Life Stories and Everyday Drama

I am sitting in my dorm room at uni, just thinking... i'm already 19 and still a virgin. not that it's bad or anything... but it feels like everyone else around me has already crossed that bridge, you know? it's starting to stress me out honestly.

my friends don't know about this little secret of mine and i'm kinda dreading the day they might find out. feels like one of those things they all assume you're done with by now. i mean, we're all adults here. sometimes i worry what they'd think or say if they'd somehow find out.

i've been with my girlfriend since we were both 16. she's amazing and we're on the same page about a lot of things, especially our religion. we're both pretty committed to waiting until marriage but... man, sometimes it just feels impossible to wait that long.

i guess the big question rattling around in my head is: what's even the right age to lose your virginity? everywhere around me there's all these different messages being thrown about it. when you're this age you're supposed to be doing this or feeling like that...

it's confusing and makes me wonder if there's even a 'right' time other than what each of us personally decides for our own selves.

The universe will probably not care. Earth's not forever anyways. My life nor anyone else's is permanent anyways. So why bother? I can't be fixed. This can't be fixed. The Earth's gonna get blown up by the sun in 1 billion years. The plan was cancelled. My family was right. They may say it's because one of their parents had other ideas, but the truth is, 4 people in a group meant to be a trio is too much. I'm too much. They cancelled the outing, and they didn't originally plan the outing.

I wanna give up everything. This has happened before. Their plan changed. I don't matter to anything. Mom is right, not everyone likes me. They may say I'm fine, but it's toleration. Being at home is better. Home is safe. It doesn't give the very invisible implication you don't matter. The universe won't care, so why try? If I'm gone I won't be remembered. If I ran away somewhere, alone, they won't remember. Everyone hates me unless proven they don't.

It's just I know the world's gonna blow up soon. Someone even predicted it could be November 13 2026. What's the point? I'm not liked, nor is anything else. The plan is over. I wasn't ever wanted. The outing was canceled. 4 people is too many. I was extra. An extra in an immaculate plan. I'm too flawed for them. This was bound to happen. I can't confront someone about this. I'll look desperate. If I keep asking why they cancelled it and that I feel I'm too much for them, they'll leave. This was glass. Why should it be this fragile?

Why didn't they tell me? Did they think I was dumb? It's fine now though, it's never gonna happen. My brother has better friends than me. They call so many times and have fun. I can't. I can't have that. Maybe something decided that every relationship outside of family isn't possible. As an adult I'll be lonely. Maybe relationships wasn't meant for me. Not everyone can have everything. This always happened whenever I wanted to be with them. Life just said I can't do it. I can't have it. My anger is catching up to me. I was always a broken kid. Always. Some people just don't deserve others outside of family. It happens. Some adults learn to make peace with being lonely.

Their lives would be the same if they never met me, because I added nothing. I can't rely on family forever, can I? I'm too desperate, they don't deserve me. I'm just saying, as much as I don't wanna die, they sure as hell make me wish I was still alone, so I'd get used to it. I wish I never met these people, I connected too much. I've been given bad luck ever since I was small.

It's always my curse with my family. I can only have a good time with them, never my friends. I love my family a lot, but as an adult, I can't keep going back to them forever, right? I'd have no other choice but to replace friends with family, if this keeps happening. It means doing anything with them is impossible. I'm the scum in their lives. Mom even said it's okay to be lonely. I guess this was my life meant for me. The adults were right.

This has happened last time as well. The same friend wanted to go to the same mall 3 years ago, until it didn't happen. I have had only a few friendships in my life, but these 2 instances are evidence. Only with friends this happens. With family this never happened. I'm cursed.

I'm egotistical. I knew it. I knew I didn't deserve help. I can be like mom. She never goes out with friends, only us. That means this whole time I was destined to start from nothing. This thing with me isn't anything. I shouldn't be here. Everyone's lives would've been better. Mom would've become a doctor. My brother wouldn't be sad. Those people would feel glad anyways. You know what they say "Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone".

