Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

yeah,im back again..and well its me and this same boy...

me and him been together for 7 months..and it was secret.

im never allowed to date..yeah...but i did like him alot.even tho i was getting in trouble in process.

its a long distance.we go to diffrent schools...see eachother 1 time a month..for a few days...then its back to me going away...

you see my mum as a place where we go,and his mum has a place...i live w my dad and so does he...so my mum and us goes to her place like once a month.

ok ok...so its been normal..nun really..but recently i go in trouble. thats when my mum almost beat me to death.

i was talking to him in a shop..and that person who owns the shop lied and told my uncle shit about me,well stank up my name.

{the shop owners dad sexually harassed me,so she wanted revenge for her dad}

i know im wrong for going in that shop..but it had something i needed there...where the other places didn't had...so me n my cousin went...then we saw him..we met him in their...our eyes met we laughed and talked...but little did i know i was gonna be in a lot of trouble.]

i did. i did get yelled at when my mum found out i talked to a boy...yet alone went by that shop...i know im wrong...and everyone says shit bout me now..bad person..lair...this that,i hide it ..ok?

yeah so i cried. cried..got frustrated..my aunt kept mocking me about it...but why does she always has to? yes i gets she is looking out for me..its not like im gonna get pregnant...i know what i'm doing...

he knows how my family is...how strict,messy..an yeah i risk it for him....for love.

he makes me feel something i can't feel..he sees the best in me when everyone sees something else...his smile is adorable...-

he makes me giggle,heh-... i love him yeah....but im getting hurt alot in process...im in thin tread...i could get beat to death from my mum...and trust me it almost happened....

i love him alot...but im hurting myself more in process...i don't wanna end it...but i fear to keep it...i love him alot...and its not like everyday we see eachother...again its long distance...so...its-....i dunno...i cry bc im frustrated...mums disappointed...i just need a break...and help...my grandma says i can speak to him,its nothing...i-...i just need...i just want his hugs and kisses...i love him..and i know..well..think that he loves me alot more..<3

man, i dont even kno what to say. like seriously, nothing matters anymore. i wake up, i do what i gotta do, i go to sleep, repeat. its all the same, every day. nuthing exciting, nuthing different, just the same boring ass life over and over. people talk about goals n dreams n all that bs but like, what for?? u work ur ass off just to be tired, just to pay bills, just to end up at the same place. so why even bother. i tried to care, i really did. but caring just make things worse bc u get disapointed, u get hurt, u get stress over things that probly dont even matter in the long run. so i stopped. now i just do what i need to do to get thru the day, nothing more, nothing less.

ppl say oh u just need to find somthing u love but what if i dont love anything. like fr, theres nothing that make me wanna get up in the morning. job? boring. school? waste of time. hobbies?? dont even have those anymore. use to try stuff, sports, music, even stupid things like learning to cook or whatever, but i sucked at all of it so whats the point. why keep trying when u kno u gonna fail. and dont even tell me "just work harder," bc working harder dont mean sh*t if u have no talent in the first place. so yeah, i gave up. not like in a dramatic way, just like, i dont put energy into anything anymore.

i see ppl all excited about stuff, making plans, talking about there future like they actually got things figured out. good for them i guess. but i dont see that happening for me. future just seem like a long ass road of more of the same bs. wake up, work, sleep, repeat. its like life is some game i never wanted to play but im stuck here anyway. so now i just stoped pretending. stoped acting like i care when i really dont. maybe one day somthing will change, maybe not. honestly? dont care either way.

About a year ago, I discovered my boyfriend—who isn’t diagnosed but shows strong signs of narcissism (his father is clinically diagnosed)—was masturbating to photos of his high school classmates and, heartbreakingly, to my best friend. I was devastated, but I ended up forgiving him. I was deep in trauma bonding, and he knew exactly how to manipulate me.

Throughout our relationship, the only thing that ever truly bothered me was his emotional unavailability. Besides that, he felt perfect to me—caring, attentive, and present in ways that made me believe he truly loved me. That illusion stayed intact until I stumbled across those messages in their group chat.

Last week, I caught him again. Same girls. A few new ones. Still my best friend. He’s obsessed with her style—she’s the complete opposite of me: gothic, bold, and conventionally sexy. I’m struggling right now. I feel lost, broken, showing signs of depression, and I’m undergoing lab tests for a possible autoimmune disorder.

