Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

i've always been told i'm too skinny; like, what does that even mean? i mean, can a person ever be too skinny? it's not like i'm starving myself or anything. i'm just seventeen. so let me set the scene: i stare into my closet and think about all the clothes that look weird because they hang off my frame like i'm some sort of hanger; everything meant to fit snug and cute, instead, it looks like a cheap mannequin display. i'm a girl who loves fashion magazines, but every article about the size zero models makes me feel inadequate and yet too adequate at the same time. it's crazy, isn't it? instead of being happy with my body, i'm constantly criticized by strangers, "eat a cheeseburger" they say with a laugh that tastes as sour as unwarranted judgment. i roll my eyes at those ignorant remarks, but deep down, it leaves a mark, like a permanent tattoo of self-doubt. even my doctor, who's supposed to be reassuring, goes on about my body mass index, like "girl, i know it's below average, but i eat". it's not like i want to be this way, trust me if i could add a few pounds in a blink, i totally would. have you seen how people treat those with curves? like they’ve discovered the holy grail of acceptance; what a world we live in. in gym class, i'm that girl who avoids the scales and cringes at the sight of a tape measure. the reaction from others is usually a mix of concern and envy, both equally unsettling. ever tried sitting at a dinner table with someone who scrutinizes your plate? "is that all you're eating?" – gosh, yes Karen, that’s all i’m eating today, move on! i can't help but feel like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" where nothing is just right. why is it acceptable to comment on someone being thin but taboo to mention excess weight? what sort of double standard is this society serving us? casually people assume my life is perfect, just because i'm a size that can squeeze into whatever's on the sale rack. my friends talk about thigh gaps and diet fads, but i’d kill just to fill out a pair of jeans properly. dude, ever heard of "skinny shaming"? it's real, and it sucks. the body positivity movement is powerful, and i believe in it, but hey, it’s selective sometimes. everyone rallies for "all shapes and sizes", until it’s a shape and size they think doesn't fit into their narrative. i get it though – i'm not complaining about my health or anything, i know i'm lucky, but can we talk about how i feel for a moment? once, during a biology lecture about metabolism rates, i flinched at the professor’s words, imagining the class thinking i’m some anomaly. when did this competitive, comparative analysis become our new norm? no one seems to grasp that metabolism isn't just another word for magic tricks, it's basic biology, yet i feel judged by my own cellular processes. how insane is that? magazine covers might say "thin is in," but try being seventeen and "in" feels like living under a microscope where every move is critiqued, not celebrated. everyone wants me to meet their subjective ideal instead of accepting the fluctuating, unpredictable human form i house. sometimes i wonder if it’ll ever change, or if i’ll just become more desensitized to the pokes and jabs over time. maybe i've been quoting too much Sartre, who knows, i’m just trying to navigate this minefield called adolescence with a sense of humor and a thick skin thinner than i’d like it to be. at least i know i’m not alone in this, the internet forums prove that – lots of underweight teens encouraging and sharing tips and stories to empower one another. we need more of that solidarity, don't you think? so, what's the verdict, internet stranger? any revolutionary tips for a girl who's frustrated, tired of being quantified by caloric intake and body fat percentage when really, she just wants enough room to be herself? after all, life’s complicated enough without having to wage a war with the scale every morning. 🥺

He should change his name , give me clues and also give me specific clues so I will know it is him hahahaha

I hurt my friends seriously and now they likely can’t stand me. They still follow me on Instagram and are friends with me on discord, not to mention reply to my messages on Instagram but it’s sparingly.

I will be frank, I have serious attachment issues that reared their ugly head. I had introduced them and was jealous they got close and lashed out on them unfairly. I honestly didn’t know about these issues but after doing introspection I figured that out.

We were in a writing community that the three of us ran, I created it, on discord. I took a hiatus saying I’d be back in January but every night I am anxious and can’t sleep. I am irritable, jealous, depressed, and on the verge of tears everyday. I don’t vent to them like I used to, and I don’t talk about my full pains bc I feel like they’ll think I’m judging them. But idk what to do.

I feel like they hate me and would be better off without me. And I love and cherish them so much I am constantly beating myself up.

Four months back, I found myself jobless after an unexpected layoff from a tech company. Having always taken pride in my work, this was a major blow to my self-esteem, and I've been grappling with a sort of identity crisis, discussing these issues with my therapist. However, I've always disliked idleness and yearned for the structure my routine job provided, which pushed me to start applying for new roles diligently. After several interviews that didn't result in job offers, I finally had a promising opportunity with a company I admired.

About a week ago, I received an invitation to participate in a time-sensitive written test as part of the job application process. Knowing my tendency to get nervous under pressure, I prepared intensively. I also emphasized to my husband, Henry, the importance of complete solitude during the hour-long test—I needed that duration uninterrupted. He seemed to have understood the crucial nature of my request.

