Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

You know, I've always been a little awkward when it comes to talking to people, and now that I've started my first job at 22, you'd think I'd have figured it out by now. But no, socializing at work is still a mountain I struggle to climb, primarily because of my autism. It's like trying to decipher a language that I'm not entirely sure I understand, yet everyone else seems to speak it fluently. I see my coworkers engrossed in conversations about weekend plans, sharing memes, or even just working through the lunch break together, and I can't help but feel like an outsider looking in. I genuinely want to be part of this camaraderie, to share a laugh over a coffee run or engage in small talk like it's second nature. But man, sometimes it just feels like an insurmountable hurdle. Have you ever tried to speak up in a meeting, only to overthink every word and end up saying nothing at all? That's me most days. I remember reading somewhere that "conversation is an art that can be learned," and I'm holding onto that hope like it's my lifeline; it's about baby steps, right?

Yet, beyond my apprehensions, I've had moments that give me a glimmer of hope, little anecdotes that remind me that I can do this. Just the other day, I saw an opportunity while we were in the break room. They were talking about a Netflix series I've actually seen—one of those rare moments where my nerdy interests intersect with more mainstream ones. So, I dove in, cracking a joke about a twist from the show, and to my surprise, they actually laughed—genuine laughter, not just the polite kind. It was one of those small victories that can make a guy's entire week. I mean, who'd have thought that my encyclopedic knowledge of a Netflix plot would become my inroad into a conversation? Still, I'm trying to find more of those moments, where I can contribute something that doesn't feel forced or rehearsed. It's all about finding that sweet spot between contribution and comfort without feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of social interaction. Sometimes, I wonder if it's worth it to stress over fitting in when one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maybe that's a hint that I need to adapt my own viewpoint rather than stress over societal norms, you know?

I was visiting my family for the weekend, and my great aunt was there too. It's been a while since I was last home, so everyone came to see me.

Aunt Molly said she had a special spiritual dream where a guardian angel told her about an old neighbor from her childhood. She checked with a few people and found out there really was such a neighbor back in the day. She claimed this was some sort of miracle.

I was smiling the whole time. She asked why I seemed skeptical. I told her I believed she dreamed it, but it was probably because the old memory was in her subconscious and resurfaced in her dream. It wasn't a supernatural miracle, just her brain doing its thing.

She got mad and told me I needed to repent and find God in my heart again. I didn’t respond to that. Later, my mother said I caused a stir in the family and that my comment hurt Aunt Molly. Now everyone is upset with me. Did I do something wrong?

Imagine if this happened on a reality show. The drama would be off the charts! People would be taking sides, and there'd be endless discussions about faith, dreams, and subconscious memories. How do you think the viewers would react to my comment?

I am a 48 year old male, married to a 64 year old female. We haven't made love in 5 years due to her vaginal inching on the outer side of her vaginal lips. She's been to several doctors and nurse practitioners over all this time, and they just keep telling her to use creams on it like Replenish or KY Jelly. She won't even have a shower with me anymore.......keeps saying we will, we will, but it never happens. I can't even put my arm around her at night because she complains i'm too heavy. I'm just a small figured guy with some muscle, not a lot, like a Wil Wheaton type build. Am I crazy for thinking she just doesn't want to touch me anymore? There's other things too...........................

Hey, guys. So, I've been grappling with a bit of a morally gray area lately, and I could really use some outside perspective. Is it bad to watch porn? I get that it's a touchy subject, and opinions on it vary greatly. Sometimes, I feel like everyone does it, but no one talks about it, almost like it's this secret secluded to the hidden corners of our lives. The alluring consumption of adult content is accessible as ever due to modern technology and the privacy it offers, yet the stigma surrounding it remains quite palpable. It leads one to wonder about its implications, both psychologically and ethically. I mean, sure, on the surface level, indulging in pornography feels like a harmless escapade, almost like ordering takeout instead of cooking. But is it nearly as innocent as it seems?

