Life Stories and Everyday Drama

i have a friend who suddenly became really close with me. like, we're both to the point where we're both intensely codependent on the other. shes told me multiple times that im the only reason she's alive, she wants to help me, etc. but i can't just get myself to tell her anything. this whole thing has backfired because we argue so often and i end up apologizing like a little coward, but yesterday i finally broke and just yelled at her. cried, fought, got angry, the big schebang ykyk. i check her accounts on pinterest because vent accts are very popular nowadays, and the messages consist of "it was inevitable"/"I'm setting a [end it] date"/"you couldn't've stopped this." i dont know what to do because im scared of staying, i know she's manipulating me in some way, but i cant experience the same guilt i did when i was younger.

Can a therapist count as a life coach ? Maybe, I don't know. I figured it's a close thing, so I tagged it like this. Do tell me if I'm wrong though ^^'.

Anyway, I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now, and I don't know how to feel about them. I've been telling them my issues with my mom and stepdad and how they've treated me since childhood. Here's a list of some things that I mentioned in therapy without the heavier stuff :

- Criticism over my looks, behavior and scholarly achievements

- Yelling at me over the most minute thing ( ex : me wearing sweatpants in summer as a teenager )

- Wanting to act as if everything's fine after an argument

- The cycle of basically everything's fine for a period of time, but then they find something to be angry about whatever I'm doing

- My parents not listening to me and minimizing when I'm trying to bring up my concerns

- Things that involve my mom not really holding men that touched me innapropriately in the family accountable ( which includes my stepdad )

There are some things that I haven't told my therapist, and in all honesty, I think I already gave an idea of where my grievances lie. I'm not going to say what exactly happened, because I feel I can talk all day about those, and I don't want the post to be too heavy. Here's the thing though, I've told my parents in an admittedly harsh way that the moment I have enough money, I'm moving out, and I'm going to cut contact with them. I've also told that to my therapist, as well as me being angry and tired of the cycle that's been going on since I was a kid. There was a part of me that was a little vindictive towards my parents (still am a bit, but less as time goes on), but I ultimately want them to leave me alone. Where I don't know how to feel about that therapist is, I told them about all of this, and they consider me keeping my distance with my parents to be me acting like a teenager having a rebellious phase, and that me not talking much to my parents was actually hurting me (despite me having already brought up one of these points up above). That's because I always cry whenever I talk about how my parents' actions towards me affected me. I don't think me distancing myself from them is what's actually hurting me though, it's the memory of all the hurt I felt that's making me cry and their mere presence. Maybe I'm just in my feelings and I'm overthinking and even being a bit dramatic, but ever since I had my first appointment with that therapist, they reminded me of my parents in the sense of minimizing something that felt pretty chaotic to me for multiple years. They even asked me "apart from [insert grievances], what did they do ?", and it felt like they weren't taking the "less impactful" stuff seriously, all because they weren't as significant as me getting touched innaproprietely or something violent.

I am aware I have my shortcomings, so do tell me where they lay. I might bring my concern to my therapist next week (though I'm scared of what they might say). I hope you have a good day/night, and I'll see you soon <3

sooo i dont know how to say it it was first date of new year in out culture .........A female friend ( i only see her as a friend ) i told her if she hang out to knock or call me ... she said to go out with boyss... now i dont have much friend she knows it ..i dont have any good friend only friends in name only she knows it .. she still said itt ..thennn shee asked in afternoon where i am ..i said i am in my roomm .... she said why didint i tell u go out wiht the boys ( boys in our class ) i said they wont go out .. she said she is out with girls they called two of the boys contact them .. i said i wont contact them and ask if i can join them it feels weird after they said nooo .........i asked if i come ... i went straight to her she was with 4 girlss after a while i found some friend i went withh themmm (boys)) nexttt i see those girls were hanging out with 1 boy now htey dont have a rpbolem thath he is one boy among 4 girlss it only problem when itss mee ...........so i didnt go there they told me to go with others a while ago so i felt weird some of the guys i was hanging with wnet to them and said i was there so the girls group called . i went the boy asked why was i alone i said they told me to go waway and they called youu ... then i asked after my friend offer me a momo . i ate then asked if i should go or leave..........now she is mad whyy i said it lollll i didint argue but she always say not to come alone in groups of girls and when anyone else beside me only 1 boy they dont have aproblem amybe i am not in their frriend cirlceee

