Anonymous venting

I don’t even know where to start. For as long as I can remember, there’s been this feeling deep inside me, a constant whisper that I’m not good enough. Every day, I ask myself, why do I hate myself so much? And every day, I come up empty. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop, and I can’t figure out how to break free.

The crazy part is, from the outside, you’d probably think my life is fine. I have a decent job, supportive friends, and a family that loves me. But none of that seems to matter when the voice in my head tells me over and over that I’m a failure. It’s not like I choose to feel this way—it’s just there, like a shadow I can’t escape.

For me, the self-hate started small. I’d beat myself up over little things, like saying something awkward in a conversation or getting a bad grade in school. Back then, I thought everyone did that. But over time, those thoughts got louder, and now it feels like they’re all I can hear. No matter what I do, I’m constantly second-guessing myself. Did I handle that situation right? Did I offend someone without realizing it? Am I even worth anyone’s time?

Social situations are the worst. I’ll be in a group, and instead of enjoying the moment, I’m obsessing over whether people actually like me. I’ll replay conversations in my head for days, analyzing every word I said and convincing myself I sounded stupid or needy. The worst part is, even when people tell me I’m fine or that I’m overthinking, I don’t believe them. It’s like my brain won’t let me accept anything positive about myself.

And don’t even get me started on my appearance. Some days, I can barely look in the mirror. I pick apart every flaw, every imperfection, and wonder how anyone could find me attractive. I know it’s unhealthy, but it feels impossible to stop. Social media doesn’t help either. I’ll scroll through Instagram and see all these perfect people with perfect lives, and it just makes me feel worse. I know it’s fake, but it still gets to me.

At work, it’s the same story. I could spend hours on a project, pouring everything I have into it, but as soon as I hand it in, all I can think about are the mistakes I might have made. Even when I get good feedback, it doesn’t stick. Instead, I focus on the one piece of criticism or the one thing I think I could’ve done better. It’s exhausting.

The thing is, I don’t even know where this self-hate comes from. I didn’t have a traumatic childhood. My parents were strict, sure, but they loved me and did their best. So why do I hate myself? Why can’t I shake this feeling that I’m not enough, no matter what I do?

I’ve tried all the usual advice—positive affirmations, journaling, even therapy. And while those things help in the moment, the feeling always comes back. It’s like there’s this wall between me and actually believing anything good about myself. I’ll write down things I’m proud of or things I’ve achieved, but they always feel small compared to the weight of everything I think I’ve failed at.

One of the hardest parts is how isolating it feels. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way—there are forums and articles and videos about it—but in my daily life, it’s hard to imagine anyone else struggling like this. Everyone around me seems so confident, so sure of themselves. Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to make it through the day without falling apart.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever feel differently. Will there ever be a day where I wake up and don’t feel this weight on my chest? Or is this just who I am—a person who’s destined to hate themselves no matter what? I want to believe that things can change, but honestly, I don’t know how to get there.

If you’re reading this and you’ve felt the same way, I wish I had answers for you. I wish I could tell you how to stop feeling this way, but I’m still trying to figure it out myself. All I can say is, you’re not alone. And maybe that’s the first step—just admitting that we’re struggling and trying to find a way forward, even if it’s messy and imperfect.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for now, I’m just trying to hold on to the hope that it doesn’t have to be like this forever. Maybe there’s a way to break free from this cycle. Maybe one day, I’ll look in the mirror and see someone worth loving. Until then, I’ll keep asking the question, why do I hate myself?—and maybe, just maybe, I’ll find an answer that helps me heal.

My spouse, Michael, and I cherish a petite yet profoundly significant ritual that blooms each year since we exchanged vows. The essence of this tradition isn't elaborate but holds immense significance in my heart. Each November, specifically on the weekend preceding Thanksgiving, we embark on a serene journey to a quaint town nestled by a lake, merely an hour's drive away. This tranquil outing involves leisurely strolls, heartfelt conversations, and the selection of a unique Christmas ornament. This ornament, tenderly chosen, symbolizes the essence of our year together. It’s a modest day out, yet it profoundly enriches our festive season.

Michael recently befriended a man at his gym named Jake. Their friendship flourished quickly which I think is wonderful, as Michael often shies from forming new friendships. Jake, a hiking and gaming enthusiast, shares numerous interests with Michael, making their bond even more special.

However, a predicament arose when Jake invited Michael for a weekend getaway, coincidentally planned for the same weekend as our cherished tradition. Michael approached me somewhat reluctantly about possibly rescheduling our annual trip so he could join his friend. I was taken aback at first; the thought that he would consider altering our plans wounded me slightly. Michael argued, perhaps sensibly, that changing the date wouldn’t impose any logistical issues.

Despite understanding his point, I couldn’t mask my dismay. This tradition is our sacred communion—a token of our shared life that perhaps holds more esteem in my heart than his. On expressing this, Michael seemed both taken aback and slightly agitated, insinuating that I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

After a brief discussion, Michael agreed to maintain our planned tradition, although I could sense his disappointment, which inadvertently filled me with guilt. Now, wracked with doubt, I ponder if my insistence on maintaining our ritual, pivotal as it may seem to me, is an overindulgence on my part.

