Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

you ever just lie in bed and wonder why the hell you're tossing and turning all night??? like seriously, what gives??!! i'm talking about getting tangled in sheets, flipping pillows to the cool side every damn ten minutes, counting every sheep like a math problem gone wrong, but nothing works, right???!! i'm sick of playing this nocturnal game where sleep remains the ultimate prize that seems so far out of reach!!! aren't we all just combatting our own circadian rhythms' betrayal???? i mean, the pineal gland is supposed to secrete melatonin to help us snooze but apparently mine's gone on vacation. you ever consider how cortisol plays into this mess, keeping us wired and wide-eyed when all we want is some peace and damn quiet???? sleep hygiene experts preach about creating an optimal sleep environment, like cool, dark, and quiet settings but what if it's not the physical space that's the problem?? maybe it's the mental clutter or unresolved tension from the day that's keeping us in this nightly rut?! like, who doesn't have a carousel of anxious thoughts spinning in their head the second they hit the sack?!! brain, would you mind giving it a rest for once??!!! why does it feel like you're the lead protagonist in this insomnia-driven drama, directed by the hypothalamus and the overproduction of cortisol?!?! does nobody else wonder why our internal thermostats decide to go haywire and suddenly midnight feels like we're lying on the surface of the sun??? the irony of a sleep number bed in which your only consistent number is zero makes me question why i even bother with these expensive sleep aids??!! we pay for weighted blankets, sound machines, and blackout curtains yet the cogs in our overactive brains still churn like a sleep-deprived hamster wheel!!!!! these sleep disruptions aren't just a mere inconvenience, aren’t they potentially eroding our REM sleep, intricately interlinked with cognitive function and emotional regulation???? why don’t we question how the pituitary gland contributes to this insomniac orchestra, blaring its growth hormones at nocturnal hours when all we crave is silence??? on that note, why does the world consistently underestimate the value of proper restorative rest??? why aren't we prioritizing sleep with the same intensity we allocate to fitness and diet?!! it's like an ongoing battle of trying to tune into a calm brainwave pattern but always ending up with the static noise of random worries!!! do digital devices or blue light villains interfere with our pathetic attempts at counting sheep??!! i'd sacrifice half my social media scrolling time for just five extra minutes of actual, honest-to-god deep sleep, wouldn't you???? sure, caffeine's an antagonist in this thriller story, yet why does your overtired self crave it like the elixir of life the following day?? irony much?! wouldn't you agree that the moment we drift into a slight drowsy state, the daily catastrophe slideshow begins on repeat???? like, why is memory consolidation and dreaming entangled in this storytelling of nonsensical adventures that I’d never embark on willingly???!!! does nobody else ponder how each futile sleep cycle contributes to the endless narrative of frustration and fatigue?!! i'm just baffled by this nightly absurdity, questioning whether it's a cosmic joke played on all sleep-starved souls out there!!! i swear the hippocampus and amygdala have something more sinister planned when i'm left there starring into the abyss of the ceiling at ungodly hours!! you get what i'm saying, right??? the intricate science behind sleep, the circadian rhythm, neurotransmitters, and neuroendocrine pathways are so damn fascinating yet infuriating when you can't find the off switch!!! why aren't we figuring out this enigma that plagues the best of us??! why does sleep feel elusive as ever, a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma??? please tell me, next time you toss and turn, will you join me in this quest for answers?????!!

My sister recently had a baby, and I’m genuinely excited for her. However, she decided to name her new baby boy Bark. Yes, Bark, like the sound a dog makes. Initially, I thought it was a playful joke and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It turns out, she was completely serious.

When she noticed my reaction, she asked what was so funny. I explained that the name resembled a canine’s bark, a bit like "Bark bark?" I expected her to laugh it off, too, but to my surprise, she became upset. Apparently, I had touched a nerve.

She explained that the name was significant to both her and her husband. They had chosen the name Bark because it's the name of a beloved character from a rather niche video game they both adore. I did my best to be understanding and clarified that they should choose whatever name they feel is right, but I couldn’t help but express my concern about how others might perceive it, especially as he grows and starts school.

