that I could be focusing on school instead of dealing with boyfriend drama. And honestly? Sometimes I think they might be right. I feel like I spend more time stressing about this relationship than actually enjoying it. But does that mean I should break up with him? Or does every couple go through stuff like this?

The thing is, I do care about him. I really do. But I also feel like I’m losing myself a little bit in this relationship. Like, I used to hang out with my friends all the time and do fun stuff after school, but now it’s like everything revolves around him. If he’s in a bad mood, it ruins my whole day. If he’s happy, I feel like I can finally relax. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if I’m just stuck in something unhealthy.

Ugh, I feel like I’m rambling, but I seriously don’t know what to do. Part of me is scared to break up with him because what if I regret it? What if I realize I made a huge mistake, and by then, it’s too late? But then the other part of me is like, what if staying with him means I keep feeling this way? I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I wasted all this time on someone who doesn’t make me happy.

If you’ve ever felt like this, please tell me what you did. Did you break up, or did you try to work things out? How do you even know if it’s time to end things? Right now, I just feel so confused and stuck. I mean, I like him, but do I like him enough to keep dealing with all this? And if I’m already asking myself, “Should I break up with my boyfriend?” does that mean deep down I already know the answer?