Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

It's incredible. I don't want to be surrounded by these ineffective people anymore—could it be that my other two posts were published? The notifications aren't showing up. Why are they wasting so much of my time? I'm getting to the point of exposing my privacy in all its splendor. In fact, I'm tired of writing about it, acting in silence. I want to express myself no matter what, say what I feel, without any filter. I now understand how someone I knew, an older woman, felt.

Why can't I be calm? Why is it that everyone interrupts my routine? Why do I have to silently stop them so they'll leave me alone? Why can't I say things upfront? Why the hell do I have to keep everything to myself? Besides, I always have to go around giving hypocritical hugs, lying affection, all to look good and avoid problems. My life can't continue like this. I want everything to change once and for all. I want to throw everything away because I can't stand it.

I can't stand my job. They've only made things worse for me. I can't stand my parents; they've only served to stress me out. I hate my aunt, everything I have to change for her. I want to leave these people, go far away, never to return. The pressure I'm under here is too much. I have to do it.

I have to start surrounding myself with projects that contribute, with people who contribute, with people who aren't just for a short while but who truly want to stay in my life, in a context, to provide support—it doesn't help, they're different things—and we all help each other grow. I no longer want to be surrounded by individuals who are out of place with me, and those who are most in place are abusive. This is over.

After the so-called treatment, all I saw were many disasters with my family. Nothing turned out well because of them. It can't be that they're all so useless! It makes me want to never see them again! I don't understand how a family can achieve that! I want everyone to go away, for all the misfits to go away. I want people who are in tune with me. It can't be that the psychiatrist isn't one of those people. To this day, I can't believe it.

I can't believe she feels that my therapy space is a useless, good-for-nothing place, that contributes nothing, that actually wastes my time. It can't be, although I also recognize that I'm under the fierce influence of my relatives, who didn't even know how to support me. How can an aunt tell me that my mother can't make me react intensely?! Has such a thing ever been heard?! That woman seems like she's never had a mother in her life, for God's sake! No wonder everyone thinks she's so mad!

I hope I don't find a hell like this with the girl I like. I don't have a way to call it, and I don't think I'm being rude. I don't want to find someone who has problems, really, who has difficulties with their family. I want someone who's outgrown that, so we can be together and free from the past. That would be good for me. I want a break from problematic people, for the love of God. I also feel annoyed because a man is going to take a book from a library I always use, and I won't have it available. That bothers me, and he knows it, and I'm uncertain; on top of that, I don't know if the boys will be able to find the copy in that library.

I feel very annoyed. I think the last thing I said between the lines got me all that. I think so, I couldn't stand it anymore. And I think that's good, reaching points where one can't tolerate lower thresholds, that are low thresholds, not excessive, and that allow for contextualized action, which I feel is what this text allows. I needed to say these things.

Today, I experienced something I feel compelled to share, but let me provide some backdrop first. A while back, doctors diagnosed my mom, in her sixties, with a brain tumor that wasn’t causing her distress at the time. It was accidentally discovered during a check-up for a different issue. The doctors decided to monitor it rather than conducting invasive procedures.

Fast forward to the present, the tumor has gotten bigger. Mom's doctors are suggesting surgery to remove it and carry out further tests. Naturally, my mom is terrified about the operation and keeps wavering on her decision.

I relayed this situation to my husband, who's 35 like me. We've purposely kept our daughter, who's four, in the dark about her grandma's condition, so I spoke to him in private. It's important to know that my husband strongly favors natural remedies and believes people should address the root causes of their health problems. While I agree that medicine or surgery isn't always necessary—having managed my own anxiety and depression through lifestyle adjustments—his views can be a bit extreme for me.

Previously, when my sister was dealing with thyroid cancer, he attributed it to her stress levels and recommended meditation.

He gave a similar response when my dad needed urgent care for internal bleeding.

And once, when I had severe chest pain and had to rush to the ER—where I later found out I needed more tests—he insisted it was just anxiety and didn't accompany me.

When we found out our daughter had allergies and needed medication, he argued it was because she didn't spend enough time outdoors, claiming codependency could trigger respiratory issues.

Discussing my mom’s current medical issue, he suggested that breathwork could cure brain cancer and expressed that if he were in her shoes, he'd avoid surgery or medication and focus on lifestyle changes that might have led to the illness.

I requested him not to share these views with my mom and to instead offer me support. I wanted to know if he thought I was okay or if he could provide me emotional backing. He replied that he couldn’t support me while I disregarded his treatment ideas. Frustrated, I cut off the conversation.

