Life Stories and Everyday Drama

firstly, thank you for all the comments on my last post! your words really helped :). here's an update. unsure if this is positive or negative? i need help with determining that.

anyway, a lot of you suggested i talk to him about it, so i did. i told him about how i felt sidelined and neglected, and i reinforced my boundaries with him. i also asked him what he thought about breaking up. because a lot of you also told me to think about whether this relationship was worth the mental war. imo, i really want this to work out, but at the same time, if he won't change i won't burden myself and i'll break up with him.

honestly, i expected him to agree. but he actually didn't want to, and even begged me to stay. he asked me what he could do to fix this, and it honestly pmo because i've told him about 4-5 times already about how i feel when he treats his FP more like a lover than he treats me. i wonder if it's my fault for not communicating it clearly, but he also confessed that he was worried he would be bothering me whenever he reached out first (because i'm in uni and stuff, so i get pretty busy from time to time).

i reassured him that i didn't mind him reaching out first, and that it actually made me really happy when he did. and he also apologised for making me feel neglected, and promised to do better. keep in mind that everytime i talked to him about this in the past, he said the same apologies and i'll do betters, but this time he sounded more desperate (maybe because i asked about breaking up?)

now he's giving me a lot of attention. which i like, but it just feels awkward if you get what i mean. it feels like this attention is only because he doesn't want to lose me. also, he told me he stopped talking to his FP, but last night i caught him calling with his FP for the entire night after telling me he couldn't go on a date with me.

i am unsure of how to go on with this situation. my friends say enough is enough and i should let him go, but i feel like sometimes he really does try and that small effort shouldn't be ignored. should i break up, should i try talking to him again or should i wait and see what happens?

So, here's the deal!!! I've been grappling with this feeling of not being attracted to anyone!!! Like, anyone at ALL!!! It's not that I've turned into some emotionless robot or lost the ability to appreciate a good Netflix series with a captivating lead actor; it's just that when it comes to the realm of attraction, I feel like I'm floating in some sort of void!!! Is there a term for this in the emotional intelligence handbook??? Maybe I missed the memo at the last group therapy session!!! The funny thing is, this isn't one of those existential crises where I ponder the meaning of life or explore the depths of some philosophical abyss - nah, it's much simpler than that and perhaps less dramatic!!! Gotta love the simplicity of life sometimes, eh???

Even when faced with the seemingly omnipresent societal pressure to "find someone special," it's like I'm holding the Hogwarts Express ticket to nowhere!!! Maybe I'm surfing through a dry spell in the emotional attraction department, or it's just that my internal radar's been jammed!!! Anyone else in the same canoe??? Because, honestly, I'm ready to trade stories like battle-hardened veterans of the romantic war zone!!! "Houston, we have a problem!", I jokingly say to myself!!! Is there a manual for this stuff, or did IKEA forget to include it with life's assembly instructions??? Yet, strangely, I'm not worried at all!!! It’s like I’ve read somewhere, "Not all those who wander are lost," a Tolkien gem!!! So, perhaps this phase, albeit perplexing, has a purpose, maybe self-discovery rather than chasing heartbeats!!! Ah well, guess I'll continue to navigate this peculiar territory like a semi-curious, half-exasperated detective until the plot thickens, bringing unforeseen revelations and maybe a snippet of insight!!! Until then, cheers to the void - it’s oddly liberating, don’t you think???

Im not too big of a writer so dont mind the grammar stuff.

I have too many thoughts going on rn. idk where to start ig ill start with my love life thoughts

I like this guy, I have had crush on this guy for like 5 yrs. ikr crazy. i don't feel like im meant to be loved. i hate thinking that about myself but i genuinely cant help it. his ex's are so pretty. they are prettier than me. they are skinnier than me. they are more confident than me. i can go on. whenever i see them, i feel jealousy(?), or idk i get mad. not at them but at myself. they didnt do anyhing wrong, they just exist and happen to at some point be his gf. im so stupid. my crush and i actually had a 1hr long convo (or idk maybe it wasnt 1hr long but it felt long). idk how the stars aligned that day. truly a miracle. we laughed alot, talked about diff things. it was fun. but u see im a bit stupid. he talks to every girl like that. and now that i think about it. that convo was just a simple convo between 2 people. he talks to his friends (who r girls). he teases them (in a way friends do). he sits with them. he plays games with them. ( its their friend group that consists fo like 4 guys and 4 girls). those girls are just normal friends to him. im good friends with those girls too (good enough that they invited me to their weddings) but im not a part of their group. i get jealous of them sometimes, seeing how he talks to them, teases them, etc. we never talked ever (except the time i told u about rn) even when we were in working in groups too. i do wish i get to talk to him again. ik we arent meant to be so ill just have fun like this. btw idk how to talk to guys ha ha ha. that could be the root of the problem.

