Parenting And Education Stories

My husband has always had custody of his son. I came in the picture when he was 1 years old. Bio mom shows her face a few times a year. Normally on holidays when she likes to throw a fuss that she IS the mother and deserves to see/have him for holidays but otherwise doesn't bother with him any other time. Just for back story she has never worked, never provided for the child in any way, has never bought clothing or furniture or anything of the sort for my son. She also has another kid about 9 months younger than my son. And amongst a plethora of other issues, she will occasionally DEMAND hand-me-downs from my son because her other child "deserves them"/"deserves to feel close to his brother." To the point of questioning me when i list up things on Facebook market place as to why I am doing that and not just giving her the things. Or when I list them on freecycle again throwing a tantrum that they were not offered to her first . When he does outgrow toys that were given to him by her (which doesn't happen often because they are usually cheap and break before that can happen) they are offered back to her. But seeing as how my husband, his family, my family or myself solely support my son's every want and need i feel it is within my right to do whatever I want with what is ours and think it is ridiculous she thinks she has a right to them in any way.

When I come to the U.S., I was only 8 years old. My mom and dad bring me and my little sister from Mexico, saying we gonna have better life, better future. I believe them, I really do. But now, I am 26, and sometimes, I still don’t feel like I belong here. I do everything like American people—I go school here, I work here, I even speak English good (okay, not perfect, but good enough, I think). But still, when people look at me, I know they see different. They ask me, "Where you from?" and when I say, "Oh, I grew up here," they just look at me like they don’t believe me. Like I have to explain more. Sometimes I say, "I’m from Mexico," just to make it easy, but then they ask, "Oh, so you not American?" And I don’t know what to say. What I am? I am both. But also, maybe neither.

Life as first generation immigrant is... weird. I grow up in house where everything is Mexican—food, music, telenovelas, my parents speaking Spanish all the time. But outside, everything is American. I go to school, and kids make fun of my lunch because it smell “weird.” Teachers say my name wrong, so I stop correcting them. I try so hard to fit in, but at home, my mom tell me, "No te olvides de dónde vienes." Don’t forget where you come from. And I try, but sometimes I feel like I am too Mexican for Americans, but too American for Mexicans. I go back to visit family in Mexico, and my cousins laugh at my Spanish. "Hablas como gringo," they say. They right, I guess. But then here, people tell me, "Wow, your English is so good!" like they surprise. So, what am I? Where do I belong? I don’t know. And maybe, I never will.

So.

I’ve been struggling with different things for the past three years or even four, it’s been a while and I cannot remember exactly when this did start but I’ve tried everything to fit into what people want me to fit but at the same time I don’t care and at the same time o don’t wanna be a part of them, even if I try to be different I feel like if I’m just calling the attention or something like that and I’m afraid, afraid of myself and disgusted and…I don’t know what more, my mother did find out and tried to force me to get better by trying to make me fit in what she wants that just kept me pulling down

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

2/2/25 3:19am

I have so much to say although no understanding of where to start.

Recently I've become overwhelmed with a sense of boredom, somber, longing, pain, etc.

I've been thinking about my father, what would it be like to have a relationship with him

to have cherish-able memories of him, instead I'm left with nothing maybe a few pictures

even with 2yr old me in his arms. You know i didn't realize how much having a dead father

would affect me or if it had a take on me at all, it does. Every moment of everyday I'm left with

thoughts such as "if he was here what would be different?" "though he's dead is he proud of me?" "do you love me still? after all of my mistakes, wrong doings, lessons?"

I feel sick each time i talk to her about it, my mother... I remember one time i had brought him up

i had said i missed him but you know, she misses him more because that was her first love her soulmate, i was just a baby i didn't have anything, not a clue.

I lost my dad but she lost her soulmate, i refuse to argue or to even bring it up i don't even bring up his name anymore, what's the point? nothing is going to change and I'll never get what i need...what i need.

I feel guilty, sick, torn. I have Tim, Tim is like my father...the one i never had right....

he's been around since i was a baby took the parental role when my dad died.

