Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

When i was young I had a few inappropriate sexual encounters that I think have ruined me more than I realized. As an adult I'm addicted to porn. Not only that, when I first got the internet I was exposed to everything. Gore, porn, underage porn, everything. Now when I'm online I feel like I turn into a numb zombie, with a one track mind. a ride I can't get off, there is no escape and I feel like death is the only way to redeem myself or put an end to these compulsions.

As an adult I spend more time finding porn than actually looking at it. for the last few years I have been trying to find new, different stuff to be excited about. This has turned into me losing control. When the idea pops in my head I jump into the passenger seat of my own mind. I feel like I have no control. I start digging, grey out, then come back to reality, disgusted, depressed, and frantic.

I spend most of my waking hours depressed, frantic, and paranoid. The addiction is no longer fun or satisfying. it is a pure compulsive behavior and I really don't know what to do. The reason for the extreme guilt and disgust is due to the sites I visit. I've always sought amateur Webcam type content, I think traditional porn is too fake. the problem is some of the sites I found with this type of content had underage content. In the moment, it doesn't bother me, afterwards I want to die.

in reality those thoughts are not in my mind. I have come to the conclusion that I seem to be addicted to "finding something not meant to be found" or even worse, im addicted to depression. when i feel good about myself, have a good day or get some kind of self confidence boost, it sends me into a spiral and I feel like i need to remind myself im a huge piece of shit and kick me down where I need to be.

i have never saved or shared any illegal content, the disturbing thing is if you just google the right words everything is easy to find and access. I cant tell anyone, I even started therapy but can't speak the real truth. I don't even know if this is truly anynoymous, at this point I feel like turning myself into the police just so I can be removed from all access to the internet. I don't believe im a bad person, I don't actually have perverse thoughts about doing anything taboo. I'm just addicted to digging into the depths of the internet, getting disgusted with myself, and finding a valid reason to end my own life.

ill probably get judged here, but i really need advice on how to be the person I truly am and get rid of this monster taking over my brain.

I recently purchased a semi-detached home and it's turning out to be a massive project. Everything needs an overhaul, right down to the framework.

My neighbors keep to themselves; there’s a father and a daughter who has special needs, and there are mumblings of a son and a mother, though I've never laid eyes on her.

We've just begun remodeling the bathroom, which unfortunately adjoins the daughter's bedroom.

This bathroom is a disaster - we have to demolish and replace everything, including the plumbing and light fixtures. It’s a huge job.

We began demolition four days ago, and immediately, the noise triggered the daughter’s loud, piercing screams. Despite the clamor of our equipment and our own ear protection, her distress was unmistakable.

The next day, her father came over, rather upset, explaining that his daughter is autistic and particularly sensitive to disturbances. He mentioned that our drilling had shaken loose some of her possessions, causing breakage. I apologized, and he walked away somewhat relieved.

However, that evening he returned, furious after work, and berated me and my brother Jake, who’s helping me out with the renovations. He shouted about our lack of consideration and stormed off.

Yesterday, he appeared again, visibly angry, accusing us of being ruthless for continuing the work despite his daughter’s evident turmoil. I saw his daughter looking quite shaken, which made me feel sorry, but I explained we needed to press on with the work.

Today, he demanded we halt our noisy work as his daughter was struggling to recover from her ongoing distress. He looked completely worn out.

I apologized once more but told him that it's his responsibility as a father to manage his daughter’s reactions, and that our renovation schedule couldn't accommodate their situation indefinitely.

He left angrily, and since then, my pregnant wife has been ignoring me, labeling me insensitive and harsh. She insists that if it were our child, we’d expect understanding from others.

I acknowledge the father’s frustration, but my brother and I need to finish this job promptly, and it's just not feasible to stop now.

My wife is still upset, and I’m now sleeping on the sofa. The neighbors are clearly unhappy with us too.

Suppose I was on a reality TV show with cameras capturing these confrontations and my family's reactions. Audiences would probably be split. Some might sympathize with the need to progress work on the house, while others could view me as the villain for not being more accommodating towards a child with special needs.

Am I the bad guy here?

I'm wondering, if you were to put this situation to a public vote, what would people say?