Here’s the twist—he has no idea that I know everything. I’ve decided to keep playing the game, feeding his ego because he thrives on admiration. I do everything he wants, all while preparing to shatter his illusion. In a week, I plan to confront him with the full truth. I know he’ll panic and try to chase after me, but I’ll make it clear: if he tries anything manipulative again, I’ll expose everything—his messages, the videos, the disgusting things he and his friends have said about unsuspecting girls—on Facebook and Instagram. When I first caught him I read that his friends were scared that I would also tell their girlfriends but I didn't.

I won’t lie, I still have feelings for him. Part of me still believes he cared, that maybe there were moments of real love in our 2.5-year relationship. But this has to end.

I don’t know—does this make me the villain for planning to call him out like this? I feel stupid even writing this. He wasn’t always bad… but now I can’t unsee the truth.

You know, my friends, I have a hard time feeling comfortable around people. My biggest problem is that they have an extremely limited view of how to treat me, at least with those I've encountered. While I maintain a very sophisticated one with them, due to the fact that I'm always trying to give a response that, first, fits the person and, second, is foreign to their customs and those I'm used to. In itself, it unbalances me when I socialize, and that's what makes me feel the need to be alone.

I'm not interested in maintaining a language specific to a specific group, but rather, I'm interested in a language that allows me to be universal with all groups. I feel it's an interesting challenge because if I stay within a certain language, I'm not aware of what's happening in the group, given that language is there to be embedded and what it entails not distancing oneself in a way that schematizes circumstances. Furthermore, I prejudice what is external and not maintained by a norm among most groups, precisely to protect the stability of my group. Dear all, I feel that solitude precisely allows for openness to all groups, since it allows for observation and the development of responses to the development of boundaries that allow for coexistence between them and oneself. Those who are alone are considered to lack boundaries, and being alone in itself expresses that you lack the tools to socialize for this group, and that they are specifically for this group. For this reason, while there are several groups of this nature, and I haven't encountered any others, there is a diversity of language, and one must respond to it in a way that establishes consequences within the language used for a particular group if it is breached, thereby maintaining the identity of the group for me, as well as for the rest, as well as mine.

There are many people who possess this spirit, given that they insert themselves into such groups and, of course, base their actions on achieving the integration of the individual on an essence of victimhood if they fail, an issue for which one must be prepared. Indeed, then, loneliness itself, as we can see, is problematic for this social instance, and not because of loneliness itself, but because of the consideration of these groups. Loneliness, we can say, explores the thoughts that are generated within the same concrete routes of exploration of the world, precisely to give us ways to continue with this development of ideas, which in itself, I insist, is systematic, given that there is no group that holds ideas that are not such and that are assumed even as dogmas.

I have to say it: Loneliness, in today's world, is undervalued precisely because we have not been taught the ways to manage it. In itself, it has all consisted of remaining at the mercy of a group for the security that this implies, or the prejudice it entails. There is no longer concern for the context, which is what allows for non-violent behavior, and its failure to do so in itself concretizes the oft-discussed distrust among people that we all maintain when we are from different groups. In fact, I've come to view those solitary entities as a simulation of being solitary when in reality they are governed by the rules of a group, which in itself makes them belonging. Indeed, it must be said that we are part of a group when we abide by its rules, not by physical proximity, which doesn't explain those who appear alienated from the group to which they are considered to belong despite joining groups.

I believe that today it is necessary to discuss when we are part of a group, when we are inserted into the dynamics of a group, as well as the awareness of such elements precisely for mobilization among them or precisely their limitation given our ideology, which in itself is difficult, if not impossible, to result in a destructive outcome since it deprives us of support. I do not personally understand this fear conspired in such a way although I believe that it is the result of experiences in which the individual in question and others have not known what to do, which is why they resort to talking about a rough and impossible path to pass when the morphology of said path itself is expressed by the absence of tuned praxis and that precisely determine dark and impassable dimensions, being able to point out, right now that I speak of it, why the journey through such paths represent a terrain of uniqueness for when such characteristics are present in other aspects of life such as nature itself in the absence of human agents as well as certain mythologies, however, this is only to highlight, although I do not seek certainty but the development of ideas, which, its help is always felt, and its denial, it is complicated to help then will always be welcome in any way.

