Couple Stories

I’ve been married for five years, and for most of that time, it truly felt like I was living in a dream. We rarely fought, shared the same values, and were building a life together that felt stable, even joyful. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her.

But everything changed last year when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was aggressive. We tried everything — surgery, chemo, second opinions — but none of it helped. Now we’ve moved into palliative care. The focus is no longer on saving her, just on easing the pain.

A few weeks ago, she sat me down and told me something I wasn’t expecting. She said she had reconnected with her ex-boyfriend after her diagnosis. That at first, it was just talking — reminiscing, catching up — but over time, she realized she still had feelings for him. She told me she still loved me, but that she also loved him. And now, in what may be the final months of her life, she wanted to explore that connection again — not instead of me, but alongside me. She asked me to support her in it.

I asked if she had cheated, and she swore she hadn’t. She said it’s just been emotional, not physical. But I couldn’t shake what it meant. I tried to understand. I told her she was free to do what she wanted — I wouldn't make this any harder by talking about separation or divorce — but I also told her that I couldn’t keep pretending we were still the same couple. I couldn’t hold onto the version of us I thought was real, not with this hanging between us. Something had broken.

She was hurt, and I get why. She ended up going to stay with her parents. Since then, most of the people around me have turned cold. They see me as the one who walked away, the one who abandoned her when she needed support most. And maybe that’s true. Maybe I should’ve found a way to just accept it — to be there, unconditionally, knowing this is the end. But I couldn’t. I still can’t.

It's all coming apart, and it is my fault.

It's kinda funny when you're the only single dude in a sea of couples. Feels like I'm the odd man out. I'm 31, and while my mates are all wrapped up in their romantic dramas, I'm left watching from the sidelines. Never had a girlfriend, never been on a proper date. People look at me like I should be in some sort of crisis, but honestly, I'm just trying to figure out how to be okay with flying solo. Like, is there a manual for this? Society loves to shove the idea of love down our throats, but it's not like I'm missing a limb or something just because I'm not in love. They say everyone's journey is different, but when you're the last single soldier, you start questioning if their "journey" line is just a polite way to say, "Bro, you're screwed."

Now let's get real. Alone isn't the end of the world, though. There's this article I read once; author's name escapes me, but they mentioned how the ability to enjoy your own company is an underrated skill. So, I’m trying to hunt down that “enjoying-my-own-company” skill myself. They say solitude builds character or some crap like that. I mean, seriously, it’s not like I’m some antisocial weirdo. I've got my stuff sorted—job, hobbies, and a half-decent social life, but I’m missing that one box everyone else has ticked. You ever sit at a dinner table alone while everyone else is paired off? Doesn't it make you wanna scream, "What the hell went wrong, and where was I when everyone else was figuring out this relationship stuff?" 😤

The comparisons are a killer, though. Scrolling through Instagram, seeing my friends' bae-this and boo-that posts, sometimes I want to throw my phone into the ocean. But then there are days when I genuinely enjoy not having to answer to anyone. Personal anecdote: came back from a long shift once, made the world's nastiest greasy burger, plopped down to binge-watch Netflix for hours. My buddies couldn’t do that without getting an earful from their partners. Freedom is just a term thrown around, but for single guys like me, it's reality. Am I missing out on romantic getaways and couple goals, or am I living my best life without any chains? There's no bias here; just facts about different lifestyles.

