Life Stories and Everyday Drama

Alright, what's the deal with dreams feeling so damn real?! Seriously! One moment you're on a tropical beach, and the next thing you know, you're screaming your lungs out because your best friend turned into a friggin' giant spider. It's crazy how our minds just decide to mess with us like that. I get it, our brains do weird stuff while we're asleep, but why so intense?! 😳 I've had dreams where I was convinced I could actually fly. You know those ones where you take off running and suddenly you're just up there in the sky? Waking up from that felt like losing superpowers! And don't even get me started on the times I've dreamed about eating an entire buffet when I'm really just drooling on my pillow. Classic!

And let's talk about nightmares for a second. Why are they always so vivid?! It's like our subconscious is sitting there going, 'Hey, let's make them remember every horrifying detail of this dream when they wake up!' Thanks brain!!! Ever wake up completely drenched in sweat because of a stupid nightmare? Like, not only did you not sleep well, now you gotta change your sheets too! 🙄 My worst recurring nightmare is getting stuck back in high school... without pants!!! Come on!! Out of all the things to haunt me at night!

But seriously... how does this even work? Why does some random nonsense feel more real than reality itself? Science or whatever probably has some explanation, but who needs that when you've got firsthand experiences, right?! 😂 Just wish someone would invent a device to let us control our dreams already; imagine making every single one fantastic instead of freaky! Honestly, it's such a wild ride every time we close our eyes. Whether it's exploring alien planets or running away from zombie hordes... dreaming definitely keeps life interesting!

seriously guys..... what do men look for in a woman? is it confidence or maybe something else hidden beneath the surface? as a woman who experiences little success with guys, i find myself asking this question frequently. it's not like i'm physically unattractive; i've got an average look, which should appeal to some extent, right? beyond that, socially i’m quite nice with everyone around me. smiling and being kind doesn't seem to work in my favor though. sometimes i think it’s about choosing the wrong time or context to interact. "industry standards" many would call it—this vaguely defined notion of attraction criteria that varies on individual preference and societal constructs;

speaking somewhat clinically, building rapport has always been complicated by unsolved mixed signals. positive reinforcement theory suggests personalized compliments work wonders yet translating those into meaningful connections doesn’t go smoothly for everyone. even while thoroughly familiar with nonverbal communication techniques as proposed by lilian glass in “i know what you’re thinking,” comprehension alone doesn't make someone suddenly appealing to potential relationships. endless analysis yields no distinct answer when treated matter-of-factly without emotional depth factored in creating dilemmas over how self-improvement aligns against authenticity.

for instance: during conferences among coworkers where professional etiquette masks casual conversational doorways my efforts maintaining composure ideally balance approachability with authority (an ongoing strategic tactic i employ). these encounters unfold civilly usually smooth but bear zero fruit romantically—all indicators suggest external observation misreads often void recognition necessary mutual attraction fostering further connection titled ‘mutual interest.’ illustrating confusion subtly hints there exists unspoken complexity dismissed easily unless one articulates struggles seeking active partnership amid passive social dynamics.

my thoughts are all so scrambled and i dont have any friends to talk to and i really just need to get all this off my chest. my girlfriend and i were dating for 8 months, we recently just hit 8 months, and i find out that she has been cheating on me with random strangers online for like 3 months now. straight up just flirting with whatever girl dms her. while im over here planning many things for us and for our future. i feel so stupid because i trusted her so much, there were no signs of it either (i think). we spent lots of time together, while also not suffocating each other, we never got into conflicts and if either one of us were to get upset, we'd talk it out really well. we just clicked, you know? and even through those 3 months she acted the same, loving way she always was with me. i found out about this literally two days ago, where i confronted her and we ended things. i went to her thinking i was going to be strong about it and that i was going to cut contact for both of our sakes, but i guess my self respect just went out the window the second i texted her !! because im not ready to let her go at all and i even told her that i was willing to forgive her actions if she were to just send me a text saying "i will change for the better" but she made it clear that she didnt want anything serious in the first place so i just told her that i agreed itd be better to end the relationship. but god. i seriously cannot let her go. i told her that i wouldnt cut contact and that she can talk to me if she ever felt like it, that i'd be there. well now she sends me like 2 messages every like, 4/5 hours ?? and it honestly makes me so sad. and i know that i shouldnt feel sad because we've parted ways now and we're not dating and the reason we're not dating anymore is because she cheated and UGHHH!!!!#$*(@. i dont want to be an annoying, clingy ex. i really dont. we're not together anymore and i need to respect that, but i just care so much about her. i want to know about how her day went, i want to listen to her rant about stupid work moments, i want to know whenever she's feeling down and i want to hear her excitement over whatever nerdy things she likes. i really loved her, this hurts. my nervous system was never the best, im an anxious person and whenever things worry me or something, my heart rate immediately gets so fast and it lasts for a while before i can calm down. after confronting her about all that, i tried to sleep it off because she wasnt answering me, and my heart rate was at 130-150 for about 3 hours even though i was at rest. i managed to calm it down but it still starts racing out of nowhere and it makes me very lightheaded and my chest starts to hurt. the whole finding out she was cheating thing is definately what triggered this dumb heart thing and ive had to constantly do many things to make sure that my heart rate stays normal because it's gotten to the point in other occurances where it'll reach the 200s, my mom has been checking it multiple times a day. this is exhausting and im so tired, last night i kept waking up every few hours because i would suddenly wake up short of breath and my heart racing. i hate that i have to deal with this bs now. im also starting college in august, and i need to learn how to drive by the end of this month (i know nothing about how to drive!!!!!) and i also need to find a job and i have no friends and uhgdshj, im just so sad. im so sad and so angry. im so angry at myself and the world. i already deal with depression and this is just, a lot to deal with right now. i feel like i dont have any space to properly process anything, especially the whole breakup thing. everything is happening so fast. i feel so sad and confused and angry and conflicted, just so many ugly emotions at once. i try not to let these things get to me because i do want to live and i do want a future for myself, but i just feel so alone right now. im so tired of everything. im sorry this rant is long and messy i just really needed to let it out.

