Anonymous venting

so I'm bisexual and have been for a bit and last year I made friends with people and I really liked them and we got along well kinda I never really talked and was always left out but after a while around January of 2024 I found out they were calling me a F@ggot and a queer and I was forcing them to be my friend and I was weird and it took a toll on my already bad mental health and I stopped talking to them but then they acted like they have never met me and they didn't sh!t talk me

I am not a good person. At all. That's all i can't think about. I can't move i can't do anything all i can't think about Is that i ruined so much for so many people. I can't stop imagining just how much better things would be If i wasn't here. I ruin everything no matter how much i try. Everytime i mess up and ruin everything for everybody. I'm too scared to get out of this bathroom, i'm too scared of everything that Is going to happen. Everything Is so overwhelming. There's so much work and so many tests. I don't have the capabilities for this. I can't make It. I don't even know how i made It here. Three years ago i had promised myself it would be different. I promised myself that these years would be different, that this school would be different, that i would be different. And i tried i really tryed to keep that promise but i failed. I fell back into the same spiral. I broke my promise. I dissapointed everyone including myself. My grades a crashing. Everyone hates me. And i'm ruining the relationship ship i had with the one friend i had after i gave my all to be friend her for two years and a half. Right now i Just want to stay in this bathroom and stare at wall. And just never get out. I Just want to hide. Dissapear. It would be better for everyone If i wasn't here.

Before the school year ended, I tried to run for a leadership position in our school, specifically the head role of our organization. I attained it by winning the elections, and I was the only one who ran for it. And obviously, I was the one who was going to win because of it. Afterwards, I represented my org for 4 months and didn't plan to resign because I actually found my passion in this position. I planned projects, organized the turnover files, and assisted my organization in its events. I also was able to appoint my secretary, which took me a while for some reason. Everything was going fine and smooth not until I did something that violated one of the school rules. It was before entrance exams, I was struggling to get resources for my review and due to pressure I did something out of desperation. I snuck a book from the library inside my bag and tried to keep it at home. I was caught by the alarms just as when I was about to go out. I returned it as soon as possible and was anxious on what happened. Due to this, I was obliged to undergo a disciplinary intervention for three days. Just as when I thought everything is going to be fine after I finished this, the council moderators was also informed about the incident. And because of the council rules, anyone who committed something like this should be relieved from the leadership position. I was so disappointed and hated myself for few weeks. Then, the council moderator decided to have a meeting with me and my fellow officers about the position being vacant. I just said to them that I resigned, no other explanation. But deep inside, I let them down. I know I could have done better. I know I could have avoided that situation. Fortunately enough, they still value me, but not all of them. Some of them lost respect for me because I am not the head anymore, and it was all so sudden. I am also having a hard time detaching myself because I also want to contribute and compensate after I stepped down. It all goes back and forth. I really shouldn't have ran for the position in the first place. I hear voices like these. I didn't even deserve my position and that I was only there for a show. I didn't even achieve the projects I have in mind. How can I even move forward? Yes, I want to volunteer and help my core officers but everytime I do so, I hear voices that why am I still here? It's my last semester in this school and it's hard to feel this way everyday, especially since I lost my confidence at the same time I lost my position.

My stupid fucking friend hasn't responded to me in 15 days now. I know people are busy, but is it so fucking hard to just have a conversation every now and then? Fucking piece of shit.

