Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I kind of miss my ex…so me and him haven’t spoken in a while but last year we where so close and I’m going to tell you the things we did which made me madly in love,so last year I met my ex in maths class and me and him got along well and we met up at his usual hang out spot(his friends house)don’t! Worry other people where there too and it was a safe space and a chill spot me and him got together and we was in the awkward stage for a few hours until he sat next to me and was peer pressured to put his arm around me …year 7 for ya anyways we was sat next to each other and he had his arm around me until all of my friends decided to sit on this tiny ass couch and we all managed to fit on but we had to squeeze on and I was so close to him I couldn’t breathe he was trying to play a game but cuddle me at the same time and he had to wrap his arms round me and play with 2 hands and it was kinda funny but awkward at the same time and they all asked to go to the shops but had no money so I gave them my last bit of birthday money (ten pounds) they said thanks I said don’t spend it all and they surprisingly didn’t the rest spent about 2 pounds each and he only spent 10 pence and I was so grateful he actually acted and I had never ever been in a relationship so close to someone like that so I was kinda shy but the next weekend I had a sleepover and I decided to break up with him idk I was stupid and young so I had no clue what I was doing but we separated for like 3 months but I couldn’t get him off my mind and I told my friend and she was like well let’s message him so she did and he said said he would like to try things again too and I was so happy and inlove and we met up and things like that and we had laughs together and always hugged goodbye until he broke up with me but then he got back together with me because he said he was stupid and we stayed together until we didn’t..we separated again and we became close mates and I decided to go out and met him late at night and we had so much fun together until a big group of boys where chasing me and my other friend and I called him and he was straight there to protect us both with his other mate and we jumped down this thing and I was let behind because I was stung by nettles and no one came looking for me except him and I was too tired to run so he came behind me and walked with me while my other friends ran and we started meeting more often and one time we was hiding behind this corner and he was stood next to me while I was in the corner and I kept looking to my side and each time he was staring at me and we made eye contact I smiled and he smiled back even though he hardly smiles at people I was falling inlove with this boy so much and we kept finding ways back to each other until my bestfriend had enough of me talking to him and she blocked him on my phone and I hadn’t have talked to him in ages I decided to unblock him in secret and we called and talked for ages and now we just don’t speak but I miss him what do I do should I speak to him again or not guys Ibe never been so in love

MY STUPID "FRIEND" IS DEATH STARING ME. HE'S BEEN DEATH STARING ME ALL DAY. IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HE WON'T TALK TO ME HE ALSO HAS TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I KILLED HIS DOG OR SOMETHING. WHAT DID I DO. WHY IS HE DEATH STARING ME.

I recently went on a trip to Europe with one of my best friends. I think the whole experience confirmed that I am meant to be alone. She was critical of everything. We only had a few weeks to plan the trip, but she did not bother to do any research. She asked me what my budget was and I told her about $2,000- she agreed. I tried booking hotels with that in mind. When we get there she starts complaining. First, she complains that it is cold. We went to UK in the middle of winter- so it was going to be cold. She knew this ahead of time. She also insisted on traveling outside the country. Then she complains about the hotel, I booked and said it was small. Then spends the whole time complaining about the cost of everything from food to public transport to shopping. It is one of the most expensive countries for a reason. When I go on vacation, I try to enjoy myself. This includes eating when I want to and thinking about my comfort. She would get upset about spending money on public transport, when we could walk. She also insisted on only having two meals/day to save money. She then confessed that her plan was only to spend $1000 on the whole trip. This pissed me off because she did not mention this before the trip. Then she goes on explaining how she does not have a lot of money to spend, since she just got married. She doesn't mention in this guilt trip, that this year she got married- had two weddings and has gone on multiple trips. She also then starts complaining that the hotel room is small and we could have gotten a better deal at a Hilton. Yeah- like we could afford a Hilton on her budget.

