Life Stories and Everyday Drama

Okay so basically, I live in the same estate as this girl who goes to my school and she's 1 year older than me, lets call her Y. we only became friends recently and we've also started carpooling to school. I also have this other friend, E who also lives in the estate, Y, E, and me are a trio. there's also 3 other people in our friend group, but they dont go outside as much so it's mostly just my trio.

Theres this thing in our estate that is kind of a shelter for the rain, and somehow E figured out how to climb up on it. eventually, everyone except me knew how to climb up on it. this thing was pretty tall, and im super scared of heights, so I never went up on it. I would always feel super left out when they climbed up on it, and they would never acknowledge me when they were up together.

sometime I got the guts to climb up onto it and I succeeded, only thing was I didnt know how to get down, but I figured that out too after a bit of help. unfortunately, I started forgetting how to climb down, so I never went up on it again after they had to get my dad to get me down.

one day, it's a hot summer day on a Sunday and were all hanging out, then they all go up onto the thing and tell me that if I can tag them, they'll give me €40, I obviously didn't like this game very much since it made me feel like they were making fun of me for not being able to get up. so then I felt that I was going to cry, so I went over to E's bike and started going around the estate on it so they wouldn't see me. (E gave me permission to use it btw) after I got back they started whispering, saying that I look kind of sad, and I hate looking sad infront of my friends bc it makes me feel pathetic, so I told them that I was fine. at that point I was on the verge of tears, so I went another lap on the bike. once I got back, I had finally calmed down and I saw that E and Y had gotten off of the thing, and when was about to go over to them, they ran away from me. so then everything came back all at once so I did another lap around the estate and went to the estate playground and left my friends bike there, bc I saw my friends. so then I went into another estate, and they followed me. I ran away from them bc I knew I would cry if I went up to them. soon enough, they went back to the estate. after a few mins of hiding I did the same, and I saw them going into the other estate (to search for me i guess) they didn't see me though.

Then i saw E's mom walking over to me asking where E went, and I pointed to the other estate. When E and Y came back with E's mom they went straight back to their houses.

when i went home I texted Y on discord and I told her that i was sorry for overreacting. I didn't expect much from her, but I expected a little sorry. she said "ya we got into trouble cuz we were worried abt you". we did make up the next day, but i thought of that message for so long.

fast forward to Tuesday, we're playing a game on the fake grass, where we have to take off everyone's socks. Y and E hit my boob while taking off my socks. I felt myself start crying, but then I realised how pathetic I looked, so I replaced the pain with anger and hit Y in the boob. while I was trying to hit Emma in the boob she fell on her back, that was when I should've stopped, but I didn't. I hit her in the boob. she was crying, and she went back inside, I didn't get a chance to say sorry to her.

I wish that I would've done something different in that situation, I wish that I would've just finally opened up for once. the next day was my last day until I was going on holidays. Y said sorry to me at school, and I asked her if she could say sorry to E for me since they had tennis together, she told me to do it myself, I couldn't bring myself to knock on her door, not after what I did. Now I'm gone on holidays for the next 2 months, and I won't be able to talk to Y at school, bc she has transition year. the only text that Y has sent me was "hope you have a fun time in hungary!" and that was 6 days ago. I don't know what to text her. shes also gone on holidays so she can't tell E that im sorry.

I just feel like such a coward and a bad friend.

(pls tell me what to text Y in the comments)

Well, where do I start first off all my uncle had sexual assaulted me when I was either 4 or 3 I don’t know how I remembered it but yeah it feels almost like a dream but I am very sure it definitely wasn’t because it was too realistic. Well it had gone on for a month until he got married(🤢) thankfully I haven’t seen him in like 3 or 4 years, now my whole life has been reflected on that which sucked when I found out what SA and r#pe was. And yeah now I struggle in studies and my mom read my diary in which I wrote down what had happened (that sucked too), and she told me not tell anyone especially my relatives(🥀) she told my dad after I requested not too.that’s all thanks

I feel terrible because I'm not spending my day with her. It's a holiday, and we're not going out for drinks or anything. This whole "each of us doing our own thing" thing bothers me, and I don't want it to be this way. I want to be with her, I want to experience things together, kiss her, have sex with her, go out, and do other romantic things. She's a very special girl to me, the one who has won my heart. I met her at the office, but I'm not willing to let things end there; I'm not willing to let her go. She's the one I want to marry. I hadn't planned it at all, but I don't care. I want to build a life with her. Just one touch between us, a light kiss on the cheek, done completely naturally, told me everything, absolutely everything: that she's the one, that she's my soulmate.

