Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Okay, so I have two friends. We have all been friends since first grade. We still hang out and make each other laugh when we have problems. We never vent to each other or get sad. We just laugh at ourselves. Lately though one of them has started venting to the other. The other says it’s perfectly okay to vent. When I was with the first one in private I complained and she said that my problems didn’t matter.

I’ve always been the shy one of the group and now they text and call each other more than they do me. Whenever they try to call me I don’t answer.

I feel terrible and I’m going through some problems right now so I hope my friends don’t hate me but they both like the same things and I don’t know what they are.

This is so dumb but I don’t have any other friends so…. Yeah.

i'm sitting here at my desk, staring at the blank document on my screen, wondering, am i really losing my edge? am i depressed or just lazy? it's baffling to me how, year after year, i've noticed this creeping loss of motivation at work, and the worst part? i can't pinpoint why!! for a 31-year-old guy working in IT, motivation is supposed to be my fuel, but for some reason, it feels like i've been running on fumes. i used to innovate, execute tasks with precision, and thrive in problem-solving scenarios. but now... it's like my engine's stalled and i can't find the damn key! why is that???

is it just age? i can't deny, as a male growing older, perhaps there are societal expectations that weigh heavily on my shoulders, but still, that shouldn't kill my drive... should it? my workflow has become such a mess. i manage to perform the minimal viable operations — barely making deadlines, ticking off tasks like a robot on autopilot. it's such a grind, and i find myself asking, what's the point? where'd my thirst for success in this industry go? is this some kind of existential problem?? i'm getting tired of hearing myself think all these "whys" without answers! getting ported from one project to another doesn't help either — continuity's dead in my professional life. but, truth be told, it's not external forces dampening my spirit; it's something internal.

could it be that i've hit a saturation point? is this how burnout feels? maybe i just need a break. stepping back might offer fresh perspectives, but i feel guilty! guilty for not being 100%... this loop's annoying — when i slack, i feel awful, but when i hustle, motivation peaces out. hell, it's a frigging paradox!!! is this common? do other people feel this tug-of-war? i think back to when i started in this field, enthusiasm sky-high. pipelines, coding, debugging — all were thrilling challenges. but now, they feel mundane. i'm not trying to be dramatic or entitled, i'm genuinely perplexed, questioning my state of mind. or perhaps industry's changes have left me jaded without realizing???

the worst part is, i'm caught in this limbo of indecisiveness. will making a drastic change fix things, or is it something i need to address internally first? therapy's crossed my mind, but am i ready to say i'm depressed? what if i'm really just a lazy bum??? but then, when i'm not working, this sense of guilt eats me alive. it's not like i hate my job — i still find aspects engaging, but the drive's disappeared. isn't that crazy?? people say, follow your passion, but what do you do when one's passion dwindles?? it's not encourage that i lack — colleagues and bosses have been supportive! it's like having all the resources with zero desire to utilize them.

this is the part where i'm supposed to figure it all out and give a massive, life-changing revelation. sorry to disappoint, but truth is, i'm still clueless!! am i depressed, lazy, or in need of a career pivot? can't tell. i'll keep pondering, trudging through, hoping answers will come eventually. for now, venting's all i got. meanwhile, i'll keep asking, do others deal with this crap too?? or am i an anomaly? would be interesting to know... let me know if you've been in a similar boat... and how the hell you managed to sail out of it! 🤔