Since our conversation, she has stopped responding to my messages and calls. Even my mom thinks I should have just kept my thoughts to myself. Is it really just me who sees potential issues with the name Bark?

I certainly didn’t intend to upset anyone, especially not about something as important as a child’s name. However, the name "Bark"? It’s hard not to imagine some challenging scenarios he might face because of it. I wonder if my sister is perhaps being slightly overreactive, or if I’m truly the one at fault here.

Imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality show—cameras capturing every grimace and uncomfortable silence. The viewers would probably be split; some might applaud my frankness while others could see me as insensitive. Reality TV thrives on these clashes, but experiencing it firsthand really makes you ponder about the weight of words and the complexities of family dynamics.

Ultimately, is maintaining family harmony more important than voicing concerns about potential teasing a child might endure? It’s a tough call to make, even if it made for engaging television.

What would be your reaction if someone named their child Bark?

wherever I try to make friends online, they ALWAYS want +18 photos!! I'm not fun or interesting enough for people my age and older people just want to manipulate me, wth

My boyfriend, Jeff, who's 32, and I, 27, have been in a relationship for over a year now. He had only met my parents once during last year's holidays because they live quite a bit away from us. They decided to visit this past week to see our new apartment and spend more time with Jeff since we recently moved in together.

We have a spare bedroom in our place which Jeff has set up as his gaming sanctuary, but we both agreed it would serve as the guest room whenever we have visitors. Jeff is a big fan of video games and anime; he has this vast collection of figurines and posters from various series.

Among his collection are some items like an anime body pillow with a print of a scantily clad anime girl and a mousepad featuring a voluptuous anime character. I asked him to tidy up the room and put these particular items away before my parents arrived, aiming to make them comfortable. However, I was disappointed to find he hadn’t shifted the pillow or the mousepad.

I’m personally not very keen on those items, but since he's passionate about anime, I haven't made a big deal about it before. Though with my parents visiting, I believed those items weren't suitable for their stay. I discreetly removed the pillowcase and concealed the body pillow in the closet, and hid the mousepad in our bedroom drawer.

Upon their arrival, my parents were shown to their room, and later, Jeff noticed the changes. That night, he addressed the issue, challenging why I hid them. I explained that it was to ensure my parents’ comfort. He was clearly upset and felt that I was embarrassed by his interests in anime, accusing me of reacting like everyone else who had judged him over the years.

The following day, he began packing away his manga books from our living room. He defended his actions by suggesting he was safeguarding me from discomfort. This whole episode has been distressing; he's withdrawn and barely interacts with my folks. They sense something's off and keep questioning me, leaving me grappling with what to explain.

I'm torn; my intent wasn’t to hurt him but to manage the situation thoughtfully. Now, Jeff's feelings are hurt, and it has created a cold tension during what was supposed to be a happy family visit.

If this conflict was a segment on a reality TV show, the reactions would probably be explosively divided. Viewers might side with my protective nature regarding my parents' comfort, while others could argue that I should embrace Jeff's interests openly, regardless of the visit. Reality shows thrive on such drama, often amplifying the emotional stakes with dramatic music and cliffhanger cuts, possibly making the situation appear even more intense than it actually is. I can just imagine the online polls and social media buzz it would generate, questioning the balance between personal interests and respect towards one's partner.

Should I have respected my partner's interests more?

I don’t even know how to start this, but it’s been bothering me for a while now. I keep asking myself, why don’t people like me? Like, what am I doing wrong? I try to be nice to everyone, but it feels like no one really wants to be my friend. And honestly, it’s starting to feel really lonely.

In school, it’s like I’m invisible most of the time. I’ll sit with people during lunch or in class, but I’m never the one they actually talk to. It’s always someone else. When I try to join the conversation, it’s like they don’t even hear me, or they just give me this fake smile and move on. I can’t tell if it’s something I said or if there’s just something about me that makes people not want to hang out with me.

I thought maybe I’m too quiet or awkward, so I tried being more outgoing. Last week, I went to this party that I wasn’t even sure I was invited to (I overheard someone talking about it and decided to just show up). I tried talking to a group of people, but they kept looking at their phones or each other like they were waiting for me to stop talking. One of them even got up and walked away while I was mid-sentence. It was so embarrassing. I ended up leaving early and crying in my car for like an hour.