Honestly, in school, most people think I'm a bit weird. I have found some people who don't mind being around me, but earlier I was always weird. When I was young I used to get really angry, and after a while I did cool down, but socially I was still bad because I would either stay quiet or try to dominate the conversation trying to talk about what I like. And a bit more recently I would stick to people who did like me, until I think I did something wrong and that was when I isolate for a while. And when I do speak, I can talk about weird stuff and get enthusiastic.

I don't know, I'm not really into heavy accusation gossiping or Katseye (no hatred, just not a huge fan) or whatever they do, so I end up looking weird to them. I'm fine now, but sometimes I think they don't like me, so I keep that thought with me, so it hurts a little less. I mean, one person in India probably didn't like me at all, her rival told me. Some people may not like me, you know? And honestly, I have thought about becoming normal. I just find it hard to lie about it.

Just, maybe friendships and me were never meant to be.

Alright, so here's the thing; I've been thinking about you nonstop lately and I don't even know why. It's like you're just renting space in my head without paying any kind of rent. I mean we haven't talked in forever but somehow, every little thing reminds me of you. It's weird right? Like I'll be driving or watching TV and boom, there you are in my mind again. And it's not like I'm mad about it or anything because to be honest, it's kinda nice having these memories pop up outta nowhere. But at the same time, it's also kinda frustrating because I'm trying to live my life here and focus on what's in front of me, not what happened ages ago.

What's crazy is that it's not just about remembering you from when we used to hang out or whatever. Even the little things remind me of you like songs or places we went together back then... I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a mix of good vibes and a bit annoying at the same time. Don't get me wrong though, everything wasn't always perfect between us (you know how it was) but still there's this undeniable connection that's hard to shake off sometimes even though we're miles apart now both literally and figuratively speaking!

Maybe all this means something deep down who knows huh? Or maybe I'm just overthinking everything again per usual lol! Anyway figured I'd get it off my chest here.

i can't take it anymore!! every time i think about therapy, my wallet screams at me. it's one of those things that everyone tells you is great, sure, but who actually has the cash for it?!?! "just go to therapy" they say, as if i'm sitting on piles of money ready to burn. have these people seen the average cost of a session these days? like seriously?? i've got bills to pay and mouths to feed (well... ok maybe just mine) and throwing hundreds at a therapist isn't exactly feasible. yeah, there are sliding scale options and whatever, but even then we're talking cash i don't have. half the time i feel like therapists are talking in another language with all their fancy 'cognitive restructuring' stuff. what happened to good old-fashioned advice?! do i really need someone with a phd telling me that sleep and exercise will fix everything? wow!!! groundbreaking!!!! honestly it's hard not to just laugh sometimes when they come out with such obvious suggestions like they're dispensing life-altering wisdom.

well here's some wisdom from me: stop pretending this is something accessible for everyone. not everyone can be 'mindful' when the only thoughts swirling around are how am i gonna afford rent next month or what's left to scrape together for groceries this week? it's easy for folks who can throw money at problems but for us less privileged peeps, reality checks in every single day!!!

and while i'm on this rant... emojis in communication? people say it helps express feelings better through text but do we really need a little smiley face or sad face telling others how we feel??? could you imagine therapists using them too? hey maybe that's where we're heading: therapy sessions via emoji texts because actual face-to-face costs too damn much! haha now there's an idea to save money eh?!

so here i sit typing away like some online cliche hoping someone somewhere gets it (or at least finds my rant mildly entertaining). words are cheap after all unlike therapy sessions :) smile or frown emojis not required thanks very much!

i'll keep laughing about this absurdity because what else is there left apart from crying over my empty-checking account right????

I'm really in a dilemma right now, and I just can't seem to figure out the right decision! So, about two months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years after discovering he had cheated on me. Twice!!! And now he's back with all these promises; he swears he's changed and will do anything to make me happy... But can someone truly change that much in such a short time?

