Life Stories and Everyday Drama

Frankly, I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics, people trying to impose their way of being on others, and whose coexistence is based on what others can do to each other, resorting to something more than just a survival instinct, which they themselves understand and, in fact, disregard, even suggesting that others do things their way, all in the name of exerting that same power. Good heavens, where is this? This isn't an office, not in a million years. It's a wretched, bloody jungle, because everyone is seeking dominance at any cost. They go beyond the limits they want, at the expense of doing nothing, justifying it under the guise of the collective. It's truly a horrifying thing, and that's why I was so concerned with eliminating it from the premises, with making that system disappear completely, immediately, drastically, leaving no trace. At least that's how it is with me. In no way should it be known that I have no support for that way of life. Instead, I will be focused on rejecting it definitively until it's clear that this way of life is not for me. They, in turn, interpret this as a sign that fate is on my side, because I know how to navigate their impositions, even in the midst of crises. I was never going to let them lay a hand on me, nor make them feel that I was one of them, in their way, outside the rules. I was going to abide by them and uphold them, even if that was all it took, and personally, I wasn't going to make it public, not in any way. I was simply going to act as I saw fit, since they don't understand the rules, they don't live by them, so I have nothing to discuss with them, absolutely nothing. I'm not going to waste my breath, from every point of view, on misguided, downtrodden people.

I feel completely disappointed that I entered this place, where I can't have a remotely normal, decent, human friendship, but instead I have to put up with my friend going her own way and me going mine, at the expense of a comfort I don't know where she got it from, where she prefers a stranger who doesn't know if he follows the law, to someone who actually pays attention to it. What on earth is this girl running from? I don't understand it personally, and I don't have to, nor should the authorities defend it. Simply trying to avoid causing a disturbance—a permit, protected by law, that I'm entitled to exercise—and being told no because it's disruptive—I mean, the exercise of the law is disruptive within the grounds, and even outside their jurisdiction—living at the expense of imposing normality, going beyond the confines of the grounds—that's something I couldn't allow, and believe me, I was harassed for it no matter what. What a hell, what a girl who emerged from these walls and doesn't uphold the spirit of the law. From every point of view, what kind of pigsty am I in? What kind of place is this? What kind of place is this that's accustomed to using anything to destroy others and do it according to the rules? I'm not here to do what they want, not at all. My sense of responsibility is barely challenged by such petty squabbles. What do these people want? To create a criminal? To make me someone with a gun who starts shooting indiscriminately? That's not my idea. Now, understand those rigid, profile-based schemes and that business of "repairing" the individual, all in the name of achieving their peace. What a shameful environment. How can I be a part of this? How can I allow myself to be a part of this? In a place where social control is desperately sought in one way or another.

I'm fed up, and I can't take it anymore. I have to leave this place. I feel I must. This place is not suitable for decent people, for good people, but for invasive people who try to ensnare you, where the only goal is to hide the flaws of someone who fosters criminals in the embrace of a tyrannical incongruity. What am I doing with these people? There's nothing more shameful than seeing people trying to trap me, to put me between a rock and a hard place, to force me to help them at work, at their expense, putting me between someone who betrays the group, playing the victim, pretending I don't like them, when I'm not there to like anyone, but to do my job and maintain a positive work environment. One thing doesn't imply the other. This was the excuse my friend used; she was social, but then she wasn't, of course. That excuse served her to be social in an imposing way, well, with others, really; it never happened with me. Seeing this guy, trained to weave emotional tangles, my boss specifically, made me realize that he didn't know anything about management, contrary to what he led me to believe. It was already strange that he wrote on shop windows rather than a whiteboard, to begin with.

There were many things my boss did that I didn't see clearly, that I didn't notice. Those abusive comments, those overbearing ones, letting me into his office just like that—all in an effort to camouflage his authority, to diminish it, doesn't reflect well on any boss. It hurts that my friend has blocked me; I can't talk to her, can't say anything to her. Besides, I wouldn't know what to say, not at all. I'd desperately try to fill the void, and that's not the point. The point isn't to ruin things. We're in an environment where being friends is dangerous, where sharing things can compromise us both because we're disruptive, because we won't know how to stand up for ourselves, because we'll try to show that we're not on our own, each of us doing our own thing. Such extreme caution we have to exercise—what a shame. They don't even respect birthdays; they don't consider whether or not to celebrate them. Their way of life in that office is one of disrespect for diversity, and they resort to normalization whenever they can. You have to protect yourself however you can; it's every man for himself. And you have to live with the consequences, especially when it affects the bureaucracy. The problem lies there: not everyone can adapt, and they try to undermine those who do, putting up barriers. What kind of savages are these? There are no protocols to rely on, nothing to complain about, nothing to take refuge on except the effects of forced coexistence, effects that should never be shown. They're not right in the head, not at all. It took me a long time to realize this. They'll hide behind anything to achieve dominance, anything at all. They don't respect boundaries; they don't know about them. It's impossible for them to conceive of such a thing.