I feel sick yearning for my dad when i have him, Tim.

I feel disgusted with myself entirely, i have an increasingly difficult time reaching out to anyone

family, friends. Papa, Tim he lives by himself my mom and brothers were with him at some point but he's alone now

he does so much for everyone and i wish i could be there with him so he'd never discover what loneliness is.

My mom and papas relationship is complex, honestly not my business and i don't wanna go on a full lore drop about our timeline, maybe another night.

It had seemed the day papa came home years ago, found my mom with an other man he left and nothing has been the same. For a long time things seemed to go down hill, maybe because i haven't taken my meds in two months that i feel like this. I dislike that i still get emotional over things i thought i healed from, but why am i lying? i know i haven't healed matter of fact i don't know how or where to start or if it's even possible, will i feel like this, think like this forever?

will i always struggle so hard? will i always need artificial happiness?

Some thing's I've realized over these few years is that I'm not tims daughter, i never will be, he accepts me cause I'm not the "ghetto hood rat" black girl I'm "whitewashed" apparently. they've worked to destroy and invalidate my skin color and culture, I've learned I'll never have a true significant meaning to any of my family because of different in every aspect, I'm the black sheep in a field of grey and i have to learn to be okay with that.

I know this is a drastic topic change but universe please give me a knowing sign, i need something I'm hurting so bad and i don't understand. I don't wanna be mean and quick to anger anymore...i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. I'm so sorry.

I need help so bad.

I feel like vomiting i haven't been eating much recently, pushing back tears, i feel so pathetic i can't show my feelings to anyone without feeling sick and it seems that nobody likes me, what's wrong with me? am i annoying maybe to much or even not enough? why? why does nobody like me? am i not interesting or worth anyone's time? am i not deserving?

I wanna hurt myself it feels so good, so familiar its been a habit since i was 10 and i don't know if i can stay clean much longer.

Although I'm hurting and shit i can acknowledge my growth through this journey, though in some aspects I've also gotten worse or even fallen back.

I don't wanna die but fuck, it's like every time I'm suicidal it hurts so good and when I'm content and stable I'm on edge, waiting for something to happen mourning the temporary "loss" of my usual somber mindset and body language.

Its a cycle I'm slowing learning to break but sometimes i don't want to break it, i want to live in it bathe in it.

I want to tell my mom and crawl into her lap and sob till my hearts content, but no amount of crying can ease my pain, no amount of comfort, and I've learned that my problems will never sum up to anything because nothing I've been through is severe enough it'll all never be valid.

I think I'll always be this way, though i have much fortune that I'll never overlook I'll still always be this difficult, angry, and sad person who can't grasp anything, I'll always be the being who can't react without emotion and hurt.

I miss you dad

Hi, it's me again, X, here with another vent.

I've been boggled by the news lately about this universal Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) that's becoming a worldwide standard. In the Philippines, the Senate is now discussing the Anti-Teenage Pregnancy Bill, which suggests that CSE would be taught to students. What's more concerning is the claim that they're considering teaching masturbation to children as young as 0-4 years old.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but I grew up preserving traditions and religion, and for me, isn't this just so wrong to do? I understand the importance of educating the youth, but introducing such topics at such a tender age feels inappropriate.

Moreover, I believe that to prevent children from engaging in sexual activities at a very young age, we should limit their exposure to such topics in the first place. Teaching them about masturbation and the pleasures of sex seems counterproductive. Instead of reducing teenage pregnancies, this might encourage them to experiment more.

Why not implement laws that hold parents accountable for their children's actions? Providing explicit knowledge and exposure to children seems like we're tolerating, if not encouraging, them to engage in such activities. If they were more aware of the consequences, perhaps they would think twice before acting.

Again, this is just me. I'm not into politics; I'm just thinking of humane ways to deal with these kinds of topics.

