Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm more than sure that I wasn't born for this

Whatever it means

I can do better

I don't know how

But I know deep down that I can do better

I'm tired

Hi there!

I chose the "Bridezilla" categories but I don't think I am a Bridezilla... I will let you help me to find if I am a Bridezilla or not!

The day of my wedding began like any other. I, the bride-to-be, was busy with the final pampering and prepping indoors while the outside arrangements were being tweaked to perfection. By midday, I was nearly dressed and ready, except my mom had to dash back to our hotel, a 20-minute drive away, to change her outfit. She was supposed to bring along my grandmother and a close family friend.

Our wedding invites had clearly stated that the ceremony would begin at 2 PM. True to form, there was a slight delay, but nothing significant. Suddenly, there I was, making my solo walk down the aisle, with my mom, grandma, and our family friend nowhere in sight. The ceremony flew by, and still no sign of them.

Forty-five minutes later, they finally arrived. I couldn't help but confront them, explaining with a mix of disbelief and frustration that they had missed the entire ceremony. My mother’s reaction was unexpectedly aggressive; first, she blamed the bakery for a delay with some buns, then she said a train had held them up. But the kicker was when she accused me of not calling or texting to check on their whereabouts — as if the start time hadn’t been made clear! Moreover, we had a tight timeline because the officiant had another wedding to officiate right after ours.

So, am I in the wrong for not delaying my wedding ceremony? A little later, I discovered the true cause of their tardiness: my mom wasn't finished getting ready, which in turn delayed everyone else. Yet somehow, in her eyes, the fault was mine.

Imagine if this scene played out on a reality show, the drama and chaos of the delayed family members missing the bride's moment could potentially have made for a sensational episode, filled with confrontations and confessions under the spotlight. The viewers might side with me for sticking to the schedule, or perhaps sympathize with my mom's fluster over fashion. Either way, it would make for riveting television!

So, considering my story, how do you think a reality show audience might have reacted? And... Am I a f***** Bridezilla???

Okay, so I really don’t know what to do right now. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for like, almost a year, and it’s been good, i guess? But lately, I keep asking myself this one question over and over: Should I break up with my boyfriend? And the fact that I’m even asking that makes me feel terrible because it’s not like he’s done something super wrong or anything. It’s just... ugh, I don’t even know how to explain it.

First of all, he’s not a bad guy or whatever. Like, he’s super sweet sometimes, and when we first started dating, he’d do all these cute things, like sending me good morning texts or surprising me with snacks during lunch. But now? It’s like he’s stopped trying. He doesn’t text me first anymore, barely even asks how I’m doing, and when we hang out, he’s always on his phone playing stupid games. It’s like I’m not even there half the time. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just says, “I’m busy” or “I didn’t know it was a big deal.” Like, hello?? I’m your girlfriend. Shouldn’t you care how i feel?

Then there’s the whole jealousy thing. He gets SO jealous over the dumbest stuff. Like last week, I was just talking to one of my guy friends at school—literally just talking—and later, he was all moody and weird about it. He kept saying stuff like, “Why were you laughing so much with him?” and “You don’t act like that around me anymore.” Like, excuse me? I can have friends! It’s so exhausting trying to constantly reassure him that I’m not cheating or whatever.

But at the same time, I feel bad even thinking about breaking up because I know he cares about me. Like, he’s the type of guy who would defend me if someone was being mean or walk me home if it’s late. And there are moments where I still feel like he loves me, you know? Like, the other day, he randomly brought me coffee because I had a bad day at school. Stuff like that makes me think maybe I’m just overthinking all this and being too harsh on him. But then, the next day, he’ll do something that makes me so frustrated, and I’m right back to wondering if I should break up with him.

It doesn’t help that everyone around me seems to have an opinion. My best friend keeps telling me I deserve better and that if he’s making me feel like this, then I should just end it. But then some of my other friends are like, “Relationships have ups and downs, and you just have to work through them.” So which one is it? Am I supposed to just stick it out and hope it gets better, or is this a sign that it’s time to let go?

Oh, and my parents don’t even like him. They think he’s “too immature” and that I could be focusing on school instead of dealing with boyfriend drama. And honestly? Sometimes I think they might be right. I feel like I spend more time stressing about this relationship than actually enjoying it. But does that mean I should break up with him? Or does every couple go through stuff like this?

