Life Stories and Everyday Drama

so i don’t get why people can be so rude at work. i mean, all these managers are supposed to be examples of leadership but they just treat everyone like dirt. like, you’d think it wouldn’t be that hard to just treat people with some basic kindness and respect, right?

every day there’s a new thing someone has done or said that just makes me question humanity. last week, one of the higher-ups yelled at my friend over something small and, honestly, it wasn’t even her fault! i know stuff gets stressful but man... have some decency.

just yesterday, another manager brushed off my concerns without even listening. they act like they're too busy to bother with us mere mortals. it's annoying how folks in charge can be so out of touch with the reality on the ground. guess that’s why i’m here ranting about it.

feeling unappreciated at work has been an ongoing struggle for me. i put in the hours, deliver quality results, and consistently go above and beyond my job description. yet, despite my efforts, there's a stagnant ceiling that blocks any upward movement within the company. it’s frustrating to pour so much energy into a place and not see any professional growth or recognition for it! i mean, how hard is it to acknowledge someone's hard work???

my skills are constantly overlooked while others with less experience seem to shoot up the ranks effortlessly. it's like management has blinders on when it comes to actual contribution versus who can talk the most in meetings... 🙄 my contributions speak volumes in terms of both efficiency and innovation. still, those who play politics better get recognized instead!!!! this leaves me questioning why i continue to invest so much of myself here when appreciation seems reserved for a select few... it's demotivating being stuck in the same position with no chance to develop further.

I never thought work could affect my sleep this much, but here I am. Insomnia has become a nightly ritual lately, with me tossing and turning. It's like trying to solve a puzzle that doesn't want to be solved?! 😴 The pressure at work is relentless; it's like a tidal wave of tasks that keeps crashing over me every single day... I try to keep up, I really do, but the stress is immense? And now, sleepless nights have become an unwanted companion in my life.

My days blend into each other: meeting after meeting, deadline after deadline. But it's not just the workload! The constant fear of falling behind and underperforming lingers over me like a thundercloud. Times where I should be resting are filled with anxieties about what awaits tomorrow at the office: an endless cycle that seems impossible to break free from!!!

Have you ever tried counting sheep? Doesn't work for me. In fact, it makes things worse sometimes because it gives my mind more time to wander off into all the wrong places; thinking about what could go wrong next day... 🙃 Instead of finding relief and refuge in sleep, I'm left staring at the ceiling until dawn breaks.

There's hope though... I believe there always is!! I've started listening to some relaxation tapes before bed which help a bit. Plus talking it through with friends (bless them) who remind me that everyone faces rough patches; "This too shall pass", as they say... So chin up! I'll find a way out eventually even if it takes some new strategies or habits along the way.

If anyone out there shares this struggle then let's remember: Remain positive and resilient! Let's tackle one thing at a time 😉 Cultivating patience and taking little steps may lead us back to restful nights sooner than we anticipate.

Im going to be honest im jelly and j know i shouldnt be but idk how i feel its just my entire life is bouncing from friend group to friend group but then i fit in for bit and then fade away no one checks on me or anything kinda like im just a role i play then leave and no one ver chooses to know me i kinda wish i had someone that would have the same friendship like inside jokes or stuff like that and that is i never had a childhood started helping out with work at 8 never did any kid stuff like disney land or stuff never traveled or even done anything thats good for telling i feel like im just immitating people to fit in for a bit because my real self is just well nothing no real personality just what im worth which is money and sometimes i just feel thats all i really am is just money to be used and then just moving on to the next person’s like my entire life story is just money dad dying then money and to fit in i use that money to show im successful because thats the only thing i have thta makes intresting i guess its dumb i know but im just a boring guy nothing interesting and that just makes sad the ill just be bouncing drom group to group all the time

oh guys, here's the deal: my wife got this bipolar diagnosis and it's got my mind racing. are things gonna get worse as we age or what? feels like we're on a ride with no map... like she has good days and then these really rough patches, ya know? wondering if that's just gonna escalate over time or mellow out. don’t know how to prep for what comes next when life is so unpredictable and full of surprises! keeping it cool is hard when u don’t have a crystal ball!

