Life Stories and Everyday Drama

so, here's the thing: i'm 31, living what many might consider an enviable life. i have a pretty sweet gig as a project manager at a reputable firm, the kind of job that keeps me moving, challenges my brain, and supports a lifestyle that others might dream of. but here's the kicker – despite all the successes that are supposed to fill my heart with contentment and joy, i can't help but feel like life has lost its sparkle. you know how people toss around "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"? well, it turns out being the work-focused jack (or jill, in my case) isn't particularly fulfilling when you're coming home to an empty apartment every night. 😕

am i doing something wrong here? i mean, i spent my twenties hustling to build this career, thinking i'd eventually slide into the whole husband and kids scene like it was a given. except... i just haven't found that particular groove. how do people have it all? a fulfilling job, a loving partner who gets them, sunny mornings filled with laughter and weekend adventures with friends who feel like family. some evenings i curl up with a cup of tea, staring out the window at the bustling city below, feeling like i'm watching life happen rather than actually living it. is this some phase i'll grow out of, or is there something i'm fundamentally missing?

maybe i'm being overly dramatic here, but i've seen those aspirational quotes floating around the internet, like "life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain." these thoughts swirl in my head while i ponder whether i'm just a part of the human race's rat race, unable to break free from the seemingly endless cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat. i'm wrestling with the concept of how all these accomplishments seem purposeless without personal connections that truly matter. and then there's the matter of friendships—or the lack thereof. ever noticed how adult friendships are this fragile dance of juggling schedules and priorities? makes me wonder how others cement those lifelong bonds without sacrificing their aspirations.

i remind myself there's always a sliver of hope, though. i mean, life's got to be more than this, right? maybe it's time to invest some energy into meeting new people, forging authentic connections, and reminding myself that embracing change is part of the journey. perhaps the lesson here is about resilience, about finding that balance between professional success and personal satisfaction. i'm not giving up. far from it. is there a magical formula to balance career and personal life? perhaps i need to remind myself, as c.s. lewis said, "you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." and who knows? maybe the best is yet to come. here's hoping for a future filled with more than just my career – one that radiates with warmth and genuine human connection.

I don’t know why this bothers me so much but it does. I’ll send her a message at 10:14, something simple like “hey love, how’s your day going? 😊” and I see the two little blue checks almost instantly. She’s online. She read it. And then… nothing. It just sits there. My words floating in space like I’m talking to a wall. Sometimes I scroll back and I see entire blocks of green messages from me, just me, like a full on monologue. “Did you call the plumber?” “Should we book the hotel?” “I was thinking about that thing you said yesterday…” Blue ticks. Silence. It makes me feel kinda stupid, not gonna lie. Like I’m the guy who keeps talking at a party while everyone else walked away 5 minutes ago. And I KNOW she’s busy. She works hard. She gets distracted. But why read it if you’re not going to answer? Why not wait until you can reply? Is it just me or does that feel worse somehow? 😅 I even start overthinking it. Did I say something wrong? Was my tone weird? Is she mad and not telling me? Last week I sent her this long message about how proud I was of her for handling that stressful situation at work, like really heartfelt stuff, and she saw it… and didn’t reply until 5 hours later with “thanks.” Just that. “Thanks.” I stared at that word like it was a riddle. Am I being dramatic? Probably. But when it keeps happening you start to feel invisible. I’ll send her updates about my day too, like “client meeting went well” or “I fixed that leak under the sink finally 💪” and it’s like I’m narrating my life to an audience that doesn’t clap. And yeah, sometimes she answers later, and when she does it’s normal, sweet even. But those gaps, those empty spaces, they mess with my head more than I’d like to admit.

