Life Stories and Everyday Drama

So here I am, trying to figure out how to get over some serious trust issues with my partner 🤔. Ugh, this whole situation is such a mess! Like, snooping through someone's journal is a massive no-no, right?!!

Anyway, I found out last week that my partner went ahead and read through my personal stuff without even asking 😒. And now I'm left wondering... how can I ever trust them again? It feels like a betrayal that's hard to shake off. My thoughts are all over the place;

It's not just about one mistake! It's the principle of it: respect and trust. Both took a major hit with what happened 😞. How do you even begin to mend that kind of broken bond? Every time I'm around them, there's this huge invisible wall between us. I'm tired of pretending everything's fine!!!

I'm considering having an open conversation about boundaries and trust but honestly, will that be enough?? Words are easy... actions not so much! Maybe setting clear rules on privacy could help??? But can you really put rules on something that shouldn't need them in the first place? This doubt is eating me up inside!!!

I have always wanted to live in this city. It is vibrant, full of opportunities and seemingly everything I hoped for in a place to call home. Starting a new job here should be thrilling, right? However, ever since I began, an inexplicable sense of melancholy has taken hold of me; it's hard to explain why or where it comes from. Despite being surrounded by supportive colleagues and promising prospects, this feeling lingers like a persistent cloud looming over my life experience. How do people deal with such situations when everything should feel like it's falling into place?! Even the routine tasks that once brought joy now seem burdensome and insurmountable… the enthusiasm just isn't there anymore.

Amidst the clamor of coworkers' chatter and the ever-busy streets teeming with life, I find myself sinking deeper into this mire of emotions. What happens when you can't shake off emotions linked so closely to circumstances you thought you craved? Feeling guilty about not matching expectations adds salt to the wound. Is it psychological burnout already?!😔 Or maybe the initial excitement was just masking underlying issues? Why must our minds play such tricks on us? This contrast between what should be happiness and this dreariness is confusing and exhausting... My personal journey through these times makes me question if I'm even cut out for this industry or lifestyle.

So I've always been scared of failing my exams and I pretty much messed my today's exam and last exam too. I'm in 2nd sem of civil engineering and so I'm really so scared of it. I'm feel so demotivated and I don't know how to face my parents. Even though I know life doesnt end when you fail or messup exams and there are ups and downs in life, still I feel like I wanna give up on everything. It feels so scary and I feel so dumb. I feel like I'm the only dumb person and everybody is so smart, Like why am I the only one so stupid and always messing up exams, how do I get over this fear. Maybe I'm really insecure, I really don't wanna feel like this but I'm just so tired. Nothing goes ever right, Everything is so shit, I'm so tired of my family's expectations, I just wanna free from this shitty insecurity and fear. I guess I'm the only one who'll stay stupid and always mess things up.

yo so lately i've been sleepin like way too much after this breakup i went through. it's kinda gettin outta hand ya know? like every time i try to get up and do somethin productive, bam! i'm back under the covers snoozing away 😴 i keep tellin myself it ain't good but damn it's comfy in there... really though, my job's startin to slip cause of this nonsense and i'm worried bout how long i can keep bluffin my way. are breakups supposed to do this or am i just weird now?? responsibilities waitin on me but who knows if i'll ever feel fully awake anymore;;;; once-upon-a-time i used to be a go-getter, no lie! nowadays my bed's become my all time fav spot which shoulda been a red flag but here i am still tryna convince myself it's nothin serious when deep down i question if i'm slowly morphing into some sleep-obsessed hermit.... anyone else been through this madness?! plenty of coffee chuggers out there i'm sure but can you relate or is it time ta find a new hobby besides napping???

i swear it happened again! i'm sitting in this super important meeting. everyone's talking. suddenly i feel detached, like i'm floating or something. it's crazy how the world fades out, you know? can't focus on a damn thing and everything goes fuzzy, ugh!!! makes me nervous that my colleagues are gonna notice or think i'm slacking off; friggin hate this feeling.

just yesterday, i was trying to piece together what went down in our project review. my boss is staring with that 'are you even here' look. hell no i'm not there!!! everyone else just nodding along while my brain's elsewhere... so embarrassing!! tried to stay calm but end up missing key points.

then there's this one part where i just froze?? lost track mid-sentence, like poof...gone! it's like some magic trick that's more life-ruining than amusing. 😅 bet someone thought 'wow what an idiot', sorry but bpd really messes with your head!

gotta admit, scares me thinking job's at risk if they catch on. i mean, how do you own up to dissociating mid-task without sounding nuts? workdays shouldn't involve mental gymnastics!! tired of pretending things are fine when half the time i'm checked out. everyone talks coping skills as if they're easy fixes... wish it were that simple.

So here I am, stuck in this never-ending loop of self-sabotage, all thanks to my ridiculously high standards. Seriously, the expectations I put on myself are like trying to lift a boulder with a toothpick. I mean, who came up with this nonsense? When I don’t hit these impossible targets, it’s not just a “whoops, I missed” kind of vibe. No, I dive headfirst into a personal pity party, complete with emotional self-flagellation, as if I’m the main character in a tragic play about my own failure.

