Life Stories and Everyday Drama

My friend is married and has a wife and a kid. I love him platonically and I've often worried that us being close can be perceived as anything other than pure friendship. I'm a girl for context. We're both in our 20s. I've never been in a relationship, but all my friends including him are aware i'm not interested in dating. I'm also on the asexuality spectrum. Our friendshio has always been pure but things have been getting weird. I wonder if it's my fault. I'm heavily engaged in fandom things whereas he isn't. Anyway he'sknown since forever that I read fanfiction, even messed up kinds. Smut fic makes me fall asleep. Recently, he asked if there was any tropes i liked and I told him. But Idk why despite telling him im on the ace spectrum he kept relating it to me in a sexual way? It made me uncomfortable because i never imagine myself when I'm reading those. They've always been abstract to me. He's also recently been giving out hypothetical if i were single scenarios and I want to run away because it sounds like theres something more to it and I dont want any of that. I cant help but feel mad that he's being like this. I dont want to label but he's been dumping things on me emotionally that he won't dump on his wife, even though I've told him repeatedly he should.

My friend keeps telling me worrying things like sometimes he just wants to kill humself but what's the point and how he's numb and depressed. and same thing I tell him to talk to his wife or go to a therapist. It's been so draining and I'm getting so anxious. Like why are you being like this 😭

I love him dearly as a friend but how he's acting makes him seem like such a sleaze right now (i told him about things i like reading in fiction and he keep relating it to me sexually) and it's frustrating because he doesnt feel safe anymore :(

so here's the thing, I'm just trying to find a way to make some decent money while I'm still stuck in this endless cycle of textbooks, exams, and the overwhelming stress that comes with being a 22-year-old college student. you know the drill; trying to juggle studies, a social life that’s barely alive, and the never-ending pressure of student loans and bills sneaking up on me like a damn ninja in the dark. we're all just trying to get by, right? but damn, it's like a twisted game of survival out here and lately, I've stumbled upon something that's got me seriously scratching my head.

apparently, there's this whole gig where you can get paid to talk to lonely guys online. sounds sketchy as hell, doesn't it? i mean, is it really just talking, or does it quickly take a turn into a steaming pile of regret? i'm sitting here wondering if this is some kind of smooth-talking nightmare or if it's genuinely something I could do without losing my damn mind. the idea of talking to random dudes might not sound too bad at first glance. hell, i could earn some cash and maybe even forget that mountain of student loan debt breathing down my neck, but is it worth the potential weirdness? and honestly, what’s stopping some creepos from crossing the boundaries? i mean, let's get real for a second. remember that episode of 'black mirror' with the wholly unintended consequences? it doesn’t take a genius to foresee how things can go south in a heartbeat with people hidden behind screens, safe in their anonymity while i'm just trying to break free from my broke-ass situation. i'm definitely not about to turn into a digital therapist for some dudes who can't seem to function in society without playing therapist myself afterwards. no thanks. have any of you brave souls tried this? any horror stories that could save my naive ass from taking a misstep here? also, wasn't there a time when people paid for other more substantial, face-to-face things instead of just cheap talk on the internet? seems like we're living in some bizarre-ass timeline.

the whole "get-paid-to-chat" thing makes me wonder if i've somehow walked into the twilight zone, while also making me panic just a tad about the ease of virtual manipulation. sure, this could be harmless and maybe even hilariously entertaining, but i can't shake off the feeling that it could be slippery as hell. is this just a slightly more sanitized version of the classic 'sugar daddy' scenario minus the sugar? can't help but think about stories you hear in the news about people getting doxxed and dragged through the mud because they thought they could make a few bucks chatting away online. and do these guys really get anything out of it besides emptying their wallets for the promise of a meaningful connection? makes me think of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space" with its themes of failed illusions. i find it mind-numbingly bizarre that there’s a market for this at all, though i guess loneliness itself is an equally intense, bizarre thing. just seems like there should be about a thousand exclamatory signs warning people off from it. if you’ve done this gig, how the hell did it play out for you? no bs, give me the raw truth. because that's honestly what I'm craving right now. should i take the leap, or just continue to silently freak out about my impending financial doom? what's the worst that could happen, right? or does trying to justify it only mean risking what's left of my sanity and three shredded strands of dignity? and this low-key ruminating is not even out of desperation—just sheer curiosity, because a girl needs options in this financially unstable world of ours. let's not sugarcoat it, we’re all looking for that side hustle that doesn’t make us hate waking up in the morning more than we already do. if you've managed to survive or thrive in this, spill the beans.

