Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I'm really struggling in school right now. Everything is a group project for every single subject and it makes me want to cry as my anxiety gets cranked to 100 each day, and no one wants to work with me because I'm the weird girl, it's so humiliating. I can't catch a break either as teachers aren't sympathetic to my struggles at all, I know they can help but they don't... I just want to get this over with but I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever finish my career and we're only 3 months into the first year out of four. I wish someone would help me out, I wish I could focus more, and I wish I could have it easy for once in my life. Even getting to this point was so damn hard for me, can't I just enjoy my life? Everyone else seems to be doing fine. I want to be like them.

Soooo

Is it wrong?

Especially if it’s not the first?

So I’ve been hearing my spouses iPad notifications go off while sleeping and it’s like a nonstop kind of ding ding ding ding 🛎️ . So I wake up look 👀 and see texts going back and forth with multiple ppl (different texts) and then that’s when I notice a females name….. so for some reason I felt the need to check it…. I do and I notice it’s someone who he works with and I see that there’s some inappropriate messages——-my heart drops——-my breathing tends to 😮‍💨 and my mind is going wild it’s telling me to check his other messages and so I do and I see another female name….so I click on it and I see some stuff and I decide to go check if he has any deleted messages and lo and behold yes y’all he does——-the horns comes out😒👿 the hurt starts building and im thinking like but why what was the reason…

And guess what he’s on his way home sooo now I’m fuming and I’m hurt. My heart is telling me to let it go, don’t let him know I know but my mind is telling me to confront him to get it off my shoulders because it’s heavy yall. Boom I hear him coming in the door …..he says hi babe I say hi I have his iPad idk if he noticed it but I walk to the bathroom with it….. he changes whatnot and lays down to get some rest and I’m fuming with hurt 😔 I’m trying to hold it all in but I can’t! I walk into the bedroom he’s knocked out on the bed and I slap him in his face 😱 the look on his face was like wtf 😣 like he was lost for a moment. I’m so mad I started going at him, yelling, asking wtf is this!? And all sorts is going on. Eventually he sits up wacks his iPad kind of wacks my stomach and starts yelling idk and wtf and all sorts but I was so hurt I started texting and calling these women. And next you know it my bbys comes out and tells me mommy daddy’s leaving he said he’ll be back later.

Y’all I was so mad because this ain’t the first but I felt like I said what I felt and I felt a little peace like I was over it. Over the Hurt, over the lies and the dishonesty and disrespect because not once have I ever done what he’s done to me (13 years).

So boom he leaves…. I’m taking care the kids and there all sick mind you.

We start to texting each other and I’m going at it and then I call and I’m trying to get my point across and he’s not hearing it and giving all kinds of excuses…..then wham he starts getting angry and then starts putting blame on me.

I’m so hurt yall 😭

Why do they do that?

They know it’s wrong or they know you don’t like it and said they wouldn’t again but here we are round 2 like wtf.

Why give up 13 years for some kind of form of lust or some kind of excitement?

What do you get out of it?

Like you asked and did y’all? Or she said this so did you or do you?

And why is it when we say what if we do it to them they wouldn’t like it….then he’ll say I wouldn’t care….

Like wtf

Why hurt the person you say you love?

Why be with me so long just to do this?

And I already have low self esteem/self confidence

So it’s like wtf😔

I mean I could see if I’ve been unfaithful then yeah go right ahead but I’ve never not once.

Ugh 😑 😣 I hate this feeling

Then our bbys ends up asking when’s daddy coming home or starts to cry and ugh I know the feeling because inside I’m doing the same thing like hello I’m here 👋

I know I’ve changed but he’s changed also…. And even with marriage it makes me wonder and doubt if I should because what will happen if I do.

Why hurt a good woman?

Why do something to someone who treats you like a king and would do anything for like wtf.

Supposedly they never did anything it’s just texts and supposedly jokes.