Still, there’s this nagging feeling sometimes. Wondering if maybe, just maybe, something's wrong with me. I know it’s dumb as hell, but I can’t shake it off. It’s like this internal battle of wanting what they have but not fully committing to it. Healthy? Debatable; Necessary? Might just be. But these feelings of doubt and solitude are part of the human experience, or so the self-help books keep saying. I’m not searching for sympathy or solutions; just venting out loud, trying to find my footing on this solo adventure. So, dear reader, if you’ve got the magic formula for being cool with solitude, I’m all ears. Or perhaps we're in the same boat, navigating through this solo life without a compass but making the most of what we’ve got.

so here I am, lying in bed again. 31 years old, male, and feeling like there's this weight on my chest that I can't shake off. my wife, bless her, keeps telling me to do something, anything really, instead of just staring at the ceiling. i just don't know if it's depression, or maybe i'm just stuck in this rut that's swallowing me whole. it feels like I'm trapped in this cycle of inertia, where motivation is a foreign concept and every day blends into the next without much differentiation. i wonder if it's normal to feel like this at my age? am I supposed to have it all figured out by now, or is everyone just pretending they've got their lives in order? the truth is, all I want to do is stay under these covers where it's safe and predictable. getting out of bed feels like scaling mount Everest minus the accomplishment. everything seems so incredibly daunting and exhausting even before the day begins.

i'm aware that i should probably listen to my wife; everyone says communication and action are key, but how do you act when you can't even muster the strength to care? it's like the more I think about doing something productive, the more drained I feel. the thought of tackling even the simplest task is paralyzing, and it's terrifying because it makes me question my capability as an adult; am i alone in this feeling, or is this a phase everyone goes through? should I worry about being present for responsibilities outside this room, or is it okay to take some time to figure things out? it's not that i don't want to improve, it's more that i can't envision what improvement looks like right now. why does it feel like i'm constantly fighting a battle against myself, and losing horribly? sometimes it's hard to distinguish whether this is just a temporary funk or if it's the prelude to something more concerning. does it get better with time, or does it require a drastic intervention to change? emojis don't usually cut it, but right now, i just feel like this 😞.

I keep replaying the moment in my head—when i told her i wanted a divorce. after twenty years of marriage, saying those words felt like ripping out part of myself, but staying had become a different kind of slow death. she’s not well, her health is fragile, and that’s what makes it all so much harder. i’m not heartless. i still care. but i was living with someone who chipped away at my dignity for years. disrespect doesn’t show up all at once; it creeps in slowly. a condescending remark here, a dismissive gesture there, and before you know it, you’re invisible in your own life. i tried. really. therapy, talks, compromises that only I kept. and when i finally realized that no amount of loyalty would bring back the man i used to be, i chose to leave. but how do you stop the guilt when someone you leave behind is struggling physically? it’s not a movie with a clean ending, it’s more like walking out of a burning house that still has someone you once loved trapped inside. except that person won’t take your hand even when you reach back;

some people tell me, “you did the right thing,” others ask, “how could you leave her now?” and i honestly don’t have a satisfying answer to either. the guilt isn’t just about her condition—it’s about the idea that maybe i should’ve been stronger, more forgiving, more patient. maybe i failed some unspoken moral test. yet at the same time, don’t i have the right to protect myself too? we don’t talk about that enough—how emotional erosion can kill you just as surely as illness. i wasn’t trying to escape responsibility. i was trying to escape becoming a bitter, hollow version of myself. but now, every time someone says her name or i hear that she's been in and out of the doctor’s office again, it hits me like a sucker punch. do i reach out? would that help her—or just help me feel better? is guilt something that fades with time, or something you carry like a scar?

i guess what i really want to ask is—how do you know when you’ve done enough? when does choosing yourself stop feeling like abandonment? i read somewhere that “self-respect is the fruit of discipline,” and i’m trying to believe that choosing to walk away was an act of discipline, not betrayal. but most days, the line is blurry as hell. i keep showing up for work, paying the bills, calling our grown kids, pretending like everything is fine. but underneath, it’s like dragging a bag of wet cement everywhere i go. maybe guilt isn’t something to get rid of. maybe it’s just proof that you still give a damn. but it’d be nice if it didn’t show up every time i sit alone in a quiet room. so yeah—if you’ve ever had to choose between staying loyal and staying alive inside, how did you stop feeling like the villain in your own story?

