Random Life Stories and Unpredictable Moments

Sometimes I feel as though, out of all the difficult partners one could end up with, I somehow ended up with the most challenging one. While I do believe I love him, there are moments when I wonder if we’re truly a good match. I often hear friends in strong relationships say that despite any hardships, loving their partner has always felt natural and easy. For me, it hasn’t felt that way—it often feels complicated, and that leaves me questioning whether we’re truly compatible.

Part of the challenge seems to come from the way he processes things. He tends to take a very long time to think before committing, agreeing, or even engaging with something, which can make even simple issues feel unnecessarily drawn out or difficult. At times, it feels as though he deliberately complicates things—almost like he’s testing me to see how I’ll handle it—which feels exhausting and unfair.

There are also dynamics in how he communicates that I find troubling. For example, he often insists on sharing his opinion, almost as if not doing so would mean his voice has been silenced. Yet, if the roles are reversed—if he has spoken but I haven’t—that imbalance doesn’t seem to bother him. To me, this feels selfish and inconsiderate, though there was once when I asked why does he always need to share his opinion even if he knows it will hurt someone, he frames it as part of his cultural upbringing. Personally, I see it less as a cultural trait and more as a learned behavior, especially from his mother, who carries a similar need to always assert her perspective.

While his mother is undeniably intelligent and accomplished, she also often comes across as dismissive or overly certain of her own views. Unfortunately, I see that same habit reflected in him, and it can make our conversations feel one-sided and draining. At times, I wish he could simply listen and observe without feeling the constant need to interject or assert himself.

I've been having an honestly bad track record with friends. They've either been "nice people" who turned out to take advantage of my old anger and I hurt a boy because of it. Or I tried to be nice and have fun with them, but turns out they're not super interested, and I'm a fool for trying. I just suck.

I have new friends now, but I have a holiday along with them. It's a school holiday. They say they've been to different countries or they're busy. I know those are real causes during the holidays as to why they don't talk as much, but I have a what-if. What if...they don't like being around me? What if when they message "I don't feel like messaging", they actually mean they're tired of me and not their trip or work? I've had some people say they're "Fine with me" but then they hang out with others and act like I don't exist.

I have this lack of trust because when they message and speak, they're so kind and say they're not bothered with me, and I ask them if they're comfortable or I apologize. I end up apologizing more while they tell me I shouldn't feel that way and "it's okay". I have just talked about my interests to you and you understand and you seem like you get it, but what if it's not true? What if you really hate me for being too much and too little? Too much of a freakish weirdo and too little of a normal kid? I suck at this because I've had such less friends over several years.

I feel like backstabbing them, making them know I hate them because they probably lied to me about enjoying me, because if you hate me so much, why am I with you? Why aren't you kicking me away? Why aren't you telling me straight to my face "Go die you hag"? I'd rather you do that than live with the fact I don't know if you hate me or not. I've had a bad depression phase for a while, I don't wanna go there again. I don't wanna rationalize an undeserved pain onto me, try to say "This is what I was supposed to suffer" when I don't. I don't wanna go back to "I'm a god who sees truth and everybody is pigs for looking on the bright side of things".

I've been trying to be more optimistic, but it's hard. It feels like a big risk, not right after you feel like everything could go wrong because you're undeserving of outside friendships. I wanna be more open with others but with the holidays, it feels as if I'm not doing enough for the friendship or doing too less. I've considered nuking all contacts and telling them hateful stuff because I think they could hate me. I didn't because I felt bad about it, I felt like I would do big damage.

I know they could be busy and that's why they don't respond, but maybe they're busy also thinking why I'm so horrible. They're extra quiet online cus it's the holidays now, mom says they're probably busy, but I get so nervous. Like I said, I feel like backstabbing, but when they see me and be so kind, I feel bad for even holding that knife. They are so sweet. They treat me with respect and they don't find my disgusting personality weird. I find my personality disgusting sometimes. I sometimes feel as if I don't deserve love outside of my family. Like my mom, brother and dad would be my only connection to humans and nobody else. Nothing lasts anyways except family. Dad tells me to always remember "Family First". Is this what it's like to have friends? Do they hate me? Is this why they're not responding online?