On the day of the test, I secluded myself in our home office, the door firmly shut, hoping to ward off any disruptions. As the test progressed and the final fifteen minutes loomed, my anxiety peaked. Despite the intense preparation, I was under immense pressure to perform well. That's when Henry burst into the room muttering, "sorry ignore me ignore me." Panic set in as I tried to focus on my work, and I immediately asked him to leave. Instead, he began rummaging through the desk drawers, further invading my already frazzled concentration. Overwhelmed, I finally snapped, raising my voice to demand he leave immediately, which he did with a dramatic door slam.

After completing the test, I sought him out to apologize, explaining the stress I was under and reminding him of our agreement. However, Henry felt I had overreacted and couldn't grasp why I was making "such a big deal" out of his brief interruption. Now, over a day has passed, and he hasn’t let it go, still simmering with resentment.

In a scenario like this, had it been captured on a reality TV show, the scene might have been dramatically amplified. The cameras would have focused on the tension in the room, possibly even replaying the moment of my outburst multiple times. Viewers might have seen confessionals where each of us explained our side, adding to the drama. Reality shows thrive on these moments of intense emotion and misunderstanding, often blowing them up to entertain the audience. One might wonder if the audience would sympathize with my need for professional calm or lambaste me for my reaction under stress...

Imagine how many messages have been written and deleted, how many things have gone unsaid? How many songs have been placed in the notes, right there and right for that person? For only that person to see? Surely many... Has everyone done this? Today I was watching Brazilian films and looking at blogs, abandoned in 2014 and 2017, and I don't know, I got thoughtful. How many teenagers aren't just like us? They have the same ideas, tastes... How many teenagers haven't grown up and become those boring adults? I keep thinking about it. I wish I was a teenager forever... forever young! Is 30 really the age of success? By then, I want to have a career taking off, and MAYBE a decent boyfriend. But that doesn't matter... Do you think we should date at 15? And in adolescence in general, I see girls showing off their boyfriends on social media with cute trends and I keep thinking about it... Does dating make you lose your youth? I think you should have balance, but having a boyfriend must be really cool! I've been with guys, but I've never really dated, wow, have you ever thought about that? I guess I'm not the only one who thinks about it? Well, at 18, I think about it.

Can you hear me? Or am I mute? Can you see me? Or am I gone? Do you know me? Or have I changed? Can you find me? Or is it too late?

It’s too late. I can’t find myself. I have changed. I don’t know me. I am gone. I can’t see myself anymore. I am mute. I cannot scream.

GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE

There is no escape.

This has been my fate from the beginning.

I am gone.

Who am I?

Do you know?

Am I who I was?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I’m scared.

Who am I?

nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left

I don’t know you.

Do you know me?

Was I ever ok?

This body isn’t mine.

It isn’t theirs.

It isn’t ourse.

It doesn’t belong to us.

I prob look insane rn but can i argue with that i literally am lolz

My parents are good people but it’s just that I can’t feel that spark of familiarity with them even though they are my biological parents. And I just don’t know what to do

okay so this isn't a sad story or anything but I just need a few gift ideas for my boyfriendddd. our 1 year anniversary is coming up but I have no clue what to get him. the past months we've been together, I got him all the gifts he's wanted. I've asked him what he wants but he says he isn't sure himself on what he wants. I already planned out a date at a restaurant and a lil picnic date at the park but I feel like it might not be enough. does anyone have any other ideas for what else I could do to make it really special for him? :')

I don’t even know where to start. Lately, I’ve been feeling so off, like no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to shake this heaviness. Everything feels wrong, and I keep asking myself, why am I so unhappy? On paper, my life isn’t bad. I have a decent job, friends, a place to live. But none of it feels like enough, and it’s driving me crazy.

Every morning, I wake up and feel like I’m already losing the day before it even begins. I hit snooze on my alarm way too many times, not because I’m tired (though I usually am) but because I don’t want to get up. The thought of going to work, dealing with people, and pretending everything’s fine is just... exhausting. By the time I actually drag myself out of bed, I’m already late, which makes me even more frustrated with myself.

At work, it’s the samee routine every day. Emails, meetings, more emails. Everyone around me seems fine—like they’re just going through the motions without a problem. But for me, every task feels like climbing a mountain. I can’t focus, and when I finally get something done, it’s like, “Who cares?” It’s not like anyone notices anyway.

