Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I've been in a relationship for 3 years and in like the last year, I've had feelings of regret more often. We have pur good moments and bad like normal relationships. But when we fight or have a disagreement and he's upset, for some topics I just can't understand his perspective. I understand being upset that's perfectly okay but it gets dragged out and I end up feeling dead inside. I can't help but think that I wouldn't have to go through this if I was single. But I can't exactly break up with him because he is a good person and he loves me a lot. I just can't shake off the regret feeling. I don't know if I'm overthinking and I should just ignore the feeling or bury it

Growing up, my twin sister Emily and I have always shared a deep bond. Recently, however, that bond was put to the test due to her relationship choices. About a year ago, Emily began dating a guy named Ryan. I never had a good impression of him, though Emily seemed completely enamored, even mentioning marriage. This past summer, while I was shopping, a confrontation at the grocery store left me stunned. A woman approached me, mistaking me for Emily, and accused me of dating her ex and sending her hateful messages. She claimed that Ryan, the father of her three children, had abandoned them. Before I could correct her identity mix-up, she showed me messages that Emily had sent her. I couldn't believe Emily would become involved with someone so irresponsible.

When I confronted my sister, she initially denied it, but eventually she admitted that she had hidden the truth. Emily knew that I disapprove of men who shirk their paternal responsibilities, and she didn't want my judgment. That revelation strained our relationship, making me see her in a different light.

The situation escalated when Emily invited me over to announce her pregnancy with Ryan. I couldn’t hide my displeasure, especially towards Ryan. When he asked what my issue with him was, I openly called him a deadbeat. Following this, as I was leaving, Emily confronted me in tears, pleading for my support during her pregnancy. Despite my anger, I told her I'd try to be present for her, but I warned her that she might regret her decisions.

Now, Emily has texted me, demanding that I apologize to both her and Ryan. She's even threatened to cut ties with me if I refuse. This leaves me wondering, am I really in the wrong here?

If this rift between us played out on a reality show, cameras documenting every emotional outburst and terse exchange, I can only imagine the public's reaction would be divided. Some might side with Emily, viewing her pursuit of love and happiness as justifiable, regardless of Ryan’s past. Others might applaud my stance, resonating with my disapproval of Ryan’s negligence towards his existing responsibilities. The mix of family drama, moral dilemmas, and personal convictions would undoubtedly captivate an audience, adding layers of complexity to each viewer's perception based on their personal values and experiences.

Should I apologize to keep peace in the family?

My 30th birthday dinner was meant to be a special occasion. Planned as a joyous family gathering at a restaurant, it was essentially the highlight of my birthday celebrations since I hadn’t organized a party. However, events took an unexpected turn earlier today when my brother and his wife called me, bubbling with excitement to share their news of expecting a baby. Naturally, I was overjoyed for them and we went through all the customary celebratory conversations. But then, they dropped a question that caught me off guard. They wanted to know if I would be okay with them announcing their pregnancy to our parents during my birthday dinner, explaining that since his wife had been feeling nauseous and wasn’t drinking, it would make sense to share the news now. They assured me they could wait and announce it at another family-focused event if I preferred.

The mere fact that they asked this of me stung a bit. It’s not been easy celebrating personal milestones recently, with numerous past birthdays ending in disappointment and my university graduation being overshadowed by the pandemic. Turning 30 felt monumental, especially considering I don’t plan on the traditional milestones of marriage or children anytime soon. With these thoughts heavy on my mind, I asked for some time to think and promised to call them back.

Feeling somewhat cornered, I decided it would be best if they didn’t share their news at my birthday dinner. They seemed to understand, but when I expressed how their request had put me in an awkward position, the conversation quickly soured. They became defensive and my sister-in-law even raised her voice. The call ended on a terse note, leaving me more distressed than before.

This upheaval completely soured my mood and the thought of sitting through a dinner pretending to be cheerful was unbearable. I ended up calling my parents to postpone the dinner, unable to provide a full explanation, which led to their obvious frustration and the reservation’s cancellation fee.

In a bid to clear the air, I reached out directly to my brother. I tried to explain the depth of my feelings and questioned whether he would have made such a request if it were another significant celebration, like an engagement dinner. The conversation was a long one, with pauses and equivocations, but it ended with my brother apologizing, though the damage was done.

Our rescheduled dinner now won't happen until far after my actual birthday due to my brother’s job constraints, making the whole event feel somewhat pointless.