I'm afraid that office doesn't know how to protect itself at all. I'm prepared to file a complaint against this girl, and if they respond aggressively, I can calmly state that they're marginalizing me and protecting her, that they're enabling this situation, and that the office has long been in need of intervention. I have absolutely nothing to lose, however, that's not my intention. What I do want is to be protected from any danger while I'm in that office, from that girl's behavior, in case there's any trouble, or from anyone else. Simply pretending that everyone else is different isn't enough to protect myself; I need to feel like I have the office under my control, that everything is in my hands. At least that way, people will leave me alone and allow me to do what I want. Ironically, this girl sacrificed herself, as well as the very authorities she so fiercely defended and loved, and everyone else—their jobs, their employment, everything. She unwittingly placed them all in my hands, all because of her closed-mindedness, her self-imposed nature, her insistence on always being the way she wanted, on having only the friends she wanted, and that's it. She defended others, embraced others, loved others, and because others couldn't handle it out of fear. They were all condemned by her. She took everyone for a ride, of course, all thanks to her absolute assumptions, her prejudices against me, her failure to know me, her refusal to go beyond her own rules, her belief that things are the way they are, without considering whether they are protected by law or not. In other words, she definitely doesn't keep up with the times. This is the risk of not preparing to be a citizen. The premises were under my absolute control, primarily because of my own boss, who now acts as a slave to my family to avoid problems, conflicts, and any legal issues, or to avoid tarnishing his image. The man dared to call my father and is now under the full force of his wrath, the height of his fury, all for wanting to push beyond his limits. My boss was a dangerous individual who managed to escape from everywhere and was resisting capture, and I turned him in, both to the authorities and to my family. In other words, the man dug his own grave in the office, without me being able to do anything more. The girl's blocking me is infuriating. Honestly, I feel completely marginalized, ostracized from the office, at risk of something happening that would prevent me from contacting her directly. This has really bothered me, because what happens in the group, what comes up publicly, is everyone's problem and ours alone. I don't feel taken into account at all; in fact, I feel totally excluded. Anything that happens involving her affects me, fills me with thoughts, and then I can't do anything but stay silent, hold back, simply disappear, at the mercy of this marginalization. Meanwhile, the authorities can do whatever they want, and behind my back, contact her however they please, and she allows it, leaving me out of the loop, thinking I'm the only one who hasn't been able to reach her.

Things really got to this point. There was a situation with a family member where he died, and precisely because of my silence, my lack of communication, I was left completely adrift. When she posted about it in the group, everyone else was able to do something, to talk about it, except me, without any justification. The authorities, however, were able to. What a terrible pain. It's hard to describe because I feel like I have to fight against the mental block it left me with. The impact is as if it wants to drastically stop me from writing, as if it won't allow me to write. The pain is so intense, the pressure is so overwhelming, it's just too much to write. When they announced his death, I didn't know if he had died or if he was already there. I was completely in a daze, not knowing what was happening, what was going to happen, what to do. I simply didn't write, and I was surprised that everyone else posted their condolences and all that. The girl couldn't give me the information; she was afraid of rejecting me. She didn't know what to do. She's someone who doesn't know what she's doing. However, under the guise of blocking her, she's getting into serious trouble, and I was just graduating from university, so I couldn't allow this. The person who was trying to manipulate her, even at the cost of making her give in, I tore her to shreds because that's definitely not the way to deal with her. Things didn't go according to the standards of support I had received, support that I felt was worthy of me, and that's why I got angry with her.

I feel like that girl is living the high life right now, despite being an aggressor against me, someone who marginalizes me, and I'm even allowing it. How can I be friends with someone who excludes me from her life, for God's sake? How can I be friends with someone I don't see as just another coworker? The thing is, I can't really consider her a coworker because that office doesn't behave like an office at all; it's more of a social hub. Rules are completely irrelevant there, which is why I didn't file a complaint. Even though there are contracts and everything, the spirit of the law is entirely nonexistent. There's nothing there that establishes a regulatory framework, and there are no authorities to enforce it. People there don't know the law, except to run away. Work is a joke, an escape from life. What matters there is socializing, not the company itself. The company is secondary; in fact, the company is used for socializing, not for actual work. My contract might say one thing, but reality is quite different. That's why I never acted according to the blockade; in fact, I made it the least important thing in the matter so that the girl wouldn't be ruined. In fact, that's why I told my boss to go to hell, so that whatever he did would radically undermine him, so that his much-loved reputation would be destroyed. I wasn't interested in the girl being reported in any way; I was interested in her getting ahead. After the roadblocks started, they began to take her seriously, and the issue of the social center was going to change radically; it was heading in that direction, it was going to be abused, of course, because the incentives weren't implemented on time, so that my boss could get away with it, destroy the life of that girl who wasn't aware of what she was doing, who was in the process of getting to know me—I'm glad to be able to write despite feeling that block, which is quite drastic; I've been writing constantly to get to the root of it, but it's not easy.

