Life Stories and Everyday Drama

Hello, thank you so much for reading this, I would really love to hear your opinion on this matter.

I have ocd, and I have been going to this therapist for almost 3 years now and I didn't really see an issue with them, they are very understanding and helpful. My parents when they first met the therapist, there was a little language barrier with my mother and the therapist, but they tried really hard to make this work. My father is the one who usually speaks to my therapist and till now there was no issue, well particularly from me, because it was going smoothly; my parents had this issue: That my therapist and I would have conversations and would not tell them anything what we discussed about, my therapist told me and them that the discussion(?)(I am sorry I am not sure what appropriate word I must use here) is confidential, my therapist explained my parents about my problems, my father understood the issues but I think he didn't like the fact that the improvement would take alot of time, but he did he his very best to support me and so did my mother and my elder sibling.....but they didn't really understand the severity of my ocd which really annoyed them and despite my therapist explaining it to them, they(my parents) would ask why? This was difficult for me because I was and still am having a hard time with my ocd. I failed 11th grade and did 12th grade in open schooling ( my parents didn't like it, but were very supportive, which was good for me). I passed 12th grade and somehow managed to get into an engineering college. My therapist advised us not to choose a difficult subject for my mental wellbeing. But no. I was doing fine in the first semester of college but by the end of it my mental health worsened and I lost all the mental strength I had to continue studying. I made it clear that this was difficult and I needed a year long break from college but my parents didn't want that. I told my concerns to my therapist who sort of agreed that I needed a semester's break, and explained this to my parents. They obviously didn't like the idea and assumed that my therapist put this 'break' mindset into my head and they weren't happy about it. I forced myself to continue college in 2nd semester but I really dreadful in the classes. So before my Lab exam I explained my mental health and difficulty in understanding and keeping up with college and I was mentally exhausted from my ocd. They didn't like it, things became chaotic to kinda to the point of physical and a lot of verbal abuse...I am not looking for empathy because I believe that I have my faults in here. In the heat of the moment my family said really heartbreaking things obviously but then started blaming my therapist for all of this situation, they said that my therapist brainwashed me into thinking certain things and how much I behave like an addict. A lot of bad things were said to and obviously I got affected by it. After a few days my family and my college teacher convinced me to finish the exams and now here I am suffering to even think something and at this point I am pretty sure my therapist was done with my parents shit and wouldn't really text me back when I needed their support... at one point I sent a long message telling my therapist how I didn't want to continue college being in this terrible state and I am not quitting on education! I saw a text from my dad's phone on a whim and turns out my therapist sent a whole screenshot of our conversation. I don't know what to do here everything is so unclear, I for some stupid reason checked my therapists reviews online didn't really find any negative reviews about them. I am confused here, my family dislikes my therapist and I don't know what to think of and am I wrong to assume that my therapist is not that great at all? Despite all the good things people said about her? What do I do????!!!!

I hate and despise most white ppl. They all suck. It is not because of your skin color. It’s your personality you are the most rude needy pushy bossy narcissistic selfish entitled poorly mannered ignorant disgusting😳🤮 stupid pathetic fake disingenuous trashy arrogant gutless spineless pieces of shit alive you are a pathetic excuse for humans beings there for most of you white ppl are pure garbage. Garbage that I’ll throw away in the trash and burn you alive. Fuck you! You all worthless pathetic pieces shit. I hate you all you’re the worst race that ever lived Fuck you🖕you all need a reality check or go fuck yourselves you stupid ass cunts

There were these girls I was rude to in fifth grade named Sadie and Molly (I will bring Molly up more later). Sadie is the most annoying hypocrite ever. We would get into fights all the time over the smallest things, and she would always say, 'Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore.' I had to talk her out of it every single day. After around three months, I got really annoyed and started being rude to her and other people. I also started ignoring Molly.At the beginning of sixth grade, I told Molly and Sadie I was truly sorry for being a jerk and wanted to start over. Molly said she forgave me, and we started hanging out again, though I don't really believe she actually forgave me. Because Sadie is such a hypocrite, she told everyone, including Molly, to stay far away from me.Molly and I would secretly talk to each other when Sadie wasn't looking. When Molly got caught, Sadie would guilt-trip her and get furious. It took half the year for the teachers to realize what was going on because Molly and I were afraid Sadie would spread rumors, or that the teachers would think we were overreacting. Soon, the Sadie drama died down, but Molly randomly started reminding me about how much of a jerk I was to her in fifth grade. She makes fun of me by calling me ugly, mocking my interests as 'cringe,' and insulting the way I talk. I have told her to stop multiple times, but she still won't. She is giving me lower self-esteem than Sadie ever did. I feel like I have to change my interests, personality, and looks just so she won't make fun of me.