I met a guy online a little bit ago and we quickly discovered we had a lot in common and liked talking to each other. We eventually made plans to meet in person. (We confirmed we both were who we said we were and did all the proper safety steps like meeting in public etc) I traveled to where he lives. ( I know now that I should have had us meet halfway in a neutral location but it is what it is now.) we met in a public location and we had hugged and kissed and chatted a bit. He was very sweet but it was a little awkward. I figured maybe we just needed to get used to the in person dynamic. Things improved after a little bit of talking.I was feeling more confident. This is where things went south, I know I shouldn’t have but I did let him convince me to hook up with him at my hotel. I was incredibly uncomfortable and he even said he could tell I was uncomfortable. Not to mention it hurt horribly because he was very rough. He also said right after that he kept having flashbacks of his ex during it. We met up the next day for lunch and right in public he tells me he felt nothing when we did romantic stuff but he did like hanging out with me. I was floored by his coldness and the fact he would do that in a crowded restaurant. It was a relief in a way though because I felt uneasy about him to say the least. Intraveled home early and we have spoken since and he once again told me he could tell I wasn’t ready and that I was uncomfortable when we hooked up and that I was “lucky to have discovered that with him and he was caring enough to be patient with me”. I had tried to bring up some feelings I had from the whole thing like that it effected my confidence and he said it wasn’t fair to him for me to have feelings about the whole thing because he was moving on too. Am I wrong for feeling so torn up and gross about this experience? What do you think?

everyone here comments the same. ive read multiple post with the same comment styles beneath them

I love how good I've been feeling recently :)

My relationship with my mom has always been fraught with tension. During my teenage years, the emotional and mental abuse I endured was severe. Our arguments were a daily occurrence, propelled by her high expectations for me in both academics and sports like tennis. My effort was constantly scrutinized, and despite my diagnosis with ADD and being prescribed medication that helped me achieve straight A’s, she continued to criticize my effort level. Her controlling behavior even extended to monitoring my weight, scolding me for any gain, and sending me to various weight loss camps from a young age. One summer, she forced me into a counselor role at one of these camps, leaving me stranded when I needed transportation home after everyone else had quit.

The loss of my high school tennis coach, who was like a father figure to me, was a devastating blow during my freshman year. His unexpected death left me deeply saddened, but my mom’s insistence on maintaining perfect attendance at school prevented me from grieving. My mourning was dismissed by her as drug-related behavior, to the extent that she threatened to drug test me. Although she briefly acquiesced to group therapy, she soon pulled me out, disrupting my healing process. Her harsh words that God had taken my coach away because I didn’t value him enough are words that have scarred me deeply.

As our arguments escalated, I would often threaten to sever ties once I left for college, expressing in a letter that I didn't ever want my future children to suffer her influence. This led her to make significant improvements in her behavior. While our relationship has somewhat mended and she has shown attempts at rectifying her actions, occasional remarks and tensions still emerge during visits, though the relationship has improved markedly from my younger years.

Recently, my parents have been pressuring me about marriage and grandchildren, expressing a deep desire to become grandparents. Having been out of a relationship for three years and unsure about wanting children, my admission was met with disappointment and accusations of selfishness. My mother lamented their potential missed opportunity to be grandparents, suggesting my decision was an unfair punishment for her past behavior. Though her efforts to reform our relationship are evident, lingering feelings of resentment make me question my own desires regarding parenthood. The thought of denying her the chance to be a grandmother brings guilt, especially as it also affects my father who has been largely supportive.

It’s fascinating considering what might happen if my life were part of a reality show. Would the public sympathize with my difficult childhood and ongoing struggles, or would they judge my decisions and reluctance to forgive? Could the external pressure and audience opinions sway my personal decisions or would I hold my ground?

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting children because of my rocky past with my mom?

I used to wake up every morning and the first thing I’d think about was him. What he needed, what he wanted, what would make his day easier. For years, my life was completely wrapped around someone else’s comfort. I thought that was what love was supposed to be—giving, giving, giving. And then giving some more. I didn’t even notice how little of myself was left. After the divorce, I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. Not because I’d changed overnight, but because I’d been gone for so long I forgot what it felt like to actually be me. It took everything falling apart for me to realize I hadn’t loved myself in a long time. Maybe never. I was so busy being everything for someone else, I forgot how to be anything for myself.