so, i've been pondering this question quite a bit lately: is college really better than high school? i mean, on paper, it sure sounds like it should be, right? we're talking more freedom, no one chasing you around for homework like some kind of school inspector, and the alleged opportunity to "find yourself." yet here i am, stuck in this never-ending loop of desolation and ennui, trying to untangle the mythical benefits of this so-called higher education. i feel like a ghost in the halls, surrounded by people yet impossibly alone. in high school, there wasn't this gaping void; at least the structure forced some semblance of interaction, like it or not. now? it's all tumbleweeds and solitude, with meandering thoughts like, "gee, was that all there was to it?"

you know how they say "college is the best time of your life"? well, i'm gonna have to call BS on that; perhaps it's the overly romanticized sitcom version they were referring to. the reality, for me, has been a swirling mess of self-doubt and social isolation. there's this massive chasm between expectation and reality when it comes to college life. i enrolled half-expecting to transform into some confident, self-assured version of myself, but the truth is, i'm still that awkward, socially-inept kid from high school, minus the safety net of familiar faces. plus, everyone here seems to have their own cliques and established groups, and i can't help but feel like a piece of jigsaw puzzle that's been thrown into the wrong box. i spend a good chunk of my day thinking, "am i the only one feeling this way?" the profs might be ace and the coursework fascinating, yet none of that offers solace when every social interaction feels like a herculean task.

in my experience, college's much-touted independence is a double-edged sword. sure, no one's monitoring my every move, but with that freedom comes an overwhelming sense of being adrift. navigating academics without guidance feels like trying to steer a boat without a rudder, especially when you don't have a crew to consult with. i ain't saying high school was a walk in the park; it definitely had its moments, what with the relentless drama and all the usual teenage angst. yet, at least there, the chaos was familiar, dependable in a weird way. maybe i'm romanticizing it too much, but high school had a simplicity that college seems to lack. are my expectations skewed, or is this just another case of the grass always being greener? either way, i've got one foot in a constant state of nostalgia while the other fumbles for a foothold in this daunting, adult landscape.

so, here's the thing, my brother and i have this classic sibling rivalry that honestly feels like it's straight out of every cliche sitcom ever. he's got this knack for tearing down whatever small accomplishments i manage to muster, and then somehow, he flips the whole scenario around like he's doing some circus trick. it's kinda like "hey, there buddy, i was just being tough on you to make you stronger"...when in fact, his words just sting, you know? 🤷‍♂️ i mean, we've all been there, trying to find that delicate balance between accepting sibling criticism as "constructive" and realizing it's just mean-spirited jabs dipped in sarcasm. sometimes i wonder if he's ever taken the time to be a bit more gentle with his words, especially knowing that i'm, well, still figuring things out.

let's paint a more clear picture; it's sunday brunch... our family tradition, right? the plan's always like, grab a plate and spill some tea. today, however, just as i'm reminiscing with my folks about how well my recent soccer game went, the guy leans back, smirking, and tosses in this zinger, "yeah, if only the other team had scored as much as your footprints on the field, maybe they'd have bought you lunch!" sure, maybe it sounds amusing, but there's always this underlying tone that transcends playful banter into the realm of something a bit harsher. ever hear the theory that siblings push buttons no one else knows exist? that's us in a nutshell, except he seems to have installed a new set of buttons altogether! why is it so difficult for him to understand the concept of cheerleading instead of constantly acting like a comedian at my expense?

still, amidst all this chaos, i've decided not just to endure but to try and redefine our dynamic. instead of falling into the pitfall of dramatics, i figured, why not spin his antics positively, kind of like killing him with kindness, as they say. maybe i could even subtly emulate the ancient stoic practice; you know, focusing on controlling my reaction to his remarks rather than expecting his behavior to change overnight. and, who knows? maybe one day, he'll realize that sometimes, the loudest applause for a sibling is a quiet word of support rather than a clever quip. ever feel like you’re in a one-way sibling telepathy session? 'cause i sure do, always hoping for that lightbulb moment. perhaps there's a book or a podcast out there? like "sibling diplomacy: a guide to cultivating camaraderie?" i'm game for suggestions if anyone's got them!..

