Life Stories and Everyday Drama

So I’ve been catching this boy staring at me for like one year and half now , last year we noticed each other , I asked about him some of my friends and he was new at school , they talked good about him he didn’t seem the type of boy who was in any relationship before , I thought that he maybe he will do any move but he didn’t , summer break came then the new school year which is this year , he strarted staring again but his moves were a bit more this year , we don’t have friends in common to start talking , and he was an introvert a bit , he tried actually to talk when some friends were arround but it was a small try and it never worked , he hasn’t really find any way to talk idk is it bc he’s shy or he didn’t want or he has never felt that , we are till now in the same situation, I got to talk to one of his friends and once I saw him with his friend staring at me and I understood that maybe his friend knows that he likes me , so I decided to tell to him friend that I into him and at first I was like guess who , and he guessed him from the second try and he was surprised that I told him I like him too ( he doesn’t that that I know the boy told him

About me ) and he didn’t tell me that he likes you and I think that’s normal since it’s his friend maybe he told me to keep it private , the strange thing is that he hasn’t told me anything about him like any information or something till now we galk everyday he has never mentioned him

Idk why , and yeah idk what’s on this boy’s mind does he wait for the right moment or especially the end of the year after exams since graduation is close , idk but one year and half is too much also he hasn’t send any follow request and I’m sure he knows my account and it’s easy to find it , he seems like he has never had any relationship I’m not sure but it’s obvious and everybody said it , also he is a nerd

Imagine actually being really sick, and your mom doesn't believe you, always undermines it, and forces you to do things and you can't say no because you can't seem to say it, and you give up on seeking any sort of comfort from your family but then it starts to break you and the mask you always have on starts to crack so you start to get moody and isolate yourself in your room and then hope is reignited in your heart that maybe just maybe your family could notice and strive to atleast try to understand whats happening but then that hope is extinguished after all they do is get annoyed and threaten you to take the one thing that helps you handle life, your source of reading away, if you don't start "sitting with them," "smiling," "only sit in your room if you're sleeping," and "laughing and returning to normal." So you mend the mask and put it back on again. And then you really feel like you're all alone and you hate that feeling. Then the mask that you put in school also cracks, but you don't have any more hope so you don't even try to mend it. You leave it as it is and just try to survive. Because you don't have the strength to do it anymore. But miraculously, some people start asking if you're okay. But you're already too numb and don't want to believe that someone may actually want to understand again, and you don't wanna burden anyone with your problems so you don't tell any of your friends. And the people that keep asking if there's a problem you tell them just the surface. Just so they can know and stop asking questions because every time someone does, it crushes your already broken heart a little. And every time you tell someone the surface level, you are met with two things, either indifference or pity. And you don't need any of those. You don't need anything at all right now. Well, you used to need someone to just listen in the past, but that need is broken by how your attempts ended. So you start hiding behind your mask at home. And just ignoring what people think and what's happening in school. And then teachers start to notice. And they like the idiots thay are. They basically announce it to the whole class multiple times. And now all your classmates are looking at you with pity or indifference. And you hate that. Because you don't need their pity. But even though you don't care, it doesn't mean that you want the whole class to know. So you brush it off every time and ignore all the stares and questions. And now you hate going to school when you're lying in your bed sleeping, and you hate going home when you're in school, and you don't have to put that stupid mask back on. You start escaping to the nady next to your house, taking the guise that you're going to the gym. But actually, you just want to spend time alone without anyone bothering you or asking questions. You just want to just stare at the ceiling and think about your life or read and escape from your life. But then when you're there, time flies by, and you don't realise each time. And you start spending hours there. And your parents are starting to get suspicious. And you really don't want them to know because you don't know where else you can go. And you worry about how your future is gonna be like. And how your parents will react when they see your grades when they see the missings when they see that you did close to none of the hws or projects or anything this quarter. All of this because you can't seem to concentrate enough to do these tasks no matter how simple as just turning something in. All because of how you feel. And then you consider wearing the mask back on at school also. To return when it was easy for the people around you. Because clearly no one cares enough to listen and understand and even if they do, you can't bring yourself to tell them anything. Huh, maybe you even developed trust issues now. You try to do that today. You try to put the maks back on. To hide behind it again. But it's too shattered. And your true self is already close to shattering as well. And now you feel pathetic, and you feel like life has no meaning now. You miss how it was before all that. Before the pain. Before the running. Before the isolating. Before everything. And you wish will all that remains of you that you can go back to how it was. And then you see a message saying "imagine lying to your mom abt being sick," and you sit and think you wish something like that happens again. You wish you could return to the time when you told your mom you were sick just so you don't go to school and she believes you. Maybe that's payback to all the lying. Like the boy who cried wolf. You lied about being sick too many times, and now when you are sick and you feel like you're being shredded to pieces each second of each day, no one believes you anymore. And then you try to make a joke by replying to the message. But then your fingers don't stop, and you keep writing and writing until you don't know even how you gut there and don't know whether you should press send. You think you shouldn't. That's the logical part of you. But the remains of your heart, the thing you once thought destroyed, stop you whispers in your ears saying "maybe just maybe," but then you fight it back, saying it's already too late. What can they possibly do. Your shattered heart argues back by saying that you won't lose anything if you just tried. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. But you argue back by saying that they'll think you're overreacting they'll think you're pathetic, and they'll think that you're just looking for attention. And you look back at the message and laugh to yourself. You really want to cry, but you don't even remember how. You see that the message you wrote is corny and stupid. You think that you should just delete it and never think about it again. Use it to reconstruct the mask again. Hide your shattered pieces behind it. You remember the times you almost did it. You almost got freed. But you got scared. You got scared about what would happen after. And now all you wish for is that killing yourself wouldn't get you to hell.