The thing is, I do care about him. I really do. But I also feel like I’m losing myself a little bit in this relationship. Like, I used to hang out with my friends all the time and do fun stuff after school, but now it’s like everything revolves around him. If he’s in a bad mood, it ruins my whole day. If he’s happy, I feel like I can finally relax. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if I’m just stuck in something unhealthy.

Ugh, I feel like I’m rambling, but I seriously don’t know what to do. Part of me is scared to break up with him because what if I regret it? What if I realize I made a huge mistake, and by then, it’s too late? But then the other part of me is like, what if staying with him means I keep feeling this way? I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I wasted all this time on someone who doesn’t make me happy.

If you’ve ever felt like this, please tell me what you did. Did you break up, or did you try to work things out? How do you even know if it’s time to end things? Right now, I just feel so confused and stuck. I mean, I like him, but do I like him enough to keep dealing with all this? And if I’m already asking myself, “Should I break up with my boyfriend?” does that mean deep down I already know the answer?

I'm only going to speak of a specific medical issue I'm currently dealing with right now. Which probably isn't actually a good thing that I'm typing this on a digital device... But I sorta have an addiction to digital device use. Not specifically social media, but just the use the digital media.

Anyway...

According to the CA Emergency Room. It's normal for me to have ocular migraines. They said that the excruciating pain would be normal. But also, according to my Psychiatrist, I can only take Advil or Tylenol😭! Due to certain circumstances.

The symptoms I have when the ocular migraines happen are:

Complete and utter pain starting behind my left eye. It migrates to pain in my left nostril. Then the pain moves along to my upper left side jaw. The stickles down to my lower left side jaw. The it enjoys a nice right through the left side of my neck. And ends it's painful adventure through my left are down to my pink finger🤕!

Light and temperature play a factor too. If it's too bright... It hurts🔆. If the temperature is too cold... It hurts🌡️. And unfortunately for me... I run really hot... So these migraines make it difficult for me to adjust the temperature, since I haven't learned how to use my cousins thermostat thingy on the wall🫠. And all I need is the left side of my face, neck, and arm to be warm... Not my whole body😫!

At least the Nivea lotion I have is really good at drying my skin out, so I don't have to worry too much about the sweat🥵!

But that's not the point.

I went to the ER while I was in pain and unbalanced as well... And they said it's normal😒.

I went to a neurologist as well... All test came back normal😮‍💨.

I went for blood work... Guess what... Normal🥴.

So, according to many doctors opinions... Being in immense pain, and not being able to walk is... "Normal" for someone who doesn't experience this everyday😑.

Also, the cause of symptoms are based on how much I'm anxious about something, someone, or somewhere😥.

And my life right now is just all about that anxiousness🤪!!

And I wouldn't be responding to any story's/things I've written on this site for a while. Until I get better. I do like to respond to comments... So when I'm better... I'll respond to all the comments or questions later😌🙏🏻✨!!

lately ive realized that i avoid opening up to the people around me about my mental state and it has been damaging my relationships (duh). ive been dealing with trauma from an SA that happened a long time ago that i just recently came to terms with and in doing so, i relapsed in smoking. (i had been smoke free for a year and a half)

i feel like my friendships lack depth.

i just recently opened up to my mom about the SA and the smoking and was pleasantly surprised with how loving and understanding she was and how i no longer felt like a stranger to my own mother, so im wondering if maybe i should open up to my friends more.

my dad passed away one year ago and a half and i realized that if my friends hadnt seen that on my mom's facebook, i would have probably never even told them that my dad passed.

i used to struggle with SH in the past and when coming to terms with the SA, i relapsed but only once (since i chose smoking over SH because i thought it would harm me less). i have visible scars on my thighs and left wrist. (the ones on my wrist are 2 years old but they were deep so theyre visible) they're not wounds anymore, they're quite literally scars. my skin is very pale and the scars are noticeable. thats why im often dressed in baggy, oversized clothes even in summer. now that i think of it, i dont think my friends every saw my arms, or any other part of my body other than my head and my hands.

im just so closed off to anyone around me and it pisses me off, but im so scared of being perceived as vulnerable or weak. all i do is smoke cigarettes and (p rarely i will admit) weed and shut up about my problems.

i was just reflecting on why i feel so isolated from everyone and why all my friendships lack depth and i think this is it.

