Life Stories and Everyday Drama

In February my hyper mobile joints in my shoulders decided to give out. Just looking at me, you could tell my shoulders were in the wrong positions. I felt them slip in and out of my socket. until about 4 weeks ago I couldn’t bathe, dress, feed, or go to the bathroom with out my husband doing it for me. For most of that time even the most light touch on my skin was like searing pain. I shaved my head so that I could wash my hair by myself, and sleep comfortably with out it being stuck behind me in places I could not reach. Im a woman. It crushed me to have to do that. I look good, but I’m devasted I had to under these conditions.

I have other chronic conditions that are manageable at home, as a SAHW and then a SAHM. I had bad days, but mostly great days. Until this happened.

Ive started having seizures, I’ve been told it’s probably a mental issue. Stress, anxiety. It hospitalized me before I was given that hunch if answer. Because of how shitty the medical system is, I won’t be able to see neurology until July to get a confirmation on what the hell this is. The events have gone down since my mental health medications have been changed drastically.

And the medical system has shit all over me:

-The only ER for 45 miles has given me intense medical trauma. From dismissing me and sending me home with rude, snide comments about not coming in for this situation. To talking over me purposefully to write down incorrect information on my intake paper work (my husband had to intervene because I was having SEIZURES while this man talked down to me). The same man was going to give me a sedative shot with out telling anyone what he was doing. My primary sent me to that ER urgently for potential cerebral meningitis, insisting I need the spinal tap to be tested, I had the symptoms. The ER refused to test me. That visit they gave me something called a “purewick” incorrectly, TWICE. It’s to vacuum suck away your urine quickly and cleanly when you can’t get up to the bathroom. The first time, the male nurse did it quickly, half assed, and incorrectly. I ended up peeing all over myself. Then it was disconnected to take me for a CT scan. When I was brought back to my room, the tech handed me the purewick back to me, urine side into my barehand, so that I could place it back myself. It went even worse than before. I sat in my own urine for hours, while also being talked down to about needing to use the call button when my symptoms got worse.

-when I was having so many seizures in a row that I couldn’t make it to the car to go the hospital from my 3rd story apartment, we had to call 911. My husband asked dispatch if the EMS could take me to any other hospital besides the one who fucked me up. They said yes. EMS came, talked shit about my room in front of me, refused to let my husband in the room with me (I had been laying in the floor to be in the safest position for seizures, I couldn’t walk to him), and refused to take me to any other hospital. I burst into tears and they ripped into me about it. They took me down the stairs in a stair-wheelchair and my husband had to drive me to a different hospital.

We are trying to get a government funded childcare program to pay for daycare for our toddlers, so that my husband can get a job and be able ti support us again. Since I can’t take care of the kids myself, this is the only way to make it work. The program accepted us, then swiftly denied us, claiming they needed a letter from my physician that I can’t take care of my kids at all. Getting the letter was a fight in and of itself, the family medicine office was refusing to write it themselves, even though the program insisted it had to be from them. Eventually I got the letter. The program said the letter was not enough, because it didn’t use the exact words “cannot take care of her children at all”. And now the dr’s office is flat out refusing to write the letter. They insist I need to go to occupational therapy to get them to write it. The original OT office refused to write it. The dr’s office didn’t believe me when I told them. I had to get the OT to call them directly. I was then referred somewhere else. The same hospital that traumatized me above.

I tried to care for my kids yesterday, to test the waters to see if I could potentially do it for a few days until this is sorted. My shoulders have gotten better enough for me to do plenty of things for myself. I was determined to try. My husband was home, it was only an hour and a half. My shoulders continued to quickly pop in and out of place, and it knocked me off my feet quickly. I woke up today in even worse pain than yesterday, weak. I stood up at one point this morning, stumbled, and accidentally knocked over my youngest in the process. She’s fine, this time.

I’m so angry. I’m so angry at my body. Im so angry at the systems and programs meant to help. I’m tired of feeling awful all the time.

