Anonymous venting

My husband and I have a bustling household with four kids: one from my previous relationship, two from his, and one we share together. We've always aimed to be fair in our treatment towards all our kids, though it can be a challenge with our extended families. For instance, his parents occasionally take his kids on trips, while my child prefers not to go along if I'm not involved. We've never seen this as a significant problem since we ensure any family trips include everyone.

However, a recurring issue is with my stepdaughter, Emily, who quite often opposes anything the other kids or we enjoy. Take our winter trip to Colorado, which she initially was eager about until she realized the other kids were having fun too, then suddenly she wanted to cut the vacation short. This pattern repeats everywhere – zoos, museums, you name it, and if people are already happy about it, Emily quickly soured on the idea.

We thought it might be beneficial to offer her some one-on-one time with each parent. Despite trying that alongside joint activities to show parental harmony, the situation didn't improve. Even female-oriented days with her mom and me haven't gone down well, making it clear that over enthusiasm on our part somehow triggers her discontent.

Her peculiar behavior extends even to meals. If someone expresses liking for a dish, Emily is quick to criticize. She shows a peculiar preference for activities or things that others show no interest in, and this attitude prevails even when she's with her aunt and cousins. We have tried discussing her behavior with her sister, but the only insight we get is a helpless shrug and a blunt descriptor that’s best left unmentioned.

With persistent issues, we let Emily pick day trips, even suggesting she could bring a friend along, but even then, if anyone shows enthusiasm for her choice, she becomes discontent, griping that her ideas shouldn't be enjoyed by others.

This year's major planning involved a trip to Disney, a dream for my nephew who, due to his battle with cancer, has had limited social interactions and family experiences. However, as excitement built among everyone else, Emily immediately dismissed the idea as stupid, dampening the enthusiasm. Her dad, wrapped up in his seasonal workload, backed out, seeing the business necessity. So, I proceeded with the bookings for myself, my sister, my nephew, and our three kids, deciding not to include Emily, as she expressed clear disinterest.

My husband thinks excluding her might be too harsh, but with my nephew's special circumstances, I feared her constant complaints could spoil this potentially once-in-a-lifetime experience for him. So now, I'm left wondering, have I been unjust?

Imagine if this were on a reality show, the public scrutiny could intensify dramatically. Viewers might sympathize with the challenges of blending a family, while others could argue that my approach may encourage feelings of exclusion or resentment in Emily. The court of public opinion in such scenarios can be fiercely divided, with every action and decision magnified under the relentless spotlight of social media and television viewership.

My partner Isabella suffers from severe food allergies, including life-threatening allergies to shellfish and peanuts. She's also allergic to less common items like celery and soy. Often, people either don't take these allergies seriously or assume they can safely omit the allergens without considering cross-contamination, so Isabella usually brings her own food as a precaution. During our initial visit to a family dinner hosted by my mom, Isabella packed her own meal because mom implied preparing allergy-safe food might be challenging. This upset my mom initially, who felt slighted that Isabella didn't trust the meal she prepared.

Before moving closer to family, my wife and they had a great relationship. However, we re-located to be near both our families 18 months ago to maintain stronger family ties.

Following that first encounter, Isabella decided not to bring her backup meal to the next gathering, trusting my mom’s assurances. For a time, everything went well. But then one evening, my mom prepared a special dish for Isabella while the rest of us had meals containing shellfish and soy. Unfortunately, due to lapses in food preparation safety, cross-contamination occurred, and Isabella suffered an allergic reaction. Although mom apologized and acknowledged her oversight, she later voiced how burdensome it was to prepare a separate meal for Isabella, subsequently reverting to making a single, unsafe meal for everyone.

Faced with no other safe options, Isabella resumed bringing her own food, which reignited tension. After numerous discussions with the entire family, who expressed that it was unreasonable to expect my mom to accommodate one person's needs so extensively, I made the hard choice for Isabella and me to stop attending these family dinners.

This decision stirred controversy within the family, with the criticism largely directed towards me. I've made it clear that Isabella’s health is my top priority, and I can’t justify putting her at risk for an allergic reaction or make her feel excluded by having her just watch everyone else eat. Thus, avoiding these dinners seemed the only viable solution.