life, it's this complex algorithm of random events and hardly expected outcomes; like why do we even get up every day to go through repetitive cycles? waking up, doing the 9-to-5 grind, consume products we've been conditioned to need (like really) is this what life is? after spending so long in the workplace, investing time into arbitrary goals set by someone else who frankly doesn't give a damn about me as an individual, it makes you wonder: what's even the point?

the hustle culture permeates societal values pushing us toward career success that somehow equates to life fulfillment. yet here I sit, cynical about my contributions which seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you pursue goals tirelessly and for what? these momentarily satisfying achievements always fade away like footprints on sand when overwhelmed by life's existential questions... where’s the manual on living that guarantees contentment or happiness?

somehow intelligent minds still grapple with existential funk; understanding complexities within our own conscience. all efforts eventually lead back asking why we animate through mere biological functions facing physical distress emotionally or mentally then finally surrendering unceremoniously when life’s game ends😕imagine operating every day fighting subconscious battles inside trying not letting ants crawl around brain.

it strains credibility considering predetermined life purposes given constraints exist around us stifling creativity imaginative desires changing realities slow amble appreciating intrinsic beauty surroundings increasingly rare moments cherish highlight despite relentless digital distractions reshuffles priorities there's palpable longing escape monotonous rhythm fearfully step unknown without replacing vacuoles unanswered queries engulfing perception entirely lacking finite detanglements cyclic dependency patterns fallible instrument decipher eternity's randomness over virtue yet persist...

Hey everyone, I'm sitting here in my room trying to gather the courage to talk about something that's been weighing on me for quite a while. I’m hoping I can get some advice or at least an understanding ear... So here it goes: I want to tell my parents that I'm... gay.... 🌈

You might be wondering why this is even an issue in this day and age, but trust me, it's not as easy as it seems. My family has always been supportive, but they are also traditional in their own way. I remember growing up with stories from my mom about how she imagined my wedding day: always picturing a bride and groom scenario, if you catch my drift....

My biggest fear is the potential reaction or change in dynamics at home. I've read countless stories online where people's families reacted poorly, and it's heartbreaking just thinking about it happening to me. But then again, I've also seen those beautiful “coming out” videos where parents fully embrace their child's identity... I dream of something like that! This whole situation feels like juggling a bunch of emotions at once; fear and excitement mixed with anxiety and hope... Is there ever really a right time to do this? There’s a part of me that believes they'll surprise me positively... but what if they don't?!

I’ve spoken with close friends who know about my sexuality; they're incredibly supportive and have encouraged me to be honest with my family too.Some even suggested using references from popular culture as conversation starters: like quoting lines from movies or TV shows where characters have had similar experiences. One friend said when he came out, his mom already had suspicions and was relieved when he finally told her! Honestly though, all these hypothetical scenarios swirling around don’t help much when faced with the real deal convo.I guess deep down I’m just holding onto hope that everything will turn out okay.But yeah, any advice would be super appreciated!

I feel deeply hurt because my boss has interfered with one of my friends, and that's something I can't allow. It's incredibly difficult for me to have friendships, and to just abandon them like that, especially after manipulation and by dictating the terms of my interactions with them, is disrespectful. It's an imposition on the very nature of my life that I cannot tolerate under any circumstances, and I feel compelled to stand up for myself immediately by any means necessary. For him to ask me if I'm doing this because I like this person, want a relationship, or something like that, is disrespectful. It's an accusation that I'm trying to turn a human being into a profile, and that goes completely against my principles.