as someone not noticed but hidden by everyone else. obsessing over everything seen , staring at someone wondering if there judging u or making rude comments in their head , chasing you around and hunting until found. the confidence you once had has now ran out like money. although u cant buy it back. legs bouncing , hitting the desks , not being abled to focus on ur school work . failing at everything because something or someone is constantly looking at u. the screams of people behind haunt ur back as ur ears scratch when hearing everyone talk . maybe even about you. when grouping together you fill invisible and not seen. the people u were friends with before now hate you. everyone there makes fun of u. its torture for ur brain, do u tell anyone..? no. its like being trapped in a room. to scared to tell ur parents or friends or teachers . people pushing you or whispering about you.. ur minding obsessing over the fact someone is staring at u and talking in ur face almost like its about you. the screams of there chats haunt ur soul . teachers say ur meant to be safe in a school , but what's safe about my life? and the life im living. no one will understand. I feel invisible but everyone else? I see them. all the time. my mind is always unfocused , my future? could be because of me. or others?

Hi. My wife and I (both female) will be married for 4 years this summer, together for 9. I have 2 kids from previous relationships, one has a lot of behavioral/learning disabilities. We had enough of our own issues as a couple. But then her mom asked to move in with us. She lived 4 hours away with her boyfriend. I had met her in person I think twice. And this conversation never happened early in our relationship. I had said that my child would likely need to live with me for a long time or forever. But never a mention of her mom. And personally. I was finally in a space I could call my own and do things the way I wanted to. So I really didn’t want her to move in. But she promised it would be temporary. Until she got a job and got on her feet. Maybe just a few months. Which then she asked for a year. And then she asked for her to just stay forever. This placed a big wedge in our marriage. We started couples therapy. Which didn’t help. She threw literal screaming tantrums any time I said how I was feeling and would storm out. She really started to show me how immature she was. Her mom ended up going back home after a month a half. Maybe a week after she went back. She all of a sudden got extremely sick and almost died. My wife was gone for 5 weeks to stay in the hospital with her mom. She left me. And the kids. And her job. For 5 weeks. I understand visiting. I understand feeling scared and sad. But she just up and left and we didn’t matter. When she came back and realized her mom was never going to be ok again. Needing to be on oxygen forever among many other things. She gave me an ultimatum. She said “please don’t make me choose between you and my mom”. It should never be a choice. There should be compromise. But she doesn’t know how to do that. And I should have walked away. But I didn’t. Bc I love her. Now 2 years later. My living room is a hospital room. Every decision that’s made is about her and her mom. I don’t matter. My voice doesn’t matter. No matter how nicely I try to talk to her about anything, she turns it into a fight. Her mom needs a lung transplant. That based on all of her medical conditions, she is very unlikely to be eligible. I feel like a 3rd party in my marriage. I feel like we’re just roommates living in a routine. There’s no. Anything. And I don’t even cry about it anymore. She sleeps most nights on the couch near her mom “in case something happens”. I keep thinking about how much happier. Or at peace. I would be, if I left. Not sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe someone who has gone through something similar. Tell me how I’m feeling is not crazy and selfish. Bc she calls me selfish quite a bit. I’m not allowed to have an opinion that’s different. Her mom came here and everything changed. House rules. The way we do things. It has to all be the way her mom says it’s should be. This is my house. That her mom moved into. Yes she contributes some from her disability checks. But we spend more than double each than her mom spends. And somehow she gets to tell us how to do things. Everything in this house I helped pay for. Not her mom. I didn’t move into her mom’s house. I hate feeling this way. I feel stuck. And sad. Idk. I guess that’s it. Thank you for reading.

what would you do? how would you feel?