The thing is, I love her. Deeply. She’s not cold, she’s not mean, she’s just… not glued to her phone the way I am. I grew up in this always-online culture where a read receipt feels like a promise of a reply, you know? Like if you open the door, at least say hi. She’s more old-school. She’ll call instead. She’ll talk for an hour and laugh and tell me about everything I texted her about like she stored it somewhere in her brain. And I realize she DID read it. She DID care. She just didn’t type back. Maybe I attach too much meaning to those little blue ticks. Maybe it’s my insecurity speaking. I remember one night I sent her a message saying I was feeling overwhelmed, just mentally drained. She saw it and didn’t reply for a while. I sat there thinking the worst. But when she got home she hugged me so tight and said she wanted to talk about it in person because it mattered. That hit me hard. Maybe silence doesn’t always mean indifference. Maybe sometimes it means “I’ll respond properly later.” I’m trying to change how I see it. Instead of thinking “she doesn’t care,” I’m trying to think “she’s living her life.” And honestly, I don’t want to be the guy who needs constant validation through text bubbles. I want to be secure. I want to trust the bigger picture of our marriage, not panic over one unanswered message. Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re arguing with your own thoughts over something so small but it feels huge in the moment? I’ve started sending fewer rapid-fire messages and instead waiting to talk in the evening. It’s helped. And when she DOES reply quickly, which she sometimes does, it feels like a nice surprise instead of an expectation. I’m not perfect, I still sometimes stare at my phone and think “just type something…” 😅 but I’m learning. Maybe communication isn’t just about speed, maybe it’s about consistency and love over time. And when I look at our life, the way she shows up for me in real ways, not just digital ones, I realize I’m lucky. So yeah, it still stings sometimes when someone sees your message but doesn’t reply… but maybe it’s not the end of the world. Maybe it’s just two different styles trying to meet in the middle. And I’m hopeful we’ll keep figuring it out together ❤️

Friendship problems don’t always come from fights.

Sometimes they come from success.

Or insecurity.

Or unspoken competition.

You notice it in subtle comparisons. In jokes that sting a little. In the way celebration feels slightly uncomfortable.

I used to ignore those signals. Now I don’t. Patterns matter. Whether it’s in people or in logic puzzles, repetition tells you something.

If a friendship constantly leaves you second-guessing yourself, that’s a pattern too. And you don’t have to keep solving the same grid if it keeps erasing you.

Anyway, this whole thought spiral just reminded me I still have two unfinished Sudoku Noir puzzles from Copper Clues waiting on my desk. Might as well complete something that actually wants to be solved.

So over the last couple of months me and an ex friend have had a falling out, we were friends for a couple of years in work and we fell out over something very silly and small and not worth falling out over but my ex friend made it in to the biggest thing and since then she has made my life miserable in work. Yesterday I tried to hold out a lifeline and make up to her because yesterday was the last straw and I decided to tell her that the way she talked to me wasn't on. Well she has blamed me over the friendship breaking down, that she has covered for me over things that I don't even know that I have done wrong, that I have argued with her even though she has argued back and the thing I 'argued' over was something that I wasn't going to agree with her anyway cause I like to keep my routine as it is. And other things that she has put it on me. Don't get me wrong I know I am not perfect and I do things that annoy others but to me they aren't things to fall out over. And she has done a lot of things as well so it's definitely not all one way. But basically she doesn't want to be my friend anymore and today she literally couldn't be in the same area as me not matter the same room.