This individual has interfered in my life beyond all bounds, and now I feel compelled to remove him by any means necessary and to report his actions. I see that he's completely out of control, and something must be done about it. The days are over when I supported his dominance, when he used me and our relationship as a means to achieve stability, which is to do so at my expense. I can't allow that. I'm there to work for the company, not for him, and it's clear that I'm definitely not with him to carve out my own territory. He doesn't control me, even if it means facing every hell imaginable. Personally, I'll fight for my life, of course. I need to be with my friend. I can't let circumstances push me aside. She and I are fed up with this. What we have is very special. We had difficulties at the beginning, but that's natural. I'm tired of this guy always interfering, making us blame each other, just like that, and hiding behind the machinery of his own narrative. This is serious.

Given the recent events in my country, I didn't hesitate and took advantage of the crisis to expose this scoundrel, to reveal his true nature, desperately seeking understanding. This is a mechanism to gain favor, even at the cost of bureaucratic abuse, constantly admitting and admitting, which serves as a smokescreen, masking what one doesn't see. He is a great individual without feelings, living off others to expand his power, but his days are over, as the authorities themselves, on all sides, have betrayed him, exposing him completely. He cares about no one but himself, and he has tried to make me sympathize with him through feelings, through empathy, but personally, I have no interest whatsoever in this miserable, heartless politician who has found ways to flaunt his machismo by exploiting a woman's vulnerability, just as he did with my friend.

I understand why this is happening with his secretary, who hasn't made any effort to leave in any way. Instead, she's normalized the situation and, when push comes to shove and he's in trouble, she's looking for ways to confront him about it, revealing that she lives only for running away, without any real grounding. They aren't good people in any sense; they thrive on manipulation, on the extreme control of subjectivity, on making the world turn out the way they want, without any mercy, relying on these group games that distract him. In fact, they even find it amusing to pry into one's private life, desperately trying to steal anything that might enhance their image within the company. However, those days of support are over too, because everyone in the company openly and clearly supports my relationship with my friend, who I believe is defending us. One always sees it through the doormen or those who are always present and observing, precisely because their profession is to make receptiveness to professions possible.

I am definitely announcing with this, and proudly so, that a bad man has fallen and that he dragged his secretary down with him, because his hypocrisy is no longer believed in any way. His good intentions, support, and so on, only make us understand that what matters to them is manipulation at all costs. In fact, it was because of them that people distanced themselves from me, and I didn't realize it, but they all saw that there was indeed something about me that was out of place, and that it wasn't right to be a lover of emotions just to get something from others, but rather to become transparent, to integrate myself. I didn't want an isolated life as they intended, to the point that they tried to control my relationships with others. I really had to figure it out; it was almost spontaneous, I must say, because although it was ingenious, everything turned out to be easy for me.

It all stemmed from a routine that was itself based on another routine, one that took into account that something out of the ordinary was happening, something my boss and his secretary failed to consider. They tried to use their own tools, their own routine, to deal with me, even though I was clearly an outsider to their routine. Therefore, they refused to acknowledge they were in trouble and acted defensively. This is the problem, for them, of living in groups where normality is the imperative, not the practice. It's something many people don't see, and I think it needs to be discussed.

I don't feel comfortable around these people. Everyone rebels against them, and they don't consider any context. They live in perpetual victimhood, always aiming to perpetuate the dictatorship they created. Everything always gets out of hand, something always happens, and they live at the mercy of the fact that if it's not one specific person, then the issue is simply a matter of hiding. They live solely off their image, which is the only thing that protects them, and they attack anyone who isn't part of their circle by any means necessary, through gossip, through that string of things that justify any accident not as an accident but as intentional, precisely in their eagerness to accuse it of being entirely deliberate. They are monsters, and I can't believe I had to work with them, but well, it's out of my hands, and I am infinitely grateful for my perseverance, because, even though I didn't say it, I felt completely capable of handling them. They saw my complete trust as excessive, and it was precisely that illusion that led to their downfall. It is astonishing, without a doubt, to observe how these people smiled at their own misfortune, at their own ruin.