Thanks for reading <3

Im 8 months pregnant and since then I have always been feeling like my husband is cheating on me. I wanted to talk to him about it but why then it feels like it wont change anything? I wanted to confront him but then whenever it crosses my mind it feels like I will just be wasting my time bec. I cant ask him to be faithful and loyal if in the first place he is really not that kind of person? He may be married to me but it feels like it is not me to whom he will be contented...

Now conspiracy’s are conspiracy’s facts are facts we all know evil exists denying the fact so many children just children forget the religions are being burned alive killed these are godless acts from godless people if that’s what u want to call them. They’re not from a particular god fearing religion but a godless congregation of evil ppl using segregation of race religion and their powers being these ppl being able to influence the thoughts of so many is scary in itself how mindless as a whole ppl are.to know regardless of this reptilian agendas and aliens and emerald tablets and nephlim giants wich is in the bible as well as other religious books it’s just astonishing to know how closed minded to common sense ppl have become they unite ppl when they feel it will bring numbers segregate when it gives a prosperous resolution for “them” to do so to at this point blame the government the religious leaders the aliens but their is a a common numeral to this and it is 80% of the population doesn’t think for themselves when 100% know what’s good and what’s bad and trust me won’t be quiet to preach to one another about it. Ppl need to wake up genocide happend according to American history to Jews?… well some don’t believe it’s true well now who does who doesn’t matter but truth is genocide is happening again and their is nothing making it right now to do it it was wrong then this is hypocrisy at the highest peak. Like I don’t kill dogs but I’ll kill brown dogs. I’m that makes sense cuz brown dogs aren’t worth it like this is straight mind fucked lunacy. Evil has completely taken over and if judgement day doesn’t come because of the wrong no matter how anyone try’s to turn it around they allowed it. If end days come it will come for this god will come for this and I’m scared but I know how much pain is there and times it by a200million suffering past present continuous because I know what’s happened to Jesus the prophets the messengers call them as you please was wrong time and time again chances were given but as a whole of humanity I am so disgusted in us only god can save us and have mercy on our souls because we haven’t left anything to show for the life the love the good he constantly gave us only sat complained because of this and that all I care is I’m standing on the right side of this I don’t care what happens to me at this point this is beyond return and I don’t need a fortune teller to tell me the end is near the end could have been near had we been strong god would be coming down for a much better reason than judgement everyone that keeps sticking their foreheads in the news commenting on their YouTube’s watching videos. Shut up and send a prayer for a change of heart in man’s soul to stop the evil from seeping through everyone’s heart for the defeat of this evil and the ppl and things that caused them ask for forgiveness. I just can’t tell you I don’t even use my phone anymore or watch the news there’s barely anything left good I just want to keep my loved ones and live with them as happily and let them know how much I love them and they mean to me every day till the end and if I can ever come across a way to curing this hell brought upon our lives I will stop at nothing … and as I typed this the answer came to me … I hope the answer comes to you after reading this exactly what it is we have to do.

Im a homeschooled 14yo girl and where i live homeschoolers have to have yearly testing, so my mom and younger brother all went and after testing both me and my brother did good but i had done better saying i went up 4 grades in 2 things from the year prior and both things my mom had not worked on with at all and everything else i also went up in. My brother went up a max of 2 grades basically on everything which was still good but kinda normal. I was super excited and proud of my good grades that i got on the test and was super excited to get praise for it (i dont get very good grades usually so i feel like a dumbass but knowing i did good i finally felt smart for once.) So we go in the car to go home and my brother just keeps talking about how proud of his decent grade he was and my mom was praising and saying how good he did. She said none of which to me. Not even a "good job" so while they were talking about how on spelling they havent worked on at all this year yet he still did good i said "oh yeah didnt i go up 4 grades in spelling? And creative writting?" (Both we havent worked on at all this year.) She said "yeah you did. It was probably from the German weve been doing." The only reason i had said that was to get her attention and for her to say "you did a good job" or some shit but i got jack shit while my brother got non stop praise. For once i was proud of my grade and she didnt say shit. Sorry if im being drammatic but this mixed with them fucking neglecting me cause my other siblings have problems pissed me off beyond belief. Again i probably sound like a baby complaining about this im sorry but its been pissing ,e off and i have no one to vent to also sorry its so long.