i actually have never dated anyone. ever. ever. ive had alot of crushes but never ever talked to them. never. no one has ever confessed to me ever. no guys has ever been my friend, ever. ive friends around me in a relationship, married, getting proposals left and right. truly happy for them. i celebrated all of it with them. but idk. ig i get fomo. im studying a 5yr long degree. im about to graduate in less than a year. i shoudlve had atleat one confession, mannn. even my mother once asked me "why doesn't anyone like you?" idk man. i really dk. maybe im just not meant to be loved and i think im accepting that slowly.

ik people say all that fun stuff like just wait, have patient. the right perosn will come when you least expect it blah blah. that stuff was comforting in the beginning, but not anymore. kinda became desensitized to it.

sometimes i just sit and wonder, why on earth do i keep pushing people away? like, seriously, it's maddening. i've got a bunch of pals, some even from way back in childhood, you know. but then, one day i just wake up and suddenly, poof, I've vanished into thin air, hiding from everyone. what's up with that? we're all human, right? it just doesn't make any sense. i mean, it's not like i don't enjoy chilling with them, sharing a good laugh or grabbing a pizza from that cool joint we all love. on the contrary, those are the moments you live for, aren't they? yet, despite all the fun times, i still find myself creeping back into my solitary shell. maybe it's something about feeling exposed or vulnerable? or is it the overwhelming pressure of maintaining connections? ugh, who knows.

just the other day, my friend max was like, "dude, where have you been hiding? we miss you!" and i couldn't even come up with a solid answer. sure, i threw a lame excuse their way, but deep down, i know it's a load of rubbish. i'm sure some of y'all must have felt this at some point. it's like my brain has a mind of its own, deciding i'm better off alone, like some sort of hermit or something. it's a classic case of self-sabotage, isn't it? could it be fear of getting hurt or maybe just laziness? because let's face it, keeping up with social obligations can be exhausting! but when i take a step back, i have to ask myself, is the solitude really worth losing all those great people who actually care about you?🤷‍♂️

i remember reading somewhere "the hardest prison to escape is in your own mind," and boy, isn't that the truth! i know it's all in my head, but how do you break the cycle? i find myself engaged in these endless arguments with myself, tossing ideas back and forth but getting nowhere. it's like trying to solve a rubik's cube blindfolded—utterly frustrating. do any of you have the secret formula to break the spell? sometimes, i wonder if it's just a phase, like a fad that everyone grows out of, or maybe it's just who i am. but hey, there's got to be hope, right? they say, "where there's a will, there's a way," so i guess i'll just keep searching for that elusive way.

we live in a world where being social is practically part of the human condition, yet here i am fighting tooth and nail against it. is it just me, or does anyone else have that 'meh' feeling about going out sometimes? like, the couch and a good movie just seem way more appealing than a crowded bar with people you barely know. but then again, isn't balance key? i'm not advocating for a total withdrawal from the social scene, but is there a middle ground where one doesn't feel suffocated by interactions or loss at every turn? try as i might to find that sweet spot, i end up in social limbo—caught between wanting to connect and yearning for solitude;

the eternal struggle, am i right? at the end of the day, maybe the trick is admitting there's a problem and then doing something about it. they say the first step is the hardest, but once it's done, you're on your way. so here's to finding that balance and not letting life's complexities drive us into hiding. we all deserve to have those meaningful connections that make life richer, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zones every now and then. life is too short to spend it dwelling in isolation, don't you think? maybe it's time to take max up on that invite and actually show up for once. maybe changing the narrative, changing the script to finally answer this maddening question: why do i isolate myself from everyone?

I have quite the temper and I get mad at the slightest provocation okay, and everyone in my family knows that.

They love to get on my nerves and when I get mad they would say stuff like why would you fall for it, and why are you like this. Basically questioning my reaction.