On top of it all, the backlash from the family for the dinner being delayed and the resultant unpleasantness has been directed at me, making me question if I am the one at fault here.

Imagine if this scenario had unfolded on a reality TV show. The dramatic phone calls, the tense family dynamics, and the emotions riding high could have made for quite the episode. Viewers likely would have been split—some siding with me over the importance of respecting my birthday wishes, while others might argue that family news could enhance the celebratory atmosphere. The debates would swirl not just within the confines of my family, but across social media platforms, as the public weighed in on the family drama unfolding on screen.

Would you have let your siblings announce their pregnancy at your birthday dinner?

helloo!! I haven't used this website before so sorry if my story gets boring or messy. I'm currently in year 12 (11th grade i think) and i feel like none of my hard work will surmount to anything. I got the highest grade in my year for GCSEs (final exams) and my family was rly proud of me. I was actually shocked, i thought i would do average. i did a lot of studying but i wasn't sure whether it was effective enough until then. Although this sounds like good news, i still feel like im not going to get into a good university or anyhting. i do have decent academic skills, but my social skills are simply terrible. im rly awkward, and although i have a couple of rly close friends and a bf, i feel like no one else rly likes me. i don't get bullied, but everyone seems to look at me with disgust or maybe even pity. i feel like im jsut bothering everyone by being in school. tbh, the reason i work so hard in school is not just for other ppl's approval, but because i just want to make up for how boring and quiet i am. maybe then i can get a job when im older, but atm it seems unlikely. i can barely hold a conversation, and when i get overwhelmed/stressed in school my face tenses up and i look rly pissed off/sad when im not. no one wants to hire that. plus, it feels like not many ppl even care abt my grades. although the headmaster said i got the highest grades, he gave the "highest grades" awards to two other ppl who are more popular than me. i guess it shows not even the school wants me on stage in front of people. i do sound abt too whiny, i know: i do still feel as if the work i put in will be worth it in the end. but i cant stand how i act in school, i jsut feel like i cant help it. it sounds dramatic, but it feels like my mouth literally sews shut in front of other ppl. how do i fix this?? i just want to stop being so miserable and jealous of others. i dont need to make new friends, i just wish i was approachable anough for ppl to talk to me. sorry, i know its very difficult to respond to soemthing like this. i just wanted to vent mostly. thank u for reading x

I’m 14 and I didn’t really have a good past because of my mother, and the past couple months now I have noticed a lot of changes about myself mentally. If I’m out of the house for too long like at stores or restaurants, I’ll just panic and I don’t understand why, It becomes hard to talk and usually I’ll just say “home”. Last year me and my family went to a huge festival, I panicked and we had to sit down for a while, I would stop panicking but it would start up again randomly and I just couldn’t control it. My grandma and grandpa took me to the car and I calmed down while my dad and my sister were still out for about 15 minutes before we left. They kept bringing it up and said it was an “inconvenience”. Often times if I feel a texture I don’t like, it feels weird like I have to shake it off my hands or I just sit there with my hands out and go like “ah” or “eugh”, my grandma as recognized it and will give me a napkin for my hands or just move us away from where the material was. Sometimes I get in this headspace where I feel like mentally around the ages of 6-10. I never really got to have a childhood, my dad said it was good before him and my mom got divorced but I don’t remember it and I only remember the bad stuff. I want to know what’s wrong with me but when I asked my therapist she said it was just a phase but I cried to her about it months ago (she is no longer my therapist for other reasons). I feel like I’m this way because I was forced to grow up too fast, I mean I was taking care of a baby (my little sister) when I was 5. My mom was selling my toys and Christmas presents for drugs.

When I get really interested in something like a video game, I talk very passionately about it and sometimes I get a little loud when I talk but I don’t notice it. My dad always gets mad at me and I try to stay quieter. I almost always tell my grandma about all my interests and crafts because she is the only one who actually listens. Today I went to talk to her about the craft I wanted to do for my Halloween costume this year. I was in debate between doing a barn owl or a deer kinda cosplay. I was in the middle of saying how I thought the deer one would be harder and how I really wanted to do the owl, but she didn’t let me talk and just kept saying “the owl sounds too hard, you should do the deer”. I kept asking her to let me explain and she was like “well the owl just seems too hard for you”. At that point I just went back upstairs to my room and cried. My dad doesn’t let me tell him about my interests because I talk too much and he wants the short story,now he doesn’t want to hear it at all. My little sister is spoiled rotten by my dad and just doesn’t let me talk, then she gets mad at me when I get mad at her because she keeps interrupting me.

