Anonymous Venting for Mental Health and Emotional Support

Because of my low self esteem, I went on a chatting website and made my pfp a picture that showed off my body to get compliments from guys so that I could feel better about myself. I ended up going a bit too far with this one guy and sent him an exposed picture of me. I feel guilt and worse than before.

this feels so heavy to write out but for once I wanna feel free. I regret having a boyfriend i regret going to his place I regret that we saw each other naked. im grateful for myself that I never gave my v card but I regret everything that happened. that is not me that is not my life I don't enjoy doing sexual things but I did just to keep him thinking he was the one ( first bf). the worst thing is when I remember my mom calling to ask if I arrived safely to my friend's house when in fact I was at his. that was so so so bad of me. I despise him for trying so hard but I despise myself even more.. I pray I pay back every bad thing I did with him.. one thing I know is that I will never do that again.. no point in lustful 2 min time. a perfect relationship for me would be a nice tall boyfriend whom I could go on fun little side quest with someone who I can vent to and someone that will love me wholeheartedly without any bad intentions.... sigh

may every good thing forgive me for these times as I am to ashamed to ask to God for forgiveness.

I'm pissed beyond words on how to describe my feelings on Amalya, Sanvi R., and Angelina. I'm mad and feel them inconsiderate, rude, selfish, arrogant, cocky. and I'm masking it. I want to punch a wall to make myself feel pain and not that anymore (not self harm). Damn them. WHY am I like this. A person who can't handle their own emotions and think they're helpful to others. What the fuck is my mindset. It was in gaga ball. I said that Nishank wasn't out and the others said that he was. The girls then just said "You're just mad you got out" like... what the actual literal piece of shit. You're just a bitch, bastard and someone who needs to be humbled. Sanvi R was so shy, and now she's so fucking mean. Where did it come from. OH WAIT! I know... IT WAS THOSE FUCKING GIRLS. Even Deetya doesn't make me feel that anymore. In fact, she never made me feel that deep. And all those fuck ass girls are going to say is "You're overreacting" and when I walk in the hallways, I know they're going to talk shit about me behind my back. I'd rather not deal with this shit, but I can't handle it. I was actually punching a wall just to silence my pain mentally and emotionally. And that smug grin on Sanvi R's face. Damn her. Damn them. And worst, I know later, I'm going to blame myself for it. It'll make me insecure, upset at myself. Question Who I am and what I am. I hope high school never brings me this. Shit... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

In case you don't get it, that's me being pissed, upset, unsure and doubting my life and whether I should live and then I'm masking it because I know that others will just ask "are you okay" and I know I'm not, but no one understands you more than your emotions. Not even yourself—your emotions. You may say you don't feel bad, but your emotions know what you truly mean.

So what happened was he gave me task and because of a slight missunderstanding he started to taunt me by words like you dont know this or that but when i looked into the matter it was that he said the wrong thing and i was like raging because it was his fault but then at night i went to return his money and we started to talk again about that thing but this time i was so into like proving myself right i did some simple calculation wrong and i was so sure that i made him agree and he did even if it was wrong and then i rrealised what i did and i wanna dug myself in a grave like literally you cant even imagine how basic of a problem that was and i messed it up to top it up i was confident now i don't know whose fault is it i think it's mine to calculate wrong because i am weak at most of the things

"Okay so basically there is this guy"

Said like any girl ever, but like this time its for REAL.

Some Context:

Okay so this guy, Logan, is in my biology class, and he is REALLY cute. And like one of the first guys who has like shown me any interest.

Mind you I have never had; my first kiss, a boyfriend, a situationship, I HAVENT EVEN HAD A TALKING STAGE (so its like BAD BAD)

Basically, I think I first saw him the second day of school. I was in my Bio class and we had to get into groups to do a fun team working project. I was partnered up with around 3 of my friends and he was in a group that was sitting next to mine, but his seat was kinda perpendicular to mine. I noticed from the corner of my eye that he kept looking over in my direction, but again, I was sitting with 3 of my friends so I didn't know if he was looking at me or one of my friends. Through out the school year its like this whole cat and mouse game where I'll look over at him (we sit on opposite sides of the classroom) and I'll turn away and then he'll look over at me, i can see him out of the corner of my eye, and then he'll look away.

Slight dilema, one of the 3 friends i mentioned earlier sits RIGHT next to me, so he could still just be looking at HER. :(

I think i debunked this though because one of the days we ended our lecture early i went and sat next the my other friend in the class ( a different friend) and my seat was angles towards where he was (he was standing by another guy's desk) and BRO COULDN'T STOP LOOKING OVER AT ME AHHHHAHAHAHAHAH

Butttt, a few weeks ago we were working on a genetics paper and it was supposed to take us like all class period, but i find the genetic topic really easy so i finished in like 10 minutes. So my teacher asked if i wanted to help her make this basketball poster for the upcoming basketball season, and of couse, i said yes. So i stand up and walk over to where the table was the had all of the supplies for the poster and i start cutting out a basketball. Behind me to my left is a large bookshelf that has a small basketball hoop attached to it, and so far nobody in my class has touched it. But BAM suddenly these 2 guys decide now is the perfect time to start playing basketball, anywaysss logan joins them after a minute, and because the basket is right next to me i move around to the other side of the table. Then my teacher starts to play with them and they have a little competition, and for some reason they were being really loud so i looked up.....DIRECT EYE CONTACT (I nearly dieddddd)

Obviously im a bit delusional and it might be one of those things where i like the version of him in my head more than i like the actual him, but let a girl dream!!!!

Anywaysss, the way my class is set up the seats are basically the basic 2 person black tables but organized in a u with everybody facing the middle, like this:

___ ___

| |

| |

I sit here -> | * * *** |

|__________|

he sits here ---------->

The *'s are random seats my teacher has in the middle, with the 2 on the left being actual desks and the other 3 being bean bags. Last week Logan sat at the * closest to my seat....stealing this other guys spot!!!! But im lowkey really shy and quiet in that class so he talked to my friend who sits next to me most of the time, but its okay guys! No red flags there because she has a boyfriend and was literally asking him all class what she should gift her boyfriend for christmas.

I laughed at a few of his jokes and talked to him a little but not a lot :(

But the things is that for the next 2 days he didn't look at me at ALL, and then he wasn't at school for the last part of the week....

So basically I need help, like desperately! I know this just seems like a silly crush, but I would much rather takes risks in highschool than have no idea what im doing when im trying to find my husband after college, you feel me?

If anyone has any tips to like get him to notice me, or things i could do to interact with him more, that would help a lotttttttttt

Thank you all so much!!! <3 (oh and if ur a visual learner, like me, just imagine, cole walter from my life with the walter boys, but like an actual teenager, and a little bit younger)

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.