Am I being unreasonable for asking him not to impose his unsolicited holistic treatments on my mom or to refrain from sharing those views with me? Please note, I’ve never asked for his medical opinions in the past, only for his emotional support.

Imagine if I were on some reality show discussing this—I bet the audience would be gasping and taking sides! Some might cheer for holistic approaches, while others would probably empathize with the need for emotional support during tough times. The scene would get heated, prompting all sorts of reactions from shock to support to disbelief!

Uhh, lil update about what I texted before, basically my ex girlfriend (let's call her uhh "M") M wasn't the best, she didn't support my choices and thought that she was the only one important in the relationship. She's 11, 2 years younger than me, and she had only 1 week long relationships until I arrived (ours was 1 month and 2 days). Now I understood why. She's a manipulative person and she threatened me to kill herself If I didn't become her boyfriend again. I left her because I was struggling to stay in a long distance relationship and fuck, my mental health had fucked itself, plus i was starting to understand how bad she really was... Now she told me that she s3lf h4rmed and she sent me the pics of it.. and she told me "next time I won't be telling you "tell K I love her" (k is a friend of M and mine) but it will be " hey I'm m's mom.. she c0mmited su1cide... May i know why?"" And well I feel like I did something wrong...

She also told me things that made me look the selfish one that broke the "promise". Yeah, I did promise her that I wasnt gonna leave her, but fuck. We are 11 and 13. What the hell did you expect from it? And now I think I'm the one who deserve to D1e and that should have K1lled h1m s3lf. I already tried it and damn, i should have finished what I was gonna do.. now I keep thinking im the monster who hurted her and almost make her d1e... And same for K becouse she's like a sister to M and she's struggling a lot too, and if M d1es, K d1es too, and what should i do if they do so?.. I hope they won't..

Hey there, folks. So, I'm a 31-year-old guy, and I got a little thing going on that's starting to bug me. I can't stop laughing at everything. Literally, everything. Just last week, I received a not-so-good appraisal at work. Imagine sitting there with your manager who’s all serious and in-the-zone, saying, "Steve, you just don't seem to take anything seriously," and all I can think about is whether he too smirks when he sees funny cat videos 🐱. But really, it's becoming an issue. The corporate world wants commitment and focus, and here I am, laughing my head off at the smallest things like a sitcom on a constant loop.

This wasn't always a problem. Before this job, I worked in a startup where humor was almost part of the job description. We had ping-pong tables, bean bags, and a boss who laughed louder than any comedy club crowd. But now, things are... different. 😅🫤

I'm in a structured environment where meetings use terms like "KPIs," "cross-functional synergy," and "enterprise risk management." It feels like my inclination to laugh doesn't fit the bill. My manager's talking about the fiscal year-end, and I'm biting my lip trying to suppress a chuckle thinking, "Where did my carefree emoji moment go?"

So here's my question: How can one dial down the humor radar? Some might say maturity, but does growing older mean shedding away that joyous laughter; that isn't the solution I'm looking for. I'd miss the light-hearted me. Luckily, I think there's still hope. I remember reading on some blog once, "Laughter is the best medicine, but it's about the dosage." Maybe that's the trick? Moderation. Learn to redirect when it's time to listen and laugh later.

And still, I ponder over whether I can do it. Would mediation help to calm down spontaneous giggles? Could immersing myself more in serious articles, like the economics section of the newspaper, create balance? Some say it's about training the mind, and I bet they're right. But I’m hopeful that with practice, I'll learn to contain it when necessary and still keep that lively side of me intact. After all, if we don't occasionally laugh at a good ol' meme, are we even living life to its fullest?

is it healthy. to be,, like. so attached to some..iosjne. that lowk,, you wouldnt care. ho.w. bad they may,, act towardsyou and you would still wait,,for them. to return to uou..,, I feel like. a #bad. partner for it,,

Everyone is so mean to me, like really mean!!!! I do not even understand what the hell is going on anymore?? I'm 19 and I go to uni like everyone else, I’m studying communications and marketing which is supposed to be all about people and connection and empathy and whatever, but none of these girls in my program act like they’ve even seen a human being before!!! They literally look at me like I’m dirt on their shoes, and I swear it’s just cause I’m hot. I look older than them, maybe mid-20s or something, I’ve been told that a million times at parties or events, and somehow that’s enough for these girls to start whispering and side-eyeing me??? I walk into a seminar room and it's dead silence. Dead. Like did I say something to them??? No. Never. I'm polite, I say hi, I try to make convo, but no. They just act cold as ice like I'm some alien with a disease. It's so pathetic honestly.