The guy was really nice, but he was definitely playing me, and that scares me. (I made a post a while ago, but the character limit wasn't the same as usual, which is strange.) I don't feel comfortable with him. I don't see a happy future with him in that sense because he was too careful with those details, way too much, and it felt like our relationship was very forced. That's why I don't like him. I don't feel capable of saying no; I just want to be led by his guidance, and I'm tired of being led, especially not on the streets. He thinks I'm a good fit for him, of course, there's that interaction, but I don't want to be involved in that; it's not my style. I also don't want to be part of another group, a family group I ended up in. I'm not interested. The woman was very kind to me, but no. Both she and the other person were kind enough to let me be free, but I'm not interested in going any further. I don't feel like I want to be part of other groups because I have enough with the one I have now, a friend I met at work, my best friend. I have the protection I need and I can navigate my solitude as I please. These other people offer pleasant company and coordinated contact, but it's not what I'm looking for. I like how I am, finding solace in my solitude and allowing spontaneity to be what unites us, what enables our encounters. I want to feel as prepared as possible for each one. With the others, however, I find myself in a comfort zone, and I don't like it. I don't feel capable of doing everything possible to remain reflective, to remain at the mercy of the various pressures that our relationship entails, pressures that allow me to be prepared for diversity. In other words, I love that individuality is a driving force, although I won't deny that as a result, I've felt a strong urge to flee back to normality, to the usual routine. But that's not what's right for me right now, it's not what I want, it's not what makes me reflective. But the encounters themselves do.

I'm grateful that the groups I've been in have been perfect for me—pleasant, friendly, and with the option to return whenever I want, without feeling threatened or anything like that. But I feel good as I am; I enjoy the life I've built, and I definitely don't need to run away from it. That lady, she was very kind to her family, with a warm welcome, a gradual, cautious, and open approach. In contrast, my friend is rather closed off, decisive, pompous with her surroundings, and focused on immediate gratification. It's not easy because there's no support from her environment, not at all. In fact, with my boss, there's absolutely no support from his inner circle for his actions. On the other hand, with the young man, there is support from his circle; everything's cool, everything's fine. But I don't want to be dependent on his environment. I don't want an environment that supports me or that supports them; I want independence from it. I want to create my own environments, not live off something pre-made, as is the case with them. For some reason, I'm afraid that speaking ill of them will cause me problems, that it will make them afraid that I'm on my own. And that's precisely why I decided to act in a way that closes the relationship, addressing those things that do happen, but it's just a temporary thing, not something significant, because I always need to reflect. That's what I like; that's what helps me with the career I envision.

These people turned out to be open, pleasant, and very kind, with an extraordinary and well-deserved openness. But the relationships I've built have come at the cost of hard work, step by step, and that's what keeps me moving forward—not to run away, but to preserve what I have. And in part, I admit, these other people don't want to leave either, to have someone else in their lives. They accept the effort, but it turns out they already have many things to do; they're already used to it, indeed tired, but it's only a temporary situation. It was nice to meet people like me, but no longer alone, but active in the world, within an environment, within a life built on social standards. In other words, there was a way to be myself in those labyrinths. However, there's always the restriction, and that's what justifies me continuing as always: embracing solitude, which doesn't impose reins, doesn't weigh me down, and only to the point where it maintains a great deal of limitation. In both people, I found excesses in the very aspects I adore: the social and the reflective, the individual, well-supported. Yet, I still found them constrained, and that makes me feel limited by them. Their stage is as delicate, in the long run, as that of other people I compare them to—I already mentioned my best friend at the office, but there's also my boss—regarding that openness, which I've always wanted, and the respectful openness that embraces it, that's in tune with the times and in accordance with his way of doing things.

My idea in the world isn't to seek out opposites.

My goal in life isn't to run away from what I have, but rather to appreciate it, and these people have allowed me to do just that. In the end, they helped fill the void left by both my boss and the girl. However, it's not something to take any further, because, let's face it, something perfect at first is hard to maintain, especially in circumstances free from pressure. When pressure arises, you see the same old thing again. They were undoubtedly very attractive, but it's not something to get carried away with at first.