But I’m not with the jokes

Here is the Google Doc for the whisper. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HD_6uIuAvSYwy_zKGEj7rWaRgJnT5bxgMv-pJcE-Qsw/edit?tab=t.0

Anyways, longer version.

what if I gain a lot of weight in only a few months, because many people say at this age, you change weight drastically. What if I go from 45 to 60kg in only a few months, while I still stay 5'4"? I'd look chubbier since I'm not very tall. What if from February to 25th April, I can't fit in a tank top I probably bought somewhere during April itself for Joseph? Or my jeans won't fit? One cosplayer said she took 3 months to make an outfit, and when she wore it on 5th month to an event, she couldn't fit and she had to re-sew the thing and she felt bad because she got late. What if I go from my perfect beanstalk self to looking like a middle aged at only 14, because my fat got fatter? No woman likes being old, they all say that in their memoirs because they're fat, they got menopause, and they're weaker! How come my mom seems so chill at 44, she literally grows tiny but dark chin hairs which I have to pluck! I'll gain 20kg in only 2 months! They said drastic change, so it's drastic! I may eat the same, but if I eat slightly more, I'll get fat. Puberty hits people hard, and trust me, I've heard some women say they go from skinny to very curvy somehow. I don't wanna get fat, especially if the tank-top I'll buy or jeans I already own are stretchy or fit me just fine, and if they don't I'll feel bad because I'm buying extra when the wig and boots would be the most expensive parts already. Plus, imagine I go from S to L sized from the same food I eat, maybe I should stop snacking or eating so fast. 2 months can do stuff, maybe! What if I balloon from my already normal 45kg, which I don't feel bad about because that weight as of now is fine for me. What if I suddenly get hungrier in one month and start eating more, until I store fat instead of whatever other important nutrients? My dad may say if I eat a lot and fast it's good because my body needs to grow, but I don't care, the older you get, the slower metabolism is, so I'll end up 60kg in 2.5 months only. 2 months may be too early. What if I can't even fit the dress anymore, with my own clothes. I haven't fluctuated too much now, but what if I get some random hormonal issue that causes me to gain weight faster at 14?? My mom already grows small darker chin hairs because she's 44, and maybe she has PCOS, even when she tells me no like I asked something weird. She could be lying. Plus, what if my makeup looks bad on my face? I've seen kid cosplayers not even be able to put that because their parents didn't allow, and when they grew up with makeup they mock their younger selves for it. My mom may buy me eyeliner for the face lines and maybe an eyebrow brush to thicken my brows to resemble Joseph, but on one hand I'm cosplaying a guy as a girl, I may look ugly and too angry because of the eyebrows being too weird, the face lines may look ugly even if I concealed my face with the usual stuff, I don't have contact lenses so what if I look weird with my dark brown eyes, and I have braces so it's even worse and what if the wig also looks weird when I style it with hairspray and comb and how do I maintain it? I'm gonna regret going when I'm gonna become 25, I know it! At 25, you HATE when you were a kid, even if you had fun, because fun doesn't cover up bad embarrassment.

for context im man, now, i remember used to going out with my friend to places alot, and he would often bring his mother, to me something was clear she liked me for my presence, i was never a spare money or a thing for using out there, nothing like that, i didnt even speak too much, but still very inviting and would pay for me watch movies with them both, i tried give back and was told no dont worry u keep money, i have not even a real known personality or anything interesting, infact i should seriously get my shit together and not think about girls, but still, very accomodating, as if its for no reason, and i found that super hot (i never disclosed that to anyone, cuz friends mom its weird, and this time im doing it anonymous), what type is this, i surely wont encounter another one of these types, too rare, im surprised this was her behavior, atleast not for no reason, what was going on there

my friend called me to tell me about something horrible that has happened to her and we just hang up but i’m just so devastated im actually so sick to my stomach I tried my best to listen to everything she had to say, and tried to make her feel better somehow but im just so upset for her im just so disgusted upset and I don’t know what to do im so mad im so angry. I actually feel sick. what’s irritating me the most is the fact that we’re not in the same city, I can’t just drop everything and hug her and be there for her.

My life is a mess.

I don't feel like I deserve calling it that way since a lot of people would point out that I don't match the criteria to complain.

Since when do I need to ask for permission to feel miserable? So, here I am, complaining somewhere that I won't feel judged.

Well, as I mentioned, my life is not exactly ideal.

I am studying to be a doctor. This is the root of my misery.

I was a very artistic, introspective child that had a clear inclination towards math and physics and still am. I loved physics, I was also good at it. On the other hand I always hated biology, I found it uninteresting.

I wanted to become an architect but my father wanted me to become a doctor. He didn't exactly force me, but I couldn't disappoint him, he is the person that I love the most in this world. I wanted to be an architect like him, we could work together and continue his firm.