My mom keeps telling me, “Just be yourself, and the right people will like you.” But what if being myself is the problem? Maybe I’m just boring, or annoying, or too weird for people to care about. I mean, I see other people with their huge friend groups, laughing and posting about all the fun stuff they do together, and I just feel so... left out. It’s like there’s this secret code to making friends, and I didn’t get the memo.

Sometimes, I wonder if people even notice me at all. Like, if I wasn’t there, would they even care? Or would they just go on like nothing happened? And if this was a reality show, what would people think of me? Would they feel bad for me, or would they be laughing at how pathetic I look trying to fit in where I obviously don’t belong? Maybe they’d just fast-forward through my scenes because I’m not “interesting” enough.

I’ve tried to figure out what I’m doing wrong. Maybe it’s the way I talk? Or the fact that I don’t know how to make jokes like other people? Or maybe I come across as too desperate? I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I’m trying so hard to get people to like me, and it’s just making things worse.

It’s not like I haven’t tried making friends. I’ve joined clubs, gone to events, and even reached out to people online. But nothing ever really clicks. People will talk to me for a little while, but then they stop responding or just fade away. I don’t want to seem clingy, so I stop trying, but then I feel even lonelier. It’s like this never-ending cycle that I can’t escape.

I wish I could just stop caring. Like, who needs friends anyway, right? But the truth is, I do care. I want to have people I can talk to, hang out with, and just feel like I matter to someone. But no matter what I do, it feels like I’m stuck on the outside looking in.

If anyone’s reading this and has felt the same way, what did you do? How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough? Or better yet, how do you get people to like you without feeling like you’re begging for their attention?

And if this really was a reality show, what would people say about me? Would they see someone who’s trying too hard and laugh, or would they actually feel bad for me? Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Is that really too much to ask?

man, I don’t even know where to begin... it’s like I’m stuck in this nightmare where everything I thought was gonna work just blew up in my face. I’m 29, and I really thought I had it figured out – you know, saw all those TikToks and YouTube vids telling me to quit my boring job, follow my passion, hustle hard, be my own boss... so I did it. I jumped in head first, dumped all my savings into this business idea I thought would make me a legend. but it didn’t. not even close. now I’m broke, like completely wiped out, and it’s not like I can just go back to a regular 9-5. I’ve been trying, but no one wants to hire someone with a failed business and no recent experience. it’s like I’m just a loser now, and it sucks. I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends what really happened, and my family just doesn’t get it. they’re like “why don’t you just get a job?” as if it’s that easy. bro, I’m trying! every application gets ghosted, and every interview feels like they can see right through me.

honestly, I feel like such a failure. it’s like all the confidence I used to have is just gone. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I used to be so sure of my choices, so convinced I was meant to do something big, and now I’m just... here, stuck, feeling like I’m falling behind while everyone else is moving forward. I wake up every morning with this pit in my stomach, wondering how I’m gonna make it through the day. I hate feeling like I’m stuck in this endless loop of trying and failing, trying and failing. I don’t even know what I’m good at anymore, and that’s terrifying. like, what’s the point of even trying if everything just falls apart anyway? 😞 have you ever felt like this? like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t catch a break?

it’s weird because I’m not even angry about it – just... numb, I guess. I keep telling myself it’s temporary, that I’ll figure it out, but it’s getting harder to believe that. I feel like I’m drowning in my own mistakes, like there’s no way out. and the worst part is, I’m scared to tell anyone just how bad it is because I don’t want them to think less of me. but keeping it to myself is eating me alive. I wish I knew what to do, how to turn things around, but right now, I just feel stuck. like the world’s moving on without me, and I’m just watching from the sidelines. have you ever felt that way? like you’re screaming inside but no one can hear you? because that’s where I’m at right now;

friendly advice to those who will read me: all these "entrepreneurs" that you see on the Internet, they are all liars and scammers... they are not entrepreneurs, they just want to make you want to be like them to sell you ridiculous training courses (yeah, you see... the famous masterclass that you have to follow to know how to win 100,000$ per month and work 2 hours per week? that kind of shit...).

at 49 years old, i've arrived at a rather unceremonious realization: nothing makes me happy. it’s strange because society programs us with a checklist for happiness, doesn’t it? i climbed the corporate ladder, securing a lucrative position as a senior executive that one could only dream of. financial security was supposed to be synonymous with contentment, or so they said. but every payday, every bonus, and every dollar accumulated in my bank account seemed to lose its luster within days. i attended countless seminars and read numerous self-help books yet the existential void within me remained unfilled. when i banked my first six-figure check, i briefly basked in what i assumed was joy. but the novelty of a swollen account balance wore off faster than i care to admit.