I can't imagine a life without her. Personally, I don't care at all what people at the office think. I don't care about our differences, not at all. I don't even care that she has terrible social skills, that she's the most annoying person in the office. I feel like we share something special; we've been through a lot together, and that can't end there. I'm fed up with her seriousness, with that thing that makes her always stand on the sidelines. I know she came to the office with a certain idea, just work, but the answer is no. Our feelings speak of something else entirely. This isn't just work; in fact, there's nothing that connects us, so there's no excuse to say this is just an illusion. What we've experienced is definitely the story of two strangers, no shortcuts, who were drawn to each other, and she certainly didn't want to let it go, and she never did. In fact, no matter what, even if she denies it, even if she hasn't said anything, without a doubt, we're dating, definitely. Nothing has been said, but that's what I feel.

We're dating because our moments together are unique, private, understood only by us, and they fill us in our own way, setting us apart from all the other relationships around us. She's the love of my life, the only one who has truly won me over, the only one with whom I haven't felt the weight of being alone. We're in this together, we've risked everything, facing life's unpredictability. I feel like we don't even need to do anything, just wait for things to happen, like we always have. It's no secret at the office what we have, that I fought against my coworkers' insistence on maintaining a united front, which, to begin with, wasn't really there. I fought for her for something real, something established, something well-built. She protects us, literally, with her life, as if there were no tomorrow, and with everyone else, she keeps them at a distance, at bay, never talking about life's misfortunes. Not with me, though; it's all just pure sweetness. Indeed, to be with her, like me, you have to earn it, you have to face challenges, fears, the fact that she's no longer just meeting expectations, but revealing her feelings.

I think I can say, with all due respect, that I'm crazy about her, that I can't live without her, and I hope this isn't seen as obsession. I mean, I want to say it, I'm fed up with this censorship of language that translates into a normality no one believes in, that instead threatens outbursts of violence. I don't care if they understand it at the office or not, I love her and she's my girlfriend, that's how I see her. In part, I have to admit that I'm extremely happy with how things have turned out with her; I've never felt so special, so cherished, so loved, so valued in my entire life. It's as if we were husband and wife. I really needed to say all of the above to somehow unblock myself regarding those thoughts and settle into the present, under what little agreement there is, which is essentially nothing. I feel that I would never, ever make an agreement with her, and that working with her is dangerous, personally, because you can't have any conflicts with her, otherwise strange things will start happening.

With her, having something like that based on agreements is a recipe for instability. That favoritism, that manipulation, those standards—it's a beautiful thing I'd rather never deal with. I prefer my relationship with her to be discreet, comfortable, intimate, and where I'm allowed to make mistakes, not confined by any standards. I mean, I don't feel pressured by her in any way. In fact, I'm grateful that she has me blocked everywhere right now, because there's no way to make any assumptions about what she expects regarding the treatment, which in fact, after a certain standard treatment from her, she does have certain expectations and it's not crazy to say that she thinks about things that one doesn't.

I can't deny it, to me that girl seems like a danger par excellence. I don't like her at all, and that's why I've preferred a daily relationship, where there's a real, divine, delightful connection, where we feel each other and act with absolute respect, not in a routine intrusion, not in a situation where we're caught between a rock and a hard place, as they do with others. She never tried that with me, and that's precisely why I decided to make this happen, because, in fact, I was tremendously grateful for her respectful, inclusive, and welcoming treatment when I arrived at the office. That definitely couldn't stay that way, and that's why I fought to get to the point I've described. She, I can say from my own perspective, deserved it, and in fact, I'm willing to go as far as she wants. Not just anyone would treat me that way, and in fact, she broke through that mold of distance that others had with me. It was definitely worth it.