It had been many months of feeling blocked, enduring things. I couldn't allow my boss to take advantage of the law; it wasn't fair, especially since I had encouraged that young woman to fully embrace her spirit of socialization. They weren't going to get away with it. I couldn't allow her environment to condemn her. She had a right to a life, to get ahead, to progress, to feel part of society, and to not fulfill that sentence that she wasn't fit to be outside. How fortunate that young woman was, both in terms of the affection of that family and the affection of others. The young woman could improve, and she has, and it hasn't been easy. Besides, they were going to take advantage of her, not having provided the incentive in time, taking her by surprise, and I wasn't going to allow it, all because of those prejudices about women and all that. Definitely, I had to stop, pause, because what they were going to do to her was retaliation for her not conforming to the group; it was going to be an absolute crime.

im so embarassed to talk about girls to my friends because i dont want to come across as sappy or desperate, and i feel like i shouldnt need someone like that in my life, and i can just have close friends. but to be honest, ive never had that close of a friend before.

the girl that i was "talking" to (at least i viewed it that way) added me first, and she was super sweet when i first started talking to her. we had a few common interests and were doing all the classic texting stuff. however, i kept asking if she wanted to talk more in person because i only ever saw her during school. she kept avoiding the conversation and eventually i just said that i loved talking to her and spending time with her and that i liked her, and i asked for her number. she said that she just wanted to be friends and that i didnt do anything wrong and that im still a good person, and that shed rather just stay on snap bc its easier for her.

when we first started talking, i tried to be as authentic as possible and talked about the stresses and anxiety that i had in my life, bc honestly at the time she was one of the best friends i had ever had. i felt like i could count on her and could trust her more than i ever have even with my closest friend (i dont talk to him much anymore now that i moved far away). me and her even shared pretty personal stories about our family situations and struggles that we were having. after i told her that i liked her quite a bit, she seemed to become a bit more closed off, and i did in return. i dont really like her the same as i did before, but we still talk for a few minutes over snaps every day. however, now i feel like i have to walk on thin ice when im talking to her and have to avoid certain topics, and cant really talk about my problems like i feel like i used to be able to do with her, in fear that she'll think that i like her still. its not that i like her, its just that i miss having such a close friend and someone i could trust.

i forgot to mention, about two weeks into becoming quite close with her (or at least i thought so), i sprained my ankle and bruised my other foot pretty bad. im still hurting every day from it, meaning i cant train for football, which is the biggest and most important part of my life and my dream is to play pro. my feet are hurt so bad that i cant even walk for more than five minutes without them getting sore. rehab is so so slow, and being hurt for over two months now has made my mental health absolutely horrible. i feel so anxious all the time, and i cant escape it. im trapped in my house all day, sitting on my a** and not being able to train or play pickup with friends. my car also broke down at the same time i hurt my feet, and i havent been able to find a job for the past 4 months. i cant go anywhere, i cant do anything active, i cant even go on a walk to help clear my head. i live with my dad and stepmom, and their pretty emotionally absent. ive never been able to trust them enough to tell them about things like this, especially because it gets brought up and sometimes held over my head by them and my brother as well. i feel like my brain is trapped in a cage, ramming itself against the walls to try and get out, but only hurting itself more in the process. ive tried drawing, ive tried playing video games, etc., but nothing fills the void that soccer/football occupies in my life.

i feel horrible, not only for me, but for her as well. i feel like i lost a close friend that i could genuinely talk to, and i feel like i betrayed her trust as well by letting my emotions get the better of me and spilling them out to her all at once. i dont know if theres anything i can do to make this right, and i feel like our friendship is permanently damaged. i cant get her out of my brain, not even in a romantic way, just in a support way. im scared to apologize again bc i feel like shes already moved on from me and has replaced the time that i spent with her with someone else. she has told me a couple days ago that shes up until 2am sometimes on facetime, and it makes me so disappointed bc ive never been able to have that close of a relationship with someone, romantic or not, and it also makes me feel dispensable and like im not worth her time or effort.