it's been really tough trying to figure out the right words to comfort my best friend when she's having a panic attack and the hardest part is that we're so far away from each other, sometimes I feel like I'm failing at being a good friend because I don't know if my messages actually help, and it's not like there's a universal script for this, you know? I always wonder whether I'm saying the right things, like, is there even such a thing as the "right thing" when it comes to text messaging during a panic attack? I've read somewhere that it's good to remind them to focus on their breathing, but isn't that kind of obvious? like, maybe they're already trying that but it just doesn't work; I've tried saying things like "remember to breathe" or "try to take deep breaths" but I can't help but feel it's too cliche; Is it really that simple? then there's the whole grounding technique thing, you know, the one where you tell them to list things they can see, hear, and touch, but does it make a difference when you're just typing it out and not there in person to guide them through it? I'm always worried about saying something that might make it worse, like what if I suggest that and it just frustrates her more?

so usually I fall back on letting her know I'm there for her, but I wonder if just saying "I'm here for you" really counts when I'm miles away behind a screen; it's just that none of the words seem to carry enough weight through my phone; someone once told me to remind her that it's temporary, but how can I convince her of that when I'm not even sure myself? I wish I knew what really goes on through her mind in those moments so I could be more helpful, I guess in a way I'm venting about my inability to truly help her through a panic attack via text; I want so desperately to be her anchor in those moments and I guess that's why I try to read more about it, like Reddit's subreddit on mental health or even some articles on psychology websites but nothing seems to fill in that gap of actually knowing what to do; it's always just theories and suggestions, and it's frustrating trying to apply generic advice to someone so unique like her; am I overthinking this, or is messaging just inherently a lacking form of comfort? I think about how much I want to be better at this, more equipped, but maybe I'm focusing too much on knowing exactly what to say and not enough on just being a presence, however virtual it may be; the logical part of me says to keep expressing empathy and validation, that at least those are probably neutral if not helpful, but I can't shake the feeling of inadequacy; like, is there anyone else out there who feels the pressure to always find the perfect words in an imperfect situation? the self-doubt is kind of paralyzing in its own right, makes me wonder if she's ever felt like this too during her anxiety; is it the same sort of paralysis that overcomes her? if I'm being totally honest, there are days when I wish I could just call her battles for what they are (complex and unpredictable) rather than trying to mold them into something understandable; does that make me a bad friend for not "doing my best"? I don't want her to feel unseen or unsupported because of my remote presence; I often think back to the groundwork of friendship, like reliability and listening, but does it all lose its importance over text? what do you think, is there a different framework for dealing with this distance, something more tangible that could provide solace? maybe next time, I'll ask her directly what she wants me to say, although that feels a bit like passing the responsibility; does anyone else struggle with these doubts? sometimes I just wish for a little more clarity in this friendship because supporting someone through a screen is so messy and uncertain; all this has been on my mind a lot lately, and maybe it shows just how deeply I care, even if I haven’t found the right method yet; but still, I keep questioning if her panic attacks ever 'get easier' for her.

With my mom I don't feel seen, I don't feel heard, I just want it to end. I can't stand this pain, no one gets it, I'm so ready to end it, she doesn't care, I know she doesn't. I want to cry but that doesn't help, I want to scream but I can't, I need a rage room but that didn't help, I want the pain to go away, I want it to stop, to leave me alone, but deep down, I know it won't, It'll keep coming back, it won't stop, it keeps coming and coming and I'm so tired. Nobody is really there for me, because people have their own lives. I just want someone that I can cry into, that will hold me, and I don't have that. And that's my problem. I need that, but inside I know I won't get it. And it sucks, It sucks not feeling safe enough to show feelings without getting yelled at. I'm so tired. I just want it to end. I want it to be over. I want someone to love me. I want to be someone's first priority. not second, not third, first. And I cry myself to sleep, knowing that'll never happen. I'm empty