Suppose this scenario played out in a reality show setting, the audience might revel in the drama, eagerly awaiting my reaction or criticizing my insistence on tradition. The appealing appeal of reality TV often lies in observing how individuals navigate personal conflicts under the public's scrutinizing gaze. Would viewers champion my dedication to tradition, or would they perceive me as overly rigid and unsupportive of Michael’s new friendship?

Am I unreasonable for wanting our tradition to take precedence over his new friend?

This is probably going to be my final post anyway let me get into it.( for my context check my last post) Currently I’m just in the idgaf stage Ive truly lost pretty much lost a lot of hope almost all of it. I’m also just at the point where I don’t care to get better, I don’t want to get better, and I don’t want better for myself. I’m considering distancing myself from everyone(including friends,family, even teachers) and potentially cut off people as a whole. I’m also going to refrain from making new friends and telling people how I feel period it’s no one’s business. Honestly my plan going forward Is to just turn myself in and do my time and then after I finish my time I’ll kill myself. And my goal for being an astronomer is most likely dead at this point I’ll probably be dead before then and not do I really want to put in the effort to achieve it and improve my math skills so basically I’ve given up on it and to be honest it’s upsetting to think about. I’m also pretty apathetic and resistant to the idea of therapy now I’ve accepted that I don’t want to get better and it would be a waste of money for my family members to even pay for it because I wouldn’t cooperate and I would be hard to work with and it would also be a waste of time for the therapist. Anyway that’s all I wanted to say and I appreciate those who gave me support on my last post.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself a question I can’t seem to answer: why do I hate myself? It’s not like I want to feel this way, but it’s there, lingering in the background every single day. No matter what I do, that voice in my head keeps reminding me of every mistake, every failure, and every reason I’m just not good enough.

It’s not like there’s one big thing that happened to make me feel this way. It’s more like a build-up of little things over time. I’ve always been my own worst critic. If I mess something up at work, I can’t just move on—I replay it in my head over and over, thinking about what I should’ve done differently. Even when people tell me I’m doing fine, I don’t believe them. It’s like they’re just being polite, and deep down, they see the same flaws I do.

Socially, it’s even worse. I overthink EVERTHING. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I come across as weird or annoying? I avoid hanging out with friends sometimes because I’m convinced they secretly don’t want me around. And don’t even get me started on dating—I can barely look in the mirror without picking myself apart, so how could anyone else see me differently?

The worst part is, I can’t pinpoint why I feel like this. On paper, my life isn’t bad. I have a decent job, a roof over my head, and people who care about me. But none of that seems to matter when I’m stuck in my own head. I’ll wake up some mornings feeling like today might be different, but by the end of the day, that familiar feeling is back, telling me I’m not enough.

I’ve tried to talk myself out of it. I’ll make lists of the things I’m good at or the things I’ve accomplished, but it never feels real. It’s like there’s this wall between me and believing anything positive about myself. Instead, I focus on everything I’ve failed at—friendships I’ve lost, goals I didn’t achieve, and all the ways I feel like I’ve let people down.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is just how it’s always going to be. Maybe I’m wired to think like this, and no amount of self-help books or therapy will change it. But I don’t want to give up on myself completely. There’s a small part of me that hopes it doesn’t have to be this way forever.

If anyone else has felt like this, how do you get through it? How do you silence that voice in your head that’s always telling you you’re not good enough? I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, but it’s hard not to feel isolated when you’re stuck in your own thoughts.

Writing this down feels strange, like I’m admitting something I’ve been trying to hide for years. But maybe sharing it will help, even if it’s just a little. If someone out there has an answer to the question, “Why do I hate myself?” I’d love to hear it. Because right now, I just want to believe there’s a way to feel okay again.

I never thought I’d end up here, but here I am, dreading every single morning when my alarm goes off. I hate my job. There, I said it. I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just a phase, that everyone feels like this sometimes, but it’s been almost a year, and nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

The work itself isn’t even that bad. I mean, it’s not what I’m passionate about, but it’s tolerable. The real problem is the people. My boss is one of those micro-managers who has to be involved in every tiny detail. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’ll spend hours on a project, only for them to nitpick and make me redo the whole thing for no real reason. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like all my effort is pointless.

Then there’s the office culture—or lack of it. Nobody talks to each other unless it’s about work. Lunch breaks feel like detention, with everyone silently eating at their desks or scrolling through their phones. I tried to make friends when I first started, but everyone already seemed to have their little cliques. After a while, I just gave up.

What really gets to me, though, is the constant pressure. It’s like they expect us to give 110% all the time, but they don’t give anything back. Overtime is practically mandatory, but don’t expect a “thank you” or even acknowledgment for staying late. And forget about a raise or promotion—that’s a pipe dream. It’s hard not to feel bitter when you’re working so hard and getting nothing in return.