And yes, I have an OnlyFans, so what???? What’s the issue???? I make real money. Like more than enough to cover rent, tuition, food, and still have nice things. My content is nothing extreme, nothing illegal, nothing wild — it’s art, okay?? High-quality photography, consistent brand aesthetic, SEO optimization, smart pricing tiers, premium subscriber rewards — it’s literally textbook content marketing but with my face and body, so of course it works. But these girls act like I committed murder!!! I heard one of them saying "at least I’m not selling myself online" like?? Babe, I’m not selling myself. I’m selling a lifestyle, a vibe, a curated digital persona that pays for my goddamn bills while you’re still begging your dad to Venmo you 20 bucks for takeout. Grow up. Stop acting like I’m some kind of danger to the institution of higher education or whatever. You're just bitter.

It’s been like this since the second week of semester. First week they were fake-nice, you know? Those little “omg we should study together!” type lies. Then they all slowly ghosted me. I had one girl literally leave a group project and switch teams just cause she “didn’t feel comfortable.” Like be real, what part of me is uncomfortable??? Is it the fact I have better makeup? Is it cause I know how to dress well for my body type and don’t show up in wrinkled leggings and knock-off Crocs?? Or is it cause guys on campus actually talk to me, and it bothers you that I don’t even chase them? They come to me. They ask ME for notes. They offer ME rides. Maybe focus on why you hate yourself so much that you think someone else’s success is a personal attack. Like what even is the psychology behind that????

But whatever. I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t hurt — it really freaking does. I go home some days and just cry, cause it’s lonely out here when you’re actually doing well for yourself and no one claps for you. Like damn, I’m 19, I’m running a profitable content platform with solid monthly growth, I ace my presentations, and I still get treated like trash by basic girls who can't even spell "algorithm." 😤 But I’m not gonna stop. No way. I love how I look, I love making money, and I love the future I’m building. If you hate me for that, that says way more about you than it ever will about me. Maybe one day they’ll grow up and realize the world isn’t high school anymore. Until then, I’ll be doing me — and maybe that’s enough. Or maybe not???

i feel so upset in life, i feel like things at the moment aren't going as plan, i cant be with the person I want t,. I have lost her. I feel very misunderstood at work that i had a mental breakdown on the way home. Lately I've been feeling very unwanted, I wonder if it'll be like this everyday. At times i wish maybe if i wasn't born i wouldn't have to live through this phase of negatively, and unfairness. I feel like im holding myself by a thread, i wonder how long ill keep this for i really hope i have the mental strength because i don't feel like continuing anymore. I wonder if being nice and very respectful is a bad thing now a days, i feel like because of that i have very much suffered from it. i feel used, mistreated, i pray and hope god takes me into a better path. : (

I kind of miss my ex…so me and him haven’t spoken in a while but last year we where so close and I’m going to tell you the things we did which made me madly in love,so last year I met my ex in maths class and me and him got along well and we met up at his usual hang out spot(his friends house)don’t! Worry other people where there too and it was a safe space and a chill spot me and him got together and we was in the awkward stage for a few hours until he sat next to me and was peer pressured to put his arm around me …year 7 for ya anyways we was sat next to each other and he had his arm around me until all of my friends decided to sit on this tiny ass couch and we all managed to fit on but we had to squeeze on and I was so close to him I couldn’t breathe he was trying to play a game but cuddle me at the same time and he had to wrap his arms round me and play with 2 hands and it was kinda funny but awkward at the same time and they all asked to go to the shops but had no money so I gave them my last bit of birthday money (ten pounds) they said thanks I said don’t spend it all and they surprisingly didn’t the rest spent about 2 pounds each and he only spent 10 pence and I was so grateful he actually acted and I had never ever been in a relationship so close to someone like that so I was kinda shy but the next weekend I had a sleepover and I decided to break up with him idk I was stupid and young so I had no clue what I was doing but we separated for like 3 months but I couldn’t get him off my mind and I told my friend and she was like well let’s message him so she did and he said said he would like to try things again too and I was so happy and inlove and we met up and things like that and we had laughs together and always hugged goodbye until he broke up with me but then he got back together with me because he said he was stupid and we stayed together until we didn’t..we separated again and we became close mates and I decided to go out and met him late at night and we had so much fun together until a big group of boys where chasing me and my other friend and I called him and he was straight there to protect us both with his other mate and we jumped down this thing and I was let behind because I was stung by nettles and no one came looking for me except him and I was too tired to run so he came behind me and walked with me while my other friends ran and we started meeting more often and one time we was hiding behind this corner and he was stood next to me while I was in the corner and I kept looking to my side and each time he was staring at me and we made eye contact I smiled and he smiled back even though he hardly smiles at people I was falling inlove with this boy so much and we kept finding ways back to each other until my bestfriend had enough of me talking to him and she blocked him on my phone and I hadn’t have talked to him in ages I decided to unblock him in secret and we called and talked for ages and now we just don’t speak but I miss him what do I do should I speak to him again or not guys Ibe never been so in love