There were definitely fun moments throughout the trip. Yet often everything became about what she wanted to do. I started to feel guilty about the cost of everything. I also shut down when people get confrontational, thus I never pushed back when she started dictating what we do. For example, she is obsessed with creating perfect Instagram selfies. She isn't as bad as some influencers, but a majority of my time was spent being her personal photographer. She would ask, if I wanted a picture, however they were some of the worse photos I've ever seen. She asks for effort, but never reciprocates. My breaking point came when she made a big deal out of me taking the booth seat at a restaurant. She later stated that I always insist on doing that we should alternate who gets the booth. I only really had the booth once. I only sat there because my back was hurting because we walked to every souvenir shop in the city so she could find a deal on gloves, only to get mad when she was unable to barter down to her ideal price. At this point, I realized that we have maybe grown apart or at the very least have different travel styles.

I truly did not get upset until the final night. I was reading and she was on the phone with her husband. She told him how she wished he could have come with us--like wtf! She was the one who insisted on us going on this trip. She said it was "a girls trip." I even asked her, why she and her husband were not taking a trip together after the second wedding (they went on a honeymoon after the first wedding). He was busy with work and could not come. But apparently, she asked him to come with both of us on the UK trip. It just made me feel like a third wheel. This made me realize that friend has no respect for me or my time. I understand, her husband is her choice of travel partner; but in that moment I felt like I'm just the toss in character to her story. The worst part--I started believing it as well. That hurts!

Through this experience, I realized I needed to stand up for myself. I don't have many friends. I was scared of losing- what I thought to be-my only true friendship. I am shy and introverted and have no self-esteem. I also can be detached fueled by fear of rejection. I know these are all reasons it is hard for me to build relationships. I am also scared of being lonely. But, I deserve better than to be a side character in my own life.

Its been awhile, yeah it is. I learned knew things and overcame many problems, i broke up with my now ex boyfriend along time ago

yeah. i took a little break since then, now im dating one off my close friend. Yes i regret it? or do i?....he and i were together before my late ex, and he was obsessive, ...and creepy,...he hurted me 2 times before?...and he said he change but idek....i gave him a chance?, he loves me alot, and idk ....he is a hoe tho...like ...posting girls up on his insta, saying bae...and wanting to fuck his friends?...i dunno whats with my love life..an i dunno what to do.

Eight years ago, after the birth of our twin children, my former partner and I decided to go our separate ways. We had been dating for just over a year when she became pregnant, and although we tried to stay together for the children, it wasn't meant to be. She soon found someone new and yearned to pursue that relationship. Our split, while peaceful, marked the beginning of a challenging co-parenting arrangement.

Initially, co-parenting went smoothly. However, when my ex remarried to a man who was also a single father, the dynamics began to shift. He had a daughter the same age as our twins and insisted that I should treat her as part of my family, expecting me to include her in gift-giving and outings with my own children. This demand complicated our interactions and subsequently led us to adopt a parallel parenting approach to avoid conflicts.

We share custody equally, and neither of us pays child support since we both have the children for equal amounts of time. I maintain a close bond with my twins and, during my allotted time, I focus on them without including the other children from their mother's household. Over time, their family has expanded to include a stepsister, a stepcousin who moved in three years ago, and a younger half-sister, adding more complexity to the family structure. Another child is possibly on the way.

The current disagreement stems from an upcoming class trip in November. The school our children attend is rather small, leading to shared classes between them and their stepsiblings. This trip, to an interactive museum, is quite costly, but I can afford it and my twins are excited to go. I decided to pay for them, but this decision didn't sit well with my ex and her husband. They felt that I should also pay for their stepsiblings' tickets or else let none of the children go. They argued this would avoid any feelings of exclusion and maintain family unity. I disagreed, emphasizing that it was my right and decision during my parenting time. This led to accusations from my ex’s husband that I was undermining their family dynamics and fostering resentment among the kids.

Do you support my decision? What do you think? Am I wrong?

He annoys me so badly, the very first day during orientation I went in late and the only spot open was beside him. He greeted me in an overly friendly way and it really weirded me out because I’ve always been under the impression that he didn’t like me. We were best friends in elementary school, but was so awful. He bullied me and would get our friends to target me to too, he said a lot of bad things about me, and he exposed me and other people to a lot of really bad things as kids which also makes being around him very uncomfortable. Then in high school we never spoke and we weren’t friends, and I remember that he talked about me behind my back. My best friend once told me that while speaking to her and a large group of people that he made fun of me for being autistic and for rocking back and forth and said he’d rather be friends with this one other weird girl who actually did bad things.