I just want to know what’s wrong with me

Why? Why is this happening to me? I really don't get it. One year ago I would have been what people called a beautiful girl. Long hair, drenched in soft makeup, and tight clothes. So why did I cut my hair so short so suddenly? Why did I start to feel uncomfortable showing off my curves? Why do I get a void every time someone calls me with feminine pronouns?

I had a dream a week ago. Where I viewed myself as a boy. Is my brain accepting this too? Or maybe it's something deeper, that I refuse to acknowledge. To embrace.

Letting go of your old self hurts, but it's even more painful starting to love a new version of you.

Hello to whoever is reading, I hope you have a good day<3

I keep replaying the moment in my head—when i told her i wanted a divorce. after twenty years of marriage, saying those words felt like ripping out part of myself, but staying had become a different kind of slow death. she’s not well, her health is fragile, and that’s what makes it all so much harder. i’m not heartless. i still care. but i was living with someone who chipped away at my dignity for years. disrespect doesn’t show up all at once; it creeps in slowly. a condescending remark here, a dismissive gesture there, and before you know it, you’re invisible in your own life. i tried. really. therapy, talks, compromises that only I kept. and when i finally realized that no amount of loyalty would bring back the man i used to be, i chose to leave. but how do you stop the guilt when someone you leave behind is struggling physically? it’s not a movie with a clean ending, it’s more like walking out of a burning house that still has someone you once loved trapped inside. except that person won’t take your hand even when you reach back;

some people tell me, “you did the right thing,” others ask, “how could you leave her now?” and i honestly don’t have a satisfying answer to either. the guilt isn’t just about her condition—it’s about the idea that maybe i should’ve been stronger, more forgiving, more patient. maybe i failed some unspoken moral test. yet at the same time, don’t i have the right to protect myself too? we don’t talk about that enough—how emotional erosion can kill you just as surely as illness. i wasn’t trying to escape responsibility. i was trying to escape becoming a bitter, hollow version of myself. but now, every time someone says her name or i hear that she's been in and out of the doctor’s office again, it hits me like a sucker punch. do i reach out? would that help her—or just help me feel better? is guilt something that fades with time, or something you carry like a scar?

i guess what i really want to ask is—how do you know when you’ve done enough? when does choosing yourself stop feeling like abandonment? i read somewhere that “self-respect is the fruit of discipline,” and i’m trying to believe that choosing to walk away was an act of discipline, not betrayal. but most days, the line is blurry as hell. i keep showing up for work, paying the bills, calling our grown kids, pretending like everything is fine. but underneath, it’s like dragging a bag of wet cement everywhere i go. maybe guilt isn’t something to get rid of. maybe it’s just proof that you still give a damn. but it’d be nice if it didn’t show up every time i sit alone in a quiet room. so yeah—if you’ve ever had to choose between staying loyal and staying alive inside, how did you stop feeling like the villain in your own story?

so i've talked about a person twice before, first vent she was Imogen second vent she was known as just A. And I like her. Like REALLY like her and idek why.

But now...

I have another friend, I've also vented about her before, in which she was known as Katy. Yesterday we were chilling during dismissal as school, she had stolen one of my earbuds and I think I had Everywhere Everything by Noah Kahan playing... either that or Kirari by Fujii Kaze. and she had stolen my hand, like she always does (it's just a normal thing, she likes to hold my hand) and she kissed me on the hand which she always does it's normal I'm used to that...

then she kissed me on the cheek.

That is not something she always does.

