Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Hello. I lost my pet pig almost a year ago and am still dealing with feelings of regret and guilt, as well as loss. He was the closest thing I could call a child and a big part of my life for three years.

He was sickly a few times before he died, with loss of appetite and energy. I took him to both a clinic and got a vet to look at him, but didn’t get a lot of answers and was just told to try to feed him. So I did, and most of the times he got better, but then got sick again.

Then he one day after getting a lot better (I thought) got REALLY sick and I panicked since I was sure he was dying. I still lived with my parents then, but they weren’t as panicked as me and said they would help me take him to a clinic in the morning. The vet on call (night shift) also said we probably could wait till the morning. It was Sunday night and I was thinking more about the money than I now wish I did. He died after a few hours of me trying to keep him warm.

I am now learning after researching what I think was his cause of death, that I could have saved him if I gave him early treatment. And pretty easily at that. That has been haunting me since he died, and I can not stop feeling like a horrible human being, and selfish person that cared more about the money than take him to a clinic again after a unhelpful experience.

I felt like I was dying the first week and literally could not sleep because I was crying so much and saw him every time I closed my eyes. I still cry when I see his photos, and more than anything feel like it’s my fault that he died, and that he would have had it better if someone else was his owner.

I’m mostly here to vent, since I don’t really feel like I have anyone to talk about this with. It’s my first time using this site, so I don’t know if this is the correct way to post. If anyone has some tips for getting over mostly the guilt, I would appreciate it. Thank you for reading.

It was a sunny day when I first found myself under the water, feeling the panic rise in my chest like a tidal wave. Just a regular swim day, you know? But then I slipped. The water enveloped me, and for a brief moment, everything turned dark. I thought I was going to die, honestly! My thoughts just raced—what does it feel like to drown? Is it like suffocating? Or is it calm, like falling asleep? I could feel my lungs screaming for air, yet all I could do was flail and hope for someone to pull me up. Every desperate grasp for air felt hopeless, and I realized in that instant how fragile life truly is. You never think it'll happen to you until it does... right? 😨

But wait! Not all was lost, as if by some miracle, I felt a strong arm wrap around me and pulled me to the surface. It was the most incredible feeling, breaking through the surface and gasping for air! The pure relief was overwhelming. I choked, sputtered, and took in the bright sunshine that I had been missing. Suddenly, every struggle I faced under the surface felt worth it, somehow. It’s like I got a second chance, you know?! I learned to appreciate each breath as if it were my last! The water that had once terrified me now felt like a strange friend that taught me a lesson about resilience. Isn’t it funny how life throws stuff at you that you never expect? 🌊

Looking back, drowning wasn't just about feeling fragile; it was also about emerging stronger. I mean, now I look at water differently. I respect it, yes, but I also embrace it. I’ve taken swimming lessons since then, and I’m no longer afraid. Instead of seeing it as a threat, I’ve learned how to navigate through the waves! Each splash reminds me of my near-drowning experience, but it also fuels my desire to conquer my fears. So, isn’t it something? To feel new life after a near-death experience? 🌈 Do you think we can emerge stronger after facing our fears, or does it leave us more cautious? I hope everyone out there can find their path to recovery like I did! Keep swimming, because life’s currents may be rough, but we are stronger than we think!!! 💪

I'm travelling tomorrow for a while and I wanna know what's a good advice to enjoy the experience to the fullest. I don't like too much the concept of being a "tourist" so I'm looking for new and meaningful experiences for my life

so this is a follow-up of my last post

I accidentally told the guy I like that I like him while his partner which i didn't know was his partner or that he had one was on the phone to him. his partner felt insecure and asked him to reject me which I completely understand as I did tell this guy I liked him while his partner was the phone. I said it was all okay while trying to cry. I then get a message from him apologising for the way things went down but I get why he did what he did. his partner then asked him to unadd me on snap which he said he didn't want to do but I told him it was his choice and I would understand either way so he did unadd me but he screenshotted my username b4 he unadded me so idk what that means. did I do the right thing by being so chill about it and why am I upset about it. have u ruined our friendship with this confession

I've been down for a bit but who are you even supposed to talk to about this, don't wanna be sent to a mental hospital. I'm not really sad, just dull about everything so planning my suicide doesn't feel like this sad thing anymore. I now know a way to kill myself. I had a good sleep, first time in a while. I wish I wasn't mentally ill tho. I've accepted that I've been feeling dull at least. I don't really care if I die, I wish I could. I don't know how people look at this long and terrible life and wanna live and do things, I don't wanna do anything. I don't even feel anything for my accomplishments, my diploma is just on the floor and something about college. My parents don't make this easier, they're bad people. I'd most likely still be depressed even if I move away or complete whatever goal. I've been learning a new language and still workout/dance, weighing 116 so at least I've been slowly completing appearance goals. Guess that's it for now.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day.

as of lately ive wanted to just have something horrible happen to me for some sort of validation. im kinda in the middle ground between normal and weird-- i feel too negative to have a normal mindset but im not negative enough to be worried about. i can easily ignore whatever issues i have if i distract myself. do i sound attention seeking if i wish for bad situations to occur to me daily?