Well, I've been writing for quite some time now, and I'm getting tired of the same old thing. My encounter with these people was perfectly timed; it just so happened that I had finished making my final notes regarding the story that had unfolded between my boss and the girl, my best friend. I hadn't delved into such insights, but this was my opportunity to do so, precisely what I was looking for: a kind of social commentary that would allow me to see what happened with these people from a possible outside perspective, from another window. Before, I relied solely on writings of a still generic, technical nature, without using everyday language. I went straight to the details and not the generalities, and that's what I have now. How tiring! And yet, I feel I can go back to my usual place and nothing will happen to me. I feel safe, without that emotional issue, without that fear that something might happen, which I have to admit I experience with the girl and my boss—that is, at the office. Everything happens at the office; I'm constantly on edge when they're both there. They make me incredibly nervous, and I don't like it. Even if the girl isn't there, the question is when she'll be back, and that's a problem. This is what makes me long for a better world, to seek other people who can give me a break, but that's impossible. That's why I need this distance, because otherwise I'll fall into the trap of abuse, out of habit, and these people will probably leave me, but then conflict will arise.

I never imagined I'd express this level of stress because of them. It's too much, and it's what makes me want to run out of the office, to be unfaithful, because none of them do anything at all to be with me, while these other people do. I'm the one carrying the weight of everything, maintaining harmony, so I don't fall apart. Both my boss and the woman help out, but it's a small thing. The chance for dialogue is nonexistent; I always have to rely on them, not the other way around. I feel overwhelmed, and no one seems to notice, and expressing it would only bring me more problems. The sensitivity of these two people is extraordinary. Of course, we went through a process where everything changed, but they don't take responsibility for that; instead, I'm the one who has to carry the burden. That's what has kept me away from the office all this time—to give myself a break, a rest that goes unacknowledged, because no one sees what I had to do to avoid succumbing to either of them.

Am I the problem? I've been asking that question all day. Every time I feel like I'm helping/trying too or protecting/caring for my friends/people it seems to never work or I cause problems more, more stress and more drama. Sometimes I don't even mean to hurt I'm just trying to fix things

maybe it some weird thing I do but every time I do something I think/Be live is right or helping it doesn't seem to work out and in the end I lose people more or I end up making wounds bigger and deeper. I've lost friendships and relationships to my "mess ups" so I get hated or hurt myself because I don't mean harm, sometimes I can be a lot but really all I want to do is heal and care for people, maybe I'm to "helpful" maybe I "cause the drama" maybe I'm not supposed to help and maybe I'm meant to be something different. I want to be happy and help others find the joy I found but maybe I've got it all wrong maybe people don't need me or want help and maybe I'm trying to fill some void that's been empty for years.

in the posses of "helping" You end up losing more than you "gain" overall...

To anyone who knows me/finds this. I'm so flipping sorry for trying to be something you don't need. I'm sorry for making it worse. you can fight me, hate me, say whatever you want to because clearly I'm meant to have a different story then I thought.

ur thoughts?..

I was employed in management at a bustling resort nestled in a sought-after vacation spot. Our resort regularly hosted weddings, and as part of the planning, the event coordinator typically reserved a block of rooms for the attending guests. It was routine for a manager, like myself, to handle the check-in for the bride and groom. Before their arrival, the coordinator warned me about the bride's demanding nature.

The bride specifically requested a room on the topmost floor, nearest to the shoreline. We accommodated her as much as possible by arranging their stay in the Honeymoon Suite, which was on the third floor with a sweeping view of the ocean. However, this did not satisfy her. She became irate when I informed her that it was the highest and closest room available. At the front desk, she melted down, causing quite a scene as I tried to explain the limitations.

A coworker sensed the escalating situation and went to fetch the event coordinator as the bride lashed out vocally at both me and her fiancé. The poor man was profusely apologetic, trying his best to soothe her. She eventually accepted the room keys, but it wasn't long before she returned, this time demanding that we evacuate the neighboring rooms and those directly beneath hers. Of course, this was impossible as those rooms, priced at $640 per night, were fully occupied.

Fortunately, I was not on shift during their actual wedding night, but the stories reached me by the next day. From verbally abusing the serving staff to ejecting the band for playing a tune she disliked and engaging in a full-blown altercation with her mother-in-law, she seemed to have left a trail of upheaval behind her. Despite the grandeur of their $40,000 wedding, she managed to sour the experience for many.