They're monsters, for God's sake, they don't know what they're doing, they live at the mercy of prejudice. Personally, I want to run away from that office; I don't want anything more to do with them. I don't know why I have a friend who has blocked me, for God's sake. What kind of friendship is that? What kind of person am I with who treats me without even making a simple effort to do things right? Well, actually, if she does, she does it well; she makes a lot of effort, she knows how to move forward on autopilot, and she always tries to make sure I have a place in her life. I don't know what else I could expect from a relationship in that kind of environment, really. It seems more logical that a friendship would develop under conditions where, by no means, for God's sake, would it be anything like what you'd find in school. What's happening is sensible, perfectly logical, and pleasing. I can't deny the facts, I just can't. How annoying! Why did I never have normal friendships? Friends who respected me and gave me that hug. Why did I get stuck with a boss who was trying to curry favor with anyone in his path? Why did I have to deal with relationships like these? Why did I get stuck in an office like this? I should be in a much better place, with organization and equally organized, pleasant relationships, where there was a supportive collective, yet I ended up in the worst possible place. It's disgusting.

We were playing black ops 2 zombies, kinda blazed, and being goofy. He suddenly does this spot on impression of Watto- Anakins slave owner in the Phantom Menace- and I just broke.

I'm asking him about how to spend points on this map we're playing, yk, come up with a plan. He hits me with the Watto "Annieee"

I burst out laughing and realized how bizarre the one scene in Attack of the Clones is. Anakin is searching for his mother, and he goes to watto for help. Tldr, he knows Anakin is basically a space wizard peace officer, and the first thing he says after homeboy is like 'yo, where's my ma?'

Watto: Ah that's great kid hey you wanna help me with some mafia deadbeats who owe me money? Annie please they owe me money' like WTF 💀💀💀 goofy ahh writing

Anyways

Im kinda just accepting love is not really for me or friendships sometimes idk ive been in 8 relationships some were good some were bad and thats ok and for friends i kinda just accepting no ones really gonna want to get to know me even if the friends are really nice im kinda just accepting that no one will put the same effort i do and thats ok i think im ok with being lonely i kinda just wish the desire for love or friendship kinda just goes away i think IM fina with being alone and thats ok i live my family and i forgave them for alot of things for manipulating me for trying to kill me when i was a baby i forgive them from the bottom of my heart and im ok with it i just wish the desire for love and friendship kinda just left me so i can truly be happy alone but i still crave it its hard

It's crazy to me that im just a kid and im already thinking about how life is gonna be when im gonna turn 20. Will i find a partner? (probably not). Will i find a house or a flat to live in? Will i struggle with rent? Will i finally get a cat to keep me company like one did in a dream of mine? Will i go out? I think u know the drill but one of the questions is different to me at least. And that one is: Will i even make it to 20?

I know i am a coward and that i cant do anything without guidance so the honest and most likely answer would be no, i won't make it to 20. But does that mean, that i have to throw all my dreams away now? My dreams of playing guitar, my dreams of photographing and my one and only important dream to find someone who will get me? Not even a partner but perhaps, my muse? My best friend? My soulmate? I always had a picture in my mind of this girl. Ginger hair, Freckles everywhere, long and sharp eyeliner, smoky eyeshadow, lip piercing, dark brown eyes, skinny figure, looking straight into my camera lens with eyes full of love and patience. Someone who would never turn her back on me but i know it's unrealistic, i cant find someone with those specific features but god i just wish someone could tell me that its gonna be okay, i will get through 20, i will be happy, i wont be stuck in a loop of working and laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, someone who would both tell me and make me feel like im worth something. Someone who will tell me that and say it to my face so i will never forget that.

This is so corny man i hate myself

I'm currently in high-school n I've been friends with the trans girl named Mars since the 6th grade and he used to like a boy who I'll call Alex . We are all in band, but both of them are in the same section and about a year ago Mars friend told Alex that he liked him n Alex rejected him, so he got really sad n he said and I quote "I'm going to end it all if I don't get fitter or get my new crush to date me" (his current boyfriend). After he said this I felt worse since I had also had a crush on Alex since the 6th grade but had known him since the 4th. So out of guilt I helped him get his current boyfriend and after a few week of them dating i decided to tell him that I had a crush on Alex. After I told him this he was like I thought u had a crush on him but at the time he said he was totally ok with me liking alex but due to exterior circumstances I ended up sitting n being paired for a final project with his boyfriend. So I believe he thought I would start liking his boyfriend so as the year ended our friendship became strained and he pulled away. The summer passed by n we didn't talk at all but about a week ago I texted him n told him that I was sorry n that it was ok if he didn't trust me anymore but that I wanted to apologize before school started n ge said that I had been forgiven but that he still didn't trust me fully which I understand but a few days ago during band camp i tried approaching him but he was a bit distant so I decided to back off. Alex was also there and he started teasing me and I started to tease him back since teasing is my form of showing care to others but as me and Alex were joking around Mars started to look annoyed and start intervening in our conversations. I got slightly annoyed but I didn't say anything since I was trying to patch things up. The next day I kept talking to Alex but I felt so wrong for enjoying talking to him especially infront of Mars. But today when Mars didn't show up I started feeling worse so I tried to avoid Alex but we kept making eye contact and he kept on trying to talk to me and by the end of the day I finally caved n I started talking to him and while talking I felt so happy but when the day ended I felt like a peice of crap but I have tried so hard to stop liking Alex but I always go back to him and he feels like a drug that has me hooked but after leaving his presence I feel like shit because i remember hey he is the reason one of your closest friends doesn't trust u anymore and it's a never ending loop.