I think I might like her now.

but she's taken.

so now I like two people who are BOTH TAKEN.

why is it that I always like people who are taken....

i'm 23M, and i really dont know where to begin. i'd say for the most part my life is pretty good. i have goals and dreams and im passionate about them, but it seems like when i reach a goal or something good happens to me im so burned out from all the previous things i cannot learn to feel truly happy about them. its like im never satisfied with the life i live. i love and cherish life deeply because i know one day there wont be a tomorrow and everything is done. but its seems like mentally im trapped, mentally i cannot learn to appreciate the things i have going on for me. Recently i was told that i would be getting my own full time job position at the end of the month. others happy for me ecstatic even. here i am stuck in this neutral state. like yeah im happy but then i think ? am i really? and then i started to go down a dark mental road. the two things i desire in life is to be in love and to be financially free. two things i know i can achieve but its seems they are never at the same time.... i met someone recently and the energy has been so good and the vibes were awesome to the point where i was nervous/awkward because i really couldnt believe it. things were great until a day or so ago shit just completely 180s the energy is off and i dont get replied to at all. and it angers me because why ? nothing happened from what i know things were great? it makes me so mad because why? why sit here and go throught all this dates and all just to be snubbed. it hurts me because i know the person i am i have morals and good hearted tendencies i would never do wrong unless done wrong. she tells me she manifested me and all of this yet im getting put on the craziest back burner ever... i feel as if im already fed up with it because it seems like time and time again its the same outcome and its like damn am i insane? because its starting to feel like the textbook definition. i know life goes at different paces and im still young but being old and still searching for my one is something i cannot bring myself to do. i feel like im stuck in my head and i have no way to control it. i dont wanna work the hard job for the rest of my life and i dont want to be alone. i know that im not alone because i have people but alone in the sense i have no one to call my own and its the fact that when i find someone its always stripped away from me to the point where i thought i was self sabotaging my relationships. i wish that i knew my fate in world sometimes because it would be enough to just understand that it will be okay in the end. but thats the mystery of the life we live. Life just feels like its becoming boring and just a repeated cycle everyday. wake up, go to work, come home, game, sleep, repeat that shit is boring games arent even fun anymore the thing i loved the most video games are not fun anymore. videos on videos watched to feel nothing but a laugh here and there. and then back in my head. theres no escape from it and i cant take it i just want to be happy. i have exciting news coming friday but im scared that when that time comes itll be another cycle of delayed gratification if thats even the statement for it. i just want to believe that im just going through the motions but im starting to think its more than that. i just want it to stop, im tired of restarting , im tired of the same workplace drama. im tired of the same thing i meet someone things go great it crashes. im tired of the life i live continuously being a dread because im stuck in the same cycle. im tired of saying im gonna do and never do. i just sometimes honestly want to give the fuck up but i know i cant. last night i thought about killing myself as i looked in the corner of my room because it all feels the same nothing makes me happy. i can't even begin to know what happiness is anymore i thought meeting this girl would light that fire in me again because i would know what its like to be wanted to feel loved. to be happy. but i never even got the chance too. my past 3 situationships have done nothing but dig me deeper in the ground. i just want to amount to something. i just want to know what its like to love someone and they love you back. i just want to be able to wake up and both my physical and mental are happy. this life is so precious and i just wonder is this how my life is meant to be spent? why is it like this? when do me and my people start to win? being counted out hurts more than anything it hurts when it feels like not even your friends believe in you because thats what your brain tells you. i know my life has a purpose and i know that all blessings must be counted no matter how big or how small. but im just stuck. im stuck feeling like shit builds up just to crash and burn i hate that my mind is so creative yet so deceptive i hate that it feels like my biggest enemy is myself and i dont know how to defeat him. i want to just be happy again.

Apparently here is me and my mom, who fights for the smallest things ever. We just fought today in the clothing store because my style of fashion is way too different from hers.

I know what’s going to happen later on, she’s gonna yell at me, and tell me it’s my fault— but why? It’s not my fault that I like simple clothes, not those complex colorful designs that she tells me to wear

Right. She’s my guardian so she gets to decide who was wrong and who was right— I mean she’s always right

But how to I tell her that she was wrong this time? She’s mad for absolutely no reason

My mom recently told me to “save myself” and get out of my relationship — essentially, to run. Ever since, I can’t stop thinking about it.

My partner and I have been together for just over 4 years. He proposed about a year ago. We’ve had highs and lows, but now I’m wondering if the bad outweighs the good.

He has long-standing mental health struggles: specifically, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He’s been slowly learning to manage them better. And to be clear, I don’t think mental illness excuses poor behavior, but I do believe it adds context.

I also have my own issues — I have an anxious attachment style, and while I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything else, I know I carry some of my own trauma.

My mom knows about some of the incidents we’ve gone through. Sometimes, when he’s triggered or overwhelmed, he shifts into a cold, mean, and distant version of himself. He feels like a different person — which makes sense, given the DID. I try my best to support him and stay patient, but when these episodes last for days, it really affects me. I stop feeling loved or even seen.