So around last December, me and a friend were sitting around a fire and the fire wouldn't stay lit so we decided to go to a bar. Well, I didn't feel like changing clothes bc I was comfortable, and it was cold asf. So I went out wearing my plush pajama pants and a Columbia fleece jacket which probably wasnt the best idea😂 well we got too the bar and we were playing pool and my buddy bumped into this dude behind us, and when he did it made the guy miss his shot. So the dude was not happy at all he turned around and pushed my buddy. So being the friend that I am I walked up and pushed this guy too the ground, and when I did one of his buddies came up behind me and uppercutted and grabbed and was squeezing tff out of my balls all at the same time. Until I went to my knees and when I got down to his level I remember him saying in my ear while still squeezing and twisting my balls "oh your boys are nice and fuzzy".Which i mean the pants are soft asff but there were so many people around. Including girls lol that heard that, and it was humiliating. I couldn't do anything but hold my inner thigh and hoped he let go. Well, it went on for about 30 more seconds. That's when i felt something pop and he let go. I instantly got to my feet, limping but walking. My buddy helped me walk out of the bar. I remember being sore and not being able to close my legs for a week. My gf still doesn't know about anything when she asked me what was wrong. I just told her I rolled my ankle bc she kept asking why I was limping. What would be a good way to tell her about this embarrassing situation?

it’s been eating at me for years now, this thing i carry around, like a rotting piece of fruit in my pocket—i can’t just throw it away, but damn if it doesn’t stink up everything. i cheated. not once. not even just a fling that came and went. multiple times, over the years, with different women, for different reasons, and none of them were good enough. i never told her. my wife, the one who still looks at me like i’m the guy she married twenty years ago. the guilt didn’t hit right away; it crept in slow, like fog rolling over a field, and now i can barely see who i am anymore. forgiveness feels like a word other people get to use, not me. i tried everything—therapy, journaling, praying (and i’m not even religious), but none of it sticks because the truth is still there, hidden and heavy. i know people say “forgive yourself or it’ll eat you alive,” but they never talk about how to do it when the person you hurt doesn’t even know they were hurt. is it even forgiveness if there’s no accountability? or is it just denial dressed up as healing? i don’t want to confess just to ease my own conscience, that feels selfish. but doing nothing, pretending i can move forward while dragging this corpse of a past behind me, doesn’t work either.

i keep asking myself, “what would i tell someone else in my position?” i’d probably say, “you’re not the worst thing you’ve done.” but when it’s you, when you look in the mirror and you see the choices etched into your face, that’s a whole other story. i’m trying to show up every day as a better man. i do the chores without being asked, i actually listen when she talks, i plan date nights—stupid little things that don’t erase the past but might just build something better today. but it’s not really for her; it’s for me, trying to prove i’m not a total piece of shit. the worst part is knowing she might never find out, and if she did, it would destroy everything we built. i don’t want to confess just to clean my soul at the cost of her peace. so where does that leave me? stuck in this weird middle ground between shame and pretending. it’s like trying to fix a leak with duct tape—you know it’s not gonna last, but you keep using it anyway. sometimes i wish she would find out on her own, just so the weight would fall off me without having to make the choice; that’s cowardly, i know. but feelings aren’t always noble. “we are more often treacherous through weakness than through calculation,” montesquieu said. maybe that’s me. maybe that’s all of us. 🥀

My bf: I don't want to go canoeing with you. It sounds like work, and I'm too busy anyway! Now here's something really fun, how about your drive me to my friend's daughter's who you've met 3 times's high school graduation and accompany me at her graduation party for 8 hours? Oh, and no drinking because you're the driver! Doesn't that sound like fun and not work?

Hey everyone, it's my first time here (or any of these kinds of app/website for that matter, so sorry if I'm breaking any formatting or rules) and I just want to share my story anonymously with strangers as I don't want to share anything with any of my friend group as I don't want them to think bad of my ex-fiancée.