I've recently been asking myself why -the f*ck- am I so unmotivated? and, quite frankly, it's starting to bug me. I mean, I’m 32, and I feel like I should have it all figured out, yet here I am, stuck in this seemingly endless rut. one thing that always hits me is work. Like, seriously, what’s going on with work nowadays?! Year after year, I've watched as impossible deadlines have consumed my time and energy. It seems that the intensity only increases as I get older. Deadlines??? More like "dead-end lines" if you ask me. The pressure to perform and deliver feels crushing, and to top it all off, there’s this whole AI assistance thing now… It’s like I’ve forgotten how to do my job, and AI is just there to slap me in the face and remind me how inadequate I can feel.

Then there’s the future!!! It’s so uncertain. With AI doing everything these days, where do people like me fit in the grand scheme of things? 🤖 It's hard not to feel overshadowed. I remember when I started working - there was genuine excitement and purpose. But now? All I see are stacks of emails, projects that never seem to truly end, and an endless stream of tasks that just never fail to drain any ounce of enthusiasm I have left. How did we reach a point where human contribution feels diluted? Recently, I read a quote somewhere: "Technology is best when it brings people together." Well, sometimes it feels like technology is best when it sidelines people. 😟

When did AI become the new face of productivity and efficiency? I can’t deny its usefulness, sure, I mean, I’ve saved hours thanks to AI, but I can’t help but to remember a time when people were valued for their skills, not the speed at which they can get things done. I’m not saying I’m against progress, but there’s this nagging feeling that I’m just not cut out for the kind of change that’s happening. Am I wrong to feel this way??? I wonder if anyone else out there feels this looming sense of uncertainty about the future at work…

Sometimes, I think back to when things were simpler. A box of office supplies, a friendly chat with colleagues at the water cooler, and those celebratory Friday afternoons when everyone was excited for the weekend. There was a real sense of camaraderie back then. Nowadays? Everything’s just distant and digital. Is social interaction a thing of the past? 🫰 Maybe it's just one of those slumps that people go through in their lives, I don’t know. But all of this has made me really question not just the future of my career but what fulfillment means to me personally. After all, isn’t it possible that we’re supposed to navigate these transitions and uncertainties with grace and adaptability??? Or maybe, it’s truly time for a career change or a soul-searching sabbatical.

In my office, there was this recent case where a colleague of mine, Jessica, got married. Surprisingly, every team member (10 people excluding Jessica herself) got an invitation except for me. Jessica had personally informed me earlier that the wedding would be a small affair due to budget constraints. However, she told the rest of my colleagues that I was unavailable to attend. The truth came out during a team meeting after Jessica returned from her honeymoon. The wedding was a hot topic among my colleagues, and one of them mentioned how unfortunate it was that I couldn't make it. I couldn't help but correct him by saying that I was never invited in the first place. I noticed Jessica’s expression changing as I spoke, and since then, things between us have been rather formal.

Moreover, our department organized a dinner to celebrate Jessica's marriage, to which I contributed a gift. The date for this dinner was shifted a couple of times to accommodate everyone else's schedule, but when I mentioned my pre-planned overseas trip, no consideration was given to possibly rescheduling. It seems like another colleague, who happens to be Jessica’s close friend and the planner of the dinner, might be deliberately leaving me out, though I can't figure out why.

Was I wrong to clarify my non-invitation during the meeting, especially since everyone was under the impression I simply couldn't attend?

Imagine if this scenario played out on a reality TV show. The tension and misunderstanding in the room would be palpable, potentially making for some dramatic scenes. Viewers would likely be split, with some sympathizing with my position and others maybe feeling I could have handled it differently to avoid public confrontation. Reality show producers might even zoom in on Jessica’s changing expressions for added effect, and there could be confessionals where we both explain our sides of the story.

What should've been my approach at the meeting?