I started studying for med school, I couldn't believe it that I was actually doing it. I always screamed that I would never become a doctor and well, there I was fighting hard for something I never wanted.

I didn't get in. I felt devastated. I got into another university , a nice one, but it wasn't med school. I considered that my happiness required med school which is a dumb thought as I later realised.

I tried again. I did it to prove myself that I have freedom. I won't submit to my fear, my exhaustion.

I got in but I felt miserable. I was happy my effort paid off but I lost a year of my life, my teenage years and my dreams.

The first months into med school I seemed to be doing great. I had friends, I was doing good at uni, I was partying, I was dating someone. Internally I was crying. My father realised it, the only one who finally saw it, and told me that he shouldn't have pressured me ever and that it is never late to just do whatever I want for once.

I won't abandon med school, it is kind of late. Maybe after it I can study something I actually like. It isn't exactly that I hate it, but I feel like I killed that young child that had hopes and dreams in its eyes. This is what I did! I betrayed myself for nothing. I may have compromised in my life but that's enough. I can't live like this anymore, no.

I miss my old ones. The only person I cared about left me and now I have an exam period threatening me. I couldn't focus this semester since I was mourning my failed relationship and my life in general. I feel so alone and misunderstood. Most of my connections here seem shallow and I don't want to make the ones I trust worried about me.

You get one life and I decided to live it that way, a way that didn't fit me, I already knew it, I way that doesn't include the people I love.

My dad’s 66th birthdayy is tomorrow and my siblings and I (4 total) were planning to go out to dinner with him tonight to celebrate. Growing up, we never went out to restaurant or even got take out. Once we hit our teens we didn’t even eat at the dinner table together or at the same time. Now we’re all grown, with me being the youngest (30) and we’re trying to do things together that we never did such as a family dinner.

My dad is notorious for catching an attitude leading up to a holiday or occasion. I’m talking birthdays, Christmas, ground hogs day, the last day to do taxes. If it’s in a calendar, he automatically catches a mood at least two days prior to the day and holds it.

Somehow I was placed in charge of arranging this dinner and I was told to invite my oldest brother (my mother’s first born) and his wife to the dinner. This was done prior to the attitude. Yesterday, I get the message from my sister that he’s In a mood and going on a mumbling rant about whatever and I would most likely want to cancel dinner. I didn’t, I held out to figure out what was going on.

Now here we are todayy, there’s animosity in the air, he locked up in a room all day not speaking to anyone. So I have to text my oldest brother that we’re cancelling. — But seriously. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to tell my brother that we can’t have dinner because my dad doesn’t know how to act. Should we have gone without him??

It's been five long years since that fateful day when my entire world was turned upside down. I vividly recall sitting on the couch, mindlessly flipping through channels, when an unexpected call shattered the fragile sense of calm. My best friend, the one I confided in and celebrated countless milestones with, had crossed the ultimate line—he stole my wife. I was blindsided, left grappling with a whirlwind of emotions—betrayal, anger, and profound sadness. Now, out of the blue, he’s reaching out, claiming he misses our friendship. As I contemplate this peculiar situation, I find myself wrestling with the fundamental question: how does one forgive someone for such a monumental transgression? 🤔

The wounds inflicted by that betrayal run deep, making it difficult for me to even entertain the notion of rekindling any semblance of a relationship. A close friend once told me, “Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you.” This thought lingers in my mind as I resist the urge to react impulsively. Is forgiveness synonymous with condoning his actions? I often wonder if I am ready to welcome that kind of emotional vulnerability back into my life. Perhaps he truly has had a change of heart, and yet that doesn’t erase the pain of lost trust and shattered expectations. I also reflect on the impact this could have on my personal development. After all, holding onto bitterness can be like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Yet, will I be strong enough to let go?

Admittedly, the idea of forgiveness is a double-edged sword, tantalizing yet terrifying. I can’t help but ponder the concept of second chances. Are we not all human, prone to error? If I were to grant my friend the opportunity to explain himself, would I be unearthing potential for closure or merely reopening old wounds? I sit here, weighing the delicate balance between self-preservation and compassion. Ultimately, I want to be optimistic—perhaps this is a moment to reflect on personal growth. Could this be the pivotal moment that propels me towards healing? Ultimately, I aim to navigate these turbulent waters with an open heart. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you manage to forgive someone who caused you immense pain?