So manifesting.. law of assumption.. ive really been getting into these things. So usually it’s always like money and etc people want to manifest into their lives. Ok now I know to the ‘average’ person this is going to sound ehhh to……. But you know it’s always ‘life is what you make it’, ‘the only limits you have are the ones you have on yourself’ so magic. I want that. I’m aware of witchcraft and some other spiritual knowledge but yk like magic, teleport, energy blasts (ok don’t really want that but I hope you get) so manifesting magical powers specifically, I feel when ever I search something that has to do with ‘supernatural’ I see stuff like reality shifting or humans of this world don’t have the ability. Firstly I want it in THIS reality, secondly isn’t that technically a limiting belief? And how would I start unlimiting myself. I mean tbh there might be a bunch of people that know this and have ‘unlocked’ their powers but are just hiding. I hope this reaches people that are into magic kinda and also manifesting (coincidentally)

Lately I feel like I live with someone who has already decided I’m the villain before I even open my mouth. My daughter is fifteen, and I know, I know, people love to say, “Teen girls are hard,” like that sentence is supposed to cover everything, but some days the way she talks to me honestly feels personal. I’ll ask something normal like, “Hey, did you finish your homework?” or “Can you put your plate in the sink?” and she’ll hit me with this exhausted eye roll and that sarcastic little “Oh my God, can you not?” like I just ruined her entire life by existing in the kitchen at the same time as her. It sounds small when I type it out, but when it happens over and over, morning to night, it wears you down. Last week I reminded her to bring a jacket because it was cold, and she snapped, “I’m not five, stop acting like you own me.” I wasn’t even trying to control her, I was literally just being a mom. Then later that same day, she texted me asking if I could drop off the charger she forgot, and of course I did, because that’s what I do, but she barely looked at me when I showed up. She just grabbed it, muttered “thanks,” and ran back inside. I sat in the parking lot after that and thought, wow, when did basic kindness become too much to ask for? The messed up part is that she’s not like this with everyone. Her friends think she’s hilarious. Teachers say she’s “spirited” and “smart,” and family members still call her sweet because she can turn it on when she wants to. So then I start wondering if this is just what she saves for me because I’m the safe person, or if she actually resents me in some deeper way and I’m too clueless to see it. People say, “She’ll grow out of it,” and maybe they’re right, but that doesn’t really help in the moment when your own kid is talking to you like you’re some annoying coworker she hates. And yes, before anyone jumps in, I have tried being softer, stricter, more patient, less naggy, more understanding, giving space, having heart-to-hearts, all of it. I even told her once, very calmly, “You don’t have to like me every second, but you do have to speak to me with respect,” and she laughed, which somehow felt worse than yelling. Maybe some of you have been here too;

What makes it harder is that I’m not pretending I’m some perfect parent who has never messed up. I have lost my temper. I have repeated myself too much. I have probably asked too many questions when she clearly wanted to be left alone, and I know teenagers hear concern as criticism half the time. When I was her age, I thought my own mom was “doing the most” over everything, and I definitely said a few nasty things I wish I could take back, so part of me tries to remember that and stay fair. Still, there’s a difference between normal teenage attitude and feeling like your child has contempt for you. A few nights ago we were in the car and I asked how school was, just trying to connect, and she said, “Why do you always act fake interested?” That one really got me, because I am interested. I know the names of her friends, the teacher she can’t stand, the singer she has on repeat, the fact that she likes her toast barely toasted, the way she gets quiet when something is really wrong even if she says she’s “fine.” I carry all these tiny details because I love her, and yet somehow I’m the person she talks to the worst. Her dad says not to take it so personally and that she’s pushing boundaries, testing independence, all the classic parenting-book stuff, and maybe he’s right, but he also doesn’t get the full blast of it like I do. There are these random good moments that keep me from going completely bitter, like when she fell asleep on the couch last month and still looked like my little kid for a second, or when she showed me a dumb meme and laughed so hard she snorted, or when she had a rough day and let me rub her back without shrugging me off. Those moments make me think the real her is still in there, and maybe this is just a brutal phase neither of us knows how to handle. But I wont lie, it hurts. It hurts to be the person making the meals, buying the shampoo, remembering the dentist appointment, staying up until she gets home, and then getting treated like I’m this huge problem. Has anyone else had a daughter act like this and then eventually come back around, or is there something I’m missing here? I’m trying really hard to stay balanced and not turn this into a “kids these days” rant, because I do think being a teenager right now looks exhausting in ways my generation didn’t deal with. But I’m also a human being, and some nights after she goes to her room, I just sit there thinking, why is my teenage daughter so mean to me?

