Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

I have recently cut off my cousin due to some reasons. We were really close and it hurt to do that but i had to. My best friend knew her too. So lately my best friend and i have been drifting apart and idek why. She hangs out with my cousin but we have not been able to even have one conversation alone without it being awkward. I understand maybe she wants feels bad and wants to be there for my cousin but shouldn’t she be here for me too?. I feel like she is choosing her over me . Idk what i am feeling and my heart feels so heavy and i miss both of them so much.

Sorry if some words sound a bit off. English is not my native language and I’m using a translator, but I really need advice on what I should do in this situation.

I met a guy last month at a very crowded nightclub, in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in my city. I’m aware of my own reality and background, but he was the one who showed interest first. He approached me and invited me to join him, but I was with some friends at the time. Later, at the end of the night, he came back to talk to me and we kissed. We exchanged Instagram, and the next day he messaged me.

We kept talking and getting to know each other’s routines, and after almost three weeks of talking, he asked me out and I agreed. It was honestly one of the best dates I’ve ever had. He was very kind and affectionate with me. We exchanged affection, kisses, and intimacy, and I felt a real connection. It was a very good and intimate moment. At no point did he make me feel less than him or comment on my financial situation or anything related to that — and I was aware of where I was getting myself into.

When I got home, I sent a couple of messages saying I was fine. The next day, he sent me just one message at 7 a.m. saying he had gone for a run. I replied normally, but after that, he never responded again.

Now I’m questioning everything. I don’t know if I did something wrong during the date or if he was just pretending to be interested this whole time. I don’t know if I should keep waiting for something from him or if I should just move on with my life. I didn’t send any more messages because I didn’t want to pressure him, but it has been four days since the date and he hasn’t reached out at all.

P.S:

I only mentioned his financial situation because it is very far from my own reality, and, honestly, it made me feel a bit insecure. I know these kinds of connections usually feel like something that only happens in movies, but this time I just wanted to give it a chance.

I truly don’t care about money. I came from very humble beginnings, and the only thing I look for in someone is loyalty and companionship. I don’t know what his thoughts are, but I believe I made it clear to him that I don’t have the same financial conditions as he does. I don’t want to believe that someone would choose or reject another person based solely on financial status.

Should I insist or just let him go? Did I do something wrong ?

lately, i find myself caught off guard by my reactions to even the smallest events. it's strange how watching a sentimental TikTok or hearing a slightly critical comment from a friend sends my emotions spiraling. some days i feel utterly indifferent to everything, while on others, i’m ridiculously sensitive, crying over trivialities that i wouldn’t usually bat an eyelash at. maybe it’s hormones, or perhaps this is simply what being a teenager entails. still, the inconsistency of my emotional state makes me question whether something more profound might be at play here. do other people my age feel this overwhelmed by basic, everyday situations, or am i just overly dramatic?

it's weird how sometimes emotions just hit differently, right? like yesterday, i was joking around with my bestie when she casually said something about how i take things too seriously. she wasn't even mean about it, just teasing me like usual. yet somehow, that casual remark lingered with me the entire day, making me feel unexpectedly inadequate and overly self-conscious. logically, i understand it was harmless banter, nothing worth dwelling upon, yet emotionally, it felt disproportionately impactful. later, scrolling through my socials, i came across a meme about being overly emotional, and instead of laughing it off, i genuinely related and felt comforted knowing others might feel similarly conflicted. it’s bizarre, isn’t it, how quickly emotions fluctuate from laughter to near tears, leaving you wondering if your reactions are typical teenage turbulence or indicative of deeper insecurities you haven't addressed?

sometimes i try stepping back, analyzing my emotional patterns objectively, hoping to uncover why i'm experiencing these drastic emotional shifts. perhaps i should consider external factors—lack of sleep, academic pressure, or social dynamics—as they undoubtedly influence mental equilibrium. additionally, adolescence inherently entails emotional instability, thus explaining why minor stressors trigger exaggerated reactions. despite acknowledging this logically, the sensation remains intensely personal and often isolating. so, here i am, articulating these thoughts to strangers online, hoping someone else might resonate and reassure me that feeling emotionally overwhelmed occasionally doesn't signify weakness or abnormality; rather, it merely highlights our shared human fragility. do any of you experience this emotional rollercoaster, and if so, how do you typically navigate these confusing, unpredictable feelings?