After that he kept going out of his way to talk to me and my friend and it was really weird. I decided to just ask him about it and I said “I feel like we’re not on good terms because you were saying bad things about me” then he told me that he hasn’t spoken about me in years and I told him that it was a bit ago, and that I just still feel weird about it. I told him what it was I heard and he asked me who he said it to, I told him a group and he asked who told me, but I told him I didn’t wanna say, it was cause he’s still friends with my friend though. He then apologized and told me that he didn’t remember saying that, but he’s sorry if he did, and that he doesn’t know if he was just having a bad day or what. He did keep apologizing, so it did seem like he meant it. After that he spoke to me a few more times, each was awful. In class we watched the frog in a pot video and the teacher asked us what it meant, first she asked him and he said something about being too stupid to know. Then she called on me and when I answered he just talked out in class about how smart I am, which I just found really weird and kind of embarrassing. Also once when my class was on break, a group of people went outside to smoke. I went to the side near the windows while the rest of my class was out the middle, then he came over to me and asked if I’m allergic people and points out how I’m standing by myself. He also points out how earlier that morning a teacher had offered me help and told me I look confused when I was just waiting outside a classroom. I say yeah, it was weird, then he says “she doesn’t know that’s just your face”.

There’s been other things too, but basically it’s just been stressful. At first I was trying to tolerate him in school so it wouldn’t be weird, but he’s a really hard person to be around, even though it’s brief

helloo!! I haven't used this website before so sorry if my story gets boring or messy. I'm currently in year 12 (11th grade i think) and i feel like none of my hard work will surmount to anything. I got the highest grade in my year for GCSEs (final exams) and my family was rly proud of me. I was actually shocked, i thought i would do average. i did a lot of studying but i wasn't sure whether it was effective enough until then. Although this sounds like good news, i still feel like im not going to get into a good university or anyhting. i do have decent academic skills, but my social skills are simply terrible. im rly awkward, and although i have a couple of rly close friends and a bf, i feel like no one else rly likes me. i don't get bullied, but everyone seems to look at me with disgust or maybe even pity. i feel like im jsut bothering everyone by being in school. tbh, the reason i work so hard in school is not just for other ppl's approval, but because i just want to make up for how boring and quiet i am. maybe then i can get a job when im older, but atm it seems unlikely. i can barely hold a conversation, and when i get overwhelmed/stressed in school my face tenses up and i look rly pissed off/sad when im not. no one wants to hire that. plus, it feels like not many ppl even care abt my grades. although the headmaster said i got the highest grades, he gave the "highest grades" awards to two other ppl who are more popular than me. i guess it shows not even the school wants me on stage in front of people. i do sound abt too whiny, i know: i do still feel as if the work i put in will be worth it in the end. but i cant stand how i act in school, i jsut feel like i cant help it. it sounds dramatic, but it feels like my mouth literally sews shut in front of other ppl. how do i fix this?? i just want to stop being so miserable and jealous of others. i dont need to make new friends, i just wish i was approachable anough for ppl to talk to me. sorry, i know its very difficult to respond to soemthing like this. i just wanted to vent mostly. thank u for reading x

So my parent was really strict before and barely let me do anything, but I started to have a lot of anxiety and just by making the smallest mistake I would start having a panic attack because I was so scared of failure and not being enough that it got dangerous and even developed into a phobia. My parent got really mad at me for always messing up because of my severe anxiety and manic depression from their expectations being too high. They called me 'ungrateful' and always using my mental health as 'excuses' just to get things. I tried to explain why I act like this, but they were having none of it. I just stopped trying to explain myself and just told them what's really happening in my head and body, but they just said it was another one of my excuses to get something,but I was just trying to tell them that they needed to start following the accommodations my safety plan says and they just waved me off, gave me one of my devices and started ignoring me for days.