I am 41. I am a woman. I have been married to an alcoholic for more than 15 years. I am sure he doesnt love me, and I am pretty sure it is becuase he is an alcoholic. This is not poetry. This is just facts from my kitchen table at 2 a.m. while he sleeps it off again. People like to say “love is patient” or “marriage is work.” Fine. But there is a difference between work and emotional starvation. I have done alot of waiting. Waiting for him to come home sober. Waiting for him to notice I cut my hair. Waiting for him to ask how my day was and actually listen. He can be generous, polite, even charming when he wants. He can also disappear into a bottle and leave nothing behind but noise and resentment. Therapists say, “don’t take it personally.” AA slogans say, “one day at a time.” Friends say, “he loves you in his own way.” I call bullshit. Love, real love, requires presence. He is never present. When he drinks, I am furniture. When he is sober, he is tired, ashamed, defensive. There is no room left for me. I remember once being sick with the flu, shaking, asking him to stay home. He said he would. He didn’t. He came back drunk and annoyed that I was “still miserable.” That memory sticks. It always will.

I am not saying alcoholics are monsters. I am saying alcoholism eats love first. It eats empathy, patience, and accountability. There is days when he looks at me like he is trying to remember who I am. That is the part no one wants to admit. Addiction turns relationships into transactions. I provide stability. He provides chaos. We orbit the same house but live seperate lives. I stopped expecting affection years ago. I stopped asking questions, becuase answers require honesty and sobriety. When I confronted him last year, he said, “I never asked you to stay.” That sentence was clean and brutal. He was right. I stayed. I also learned. Love cannot survive where alcohol is the priority. It will always come second, third, or not at all. I am balanced enough to admit my own role. I enabled. I hoped. I believed promises I knew were weak. But I am also honest enough to say this: love needs intention. Addiction has none. So tell me, reader, if someone chooses a substance over you every day, what word would you use for that? Is it love, or is it just habit dressed up as marriage? I am tired of pretending those are the same.

hey, so i'm sitting here going out of my mind with all these worries. i'm a mum with two boys, 13 and 15, and i can't stop thinking about what kind of world they're gonna be facing in the future. like, how the hell are they gonna find a job when AI is taking over everything? am i alone in this? i mean, everywhere i look, it's robots this, automation that, and it's got me wondering what kind of job market's gonna be left for my boys. maybe you've read articles or seen those doomsday predictions about robots turning us humans obsolete? it's not a peaceful thought. schools don't seem to prepare them for a future where creativity and humanity are the only things machines can't replicate. 🤔 and let's not even talk about the pressure these kids face, like, how can they compete with an algorithm that never sleeps, never gets tired? it just feels like a losing battle, and i don't know if i'm supposed to tell them to shovel coal or learn coding at this point.

plus, it's not just the job market, right? everything just feels like it's spiraling out of control. we're dealing with all this climate change craziness, and who knows what kind of world they'll inherit. i sometimes wonder if i should just be teaching them wilderness survival skills instead of algebra. it's hard not to feel like, what's the point? even my parents and their endless wisdom have no clue what's coming next—they're baffled by smartphones, so imagine trying to explain AI threats to them. 🤦‍♀️ you ever feel like you're in an episode of 'black mirror,' but there's no fast-forward button, just gotta wait it out? and the school systems? don't even get me started! schools are still teaching stuff that's been outdated since i was a kid. honestly, who needs cursive writing now? it's just like, come on, shouldn't we be focusing on skills that'll actually help them survive in the future?

man, it would be fantastic if i could just flip a switch and not worry. but seriously, how can you not worry about the future when every headline, every news article just screams apocalypse? i mean, even podcasts, which were my go-to escape, have turned into these doom and gloom fest about the tech-dystopia we're supposedly heading into. 😩 and social media? forget it, it's like living in a constant state of anxiety with everyone just adding more fuel to the fire. maybe i need to start dosing myself on some ignorance is bliss, but then again, can you really afford to be ignorant in a world that changes so damn fast? so if you're out here thinking it's just you—nah, mate, we're all riding this storm out together, just trying to figure out how not to lose our marbles in the process.