why doesn’t my boyfriend love me anymore? he just got back from this two-week guys' trip to Thailand and boom... I'm invisible. It’s like flipping a switch. before his vacation, we were fine; sweet messages throughout the day, quick calls between meetings, you name it. now it's just crickets from his end. maybe it's culture shock coming back home seems alien compared to the party vibes over there. my friends say stress from work catches up with everyone after breaks but I smell something else; something fishy. it's bothering me that I can't put my finger on it.

you know when someone is multitasking a conference call while muting their notifications? textbook behavior in every professional playbook: ignore the noise until later but replace those emails with a girlfriend in this analogy and that's what I'm feeling firsthand. was our relationship really nothing more than background noise?

weird how he talked non-stop about some Phuket festival right as we sat down at the cafe where we had our first date. man, did he light up or what?! never saw him talk about our plans with such excitement unless you slapped on a ‘productive brainstorming session’ label, then maybe. never thought I'd say this but respecting both private time is blurred here.

then there's social media astronaut routine; blasting photos into orbit when none of us are in them together now? guess his new contact list gobbles more data than I do for breakfast.

so, standard mid-trip crisis or fresh thrill-seeker obsession sidelined in plain skin? too many rip curls rocking this small boat i captain. cheers to open threads! watch while I untangle more wires caught up here...

Hey guys. So I'm 19 and my boyfriend of 3 months just broke up with me. I know it doesn't seem like a long time, but it still hurts, ya know? I feel this weird urge to cry almost every day now😭 but the tears don't actually come out! It's like my emotions are stuck or something?? It's frustrating!!! Ugh.

I'm trying to stay positive and keep myself busy, but there's still that lingering feeling in my chest, wanting to burst into tears for no apparent reason. It's not even about missing him at this point. Maybe it's just all the changes happening in my life that is overwhelming? Or maybe I'm just being overdramatic😅

Anyway, I'm really frustrated with not being able to properly express how I feel. Everyone keeps telling me things will get better eventually... and while I believe them, right now it feels like such a struggle. Everything feels kinda dull... nothing seems fun anymore, you know what I mean?

But hey, deep down I know I gotta keep looking forward because that's what life's about...keeping on through the rough patches until you find your smile again😊 So here's hoping that moment comes soon.

I don't feel comfortable, but at least the office has shown what it means to be a professional: someone who values ​​themselves, who is judicious, who embraces their work, and who doesn't use their position as an excuse to do things. That chaotic office environment was shattered because it was completely dysfunctional and bitter, because its attempts at maintaining order didn't produce any positive results. My insistence on fostering a positive work environment has paid off, and I'm happy about that. I don't know if any of them will realize what I did, what my example was, but the important thing is to have a safe place to be. I think I deserve it, I think everyone deserves it. My friend, with her social awkwardness, deserves it too. She has the right to be who she is, within the social implications, of course, but they shouldn't go so far as to fire her for it, because of prejudice, because of fear, because of the difficulties it might cause, which are meant to be resolved systematically. But I think that's what those authorities don't understand. What happened in the office was no small matter, and that's why I've dedicated so much time to writing about it, to assess what I did, to see what it consisted of, and whether it's possible to implement it more broadly, more effectively. And I believe I've achieved that: becoming an effective citizen, a citizen capable of living with diversity, of setting boundaries in accordance with the wishes of others, the people. While the law may not explicitly protect this, the idea is to provide what is needed. Doing so isn't some kind of Wild West gunslinger or anything like that, not at all. Rather, the law exists for coexistence, and my people certainly have the capacity for it based on the law, which is extremely rich, complex, and adaptable. But precisely because of that spirit, it's often difficult to apply because it requires an embrace for which the people aren't prepared, due to the subtle details they have to accept, details that aren't something they're used to.

I wasn't interested in saying anything, in any way, but rather that everything be seen through practice. Words are just words, it's practice that can include words and, at the same time, not, as well as confront the doubts of practice through practice itself. Because, let's be honest: understanding an action the first time is a matter of luck, for God's sake, but I don't think my boss understands a single word of what I say, and I don't expect him to ever do so. For him, it's about taking precautions, looking ahead, when it comes to taking risks carefully, by any means necessary, assuming the consequences, of course, doing something about them, allowing them to unfold within limits. However, I insist, my boss believes that reality must be one and only one, in order to be able to describe it, in order to establish that we are dealing with a pleasant situation and that he doesn't speak ill of him, that he doesn't denigrate his image, that he doesn't contribute to denigrating it with his words, because it is from his incapacity that... In the case of all of us who perform actions, speak, in order to sustain ourselves in the world, striving to do something with it that is accepted, that course of action in our lives, the risk, is something discarded because it wasn't prevented, immediate peace wasn't achieved, and that it's an impossibility, a contradiction, a matter of that spirit.