My survival instincts are good! This "anxiety" is really just me keeping safe. I don't get why others don't act like this. When so many things go wrong or you see so many movies that are "relatable" go wrong, "best case" becomes "best lie". It's what my thoughts tell me. My period cramps now feel worse and I feel more rapid heart-beating, but really, it's not a panic attack, it's just deep focus. No adult would be that nice, especially in events like MEFCC where you expect older people. No way they'd be so nice. They'd all probably politely tell me no for a photo but do it with someone else. It's possible. school, the exams, the marks, the resume, my ranking, my future, my potential husband, my future career, my lack of skills, my dumbness, my ugliness, my friendlessness, the million things that could go super wrong with evidence to support it!? Are they not real?! I'm not capable, I'm stupid. Then one day, I'll wear a bikini showing my belly hair even though I wax my arms and legs every 4 months (my hair grows back kinda slow after waxing) even though I don't feel safe wearing them but I did it anyways because other girls did it in some random pool party I get invited to by the cool girls until they take photos of me and post it on their Instagram group because they secretly despise me. The girls in my class may "accidentally" ignore me and act all nice and sweet and acknowledging, I don't trust people, they can be hiding stuff. I know this from watching "Eighth Grade", that movie was...something. Even though I was 6 in 2018, it doesn't matter. Apparently the 13 experience is real! Every kid thinks like me, they all plan and think about potential life issues. I may get cancer somehow even though nobody in the family struggled, maybe some ancestral gene kicked in to do that. Many people say that movie was relatable, and while I can't remember most of it, it's bound to happen! My parents will be like the ones in movies confused with technology or my hyper-fixations, even though unlike the tropes they know computer and tech well because they're engineers (I never understood that trope growing up) and mom works in a media company and when dad's in the mood, he'll talk about a cool non-fiction book he read about war or murder cases or philosophy or memoirs. "Awkward" becomes "awful" when you know deep down your worth in the grand scheme of things is 0. I only matter to my family because of mammalian instinct, not love. I was wrong about stuff like whales, they don't love, they just raise them. If I score low, if I look so ugly in MEFCC no grown cosplayer would wanna take a photo with me even with permission, where no matter after the next 7 years I'm still alone, I work as an accountant or back-breaking fry cook instead of even a marine biologist because that's actually still a cool job that's more practical, I'll just be a golly joke in the grand scheme of life.

Sometimes people hate people for no reason. My parents are probably doing this because they're like every other parent of nerds, give up and only tolerate it because their kid doesn't listen when they hear "Anime is bad!" or "Read real books!" or "Japanese are weird!" Dad may say a few things like, "Japanese work culture sucks" or "Why don't you read more non-fiction books?" but he doesn't force it, he should. "Kindness" is when someone says yes to make you happy, not because they enjoy it. Dad may have opted out from watching JoJo, but mom continues, claims her favorite of Part 1 is Speedwagon, and she still chooses to watch with me. How weird is that!? Also, since the world is so mean and hostile, I've heard of transgressive art. Since I draw, how about I skip trying to be cool like Araki and do the shocking, disturbing and gory or s-xual stuff to show my anger, like how other people vent. I may regret it in the long run since it isn't me, but apparently according to many movies I watched which are coming-of-age, what is "you" at 13? So, maybe "you" can be super angry, open about your violent ideas and opinions, draw nasty stuff, and I don't know, what do artists who vent draw? I end up drawing my favorite characters or my own characters or crafting, but I don't know, to be truly soothed, should you draw the "art of transgression"? I've seen artists draw p-do art or intense gore or nudity or characters uh...doing IT, and again, I'll regret it very badly because it's in my art book, MY BOOK, but to be fair, many other kids do it, many ADULTS do it and they get sold for millions or talked about, isn't transgressive art true venting?

