Parenting And Education Stories

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like I had a good day today. I felt clearheaded as I reflected on the nature of my relationship with my father, which until recently had been extremely tangled—and therefore problematic.

My father lives with his partner and her daughter, and I live separately. There’s a sister I know nothing about, and my mother is a shared figure between us whom we both have essentially discarded due to her abusive behavior and controlling tendencies. My father still interacts with that whole group—except with me. Our interaction is practically nonexistent.

He lives with that pair, has to work with my mother, and I have no idea what kind of relationship he has with my sister. Essentially, my father carries a heavier family load than I do, on top of working and studying. As for me, I don’t have much of a family context. I work and explore creative outlets. In that sense, I assume I have more flexibility, though I don’t waste time either—unlike him. Our reflections come from different modes: his from contrast with a loaded family routine, and mine from being detached from such a routine. In the end, it leads us to the same thing.

My father provides financially—he pays for my housing and gives me money for small luxuries. I, on the other hand, cover my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner, house cleaning costs, snacks, and personal entertainment. In that way, we’re even.

We both stay in our own spaces—he in his academic bubble, and I in my freedom. I’ve left behind the academic setting as a symbol of discarding the past, while he reclaims it by investing in expanding his knowledge. Both of us, in our own ways, have tried to break away from the events of the past. However, things resurfaced after a long period of imposed silence.

That silence stemmed from problems with my stepmother. Contact resumed when I began expressing things I hadn’t voiced during that time. After that, my father started controlling me through opaque conditions, designed to avoid disapproval on either side and to prevent conflict. Eventually, I stopped playing by those rules, to the point of disrupting the family structure—just as he had once disrupted my principles of freedom and personal growth. That led to a kind of balance: he and I have both suffered the same, so now we can approach each other with both caution and independence. From this, I conclude that I’m safe and sound in regard to this relationship.

Being able to visualize this long-evolving dynamic in an organized way gives me the clarity to approach other relationships that I now need to study more closely.

Now, I’m approaching a young woman. She’s in a misogynistic relationship—against her will—trapped in a group dynamic that pushes her to stay, even though it benefits only her partner. He retains dominance because he hasn’t been subjected to guilt or rejection like she has. She’s had to face rejection from both families involved in the relationship, while he remained accepted by both. She reached out to me over a year ago, seeking a transition—a way out of that group and into something with me. And I believe we’re making progress. Based on my observations, that relationship is doomed to end over time. I feel hopeful, knowing she’ll be safe and free to grow. And I’ll have the honor of witnessing the evolution of a masterpiece—human freedom and diversification.

I used to think her relationship mirrored the one I had with my father. But it turns out to be the opposite. In her case, she fought hard to maintain the relationship and ended up rejected by both families. In my situation, I fought for justice against the abuse from both my mother and stepmother. I didn’t necessarily depend on my father’s support, though at times he offered some. In the first case, neither of us were accepted. In the second, I wasn’t. That part mirrors her story. But I wasn’t fighting to keep the relationship with my father—I felt that relationship was already safe. If I go deeper, in the first case I was defending my father from my mother’s abuse, which even he couldn’t justify. In the second, with my stepmother, the conflict began because I wanted to prevent her from interfering in our relationship. In that sense, the girl and I are similar.

When I reconnected with her, after her ordeal with the two families, she was conditioned into blind obedience to her partner—much like I was with my father. She expressed this openly, and like me, she got involved in activities that exercised the mind and helped her move forward. That happened with my support. With those experiences, I began to take back ground that had been dominated by her partner—just as I had done with my father. And so, she ended up under my influence, although I never ruled out the possibility of her reconnecting with her partner. So maybe it doesn’t make sense to say I helped her leave that relationship—she had already left, even if I was physically beside her.

Then, once I regained those points of influence, the only thing left for her was to stop letting her partner control those same points. But that doesn’t happen just by distancing—it takes initiative to reclaim them. That’s how autonomy is achieved. With my father, I reclaimed those points and then learned how to hold influence without using it—creating balance and empathy. With her, the goal would be for her to reclaim influence and apply it to her partner, to reach a similar empathetic point. That would create enough separation to finally end that relationship. This reclaiming process could be seen as her learning from my way of doing things.

