Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I just needed a place to rant this out without the other side being a loved one or friend….I’m not well, I go to therapy twice a week at this point and the more I’m aware of how my mind works, what makes me tic, the more my thoughts race and I close off from loved ones. My history with relationships hasn’t been a great one, littered with bad endings and abusive partners…it’s like I’m a magnet for negative energy. I’m trying to heal but with my recent finding of I’m going threw PMDD (just putting a name to the mental hell I was already going threw) I feel hyper away of my thoughts and my emotional spirals and I can’t help to think my loved ones lie to me when they say I’m not a burden and it’s ok….im sure they’d drop me for someone more stable who involved less work…so I sit here and cry thinking it would just be easer to be in another abusive relationship so I wouldn’t worry about being a burden…that it was just the treatment my broken mind deserved and I could forever just live in this chaos I seem to feel calm in vs being always unsettled in the tamed relaxed environment I’m finding in my recent relationships….its just easer to be used then loved is how my brain takes it…what would you do if your mind just wanted to relax in the arms of the ones who abused you?

As a Muslim woman who chooses to wear the hijab, I strictly adhere to the conviction of covering my hair and most of my body as a gesture of faith and modesty. My choice in this regard is personal and based on my religious beliefs; I respect the choices of others who may be different from my own while not imposing my values on them.

Recently, I attended the bachelorette party of my longtime friend, Layla, just before her wedding. Layla, who isn’t particularly religious, has always respected my customs – she even selected a modest-style abaya for me to wear as her maid of honor. Our understanding always made me comfortable in our friendship, believing that she appreciated the significance of my hijab.

At the all-women gathering, I felt relaxed enough to remove my hijab since we were amidst close friends and planned an overnight stay. The fun evening included watching movies and taking pictures and videos – memories captured among friends, meant to stay private. I assumed these images were confined to our chat groups.

However, after driving home the next day, I saw that Layly had tagged me in a public Instagram post where my hair was visible. I immediately contacted her to kindly remove the image or at least cover my hair in the photo. Surprisingly, Layla objected, citing that there were no better photos and that I was overreacting. Troubled by her response, I suggested cropping me out or modifying the image, but she was adamant that it wouldn’t look right.

Feeling upset, I expressed my concerns in our group chat, hoping for support. Opinions were divided; some friends sided with me, understanding my request for privacy, while others, led by one who often opposes me, disregarded my feelings. Layla defended her position by saying the wedding stress was overwhelming her, although I don't see how this issue relates to her wedding preparations.

Amidst this, I couldn’t help but wonder, if my situation were part of a reality TV show, would the audience perceive my reaction as an overreaction or see it as a justified call for personal respect and privacy? The nature of reality TV often skews true intentions for dramatic effect, potentially magnifying my distress or trivializing it to entertain an audience.

Am I unreasonable in wanting respect for my privacy and religious practices, or is it too much to expect friends to understand and honor my personal choices?

(i posted a rant before this one called 'long distance sucks' and im here with another related to that)

just for over view- im in a long distance relationship with someone who i was best friends with for a year. hes amazing btw, hes so cool, i learn so much from him, hes smart, tall, handsome, incredible OH GOD I LOVE HIM A LOT! hes just so fucking perfect. he loves me the same, he helps me in anything i need (hes a year older), he tells me how much he loves me everyday, he tries his best to be the best version of him for me (hes already the bestest), he cares for me a lot, he tells me whats wrong and whats right. hes really fun, we have the same type of sense of humour so we joke around a lot of anything and about each other and dont get offended. i love him a lot- hes truly everything i ever need.

im a very sensitive person even though i show myself as strong. he knows how sensitive i am so he takes extra care of him and worries whenever im a little off. he comforts me. he tells me how amazing i am and how strong i am. he handles me like no other. in short he knows how to get me going during my breakdowns.

but idk if im being enough for him. idk if i really provide him the support he needs. i give me all! whenever hes sad or low or down about things i literally give my everything to make him feel good even with his "men are strong" approch. me being the extra sensitive one in this relationship makes me think that im never really enough for him when hes sad. i wrote him 7 pages, 2-3 paragraphs and delivered him my perfume, hair tie and a short letter. i just want him to be happy the way he makes me but i just think im falling less somewhere or maybe im just feeling this way because we are in long distance. i just love him so much that i know no end on letting him go and i fear that im not being a good girlfriend.