I'm in my early 30s and my ex-fiancée a couple years younger, and we met about 6 years ago. It was on a night out in the city that a mutual acquaintance introduced us. We instantly clicked and started dating a few weeks after. Since a majority of our values and goals in life aligned with one another's back then, we were so happy and though we finally found each other's "the one".

Of course a relationship isn't all ups, occasionally we would have a fight regarding what is expected of the other party since we are both working professionals and felt like we were not prioritizing our partnership enough. They are nothing we can't resolve though, we always talked it out coming up with a compromise. Although now it feels like this was a mistake since compromises aren't enough and we are not getting our needs and wants fulfilled with it. Regardless of this, am I wrong in assuming that with these setbacks, with love we were still supposed to choose each other right?

Over the years we have built plans for the future and have actively been working on them, getting engaged just early this year. We were also just about to purchase a house, but yeah my company suddenly had a round of mass layoffs and I was impacted. It's pretty hard to get a job at this time of the year in tech, with the sparse amount of openings and fierce competition. I felt like this was one of the lowest periods of my life so I sort of withdrew from everything. I even shut off my ex-fiancée as I didn't want to bother her with personal issues that she couldn't do anything about.

I guess this was her tipping point, I didn't see that her wanting to go to places which are expensive for my taste or even go on a full week vacation was her way to bid for connection, get me on my feet, telling me that it's okay to delay our plans for a bit, and fulfill her needs in one goal. I saw it as she just being financially irresponsible and unintentionally setting back our years of hard work, so I always flat out rejected her invites, intending to only use our savings for necessities and not for leisure just so we would still have enough when going to buy properties again.

She cheated on me with someone she met on the vacation she went to alone. I was devastated, it made me realize how much I was lacking. How much I didn't fulfill what she actually wants. I knew this because she was the one who confessed it to me as she cannot handle her guilt/conscience. I immediately forgave her but yeah we both can't see being with each other anymore because of this.

It feels weird that I'm not feeling any anger, just sadness. Just emptiness. We officially broke up, and now I don't know what to do anymore moving forward since I dedicated a large portion of my recent years working towards a future that never will be. I might heal, but I feel that I can never love or trust anyone again. I hate this.

Being married to someone with ADHD is a bit like managing a never-ending whirlwind... 🤯 I'm a 39-year-old male, and let me tell you, the struggle is real! Balancing a marriage where spontaneity and disorganization reign supreme sometimes feels like a Herculean task. Words like "executive dysfunction" and "time blindness" have become part of my daily vocabulary. My vows did not include being an impromptu project manager, yet here I am, juggling schedules, managing chaos, and frequently playing the diplomat in our otherwise harmonious union.

One day blends into another, all marked by last-minute schedule changes and unexpected curveballs. I've read countless articles, promising that understanding is the key, "knowledge reduces frustration." While I do make an effort to empathize and educate myself, there are days when the constant unpredictability becomes overwhelming. Who knew that even planning a simple dinner could devolve into a logistical nightmare? 🍛 As much as I love spontaneity in small doses, I am not exactly a fan of daily surprises that involve lost keys, missed appointments, or urgent late-night runs to the store because we ran out of toothpaste (again).

Despite it all, I commend my spouse for their efforts to work with their ADHD and seek help where needed. Together, we have implemented what I like to refer to as "behavioral scaffolding”—strategies meant to curb chaos, such as color-coded calendars, digital reminders, and whispered daily affirmations of patience. On most days, these measures improve both our lives, but on others, they feel like mere Band-Aids, barely holding back the floodwaters. Have you ever heard the saying, "the straw that broke the camel's back"? Well, it feels like I'm constantly searching for new ways to reinforce the camel.

In the end, I don't want anyone to think it's all bad. We have our moments of brilliant clarity and profound connection. Thanks to ADHD, love is never boring! However, dealing with it requires understanding, patience, and, dare I say, a touch of humor. 😂 It is important to remember that what we deal with is not our significant other's personality, but a condition they did not wish for. Would you agree that the spontaneity, only manageable with communication, sometimes also breathes life into mundane routines? Nonetheless, I hope sharing this has lifted some weight off my chest. If you're sailing a similar boat, remember: you're not alone. Stay strong, stay patient, and find joy in small victories.