The divorce wasn’t just an end to a marriage, it was like tearing off a layer of skin. Everything was raw. And lonely. I thought I’d feel free, but at first, all I felt was empty. And embarassed. Like I’d failed somehow, like I’d wasted all those years. Friends told me, “Now you can start over,” but I didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t even know what I liked to eat without him deciding. What music I wanted to play in the car. What shows I liked that weren’t his favorites. It sounds silly, but those little things matter. They’re pieces of you that you give up so slowly, you don’t even notice until you’re sitting in silence, alone, and don’t know what playlist to pick.

At first, I tried to fill the silence with distractions. I downloaded dating apps, I went out with friends even when I didn’t feel like it, I tried to prove to everyone that I was fine, better than fine. But I wasn’t. I was tired. emotionally and physically. I was carrying so much guilt and resentment and just… loss. I had to admit to myself that healing wasn’t gonna come from someone new. It had to come from me. From me giving myself all the care and attention I’d been giving someone else for over a decade. It meant sitting with my pain, even when it sucked. It meant crying in the car after grocery shopping. It meant stop pretending.

Little by little, I started doing small things just for me. I took walks without needing a destination. I started journaling, even if half the time I just wrote “i don’t know what i’m doing.” I went to therapy even tho it made me uncomfortable at first. I took long baths and lit candles for me, not for a vibe or for someone to notice. I started trying new hobbies, just to see if anything sparked joy. Painting, badly. Cooking things he’d never eat. Reading books that weren’t on his shelf. Bit by bit, I felt like I was meeting myself for the first time. And I kinda liked her. She was quieter than I remembered. Softer. But also stronger.

The biggest shift came when I stopped asking what I had done wrong to deserve the way he treated me. Because loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. And I finally understood that if you don’t love yourself first, you’ll accept a love that doesn’t love you back the right way. You’ll bend, shrink, hide, just to make it work. And that’s not love—that’s survival. And I don’t want to just survive anymore. I want to live. I want to laugh and feel proud and be loved the way I deserve, starting with myself. I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t need to have it all figured out. But I need to be kind to me.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re where I was, lost and grieving and doubting yourself… please know this: you are not broken. You are not unloveable. But you do have to choose you. Even if it feels selfish. Even if it hurts at first. Love yourself first, because you’re the one person who’s gonna be there from start to finish. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel whole. Be the one who shows up for you. Every damn day.

My partner Clara and I have been organizing our wedding for August 2024, following a two-year engagement to allow us to gather funds. Coincidentally, my mother got engaged over the recent holidays and has her wedding planned for the end of May 2024. This places our weddings barely two months apart.

Clara was taken aback when she learned about my mother's plans. She questioned if I found it odd, which initially, I didn't. Clara expressed concern that having a parent marry so close to their child's wedding was unusual because the child’s event should ideally remain the focal point. She mentioned that her own parents would never schedule their wedding so close to hers.

My mother, who’s a seasoned wedding planner with a generous budget, has definitely shifted the family’s attention towards her own wedding. Recently, Clara felt slighted at a family gathering. When the topic of her dress fitting came up, someone asked if my mother had seen the dress. Responding in jest, Clara said she wouldn't be taking my mother dress shopping in fear that she might end up trying on gowns herself.

This led to a tensed conversation where my mother confrontationally asked Clara if there was an issue between them, leading to Clara just rolling her eyes. For the rest of the evening, my mother’s fiancé and I had to keep the two apart. Later, in the car, I pointed out to Clara that her comment was unnecessary, which upset her further. I tried to explain that I understood her feelings but also stated that my mother might not prioritize our wedding the same way, which probably wasn't the best thing to add at the time. Clara became noticeably quieter and was reluctant to discuss it further, making me realize I might have been too harsh.

If this scenario unfolded in a reality show, I can only imagine the fans rallying behind Clara, sympathizing with her feelings of neglect and overshadowed preparations. There might even be debates on social media about whether my mom was stealing the spotlight or if Clara was overreacting. It would definitely stir up drama and opinions among viewers, possibly making it a much-discussed episode.