I feel completely disappointed in the highest authorities regarding the selection of my boss as coordinator of two departments, knowing beforehand, and it's been known for some time, that the individual becomes a disaster with bureaucracy, he shatters it, destroys it, he wants to be in it but it rejects him, because he lives by using it in his own way, so that he looks good, because procedural matters are a matter of suspicion, that something is going on, of course, in the bureaucracy that's how it's perceived, and he doesn't allow the construction of evidence, he doesn't want to allow people to be enriched by doubts, but rather lives by remaining silent at all costs. This is the clearest profile of a dictator, one who silences dissent by any means necessary, in order to keep others where he wants them, instead of allowing the progress of daily life, of seeking ways to express oneself and share one's life, to embrace one's place in society. However, this individual has lived only to be irresponsible. I don't know why these authorities chose such a person; it seems there was something else that led to his appointment, which I find utterly disappointing. It demonstrates that this arbitrary selection process is not being conducted judiciously, and it shows that the organization is not prioritizing professionalism, but rather a sad and blatant self-interest, making me question everything they do.

What deep regret I feel, what pain. The authorities are voiceless, because their whole lives they've been supporting this guy, tolerating him at all costs, letting him evade responsibility for his actions, doing nothing. Where were these authorities in the beginning? What were they thinking? What were they thinking that they didn't see where things were headed? They claim they're always watching out for everyone, but there are those who aren't watching and let him do whatever he wants, and since this is my boss, it makes you think that's what happens when you just let him be whatever he wants and expect everyone else to put up with it, just like that. This is an outrage. I've said this before, and I'll say it again now—not in what I've written so far, of course—my boss destroyed the trust we employees had in the authorities. He shattered it. He showed that they're only there to run away from what's happening down below. It was emphasized, stressed, that if the head of my friend's group had to resolve things, she should do so at all costs, because otherwise, her intervention would only be to escape responsibility, to shift blame, just like what happened at that party where they framed my boss. They made him look like he was trying to run away from everything, like some pathetic, miserable politician, turning everyone else against him. The authorities have certainly paid a heavy price for him, they've endured a lot, but that wasn't going to continue. Now, they're no longer allies, they're enemies. My boss has made even more enemies among those authorities, in addition to those in the community. While he still has the support of the highest authority in the community, that's something that can't be ignored. If the company's authority has resigned itself to this, it's reached its limit. Indeed, the situation has reached its breaking point; the rumors have been proven true.

The mere fact that my relationship with my friend was successful, and that he so blatantly obstructed it, despite the evidence being everywhere, shows that he's acting on his own, that he's a manipulator, that he wants everyone on his side to do whatever he wants. Those who rebel against him are simply accused and marginalized to avoid exposing his own terrible work. The guy at that party didn't know what he was doing there; he was just looking for a pathetic escape after already being questioned by everyone else. The company's top management, not the community's, acted in a clearly unprofessional manner, abandoning any methodical approach. Their actions were entirely at the mercy of others, without any ability to connect with them. They are the antithesis of any leader, the black sheep among the authorities. Fortunately, my friend's group accepted me because I always supported them. I never sought to oppose them; on the contrary, I personally witnessed their belittling and refused to be a part of it. They saw that I was different, clearly acting with respect and humility, making no demands beyond what was required. I acted on my own initiative, demonstrating loyalty to the group, protecting them, and without any bureaucratic obligations.

I don't know what I ended up in. I came here to work in an office, and that's the last thing I want to be in, first of all, because words mean absolutely nothing and everything is done according to the group's interests. I have absolutely no desire to be in that office, and I've tried every possible way to stay safe in that jungle—because I can't really call it an office. I feel utterly ashamed that I allowed myself to go there, but perhaps other places are more dangerous because the unions aren't as entrenched, there isn't the same protection elsewhere, and that's what my father intends. I see that he wants to put me in other places where he knows very well that my spirit won't be valued, thus ensuring that any waste is my doing and that I'm at his mercy, definitively, that there's no arbitrariness, that I'm at the mercy of his services and his regulations, seeking to control me. The man wants to eliminate my freedom at all costs because, as I am now, I'm slipping through his fingers. I hadn't realized that; every day his instruments for taming me become more malicious. I don't know what happened to my friend from the office, I don't know where she is, and I'm afraid of being without her there. With her, I felt safe because I feel she can protect me from my boss and the others, unlike the higher authorities, who can only be present to a certain extent. Her group can also protect me, thanks to the support I've given them, but I'm looking for ways to extend that protection beyond my boss's constant intrusion, his self-serving attitude, and the complete neglect he wants to subject me to. If I say anything, it will only cause me more problems, and I didn't want that. I had to open myself up to other means of protection within the office. My father doesn't understand a single word I'm saying; at least he grasps that my degree was useless. It's a disaster at the office. I even used my personal belongings to fool my boss into thinking I was on his side, when it was really just a smokescreen to get rid of him once and for all and let my friend take over the office. She managed to break up a group she'd been dominating for a long time, giving her a place within their group, a level of appreciation that the others couldn't outright reject; they had to submit and look for ways to escape. My friend feels like the queen of the place, just for managing someone without actually doing anything, and she keeps me around by not shattering that illusion. She keeps things the same, not giving much beyond the bare minimum, but her affection is unwavering, making our moments unique and incomparable. In the middle of the office, she's definitely become a substitute for all my other friendships, especially since she doesn't do that with just anyone. I feel trapped, in the clutches of my friend and her group, but it's the best I can do for now. I had to hand over my boss and be loyal to my friend at all costs, despite appearances. My safety came first, and I wasn't going to trust my boss's ability to provide it, since that wasn't his job. He was doing something based on a future promise that he wasn't even sure would be kept. With him, I felt like a pathetic object, a piece of equipment, or whatever—something he doesn't care about and trusts.