He also sometimes talks to new people — sometimes romantically, sometimes not. We’ve had an open relationship on and off because his personality changes have made consistent boundaries complicated. But it’s hard not to feel insecure or like I’m being replaced, even though he says he loves me deeply and always will.

When he shuts down, he leaves. He won’t respond to texts or calls for hours or whole evenings. During the worst of these, I’ve called my mom in tears. Once, I asked him about someone he was messaging, and he exploded. He called me stupid, said I wasn’t “evolved enough” for him, and that he needed someone who trusts and motivates him. That crushed me — I was only asking for reassurance.

After these moments, he usually comes back, apologizes, and says he’s working on changing. He’s loving again, and we go back to “normal.” But it’s a cycle. The dark side always returns.

My mom thinks this is manipulation. She says he’s using me — I pay for most of our life right now, since he’s in school. She believes he apologizes just enough to keep me around because I support him financially and emotionally. She hasn’t seen the best parts of him… but she also hasn’t seen the worst. And if she knew everything, I think she’d try to physically get me out of here.

So now I’m left wondering:

• Is he being emotionally manipulative and possibly abusive?

• Or is this just a deeply broken person doing his best and deserving patience?

• Is my mom being overprotective, or is she seeing something I’ve been too close to recognize?

I’m stuck between wanting to support the person I love and wondering if staying means abandoning myself. What would you do?

I’m currently in family therapy with my dad, his new wife, my sister, and my new stepsiblings. My dad remarried two years ago following my mom's death, which means I now live primarily in one household. Adjusting to this blended family setup has been less than thrilling for me, despite understanding that the choice wasn’t mine to make.

Ever since my stepsiblings—who all suffer from severe food allergies—came into our lives, many aspects of our routine have drastically changed. For instance, a beloved tradition of visiting the local noodle bar to celebrate academic events is now off-limits because the menu doesn’t accommodate their dietary restrictions. Even simple pleasures like bringing ice cream home or whipping up a sandwich have been curtailed; now only my dad and his wife handle all the cooking.

Birthdays are another domain where adjustments have been made. The dining out choices now cater solely to what’s safe for my stepsiblings, sidelining my sister's and my preferred eating spots. My dad often expresses gratitude towards these changes in the spirit of family unity.

However, a few months back, my dad’s wife picked up on the lack of enthusiasm from my sister and me. Our disengagement sparked a decision to initiate family therapy, prompted by noticing that my sister had excluded her and her kids from some family photos she displayed in her room. Once therapy began, we spent session after session dissecting the issues, with my dad frequently championing the perks of our new family dynamics.

The tipping point arrived during a recent session when the therapist inquired if I was genuinely okay with these changes. That question unleashed all my pent-up frustrations. I vehemently expressed how much I disliked these changes and how they felt unjust. I highlighted how no one considered my preferences during birthday celebrations and how restrictive these new rules felt. My outburst covered the entire session, oscillating between my rant and responses to the therapist’s questions.

Both my dad and his wife were displeased with my outburst—him for my tone and her because her children overheard the passionate objections, which inadvertently revealed that I had never embraced these changes. She seemed unnerved by my monopolization of the therapy time, although she also appeared to acknowledge my feelings to an extent.

If this episode unfolded on a reality TV show, the reaction from viewers might be split. Some might sympathize with my need to maintain certain traditions and others could think that I was harsh and disrespectful. Reality shows thrive on portraying drama and intense emotions, so my outburst likely would have been highlighted as a pivotal, controversial moment, sparking debates and social media buzz.

Am I wrong for voicing my discomfort in this situation?

Hey, so I just wanted to share some bad experiences with stress with school and relationships, so I have trust issues but I feel like no body know that because they always tell me to trust them, then also school full on stresses me out because we get a bunch of work piled on to everything we have to do and then by the end of the day I just feel very drained and feel like I can't do anything but then my parents get upset at me for having a messy room, but I don't have any motivation to do anything at the moment because I'm constantly being told to be 100% honest with everyone but I can't do that because they'll just tell everything to someone else and I just don't know what to do now.

Does anyone remember this? https://iiwiars.com/spiritual-journey-stories/i-hate-this

Yeah, update now.