My friend was aiming for the same thing, from every point of view, but it all came down to setting limits, acknowledging risks, the possibility of loss, because not everything is permanent, not everything will always be there, no matter what, not everything is unconditional—well, nothing in life is unconditional, not at all. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, thanks to this spirit she manages to integrate herself even more into the community, somehow making use of our practices, based on an integration with the other, a fair establishment consisting of confronting the other, under the freedom to defend oneself. However, with others, this doesn't prove significant; instead, they become submissive out of fear of conflict, and in itself, this is leading her to become dominant in the office, of course, except with me, since she knows I can see her attempts at confrontation. Of course, it all started with me confronting her, opening myself up to appearances and falling into that consistency resulting from not accepting the denial of those appearances. She operates with others, starting from the denial of herself, as a gesture that, otherwise, if they step outside of her comfort zone, they will find themselves facing a warrior prepared to face rejection; her denial consists of the fact that such rejection does not exist, in principle, because others act in accordance with her, when it does exist, and precisely because she denies that depth that I faced.

There's a woman in the office I'd like to socialize with. She's quite attractive, but that's beside the point. I like her because we're around the same age. However, she insists on keeping everything strictly professional, to the point of completely imposing her will, acting as if she were the boss, without any room for dialogue whatsoever. From every perspective, this woman is out of place, and I don't want to talk to her anymore. She stresses me out. She's not my boss; she's not there to order me around. Even my own boss doesn't have that right.

I'm tired of playing along with her. I don't like her as a person. Her life is a constant threat to others, fueled by a brutal sense of victimhood. I'm fed up. I don't want her to keep telling me what to do, how to interact with others. In fact, I think it's outrageous that she's blocking me in order to maintain order and control my impulses. She's trying to keep me in line, but that's not how things work. The key is dialogue, not imposition. I don't like it at all. I feel disrespected, bureaucratically and emotionally invaded, completely devastated.

Thanks to this girl, I was able to escape the clutches of my boss, who had me between a rock and a hard place, who wanted me to socialize with everyone in a forced way, so as not to embarrass him, and that's something I'll always hate him for. But what happened with this girl was enough. She's not my boss; we're definitely coworkers, but nothing more. She doesn't have to give me any direction; I'm not a child by any means.

Luckily, all of that was worked out with her. In fact, I tried to push her to the limit regarding her desire to be my boss, because she isn't. She's a person, a friend, as we both agreed. It's fine that she wants to keep me blocked, to make sure that our friendship doesn't spill over into the professional sphere, and that it's bound to explode into disaster. I agree with establishing a relationship, one based on genuine affection, but for God's sake, let it be effective, as she and I both clearly saw. It pains me not knowing how she is right now or being able to contact her in any way. I don't feel I can reach anyone at the office because they're all in their own worlds, and they see me as some kind of threat because I don't approach life with the same level of concern.

No one there wants to tell me what boundaries I should follow, not at all. They all assume they should have them, and for that very reason, they distance themselves from me, reject me, and forget about me in conversation, and that's uncomfortable. I don't feel welcome at work because of the lifestyle I've chosen, and they even seem to think it's friendly to make changes. I feel hurt at the office. That girl isn't the only one; rather, she was the one who highlighted what the others were doing to me, and it was incredibly difficult for me to change, always finding myself at the mercy of conflict. It's awful, but I don't feel like I belong in the office right now. I feel like I'm on my own, living my own life, but not with them. I don't feel included at work, precisely because of that rejection. I don't feel like I belong. It feels like a complete illusion to be in a WhatsApp group for all of them. They all think that if I join them, I'll have some ulterior motive or something. Luckily, this girl stopped thinking that way a long time ago. She realized that I was simply there for that sweet thing we had, but that, without a doubt, for God's sake, I needed her to be there, because I can't assume anything. I don't know her, I'm not in her world, and I shouldn't have to be. And for her to leave, just because I'm a stranger, wanting to be there, is the worst thing you can do to a person.

It's feeling completely rejected, because we come from different circumstances, and I don't know how to handle it. And it's perfectly fine that I don't know, and that doesn't mean I can be left out. We're in contact through the WhatsApp group, but personally, I'd like to have a face-to-face conversation with her. What kind of friendship is this, for God's sake? How is it possible that at work, because of my circumstances, I can't be happy? How is it possible that for reciprocating her feelings, I have to be blocked? How is it possible that by being responsible with my feelings, I make people uncomfortable? It's not fair, and I can't ignore these feelings. I can't. It's not my ethics. My ethics aren't to avoid anyone. It's not my style. It's disrespectful. There are facts, and I can't ignore them. I can't abandon anyone. How is it possible that for not sharing the same circumstances, I'm treated like this? It can't be. I don't feel welcome in the office.

I don't feel welcome as a human being in this girl's life. All this time, I've had to chase her down, desperately, so that, for God's sake, she'd understand that the issue wasn't that she was out of control.