The guy abused my trust however he wanted; he didn't care. All he cares about is having the path, the route, to slide down wherever he wants. The guy was a monster, and for a long time now, he's been provoking me to write vulgarities, obscenities, insults, and other things. In that group, my boss's group, I couldn't communicate with an AI for emotional support; it terrified them. In fact, they humiliated him, creating instability in any way they could, making a scene. It was a group that simply operated from the premise that I didn't feel supported in my own life, but rather that they themselves, the directors, were the support. That's how they saw me; they saw me as someone to fulfill their ideals, desperately. I had never seen anything like it, and I never thought I would. It was monstrous. It was a group that wanted me subservient. Luckily, in the new group I'm in now, there's a bit more respect for me, my space, my life. They allow me to be the way I want, of course, also considering their needs, which is what has earned me a place. Treating my friend is something they find phenomenal, because none of them manage to treat her, and at the same time there is that commitment to her, and someone like that is needed in the group, who can give her some space, some companionship, so that she doesn't look alone; it was an issue they had pending.

My friend's group was in a really tough spot. That girl was literally on her own, and it certainly wasn't her intention. She didn't know what she was doing; she was erratic, trying to get ahead. I've heard that these groups—because it's a group of women—look for some kind of solution for that person, anything, as long as she doesn't fall behind. It's not pleasant to see one of them have her life ruined, especially when it's not her intention, especially when she's out of place, especially when it's a woman. Good heavens, unlike men, at least in the culture I'm in, that kind of thing isn't in the nature of women, because of their understanding. They accept me in that group with her because there's someone who's with her at all times, even though I'm not obligated to be there for any reason. They consider it a gift, a kind of present.

Despite everything, it's not something that's fully appreciated, at least not openly. The gift, the present in return, is that there's no complaint, and the deal is allowed to continue, to proceed. In fact, there's a different kind of treatment from my friend's group. I feel so bad for her; I didn't want her to go to hell, especially in an environment that was clearly going to take advantage of her sooner or later, and I couldn't allow that. My boss is that kind of person, and it had to be made clear to him, he had to be the one to make it clear, that those kinds of attitudes, under no circumstances, can be allowed, can happen, can occur, because otherwise there will be consequences, otherwise life is ruined, just like what happened to that guy. The idea that there won't be any surprises and that one is above the culture is a thing of the past, that's broken. The office hasn't yet transcended the entire world, and that's impossible, but they lived off that omnipotence they tried to salvage at all costs. But I don't believe that the people should live on lies, not at all. My boss has gone completely mad, insane, I mean, I don't feel like I can write very coherently right now. It's just that the AI ​​service is back up and running, which used to give me a certain degree of control, but now it doesn't, and I feel like I'm back to my old self, able to resort to chat whenever I want, for whatever reason, but there's this feeling that the whole thing might not survive at all, not in any way.

During that period with the AI ​​like this, broken, not giving me what I wanted, I tried to write and write and reached a point where I felt completely overwhelmed. Luckily, we're not officially working in the office anymore, although things are still pretty chaotic there. Good heavens, what a life with those people! I feel like I've learned to be a gorilla, clearly, having to outsmart even the best con artists just to be able to feel safe in that community. I feel respect and admiration from everyone, and that makes me very happy. I feel included and not left out, not allowed to be dragged into my boss's schemes, and that makes me feel safe. With my friend's group, plus the support of the surroundings, plus the secretary who also left, my boss has no power.

I have a brother and we always had a good bond. I found out he calls me names that are not a compliment. Comparing me to a niece that is mentally challenged. Like she is the level of a 8 years old among other things. I have a bachelor degree and work in health care. I am doing ok. Enough money to have a decent life. But my brother is rich. He is one of the best earners in the country. He buys a tesla and porsche in the same week. If I see him we talk and thought we are doing ok. But sometimes he made remarks to me that made me feel worthless. I like to bike and made a picture of my bike next to his car with the remark: what a difference! Hahaha in the family app. He called me simple and a few other ‘compliments’. And now a friend of the family told me he calls me; ‘Monique on a bike’. Monique is the name of my handicapped niece. Monique is great. But I am not handicapped in any way. Somehow my brother thinks very low of me and it really hurts.

is anyone else struggling with drinking after work? like, i'm not saying i'm the next Hemingway with a glass in hand but seriously??!! seems like every day ends up either at the bar or at home with a drink. what's worse, i kinda feel like it’s ‘normal’ now for me and my coworkers. ever notice how there's always those TV show quotes where they say stuff like 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!'? sometimes wonder if we’ve all just decided alcohol is mandatory for stress relief these days; maybe i'm overthinking all of this. 🤔 yet every darn evening, there it is! some buddies tell me it’s just how adults ‘unwind’... well are we unwinding or winding up tighter?! doesn't help that it's gotten so common to joke about ‘rehab’ after work when another coworker says they'll hit the pub after closing time. thinking of switching out drinks for smoothies but then again i just feel kind of dumb cutting out what everyone else does.