My life is not going well. I feel like I'm fat but I can't tell others because otherwise others will think I just want attention. Then my best friend (s) likes the same guy as me and everyone says that "S and T are perfect together, they should be girlfriend and boyfriend" and I just have to be there and agree with everyone else. It's hard when I hate S but at the same time I want to be his bff. I scolded myself a few days ago because my siblings keep suggesting that I'm fat, especially my older brother (E). The worst thing is that I'm being shipped with my crush's best friend (K). I feel like I'm just a side character in S's life. If I told others that I had a crush on T, others wouldn't take it well. 5.12.2024. I've tried to show my friends that I'm not feeling well. My real best friend (p) had seen my wounds on my arm but hadn't realized anything. We were talking about how some people cut themselves yesterday at dinner and I said "you shouldn't cut yourself, it feels painful." But I guess it never occurred to anyone at that table to think how I would know what it feels like. I'm happy it's Christmas. Now I can wear long shirts all the time to hide my wounds. I don't WANT to be s's best friend but if I wasn't his friend I would lose p because p wants to be both of our bffs

Too exhausted and drained of energy from a relationship filled with deep affection and forbidden love. It often feels like all the effort in this relationship is one-sided. I always give, but never receive anything in return. The love bombing phase has ended. There was a time when I felt genuinely loved and cared for wholeheartedly. We both already have partners and children. We only meet in person at work, in the office. The relationship began when we started sharing stories about our lives, which eventually developed into something more intimate. The love bombing phase was the most beautiful period—it felt like being young again, like a first love. The relationship was full of excitement, with a constant desire to meet and be together. Every effort was made just to stay close, no matter what. It felt like I couldn’t live without them.

But lately, what I feared has started to happen. Their true nature is beginning to show. They lie often and look for reasons to start fights—just so they can spend time with others, which they never used to do before. They’ve also been interacting frequently with their ex, claiming it’s purely professional. However, they were once caught alone together in a car in a parking lot. I don’t know what they were doing—they claimed they were just going to grab a meal together. They’re increasingly working together on the same projects. They seem very enthusiastic when talking about this ex, who holds a high position in the company. They seem to admire them a lot. But they always get extremely angry when I bring it up, which only makes me more suspicious.

The more I express my doubts, the more they lash out—yelling and twisting the facts. They bring up my past mistakes but refuse to acknowledge their own. I love them deeply, so I’ve often ignored their faults and let things slide. But over time, it’s become too frequent and too much to handle. It's started affecting my mental health, making me lose motivation in both work and daily life.

What’s most disturbing is that they don’t let me interact with others. They don’t allow me to go out with friends, yet they often socialize with other men. I don’t know what to do anymore. Right now, I’m in a very sad place and don’t feel like doing anything at all.

Maybe I'm too "woke" or something but I can't bring myself to be mad at a woman. At all.

Throughout all my current years and childhood moving up into adulthood, I feel like i can't exactly be mad at a woman no matter what it is she does. Women gave gone through decades of suffering and being silenced, and they still are in a world where we're supposed to be helping them — aiding them.

I don't feel comfortable hating or kinkshaming a woman, but it's strange because I feel more than comfortable to kinkshame a man. Does this make sense to any of you? I'd defend women with my life as a man, but I wouldn't really care about men unless they're close to me.

In the same vein I feel horrible when I see a sad woman, but not so much for a man despite being a male myself. To me, their decades of suffering makes me feel like women do not deserve to suffer any longer just for being a woman — and that is true to me — men have been at the "top" for a while, so I suppose I switched things up and my brain isn't very lenient to them?

It's a strange train of thought that I'm not sure has any origin, is it a good thing? A bad thing?

My apologies I just needed to get some of it out.

I'm now 24 years young😄(2025). And I'm utterly clueless when it comes to dating🫠!

I can't tell if someone is flirting with me or if they're just being nice😅? Many people flirt in different ways too🤔. Apparently, I feel most comfortable with the jokester kinda flirts, but I don't comprehend that the person was flirting with me until I'm already out the door🤦🏻‍♀️! Then my friendos tell me that that male human was interested🙃.