The groom, aware of the challenging situation, left a box of wine for our front desk staff as a gesture of apology for his bride's behavior. Out of all the challenging brides I've encountered, she certainly took the crown for the most unforgettable.

Imagine if scenes from that day were captured in a reality show. What a spectacle that would have been! Given her dramatic outburtemps, the episode would likely feature me trying to mediate an almost constant stream of complaints and unreasonable demands, peppered with her outbursts resonating through the corridors of our resort.

Now, thinking of such an intense day being part of a reality show really makes me wonder how bizarre and unnervingly entertaining that would appear on screen. Would the viewers sympathize with our team, or would they be enthralled by the bride’s over-the-top drama? I can only imagine the chaos, and somehow, I'm thankful it was just another day at the resort and not an episode for the world to see.

for the last couple of years, i’ve found myself stuck in this cycle—i keep asking myself how can i help? i’m spending 2-3 nights a week volunteering, mostly with food distribution and a bit of crisis helpline support, and while i know these things matter in a broader sense, i can’t shake the feeling that it’s just a drop in an ocean that keeps rising. i log off or pack up at the end of my shift, exhausted, but with this nagging voice in my head: did i really make any difference today?? it’s hard to measure impact when the problems seem to grow faster than the solutions we’re offering. sometimes, it feels like i’m patching up a leak with a bandaid while the whole dam’s about to burst; do you ever feel like that? it’s not like i’m looking for praise or thanks, just… wondering if the hours i give, the energy i pour in, really move the needle at all.

at the helpline, we’re trained to listen without judgment, to offer support and guidance without crossing professional boundaries. i think i’m good at that—keeping my voice steady, offering practical resources, knowing when to gently nudge a caller towards seeking professional help or when to just listen. but when i hang up, there’s this wave of doubt that hits me: what if i missed something important? what if i could’ve done more? the same happens during food distribution; i hand over bags of essentials, smile, say a few words of encouragement, but then i wonder if it’s enough to keep someone afloat, even for a few days. there’s this constant tension between the immediate need in front of me and the bigger, systemic issues that make people need those services in the first place. how do you balance that?

sometimes, after a particularly tough shift, i’ll get home, sit down with a cup of tea, and my mind just races. it’s not always the stories i’ve heard—though those stay with me—it’s more this underlying frustration that keeps bubbling up. i’m so aware of how small my role is in the grand scheme of things, and yet, the emotional toll it takes feels disproportionately heavy. am i doing this for them, or for myself? does volunteering ease my own conscience more than it eases their burdens? that’s a question i keep coming back to, and it’s uncomfortable. 😔 i think most people who volunteer ask themselves this at some point, right? it’s human to want to feel useful, to feel like we’re part of the solution. but when the scale of the problem is so massive, is it arrogant to think i’m making a dent at all?

the people i work alongside are some of the most dedicated, compassionate, and resilient folks i’ve ever met. we share a quiet solidarity, a kind of unspoken understanding that what we’re doing matters, even if we don’t always see the results. we joke, we vent, we lift each other up during tough shifts, but we also carry the weight of knowing that there’s always more to be done. i’ve seen colleagues burn out, step away, because the load became too heavy to bear. and honestly, i’ve felt that pull myself—there are nights when i think about just stopping, just reclaiming those hours for rest or personal time. yet, i keep showing up. not because i think i’m some hero, but because, despite everything, there’s this stubborn hope that maybe, just maybe, tonight’s shift will make a difference for someone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is, i don’t have the answers. i don’t know if what i’m doing is enough, or if it ever will be. but i know that doing nothing isn’t an option i can live with. it’s not about fixing everything—that’s impossible. it’s about doing what i can, with what i have, for as long as i can. still, i wonder: is that enough? does any of this resonate with you? do you ever ask yourself how you can help, and if the help you offer really matters in the end? 🥺 maybe the real question is, how do we keep going when it feels like we’re not getting anywhere?

A few nights back, I invited two of my good friends over for a sleepover. Both are the same age as me, and we planned to end the evening with some classic movie watching and unwinding. As the night drew to a close, and we began removing our makeup, I suggested they explore and use any of the skincare items from my well-stocked bathroom cabinet. I'm a skincare enthusiast and have a wide collection ranging from inexpensive brands to pricier, high-end products.