Soooo

Is it wrong?

Especially if it’s not the first?

So I’ve been hearing my spouses iPad notifications go off while sleeping and it’s like a nonstop kind of ding ding ding ding 🛎️ . So I wake up look 👀 and see texts going back and forth with multiple ppl (different texts) and then that’s when I notice a females name….. so for some reason I felt the need to check it…. I do and I notice it’s someone who he works with and I see that there’s some inappropriate messages——-my heart drops——-my breathing tends to 😮‍💨 and my mind is going wild it’s telling me to check his other messages and so I do and I see another female name….so I click on it and I see some stuff and I decide to go check if he has any deleted messages and lo and behold yes y’all he does——-the horns comes out😒👿 the hurt starts building and im thinking like but why what was the reason…

And guess what he’s on his way home sooo now I’m fuming and I’m hurt. My heart is telling me to let it go, don’t let him know I know but my mind is telling me to confront him to get it off my shoulders because it’s heavy yall. Boom I hear him coming in the door …..he says hi babe I say hi I have his iPad idk if he noticed it but I walk to the bathroom with it….. he changes whatnot and lays down to get some rest and I’m fuming with hurt 😔 I’m trying to hold it all in but I can’t! I walk into the bedroom he’s knocked out on the bed and I slap him in his face 😱 the look on his face was like wtf 😣 like he was lost for a moment. I’m so mad I started going at him, yelling, asking wtf is this!? And all sorts is going on. Eventually he sits up wacks his iPad kind of wacks my stomach and starts yelling idk and wtf and all sorts but I was so hurt I started texting and calling these women. And next you know it my bbys comes out and tells me mommy daddy’s leaving he said he’ll be back later.

Y’all I was so mad because this ain’t the first but I felt like I said what I felt and I felt a little peace like I was over it. Over the Hurt, over the lies and the dishonesty and disrespect because not once have I ever done what he’s done to me (13 years).

So boom he leaves…. I’m taking care the kids and there all sick mind you.

We start to texting each other and I’m going at it and then I call and I’m trying to get my point across and he’s not hearing it and giving all kinds of excuses…..then wham he starts getting angry and then starts putting blame on me.

I’m so hurt yall 😭

Why do they do that?

They know it’s wrong or they know you don’t like it and said they wouldn’t again but here we are round 2 like wtf.

Why give up 13 years for some kind of form of lust or some kind of excitement?

What do you get out of it?

Like you asked and did y’all? Or she said this so did you or do you?

And why is it when we say what if we do it to them they wouldn’t like it….then he’ll say I wouldn’t care….

Like wtf

Why hurt the person you say you love?

Why be with me so long just to do this?

And I already have low self esteem/self confidence

So it’s like wtf😔

I mean I could see if I’ve been unfaithful then yeah go right ahead but I’ve never not once.

Ugh 😑 😣 I hate this feeling

Then our bbys ends up asking when’s daddy coming home or starts to cry and ugh I know the feeling because inside I’m doing the same thing like hello I’m here 👋

I know I’ve changed but he’s changed also…. And even with marriage it makes me wonder and doubt if I should because what will happen if I do.

Why hurt a good woman?

Why do something to someone who treats you like a king and would do anything for like wtf.