I figured maybe i needed something more soulful, like marriage and a family. i received talk after talk about how a loving husband and a couple of kids would complete me; “your own personal cheerleaders in this rat race!” my mother constantly reminded me. dating was a nightmare coated in fake smiles and dreadful first-date questions, which i obliged to endure. against all odds, i did marry. i am married. yet even within the once-romantic confines of what was supposed to be ‘happily ever after', i often feel as though I'm in a partnership devoid of passion and genuine connection. this supposed 'holy grail' of familial bliss feels more like treading water than anything else.

having a home with a white picket fence painted the picture of the quintessential american dream i bought into it: lock, stock, and barrel. talk about a classic case of bait and switch; i found myself obsessing over the curb appeal and interior aesthetics, contemplating if a new sectional in the living room would spark joy. but let me tell you, there is no depth or warmth to hardwood floors that compensates for an empty, echoing house. similarly with cars – the gleaming metal beasts parked strategically in the driveway as status symbols – all nothing more than shiny cages on wheels. behind the tinted windows of my latest luxury car, the road ahead feels as mundane as stepping onto a public transit bus.

are these the metrics by which we should measure our happiness? it is almost cruel how these societal benchmarks – job, marriage, possessions – are willed to us as recipes for happiness, when instead they align more with a cycle of perennial dissatisfaction. why do we perpetuate this fallacy? often, i catch myself longing for the present moment to end as quickly as it began, as if i am perpetually waiting for a revelatory experience that never arrives. “chase after this, achieve this, by forty you’ll be settled,” they said; when in reality, here i am with these supposedly gratifying possessions yet feeling no different than the restless, aspiring 20-year-old who began this relentless pursuit. tell me, what am i missing in this equation? should I try to completely change my job for something that i love? (but no idea... what could I love as a job...)

why when you're talking to your parents and you're trying to vent to them or something and they start giving you unwanted advice and then you want to cry because they're not taking you serious and what you're saying and then you're about to cry and they ask oh are you about to cry and they start mocking you about it and then they make a face try to show that you're going to cry or something and then when you actually start doing it they're just like oh there's nothing to cry about like why do you do that like you're my parent you're supposed to hug me and call me if you think I'm going to cry you're not supposed to just sit there and laugh at me or make a face about it because I don't want you to give me this advice I'm just telling you how I feel when you do a certain something I'm not telling you to tell me how I should feel when something happens or how I should deal with something I'm just telling you how I feel what I'm going to do I'm not asking for this advice I'm just telling you what's happening and how I feel I'm not telling you to give me this advice because I already know what I'm going to do about half the time you're the reason I do because you made me go up so fast because if I don't grow fast enough then I'm a problem because I need to keep my room cleaning you this and you watch a little sister you need to wash the dishes you need to watch all the siblings and make sure that they don't do anything and then all this stuff so yes I know what I'm going to do because I'm not I'm a child but I'm not a 7 year old who's asking for advice I am a teenager who knows already what they're going to do and then on top of that I'm just doing so many things so I don't have a moment to breathe and so when I finally telling you how I feel I'm not telling you to make fun of me when I'm about to start crying because I'm finally letting all my emotions I'm not telling you to put a finger next to your eye to make the tears that are about to fall for my eyes I am telling you how am I feeling hug me say it's going to get better don't tell me this advice that's not even about the situation because you never been in this situation before because I'm different from my parents and they didn't grow up in the situation that I am and I am a very very well off child and I will never say that I'm not grateful for my parents do for me because I am beyond grateful they do everything that I ask and it they just don't have it right now they'll tell me and then they will come up with the plans trying to make it happen for me so I am so beyond grateful for that and I will never say that I love but there is a certain moments where they are just so unbearably unsufferable because I'm not allowed to express my feelings half the time because when I do finally try to express my feelings so it is not it's not that serious or something like please you need to understand but that's it because parents are going to keep doing what they do and no matter how many times I tried to tell them it's never going to stop . (this was typed using voice text so if that if it doesn't make sense that's why my bad too anyone reading this)

sincerely,

Melody (13 f)