So now the question is: When will she decide to take that step? Should I wait for her? What do I do in the meantime? Based on this reasoning, she needs to take the initiative. That’s why the question arises—and that’s why I must wait. But since I have no idea what her current situation is, I also need to assume she’s not present. So I must continue with my life as if she’s not there, because I lack the context. I don’t know when she’ll reclaim those points, or under what conditions.

At this stage in my life, I can’t factor her into the equation. I have to assume she’s no longer part of it. There’s no continuation—nothing more to do for now. Any thoughts I have about her current life would only be speculation, born from assumptions that don’t belong to me. And it’s precisely from that place that she must begin again, if she chooses to.

I had only heard of the “Mommy Wars” but never saw anything nearby. Figured it was dying down. Nope. They are still a thing and always will be despite the whole “women need to support other women” war cry. Be gracious to ALL moms! Working/SAHM, young/older, homeschool/traditional, homestead organic/fast food…Every single one is just trying to survive.

I've been homeschooled my whole life. I've always hated it and left me to feel bitter. I saw my friends who went to public or private schools, they told me I was lucky, yet they were the ones who had friends, relationships, even the resources at school that helped them with their education. I had none of those. For me, I would wake up, go on my computer, finish my school, and stay home. I begged my mother to put me into public school when I reached 9th grade, didn't happen. Best she could do was enroll me into a virtual school, not any better since it was the exact same lifestyle. The only way my mother would comfort me was tell me about College, how when I got to college I'll meet so many people and start my life. Everyone told me that. That was what I held onto during my years, it was the only thing that kept me going. I worked hard, had a great GPA, did a lot of strong extracurriculars, take strong classes. Long story short, college admissions season has ended, and I basically got into none of the schools in my state that I wanted to go to. Every out of state school that I applied to and wanted to go so badly accepted me, all with scholarships. But it's too expensive, I have no financial aid since my family makes too much, but they said they won't help cover costs if I go out of state. The only in state school that accepted that is decent quality is 20 minutes away from my house, I'll get a car at least. To make it even better, it's known as a commuter school, social life is dry from what I've heard. All of my friends got into their dream schools, schools that they should be proud of, meanwhile Im ashamed. I thought it would finally be my time, something would finally happen. But nope. I'll be at my home, doing the same routine I have done my whole life. Nothing will change. I'll never go to a football game with friends, I'll never live in a dorm, I'll never know the thrill of being on my own. I wanted so badly to have that. So badly to live. Know I just feel empty and bitter and I keep thinking about all the "what ifs". I've never had the average teenage experience, hell, I haven't even had my first kiss. Now I will never have what I have only been dreaming of my whole life. I can't even begin to explain the absolute despair I am feeling. I thought things would be different, I thought I would be celebrating, not mourning the life I will never have. What stories will I tell to my children? I don't have any.

Hubby and I have five kiddos, one a newborn and others under 9. We met up with family for school holidays. Idk if it’s the change of scenery, the hype of seeing family since before Christmas, or the change of routine but the four kids are just hyper and a bit more disobedient. We have a good handle on them but it’s taking a few extra tries to get them in line. Anyways, after a few days of this and the activities with family, I’m getting embarrassed by the kids’ behaviour and I’m just physically wiped. I’m gonna need a vacation from this vacation. I feel like the family is getting a bit annoyed too and idk what else to do or say aside from “sorry about that”. They are obviously forgiving but there is no further encouragement from them. I’m not expecting a whole support group. I’m simply venting here. I hate that my kids are acting up and I hate that I’m embarrassed by their behaviour instead of just loving them and continue loving and disciplining them and staying consistent. I hate that I’m not gracious or graceful. I cried yesterday out of frustration. I just want them to be easy going and respectful so a cousin or aunt can take them for a bit and hubby and I can actually enjoy a sliver of this vacation too (or at least nap!!!). We are literally just parenting in another city and the kids are harder than usual. I’m just so upset and venting. I know things will get better. Just had to get it out! Thanks.