Does the eye flutter actually work😌🙂😌🙂😌!? Or is that just stuff they do in movies🎬? I don't even know how to smirk and smirking can either seem serial k*l|-er-ish... Or somewhat charming... But I can't tell the difference😱!?

I need some advice from literally anyone with any dating experience... How would you maybe flirt? Or how would you know someone is flirting🙇🏻‍♀️✨!?

I usually can tell if someone either tells me upfront... Or they're super-super-super persistent... Then it's hard for the flirting to go over my head🤪.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel so much anger. Am I really doomed to stay in the groups I’m in? I mean, if I end up in a group I’m already part of—say, a family group—am I condemned to be stuck with them forever? Is there really nothing I can do to break away? Do I just have to get used to it out of inertia? This worries me deeply.

I admit it’s hard for me to write because I come from a social network that censored truly beautiful texts I wrote to let off steam—something I found incredibly unfair. It made me feel completely lost when it comes to using that platform. My intention was to express myself and structure my thoughts—focusing on that structure—without really considering others’ views. The point wasn’t to stay trapped within those external conceptions, but to develop something from what I was expressing. I just wanted to say this in case anyone wanted to offer their perspective.

Anyway, ever since that experience on that social network, I’ve felt trapped. Venting is what helped me break away from my family, to carve out a safer space both within and outside that context. That’s why I say I express and transcend. Venting gives me a holistic view of things without having to exclude any terrain. But I realized something: I think I’m normalizing things about my family. I feel like I’m using my venting to smooth over rough patches caused by behaviors that made me angry. It’s like I’m helping to re-establish those relationships in a “normal” space—a space I try to maintain without digging too deep. I feel like that has consequences, but I don’t quite see what they are yet.

It’s hard to structure my ideas in this environment—it’s different from what I’m used to, just like that other platform was. The fear of censorship is still there. Those posts were removed for no reason, or at least I never got an explanation. I followed the same rules as other posts I saw there. I’m furious about it. In fact, it makes me feel like the outside world somehow wants to push me back into my family setting. And whether it’s about family or not, people always say you have to break away on your own terms, not because someone tells you to. Otherwise, it could turn into a tragedy—it’s such a heavy burden. There’s this girl—I'll admit—who told me she feels trapped in a group and doesn’t know how to get out. In her case, the group is actively trying to make her leave her family, creating a barrier due to past circumstances that now prevents her from reconnecting. That happened a long time ago, and I’ve kept it inside ever since. I just wanted to express it.

I don’t want to meddle in that girl’s life. I feel like I’ve already left my family space behind—I did so a long time ago. And my experience with her only helped confirm it, especially after going through some very intense interactions with my closest relatives. The closeness we had only pushed me to create more distance, and that made our superficial routines of togetherness even more unbearable. So when the time comes for me to leave, it won’t be entirely bitter—there will be something sweet in it too. This is especially relevant if I ever get sick and we have to interact again. I know that kind of interaction will be unpleasant for me, because it creates tension and unwanted closeness with my relatives—those who used to take care of me. So in a way, if I do fall ill, it would trigger a change in their routine. And I think they would, maybe subconsciously, begin to appreciate the idea of me moving on to a place where they can’t or don’t have to interfere. That would open the door to my independence at last.

I feel sorry for this girl. Still, I think I’m ready to defend the principles of helping her—offering her a fishing rod rather than a fish, so she can catch her own. At the time I met her, I think she was open to it because her need was great, though I believe that need was buried deep due to how embedded she was in her group. I had stopped reacting impulsively and disrespectfully, breaking her routines without warning—these were the patterns she used to destabilize people, myself included. Her group absorbed her completely, and she shaped her environment around that. In short, maybe I can support her.

I just needed to say all of this. I don’t feel particularly skilled at writing. I posted eight times. Maybe the way I wrote had something to do with it—perhaps I wasn’t careful enough in how I structured things. But I can’t focus on that right now. I need to express myself freely if I want to sort out my thoughts. I need to release all this mental weight and reshape it through structured writing, so I can, as I said, transcend it—and that helps me find order in my mind. What hurts is that this was already my second attempt to engage with that platform. And once again, it highlighted how hard it is to express oneself freely—which, ironically, reminds me of how much I need to express myself freely. Otherwise, I’m just crawling through a dark tunnel, getting buried alive or hitting a wall I can’t break through.