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE OPINIONS THAT ARE HEAVILY CONTRAVERSIAL, AND IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC, I AM NOT SHAMING YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

religion is bullshit to me. it is just propaganda that men use to control women/slaves. for example, when the triangular trade was happening(slave trade) captains often recited the bible to the point that they made the slaves believe that if they disobeyed their master, they disobeyed god. it is a sick use of beliefs. also, the bible also have concerning and barbaric stories. why the fuck was it allowed that women are objects of rape.

the priests and people i know say they are Christian but their actions contradict them daily. not reading bibles, cursing, swearing on god's name, you know. furthermore, priests only visit the good parts of the bible, conveniently not looking at the bad parts.

another thing, in the bible, how the fuck did Adam and Eve make everyone. 1, that's heavy incest. 2, there are such a large gene pool, it is impossible to come from 2 people. back to the first point, incest is proven that is doesn't work because the Habsburg dynasty proved to be a horrible set. they had been inbreeding for 200 years, and all suffered intellectual and physical disabilitie-btw the Habsburg dynasty is super fascinating to me.

ALSO!! Evolution. i can prove evolution off of many things, but let me start here. humans have tailbones for a reason. THERE USED TO BE A TAIL. BECAYSE WE EVOLVED FROM APES. not because a pair of people magically spawned.

thanks for reading. just to reiterate, i have nothing against christians, love yall so much, but it just doesnt make sense to me, and i needed somewhere to not be immediately judged w/o hearing me out. LOVE YALLLL!!

-Cara

This isn't related to mental health but dose anyone suffer with knee pain and find it gets worse in the cold weather but in hot weather it also seems to get worse or is it just me.

And that you cand go for a period of time without expirencing pain this could be weeks or months.

I also don't have a definite course for my knee pain yet as I had a MRI done one nothing come back on it that it good but it has left me with more questions of why and I having pain in my knees but side note the pain mainly affects my right knee and I get the pain on other side of the knee cap behind and the knee

and to my knowledge I haven't injured it.

I'm and also waiting on a referal for physio for my knees . to hopefully strengthen my right knee as that knee is unstable at times.

Numbness...I feel yet I can't feel, it's like everything is eating away at me and I can only watch as it happens...my body cannot muster up the energy to try to stop it from happening, stop the thoughts from filling my head with lies, stop the tears pooling in my eyes, stop my heart from racing almost as though I've run a marathon...old reminders and ideas keep cycling back, telling me it's time or convincing me to go back...back to the darkness, back to the pain, back to the emptiness, and as each minute passes I realise I'm starting to believe those thoughts telling me I'm the problem....telling me I am nothing but a toxic gas, and that scares me, because I once felt like this...when the darkness practically consumed me...its a nostalgic feeling I wish did not exist, yet it does.

I feel yet I can't feel, and that's what's killing me.

I've been down for a bit but who are you even supposed to talk to about this, don't wanna be sent to a mental hospital. I'm not really sad, just dull about everything so planning my suicide doesn't feel like this sad thing anymore. I now know a way to kill myself. I had a good sleep, first time in a while. I wish I wasn't mentally ill tho. I've accepted that I've been feeling dull at least. I don't really care if I die, I wish I could. I don't know how people look at this long and terrible life and wanna live and do things, I don't wanna do anything. I don't even feel anything for my accomplishments, my diploma is just on the floor and something about college. My parents don't make this easier, they're bad people. I'd most likely still be depressed even if I move away or complete whatever goal. I've been learning a new language and still workout/dance, weighing 116 so at least I've been slowly completing appearance goals. Guess that's it for now.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day.

as of lately ive wanted to just have something horrible happen to me for some sort of validation. im kinda in the middle ground between normal and weird-- i feel too negative to have a normal mindset but im not negative enough to be worried about. i can easily ignore whatever issues i have if i distract myself. do i sound attention seeking if i wish for bad situations to occur to me daily?

been talking to someone for a couple months we both expressed we like each other but agreed to not date for the time being bc of outside things which isn’t the main issue just to give some context. We both like this artist and they suggested we meet up before or after said artists concert since one of the venues is near both of us. I really want to go but i’m also very hesitant I have ptsd and anxiety from stuff when i was younger/teenager and it heavily contributes to social situations and I’m not the best talker I tend to shut down and just listen to people unless I find something(if anything) to say. I also don’t want to embarrass them bc they’re bringing their friends along. Idk I need some help.

I struggle a lot with connection. I cant tell if people actually like me or are just pretending so I always assume a social suituation is going badly. Then I can avoid being surprised if it goes downhill.