What even is self-betrayal at 13, when you don't know who you are? What if I'm doing this because my family or the law says no, what if the edgy artists do this because they realized they have free will? What if "I'm uncomfortable with this" is really just "I'm scared of what others think?" Many people draw shocking stuff to show the world how much they hate something, themselves, the President, the global warming, genocide, r-pe, whatever. That's why looking at "negative" stuff like wars, water shortage, death, genocide, r-pe, murder, corruption, is really just waking up, even if you feel like when you live next year, you're just lucky to be alive, and you find it harder everyday to believe you're alive. Who knows? Maybe the donations on McDonald's app or Noon delivery is fake, maybe Red Crescent Society is secretly corrupt and steals money under the guise of "charity"! Maybe the 1-5AED donation is not enough! Who knows! I can't just draw fanart or my characters forever, it contributes nothing! I contribute nothing. What does Joseph Joestar contribute, he's dumb, he's fictional and he's dumb! What does drawing Speedwagon, Joseph, Jotaro, my characters, what do they do to help the dying kids in Gaza? I bet those kids if they saw me, they'd think I'm an insult because I'm out here drawing while they're out here drowning! I'm not depressed or anxious, I'm aware! Those Gaza kids will want ME dead! I DESERVE TO DIE. MY LIFE IS WORTHLESS. I'M FUCKING WORTHLESS. I NEED TO FUCK MYSELF FIRST BY HAVING SEX WITH A CHILD MOLESTER FOR GOOD MEASURE BECAUSE MY PUSSY IS WORTHLESS, TOO! I CAN'T CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING SLUTTY CUNT

As a non-drinker, I find myself continually baffled by the allure that alcohol holds for so many individuals, especially when I observe the impact it has had on my wife. It's bewildering to witness her unwavering fondness for this intoxicating liquid that seemingly grips her consciousness and distorts her perception of reality. It's like watching someone willingly choose to engage in something those unaware of see little logic in. Isn't it strange how some people ardently pursue a substance that, upon closer inspection, often results in more harm than good? My wife partakes in alcohol with a fervent passion that borders on obsession; her consumption levels are, without a shadow of a doubt, excessive. The societal norm of relaxing at the end of a tiresome day with a drink in hand doesn't seem to just relax her but rather amplifies her reliance on this habit, creating a vicious cycle that's worrisome for someone who would prefer to be a bystander. Could it possibly be the taste itself that intrigues people, or is it the transient escape from reality that alcohol promises with its consumption? These are questions I've pondered.

Reflecting on countless discussions, or perhaps one-sided pleadings, it seems clear that alcohol holds a multifaceted appeal—one that stimulates the senses while concurrently clouding judgment. My wife insists that her affinity for alcohol is merely a "social lubricant," a phrase often repeated yet confounding in its implication that engaging normally in social undertakings requires chemical aid. Why the constant need to tread the fine line between composure and chaos? It's astonishing to witness its glorification, how individuals believe in its magical ability to conjure merriment and engagement in conviviality. While society lauds drinking culture, shrouded in artful advertisements painting rosy pictures of leisure, the reality is often starkly different, especially when you live with someone who indiscriminately embraces it. As a mere observer, I've seen academic studies and reports cite the dangerous repercussions alcohol can have—not just physically but also psychologically. Despite having access to such empirical evidence, even my earnest attempts to share these findings often culminate in a dismissive chuckle or an affirmation that it’s merely "blowing off steam." But then again, would someone really change a habit based on another's detached understanding? It's clear that more substantive engagement is often required to precipitate true change. Is it ultimately the camaraderie and shared experiences attributed to drinking that bind people so tightly to this substance, or is there something deeper ingrained in human fabric that draws them to it?

Of course it being my 2nd year old highschool I’m aware of everyone’s clothes. Now idk if this is gonna hit the target audience but I need help with shoes and clothes. I have a good style, sandwich method everyday lol.. but anyways any sites that are good or stores. For shoes I’m stuck, I need shoes that match everything, but I want a cycle of shoes yk? To help, my style is between streetwear, the baggy clothes, 2000s, and Stockholm. A lot. Yeah. But I shop SHEIN, Charlotte Russe and more. A while ago I came across zumiez, it’s cool got some jeans from there. I wish I can add images here for a good example but yeah. I need help 🥲🫩..