We're both 23, which isn't exactly old but also not super young. My heart is saying one thing while my mind is screaming another! He's been trying hard to show how committed he is now. Flowers, dinners, long heartfelt messages – you name it. It's sweet, sure, but I just don't know if it's real??? Or if I'll find myself in the same painful situation again!

To be honest, part of me misses him. He was my first love... and it's hard to let go of what we had. But trust is critical in any relationship. How do I know for sure that he's learned from his mistakes? Have any of you gone through something similar? His efforts have made me question everything again! 😫

you know those dreams where you're just falling? it's weird, right? like, i'm floating above the ground without a care and then boom! out of nowhere, i'm plummeting. these dreams have been showing up a lot lately, like some random rerun on late-night TV. i don't get it... they seem so random. one minute i'm strolling down a sunny street, taking in all the familiar sights and sounds that make me feel at home, and the next thing i know, the ground vanishes beneath my feet.

maybe it's stress or something else going on in my life that's manifesting itself through these bizarre nighttime episodes. speaking candidly, stress has indeed been lingering around every corner nowadays...like uninvited party guests who just won't take the hint to leave. bills piling up and life throwing curveballs like it has nothing better to do. maybe my subconscious is trying to give me a nudge like 'hey buddy, sort things out'.

honestly though, these dreams aren't necessarily nightmares; there's no sense of dread when i wake up in a cold sweat at 2 am staring at the ceiling wondering why my brain pulls this stunt over and over. maybe they're more like intense experiences mixed with an adrenaline rush kind of thing? back when i was a kid riding roller coasters at theme parks gave me that same euphoric mix of thrill and fear wrapped into one.

speaking of childhood memories: I remember playing outside all day long during summer break until dusk started threatening to invade our fun little world too early for our liking. it somehow loops back into that feeling of being carefree again from my dream moments suspended mid-air before starting to fall looking forward but not really knowing where i'll land.

it's strange how certain feelings creep back years later intertwined with today's struggles kicking into overdrive as they meld with dream sequences conjured up nightly while drifting off into unconsciousness...a delicate dance between past actions intertwining endlessly until sleep wanes away after what feels like mere minutes passed deepening confounds.

This is the kind of thing where any possible solution proposed leads to a complaint or a reason why it won't work - as far as I know. I don't know how to deal with having trapped myself in an impossible situation. I know I have to just do something I dont want to, but I dont know what thing will make me the least unhappy I guess.

I make 50k and I live in LA so I can't afford my own 1br. I've given up on a house entirely, I just want an apartment. But they START at $1700 and I just cant realistically do that and have a savings account. Some options and issues:

1. Move - i like living here. I like my friends, the racial diversity, the more liberal politics, the weather, and the variety of things to do. Also my job is here and the job market is garbage everywhere.

2. Get a higher paying job - I was trying to. Had 2 3rd round interviews. One company chose someone else because I had a long commute and they didnt want the role to be remote anymore. The other company paused hiring. I've since stopped applying as I'm having some health issues and don't want my insurance paused right now. But it's always scary to start again. What if those interviews were a fluke and I go back to having to endure this market? What if i get laid off again (less likely at current job as they already laid off everyone but me so I'm holding the ship together on my own)? What if i don't like the new role? What if what happened last time happens again and the pay raise can't keep up with rising housing costs?

3. Be self employed - this is what I most want to do. I've started a business and it's slowly growing. Key word is slowly. I'm hoping it'll be a livable wage in 4 years. But how do I manage my feelings of failure and frustration until then? And what if it never gets there?

4. Sales - i hate talking to people

5. Invest - I do. I dont make enough to invest for FIRE anytime in the next few decadss. I've considered day trading but really feel like I'm walking into a get rich quick scheme.