I can't self diagnose or anything but I'm 98% sure I'm autistic, the stories my family tells me about when I was younger add up to the autism symptoms I feel now. I've taken the Raads-R test or whatever it's called, I've actually take a bunch, all which lead to the general consensus that I do in fact most definitely have autism. I don't know how to tell my parents. they're asian and they told me a couple years ago that autistic people are weird and not normal or whatever and they probably dont believe anything i try to tell them. they dont believe im aromantic and that me being a tomboy is just a phase. life is becominig harder and harder and i dont know. i just cant do naything. the amount of stress increases every day and whenever i cry or say something about it theyre like oh its cause of that phone your addicted to. I barely have screentime because im so busy, i dance and im at school all day to the point where i only come home to sleep. they are. also pushing me to go to college, which I cant be bothered anymore. I dont. want to go to school anymore and I want to dance. I want to go to europe and dance or something like that. I don't know i dont thik my parents will support me. They'll probably be like u cant make a living, u have to go to college. you porblably got this idea from your phone didn't u. like idk anymore, what do i have to do to convince my parents

im 11, and its tiring. im chinese born in australia. sometimes i want to rip my hair out. Why? because the ASAT exists. The asat is the most competitive exam for year 6's. its in 29 days and im stressed. its like my life revolves around the asat. im tired. studying is hell. when i ACTUALLY study my parents get mad at for studying. like they keep saying that im not studying and basically unmotivate me. its like when u wanna put away the dishes without being told, but then ur parents tell u to. LIKE ITS SO FRICKEN ANNOYING. it keeps happening over and over. i jst waste more time crying and wondering what i did wrong to deserve this. its tiring honestly

brooo my mom keeps hitting me with a cord and I'm so sick of it, shes genuinely insane. When she chases me to hit my I usually run out and hide in the neighborhood, and my mom is psycho that she calls the police on me, what devastated me is that when I told my story to the police they didn't believe me over my mother and asked irrelevant questions about substance abuse and gangs and stuff, and just believed everything my mom twisted even though I said to them that she twists words and lies often. I think its funny bcz later my mom panicked and was all quiet like "idk what to do" then an hour later she completely switched up and saying stuff literally like "I have I right to hit my child!!"

"This little brat can't do shit to me or my job!!"

and thankfully I hid well enough in the closet (behind the long hanging dresses) that she couldn't find me because I was afraid she would beat tf out of me just for being angry again.

The fact that I actually believed the police would do anything is so pathetic

If there's one thing I learned from this whole experience is that police don't give a shit about their duties and will always believe the parent over the child. wanna know why? this happened before too!

The last time I ran out the house from her chasing me and I brought her home key (forgot to mention that when I run out, she locks the door so I cant come back in until the morning)

and she called the police on me for that.

I explained to the police that I took the key so that I wouldn't have to be stuck out there when most days was like 20 degrees and/or windy and cold. and even though I told him all that, they seriously made me give back the house key (there are three, so it's not like she needs all of them), AND give away my hiding spots for the key to my mother.

I fucking hate these people.

I told them the truth but why would they believe me?

I'm just another spoiled kid who has bad behaviors

except I'm not. I have straight a's in dual credit classes and honor classes planning to get associates by high school graduation and my English teacher even said I could be valedictorian if I attended any clubs or extra curriculars, except little do they know, their English special education teacher/coworker is a lot more fucking neglectful and insane than they think and love to say that "she simply doesn't want to go", bitch I asked and you say yes and then switch up last second every single time, I ask every possible chance, it gets so bad when I give some club advisors false answers, and I have to make up some dumb excuse like "My mom said she cant afford the gas". It gets so fucking annoying.

Not only that, but yesterday she literally threw my shoes away. YES, MY SHOES. Because she didn't like that I kept "leaving the house at night" (what she tells the police and everyone else, just straight lie) in reality, I'm literally being chased by you in that moment, when you are screaming with a cord, and sometimes some random object. Sorry, but I'm not staying in the house with a psycho like you that literally BROKE MY NOSE BEFORE?!?!?! fuck nah get me out of this crazy household T-T.