There's something undeniably magnetic about the immediate gratification it offers, and let's face it, the variety is vast. However, I can't help but feel that there's a darker underlying current. Does it adversely affect our perception of reality? Impacts cognition and behavior? Or maybe even our relationships with others? These questions keep swirling around in my head. The industry sure is a juggernaut, boasting millions of viewers but is it all coming at a hefty price? Does it heighten unrealistic expectations or foster an unhealthy cycle that one struggles to escape from? I know personally, it's hindered my capacity to connect meaningfully with partners at times. And the feeling of guilt lingers, a byproduct of wondering if I'm feeding into something more sinister. Are others feeling this duality of pleasure and guilt too, or is it just me? Ugh, it's complicated, isn't it? 🤔

y'know, at 42, life's thrown me a fair share of curveballs and it's not like I brag about being perfect (who does??), but some things are just tough pills to swallow. i'm stuck on this self-charged guilt trip because, yeah, I cheated. big whoop, right? but the kicker is, didn't spill the beans. and let me guess, you're wondering how the hell does one forgive themselves for that mess? it's like trying to erase a permanent marker stain off a white shirt, i suppose. you don't. 😒

so there's this whole psychological warfare going on inside my head where i’m battling rational thoughts versus the human inclination to just hide under a rock. it's self-preservation at its rawest form. therapists or some self-proclaimed gurus might say honesty is the best policy and admitting mistakes is the path to redemption, but what do they really know about survival instinct? every day i juggle with the concept of being morally reprehensible vs. having sanity intact. do i crucify myself on the alter of mistakes and marinate in constant self-loathing or do i sweep it under the rug where it belongs? i mean, let’s be real, everyone has skeletons in their closet. so, why is it such a big deal for me? questioning if the act in itself was worth the eternal psychological gymnastics serves no purpose; hindsight's a friend to none! 🙄

they call it cognitive dissonance, right? this unsettling feeling of harboring conflicting beliefs and emotions, creating a mental ping pong game. i tell myself, "you’re only human, we all eff up!" and then that little voice chimes in, "yeah, but not like this." forgiveness isn’t a one-size-fits-all, it's a custom fitting... you have to try on a few versions before something feels right. is there really a right way to forgive oneself for unspoken sins? haven't we all, deep down in our shitty psyche, wanted to play pretend with the truth? but i digress, inside the tangled web of unrepentant emotions, i seek clarity that never arrives. intimacy post-cheating feels like a contractual formality; mechanical, void of warmth—like sex in slo-mo with all sound muted. maybe it's penance. maybe it's karmic justice in the disguise of normalcy.

what's likely worse than the act itself is the endless charade of maintaining a facade where guilt doesn’t mar the superficial peace. it’s this relentless pursuit of a sense of normalcy that cocoons the paranoia and eats you alive. if we dive into the world of behavior methodologies, we see that confronting the issue by making amends with oneself forms a baseline for 'emotional recalibration.' sound like BS?? well, it kinda is, but maybe, just a little piece of the truth lies there. despite the misalignment in actions and beliefs, i lift myself from the agony of regret because confronting my inner demons could mean clarity. 😳

and maybe, just maybe, entering that analytical landscape of reality, life has more gloomy twists than we reckon, and decisions are not always brewed in morality. so, what's a gal to do? keep counting forgiveness as a constant emotional reconciliation, a mere bunged-up attempt to self-soothe. or just like any ol' screw-up, find comfort in the chaos i unraveled? sometimes there's no textbook solution for life’s messiness, and acceptance that i’m flawed is a leap in itself. if you think you have a better solution, well, good for you, but it may not be the one for me. in the murky sea of self-awareness and reckoning, forgiveness might just be surrendering to the vulnerability, surrendering to the chaos... and that's ok. because isn't all this soul-crushing ponder (un)bearably normal??

yeah... life just sucks like that sometimes. 💩

Hi

So I got a few months ago my ex best friend/ex Situationship told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend for me because I made him feel safe and loved. Fast-forward a few months I gave him a time limit of when to break up with his girlfriend because I wanted to spend the holidays with him. He then and said, broke things off with me after having intercourse with me. I threatened to tell his girlfriend and now he’s telling everyone that I’m crazy because I have bipolar. So now every time I go to my neighborhood McDonald’s he clears at me and my now boyfriend. But I wanna know if I was crazy to like him in like that or if I was just being a hopeless romantic at a point.