I’m 20. Male. No diagnosis. No meds. Not doing anything dangerous either, just kind of… existing, I guess?? I sleep way too much, but I’m still tired. I eat when I remember. I shower when I absolutely have to. Most days I wake up around noon, stare at the ceiling, then scroll until my phone gets too hot. I used to make plans. Now I cancel everything with the same excuse: "Sorry, not feeling it today." I'm polite about it. Always polite. But it’s a lie, right?? I don’t even know if I’m feeling anything.

I used to think I was just lazy. Like, I’ve always struggled with getting started on things—school projects, job applications, even just laundry. But lately, it’s more than that. I’ll sit down to do something, and my brain just… doesn’t. Like someone unplugged the part that makes me care. My dad says, “You need discipline.” My mom says, “Go outside more.” My friends say, “Just push through it, bro.” Okay, cool. But what if there’s nothing to push with?? What if the battery’s dead and the charger’s missing??

My room’s a mess. Not gross, just... piles of clothes and unopened mail and stuff I keep saying I’ll deal with “tomorrow.” I tell myself it’s fine. I mean, who am I bothering, right?? But every now and then I look around and it hits me—I’m stuck. Not rock bottom, not in crisis, just quietly stuck. Like that quote I saw once: “You’re not drowning. You’re just slowly sinking while smiling at everyone on the shore.” That’s kind of it. I still reply to texts. I still laugh at memes. I still say “I’m good, thanks” when someone asks how I’m doing. But am I?? I don’t know anymore!!!

It’s not all hopeless or dramatic. Some days I get a burst of energy out of nowhere and clean everything and even go for a walk or cook something decent. But it never lasts. It’s like a glitch in the system, not a fix. Then I’m back to lying in bed, scrolling through my camera roll from months ago, wondering why I looked happier in those pictures. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I just had better lighting. I’ve thought about therapy but I don’t feel “bad enough” to go. Isn’t that dumb?? Like I’m waiting for things to get worse before I ask for help??

So I guess I’m just wondering… am I lazy or depressed?? Is this what burnout looks like when you don’t even have a job yet?? I’m not trying to be dramatic. I know people have it way worse. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or if anything’s wrong at all. Maybe I’m just weak. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I need to try harder. Or maybe I need to admit that something isn’t right. I honestly don’t know. If you’ve felt like this before, did it get better?? What helped?? I'm open to answers. Just trying to figure this out without breaking anything.

dunno who else to turn to for this, so hello online community!

let's call this friend H. i consider H a very close friend of mine. we've both been in the same boarding school, and i've been friends with her for the past 3 years. we always get roomed together so that's how we eventually started bonding. but she gets in these emotional moods sometimes and tends to take her feelings out on me.

it ranges from getting mad at me for the littlest things to full on ghosting me for days straight. the most recent one was, honestly, partially my fault, but in my opinion i didn't even do anything that bad. so we were the only ones in our dorm bathroom at the time, along with two of our other friends. it was late at night and H wanted to take a shower. i wanted to scare her and pretended like my friends and i left the bathroom, so we all stayed quiet while she was showering. she did call out to us multiple times, but she was laughing and giggling so i assumed that H knew that we were still in the bathroom and was playing along with the joke.

when H opened the shower door, she was still laughing with us. it was only until we entered the dorm that she suddenly started crying, putting on her clothes aggressively and then leaving, slamming the door shut. H called her mom right after that using a public phone and began to complain and rant about my 'terrifying' joke. we haven't spoken since, because i'm not going to apologize over something that was supposed to be a joke.

other than this, H has also snapped at me at random times, and by snapping, i mean screaming at me, shouting at me, randomly crying and telling me that i was 'bullying her' even though all i did was joke about how she sometimes slept too late at night or stayed in the shower for too long. perhaps my jokes were a bit mean, but i think H didn't need to yell about how i was 'such a bitch' and how she hated me for bullying her in front of all our friends just because i commented that she woke up late that morning. if H was really bothered with my jokes, why didn't she talk to me about it instead of screaming at me for it? H also confuses me because one day, she'll join in on the jokes and laughs along too, or makes a joke about me in return (which i don't mind, of course) but the day after that she'd be telling me that i'm a terrible friend for joking about her.