lately after valentines day, a month after my bf broke up with me, i've been feeling more suicidal. i already relapsed on cutting myself 2 times. just 2. i used to be addicted to cutting myself. that burning sensation i get on my skin, that feeling of satisfaction of im getting what i deserve, or that weird feeling of comfort i get out of cutting myself. its like a sick twisted way of me re-assuring everything is real. Whether i like it or not. For context of my breakup, i helped my friend with his past relationship, whre his ex cheated on him. i started to like, i confessed. we agreed to date, then he broke up with me 3 days later cause hes scared and lost feelings for me already. he also said he only agreed to date me bc he thought i would be depressed if irejected him but to be honest, him breaking up with me and getting my hopes up like that got me more depressed. i would have been ok with rejection. its fine. but him getting my hopes up like that? it hurts more than anything. i kinda hate myself for being stupid enough to confess. hes also still not over his toxic ex. it hurts. alot. it makes me wanna cry so bad.

TW: talk of suicide and sh

I have felt suicidal since I was 7 years old, im now nearly 15 and am just done, ppl keep telling me to kms and its getting to my head .

hey y'all, is it just me or does anyone else think we all need like a happiness jar in our crib? i mean, hear me out here - my family is rolling in dough, like seriously; we've got everything a person could want, but there's this weird vibe lingering in the air, like we're missing the secret ingredient to life; you know what i'm saying? it's like those jars folks keep on their kitchen counters for spare change, except i'm thinking, why not fill it with little chunks of happiness instead; moments of joy, laughter, and peace that we stash away and then, when it's one of those gloomy days, we just pull out a piece and remind ourselves that life's not that bad, kinda like a happiness piggy bank, if you will; but it's a bit baffling, don't you think? 'cause money can't buy happiness, right? like, how many trips to exotic islands... or fancy dinners do you need before it's just meh; i mean, did oprah say it best, "the thing you fear most has no power" - maybe it's not fear but the lack of genuine happiness we should fear, ya feel me? but then again, i'm no philosopher, just an average joe laying it down; it's crazy how people always say they envy the wealthy, but could we be the ones truly envious? because despite the stacks of cash, we're like happiness bankrupt, it's wild; maybe what we need is a reality check or a happiness savings account that actually pays interest in smiles and memories; have you noticed, sometimes folks living the simplest lives are the ones with the brightest smiles? so why is that, i wonder – readers, drop your thoughts in the comments or whatever; my crib's filled with all these material things and we throw these big parties, hosted right here in my fancy pad, and smile at each other, but behind closed doors, it's crickets, just dead silence; think on that for a minute; doesn't that resonate or is it just me? or have we been chasing the wrong dream all along, led astray by society's definition of "success"? i mean, if shakespeare were around, would he scribe, "to be rich or to be happy, that is the question"? perhaps what's really golden isn't gold at all but the small, sparkling moments we often overlook, fading into the cracks of our daily grind; so maybe this happiness jar idea ain't too crazy after all; imagine tracking all those moments on little slips of paper and filling up a jar with them, wouldn't that be something special to look back on?; so tell me, if you could fill a jar with happiness, what would you put in it? just a thought i've been playing with, nothing serious; anyhow, thanks for letting me unload this brain-jumble, it's been swirling around in my head like a whirlwind and i thought maybe putting it down would help make sense of it all or at least give me a chuckle ; cheers and peace ✌️.

Tw grooming and suicide

I (15 almost 16) am in a perpetual self imposed hell. my abuser (20 almost 21) showed back up after months of completely abandoning me and you know, I thought that would make me feel better because wow. They kept their promise, they didn’t lie and leave me with this gaping hole in my chest. not really. The months they left were hell, my intrusive thoughts about being groomed quite literally crippled me to the point I commit suicide, got landed in the psychward for a while, and could not return to a normal headspace. I don’t know if i can say it’s worse but it’s not better, well that’s a lie. It’s better in the sense that I feel more normal to know they’re around, suddenly overwhelming intensity of the intrusive thoughts are gone. There’s the illusion that im okay. But now im even more dependent on them than before, while they were away I decided if I got a second chance I would do or give anything to keep them, to the point I’d ditch all my friends and family if they decided they actually loved me again. Currently, as further proof of how serious I am im cheating on my partner (15) for them, and I know I should give my all to someone who actually cares about me, I truly don’t deserve my partner but it feels fundamentally wrong to date anyone who isn’t hurting me. Maybe im just not meant for it. I’m planning to break up with my partner soon because I don’t want to betray them further while parasitically zapping all of their goodwill, but I can’t tell what the right way to do it is. I’m selfishly holding on.