Supposedly they never did anything it’s just texts and supposedly jokes.

But I’m not with the jokes

So i went on this trip after winning a contest with my work. And months before all the people who won had only met once and hadn't even talked cause the celebration was busy. Yet somehow, everyone already just clicked. They already became a tight friend group on day one. While by day two i think can count the words i spoke. I'm pretty sure It's my fault, cause, their great, at least they seem like that. i get a lot of anxiety in social enviroments and even when i try my best It's hard to talk to people, i think i don't know how to do It right. i can't naturally gravitate towards their group, can't join any of their convos and I feel bad being around them cause It feels like i'm seeing something i shouldn't, something private, like i'm intruding, i feel guilty. Also i think maybe i've done something wrong without realizing, maybe there's something wrong with my face, but i've been getting weird and nasty looks from time to time. Also i don't know but maybe something Is wrong with my head cause this whole experience doesn't feel like i'm living It. Like i'm just seeing It from a 3rd person perspective. Kind like i'm midly zooning out most of the time, and the rest of the time i'm completly zooned out and It's often at the worst times like when i'm crossing the street or going down the stairs. Ugh. I like this trip but can't wait to be home.

She keeps messaging me how she wants to touch me even though I’ve made it clear I am uncomfortable with physical contact, she also keeps on messaging me about when we can kiss which I’ve explicitly stated I’m uncomfortable with.

But I don’t want to break up with her because it will make her sad and it might effect my friendgroup and their the only people i have,

She also tends to do small, intimate acts which I do not approve of her doing: like kissing my hand, she knows I hate physical touch—I’m really afraid this behaviour will escalate but I’m unsure how to make it stop,

Am I just overreacting?

I'm not really good at talking and describing my feelings since i don't really talk about so im sorry of this doesnt really make sense

I'm 17 and im in college now, i really like what i do but when im working the loneliness always creeps back a little. I don't have any friends in class even though i so try to talk to them. Everyone in class seemed to do so well, everyone has their little group and when u look around the classroom u can see that im the only one sitting alone. I havw a few online friends but my bsf went mia on me so that also sucked. I don't really know how to let that loneliness die, i just want to make friends too you know?

Hi, so, I have a friend who's the favorite in the group, and I consider her my "best" and only true friend, even though we never see each other at school. Recently, she told me about some problems she's having, like loneliness and that she cant talk about it to no one.

And I can't help but wonder how she can feel like this when she's not rejected or ignored while she still the favorite and the one with a lot of friends (not like lol).

It makes me angry and sad at the same time because I feel like I'm not a good friend of not trully believe her and constently compare to her.

Im not looking for a lecture

and moral because I know everyone can feel this way, etc. I'm looking for advice on how to help her because like i have the same problems but i really dont have friends to talk to while shes the favorite and... Idk.

Give me your pov and what should i/she do

Hey everyone, I'm a bit lost and would love some help. My son recently came out, and I'm trying to keep up with all the terminology in the LGBTQ+ community. I genuinely want to understand everything to ensure I'm fully supportive. 🌈 One thing that's confusing me right now is the difference between "gay" and "queer." I've done some reading, but I feel like I'm wading through a sea of terms. From what I've gathered, "gay" traditionally refers to someone who's attracted to people of the same gender, usually men attracted to men, but it's also used by women who are attracted to women. It's more about a direct definition related to sexual orientation. "Queer," on the other hand, seems a bit more complex; it feels to me like more of an umbrella term that can include not just sexual orientation but also gender identity and expression. It's as if "queer" allows for a fluidity and openness that "gay" might not.

I've read that "queer" used to be a slur but has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTQ+ community as a positive, empowering label. However, I've heard others say they still find it uncomfortable due to its past. How do people differentiate between them now, and when is it appropriate to use one term over the other? 🤔 To me, this feels like learning a new language from scratch, but I'm committed to getting it right. I want my son to know I respect him and anyone else he identifies with. I came across a book titled "Queer: A Graphic History" by Meg-John Barker recently. It gave me some insight into the broader spectrum of identities beyond gay or straight, but I still feel like there's so much more to understand. Have any of you experienced similar challenges trying to make sense of it all? I'd appreciate any suggestions on resources or perhaps anecdotes from your own journey in learning and adapting to the changing language around these identities.

Maybe I'm too "woke" or something but I can't bring myself to be mad at a woman. At all.

Throughout all my current years and childhood moving up into adulthood, I feel like i can't exactly be mad at a woman no matter what it is she does. Women gave gone through decades of suffering and being silenced, and they still are in a world where we're supposed to be helping them — aiding them.