I've been very frustrated with myself as of late. I've been in a position where I have been forced to give promises to other people that I can be better. I don't like lying to people and being dishonest so it's been really hard for me to try and be something I feel like I can't promise myself to be. Don't get me wrong I do want to be a better person and have been trying to be better. I have put efforts to fixing my flaws but they have all been in vain. For example, let's say I have a deadline, i force myself to wake up early in the morning so i can try to get things done and have more time for myself but I cannot bring myself to get on my laptop and do the actual thing. It's really frustrating because I can't bring my body to do the things I need to get done. I don't particularly enjoy what I study but I have a passion to be decent at whatever I am doing. Things are not going well for me and to a level, I'm really lost on what I can do for things to change. Ideally, I take a gap year or whatever and get to rethink everything but I feel not entitled that privilege of being able to slow down. In a sense, I feel like even if I take charge for myself nothing about my situation will change. I think I've let go of the hope that kept me going and just letting life take me where i deserve to be.

Me (13) and my brother (11) had an argument. Maybe it's my fault. But let me explain. I just told him I found Hindi overwhelming, and he said his isn't that easy either so I should also know, but I do and I was gonna explain to him how hard mine is. Then I was shooing away a fly, and this is one of the many things about me I hate, it's that I really don't like flies and their sound and all that and makes me go nuts. So in the lift, he asked me why I hated and overreacted to flies so much, I didn't wanna talk about it and I thought we were going off-topic, but he then said he didn't care angrily. Then we started arguing that he should leave me, then he said he shouldn't even when I COULD potentially become the worst sister ever, he never listened to dad saying to LEAVE family members who hurt you on a visceral level, and I feel as if I did. Next thing you know, he says it's OKAY for Indian families to have lots of beatings, even though OUR PARENTS don't like it and now they rarely do it and feel great remorse when doing it (my dad even admits when he has flaws and he gets somewhat better at handling them), while I'm "glamorizing" an "American movie idea". Then we started arguing about how even though he has many friends he doesn't know that if friends don't wanna speak about something they shouldn't pressure them to, he said I don't even have friends, and we did name-calling and swearing, and in another lift alone together, he called me psychopath, I called him child murderer and pedophile, and at home now, he treats me like I'm a stupid crazy hysteric lady on an 8 ft restraining order. It's my fault this happened. It's my fault for not calmly telling him he's going very off-topic. See? Failure on my part. Failure never equals improvement.

Man, why doesn't he get it? I know I have no friends, but why doesn't he get it? Why doesn't he know with 6 friends, if they don't wanna talk about something, no matter how stupid, you don't! One thing I learnt when I overshare my interests with people NOT interested! Not everyone wants to speak about gemstones! But, maybe that's why I don't have friends.

We spoke to mom, I explained this to her, he said he wanted to stay away from me since I've gone crazy, she sounded exhausted on the phone, and right now, I hate myself. I feel like an abusive sister. My brother will assume these things for life, he's done this for a long time. Mom came, and she spoke to us that we shouldn't call each other names OR ELSE, and that if the argument or conversation goes in a nasty direction, either one of us stays quiet. I asked her what if my brother will think I'm weak or I can't clap back at him, and mom said she does this with dad to avoid getting nasty if things go south, and she said I shouldn't think for others. The reason I hate it when people say that is because it is my job to think what others think, otherwise I'm gonna grow up to be a criminal. She even told me I'm not abusive. I am, considering I called him nasty things and after some time, he acted like nothing happened.