I graduate hs next year and career paths I’ve seriously got nothing.. not even career just some way to make money to survive. Like with what people are saying about the job market wonder how it will be when I start actually looking for one. Ok I just want to complain about all these requirements bro volunteering, so many years of experience. Like ok fine we need jobs etc. but all this stress in just getting one. Bro. I personally would say I’m into creative stuff, arts etc. about last year ive been trying to get into graphic design. Lwk I was thinking of possibly doing them as my way of making money, business/career/wtv but i saw something like you kinda tie your self worth into how much money you make and that can be not very good for your mental health. And I genuinely understand I’m trying to make my designs really good and worth a possible commission n it stresses me out. But when I do it for fun (which was prob about 12 hrs ago) it was enjoyable. Same with art. Rn I’m making a comic not to make money or anything but bc I want to + love the characters and it’s been so fun!! Well a little stressed about making my drawings look good yk? So yh I understand when I see ‘don’t make you hobbies your job’ but then what? I want to move out of my parents house as soon as I can. But when will that be? I started thinking about jobs that people will need no matter what, food production, healthcare, n I’m assuming u gonna need some degree for it, n don’t get me started on those bro. So no I won’t. But I’ve always heard the phrase money = solving problems, so what problem do needs solving? But how can that work. Like with the creative stuff I was planning like I could potentially give myself an opportunity not hsve to wait around for some company to call back. So how will that work w whst people actually need bc theres prob a bunch? Ughh this is genuinely so tiring. This show will I believe my last summer where I’m still in mandatory school next summer I’m free(but of course post secondary) I’m nervous but also excited about that but idk man. Well this is lek just a rant

man, i’m 29 years old, and you’d think by now i’d have figured out how to handle my emotions like a pro. but nooooo, here i am with the emotional capacity of a teenage soap opera character. one minute i'm just doing my thang, y’know, cleaning the apartment like some unpaid maid, 'cause for real, my boyfriend is no help whatsoever. the dude’s living in a parallel universe where dishes clean themselves and laundry folds itself magically.🙄 and when i get mad, do i calmly rationalize and use my words? hell no! instead, my eyes well up with tears like i’m cutting onions. it's like my tear ducts are on autopilot the moment i feel even a smidge pissed off.

it’s like, come on girl, what’s wrong with me? i wanna scream at the top of my lungs like “yo dude, pick up a mop once in a while, yeah? it's not rocket science!” but instead my voice chokes, and i’m wiping my cheeks with my sleeves. 🤦‍♀️ it's like i need a tactical debrief before i can discuss anything serious. i’ve googled it a million times: “why do i cry when i get mad?” and it seems i’m not alone with this emotional malfunction. i read somewhere that it's 'cause of frustration or something...my body just doesn’t know how to handle it and my brain’s like, "yeah let’s add some tears, it'll make it even more dramatic." people say you're supposed to breathe deeply and count to ten, but ain't nobody got time for that when you’re neck-deep in dirty dishes.

seriously tho, why does my emotional system double-cross me? maybe it's because as a kid every argument ended with me in tears, so now it's just, like, ingrained or some sh*t? i try having civil convos with my boyfriend, but there i am, puddle of tears again. my emotional intelligence needs a user manual, someone help a girl out! how do people, like, confront without Niagara Falls happening on their face? i’m trapped in a cycle and it's like, what's the point even, if i just end up apologizing for the waterworks rather than fixing the problem? someone drop me some wisdom bombs here... has crying ever got ya out of doing chores? 🤔 'cause if it hasn’t, then maybe i need a new strategy.....

I’m 53 now, and I still remember the day I found out like it was yesterday, even though it was 20 years ago. My husband cheated on me, and I found out in the most boring, stupid way possible, a phone bill left on the kitchen counter. No dramatic lipstick on a collar, no movie scene. Just numbers I didn’t know and a weird feeling in my stomach that would not go away. I asked him, and he tried to dodge it at first, then he cried. I cried harder. Back then I thought cheating meant the marriage was instantly dead, like someone had shut off the lights forever.