i dont even like looking in the mirror anymore. like fr, every time i do, i just find something else to hate. my nose looks weird, my face is too round, my skin is never clear, and dont even get me started on my hair. it’s like the more i grow up, the uglier i get. when i was a kid i didn’t care, i used to smile at my reflection and not think twice. now i just stare at it and feel worse. everyone says “ur beautiful in ur own way” but i dont see it. all i see is someone who’s never gonna be that pretty girl, the one everyone looks at, the one people say wow she’s gorgeous about. and what scares me is that if i already feel this bad about how i look at 16, what am i gonna look like when i’m older? what if it gets worse? what if im one of those ppl who peak in middle school and then just get uglier and older until no one even notices them anymore??

i see girls at school and on insta and they’re all so perfect. like seriously, how do they do it?? their skin glows, their makeup is flawless, even their “casual” outfits look like they came outta a magazine. meanwhile, i look like a potato most days. even when i try to get ready and look nice, i still feel like i dont compare. i’ll take a bunch of selfies and delete all of them. nd then i look at old pics of me from like a year or two ago and i already look diff—and not in a good way. like my face changed and not the way i wanted. nd then i start thinkin like, what if this keeps happening? what if every year i just keep lookin less and less like someone worth looking at? it’s not just about being pretty. it’s about feelin confident. nd i dont feel that at all. i feel like i’m slowly turning into someone invisible.

sometimes i’ll be scrolling and see those “glow up” videos and they just make me wanna cry. like good for them but what if that never happens to me? what if i stay the weird lookin girl with the awkward smile and the body i dont even understand? i feel like people just expect us to grow up and magically turn into these beautiful women, but what if i never do? what if i just stay this unsure, insecure mess forever? i try to tell myself that beauty isn't everything, that what matters is inside, blah blah—but it’s hard when literally everyone is judging everyone based on looks, even if they dont say it out loud. boys don’t talk to me unless it’s for help with homework. girls don’t compliment me the way they do each other. no one says “u look pretty today” to me. so how am i supposed to believe i’m beautiful in the future when i don’t even feel it now?

i kno people change and grow nd maybe i’ll feel better about myself one day, but right now? i’m scared. scared of what i’ll look like when im 20, 25, 30. scared that nothing will change or that it’ll change the wrong way. scared that everyone around me will glow up and move on and be admired while i’m just… there. the girl who could’ve been cute but wasn’t. nd maybe that sounds dumb, but it’s real to me. i just wanna feel pretty one day, like actually believe it without doubting every second. i want to wake up, look in the mirror, and smile for once. maybe that’s too much to ask. but it’s what i want. and i hope, more than anything, that future me isn’t still feeling this way. cuz that would hurt more than anything.

Do I want him, or do I simply just yearn for the feeling of being loved by somebody? Am I simply just bored, suddenly craving the attention of someone else while still having the full attention of him? I am a horrible person. I am undeserving of being loved; I do not have the capacity to be loved for anything but my measly little body. My frail feelings have me running in circles, eager to figure out... what is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I am undeserving of love. I see why nobody ever wishes to have me.

I'm struggling so much I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend of 1.5 years, and I have no idea at all if I still have romantic feelings for him. I always want the best for him, and I truly do want to see him succeed in life, but I just don't know if I love him anymore in that way. I've begged for months on end just for him to listen. to understand how I feel. He doesn't get it. He only wants to change when I'm beginning to slip from his grasp, and it's the worst feeling in the world. Only now that I'm starting to lose my care factor, he wants to fix the issue I've had for a YEAR. It feels so horrible. To add to that, my guy best friend is being really weird .. like oddly affectionate. It has me feeling ... confused? causing my struggle to worsen, even? And not only that, but he has been borderline encouraging me to leave my boyfriend.