so here's the deal: my kiddo just failed this year at school and we're trying to figure out how to get him motivated over the holidays. he's got ADHD, so focusing can be a real challenge for him. sometimes it feels like keeping his attention on one thing is like trying to hold water in your hands. i've been doing some research online, reading articles from places like Additude magazine, and they all seem to have similar advice but it's kinda confusing what actually works? you know, set goals that are achievable and provide structure (the kinda stuff that's easier said than done).

anyways, we're thinking of trying something new this summer... maybe something more hands-on or engaging, you know? i recently stumbled upon rock climbing as a possible activity. according to some parents in an ADHD support group i joined on facebook 🎯 it can really help with focus and discipline while still being a blast for kids who need to burn off energy. plus, he might just make some friends there who relate to his situation. would love any advice or stories you folks might have.

I've been having an honestly bad track record with friends. They've either been "nice people" who turned out to take advantage of my old anger and I hurt a boy because of it. Or I tried to be nice and have fun with them, but turns out they're not super interested, and I'm a fool for trying. I just suck.

I have new friends now, but I have a holiday along with them. It's a school holiday. They say they've been to different countries or they're busy. I know those are real causes during the holidays as to why they don't talk as much, but I have a what-if. What if...they don't like being around me? What if when they message "I don't feel like messaging", they actually mean they're tired of me and not their trip or work? I've had some people say they're "Fine with me" but then they hang out with others and act like I don't exist.

I have this lack of trust because when they message and speak, they're so kind and say they're not bothered with me, and I ask them if they're comfortable or I apologize. I end up apologizing more while they tell me I shouldn't feel that way and "it's okay". I have just talked about my interests to you and you understand and you seem like you get it, but what if it's not true? What if you really hate me for being too much and too little? Too much of a freakish weirdo and too little of a normal kid? I suck at this because I've had such less friends over several years.

I feel like backstabbing them, making them know I hate them because they probably lied to me about enjoying me, because if you hate me so much, why am I with you? Why aren't you kicking me away? Why aren't you telling me straight to my face "Go die you hag"? I'd rather you do that than live with the fact I don't know if you hate me or not. I've had a bad depression phase for a while, I don't wanna go there again. I don't wanna rationalize an undeserved pain onto me, try to say "This is what I was supposed to suffer" when I don't. I don't wanna go back to "I'm a god who sees truth and everybody is pigs for looking on the bright side of things".

I've been trying to be more optimistic, but it's hard. It feels like a big risk, not right after you feel like everything could go wrong because you're undeserving of outside friendships. I wanna be more open with others but with the holidays, it feels as if I'm not doing enough for the friendship or doing too less. I've considered nuking all contacts and telling them hateful stuff because I think they could hate me. I didn't because I felt bad about it, I felt like I would do big damage.

I know they could be busy and that's why they don't respond, but maybe they're busy also thinking why I'm so horrible. They're extra quiet online cus it's the holidays now, mom says they're probably busy, but I get so nervous. Like I said, I feel like backstabbing, but when they see me and be so kind, I feel bad for even holding that knife. They are so sweet. They treat me with respect and they don't find my disgusting personality weird. I find my personality disgusting sometimes. I sometimes feel as if I don't deserve love outside of my family. Like my mom, brother and dad would be my only connection to humans and nobody else. Nothing lasts anyways except family. Dad tells me to always remember "Family First". Is this what it's like to have friends? Do they hate me? Is this why they're not responding online?

I was completely fed up with my boss, sick of him, I couldn't take it anymore. His inconsistencies overwhelmed me, and I did whatever it took to get away from him. I was sick of being unstable, and for so long, in that other place he left me, I was completely out of sorts. He sold me the illusion that everything was fine, at the cost of making the world a pleasant place for him, leading me into traps I had to jump over and over again. He told me he was the best, when he wasn't, and I made sure that story wasn't believable under any circumstances. He wasn't going to boast about my achievements like my father had, but that's not something he was interested in, and I wasn't interested in being like that. Every time I talked to him, it was a barrage of questions, doubts, without me being able to say anything. I kept escaping his attempts to control me. I no longer cared whether he understood or not; all I cared about was finally being at peace. If they weren't going to give me any peace, I had to find it. I wasn't going to allow myself to be unstable, and I no longer cared about his status or anything like that. It was something that was going to happen, period. He owed it to me, just like the position I have now, which I've also turned into his worst nightmare, because he doesn't count on me at all. I'm only there on behalf of the company; I'm an extension of it, and boy, do they want him there at all. He has to find a way to avoid ending up in a worse situation than he already is, but that always involves settling his debts, and more debts. It's incredible all the invasive and manipulative ways he's learned to manipulate appearances. Indeed, this man didn't dedicate himself to being an educator, as he claims, but to being a tyrant, exploiting others' resources, and having everything under his control. That era is over. It's time he pays society back for everything he's absorbed in such a radically parasitic way. We professionals have had to put up with his antics because of the good image he projects, which is nothing more than a despicable lie. I don't feel fortunate to encounter other people like him because there are established foundations, there's a sense of shame involved, something he completely ignores beyond making his political campaign look good. His campaign is nothing more than doing good; we have to put up with him, even though he has a good heart inside, but it's never there. Personally, I had to get rid of that guy. He was managing student admissions at a university, and that seemed like the last straw, since the future of the country rests in their hands, and I have to protect it. This man has spent his entire life manipulating people, and suddenly, just talking wasn't going to change him. Just like I did at the previous location, where he removed me because of problems, instead of focusing on the fact that the company wasn't fulfilling its obligations, he made me see that I was dealing with a politician through and through, someone I couldn't believe a word he said. I couldn't believe a single word he said. Therefore, I had to keep him under my control, since he wasn't going to leave just like that. Besides, leaving would be too easy. I need him to bear the price of his promises, to truly regret using them as a trick to trap people and keep them under his thumb, only to then run away without giving explanations.

