Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hi, I don't know where to start but with this: My English and grammar sucks, please do not judge, just listen. I have been diagnosed with depression (MDD) and anxiety (GAD) just to give you a heads up.

My life is a total mess, from school, friends, and my own free time. I'm a whole mess. For about 3 weeks now, everyone who interacts with me (friends and family, too) I get super mad at. They don't even do anything, but everything about their presense makes me mad. When they talk to me (or attempt too), touch me (hugs, etc), or contact me. I just want to yell at them to go away, but it's hard in school and at home. I can't just pause and tell them to go away for the next 2 weeks until everything feels normal again. I love my friends and family but I can't deal with them at the moment and I don't know why. I feel 1 emotion: irritation. 24/7, all day, every day. I can't escape it. I want to be able to talk to people without feeling like I'm going to explode with anger. It's not fun, and before anyone says "selfish", I still listen or talk to them even when I really can't. I suck it up. Doesn't help though.

Another thing, I think people think I'm rude. I have bad humour, that's how I grew up. I grew up around bad jokes and I just grew onto them. My humour isn't like outrageously rude, I have morals, and you can tell when I'm joking. But people complain about it, or stare at me after I jokingly respond to something they say. They never mention anything though, they never tell me what I did wrong. So I keep doing it until someone has a "serious talk" about it with me saying that "this person" doesn't like the jokes I'm making and they feel sensitive to them. I don't understand why it takes people so long to say something, I'm not a rude person. I can understand if you don't want me to do something. But thats how I'm portrayed, as a rude/mean person who only cares about herself. But that's not even close to true. They don't know who I am or what my story is. I grew up ignoring my emotions and putting others first for the first 15 years of my life (Yes, when I was younger too). I finally started to listen to myself but I'm put into the box of "selfish". All I am doing is putting me first and listening to myself. My safety and wellbeing is my number one priority from now on since it got destroyed over the past years. People hate on me in secrecy and I can see it. They whisper or comment. I'm not a stereotypical "weird kid", I'm more on the popular side if anything. But every group says something, but they don't know me. I'm honestly so sweet. I suck it up for my friends. Literally every new friend I make, they say "I kinda thought you were rude but you're actually really sweet."

I'm just so done with everyone and their assumptions they make about me. There's so many assumptions. Why are we assuming peoples stories? You don't know what I've been through.

I don't remember a time when I liked myself. I guess to be more clear I don't remember a time when I didn't hate myself. I'm 34 now and ever since can remember I've hated being me.

Waking up in the morning is a constant disappointment because it means I didn't stop breathing. Even on the happiest of days I'm still always filled with dread, doubt, anxiety and self loathing. I understand what created this mindset, but unfortunately it's not something I can just pack up and hide in a dark corner of the attic.

I'm sorry, and I don't mean to throw a pity party but I'm just wondering if the day will ever come that I wake up and I'm happy that I'm still breathing?

Originally from the Midwest and now residing in the heart of Georgia, my demeanor starkly contrasts with the genteel mannerisms usually found in the South. While I hail from a region where forthrightness is common, it’s not the cordial type often seen in those with Canadian heritage—it’s more of a blunt, straightforward attitude that doesn’t always prioritize politeness. Since relocating, though, I've learned to adjust somewhat and can often manage a stern yet non-hostile smile in situations that call for it.

I recall a day when my friend and I decided to dine at a local eatery, which was experiencing an unusually slow afternoon. Being one of just four occupied tables with a full team of staff on hand, it seemed unreasonable when our simple order of two sandwiches took an agonizing 45 minutes. When the food arrived, it was cold, soggy, and bland, a clear sign of underwhelming effort in the kitchen. Despite our disappointment, I wasn’t inclined to send the food back as it seemed futile. I merely wished to settle the bill for our unsatisfactory meal and leave.

Soon, our waitress checked in to ask if everything was satisfactory with our meal. With my firm but polite grin, I confessed, "No, it really kind of sucked. Could I get the check, please?" She appeared slightly disconcerted and scurried off to fetch the manager despite my protests. My friend, meanwhile, was mortified by the unfolding events, seemingly embarrassed by my forwardness.