Me and my friend (nickname Poppy) were very close friends but she started saying mean things. we were in the same dance class together and I approached her. I tried talking until she told me to shut up. so i did. i left the dance class and she didn't even notice. when my mum picked me up, i told her everything. she said how i should ignore her, but i'm not very good at that. especially since we were eachothers bffs and only sat with eachother so i felt bad. Eventually I had to go to her birthday party. that was the final straw. I walked in and her friend showed mugs of me that she was sent by "Poppy". I secretley texted my dad to come and pick me up. My girlfriend was also coming and Poppy wanted us to play spin the bottle. She said whoever it was we had to kiss them. I didn't feel comfortable kissing someone who wasn't my girlfriend, especially seeing as she wasn't there because she couldn't make it but her cousin was there.

Hi,

Today is May 16, 2025.

I've tried to ignore my feelings for a very long time now, I've been struggling between different situations, and I'm not sure how long would I be able to keep it up.

It is like today, all the bad feelings impregnated to my brian, are taking over my head.

Today, I feel ugly, fat, not a very successful person, I feel stuck, I'm not progressing, I feel lonely, I'm not a valuable person.

I feel insecure when I look myself in the mirror, I see an ugly person, like there is nothing I can do to change that, I don't like people to stare at me, as I feel, they are disgusted of what they are seeing. I'm financially broke, I have only enough money to eat and basic necessities.

In my job, I feel helpless, a nuisance. It is something new, so I don't have the skills required to execute in that role, but no one is helping, I don't like to bother my colleagues, but I don't understand what I'm doing. I tried to applied for a different job, but they are not contacting me, they are not interested in me, I've received only rejections (another thing to add to make me feel less valuable).

I work from home, so I don't really have so many people I can speak to, it is very difficult to see my few friends, and my sister is always busy, and I don't really like to bother them with my problems.

My spouse doesn't help me either, he doesn't make me feel supported. I feel stressed out around him. He doesn't make me feel loved. I feel he likes to control us and impose us, otherwise, he will get mad, start yelling and insult us, not only me, but my kids too. How I'm capable to tolerate this, what's wrong with me? There are some things we both like, like the music, anime, cinema, technology, but we lack some others, like the adventure, to know new places, to get to know new people. I know we are different people, and we are not supposed to like the same things, but I consider these things very important in my life. When we go vacationing, it turns very uncomfortable, because he begins to see negativity in people and place, he starts making a fuss over a simple thing, which makes me feel uneasy, I've decided not to go with him anywhere. He tries to minimize my older son (who is not his biological son), always highlighting his flaws, making him feel stupid, or useless. Actually, he tries to minimize everybody. I'm trying to understand him, because he had a very difficult childhood (abandonment), but I feel it is not fair for us to tolerate his behavior. I'm not sure if I should leave him, as I know even thought, I'm financially broken, he helps with the house bills and some of the chores.

My mother suffocates me too, she has been always controlling my actions, my motherhood, my adulthood, she doesn't let me be. I think I married, so I could scape from her, controlling my life. My mother was always at home to raise us, so she didn't have like a real social life, besides my siblings and me, so she spoiled us so much, mostly my little brother (who doesn't work nor study), and that's what we are afraid of my sons, as they are so spoiled by my mom. When I try to make distance, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her, for ignoring her. Like I'm attacking her. I'm not sure it was because of her, that I have so many insecurities, and complexities. She was always controlling my father, because my father was and still is a cheater and a sexist, but they are still living together, tolerating each other.

Could this be the reason I'm tolerating my husband too?

Am I guilt of my whole situation?

(its my first time posting on here, i just needed a place to vent and feel heard)

long story short, when i was around 5-8 (dont remember exactly) i was sa'd by my older brother and his best friend at the time. i was way too young to understand what was happening to me, all i knew is that it felt bad but they wouldnt stop. thankfully this only happened once because i told my mom, but then it was never brought up again, until a couple weeks ago.

the thing is that i never thought of it as SA because it felt too horrible admitting to myself that i am a victim. that being said, this trauma began showing up as me hating femininity, wearing baggy clothes to the point i didnt even undress at the beach/pool/during summer, i absolutely hate the idea of coming across as vulnerable, smoking, substances, SH,etc... in november of 2024 i finally accepted the reality. it felt so horrible that i relapsed in smoking but i thought it was better than relapsing in SH.

long story short, ive made a lot of progress since then. i told my therapist about it and it was the first time i cried in therapy in 5 years, i told my mom about it and she was very loving, but i still cant overcome it.