ive tried watching videos and telling myself that itll all be okay, and that im worth enough. and truly, i do feel like im a good person to be around, and i check up on all of my friends, including her, very regularly. but i feel like no one has ever done that for me. i feel like im always the one trying to start conversations with other people. im always the one checking up on others. im the one asking about how theyre doing or whats going on in their lives. im always the one saying that im there for them if they ever need to rant. but i cant remember a single time that any of my friends have ever asked if i needed to rant, if i had something on my mind, if i had something i wanted to talk about. ive heard that everyone sorta feels this way, but i just dont think thats true. i feel like when i could talk to her, i finally had my person that i could lean on, but now i think ive lost it for good.

ive heard that trying to fill a void with someone is not a good way to start to any kind of friendship. and i can understand that. but right now i feel so lost and stressed out, like all of my problems are slowly seeping their way into the cage enclosing my brain, ready to drown it out. i cant take it anymore. i need someone that will listen. i need someone that can relate to me. please tell me what i can do to make this all go away, and to help me find true friends that vouch for me and will support me in times like these.

I hate it soo much!! I hate it here, I hate existing so badly because I'm anxious every single second, I feel as though everyone's eyes are on me, and every time I move, it feels like I'm a robot because I'm conscious of my every movement. I move and talk how people want me to, and it's so hard to be myself because I fear that I will be judged. My anxiety is so bad I can't even show my true colors to my friends. I know they're good people, but I'm just scared. So scared, you know? I know they won't judge for every little thing but even so, I'm terrified. My traumas won't let me be the person I wish to be; I'm always holding myself back because I'm just so anxious. I hate feeling like this because I'm wasting my whole life acting like someone I'm not.

At 26 years old, I find myself wandering through a labyrinth of ideologies that pit spirituality against organized religion; it’s as bewildering as trying to navigate a dense fog with no clear path ahead. A few weeks ago, I attended a church service that was supposed to be uplifting—the pastor eloquently spoke about love, grace, and the importance of community. I expected to feel enlightened, but instead, I dragged myself home feeling empty. I remember thinking, “Is this it? Is this what faith is supposed to feel like?” Similarly, on another day, I swayed to the rhythms of a local spiritual gathering that promised enlightenment through meditation and collective energy. People were chanting and holding hands, seeking connections beyond the physical. I wanted to feel that current of cosmic energy flowing through me, but instead, I was plagued by the nagging thought: “What if all of this is just a placebo effect?” It’s frustrating to oscillate between these two worlds—each with its proponents vigorously asserting their narratives while dismissing the other’s merit. A good friend once remarked, “Being religious means believing in something, whereas being spiritual means believing in everything,” which left me more puzzled than ever. Is it possible that these categories are merely constructs that serve to confine the vastness of human experience? Honestly, I don’t know; the ambiguity is suffocating. Just the other night, I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor, surrounded by a hodgepodge of religious texts and spiritual books, feeling like I was compiling a thesis on a subject I barely understood. I skimmed some passages—Buddha’s teachings on mindfulness contrasted starkly with the heavy doctrines of the Catholic faith; one promised inner peace, the other eternal salvation. It's like choosing between two different types of refuge, both equally enticing yet fundamentally distinct. One may claim, “Follow your personal truth,” but what if your truth is yet to be discovered or, worse, fabricated? ✨

Why is it so difficult to harmonize these beliefs? In the pursuit of clarity, I’ve engaged in endless debates with friends who identify as yogis or fundamentalists; they each argue fiercely for their path, yet here I am, stuck in a perpetual limbo. One afternoon, I found myself in a particularly disconcerting conversation with a devout Muslim woman who discussed the beauty of prayer and community while I could not help but admire her dedication yet felt a pang of longing for the fluidity of spirituality that evades rigid structures. Is a structured belief system inherently restrictive? Or does it provide guidance where spirituality assumes an almost abstract, chaotic essence? I frequently ponder if these traditions are mere vessels of cultural heritage, and how absurd is it that instead of embracing the richness of diverse practices, I find myself shackled in indecision? I often wonder if faith is merely an escapade into the unknown, shrouded in the allure of transcendence but ultimately leading us back to the same existential questions: What is our purpose? What happens when we die?