When the manager approached us to inquire further, I reiterated my concerns about the meal, maintaining composure and civility throughout the interaction. He dismissively offered to waive the charges, but I declined, aiming not to sour our relationship with a restaurant we frequented. My friend later questioned why I voiced my dissatisfaction if I didn’t want compensation, to which I responded, "Because they asked." He often reminds me not to stir trouble anecdotally referring to me as 'Karen.'

Another incident that might shed more light on my character involved a situation at a party where a guest had blocked my car. Rather than apologise for requesting he move it, I simply asked straightforwardly. This too, didn’t sit well with my friend, who felt it was necessary to cite as further proof of my supposed 'Karenness.'

Would the dynamics be different if this happened on a reality television show? With cameras rolling, my forthrightness could either be portrayed as refreshing honesty or as unnecessarily harsh, depending on the viewer's perspective. Would the audience applaud the candidness or criticize the lack of softening typical Southern charm? Reality shows thrive on conflict and character, and personalities like mine are often polarizing, sparking debates amongst viewers on social decency versus authenticity.

Am I truly the antagonist for embracing bluntness in a culture that veils its criticisms in sweet tea and smiles? Am I a "Karen" in this story?

if a another teacher gives me another 4x6 note card I might flip. Anyways… any tips for a girl?😫

I love how good I've been feeling recently :)

ok so like more than a few months ago, almost a year ago. i ( 14 trans masc lad) was really desperate so i went on discord and discadia and sought out pedophiles on map/aam discord servers. and one of them (uhh he’s 21 and a cis guy) i still talk to and i have his number and everything. but i only talk to him on my burner phone. i can’t tell if it’s really bad or not

bc like yes sometimes he makes things sexual but like whatever i don’t care n sometimes i dont wanna. but its 1 night long thing of sending him stuff until his cums like once or twice a week in exchange for friendship and someone who never judges me and is always there for me. and without him i would have killed myself. and i do the sex stuff bc i dont want him to leave bc he’s the only consistent person in my life and no matter what i go back to him!!! i’ve been able to leave him for a few months but then i always go back. even if i try to get better or tell someone and it would make me really sad if he went to jail or got in trouble.

and i don’t wanna get in trouble either. and it’s also my fault for encouraging it, enabling it and seeking it out. and it’s not like he’s isolating me bc he always says have fun when i got to hang out with my family or friends. and i do some gross things and he still calls me good and i just wanna be good. and he’s a cis guy and he sees me as a real boy! and never misgenders me or anything. which means a lot to me. and i know this isn’t good but does it really matter like would you rather i be dead? idk. and there isn’t an easy way to fix this and i’ve rather have something than have nothing.