Even my social life feels hollow. I have friends, and we hang out sometimes, but it’s like I’m not really there. We’ll go to dinner, and while they’re all laughing and catching up, I’m just sitting there, forcing a smile and nodding along. Half the time, I don’t even hear what they’re saying because my mind is somewhere else—usually spiraling into some weird loop of self-doubt and overthinking. Then I go home and wonder why I feel so lonely when I was literally just surrounded by people.

My family tries to check in sometimes, but it’s hard to talk to them about this stuff. They always ask, “What’s wrong?” but I don’t have an answer. It’s not like there’s one big thing I can point to and say, “This is why I’m unhappy.” It’s just this constant, nagging feeling that something’s missing. When I try to explain that, they either look at me like I’m being dramatic or tell me I just need to “think positive” and “be grateful.” I get it—they’re trying to help—but it makes me feel even worse, like I’m ungrateful for the life I have.

The worst part is, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to have hobbies, things I was passionate about. I loved drawing, hiking, and binge-watching trashy reality TV (ironically, right?). But now? Even the thought of doing those things feels exhausting. I don’t have the energy, and when I try to force myself, it just feels empty. It’s like I’ve lost the spark I used to have, and I don’t know how to get it back.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m just broken. Like, maybe this is just who I am—someone who’s always going to feel unhappy no matter what. I’ve tried journaling, meditating, even exercising (though I gave up on that pretty quickly). Nothing seems to work. I’ve thought about going to therapy, but the idea of opening up to a stranger about all this feels overwhelming. What if they can’t help me either? Then what?

I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Is it my job? My relationships? Am I just not cut out for this whole “adulting” thing? I see people my age on social media traveling, getting engaged, starting businesses, and I can’t help but compare myself to them. It feels like everyone else has it figured out, and I’m just... stuck.

hat people would think if my life was a reality show?? Would they see me as the sad, boring character who’s always complaining for no reason? Or would they feel sorry for me, like, “Wow, she really needs to get her life together”? Honestly, I don’t even know which one is worse. Part of me thinks they’d just change the channel because, let’s face it, who wants to watch someone mope around all day?

If anyone out there feels like this too, I’d love to know how you deal with it. how do you stop feeling like you’re just going through the motions? How do you figure out what’s making you so unhappy when everything looks fine on the surface? Because right now, I feel like I’m stuck in this endless cycle, and I don’t know how to break out of it.

I've been feeling this for quite a while..it's like getting worse and worse. The mechanisms I turn to in order to not kill myself hasn't worked. I've been passively suicidal for months but I think I'm at the stage where I wanna plan. Idk, I've been trying not to be this way. I've been trying to look for friends, take care of myself, have goals, do school, whatever I'm supposed to do. Yet my mental illness is still here, coping without solving the actual issue. It doesn't matter how clean I am or how toned my muscles get.

I've seen others have support systems during dark times like this, idk how they did that but I've tried and all I really got was romantic or sexual attention, I don't post myself at all so idk why. I just wanna rest and pass way. I could fly. I wanna go in a peaceful way tho. I should probably go chat a hotline but idk if this is really an emergency, Its not like I have a plan yet or a way to kill myself yet. I've just been feeling like this everyday and idk how to stop.

If anyone has advice or reasons to live then do share. 🩷🖤

Recently, my partner, Tom and I enjoyed a night out and when it was time to head back, I proposed that we grab a taxi. The fare was about £20, which seemed reasonable to me for a quick and safe return within 20 minutes. Surprisingly, Tom disagreed, suggesting that it was extravagant and insisted that we opt for public transportation instead. The bus or train would not only take over an hour but traveling so late could also expose us to unnecessary risks. This sparked a bit of a row between us as I accused him of being overly frugal. His stance felt a bit overly cautious about spending, but am I being too dismissive of his concerns? Isn't it reasonable to prioritize quick and safe travel especially late at night?

Adding to this, imagine if our little disagreement was featured on a reality show, where every move and decision faces public scrutiny. How might viewers react? Would they side with Tom, praising his thriftiness as a virtue, or might they support my point of view, seeing my insistence on taking a cab as a reasonable concern for safety and convenience? The additional pressure and possibly judgmental eyes of an audience could have intensified our discussion, making it an even larger spectacle. Reality shows thrive on these everyday dilemmas, blowing them up for dramatic effect. But beyond the cameras, these are the real discussions that many couples face.

I am really curious to see what others think about this common dispute between practicality and security. Is not wanting to navigate the late-night public transit system making me too demanding, or is my concern valid? Would love some input on this!