So, I'm part of an online group of friends who play online and chat about common hobbies, passions, etc, nothing too harmful. I'll start by saying that I'm closer to one of them (let's call him R) that I've known for years, but I enjoy talking with all of them. All good, until a few days ago, when there was some sort of private, aka not in the general chat, fight between R and another person (S). Now, R and S have been quite close for years, but there was some disagreements already (personal stuff between them) that blew out of proportion after a comment made by R that S thought it was about him. R says it wasn't, but who knows really. Ever since that the group has been silentish, in a weird tense mood. I know about the fight from R, the others know from S, and it's like inevitably the group split between R and I, on one side, S and the others on the other, even though no public reference has been made to the fight. I don't know how to approach this situation, R thinks we're being quietly shunned out by the others (whom I still can see interacting with each other) and while I initially thought it was crazy, after almost a week of this I feel kind of drained by this whole situation. I never acknowledged what happened between them, never made comments, even in chat with R I tried to keep up a "maybe it's nothing/maybe it's a coincidence/maybe they're just busier this time around" more to try to keep R calm, but I've got to say I'm starting to agree and would like this situation to end, someway. What happened between R and S is not something I have part in and on their "break up" of sorts S said to R that he'd interact normally with him, just less "closer", but it's hard to believe now. Even talking to R is becoming something that keeps draining my energy, even though a friend sticks to a friend and I deny feeling tired by this whole situation when he apologies about it. I don't know, it sounds dumb and childish, but I just want my chill group back.

My husband and I have a sweet 7-year-old girl, Emily, who recently made friends with a pup she found wandering in our front yard. It was all fun and games until we discovered the little dog belonged to our neighbors. They initially thought Emily had taken the puppy away from their property, which caused a lot of upset. Subsequently, my husband imposed additional chores on her as punishment. Emily stood her ground, asserting that she hadn't stolen the puppy and refused to do the chores.

The situation took a turn for the better when our neighbors came over to apologize. It turns out, their own son had accidentally let the puppy escape while they were out for a walk because he removed its leash. That's how the puppy ended up in our yard.

When I got back from work that day, my husband briefed me on the apologies, but still insisted Emily should be reprimanded for not completing her chores. His view was that it was a matter of principle and she should obey her father regardless. I couldn't disagree more. To me, punishing her for an act she hadn't committed was completely unfair. I argued that teaching her to accept wrongdoing silently was not something I supported.

The disagreement escalated as my husband labeled me unreasonable. I was left wondering if my stance was indeed wrong.

If this confrontation were to unfold under the public gaze of a reality TV show, I can only imagine the heightened drama and varied opinions from viewers. Social media would likely be ablaze with debates on parenting styles and the fairness of imposing discipline. Would the audience side with fostering obedience or upholding justice? The dynamic would certainly be enticing to viewers who thrive on real-life conflicts and resolutions.

How would people react in a reality TV scenario?

i swear i dont even know whats wrong with me anymore. i cant stop thinkin about him like all day all night its just him in my head 24/7. like its drivin me crazy. we aint even talkin anymore but i still keep checkin my phone every 5 mins like maybe he’ll text or like maybe he’s thinkin bout me too (even tho i know he probly not). we was never official official but it felt real to me. we had a connection, the way he looked at me, the way we talked for hours, laughin about dumb stuff. nd now? nothin. just silence. nd it hurts more than i thought it would. like why can’t i just move on like a normal person?? why am i still stuck on someone who don’t even care if i’m breathin or not??

my friends keep tellin me to forget him, to block him, delete the pics, all that. nd i tried. for real. i tried to distract myself, go out more, talk to other ppl, even flirt a lil just to see if i could feel somethin again. but i don’t. its like no one hits the same. i see him everywhere too, like songs remind me of him, certain spots in school feel weird without him there. i even wear that hoodie he let me borrow still, even tho i know it’s dumb. nd the worst part? he moved on like it was nothin. he’s talkin to someone else now and actin like i never mattered. like i was just a phase or some fun thing he did for a bit. nd maybe i was. maybe i made it bigger in my head than it really was. but to me, it felt real. nd now i just feel stupid for fallin so hard.

sometimes i cry at night just thinkin bout what i did wrong. was i too much? not enough? did i scare him off by feelin too deep? i replay convos in my head, thinkin what i coulda said diff, what i coulda changed. nd yeah i kno, i shouldn’t blame myself, but how do u not when someone u gave your heart to just lets it go like it was nothin?? he said things that made me think he cared. he looked at me like i was the only person in the room. he made me feel seen, nd now i feel invisible. like i was only temporary. like i’m just another girl he’ll forget soon.

i just want it to stop. the overthinkin, the dreamin bout him, the way my heart still jumps when i see his name pop up somewhere. i wish i could just shut off the part of my brain that still misses him. that still wants him. but i can’t. he’s stuck in me. nd maybe one day i’ll get over it, maybe someone new will make me forget how bad this hurts, but rn? rn it feels like i’m gonna feel this forever. like he broke somethin in me without even tryin. nd he probly don’t even kno. or care. but i do. nd that’s what sucks the most. cuz even if he don’t feel nothin, i still can't stop thinkin bout him. nd i hate that i still want someone who dont want me.