Sometimes I think back to all those motivational quotes thrown around at leadership seminars. You know, the ones that claim “Excellence is not an act but a habit.” Thanks, Aristotle, but that doesn’t make my life any easier. Society has this fun way of embedding the idea that perfection is the only path forward, and I’ve internalized that so well that it’s basically my mantra. So instead of cheering myself on when I make progress, I just whip out my mental whip and go to town on myself for not being perfect.

Every time I don’t hit a goal, there’s this annoying little voice saying that I can’t escape public humiliation while grappling with my own expectations. Take last spring, for instance. I gave a presentation at our big industry conference. Sounds impressive, right? Well, everyone was patting me on the back, but inside I was like, “This is mediocre at best.” Why? Because I didn’t follow the rigid plan I’d crafted weeks in advance, and that just made me feel like a failure.

Looking back, this whole self-destructive pattern kicked off way back in college. It started small, like when I bombed a mid-term and suddenly felt like my entire academic career was in flames. And it didn’t stop there. It infiltrated my work life, my social life, pretty much everything. It’s like a bad sitcom that just keeps getting more ridiculous every episode. No amount of intellectualizing this mess seems to stop the cycle of criticism I put myself through. It just keeps growing, like a weed that won’t die.

Maybe if I admit to all this craziness, I can finally do something about it. If I can learn to treat myself with a bit of kindness and cut the self-punishment, maybe I can unpack these weird beliefs that have taken root in my brain. It would be nice to finally replace that inner drill sergeant with someone who actually wants to see me succeed instead of constantly expecting perfection. But hey, baby steps, right?

I'm not really sure where to start, I'm exhausted thinking about it, trying to understand it all. The person love most (l've never loved some one to this level before we've had a rocky relationship/ friendship for 5 years. She'd beg to be with me or see me or get upset with me for not talking to her but every time she talks to someone l end up getting blocked for calling out her behaviors and such but recently we've had 10 and half months of good close very close contact.

Her blowing up my phone every day, begging to see me every weekend, needs to be near me. Well she acting weird a month ago and then she said she was spiraling and needed to focus on her self. I had a feeling that she was doing something like talking to someone again, on Friday she finally admitted it, she's now acting like never even mattered.

We got into an argument for about an hour then just joked around for another hour. I ended up kicking her off all my subscriptions and she in turn made her Spotify profile private and removed her self from one of our playlist(we have two.) I'm not sure what to do anymore, hate when she acts like this. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed, but all! want is her

I know the title is harsh but it’s the truth and pretty straightforward. She’s not always a bitch, which is why I can say I love her but sometimes when she’s stressed it’s like a unanimous vote collectively agreed I am the punching bag for her misfortune.

Seriously. I’ll just be checking on her and suddenly she’s rude, disrespectful and lowkey aggressive. For example, when I ask her question about something she’d normally tell me an answer or explain it for me. Simple right? Well when she’s stressed, she insults my intelligence and says it’s common sense.

I then say, why is it so hard to just tell me without feeling the need to put me down? She gets mad at me and tries to justify her rude behavior. The aggressive part is when she puts her hands on me. I don’t think it’s abuse but idk what would be abuse tbh

so if I say something that she considers disrespectful she’ll tell me to come here and when I do she grabs my arm and pull me towards her. My mom is heavy handed so that shit hurts and when I tell her to stop that hurts you’re bruising me and my skin is red (because I’m light skin so I get red a lot easier than my mom) she just says that I’m not and completely ignores me.

At that point I wanted to cry but then she’ll just call me sensitive, smack her lips and let me go. Then when I try to leave, she’ll say “oh now you wanna a leave cus you didn’t get what you wanted.” It’s so weird and bizarre because my mother does NOT act like that yet when she’s stressed she’s a different person.

I’m totally aware how sensitive and empathic I am. But that doesn’t give anyone the encouragement and leverage to treat me like that. Especially my own mother. I know I feel things a lot more than people but I use that to distinct how I perceive people and what they mean to me. And that? well that is shitty behavior that I hate experiencing.

I turned 18 last weekend but I can't say Im happy as I feel so low at the moment .

I feel overwhelmed and anger and upset 24/7 and college isn't helping.

No one seams to understand how frustrating it is to be enfold onto a course you've all ready done and unfortunately did not pass and to be re inrolld onto it bit not to be aloud to do any of the work so you are sitting in a classroom for an hour doing nothing learning nothing.

To be told you are going to be kicked out of you can not finds a mother course. but you should not be in the situation in the fist please as it's there own cult for in rolling you onto the same course again.

but they keep telling you if you don't finds a course you will be kicked out .

But since I started at that college I haven't felt like it was the right fit as I've always struggled with the work they gave me since day 1 and I am left in limbo untill they or I find I different course tht is a good fit for me .

but I don't know if I actually want to continue going to that college if I'm feeling like this.

I am already look into other college and possible jobs I can do.

As I have to take into account that I have Adhd a middle learning disability and knee issues.

both me and my mum as sent the college emails explaining how I have been feeling lately.

Any thought or tipps Wellcome.