So, I'm currently in a long distance relationship since several years, and I'm also very happy with my partner. Aside from occasional small conflicts, which I imagine are part of any relationship, there aren't any things that make me unhappy. I love him and we have a very good chemistry, we talk transparently about any issue that comes up, and i can imagine staying with him in the long term. Overall I'd say I'm the happiest I have ever been in a relationship.

Although recently I got a message from my ex-girlfriend after 7 years of silence, which also happens to be my first partner ever, but our past is a bit more complicated. For context, we were an on-off couple, which honestly was because she broke up with me every time she found an issue in our relationship. And I absolutely see that those issues were caused on both sides. Both of us were immature at that time, since we were 17 and 19 when we got together, and with my knowledge from today this was probably her way of coping with problems, removing them from her life or running away instead of facing them. There also was family drama and mental health problems she was struggling with, which made it even harder to talk about issues with her. At some point we had a bigger argument and she blocked me and cut all ties for good, that's when the 7 year gap happened.

So much for the negatives, but we also had a lot of similarities in our personality and interests. I could talk with her like I could with no one else back then, and it often felt like the cliche of "having found a soulmate". I can't say if that was just the experience of being in love for the first time or not, and I certainly don't want to make comparisons with my new partner, since there has been too much time, changes of circumstances and personal development happening in between those two relationships.

So when she reached out to me I was very surprised at first, because I thought I would never hear from her again, and I also was fine with that. She basically said she wanted to find closure, apologized about her mistakes and behavior, and we had a bit of small-talk about our work and stuff. At first I thought "okay, I don't care about this person anymore, I'll accept her apology because I have good faith in everyone and I'm glad she reflected on her personality, so she deserves getting the closure she wants".

However I start to feel more and more unsure about my actual feelings. It's not that I feel in love, but there seems to be this kind of "fascination" (idk how else to put it) when seeing pictures of her, like seeing an old friend and wondering what they have been up to for the last 7 years, and you just want to hang out with them to hear all their stories. The things is that I had those same feelings of fascination when meeting her for the first time, and it's what later then turned into us being together.

This is on my mind all the time ever since we talked again, I'm having fantasies of meeting her again to catch up, and I can't tell if it's because I'm still processing it, or if it's because there might actually be feelings developing again. I'm also really happy for her to have made that step of reflecting on her mistakes, which is why just blocking her and moving on would kind of feel unfair towards her.

This is where things get a bit complicated. My current partner has insecurities when it comes to "being replaced", which I fully get and respect. He also knows we talked and didn't feel great about it, he says he respects my decisions but also made it clear that he feels uneasy with me talking to this person. For this reason I don't consider meeting up with her, or even continuing the conversation. I don't want to do anything that makes my partner feel bad or insecure.

However, I'm also a bit afraid that I might just have suppressed my feelings for her during the pause we had, and by her reaching out these feelings got unlocked again, and that's the reason I'm currently feeling those emotions I'm unsure about. It could also be that I simply feel memories of the feelings I had back then, and perhaps these memories will fade during the next weeks. My current partner doesn't know about these conflicted feelings I have, because I don't want to make him worried or even more insecure, but he knows that she reached out to me and we briefly talked.

So I know the logical solution to this would be "forget her and move on, you're happy with your current partner" or "find out which one you want to be with", but at this point I simply can't tell what those emotions are I have towards her. Friendship? Memories? Suppressed love? I simply don't know what I'm feeling, or how I should react in this situation. How do I find out what I'm actually feeling, and depending on what the result of that is, what is the "right" way to carry on? Maybe some of you have experienced something similar, or you just have an advice for me? Any comment is appreciated :)

Recently I was thinking about what my ten worst experiences of my life would be, because it came up in conversation that a problem I was having with an assignment didn't make the top list, and as I was making the list in my head, I realized that and experience I had didn't even make the list and I felt like I needed to tell someone.