sometimes I think about how we manage right now versus future us. older people always tell me, 'it gets easier with experience.' but does it really? does anyone realize that patterns change, symptoms shift? they say age could maybe calm things down or crank the volume up? seeing her tough moments makes me worry more...not wanting to live in fear but be ready without overthinking.

living with uncertainty ain't my favorite game. tried reading different stuff here and there but honestly, can't tell fiction from reality sometimes. everyone has an opinion (family included!), questioning if all those posts help or confuse...

there's pressure, real talk: so intense some days that you ask yourself if you're on the right track. talking to friends helps but no one’s truly in the mix like we are. developing resilience together feels possible yet demanding at every turn.

i keep hoping someone pops up saying, 'yep! going through it too and here’s what helped!' cause knowing others face similar puzzles would make coping wise...

Why do most of my friends never talk to me unless they need something from me or are involved in some drama? Whenever I try to talk to them, they just respond with things like “yes,” “mhm,” or some other short, lazy reply, or they simply ignore me. It genuinely frustrates me.

Maybe it’s because they only pretend to like me so I can be useful to them, or so I can be their fourth or fifth choice when nobody else is available to hang out. But maybe I’m just being selfish, paranoid, or maybe both.

It calls my name once again, the sting, the red streaks, the long lines that mark my skin...oh how I miss the pain, the ache, the burn as each cut goes deeper and deeper till I finally start to feel, even if it is only pain... atleast it's something.

The nastalgia floods my mind, reminds me of who I was and how each time I continued to fail.

Failed my friends, failed my family...failed myself.

Each cut a rewarding sting yet a punishment for being so weak...now not as common but still ring in the back of my head.

It calls to me, and I give in, over and over again...although I'm stronger, my heart still aches the same as it did back then, and so, my mind continues to remind me of my cherry red failures as the blade sinks in.

1,2,3...

man are any of you on buspirone? it's this pill that's supposed to help with the anxiety but like does it actually do anything? i started taking it last week cause my doc thought hey let's try this out since nothing else seems to work. but i'm not feeling anything different. kind of feels like i'm just popping candies here. anyone else? cause i've read that it's supposed to chill you out but all i'm getting is an empty wallet and a handful of useless meds.

like what the hell, right? ahhhh!!! sometimes i wonder if these docs even know what they're talking about or if they're just throwing pills at me and hoping something sticks to the wall. when i asked my doc about any real effects they gave me this vague "it takes time" crap. seriously?? how much longer should i be waiting???

so anyway, every day it's like pop another one and wait for some miracle that ain't gonna happen. talked to a couple friends who said give it another month or so.... screw that! i'm already three weeks in - where's my peace, man?

why can't shit just be simple?? they say this thing will calm your ass down but whenever i take it and sit in traffic my mind still races like a freaking formula 1 car!!!! it'll be nice if someone here has actually felt a difference after using buspirone... tired of stabbing around in the dark here!

sigh... maybe i'm just being harsh but if there's no change soon do you keep going? there's gotta be others out there frustrated with this stuff too. what're we paying for... placebos?! so fed up!!

it's like no matter what i do, it's just never enough for my parents. i'm a 19-year-old guy, and they treat me like i'm some sort of burden. lately, they've been talking about divorce, and guess who they blame? yep, me 😑 as if i have that kind of control over their marriage; i've tried to be supportive and understanding, but it seems like they're set on pointing fingers at me... they say everything's my fault because i'm not perfect or whatever. idk how they can actually believe that?

i thought growing up would mean more freedom and less drama. nope! instead, it's constant arguments over trivial stuff. maybe it's the pressure they're under that's making them lash out? still feels like an unfair burden to shoulder. they should talk about their issues without dragging me into it.

sure, i haven't always been the easiest person to live with (who hasn't had a teenage phase) but come on! this blame game gets real old when all i'm trying to do is make things work at home. there's only so much someone can take before snapping.

so yeah, here i am wondering: is there ever gonna be a time when they'll see past my mistakes and realize that their problems might not revolve around me? or am i doomed to be the perpetual scapegoat?

Okay so basically, I live in the same estate as this girl who goes to my school and she's 1 year older than me, lets call her Y. we only became friends recently and we've also started carpooling to school. I also have this other friend, E who also lives in the estate, Y, E, and me are a trio. there's also 3 other people in our friend group, but they dont go outside as much so it's mostly just my trio.