not only that, H complained to all my other friends about how 'mean' i was being, and 'cried' to them (it's not really crying because there's no tears coming out of her eyes but she makes weird sobbing sounds, so) about all my cruel and evil 'jokes'. i'm tired of being her villain. H knows i have issues with arguments that involve screaming because i had a bad childhood and i prefer arguments being settled through talking and communication rather than shouting, but she still yells and screams at me and doesn't apologize when i tell her it makes me scared and i want her to communicate in a calmer way. i also have issues with tone, and i have a hard time trying to figure out her emotions and stuff, so it really makes me feel sad when she accuses me of not trying harder to understand her.

her anger issues have taken such a toll on me for the past years we've been friends. i don't know how to tell her about my feelings without ticking her off and making her cry. i don't want to seem like more of a bad person to all our other friends, and i'm tired of being her scapegoat all the time. i'm so done with her just giving me the silent treatment without even trying to talk to me about what i did that made her angry. i'm so done with her just snapping at me angrily and not apologizing for it while i have had to apologize to her thousands of times for a small, petty joke. i don't know what else to do. i don't want to lose our friendship but i also feel like if this goes on for any longer i might go crazy lol

I'm not super close with my family but like they aren't bad people. I have no idea if I'm overreacting but it feels like I'm just a stranger hanging out in their house. It's really obvious that they like my brother more which really hurts because I try so much to be the perfect kid and I just can't do it. Once my dad was trying to have a sweet moment with me and he said "I love you (brothers name)". Honestly it really shook me up to realize that they don't even think about me. I have no idea if I'm over reacting but like it feels like they just kinda put up with me.

Growing up, my family life was more about solitude and less communication. We rarely engaged in traditional familial gatherings or collective celebrations like most do. As a result, I grew to be more introverted and reserved—a sharp contrast to my spouse Alex's family, who are the epitome of warmth and community spirit.

Alex's family is exceedingly open and loving. Their home is a hub of unceasing activity, with relatives dropping by without prior notice, welcomed with joy and affection. The environment is always lively with children's laughter and elders sharing tales or embracing each other in a warm huddle. They've extended this warmth to me whole-heartedly but sometimes, their intensity can be overwhelming.

Recently, during a family dinner, when one of the children was excited to perform a song she had learned, everyone joined in singing. While I opted to appreciate quietly, Alex's aunt nudged me repeatedly to sing along. I chose instead to applaud the performance, hoping my gesture was fitting. Similarly, when it came time for farewells, instead of hugging, I offered a high five to the younger kids. This, however, seemed to perplex some of the parents who expected a more conventional goodbye.

The situation escalated when a group of women, around my age, proposed a 'girls-only' camping trip. When they invited me to join, I politely declined, although I offered them our camping equipment to use. This refusal seemed to frustrate the organizer, who, along with my mother-in-law, expressed disappointment that I wasn't participating more openly in family activities. Despite their efforts to include me, I’ve always maintained a balance of engagement, respecting my own comfort levels while still trying to connect.

I’ve indeed stepped out of my comfort zone on many occasions—joining in group events, accompanying them for shopping, attending weddings, and more than I generally prefer. My therapist has been a great support, helping me navigate these social settings, recognizing that while it’s challenging for them, it’s equally taxing for me. Yet, the efforts seem to fall short in their eyes.

My husband stands by me, reassuring me of my efforts and acknowledging my endeavors to blend into his family. Nevertheless, this ongoing struggle led my mother-in-law to express her displeasure to me directly, lamenting that even after eight years, she felt like I still didn't accept them as family. In my heart, though, I treat them as family, just in my own way.

For a moment, consider if my situation were part of a reality show. The dynamics and our interactions could make quite the spectacle, possibly invoking public debates on the essence of family and individual boundaries. Viewers might be split, with some empathizing with my need for personal space and others perhaps critiquing it as aloofness. The added drama of familial expectations versus personal comfort might very well be a central theme.

I don't know how my future will look like, but it was hard in the past, it's hard in the present and I am afraid it will continue being harder in the future and I'm not sure just how much strength I have anymore.