As I exercise my cognitive faculties to decode the meanings of ‘spirituality’ versus ‘religion,' I can’t shake off the dire feeling that I’m constructing a metaphysical house of cards that could collapse with just the slightest breeze of doubt. “Why do I have to choose when possibly it’s all just an intricate tapestry of beliefs?” I silently scream to the universe, hoping for an answer that never comes. I turn to books, podcasts, and online courses—each touting formulas for a fulfilling spiritual life or an unwavering faith—but do they actually coalesce? Or am I just grasping at straws, hoping for a divine revelation that appears to allude me? I grapple with the paradox that my quest for truth grows heavier with the weight of expectation and self-imposed timelines; I find myself frantically circling back to my fundamental question: Do I desire the grounded morals of religion, or the expansive possibilities of spirituality? Each evening, I lay awake, hoping that someday both worlds can harmonize, creating a holistic framework that resonates with my soul rather than trapping it; Feeling lost has never felt more suffocating. It begs the question: Is anyone else out there wrestling with this dissonance? Does anyone grapple with whether to leap into the arms of tradition or float in the vast ocean of spirituality?

I'm so tired of everyone acting like having no friends is no big deal. Let me tell you, it freaking sucks. It's not like I'm some kind of recluse who avoids people on purpose. I try to put myself out there but it's like there's some invisible barrier keeping me from making real connections. It's like everyone else got the memo on how to socialize and I'm just left winging it without a damn clue; I mean, how does anyone survive without a solid group of pals to hang with? People always say things like 'just join a club' or 'get out more.' But it's not that simple! I've tried joining groups, taking classes, even going to community events but half the time I end up feeling more isolated than before. And don't get me started on small talk at work, which feels like pulling teeth every damn time.

You know what's messed up? The way society constantly shoves this crap down our throats about being liked and having tons of friends on social media. Nobody talks about what it's like to manage when you're completely alone most of the time. Social gatherings feel like some twisted form of punishment instead of fun opportunities because I'm stuck comparing myself to people who seem to have effortless bonds with others. At this point, I'd probably cut someone if it meant having one genuine friend who isn't flaky or only around during their convenience.

So yeah, here's my rant for today: screw all those stupid motivational posts that say stuff like 'you are your own best friend!' or 'you don't need anybody else!' That's total BS when reality hits you in the face every night with no one asking how your day went or giving a damn about your existence. Maybe it's just me but having no friends is massively freaking lonely and exhausting 😒.

I betrayed my boss because he betrayed me. He looked after his own image, not mine. I was going to be relegated to the office of an outcast, someone no one could do anything about, and I couldn't allow that. The resulting repercussions were going to be overwhelming, given how much I was being sidelined, and that's what prompted me to take action. It all started when a girl blocked me, something she hadn't done with the rest of the group, effectively excluding me and making me feel completely excluded, as if I weren't part of her life, as if I were different from everyone else, and that infuriated me. I told my boss, but he did nothing about it, and I had to intervene because I knew she would be able to tell others about it and cause further repercussions. I told other authorities, but they did absolutely nothing; in fact, they tried to stay as far away as possible.

I was very worried about the social repercussions, especially the fact that the girl might take advantage of the situation to pull tricks in her pursuit of a modicum of equality. My boss and his secretary made it seem like I had to be the strong one, that I shouldn't let her get away with it, leaving me completely helpless to the point where they pressured me into seeing a psychiatrist, accusing me of being weak and therefore potentially facing social repercussions. The issue was clear: I had to take action and be there for her. She could do whatever she wanted, however she pleased, but no one was going to do anything. Well, having said that, I understand that something was being done, and it was to make her look bad, to the point of trying to get her fired as soon as the first incident occurred. However, that wasn't the real plan, because it all started when I began talking to her, of course, after she had already started talking to me in person. My relationship with her was virtual. I couldn't just leave her helpless, nor could I turn a blind eye, especially since the girl and I were discussing the possibility of forming a group. In this sense, my boss tried to impose his will, using orders as a defense for me in any situation and running away, trying to avoid saying anything, hoping that what happened between the girl and me wouldn't come to light after the conflict.