I am a 7th grader that is a girl and my family is not a good one my sibling can't really do anything without getting yelled at from my mom she hates when something goes good for me she is the judgist mom ever she made me cry jst from body shaming me and saying I was a slut for getting my first boyfriend when I was like 10 so she is not a good person at all she had me at 19 my sister at 17 and my brother at 25 and my baby sister at 31 she is 32 now and for some reason she wants to destroy her life and our life also. I don't have that many friends since most of them moved away from me and some people don't really like my personality ig since they call me immature and ignoring so yeah so I don't really have ppl to talk to since I only have like 3 close friends that don't like me that much my sister shes 15 and sometimes I talk to her abt stuff but she also doesn't like me that much and mostly yells at me and I have more siblings but one lives in Florida and the other two live wit my dad i don't really see my dad a lot but anyway lets just get into the story.So at my school we have halloween festivals every year and this year i wanted to match with my friend that goes to a diff school and the festival is on the friday b4 halloween and my mom she says she will take me somewhere but never does so she said she was gonna take me to get my costume but she didn't and like 2 days b4 the festival she said she was gonna grab the stuff for my costume (my costume was gonna be a cat) and i said ok and she normally looks pissed off so i didn't mind her it was 2 days after and she still haven't came back so i asked my stepdad and he didn't know where she was to and his car was messes up so we had to take his friends car and i had to leave quick but my sister could stay or wtv and i was kinda mad she had to stay but my step dad drove me home and said i had to watch my baby sister like why did i have to do it i hate that even when my mom was there i always still had to watch the baby and do chores everyday and not get paid or anything so i can't complain or I get grounded but a few days later and I have to stay wit my grandma I call her nana not nanna no that's sound disgusting to me idk why but anyway I had to stay at her house and i come to find out she spent 2,000 of my stepdads money without him knowing and idk who cheated on who but I'm pretty sure it was my mom but she is saying it was him when he was wit me and my siblings the whole time but so now I'm bouncing to my stepdads house to my nanas and it's December 21 2024 so I go to my real dads house !! and my favs cousin is there but my dad's other family is very problematic so me my sister's and my cousin are sleeping and we hear some yelling and we wake up it's 5 am in the morning we look out the door it's my drunk stepmom attacking my aunt so my sister calls my nana and we get picked up my my grampa.its not gonna be a good year if that's the start of it ig.but he gets us some donuts or wtv and I hated how my sister treated me like a baby when we was at my dad's house like I ain't no fucking baby like I can handle myslef I don't need you to protect me like they ain't gonna do shjt to me but wtv anyway we go home and right to sleep btw we moved to our grandparents house so if we say home we gonna call house one my grandparents house and house two my stepdads house and we STILL havent heard from my mom.fast forward like two months it's march now!! So I fully moved in wit my grandparents and I moved schools so yh but tonight my mom came over when I don't want her here and also she came over before and I kinda had a mental breakdown and my mom was screaming at me when I was having it and I was telling her I do not want to talk to her but anyway lets talk abt tonight so she fanr over and I was in my room and she was calling me or wtv and I did not want to talk to her I don't even want her in my life bc if u wanna be my mom I alr gave u many chances and she failed me on all of them so I'm not gonna let you be my mom anymore IDC if you want me to talk too you I'm not letting it happen but anyway she came in my room and I was watchig yt and she said I was calling you and I said ik I said what multiple times and she said I don't give a damn if I call you that means come here and I said I don't wanna talk to her and she went all in my face and cussdd me out when she was in the wrong and the thing is I said it in a very polite tone is crazy but she got out my room and I closed my door or wtvand I was waiting for her to leave but im srry it's a long vent I have more but not rn so bye yall

I’m struggling a lot with life I think, and finding myself thinking or fantasizing what the world would be like without me in it which I’m really worried about. It started in Nov of 2023, when I got this certification for my field of work. I felt really proud of myself as it was a really big deal, and thought that things would only go up from there. Fast forward a couple of months, me and my ex, my first really serious relationship, split up. Without going into too much detail, we both had issues with the other person, both did crappy things (probably moreso me), and knew it wasn’t healthy to continue. We agreed to still live together as roommates, as neither of us can afford to really live on our own, and felt we were still friends at the end of it all. At first I think I just suppressed it, tried distracting myself with activities, work, playing games with online friends, etc. I didn’t start realizing how I really felt until about 5 months later, when I just kinda realized I wasn’t over her. I told her how I felt and she agreed to work on it but that it was going to take some serious time. Over the next few months I tried working it out and fixing things, albeit going about it the wrong way and lovebombing, becoming exhausted and putting me in a really bad spot mentally. She text me one day when I was at work saying she couldn’t reignite feelings and she didn’t want to continue trying, and that I should’ve figured myself out sooner (but also not? idk I still can’t wrap my head around that one). To her credit she would come check in on me at first, and I guess I missed the hint as I had been under the impression that she wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise ever again. I felt crushed I think, and in a way led on but I knew that really wasn’t her fault. I told her I also didn’t have feelings anymore being a lie, moreso I just don’t want to have feelings anymore. Since then I’ve been in a limbo, it’s felt downhill ever since. On top of all of this going on, work was really demanding over the last year as my supervisor was absent for maybe a collective quarter of the year to the point that I couldn’t remember the last time he worked a full work week consecutively (which is uncommon in my field), which mentally and physically drained me even more. My online friends also turned out to not be who I thought they were, and started talking to them less and less. I tried therapy for awhile, but that wasn’t really working. Fast forward to now, I’m constantly in a deep depression. Hearing her laugh in her room playing games with friends and knowing she now has a boyfriend is almost like a constant punch in the gut. I’m getting back into my hobbies which is helping a little bit, but like i’d mentioned I still think about the world without me in it, and even though I think about something else almost immediately, I’m thinking about it more and more lately. I know I need to get out of this house, but I don’t know where to go, plus for better or worse I still care about her and don’t want her to struggle finding a place either. I feel trapped and alone I think. Sorry for the long post, been holding onto this one for awhile.