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show. Viewers might rally behind Isabella, incensed by the apparent disregard for her health, or they might sympathize with my mom, viewing her efforts as being unappreciated. The tension and division could peak, sparking debates and social media buzz about family obligations and the realities of dietary restrictions.

If this were a poll in a reality TV show, how might people vote on our decision to stop attending family dinners?

My relationship with my mom has always been fraught with tension. During my teenage years, the emotional and mental abuse I endured was severe. Our arguments were a daily occurrence, propelled by her high expectations for me in both academics and sports like tennis. My effort was constantly scrutinized, and despite my diagnosis with ADD and being prescribed medication that helped me achieve straight A’s, she continued to criticize my effort level. Her controlling behavior even extended to monitoring my weight, scolding me for any gain, and sending me to various weight loss camps from a young age. One summer, she forced me into a counselor role at one of these camps, leaving me stranded when I needed transportation home after everyone else had quit.

The loss of my high school tennis coach, who was like a father figure to me, was a devastating blow during my freshman year. His unexpected death left me deeply saddened, but my mom’s insistence on maintaining perfect attendance at school prevented me from grieving. My mourning was dismissed by her as drug-related behavior, to the extent that she threatened to drug test me. Although she briefly acquiesced to group therapy, she soon pulled me out, disrupting my healing process. Her harsh words that God had taken my coach away because I didn’t value him enough are words that have scarred me deeply.

As our arguments escalated, I would often threaten to sever ties once I left for college, expressing in a letter that I didn't ever want my future children to suffer her influence. This led her to make significant improvements in her behavior. While our relationship has somewhat mended and she has shown attempts at rectifying her actions, occasional remarks and tensions still emerge during visits, though the relationship has improved markedly from my younger years.

Recently, my parents have been pressuring me about marriage and grandchildren, expressing a deep desire to become grandparents. Having been out of a relationship for three years and unsure about wanting children, my admission was met with disappointment and accusations of selfishness. My mother lamented their potential missed opportunity to be grandparents, suggesting my decision was an unfair punishment for her past behavior. Though her efforts to reform our relationship are evident, lingering feelings of resentment make me question my own desires regarding parenthood. The thought of denying her the chance to be a grandmother brings guilt, especially as it also affects my father who has been largely supportive.

It’s fascinating considering what might happen if my life were part of a reality show. Would the public sympathize with my difficult childhood and ongoing struggles, or would they judge my decisions and reluctance to forgive? Could the external pressure and audience opinions sway my personal decisions or would I hold my ground?

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting children because of my rocky past with my mom?

I'm usually knee-deep in work from a job that demands almost everything from me, and my partner, Alex, is fully aware of how strenuous it can be. Not long ago, I decided that it was essential to establish clearer boundaries regarding my availability after work hours. Specifically, I made it a rule not to take work-related calls after 7 pm. Alex seemed to agree with this new arrangement at first, appreciating that we could spend more quality time together without interruptions from my work.

However, last night, things took a bizarre turn. Around 8:30 pm, as we were settling down for the evening, my boss called. Sticking to my new-found boundaries, I chose to ignore the call. But Alex, to my dismay, questioned why I wasn't answering. I explained that it was part of my effort to prevent work from overrunning my personal life. Without hesitating, Alex picked up my phone and answered the call himself, telling my boss that I was "too busy relaxing to talk." I was completely embarrassed! The tone in my boss's voice was clearly one of irritation when I ultimately had to take the phone. I ended up spending the next 30 minutes sorting out work issues, a situation exacerbated by Alex's remark which made it appear as though I was neglecting my duties.

After I hung up, I confronted Alex. I was livid and explained how inappropriate it was for him to intervene in my work matters. He just shrugged it off, suggesting I was overreacting and claiming that I shouldn't feel ashamed for enforcing my boundaries around work. This whole ordeal has left me second-guessing both my boundary-setting and his understanding of it. Am I overreacting, or was his interference out of line?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show. The drama would certainly amplify, with cameras capturing every moment of the exchange and potentially millions of viewers judging the dynamics of our relationship. Viewers might side with me for trying to establish work-life balance, or they could sympathize with Alex, perceiving him as supporting a more relaxed approach. The court of public opinion could dramatically sway in either direction, affecting not just perceptions but our relationship dynamics after being exposed to widespread scrutiny.

Was my partner's action on my work call justified?