I'm so confused .. lost, even. I don't know what to do with myself. It doesn't help I'm struggling with severe depression (5 years, ongoing).

My sister Laura is set to get married in just three months. She has decided to have a wedding without any children present. I completely understand and respect her choice. However, the situation becomes a bit tricky for my husband, Jake, and me because we have a newborn who is only three months old. When Laura initially informed us about her decision for a child-free event, I thought she might make an exception for immediate family, especially for newborns who need constant care.

I approached Laura to discuss the possibility of bringing our baby to the wedding. I explained that I'm currently breastfeeding and leaving our baby with someone else for an entire day isn't something we're comfortable with. Furthermore, since the wedding is in another city, we would have to rely on a stranger or leave our baby far away at home with someone else. I shared my anxiety about being separated from our newborn for such an extended period, hoping she would understand.

However, Laura was quite firm in her decision. She emphasized that allowing our baby at the wedding would be unfair to other guests who are adhering to the 'no children' rule. I suggested that perhaps we could bring our baby just for the ceremony and leave before the reception, but she refused that too. She wants the entire day to be free of children.

I expressed to her that if our baby can't come, then it would be difficult for us to attend. We considered having only Jake go, but it felt odd and impractical. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving our baby even with Jake and attending alone. Laura became quite upset and mentioned that her wedding should take precedence and implied that I needed to learn to detach from our baby for just a few days. She stressed the importance of her day and seemed to expect us to accommodate her without considering our stance.

Is it really unreasonable for me to prioritize my baby’s needs over attending the wedding? I respect it’s Laura’s day and her rules, but a little empathy from her side would have been appreciated. Now, I almost feel like Laura is being a bit of a bridezilla.

If this situation unfolded on a reality TV show, viewers might be split. Some would likely sympathize with my position as a new mother not wanting to part from her baby, while others might support Laura's steadfast adherence to her child-free wedding policy. The drama and conflict might even boost the show's ratings as audience members debate over family obligations versus respecting the bride's wishes.

I cann't help but wonder, am I realy the asshole for not being willing to attend my sister's wedding because my baby isn't welcomed?

Living in England with my South Asian wife and our twin boys, we've encountered a unique cultural blend within our family. I am white British and relatively uncreative when it comes to names; my own is quite generic. Nevertheless, we agreed early on that our children would carry my surname, "Smith," while my wife would choose their first names. She selected beautiful names from her culture: Ramin Navroz Smith and Rustom Parvez Smith. The meanings behind these names - 'joyous new year' and 'victorious hero' respectively - resonated with us, as did their distinct yet harmonious sound.

Both boys are under two years old and while they share similar features, their appearances diverge due to their mixed heritage. Ramin has inherited his mother’s darker features while Rustom shows lighter traits like mine. Despite being based in cosmopolitan London, where diversity is celebrated, somme comments from family members have sparked concern.

The issues began with my sister-in-law making offhand remarks that Ramin aptly fit his name but Rustom did not. Subsequently, she and my brother began affectionately calling Rustom "Russell," a nickname which quickly caught on among other relatives. Despite our repeated disapprovals, the nickname persisted to the point where Rustom began responding to it. We firmly requested that this stop, leading to emotional upset from my sister-in-law and accusations of over-sensitivity from other family members.

We stood our ground, restricting visits from family members who continued using the nickname, arguing that it inadvertently emphasizes racial differences that our young boys are too innocent to understand. The insistence on using a “whiter” nickname for Rustom seems particularly thoughtless given that it could seed a sense of disparity between him and his brother.

Friends and extended family claim we are overreacting and that the comparisons and nicknames are harmless. However, we worry about the long-term effects of these early distinctions based on physical appearance.

Wonder how all of this would play out if we were part of a reality show? Surely the viewers would have a field day debating our choices and maybe the public scrutiny would sway my relatives into reconsidering their stance. Or perhaps, it would just amplify the drama and misunderstanding.

Is it really overthinking to want my boys to grow up without imposed biases that could shape how they see themselves and each other? Are we being unreasonable in trying to protect our children from these seemingly small, yet potentially harmful, acts of distinction?

I always thought I’d be ready for this moment. I mean, isn’t that what parenting is all about? You raise your kids to be independent, to go out into the world and make their own lives. But now that it’s actually happened, I feel so... lost. The empty nest isn’t what I expected at all.