the nightmares and flashbacks stopped after i managed to talk to my mom about it. but theres one thing left to do, and that is to talk to my brother about it.

the reason why this is like the final boss of overcoming the trauma is that he's made advances on me in the past. not recent, but around 4 years ago he tried to get me to let him 'penetrate' me. apart from that, he's also made comments on my body when i was forced to wear dresses for formal events, talking about how big my boobs are, or how sexy i am. he has also sent me a picture of his dick in the past. thats as recent as last year.

sexual trauma is such a huge part of my subconscious identity that i am almost a legal adult and ive never been in a relationship. i dont wear makeup or dress in a feminine way cause i see it as being vulnerable. ive also never talked to my irl friends about any of this, even tho im craving to have someone listen.

i let my brother get away with so much because our dad passed away a few years ago, and i felt like my brother just wasnt in his right mind. that being said, a lot of what i mentioned happened before my dad's passing and even then, i let him get away with it because dad was an alcoholic.

surviving trauma is hard, but i think surviving the aftermath is even harder.

the first time i admitted to myself that the sa did in fact happen, i threw up.

Pls read this.

It's now 2026. I'm gonna be 14 in February. I fucking hate this. The future, it's too unpredictable! Like, I can survive. I’m weird if I do my own thing. Who notices the cleaners or waitresses or maids? I’m gonna be okay because no one can hurt me, because they don’t notice me. Best thing I can also do is not go to college either, most successful people dropped out and went their own paths. I’m going my own path, just a slower one, of giving up the risky waters. No one swims in Mangalore seas, those who do are idiots, just wanting to play with their own life. Who even wants to learn about marine life, or history? Seriously, only history you learn from is this kind and how likable you are. I should care what others think, my dad’s wrong to say no to that. Who’d wanna learn about Vietnam or Thailand or India, most them are anyways mean, rude and like polluting the ground. Those who do doctorates for literal fish, to others, it’d be weird. I won’t be word nor trendy, just nothing. It’s easier than being both lanes, anyways. Most kids after realizing they can never be a cool kid from a weird kid soon chose the beige route, at least that’s still a color. You said I’m allowed to be a nobody, I can live with that forever, considering I already ate up 7 years. It’s not judgement, it’s grace on my part, just like giving up. I’m allowed to just be a no one. I can endure, people can sit with that. They don’t sing, “I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up” for no reason! I can manage. It ain’t even that bad. Humans are resistible. I can live with being nothing to others, be in routine. Unshakable but predictable routine. Many people live like that. You may say I’m 13, but trust me, I can be smart like that. I just need to remove my curiosity, that intrusive aspect of me to come out of my safe space and be hurt. Don’t go to college, wake up, pass school, form no friendships, eat, sleep, bathe, relieve myself, work in some small job till I finish whatever mortgage and rent I have until I’m 64, so it all over again from 18-64, assuming my work life lasts that long.

See! People are a liability! I can be me to me only! People can live long fulfilling less without these burdens. People really are hell, Sartre was right. I can be rigid, have my own fun life and be with no one, they’re worthless anyways. They all judge, so why bother looking even for one person if it doesn’t exist? You literally said, “Humans don’t need applause, but we do need some meaning. Meaning doesn’t have to come from people, but it has to come from somewhere. Fish, oceans, history, art, dolls, stories. Those are not liabilities. They are anchors.” I’ve had them all my life. I can live with them, make them my friends, since people are a waste. I may be able to survive this year, but I can thrive the rest by this routine! You said people are optional, so why bother with any kind of relationship? Most successful people don’t even have sustainable relationships with people! I can make with next year! I’m 13, I can deal with it. How am I even wrong to say people are hell? You said I’m allowed to not like people, so that means I can handle no one. They all suck anyways. If I want someone as a friend, it won’t matter because it won’t last. I just know it. It’ll be that way. I won’t be surprised by good person who stays because they don’t exist. That’s in movies only where someone is cool like that. Again, pure fiction. No matter how I act, nice or mean or quiet, I’m a nobody to them. It won’t last and it won’t matter. I hate seeing friend groups because they feel stupid. I’m a proud incel girl. I can be a fucking incel, I'm 13.5, it's a good fucking title for me.