I recently found myself moving back in with my parents, you know, just to save some cash before heading off to grad school. I'm 25 now, and for some reason, I thought that living at home would offer a cozy escape. Little did I realize, the dynamics at home hadn't shifted an inch since my teenage years! My parents? They're still stuck on imposing curfews like it's 2010 all over again. It's baffling how they manage to keep questioning every little decision I make: my choice of friends, what time I'll return home (seriously?), and even the music I listen to! I'd like to believe I'm an adult capable of making informed choices, but it's becoming increasingly difficult when I'm treated as if I'm back in high school. 🙄

The first few weeks were manageable; after all, it was nice having warm meals without any hassle and being surrounded by family. However, as days turned into weeks, their need to practically monitor my every move became suffocating. Just last week, I was out with some old pals and ended up extending our dinner plans only to find myself being barraged with texts from Mom asking where I was! At one point she even asked if I had forgotten their house rules... house rules?! I mean... come on now... I'm not trying to be rebellious here but isn't it acceptable for adults to have flexible schedules?

Despite an occasional sigh here and there when talking about this situation with friends (who are most certainly bewildered), I can't help but weigh the pros against cons constantly; surely these savings will pay off once grad school kicks in...but is peace of mind worth compromising over financial prudence? An internal conflict swirls on whether or not having a serious chat with them would prove fruitful or simply intensify matters further such as setting stricter boundaries instead of loosening them up... Who knows what may happen next?

growing up in a house where talking about sex was like bringing fire into the room, it's been rough trying to shake off that weird feeling of guilt. i mean, every time i try to express what i want in a relationship, boom - there's this nagging voice from my childhood telling me i'm doing something wrong. it's like they planted this seed of shame and it just won't stop growing.

now as an adult, it's frustrating dealing with these feelings when i'm supposed to be enjoying love and intimacy. like why can't i just get past it? when someone says "let's talk about what you want," my brain goes into overdrive picturing disapproving faces from the past. not being able to have those open conversations without sweating bullets is so exhausting. sometimes i feel like shouting at my younger self: "don't listen to them!" but hey, easier said than done, right? expressions like "keep your desires hidden" or "be modest" somehow managed to take root way too deep.

So it’s in the title. I suffer from social anxiety and yea suffer is the right word for sure.

In the comfort of my own home I’m fine, In fact, more than fine. However, every time I’m outside-even with family- I feel so much anxiety and I hate it. Every time I get anxious I immediately shut down. I refuse to talk to anyone and I isolate myself. Sometimes I cry but I’ve mastered holding in my tears, for the most part anyways.

I try to hide my face but I’m horrible at masking my anxiety. I tried asking for help and telling people just how anxious I get and they dismiss my feelings because they can’t fathom the idea of someone being anxious just by being outside with people. They make me feel like what I feel is inferior and just a “phase.”

So genuinely, can someone please share tips, advice to help me become more comfortable and less anxious in outside settings. I’m not saying I want to befriend people, I just want to be less anxious in general. I’m not planning to be some social butterfly, just comfortable.

so i decided, like many people, to start going to the gym this year; you know, new year, new me kind of thing. but man... it's a whole circus in there!!! seriously, i walk in, and i'm greeted by this gigantic maze of machines that look more like torture devices than fitness equipment!!! there are so many knobs and levers i feel like i'm trying to pilot a spaceship or something. i don't even know where to begin!

and then there's the crowd. oh boy. everyone else seems like they live at the gym! they're all fit and confident and lifting weights that are heavier than my entire body weight (i wish i was joking). meanwhile, here i am struggling to figure out how to adjust the seat on a leg press machine without looking like a complete idiot 🤦‍♂️. it doesn't help that i always feel like there's someone watching me thinking 'oh look, another newbie who doesn’t have a clue'.

i tried asking for help once... big mistake! some guy just pointed vaguely in the direction of what felt like a hundred different machines and said ‘that one’. thanks bro! you're super helpful!! not! honestly, it's stressful enough just being there without feeling judged every second by these seasoned pros.

now i'm starting to question if this whole thing is worth it??? maybe gyms aren't really for everyone... or maybe i just need more time...who knows? maybe i'll get used to it eventually or maybe i'll just end up paying for an unused gym membership. wouldn't be the first time that's happened! anyway, guess i'll keep trying for now...

I've been feeling this overwhelming sense of self-criticism lately. Every task I complete at work seems to come with this inner monologue pointing out what I could've done better. Even when I'm chatting with friends, there's a voice in the back of my mind picking apart every word I've said. It's exhausting! You'd think that achieving a goal or receiving praise would bring some relief, but instead it just amplifies this relentless disdain I have for myself. Recently, it's gotten worse, affecting my daily mood and behaviors in an undeniable way. No idea why it's happening or how to fix it 🙃.

These feelings are like having an internal performance review running nonstop, assessing every aspect of my life with a critical eye. It feels so detached and yet deeply personal at the same time. There's a sophisticated vocabulary swirling around in my head that analyses everything I do constantly 😓. The balance between being unbiased and harsh is lost on me right now because all I feel is negativity towards myself. It's like I'm stuck in this loop without any real understanding of where to start unraveling these thoughts.