Why doesn't he know it yet? That if I don't wanna speak about flies since I find my disgust and overwhelm stupid, why was he pushing me? My fear is stupid. Even though their sound drives me nuts and makes me feel like vomiting or peeing, it's stupid. He even got very off-topic when he kept asking me that, when we were talking about Hindi studies. Dude, even dad tells you not to go astray, yet because he isn't here for now, he didn't do it. And when I asked my brother, he really had no idea what he did could've been a sign he's not really a friend-friend, even though him and friends have no seriousness at all. My dad's right, he really cannot think AT ALL, only cook up smart answers and score good marks, and even he failed months ago in most of his tests! Guy really can't think about anything, what food he wants (actually, he can't adjust to what foods adults don't wanna give him and he is very stubborn and whiny), motor functions (his writing makes even doctors confused) because bro's only good at piano but not anything else involving his hands, he can't understand social nuance in that sense, and somehow, even with 6 FRIENDS, he doesn't know that lesson of "Not to Push People Into Talking About Uncomfortable Things is Wrong and Weird" yet! Bro really has the thinking capacity of a potato. He sounds smart and looks cute, but really he's not that impressive. Sure he's good at piano, but actually using his hands is like expecting a Snorlax to do a backflip. Another thing is, he can actually make me think I'm the big issue, until someone like my parents snaps me out of it and shows that what he also did wasn't great either. Homie cannot think at all.

When other kids elsewhere probably fantasize about this longer than I do, I think about this for a bit, before I start panicking about every worst case scenario. This is why relationships...in general, are a risk. They're painful, bad, and they're not a thing I NEED to live in this world, they're just a liability. Like, I feel like an adult next to these buffoons in school! They can't see the risks, the pains, the agonies, they can't see all those dirt under the nice leopard-print carpet! And you know what, I can handle being alone with no one! They're a liability and risk anyways. Being tough and ROUGH is the way to go! I'm not soft, and I'm not gonna be vulnerable with anyone! No matter how much I want it, it's a sin on my part! It's like wanting drugs as a teen, it may smell good but it's bad for you! Aren't there any perks to not showing your vulnerability? it helps maintain your composure, you don't make things awkward or dangerous at work, it can make you look really stoic and composed and leader-like, and it makes you focus more on yourself and learn self-work by your SELF. See? You may say hiding vulnerabilities is bad, but ugh, when some movie characters do that, bam! Trusted the wrong person! Look at Elphaba and Madame Morrible with the Wizard of Oz, they were shams who couldn't read the magic book nor make magic, only for Oz! And she for her whole life wanted to be like him, but he's a useless man! Even I tried remembering the Wizard was a farsi, before the movie confirmed it again, because he looked suspicious!

I can be safe even from the "nicest" people. I was only BARELY ALIVE when I trusted mom so much to tell her things like "If I got Rem for Diwali, more fireworks would've sparked in the bedroom!" and she didn't react at all or I actually listened when she said she wanted to be my confidant and she didn't maybe shame me, but who knows? Maybe that's her way of being judgy. Still, just now, I wanted to hang out with a neighbor, but her friend came and they had some school project so I was essentially the weirdo stranger from downstairs. She may say we can play tomorrow, but because of my gut, I don't trust her. I don't trust anyone, so, I'm giving equality to people. I even don't trust mom when she says if I don't trust anyone, I'll be miserable. I wasn't crying when I got home, I just said to myself, "You had a weird gut feeling, and you were right!" I just felt more gray than blue. Plus, in Indian airports, considering how dumb the country can be, whenever I see guard dogs bark and play with the security for a bit, and the security is armed, I think they're fools. My grayness isn't depression, it's realization of truth. I'll just be NATE JACOBS, minus the abuse and power play. Come on, as dumb as people can be, why go out of my way to hurt them? I mean, look what happened. I kept cool, prioritized her, and left! I'm mature because I didn't cry nor feel sad, I just felt like, "Good I considered this." Same thing goes for when some people from school wave in the front. I don't think they're waving at me, I've seen this trope in movies too many times to not be fooled, and I'm right. They wave at their friends. I'm mature than them, right? Right?? I'm predicting the worst so I don't end up in bad situations. Like, she said she was being mean by asking me to leave, when I was being mean! I came to her house when her friend was meant to arrive only 10 minutes after me, and I was really quiet when her friend came. So yeah, me even being here and existing is mean, because I bet I smelled or didn't look good that time! She's 10 and I'm 13, so it's weird!