Can't you see those teachers can be petty?! I bet my shitty idiotic dance teacher only said that to mom because he felt pity. Fuck pity! I'm not as weak as you think, bastard cunt! And those kids may be tired, but the more they know me, the more comfortable they'll get conspiring I'm a horrible dancer and laugh in some competition, if I'll even get in one! I'll pretend to not give it my all, it's better than GARBAGE any day. He's lying to my face to sound like a nice guy and it's not working. He may say I did well for a beginner in an advanced tier, but I don't believe in beginner's luck or any good luck. My scheme will work. I'll just not try and he'll kick me out. I can do a half-ass job and call it a day, and then week, then a month, until he thinks I don't care and he suggests I leave. Good idea, since people are untrustworthy "species". He may say good, I smell "I'm saying this to drain money from your slut mother". Not so fast, liar cheat! You yourself said I'm allowed to not care! If I could burn the school, the music place, and my classmates, I would. And I'd salt the Earth away for extra measure and reside on Mars, if aliens do exist. But I can't. I just wish life was still and I was more free.

I went to the class and unfortunately put effort. I obviously wasn't matching the kids and they somehow didn't laugh, but it makes me more suspicious. More suspicious they weren't laughing because they thought I was bad and wanted to laugh, but didn't for respect. I told it to my brother earlier, and he said, "They won't! I see grown adults come in piano class and they can't even play Merry Had A Little Lamb, and I don't laugh because I know they'll get there!" You're 11, you haven't felt the worst feelings yet. Instead, that teacher was again nice to me and being a bit silly to his older students, and saying they were all like me when they started. What bullshit, they wanted to be here, I said yes because mom insisted, and she's a fugly rat for that! Very FUGLY! FUCKING UGLY!! She wanted to set me up for failure! She wants to see me become my worst self! I feel more clearer now, more than I ever did. The world is a planet of smog and salt, the people are monsters of Hell, me and the minority the survivors. I may feel a pull where if I do something I enjoy I feel kinder and sweeter, but that's the girl I hate being. I hate switching to that weak version of me, I want her to go away, shed off. She's weak and dumb. Do you not see the pissy world I live in? I have to fight for my life, until I die. You say yourself no one's good here. I don't feel weak like those witch doctors say "stress" does, I feel stronger, godly. Kindness and being nice, even feeling nice and regretting hurting others, it's my weakness from me. I need to improve that and not feel it. Nice people are a lie. No one is genuinely sweet, they're all doing it to seem nice, when really they haven't awakened their innermost selves, the true "disgusting" selves. I need to learn how to shed my outer fake self, the me I hate being who loves family, who likes science and history, who likes art, who likes cheesecake, it's a fake society-created shell. I wish I could talk to her to tell her to fuck off. I'm regressing, into my weakest form!

I have this brother who is my twin. Everyone looks up to him, he has perfect looks, personality, work ethic and grades etc. But no one realises who he actually is. He's only a selfish prick who puts himself higher than anyone else. He's a raging misogynist and racist. A typical teenager boy.

I remember in the past, he used to beat me up at home during lockdown when our parents were at work. He used to punch me at full strength in to stomach and he used to kick my head every time I didn't listen to him/beat him at tests in school. Ultimately, this lead to me almost failing tests as my grades slipped in fear that he'd beat me up and that I was essentially conditioned to listen him at every word and defending him for his actions at my own expense because at that point, I would rather be punished by someone else.

Once I got into highschool (we went to different schools), I could finally achieve my own goals without interference until I realised that after a few years of almost failing classes, it took a toll on compulsory skills in school such as maths and English.

I always dreaded coming back home until some time had passed and I realised my brother seemingly changed. He was nicer, more composed, less envious. I took this for granted until he started blaming me for him losing all his matches online. He ended up beating me more, and I complained to our parents after I had finally built up some courage from school. But my parents never believed me, because 'how could a perfect boy like him beat his lesser achieving sister like that?'. They called me a liar and a shame to the family for not being able to defend myself & for being 'weak'.

After that a few years later, my brother wanted me to hang out with him, so I did, without any question. My brother changed, he didn't hit me as much and he actually talked to me. At the time, I genuinely thought it was so nice of him to invite me, but then I realised only now that he invited me to make himself look better and to embarrass me.

Nowadays, it's just less of the abuse and more me doing everything for him without question or request because I'm too scared to do anything to offend him. I think I might have ptsd from him but oh well.

I wish I was him, I'm so envious of him.