Theres this thing in our estate that is kind of a shelter for the rain, and somehow E figured out how to climb up on it. eventually, everyone except me knew how to climb up on it. this thing was pretty tall, and im super scared of heights, so I never went up on it. I would always feel super left out when they climbed up on it, and they would never acknowledge me when they were up together.

sometime I got the guts to climb up onto it and I succeeded, only thing was I didnt know how to get down, but I figured that out too after a bit of help. unfortunately, I started forgetting how to climb down, so I never went up on it again after they had to get my dad to get me down.

one day, it's a hot summer day on a Sunday and were all hanging out, then they all go up onto the thing and tell me that if I can tag them, they'll give me €40, I obviously didn't like this game very much since it made me feel like they were making fun of me for not being able to get up. so then I felt that I was going to cry, so I went over to E's bike and started going around the estate on it so they wouldn't see me. (E gave me permission to use it btw) after I got back they started whispering, saying that I look kind of sad, and I hate looking sad infront of my friends bc it makes me feel pathetic, so I told them that I was fine. at that point I was on the verge of tears, so I went another lap on the bike. once I got back, I had finally calmed down and I saw that E and Y had gotten off of the thing, and when was about to go over to them, they ran away from me. so then everything came back all at once so I did another lap around the estate and went to the estate playground and left my friends bike there, bc I saw my friends. so then I went into another estate, and they followed me. I ran away from them bc I knew I would cry if I went up to them. soon enough, they went back to the estate. after a few mins of hiding I did the same, and I saw them going into the other estate (to search for me i guess) they didn't see me though.

Then i saw E's mom walking over to me asking where E went, and I pointed to the other estate. When E and Y came back with E's mom they went straight back to their houses.

when i went home I texted Y on discord and I told her that i was sorry for overreacting. I didn't expect much from her, but I expected a little sorry. she said "ya we got into trouble cuz we were worried abt you". we did make up the next day, but i thought of that message for so long.

fast forward to Tuesday, we're playing a game on the fake grass, where we have to take off everyone's socks. Y and E hit my boob while taking off my socks. I felt myself start crying, but then I realised how pathetic I looked, so I replaced the pain with anger and hit Y in the boob. while I was trying to hit Emma in the boob she fell on her back, that was when I should've stopped, but I didn't. I hit her in the boob. she was crying, and she went back inside, I didn't get a chance to say sorry to her.

I wish that I would've done something different in that situation, I wish that I would've just finally opened up for once. the next day was my last day until I was going on holidays. Y said sorry to me at school, and I asked her if she could say sorry to E for me since they had tennis together, she told me to do it myself, I couldn't bring myself to knock on her door, not after what I did. Now I'm gone on holidays for the next 2 months, and I won't be able to talk to Y at school, bc she has transition year. the only text that Y has sent me was "hope you have a fun time in hungary!" and that was 6 days ago. I don't know what to text her. shes also gone on holidays so she can't tell E that im sorry.

I just feel like such a coward and a bad friend.

(pls tell me what to text Y in the comments)

Well, where do I start first off all my uncle had sexual assaulted me when I was either 4 or 3 I don’t know how I remembered it but yeah it feels almost like a dream but I am very sure it definitely wasn’t because it was too realistic. Well it had gone on for a month until he got married(🤢) thankfully I haven’t seen him in like 3 or 4 years, now my whole life has been reflected on that which sucked when I found out what SA and r#pe was. And yeah now I struggle in studies and my mom read my diary in which I wrote down what had happened (that sucked too), and she told me not tell anyone especially my relatives(🥀) she told my dad after I requested not too.that’s all thanks

I feel terrible because I'm not spending my day with her. It's a holiday, and we're not going out for drinks or anything. This whole "each of us doing our own thing" thing bothers me, and I don't want it to be this way. I want to be with her, I want to experience things together, kiss her, have sex with her, go out, and do other romantic things. She's a very special girl to me, the one who has won my heart. I met her at the office, but I'm not willing to let things end there; I'm not willing to let her go. She's the one I want to marry. I hadn't planned it at all, but I don't care. I want to build a life with her. Just one touch between us, a light kiss on the cheek, done completely naturally, told me everything, absolutely everything: that she's the one, that she's my soulmate.