I'm starting to kind of dislike my mom. Yeah, I love her with all of my heart, but after she broke up with her most recent boyfriend, shes been acting a whole lot different. I know she smokes weed and drinks beer and all, but its still unsettling. She's been a lot more infuriable, she makes me sleep in her bed to help her anxiety despite the anxiety she gives ME, she won't even interact with my dog without yelling at her, she barely interacts with me OR my brother, only talking to me when she needs me to get a drink for her. This morning, she woke up yelling at us, forcing me to wear clothes that hadn't even went in the DIRECTION of the dryer, almost forgot to give me life-affecting medicine, etc. Screaming about how we embarrassed her, were in her own words "addicted fucks"(simply for even BREATHING in the direction of a phone), etc.

She's also been venting to us a whole lot more instead of seeing a professional. My brother and I are in our early teens.

I dunno, am I the asshole for being uncomfortable with her?

being a teen is honestly exhausting. not only do you have to live up to your parents expectations but also maintain a good social life in school. at some point being a teen and A GIRL is just the hardest thing ever, you post anything on instagram you get slut shamed although its not inappropriate at all, you enjoy your life and have few flings or situationships or dated few people you are called a whore, when you reject someone you get called "lose" (referring to the hole) and so much more than i cant even think of cuz this generation is so messed up. everyones point of view has changed and all their eyes roam where it shouldnt be, more than making love with someone you love, ppl watch porn and masturbate. peoples way of thinking and everything has changed so much in a bad way that being a girl and trying to survive is the hardest thing you can do.

its not 2 or 4 people or maybe its the whole school, you do one thing that might not even be problematic and people add up things and make it sound way worse and you are the new "whore" or "slut" or just someone everyone hates. i had a bf who cheated on me a couple of times and when we broke up since people who knew what he did blamed at him, he played the victim card and posted shit like i cheated on him many times and stuff, ever since peoples pov of me has changed so much. its not only inside the school but even people outside that i dont even know, people just judge you with what they know and befriend with the real bad people out there. not to sound lame or anything but at some point everything i did was problematic to everyone. people posted memes and stories making jokes bout me, some were fine but some were really inappropriate.

it affected me so much that i just wanted to be a completely different person, and i did change a lot (in a good way) but there are still people who keep complaining bout me being happy, i dont care anymore although its annoying how it keeps coming back. now im stuck with being seen by everyone. i lost a LOT of close friends and people since that incident and had no one rly beside, it was the hardest time of my life going through all that alone but im happy i overcame came. but its so lonely to have no true friend and whats more worse is i feel jealous that my current boyfriend is more associated with a lot of people, i am quite obsessive and overprotective cuz i keep losing people i love and shit. but when he has everything i want and things i wish he didnt i cant help it but to hate myself. i am insecure and lack self confidence, so its just become exhausting to be cared bout and seen by everyone and yeah "fomo".

what ive become today is being defined only by others pov or what they have heard and never of what i really am. its so tiring to accept it or keep ignoring it sometimes, its really my vulnerable point so hate sharing it to someone i know and when i try they think all i want is "attention" and here i am sitting in my room wondering what im doing in my life cuz its exhausting to try and exhausting to not be seen.