My boyfriend has been going through his hardest times, he lost his brother by a car accident, and he lost track of the criminal he was chasing after for more than a year, furthermore he was standing at the edge of the rooftop yesterday night— I swear I knew what that dark look on his face meant

In fact I was dumb enough to get rings already :(

But should I propose now with that high risk of getting rejected or should I wait until next year or whenever he feels better? Because I’m sure if I propose to him now, he’s going to throw dishes at me and shout at me so that he can feel better, and trust me I’m not in a toxic relationship…

So a few months ago, my boyfriend found out about his younger brother’s cancer which was already at level four :(

He’s just depressed and trying to earn as much as possible for the surgery fees and he’s just different

He talked less and he touches grass less

How do u cheer him up? Even the doctors said that his beloved brother won’t make jt out alive unless he receives a heart donation

so... my wife of 25 years suddenly tells me she wants to see other people.... now, i ain't saying i'm the most open-minded guy on the planet, but this really left me scrambling for answers. i mean, after a quarter of a century of marriage, are we really doing this? is sharing my wife something i should even consider? i'm a guy who appreciates loyalty and commitment, you know? i always thought those things were the bedrock of our relationship. we were the couple who finished each other's sentences and could talk without speaking a word. now i find myself wondering if all those moments meant the same to her as they did to me. she tells me she still loves me, that this isn't about replacing me, just about exploring new experiences. but let's be real, how am i supposed to process that? is it unreasonable of me to expect exclusivity in a marriage? am i being too old-school here? now, i'm no prude, and i know times are changing, but this kind of feels like exploring new territories when i'm comfortable where i've been planting my roots. i find myself asking if sharing my spouse is really something people do in a healthy relationship. i guess it's a matter of perspective, right? i've read about open relationships, and some people swear by them, saying it brings them closer and all that jazz. but let's be straight here: sharing your partner ain't everyone's cup of tea. there’s an insecurity that bubbles up just thinking about it. like, how does a guy not worry about being pushed aside or becoming the plan b? talking to some buddies about this hasn't exactly put my mind at ease either. one of them said, "dude, if it makes her happy, maybe it's worth considering." sure, i get that making your partner happy is important, but what about my happiness? is it selfish of me to feel anxious and uncomfortable with the idea that she might find something - or someone - better? and then, what about trust? sharing her means putting a helluva lot of trust out there. what if trust turns into jealousy? can our marriage handle that test? then i think about all the years we've spent building a family, raising kids, and i wonder what it says to them if we embark on this route. is it saying, "hey, devotion isn't that big of a deal after all?" maybe i'm overthinking it, but what message does that send? it’s just that the thought of her with someone else—it’s unnerving. i always figured marriage was a two-person gig. so, am i wrong for feeling territorial about my wife? i thought we signed up for a lifetime of commitment, not a lease with renewal options. perhaps i'm just trying to hold onto a notion that time and society have evolved beyond. i still don't know if i have the emotional bandwidth to share her affection. so, i'm reaching out into the anonymous void looking for advice or perspective. how do i get my head around this without losing it? i mean, i wouldn't mind hearing some realistic takes or personal stories from anyone who's been down this road. have you ever been asked to share something you couldn't quite let go of? not sure where this will lead, but it’s a conversation i can't have with her just yet. life at 52 sure is throwing its challenges, and maybe it's just another lesson i'll look back on someday. but for now, anyone willing to share their two cents?