The experience was that I was seriously considering suicide-like searching up what amounts of household chemicals it would take to kill me and considering stealing some of the more toxic ones from my schools science lab- and ended up texting(so no would hear) the 988 suicide hotline. The person I was talking to essentially told me that my problems weren't immediate enough for them to help with, suggested I speak with my therapist instead and offered some very generic advice, at which point I ended the texting. At that point, I was not feeling any better than before I texted the hotline, but I was eventually able to calm myself down and stop planning my death.

This is less about how awful that experience was and more about how I have had ten experiences which were more emotionally distressing than something that bad and there were several others after that that came close. I don't understand what I have done to deserve this much pain and suffering in my life and I don't understand why people have hurt me in the ways they have when there was nothing stopping them from helping me or at least leaving me alone. I hate that I've had so much hurt inflicted upon me that my experience with suicide didn't even make the list of my top ten worst experiences and that people chose to inflict many of these things did so for the petty reasons they did.

Anyways, despite all of this I am currently functioning shockingly well and you wouldn't know all this from meeting me, I just wish I didn't have to be so strong and felt like I should tell someone

Growing up, my life was shaped significantly by my parents' decision to become foster parents. At 34, I can recognize the admiration such a path deserves—they sought to provide a lifeline for children who desperately needed support and a stable home. Yet, through their benevolence toward others, I often found myself sidelined. They branded me as self-sufficient, someone who didn't require as much attention, which in reality meant that I often went unnoticed.

This sense of neglect extended to the smaller joys of childhood, such as gifts. Presents meant for me from my grandparents quickly became communal assets within our bustling foster home. However, my grandparents noticed this imbalance and shifted their approach by giving me experiences instead of tangible gifts. I have fond memories of trips to Disneyland with my paternal grandparents and exciting visits to New York City thanks to my maternal grandparents.

When presented with this solution, my parents attempted to redirect the funds set aside for these trips to household expenses, but I pleaded with my grandparents to keep things as they were. This was one of the few areas of my life where I felt I could retain some sense of personal priority.

By the age of 17, I had already moved out. I completed high school early and entered a trade—thanks to some help from my grandfather, a union member. It's been 17 years since then, and I've constructed a stable life for myself.

My parents, on the other hand, continue to struggle. The physical, emotional, and financial toll of caregiving for foster children has left them worn and in dire straits, despite the subsidies they receive. Recently, they reached out to me for financial help. However, I declined, knowing any assistance might likely be funneled towards the foster children still in their care rather than addressing their own needs.

In response, my mom expressed profound disappointment, lamenting that she expected more from me considering how they raised me. I couldn’t help but retort that from an early age, I largely had to fend for myself. Even my grandparents, who have always been supportive, now find themselves financially drained, partly due to loans given to my parents over the years.

My wife sympathizes with my standpoint but believes that my refusal may be too harsh. Meanwhile, my mom accuses me of harboring childhood resentments, and I’ve ceased communication with my dad, presuming he continues his old habits of repurposing my belongings for the foster kids.

In a hypothetical scenario on a reality show, this dynamic would likely stir a range of reactions from the audience. Some might sympathize with my decision to safeguard my financial stability and recognize my need for independence from a family dynamic that often overlooked my needs. Others might view my actions as vindictive or overly harsh, suggesting that family should support one another regardless of past grievances.

so , yesterday was my so called best friends birthday , and i said hapy birthday and left them to enjoy there birthday , then i saw at 9pm at night them putting not just 1 status but 1 status and about on whatsapp saying i am done with fake people . On seeing this i messaged this person seeing if they where ok and what had gone on and the reply was i am off to bed , night . This seeming bit rude i left them to it and messaged them today again asking what had gone on , the question then still been ignored . so i was like i am trying to care but there not aloowing me too . Then got a 13 min voice note , telling me i have no respect for my self apparently that i wasnt communicating and that i seemed like a lowsy best friend .