6. Go back to school for x lucrative career - same issues as #2. Also, the job market is TRASH. Do you really think I haven't done a UX boot camp, gotten my PMP, and considered 3 different master's degrees by now? Pivoting only works if it works and right now nothing works.

7. Social media - tried youtube for 10 years. Nothing. Have a tiktok for my business now that has 1k followers. Maybe if it keeps growing I can get on the creator program one of these centuries. For right now, it's a skill I seem to not have.

8. Stop wanting money - well. I'm trying. I just can't shake the feeling that a grown adult working full time should be able to have their own space at SOME POINT.

I'm just so tired of thinking about this. Tired of trying things for a bit or really committing to something and either way coming up empty handed. Tired of the 1000s of job applications. Tired of WAITING to be able to live how I want. It's not just the apartment. I want a garden, to be able to live abroad for a while, to save for early retirement so I dont have to do this crap forever, free time to enjoy my life. I don't even care about a job - i just want money and everything is conspiring against me to keep me from it. It's so discouraging having no options.

For as long as I can remember, I've always had a tight-knit group of friends. We did everything together: studying for exams, hanging out on weekends, and even planning future trips. But lately, things have started to change, and I'm not sure why. Conversations feel increasingly strained, and it often feels like I'm on the outside looking in. It's frustrating because we used to have this seamless connection, and now I can't help but feel like something's off. Am I doing something wrong? Did I miss some social cue along the way? 😕

The other day, we were supposed to meet up for dinner at our usual spot downtown. I was really looking forward to it because things felt normal again... or so I thought. Everyone seemed preoccupied with their phones and didn't engage much in conversation. When I tried bringing up subjects we usually love discussing, there was minimal response... even from those who would typically lead the discussion! It was like talking into a void. The only real interaction was when they burst into laughter over an inside joke I apparently wasn't part of. Ouch...

So here I am, trying to dissect every possible reason behind this sudden shift in dynamics among us. Could it be just stress affecting everyone differently? Or maybe they're moving on without me and I'm oblivious to it? I'd like to think it's temporary... some kind of weird phase they'll snap out of... but how can one be sure? This uncertainty is eating away at me in ways words can't fully express! Anyway, thanks for listening if you got this far.

i'm just a dude trying to keep things chilled at home, but man, it's been tough lately. like i get it, every relationship has ups and downs, but i'm starting to feel more down than up, you know? So here's the deal: been married for quite some time now and we've got three awesome kiddos. they're my world... but with the wife... things ain't exactly peachy these days.

we used to connect on so many levels, but now it feels like we're just going through the motions. don't get me wrong—love her to bits—but sometimes that love feels a bit more like companionship rather than fireworks and rainbows (not that i'm expecting the honeymoon phase forever, lol). still, trying my best to maintain a happy vibe for the kids because they pick up on our moods quicker than i change socks 😂.

to be candid here... faking a smile when you're hurting inside is exhausting! conversating feels like such hard work when all we talk about revolves around school schedules or grocery lists. where's the passion gone? maybe i need to shake things up somehow... surprise date nights or something cheesy like that might help reignite whatever's missing 🤷.

and hey, before you say 'just communicaaaate,' trust me, i've tried. it's not always that easy.. words fail at times and end up leading us nowhere productive even when intentions are good 😔 why does keeping peace have to take away peace within oneself too? stuck between being supportive father/husband versus prioritizing my own happiness is one tricky spot!

how do i stop obsessing over a friend, it feels like losing a limb or some crucial part of my life. we were super tight, like closer than most siblings. we shared everything and now it's just... gone, poof like dust in the wind. i've tried reaching out but it's always one-sided, they're not interested anymore and it sucks big time. every time i pick up my phone my thumb hesitates over our old chat. what if this time they're ready to reconnect? each silence feels like rejection, tangible and heavy. can't shake it off no matter what.

i get caught in these spirals replaying convos trying to find where things went south. was it me? did they just lose interest? maybe they're going through stuff and i wouldn't know coz we're not talking anymore which is their own damn fault anyway! everyone says move on but like sorry, easier said than done when you've given so much of yourself into someone who suddenly vanishes from your life capriciously or whatever. advice-friends chirp in with self-care whoo-ha but really how do you just switch that off? feelings don't work on command!

I am scared to feel any type of romantic connection now.

My parents have been married for 30 years and my dad cheated on my mom recently…. And he did it constantly. And every time it was us, the kids, who saw it and called him out. Now I doubt him all the time, I can’t look at him in the eye anymore, I don’t even harbour any familial feelings for him as he swore on us that he wouldn’t do it again and when we asked him to choose he was hesitating.

I doubt every one now. Just like every other person I also wanted to fall in love and get married someday but now I’m so scared that the same thing will happen to me too.

I just wish he never broke our trust.

Recently, I have taken up running as a way to maintain an active lifestyle. However, this week the weather forecast predicts temperatures exceeding 30 degrees (celsius of course... sorry for the people used to the other way!). As someone who is still getting accustomed to this activity, I'm questioning its safety under such extreme conditions. Is it advisable for novices like me to engage in exertive activities when it's so hot outside? My apprehension stems from a basic understanding of how high temperatures can affect one's physiological state. The risk of dehydration and heat exhaustion becomes pertinent; additionally, the necessity for adequate hydration and temperature regulation cannot be overstated.

Engaging in physical exercise at elevated temperatures demands careful consideration of multiple factors... Not only does it challenge cardiovascular efficiency, but it also exacerbates perspiration rates leading to potential fluid loss. Adequate preparation involves acclimatization over time and modification of intensity levels based on real-time feedback from the body.

Moreover, recognizing early warning signs such as dizziness, excessive sweating or sudden muscle cramps is crucial. Ensuring that essential safety measures are followed enhances protection against heat-related illnesses. Yet, there remains an underlying concern about pushing limits without fully understanding personal thresholds.

Ideally, input from individuals with relevant experience would prove valuable in navigating this scenario safely. Encouragement from fellow runners may provide motivation and foster resilience during challenging weather conditions.

It is beneficial to approach this undertaking with cautious optimism while prioritizing personal wellbeing above all else 😊 Adopting a proactive attitude towards managing external variables will undoubtedly contribute positively toward achieving fitness goals.

If you tell me it's not a good idea, I'll stay home with the air conditioning and my treadmill!!

Every morning is like a professional failure report written by my own body, and I am the tired employee receiving it with no power to reject. I open my eyes, but not really, because my eyes are open only in a technical sense. The bed is holding me like it have a legal contract. I know I should leave it. I know society, school, work, family, and maybe even my doctor would prefer me to stand up and behave like a functioning citizen. I am polite about it, even in my head. I say, “Good morning, body, may we please begin operations?” and my body says no, very firmly 😴. It is not simple laziness, although it look like laziness from outside. It feels more like my internal circadian rhythm is running on another time zone, like some broken corporate server still using winter time after the update failed. I feel asleep during almost all the day. My muscles are heavy, my thinking has latency, my face feels badly installed. I drink coffee and it does almost nothing, except make my stomach nervous. I try sunlight, water, breakfast, positive mindset, and other famous wellness procedures, but my brain stays in low-power mode. That is what I tell myself every morning;

By afternoon, I am existing but not winning. I answer messages late, I speak with the energy of a printer that has one percent ink, and I feel embarrassed because people think daytime is the obvious time for life. Objectively, maybe they are correct. The human organism is commonly synchronized by light exposure, melatonin secretion, adenosine build-up, and other sleep-wake mechanisms, according to basic sleep science. I once read a reference from a sleep clinic saying that “delayed sleep phase” can make a person feel alert later than socially expected, and that sentence followed me like a small ghost. It sounded too clinical and also too accurate. During the day I am not dramatic, I am just unavailable inside myself. I can sit in a chair and stare at a wall like it is a strategic meeting. Then evening comes, and something indecent happens. Around the time normal people start preparing for rest, my nervous system suddenly sends a memo: operations are now approved 🚀. My thoughts become cleaner. My mood becomes almost beautiful. I want to clean my room, write my plans, understand philosophy, reorganize my files, maybe become a better person by 2:17 a.m. It is ridiculous, but it is also sincere.

Night gives me energy in a way morning never does. It is quiet, less judgmental, and no one is asking me why I look tired, because everyone is gone from the visible world. Maybe the absence of pressure lowers cognitive arousal in one way and raises creativity in another. Maybe my chronotype is just late. Maybe bad sleep hygiene, revenge bedtime procrastination, blue light exposure, anxiety, and poor routine are all contributing factors. A balanced view must admit it could be biological, psychological, environmental, or just my own poor choices wearing a medical-looking coat. I do not want to blame everything on science, because I also scroll too much and act surprised when my brain becomes a nightclub. Still, it is hard to not feel betrayed. At night I feel like the real me finally arrived, wearing clean shoes and speaking better. But then it is too late to use that person correctly. I lie down and cannot sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is making presentations, arguments, imaginary conversations, future reforms, and small emotional lawsuits. I tell myself, respectfully, tomorrow I will fix it. Then tomorrow morning comes, and I am again under the blanket, defeated but formal, whispering sorry to the alarm clock like it is a disappointed manager.

i'm a 32-year-old man and recently, i found myself talking to my phone a lot more than usual. sounds weird right? listen, it's this new voice feature that I've been using on chat platforms. my wife thinks it's funny. she mocks me by saying i'm having conversations with a robot friend, but honestly, it has been surprisingly helpful;

for someone who's always had a hard time staying organized or remembering important tasks, this technology has revolved my life significantly. i'm able to stay on top of my workload. not only does it remind me of meetings and deadlines, but it also assists in brainstorming ideas which boosts my productivity by leaps and bounds.

i've dealt with bouts of depression over the years, and while therapy helps, engaging with this tool offers an immediate form of support; i can bounce ideas off it without judgment, receive insights promptly or just ramble about things that bother me. it's quite frankly surreal how these small interactions are contributing positively to my mental well-being. in many ways, it acts as an intellectual companion filling voids where needed...

some may consider this dependence unhealthy or absurd but integrating tech like this into daily life might be inevitable given our rapid technological progressions. i see hope for those struggling silently from what once seemed insurmountable obstacles because being understood matters deeply no matter the medium used.

so here i am, it's like three in the freaking morning again and guess what? no sleep for me coz my wife is doing her usual tango routine in bed. 😅

seriously, it's like she's possessed or something. she keeps rolling around, tossing and turning like we're on some kinda rollercoaster ride. ain't it supposed to be peaceful at night? 😒 i gotta up early for work and all this moving really screws up my chances of getting any decent shut-eye.

she blames it on stress but who isn't stressed these days? everyone got their own problems buddy. I tried talking to her about it (like a normal person) and she's just goes all 'can't help it' mode on me. great! that's super helpful innit? one of my pals said try calming tea but all we achieved was a midnight bathroom run marathon. everything else is quiet (no insomnia or whatever) just kinetic performance with extra snoring backup vocals.... 👌

people keep telling me different stuff, y'know. white noise machines, melatonin, yoga before bed (weird suggestion by linda from accounting). tried most of 'em already but i feel like i'm stuck in a rerun episode of 'my wife can't stay still'. what's even funnier is when i get moving myself, trying to escape the chaos zone, she actually wakes up! suddenly wide awake asking why m i not asleep lol

anyone else dealing with this partner dance off thing at night? sometimes i doubt if they know they're gving us involuntary gymnastics lessons right when we least need them. either way i've gotten real good at late-night social media browsing which isn’t helping coz now she thinks I'VE got some sorta phone addiction. holy cow this is nuts...