In fact, I should stop hanging out with her. Or anyone. I should stop making plans for anyone, and if anyone invites me, I won't come. Wanna know my mature reason? One time, a friend of mine wanted to let us visit in some mall, and because of stuff and a party she had before, we never went. Not only that, she's now bigger buddies with another girl. Good for her, foolish of me to even accept it. I don't know why for a while I cried about wanting one friend, if this also a big unnecessary risk. I won't hang out with that neighbor again, because well, this is what'll happen. Same thing goes if I dare, DARE, fall in love and date someone at 16, and then break up and call it worth it, god forbid. I fail to understand how movies, and REAL PEOPLE, say it's worth it. If it was, why else did you guys leave? I'm being like Kat from Euphoria, she's cynical and learnt from movies that to be cynical is empowering. I need to shove and stop this feeling. I'm shameful to assume friends are important. I can live like the great Syd Barrett, who managed. He only died from pancreatic cancer. Relationships hurt me, even friends! I've been abandoned, because it was my fault! It hurts! So I'll reject it. It only causes pain. That kinda love is...scary. Why do they say it was worth it if it all broke up then? It never clicked with me. If I were in that, I would cried, moved on, and chosen the life of a celibate permanently because...this is the result of even trying. As much as I'd hate to say this, but...I'm scared. Like, genuinely, really, really scared. Oscar said the same thing to Alex in the book RWRB, he loves Ellen and even though they divorced they don't regret it. Well, I would a lot. If I knew the instability, even the smallest signs, I'd leave before it'll get worse. See? I'm asexual! I may fantasize about love and snuggling, but it's all a dumb thing! Hah, dad was right. I had a crush for a girl, I never confessed to her because as young as 11 I know how unstable they were at this age in "the real world". Then at 12 I wanted to be a great friend, we had the mall plan, it never happened, and now she's with another close friend. I tried messaging her but she never responded, so naturally, I deleted and she never noticed. Right now in school, I lost my desire to even have a class crush a year ago, so whenever they joke about crushes, I behave like this. It's like when a person sees a puppy, you laugh and go, "Awww!" If I saw the puppy, I'd be scared a bit and go, "Oh, a puppy. It's fine." I'm asexual because I'm mature. I'm asexual because humans are garbage.

But with everything that happened, it won't get better. It won't. It's just that I learnt to be a warrior early, at 11. Now it's time to be a soldier, then general. My dad even said a good point, maybe he's right this time. Him and mom being together because they were in a long situation-ship in college and early careers before marrying and still being together for 16 years, is pure luck because "most of the time it doesn't happen". He's right. Maybe I can never find a love unless I arrange or work "somewhere", if you know what I mean. Mom's wrong to say maybe I can meet people "like me", when I'm older, because mom has a mini-friend who's 8 years younger than her and even though they work in different companies now, they somehow make some small time. But, it's a farce! Mom doesn't even meet her most of the time, college I heard is a crap experience, work I heard from dad everyone are losers or idiots or very competitive, the Internet is weird, and even then, humans are garbage. This is the only time dad's right! I'm more embarrassed I thought I'd have one friend when I was 11. I'll never be ashamed by my SUPER SQUID DEFENSE SYSTEM. I'm not alone, I'm an adult at 13! I'm a warrior squid, an eel who bites before anything bites her! I'm better than my classmates! I'm smarter than them, and I can't be hurt easily if anyone leaves anymore! In fact, I can leave them if I detect an OUNCE of instability. I'm a diamond, unbreakable, and I can work under societal pressure. Trust no one, listen to the rules to be safe from people, and never fight back or else you're a "snitch". My brother said one of the reasons I don't have a friend is because I'm a snitch. Like a squid I can squeeze out of bad stuff, like an eel I can bite back, and like I diamond, I can never ever be scratched or dented!

