Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Alright (I always start with alright lol), So… since 4th grade I’ve had this small friend group with 4-6 people (I’m in 8th grade). In 4th grade, we played this game where one person would pretend to be a dog owner and we would be the dogs, barking in the field during recess. But our generation(being the messed up generation that it is) made it so our whole grade started calling us furries and the Wolfpack. I was scared that kids would actually come punch us in stuff and they didn’t, but to this day I am still mad at those people that bullied us because it was just a game for us little kids to entertain ourselves with.

In 5th grade, there was a group of girls that I hung out with a lot more than my closest friends, and my friends were mad at me about this. I wanted to expand my friendships, and wanted to be good friends with the “cool kids” In hopes that they would stop bullying my friends, and if not, then me (They didn’t). My friend in the so called “Wolfpack” even already had a boyfriend (We were only 11 so I don’t know why I cared lol) and I got so jealous that boys still liked her. Like at least 5 boys in our grade had a huge crush on her, yet still barked and yelled “Furry!” At her whenever she walked by. Honestly, I was not getting much individual recognition in being in “The Wolfpack”, so I was able to make my own friends aside from this friend group! My friends in “The Wolfpack” didn’t like that I was making more friends and we had a huge screaming fight which ended up with my friend saying that I liked her boyfriend (kinda stupid in my opinion I was just jelly she had ANY man). Actually I’ll just end here and do a second part later bye y’all feel free to share your opinion so far!

WARNING: It can be triggering for people with ED, I am not sure tho, sorry this is my first time venting to someone.

I am a 17yo and ever since I remember I hated myself and wanted to lose weight, I was one of the largest girls in class and all my friends were skinny and beautiful. Nobody has ever loved me, called me beautiful etc.. I have been trying to lose weigh since I was 10 I thinks, but I can't, idk why. I hate myself so much, I hate the feeling of my body, I want to cry when I feel my stomach while lying on the bed. I want to feel beautiful but I can't until I lose weight, but I can't lose weight and it's makes me so depressed everyday.

I keep asking myself why things go the way they do, and maybe you can tell me if you see something I don’t. I’m 19, I’m a guy, and every time I get a girlfriend she leaves me after a few days or maybe a couple weeks. It feels like a pattern I can’t break, but I’m trying to stay calm and hopeful about it. I’m not rude or anything like that. I’m polite, I respect women, I listen, and I try not to talk too much about myself. I’m not ugly but not beautiful either, just somewhere in the middle like many people. I’m not rich, not poor. My clothes look fine because my mom picks everything for me, and she actually has good taste even if I feel a bit embarassed about telling people that. The weird thing is I don’t fight with the girls I date. I don’t yell or get angry or act controlling. I try to show kindness. I try to be normal. Yet after a few days they start saying “I feel like something is missing” or “I don’t know what I want right now,” and then they just pull away. I don’t blame them, but it makes me wonder. Is something wrong with me? Or am I just in the wrong place, wrong time, wrong stage of life without noticing it?

Sometimes when I look back at each short relationship, I feel detached, like I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. I try to be objective. What did I do wrong? Was I too polite? Too quiet? Too available? Maybe I answer messages too quickly. Maybe I say “yes” too often. Or maybe I don’t say enough interesting things. Maybe I’m boring. I don’t know. It’s strange because I like peaceful moments. I like sitting next to someone without forcing words. But I guess a lot of girls my age want excitement or drama or something that keeps the energy high. One girl even told me, “You’re too calm,” like it was a bad thing. I don’t think calm is bad. It helps me think clearly. Still, when someone says that, I start thinking maybe I should be louder or more spontaneous or more chaotic or something like that. But that wouldn’t be me. I don’t want to pretend to be someone else. Maybe the right person will like the calm. Maybe she will like the silence too. I keep telling myself “the right girl will stay,” even if it feels like a quote from some cliché poster on the wall. But sometimes clichés help when your heart is a little confused.

I try to stay positive. I really do. I look forward, not backwards. I keep reminding myself that I’m still young. Nineteen is nothing, right? I haven’t even figured out my own life plan yet. Maybe that’s part of the reason things fall apart fast. Maybe girls my age also don’t know what they want. Maybe everyone is just trying random things to see what feels right. I even looked up some stuff online, and I read somewhere, “Early relationships are practice, not final results.” That made me feel lighter. It was like someone telling me it’s okay to not have everything perfect now. I can accept that. I don’t feel angry at the girls who left. I don’t think they’re bad or mean. I think they’re lost too, the same as me. And even if my relationships were short, at least I tried. At least I opened up a little. At least I cared. And caring is something I don’t want to lose. I would rather be a caring person than someone who pushes feelings away. Even if it hurts a little at the end. Pain fades anyway. Hope stays longer.