What will you do if you're exaust from family and lover. Running your house, taking care of everyone and at the end of the day got insulted by your lover ?

Idk anymore what to do, there's a voice inside telling me to run away from all of this.

I'M EXAUST

there’s not a category that fits this so i just chose randomly sorry, I don’t know how to word this plus it’s a vent I just don’t feel like living anymore i feel like a burden to everyone in my life, i stay at home constantly i feel ugly and i don’t want people to look at me i don’t even think my mom loves me it just feels like she’s saying it out of pity anytime i vent to someone they just reply with “oh but how would ___ feel?” That just makes me feel worse about myself i sometimes harm myself (scratching, cvtting, hitting) just do i dont lash out on my loved ones there’s nothing and no one stopping me from attempting and im scared im gonna do it soon, im a failure to everyone i even have a not incase i do attempt

My family life isn’t the most perfect. My mother and my stepfather married when I was just born. She married him to get a visa and for financial stability. They were and still are more strangers to each other and don’t really do things together. They don’t even share a bedroom or sit in the same room for longer together. He’s also much older than she is by around 25 years.

In my eyes he is my father because he literally brought me up and I do love him. But it seems like my mother really doesn’t trust him. When I was younger like in first grade, she didn’t allow me to like hug him when we were in bed. I did it once around that age and she ignored me for the next hours till I apologised to her for that and said I won’t do it again.

Another instance was when I was around 11 years old. She and my stepfather had quite an awful dispute during that time. She was rarely at home and just somewhere out leaving me and my stepfather at home. She then asked me out of the blue if he ever did or does anything weird when she isn’t here and that I should tell her if there’s anything going on. I was confused and obviously told her there isn’t anything wrong.

Then a few months ago (I am in my last year of high school) she asked me again. The last time was longer ago but it’s weird that it happened again. She asked if there’s anything going on and if there aren’t any “secrets”. That I should tell her immediately if there’s anything. And that she said, I quote: “I can’t know what’s happening here when I am away. I also didn’t know what’s happening when you were younger and I wasn’t here.”

I am just confused and I am not sure what to think of it all if I should just ask her or leave it be. I think I just needed to get it off my chest.

living next door to my flashy neighbor has been an exercise in patience, to say the least. it’s as if i’m living in a bizarre reality show where one guy is constantly trying to outdo everyone else on the block with his ostentatious lifestyle. and it's not just the blaring music or his tendency to have cars in every color... no, it’s also the way he somehow always finds something wrong with my rather unassuming house or my perfectly functional car. it baffles me how someone can spend so much energy belittling, when there’s absolutely no real competition in the first place.

but how do you not care about someone who insists on getting under your skin, especially when you’re a decent enough person who’s just trying to live quietly? maybe i’m too sensitive?? i’ve often thought about taking the high road, you know, like in those high-minded quotes about letting things go or 'rising above.' however, it’s kinda hard to 'rise above' when someone’s literally trying to drag you down every chance they get. pressing 'mute' on life's galling individuals seems like an attractive solution, but it’s easier said than done.

i mean really, how do people manage to ignore jerks like this in the long run??? it's a constant debate in my head, going back and forth between wanting to give him a piece of my mind or just practicing the whole ‘live and let live’ thing. as much as i’d like to think i’m just gonna shake my head and chuckle at his antics, the reality is that hearing someone snicker about your home being “quaint” can start to wear you thin. especially when his idea of friendly banter is a one-way ticket to irritation-ville.

over time, though, i’ve considered that maybe the guy’s really just miserable or he’s compensating for something. sounds textbook, right?? cliché even! but when you think about it, really think: wouldn’t it explain a ton??? so, maybe one way not to care is to see him for what he really is: a harmless windbag peddling his own brand of insecurity. putting him in a different context might just make his taunts seem as ridiculous as they actually are.

finally, let’s get practical, shall we? there’s always the option of focusing on your own happiness and accomplishments, immersing yourself in things that lift you up rather than drag you down. after all, they say success is the best revenge; and, of course, it’s less about outdoing someone else and more about not wasting your precious time on unnecessary nonsense. in the grand scheme of things, this gloating neighbor’s opinion shouldn’t hold any weight, and maybe, just maybe, that’s the path toward truly not giving a damn. do you think it’s possible to train oneself to dismiss such trivialities completely???