Yo! So, I'm 22 and my friend hits me up with this whole "30 day self care challenge" thing. She's like, "Girl, you gotta try this! It's life-changing!" 🙄 And I'm just sitting here thinking, really? Is it all that?? Has anyone else dared to try this? I'm genuinely curious, peeps! Like, do these challenges even work, or is it just another overhyped trend? I mean, sure, taking care of yourself is important, but is doing it for 30 days straight gonna magically change everything? 🤔 Anyone care to share their experiences? Did it help in making life less of a mess? Any tips or hacks from those who've survived it, please??? 😅

You know, I'm kinda hoping this isn’t just an Instagram-worthy illusion. If you’ve done it, what was the best part? Is it more than just bubble baths and face masks? Don't get me wrong, those are awesome, but surely there's more to self-care? 🤷‍♀️ Help a girl out!!! Would love some lowdown on stuff that doesn't just pad calendars but actually works! Like, what do you do when the motivation is in the gutter? Any specific "must try" days? Spill the tea, fam!!! ✨ Looking for those nuggets of hope and positivity. Because, hey, life's too short to play a guessing game with self-care. Am I just overthinking it, or is there something more profound here? Hit me up with all the good stuff – quotes, routines, wisdom – whatever!! Who else is ready to slay and take some quality 'me time' seriously? Let’s make our lives better together, yeah?? 💪❤️

discovering my husband's infidelity has left me in an emotional quagmire. i'm a 51-year-old woman who thought she'd seen it all. yet here i am, blindsided by betrayal. it's like being shocked awake from a pleasant dream into a cold and harsh reality. my heart feels like it's been shattered into a million little pieces, and all logic dictates that tears should be streaming down my face. but nothing happens. why can't i cry when i want to??? i wonder, silently questioning my emotional resilience—or lack thereof. isn't it human to express sorrow this way?

i know that confronting him would be tempestuous and I plan to ask for a divorce. but this sense of numbness is troubling me deeply. does the body go on some kind of emotional strike when it senses too much despair, i wonder??? i don't know whether my mental faculties have succumbed to denial, or if i've simply exhausted my pool of tears over the years. you ever been so overwhelmed that it leaves you emotionally disabled???, because that's exactly my predicament. it's perplexing, yet i'm strangely calm—emotionally marooned, you could say. like, is this self-preservation or am i just disconnected from reality???

i think as years go by, resilience builds like a fortress around one's heart. but what happens when you wish it wouldn't??? paradoxically, this emotional detachment offers a semblance of peace. it's a buffer from the soul-crushing reality of deceit and broken vows. each day, i mechanically go through the motions—answer emails, make dinner, and converse with acquaintances. all the while, this unfelt sorrow hangs over me like a dense fog. somewhere inside, a quiet desperation lurks, wishing to feel an emotional release. isn't it ironic??? maybe i’m subconsciously reprogrammed to withstand intense heartache.

anyways, maybe you think crying would ease the burden. seems logical right??? shedding tears offers solace and, for many, it's a healing way to combat relationship trauma. it's also a pathway to finally be free to walk away from this mess. yet, here i am, staring blankly at an unmoved reflection, asking the mirror why it refuses to break. aren't emotions meant to betray you, exposing your inner turmoil??? when words elude me, i am left pondering and questioning, in search of answers that this stoic heart of mine refuses to give. is it a form of self-punishment or a pitstop on the way to acceptance? only time will unravel the tangled web of emotions that fate has so cruelly woven for me. 🤷