The others didn't understand; instead, they chose to take action to distance her from me, considering it an act of manipulation or something like that. It was a game with her feelings, and that's why I stood up to them, to the point that now at the office I feel completely with her, not with any other group, simply setting aside the prejudices that bureaucracy imposes on us. We've overcome many difficulties, and even though the diagnosis was that we would be fired, we categorically refused and are doing everything we can to maintain that stance. The environment doesn't dictate our relationships; we do. The environment doesn't tell us how to be; we do. The days of abandoning our feelings for others to move on with life, thus abandoning them, are over. It happened to us once, not twice. I feel proud to be by his side, to feel that I'm with someone who truly stands up for himself, fully defending his environment, on his own terms, from his own individuality. I foresee a prosperous future between us, because I feel a bond between us, before the world, and therefore one that can endure. A place to rest.

sorry if this would be boring or unwitty to read or post, but i just need to vent out frustrations built over time like an architectural ancient wall. Anyways.. so here is it. My kins are far from the type of being a emotionally regulated and healthily supportive thing. Yeah, support may be felt and seen but its obligatory and not something that's rooted from actual empathy or sensitivity or whatever the positivity term. Toxicity overpowers it by having these heavily implied and deeply rooted sense of expectations that just because youve raised a separate human being in the modern times from your own means they must be characteristically and ideally better because the living situations they're in is far better than what they''ve been through. That survival skills automatically equates with the extent of "modernity and advancement of the world"" and that you suffer LESS. Is it obvious if i'm gonna say nobody actually knows me in my family. All they know is what i try to imitate, and what they want to see. Because they hated seeing imperfections. Which, in an atomical sense, makes up 80% of me as a person. Even if i want to explain things they wouldn't get to my shoes and just start being a "role model", saying you must do this and that. But actually.... it is very hard. I didnt even signed up for this life lol. I tried but everytime i do i just feel more and more close to the fact that i am far from being an actual perfect person. YEs, i understand nobody is perfect. Yes i understand everybody makes mistakes. But, i dont understand why actual misundersttood people, if they ever gets exposed, gets extremely unsupported and treated like trash generally... those advocacies never work to change people's perspectives. Because people dont literally experience the shoes of another person's life in reality. There are a lot of things i want to explain but i cannot type all of it into a coherent and readable paragrpah. I judt feel like i was born to experience humiliation, shame, grief, repeatedly. Also, i do wanna get therapy so much but it costs a lot and im a frikin college burden still. I want to work but how can i even take the step if the road always has sinkholes i cannot avoid and nobody dares go to? i'm in a pit where i can only tell i'm fine. but who really caresif i'm not. Everyone else just cares about results... I can't make it.. i'm struggling. I want help. I need help. I can only hug myself in darkness. I can only see myself d34d. I do not want anymore negativity to cling to me but even when i'm in light its too dim to tell where i am. Where do i even see myself six months from now? I may have survived a lot of things but at what cost? More humiliation? MOre trials for me to fail? I hope not. I need change...I need ... I need to actually feel a sense of hope down to my bones... I feel so disgusted at myself.

been thinking lately, how can one find solace in being alone? it seems like everywhere i look people emphasize the importance of having friends, but what if you don't have those connections readily available? i reckon it's not the end of the world, and maybe there's a way to be truly content without needing others around constantly. i'm not saying isolation is bliss, no way, but is there a method to enjoy your own company so thoroughly that the lack of companionship doesn't sting as much?

so i've been trying a few things myself, like diving into hobbies that bring genuine joy. perhaps it's about creating an environment where i'm comfortable enough with myself that loneliness turns into solitude... there's a subtle difference there i believe. it is quite fascinating how watching your favorite movie or reading an intriguing book can provide just as much satisfaction as any social interaction.

i suppose it's also about maintaining a positive mindset. sure, social media makes everything seem grander than it actually is, ultimately leaving us feeling left out. but maybe if we shift focus inward and cherish self-growth or personal achievements no matter how small they might appear, we could redefine happiness and feel complete even when alone.

everything i do is wrong! when i say everything... i mean EVERYTHING!!! i've been married to my wife for five years now. at first, everything was smooth sailing. but these past two years? it's like i'm living in a different universe. whatever i say or do seems to be the incorrect choice in her eyes; nothing pleases her! there's an ongoing feeling of inadequacy encroaching my every move!! it's exhausting trying to keep up with her expectations when they're ever-changing and just downright impossible! like yesterday, i did the laundry (as usual) and she said I mixed colors with whites... again! i'm not saying i'm blameless, but can't we communicate instead of this constant barrage of what's wrong?? relationships should have a balance (a harmony where both individuals feel appreciated and understood) but lately, it feels skewed beyond repair. 💔 admittedly, the whole situation has driven me to question myself more than once: am i the problem or is it something deeper within our dynamic? either way, i'll keep trying because she's worth it even if she doesn't see that in me right now;