He tried every possible way to obstruct us, to make her look bad, crazy, even to instruct me in violence, also because after the conflict and under the resulting blockade, she would be at a complete disadvantage, especially since she doesn't like to back down from her decisions, and even more so when it involves something that might make others doubt her. However, I didn't allow it. I played the victim, to completely undermine him, to make him look out of place. The boss demanded a deal with her to avoid causing them more problems, when it was my problem. He made threats about toys, which I silenced with real threats. He wanted to prevent me from associating with her at all costs, because if I did, it would reveal a situation of rejection within his group. The doubt about whether it existed would be taken as certainty, something that went against my principles. He was acting like a hero at first, but of course, there had to be some benefit to it. Quite rightly, they told me I was exaggerating, and I was, but that was living in my own world, something they could never penetrate.

My boss was a complete scoundrel. When I achieved my goal, they tried everything to undermine my image, to suggest that I was taking advantage of the situation, that I was being narcissistic, for having denounced him, for having exposed his efforts to keep me the way he wanted me, and also for hurting the girl. However, this didn't go unpunished for him at all. First, there was the matter with the authorities, the complaint, and then there was another complaint, this time made public, more than justifying what I had told the authorities. They definitely made things worse for themselves.

There was a guy yesterday who caught my attention. He kept making comments that were trying to influence my way of doing things, to make me believe things, but in the end, he turned out to be like some kind of inner circle, with sacred secrets that he didn't want to be revealed. I wasn't going to be around someone like that. With every comment he made, I felt trapped, taking advantage of the friendly image we were projecting in public, and it was something I didn't like. I was playing along, always trying to distance myself, but he just kept getting more and more entrenched and wouldn't budge. More or less, that was my boss's way of doing things, at all costs. With me, of course, he operated based on his own principles. For example, we were talking about being out on the street, sharing intimate things. He was, and still is, an excellent person, but I just don't like to keep that kind of intimacy with others.

It resulted in a vague exchange of information, and it's not the kind of conversation I want to have, at least not occasionally. It was clear the guy had the best intentions and that his relationship wouldn't go any further. However, the problem is that in the long run, I was going to hold onto things that would cloud the relationship because I didn't agree with his methods; they're not my style. Surely, for someone else, it might be the same. And I understand him; being selective based on well-verified evidence is something one appreciates, and he was consistent throughout.

That wasn't the case with my boss, who acted based on nothing, on his own imagination, on his own world with me, trying to completely overstep the bounds of the context, the tone of the conversation, trying to go too far when there wasn't that friendly tone, when the context wasn't appropriate for them. He was completely out of place in the office; he was, and is, someone just trying to survive there. No matter how much the top boss talks about attending, about doing something about it, if she doesn't say so herself, I don't believe my boss at all. He uses anything and everything, emotional manipulation, to get things done; it's not prudent. This guy, well, he was reciprocal, it was hard for him, but he was. I confess he's not the type of person to force things, to always be in that state of anxiety, because it also depends on circumstances. So, getting close to him results in a comfort zone that will be hard to maintain at all costs. I'm definitely grateful to have met him and to have seen him from the start, with that mindset, and somehow I felt we were heading towards a point of convergence, but it's not the right time yet, and I don't know why. I have the feeling that he's capable of seeing it, which isn't the case with my boss, from whom I have no expectations, no reflections whatsoever. Instead, he seeks to persevere, moving in his own direction to then surprise you, which he calls convincing you. He's a manipulative person who tries to shift blame for things that aren't the proper way to act with others in an office, for God's sake. That kind of acting like you're not in the office is something I can't stand. This young man, on the other hand, was aware that he was out in the field, despite our differing, even opposing, principles. He was aware of the context in which he operated, and he wasn't abusive. He earned trust through sheer determination. My boss, however, didn't operate accordingly. In fact, I can feel that I wasn't obligated to be around this young man. I'd even say that he's already looking forward to getting rid of this whole mess with people. Like me, he wants to achieve something organized, but definitely not imposed, because things will eventually explode, and pretending otherwise is just wishful thinking—something my boss, for God's sake, definitely operates on.

That young man certainly has leadership qualities and is aware that he's not a big deal. He displays a pleasant caution, taking things slowly and allowing others to speak. However, my boss is completely out of control. I definitely found myself in the opposite situation to my boss.