I needed her support, because it was there. Why did I have to insist until I couldn't anymore, enduring every possible rejection? I don't even know where this person is; there's no coordination whatsoever. All my time with her lately has been nothing but adapting to how she handles things, forcing me into a box no matter what, justifying everything she does, precisely because I can't reciprocate, precisely because of her nerves, anxieties, and so on. And now I have to live completely subject to her circumstances, to her feelings. Nevertheless, for God's sake, where do I fit into all of this? I don't recognize myself at all. I'm tired of defending this human being who only succeeded in shattering my life, exposing me to the worst experiences I could ever imagine: rejection, ostracism, humiliation. God, I went through so much because of this person. But I also have to acknowledge that this is the price of responding to feelings in a society where that's not the norm, where feelings are seen as an obstacle to progress, and the prevailing ethics are to ignore them.

No one has any idea what I went through, the defenses I had to mount with my own work group, to the point of jeopardizing its future, precisely because my relationship with her was detrimental to their image. It was hell, and I'm sure she knows I went through it in some way. I'm sure she knows the anxieties I endured behind the scenes, everything I've kept bottled up, and now she's trying to defend me, trying to be empathetic, because, in fact, my life was radically turned upside down because of her, precisely because I didn't reciprocate her feelings, precisely because I was completely avoidant until the very end. I lost my work group, I lost my life outside of work thinking about what to do with this girl, all the tears I shed, the things I couldn't say because I have no one else. That girl, in essence, turned my world upside down, exactly what she didn't want for herself. So, did she want to keep the peace at my expense? Even she didn't think it was fair; it was precisely what she didn't want to show in her image under any circumstances. In fact, she broke down, she broke her principles of limiting herself solely to work, to what was convenient, to finally enter the realm of emotions. Because what I was going through wasn't fair, that I insisted and insisted, that because I was responsible she would leave me aside, something that surely happened to her. Her image was forged at the cost, through her practices, of avoiding these kinds of people, but with me, it was shown that she was still in that guise, that what she was doing was purely to exert control over the world, that it was nothing more than that, an image she maintained at the expense of others reciprocating. And indeed, because her very presence, the lack of socialization with her, exudes abandonment, and that is what others want to prevent with this, because it's precisely about being different, in today's culture, from what was experienced in childhood.

I've wanted to express this for a long time, I know I was disorganized, but I needed to see these things.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I have already posted a story about the bad habit that has chained me for a long time (pornography), I mentioned that I had a month and two weeks where I was able to resist, and it made me feel really bad to relapse but even so I seem to not improve. But well, how did I manage to make it a month? It all happened because one night I said the classic “This is the last day.” In the morning I looked for a sermon that fit what I was feeling and I found it, it motivated me to try. I tried to get closer to God, reading and singing hymns, now that I think about it I didn’t pray too much. But I thought I had been able to leave it behind, but the thoughts caught up with me. I didn’t feel better, I felt like the same loser as always. Now that I’m writing this I think I could have gotten more out of my intention to get closer to God, but I did it so I could leave that harmful habit behind, because I feel like it has damaged several aspects of my life. I know all the blame is mine, but come on, I feel like God has not helped me... I have never felt like He has put a plan in my life, I am going so unnoticed by Him. Now it is hard for me to try again, I can’t find a direction or a way for something to make me feel better. In general I don’t understand, if I grew up in a religious family why didn’t God have anything for me? Why did He allow me to fall into this? At one point in my life I wanted to stop believing, at others I have believed with faith, but it was always the same. So whether I could leave the habit behind or not, I don’t feel like He has something for me in life, it might sound extreme but my youth is passing before my eyes and even though God sees me He seems to leave me in the waiting room. Maybe it’s stupid, instead of complaining I should go out and try things, but what happened to the child version of me asking God for something to happen and it never happened, maybe today I would have more confidence, I don’t know.

I don’t think it is important to clarify exactly what religion I am, your advice or comment sharing your thoughts would help me a lot and I would really appreciate it. Have a nice day.

i'm 27 and ever since i had my first kid, i kinda just lost that spark, you know? like, back in the day, i was always on the go and buzzing around with hobbies, maybe trying out recipes or just hanging with friends. It's a whole different vibe now. I feel like everything's a bit of a blur and nothing really pops out brimming with interest anymore. it's like all those things that kept me alive back then are drifting miles away.

i guess part of it is cuz life has shifted majorly and now i'm more focused on my child but sometimes it feels like i've lost parts of myself along the way. people said it'd be tough after having kids and there's joy too for sure but honestly didn't think i'd feel this... disconnected as well. it's not depression exactly, maybe more like there's fog where there used to be clarity.

just finding balance seems impossible or maybe i'm just overthinking stuff too much; everything's happening so fast and slow at the same time. maybe when you love someone as much as parents do their little ones something has to give? idk if it'll always be like this but that's what i'm working through.

