Life Stories and Everyday Drama

Hi, just call me X. This is my first time venting. I found this online space in my desperation to find somewhere I could just shout everything out. At least, even if it’s virtual, it feels like a release. I’ll also be honest—I’m using ChatGPT to refine my sentences so they’re clearer for anyone who might read this and find it relatable. I might be posting more, who knows?

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try to change, no one around you notices or cares? It’s exhausting to keep adjusting yourself, hoping to meet their expectations, only to have them keep seeing you as the same person you were before. Even the people you trust the most—the ones who should understand—seem stuck on who they think you are. It’s like they’ve decided they know you too well, so every action you take gets misinterpreted through that lens. You’re out here making all this effort to grow and meet their needs, but it feels like no one even acknowledges how much you're trying. It’s draining, and honestly, it makes you wonder if it’s even worth it.

Ok so I’m 15 and my grandmother makes me take a bunch of alternative medicines and vitamins and mainly stuff with ashwagandha in it and since she’s been making me take these things with ashwagandha I’ve had absolutely horrible emotional numbness so much to the point were my childhood cat passed away and the very next day we got another cat I only felt a very small amount of sadness and it was very confusing I thought I was a bad person for not feeling incredibly sad and I just it is so bad I genuinely don’t feel sad or happy or just anything now and I’ve been having very frequent headaches and it sucks but literally just tonight when I saw that my stuff to help me sleep has ashwagandha in it I decided to look it up and wow for the first time in a long time I don’t feel like I’m insane I feel like I’ve lost a couple years of my life but tomorrow I’m going to show my grandma the research I’ve done and tell her I won’t be taking anything with ashwagandha in it anymore. Wish me luck .

Growing up, I thought that I had ambition to pursue whatever it is that I wanted. I bought into the illusion that if I evolved into an educated person, I could succeed in whatever I do. That was when I thought all else was equal.

As I grew older, the more I learned about my place in the world. After I reached for my family's tax returns to file for college financial aid, I became almost obsessively aware of poor we were and how much I was so much different my peers at school. I did a good job of hiding it, but I was deeply insecure of how my background compared to other people. This shame carried onto my time in college, where I became reclusive because of my own comparison of myself with the people I met.

My family has never really went on a vacation; we own a house so small that my brother has to set his bed in the living room; our house freezes in the winter because of window drafts and high heating costs; I purposely stay on campus longer than I need to so that I don't have to feel cold at home; my dad has a gambling addiction. In elementary school, I stole books because books were too expensive to purchase; we don't celebrate my family members' birthdays or any major holidays because of the expenses.

Themore and more time goes by, I feel my self-confidence slipping as I compare myself with other people. It feels like my starting line is below sea level, and I'm drowning.

so today my brother asked my dad if it was fine for him to go to the beach with my mom instead of going to the gathering with my dad. my dad for some reason flipped out and got so angry. he called my mom and screamed at her for 1-2 hours. my mom was already at the beach but didn’t have time to enjoy anything whatsoever. later on the dinner table my dad was telling my siblings and i about how his dad (my grandfather) threw a hammer at him for disrespecting him. my dad explained saying “i never once regretted what my father did to me because it made me a real “man””. he went to the nearby table where my brother placed his electronics, picked his nintendo up and slammed it into the ground. everything shattered and my siblings and i were so shocked and scared. my mom as well. some of my sisters started crying and yelling at my dad which caused me to cry aswell. my dad took my brothers phone and slammed it on the floor aswell. my dad acted shocked that we were crying. he said we are over reacting and whatever. they explained to him that these aren’t normal things that he is doing. and that we have been suffering from him ever since we were kids. he told us to say what was in our hearts. what we have been holding for our entire life. when it came to me? i just couldn’t say anything. i told him that. that i have nothing to say. but in reality i wanted to tell him i much i hated him and how much i wanted him to die. but based on what he did to my sisters. i know if i say something he will just keep going and trying to make me the wrong one. when it came to my youngest sister to speak she said that what he is doing is so childish. my dad looked like he wanted to kill her. talking about how “rude” she is. mind you we were all crying at this point. after everything that happened he took the rest of my brothers electronics and went down to his office. we started bursting into tears next to our mother and then we heard a slam, then another. he actually broke my brothers ipad and playstation. we went to my oldest sister’s room and stayed there while my mother went to talk to my dad. we sat for about 40 minutes when he came up to the room and sat down acting like he did nothing wrong. talked to us calmly. about how he wont changed. and this is our luck that we got a dad like him. before he left he told my brother that he will take my brother’s tv and break it as well. he also said that what happened and what we did to stand up for my brother is “wrong” and that we should repent. my mom later went down to the living room to go away from all the disasters but my dad followed her there and started fighting again. this is when i’m writing this. it’s currently 3am and all i hear is screaming. tbh i’m kind of relieved to hear my mom scream. i’m always scared that one day it will stop. and i would come down with her laying on the floor with blood everywhere. i just feel like my dad would do something like that.