All my life I've been making friends for survival. As a child I didn't know why I was making friends, sometimes, for any reason other than to not be alone. I never thought about whether I actually liked the people I was spending my time with. I never took it seriously when they acted mockingly or cruelly towards me. Instead, I saw it as a reason to win them over. I often ended up in friendships that were genuinely worse than just hanging out by myself with a book.

I have three friends right now, who are closer to me than any other friend has been before. It turns out two of them had feelings for me the whole time. I don't have feelings for either of them. I just wanted their friendship and I thought – or rather, hoped – that they were happy with the same. I feel disappointed that they wanted something more. I feel like our friendship isn't enough. It makes me uncomfortable that my friendship with them was the second-place trophy. My other friend is great, but stays inside a lot, so when I ask to hang out, they often say no. It's great whenever we do hang out, and their helicopter parent doesn't tag along unexpectedly – we just don't hang out often anymore.

I wish I had a friend who just wanted to fuckin' hang out with me. Someone who wasn't sticking around because they thought a romance could develop, someone who actually reaches out to ME as much as I reach out to them, someone who feels like my companion.

While I don't have a friend like that, I do have my brother, who I grew up with. He's kind to me, understanding. We can talk completely freely and openly with each other, AND we can keep things private from the other as well. We're totally accepting of each other and I so, so appreciate his presence in my life. Without him I reckon I would feel totally alone.

I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of either isolating myself, or being as open as I've ever been – or both. That's why I'm optimistic about my future.

I'm finally learning that I don't NEED friends. I want them. And those friendships will come with time and effort, not desperately grasping onto the nearest person who pays any attention to me. I'm the kind of person who many find hard to read or unpredictable, or "too different" to even try to get to know. I reckon that's okay. I don't need their approval or even their understanding. It would sure be fucking nice, but I don't need it anymore.

I can just exist as myself, be actively open to making GENUINE friendships, and wait to see what happens.

So I'm letting go of the idea that I need friends. I'm letting go of the idea that I need to be understood or liked by everyone around me. What I actually need is to like myself, to be able to enjoy spending time with myself. And make no mistake, I love hanging out with other people – but I don't need to consider my own company a second-place trophy. I'm great company. I've gotta enjoy that without thinking about who I could be hanging out with instead.

Although I may not be as bad as others, I still feel horrible about myself. I'm fat, ugly, without any hobbies or any significant interests other than games. My music taste is literally just composed to Video Game OSTs so I can't even bond with others. I'm just a hollow shell of a person, no talents, no skills, no hobbies, nothing. "Oh, you like music, what's your favorite band." Oh, uh, I don't know, Studio EIM? I want to feel proud, I want to tell myself that I'm enough, that I'm worth something.

But I honestly can't. My friends always tell me how weird I am for my passion in games. "You're actually such a loser for listening to just Video Game soundtracks lol". I know it's probably just for shits and giggles, but it honestly really hurts whenever they nitpick my already miserable life. And I often feel like a sore thumb when I realize that someone else that likes my interests aren't actually insane for them.

Take for example Project Moon, my most beloved game studio. I feel like I'm always babbling about Project Moon so much because I thought he was the same, but turns out he's just a casual fan. I feel embarassed whenever I feel happy talking about PM because I always think I'm just being a nuisance.

I just don't feel close to them anymore, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to fit in because I'm scared of losing them.

I just want someone that I can trust to talk about anything, knowing that they won't talk behind my back. Someone who would be with me no matter what happens.

For starters, hubby and I come from different backgrounds/cultures.

We had another baby about six months ago. After a few weeks, my in-laws came (from out of town; ~500miles away) to help out. They were great with the other kids: did school drop off and pick ups, went to the playground, read them books, etc. Since it wasn’t my first, I recovered better and felt pretty good. We discussed cooking schedules and I offered a few meals here and there. The visit was a success and they went home.

They decided to come back two months later since the kids had school events they wanted to see plus they could keep helping. No biggie. We welcomed them with open arms. It should be said that they brought their RV and stayed in that during their stays. We have enough space on our property and it’s not in the way by any means.

This visit was rougher. I will admit, communication was not as explicit as their first visit.