I don't feel comfortable hating or kinkshaming a woman, but it's strange because I feel more than comfortable to kinkshame a man. Does this make sense to any of you? I'd defend women with my life as a man, but I wouldn't really care about men unless they're close to me.

In the same vein I feel horrible when I see a sad woman, but not so much for a man despite being a male myself. To me, their decades of suffering makes me feel like women do not deserve to suffer any longer just for being a woman — and that is true to me — men have been at the "top" for a while, so I suppose I switched things up and my brain isn't very lenient to them?

It's a strange train of thought that I'm not sure has any origin, is it a good thing? A bad thing?

My apologies I just needed to get some of it out.

Hey! I'm 25 years old woman living a very happily life with my husband of 5 years. We both are a great match. Best partners ever.

Last night i encounter a really unpleasing situation. My husband, the moment he woke up, opened his phone, i was still sleepy but i have a vague image that he open some chats, probably whatsapp and then he went to washroom. I clearly saw him not closing the recent tabs. Out of curiosity i opened his phone (which i never did), to check the recent tabs but there were no whatsapp tabs opens but all others recent open tabs were there. Me and my husband never doubted each other. He is very caring and loving husband but out of no where i started doubting him. I think he has a user mode in his phone ( as he is using google pixel 7). This all situation making me crazy I don't know what to do. Should dig into this matter?

so hey guys, i just wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a while. you ever just sit there and wonder about your identity like, all existential and stuff? well, lately, i've been thinking, "am i trans?" 🌈 and let me tell ya, it’s like my brain’s been in overdrive (lol). you get these niggling thoughts and start questioning stuff you’ve never even considered before. it's kind of like when Socrates was all about "knowing thyself" and i'm sitting here trying to figure out, you know, me, myself and i. 😅

so, hear me out. like, growing up, i never really felt out of place or anything, but now and then i’d get these vibes like, “man, this just doesn’t fit”, and i kinda brushed them off, honestly. it’s not like i saw myself in the mirror and thought, hey, that’s not me, but there's always been something simmering beneath the surface. i guess it’s like when you wear an itchy sweater, and you’re just living with it, ‘cause, i dunno, it keeps you warm. 🧥 but then, you start to wonder, "is there a cozier option out there, something that fits just right without the itch?" anyone ever feel that?

and then you hit the internet, start reading about different experiences, stories, and you’re like, “wait, other people felt this way too?” you know those late-night deep dives into the Wikipedia abyss, lol. and suddenly you find yourself knee-deep in blogs, forums, and stories that resonate; like, seriously, people's honesty is just stunning and it’s like having a casual chat with strangers who seem to get what you’re going through. it’s like that Ted Talk moment, where someone articulates exactly what’s been floating around in your head but you never found the words. could that really be me, though? i keep thinking, "should i even be feeling this way?"

i guess what i’m saying is that it’s intimidating but also kinda intriguing, trying to navigate these waters. and i figure this whole self-discovery thing isn’t meant to be rushed, right? maybe it’s a journey where i learn more as i go along, and maybe it's fine to be uncertain and as long as i'm polite and respectful about where i end up, that’s what matters. besides, life’s too short to not question everything, and who knows, maybe there’ll be a point where things become clearer. or maybe not, i dunno. 🤷‍♂️ anyway, have any of you guys been through this kind of thing, or got tips for someone who’s sort of in the same boat? no pressure, i'm open to hearing what you think, just trying to figure this all out; thanks for tuning into my vent!

Living together with my boyfriend for the past month has been a roller coaster of emotions, mostly on the positive side, as we've both been discovering new aspects of one another. Our relationship is pretty solid, and there's a strong foundation of love and mutual respect. 😊 However, I've found myself pondering recently about one aspect that seems to be slightly out of sync between us: sex. It appears that my boyfriend is significantly more interested in it than I am. It's not that I don't enjoy it, but my desire doesn't match up with his; it sometimes makes me wonder why sex holds such importance in relationships anyway.

We've been dating for six months now and made the big decision to live together a month ago. Overall, it's been fantastic! But this mismatch in our sexual drives is starting to make me question... what role does sex truly play in a relationship?! It feels like it's this universally accepted notion that sex is crucial, and I'm curious if it's really a make-or-break factor. Can't a loving relationship thrive without constantly focusing on this particular aspect? Or does it somehow strengthen the bond between partners? 🤔

I often feel guilty when I turn down my boyfriend's advances, even when I've had a long, exhausting day. His persistence makes me feel as if I'm letting him down, and I don’t want him to think I'm not attracted to him because that’s definitely not the case. We've talked about it, and he’s always kind and understanding, but I can't shake off the feeling that we're out of sync when it comes to our physical needs. It's got me pondering whether a relationship can still be strong if one partner's interest in sex doesn't align with the other's??... how do people handle discrepancies in desire while keeping things balanced and happy?!!