See? People are a risk. I can live like an introvert. Work, eat, sleep 7 hours, watch some favorite stuff, draw, repeat. It’s a life many adults do anyways for a while. Look what traveling did to me, it made me sick. Only bad thing now is I’m going to a new home in a few months, which I have to convince my parents somehow I should stay here, my original home. If some real kids can convince their parents not to divorce, I can convince them to not leave and just have them you know, stay and enjoy their investment of the house, even though they spent money on it. I’m smart for saying moving is bad. The kids there will look at me weird, and even if I’m in the same school, I don’t care. New big neighborhood men’ means it’s a social death sentence for me. I’m allowed to stay at home. My original home is safe. You said I CAN not make any friends, so that means I CAN not seek out anyone unless it’s a doctor or anything, but driving, work people, friends, restaurant workers, nope. I’m not gonna drive, I’m not gonna go to college, or pursue any of my interests. Just be a cashier, it’s low stakes and nobody cares for me. Good. Good life. Then I can go home, draw, bathe, pay rent, eat dinner, and sleep. Be Yoshikage Kira, minus the murder aspect. Just have a quiet life and be the background guy forever. It’s easier. That’s my quest for stillness. I may want friends, but since life hasn’t given me any despite me changing, I just simply can’t get them, I’ll give that up and just study, just pass exams, somehow manage 9th grade in IGCSE from CBSE, somehow manage without my original tuition teacher, and just draw and watch stuff and walk in my house because it’s a villa, and even though it’s a big neighborhood, no. I don’t deserve to exist as myself, so I’ll just be the nobody’s of the world. I was nice, my classmates didn’t notice, I was mean, still. Quiet, still didn’t notice. I’d rather just leave at this point. Not life, but just being a person in society, just a person in outskirt city. I hate it when I see people smiling with friends because I know the truth, it’s not gonna last. Since nothing lasts, nothing matters. I’m 13 going to 9th in a bit, so this matters. The last thing to actually matter. Everything matters because we as humans have such short lives, despite everything being temporary. I’m 13, and in the next 10 years, I’ll live in the outskirts. I’ve already lived in the outskirts of school long enough, I’m used to it.

I don’t matter. No one liked me no matter how I acted. I just concluded I can be a wallflower forever. I’ve lived as one anyways long enough to get used to it being permanent. I’m a crazy diamond like Syd Barrett, eventually his reassignment was the reason his band succeeded. Only thing is at least they remembered Syd, who’d remember me and me where I was? My family won’t matter because when you’re an adult, you leave them behind. It’s what everyone does, no matter what dad says about “leaving if your job is also far away, but otherwise you can stay with them”. No. Just let me be still. Forever. I’ve died inside before I even got to see anything good, because it doesn’t exist. Now that we’re moving in a few months, it’s not a new leaf, it’s a new wasteland. A new bad land unless I stay behind in my home, which is 35 minutes away from the new place. Imagine the new kids there who are also disgusting monsters. They’ll only reject me because I know the truth, change is bad. Even before a child says hi to me, I need to role with an iron fist and fight them back with poisonous words, or push them if I have to. I don’t know, I’m scared of these freaks. My subconscious may want some peace, but we got to think logically about this. I’ve survived 7 years, I can survive the next of life. I’m not gonna stack now because I’m on a trip and I don’t see much kids unless they’re coming from school, which even then it disgusts me seeing them laughing together because they think it’s a good time that lasts for only 3 days.

My stupid subconscious may crave hope for one friend now that it’s a neighborhood, but I don’t like it. It’s proven wrong many times with horrid “SMALL TALK”, so I don’t believe it. I wish I had one person who would just leave me alone in this thought, and they’d agree. Too bad they’re not real. The Saya to me, the Fuminori. I wish I had a person who’d share this vision with me, and love me for thinking the same. They’d love me for hating this pathetic world, because they do too. I don’t care if it’s not healthy, if it isn’t, what’s the point of “health”? Humans are shits anyways. Why should I care if I want something better if it doesn’t exist? It’s like wanting a unicorn, it’s not real. Why search someone so fucking fake? My stupid self is that, stupid for wanting better, for believing they exist, for wanting to have another go and thinking that maybe moving a good idea. I’m tougher for saying it isn’t and being rigid. It’s immature of me to maybe look out for more, when there isn’t.