Hey guys! So, here's the thing—I have a friend who's been dealing with some mental health stuff and I really want to understand what they're going through better; you know?? Like, I don't want to be that clueless friend who's just nodding and pretending to get it when I don't really have a freaking clue... So, I thought maybe watching some movies or shows about mental health issues might give me a better perspective, but I'm not sure where to start??? I've been scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something that's not only accurate but also doesn't glamorize mental illness in a way that totally misses the point, you know??? It's tough finding content that doesn't make it all look like it's either totally depressing or somehow romanticizes things that are actually really serious and need to be approached with sensitivity... I heard there are some movies and series that tackle these themes really well—something that's relatable and real but doesn't go overboard with the dramatics!!! Any recommendations??? Have you guys watched anything recently that you think could help me see things from a perspective that's closer to what my friend might be experiencing??? I'm not looking for something that's a downer or super heavy all the time; just something that's respectful and insightful, if you catch my drift... Like, maybe something that balances the gritty reality while offering some hope or a meaningful resolution??? It'd be awesome to hear about anything that includes a variety of perspectives too, as I think getting a wider understanding is really essential in this kind of situation!!! Sometimes it's about finding those smaller stories within the bigger picture that really hit home—and who knows, maybe they'll help me find the right words to support my buddy!!! 🤔 So, if any of you know of shows or movies that fit the bill (and are on Netflix, 'cause that's the only streaming service I have right now), drop me a line, would you??? I'm really willing to put in the time and effort to learn; and yeah, I know watching a movie or two isn't gonna make me a mental health expert overnight, but it seems like a good first step, right??? Maybe there are docs, dramas, or even comedies that expose different angles??? I'm open to anything that's honest, even if the truth it shows isn't always easy to digest!!! At the end of the day, it's about being there for my friend and making sure I'm not just token-supporting them with one-dimensional understanding, if you know what I mean... Anyway, thank you in advance for any suggestions or tips you might have—I really appreciate it!!! I'm all ears and ready to binge-watch for a cause that truly matters to me; let's dive into this together, shall we???

well, here i am, 39 years old, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering why the heck i just can't seem to muster the energy to get out of bed. the relentless demands of family life have started to weigh me down, and the worst part is, it feels like no one notices. my three children, as much as i love them to pieces, are like tiny CEOs of their own chaotic corporations. breakfast, school drop-offs, extracurricular activities, homework, the list is endless. and my husband? 🤨 let's just say he's not exactly earning the father-of-the-year trophy. he's more of a silent partner in this venture, contributing minimally while i manage the lion’s share.

every day is a revolving door of tasks dictated by invisible time cards that pull me in every direction but towards what i need—rest. i’ve become the go-to project manager of our household, handling everything from grocery shopping and cooking, to emergency conflict resolution between a seven-year-old and a ten-year-old over whose turn it is to sit in the prized front seat. even our toddler has demands that rival a ceo’s morning agenda. however, as the perpetual first responder, my wake-up call is earlier than a rooster's crow; pre-dawn prep, lunches to pack, and laundry that's folded to military precision.

the reality is, i’m exhausted but i can't complain; it feels like my pleas fall on deaf ears. do you ever feel like your voice is a whisper in a room of shouting voices? family dynamics are complicated puzzles, aren’t they? society tells us that juggling motherhood, marriage, and a personal career is doable if we just try hard enough. but trust me, it's like trying to align misfit puzzle pieces. yet each morning, there remains the faint, stubborn hope that today will be the day my husband is better attuned or that the kids will navigate their own battles without conscription of 'mom' as their referee.

i find solace in quotes from Virginia Woolf, "Arrange whatever pieces come your way," even when those pieces have clearly lost their way. it brings me a level of optimism; there's hope in reflection and redirection, and perhaps that's where the solution lies. self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. maybe it's time to reorganize the department of 'me' and delegate some tasks or even demand a little assistance in this familial startup. am i seeking too much? maybe. or perhaps it all starts by simply getting out of bed—one foot at a time, one step closer to balance.

wtf am I doing here...

If I am being completely honest, the thought of attending therapy gives me a good dose of apprehension. My parents have decided that my problems at school and within our family dynamics warrant a professional third party, and I find myself wondering what that will be like... Can therapy truly provide the answers or guidance I need to navigate the tangled web of teenagerhood? What questions should I bring up to make the most of it? How open should I be? I mean, am I supposed to just spill my guts right there on the first day?