I'm hopeful that this isn't something that will drive us apart. In fact, I'm determined for it not to!!! Exploring this aspect of our relationship is a learning process. Maybe our focus should be on understanding and compromising rather than stressing over the differences. While I'm figuring this out, I’d love to hear from you guys... do you think sex is the ultimate glue in a relationship, or is it just one piece of the puzzle? The journey of understanding each other's needs better is ongoing, and I'm keen to keep nurturing this loving relationship into something that's long-lasting and fulfilling for both of us. 🌟

Everyone in my school hates me now, I started this new school and I ended up dating this girls ex and I ended up causing half the school to hate me, now I get bullied over and over again by people and all my friends keep going to other schools, not only that but my depression is coming back and I feel like I can't talk to anybody because nobody wants to listen.

My parents won't get me a therapist when I know I need one. I'm unable to get diagnosed with anything because I'm too young and it's always just "hormones" ugh I wish someone would just listen to me

I don't plan on being around much longer, I don't see the point of it, I'm so tired of everything, the bullying, the mood swings, I've had this idea in my head for ages now, one where I don't wanna be here anymore, I've tried before, multiple times and it's never worked, I just want it to work or for me to get better, I don't know what to do but I'm so tired of being here.

Hi, so I met my group of friends in middle school, and we always got along really well, but since high school, I feel like there's already a favorite and that I'm the one who's being ignored more and more. And when I say something or remove myself from the online group, they don't even bother to add me back. Every day I have hope of seeing them at school, but I'm constantly alone. They ignore me and completely avoid me, and they don't even come to ask how I am. And when I do find them, I either feel hated or completely ignored.

i... dont even know what to do at this point. everything has been stagnant lately. no matter how much i suffer, or how much i try to change something, it all remains stuck in one spot. ive tried so many things, but none worked...

i have diagnosed clinical moderate depression and anxiety, alongside minor degree of ocd. this is awful. im so tired.

i dont have friends, even though ive tried to strike up a conversation or befriend someone 17 FUCKING TIMES in real life, countless more on the internet. among the hundreds of epople ive talked to, you can count those i liked with your two hands.

i dont have hobbies, even though ive tried to draw 7 times and learn 5 languages, all in different time periods. no matter the effort, or approach, it all vanished in a span of a week or two.

i dont feel like i belong anywhere, even though im present in one online community with great people there that make me smile.

i dont get good grades at school, even though ive tried a whole list of methods on dealing with procrastination, be it scheduling or gathering all willpower thats left. nothing works.

i would feel guilty. only if i could even feel things at all anymore. people around me are great, my mother, my teachers - they are all nice, they try to accomodate for me, but i feel worthless for not even being able to do even the most basic of tasks.

i feel so hollow. i just want to feel again. it hasnt always been thus. i remember the days when i cried. a lot. for even the most insignificant of things. its not anymore. i miss those times. i want to go back. i cant cry anymore. even if i want to. i want to cry almost everyday.

ive hurt people. im so sick of this evil side to me - horny, lustful, freaky, whatever you call it. it all began when my "friend" showed me porn at 4 years old. this experience has changed me a lot. mostly for the worse. i dont like this part, but without it i cant truly feel appreciated and free. with it, i can only experience anxiousness for people that those actions may damage.

i get help. psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists. i take prescribed antidepressants. i dont feel like there are any changes, no matter how much i try.

ive been lacking someone to talk to about everything. life, problems, in general, lately. i have no one to vent to. or talk to for that matter. people seem so superficial, and its me whos the "different" one. they are "normal".

i beg for help. i reach out to those who may give me comfort. its rarely reciprocated.

i have such big capacity to love, care, comfort others. and i do that! whenever someone is in pain i make sure to let them known im there for them if they need someone to talk to. projection, isnt it? i offer others something i could not have. selfless. awesome. i have so many great qualities, but for some reason i can never find anyone to be friends with. am i worse than everyone else? or better? or just different?

im so tired. i dont know what to do, i just want all this numbness to end, i want to feel and live again. this existence is torment. help me please