I listended to this song called Mind Of Mine by Lo Spirit and It made me cry because the lyrics are so deep and I can relate to them I just wish someone would hold me and say it's ok I am here for you

I think I like most music... But I can't really tell. I usually adjusted to the music other people liked. Or I simply was too afraid to stand up for the music that I actually liked.

I remember being in elementary school and I saw my first K-pop video... I can't remember who they were, but this girl who seemed to be nice wanted to share her interest in music... K-pop. I was young and honestly pretty stupid back then... And scoffed at her saying it wasn't real music... She then said, if you don't like the music, at least look at the cute boys... I looked, I blushed and the lied and said..."they're not my type"... And that was a forking lie!! I have sinned! I love K-pop now... But I was again, very stupid and judgemental back in my tiny-tot days.

My favorite group is Stray Kids... But my mom would always mistake them for Stray Cats🤣!! If any K-pop came on the radio, my mom would be like... "Is this the Stray Cats"😂!? Mew😹! At some point I just agreed that my favorite K-pop group was officially Stray Cats whenever I was with my mom!

My favorite songs from them mostly consist of their Oddinary album. But I like the song Railway, Red Lights, and Drive... Yes, my brain is sludge and I need to touch grass... So what🤪! Railway's music video kinda creeped me out though... Since it seemed to have a horror theme to it. I respect the horror genre, but I would've readily watch it willingly... Unless it's Stray Kids(Stray Cats)!

Alexa doesn't seem to register when is say..."Alexa"..."play Stray Kids Oddinary Album". She doesn't seem to understand that Oddinary is an original word by Stray Kids(Stray Cats). So I have to manually tell her the title and group I want her to play for me😭! But get this... She understands what Maxident is! Or was it Maxidant? I can't remember the spelling?

I don't know if I like art? I always thought I did. But whenever I'm around real art fans, I just feel like an uneducated potato. And I honestly don't wanna hear the stories behind art or their meanings. I simply enjoy the way they look. If they bring any feeling to me without any description or knowledge given to me. But again, being around art buffs... It's not easy to make conversation with them when they seem to wanna talk about the artists, or their techniques, or the meaning behind a certain piece of art. I just like to look at it. Plain and simple.

Platonic friendships are possible and I am a believer of that. I've had and still have very successful ones. Those friendships aren't even considered a "friendship" I would consider them a sister. I have 3 friendships like this. Unfortunately I can't anymore. I've spent so much time this girl and it's always been brother and sister love between us both. Looking out for each other comforting each other during hard times and it's been very respectful and the clear boundaries have not been crossed. I hoped that it would've stayed as that bond of brother and sister but when one starts to think of the other in a different light they die inside. You're left with 3 options: 1. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she accepts and everything will be great. 2. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she doesn't like that so you can't be friends. 3. Die inside and don't tell her and preserve your entire relationship with the person. Under other circumstances I would've told her and risked our friendship. She has a boyfriend who l have meant, respect, and love him for her. So much so that when she told me about him I almost cried tears of joy. With that being said I feel that it's only appropriate to distance myself and let the friendship be just memories. I feel it's unfair to her on whatever I do but I only know it's fair to myself if I distance myself. Wonder what your thoughts are on this.

I've been struggling with my mental health for a long time and despite this I've always tried to keep the most positive outlook I could, but recently I've felt as if that wasn't possible. I've always been weird and avoidant of people due to paranoia, anxiety, OCD, autism symptoms and emotional inconsistency which has made it difficult to maintain relationships. Suffice to say, I've gotten along with people to the point that I could show them an empty side of myself that didn't care whether he was hurt or not, but I feel like now that's the only part of me who can function with others. I like that part of me, and I feel like I'm okay as long as I trust him to take care of things, but I don't know how I'm supposed to live my own life.

I've always had a lot of things that I'd been passionate about but those things like drawing, watching anime, learning languages, learning history and pretty much everything except for math doesn't really have a place in my life anymore since I've started college. I can still enjoy my hobbies but I feel like as a 19 year old male, watching trashy shoujo anime and liking moe stuff is kinda weird. Having obsessions feels like something to be ashamed of as well and every time I get into something I feel like I'm always going to be stereotyped for it. Apart from that, my fascinations with dark things like gore and pain are obviously things I'll have to keep hidden. I've basically abandoned the notion of someone who'd be able to save me or be there for me because I know I just get too attached and mess things up in relationships like that.