They weren’t taking the kids to school! I got everyone ready the first morning and even said “Ok, you guys are ready for school! Have a fun day!” In-laws were sitting in the living room reading books to the younger kids. I know they would have heard me. The last visit, Gpa would be waiting with keys in hand while I finished brushing hair and then walk everyone out. Not this time. He just sat there watching the little kids. I started doing the dishes bc I figured they would leave soon. After about five minutes, I realised “they aren’t going to take them, are they? I will have to take them.” I stopped washing the dishes and called out “ok time to go. In the van everyone.” Sure enough, gpa and gma were like “bye kids. Have a great day. See you this afternoon.” Since I hadn’t expected to leave, the baby was still asleep and I asked if they could just keep an ear out for the baby. They said, ”Actually, we’re going out for a coffee.” So, no. After wrangling all the kids into the van, I had to come back for the baby and put them in the van. Needless to say, the school kids were late. I had to get everyone out of the van, strap in baby, wrangle toddlers and guide the older two to the office then their classroom then back to van. I returned home. After about ten minutes, I get a text my MIL “We’re at [this cafe]. Join us after drop off.” That sounded lovely and nice but I was already home and baby back in the crib. I turned it down with a frown.

Fast forward. I’m doing all the dropping off and picking up with ALL my kiddos! But tell you what, we weren’t tardy anymore! 😩I’m having to cook every other day. Well, the cooking wasn’t terrible but the time when I had to start cooking was stressful bc they “eat by a certain time. Can’t sleep otherwise.” This visit was more of a vacation for them and more work for us this time around. I think they spent like 30 minutes reading books and playing with the kids and then it was “going for a coffee” or “going to lunch” or “we’re tired. Going to rest see you at dinner”. Every day. I won’t go into their comments. Not derogatory, just like “oh this is so nice and relaxing“ and I’m over here on my last thread!!!

Second trip was zero helping! They watched the kids for a short bit and we wouldn’t see them until after school and then dinner. The kids were always asking where Gpa and Gma were. I just had to say they went to their RV to sleep. We’ll see then at dinner. Poor kids just wanted their fun grandparents.

Thinking back. That trip was frustrating bc the kids wanted to see them and spend time with them and they wouldn’t stay in the house long enough. I know they are “old” and have the prerogative to rest. So why plan a trip you can’t handle? Stay home and rest. Don’t come and get the grandkids all riled up and not spend time with them. That’s what upset me. Do and say what you want to me but spend time with the grandkids!!

Hey! It's Caralia. My dad, let's call him Diego. So, my little brother and I have a 3 year age gap. Keep that noted. So as the eldest sister, for 3 years, I had all the attention. My mom was always studying for nursing school, and dad had the shitty job-good pay. Then, my little brother, Dominic was born. All the attention shifted to the newborn. Diego was already stressed with bipolar, work, and a newborn, plus a jealous 3-year-old. My dad would often lash out at me, and leave all parts of my brother out. Time skip to when I'm nine. My dad emotionally made me insecure and belittled constantly, but I searched comfort from friends. My mother was usually at work for 5 hours a week nightshift nursing. I tried to get good grades, I achieved it. But my dad didn't care. Just told me to fuck off. My brother was 6 at the time, and I despised him. When I was 10, I developed a healthy relationship with my brother. Dominic is like my best friend despite all the old jealously that doesn't linger. My dad started a different, more effective medication for bipolar. For the past few years, he's been much better of a dad, but I still have emotional breakage because of him. I have diagnosed major anxiety and minor depression. I also take LexaPro and Hydroxozine. My dad tries to be better, but everytime he tries to have a conversation deeper than, 'What's your favorite color' I immediately like shut down.