I finally passes out highschool and there's like a common exam in my country where over 10k people give exams every year for college entrance. People get to study at respective colleges in respective fields acc to the rank they obtain and I just made so many stupid mistakes on my exam and I just feel so hopeless. I've really wanted to get into my dream college and over the months I know there were so many times I slacked off but at the same time I studied, I made efforts. I'd take 3-4 hour classes in the morning, try to study at home and take 4 hour online class at night. Though I didn't pay attention alot in online class and some physical classes and didn't study some days, there were days I made effort, paid attention to class and my results will be here tomorrow and I just feel so shit. I became so demotivated during my last moment and got distracted and ended up studying nothing even though I've always wanted to make efforts..... I just hate it I hate it so much, I feel like I'm the only one who did my exam shit. I feel so shit and I really want to give up. This means alot to me really, people just take this as a light joke but to me it means so much so much to the point I feel like running away and giving up. What about my efforts that I made, why does it have to go to waste. Why is life so unfair, I just want to be happy, it just sucks so bad right now.... I really feel like giving up........

Hey! It's Caralia. My dad, let's call him Diego. So, my little brother and I have a 3 year age gap. Keep that noted. So as the eldest sister, for 3 years, I had all the attention. My mom was always studying for nursing school, and dad had the shitty job-good pay. Then, my little brother, Dominic was born. All the attention shifted to the newborn. Diego was already stressed with bipolar, work, and a newborn, plus a jealous 3-year-old. My dad would often lash out at me, and leave all parts of my brother out. Time skip to when I'm nine. My dad emotionally made me insecure and belittled constantly, but I searched comfort from friends. My mother was usually at work for 5 hours a week nightshift nursing. I tried to get good grades, I achieved it. But my dad didn't care. Just told me to fuck off. My brother was 6 at the time, and I despised him. When I was 10, I developed a healthy relationship with my brother. Dominic is like my best friend despite all the old jealously that doesn't linger. My dad started a different, more effective medication for bipolar. For the past few years, he's been much better of a dad, but I still have emotional breakage because of him. I have diagnosed major anxiety and minor depression. I also take LexaPro and Hydroxozine. My dad tries to be better, but everytime he tries to have a conversation deeper than, 'What's your favorite color' I immediately like shut down.

bye I'm leaving for the sake of my old friends

bye

i dont even kno why i keep tryin. like, at this point, i should just accept it—im a failure. 27 years old, nothin to show for it. no degree, no career, no apartment, no gf, not even a decent group of friends. i look around and see people my age getting married, buying houses, moving forward. and me? im back in my childhood bedroom, surrounded by old posters and dust, feelin like im 15 again, except now theres no excuses. back then, people said "you have time, you'll figure it out" but now, now they just avoid the subject. my parents don’t even ask about my future anymore, they just look at me like i’m a lost cause. and honestly? maybe they’re right.

i tried, man. i really tried. i went to college, failed out. switched majors, failed again. tried a trade school, couldn’t keep up. then i thought maybe i could do somthin with my hands, construction, mechanics, whatever, but i sucked at that too. everyone always says "just find your passion" but what if i dont have one?? what if im just bad at everything? no matter what i start, it falls apart. and it’s not just school, it’s life in general. i never had a real girlfriend, never had that "group of bros" everyone talks about. people just drift away, like im forgettable, like im not worth stayin friends with. nd after a while, i stopped tryin to make new ones bc whats the point?? every time i meet people, they’re just temporary. no one stays.

and now im stuck here, in this house, in this town, with nothin to my name. i cant afford my own place, cant even hold a job for long before messin it up. i see my parents whisperin sometimes, like they don’t wanna say it out loud but i kno theyre thinking it—what the hell happened to our son? nd i dont even have an answer for them. im just stuck. trapped in my own uselessness. nd the worst part? i want to do better. i wanna be the guy who moves out, gets a job, gets a life. but every time i try, i fail. and at some point, it just breaks you, u kno? like, how many times can someone start over before they realize theres nothin left to start??

i wake up every day feeling like whats the point. not in a dramatic way, not like im gonna do somthin crazy, but just in a numb way. like, im just existin. breathing, eating, sleeping, repeat. no goals, no future, just surviving because my body still works. nd i kno people will say "just keep going" but goin where?? i got nowhere to go. nd every time i try, the universe slaps me back down like nah bro, this ain’t for you.

maybe some people are just not meant to make it. maybe not everyone has some "hidden potential" waiting to be unlocked. maybe some of us are just... failures. bc thats what i am. no dreams, no direction, just some loser takin up space in a house thats not even mine. nd i dont kno if thatll ever change.