We've had a rocky relationship that last 2 years since I've had our daughter, I guess I started getting insecure when our talks of our future went from "I want our wedding to look like this" "I want another baby" to him telling me "I just don't feel like marriage is important" "I don't know if I want another baby". So we've had a lot of problems since I've had our daughter him being distant, me feeling like I'm just a servant or maid being a stay at home mom. What has happened recently back in July 2024 I broke my ankle BAD I need surgery for screws and a plate, well we originally were living in Las Vegas we planned to move to California so he could be closer to his family and friends but not until March 2025. Once I broke my ankle I couldn't work, we lost our apartment, we couldn't live off one income by ourselves and we had just moved out of his mom's house since I started working again and we could afford it. Well after I broke my ankle he decided that we could move to California sooner but the problem was he would be taking himself and the baby first until I was done with my ortho appointments. It was a really tough time for me, I had to stay with my family that abused me in my childhood until I was done with appointments. We had countless arguments because he made so many promises to me before he left and broke them he told me he would come down with the baby twice a month to visit once he started work and I was there for 2 months and he never came. I would plan something and he always had "something come up". Finally I move down he had started a new job and he just started a better one recently but he was only at this other job for 2 months. During that time he had become very close to this one female coworker, I'm not the jealous type but something about their relationship made me uncomfortable. He was distant, always on his phone, never being present when he was home to spend time with our daughter or me. This one day rose some red flags he had to work morning shift I started waking up that morning because he was on the phone talking to this one coworker, he hung up FAST when me and the baby started moving. Well that same night it was after midnight we were just done having some "alone time" I got up to go to the restroom and when I came back he was talking to her on the phone when he noticed me coming out he quickly changed the subject, when I asked why he was talking to a coworker he just saw that day after 12:30 am he got defensive and said she was wondering how this stressful situation at work happened. Okay whatever I'm still in denial at this point but it kept bothering me. Last night I wrote a whole letter (I don't do well with confrontation) explaining my feelings and how I felt their relationship was weird and inappropriate (he stopped working there 3 days earlier but she still called him to "vent" about her day) he had nothing to say to what I was saying. Then he starts crying saying he's tired of trying and nothing working for our relationship I explained to him I'm only asking for him to talk to me more about his feelings and to be honest. He kept saying everything and anything other than explaining their relationship. So I reminded him I said "you haven't said anything about this ex coworker" he tried coming up with an excuse saying she's been married and divorced and has "experience" in relationship issues. I told him that he's only known her two months he doesn't even talk to his best friends about problems he might have about us and surely not to me, so I told him it's really weird to be replying on relationship advice from someone you hardly know and who I don't know at all. I told him "if you can't be truthful with words then I need to see the texts" he told me that's not a good idea.....that they've been flirting a lot for a few weeks now and it will upset me too much reading them...he denied it being physical YET but when I asked him if he's gone out with her when he told me he was somewhere else he said yes. That yesterday when he told me he was still at work he was actually already done and had a lunch date with her...it's really upsetting to me because he just moved me away from all family and friends I had 2 months ago to a state I've never lived in, I don't start work for another week and am currently a sahm, I don't have a vehicle because the last 5 years he's always made excuses as to why I don't need one. So he broke up with me, confessed to emotional cheating, and left me with no transportation or money...what do I do

For the longest time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of excuses. I’d wake up every morning telling myself I’d make changes, that today would be different, but by the time the day ended, I was back to square one. Whether it’s eating healthier, exercising, or even just cleaning my space, I keep putting it off. I’d tell myself, "I’ll start tomorrow," but tomorrow never seems to come.

Yesterday was my breaking point. I was scrolling through social media and saw an old friend post about running their first marathon. I remember how we used to run together, how much I loved it back then. And now? I can’t even jog up the stairs without feeling winded. It hit me like a ton of bricks—what am I even doing with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons to avoid what I know I need to do?

I looked around my apartment after that. Clothes piled up on the floor, dishes in the sink from who-knows-how-many days ago, and a gym membership card collecting dust on the counter. That’s when it finally clicked—it’s time to stop. It’s time to stop avoiding the hard stuff, time to stop pretending everything will fix itself, and time to stop being my own worst enemy.

I don’t have a perfect plan yet, and honestly, I’m scared I’ll slip back into my old habits. But I know I can’t keep going like this. If I don’t make a change now, when will I? Maybe writing this out will help me stay accountable. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re feeling stuck too, maybe it’s time to stop and take the first step. We’ve got this.

Hey everyone, I’m not usually one to air my personal stuff, but I really need some advice here. For the past few months, I’ve had this gut feeling that my wife might be cheating on me, and it's eating me alive. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the signs are starting to pile up, and I’m just not sure what to do.

It all started when she began staying late at work more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it—she’s always been dedicated to her job. But then, she became super protective of her phone. She used to leave it lying around, but now she keeps it close and seems to be on it all the time, even at odd hours. And when I casually ask about her day, her answers feel...vague? Like she’s hiding something.

Then there are the little things. She started dressing up more than usual, even just to “run errands” or meet friends. It’s almost like she’s trying to impress someone. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself I’m being paranoid, but every time I bring it up, she gets defensive or says I’m just being insecure. It makes me feel like maybe I’m overthinking, but part of me feels like my concerns are valid.

To make things worse, I found a receipt for a fancy dinner that she said was a "work thing," but I know her company usually doesn’t do dinners like that. I keep second-guessing myself, and now I’m stuck in this loop of anxiety. I don’t want to accuse her without solid proof, but I also can’t keep living in this uncertainty.