Me being like the hell because this person allways thinks about geting her self invovled in my relationship stuff , she doesnt support what i do she doesnt like that i do what i wanna do and no one can change my mind . but if she wants help in her relationship i dont say basically dump him that she had no respect for her self ect. So i told them how i felt and said i wanted space as how upset this person made me feel but also how angry i was and tired of being made out to be the bad guy . its not the first time its happened either . its getting beyond a joke that is how they are being so yeah . i must be someone who has no respect for my self and all that . also while this person saying i am horrible i am on 3 days of migraines do they ask if i am ok nope they say i dont try hard enough

I have toxic family environment so I can't study, they disturb my mental state so I am unable to focus on study and I am stressed if I don't study my future will be spoilt

You don’t really know it’s toxic when you’re a kid. It’s just your normal. You think everyone’s house is like this, that every kid walks on eggshells, trying not to set someone off. That it’s normal to feel your stomach drop when you hear a car pull in the driveway. That it’s just how things are when conversations go from 0 to screaming in seconds. But then you grow up, and you start seeing things differently. You hear your friends talk about their parents, the way they support them, how they actually listen when they have a problem, and it hits you—your childhood was not normal. It was not okay. And suddenly, everything you tried to ignorre, to downplay, to make excuses for, comes rushing back.

One of the biggest signs you grew up in a toxic family? You don’t know how to take a compliment. When someone says something nice about you, your first instinct is to brush it off, to laugh awkwardly, to assume they’re just being polite. Because you spent years being told you weren’t enough. Not smart enough, not good enough, not anything enough. And now, even when you know better, it’s like your brain refuses to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re actually worth something. Instead, you’re always waiting for the but. The insult that follows the rare compliment. "You did well on that test, but don’t get cocky." "You look nice today, but too bad you don’t dress like that all the time." So when someone is genuinely kind to you, you feel uncomfortable. Like it’s a trick. Like love and approval are things you have to earn, not just something you get for existing.

Another sign? You apologize. Constantly. For everything. Even thiings that aren’t your fault. You say sorry when someone bumps into you. You say sorry when you ask a question, when you talk too much, when you take up space. Because growing up, you learned that the smallest mistake could set someone off, that your feelings weren’t valid unless they were convenient for everyone else. So you learned to shrink yourself. To be small. To be invisible. And now, even when no one is mad at you, you still feel like you’re in trouble. Like at any moment, someone’s going to yell, to criticize, to make you feel like a burden. And the worst part? Half the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. It’s just who you are now.

And then there’s trust. Or, well, lack of it. Because when the people who were supposed to protect you, love you, make you feel safe, were the same ones who hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you… how are you supposed to just trust anyone? How are you supposed to believe people mean what they say, that they won’t turn on you the second you let your guard down? You don’t. Instead, you assume everyone has a hidden agenda. That every act of kindness has a cost. That no one stays, not really. And so, you keep your distance. You let people in just enough to not be alone, but never enough that they could actually hurt you. And maybe one day, you’ll learn how to unlearn all of this. How to stop waiting for the worst to happen. How to believe that love doesn’t have to be painful. But right now? Right now, you’re just trying to get through the day without feeling like you’re still stuck in a house you left years ago. 😓

First off, this isn't my own experience... I saw it/heard it while at Blaze Pizza.

I was eating some pizza with my good friend/neighbor. When all of a sudden... My neighbor started chuckling outta the blue. I ask her why she was laughing. She discreetly pointed to a table sorta behind us adjacent.

I then listened in. It was a younger couple around early 20's. I was in High School at the time. But the couples conversation was hilarious!!

Obviously the conversation was more hilarious for me and my companion. But they also seemed like they were on a first date. It definitely seemed like the most awkward date ever!

The dude was going on and on about toilet plumbing!! Something about how to properly make a toilet and the best methods to not clog the toilet! The girl looked like she wanted to be swallowed into a whole, or I guess... She wanted to be flushed down the toilet with how the date she was having was going!

My good friendo ended our meal before we could hear the end of how the date went... So I don't know if they had a second date... But who knows?