It seems strange to talk to a stranger about the ups and downs of everyday life, especially when emotions are sometimes hard to express even to myself. I hear therapy is supposed to help, but what if it does not? Could it actually complicate things further? Would asking specifically about developing better relationships with my family or friends make the difference? My familial relationships are particularly challenging lately. Will a therapist guide me on how to deal with the lingering resentment, or the often overwhelming expectations placed upon me? How do you even ask for advice on communicating effectively with parents who seem stuck in their old ways? And what about friends? Often, I feel isolated or misunderstood. Is it normal for a therapist to assist with improving social skills or understanding the intricacies of friendships? Could learning new coping strategies and communication techniques actually improve these interactions? Does formulating these specific questions lead to meaningful guidance from the therapist? Moreover, is it okay to question the therapist’s methods if they do not resonate with me? Is there a right or wrong way to approach therapy, or is it supposed to be a fluid conversation? It is the fear of the unknown, I suppose, mixed with an intrinsic skepticism that breeds these questions. What if I do not click with the therapist? Is it acceptable to ask for a different approach or a different therapist altogether? How does one even know if therapy is working? Craving validation seems natural, yet is it feasible to anticipate tangible progress? How can I ensure that I am not wasting this opportunity? I have heard that articulating one’s feelings and personal challenges while seeking suggestions can be beneficial. But how does one do that without feeling contrived or superficial? Would opening up about my fears and aspirations, however mundane they might appear, lead to transformative advice or realizations? Does anything truly significant emerge from these sessions that an honest conversation with a friend cannot provide? Can therapy offer a blueprint to life that I am currently missing? Somehow, I feel as though there is an assumption that teenagers inherently know how to adapt to life's changes. Yet, how realistic is this expectation?

At 17, grappling with the pressures of school, social life, and family, it often feels as though I am walking a tightrope. Do therapists possess insight into the teenage mind that parents lack? If so, how soon does one expect to notice improvements in understanding and management of these various pressures? Can I anticipate a newfound self-awareness or perhaps an enhancement in my emotional intelligence guiding me through tricky scenarios? Could asking about practical steps to handle stress and conflict inadvertently lead to improvement in my overall well-being? These questions linger in my mind as I consider the prospect of attending therapy sessions. How forthcoming is one expected to be when seeking answers or support? Am I alone in my apprehension, or do others my age share similar sentiments embarking on the therapeutic journey? It is this reflection that underscores my wonderment, with an unavoidable inclination to question the efficacy and the process, or rather, the possibility that it might just be what I need.

What’s the point of life… Like yea, you wake up, shower, eat, do whatever work or go to school, go home, sleep. It’s just a cycle and it’s getting pretty fucking tiring. All this just to die? I understand that there’s more to explore, but what ab the people who genuinely want nothing to do with it? Are we just supposed to stay until we lose our shi and take matters to our own hands? Likeee I don’t mean to sound suicidal and all but like what are we here for? I rlly don’t wanna be here… Evb ik is just so shitty and tiring and draining. I’ve been burnt out for a year or two and nobody even noticed.

Genuinely what do people mean when they say “if you have letters to write then you have reasons to stay” like girl fym? I’m writing to apologize and finally show my struggles that they managed to miss. Don’t tell me “Oh, then why don’t you tell them?” Because their reasonings are quite literally unhelpful and is in fact making my state worse. I don’t need them to share their own stories. I don’t need them to give me advice, use their experience as an example, I don’t need them to be all up on my side constantly after opening up. No, I won’t tell them this. They aren’t going to do any of that. So anw, ppl who say those genuinely confuse me bcs wdym I’m about to let go, leave them letters for why I’m LEAVING and NOT STAYING. Make it make sense ‘cause right now, it doesn’t to me.

Our career day is tomorrow. Evb already knows what they want. They have their future planned out, see themselves in their better version. I don’t know what I want. I feel so left behind. My passions doesn’t do well financially. They’ll only tell me the choose the better option. I don’t even see myself past where I am now. I only see one solution. To anyone who’ll ever read this, please don’t feel bad for me. I just need someone to hear what I’m going through ❤️‍🩹