Last week, I impulsively decided to run a marathon with only a week's notice after learning I needed surgery on my rotator cuff. Since I couldn't engage in my favorite hobby, climbing, I've been supplementing with some casual running. Previously, I'd participated in a handful of races, including a marathon which I hadn't really trained for, so I figured why not try again? It seemed like a good way to stay active and feel accomplished as I geared up for my procedure.

A buddy of mine had also planned to run this marathon. Interestingly, she hadn't trained until it was almost time for the event. I thought it would be fun if we took on the challenge at a leisurely pace together. Throughout the week as I was hunting down a race bib, I kept updating her about my plans to join. She seemed okay with it until I finally secured a bib and shared my last-minute participation news on Facebook. That’s when things took a turn for the worse. She lashed out, claiming that the marathon was "her thing” and that by joining and posting about it, I was overshadowing her own efforts. She accused me of trying to steal her thunder, which was never my intention; I genuinely thought it would be nice to support each other.

On race day, we lost touch after just the first mile. I tried reaching out several times via text and calls but got no response. Hours later, she called back, way behind me, demanding I wait for her. Choosing to continue at my own pace, I politely declined, which she took as further evidence of me being a self-centered friend.

She didn't take it well that I was ahead, and, in an upset state, she quit at mile 16, taking a shortcut to finish with a better time than mine. I ended up finishing in 6 hours and 15 minutes, feeling proud of my achievement despite the circumstances.

Post-race, she remained adamant that I had intruded on her territory by running and has even withdrawn her offer to assist me post-surgery, claiming she felt betrayed. Her insistence that she "owns" running seems unreasonable to me, but perhaps I overlooked something in my approach.

If this whole situation unfolded in a reality show, I wonder how the audience would react. Would they sympathize with my desire to stay active and accomplish personal goals, or would they see me as the villain for stepping into what my friend considered her special domain? Reality shows thrive on conflict and resolution, so this drama could potentially be a pivotal storyline, drawing viewers to take sides and speculate on our motives and actions.

Am I wrong to have run the marathon, despite my friend’s claim on it as her own?

I have a big family that’s incredibly close. We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great grandfather's estate and eat together. Typically, how this works is that the women go cook for the time they’re there and the men don’t, which I am fully aware is sexist as hell. That being said, I am one of the youngest people in the family and my protests mean literally nothing.

Some of those women choose not to cook; however, this is usually met with a level of ostracizing. The women who don’t cook are wives and long-term girlfriends, so they kinda already have a good family relationship established. When I have seen new partners not cook, it’s gone bad. Like completely ostracized, not speaking, cattiness, rudeness, etc.

This dinner will be in two weeks and my girlfriend was asked if she would attend. Initially, she said yes, which is great. I want for her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around, but when I explained to her the tradition, she was understandably bothered.

I told her that I understood where she was coming from; however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn’t a permanent thing and that I am only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family. This is her first impression and I don’t think it’s best if we cause waves.

She told me that it’s unacceptable and that if she has to do that, she will not be going. I’ve tried to find a compromise with her on this, but she won’t budge and she’s pissed at me. She told me that if I think it’s acceptable to make her do this, I’m just as bad as everyone else, while my point is that she needs to make a good first impression.

Imagine if this was a reality show. How do you think my family and my girlfriend's reactions would play out on TV? Would the audience side with me, understanding the family dynamics, or would they see me as a villain for pushing her into such a sexist tradition?

I have two kids with my wife. When they were young, my parents generously set up education funds for both of them.

My wife and I always expected our kids to go to college and then grad school, just like we did. I have a PhD and my wife has a master’s degree. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for their undergrad degrees and didn’t tell them about the money.

My daughter has always been into liberal arts, while my son is more of a STEM guy. We worried about her job prospects, but she insisted on studying music and film in college. She got into some top schools and chose an expensive one, but she had scholarships covering almost all tuition. Everything else, plus living expenses, was her responsibility. She lived in a tiny apartment shared with friends in a rough area far from campus, but she managed and learned to budget effectively. After graduating, she found a job she enjoys, though it doesn’t pay much, and gave up on grad school.

My son decided on engineering and also didn’t want to go to grad school. We were disappointed but accepted it since he’s lined up for a great job after school. He didn’t get as many scholarships as his sister, so we used his education fund for his tuition and living expenses. He got a large, nice apartment close to school, which is important given his demanding classes.