It gets so tiring.

You might be wondering, where's the father? Long story short, my mom kicked him out for being "lazy" (he did all the chores and I'm just now realizing how much he was working for all of us) and divorced him. making up bullcrap and acting all scared as if he's some kind of villain, "he's gonna take our house and leave us on the street" like omg stfu, ur not no victim. And I recently realized that shes been lying and msging that I hate him and want to keep living with my mother. I can't even text my dad and have to rely on my moms texts because my mom took away all my electronics and I don't know my dads email even If I had access to gmail during school. We moved like 40 minutes (driving) away, so even if I knew his address, I couldn't walk for 5-6 hours without getting lost.

OK that's it for this rant, just needed to get this off my chest ;-;

Year 12 is so god damn mentally draining. While I don't have really strict parents they are still brown. I know they say that they just want me to do my best and get what I can achieve I FEEL LIKE IM DROWNING.

bio, i like bio. its something i perform decently well in. my parents never pushed me towarsd the typical be an engenieer or doctor, i still find interest in science and maybe research stuff.

maths however is a different story. maths makes me want to kms. I was an academically gifted student at maths up till grade 9 or 10 but then everything fell. The only thing my parents care "most" about is maths.

after my recent maths test that's quite important i was stressing and they said don't worry about it, you'll do good and even if you don't as long as you tried hard.

that made me feel a bit better. however, a few days later i got my marks back and i did pretty shit. 17/40. for someone who needs to perform quite well. I dont know what happened but evey single day afterschool they WOULD NOT STOP ASKING ME WHEN I WAS GETTING MY MARKS BACK. my dad then says as long as you get 25 plus its fine.

wtf? The problem is that this test I actually fucking tried. i studied for 2 weeks, did the book chapters, past papers? and did worse than last time. my mental health is decreasing. I think im slowly starting to fucking spiral. i cant concentrate anymore, cant focus. i just cant do anything.

I dont what to tell my parents. say i got a 20/40 but i dont know

my reports come out in a few days so they will porbaly see where i sit compared to others i am fucking scared. they wont be mad just 'dissapointed' i want to fucking disappear and never shwo up ever ever again.

i hate school i hate maths. whoever created this system i hope you suffered because i hope it was worth sacrificing millions of kids' lives for somehtign so irrelevant. calculus? trig?

Just a heads-up if the timeline or anything doesn’t really make sense, I am sorry but my memory of all the events isn´t all that accurate since the memories are from young age and filled with trauma.

I come from a broken and toxic family. Abusive father that left us when I was about 10 years old who kept manipulating and mentally destroying me for another year or so with sentences like "do you even like me and see me as your daddy" (which he told to me when he was leaving us and I was about 10 years old). Leaving me with mental struggles from a young age. From the memories I have of him when he was still with us, he didn´t participate in parenting in any other way than „I hear something is not right so I´ll go there and beat them “. Let´s say I was lucky because he wasn´t beating me since I was too young (about 5 or 6 at that time). Not the same fate had my mother and brother which is older by 4 years. Before he left us, he basically made my mother to quit her job to „stay with the kids “since he was earning enough and was paying for the mortgage of our house and after he left, he stopped paying for it fully. Which left my mother with 2 children, without a job and a house to pay for which she couldn´t afford. She ended up selling the house under-priced so we could move into an apartment but before that happened, we were staying at different family members for day or weeks depending on their willingness (this was going on for about half a year). After this was settled, she started looking for a new father for us and after some failed attempts she found an unintelligent loser who comes from a rich family and his dad is paying for everything and even employing him. This guy has no education or anything, but in the span of few years he started drinking and smoking heavily which was funded by my mother since he was getting paid a minimum wage and couldn´t afford his addictions on his own. After a about 2/3 years, he wanted a baby with my mother with the promise of cutting of his addictions which he ended up not doing and I have a younger brother now. I didn´t get along with this guy which is only like 10-12 years older than me at all and had multiple conflicts with him, one of them ended up with me calling police on him after he attacked me but was stopped by my mother. Luckily for him the people from police officers I called was his friends from the inn so he got out of it with just a warning and from that point our relationship was going downhill. My mother stayed with this guy for about 10 years in total before ending things with him for like the 5th time and hopefully this one will be the final one. My older brother got some serious trauma from our biological father and became really isolated and lonely which led to me being his pretty much only friend and I basically overtook the role of an „older sibling “and tried to be the one he can lean on to. My mother which is very aware of her constant failures as a parent to provide a „normal family “and all the stuff around became a real mess mentally which excludes both of my older family members from my ability to lean on or vent out to or ask for guidance. I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, self-hatred and loneliness. for a long time but I´d say I´m clean of most of it for like 4 years now. But my educational life wasn´t easy, I had no idea what I wanted to do in my life since I was really ambitious and constantly was trying out a lot of new things but almost always failing due to something and I never got any support or guidance from my mother so I felt hopeless.