So I guess I’m writing this to ask you honestly: is something wrong with me? Or maybe nothing is wrong and life is just doing its weird confusing thing. I’m not perfect, but I don’t feel broken. I don’t feel hopeless. I just feel like a person trying to understand himself while watching people drift in and out of his life. Maybe relationships ending quickly isn’t a sign that I’m unlovable. Maybe it’s just timing. Maybe it’s the age. Maybe it’s just normal and I’m overthinking it. I hope so. I hope things will change slowly, like weather getting warmer after a long cold week. I hope next time I meet someone, things last a little longer. And even if they don’t, I’ll keep going. I’ll keep learning. I’ll keep trying. Life is still long for me, and I want to stay hopeful. So tell me, what do you think? Am I missing something obvious? Or should I just relax, breathe, and trust that it will all make sense someday?

Trigger Warning: this post has the topic suicide in it.

im in love with this guy right? i think hes too cause hes like really nice to me and he jokes all the time that he likes me.

so a few weeks ago things got out of hand and i was super suicidal. i told him that i probably was going to kill myself soon. that was idiotic of me. he told the police and now i have to follow MORE therapy. which in turn makes me more suicidal. ironic i know. that thought me to not trust him with my thoughts anymore.

then his friend reached out to me. i told him the same stuff. he told him. ive talked to him multiple times about stuff in my life and everytime ekko (the guy i like) somehow knows about it. ive accused him of it multiple times. and multiple times he told me its true. last time (just now) he ignored it.

ive got no outlet anymore. i dont know if i even want to trust anyone anymore. it sucks you know. ive trusted way too many times and way too many times that trust has been broken.

and please dont try to feel sympathy for the whole suicidal thing. ive heard the blah blah "i get it" slop before way too many times. ive been trough 3 therapist now and im pretty sick of it.

thanks for reading. sorry if i seem like a dick right now. i have that sometimes

I honestly don’t get it; I’m a confident woman in my 40s, thriving in a fast-paced corporate setting, yet I flinch like a startled cat at every little thing. It’s not just the typical noise of a stapler slamming or a sudden email ping that sets me off—though trust me, that doesn't help my high-strung nerves. I've had colleagues burst into my office unexpectedly, and I practically leap out of my seat, knocking over my beloved coffee mug. It’s embarrassing. I’ve worked hard to build this reputation as a competent manager, yet this ridiculous reflex makes me feel like I’m six years old again, jumping at shadows. Shouldn't I have outgrown this by now? It’s particularly frustrating during meetings when someone raises their voice to make a point, and I’m there flinching between my notes like a deer caught in headlights. I can’t be the only one who experiences this, right? I mean, do you ever feel like your body just betrays you with its silly reflexes?

One time, during a really tense meeting about budget cuts, I was already on edge, and when someone slammed their hand on the table for emphasis, I practically yelped. You could hear a pin drop! Everyone turned to look at me, and I felt heat rush to my cheeks like I was back in high school being called out in class. I could've sworn someone stifled a laugh; I mean, it would have been funny if it weren't so mortifying! And it got me thinking—why do I put myself through these situations over and over again? Could it be that I'm just too sensitive to my surroundings? Or maybe it’s a deeper issue related to how I’ve been conditioned over the years. I wonder if my background has something to do with this. My parents were always on edge, and I guess I absorbed that energy. But it’s been years; I’m not that little girl anymore. Shouldn’t I be setting a standard of calm and poise instead? I desperately want to toughen up, but that flinch reflex just won’t quit. Is there an off-switch for this reaction, or am I doomed to be the perpetual jumpy one in the office? 🤷‍♀️

I work in a hospital, as an Intern..

From half a month working in a certain department.I do every work on time, with discipline and punctuality.But there had been hardly a single day,when some senior of mine,for whom I work smiles at me.All over the duty time,they people seem evergreen irritated.They can't smile at you,they can't be normal looking towards you.Appreciation is never cup of tea of theirs.And yeah more over to that,you are asked to do,such helper works! "Fill my waterbottle," when the RO is just steps away!!! It seema like a maid of theirs, than a job that I am being paid for.... You are being taunted/scolded on every step.... without an option of giving reasons....Why are some people there of some sort?why can't people have humanity!!