For my husband's birthday, I decided to surprise him with a homemade two-layer banana cake, knowing his appreciation for the flavor, despite his lactose intolerance. To accommodate his dietary restrictions, I meticulously prepared both a vegan frosting and a delightful vegan toffee sauce, which I was proud of. As we prepared to sing "Happy Birthday," I excitedly mentioned the special cake and its vegan components while he approached the dessert table.

Unexpectedly, in front of all our guests, he questioned the point of baking him a cake at all, given he hadn't enjoyed them for years. His blunt response left me feeling deeply wounded, especially since I had hoped to make his day special. It confused me further because whenever I bought him banana cake from our local bakery, he seemed to genuinely enjoy it, often praising it.

Despite the awkward moment, I tried to maintain a cheerful demeanor for the remainder of the party. Afterward, he sensed my dismay and inquired if I was alright. I expressed my disappointment and vowed never to bake for him again, to which he oddly thanked me, adding that I should have known better, making me feel even worse.

Compounding the situation was the fact that we share the same birthday, and I had also prepared a separate chocolate cake for myself, which now felt more like a solace than a celebration.

Can you imagine if this scenario played out on a reality show? Cameras rolling as the tension unfolds, capturing every nuance of the interaction and likely amplifying our expressions and reactions for dramatic effect. Viewers would probably be divided, with some sympathizing with my attempt to personalize a thoughtful gesture and others possibly siding with my husband, thinking perhaps there was some unspoken backstory explaining his harsh reaction. The discussion panels would buzz, and social media would light up with opinions and possibly even memes, turning our private moment into a public spectacle.

I certainly felt alone and misunderstood in that moment, but how would I have handled the amplified pressure of public judgment? Would the added scrutiny help mend our miscommunication, or would it drive a deeper wedge between us?

I never imagined I’d find myself even thinking this, let alone writing it down—but lately, I’ve been wondering if my son truly loves me anymore. We used to be so close when he was younger. He’d run to me after school, tell me about his day, ask me for advice. Now, at 26, he barely picks up the phone. Messages go unread for days. If we do talk, it’s short, clipped, and he sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. I know children grow up, I know they build their own lives—but this feels different. It doesn’t feel like distance, it feels like rejection. Like he resents me, or worse, doesn't care at all.

It’s in the little things that the pain creeps in. Holidays, for example—he’ll visit, but only because I ask, and he never stays long. He doesn’t initiate hugs anymore. There’s no warmth in his voice. Last Christmas, he showed up late, didn’t bring a gift or even a card, and spent most of the evening on his phone. When I tried to talk to him about his job, he just mumbled one-word answers. I used to know everything going on in his life. Now I learn about major updates from social media—after he’s told everyone else. When I mention feeling left out, he tells me I’m being too emotional or dramatic. That word—dramatic—burns every time.

I’ve tried to reflect on where I might have gone wrong. I wasn’t perfect. I yelled sometimes. I had rules, like any parent. I worked long hours when he was young, trying to provide. But I loved him with everything I had. I sat at his bedside when he was sick. I helped him with homework late into the night. I gave up so much so he could have opportunities I never had. So when he acts like I’m just some obligation now, it breaks something in me. I don’t need constant praise or attention—but I do need to feel like I matter in his life, like I’m still his mom and not some figure he’s trying to avoid.

The hardest part is that I can’t talk to anyone about it without sounding bitter. Friends will say, “He’s just busy,” or “It’s a phase.” But when that “phase” stretches into years, you start to ask yourself deeper questions. Like, what if he really doesn’t love me anymore? What if all the love I poured into raising him just... faded on his end? There are signs I can’t ignore anymore. No “I love you” at the end of calls. No interest in my life—he never asks how I’m doing. Birthdays are forgotten. He cancels plans without apology. It’s not just neglect; it’s indifference. And indifference hurts more than anger, because at least anger means they feel something.