After primary school I went to a secondary school where I was for 2 years before I started to fail it due to lack of interest and mental issues of that time, so I failed a year and changed a school. Pretty much the same happened but I was there for only one year and now I´m at my 3rd secondary school which I´m supposed to study for 3 years there. I´m basically halfway through but there are again some issues. I downgraded in the schools and currently the one I am at doesn’t have the best reputation since it has a lot of having unintelligent students and/or drug addicts. I was always a misfit but I didn´t mind, I enjoy being alone but on this school its different. I´m not alone, I am alone and being harassed/bullied without a way of fighting back Since I can´t defend myself physically because one of my classmates did and got kicked out of the school because „violence doesn’t have a place in school “and my headteacher and the school headmasters are powerless until they attack me physically which they are just not dumb enough to do. The end result of this is everyone I turned to for help in the school told me „I can´t help you, just man up and get through it “. I thought I had a solution for some time, since it is a school where they teach us manual work, we get the opportunity to go into a work while studying and getting separated from your class. I took the chance and was working for about half a year. Since it´s a seasonal job (we can´t really work in the winter) some time before Christmas I was told to go back to the school for the winter and a few days ago I was supposed to go there again for the first time after winter. The day I went there my supervisor told me I am fired. I was confused, but after some digging and deeper thoughts I realised that the son of the owner I didn´t really got along well with and he had a lot of friends and power over his daddy so that is my theory to why I got fired. Now to the current issues. I had a plan of skipping school during the winter so I don’t have to meet with my classmates. This plan was heavily supported by my mental state of getting physically sick, vomiting, having cold, and agonizing headache most of the time the day before or the morning of the day I was supposed to go to school. Which led to me having almost 80% of absence which is way too much and now that I am fired, I have to go back there basically without missing a day of school or I am out. The situation at home doesn’t help at all either. My brother dropped out of college but he got well paid job so now I am being looked down at by all of my family for being “unable to graduate even from secondary school even though I am smart” and getting fired. Few days ago, was my 20th birthday and at the day of a family celebration my close family circle gathered not to wish me or support me. They all came and basically started saying stuff like “its in the family that one child is a failure” or “you know, someone has to get paid a minimum wage”. But not a single one came and supported me, all of them just went to my 20th birthday and started mocking me and making fun of me. I feel absolutely lost and without a purpose with no one to turn to. So I ended up here on the internet asking help from strangers.

I don’t understand it. My son is 10 years old, and to the outside world, he’s the sweetest, most polite kid ever. Teachers love him, other parents compliment me on how well-mannered he is, and whenever we go somewhere, he’s always the one saying “thank you” and “please” and acting like a perfect angel. But the second we’re alone, the second we get home and the door closes—it’s like he’s a completely different child. He snaps at me, rolls his eyes, sighs like everything I say is the most annoying thing in the world. I ask him to do something, and it’s “ugh, do I have to??” or “why can’t you do it yourself?” but if his teacher asks? Oh, he’s doing it without a problem. If his friend’s mom tells him something, he listens immediately. But me? The person who does everything for him? I get attitude. I get disrespect. And I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I try so hard to be patient, to not take it personally, but honestly? It hurts. I see the way he is with others, how easy it is for him to be kind and gentle with everyone except me, and I start questioning everything. Am I too strict? Too soft? Am I doing something that makes him resent me? I read all these articles saying “kids act out with their parents because they feel safe”, but I’m sorry, that doesn’t make it easier. Knowing that he trusts me enough to let out his emotions doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting when he rolls his eyes at me like I’m the most annoying person on earth. I know kids push boundaries with their parents, I get it. But when your own child treats strangers better than the person who loves him the most? It’s a different kind of pain. And it makes me scared, scared that one day, when he’s older, this won’t stop. That he’ll always see me as the one person he doesn’t have to be kind to.