Last month, our youngest moved out to start college. The house feels so quiet now, almost like it’s holding its breath. For years, it was filled with laughter, noise, and the constant chaos of a busy family. Now, it’s just me and my husband, and we don’t really know what to do with ourselves. We used to joke about all the free time we’d have once the kids were gone, but the silence is... unsettling.

I find myself wandering into their rooms, staring at the posters on the walls, and wondering how time flew by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was helping them with homework, driving them to soccer practice, or staying up late to make sure they got home safe from a night out. Now, they’re off living their lives, and I’m stuck here trying to figure out what mine looks like without them in it every day.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m proud of them. So proud. They’re doing amazing things, and I know this is how it’s supposed to be. But I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in being a mom. Now that they don’t need me the same way, I’m struggling to figure out who I am outside of that role.

Everyone keeps saying I should take this time to focus on myself, pick up hobbies, or travel. But it’s hard to start when your heart feels so heavy. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you adjust to life with an empty nest? I want to be happy for them, and I am, but I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness.

last night I was out with some friends and I don’t really know how to put this into words because maybe I’m just overthinking things but I’m also not sure if I did something wrong. I’m 28, a man, and honestly money is tighter for me than for some of my friends, I don’t complain because life is what it is, and we all have our situations. they suggested this restaurant and I went along, thinking “okay just enjoy it, don’t stress.” everyone started ordering these fancy meals, steaks, seafood, bottles of wine that looked very expensive, and I just felt a bit out of place. I didn’t want to be a killjoy, but I also knew if I joined in I’d end up with a credit card balance I couldn’t really manage. so I ordered one of the cheapest meals on the menu and a diet coke, I was happy with it, it filled me up and it was good enough for me. 😅 I didn’t think it was a big deal, but when the bill came everyone started saying “let’s just split it evenly, makes it easier.” I stayed quiet for a second because I didn’t want to make it awkward, but then I said politely, “actually if it’s alright I’ll just pay for my part, I only had this and that.” nobody yelled at me or anything, but the vibe shifted a little. it was like they weren’t expecting that, and I could feel eyes on me, like maybe I was being selfish or cheap. am I selfish for that? or am I just being realistic? I don’t even know anymore, because I felt like I did the fair thing.

to be clear, I didn’t refuse rudely, I just explained nicely and tried to keep a smile. I even offered to add a little bit extra for tip to make sure the waiter was treated well, because in my mind that’s the respectful part of eating out. one friend made a half joke, like “come on man, don’t be calculating, it’s just easier this way.” I laughed it off, but in my head I was thinking of the line “don’t spend money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like,” though I do like my friends, I just think the quote fits the idea. I never said that to them of course, I stayed polite. the funny part is that later one of them privately said, “yeah I get it, I should probably do the same sometimes.” so maybe I’m not alone in this feeling. I kept wondering if being honest about my finances makes me selfish, or if it’s actually more selfish to expect someone to cover an expensive share of something they didn’t eat or drink. 🤔 isn’t that an okay question? I’m not angry, I just want to see different perspectives.

in the end I don’t think it ruined the night. we still laughed, talked, and walked out together like normal friends do. I don’t hold grudges, I don’t think they do either, but there is a small part of me that wonders if next time I should just go with the flow and split evenly to avoid that moment, or if I should stick with what feels fair and honest. I like to stay hopeful that real friends will understand, that money doesn’t define connection, and maybe even that this could open small conversations about how not everyone has the same wallet. life is strange, sometimes I think it’s testing how we balance being kind to ourselves and kind to others. if you were in my shoes, would you have done the same? or would you think it’s better to pay the extra for the “group harmony”? thank you for reading, I mean that sincerely. I hope one day I won’t even worry about this stuff, but for now it’s where I am, and I want to stay positive and just keep learning.

so... am I selfish here?

I hate college .

The course I'm doing is boring and we just do the same work over and over again and no one ever speaks up about it.

Every since the October half term I've had no help on a Wednesday. When they can be bothered to give me the help I need it's only for other one lesson or tow.

I also can't last the whole day at college due to my knee and if I do manage to last the whole day. I end up in a little of pain.

I then don't go into college at all the next day because I 'm just in to much pain and I struggle to put any weight on or through my knee.

I have also now got a date for physical therapy.

and just in general I don't know what to do anymore as I don't like and am not enjoying college and the course I'm doing and I'm debating weather or not to change course or just leave the college all together.