My cat goes outdoors and a month ago his brother who lived three houses from ours passed away from a tragic accident with a car. So, I think it’s too risky for her to go out but sometimes she can’t help it. I was wondering how can I change this behaviour?

I've been hurt many times by almost everyone around me and it hurts to speak to them or even be around them, specifically two people I once thought of as my best friends. The first one I'll call M has hurt me countless times in all sort of ways, for example I tried on a dress for the first time a while back and he told me I looked ugly and how I should never get into drag if I look like that in a dress. It happened almost two years ago but everytime I speak to him that memory constantly resurfaces, that and the Christmas incident. The Christmas incident was to put it simply, me getting very angry at him over ignoring me all of Christmas day and lying to me about not talking to anyone else and then calling me a chore to talk to in his quote on quote apology. M has done other things that make me feel like he just hates when I show any sort of emotion for more than a day, which is impossible for me. D, unlike M has hurt me quite recently. I used to hangout with D quite often, in fact I had to convince my friend group to have him hangout with us and he was so nice and kind amd always used to say hi to me everyday when we walked past me and I always did the same, however over the past weeks he suddenly stopped speaking to me and one of my other friends and so I confronted him about it and he eventually "apologized" to the other person saying that his other friends kept teasing him about talking to us two and how he was truly sorry about it, but he never actually changed, he kept ignoring me and never directly apologized to me, making the situation worse and so I said I wouldn't forgive him since an apology is nothing without change. And he respomded with something that very much irritated me and essentially burned the bridge between us. One of my other friends, S wanted me to just forgive him since he was being teased for talking me since I am gay so I assume they were calling him gay and I said once more an apology is nothing without change and then she said that me not forgiving him would ruin our friend group and such so I severed myself from the group itself. Now I dont know what to do anymore and thoughts of just killing them all and then myself are creeping in. I apologize if this makes no sense, I did leave out some details.

I have this feeling since a longer time. I can’t feel bad for other people or specifically my friends. Especially when they’re feeling down or are in a difficult situation. It’s more like hatred towards them. I hate that they get attention. I would just love for them to shut up about it or make them shut up. But that’s wrong and I know it. I still help because I hope that they get less attention when they feel better.

Why is that?

This is something I noticed growing up and even now; it's that I feel like relationships/dating feel more fun than friendships. This is more about online connections. In real life? I think both could be equally as fun. I feel bad for feeling this way tho because it's known that I should want them both equally but I don't.

Maybe it's the secretive aspect I like, talking to guys I find attractive online since I'm closeted and a way to express that. It could be because there are clear rules on what to do in dating but with friendships...it feels like a free world where I don't know what the objection is, referring to really online ones. I can't maintain a proper relationship cause of my insecurities (romantic or platonic).

I tried talking to people online and making friends again but it all seems useless, I'm not enjoying anything, I'm just going by the rules and texting, asking, all that stupid social shit. I don't actually feel anything for the person I'm talking to so I just leave because what's the point? I know now that time doesn't mean anything, time doesn't equal a good friendship. I thought about what I actually wanted to do with friends and it's actually simple and what I wanted to do since I was young which was play video games and even voice chat but I feel like I need to do the normal and boring stuff before playing any games of voice chatting, otherwise I'll just be seen as weird and fast. Tho it's not like I tried so maybe people won't mind.

I have interests and things I like doing but it's not like I can yap about my interests, only during specific times. Tho most my interests are low-key childish, Its a bit hard to make friends at 18. I feel like most adults are grounded in their identity and know who they are, a bit of sadness carries around them.

I just haven't been talking to people, I feel like even if I see a person irl or online, I have no idea how to approach irl, I feel like I should only do that at gatherings where it makes sense to meet people. Online? Idk why but I feel like it wouldn't end well if I tried.

Any advice is appreciated 🩷🖤