so me and my friends, we love to travel. who doesn't, right??? but this time we're planning a trip and it's such a headache coz we're all in the lgbtq+ community and we don't wanna end up somewhere shitty where we'll be judged or worse. i mean, why do some places have to be so backward about people just living their lives?? like get over it already! 😡 anyway, we've been looking at countries that are more chill, but it's still kinda scary coz you hear stories of people having bad experiences even in places you think would be safe... one minute you're enjoying your iced coffee and next thing you're dealing with some bigot who's decided to ruin your day. ugh!!!!!

we've looked into europe because, duh!!! it seems more open-minded but again there's always some level of risk involved. what if someone decides they don't like the way you look or who you're holding hands with?? 🙄 it's exhausting to think about how careful we have to be when others just take things for granted without a second thought. then there's social media painting everything as rainbow perfect when in reality that's not the case for everyone... like come on!!!! stop sugarcoating!!

had an experience once where we were on a supposedly 'inclusive' beach vacation spot (won't name it now) but got side-eyed by locals every damn day. can't even relax without being judged!! honestly thinking maybe we should just stick to our roots and explore things locally... safer bet i guess. yet here we are still wanting an adventure without any drama attached. is that too much to ask for????

Hey folks, I'm at a point where I need to share my curiosity and confusion about something quite peculiar... Can anxiety cause tingling in your body? 🤔😅 I've been experiencing these sporadic tingling sensations and it's kind of freaky, not gonna lie. Now, I'm not exactly the type to catastrophize every little symptom... but hey, better safe than sorry!

In all seriousness though, I've read articles that mention anxiety can manifest physically in strange ways. 'Mind over matter' they say, right? It's fascinating yet terrifying how our minds could potentially trigger such physical reactions. However, as optimistic as I like to be (thankfully), it would be reassuring to know if anyone has had similar experiences or insights. Maybe there's a logical explanation that could put my mind at ease? 🙂 Cheers for any input!

I’m the type of woman that won’t admit to wanting a relationship. I won’t admit to feelings for someone, I won’t let anyone know that I’m dating someone or am going on a date with someone.

I try to keep myself on the down low, I keep my walls up, I try to at least. I am presentable, I clean up very well, and I change how I am all the time to be at a man’s level. Yet, I never make it past the second date. I never reach a third.

I constantly ask myself “What’s wrong with me?”. When I get told that they don’t want to see me again, or I get ghosted, or I get told they don’t want a relationship with me; it breaks my heart over and over. Yet, again, I still get up and try.

I hear,” I’m sorry. He just wasn’t the one.” Or “he’s an asshole.” Or “screw men, they suck”. These are the people that have relationships, these are the people that has had multiple relationships, etc…

I don’t understand. What am I doing so wrong? Either I’m too much, not enough, or just “not right”. If this continues until I’m 40; I quit life.

Does anyone have any tips that can help me with my knee pain as my knee pain has got even worse and I been really struggling with a new symprem / problem and the symtim / problem is my knee now feels like it is grinding when I'm working and I my knee seems to be clicking and popping more and it has started to hurt once it has clicked or popped and my knee has been giving out more as well.

Also ibuprofen and parisitamol aren't tutching the pain anymore.

And I also haven't received my physio latter yet and no doctor can or seems to be helping me and I f I try to get an appointment for my knee they say as I'm under the hospital they can't help me so I'm basically alone till I start physio and I don't know when that will be.

One of the major problems I've observed while exploring the world, from my new way of life—radical solitude, seeking the greatest possible economic and social independence, to the point where I construct my own reality, which delves into so many diverse realities that I can't possibly agree with the idea of ​​a single, monolithic reality, which I find extremely dangerous—is that many people live by trying to escape their problems quickly, instantaneously, as if their lives, their individual parts, were somehow waste or something like that. I've noticed that this is most prevalent in social problems, while the essential aspects, where there's less reflection, are the market products, where there's greater context. But in the social sphere, this is practically and completely abandoned.

I set out to follow basic principles of socialization, those established by professionals, but I encountered a world that thrives on the very things from which those principles—those mistakes—originated, and I was utterly stunned. Things I had already overcome, some people haven't; instead, to my surprise, they continue to delve into them, by any means necessary, without any restraint, digging deeper and deeper, leading me to wonder, "When, for God's sake, will these people hit rock bottom?" I'm frightened because the social aspect, the very atom of our composition that is society, isn't taken seriously. This is reflected, dramatically, in the lack of consequences for the results people seek within this, and I must say it, capitalism, which is clearly savage because it's about seizing control of the system, the very source from which all modus operandi arises. I'm stunned and don't know what to do, nor who to tell, because everyone is caught up in this situation. So, talking to them is just trying to express that they're mired in a kind of jelly, and since they deny it, they'll find any excuse to deny it. And given my persistence, they'll try to silence me.