You know, I've always been a little awkward when it comes to talking to people, and now that I've started my first job at 22, you'd think I'd have figured it out by now. But no, socializing at work is still a mountain I struggle to climb, primarily because of my autism. It's like trying to decipher a language that I'm not entirely sure I understand, yet everyone else seems to speak it fluently. I see my coworkers engrossed in conversations about weekend plans, sharing memes, or even just working through the lunch break together, and I can't help but feel like an outsider looking in. I genuinely want to be part of this camaraderie, to share a laugh over a coffee run or engage in small talk like it's second nature. But man, sometimes it just feels like an insurmountable hurdle. Have you ever tried to speak up in a meeting, only to overthink every word and end up saying nothing at all? That's me most days. I remember reading somewhere that "conversation is an art that can be learned," and I'm holding onto that hope like it's my lifeline; it's about baby steps, right?

Yet, beyond my apprehensions, I've had moments that give me a glimmer of hope, little anecdotes that remind me that I can do this. Just the other day, I saw an opportunity while we were in the break room. They were talking about a Netflix series I've actually seen—one of those rare moments where my nerdy interests intersect with more mainstream ones. So, I dove in, cracking a joke about a twist from the show, and to my surprise, they actually laughed—genuine laughter, not just the polite kind. It was one of those small victories that can make a guy's entire week. I mean, who'd have thought that my encyclopedic knowledge of a Netflix plot would become my inroad into a conversation? Still, I'm trying to find more of those moments, where I can contribute something that doesn't feel forced or rehearsed. It's all about finding that sweet spot between contribution and comfort without feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of social interaction. Sometimes, I wonder if it's worth it to stress over fitting in when one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maybe that's a hint that I need to adapt my own viewpoint rather than stress over societal norms, you know?

I love this guy so much. I love him so much that I wish he would understand that it's torture to be left in the dark about how he feels. We got into a situation where I was honestly being very emotional and hysterical for no good reason. I asked him if he would ever tell me if he had an issue with me or anything that he ever wanted to talk about so that I wouldn't spiral so badly again and he told me that he would never. I was shocked to say the least. It's important for me that there is communication in a relationship and I feel like we have awesome conversations when we are just talking, but we can never sit down and have a conversation about anything important. He internalizes a lot of things and I feel very cautious of what I say around him because he remembers very little comments and brings them up when we fight about anything. I match his energy and I keep things to myself and when I eventually explode and have horrible reactions he either just brushes off my emotions with "ugh men" or he talks about how he could've never known I felt that way and that I should talk instead of keep things to myself, when he is the worst at doing that. He makes me feel like I'm insane or dramatic and he often calls me dramatic, but I don't know if I really am or if I'm normal? We have both had bad experiences with dating in the past, so of course we're gonna have our baggage, but I really want this to work. He recently has talked about moving back to his home state with his mom and how he wants to get a one bedroom apartment and I was afraid that he meant alone and my emotions are clear on my face usually so he saw and he told me that of course he meant with me, but I really feel like I can't trust anything he tells me. He is very good at putting up a facade, it's kind of chilling how he can do that honestly because one day he was talking to an old friend and being very chill and laughing with them and immediately after that he just straight up cut them off entirely. He had reasons why he did that and I understood that he felt uncomfortable with that friend for a long time, but it put a big fear in my heart that I would wake up and he would just be gone one day. How would I even explain that to people? I have been through something similar with an ex that I had in high school where we stopped talking and he broke up with me and blocked me. I feel like this is worse though because I am not even sure if he would TELL me before just straight up blocking me.

All the time i always do my best to reach out and build connections with people. But most of it i just got ignored until one dah i reached the point where i’m so dont with building the connection with people and suddenly people think i am the bad one for not initiating things and reach out first? Like i’m jusy so tired and honestly gave up with interpersonal relationships

Sorry in advance for my bad English

People often told me that they wished they had my parents because im allowed to do so much stuff but in reality, im not that happy with my family at all. If I were to make a top ten of things that make me happy, my family would be at the bottom.

Sure, they buy me stuff, are kind of supportive in my choices but I don’t feel safe or comfortable enough to be myself. I hide clothes I know they’ll judge me on, don’t show them the stuff I make or things I’m passionate about because i know they’ll laugh at me or judge me for it.

For example, I recently went to a concert and had a very beautiful outfit. I was too scared to show them so I didn’t until he got home from the concert and their reaction was just like expected. They told me it was lame, that I looked ridiculous while all I wore was a dress with some tights and a headband. I didn’t get it. I missed the fun I had at the concert and my friends and it instantly ruined my mood. I cried after that.

At school, I can be myself. I show my friends all I’m passionate about and I don’t feel pressured to hide things. My teachers are very nice, I tell them a lot too but when I get home, I want to go away again. I didn’t wish I lived another life, I just wished I had another family.

And please don’t tell me that they’re just trying.. that parents get tired too or get angry sometimes too because it’s not sometimes it’s everyday and it makes me tired and sad. I don’t remember a day where I felt genuinely happy to be home.