For a long time, I didn’t forgive him. I stayed in the house, cooked dinner, drove the kids to school, smiled at neighbors, and hated him quietly. I felt stupid for staying;

But life is not always as clean as people on the outside want it to be. We had two children, a mortgage, and 15 years of history at that point. I loved him, even when I wanted to throw his clothes in the street. What helped me was not pretending it was fine. We went to counseling. He gave me passwords, answered ugly questions, and took my anger without acting like he was the victim. That mattered.

Forgiveness, in my opinion, is not saying “what you did was okay.” It is more like saying, “I don’t want this pain to own me forever.” I forgave him slowly, almost by accident. One morning he brought me coffee before I woke up, like he used to. Another time he sat with me in the car while I cried after dropping our daughter at college. Little by little, I saw he was trying to be a better man, not just a man who got caught. Have you ever wanted to forgive someone but felt like doing it meant betraying yourself?

Today we are still married. Not perfect, not some magical love story, but real. He knows he broke something that never went back exactly the same, and I know I became stronger than I thought I could be. I don’t think everyone should stay after cheating. Sometimes leaving is the healthiest forgiveness you can give yourself. But for me, forgiveness was possible because he changed, and because I chose peace over carrying poison in my chest. At 53, I can say my heart healed. It has scars, sure, but scars are also proof you survived.

I just feel stuck, I feel like I'm not taking control of my life and I'm shaming myself for it which doesn't help but I also feel too lazy to even take control of my life. When I mean take control, I mean I need to stop doing whatever for my parents to keep the peace because it doesn't help me at all, feels like I'm just slowly dying and not fulfilling anything lately. I don't have anyone to talk to, I did try to make friends online but I haven't met anyone that I would consider a friend friend. Plus after a day or even days, I have a hard habit of assuming that people secretly hate me and have no interest so I try and end it. I didn't know this still alive until I noticed I did it again.

I was finally able to get a doctor but I didn't get to talk about how I'm feeling and that I need a therapist, that I'm trans. I actually found out a feminist clinic that caters but idk how I didn't find it before with the amount of searching I did before.

I'm just confused about my emotions, I feel fine and happy sometimes but I also have a bunch of stuff, it just lurks, what I mean is parents that don't like queer people, next steps. It's a reason I'm in no rush, when I feel happy or fine then I assume that I am and then feel overdramatic for trying to get ready to get away from my family as quick as possible.

My parents are toxic people yet feel normal sometimes and if you're feeling and having good times with them, then next you involve your feelings then it's gonna hurt you. When I noticed this when I was younger, I detached to all the interactions because I knew they'll be nice but eventually they'll make you cry over something stupid, make you feel unloved. I don't know how to describe what it's like to live in a house where everything feels normal and you start to feel normal and forget that it's actually not because the people inside the home don't know you and if they ever did then they would hate you. When it's been years, you just forget, they'll keep addressing you how they wanna address you and dress you up how they wanna dress you up and then get angry at you for not enjoying it, and the whole time you'll just feel like your dying. You don't notice until it happens again.

I notice I go through that cycle. I watched the film "I saw the TV glow" at 16 and I watched it again recently. It does fill me with dread and it reminds me that I'm not even living and not even as me.

I have things or goals I could do but I don't, I don't even feel any way about them, I just know they'll be helpful. Driving for example. I just wish I could go back to where I was happy and pretty content with life.

I graduate high school next week, family is doing this big thing. I seen that one of my favorite bands is actually going to the place I'll be around the same time, I wish I could go to that instead. I'm in desperate need of the type of music they make.