I am 21 years old, I became 21 years old in December 2024. I live in a poor, opportunity-lacking country in Europe but I wasn't born here. I was born in a better country, with better economy and so many more opportunities. I was a dancer as a child, I loved animals and dancing and my dream was either to be a veterinarian or a dancer. My parents were immigrants in the country I was born in and after I did 5th grade there, was in a good dance group and had many friends - they decided they wanted to go back to their home country.

It was hell. They never bothered to teach me the language, I had to learn it WHILE going to school (keep in mind, it's 5th grade so of course every kid knows how to speak and write, I didn't). I was subjected to much bullying and humiliation from both teachers and students alike for not speaking as fluently, not writing as fluently and not knowing the customs like they did. My parents never helped me, not emotionally and financially the bare minimum. Somehow I managed to pass school without failing any years even without the help. I went to highschool, everything was the same. My mental health deteriorated year after year and I felt more overwhelmed, more exhausted, more alone and more depressed.

Whenever I acted on my depression, my parents scolded me, didn't do anything about it and blamed it all on me. I never had anyone to talk about my struggles with, no one to acknowledge how hard I tried to pick up my life and keep up with every other child even though it was ten times harder. I never asked for much of them, they barely gave me anything but the bare minimum. I didn't and still don't have many clothes, my room consists of an old bed gifted by my grandfather, a desk gifted by my neighbor, and a closet gifted from my other grandfather. I never asked them for my allowance. Never even cried about how little I have. Let's not even talk about healthcare, they were forced to take me to the dentist as a child, but after they moved to this worse country that doesn't impose it they stopped and one of my tooth fell, I still don't have an implant.

And God forbid I ask them for something other than the necessities. I never got any presents from them for my birthday, and when I became 18th years old, I asked them for a laptop (a cheap one, anything would do) so I could use it for college. They yelled at me and told me they don't have money to spend on whatever I want (they've bought each other several phones along the years,among other things). Finally, somehow, I got my bachelor degree. So I decided to apply for college, like any other kid after finishing highschool. I applied for two, and got in both of them without tax.

But it was far (the closest college to where I live has very few options, none of which I want to do) and my parents did not want to pay for any expense. They didn't want to pay for even a bathroom for me to have there, or internet. So I had no choice but to give it up and instead join a post-highschool education (assistant pharmacist, it's free so they're not paying for it). I hate it. It's not the life I dreamed of. It's not what the little me told the teacher they wanted to do when they grow up. My classmates are mostly old ladies who just want to do another job aside from the ones they have and I pass by teenagers everyday, seeing them happy and excited to go and see the world the same way I was and knowing their parents will most likely support them unlike mine did with me, and I'm stuck with them while everyone my age is out there doing something with their lives. I know I am missing my young years and wasting them away but I don't know what to do.I gained courage and asked my mom if I could apply for college again, just to see if I get in. She said she'd rather me finish the one I'm doing now, and then she said even if I get in that college again, she will never take me there, her reasoning being that it's too far and she doesn't want to send me food or anything. She then ended the phone and I'm in the bus towards home now trying not to cry, surrounded by annoying highschool teenagers.

I only have one life, and I can't even do something with it.

i couldn't sleep for a year, because he left me. i still miss him sometimes. when i have a beautiful moment or day, and want to share it with him. i miss him like i miss my childhood. i won't be able to reach you, but i will remember. i hope you will be fine, i always mention you in my prayers. forgive me, my love. maybe next time

Life's been a whirlwind lately, you know what I mean? I mean, one day you're planning your dreamy future with the "man of your dreams", and the next, you find yourself knee-deep in lawyer appointments and counseling sessions. Funny how things change, right? So, here's the scoop—I'm freshly divorced, and honestly, it's like an emotional rollercoaster I can't get off. Happy and sad, that's pretty much where I'm at. It's like, I'm finally breathing fresh air after being suffocated for years by my now-ex-husband, whose idea of a good time was knocking back one too many shots and then knocking me around. Yeah, it sounds shitty because it was.