I fight with my mom and when she wanna makes up i just freeze and cant talk. I give the toxic silent treatment

My child has being struggling with mental issues for a while now: first it was eating disorders, following depression, anxiety and now also OCD with Germ phobia. With the right help we were able to cope with anorexia and anxiety but no matter how many times they changed her medications (kind or dosage) nothing is helping her with depression and her OCD got so bad that she barely lives a normal life (but fortunately she was able to get to the last year of college this year). When she is with others she puts on an act, you can tell something is off but not as bad as when she is home. Sometime it is so frustrating that I would like to cry, or scream or just get the door and escape. Believe me, I know it is harder for her but seeing your child living like that makes a parent heart ache. I am continuously worried about her future and it breaks my heart seeing that she is not able to live her life at her fullest when other people that would don't have the luck to do it. At times I feel so guilty of not being able to help her and mad at all the specialists she got to see during these years that didn't make her improve at all, actually I see she is getting worse. But than I realize I can't blame them totally because since she has been an adult I am not involved in her session at all and she lies a lot on what the reality is and being everything on video calls now, I think they can't really realize how bad the situation is.

I am tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, upset, sad...but I don't know what to do anymore to save my little Princess from herself.

its been a long time since i've realizd but i think i am fully admitting to my myself this just now that i've certainly become a failure. last time i was preparing for my exams with full enthusiasm and now that i am a 11th grader my whole life is fucking turned upside down. i ha dstarted on this ourney of preparing for an entrance exam for engineeering colleges but took the option of staying at my school which usualy doing the same thing as me (preparing for the same exam) dont do. i was confident in proving the people who toold me that staying in school won't get you your college. i was confident. because i had no one to tell me the right thing. no one to explain to me what i was setting myself up for. i was just a person with dreams who'd not thoroughly thought of the path that they'd be taking neither had they researched about this. they just took this path because it seemed cool and many people were doing it and also heard that there father's dream was to get the top college that you could get through this exam. i didnt know anything about it and just followed whatever others around me were doing. i didnt realize the seriousness of this thing. and dint give me best which i am still far from giving. i scores very well in ast year's exam that i told you about however i could do more on that too if i were just a little more serious. os now i have wasted my 2024 not studying in my school. when i look at the more serious kids around me theyre so fucking ahead of me i cant even imagine that id ever be at their level i just think i am done for and now i dont have the fucking motivation to do anything. i cant study. i just cant bring myself to do it i dont know why i just have gotten so good at procastinating and so good at just regretting things after i did the wronng stuff that i seem to not even care right now. i dont fucking know what to do and i just wanna die right now. also i couldnt bring myself to tell this to anyone despite having so many friends and pretty undertsanding parents but i just cant. and i dont know how this websiete works. i just wanna

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?