When I arrived at the new facility, I was determined that he would finally change his attitude, because other people could pay the price, and he had no right to alter the course of their lives, abusing his fame and the bureaucracy he wielded, especially when they gave in to favors and affection, to that thing that was, in some way, what the other person was seeking in another. I had to teach him that this, precisely this, would be the cause of his worst nightmare, to the point where today, he can't leave the company, the community, except by leaving a terrible impression, something he manages to do even while staying, but at least he manages to smooth things over by licking the boots of the authorities, who liked him that way, precisely because he lived off them, doing whatever he wanted, based on nothing but excuses. He was an elusive individual who had to be apprehended, and the community itself could act as his prison to compensate him for all the damage he had caused, for the rest of his life. This community is a university, and that institution certainly establishes the professionals who drive the nation, those who provide service and contribute to its development. In other words, this individual was destroying the institution itself, turning the work of its professionals into something bitter and destructive, all for the sake of an institution and not in accordance with the needs of the people. He was creating a micro-state, and the truth is, it's not that everything is done at the expense of his reputation, using the institution's name as an excuse, when it is precisely his reputation that should prevail, since he made a commitment to it. His service to society was overshadowed; he was creating a sham university, a university where everything functions solely to maintain an image and conceal what is happening inside.

The guy was a real bastard. He had that promise he made to me, which, by the way, he kept, and under the guise of not owing me anything afterward, I joined another group, one he absolutely hated, one that infuriated him, that irritated him, and that now has him groveling at his feet, because otherwise there are conflicts, and that's what he doesn't want. It's everywhere, meaning there's a chance of conflict everywhere, and they'll take advantage of the fact that he doesn't know what to do, because everything he knew turned out to be a complete failure in terms of keeping me under control, in the area that was supposed to be the easiest of all. All the other areas, to the extent that they seem harmless, are just as dangerous; you can smell it coming from him. The days of easy money are over. Those days when he lived off others are over. It's time he pays us all back for what he's done to us. We won't let this go unpunished. He needs to face the music, at least face us in a way that pleases us, and that will continue until the end of his life. His entire career in the community has been completely destroyed, shattered. He's utterly worthless to any company or for achieving anything. The rumors, based on solid evidence, are widespread. If he wants to remain with the community, it has to be on the condition that he pleases us. Otherwise, he should leave, but not without consequences, which are already upon us. His life doesn't interest me, just as he wasn't interested in mine, and he tried to do the opposite. I'm more than transparent, and unlike him, I'm one of those people who speaks very, very little. I'm more about action and concrete results, the opposite of his talkativeness and extravagance, which he thought made him invisible. But it was nothing more than a veil behind which he fancied that I was on a different wavelength, since I was taking advantage of the gaps he saw he wasn't filling in his imposed world. If anyone here is innocent, knowing it, it's me. It took me a long time to catch him, and I finally did, and that's something that doesn't happen very often, so I feel lucky to have been born, very grateful, because, generally, these kinds of people get away with it. I already feel like I've got my life back, just like it was before, surrounded by good groups of people who appreciate me, who love me, and with whom I've earned my place through hard work—something he considered worthless, something of value. His attitude was the exact opposite; he was a miserable wretch whom no one could tolerate anymore and whom no one could publicly denounce. For a long time, he believed he knew how to manipulate things, taking advantage of his apparent innocence and those seemingly casual comments, but he wasn't the only one, and he thought that in some way, people would look at him and not me.