My older sister, who is ten years older than me, recently decided to host a gender reveal party. We have our differences, largely because of our age gap and conflicting personalities, and sometimes she comes across as quite entitled. Despite that, she is still family, making it almost obligatory for my husband and I to attend her special occasion.

To give some context, my journey to motherhood has been fraught with heartbreak. I have been pregnant four times, but tragically, none of these pregnancies resulted in a living child. I've endured three miscarriages and the devastating loss of a stillborn baby who would be turning one year old. My husband and I have since been taking time off to cope with our losses, hoping to someday be ready to try again.

Upon arriving at my sister’s party, everything was overwhelmingly adorned in pink, hinting strongly at a girl. The absence of anything blue was puzzling, given the purpose of the event. However, when the reveal finally happened, it turned out she was having a boy. My sister's reaction was extreme; she became hysterical, shouting and cursing about her disappointment and how this wasn't what she had envisioned. Her husband wasn't pleased either, dismissing the event as pointless. Watching them, I felt a mix of sadness and repulsion, knowing I would give anything to have a child of my own. Unable to bear it, we decided to leave quietly, although it didn’t go unnoticed.

Later, my sister confronted me about why we left so abruptly without offering her comfort. I tried to explain that I couldn’t empathize with her reaction, which only led her to accuse me of being judgmental and unsupportive. She expressed how her dreams were shattered, now that she had to prepare for a boy instead of a girl. During our conversation, which escalated quickly, I ended up hanging up. Predictably, this was followed by a harsh text calling me a terrible sister. My parents also intervened, implying that I should have suppressed my feelings and supported her nonetheless.

Imagine if all of this had happened on a reality show. The dramatic reveal, my sister's public meltdown, followed by the family turmoil could have been sensationalized for ratings. Viewers might have been on the edge of their seats or pouring out support and criticism alike on social media platforms. The very personal pain and familial conflicts exposed on national television could have sparked widespread controversy and discussion about the appropriateness and emotional implications of gender reveal parties.

In October, a situation unfolded that has since left my daughter giving me the cold shoulder and barely speaking to me. Here's what happened: My daughter, Emily, has a part-time job she attends after school for five days each week. This Halloween, her high school hosted a costume contest, and she and her buddies decided to participate as a group. After school, they went shopping for costumes together.

I fetched Emily and her friends from the store and saw the costumes they picked out. Emily spent $80 on her costume, which immediately set me off. I felt that it was an extravagant amount to spend on an outfit she'd only wear once, for a few hours at that. I voiced my opinion right there in the car, telling her it was a waste of money. After dropping her friends off, I took Emily back to the store and insisted she return the costume and any accessories she bought.

Consequently, her friends found someone else to fill her spot in their group. They ended up winning the contest and each got a portion of a $100 Visa gift card. On Halloween, Emily returned home from school visibly upset, feeling left out from the festivities and fun her friends had. I tried explaining to her that even after the prize split, she’d have lost more money by buying the costume than she’d have gained, but she couldn't see the logic.

A month on and Emily is still upset, barely interacting with me. Her father, my ex-husband, argues that I deprived her of a memorable experience with her friends, emphasizing that her job already causes her to miss out on plenty. He believes I should've allowed her this indulgence. My intention was only to teach her the value of money and the importance of making sensible financial choices. Could a cheaper costume not have sufficed, especially since it was to be worn briefly?

Imagine if this dilemma were aired on a reality TV show. Viewers might be split, with some applauding the lesson in financial prudence while others sympathize with a teenager wanting to bond with her peers over a special occasion. The discussion might bring various parenting styles to light, each defending what they believe is the right balance between guidance and freedom.

Was I wrong in my decision to make her return the Halloween costume?

Basically at my high school we all have majors, I am a tech major. We have this project that’s due nearing the end of the year. The project being creating a mechanical or electrical work of your own. The issue is, I’ve never managed to do anything good at all for this project. It’s my senior year and know they’re asking me to do 2 of them and I just can’t. I feel so ashamed and like such a failure of a person because I can’t do what everyone else can. In my freshman year they just stuck me with another group because I couldnt fucking do anything right. They always act like I’m supposed to be this genius and I’m just an idiot. And since now I’m a senior they won’t accept anything that isn’t “senior quality” and it’ll be a zero. I fucking hate my life and this school I don’t why I haven’t given up yet. I’m tired of not being good enough.