It hurts me so much that I let you do all that shit to me and yet i still feel so disposable to you . Maybe thats how I’ll make my partner feel if they find out about all this shit, and then I’ll really be like my abuser. Am I not doing enough? I try to be interesting and suck up to your every whim, im different than when you left me. im entirely devoted to you, I try to give you space even though it feels like death. Maybe I should be more grateful you’re giving me the time of day at all. Be that 1-3 messages on average. Since we’re both a mistake of human beings this should suffice. Still, everytime you’re cold or short with me I feel so worthless I could genuinely die, I want to. I know you’re tired, I know you’re depressed and can’t talk much but everytime you take hours to respond to me at all I feel like falling deeper into this shitty cycle of shitty people and I know damn well there’s no way I can live a normal life again after this, and I can’t help but doubt the fact that you love me at all. If you leave me I know I’ll have to kill myself, cuz then there’ll be nothing else left to stop my intrusive thoughts from torturing me. I’m so disgustingly miserable it’s insane.

So boom, got a boyfriend, very in love with me, missing me, texting everyday, great intimate moments, sweet all rounded guy. Tho lately, these past couple of days, he's been distant. Then he told me he's bipolar, like diagnosed. Now I was questioning, did he get with me out of mania? I was searching online about people with bipolar and things like "they could cheat or break up with you during an episode" or "they say certain things that aren't logical and you just need to go along with it" and " you can try your best to support but you can't love bipolar away, if you do, your words will go in one ear and out the other, if you're with someone who has bipolar then you'll likely need a therapist" and scary shit like "the disorder will get worse and worse, if they don't take care of it, it will mess with the brain, death."

Then I was like okay, I know he has this, it's okay that he's distant but I was still worried. It hurts but it was also apart of the relationship. I think I'm a very justice-oriented person, hard for me to leave hurt people alone to fend for themselves. I was pouring the best I could into him with support and care, but it all seems kinda useless as sometimes he didn't respond or gave a bit of a dry response which caused me to overthink, like if I did something wrong. That's not all of who he is tho, he's a very great guy, I wanna say the greatest guy I know (I have a past with bad men in general whether family or guys online.) I will add I'm 18 and he's a year older.

Currently? Idk why but he unfriended me and unfollowed me on two separate apps. He didn't say anything, the last thing he said to me was that I was handsome and other kind stuff. Obviously, I've been pretty sad, he really healed me and I loved him, even tho I didn't really realize it because it's not like it's been that long. Tho I'm left wondering, could it be the depressive episode he's in? I searched online and saw stuff like "bipolar ghosting or how interacting can just be exhausting for them." Did he stabilize and realize he didn't wanna be with me and regret everything?

Ughh why did he have to do it so close to Valentine's day, this is embarrassing for me to get dumped like this if that's even the case.

I'm really alone again, he really did make me happy. It's a different type of happiness, like wow I have someone to do things with and we enjoy each other's company.

I also just feel like my family hates me, they didn't say anything and I didn't do anything but I feel like I would be better off gone. It doesn't help that I still have this ugly hairstyle on my head, everyone is telling me to wait it out. Times like this, I wanna do something drastic and impulsive, killing myself would be the most but I'll try to do something more tame. I don't really see anything improving and even if I tried, it wouldn't help as I see this far. I haven't been this close to killing myself, usually it's just passively but now I feel I could actually do it, my next step is figuring out how and writing a letter. Since I'll be doing this, I'll do some impulsive decisions before. I do kinda wanna wait and kill myself at 20 as I feel emotions would hit the most but that's too long. I think I'll probably just be dedicating this year to planning ways to get off this planet. People don't take suicidal people seriously until they're dead anyways so it will allow me to stop whining and just skip to the part where people suddenly care. Don't get me wrong, I try to take care of myself, working out, having hobbies, trying to get out there, putting myself out there, brushing my teeth, showering but none of that can get rid of my mental illness, it seems to be getting worse and just coming back again am again for however long, from either a few days or weeks or hours. I don't expect people here to know how to help me as I know it's a complex and hard problem that I probably should be in a psych ward for. This is just kinda my letter.