I can't imagine a life without her. Personally, I don't care at all what people at the office think. I don't care about our differences, not at all. I don't even care that she has terrible social skills, that she's the most annoying person in the office. I feel like we share something special; we've been through a lot together, and that can't end there. I'm fed up with her seriousness, with that thing that makes her always stand on the sidelines. I know she came to the office with a certain idea, just work, but the answer is no. Our feelings speak of something else entirely. This isn't just work; in fact, there's nothing that connects us, so there's no excuse to say this is just an illusion. What we've experienced is definitely the story of two strangers, no shortcuts, who were drawn to each other, and she certainly didn't want to let it go, and she never did. In fact, no matter what, even if she denies it, even if she hasn't said anything, without a doubt, we're dating, definitely. Nothing has been said, but that's what I feel.

We're dating because our moments together are unique, private, understood only by us, and they fill us in our own way, setting us apart from all the other relationships around us. She's the love of my life, the only one who has truly won me over, the only one with whom I haven't felt the weight of being alone. We're in this together, we've risked everything, facing life's unpredictability. I feel like we don't even need to do anything, just wait for things to happen, like we always have. It's no secret at the office what we have, that I fought against my coworkers' insistence on maintaining a united front, which, to begin with, wasn't really there. I fought for her for something real, something established, something well-built. She protects us, literally, with her life, as if there were no tomorrow, and with everyone else, she keeps them at a distance, at bay, never talking about life's misfortunes. Not with me, though; it's all just pure sweetness. Indeed, to be with her, like me, you have to earn it, you have to face challenges, fears, the fact that she's no longer just meeting expectations, but revealing her feelings.

I think I can say, with all due respect, that I'm crazy about her, that I can't live without her, and I hope this isn't seen as obsession. I mean, I want to say it, I'm fed up with this censorship of language that translates into a normality no one believes in, that instead threatens outbursts of violence. I don't care if they understand it at the office or not, I love her and she's my girlfriend, that's how I see her. In part, I have to admit that I'm extremely happy with how things have turned out with her; I've never felt so special, so cherished, so loved, so valued in my entire life. It's as if we were husband and wife. I really needed to say all of the above to somehow unblock myself regarding those thoughts and settle into the present, under what little agreement there is, which is essentially nothing. I feel that I would never, ever make an agreement with her, and that working with her is dangerous, personally, because you can't have any conflicts with her, otherwise strange things will start happening.

With her, having something like that based on agreements is a recipe for instability. That favoritism, that manipulation, those standards—it's a beautiful thing I'd rather never deal with. I prefer my relationship with her to be discreet, comfortable, intimate, and where I'm allowed to make mistakes, not confined by any standards. I mean, I don't feel pressured by her in any way. In fact, I'm grateful that she has me blocked everywhere right now, because there's no way to make any assumptions about what she expects regarding the treatment, which in fact, after a certain standard treatment from her, she does have certain expectations and it's not crazy to say that she thinks about things that one doesn't.

I can't deny it, to me that girl seems like a danger par excellence. I don't like her at all, and that's why I've preferred a daily relationship, where there's a real, divine, delightful connection, where we feel each other and act with absolute respect, not in a routine intrusion, not in a situation where we're caught between a rock and a hard place, as they do with others. She never tried that with me, and that's precisely why I decided to make this happen, because, in fact, I was tremendously grateful for her respectful, inclusive, and welcoming treatment when I arrived at the office. That definitely couldn't stay that way, and that's why I fought to get to the point I've described. She, I can say from my own perspective, deserved it, and in fact, I'm willing to go as far as she wants. Not just anyone would treat me that way, and in fact, she broke through that mold of distance that others had with me. It was definitely worth it.

The others didn't understand; instead, they chose to take action to distance her from me, considering it an act of manipulation or something like that. It was a game with her feelings, and that's why I stood up to them, to the point that now at the office I feel completely with her, not with any other group, simply setting aside the prejudices that bureaucracy imposes on us. We've overcome many difficulties, and even though the diagnosis was that we would be fired, we categorically refused and are doing everything we can to maintain that stance. The environment doesn't dictate our relationships; we do. The environment doesn't tell us how to be; we do. The days of abandoning our feelings for others to move on with life, thus abandoning them, are over. It happened to us once, not twice. I feel proud to be by his side, to feel that I'm with someone who truly stands up for himself, fully defending his environment, on his own terms, from his own individuality. I foresee a prosperous future between us, because I feel a bond between us, before the world, and therefore one that can endure. A place to rest.