I’ve tried talking to him about it. I’ve asked him why he acts this way, why he can be so good for everyone else but not for me. And every time, I get the same answer—"I don't know." Like, he genuinely doesn't think about it. It’s not like he’s making some big decision to treat me worse than everyone else, it just happens. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe he’s so used to me being here, being his person, the one who will love him no matter what, that he doesn’t feel like he has to be nice. But why does that make it okay? Why does unconditional love mean I have to be the emotional punching bag? I’m his mother, not his verbal stress ball.

I love my son more than anything, but some days, it’s hard not to feel unappreciated. Some days, I wish he could see how much effort I put in, how much I give to make sure he’s happy, safe, taken care of. I wish he would look at me the way he looks at his teachers, his friend’s parents, the nice lady at the grocery store. But most of all? I wish I knew that this is just a phase. That one day, he’ll realize how much I love him, how much I’ve done, and he’ll choose to be kind to me the same way he is to everyone else. Because right now? Right now, I feel like I’m giving my whole heart to someone who barely notices.

Today, I was doing my homework.

Let's take in account that in a few hours, I have to choose which options to take for the 2 years that will come in high school, tomorrow I have a test in math, a test in English, 1 presentation in Dutch over my origins, 1 presentation in History over France and its castles.

My father came back from work (at 16:00), he started talking to me nonstop and asking questions about my life, when It's clearly obvious I'm occupied. When he asked me another pointless question, I didn't hear it (since my sister was blasting music) so I responded with a "What?".

I suspect that my tone could've come off as rude, but I was annoyed and I yelled loudly 'cause my sister was BLASTING music.

He started screaming at me, telling me "What did you say to me?" as if he hadn't heard it. He was angry, again, because apparently, I'm always disrespectful and should respond with a "What did you say, sir?" when I just want to be left alone.

They're my parents, but they shouldn't be parents when they're clearly not ready. They know how to take care of kids because they take care of kids everyday! But they don't take care of their own because we're "grown up" (I'm 15). But when the timing is prefect, we're suddenly too "young" and we're wrong and they're "right".

To hell with parents.

When your child tells you about their trauma, their problems and open up to you, you shouldn't denigrate them, invalidate their feelings or START TALKING ABOUT HOW TIRED YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR WORK WHEN THEIR TRAUMA IS YOU.

Bro, I need to get outta here. Like, fr, the second I turn 18, I’m gone. I can’t take livin with my parents anymore, all the stupid rules, all the nagging, all the "under my roof, my rules" BS. Like, okay, I get it, I’m still a kid technically, but damn, let me breathe. Everytime I do anything, it's a problem. Why u always on ur phone? Why u sleep so late? Where u goin? Who u texting? Like, chill?? I just wanna live my own life without feelin like I gotta report my every move. And don’t even get me started on the whole “you’re not ready for the real world” speech. Like, okay?? And whose fault is that?? Maybe if they let me actually do stuff instead of controlling everything, I’d know how to handle myself. But nah, they just wanna keep me stuck here forever. Not happening.

Only problem is… I kinda have no clue how to actually move out. Like, I know I need money, that’s obv, but rent is stupid expensive, and I don’t even have a full-time job yet. Been tryna save from my part-time job, but bro, what’s that gonna get me? A month of rent maybe and then what? And then there’s bills, food, furniture—like, damn, why is existing so expensive?? I thought about gettin a roommate, but idk anyone tryna move out yet. Plus, I lowkey don’t wanna end up livin with some weirdo off the internet, but at this point, I might have to. I just need my own space. Even if it’s some tiny apartment, idc. Just as long as it’s mine. Cuz right now? I feel like I got zero freedom. Can’t go out late, can’t bring people over, can’t even eat what I want without my mom actin like I just committed a crime. Like damn, let me eat ramen at 2AM in peace.