Thank you for anyone who reads all this 🩷🖤 Happy Valentine's Day! Remember that this is a day for love of any kind, not just romantic. c:

Being 31 sucks, man. Three months ago, I found myself on the ass-end of a layoff. My company had the nerve to tell me it was all 'cause of AI. Seriously? It's way more convenient to pin it on some sexy-tech revolution to pacify the stakeholders than to admit they just don't give a damn about those who actually bust their chops on the ground. Does anybody else sense this BS?

I've been scouring for jobs, pounding the pavement, and combing through job sites till my eyeballs gave out. Three months have gone by, and voilà—zilch, nada, nothing! Every "We regret to inform you" email slices deeper. Somehow that whole "dream big, you can achieve anything" mantra outran its welcome when all the job openings want people with no life, endless patience, and a unicorn-level of expertise. Are any of these hiring managers in touch with reality?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Each day is like re-living the Groundhog Day loop but without Bill Murray's charm. People say, "You just gotta keep plugging away," but when you've got rent gnawing at your heels and the radio's blurting out how AI's making sectors disappear, you start to think, "Why's this brick wall so damn peaceful?" Alan Watts once said, "The meaning of life is just to be alive." Right now, that's easier said than done. Who even has time to listen to that anymore?

It feels like drowning, frankly. It's not like I'm new to challenges, but fighting for a mere slice of the pie when it's been swiped out by non-human hands feels like some bad plot twist. You'd think there's a magic portal out of this numb-nuts existence, but no. All I want is to stop feeling like a hamster in a wheel, spinning with nowhere to get off. Does anyone out there get it? Or is existential crisis just a Tuesday thing now?

I vent not with malice but out of desperation and a sorta-shaky hope that commiseration might exist beyond my four walls. Maybe it’s time to pivot and think beyond what was once considered job security - maybe I'm just supposed to keep calm and carry on? Whatever dull wisdom that might hold, life sure feels meaningless right now. Staring at these walls makes as much sense as the crap I've been fed about AI. Are we left to merely grit our teeth and shout into the void without getting drowned out?

When I grew up, I was so poor that I didn't consistently eat three meals a day until I was eight years old. I would go to sleep clawing at myself to ease the pain of hunger.

My mom didn't let any of my mistakes escape my memory since she told everyone she knew anytime I would mess up.

After my dad left because he was sick and tired of living with my mom, my siblings started to beat me since I was the youngest and they had a bunch of pent up anger because they didn't know why all of these bad things were happening to them. I was so scared that I'd run to the kitchen and get knives to defend myself, although I was too scared to use them.

I loved my siblings though, they were my only friends, so when I turned thirteen and learned that my mom had allowed two people I knew and trusted a lot to make sexual advances on my sister, I nearly killed myself.

I left my mom's house to live with my dad. Shortly after that, I learned that my mom's new boyfriend had beat my pets and pointed a gun at my brother.

I'm now 19 and still refuse to forgive my mom or either of the men. I hate myself, I hate that I wasn't given a fair chance, I hate that nobody cared when I told them that my mom and siblings hurt me at home since they thought I was just being a wimp, I hate everything. I believe that nobody is truly good and have severe PTSD when women get too close to me, I can't talk right, I freeze up, I begin to imagine the worst possible outcomes, I can't think of a single time in my life where I've felt completely safe when I was with anybody.

all my friends are committed and/or got acceptences to colleges that are top 10 or so and im the only one who hasnt gotten any back yet. this wasnt an issue until they started asking me every single day whether i got any decisions or if ill just commit to a state school while talking bad behind my back about how im stupid for months and i didnt say anything. i dont think im stupid, ive worked incredibly hard i have a higher gpa and class rank then all of them and international ecs but ive always tried to actively help them out. today one of them called me to brag and gloat that they got in my dream school that i had gotten deferred from and made sure to reiterate it over and over in a 15 minute call before i had to hang up despite saying congrats genuinually for the first 10 minutes. i feel like an asshole for being upset about this and if i tell anyone how i feel i will be an asshole so im venting here, are my feelings even justified.