Its about my boyfriend. I dont want to talk bad about them because they're dealing with some stuff mentally and emotionally, mostly anxious problems. But I just hate hate it when I spend an hour waiting for him. I would be ok if the cafe was a one off thing but no. We've had multiple dates where I waited for him for an hour or almost an hour. Its not like I go on time sometimes, even I am late on the agreed time, mostly 5-10 minutes late because I really dont like making people wait for me. but when I get there he isn't there yet.

Its just... Once I managed to wait an hour on the mall we agreed to go to, walk all the way to his home, its quite close maybe 10-15 minutes with the pace I was going, and wait for more time before I even saw him get out of his house hair wet from shower. I understand he also has chores but that was just ridiculous.

But since my parents dont really know about us.. I always had to be creative and set time that wont be too late or too early, reasoning it as me needing to buy something for school, so the time is even more needed to be followed if you get me. His parents also dont know so we usually agree on a set time the day before. Rarely we agree on hanging out on the same day but when we do ita usually atleast 3hrs before..

But really I should've known better after dating him for almost 3 years now. He's the type to be late even on our own graduation, he barely made it with his mom before his name was called.

What's more upsetting about the cafe this is that its currently summer, that means I don't even have that much excuses to go out because I dont have projects to buy supplies for or no study groups to go to. We had a meeting for our school's journalism club for some reason which was, although cancelled, was a good excuse to leave the house.

I just feel like I should be more understanding but it's really upsetting checking my phone every five minutes for a text that says he'd be late or something. Sometimes I even get worried he wont show up at all.

man, life can really throw you a curveball sometimes. i'm 41, a guy who's been through a lot, but this? this takes the cake. just found out my wife’s been playing the field. yep, she had the ol’ side dish while i was none the wiser. and now? now she’s saying it was a mistake, that she wants to cut it out and make things right with me. she says she loves me and wants to spend forever with me. like, what am I supposed to do with that?! it’s hard to swallow, you know?

she claims she’s all ready to ditch her little joyride and focus on us, make things all sunshine and rainbows again. 🤷‍♂️ but, like, do I just go along with it? is it really as easy as forgive and forget or am i just fooling myself here? i'm over here like, yeah, it’s great you wanna do right by me, but does that mean i’m supposed to just forget the whole shebang? i mean, are we just gonna snap our fingers and poof, history’s rewritten? seems too good to be true, doesn’t it? like, who’s got the magic wand in this scenario? not me, that’s for sure. 🙄

let’s be real, trusting someone after they’ve done the dirty isn’t just an automatic function. no magic switch to flip. 🕵️‍♂️ it’s like i’m caught in this cycle of disbelief, anger, and just plain confusion. and, honestly, i'm a little torn on whether to think she’s genuinely sorry or if she's just scared of being alone. this whole thing's bonkers, right? and if i decide to roll with the punches, what happens next? is there some secret sauce i’m missing out on? i’m 41, not 21, i've pit stops in life, know what i mean?

someone tell me, is forgiving the same as forgetting? can you really split them apart like some happy divorce, leaving one behind while the other seamlessly takes over? ❤️ someone over here probably just thinks i’m overthinking it, but isn’t that part of the gig when you get burned? it’s not like you accidentally spill coffee on your shirt and brush it off. it's deeper than that. but here we are, with her wanting a reset and me caught between two minds. what would you do? what’s the next move when the love of your life drops a bomb this big?

so, there it is. the million-dollar question. do i forgive and forget, slap a bandaid on it and move on? or am i setting myself up for a rerun of heartache? does loyalty outweigh mistakes? it’s not a black-and-white scenario, folks. 😤 there’s a lotta gray zones up in here, and i’m just trying to find my way without turning into an emotional wreck. her words are nice and all, but where’s the guarantee? i mean, do guarantees even exist here or is this all just a gamble? i guess time will tell, huh? but in the meantime, i'm just here, weighing my options, trying not to lose my mind.

My boyfriend asked for a break recently, but its not the mutual type of breaks. He never listens and never puts in consideration MY own feelings. He hurts alot sometimes but I really love him and dont want to lose him. My lifes bullshit