Hey everyone, I'm a bit lost and would love some help. My son recently came out, and I'm trying to keep up with all the terminology in the LGBTQ+ community. I genuinely want to understand everything to ensure I'm fully supportive. 🌈 One thing that's confusing me right now is the difference between "gay" and "queer." I've done some reading, but I feel like I'm wading through a sea of terms. From what I've gathered, "gay" traditionally refers to someone who's attracted to people of the same gender, usually men attracted to men, but it's also used by women who are attracted to women. It's more about a direct definition related to sexual orientation. "Queer," on the other hand, seems a bit more complex; it feels to me like more of an umbrella term that can include not just sexual orientation but also gender identity and expression. It's as if "queer" allows for a fluidity and openness that "gay" might not.

I've read that "queer" used to be a slur but has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTQ+ community as a positive, empowering label. However, I've heard others say they still find it uncomfortable due to its past. How do people differentiate between them now, and when is it appropriate to use one term over the other? 🤔 To me, this feels like learning a new language from scratch, but I'm committed to getting it right. I want my son to know I respect him and anyone else he identifies with. I came across a book titled "Queer: A Graphic History" by Meg-John Barker recently. It gave me some insight into the broader spectrum of identities beyond gay or straight, but I still feel like there's so much more to understand. Have any of you experienced similar challenges trying to make sense of it all? I'd appreciate any suggestions on resources or perhaps anecdotes from your own journey in learning and adapting to the changing language around these identities.

I never thought i would be the person writing something like this, but here i am, typing late at night because sleep keeps avoiding me!! My wife cheated on me, and saying that sentence still feels unreal!! We have been together for eleven years, married for seven, and most days were normal, boring even, but safe!! I found out by accident, not by snooping like in bad movies, but because she left her email open on our shared laptop!! I wasn’t even looking for anything, just trying to pay a bill, and there it was, a thread that felt like it was screaming at me!! I remember my hands shaking, my chest tight, and this strange calm that followed, like my brain shut off to protect me!! She admitted it when i asked, didn’t deny it, didn’t cry much either, which hurt in a different way!! I keep replaying that moment, wondering if i missed signs, if i was too distant, too quiet, too predictable?? Maybe i was boring, maybe i stopped trying, or maybe it really had nothing to do with me at all?? People say cheating is a choice, and i believe that, but it still doesn’t stop the self doubt!!

Since then, everything feels slightly off, like living in a house where the walls moved an inch overnight!! We are trying to talk, slowly, politely, like two coworkers afraid of saying the wrong thing!! Some days she is kind and patient, other days she seems tired of my sadness, and i don’t fully blame her!! I find myself remembering small moments from our past, dumb jokes, road trips, the way she used to fall asleep during movies, and i wonder which parts were real and which were already broken!! I also think about the other person, not with anger all the time, but with curiosity, which i hate admitting!! What did they have that i didn’t?? Was it just timing?? I try to stay balanced, not painting her as a villain or myself as a saint, because life isn’t that clean!! I wasn’t perfect, i know that, i checked out emotionally sometimes, work drained me, and i stopped sharing my thoughts!! Still, cheating feels like dropping a bomb instead of knocking on the door!!

Now i’m stuck in this loop, deciding whether to stay or leave, and both options scare me!! Staying means rebuilding trust from almost nothing, and leaving means starting over in my late thirties, which feels exhausting!! Friends give advice, but everyone speaks from their own story, not mine!! Some say forgive, some say run, and i just nod because i don’t have answers!! I try to focus on basic things, eating, walking, working, but my mind drifts back every time!! I’m not looking for validation or drama, just understanding, maybe from strangers who won’t judge too fast!! Have you ever loved someone and still felt completely alone next to them?? How do you stop your thoughts from circling the same pain over and over?? If you’ve been here, what helped you breathe again!! I’m listening, even if i don’t reply right away!!

My spouse, Annie, performed as a corporate attorney and mediator. She owned an array of stylish professional attire, fit for her demanding role. Tragically, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away within two years. The final six months were particularly grueling.