Well compared to my previous vents i feel like im starting to find peace within my self little by little right but aside from that theres this gal shes cool same humor as me and is overall cool but when we hung out with all of our friends and later on that day she also said that she was looking for a person to tick this box slash thing and i hit that box but what im so confused is that well idk how i see her as for the first time im genuinely confused about my feelings because inwas sure i saw her as just a friends and now that the person said that im self conscious do like her or do i see her as a friend and then i start imagining things so im confused and i got rejected from this one girl but it didnt hurt me much i was ok its just turned awkward so we dont talkmuch even tho i still want to hang to not turn it awkward but thats the main reason for this other girl im genuinely afraid that if i do pursue it it fucks up the friendship i had and then they leave like that awkward girl is doing right nowits just weird and still sorting through my feelings just a rsnt but wanted some advice

So yeah, things have been really hard recently. Sorry if this is the wrong kind of story here, but i was told to use this site. Anyway, I'm in a really bad situation right now. And my boyfriend is at a camp so i can't talk to him about any of this for about another half a week. My dad has been really not great, ever but recently especially bad. And yeah, he just walked in on me [TW] .............c^tťing and he acted like i was stupid and started comparing my issues to his and saying that he's tried so hard to help me with that situation (he hasn't, he said i was stupid when he found out a while ago and occasionally says really bad things about it when he's mad). So yeah I'm just really upset and needed to type this out

Ok. If there is one thing I have learned in life is that I am a catch to absolutely no one. And I'm not looking for people to tell me I am beautfiul and amazing and all of that junk, because I've dealt with people who constantly need to be told how amazing they are and it is exhausting. I just want to know if I'm being unrealistic for what I want in a parter. First of, I am a gay woman in a VERY VERY red state, which means its hard to find people with the same sexuality anyways. Dating apps are a disaster. I have never wanted to be someones third, especially with some of the men that these women are dating or married to. Now I finally find this girl who actually likes how I look and is willing to put up with me, but she seems to really dislike all of the things I like. She hates romance movies or most movies that aren't horror, she doesn't like to read, she says she wants to travel but talks about how she will never get on a plane, she doesn't like rollar coasters or crafts that aren't legos. and truly the one thing that just irks me more than anything else is what she knows about the world. For context I am a college graduate, both of my parents have masters degrees, I have vistied historical sites since I was old enough to understand their significance. She cannot do simple addition to safe her life, she does these semi dangerous exeriments (like putting a battery down her garbage disposial to see what will happen, or tearing at a battery until it creates just a strip of lithium), she didn't even know how many states were in the U.S until a week ago when I caught her calling Tennessee a country rather than a state. Sometimes i have to break down my instructions or exactly what I am saying to her because she just doesn't get it. But she really really likes me, and I like how passionate she is and that she is trying to learn, but its been almost a month and it just drives me crazy sometimes. She has a lot of health problems and I have to remind her to have her medicine or check in with her that she is actually eating. Also she is talking about promise rings, moving intogether, marriage, and kids. I've told her that I don't know if this is forever. Truly I'm still working out a lot of things about myself. So it's not like I'm hiding all of this from her. i guess after watching another rom com and realizing that I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want to bore her made me wonder if I am looking for a love or a partnership that only exists in movies, or if by holding on I could be missing that person that makes me feel seen and complete in everything I do. I just don't know anymore.

it's just so complicated being around them all the time. like seriously, she's my best friend and we connect on so many levels, but her husband? he's practically got everything i ever wanted in someone. you know how some folks say 'the heart wants what it wants'? well, that's me right now. i'm crazy about him and he doesn't even know it.

when i think about the conversations we've had, the little shared jokes between us, it's like when harry met sally... but with a whole lot of wrong timing. he gets my humor and those subtle nuances that most people miss. but alas, he's bound to someone else. honestly, it's one of those things where i keep reminding myself that “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”.

i'm 31 years old and still caught up in this tangled web of emotions that shouldn't be happening! i mean seriously, what do you do when you realize that your ideal match is already taken? it's not easy to compartmentalize all these feelings while maintaining friendly relations with both of them. feelings are messy and not particularly cooperative.