Anywho, thanks to anyone who read this and have a great thing! 💖 Anything is appreciated.

so i have this friend and shes constnatly talks about either our mututal (her best friend) flower in a semi romantic/plationic way (they got some platonic romance going on idk they're pretty much lesbians togehter) and jaes constantly talking about flower or saying how she misses her or how she wants her to join and will shape everything around her. ALSO, MORE COMMONGLY, she will do the same but for some fictional fucking ANIME GIRL shes UNIRONCIALLY (AND I MEAN THIS SERIOUSLY) FUCKING OBESSED WITH. "I MISS KOHANE" "I LOVE KOHANE" "I LOVE BLONDES (kohanes a blonde)" "KOHANE KOHANE KOHANE KOHANE". if me and my group are talking about something SHE WILL RANDOMLY COM IN AND BE LIKE "I LOVE KOHANE" OR "I LIKE BLONDES" OR "IM A LESBIAN" AND SHE DOES THIS EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. WITHOUT A SINGLE HIT OF A FAIL, IM TELLING YOU EVERY DAY EVERY FUCKING DAY. AND SHE WHATS WORSE, WHEN IM DOING SOMETHING WITH HER OR PLANNING SOMETHING WITH HER TO DO SHE WILL LITERALLY CANCEL IT, JUST TO HANG OUT WITH FLOWER, SHE'S DONE THIS MULITPLE TIMES "sorry me and flower jsut haven't been able to play alot recently!"(genuine paraprashed qoute from her) and I FEEL LIKE I CANT SAY ANYTHING BAOUT IT BECAUSE I CANT TELL IF IM JUST BEING JEALOUS OR IF ITS A REAL PROBLEM BECAUSE I DO FEEL JEALOUS AND INSECURE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ALOT OF CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS ANYMORE AND SEEING IT REALLY IRCKKS THE HELL OUT OF ME, ITS NOT EVEN THE FACT SHES OBESSED WITH FLOWER, I LIKE FLOWER TOO AS A FRIEN BUT ITS THE FACT SHE ALWAYS FUCKING CHOOSES HER OVER ANYONE ELSE ESPECIALLY ME AND IT REALLY MAKES ME UPSET AND THINK WHATS THE FUCKING POINT IN TRYING IF I'LL ALWAYS BE TE LAST FUCKING PICK. oh and i forgot to mention, her and flower WHILE acting super lovey dovey and gay with each other will joke around and make fun of me which im not too against because i guess its the groupchat humor to make fun of me i guess and i do it myself sometimes but still

Tayout htal br twe sin sr pee bar twe shout loke nay lal tot ma thi bu

D mr Takhin ka nay ma kg twe kana kana ayn fyit x ma ya sr ma win nk tayout tl eye twe nervous system twe ll ma kg gaun twe kite fit nay dr. Bkk mr tal ka nay ma kg bu. amhan tot tagl kway thr takhin ko ae tl ka chit tl so amyal pyat tanar shr pee Nay ma kg tae lu ko balo gru site pay ya ma ll ma sin sr bal pyat tanr pal shr pee myo sone yan loke ma nay bu.

Aku ll bal aelo bal ko br ko nay kg ag loke nay dae Takhin ko ma kg htin pee

Br ma ll kway takhin yae amaint lite nr or u pyw tlo fish fyit ma nay bu.

Fyit nay yin Takhin ko block pee pyat tanr ma shr bu

Nay nal nal kg lo pyn lr pee phone use nine tae akhr kya

Gru sike pee pyu su pay mr kway lain mr thr so

Aku tot koh br ko ma kg tae sate nak ma kg myin pyit mhr

Zoom lr kae pr pyw dr ll ma lr nk

Ayn mite yine nay dr

P tot me ka pal manipulate ya dl fyit thy

Kway bal takhim ko anine u anine kyint pee page nk kine pee blackmail loke lite

Block lite nk

Br punishment khn fo ma pyw nk

Order twe rule twe lite nr dal so tr d 3 years atwin lat choe yii lo ya dl obey 100% day so tr 10 days ma shi bu

Ae dr ko apo saga twe nk lrr pee manipulate lr loke nay dr Kway bat ka

D mr koh br ko tg anine nine fit nay dr not ok

ae dr ko atin lite force pee gru ma sike bu br fyit dl nae sutt swal LOL

Ae sa tl ka amhn tine pyw pee thr

I am sick since back then ma lo koh health ko gru site ya ml

bay mr nay chin yin kway lain mr loke so u said u will care for me and my health first

gru ma sike ll ya dl

kway serve ya yin tw p so pee nay kae dr

pee tot if you were honests with your words and fllowed with true obedieence aku nay kg nay tr kyr hla b