I also like when a space doesn’t allow too much outside interference—it helps me feel like there are steady receivers out there, even if the way I express myself is different. I know that’s not realistic in the real world, where we talk face-to-face, not through digital platforms. But this goes back to what I said earlier—it’s so hard to break away from the past. If something from the outside knocks me down, I risk being dragged back into my family’s orbit. And I don’t want that. I have to be very careful about where and how I express myself—so I can see where the boundaries are and navigate through whatever life throws at me.

Apologies if this came out a bit disorganized. After all, this is a vent—a need to breathe, to unload what’s suffocating me and leave it somewhere, so I can move on to other thoughts. That’s how forgetting works, as good ol’ Freud would say.

(Convo I had with my bf this morning, we started off talking about Papa by Rosendale)

me: yeah so I can’t play that song for my dad bc of that one part, he’s gonna be like “oH tHIs Guy Is TRaNS???” nah man he’s just gay

him: heh… your boyfriend is trans!

(there were two kids behind who went to the same middle school as us and had just heard that)

me: (nervous) the fact that you just said that with those two behind us (laughs it off nervously)

him: OH SHI- oh well I don’t care what they think

me: yeah, well I do… (I turned and went down the nearest stairway, usually me and him go down the second stairs instead of the first and hang out under the stairs over there, but I went down the first and then just went to class as fast as possible)

like I know he doesn’t care what people think but I do and he probably knows that

this was actually so upsetting I immediately found my friend/platonic child Allen (not real name) and vented to him about it like-

ok I've never vented here before so I have no idea how this works

recently(aka for the last 2 months) I've been feeling extremely just...unwell. both mentally and physically. think that one scene from tpot 17 where two's lying on their bed with trash all around them and they haven't moved in months. that's how I'm feeling right now. I've become more chronically sick, and when I go without my medication I have a constant feeling of the verge of passing out. this has gotten in the way of so many of my relationships and at this point I don't know what to do anymore.

i cant even think straight because I’ve been crying for hours and I think I should just be gone from this world. Something crazy is going on with me and my friends and i cant even focus on anything but that, and I was supposed to go to a sleepover with my friends last minute because i need someone to talk to but when i went to ask my mom and my dad they both agreed that it was a bad decision to let me talk to my friends. I said I had no one to talk to and my mom literally said that i could talk to but she’s literally like 50 years old so how could she understand? i could never talk to her because she’s my mom and all the people i know that have tried to off themselves have gone to a mental asylum and came back so different i was scared. I cant talk to my friends anymore also because my downtime is on and i cant communicate with anyone except for my parents and im so completely exhausted with myself and im so utterly alone that i just think im done. I’ve never cried more than right now and i cant even see straight thats how blurry my vision is right now help me i have no one to talk to

Okay, so I really don’t know what to do right now. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for like, almost a year, and it’s been good, i guess? But lately, I keep asking myself this one question over and over: Should I break up with my boyfriend? And the fact that I’m even asking that makes me feel terrible because it’s not like he’s done something super wrong or anything. It’s just... ugh, I don’t even know how to explain it.

First of all, he’s not a bad guy or whatever. Like, he’s super sweet sometimes, and when we first started dating, he’d do all these cute things, like sending me good morning texts or surprising me with snacks during lunch. But now? It’s like he’s stopped trying. He doesn’t text me first anymore, barely even asks how I’m doing, and when we hang out, he’s always on his phone playing stupid games. It’s like I’m not even there half the time. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just says, “I’m busy” or “I didn’t know it was a big deal.” Like, hello?? I’m your girlfriend. Shouldn’t you care how i feel?

Then there’s the whole jealousy thing. He gets SO jealous over the dumbest stuff. Like last week, I was just talking to one of my guy friends at school—literally just talking—and later, he was all moody and weird about it. He kept saying stuff like, “Why were you laughing so much with him?” and “You don’t act like that around me anymore.” Like, excuse me? I can have friends! It’s so exhausting trying to constantly reassure him that I’m not cheating or whatever.

But at the same time, I feel bad even thinking about breaking up because I know he cares about me. Like, he’s the type of guy who would defend me if someone was being mean or walk me home if it’s late. And there are moments where I still feel like he loves me, you know? Like, the other day, he randomly brought me coffee because I had a bad day at school. Stuff like that makes me think maybe I’m just overthinking all this and being too harsh on him. But then, the next day, he’ll do something that makes me so frustrated, and I’m right back to wondering if I should break up with him.