Too bad now in a few days I'm gonna go to a dumb dance class I only said yes to from mom is to please her. I don't believe I'm a good dancer, even fi the teacher said to mom I did an "advanced dance lesson" better than beginners. That's a fucking lie! I don't believe you because I don't believe myself! Those kids didn't laugh to seem respectful, they aren't being honest, they're trying to fake niceness. Just like fucking life. Where the pros treat the new guy with pity, I don't need fucking pity, I want people to berate me because that's honesty to me! And when someone hates the world and wants to burn it as much as I do, I'd be more than friends, because we share the same true vision of the "Earth". Too bad school itself is gonna start day after tomorrow, because guess what, there's the fucking rigged system! The ruler, the principal, may claim we are a united body, but we're all divided into cliques and crews, fuck her. I hope she suffers a painful death with HIV. Fuck the future, fuck the adults, and fuck anyone who isn't a Saya! Fuck!

I'm typing this while at work. Over the last 2-3 weeks, I have started to despise my job. I've always wanted to work in Marketing, but I'm actually miserable. The boss I once liked is getting more and more overbearing, and she is such a stickler for the rules that it's actually affecting my creativity and how I function at work. (EX: Can't use lowercase letters for a graphic because she doesn't like it OR have to clock in and can't be salaried like everyone else in the building and makes a big deal about making up hours in accordance with "policy" that NONE of the other departments follow). I work in a giant communal office that is dim and only has three small windows. In my last job at the same company, I was allowed to take my laptop and sit outside and work. As long as I got my work done, it didn't matter where I did it from. My current boss won't let me leave the office. Lunch breaks have to be an hour on the dot, and she even gets annoyed if you're in the bathroom too long.

I feel stifled in my creativity, I always feel connected to my job, I hate coming to work to sit in this dim office, I hate that my boss won't give me any kind of freedom when she knows I can do my job and I do it well. To top it all off, my eyes are tired every day from staring at the computer my entire shift. I feel like I don't have any personal time for my husband, I don't have time to work on my hobbies because I'm so annoyed and tired after work, and I'm overall just miserable.

Just quit, then, you may say. Well, I can't. My husband and I were just given the opportunity to rent one of the houses my company owns. It's four bed, two bath, and it includes wifi and rent is only $550 a month. That's amazing. We were paying upwards of $1600 per month including utilities for a one bed, one bath crappy house for the past year, and payments were getting hard. But I have to work at the company in order to rent the new house. So, even though I'm miserable and feel like I'm wasting my life (I'm 24, I shouldn't be feeling this way), I can't leave. We're saving too much money for me to leave. Plus, my husband has to wait a year before we could move anywhere because he has to see if he gets into the grad program he's applying for.

I don't know what to do. I made an appointment to see a counselor, something I never thought I'd do, and I have that this weekend. How am I supposed to do this job for a whole year when I feel like crying every day when I leave? It's affecting my whole life. I am grumpy at everyone, even people I love dearly like my husband and parents. The only time I feel somewhat like myself is the weekend, and even then, I'm so busy doing side jobs to make money, I barely have time to breath. Life is supposed to be about working to live, not living to work. I see marketing girlies sitting by the beach with their laptops, drinking coffee, and making a ton of money, and I know that's extreme, but I want to at least be able to open a freaking window or be able to work from home some days and not feel guilty if I ever have to take a sick day. I feel hopeless at the moment. What can I do?

I’ve always been somewhat paranoid about food hygiene – blame it on years in food service plus childhood memories of getting sick from our granny’s meals. My partner, however, tends to dismiss my concerns about food safety, only really embracing the culinary arts himself the last few years. Although he’s pretty competent, he occasionally disregards my cautious food advice, opting instead to trust the general advice online, which tends to annoy me.

A couple of weeks ago, while we were putting away groceries, I noticed that one of the bottles of sauce didn't look quite right—it was unusually dark and the oil had separated. I suggested he take a picture, request a refund, and discard it. Although he agreed that something seemed off, he just put it back on the shelf. Over the next several days, I mentioned the sauce a few times, concerned that he had not yet thrown it out. After some repeated discussions, I gave up.

Then, out of nowhere, he messages me to say he had to stop working due to vomiting. He hardly ever gets ill, so I immediately worried. It turned out he had consumed the suspicious sauce and was suffering the consequences. Despite my frustration, I helped him settle down with electrolytes and his video game, mostly because I had a doctor’s appointment the next day which he’d promised to attend with me, and now everything seemed more complicated.