Aku tot tamin nay ma kg ag sate sin yell ag lite loke htr pee

Amyal pyt tnar shr anine u nay dr lite pee

Akyint ma kg tae kg ma g fit nay dr Kway ko tine

Not me

Me just wanna be recover my own health

Thats all bal

But kway try to learn my weakness and try to use them to force me to get what you want

Your mind htl bar shi ll ma thi yin kat mal

Btw this letter doesnt mean I want someone like you back NO I dont want you at all

Not the one who doesnt care about me, what's wrong with me or how to make me happy

For you, my reply or controlling me is more important than trying to make me happy or care about my health since day one in Bangkok

You tried to gaslight me and suggest me to be afraid of you, did you think I never knew that?

As my own slave who said she will be slave, you were the manipulative one in every scenario

I was very honest with my intentions from the beginning, I never manipulated you, it was you who said one thing (to be slave), and do other things (disobey and make me hurt and blackmail me with my business page works).

These days also, you blocked me and I never did anything to you excpet telling you to unblock me LOL. And you told me I was manipulating you. really? Bitch are you out of your mind and stupid? No you are not. You are just gaslighting me and trying to create a nonexistent reality where I did things to you(which I never did) and you never truly obeyed me in any day. For FUCK SAKE ! so fuck you and your stupid deluisions. You can fuck off yourself. Actually started writing this letter with the inetntions to explain you something but nah when writing this I eventually realized I did nothing wrogn lol. There is not even a single thing to explain except I was fucking sick and there's no fucking wrong for being sick and not okay so what? I never did anything to anyone from the first place. It was you who didnt care and blocked me intentionally. And didnt accept when I told you to umblock me. I never did anything or say anything to you during these days even. HAHA. What a braindead idiot you are. Living in your imaginary reality must be widly stupid for you. Bye or whatever. idk anymore. Do whatever you want I am done with you. I dont need dishonest manipulative people like you in my life. Never again.

That was your last chance. I will never be sad or hurt for someone like you who dont care or understand me despite how many years I waited and given you countless chances for you to do so. You are uselss and pathetically stupid and out of your hand with your cunning stupidity. I do not love you or hate you but I was bewildered by your stupidity for a second when I realized I never did anything to you from the first place except getting blocked by someone stupid like you for no reason. FUCK OFF

I am a 2nd sem student and right now I want to know if I should continue engineering or not. To give give you some context I did my 12th in open schooling due to terrible mental health issues and therefore I was at home and didn't really interact with people outside. Fortunately I somehow managed to pass the exams and then I got in to this college(through CET). In my 1st sem I tried really hard to control my mental health and tried getting along with this new system. I tried doing my best to socialize and study. My parents are veryy very supportive and I seek help from therapy and have been heavily medicated (which makes me seem tired and sleepy all the time). During the first few weeks of 1st sem, there was some misunderstandings with someone and I reacted too harsh by shrieking in front of the class. After that no one would sit next to nor talk to me. It seemed like they were afraid of me (according to my teachers). There were some who were kind enough to share notes with me but I noticed that they did because they were afraid of me. I struggled throughout the classes with my mental health deteriorating and it made things worse. During lab I was a mess, I would feel anxious like a LOT and my hands would tremble. This made me seem incapable of doing anything which made my classmates to dread working with me and teachers were too annoyed with my incompetence. I tried working even hard but it only worsened my mental health. I explained the teachers my situation, they were understanding but for how long? during my 1st sem finals I was a chaotic mess, I was unable to focus on studies because of my mental health. I managed to pass 1st but with 3 backlogs, it isn't the best but this was something I could manage doing at least. I wanted to take an year off from college but my parents didn't like the idea. I told my therapist, who suggested me to change courses, but I am too scared to do that because my parents are really keeping their hopes up. 2nd sem started, and by now everyone knew each other and were interacting with each other, I was the only one in class who didn't really have anyone to sit next to me in class. It was obvious. Sometimes I think that this is just me being too dramatic about everything but I often see that my classmates make faces and avoid sitting next to me, it almost feels like there's something REALLY wrong with me. Honestly, I cannot keep up with such an environment and pretend that everything is okay. I now dread a lot going to college and hate doing the homework. I'm being kicked out of the class for not finishing my work. I really really want some advice right now, I don't want to disappoint my parents....and I am sorry if this post is unclear, this is my first time posting stuff on the internet, I hope you are kind enough to understand that. Thank you!