in my dad’s defense he said that my brother is not a “man” because he can’t “talk/speak” well like the other kids. but then he told my sister that she should stop comparing him to other dads because it will only bring her pain. and i’ve had a habit of recording anytime my dad screams. so as soon as he started i hid my phone under the table and recorded everything. as you can tell it’s not his first time doing something like this. not to this extent ofc but once when my brother was 9-10 my dad wanted to teach him how to ride a bicycle. after a while of my brother failing my dad hit him over and over until my brother peed himself.

i’m so tired. so tired. i’m still i minor and so are my siblings except my oldest sister. my dad claims that what he is doing is the right way of teaching us. he sees us as a disappointment. i don’t know what to do. my mother tried divorcing so many times but she couldn’t. i’m dying inside. i want to die and end it all. but then again. i would bring shame to this family for killing myself. because in my dad’s eyes, he did mothing wrong.

so tell me is my dad wrong? is he abusive? if so what kind? am i being brainwashed washed into thinking this is the only right way? what can i do to stop this? i’m so tired and i son’t know what to do.

My partner and I are in our mid-20s and just everything is going wrong. We've been arguing for the last three days. They haven't let me near them since then. And now they say because I did nothing to "fix" it, they are done with the relationship. I did do things, I offered so many things as well, but none of it mattered. They didn't want any of it, it didn't mean anything to them. They don't feel loved and it's all my fault.

I've been with my partner for over 6 years. 4 years ago we moved into his mother's home with a promise from her that she would move out in a few months and that her house would be ours. It's now been almost 4 years and she's still here. Worst part is that she has a partner that is so disgusting. Like goes through the trash to find food disgusting. Anyway, in these 4 years she has made my life a living hell. Anything I try to fix or move or make my own she literally destroys or moves in order to make me angry. She tries to make it very clear that she's the one in charge. I honestly really do hate her. I have never in my life hated someone and to be brutally honest with you all I wish she would drop dead. There's so much in between that I could tell you all...but I also struggle with mental health issues and she's very old fashioned. She's very racist and is stuck in her ways. She doesn't even think mental health is real...she's just an ignorant, horrible woman. I cry myself to sleep alot. My relationship with my partner is really just non existent. He doesn't see what his mother has done to us...and unfortunately I am not financially stable enough to go be on my own. I'm struggling so much. Trying to be faithful to someone who in my eyes doesn't appreciate me and doesn't hear me out...I'm just so tired and sitting here now crying as I write this makes me realize that I deserve better. All I ever wanted was someone to love and to love in return. All I ever wanted was privacy and space in my own home. This house is not a home. This house is a prison.

so I'm bisexual and have been for a bit and last year I made friends with people and I really liked them and we got along well kinda I never really talked and was always left out but after a while around January of 2024 I found out they were calling me a F@ggot and a queer and I was forcing them to be my friend and I was weird and it took a toll on my already bad mental health and I stopped talking to them but then they acted like they have never met me and they didn't sh!t talk me