I always had the notion that everyone else was in the wrong for making me feel like I had to hide, but now I think I'm at the point where I'm accepting that I don't belong anywhere. I don't want to change and I don't want to die but I can't live in society the way it is being the way I am. I used to want to change the world, but now I feel like someone like me, with all my issues would just make it worse.

Living like this, I feel like I'm slowly disappearing and like I'm giving in. In some ways it feels like losing the parts of myself that make me who I am is just a matter of course, it doesn't matter to me anymore because it's something I should have accepted a long time ago, but if I could I wish I didn't have to change to live.

my boss texted me this holiday at 7am!! just asked me to send a quick message to an agent and this exchange lasted for roughly 10minutes. now Im just worried that if I keep doing this, then it will not only be 10minutes but hours someday. I dont know if its okay to oblige to requests like this on a holiday even if it took me only 10minutes to talk with the agent. is it okay to accommodate simple requests like this if you are on vacation? my boss tends to scold us in our group chat if we dont respond immediately and attend to matters. to be honest, the message wasnt even urgent at all. its a national holiday and everyone is on vacation!!

It is my time to say goodbye now

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JdNLbap0V8QYpjjrcZCqpRVawIJI48Y6KT0DDjr8BMY/edit?usp=drivesdk

My good friend Lisa is tying the knot next month. We've been pals for a decade, and I'm looking forward to celebrating her special day. Yet, the lead-up to this joyous occasion has become quite the financial strain.

The wedding is set to take place abroad, requiring a pricey flight and a stay at a high-end, all-inclusive resort. To attend, I requested a week off work, rounding up my total expenses to approximately $2,000. It's a steep price, but Lisa means a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to miss her wedding.

The complication arose a few days back when the maid of honor, who I’m not particularly close with, messaged all the bridesmaids. She proposed we each shell out $500 for a lavish wedding gift, like an exclusive honeymoon package or a bespoke luxury item. This request caught me off guard since the cost of simply attending was already substantial.

I reached out to the maid of honor privately to express my inability to stretch my budget further, offering instead to purchase a meaningful gift within my means. Her reply was disheartening: "Everyone else is contributing. It'll look bad if you don't, especially since Lisa has always wanted this."

Despite the pressure, I remained firm on my decision, unable to justify further financial strain. This stance, however, has led to an uncomfortable rift among the bridesmaids, with some implying that my refusal is a sign of being stingy or unsupportive. It's left me second-guessing myself, though deep down, I know overextending myself financially isn’t wise.

Indeed, if my dilemma were part of a reality show, the drama and tension would certainly boost viewer ratings. Arguments and disagreements are often amplified on-screen, portraying a heightened version of reality. It's possible that cameras and an audience might have influenced the other bridesmaids to pressure me further, pushing for a highly emotional, scripted resolution. Yet, one can only speculate whether this added scrutiny would lead to solidarity among the group or if my stance would be portrayed as the rational voice in an episode filled with fiscal folly.

So, am I wrong for refusing to contribute an additional $500 for a wedding gift considering the significant costs I've already committed to just to be part of Lisa’s day?

I've been in my relationship almost 13 months now. Her and I have had our ups and downs but most importantly I had one only friend who was a girl that she was jealous of and long story short I cut her off. She made me give her my Instagram password so I can't vent to any of my other friends because she would know and I can't vent anywhere else that isn't anonymous I just feel so upset my chest hurts and I want to cry and everything is just bad and oh my goodness

My girlfriend is suicidal, she harms but she's trying to do better, but she isn't good at giving me attention and she ignores or casts aside or doesn't put much thought into me or my interests. It's been going on since we started dating. I've asked her multiple times to pay me more attention and be more invested and she does maybe for the rest of the day that I ask but she never entirely changed.

Today, I was pushed to my limit of this, I felt horrible as she just sent an emoji reaction to the things I told her about my day, and as she told me things about hers I asked her questions and replied with words. It hurt every time. This has always been the dynamic, and every time I'm pushed to my limit I tell her and bad things happen.

I have learned to never tell her my feelings because every time I do, she either apologizes over and over again and doesn't change or she harms herself or tells me she either wants to die or she is planning to kill herself.