I'm a teenager. When It was quarantine, I've slowly gotten depression, anxiety, and all that stuff. One day, my mother didn't come home that night with my father since they both work 8 to 5. I was worried and asked where she was. My dad said she was staying somewhere else for the night, but my worries didn't die down. I later texted my mother asking where she was and she said that she was in the sidewalk and that she was going to sleep there. I was shocked and continued to text her until 12 AM. She told me to go to sleep, so I deleted out convo with her and cried to sleep. Later on that following week, I found out she was staying over her friend's house and slept over there, because she and my father got into an argument. Fast forward a couple weeks, our pitbull named Luna got out of her cage and got loose all over the outside of our house. We had gates so she couldn't leave easily. As my parents got home from work, we found out that she chewed on my mother's slippers that were outside. My father was irritated and when I was in my room, possibly playing my games or watching tiktok, I hear the throws of slippers my dad threw to Luna. Abusing her, I heard her pained howls but i turned a blind eye. I didnt wanna end up like her. That night, I also cried to sleep. One day, my mom was suspecting she had cancer. So she went on a checkup with my father. After a couple days, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was laying in my bed when my father came up to my bed and told me 'youre always on your phone. Decrease your screen time and at least care for your mother. Your mother had cancer now and she needs all the love and care." I interpreted this on how I understood what he said. When I heard that, I was horrible. I was helpless. I wanted to help my mother but didn't know how. Right when my father left the room, I burst into tears. Slowly breaking down. (My mom is fine and healthy now. She got her chemotherapy treatment done already, and does regular check ups.). In quarantine, I'm sure it was normal that some people like me got fat and all that. I was insecure of my fat body back then, and wanted to get skinny. But then one day, my father told me something before me and my mom we're about to go out. "You look pregnant" he says with a grin. If that were a joke, why didn't I laugh? After that day, I started to starve myself and started only eating 1 meal a day. It was a couple months, after my mom found out since I was throwing up due to not eating properly. I'm well off now, at least better than before. Back to quarantine, I had this trio I was part of since elementary. But when it was quarantine, things started to change. One day we started to fight all afternoon, and let's call one of them Anna, and the other Rachel. Rachel avoided the arguments, usually the peace maker or just agreeing to some statements one did to another. Anna and I were the ones fighting. She was always with her other friends, and I was thinking that she was replacing me and rachel with her new trio. Every argument was over text because it was quarantine of course, but I mostly ended with sobbing to my plushies on my bed in the afternoon. Time passes, it's 2022. We went back to school with just me and rachel as friends. We broke ties with Anna after finding out the toxic friendship. In the first year of my freshman year of highschool, I was doing well. Enjoying being with the new classmates. I loved how joyful they were. Until one day, in second quarter. Our car's battery broke and my father was irritated and frustrated with all the money he had to spend. (We're well off also.) He was angry as well that we didn't seem to care and only cared about our own efficiency on the car. We didn't. My mother, the wife she is. She tries to help. Offering to contact the car brand company so they'll fix it. My father then broke out and said "if you thought of it, you pay for it! It's easy." I can hear the anger even if it was in text. I was in school while that happened. I was reading the texts in out family gc, holding back my tears. Afraid anyone will see. After my father sent a few more messages, my mother then broke as well. "Fix yourself, (father's name.)! We aren't the cause that car broke down, so don't blame us!' I can feel her frustration through the phone. After my father sent a few more text messages, my mother left. I thought they were going to go through a divorce. After two hours or so, my mom was added back by my big sister. My parents then deleted their messages, and my father texted me, "sorry about earlier, okay?" I ignored his message. After all this, I now have eczema, because of genes and possibly stress. I am now acidic, I cannot eat too much food that contains acids. Such as apples. I have mental problems, and I can barely understand myself. (I have not seeked a therapist for all this, as I have been hiding this from everyone. I am a minor and most probably need an adult to consult to a therapist.)

I should start by saying I have kids. I am extremely grateful for that. Tonight I’m just thinking about all the stuff I’ve sat on for 3+ years from my babies because I pictured myself so actively watching other peoples kids and raising them with my own. But no one asks me to babysit or brings their kids here. Just makes me sad. I have a bottle & sippy, snack cups, a high chair, a play chair, a bouncer, a play pen, a changing mattress, a bassinet, an extra car seat even. Literally “just in case” and there’s never an “in case” from the people in my circle. I’ve always been the “lady that’s good with kids” my entire adult life.. I worked with kids for years before changing careers. People used to ask me to babysit constantly before I had my own. It’s just weird being at this point and always picturing myself being the mom with all the kids at her house but all the kids are just mine. I know it’s probably something stupid to be sad about, but I can’t help it when I see the stuff in the back of the cabinet. I know people probably just assume I don't want more kids here on top of my 3. I have twins in preschool and my oldest is less than 2 years older… but I wish they would just ask anyway.