I never thought I’d feel this way, but here I am, completely heartbroken. It’s been two weeks since she ended things, and it still feels unreal. We were together for almost four years, and I honestly thought she was the one. We had so many plans—talking about moving in, maybe even getting married someday. But now, all of that is just... gone.

She said she needed "space" and that she wasn’t happy anymore, but she never really explained why. I’ve been replaying every moment in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong. Did I not show her enough love? Was I too much? Or maybe she just fell out of love with me, and there’s nothing I could have done. I guess I’ll never know.

The worst part is all the little reminders of her everywhere. The playlist she made me still comes on sometimes, and I can’t bring myself to delete it. Her favorite coffee mug is still in my kitchen, and I haven’t had the courage to move it. It’s like everything in my life right now is just one big reminder that she’s not here anymore.

My friends tell me it’ll get better with time, but honestly, I don’t see how. How do you move on from someone who was such a huge part of your life? I’m trying to keep myself busy—going to the gym, meeting up with people—but it all just feels so empty.

I hate feeling this way, but I don’t even know where to start. Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you stop feeling so heartbroken when the person you love is gone? I just want to feel normal again. 😥

He annoys me so badly, the very first day during orientation I went in late and the only spot open was beside him. He greeted me in an overly friendly way and it really weirded me out because I’ve always been under the impression that he didn’t like me. We were best friends in elementary school, but was so awful. He bullied me and would get our friends to target me to too, he said a lot of bad things about me, and he exposed me and other people to a lot of really bad things as kids which also makes being around him very uncomfortable. Then in high school we never spoke and we weren’t friends, and I remember that he talked about me behind my back. My best friend once told me that while speaking to her and a large group of people that he made fun of me for being autistic and for rocking back and forth and said he’d rather be friends with this one other weird girl who actually did bad things.

After that he kept going out of his way to talk to me and my friend and it was really weird. I decided to just ask him about it and I said “I feel like we’re not on good terms because you were saying bad things about me” then he told me that he hasn’t spoken about me in years and I told him that it was a bit ago, and that I just still feel weird about it. I told him what it was I heard and he asked me who he said it to, I told him a group and he asked who told me, but I told him I didn’t wanna say, it was cause he’s still friends with my friend though. He then apologized and told me that he didn’t remember saying that, but he’s sorry if he did, and that he doesn’t know if he was just having a bad day or what. He did keep apologizing, so it did seem like he meant it. After that he spoke to me a few more times, each was awful. In class we watched the frog in a pot video and the teacher asked us what it meant, first she asked him and he said something about being too stupid to know. Then she called on me and when I answered he just talked out in class about how smart I am, which I just found really weird and kind of embarrassing. Also once when my class was on break, a group of people went outside to smoke. I went to the side near the windows while the rest of my class was out the middle, then he came over to me and asked if I’m allergic people and points out how I’m standing by myself. He also points out how earlier that morning a teacher had offered me help and told me I look confused when I was just waiting outside a classroom. I say yeah, it was weird, then he says “she doesn’t know that’s just your face”.

There’s been other things too, but basically it’s just been stressful. At first I was trying to tolerate him in school so it wouldn’t be weird, but he’s a really hard person to be around, even though it’s brief

I recently encountered a situation that left me questioning whether people were being unnecessarily rude or just a tad too candid. As a 27-year-old mother of quadruplets, who just turned 2, I decided it was time they learned how to swim. This past week, my husband, two of his buddies, and I accompanied the kids to their first swimming lessons. Due to their young age, each child required the presence of an adult during the class, and since all four were scheduled at the same time, I needed all the help I could get from our little supportive team.

During the lessons, it seemed like every other child was accompanied by their moms or female guardians, all of whom were dressed in shorts and t-shirts for their swim attire. My husband and his friends wore regular swim trunks and no shirts. I opted for a two-piece swimsuit. It was nothing overly revealing; however, my midriff and back were visible. I didn’t initially notice or mind what everyone else was wearing until about halfway through the week, and everything seemed perfectly ordinary until the courses concluded on Friday.