Shortly after, my friend Emily came out of the bathroom looking uneasy, and confessed she had accidentally dropped and shattered one of my top-shelf skincare bottles. It happened to be my SK II Pitera Essence, which cost me about $134 CAD. It's housed in a delicate glass bottle and was nearly full as I had purchased it just weeks before.

Immediately apologizing, Emily seemed genuinely remorseful. While I reassured her initially, things took a turn when I brought up the expense of the product. Emily was taken aback by the price and when I gingerly asked if she could compensate partly for it, she declined. Her rationale was that it had been an accident and since I had offered the products for use, she didn’t see why she should contribute financially. Since that conversation, there's been an uncomfortable tension lingering between us, and communication has been minimal.

The third friend who was present stayed silent and hasn’t picked a side, preferring to remain neutral.

Reflecting on this, I wonder how different the situation would play out if it were part of a high-drama reality show. Surely, the cameras would amplify every reaction and corner each of us into justifying our viewpoints more fervently. Perhaps in such a scenario, the tension would skyrocket, possibly leading to a dramatic confrontation or emotional reconciliation orchestrated by producers for maximum viewer engagement.

Should I have asked Emily for compensation, or was I being unreasonable given the circumstances? How do folks generally handle mishaps like these among friends?

I appreciate any thoughts or shared experiences on the matter. 😉

I feel ive searching for so long but I can’t find stuff that related to what I’m doing. So I want to create a series, specifically one that each episode will be about 5-7mins long. So how that change stuff? What should I learn? Btw I mean a serialised one, I already have some plots and characters moments in my head. But I can’t find anythingggg. Someone please help.

Also some specific questions-

Is it a bad when stuff happen to a characters than characters making stuff happen? Like does it demnish the plot?

How does a comic series (issues) differ from a tv series (episodes)?

i dunno how much longer i can keep doin this. every day feels like a repeat of the last one, same desk, same fake smiles, same pressure that keeps building and building and no one even talks about it. it’s like everyone at my job is running on fumes, but we all pretend like we're fine, like if we stop even for one sec someone else will take our spot. we're not working to grow or create anymore, we're working to survive. to not get fired. to not be the next one in that “meeting” room where they tell you your position is being "restructured." i see people cryin in their cars before walkin in, people stayin late even when their eyes are red and they got kids waitin at home. and me? i’m no different. i wake up with this knot in my chest every single morning, scared to check my emails, scared my name’ll be the next one called. i work through lunch, i say yes to everything even when i’m drowning. nd still, i feel like i’m not doin enough.

i used to have dreams man, like real ones. i thought i’d work hard, make a name for myself, maybe even lead a team one day. now? now i just dream about sleep. about quiet. about not feelin like i’m gonna snap if one more damn task lands on my plate. i can’t even remember the last time i laughed for real, or felt proud of anything i did. i just feel numb most of the time. or angry. or scared. i don’t talk to my friends anymore, i cancel plans, i ignore calls from my mom cause i don’t got the energy to pretend i'm ok. my brain don’t even shut off at night. i lay there thinking about what i didn’t finish, what i should’ve said in that meeting, whether my manager secretly hates me. nd then the alarm goes off and it starts all over again. i feel like i’m losing pieces of myself every damn day.

the people here... they’re all in survival mode. no one shares real thoughts anymore. everyone smiles but it’s all surface level. we’re competing silently, watching each other like hawks, pretending to be “team players” while lowkey hoping someone else messes up first. it’s toxic but no one says anything, cause no one wants to be seen as the weak one. and i feel like i’m goin crazy cause i can see it for what it is and yet i still show up and play the game. even when my body’s screamin to rest. even when my mind's all foggy. i drink like 3 coffees a day just to function, sometimes i skip meals, and still i get told i need to “show more initiative.” what the hell do they want from me?? blood?? i’m already runnin on empty. they want perfect robots, not humans. but i’m not a robot. i’m tired. i’m burnt out. and i feel like no one cares, like even if i collapsed at my desk, someone would just step over me and take my workload.

i don’t kno how to fix it. i don’t kno if it’s me or the job or the whole system but something’s wrong. i shouldn't feel this broken at my age. i shouldn't be questioning my sanity just cause of work. i don’t wanna be this bitter, exhausted version of myself forever. i miss when life had color, when i didn’t feel like cryin at the sound of another slack notification. i need something to change, but i’m scared. scared to leave cause what if it’s the same somewhere else? scared to speak up cause i might get fired. scared to admit i’m not okay cause that would mean facing how deep this all goes. so i keep goin, one day at a time, pretending i’m holdin it together when really... i feel like i’m losin my mind. and i don’t kno how much longer i can fake it.