What makes this worse is watching him with other people. I’ve seen him be so kind to his girlfriend’s family—bringing flowers, planning trips, sending thoughtful texts. I’m happy he’s found love, but it stings to know I don’t get that version of him anymore. Maybe he’s giving his best to others now, and there’s nothing left for me. I wonder if he sees me as just a reminder of his childhood or a source of guilt. I don’t want his pity, I just want a little of that love back. A phone call where he’s not distracted. A visit he actually wants to make. A moment where he looks at me like I still mean something.

I know I can’t force love. I know that adult children don’t owe their parents constant attention. But love shows up in effort, in presence, in the small gestures that say “you still matter.” And right now, all the signs point to something I never thought I’d face—a son who’s moved on from loving his mother. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just feeling lonley, reading too much into things. But if you’ve ever felt this ache too, then you know it’s not easy to ignore. I just hope one day he remembers the woman who raised him, who loved him even when he pulled away, and decides to come back—not out of guilt, but because he wants to. Until then, I wait, and wonder if the silence is my answer.

For almost half a decade, my husband and I have battled infertility. This trying path has seen us engage in numerous IVF attempts, endless medical consultations, and ride an emotional rollercoaster. Despite this challenge, we’ve kept most of our family informed, including my sister, who recently celebrated her marriage.

At her wedding reception, she decided to deliver a speech that started on a conventional note. But unexpectedly, she veered off into making a joke about my childlessness, suggesting I was the “favorite” child for being able to live 'freely' without kids, unlike herself and other parents worn out by their duties. Her words, followed by laughter from some guests, hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt my cheeks burning with embarrassment and disbelief; her sarcastic remark was a direct hit to my years of hidden struggles. Knowing how much my infertility pained me, it felt as if she was mocking my deepest insecurities.

I managed to stay composed for a few minutes, but soon, I couldn’t bear it any longer. In need of escape, I quietly left the celebration, with my husband by my side. As we drove away, my phone flooded with messages from relatives curious about our abrupt departure. It turned out that my sister had noticed our absence and was livid, accusing me of making a spectacle and overshadowing her special day. The family seemed divided, with some echoing her sentiments, labeling me overly sensitive and claiming it was “just a joke.”

My exit from the wedding wasn’t intended to cause drama; it was a necessary retreat to preserve my mental wellbeing. Leaving was my silent protest against her insensitivity.

If this scenario unfolded on a reality show, the reaction might be amplified. Cameras would capture every nuance of my reaction and her speech, potentially sparking a dramatic, tear-filled confrontation. Viewers could see interviews where family members pick sides, and social media could become a battleground of opinions, with hashtags siding with either me or my sister. Such publicity would magnify every element of the family drama.

Was I right to leave my sister’s wedding after her "joke"? I chose the "bridezilla" category, not exactly that but you see...

Hey, I am a mother of a toddler and a business partner (of course with my husband) and WIFE to my husband. we are together 24/7 everyday dealing all the tasks of work and home.... I am lacking fun. Thanks to my bad childhood and the most nagging and control freak mother i never had a real friendship. That is still the case and i am not able to establish friendly relationship with anyone. Literally i am with a company all day around. To be honest my hubby is a 90% good guy but miser in terms of fun or romance. to give you context, i never had any gift from him in my 12 years of togetherness. when i am feeling utterly lonely even when accompanied - in terms of fun or having a life at all... am getting frustrated and i am starting to fight with him over small insignificant matters and things become more worse, i become more stressed and back to work life routine. I feel trapped. I do not have any company for the fun part of my life. I am desperately lonely in terms of a friend with whom i could share and just have a casual no tasky or businessy or home matter conversation. I am stuck, stressed and more than anything, i am angry at myself. To be honest, i do not know how to be happy with just myself.

It's so strange that in my 19 years of life I have never seen able to make any friends. I do have one friend whom I went to school with and whom I have known for 15 years but now that she has a Bf we don't get to talk as much. Even in Uni I still haven't been able to make any friends. I'm an introvert so it's already kinda hard for me to talk to people and to be honest it drains me out.