So here I am, asking for advice. Has anyone else been through this? How do you confront someone you love without it turning into a huge fight? Should I even bring it up again, or am I just being paranoid? Any advice would be appreciated—I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

I've come to the harsh realization that perhaps, I'm not the nicest person around. In my mid-thirties, I find myself surrounded only by a single friend and a girlfriend, yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow superior to others. My lifestyle is quite reclusive; I shy away from any social gatherings related to work, and most of my routine revolves around my job, hitting the gym, smoking weed, and cycling. Traveling and cycling in the forest are my escapes, the rare times I don't feel swamped by depression.

Interacting with people, especially in groups, is a daunting task for me. The fear of turning red-faced and being judged negatively is always lurking. Thus, I avoid such situations altogether. There's a worrisome intensity in the way I live; I indulge too often in alcohol or getting high, viewing people merely as elements that enhance my own existence. My eyes wander too freely, admiring every attractive woman I come across, often blatantly flirting in the presence of my girlfriend. Even though these thoughts are never vocalized, I often catch myself belittling others or feeling utter disdain towards them internally.

I confess to being a staunch atheist, holding a disdainful view towards those who are spiritually inclined, believing myself to be smarter, better-looking, and stronger. The resentment builds whenever I see someone possessing what I desire, although I manage to keep this anger bottled up within.

Dominating these emotions is a profound sense of isolation, mixed oddly with a perverse comfort in wallowing in my misery. Sometimes, hurting my own feelings seems like a twisted form of pleasure, perhaps because it means feeling something at all.

My family background does little to lighten my outlook. My brother lives with the dark shadow of being a murderer and a former heroin addict. My father was a violent man, devoid of emotions, who ultimately took his own life. My mother, afflicted by illness so severe that she has been bedridden since my childhood, sparks a guilt within me for not taking care of her. However, I've chosen a path of self-preservation as dedicating myself to her care would consume my own existence entirely.

This life I've crafted for myself is one I despise, yet a part of me feels I shouldn't. With a good education, a well-paying job, and an undeniable appeal to women, I should feel fulfilled. Instead, I’m left feeling empty and, frankly, disgusted with myself for sounding like a self-pitying fool. What the hell is wrong with me?

Despite my efforts not to belittle others overtly, the impression that people don’t like me is hard to shake off. Loneliness is a constant companion.

If I were to join a reality show, my character might be polarizing. Would the audience appreciate my brutally honest introspections, or would they be repelled by my self-confessed arrogance and emotional detachment? It's intriguing yet terrifying to ponder how my persona would unfold under the constant scrutiny of cameras and a public audience.

I chose the friendship stories category but yeah it's related to friendship, love, family, work... I am like that.

I grew up in a very religious family where our faith has always guided our lives and choices. The teachings I’ve known my whole life tell me that being gay is wrong, and yet, I feel these undeniable attractions that make me question everything. I’ve tried to push it down, to change, to pray it away, but it’s always there, a part of me I can’t ignore.

I don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. It feels like every day, I’m torn between two worlds: the expectations of my family and faith, and the reality of my own heart. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this something I can change, or should I even try? I’ve heard so many opinions, but deep down, I just want to know if I can truly be at peace with both my faith and myself.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or if you have advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost and alone in this struggle, and I just need someone to help me see a way through this.

Being a mom is the most rewarding and terrifying thing I’ve ever done. My little girl is only two years old, but every single day, I find myself wondering: am I doing enough? How to be a good mother when it feels like there’s so much to figure out?

Some days, I feel like I’m nailing it. We play together, she laughs at my silly songs, and I can see how happy she is. But then there are moments when I feel like I’m completely failing. Like yesterday, when I lost my temper because she spilled juice on the carpet after I told her three times not to run around with her cup. She cried, and it broke my heart because all I could think about was, “What kind of mom yells at a two-year-old over juice?”

I read parenting blogs and watch videos on how to raise happy, confident kids, but it’s overwhelming. There’s so much advice out there, and half of it feels contradictory. Be strict, but not too strict. Let them explore, but set boundaries. Make healthy meals, but don’t stress if they eat nuggets and fries once in a while. I’m trying to do it all, but is that even possible?

I see other moms who seem to have it all together—perfectly dressed kids, Pinterest-worthy lunches, and spotless homes. Meanwhile, I’m just proud if I can get her to daycare on time with matching socks. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re struggling too and just hiding it better.

I love my daughter more than anything, and I want her to grow up feeling loved, supported, and safe. But how do I know if I’m doing it right? Is there some magic formula on how to be a good mother, or is it just about showing up every day and doing your best?

If anyone has advice or has felt this way too, I’d love to hear it. I’m trying so hard, but some days it feels like I’m just fumbling through.