My daughter was confused about how he could afford this and he told her about the education fund. She called us, upset, asking why she didn’t get one. We told her she did, but we saved it hoping she’d go to grad school. She seemed hurt and asked if she could have the money now. We explained there’d be a fee to withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we did that, it would go back to her grandparents for their use. Since then, she’s been short in her texts and hasn’t answered our calls. I know it seems unfair to her, but it’s not really her money and she’s not in college anymore. Her brother got it for educational purposes only. Am I wrong?

How would people react if this situation was on a reality show? Would viewers side with my daughter or understand my perspective and the importance of using the funds as intended?

My Partner and I Disagreed About Our House Renovation Project

So my partner and I disagreed about me asking him to take time off for our house renovation project. I suggested he use some of his holiday for a garden project so we could get a big proportion of it done in one go. He said no, his holiday was his time to do what he wanted and it wasn't fair for me to ask him to use it for the house renovations as he has less holidays than me. I said maybe he could just use 1 or 2 days and he said he would not compromise on this and wanted to do the project over several weekends instead.

As I have school holidays off, I said I would not be comprising either and would be getting the work done in my holidays and not just on the weekends as I wanted it to be done sooner.

He said that was not fair as he wanted to be just as involved in the project as me and accused me of threatening to do the work without him and not respecting his choice to save his holidays for things he likes doing more. He also said I could do other projects to which I replied that I just end up doing the rubbish jobs that he doesn't want to do because I have more holidays than him.

If we were in a reality show, I wonder how people would react to this situation. Would they side with me, or would they think I'm being unreasonable? It's so easy for others to judge when they're not in the same position.

So my buddy and I came up with this idea. Well, it was mostly his idea, and he's more knowledgeable in that field than I am. But since I'm a good coder, he needed me to handle the coding part. I bought the domain, and he was supposed to create the website. I gave him the login details, but weeks went by, and the site was untouched. I thought the idea fizzled out, and we both got busy with our own stuff—he had work, and I was traveling.

Months later, I noticed the domain just sitting there. On a whim, I decided to work on the website and bring the idea to life. After months of effort, the site started gaining traction and making sales.

It now brings in a decent monthly income.

Recently, I told my buddy about it because I wanted to involve him in a campaign with a customer and maybe offer a split of the campaign profits. Now he wants to make changes to the website, adjust prices, and add his knowledge to improve it.

I'm feeling conflicted because I put in a lot of effort and went through trial and error to build the business. He argues that it was his idea and his suggestion to buy the domain, which is true.

Am I wrong for not wanting to go along with his changes?

I offered to create a new site with him where we can implement his ideas on pricing and design, but he's insistent on modifying the current site.

Now, I wonder how people would react if this were happening on a reality show. Would they see me as the bad guy, or would they understand my side of the story?

Hi everyone. I (28m) met an intriguing person (45?, I'll call them Jo) a few days ago who proposed a sugar parent (SP) relationship, with me as the sugar baby. I thought, why not, and agreed. I didn't know much about these relationships, and I still don't, so I let them take the lead.

So, Jo asked me to download a banking app. After checking it out, it seemed fine, so I set up an account. Then, Jo asked for my login and password. I'm not comfortable with that and told Jo as much. When I asked why, Jo said they wanted to use it for trade. That raised some red flags for me, and I told Jo. They explained it was meant to be a safe account for trades "off the radar." But that account had my personal details, like my SSN.

I told Jo I wasn't comfortable with that and suggested using my Venmo QR code instead. Jo said if I couldn't do this, I shouldn't worry about doing anything else. I pointed out that asking for such details is a lot, even for people who've been dating for years, let alone two people who just met. I felt their request seemed financially abusive.

Jo accused me of not knowing what trust is and said I needed to take a leap of faith. But I'm an atheist, and leaps of faith aren't my thing. I told Jo their behavior could be seen as financially abusive and that others wouldn't take it kindly. Jo ended the conversation, and now I'm not sure if I hurt Jo's feelings or caught them in a scam.

If this was on a reality show, how would people react? Would they think I was being overly cautious or see Jo's behavior as suspicious?

So, am I right for not wanting to share my banking information with Jo? Anyone with experience or general knowledge of SP relationships, please share your thoughts.