So here's the thing, you ever find yourself spiraling into this never-ending whirlwind of thoughts, wondering if there's some magical trick to escape your own overactive brain? It's like, how do you actually get out of your own head without losing it entirely? We all know those moments when every little thing starts blowing up into some colossal issue that doesn't even exist, but you're just sitting there overanalyzing; it feels like a tornado of mental chaos. I'm talking about when you're chilling at two in the morning, staring blankly at the ceiling, and your mind decides it's the perfect time to dissect every single embarrassing memory from the past decade. Seriously, what’s up with our brains behaving like this, right? Maybe you’re in the middle of something casual, like scrolling through your phone, and suddenly, wham! A wave of existential dread just crashes down on you. Like, can I binge-watch one episode without my brain short-circuiting from overthinking? It's exhausting. 🙄 You start wondering if you're the only one who experiences this, and honestly, it makes you question your sanity a bit. Are other people strolling through life effortlessly while I'm here battling these relentless, nagging thoughts? You might've even tried some self-help books; but let's be real, most of them are just full of fancy words and empty promises. There's one I read that basically just felt like some guy yelling "relax" over and over again, which doesn't exactly work, you know? People say meditate—okay, sure, but sitting in silence only invites more annoying brain chatter, making you feel like you're stuck in a noisy echo chamber filled with your own silly thoughts. Talking to friends? Yeah, been there, done that. But sometimes it seems like they just don’t get it or are secretly judging your rant. You try distractions, maybe picking up a hobby like painting or cooking. Just for a fleeting moment, you think you've cracked the code to inner peace, then bam! Your mind goes rogue again. Ever thought of professional help? Geez, typing that out makes it feel extreme, right? But sometimes it's what you gotta do, because, honestly, you can't rely on venting about it somewhere online forever, can you? How about just straight-up running, exercising like you're being chased by demons from your own psyche? Could be a temporary fix, who knows? Nevertheless, wouldn't it be sweet if we could just flip a switch and shut our brains down, even if just for a little bit? Maybe then we wouldn't be perpetually tired from battling with our own annoying inner voices. At the end of the day, it feels like you're stumbling through some intricate labyrinth with no map. So, how does anyone genuinely manage to quiet this endless mind chatter? You'd think life would come with instructions to navigate your own complicated thoughts easily. But, I guess we're left figuring out our messy psyches on the fly. The question remains: is there an actual escape route out of your swirling, tumultuous thoughts, or are we all just destined to remain trapped in this mental maze forever?

At 22, I moved to Denver and began sharing a lovely two-bedroom flat with 'Ella'. We instantly hit it off, sharing a love for hiking, local breweries, and concerts. But then Ella attended a sustainability workshop and came back transformed, determined to turn our flat into an eco-haven.

Ella's eco-friendly suggestions quickly began to strain my budget. She proposed installing solar panels on our rented balcony and replaced bottled water with a costly filtration system—even though I only drink from the tap. She banned paper towels in favor of reusable cloths and substituted plastic wraps with pricy beeswax ones from TikTok. Plus, she's now crafting her homemade toiletries and expects me to financially contribute to these initiatives without prior discussion. When I questioned the expenses, she retorted that I was being "financially shortsighted," despite acknowledging the skyrocketing rent in Denver. This disagreement left our friend circle divided, with some saying I’m cheap, while others support my concerns over imposed costs.

Imagine if this whole scenario unfolded on a reality show! How would the public react to Ella's eco-push and my budget woes? Would audiences side with the push for green living, or sympathize with the stress of unexpected financial burdens? Reality shows thrive on conflict, and this situation could stir up all sorts of viewer debates and team hashtags.

Now, about these eco-changes and costs, am I wrong to push back because of my financial limits?

I never thought I’d be the guy who had it all together. And to be honest, I still don’t feel like I do. But when I look at my life—my wife, my kids, our home—I know I’m lucky. I have a good job, a healthy family, and a reason to wake up every morning. I remember being younger, picturing what adulthood would look like, and this was it. The stability, the love, the feeling of coming home to people who actually want to see you at the end of the day. Life is good. But at the same time, there’s this nagging thought in the back of my mind that I can’t shake: it can be better.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy. It’s not like I want to run away from my responsibilities or trade any of this for something else. But sometimes, I feel like I’m just going through the motions. Work, bills, fixing things around the house, making sure the kids have everything they need. Then it’s bedtime, a few hours of quiet, and we do it all over again. And I love my family more than anything, but I miss something I can’t even put into words. Maybe it’s freedom, maybe it’s excitement, maybe it’s just the feeling of being more than just a dad and a husband.

I see other guys chasing their dreams—starting businesses, traveling, picking up new hobbies—and I wonder if I’m supposed to be doing that too. Should I be pushing myself harder? Should I be taking risks instead of playing it safe all the time? There was a time when I had big ideas, when I wanted more than just a comfortable life. But now? I’m not even sure what more looks like anymore. And the weird thing is, I feel guilty for even thinking about it. Like, shouldn’t I just be grateful for what I have? Shouldn’t this be enough?

Maybe part of the problem is that I don’t really take time for myself. I’m always in “dad mode” or “work mode,” and when I do get a second to breathe, I don’t even know what to do with it. I used to love playing guitar, used to spend hours drawing, used to actually read books instead of just scrolling through my phone. But somewhere along the way, those things stopped feeling important. Now, if I do anything that isn’t productive, I feel like I’m wasting time. And there’s always something else that needs to get done.