It doesn’t help that everyone around me seems to have an opinion. My best friend keeps telling me I deserve better and that if he’s making me feel like this, then I should just end it. But then some of my other friends are like, “Relationships have ups and downs, and you just have to work through them.” So which one is it? Am I supposed to just stick it out and hope it gets better, or is this a sign that it’s time to let go?

Oh, and my parents don’t even like him. They think he’s “too immature” and that I could be focusing on school instead of dealing with boyfriend drama. And honestly? Sometimes I think they might be right. I feel like I spend more time stressing about this relationship than actually enjoying it. But does that mean I should break up with him? Or does every couple go through stuff like this?

The thing is, I do care about him. I really do. But I also feel like I’m losing myself a little bit in this relationship. Like, I used to hang out with my friends all the time and do fun stuff after school, but now it’s like everything revolves around him. If he’s in a bad mood, it ruins my whole day. If he’s happy, I feel like I can finally relax. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if I’m just stuck in something unhealthy.

Ugh, I feel like I’m rambling, but I seriously don’t know what to do. Part of me is scared to break up with him because what if I regret it? What if I realize I made a huge mistake, and by then, it’s too late? But then the other part of me is like, what if staying with him means I keep feeling this way? I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I wasted all this time on someone who doesn’t make me happy.

If you’ve ever felt like this, please tell me what you did. Did you break up, or did you try to work things out? How do you even know if it’s time to end things? Right now, I just feel so confused and stuck. I mean, I like him, but do I like him enough to keep dealing with all this? And if I’m already asking myself, “Should I break up with my boyfriend?” does that mean deep down I already know the answer?

I don't get why u need to test people in relationships/ potential if they " cheated" there mere fact the relationship did not even started yet all the "tests" proves that you don't have trust to your potential mate. Lol .

I'm concerned for myself. I've been waking up lately attempting to end my life. I've also found different scars and bruises on my body that I didn't have before. I've tried telling people and they just dismiss me. I then started to hear whispering and voices telling me i'm not good enough at midnight. My depression was doing well, but it's getting bad again. I can't stop crying and having panic attacks. My mind is playing tricks on me and no one believes me. My parent doesn't respect anything I say or what's going on.

ive always been different. even when i was little i noticed it. i had meltdowns at school and sometimes i would run out of the classroom. everything got too loud and too confusing. kids stayed away from me. some were scared. i got bullied a lot. it made me think something was wrong with me.

i wanted friends. i wanted to be like everyone else. but i didnt know how. it felt like i missed out on learning something everyone else just knew. my parents tried to help. they got me on meds and into therapy. it didnt fix how alone i felt. it just made me feel guilty for being a problem.

growing up i barely had any friends. most of the time i was by myself. even in high school, when it seemed like everyone had groups and plans and people to count on, i had maybe two or three people i could really trust. and even then i was scared. i felt like if they ever knew the real me, they might leave too. and if they did, i would have no one.

im bi but i dont tell people. its not because im ashamed. its because im terrified of losing the little bit of connection i have. i know if i tell the wrong person, i could lose the only friends i trust. and if that happens, thats it. im alone again. completely. and i dont know if i can handle that. id rather hide it and keep something than be honest and lose everything.

the only thing that worked for me was baseball. when i played, i wasnt different. i was just part of a team. ive played since i was a kid. no vacations, no parties, no normal stuff. just baseball.

for a while that was enough.

now i know im probably not going to make it. im not getting drafted. im not going to play pro. and i dont know what to do without it. it was never just a game to me. it was my whole life.

now im studying accounting. im good at numbers, maybe because of my autism. people say its a smart choice. they say it will get me a good job. but i dont like it. its just surviving. working and paying bills and doing it all again the next day. i hate it. i hate that dreams dont matter unless they make money.

i thought about coaching but it doesnt pay enough. so i have to give that up too.

i feel stuck most days. like i missed too much already and now im building a life that wont make me happy. people told me i was going to do great things. and now if im not the best at something, i feel like im nothing.

i dont talk about this much. i dont want to make it anyone elses problem. i dont want to just survive. i want to actually live.