My town, where I am, it must be admitted, is a town of silences, where dictatorships reign supreme. Personally, I find it hard not to see others as people who use civilization as a kind of camouflage, discreetly revealing their true situation—the situation they're not actually in—so that it's not obvious. It's all about carrying out a kind of colonization. Everyone is trying to colonize. I've encountered all sorts of monsters, but they're reserved for a certain cultural level, without considering that there are people, like me, who aren't interested in being confined there at all. I need to be civilized, and that's not something you simply are or act like; it's something you build through reflection on experience, which allows you to distance yourself from situations and then act through simplicity, which is precisely why it's complex. They're not opposites in any way; that's what being civilized is all about.

I'd like to express myself in a public forum, but I have a great fear of being lectured. I already tried it on a venting app, and everyone saw venting as a kind of structure one had to follow to express the situation. It's a bureaucratization, for God's sake, of feelings, of that way we conceive of them and that makes us feel expressed, relieved, for God's sake, and that's a fact that is described, again, for God's sake, not a protocol, and that's what many aspire to on the street. My boss aspired to that, and precisely because he didn't know those fundamental principles, that everything should be based on action, and not on provoking it, what led me to do was precisely to displace that force, so that it would be evident and I could denounce it. He hoped that at some point I would become careless due to stress, due to a proportional factor, when in fact that was always being recycled thanks to routines that allowed me to always be in contact with my experience. The factor he aspired to was based on fleeing from experience, something I didn't do; I saw it, I embraced it, I always had time for what I was doing, and that's precisely why trust was built in me, which isn't imposed or anything like that.

Many people don't understand this area because they initially base their modus operandi on a model of proportions, when everything stems from specific circumstances. This model of proportions, based on emotions, applies precisely to those who have remained within a group, and it is precisely this group that determines the existence of extremes, since the group is not about transcendence but about containment, and hence the phenomenon of proportion, due to a difference in normalities.

It's time we all started contributing, at the very least, hypotheses about life, in some way, sketching something out, whatever it may be. Personally, I don't know a single human being who remains stuck with it once they admit the matter is just a hypothesis. It seems to me that this tendency to remain stuck with it, and which, from what I've observed in many speeches, translates precisely into that imposition that leads to amplifying what happens to us, the facts. Many people still live in the desperate need to alter the course of events, by any means necessary, through all sorts of exploits, seeking at all costs to make everything according to their own standards; in other words, it's the very establishment of dictatorships. That's the spirit of my people, which rightly determines that it's not up to the task.

It pains me to make these criticisms, but I need to know who I stand with. I expected a population already under the protection of a constitutional apparatus from which to operate, rather than one that would be dominant behind the scenes. Understandably, my idealistic spirit is met with pity by everyone I know, since depending on it, according to them, is tantamount to accepting that someone could shatter me. Of course, they haven't hesitated to embrace this theory, which is undeniably useful and cyclical, in the sense that its application, through its versatility depending on the situation, does yield results. The constitutional apparatus of my people does not leave them defenseless in any way, but the people have not sought to influence its use according to the principles of nation-building; instead, it has served as a tool for camouflage. This is a topic I have already explored at length, so I don't want to delve further into it. I'm tired of encountering people who live nothing but exploiting appearances, seeking to solidify them in order to use them to their advantage, necessarily contributing to the impossibility of intimacy among those who make up the community. They contribute to a life lived on appearances, a permanent and highly praised theatrical performance, of course, making venturing out into the unknown for many a kind of suicide or a journey into a realm filled with monsters, like the sirens in their tragic form.

Many genuine relationships are being neglected. Survival is prioritized at all costs; in fact, that's what's encouraged: that everyone cope with what they already have, that those who can't cope are embraced, precisely keeping the individual from transcendence, submitting to it when it happens again, making justifications about frequency or things like that. Precisely preventing them from rising to the occasion. However, my question is: Who can I talk to about this in my social circle? No one. Everyone is focused on surviving the status quo, of course, because that's what they consider normal, and trying to do anything beyond that only brings them problems, thus limiting their own identity.

That's why some people are trapped in a living hell and can't escape. It had to be said, I had to say it.

I'm somewhat frightened by the events in my town; things aren't good. There are so many disasters, and I see a movement to support the needy, but I feel like I can't be a part of it. I certainly feel like a burden to the world in general, to everyone, and the worst part is that people see my spirit as normal. I tend to help with specific things, things no one else can, and that's how it's been so far. But when it comes to general issues, I don't appear strong, but rather weak, because I can't apply a strategy that works only for me and my specific situation; everything is based on nothing more than generalities.