At first, he wasn't like this. At first, he was Prince Charming. No, scratch that. More like the superhero of my dreams. This guy would bring me flowers randomly and plan these cute little dates under the stars. He was my ride-or-die until the booze became his best friend. I mean, just like that—snap! Our love went from sweet notes and silly selfies to shouting matches and wondering whether he'd come home or not. You ever felt relief mixed with a side of sadness? That's kinda where I'm at now. Leaving him was like shedding off an old, heavy coat that's been suffocating me in a hot summer; but damn if I don't miss those good times every now and then. Freaking nostalgia will kick your ass when you're least expecting it.

And there it is, my tale of being happy and sad all rolled into one messy ball. I'm free and breathing on my own and all that good stuff. It's like waking up to sunlight streaming through your window after being locked in a dark room for years, like I'm standing taller now, not weighed down by his vibe—or rather, whatever the hell he turned into. Yet, there's a part of me that clings onto the version of him that used to be loving, thoughtful, and genuinely my best buddy. The memories of our early days pop up like annoying internet ads, but I ain't falling for it again. I gotta keep reminding myself that love shouldn’t hurt—literally. Do you ever find yourself missing something that realistically never even existed? That version of him was as real as unicorns. Anyway, life goes on, and ain't nobody got time for that victim bullshit. I just gotta keep trucking along and, who knows, maybe stumble into real happiness this time. Sure, the sadness lingers, but I’m keeping it together, looking forward to a fresh chapter, and hey, maybe a little sparkle will come my way...

Most of my life I've had mental illness and other issues, due to trauma and genetics. Despite the many efforts and treatments from therapy, my anxiety and depression has worsened. It has lead me to become a somewhat dishonest person. I'm 24 years old, but still have no idea what to pursue job/career wise. When people ask, my responses include near future plans to enter a college/job or answers that I'm still looking into it. Neither are true. After talking with many others to get advice, working on my confidence and skills, taking work quizzes, having a job, etc. There was absolutely nothing that peaked my interest enough to go for it. I already have given up, but feel that no one will understand and keep pushing me to find something when there's nothing to find. Something must be terribly wrong with me because, my dream life is to be unimportant to the world and be alone. A life where no one is expecting anything of me and knows nothing about me and won't ask. I know people need jobs to survive, but I don't even care to survive, either. Not even that motivates me to work. My current job is to care for my close relatives children while they work. I love them and we have so much fun, but they are so difficult to care for at the same time. The youngest has food aversions and is not caught up on mental or vocal development for their age. My current guess is that they have autism. The reason I think this besides the similarity in the symtipms is because the older sibling has asperges and a mood disorder and adhd, the oldest child had Adhd as well. It just runs in the family. It's immensely difficult to navigate. Right now, It's only 2 hours a day, but in the summer when schools out, I will more than likely become overwhelmed. In the end of the summer, I'm planning to move away, but don't want to tell anyone where I'm going out of the embarrassment. Maybe, it's right of me to be embarrassed because I'm willingly putting myself into homelessness ans giving everything away to go to a homeless shelter. There is no intention of ever becoming not homeless. I'm tired of living with people who need rent money and need me to work and know what I want to do with my life when all I want is to be able to survive and show kindness and respect to others. That's literally it. I'm not looking to be in relationships or reach huge milestones. Idk why I'm never motivated to be like everyone else, but nothing has been able to change it. I convinced myself hard to be like them hoping it would force a different reality on me. It didn't. I feel like a broken person and although, I will never take my own life over it, I so just wish I could pass away some other moral way. Is that wrong of me? Is there something I should of tried that I never did? I just feel helpless and ashamed.

All my life I've been making friends for survival. As a child I didn't know why I was making friends, sometimes, for any reason other than to not be alone. I never thought about whether I actually liked the people I was spending my time with. I never took it seriously when they acted mockingly or cruelly towards me. Instead, I saw it as a reason to win them over. I often ended up in friendships that were genuinely worse than just hanging out by myself with a book.

I have three friends right now, who are closer to me than any other friend has been before. It turns out two of them had feelings for me the whole time. I don't have feelings for either of them. I just wanted their friendship and I thought – or rather, hoped – that they were happy with the same. I feel disappointed that they wanted something more. I feel like our friendship isn't enough. It makes me uncomfortable that my friendship with them was the second-place trophy. My other friend is great, but stays inside a lot, so when I ask to hang out, they often say no. It's great whenever we do hang out, and their helicopter parent doesn't tag along unexpectedly – we just don't hang out often anymore.