My bf has had some troubles since he was very young when it come to sexual pleasure and to self pleasure as well.

We've been together 5 years now and 4 of them were very long distance. It was a bit of a problem even then since his sex drive on long distance was very high while mine not. We have moved now together and we've been living with eachother for almost a year. Our sex life hasn't been very intense but thats bc we both work a lot and fitness-wise we aren't that active. That, we dont mind, we've talked about it and it's enough for both.

But last holidays he went online and started sexting with an other girl including pictures. She was a stranger and he hasnt talked to her (from what i knwo) again. Last week it happened again and it was a different stranger. I know him well enough to know that he truly isnt the type to go and cheat but that self pleasure and sexual urge is very strong sometimes and he doesnt think about it clearly in the moment.

We have of course discussed it and he was the one to let me know later that evening bc he couldn't leep it anymore. It wasnt even that I or he didnt want to have intercourse but I was on my period and we dont do anything in the time of the month.

What hurts more ig is that this time instead of being at work while he did that i was in our office playing online with others and he was in the living room. Somehow that makes it worse? I cant explain it but it hasn't bothered me like this before. Last time i completely brushed it off and even forgot about it bc I understand him.

Idk what to think and how to handle this and i dont have anyone else to talk about it except for him bc he is my best friend as well.

I really love him and its not black and white. I just want to find a way to handle this.

I'm 22, a guy. I've had 5 proper friendships in my life.

First and second one in school, after I moved states. They lasted around 10 years until I got into a relationship. They hated my boyfriend, so I got ghosted and blocked everywhere.

Third was a girl in the city i live in now, after I moved out from my parent's house. We got along until she got more and more toxic. She was 18 at the time, she acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Insulted, bullied and humiliated others. I quit that frie4ndship. She stalked me for 9 months.

Fourth was with an ex of mine, after a year of being apart we got to talk again. He's a nice guy. I adore him, in a very platonic way. He's been ghosting me for 2 months now for no reason.

Last one just broke apart today. A friend of 6 years told me about his struggles. I've been there for him for weeks now since he was feeling bad, but i ran out of tips and tricks. Ran out of solutions, so i simply suggested he'd go back to his therapist, that's what she's there for after all. He ignored me for the day and then started insulting me, calling me names, and much worse. I blocked him.

22 years. and not a single lasting friendship because all people turn out to hate me, ghost me or be toxic. I'm giving up on friendship.

I feel so far behind like, everything is against me. I can't anymore I just want people to listen I want friends a boyfriend or girlfriend who won't undermine how I feel. I just wanna feel like me.

sincerely,

Melody (13 f)

So, I'm a 31-year-old guy working in retail with a lot of women, and they love to gossip. They knew my name, age, and what I looked like before I even introduced myself. There are also many gay men working with us, so their topics aren't really my thing. Plus, most of them are either much older or younger than me, making it tough to start a convo. So, I just keep to myself and work.

One day, a coworker shouted my name across the store and demanded to know why I didn't talk to anyone. I laughed and asked what we would even talk about. I explained the demographic situation and mentioned I'm married, so I don't feel the need to force conversations. She was almost offended but admitted my reasoning made sense. She suggested I say hi more often, and I agreed.

I started greeting people more, but then everyone began avoiding me. They even grouped up for breaks, leaving me to manage the store alone. It was overwhelming. Later, I overheard some coworkers speaking Spanish (which I understand a bit) and they called me mean, aggressive, and judgmental.

So now, I'm back to not saying hi, but the rumors about me are getting worse.

Am I mean? Am I wrong here?

I can't help but wonder, what if this situation was on a reality show? How would people react to my behavior? Would they understand my perspective, or would they side with my coworkers?