Tonight I was so upset and hurt, I thought it would be different. I thought maybe she would be able to listen and understand my feelings. I had a hard time telling her. She knew I was upset and she said "I also have something to bring up but rn clearly isn't the time for that" and we went back and forth and I ended up telling her why I didn't want to tell her what I'm feeling, and she got upset because I said that she wasn't prioritizing my feelings and she just said "oh my god" and started defending herself and

And I said "I don't want to talk anymore" so I didn't respond for about an hour. When I came back things were calmer, she seemed to be level headed as I told her the real reason why I was upset (That she wasn't paying much attention to me), and she said she was tired, stressed, busy with work, and I said I understood that but I make a point to always reply with words even if I'm busy or tired or upset. She said she was trying to change, and I could tell she was starting to become upset so I switched to her, I told her she was doing amazing and I tried to cheer her up because I knew where it was going. She told me i can't keep doing this to myself, that she doesn't deserve me, she says these things every time they just sting, I don't know why

I was trying to ease things going on when she suddenly tells me "I could either go the sleep route or the overdose" referring to making herself feel better. I made her throw away her blades weeks ago and she wanted to committ to being clean, she is doing well so far, unless you consider tonight ruining her streak I'm not sure.

Then I threatened to call the police. I had no other choice than to scare her with calling the police because I knew nothing else would work.

Going back and forth, she was telling me

"I'm sorry I failed you"

"I failed you as a partner"

"I put you through hell"

And I felt she was about to kill herself, I told her I would call the police (she is scared of the police because her home would punish her if police came to check on her)

Then she sends me blurry pictures she was crying on the bathroom floor

She told me if she got up she would probably go overdose

Then she was talking about how if rebirth was real she would be happier

Then, she hurt herself, she had an already injured foot, she injured it further, told me the veins in her foot felt numb

Then she sent more pictures then she told me instead of killing herself she was going to fuck herself up with her medicine by taking double the amount prescribed and I threatened the police again and I forced her to only take her usual dose. I hope.

Then after more back and forth, I kept telling her I was only going to go to sleep once she did, and she said she didn't trust me, that I won't call the police, and I ended up swearing at her and leaving. I was so angry and hurt, I couldn't do anything else

Every single time. Every single time, without missing a single beat, this happens when i try to talk about my feelings. And I can't even vent to anyone. I can't talk to a friend, I can't tell anyone else we know,

She is literally the only person I text. I literally have nobody else that I message. It is only her. And I can't vent to her about my feelings because this will all just happen again

She told me that if we break up she is 100% going to kill herself. Before we met she planned to kill herself after graduating, she almost did it early multiple times. I stopped her. She told me I'm the reason she's alive. Many many times she tells me, even in person, "I'll just go through with my original plans," and the only time she backtracked was the one time I cried after her telling me

I was so angry after today. I don't know what to do. We can't break up, I love her too much, we are locked in, but I'm going insane because I can't talk to anyone.

I don't know what to do

I'm a 29-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 30. We've been in a relationship for four years, and I have two children from a previous relationship that he hasn't adopted. Recently, his good friend invited us along to a couples' retreat that was to last four days. The event promised to include couple’s massages, romantic dinners, and more. We were all set to leave today. Once he told me about it, I immediately began searching for a babysitter for my kids.

Despite my efforts, securing a babysitter proved impossible. Their biological father rarely takes them, and their grandmother prefers to showcase them on social media rather than genuinely spend quality time with them. Normally, my boyfriend would ask his mother or sister-in-law for help since they’re close by, but he didn't make any moves to do so this time. In a last-ditch attempt, I contacted them myself yesterday, but they were unavailable. I assumed since I couldn’t make it, he would also choose to stay behind.

However, to my surprise, I woke up at 5 am today to find him packing his bags. Confused, I inquired about his actions. He matter-of-factly replied, "Uh, packing? I need to leave by 7 am to meet George." I questioned why he was still planning to go on a couples retreat without his partner, and I pointed out that his lack of effort in finding a babysitter suggested he might not have wanted me to attend in the first place. His response was curt: “If you wanted to go, you should have found a sitter. I don’t have time for this.”

Upset, I watched him leave after he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. About 15 minutes later, I received a text from him showcasing his luxurious suite decorated with flower petals, champagne, and even a heart-shaped bed. I responded with a simple, "Have a good time." He interpreted my message as hostile and replied accusing me of being clipped and unfairly blaming him for not finding a sitter. When I mentioned that a little assistance with the babysitting would have been appreciated, he called me an asshole and overdramatic.

In a hypothetical situation where these events unfolded on a reality TV show, the dynamics could potentially flare into an explosive situation. The cameras would magnify every emotional response, turning our private disagreement into a public spectacle. Viewers would likely be split; some may empathize with my plight while others might side with my boyfriend, arguing about responsibilities and commitments in blended families. The tension and drama would make for compelling television, but at the cost of personal pain aired for entertainment.

If you were me, dealing with this kind of partner response, what would your feelings be about this whole situation?