i keep losing people and i know the common denominator is me. i can’t retain friends, can’t maintain the relationship lifecycle, can’t even pass the basic onboarding phase without screwing up the deliverables. i ghost when things get real. i overshare when it’s casual. i either underperform emotionally or i flood the pipeline with too much data. it’s inefficient and people churn out. that’s not me being dramatic, it’s just pattern recognition. the metrics are obvious. high initial engagement, sharp drop-off, zero retention. i suck at friendship. i don’t nurture it, don’t water it, don’t even check the soil. then i act surprised when it dies. i tell myself i prefer being alone, that independence is some kind of premium subscription, but it’s mostly ego and poor communication skills. i don’t like small talk, i don’t like constant texting, i don’t like pretending to care about things that feel trivial. but that’s part of the social contract, right? reciprocity, mutual validation, shared maintenance. i don’t comply, so the contract expires. people move on. they should. i’m not exactly a value add 😒. i get defensive fast. i interpret neutral feedback as a threat. i treat vulnerability like a security breach. then i wonder why nobody sticks around. it’s not malicious, it’s just how i’m wired. still, intent doesn’t negate impact. do you ever notice how you sabotage connections before they stabilize? or is that just me being fundamentally defective. i watch others build tight circles, group chats buzzing, weekend plans locked in, and i’m here with archived conversations and muted notifications. i can analyze it like a case study. attachment issues, poor conflict resolution, low tolerance for ambiguity. all textbook stuff. but knowing the theory doesn’t fix the execution. i fail the practical every time. and now i actually need someone. not for entertainment. not for optics. for support. real, boring, consistent support. and i have no one to call 🤷‍♂️.

i pushed everyone to the periphery because closeness felt like liability. proximity increases risk exposure. the closer someone gets, the more surface area there is for disappointment, for judgment, for abandonment. so i preemptively detach. i downgrade people from priority to optional. i delay replies. i cancel plans. i make sarcasm my primary interface. it’s not charming, it’s just rude. i know that. i see it happening in real time and still don’t interrupt the process. it’s like watching a system crash and refusing to patch it. then when i finally hit a low point, when stress spikes and the internal bandwidth collapses, i look around and there’s no redundancy, no backup server, no human failover. just me and my stupid pride. i need a friend right now and that feels pathetic to admit. not a crowd. not followers. one person. someone stable. someone who won’t interpret my silence as hostility but also won’t enable it. someone who calls me out without turning it into a performance review. is that too much to ask? or am i the unreasonable variable in every equation. i don’t blame the people who left. they optimized for their own wellbeing. that’s rational. i would’ve done the same in their position. but here’s the part that pisses me off: i actually care. i just don’t express it in a user friendly way. my empathy is clunky. my timing is off. my tone is sharp. i default to critique instead of comfort. and yeah, that makes me hard to keep around. i can admit that without self pity. this isn’t a sob story. it’s a status report. current state: isolated. root cause: poor relational management. desired outcome: one solid friend. i don’t need daily affirmation. i don’t need dramatic loyalty vows. i need consistency. shared silence. mutual respect. basic human presence. and i don’t know how to build that without eventually screwing it up again. maybe the real issue is that i treat friendship like a transaction instead of a process; maybe i expect immediate ROI instead of long term investment. either way, i’m here. blunt. aware. alone. so tell me, how do you keep people close without suffocating them or pushing them away. or do you just accept that some of us aren’t built for connection and move on.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel so much anger. Am I really doomed to stay in the groups I’m in? I mean, if I end up in a group I’m already part of—say, a family group—am I condemned to be stuck with them forever? Is there really nothing I can do to break away? Do I just have to get used to it out of inertia? This worries me deeply.

I admit it’s hard for me to write because I come from a social network that censored truly beautiful texts I wrote to let off steam—something I found incredibly unfair. It made me feel completely lost when it comes to using that platform. My intention was to express myself and structure my thoughts—focusing on that structure—without really considering others’ views. The point wasn’t to stay trapped within those external conceptions, but to develop something from what I was expressing. I just wanted to say this in case anyone wanted to offer their perspective.

Anyway, ever since that experience on that social network, I’ve felt trapped. Venting is what helped me break away from my family, to carve out a safer space both within and outside that context. That’s why I say I express and transcend. Venting gives me a holistic view of things without having to exclude any terrain. But I realized something: I think I’m normalizing things about my family. I feel like I’m using my venting to smooth over rough patches caused by behaviors that made me angry. It’s like I’m helping to re-establish those relationships in a “normal” space—a space I try to maintain without digging too deep. I feel like that has consequences, but I don’t quite see what they are yet.