I want freinds where everyone is comfortable with casual touches, leaning against each other, hugs, shoulder pats. But I dont know how to initiate that, most of my family are extremely touch and emotionally adverse. And while my dad is more affectionate he often doesnt register boundaries or other people's emotions.

Mum once told me that with the way she raised me I was either going to end up completely desperate for touch or completely touch adverse. She said she was happy that I was touch adverse like her... I probably should have corrected her.

Im stuck in a cycle of craving platonic intimacy but not being able to achieve it. The brief touches I get never feel like enough but I dont feel safe asking up front.

I know that a romantic relationship would probably solve my problem but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship at the moment. Theres been several times ive met guys who at 1st seem like they could be freinds but then they get too handsy and ignore boundaries I put up. Recently I had to leave a freinds party because a guy kept following me round and grabbing me by the wrist when I'd told him no. My skin felt like it was burning for hours after.

Touch can so quickly go from being amazing to being horrific as soon as I think the other person wont listen if I told them no.

Everything else in my life is great, im working towards my dream job, and ive definetly improved over the last few years. Its just such a constant want.

Current plan is to get a pet as soon as I can reasonably provide for one. It wont be exactly what I need but it'll hopefully help in some way.

Hug your freinds a bit closer today please.

i love my boyfriend and that is kind of the problem, because it makes everything else more confusing than it should be. he is good to me in most normal ways. he answers my texts, he remembers small stuff, he helps me when i am stressed, and he is not some awful guy i am trying to escape from. so when i say i am not sexually satisfied, it sounds mean, like i am reducing him to one thing, but i am not trying to do that. it is just there, sitting in the room with us, even when we are eating dinner or watching tv. i do not feel wanted in the way i thought i would feel in a relationship. he says he loves me, and i believe him, but his body and his effort do not really show it much. sometimes it feels like he wants the comfort of having me around more than he wants me as a person with needs. maybe that is dramatic, maybe it is not. i have tried bringing it up without making it sound like an attack, but every time it gets weird. he gets quiet or says he is tired or says relationships are not supposed to be all about that. and sure, they are not. i agree with that. but are they supposed to have almost no passion either. am i wrong for thinking this matters. i keep asking myself that because i know people have real problems and this can sound shallow. but when you are the one laying there feeling unwanted, it does not feel shallow, it feels lonely in a very specific way.

the bad part is i do not want to leave him over this, but i also do not want to spend years pretending i am fine. i catch myself avoiding the topic now because i already know how the talk will go. he will act like i am putting pressure on him, i will feel guilty, and then nothing changes. that is the pattern. i do not even know if the issue is attraction, stress, laziness, mismatch, or just us being wrong in that one area. it is not like i need some perfect movie thing. i just want to feel like there is some desire and some care and not like i am asking for a favor. i have started feeling embarrassed for wanting more, which is probably not a good sign. i also feel bad because he is not cruel, and i know if i told people they would say to communicate, but i did, or i tried. communication is not magic when the other person hears it but does not really do anything. i guess i am writing this because i need to see it outside my head. i love him, but love is not filling the part that feels empty. maybe that makes me selfish, or maybe it just makes me honest. i do not know what the reasonable answer is here. do you stay with someone who is kind and safe but makes you feel unwanted in bed, or is that just slowly turning yourself into a bitter person. i am scared that if i stay, i will resent him. i am scared that if i go, i will regret leaving someone good for something people tell me is not everything. both things sound true, and that is what is making me feel stuck.

I was born male and began to transition in 2022, my partner who was also transitioning at the time began to help me after I moved in with them, (hormones and such) but a bit after I started they started to have trouble dealing with the ways I was changing (my body, mind all that good stuff) and we ended up taking a break for a bit.

We came back together but I started to forget about taking my pills and eventually I might has well have detransitioned, I tried to talk to them at one point about thinking about it again (just thinking not even planning on anything) and that came with being told that they dont like women.

My partner never told me to stop taking my pills maybe I just did it myself because of the problems it caused. They stopped theyre transition too but now im left not knowing who I am, I have horrible anxiety and depression, compulsively pick and pull my hair, I get impulsive thoughts im embarrassed to talk about, I just feel messed up.

This is a question to ally fellow adhders

about adhd burnout.

in social situations do you find the you fake a smile in conversations and push yourself to seem "Normal " or is it just me that does this when I'm exspirenceing Adhd bournoit?