I don't really care about socialising or making friends that much as I'm more focused on my studies and getting successful but sometimes it hurts to have no one to talk to. I don't know what is the reason honestly if there's something wrong with me or what idk.

Sometimes I wonder if I died would anyone even care?

Maybe I'm too boring to talk or maybe my Vibes don't match here. It's so depressing sometimes to just be alone in class, at home, everywhere it sucks. Sometimes I just want to cry because there's literally nobody I can talk to.

I just wanted to vent here because like I said I don't have anyone to talk to.

so lately i've been OBSESSED with this guy Noah Kahan

so I took one of my fav songs by it and made my own version of it

if you've heard the song you'll probably notice I kept a few of my fav lines the same cuz they're too good to alter :P

the song I redid was You're Gonna Go Far

and I have no idea if my version is good or not lol

so here it is:

I never ever felt so damn sorry

As when I saw you drive away after screaming,

"I never ever want to see you again"

I regret all that I said

This is good land, or at least it was

It takes a strong hand and a sound mind

All our kids are gettin’ so old, aint they?

They’ve been leaving out of town, like they can’t wait

Half don’t even live in the same state

If they got an appointment, they’ll be late

This is good land, or at least it was

It takes a strong hand and a sound mind

I never smile, but I know when I get rough,

Ooh, you got enough

Ooh, you got enough where you are

And while I yell and scream across the yard

Ooh, you'll be far

Ooh, you'll be far, far from here

So, you packed up your car, I put my hand on your heart

I said, “This is what you want,

But you ain’t gonna get far”

But I ain't angry at you, love

You're the greatest thing I've lost

The water still flows, the sun will still shine,

And everyone knows

One day, we’ll all die

I ain't angry at you, love

I’m just waitin’ for you, love

And I’m always here forever

And I’m always here forever

I sure am

My heart’s been achin’ since you left

Thinkin’ ‘bout what I said

“You know, you won’t go nowhere.”

But you know I’ve, you know I’ve been livin' just to die

You told me you would make a difference

Well, I got drunk and shut you down

It won't be by your own volition

If you step foot outside this town

But it's all we need

For always

So, you packed up your car, I put my hand on your heart

I said, “This is what you want,

But you ain’t gonna get far”

But I wasn’t angry at you, love

You were the greatest thing I've lost

The water still flowed, the sun still shined

And still, we all know, someday, we’ll all die

I wasn't angry at you, love

Was just waitin' for you, love

And I’ll still be here forever

And I'll still be here forever

You know, you went far!

You know, you went far!

You know, you went far!

You know, you went far!

Yes, you did (ooh)

If you wanna go (go) far

Then you gotta go (go) far

I don’t really have companions because, truthfully, I never tried much to make them. It seems I’ve lived isolated for the most of my life. I do have a family—my parents are around—but beyond that, I’m on my own. As a kid, I was the shy one, and over the years, that shyness turned into a preference for solitude. It’s as if I constructed my own quiet little world and, oddly enough, I don’t seem to crave the company of friends as much as one might think.

However, there's something I crave far more than friendship – and that's affection. I don't harbor any ill will towards people. I’m certainly not a misanthrope. Yet, there’s a longing in me to experience simple human affection, like holding hands with a girl, or perhaps even sharing a gentle kiss. These are the modest desires I pine for, the chance to build an intimate connection from such tender beginnings.

Despite painting myself as somewhat righteous in these matters, I worry that my lack of a social circle might turn off potential romantic interests. Maybe it won't be an outright rejection, but there could be a hint of suspicion, a wariness that might eventually push her away. The thought lingers that this might lead to me spending my final years alone, without ever having known intimacy.

How would this scenario play out if I were thrown into the dramatic world of a reality show? Cameras recording every moment of my solitude, the audience witnessing my awkward attempts at human connection—could the added pressure provoke sympathy or ridicule? Would they see my loneliness as a peculiar quirk or a relatable struggle?

If the public were to step into my shoes through the lens of reality TV, I wonder if it could change their perception. Maybe they would cheer for my small victories or feel the sting of my setbacks. Either scenario is daunting yet strangely alluring.