So yeah, I know moving out won’t be easy. I know I’m probly gonna be broke for a while, probly gonna regret it the first time I gotta pay for toilet paper with my own money. But honestly? Still worth it. I’d rather struggle on my own than keep feeling like I’m trapped in a house that don’t even feel like mine. I just gotta figure out the money part, maybe get a second job, maybe find some cheap place in a bad neighborhood, idk. But I’ll figure it out. Cuz one thing I do know? I’m not stayin here any longer than I have to.

My parents are really too in my business, yet not enough.

They are such hypocrites, saying this and doing another, thinking it doesn't apply to them because they're adults.

One time, I didn't want to wear the dress my mother chose for me for a party and she slapped me, grabbed my hair, pulled me and told me to pack my things and get out (I was 14).

Today, my father asked me to put my creme on (bcs of my eczema), I put the recommended amount (and the amount said in the instructions) on and told me to put some more even though it could give me rashes and itchiness all week. He started yelling at me for being too "stupid", even though the instructions were in French, the doctor who gave me the instructions spoke French and guess what? The frigging pharmacy who gave me recommendations spoke French. HE DOESNT SPEAK FRENCH. My mother sided with him, like the "good wife" she is. They expect "respect" yet they aren't decent human beings.

I have good grades at school, not to please, but to have a good future and run away from home the minute I get a steady income. (I'm 15 btw).

My son’s father and I began dating in 2019. We were happy, no fights. I got pregnant and had our son in September of 2022. I broke up with him shortly after the birth because I didn’t want to raise two kids if I only gave birth to one. He’s a decent father, I can’t say that he doesn’t love our son and that he won’t do anything for him. My issue with him is his parenting style. He doesn’t really know what to do, and I can’t fault him for that because we’re both figuring things out as we go.

Our son lives with me full time. He has never had an overnight sleepover at his dad’s . I arrange all childcare while we work. I buy all of his clothes, food, diapers, arrange all play dates, doctors appointments, etc. I have the insurance, i paid for any and all cribs, pack n plays, car seats, etc. This isn’t to say that his dad isn’t supportive and won’t provide financially. I’m certain that if I asked, he would give (I just don’t ask). The problem is, he doesn’t think about any of this stuff. So why should I let him sleep over.

**Backstory** He lived with his parents when we were dating and just lived out last November. He never told me he moved. I found out because he posted something on social media and my brother privately texted me asking when he moved and I knew NOTHING about it. And I know there’s a new girlfriend in the mix that he’s probably living with because he accidentally called me her name when we were on a family ice cream date together. I’m not stupid, I can put two and two together.

Am I wrong for not allowing my two year old to not sleep over at his dad’s house when I don’t even know where he lives or who he’s living with?? (He did give me the address finally but I haven’t been over to check the place out).

There are different type of people. "My parents are divorced", "My parents are happily married". My parents SHOULD be divorced. I don't want them to get divorced, but at the same time, they're clearly not healthy for each other. They argue every day and their personalities don't match at all. Twenty five years of marriage, and they've never really loved each other. I think they both could be been happier in anther world, where they never met each other. My mum met someone she loved and married him in that universe. My dad never settled down and traveled the world. I was never born in that universe, but they're both happy that way. I love both of my parents and I want them to be happy. They bring out the worst in each other, and it's painful. I feel so afraid, because their moods become sour. If I mess up, my mum gets angry. If I get upset over her arguing, she tells me to not make it about myself. I'm not blaming her, because I know this could have been avoided if my mum was with someone else. I know they're only staying together "for the kids" (aka me and my siblings), but even their children can see how unhealthy this is. I can't tell them to divorce, neither can I mend their relationship. So I just have to live through it for a few more years. But I don't know how much more I can take.