I am not a good person. At all. That's all i can't think about. I can't move i can't do anything all i can't think about Is that i ruined so much for so many people. I can't stop imagining just how much better things would be If i wasn't here. I ruin everything no matter how much i try. Everytime i mess up and ruin everything for everybody. I'm too scared to get out of this bathroom, i'm too scared of everything that Is going to happen. Everything Is so overwhelming. There's so much work and so many tests. I don't have the capabilities for this. I can't make It. I don't even know how i made It here. Three years ago i had promised myself it would be different. I promised myself that these years would be different, that this school would be different, that i would be different. And i tried i really tryed to keep that promise but i failed. I fell back into the same spiral. I broke my promise. I dissapointed everyone including myself. My grades a crashing. Everyone hates me. And i'm ruining the relationship ship i had with the one friend i had after i gave my all to be friend her for two years and a half. Right now i Just want to stay in this bathroom and stare at wall. And just never get out. I Just want to hide. Dissapear. It would be better for everyone If i wasn't here.

Before the school year ended, I tried to run for a leadership position in our school, specifically the head role of our organization. I attained it by winning the elections, and I was the only one who ran for it. And obviously, I was the one who was going to win because of it. Afterwards, I represented my org for 4 months and didn't plan to resign because I actually found my passion in this position. I planned projects, organized the turnover files, and assisted my organization in its events. I also was able to appoint my secretary, which took me a while for some reason. Everything was going fine and smooth not until I did something that violated one of the school rules. It was before entrance exams, I was struggling to get resources for my review and due to pressure I did something out of desperation. I snuck a book from the library inside my bag and tried to keep it at home. I was caught by the alarms just as when I was about to go out. I returned it as soon as possible and was anxious on what happened. Due to this, I was obliged to undergo a disciplinary intervention for three days. Just as when I thought everything is going to be fine after I finished this, the council moderators was also informed about the incident. And because of the council rules, anyone who committed something like this should be relieved from the leadership position. I was so disappointed and hated myself for few weeks. Then, the council moderator decided to have a meeting with me and my fellow officers about the position being vacant. I just said to them that I resigned, no other explanation. But deep inside, I let them down. I know I could have done better. I know I could have avoided that situation. Fortunately enough, they still value me, but not all of them. Some of them lost respect for me because I am not the head anymore, and it was all so sudden. I am also having a hard time detaching myself because I also want to contribute and compensate after I stepped down. It all goes back and forth. I really shouldn't have ran for the position in the first place. I hear voices like these. I didn't even deserve my position and that I was only there for a show. I didn't even achieve the projects I have in mind. How can I even move forward? Yes, I want to volunteer and help my core officers but everytime I do so, I hear voices that why am I still here? It's my last semester in this school and it's hard to feel this way everyday, especially since I lost my confidence at the same time I lost my position.

My stupid fucking friend hasn't responded to me in 15 days now. I know people are busy, but is it so fucking hard to just have a conversation every now and then? Fucking piece of shit.