I've always been somewhat of a recluse, deliberately steering clear of social media and generally shying away from the spotlight. My wife knows this well, yet she refrains from uploading my photos online, though I’ve never explicitly forbidden her from doing so. I’ve always preferred simple, quiet celebrations for events like Father’s Day or my own birthday, keeping any unnecessary attention at bay.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a very treatable form of skin cancer. Detected early, the prognosis was excellent, with a negligible risk of serious consequences. As an engineer, I approached the situation with a level of detachment, comforted by the statistics and my doctor’s positive outlook. Naturally, I confided in my wife, who became overwhelmingly concerned despite my reassurances. We decided that it would be best to keep our children in the dark about my condition, sparing them any worry over something I believed to be a minor issue. My wife reluctantly agreed.

However, just days later my father contacted me, alarmingly inquired about my “battle with cancer.” It appeared that my wife had disclosed my diagnosis on Facebook that morning. When confronted, she defended her actions by claiming I hadn’t specifically asked her not to share it online, only to avoid telling our children. Frustrated but resolute, I convinced her to remove the post.

My treatment progressed smoothly, and soon, I was officially in remission. My doctor cheerfully informed me that while they avoid saying "cured," effectively, I was. Overjoyed, my wife and I hoped to move past this chapter. Or so I thought.

This past weekend, I arrived home to find a street bustling with cars and many more parked in my driveway. Confused, since no significant dates had come to mind, I entered the house only to be greeted by a surprise party celebrating my remission. I was completely taken aback – my wife knew my stance on surprise gatherings and yet had organized one for something I considered deeply personal. Claiming a sudden need to return to the office, I quickly excused myself, grabbed a few inconsequential files from my study, thanked the guests, and left. Later, my wife confronted me, leading to an argument where I expressed my disapproval of her turning a personal milestone into a public celebration.

Following the incident, there's been a noticeable tension between us. My brother even called me out, labeling me an 'asshole' for my reaction, suggesting I was too harsh.

Imagine if all this drama unfolded on a reality show. Viewers would probably be divided, some sympathizing with my need for privacy, while others might argue that my wife’s actions, though misguided, were rooted in love and deserved a more gracious response from me. It could have become a classic episode filled with conflict, emotional interviews, and maybe even a reconciliation scene, grabbing the audience’s attention with genuine, raw human experience.

Am I wrong for feeling upset about my wife's public celebration of my private health matter?

I just had an intense argument with my mom, which led me to cry in the closet room for almost an hour. I don't want to go through the details of what happened. Let's just say one small thing lead to whole chaos. I thought about me and hers relationship together and I wondered if she actually cares about me. Ig she argued with me like she didn't, still, it hurt. Bc she's never actually listened to what I have to say. She always goes off rambling about whatever expecting to listen through. Then a few hours later, my dad rages over my brother like the hundredth time and beats him with a belt. Somehow, I got involved with his scolding bc the pathaway to my door was a mess with books and papers (it wasn't really mess, more like random stuff on the floor bc there's a bookshelf outside of my door) and he always has to include something hurtful and unnecessary to his scoldings. The worst part about all this is when it ends, bc when it does, it seems like everything goes back to normal, except now I'm a mental wreck contemplating about why sin did I committed in a past life to get emotionally and psychological abused by two emotionally self absorded nitwits who talk their asses off like they get paid for every sentence that say. I honestly thought about ending my life, I've been thinking about it for a long time now but its more of a traumatic response that something constant. But I'm really considering it now since I feel trapped in my parents' home and running away seems too terrifying to me. I just wished that they acc made an effort to care about me as an individual but ofc, they have like 5 other children to take care of, which they had WILLINGLY, so who gives a shit about their children's mental wellbeing.

So here it goes...I am in college right now and we make friends in the first semester and hope to remain as friends throughout college life. But here is the twist, my friend told that I am not "fun" enough for as in comparison to a guy and her relative who was also a friend of mine felt the same and both of them completely stopped talking to me. I asked why did they do so and they cited this reason. Now I have no friends in college because I am such an introvert. I feel like a failure at this point. I felt so hurt but I can't just think about them. I have my whole life to be sorted...finish college, get a nice job and make my parents proud. I also give auditions to sing an I did not get selected for that either. I have just lost hope in my life now. I just wanted to vent this out and remove this negative feelings out of my body once and for all.