Tbh I’m not exactly sure why I’m doing this I guess because I don’t really have any other way to get it out . I’m a 20 year old man I’ve lived on my own for a few years with no support from family or friends. I got married when I was 19 to a woman I had been with for several years and at the time had a 9 month old son with. About 5 months into our marriage she told me she wanted a divorce and with the divorce she wasn’t just leaving me but our 1 year old son so for the last 6 months it’s just been me and him and I love him very much and wouldn’t have it any other way . But a lot of times I feel like I’m failing him as a father because I struggle so much financially his birthday was a few weeks ago and I wasn’t able to afford any gifts for him as well as now Christmas being two weeks away and I still can’t afford anything for him . I know that these things don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I try to tell myself he is fed and clothed an healthy and he has a nice place to live but as his father it’s hard for me to not give him things like Christmas gifts and birthday presents because I want him to have the world and experience the magic of the holidays . Its been a long year and I just wish I could give him a magical Christmas

!!VENT!!

sure.. haha its my first time talking or writing about my feelings :) but I'll try to explain it as clear as i can. so.. i dont know i feel so so sooooooo overwhelmed and stressed even in smallest things, but i keep procrastinating and it makes me hate myself more... i wanna do it but i just cant.. its like my mind acts on its own like copying the homework from answers and not doing it myself - i wanna do it, i do really! but... ugh.. i hate it.. and this is the first problem i guess..

and others are like, hmm maybe very very low self esteem?? haha i know it sounds pathetic but i cant even trust myself with simplest things.. for example lets say i did the dishes an hour ago, then my mom comes and tells me that i havent done it. And i'll automatically start rethinking about it, doubting myself and manipulating myself into thinking i really didnt do it... i know its just my lame fantasies and overthinking.. but it makes my life even more harder... generally we can say my memory, head, imagination and everything related with mind is a mess!! complete dark mess!! it feels so so soooo foggy that i cant even think properly sometimes....and other problem is that i dont even trust myself with my own freaking emotions or thoughts!!! i feel like my mind is manipulating me into thinking or just making up my emotions and opinions.... i dont even trust myself.... let alone others.... i dont even trust my parents fully.... and i feel bad for it... they've done nothing but love me and support me... spend dozen of money for my education and wants.... but what about me?... im a psychopath who even doubts her love for her family!!! i feel like im faking everything and im just a evil ungrateful heartless monster inside.. who dont deserve this much opportunities.. support... love.. and trust.... they rely on me while im also lost and trying to find myself through the darkness and fogginess of my mind... i feel so useless... talentless... like my friends and family would be better off without me causing them to worry about my crazy mental health, extreme mood swings minimum twice a day, my dark jokes that worry them instead of making them laugh.... and my teachers.. who trust me... believe that i could get into good uni and take 8,5 or 9 score from IELTS (yea, english isnt my first language) while im just a dumb mess that doesnt deserve all of these... i think ur getting bored or smth... i just dont know what to say or how to explain this.. this failure.. me... oh yea another thing :) haha my writing is messy too... anyways wish u patience dealing with me!!! XD

and also i feel like my mind is a monster... it is actually XD when i wanna improve myself, when i wanna get out of this mess... my mind dont let me... it wants to be depressed... suicidal... stressed all the time... telling me that i dont deserve to be happy when im also a burden to others... and a lot more... i dont even understand it myself

I always thought I’d be ready for this moment. I mean, isn’t that what parenting is all about? You raise your kids to be independent, to go out into the world and make their own lives. But now that it’s actually happened, I feel so... lost. The empty nest isn’t what I expected at all.

Last month, our youngest moved out to start college. The house feels so quiet now, almost like it’s holding its breath. For years, it was filled with laughter, noise, and the constant chaos of a busy family. Now, it’s just me and my husband, and we don’t really know what to do with ourselves. We used to joke about all the free time we’d have once the kids were gone, but the silence is... unsettling.

I find myself wandering into their rooms, staring at the posters on the walls, and wondering how time flew by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was helping them with homework, driving them to soccer practice, or staying up late to make sure they got home safe from a night out. Now, they’re off living their lives, and I’m stuck here trying to figure out what mine looks like without them in it every day.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m proud of them. So proud. They’re doing amazing things, and I know this is how it’s supposed to be. But I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in being a mom. Now that they don’t need me the same way, I’m struggling to figure out who I am outside of that role.

Everyone keeps saying I should take this time to focus on myself, pick up hobbies, or travel. But it’s hard to start when your heart feels so heavy. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you adjust to life with an empty nest? I want to be happy for them, and I am, but I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness.