Life Stories and Everyday Drama

I love my husband very much. He's always been there for me and he's very supportive and I feel very fortunate to him in my life. That being said he also has some neurotic tendencies. I'm well aware of them and I'm pretty sure he's had them since forever. His parents have kind of warned me about them but I'm a very understanding person and for the most part I can easily address his tendencies and then kind of calm him down.

I'm also somewhat positive that he's probably on the spectrum and refuses to get tested because of the negative connotations. I was recently tested and I'm on the spectrum as well, high functioning but it just helps explain some of my unique tendencies.

Some of his "tendencies" are also linked to separation anxiety or abandonment issues. I don't know where they stem from I just know that when we are separate from each other, his actions feel exacerbated.

He's away at a conference right now and he always gets super clingy when he's away. I don't do anything different and just live my life how I do everyday but he's always blowing up my phone and if I don't pick up or respond to his text, he gets super clingy and worried, and like even more clingy than before. If I don't pick up his text messages or his phone calls, he will check my location just to make sure I am where I say I am. I've never cheated on him, I will not cheat on him. I have been cheated on before and I think it's terrible. When we first entered our relationship 8 years ago, We express to each other that we had both been cheated on and that it's something we would never do to each other. We both agree that if we want out of the relationship, it's easier to tell the other person that rather than to play with their emotions . We also have a very open and honest communication relationship. We talk daily and we tell each other everything. It does not bother me, it's like we are best friends.

Right now, we are also in the stages of buying a house. While he was away I noticed a house that popped up on the market and I reached out to a realtor because I I thought it would be good to tour it before someone else makes an offer on it. The house is great. It matches all of our needs and while I was touring the house with my agent, I also had the pleasure of being on my phone with my husband through FaceTime. I didn't necessarily want to FaceTime him and I wanted to experience the house but he was adamant that I walk through the house with him. When we finish walking through the house I thought maybe we should put through an offer because it does meet all of our needs and it's in our price point. My husband was adamant that we need to tour it again with him in person before we put down an offer. I told our agent that I would prefer if she did the research to find out if anyone is making an offer or if the house has any potential offers because I don't want to lose this house and I'm prepared to put forth an offer before my husband sees the house. My husband heard all of this through FaceTime. While we were leaving the house, my husband wanted me to show him the front yard so I did that and then I wanted to leave and I got in my car to drive off and I hung up on him through FaceTime. Immediately after hanging up on him, he started calling me on my phone. I didn't respond the first time so he called again and again, and again...this time while I was backing out of the driveway. I ended up turning down the wrong street and going down the road the wrong way because he kept calling my phone and it gave me weird anxiety and distracted me.

He knew I was leaving to drive home and yet he called me six times. I don't have a new car. I have an old Hyundai . I do not have a touch screen or even a backup cam. I have a very standard 2012 Hyundai Accent. I have the old school Bluetooth. I have to hit a button on my steering wheel to pick up the call. I was so flustered by all of his phone calls that I had to pull over, pick up the phone and collect myself. He wanted to talk more about the house. I was so pissed because I felt like he was hounding me and all I was trying to do was go home. He didn't give me any space and I didn't appreciate that. He also was frantic and wanted to talk all about it and said that he arranged for another tour when he lands back home after his conference Even though our agent had already scheduled a tour... Now, he wants me to pick him up from the airport and drive him to the house just so he can see it in person and we can do the tour together. I'm annoyed. I feel like he doesn't trust my opinion and I feel like he talks over me and at me, not with me. I think I'm just venting this out because I want to understand if my feelings are validated or not.

Mother taking advantage of me leading me to not be able to get a job, or go to college

Due to that I feel like I have no control over my life

being stuck at home everyday with minimal things to do or people to talk to

Heath issues that may be due to mother issues

Increased self doubt and decreased attempts to try and help the situation because I feel stuck

Since its always been this way, whenever I try to amend the situation, I'm hit with backlash due to mother not wanting things to change.

Suicidal ideation increases due to loneliness and no path in life

being jealous of other people having jobs/going to school/going out/having friends/essentially doing normal human things.

What's the point of life? I feel like a bird with no wings or voice, perpetually stuck watching others but having no say in anything. I feel like I try, but not hard enough.

I have a group of about 8 friends. in the same class since about grade 1. after our discrepancies, we grew really close from around grade 8 till matric. we would have little outings here and there and it was fun

until we matriculated and grew apart little by little. we still manage to chat normally on the group, but it's not the same as before. since last year, I would dread going out. simply because they had changed and I had changed and topics that were of interest to them would not be the same for me. and that is obvious and understandable, as we are all growing and changing. what stands out to me is that everytime a plan to go out was made, the first thought that came to my mind was that I don't even agree with the topics they speak about, the jokes they make. some of them still remained close, had their inside jokes and all you know. they would even crack perverted jokes, leaving some discomfort and awkwardness in the air for me and another girl as those just weren't our thing. so maybe, you could say I didnt like to be around them because I didn't feel part of it ? like I didn't belong? I don't know. I basically didn't have the energy to enthusiastically go and look for the positives. being around them drained me because it was all so out of my interest line. I struggled to refuse everytime cuz they made it a bit hard. I did refuse a few times, but they always went on about how they always the ones putting in the effort and making plans, while others just blue tick, don't respond, and cancel plans

after a few months, the next time they made a plan, I dreaded again. but I gave it a shot, thinking I also need a break and maybe it's not that bad after all. one of my close friends, the one whose quite similar to me- quiet, not feeling like it's her people anymore either- didn't come on that day. I sat there normally, trying to enjoy the moment. later that night, I get a message from one of my friends( the one who complained about us cancelling) asking if I'm okay, and that I was oddly quiet. after a conversation, I explained the situation, how I don't feel like it, how and why I don't like to refuse and all, and she finally understood and said hope I get better? what did she mean ?

anyways, point is- they brought up the idea of another plan again (note we are all on good terms with eachother. she didn't hate on me after that convo, if you were wondering). this time, I wanted to go, and I was excited about the whole idea. but they're kind of delayed and haven't decided anything yet. I hesitated to ask because I know I'll be in now, and then slowly as the time comes to meet, I'll lose the excitement and begin dreading again. and then it's either a last minute cancellation ( which I know is unfair to everyone) or I am half heartedly present on that day. problem is, I usually do, and did, really enjoy being with them. even after I realised they weren't my people anymore, there were days when I went out/met them and actually fully enjoyed myself.

so.... I don't know what's the problem. why I feel this way. I guess I don't want to give them up because I also have quite a limited social life, and ofcourse, we've been close since childhood.

I don't know

ok so like i don’t wanna sound mean or ungrateful or whatever, but my boyfriend is sooo clingy and i honestly don’t kno what to do about it anymore. like at first i thought it was cute, you kno? he’d always text me good morning and good night, always want to talk and tell me how much he likes me and stuff. and yeah, that felt nice at the beginning, cuz i never really had someone like pay that much attention to me before. but now it’s like... too much. like way too much. he wants to talk all the time, like literally 24/7. if i don’t answer his text in like 10 mins he starts asking if i’m mad or if something’s wrong or if i’m "losing feelings" 😩. like no dude, i was just doing homework or eating dinner with my fam, calm down!! i can’t even breathe without him needing some kind of reassurance, and it’s starting to really bug me.

it’s not just the texting either. he always wants to be with me at school too, like during lunch or between classes and even when i’m just tryna hang out with my other friends, he’s there. always right there. and i feel bad saying this but like... sometimes i just wanna chill with my girls without him clinged to me like glue 😭. one time i told him i needed a lil space to just hang with my friends and he got all quiet and moody for the rest of the day, like i did something wrong. like i’m not even allowed to have time without him or something. it’s starting to feel like i’m in this relationship with a puppy who cries the second you leave the room. i know that sounds harsh but fr that’s how it feels sometimes. nd the more i try to pull back a little, the more he pushes in closer.

what really gets me is that i don’t even think he means to be like this. like i know he likes me a lot, and that’s sweet and all, but it’s like he doesn’t understand that people need space too. like, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be glued together 24 hours a day. i wanna miss him sometimes. i wanna have space to think, to breathe, to still be my own person. but every time i try to explain that to him, he acts like i’m breaking up with him or something. and i’m not! i don’t even want to break up. i just want him to chill out a bit. it’s just getting so hard to enjoy anything when i feel like i’m constantly babysitting his feelings. like, i can’t even say “i’m busy” without a whole dramatic convo about whether or not i still care about him. bro, it’s not that deep, i just got math homework 😭.

i really don’t know what to do at this point. i don’t wanna hurt him cuz he’s honestly such a sweet guy and i know he means well, but this clingy stuff is really driving me nuts. i feel like if i keep letting it slide, i’m gonna start really resentin him, and that’s not fair to either of us. but if i bring it up again, i’m scared he’s just gonna shut down like always and make me feel bad again. i’m only 16 and already feel like i’m stuck in this adult relationship with all this pressure, when it’s supposed to be fun and cute, right? i just wish he could trust that i care about him even if we don’t talk 24/7. idk maybe i’m the bad one here for wanting space, maybe i’m just not ready for this kinda thing. but i really hope he can back off a little without it turning into some huge thing, cuz if not… i’m not sure how much longer i can keep doing this.

I'm just gonna refer to this person as Vi. So Vi was my close friend and also former crush. I had a huge crush on Vi when I was around 9 up until I was 14. Just for context, both me and Vi are female. When I confessed, Vi explained that she finds it disgusting to date a woman. At the time, I was really shattered by this and I still am until now. But let's fast forward to recently, I've finally managed to move on and fall in love with this girl who I'll just call as Kiwi. Since Vi was like a best friend to me regardless of what she said before, I told her that I really like Kiwi. I originally thought she was gonna be happy that I've finally stopped bothering her or anything. She got mad instead. She yelled at me for liking Kiwi and said that Kiwi is a big red flag for me. Even though she has never met nor talked to Kiwi before. This went on for a really long time until Kiwi got a girlfriend. Obviously, I was really heartbroken by this and tried to vent to Vi about this. But Vi dismissed my feelings and kept saying that she was right all along and I was just the idiot who fell in love. She also added that no one will like me as much as she does at all and I should be with her instead. If Vi had told me that years ago, I would've accepted it and gladly be her girlfriend. But now I really like Kiwi and I can't really just drop my current crush for someone who called me disgusting before. I told her I wasn't interested and apologised because I don't have any feelings for her anymore. She got even more furious after that comment and told me that I will never find anyone and I'll always suffer in romantical relationships. (P.S, I feel like this is a curse because it's true somehow. I am still unable to find love until today and I still suffer in finding love.) After that had happened, Vi went into my account without my knowledge, screenshotted the vents that I had vented to my friend about Kiwi getting a girlfriend and she posted it. I tried confronting Kev about this but she ignored me and changed the topic every single time. Soon, I started to give up and trying to communicate and it seems like she had also noticed it. But instead of trying to talk to me again, she spread a bunch of rumours about me online and told everyone all my secrets. The rumours got too intense at some point so I decided to just block her. After blocking her, I've received a few screenshots from friends. The screenshots consist of Vi telling everyone that she's glad that I've left her and I am a horrible monster. She also added that since I'm gone now she could easily spread even more rumours about me and laugh at me. Furthermore, she also wished that I would off myself one day and added how annoying I was and she had waited for this day to come for ages. Now I'm really wondering what I've actually did wrong and am I actually someone who messed up.

I used to wake up every morning and the first thing I’d think about was him. What he needed, what he wanted, what would make his day easier. For years, my life was completely wrapped around someone else’s comfort. I thought that was what love was supposed to be—giving, giving, giving. And then giving some more. I didn’t even notice how little of myself was left. After the divorce, I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. Not because I’d changed overnight, but because I’d been gone for so long I forgot what it felt like to actually be me. It took everything falling apart for me to realize I hadn’t loved myself in a long time. Maybe never. I was so busy being everything for someone else, I forgot how to be anything for myself.

The divorce wasn’t just an end to a marriage, it was like tearing off a layer of skin. Everything was raw. And lonely. I thought I’d feel free, but at first, all I felt was empty. And embarassed. Like I’d failed somehow, like I’d wasted all those years. Friends told me, “Now you can start over,” but I didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t even know what I liked to eat without him deciding. What music I wanted to play in the car. What shows I liked that weren’t his favorites. It sounds silly, but those little things matter. They’re pieces of you that you give up so slowly, you don’t even notice until you’re sitting in silence, alone, and don’t know what playlist to pick.

At first, I tried to fill the silence with distractions. I downloaded dating apps, I went out with friends even when I didn’t feel like it, I tried to prove to everyone that I was fine, better than fine. But I wasn’t. I was tired. emotionally and physically. I was carrying so much guilt and resentment and just… loss. I had to admit to myself that healing wasn’t gonna come from someone new. It had to come from me. From me giving myself all the care and attention I’d been giving someone else for over a decade. It meant sitting with my pain, even when it sucked. It meant crying in the car after grocery shopping. It meant stop pretending.

Little by little, I started doing small things just for me. I took walks without needing a destination. I started journaling, even if half the time I just wrote “i don’t know what i’m doing.” I went to therapy even tho it made me uncomfortable at first. I took long baths and lit candles for me, not for a vibe or for someone to notice. I started trying new hobbies, just to see if anything sparked joy. Painting, badly. Cooking things he’d never eat. Reading books that weren’t on his shelf. Bit by bit, I felt like I was meeting myself for the first time. And I kinda liked her. She was quieter than I remembered. Softer. But also stronger.

The biggest shift came when I stopped asking what I had done wrong to deserve the way he treated me. Because loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. And I finally understood that if you don’t love yourself first, you’ll accept a love that doesn’t love you back the right way. You’ll bend, shrink, hide, just to make it work. And that’s not love—that’s survival. And I don’t want to just survive anymore. I want to live. I want to laugh and feel proud and be loved the way I deserve, starting with myself. I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t need to have it all figured out. But I need to be kind to me.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re where I was, lost and grieving and doubting yourself… please know this: you are not broken. You are not unloveable. But you do have to choose you. Even if it feels selfish. Even if it hurts at first. Love yourself first, because you’re the one person who’s gonna be there from start to finish. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel whole. Be the one who shows up for you. Every damn day.

I have a Father that is stubborn and neglectful, he would either give you the cold shoulder or talk non-stop.

My mom is criticizing and verbally abusive.. She would give you a label that sticks for life and will not change her mind about who you are.

My biggest sister was physically abusive and would do things according to her own convenience, regardless of whose day she ruined.

My first little sister is lazy and treats you like a ghost, she's sloppy and would leave garbage everywhere..

My youngest sister is a condescending arrogant bitch...

I am unlucky enough to be the only son in a family filled with women I would not want to live with.. They set up the standard for all my relationship, which is why I'm mostly single..

I spend my whole life trying to break free of the chains that is my family, and I have reached the age where they would constantly pester me about chaining myself to another family of my own...

I want to live by myself, free to do what I want, for fuck's sake, free to simply choose what color of bed sheets I like instead of getting lectures everytime I do something that is not up to their standards..

I just want to live free...

but in a way, I am wishing for them to disappear... And I feel guilty

Lately, I’ve been going to work with a knot in my stomach, and I can’t really explain why. It’s not the tasks—I’m actually pretty good at what I do. I meet my deadlines, I show up on time, I don’t slack off. But there’s this weird vibe around me, like a silent wall I can’t break through. People don’t smile when I say good morning. My suggestions in meetings are either ignored or shot down like they’re stupid. I’ll say something, and no one reacts—then someone else says almost the same thing, and suddenly everyone’s nodding like it’s genius. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself maybe they’re just busy or having a bad day. But it’s been months. And now I’m starting to wonder… why do people hate me for no reason? Because that’s how it feels. Like I walk into the room and immediately get side-eyed or dismissed, and I honestly don’t know what I did wrong.

I’ve replayed everything in my head a million times. I’m not rude, I don’t gossip, I mind my own business. I even bring snacks sometimes just to lighten the mood. I try to make small talk when it's appropriate, ask people about their weekends, compliment someone’s outfit. But the responses are always short, cold, like they’re trying to get rid of me. And then I see them laughing together, making lunch plans, having these inside jokes I’m never a part of. It’s not that I want to be everyone’s best friend, but it’d be nice to feel like I’m not the unwanted one in the office. Like I actually belong there. Sometimes I wonder if I give off some kind of energy I’m not aware of. Do I look too serious? Too quiet? Too something? It messes with your head after a while. You start doubting yourself, even when logically, you know you haven’t done anything to deserve being left out.

The worst is when I actually do speak up about it, or hint at how I feel, and people act like I’m being dramatic. “Oh no one hates you,” they say. “You’re overthinking it.” But they don’t see what I see. They’re not the ones being left out of group chats or ignored in conversations. They don’t feel the tension when they walk into the breakroom. They don’t catch the glances, the whispering that suddenly stops when I get too close. It’s a silent kind of exclusion, the kind you can’t really prove, but you feel it in your chest every single day. And the more people deny it, the more isolated I feel. Because then it’s not just them pushing me away—it’s also me being made to feel crazy for noticing it at all.

I’ve considered quitting more times than I can count. But then I ask myself: am I gonna run away from every place that treats me like this? Or should I just grow thicker skin and push through it? That’s what people always say, right? “Don’t take it personal,” “just focus on your work,” “they’re probably jealous.” But saying that doesn’t take the pain away. It doesn’t make the loneliness easier. It doesn’t make me feel any less like the outsider. I want to believe that things will change, that maybe one person will reach out, invite me in, make me feel like I matter. But that hasn’t happened yet. And I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of wondering if I did something wrong when I’ve bent over backwards trying to be kind, respectful, and professional.

So yeah, I don’t know why people hate me for no reason. Maybe there is a reason and they’re just too immature to say it to my face. Or maybe it’s all in their heads, their projections, their issues. Whatever it is, I’m slowly learning that I can’t let their coldness define how I see myself. I’m still showing up, still doing the best I can, even if no one claps for me when I succeed. And maybe that’s enough for now. Maybe one day I’ll find a workplace where I don’t feel like a ghost. But until then, I’m holding on. Trying to believe I’m not as unlikable as they make me feel. Because deep down, I know I deserve better. Even if they never see it.

my day went horrbie cuz I said the most stupids shit I ever said it bad cuz I didnt mean to say that it just came out of mouth I didn't want to do anything about it so I'ma just skip tm I don't wanna deal with this bullshit dude it hurts so fucking much I cant even explain how it does its fucking stupid I just want to kms after that I swear I don't wanna be here anymore after that dude I am hurt rn I am tried of this shit dude..

Technically its not much of a school story but i couldnt find a similair tag.

My best friend(ill call her B) tends to say things on my behalf and it started off sort of small, she told our homeroom teacher that i had a mental problem which was why i was frequently not doing the homework, of course i was mad but i let it go but after that, people would come up to me and say "you have adhd, right?" Or just screaming "you have autism!" In the halls (both of which i dont have) i wasnt bothered much but it tends to get annoying if people just point and stare for something i dont have. Another thing she does oh so nicely on my behalf(note the sarcasm) is go up to my other bestfriend ( ill call her v, we are a trio) after they get into a fight which was practically happening every two dats or so, and hand her a note stating that she, B and i wont be friends with her anymore, i had no say in this and i keep ask her to stop since im never involved in their fights and would like to still be friends with v but she still included my name. After a big fight between them( i dont know what for) B stopped being friends with V even though v tried to make up and become friends again, ofc its her choice and id respect it but! She clearly doesnt respect mine since whenever i try to talk to V ( we are still close) she just comes up and goes " why are you talking to our classmate" in the most 'i want you to leave' tone and then grabs my hand and drags me away from her but she still manages to get jealous when v makes new friends and slowly distances from us. Im not sure if i should keep quiet or if i should just ask her to stop. Im just worried if i speak up that i would lose B, we are close and i feel safe around her, i dont want to destroy that.

my story doesn't fall into family drama but I couldn't find another fitting category

so...I'm a student in university and I have this exam coming. Fail and you pay quite a huge amount to rebook.

I've been trying to study for it since Sun and I've been stuck on module 1(a 2 hour educational video) ever since. I've only managed to study 40 mins. I'm delayed due to procrastination and laziness and I'm forever fighting for time. I sit and try to study in my room so I hardly see my family even though it's my study break right now.

a few minutes ago, I was on a call with my grandparents and they said they won't speak to me much and occupy my time since they know I have an exam coming. they teared up while mentioning that I always work so hard and that they pray I do well and ace the exam.

it hurts to know that I'm not even working that hard, I'm not even putting in that much effort even though I have the time and means and yet they all hold me so high. how do I tell them that I don't work that hard - not studying 24/7 because I'm so lazy and a procrastinator ? internally I'm broken because I know my truth and I can't find the heart to tell anyone here that I can't find myself to sit for long enough with full concentration and be efficient and productive without getting distracted and needing to watch something to make me feel happy and less ...lonely ? I don't know

I was supposed to leave a question but I honestly don't know what my point was and I don't know what I'm feeling or what I need to ask 😭

thank you for listening to me!

I'm learning Korean just for the fun of it (I'm a Kpop fan, don't judge me)

It's proving WAY harder than I originally thought ngl-

but I'm using Duolingo, and I listen to A LOT of Kpop, so I should be good ig?

idk

but listening to kpop in theory should help, it's possible (the lead singer of one ok rock [japanese] learned English by listening to Linkin Park so...)

When I told my friend I'm learning Korean, she said "Bro no way-"

idk it's like i'm just blank

I never thought I’d be in this position. You raise your kids, you give them everything you’ve got—your time, your money, your love—and you think one day it’ll all make sense. That maybe they’ll appreciate it, or at the very least, respect you as they get older. But now, at 56 years old, I find myself constantly walking on eggshells around my own children, who are in their 20s and early 30s. They speak to me in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of speaking to my parents. The tone, the eye-rolls, the sarcasm—it stings more than I care to admit. I try to talk to them like adults, to find common ground, but everything turns into an argument or gets brushed off like I’m some outdated relic who doesn’t get it. They treat me like I’m clueless, like my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t expect them to agree with me on everything, of course, but there’s a basic level of decency I thought we’d built—and lately, I just don’t feel it.

It’s hard, because I still see the little kids in them. I remember teaching them how to ride a bike, watching movies together, helping with homework. I didn’t always get it right, I’ll admit that. I made mistakes, like any parent. I worked a lot, I was strict at times, I didn’t always know how to express emotions the way they wanted. But everything I did, I did out of love and a desire to see them succeed. And now that they’re grown, it’s like the script has flipped completely. They criticize the way they were raised, throw words like “toxic” and “trauma” around like darts. And it hurts. It hurts more than I can put into words. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt. I don’t get asked how I’m doing. I just get blamed for everything that went wrong, while all the good I tried to do gets forgotten. And the worst part is, I start to question myself. Was I really that bad of a father? Or are they just seeing me through a lens I’ll never be able to clean?

I’ve been trying to find ways to reconnect, to rebuild that mutual respect. But I’ll be honest, I don’t always know where to start. I’ve read the books, tried to open up more, asked for their thoughts even when it’s hard to hear. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it just makes things worse. I try not to react when they get rude, but I’m still human. It’s difficult not to take it personal when your own child rolls their eyes at you or talks to you like you’re stupid. I want to be close to them, but not at the cost of being constantly disrespected. So if you’re asking how to deal with disrespectful adult children, I guess the best I can say is: stay patient, keep the door open, but don’t let yourself be walked on. Set boundaries, as hard as that is when you love them so much. And maybe one day they’ll understand that you weren’t trying to control them—you were just trying your best to love them in the only way you knew how.

i don’t even kno where to start, it’s just this feeling that’s been sittin heavy on me for a while now. like every room i walk into, every group chat i’m in, every lunch table, i just feel out of place. like no one actually wants me there. they tolerate me, maybe, but they don’t really like me. and i kno that sounds dramatic or whatever, but that’s how it feels. i’ll say something and everyone either ignores it or just moves on like i never spoke. then someone else says the same exact thing and they all laugh or agree. it’s like i’m invisible. i used to think i was just overthinking it, like maybe i was being too sensitive or reading into stuff, but it keeps happening over and over. my friends, if i can even call them that anymore, don’t really reach out. i’m always the one texting first, always the one making plans. if i don’t, no one checks in. nd when i do text, sometimes it takes hours or days to get a reply. but then i see them active online, postin stories, likin stuff, hangin out together without me. nd yeah it hurts. like really bad. makes me wonder what’s so wrong with me that i’m always the one left out. i try to be nice, to be fun, to be someone people wanna be around. but it never feels like enough. nd it’s not just friends either, it’s like in class too, or anywhere really. like when i talk people dont listen, like i just fade into the background.

sometimes i wonder if it’s just who i am. maybe i’m too quiet, or maybe too awkward or boring. maybe i say weird stuff without realizing it. maybe my face looks stuck-up or my laugh is annoying or i just give off some weird vibe people dont like. nd i kno it’s stupid to care so much, but how do you not care when it feels like no one sees you? not really. i’m tired of pretending like it dont bother me, like being alone all the time is fine, like scrolling through pics of people having fun without me doesn’t make me wanna cry. nd i hate how much power it has over me, how one ignored text or one missed invite can ruin my whole day. i wish i could just not care, just be happy with myself no matter what, but i don’t even kno who that is anymore. it’s like i’m always trying to be enough for people who don’t even notice i’m trying. and it sucks. it makes me feel like maybe i’m just meant to be the background character in everyone’s life. and no matter how hard i try to change it, that feeling just stays. always. so yeah, why do i feel like no one likes me? maybe cuz deep down, i don’t really like me either. and maybe that’s the real problem.