As we were all changing and preparing to leave, a few mothers approached me. They chose that moment to express their discomfort with my choice of swimwear throughout the week. They calmly informed me that while they did not want to create an awkward atmosphere during the sessions, they found my two-piece swimsuit inappropriate due to my exposed stretch marks, which I have quite prominently from carrying quadruplets. They even suggested that I should cover up more if I plan to continue attending classes with my children. I questioned them about their thoughts on the men’s attire, and they dismissed it, indicating that the issue was specifically with my "baby belly."

Now that I'm back home, I’ve been torn over their comments. Were they crossing a line, or was I thoughtless about the expectations of others at such a gathering? My husband reassured me that I had nothing to worry about, but it seems like the other mothers felt quite differently. Am I in the wrong here?

I can’t help but wonder how this scenario would play out if it were part of a reality TV show. Would the audience side with me, seeing the others as overly critical, or would they agree that a more conservative outfit is appropriate for a mother in a public setting like a children’s swimming class?

Do you think my swimwear choice at kid's swim lessons was inappropriate?

Im a homeschooled 14yo girl and where i live homeschoolers have to have yearly testing, so my mom and younger brother all went and after testing both me and my brother did good but i had done better saying i went up 4 grades in 2 things from the year prior and both things my mom had not worked on with at all and everything else i also went up in. My brother went up a max of 2 grades basically on everything which was still good but kinda normal. I was super excited and proud of my good grades that i got on the test and was super excited to get praise for it (i dont get very good grades usually so i feel like a dumbass but knowing i did good i finally felt smart for once.) So we go in the car to go home and my brother just keeps talking about how proud of his decent grade he was and my mom was praising and saying how good he did. She said none of which to me. Not even a "good job" so while they were talking about how on spelling they havent worked on at all this year yet he still did good i said "oh yeah didnt i go up 4 grades in spelling? And creative writting?" (Both we havent worked on at all this year.) She said "yeah you did. It was probably from the German weve been doing." The only reason i had said that was to get her attention and for her to say "you did a good job" or some shit but i got jack shit while my brother got non stop praise. For once i was proud of my grade and she didnt say shit. Sorry if im being drammatic but this mixed with them fucking neglecting me cause my other siblings have problems pissed me off beyond belief. Again i probably sound like a baby complaining about this im sorry but its been pissing ,e off and i have no one to vent to also sorry its so long.

I love how good I've been feeling recently :)

A Home That Doesn’t Feel Like Home

Lately, I feel like my own house isn’t my safe place anymore. Ang ingay ng sigawan at away ni mama’t papa, parang wala nang pahinga. I thought after losing kuya and mommy, they would see me, take care of me, hold me a little closer. For a while, they did — but only for a short time. After three months, they went back to their old ways. They knew my triggers, they knew how much their fighting breaks me, pero parang wala lang.

When I got sick, I just wanted to be found. I left my door unlocked hoping mama would come in, sit beside me, ask how I was. Pero when papa told her to check on me, she answered coldly, like caring for me was a burden. Masakit marinig na parang wala akong halaga.

It hurts even more because I help her at home. I wash the dishes, I clean, I do my part. Pero kahit gano’n, mas maalaga at mas sweet pa sila sa pinsan ko, kahit hindi naman siya nakakatulong sa gawaing bahay. Ako na nga yung gumagawa, ako pa yung parang hindi nakikita.

That’s why these past weeks, I’ve been cold to them. Parang mas gusto pa nila yung pinsan ko kaysa sakin. They don’t realize how much it kills my spirit when I give, give, and give, but I don’t feel cared for in return.

I feel so fragile. I miss kuya, I miss mommy, I miss the way they made me feel safe and loved. I just want someone to take care of me, especially when I’m sick. Pero sa halip, I get sharp voices, cold answers, and the feeling that I’m too much to deal with.

Sometimes, I just want to leave this place. Ang hirap tumira sa bahay na parang hindi tahanan. I want peace, I want love, I want to breathe.

And maybe they’ll never really understand, but I know this: my pain is real, my longing is valid, and I deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make me beg for it.

Even if my own house doesn’t feel like home, I’m learning to carry myself and be my own safe place.

I know this is a confession site but still..

I’m looking for ways to earn some extra cash online. Does anyone know of legit platforms, gigs, or opportunities where you can get paid for completing tasks, micro-jobs, surveys, freelance work, or similar stuff?

Would love any recommendations, personal experiences, or tips you have — especially ones that actually pay out reliably. Thanks in advance!