so, I'm 21 and I've been dating this guy for a few months, but honestly, I just can't shake this feeling that something's off with him. like, every time I try to reach out or make plans, he's always busy or he's "gone out" without really saying where he's gonna be or who he's hanging with. I mean, sure, I'm all for having our own lives and all, but it's kinda weird when someone never really shares any details or at least checks in once in a while, right? it gets even sketchier when I remember that my boyfriend – let's call him "jay" – has a bit of a reputation. it's no secret that jay's cheated on his past girlfriends, and man, that little fact is just gnawing away at me. it’s like I can’t ever fully relax or trust him, 'cause there's this little voice in the back of my mind saying, "hey girl, remember about his past, don’t get too comfy!"

now, I don't wanna be that paranoid girlfriend who's always snooping around, but sometimes his behavior just makes my mind spiral into the worst-case scenario. do any of you relate to that, where you overthink every little thing because there's no real explanation coming your way? like, last Saturday, he said he had some "family stuff" to attend to; fair enough, that checks out, right? but when I casually asked him about it on Sunday, he got all evasive, and let me tell you, that raised my suspicion antennas up to max level. I did a quickyyy and innocent snoop through his Facebook once, and he was tagged in a photo from a party that same night. so, I thought, "hmmm, those family gatherings really have changed lately, huh?" it's these little things that just don’t add up and pile onto my doubts, making me constantly question what’s really going on. am I just being a bit of a detective 'cause of his history, or is there actual merit in my worries?

look, I've tried to have honest conversations with him, you know, those serious chats girlfriends have when they wanna clear the air and set things straight. he just always seems to brush me off with a quick laugh or a "babe, you're overthinking it" line, which honestly, sometimes makes me wonder if I really am overreacting or if I'm onto something. 🤔 it's super frustrating, 'cause the more he's elusive, the more I doubt everything. anyone else been here or have any advice? I don’t wanna feel like this anymore, but I also don’t wanna be in for a nasty surprise later on. I know trust is key in any relationship, but how do you build that if the other person is as vague as a foggy morning? like, is it too much to ask for him to just be a bit more open? I tell myself maybe it’s just how he is, but deep down, I feel it’s causing a rift and it’s gonna lead to a bigger mess if we don’t address it. spare a thought, folks, it ain't easy having these doubts all the time;

okay so im an immigrant and i emigrated to Ireland. I have an Irish friend and me and my other friend, who's half Dutch, were talking about the racism that immigrants have to deal with. then my Irish friend comes up to us and starts annoying us while we were in the middle of a deep talk. when we tell her to stop, she says to just continue our conversation, except she will join in. I was already really ticked off and I got really angry so I told her that she wouldnt understand because shes not like me and my other friend (i know that sounds really bad, but we made up after that). after that, she walked away and started writing in her notebook. (she didnt know that we were talking about racism and immigrants dealing with racism btw) so then I went up to her and I told her that it sounded really bad out of context and that I didnt mean it. she wrote 'you did' in her notebook. then she started walking back to where me and my other friend were sitting and I followed her. she started saying about how she did understand bc her mom left her when she was 4. then she sat down with us and I told her that I only said that because me and my other friend were both from different countries, so we would understand the racism that we face in Ireland more than she would. then she went on a rant about her mother leaving her and about how her mom moved to England, so she understands being from a different country, even though she is Irish. after that I changed the subject and then she started saying the different ways that she would kill her mom if she found her and also saying that she would kill her 5 year old half sister if she could. it was just a really uncomfortable conversation. me and my friend still listened to her though, because we didnt want to make her upset.

I thought it would never happen. I've heard stories of people falling for straight guys, straight girls, everything. but I was like, "You know, I'm not friends with any straight girls. I should be fine!"

But then, this semester, I sat next to her in biology. We exchanged polite smiles, nothing more. Then we started to talk a bit. Then we started talking about exes, guys we liked and didn't like, that sort of thing. She knows I'm not straight. I don't know her sexuality for sure, but she's kind of one of those girls where you can just TELL she's straight.

I don't know why I like her. She's really pretty, and funny, and nice, and she's the sweetest person. But... she likes guys. I'm nonbinary, for context, although she doesn't know that lol

someone help me please, I need to get over her but idk how...