so, I've got this big presentation at work coming up, and man, the nerves are real. it's not exactly my forte, and honestly, public speaking just makes my palms sweat. anyone else feel like this? anyway, I figured I'd share some thoughts on how to maybe dial down that anxiety a bit. it’s been said, "practice makes perfect," and I guess there's no harm in practicing more than just once or twice.

let’s talk about preparation first. have you ever walked into a meeting and just winged it? yeah, me too. doesn't always end well. so this time, I've tried digging deep into the material. our industry’s got all sorts of jargon (synergy, KPI, fiscal projections.....) but really understanding the content can help. break it down into bite-sized chunks. for example, one might say, "start with a strong opening," then move into key points with clear examples and finish with something memorable.

another thing, and this might sound cliché, is rehearsing. have you tried talking to a mirror? it sounds awkward, but it can be quite effective. you get to see your expressions and body language. or, maybe pull a friend into it. they could provide feedback from an audience perspective. watch out for the filler words, you know? like, uh, um. we've all been there, right? treating your coworkers like they're keen supporters might change the game.

also, what about pacing and breathing? I’ve read somewhere, "take a deep breath," and it indeed helps. standing in front of an audience might feel like being in a hamster wheel, heart racing. ever tried pacing your speech? slower, measured words help not only calm the nerves but also make sure the message lands well. remember, it's not just the words but how they’re delivered. have you ever thought about how speaking can be an art form?

finally, the mindset shift is crucial. what's the worst that could happen? they might have questions you don’t know the answer to. and that’s okay, it happens. the key is to handle it with grace. maybe say, "that's an intriguing question; I'll have to get back to you on that." no harm in learning as you go. view the presentation as an opportunity, not a hurdle. it can indeed be a way to boost up that sometimes shaky confidence.

so yeah, that's the scoop. any other tips or tricks you've found helpful? I'd love to hear them. we’re all in this together, right? just gotta remember that at the end of the day, it's about sharing information and learning. isn’t that what makes this process worthwhile? here's to hoping the presentation goes smoothly.

So I’ve been catching this boy staring at me for like one year and half now , last year we noticed each other , I asked about him some of my friends and he was new at school , they talked good about him he didn’t seem the type of boy who was in any relationship before , I thought that he maybe he will do any move but he didn’t , summer break came then the new school year which is this year , he strarted staring again but his moves were a bit more this year , we don’t have friends in common to start talking , and he was an introvert a bit , he tried actually to talk when some friends were arround but it was a small try and it never worked , he hasn’t really find any way to talk idk is it bc he’s shy or he didn’t want or he has never felt that , we are till now in the same situation, I got to talk to one of his friends and once I saw him with his friend staring at me and I understood that maybe his friend knows that he likes me , so I decided to tell to him friend that I into him and at first I was like guess who , and he guessed him from the second try and he was surprised that I told him I like him too ( he doesn’t that that I know the boy told him

About me ) and he didn’t tell me that he likes you and I think that’s normal since it’s his friend maybe he told me to keep it private , the strange thing is that he hasn’t told me anything about him like any information or something till now we galk everyday he has never mentioned him

Idk why , and yeah idk what’s on this boy’s mind does he wait for the right moment or especially the end of the year after exams since graduation is close , idk but one year and half is too much also he hasn’t send any follow request and I’m sure he knows my account and it’s easy to find it , he seems like he has never had any relationship I’m not sure but it’s obvious and everybody said it , also he is a nerd