Maybe it is because I have always felt left out in crowds and never found someone who reciprocates the same feelings as me; or I might just have no potential in finding a partner without spiraling. I have been with a guy for 7 months now, he seems very sweet. Although, I have a bad past in my relationships: I have been cheated on, with a narcissist, and assaulted, all these with three different guys. These are probably the reasons I can’t trust my partner.

I am constantly worried about him being attracted to other girls, hating me, feeling annoyed of me, thinking he is going to do something bad to me or my body, and now he stops talking to me exactly at 17:30 and I think he’s growing tired of me. Most of the time I end up getting rid of these suspicions but I cannot shake them off ever. He does what a boyfriend is supposed to do but I just can’t believe he actually loves me.

I’m not blaming him for anything because I know deep down he’s not doing anything but no matter what I get these constant suspicions he likes my friend (which happened with the guy who cheated), he’s irritated with me, or that he is going to do what one of those guys did to me.

I need guidance man :( I don’t know what to do anymore

For context I’ve been in my relationship for a year now and he’s always said stupid shit when he’s upset but recently he’s been starting arguments and he won’t just TALK TO ME LIKE IM HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND, for example last night I got home from my job at a donor lab and when I got here he was here playing Minecraft with my brother, when they were no longer playing and he got up I asked if I could sit in the recliner and he says no, and then he pats his lap like he wants me to sit on it but before I can even comprehend it and consider (which admittedly did take a second I have ADHD and just got off a long day at my understaffed as hell job. Sue me.) he just get out of the chair and says “you’re such a bitch” and when I tell him “don’t call me a bitch” he starts pouting and tells me “just go sit down” when I kept telling him not to call me a bitch because when I told him the first time he just rolled his eyes! By the end of it i just left the room and sat outside till he left. I can’t win with him ever, I can’t even come home from work and relax, god forbid I ask if we can do something I want to do he’ll either complain the whole time we’re playing or he’ll act like we only ever do what I want, which just flat out isn’t true! 9 times out of 10 I’m watching him and my brother do or watch something they want to, and my stuff gets made fun of, because of course! Making fun of my likes and interests and calling them cringe makes me feel SO included!! And I’ve told him to stop with all of this shit and he will for like, a week? And then go right back to it! And then I don’t drag him down to cuddle me within a 5 minute time frame and wait for Him to lay back down and he throws a tantrum over how I don’t love him!

It's been five long years since that fateful day when my entire world was turned upside down. I vividly recall sitting on the couch, mindlessly flipping through channels, when an unexpected call shattered the fragile sense of calm. My best friend, the one I confided in and celebrated countless milestones with, had crossed the ultimate line—he stole my wife. I was blindsided, left grappling with a whirlwind of emotions—betrayal, anger, and profound sadness. Now, out of the blue, he’s reaching out, claiming he misses our friendship. As I contemplate this peculiar situation, I find myself wrestling with the fundamental question: how does one forgive someone for such a monumental transgression? 🤔

The wounds inflicted by that betrayal run deep, making it difficult for me to even entertain the notion of rekindling any semblance of a relationship. A close friend once told me, “Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you.” This thought lingers in my mind as I resist the urge to react impulsively. Is forgiveness synonymous with condoning his actions? I often wonder if I am ready to welcome that kind of emotional vulnerability back into my life. Perhaps he truly has had a change of heart, and yet that doesn’t erase the pain of lost trust and shattered expectations. I also reflect on the impact this could have on my personal development. After all, holding onto bitterness can be like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Yet, will I be strong enough to let go?

Admittedly, the idea of forgiveness is a double-edged sword, tantalizing yet terrifying. I can’t help but ponder the concept of second chances. Are we not all human, prone to error? If I were to grant my friend the opportunity to explain himself, would I be unearthing potential for closure or merely reopening old wounds? I sit here, weighing the delicate balance between self-preservation and compassion. Ultimately, I want to be optimistic—perhaps this is a moment to reflect on personal growth. Could this be the pivotal moment that propels me towards healing? Ultimately, I aim to navigate these turbulent waters with an open heart. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you manage to forgive someone who caused you immense pain?