We've had a rocky relationship that last 2 years since I've had our daughter, I guess I started getting insecure when our talks of our future went from "I want our wedding to look like this" "I want another baby" to him telling me "I just don't feel like marriage is important" "I don't know if I want another baby". So we've had a lot of problems since I've had our daughter him being distant, me feeling like I'm just a servant or maid being a stay at home mom. What has happened recently back in July 2024 I broke my ankle BAD I need surgery for screws and a plate, well we originally were living in Las Vegas we planned to move to California so he could be closer to his family and friends but not until March 2025. Once I broke my ankle I couldn't work, we lost our apartment, we couldn't live off one income by ourselves and we had just moved out of his mom's house since I started working again and we could afford it. Well after I broke my ankle he decided that we could move to California sooner but the problem was he would be taking himself and the baby first until I was done with my ortho appointments. It was a really tough time for me, I had to stay with my family that abused me in my childhood until I was done with appointments. We had countless arguments because he made so many promises to me before he left and broke them he told me he would come down with the baby twice a month to visit once he started work and I was there for 2 months and he never came. I would plan something and he always had "something come up". Finally I move down he had started a new job and he just started a better one recently but he was only at this other job for 2 months. During that time he had become very close to this one female coworker, I'm not the jealous type but something about their relationship made me uncomfortable. He was distant, always on his phone, never being present when he was home to spend time with our daughter or me. This one day rose some red flags he had to work morning shift I started waking up that morning because he was on the phone talking to this one coworker, he hung up FAST when me and the baby started moving. Well that same night it was after midnight we were just done having some "alone time" I got up to go to the restroom and when I came back he was talking to her on the phone when he noticed me coming out he quickly changed the subject, when I asked why he was talking to a coworker he just saw that day after 12:30 am he got defensive and said she was wondering how this stressful situation at work happened. Okay whatever I'm still in denial at this point but it kept bothering me. Last night I wrote a whole letter (I don't do well with confrontation) explaining my feelings and how I felt their relationship was weird and inappropriate (he stopped working there 3 days earlier but she still called him to "vent" about her day) he had nothing to say to what I was saying. Then he starts crying saying he's tired of trying and nothing working for our relationship I explained to him I'm only asking for him to talk to me more about his feelings and to be honest. He kept saying everything and anything other than explaining their relationship. So I reminded him I said "you haven't said anything about this ex coworker" he tried coming up with an excuse saying she's been married and divorced and has "experience" in relationship issues. I told him that he's only known her two months he doesn't even talk to his best friends about problems he might have about us and surely not to me, so I told him it's really weird to be replying on relationship advice from someone you hardly know and who I don't know at all. I told him "if you can't be truthful with words then I need to see the texts" he told me that's not a good idea.....that they've been flirting a lot for a few weeks now and it will upset me too much reading them...he denied it being physical YET but when I asked him if he's gone out with her when he told me he was somewhere else he said yes. That yesterday when he told me he was still at work he was actually already done and had a lunch date with her...it's really upsetting to me because he just moved me away from all family and friends I had 2 months ago to a state I've never lived in, I don't start work for another week and am currently a sahm, I don't have a vehicle because the last 5 years he's always made excuses as to why I don't need one. So he broke up with me, confessed to emotional cheating, and left me with no transportation or money...what do I do

As long as I can remember my parents were big drinkers and were almost always high on drugs. Thi sled them to having a bad tempe. If I were to do something as a kid, they would get pissed off and start throwing thingsand yelling. I remember one night, I believe I was 9 when I was playing with my cup that I finished drinking the water out of. My parents had just came back from the bar, around 3:00 am. They were drunk and I remembered they’re eyes being bloodshot red. I was using my cup to set on my head for fun but it made them mad. They told me to, “shut the hell up, you mistake.” I quote.

I feel like every guy that i talk to see me as like their last option.I mean i do not have any complaints about my looks or anything but idk why sometimes i feel desperate for pure love and affection and nobody has ever looked at me in that way even tho i feel like im averagely pretty idk.

ok, so, i have scooter that i got in june at it did not have buzzer for indicator and i like it that way i hate the annoying beep beep sound. and my cousin recently her scooter and it also did not had buzzer but she got that beep beep sound installed to her scooter and now her mom was forcing me to get it done to my scooter too. i said no, i don't want it and she was no get it done and my mother did not took my side there. and now her father took my scooter to get it install in my scooter. i am just frustrated that it is my freaking u am going to drive it then why the fuck you want to make decision about it

Hello. I just been wanting to get a lot of stuff of my chest lately. Not much people I can talk to about. Actually, none.

I envy a lot of people. People who have their life together, people who are able to express theirselves freely, people who are productive. People. I cant seem to be the best version of myself. How hard I try. To put it short, I am a lazy, priviliged, selfish person. I put a mask on to fit in society, maybe to feel properly loved. It seems even they dont want my mask. I wanna give up. Why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to fit in, to be myself, to bask in freedom? I know my cries are meaningless. Other people have it worse, anyway.

Life... Isnt the way I pictured it to be. I dont want to be this person anymore. Why should it be so hard? Why cant I be a better person? Im just a piece of trash on the sidewalk.