But I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I let myself disappear. I don’t want to be that guy who only existed for his family and forgot how to be his own person too. My kids are gonna grow up. They’re gonna have their own lives, their own problems, their own dreams. And when that happens, who will I be? Just some guy who works and pays bills? That thought scares me more than I like to admit.

So yeah, life is good, but it can be better. Not because I want more money or a bigger house or some crazy adventure. But because I want to feel alive in my own life, not just present in everyone else’s. I don’t know exactly what that looks like yet, but I know it starts with me. And maybe that’s enough for now.

I was sitting on my bed, just sitting there. My cat came up to me while I was watching a YT vid (the click btw) and she started to attack my phone. I'd like to make it clear that I haven't hurt her, not even when I did this, I have dropped her from my bed (a bunk bed) but she never seemed affected and I only did that when she tore down the blanket I hung from my ceiling for privacy. When she attacked my phone, without much thought I flipped her. Like, I kinda pushed her away but she flipped onto her back. I can't remember how rough I was but she seemed fine and just layed down afterwards. I immediately grabbed her and put her on my stomach and started petting her as a silent apology. But this made me realize that i keep doing things like that I could start hurting her and I would hate to do that because she's just a small kitten. She's just doing what cats do. I feel really bad but that's not an excuse. Please, I would love to hear any feedback on what you think of this and what I could do to keep myself from letting my annoyance turn me into a monster. This poor kitty (her name is MJ) doesn't deserve to be the outlet for my anger and I really just don't know what to do or think about how I've treated her. She's laying on my chest while I type this out but I still feel like a piece of crap.

so i'm in a bit of a predicament. i've been married to my husband for three years now, and honestly, i just don't feel the same way about him anymore. we met in college, things were great at first, but somewhere along the way, something changed. i'm not sure if it was the stress from work or the routine we settled into; maybe it's just me evolving as a person, who knows. it feels like we're stuck on autopilot with no exit strategy.

i find myself questioning whether i should be honest with him about how i've been feeling. part of me thinks it's better to keep quiet to not hurt him, but another part can't help but wonder if that would be fair to either of us. i miss that spark we used to have and can't decide if it's worth trying to reignite or if letting go is the right path.

he's a good guy, don't get me wrong (kindhearted and supportive!!) but i can't shake this overwhelming sense of disconnection between us. the chemistry that once glued us together now seems more like an obligation than genuine affection;

i've even considered talking to some friends about it yet fear they'll judge me for having these thoughts. society paints marriage as this unbreakable vow full of eternal bliss, when in reality it's more complex...

it's scary admitting all this out loud (or typing it out) because there's always that lingering worry: what if i'm making too big a deal out of temporary feelings? however deep down inside i know there needs addressing before resentment builds further.

“i feel like crying, i don’t feel like myself / this isn’t like me at all” — TWICE, TT

2026 was supposed to be my person year. a year where i’m putting myself first, to do things i love without judgement, u know how it goes. but it’s been january and i feel like i wanna unalive.

the anti-ai bullying is getting worse each day. i mentioned previously that it’s hard to be a synthographer bc ur most likely to get an “ai slop trash” comment than a praise. they’ll trash u, fuck u up, until u snap. i guess that’s what’s happening to me lately. it’s getting problematic for me and everyone i know.

i thought that art is meant for everyone, but why does everyone think that we’re stealing images with actual creativity that gets run thru the machine? why does everyone think i’m a fraud; that i’m not fit to be part of multimedia arts course? why does everyone accuse someone of using chatgpt just by using an em dash? this greater internet fuckwad theory is getting too much man. putangina.

and hey, don’t get me started on anti’s antics. the witch hunts, the accusations, the constant bashing, even memes. don’t forget nightshade and throw in that NO-AI.gif too. “we got demons in the comments section,” says oliver tree in one song, and i think there is on every comments section.

i know that society expects u to get ur shit together, but rn i feel like i’m falling apart. i’m confused, overwhelmed, overstimmed. for fuck’s sake, i’m already losing interest in synthography bc of school. there, does that make u happy? are u happy that i can’t generate anymore bc i don’t have wifi? are u happy that u won from constant bullying? are u happy that u flip off an ai billboard or write anti-ai graffiti on a subway ad? be fucking honest, ARE U HAPPY?

i’m so tired of this bullshit. there are times where i wanted to look for some inspiration, but i end up doomscrolling instead. fuck all of this man. i can’t take it anymore. once again, thanks for coming to my TED talk.