My mom has always been a drinker. Ever since i was a kid i remember at every barbecue, at every kid's birthday party, at every get together there was always alchohol involved. As a child it was normal to me, i thought thats how it was for all families. Every other day your parents and their friends would get together and get belligerent drunk, and every once and a while there would be an altercation or something. It was just the culture. And it sucked as a child, it was never okay, but it was the way things were. I wasn't going to stop it, i was a kid. I'm an adult now and drinking repulses me. I look back on all the horrible things i had to witness because of my families alchoholism and it makes me so fucking angry. Watching my mom's friend try to throw my uncle off our deck and through our fence, watching my aunt throw herself into a barbed wire fence after jumping out of a moving car going 40 mph, watching the barflies drag my mom up the sidewalk to our house and explaining to me that they're pretty sure she had a seizure so i had to keep an eye on her to make sure she was alright. I was 15. The first time i drove a car was to drive my dad home after a night of drinking, he had to push the pedals for me because i was too small to reach them. The first car accident i was in, i was the designated driver trying to get my mom home from the bar and we were almost in a head on collision. My entire face was bruised because i wasnt wearing a seatbelt. I've watched my mom have seizures, fall and crack her head open, give herself black eyes and swollen lips, and tonight her heart started acting up to the point where we thought she was having a heart attack. I'm just so goddamn tired of it, and maybe its bitter but i have no sympathy for her. In her drunken haze she told my aunt she had lung cancer and I don't even know what to say. She probably lied, is it even worth it to ask her in the morning? I think its more likely shed drink herself to death than die of lung cancer. Sorry if this isn't coherent, i'm just fucking angry.

My parents are really too in my business, yet not enough.

They are such hypocrites, saying this and doing another, thinking it doesn't apply to them because they're adults.

One time, I didn't want to wear the dress my mother chose for me for a party and she slapped me, grabbed my hair, pulled me and told me to pack my things and get out (I was 14).

Today, my father asked me to put my creme on (bcs of my eczema), I put the recommended amount (and the amount said in the instructions) on and told me to put some more even though it could give me rashes and itchiness all week. He started yelling at me for being too "stupid", even though the instructions were in French, the doctor who gave me the instructions spoke French and guess what? The frigging pharmacy who gave me recommendations spoke French. HE DOESNT SPEAK FRENCH. My mother sided with him, like the "good wife" she is. They expect "respect" yet they aren't decent human beings.

I have good grades at school, not to please, but to have a good future and run away from home the minute I get a steady income. (I'm 15 btw).

I miss having my crew of friends. Moving to where I have, I'm new here. Got no one. With everything else.. it's just an odd thing for me. To be without friends.

Hi guys,

I'm really into board games, especially Dungeons & Dragons, which my friends and I play every week at my place. We've transformed these gatherings into quite the spectacle over the past five years, complete with costumes, atmospheric lighting, and evocative background music. We truly immerse ourselves in the fantasy world.

Recently, a retired couple in their 60s became my next-door neighbors. They seem nice but are a bit on the traditional side. I’ve noticed them giving me strange stares and steering clear of me, which seemed unusual initially. Then, I concluded they probably weren't too keen on mingling.

However, things took an interesting turn last Saturday. Right as we were peaking in our game intensity, with my buddy Jake delivering a dramatic speech as our nemesis, and me brandishing a prop sword in my rogue's cloak, disruption came knocking—literally. Answering the door in full regalia, I found my new neighbors, expressions etched with concern. It was almost comical as the wife hastily inquired if "everything was okay," referencing the frequent visits, the mystical chants, and our peculiar costumes.

Caught off guard, I jokingly replied, "We’re just summoning demons, no big deal!" I chuckled after the comment, but the joke totally fell flat. They exchanged shocked looks, mumbled about their devout Christianity, and retreated.

The next day added a layer to the misunderstanding; tucked under my door was a “cult deprogramming” brochure coupled with a note suggesting I meet their pastor to "save my soul." My friends found the entire episode amusing, even proposing that we amplify the antics by roaming around in robes and enchanting exaggerated spells in the corridor. Part of me wants to play along, but I'm also slightly concerned about genuinely unnerving them.

If this whole mix-up unfolded on a reality show, I imagine the drama and misunderstanding could reach humorous heights. Cameras would zoom in on the horrified expressions of my neighbors and capture every mischievous grin of mine. The reveal episode, where the truth comes out, could even end up being heartwarming or hilariously absurd as both parties come to understand each other's worlds.

Am I a jerk for unintentionally leading my neighbors to think they’re living beside a cult leader? Should I straighten out this mess, or just let them think what they will? 😁