I keep telling myself I should just quit, but it’s not that simple. I’ve got bills to pay, and the job market isn’t exactly booming right now. Plus, there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps asking, “What if the next job is just as bad—or worse?” It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where I hate my job, but I’m too scared to leave.

Even at home, I can’t seem to escape it. I’m constantly checking emails or stressing about the next deadline. It’s like my job has taken over my entire life, and I don’t know how to take it back. My family keeps telling me to just hang in there, but they don’t understand how draining it is. By the end of the day, I’m too tired to even think about applying for other jobs, let alone pursuing something I actually enjoy.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. Or maybe I’m being ungrateful because at least I have a job. But then I think about how miserable I am, and I can’t help but feel like there has to be more to life than this. Doesn’t there?

If anyone else feels this way, I’d love to know how you’re coping—or if you’ve managed to get out, how did you do it? Right now, I just feel stuck, and honestly, it’s hard to see a way forward. All I know is, I can’t keep living like this. Something’s gotta give.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.

I have a big family that’s incredibly close. We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great grandfather's estate and eat together. Typically, how this works is that the women go cook for the time they’re there and the men don’t, which I am fully aware is sexist as hell. That being said, I am one of the youngest people in the family and my protests mean literally nothing.

Some of those women choose not to cook; however, this is usually met with a level of ostracizing. The women who don’t cook are wives and long-term girlfriends, so they kinda already have a good family relationship established. When I have seen new partners not cook, it’s gone bad. Like completely ostracized, not speaking, cattiness, rudeness, etc.

This dinner will be in two weeks and my girlfriend was asked if she would attend. Initially, she said yes, which is great. I want for her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around, but when I explained to her the tradition, she was understandably bothered.

I told her that I understood where she was coming from; however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn’t a permanent thing and that I am only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family. This is her first impression and I don’t think it’s best if we cause waves.

She told me that it’s unacceptable and that if she has to do that, she will not be going. I’ve tried to find a compromise with her on this, but she won’t budge and she’s pissed at me. She told me that if I think it’s acceptable to make her do this, I’m just as bad as everyone else, while my point is that she needs to make a good first impression.

Imagine if this was a reality show. How do you think my family and my girlfriend's reactions would play out on TV? Would the audience side with me, understanding the family dynamics, or would they see me as a villain for pushing her into such a sexist tradition?

I have two kids with my wife. When they were young, my parents generously set up education funds for both of them.

My wife and I always expected our kids to go to college and then grad school, just like we did. I have a PhD and my wife has a master’s degree. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for their undergrad degrees and didn’t tell them about the money.

My daughter has always been into liberal arts, while my son is more of a STEM guy. We worried about her job prospects, but she insisted on studying music and film in college. She got into some top schools and chose an expensive one, but she had scholarships covering almost all tuition. Everything else, plus living expenses, was her responsibility. She lived in a tiny apartment shared with friends in a rough area far from campus, but she managed and learned to budget effectively. After graduating, she found a job she enjoys, though it doesn’t pay much, and gave up on grad school.

My son decided on engineering and also didn’t want to go to grad school. We were disappointed but accepted it since he’s lined up for a great job after school. He didn’t get as many scholarships as his sister, so we used his education fund for his tuition and living expenses. He got a large, nice apartment close to school, which is important given his demanding classes.

My daughter was confused about how he could afford this and he told her about the education fund. She called us, upset, asking why she didn’t get one. We told her she did, but we saved it hoping she’d go to grad school. She seemed hurt and asked if she could have the money now. We explained there’d be a fee to withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we did that, it would go back to her grandparents for their use. Since then, she’s been short in her texts and hasn’t answered our calls. I know it seems unfair to her, but it’s not really her money and she’s not in college anymore. Her brother got it for educational purposes only. Am I wrong?

How would people react if this situation was on a reality show? Would viewers side with my daughter or understand my perspective and the importance of using the funds as intended?

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

My Partner and I Disagreed About Our House Renovation Project

So my partner and I disagreed about me asking him to take time off for our house renovation project. I suggested he use some of his holiday for a garden project so we could get a big proportion of it done in one go. He said no, his holiday was his time to do what he wanted and it wasn't fair for me to ask him to use it for the house renovations as he has less holidays than me. I said maybe he could just use 1 or 2 days and he said he would not compromise on this and wanted to do the project over several weekends instead.

As I have school holidays off, I said I would not be comprising either and would be getting the work done in my holidays and not just on the weekends as I wanted it to be done sooner.

He said that was not fair as he wanted to be just as involved in the project as me and accused me of threatening to do the work without him and not respecting his choice to save his holidays for things he likes doing more. He also said I could do other projects to which I replied that I just end up doing the rubbish jobs that he doesn't want to do because I have more holidays than him.

If we were in a reality show, I wonder how people would react to this situation. Would they side with me, or would they think I'm being unreasonable? It's so easy for others to judge when they're not in the same position.