I wish I had a friend who just wanted to fuckin' hang out with me. Someone who wasn't sticking around because they thought a romance could develop, someone who actually reaches out to ME as much as I reach out to them, someone who feels like my companion.

While I don't have a friend like that, I do have my brother, who I grew up with. He's kind to me, understanding. We can talk completely freely and openly with each other, AND we can keep things private from the other as well. We're totally accepting of each other and I so, so appreciate his presence in my life. Without him I reckon I would feel totally alone.

I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of either isolating myself, or being as open as I've ever been – or both. That's why I'm optimistic about my future.

I'm finally learning that I don't NEED friends. I want them. And those friendships will come with time and effort, not desperately grasping onto the nearest person who pays any attention to me. I'm the kind of person who many find hard to read or unpredictable, or "too different" to even try to get to know. I reckon that's okay. I don't need their approval or even their understanding. It would sure be fucking nice, but I don't need it anymore.

I can just exist as myself, be actively open to making GENUINE friendships, and wait to see what happens.

So I'm letting go of the idea that I need friends. I'm letting go of the idea that I need to be understood or liked by everyone around me. What I actually need is to like myself, to be able to enjoy spending time with myself. And make no mistake, I love hanging out with other people – but I don't need to consider my own company a second-place trophy. I'm great company. I've gotta enjoy that without thinking about who I could be hanging out with instead.

My parent won't respect me, my privacy, or my boundaries. It's not just me either, they do it with my sibling as well, crossing visible lines, testing us in ways that a parent should never do. Today, I told my parent I was changing and would have my door locked. Just minutes after I told them that, I heard them walk away from my door, then come back and unlock my door. Luckily I wasn't changing, but that's a clear boundary they crossed and privacy violation. This happened in the morning and then at night we were having another argument and then they went searching my room for no reason. I've been battling manic depression for a while and it can get difficult to maintain an organized room. They know this and have repeatedly used my 'messy' room as an excuse to punish me. They are constantly fat-shaming and food-shaming me everytime I eat, I could have eaten only one small thing and when I go to get another, they start yelling at me to stop and that i've already had one and that's enough. I tend to talk to myself a lot because at home I have no one else to talk to, they're constantly calling me crazy for talking to myself and venting to the people I've made up in my head. They ask why I don't find comfort in them or why I don't tell them things that's going on, but everytime I try to they turn it into a lecture or make it about themselves. Am I wrong for keeping my distance?

It's hard for me to say, but I feel I can't recover or continue the relationship with this girl. I have to leave her because there's no room for her in my life. I've already tried every way. She's in her own world, and I'm in mine, and any attempt would feel forced and aimed at destroying us both. I personally doubt this girl is considering these conditions, but I feel I can do it. Leaving her would be an act of respect for her routine, her development, and her desire for a new person, given that I can't have a negative impact on her and therefore be scarred, since she has the right to find her. I can't allow myself to be the one to destroy that dream, so it's fair and necessary that we discuss the fact that I'm not the new person she's looking for, given that, as I insist, I'm not in a position to support her, primarily because of the way her life is structured.

Her life isn't meant for new people, but that doesn't mean I can accommodate her to satisfy that desire. However, it's an extremely delicate task, and one she must oversee. Let's assume that she gives in at this moment, the game will tend to abandon her plans and other things, and that's not the idea. If she's going to do it, it should be gradually, considering each of the details into which her entire life can be divided, in order to create something satisfactory. Otherwise, she will be sowing the ultimate nest of violence, bitterness, and a relationship given to conflict as the defining axis of the story she can trace; an issue that, unfortunately, was the future when I saw myself with her, and which was totally heartbreaking for me. I don't know how there are people who can tend to do the same.

This act, without a doubt, represents an act of respect for her person, of love. I observe her as very vulnerable to suggestion and falling prey to one of those manipulative beings who opt for victimhood and are both skillful and unconscious at procuring people to hold them hostage without any evidence in front of others, despite the person feeling this way and the subject knowing it, but at the same time, due to their unconsciousness, ignoring it at all costs. I feel this is the mistake my father and my stepmother made many years ago, and I don't intend to make it again.