This is gonna sound fucking dumb but I sometimes go online to make friends, people to chill out and... goon with. Its been something I do for years but you never get anyone truly long term, its all short term or you get ghosted. You get used to it. I recently met someone who was real good though. This person who would like all the same things I liked, we vibed well, we talked well. We'd talk all night sometimes. We found out we lived in the same state and might consider doing limited friendly things in the future. Now he blocked me. He blocked me because it turned out he'd rather goon with others and didnt actually care about me. I basically tricked myself really believing this person was different, they were special. Everything lined up, I mean everything lined up. I gave them a little bit of pushback, because they blew me off to hang with others this one time. At first I wasn't bothered by it but then they started to avoid me. I tried talking it out like adults, and they did talk with me. But after that they just fucking cut me out. I thought I did a good thing trying to speak my mind, not at all harshly or angry. Civil, no anger, not yelling, just a clean and honest talk. We established in our friendship to be open and honest. And yet I am rewarded with being dismissed once again proving my point all along. I don't want to be proven right, I wish I was wrong. I thought I made a good friend and I wish I did, over some dumb fucking gooning. Its so stupid. How, or where am I supposed to vent about that? I can't talk about something like that with anyone personally. Its... fucked up. I hate this, and I don't even think this site or whatever the fuck was even a good idea. But fuck it we ball I guess. Ugh. I should quit this stupid shit entirely.

I'm genuinely so glad that I started to get into art. I was making a new piece everyday, but with my mental health decline, I got burnt out. Same thing with mancala. But as of late, I have been making new art pieces and playing mancala again. I'm really happy with myself for making time for the things I enjoy most :)

I have this friend, Carly, who’s 23 and we've been tight ever since our freshman days back in high school. She’s been chasing her musical dreams in LA lately. Carly always had a knack for writing; she even got her degree from a reputable private liberal arts college in California, majoring in Creative Writing. Most of us who know her well were betting she’d go into songwriting. However, Carly decided to take on singing instead. She's already dropped three singles and has an album in the pipeline, but honestly, they're just not good. Her vocal timbre really doesn’t cut it—it’s rather flat and nasal, plus she has this odd way of modulating her pitch. Watching her perform live is even more of a struggle. The crowd of friends she's made in LA keep cheering her on, telling her she’s phenomenal. I’m just worried about how far their praises will carry her before someone in the business pulls the plug and tells her straight up, “you can’t sing.”

What worries me more is thinking what if she ever ended up on one of those reality singing shows? Like, imagine her getting up there with that same supportive crowd, only to face the harsh critiques from seasoned judges in front of a national audience. Could you just imagine the humiliation? It’s hard enough seeing her wade through local gigs, but that level of exposure and raw feedback could really break her.

How does one deal with this? Is it kinder to let her keep dreaming while everyone around nods and smiles, or would a true friend intervene before the reality becomes too painful? Waiting it out seems like watching a ticking time bomb. Is sitting back really the answer?

man, i dont even kno what to say. like seriously, nothing matters anymore. i wake up, i do what i gotta do, i go to sleep, repeat. its all the same, every day. nuthing exciting, nuthing different, just the same boring ass life over and over. people talk about goals n dreams n all that bs but like, what for?? u work ur ass off just to be tired, just to pay bills, just to end up at the same place. so why even bother. i tried to care, i really did. but caring just make things worse bc u get disapointed, u get hurt, u get stress over things that probly dont even matter in the long run. so i stopped. now i just do what i need to do to get thru the day, nothing more, nothing less.

ppl say oh u just need to find somthing u love but what if i dont love anything. like fr, theres nothing that make me wanna get up in the morning. job? boring. school? waste of time. hobbies?? dont even have those anymore. use to try stuff, sports, music, even stupid things like learning to cook or whatever, but i sucked at all of it so whats the point. why keep trying when u kno u gonna fail. and dont even tell me "just work harder," bc working harder dont mean sh*t if u have no talent in the first place. so yeah, i gave up. not like in a dramatic way, just like, i dont put energy into anything anymore.

i see ppl all excited about stuff, making plans, talking about there future like they actually got things figured out. good for them i guess. but i dont see that happening for me. future just seem like a long ass road of more of the same bs. wake up, work, sleep, repeat. its like life is some game i never wanted to play but im stuck here anyway. so now i just stoped pretending. stoped acting like i care when i really dont. maybe one day somthing will change, maybe not. honestly? dont care either way.