there's also the guilt factor lurking there for intruding emotionally where i'm not supposed to be; yet somehow there's an emotional tie and i'm left questioning my own moral compass. can't share this with anyone i hang out with cause they'll freak over it or misunderstand completely (trust me i've tried). still just venting here makes it feel a bit better 😊

it's a question that's been bugging me lately and i think it's worth exploring. are all psychopaths inherently evil? it's an assumption that pervades society, driven by media portrayals and dramatizations. sure, we have notorious examples like ted bundy or jeffrey dahmer. but not all individuals with psychopathy commit heinous crimes. some function quite well in society without causing harm. an article in the “journal of psychological studies” suggests that psychopathy is more complex than simply being good or bad.

now i ain't saying they're saints, far from it, but there's varying degrees to consider. some exhibit traits such as diminished empathy or lack of guilt but don't necessarily act on violent impulses. i've met people who probably tick off a few boxes of the hare psychopathy checklist and yet they run successful businesses or work in high-stakes environments like finance (notorious for attracting certain 'go getter' personalities). are they model citizens? maybe not according to traditional norms. what grates my nerves is the underlying fearmongering: every single time someone gets labeled a psychopath, it's like an imminent threat signal goes off in people's minds👀 not every so-called 'psycho' fits snugly into this archetype of monstrous deeds.

I am 40. I never had dreams of being anything. I am extremely introverted. I only feel good when I am in nature alone. Most of the time I feel scared. I can feel tension in my body. A pain I can not understand. I like people but not for a long time. I am always afraid of the future. Anticipation anxiety is very prominent in my dna. I do not care about work, a big house or stuff at all. Never have. Of course I like to have basic things and safety. I feel I do not belong in this world, country or this modern age. Have other people had this feeling?

soo, i never thought i'd feel this way, but having all this money is kinda terrifying. i'm only 22, and yeah, my family's got a lot of dough. like 'i could never work and still be fine' kind of money. sounds great right? but honestly, it just freaks me out man... living life on easy street ain't as simple as people think. you know how in movies where the rich kid's struggling with finding purpose? that's me...

i guess the comfort should make everything easier or whatever, but it feels like a noose sometimes rather than freedom. everyone's saying that i've got it made: just chill and live your best life! sounds cool until you just don't know what 'your best' even means anymore... there's a pressure to do something big cause anything less seems wasteful or disappointing to everybody around.

then there's this guilt, too. like why should i deserve all this when others are hustling day n night for pennies? my folks act like it's normal but having so much...makes me constantly second-guess every choice. can't even figure what 'working' means for someone who technically doesn't need to ever clock in...

is it possible that money can headlock your spirit instead of lifting you up? maybe i'll figure it out one day... meantime i'm feeling stuck in a gilded cage nobody warned you about growing up with privilege hanging over your head.

i got laid off a few months ago, and it seems as though my body's clock remains stuck there. Every morning without fail my eyes snap open at precisely 4am. It was the time I used to drag myself out of bed for work, and now it's just an unwelcomed reminder of what once was. Sleeping through this disruption has been impossible; my body does not care that I no longer need to be anywhere by dawn. Just because I lost that job doesn't mean I suddenly acquired the ability to sleep in like everyone assumes.

It's increasingly frustrating having to deal with this. I've tried adjusting my bedtime, all kinds of relaxation techniques before sleeping but none prevail over this rigid biological alarm system I'm cursed with right now. The speculation here is that after years of subjecting myself to such an early schedule, reprogramming might not be feasible anymore. While any semblance of leisure evades me during those ungodly hours, every attempt at productivity is met with bleary eyes and hardly functional cognitive faculties instead. It's like being taunted by the memory of employment yet powerless against confronting stagnant present circumstances while society shames you into feeling lazy when daylight graces your consciousness.

My mother has many friends. She has many activities. But she never seems to care about her children. I live 30 minutes away but she never comes to my house. I always go to her. She always has people around. But I never see her do anything for her children. It is very weird. We have always helped her. If one of her children is sick she does not care. My brother had a heart attack. My mother sends a message. But that is all. She can do anything, she has no handicap. If you come to her house she never ask if you want coffee or water. She just keeps on gardening or playing games. She makes her own lunch. Often I buy and prepare food for her. With other people she is very sociaal and gives food. A cold woman.