It’s hard to structure my ideas in this environment—it’s different from what I’m used to, just like that other platform was. The fear of censorship is still there. Those posts were removed for no reason, or at least I never got an explanation. I followed the same rules as other posts I saw there. I’m furious about it. In fact, it makes me feel like the outside world somehow wants to push me back into my family setting. And whether it’s about family or not, people always say you have to break away on your own terms, not because someone tells you to. Otherwise, it could turn into a tragedy—it’s such a heavy burden. There’s this girl—I'll admit—who told me she feels trapped in a group and doesn’t know how to get out. In her case, the group is actively trying to make her leave her family, creating a barrier due to past circumstances that now prevents her from reconnecting. That happened a long time ago, and I’ve kept it inside ever since. I just wanted to express it.

I don’t want to meddle in that girl’s life. I feel like I’ve already left my family space behind—I did so a long time ago. And my experience with her only helped confirm it, especially after going through some very intense interactions with my closest relatives. The closeness we had only pushed me to create more distance, and that made our superficial routines of togetherness even more unbearable. So when the time comes for me to leave, it won’t be entirely bitter—there will be something sweet in it too. This is especially relevant if I ever get sick and we have to interact again. I know that kind of interaction will be unpleasant for me, because it creates tension and unwanted closeness with my relatives—those who used to take care of me. So in a way, if I do fall ill, it would trigger a change in their routine. And I think they would, maybe subconsciously, begin to appreciate the idea of me moving on to a place where they can’t or don’t have to interfere. That would open the door to my independence at last.

I feel sorry for this girl. Still, I think I’m ready to defend the principles of helping her—offering her a fishing rod rather than a fish, so she can catch her own. At the time I met her, I think she was open to it because her need was great, though I believe that need was buried deep due to how embedded she was in her group. I had stopped reacting impulsively and disrespectfully, breaking her routines without warning—these were the patterns she used to destabilize people, myself included. Her group absorbed her completely, and she shaped her environment around that. In short, maybe I can support her.

I just needed to say all of this. I don’t feel particularly skilled at writing. I posted eight times. Maybe the way I wrote had something to do with it—perhaps I wasn’t careful enough in how I structured things. But I can’t focus on that right now. I need to express myself freely if I want to sort out my thoughts. I need to release all this mental weight and reshape it through structured writing, so I can, as I said, transcend it—and that helps me find order in my mind. What hurts is that this was already my second attempt to engage with that platform. And once again, it highlighted how hard it is to express oneself freely—which, ironically, reminds me of how much I need to express myself freely. Otherwise, I’m just crawling through a dark tunnel, getting buried alive or hitting a wall I can’t break through.

I also like when a space doesn’t allow too much outside interference—it helps me feel like there are steady receivers out there, even if the way I express myself is different. I know that’s not realistic in the real world, where we talk face-to-face, not through digital platforms. But this goes back to what I said earlier—it’s so hard to break away from the past. If something from the outside knocks me down, I risk being dragged back into my family’s orbit. And I don’t want that. I have to be very careful about where and how I express myself—so I can see where the boundaries are and navigate through whatever life throws at me.

Apologies if this came out a bit disorganized. After all, this is a vent—a need to breathe, to unload what’s suffocating me and leave it somewhere, so I can move on to other thoughts. That’s how forgetting works, as good ol’ Freud would say.

Okay, moral dilemma here. I have two friends, Friend A and Friend B. Friend A came to me a while ago and confessed in confidence that they had feelings for Friend B, and told me not to tell anyone, especially Friend B, because they knew that it wouldn’t work out and that they were trying to save themself the heartbreak by trying to get over them. MEANWHILE, a few weeks after Friend A tells me they like Friend B and are trying to get over them, Friend B comes to me and confesses feelings for FRIEND A, also in confidence. However, Friend B also tells me, pretty distraughtly, that they have been trying to get Friend A’s attention, but have been turned down or ignored each time (remember, Friend A is trying to get over Friend B; they think the best way to do that is by avoiding them) and now Friend B thinks that Friend A hates them. I want to tell Friend B about Friend A’s feelings so that they know that Friend A actually doesn’t hate them, but that would go against Friend A’s wishes. I could also tell Friend A about Friend B’s feelings for them, but that could go badly because 1) it would go against Friend B’s wishes and 2) Friend A is actively avoiding and trying to get over their feelings for Friend B. WHAT DO I DO.