Throughout this tough period, my sister, Melissa, offered barely any support. Annie and Melissa never really got along—they shared a tense relationship at best—and honestly, I share a similar sentiment towards Melissa. I find her rather self-centered. At Annie’s wake, Melissa had the audacity to inquire about her clothes, hinting she wanted to keep some as mementos. I deflected her requests nonchalantly.

It’s been six months since Annie's passing, and just recently, at my mother’s birthday celebration, I found myself still grappling with grief and not quite ready for social interactions. Yet there was Melissa again, pestering me about the clothes.

I told her that Annie had expressed wishes to donate her wardrobe to a local women's shelter, an organization she fervently supported. The clothing would assist women who needed to dress appropriately for court appearances or job interviews. Melissa snapped, accusing Annie of being selfish even in death, ranting about how Annie always saw herself as superior, and it was unfair that the clothes were going to charity instead of family.

Frustrated, I retorted that I would much rather burn the clothes than see them worn by her. Melissa broke down in tears, and my mother intervened, albeit scolding me instead, urging me to go easy on Melissa because she supposedly took the loss of Annie hard.

The absurdity that escaped from my mother’s mouth was too much—I grabbed my gift and exited promptly. My mother seemed to think that my reaction had spoiled her birthday, but the emotional manipulation over mere clothes which they had no claim over was astonishing.

In a hypothetical scenario where this familial drama unfolded on a reality show, one could only imagine the heightened reactions and possibly a split in viewer opinions. Reality television thrives on conflict, and a situation charged with strong emotional grievances, family conflict, and moral debates like this could escalate dramatically on screen. Audiences might rally behind my point of view, empathizing with the respect towards Annie’s last wishes, or perhaps they would view me as too harsh on my grieving sister, igniting debates across fan forums and social media.

Am I wrong here???

My wife and I often travel with a couple who are close friends of ours, along with our kids who are around the same age. Since our financial situation allows us a bit more leeway, I typically cover the costs without much thought—until a recent incident!

During a trip, we all decided to dine at a seafood place. My wife and I chose moderately priced dishes from the lower end of the menu, and we let our kids pick from the children’s menu. However, our friends decided to order the priciest items available and didn’t stop there; they added a heap of extra sides, several beers, and as the meal was winding down, broached the topic of dessert. Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of food already ordered, I mentioned perhaps skipping dessert since there was plenty left over. I even had the waitress pack some of it up to take home.

Making a light-hearted comment to my wife about the excessive amount of food, my friend suddenly asked to speak with me privately. He confronted me, suggesting I was trying to embarrass him by refusing dessert and making my earlier comment. He felt insulted, claiming I treated him as if he needed permission to order what he wanted. I explained that his ordering felt inconsiderate of our generosity, which only seemed to upset him more, leading to his declaration that he no longer wished to join us on outings.

Was I really in the wrong here?

Imagine how this situation could escalate on a reality TV show. Cameras would zoom in as tension builds at the table, capturing every discontented glance and muttered remark. The dramatic aside with my friend would likely be a heated scene, amplified by tense music, possibly leading viewers to passionately take sides. The episode would close leaving viewers eager to find out if the friendship survives the fallout or if pride will prevent reconciliation.

Long vent

Super, super long day today. I feel exhausted and just honestly like a wet rag.

Had two tests today and idk how to feel about them. I don't think they went bad, but i do think i could've done better. I did study, but not as much as i wanted to, cause yesterday i felt really bad and couldn't continue for a while. I just kinda wanted to go home and sleep forever, but then my mom told me that this morning my grandpa called (from my dads side, we're not good terms with them) and got aggressive and insulted her over the phone. Now she'd like me to call him and defend her, I think. Maybe argue back and throw some insults of my own. But i get really nervous in arguements and It takes nothing to make me start crying, and Just the thought of calling and argueing with them specifically freaks me out. I don't know what do right now. I'm just tired of everything.

Hey, so I just wanted to share some bad experiences with stress with school and relationships, so I have trust issues but I feel like no body know that because they always tell me to trust them, then also school full on stresses me out because we get a bunch of work piled on to everything we have to do and then by the end of the day I just feel very drained and feel like I can't do anything but then my parents get upset at me for having a messy room, but I don't have any motivation to do anything at the moment because I'm constantly being told to be 100% honest with everyone but I can't do that because they'll just tell everything to someone else and I just don't know what to do now.