Recently, while writing on Facebook, I was told that one of my posts was about an 18-year-old, so I feel like I'm reaching the right audience, the segment I want to reach, which is the adolescent one, because with younger people, literature is definitely a delicate matter. In connection with the above, I want to express that I want to contribute to the world in any way I can. Offering general solutions without considering specifics, solutions that don't fit perfectly—to put it somewhat fancifully—is something I can't do because I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm hurting someone. Besides, many of these general solutions become radically imposing, and I don't feel comfortable with them.

The girl I love right now is on her own, in a place in the world I have no access to whatsoever; in fact, she's blocked me from all sides. I feel like a complete animal because I only interact with her through what the office allows, and nothing more. I can't go any further than that, and it's not advisable either, because she's keeping her life from before me, even though we've connected. There are many details I have to consider. I like it, but I confess, here, that I'd rather not.

My boss is a real scoundrel, a shameless person who lives only to point out who's undermining him, not for any other reason than because he's completely out of touch with reality. He's someone you can't explain things to because he'll act according to his ideals; I just saw it firsthand. I feel like my life is very complicated, and I wish it were different. In fact, I don't even know what will happen now with the way we live where we do, because people are scared and are turning to experts for opinions on the events we're experiencing. But even so, all I see is an uncritical eagerness to seek opinions, a desire to have some kind of leader.

The solutions being implemented these days worry me, and it bothers me that I can't share them. I can't even message the girl I love through the office group chat, since it's only for work use. The whole environment is set up for her, providing her with guidelines to follow so she doesn't act clumsily, but always taking me into account. We both want this, but we have to consider that there's already a life built, a life constructed for certain relationships. So, all that remains is the space no one occupies: the space of the everyday, where mistakes are validated because, after all, we're dealing with people who aren't in the same group or who don't have a way of relating beyond the occasional stumble. I'd like to go further, but I can't, I shouldn't. I also have my own life, and I can't abandon it. What she has doesn't convince me to leave her, but at the same time, I feel I shouldn't because of the responsibility, because this is what I've been given. With my life and hers, we can do something; that is, there's a guarantee of care. But if it's just my life or just her, then no, because they are different paths in the face of something like the presence of the other, someone who attracts me.

I don't feel like I'm doing nothing, but I confess it's for the best. I'm not on the same wavelength as everyone else; everyone's in their own world, who knows if they're even connecting, I can't see it that way. I decided my life would be tailored to me, not according to some norm. That's why I can't count on relationships of any kind, because none of them are based on individuality, only on normality. All my life I've lived running from those who normalize; I never liked them. My father was that kind of person, and my mother even more so. That's why I can't have girlfriends, friends, or anything like that. That's why my dependence can never be based on connections, but rather on a direct embrace of the structural apparatus, which in theory should be independent of every individual, but in my town, it's not like that. My life has been a struggle for that apparatus, for it to prevail, above any notion of normality. From this I can draw a conclusion, perhaps a hasty one: People manage to socialize from a baseline of normality, and they grow closer and more distant according to the differences in their norms. I always have to be doing these tests.

I always have to be doing some form of sociology, or at least sketching out what's going on. I confess I like the field, for no other reason than to make observations about laws that can help me socialize, laws that govern above any notion of normality. So far, I've managed to create effective descriptions, but I don't know if they're applicable to every human being. It's not safe ground, and I have the grave fear of always overgeneralizing. It's my biggest nightmare. My nightmare is that someone will come along and break with everything I've done; I don't know what will happen to me if that happens. Fortunately, everything is fine, but that fear is always there. In part, it's my own projection, since I'm in different circumstances, and therefore I always manage to put myself above others. My goal is the absolute eradication of the normality on which everyone bases their lives, so that there are no advantages over me, in any way, but rather that I become a completely unknown entity to them. After all, many of those I've encountered aren't interested in leaving their normality. Fortunately, what I've done allows me to respect the worst-case scenario, which I believe is what all socialization should prepare for: the one who is a stranger and shares absolutely no sense of normalcy. It is there, I think, that the capacity of any social group to cope with life becomes evident.

The best thing I can do for my community, now that I think about it, is to be critical of the situation, since I never expected such a situation under this way of life. From this perspective, I am confronting all possible scenarios, of course, which will result in a range of general observations that allow me to establish my path toward the world in any of its possibilities. I think it's fair to say that I have succeeded. I don't feel good for those who need this kind of life and cannot live it; my situation has been a matter of luck, because the opportunity was available, but many get trapped in a social situation and don't know how to get out, they have no way out. Those are the people, especially, whom I support. They don't have to make it easy for me either; they're in trouble, and offering them any leniency would be forcing them.