Thankfully, he recovered quickly—fast enough to accompany me as promised. However, as he was feeling better and began to prepare himself something to eat, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer and pointed out that this incident wouldn’t have happened if he’d heeded my initial warning. This sparked a bit of a heated debate where he insisted it was just a bad luck incident, while I felt vindicated in my caution.

Now, we’re locked in disagreement; if you think I was harsh for confronting him when he was nearly recovered, I’m prepared to say sorry. If not, I stand by my stance.

One has to wonder how this episode would’ve unfolded if it were being filmed for a reality show. Imagine the dramatic zoom-ins and suspenseful music as I inspect the sauce and declare it bad, cut to him eating the sauce against a backdrop of ominous tunes, and then the inevitable 'I-told-you-so' showdown. Would the audience side with me, or see my nagging as over the top?

Im gna fucking lose my shit if my dad keeps talking to me. He expects me to study 18 hours a day and while he sits in the living room, no job, four kids and a wife to provide for. Its fucking crazy coming from him since he’s genuinely an idiot. He keeps saying he’s gna beat the shit out of me if i fail

This is a genuine cry for fucking help

I guess I’ve always been out of place since I was like a kid,like from 1st grade(I’m 18 now btw) I was littering an outcast cause I could only speak English yeah imagine.Now it’s 6th grade and everyone suddenly has a crush and there I am being all confused and weirded out by love in general which made me feel more out of place and to try and fit in I just pointed at a random guy from the next class during lunch break and said that he was my crush (I’m so dumb for that).

Anyways high school rolls in and everyone is dating left right and center well except me-maybe because I was a chopped ahh with a buzz cut-and like every other girl had long hair except me(side plot:I was very gender dysmorphic at that time so I cut my hair and told people to address me by they/them🫪).Everytime someone would ask me why I didn’t like anyone I just said I didn’t because duh I don’t,so someone started a rumor that I was lesbian which made me a target for a lot of homophobic remarks and when I confronted the person who spread the rumors so they stopped and then proceeded to say I was trans mtf which was out of pocket and I then had to confront them again😭(Promise this leads some where and I’m an ally yallz )Anyways this made me realize that this was all because I didn’t have a boyfriend and wasn’t interested in having one at all and I genuinely thought it was a skill issue or I was just emo🥲.I then started talking to ‘Josh’ which was actually pretty fun cuz he was a nice and friendly person and we had a lot in common but I didn’t feel what you are supposed to feel when you love someone I guess,so I just kinda ghosted him after like a year and guess what a new girl comes and 2 weeks in to them talking they are dating 💀🔫.Like okay so clearly the problem is me right.

At 15,I became friends with a guy from my church,’Kyle’.So he was literally the only friend I had since most of my friends and moved out of town and he was literally the only person who talked to me.I never really thought to much about the idea of us being together cuz we were just church buddies until we started hanging out more and my brother noticed and started shipping us which annoyed the hell out of me.Kyle then started flirting with me and I obviously was blatant about it and flirted back thinking it was a joke and long story short he asked me to be his girlfriend (over text💀) and I said yes-but I felt guilty about it because I didn’t see him in that way so I kinda had to put some emotional distance between us cuz I felt like a horrible person.

So yeah he broke up with me 3 weeks later saying that God spoke to him 🥲 (over text) and I wasn’t upset it felt like when you see a funny TikTok and before you save it your FYP refreshes….okay maybe I am the problem.So I tried doing my own research to find out why I’m like this and apparently I might be AROACE,which means I experience little to no sexual and romantic attraction to anyone,which is soo gut crushing for me cuz if it is true does it mean that I will never fall in love 😭😭😭Like dude I want to get butterflies and feel heartbroken,like why am I like this it’s the biggest whomp in the world my life.This is like a basic human experience and I just can’t have it.I like to see love like I genuinely do enjoy 2000s romcom unironically okay shot me.But at the back of my mind I think I just have this deep feeling that I can’t love myself enough to love someone else like I don’t have love to give and I just repress my emotions…..So yeah any form of advice would help🥀

sometimes it feels like nothing around me is real

like a few days ago I was at a marching band competition and we were walking back to the busses after performing and suddenly it felt like I was walking in a dream, thing felt distant even if I was right there

it's happened before but it never lasts long

any advice or uh like answers?