sorry if this would be boring or unwitty to read or post, but i just need to vent out frustrations built over time like an architectural ancient wall. Anyways.. so here is it. My kins are far from the type of being a emotionally regulated and healthily supportive thing. Yeah, support may be felt and seen but its obligatory and not something that's rooted from actual empathy or sensitivity or whatever the positivity term. Toxicity overpowers it by having these heavily implied and deeply rooted sense of expectations that just because youve raised a separate human being in the modern times from your own means they must be characteristically and ideally better because the living situations they're in is far better than what they''ve been through. That survival skills automatically equates with the extent of "modernity and advancement of the world"" and that you suffer LESS. Is it obvious if i'm gonna say nobody actually knows me in my family. All they know is what i try to imitate, and what they want to see. Because they hated seeing imperfections. Which, in an atomical sense, makes up 80% of me as a person. Even if i want to explain things they wouldn't get to my shoes and just start being a "role model", saying you must do this and that. But actually.... it is very hard. I didnt even signed up for this life lol. I tried but everytime i do i just feel more and more close to the fact that i am far from being an actual perfect person. YEs, i understand nobody is perfect. Yes i understand everybody makes mistakes. But, i dont understand why actual misundersttood people, if they ever gets exposed, gets extremely unsupported and treated like trash generally... those advocacies never work to change people's perspectives. Because people dont literally experience the shoes of another person's life in reality. There are a lot of things i want to explain but i cannot type all of it into a coherent and readable paragrpah. I judt feel like i was born to experience humiliation, shame, grief, repeatedly. Also, i do wanna get therapy so much but it costs a lot and im a frikin college burden still. I want to work but how can i even take the step if the road always has sinkholes i cannot avoid and nobody dares go to? i'm in a pit where i can only tell i'm fine. but who really caresif i'm not. Everyone else just cares about results... I can't make it.. i'm struggling. I want help. I need help. I can only hug myself in darkness. I can only see myself d34d. I do not want anymore negativity to cling to me but even when i'm in light its too dim to tell where i am. Where do i even see myself six months from now? I may have survived a lot of things but at what cost? More humiliation? MOre trials for me to fail? I hope not. I need change...I need ... I need to actually feel a sense of hope down to my bones... I feel so disgusted at myself.

been thinking lately, how can one find solace in being alone? it seems like everywhere i look people emphasize the importance of having friends, but what if you don't have those connections readily available? i reckon it's not the end of the world, and maybe there's a way to be truly content without needing others around constantly. i'm not saying isolation is bliss, no way, but is there a method to enjoy your own company so thoroughly that the lack of companionship doesn't sting as much?

so i've been trying a few things myself, like diving into hobbies that bring genuine joy. perhaps it's about creating an environment where i'm comfortable enough with myself that loneliness turns into solitude... there's a subtle difference there i believe. it is quite fascinating how watching your favorite movie or reading an intriguing book can provide just as much satisfaction as any social interaction.

i suppose it's also about maintaining a positive mindset. sure, social media makes everything seem grander than it actually is, ultimately leaving us feeling left out. but maybe if we shift focus inward and cherish self-growth or personal achievements no matter how small they might appear, we could redefine happiness and feel complete even when alone.

everything i do is wrong! when i say everything... i mean EVERYTHING!!! i've been married to my wife for five years now. at first, everything was smooth sailing. but these past two years? it's like i'm living in a different universe. whatever i say or do seems to be the incorrect choice in her eyes; nothing pleases her! there's an ongoing feeling of inadequacy encroaching my every move!! it's exhausting trying to keep up with her expectations when they're ever-changing and just downright impossible! like yesterday, i did the laundry (as usual) and she said I mixed colors with whites... again! i'm not saying i'm blameless, but can't we communicate instead of this constant barrage of what's wrong?? relationships should have a balance (a harmony where both individuals feel appreciated and understood) but lately, it feels skewed beyond repair. 💔 admittedly, the whole situation has driven me to question myself more than once: am i the problem or is it something deeper within our dynamic? either way, i'll keep trying because she's worth it even if she doesn't see that in me right now;