Growing up as mixed race (Black father and white mother), I've become somewhat accustomed to navigating predominantly white spaces in the UK. However, a recent visit to my mum and her partner Peter, who've been together for more than a decade, reminded me of the unique challenges I still face. They reside in a quaint Welsh village, distinctively monochromatic in its demographic, but usually, this is an environment I'm used to.

This visit, I decided to offer a hand with some gardening tasks, pulling weeds out front when Peter struck up a conversation with a neighbor, Robert, and brought me over to meet him. Within our initial exchange, after mentioning I was visiting from London for a week, Robert launched into a recount of his last trip to London. He described a minor collision with another person who he claimed then reacted aggressively. He concluded his story with, "and he was coloured," with an implicating tone suggesting danger, followed by fits of laughter from him and Peter.

The comment caught me off guard, and I excused myself, feigning more gardening work for a few moments before heading indoors. Shortly after, Peter came to my room to apologize, but his words, "Sorry about Robert, he just speaks his mind," only fueled my frustration. I confronted him about the lack of opposition to Robert's clearly racist comment. I ended up going for a long hike to cool down.

On returning, my mum tried smoothing things over, but it only escalated the tension. She suggested Robert was just an eccentric and advised I overlook his remarks. However, I stressed that my issue was more with Peter’s nonchalant reaction than Robert’s obvious prejudice. When she urged me to stand up for myself, I emphasized that as a person of color, it wasn't my place to educate or correct their biased acquaintances.

My mum accused me of overreacting; I countered, explaining she couldn’t possibly understand my position fully due to her different racial experiences. I've had to ignore casual racism in many areas of my life, but I drew the line at tolerating it in the so-called safety of my family home. Declaring my intentions to leave first thing in the morning, I started packing.

This decision inflamed the situation further. My mum lamented my impending absence from other family gatherings, labeling my decision as immature for not wanting to reach a compromise. I struggled to grasp how one could "agree to disagree" on matters of racism, let alone feel at ease knowing my immediate family might downplay my feelings toward it.

Reflecting on this situation within the context of a reality show, one wonders how the drama and intense emotional exchanges might play out before an audience. In those heightened realities, the dynamic could shift significantly, offering a platform for broader discussion or possibly escalating tensions further with viewers’ polarized reactions impacting the narrative.

Would love to know your thoughts—would my reaction have been seen differently if it was all televised?

My wife, Emily, and I tied the knot two years back after dating for five years. She brought her two amazing sons into our marriage and recently, we were overjoyed to welcome our new daughter into the world. When planning for our daughter, Emily made it clear that she wanted to dedicate the first year to exclusive breastfeeding, and stepping away from the workforce to do so, to which I gladly agreed given our stable financial state at the time.

However, things took a drastic turn when my brother illicitly withdrew $25,000 from our joint account, shaking our finances to the core. With only $3,000 left and a rent of $2800, I found myself in a position where I had to ask Emily to reconsider working, despite our initial agreement. Her response was heartbreaking as she exclaimed her disappointment and retreated, locking herself away in despair. Later, she confessed her deep resentment towards the situation, expressing fear that she might have reconsidered having our daughter had she known about the potential change in plans. She strongly felt it was my responsibility to resolve the mess created by my own family member and threatened separation if pushed to work.

It feels like we're stuck in a dire financial situation here, and without her additional support, I'm not sure how to navigate through. This has left our relationship strained to the point where communication has become minimal and filled with sadness.

I can’t help but wonder how this scenario would be received if we were part of a reality show. Would people empathize with the pressure we’re under, or would they judge the emotional outbursts and my desperate request for her to work? The volatile dynamics and intense confrontations might draw sympathy or criticism, turning our personal crisis into a public spectacle evoking strong reactions from viewers.