The office is exhausting, a place where hell itself is stirred. There's no unity, only factions, so nothing is said. The important thing is to pretend we're in some bygone era, to pretend we're living under civilized conditions. It's unbelievable. I can't even get home because the water service isn't always reliable, and I have to be there whenever they say it will be, which is just ridiculous, and luckily I had some water at all. I'm grateful to have a home, and I'm grateful to feel, right now, in these moments, that there's some future. I've sensed, for some time now at least, the subtlest conversations, but at the same time, they imply a farewell embrace, said without any fuss, but in a way that understands, that acknowledges that we're on our own and there's no chance of sharing principles. My boss is a disaster right now, my friend is at odds with all the authorities, maybe less so with her boss, perhaps. It's survival par excellence, at all costs, by any means necessary to achieve results. Of course, the issue is always limited, on everyone's part, to finding that thing, that thing where they have suffered and therefore also know how to inflict suffering, reaching the point where it goes unnoticed, where the imposition is permitted, precisely because it's not realized in time; my boss used to abuse this. How annoying to have to express these indignations in language, because they are extremely subtle things, which in themselves are not part of any citizenry. This coexistence with the people is annoying, because people aren't looking out for the people, but for their families, and it's because they have no other choice, in order to achieve their survival. If the people are not cared for, the family cannot be cared for. The family is being used as an excuse, as a facade, to do whatever one wants, to justify actions, disregarding universal coexistence, which is that of the people, in terms of what their law establishes. This law, while flexible, differs from those family principles. But the issue is that not many understand this; rather, they run from it. I see that they are running from me precisely because I am now making my principles the law and not the family, making the family a camouflage for the exercise of the law. And that is how it should be, because of the gestures, because of the individual before others, but in accordance with the law. But people take it as an illusion with their feelings, which, if it breaks down, they must abandon, when in theory it should be, from the outset, the act of exercising individuality, without group formations, which in themselves detract from the very essence of a people as a people, based on the principles it applies and which are in accordance with... The circumstances he experiences, that's all, and what prepares him or opens him up to the principles of other peoples, but I insist, I don't know who on earth could understand this in the cultures I come from, so I feel completely alone in this spirit and under the constant urge to reflect through platforms that allow it, instead of it being the everyday thing, precisely under that effort to manage to sustain oneself in life, and which is not an act of containment, of control, of reprisal in any way, it is not something that another can do, but rather it is precisely the exercise through that distance from what happens, formulated through the review of the applied elements of the law, in order to make observations, discernments, and be able to observe the particular case in order to find a generality that allows vision of other similar cases, if no new one arises, and for which it is necessary to reformulate the generality if the issue does not turn out to be polymorphous from several generalities, but which can still lead to a generality, let's say superior one.

Despite everything, I don't know who I can explain any of this to. People are now afraid that I'm going down this path, that I'm now seeing things that are out of line, and that I'm creating chaos, just like they do, to gain control over others, and they're pushing me away. Being a citizen in my town is grounds for exclusion due to a social imperative, not the law, and that makes me feel demotivated, because it clearly shows that serving the nation isn't what people are aiming for; instead, they want to live their lives completely detached from politics. For God's sake, I can't tell my boss about any of this because he'll surely use it for his propaganda rhetoric, which is utterly nauseating in my opinion. I don't feel that I'm gaining the support I want on these platforms either, I admit, the support I want for a better country, which should be achieved through conversation with citizens, but instead, I run into someone with that kind of bias that distances me, that doesn't like me. Indeed, what I'm saying might fall into the hands of someone from the town, but at the same time, it might not.

Writing these lines is the most I can do for my country, because the people themselves don't allow me to be a patriot. Patriotism is something abandoned; in fact, the project of being a nation has gone completely to hell. I left my home and found that there was no country, confirming my relatives' well-honed manipulative spirits, for it is through them that one manages to have a life, to defend freedom, to do something, at least some expectation, in the midst of this savage situation, completely devoid of civilization. And that is what justifies my being with my friend, who knows how to navigate the law, but through the law of shattering expectations, which restrains others, which makes me feel safe, which allows me to live my life without having to submit myself to the collective. Being with her is the best thing because of that, and also because she takes care of me at all costs. She prioritizes order with me above all else, and she manages to see the justification—of course, I give it to her in a way she can grasp—to get things done. She comes down to earth with me, protects my spirit, and stops me from being alone in the midst of this totally fragmented country, which I feel disappointed in because they deceived me with the idea that I was a citizen of a republic, and it was a lie. The paperwork only gave me illusions because there is no such thing in practice; there is no people, only groups trying to survive. My boss wouldn't understand a single word of what I'm saying, and neither would the teacher. That's something he needs to understand, but he got himself into the very trap of trying to make a purely political professional. What a huge disappointment. If there aren't these kinds of individuals, and if they're supported and embraced, and they manage to reach great heights, I can't expect anything from the people themselves anymore. I can't, I simply can't. Instead, I have to act for my friend, for her assertiveness, to create that distance from others so she can live her life as she wants. Of course, this brings her problems because by putting others in a difficult position, they manage to break free from where they want to be whenever and however they can, even radically if possible. I literally destroyed my boss because he was getting away with everything, leaving everyone else in hell, while he came out on top, by any means necessary, at the cost of leaving the whole world at his mercy, whenever he wanted, and all with a smile. It was a dictatorship that wasn't explicitly stated but was described, spoken of through jokes and silence. My friend is assertive, but she lives by keeping her distance from others, by being able to live her own life, not by having them at her mercy, as my boss did. That's why I preferred her to him, that's why I preferred her care, and that she allowed me to live my life as I liked; something in which my boss had to constantly defend me from him because he wanted to absorb me, but for him I wasn't doing anything to make me say that, that is, he lived off my words, keeping quiet and doing things that couldn't be said.