I can't deny that it pains me to leave her, given that she seems to me to be a very beautiful person, very dedicated to this new life, and, in addition, with feelings whose life, in effect, was to prevent others from feeling judged. I observed that her spirit of protecting others was undermining her, which reminds me of another girl who I thought was in those shoes with me but wasn't aware of her infatuation with me. She was a person, from what I'm seeing, with a vague self-esteem and who liked not to disappoint others, always making them feel good. This, it seemed to me, was affecting her studies, which were also outside her area of ​​residence. Indeed, it's tempting for anyone to have such a person slide toward you irremediably, given the intense sense of control we humans possess, but it's interesting when it ceases because it implies that the fear of the world collapsing and obstructing her access to it has been undermined, which expresses a greater openness to it. I feel I'm achieving that in this case.

That girl had a great sense of guilt. I felt that, just because she was a psychiatric patient, she was already sliding toward me, against her own feelings, and I feel that at this moment she was almost heading toward that point. However, when faced with someone who is on the verge of overshadowing her life, if I can do something, then let it be this way. It will undoubtedly cause discomfort, but the aftermath will be a rich radiance for her life. She will feel that there was respect, order, and consistency from people like me, who am a patient of the aforementioned type, and I also protect the identity of all of us who, I feel, are highly prejudiced, unfortunately not without reason, given at the same time by a society that doesn't welcome us, given the difficulties we cause because we don't have the tools to handle them.

In part, and it must be said this way, this has become a duty to my profession. Psychiatric patients don't seek to drag anyone down; we ruin people's lives, and much less are we people without a vision for well-being. Quite the contrary, we can be different, and I feel that is the image I want to give to that girl so that we may be respected. At the same time, I want to advocate for the functioning of psychotherapies, whose image today is very degraded, practically reserved for extreme cases, perhaps with a little more breadth than before. That such things do work, of course, with the patient's commitment. And at the same time, that the humanists, a group with which I incorporate, we are not people with problems or low self-esteem who were told to go to that place as an escape from them.

I also want to give a perspective on people who are lonely. We are not self-absorbed people, who abandon others, etc. I believe there are many very prejudiced groups, I insist, not without cause, but if I can do something about it, I feel I am protecting others and helping to distinguish those who do not engage in disrespectful behavior, abusing the way those groups characterize themselves.

I feel like I am giving that girl a huge gift by not insisting further. I don't think she will respond to me, and that, for me, means that she feels my respect, that she is dedicated to her own things, that she is not ready to leave there, and that is precisely the perfect motivation to satisfy that desire to have new people in her life. I am proud of my behavior in this sense.

I did post a story on this before, but it’s not showing up (gulp), so i’m doing it again. I’m not sure if this is the place where i’m supposed to post about this stuff but i have this issue. I like this tv show. A LOT. It’s been months (probably an understatement), where i can only really think about it. My mind turns everything into a reference, i’m always quoting it and i’m just constantly thinking about it. I’ve even caught myself embarrassing myself in class because the teacher called on me to answer a question which i didn’t know the answer to because i was thinking about that show.

Is this a normal thing or am i going crazy? My friends joke and say it’s like a hyper fixation, but i thought only neurodivergent people get those and im not diagnosed with anything. (At least i think it’s just neurodivergent people, im not sure. I haven’t really done much research so sorry if i sound stupid). I just need to know if other people have been through this and i’m not a weirdo for constantly thinking about it.

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

HELLO everyone, I came to France with my family it’s been one year and some months, then I started school in seconde (10th grade) in a local high school and I had to repeat the year. In my second year my life became like a nightmare for me. My high school kicked me out because I had asked classmates for bank cards and money. In my second high school I cheated twice, I no longer have the right to go to school while waiting for the school to give me a final decision. My parents say that if I am expelled they will no longer pay for my school and will find me a job, but I want to continue school; I am at my limit, am I the bad seed in my family? The worst is that I live with my stepfather, and my mother asks if I came to France to destroy her household???!!! I am crying 😢 😢 I am sick of everything.