I've failed to take my motorcycle license 3 times if I'm not wrong. The first time I failed I've only driven a motorcycle three times. She rushed me to take the test because my cousin was ready to take it. We took it together. My cousin already knew how to ride long before me and I learned on the first day. When I failed and he passed my mom wouldn't talk to me. same as the other 2 failure.

I didn't want to continue because it's a waste of money if I keep failing. Now she wants me to take a car license and I don't want to. Everyone kept on making fun of me and said stuff that offended me. I got mad and didn't want to talk back because I didn't want to scream and shout like I did before. (I'm on a journey to change) Now I would isolate myself from others when I'm mad to cool myself down. But they don't like that either sheesh.

After that I was brushing my teeth in the kitchen and my sister asked me to move because she needed something from the rack above the sink. I did then she went away so I continued to brush my teeth and suddenly she shoved my face with her arm. I asked what her problem was and she just said I told you to move.

okay at that point I was already overstimulated with all the things going on and she just had to make it worse. and I'm on the verge of just lashing out at everybody. Please I need advice on anything that I can do to keep a calm composure

Hey, I just want to talk about it because it really makes me upset at myself. Usually, there is one character who is quiet, depressive, and suicidal by default (I'm not judging- because that's me) I started feeling this way since kindergarten because wow, my family is- words cannot describe. Here's a list of the bad things I've experienced in my life: Abusive father? Yes. Rejected by my parents? Yes. Never appreciated? Yes. Humiliated in front of many people? Yes, s3xual abus3? Yes—both verbal and non-verbal, ik it's terrible but I'm chill w it rn... the first child who HAD to keep giving in? Yes, divorce parents drama? Yes, inheritance war between siblings? Oh yasss, and worst of all, I was born a girl in a patriarchal family (this is the worst). And what can a little kid do in a situation like that? Yep, become an adult with kids body. But ik all those problems faded away over time, I had a high school romance story like something out of a manga (had to mention it hehe) so even though my family felt like crushed me every second. I still had best friends (they're angels for me), and I felt like there was at least a drop of something that made me want to live. Now, I have a pretty good life, even though the trauma is still there. I can socialize, I have many friends, I can laugh more freely (kinda want to brag). But there’s one thing—my suicid4l thoughts won’t go away, they’re still there. Even if my day is filled with smiles, the voice telling me to di3 is still there. Maybe as a human being, I just want to live in the end. But my desire to di3 is still there. Tbh, I want to live. The thought irritated me so much, maybe you guys have some advice?

I keep asking myself this dumb loud question in my head every morning and night and in the shower and while scrolling and it’s like how do you even tell if you’re gay?? I’m not crying about it I’m not romantic about it I’m just staring at the wall like ok facts only please. I look at guys and my brain goes yes that one!! I look at girls and my brain goes maybe but also no and also stop asking me. It feels stupid simple and also weirdly complicated. People online say “if you’re asking you probably are” and that feels rude but maybe fair. I don’t feel broken or tragic or whatever those movies sell. I just feel normal and annoyed. Everyone wants labels and timelines and a dramatic reveal and I’m like can I just exist first?? I think about how I’d tell my family and my stomach does a backflip but also nothing explodes. They’re not monsters. They’re just loud and nosy and love to ask questions. I imagine sitting at the table and saying it straight like hey I think I’m gay and then going back to eating. No violin music. No tears. Just facts. Is that allowed?? I keep wondering if you feel this way too or if you already know and you’re just scared of the word. People say “you’ll know when you know” which is useless advice but ok thanks. I notice I don’t hate myself. That feels important. I notice I’m not trying to change it. Also important. The world keeps spinning. Bills still exist. I still hate mornings. This isn’t a tragedy. It’s just information. I read some vent post that said “sexuality isn’t a quiz you pass” and I laughed because yeah duh but also I keep trying to pass it anyway. I don’t want permission. I want clarity. Or maybe I already have it and I’m stalling. Are you stalling too?? Be honest.

The family part is the loudest part in my head and it’s annoying. Everyone acts like coming out has one correct script. Sit them down. Deep breath. Serious face. I don’t want that. I want casual. I want rude even. I want to say it the same way I’d say I’m tired or I hate my job. I think if I ever do it I’ll just blurt it out in the car or during dishes or when someone says something dumb on TV. Like “yeah well I’m gay so” and then let the room deal with it. I don’t owe a speech. I don’t owe tears. I don’t owe explanations. If they ask questions I’ll answer the real ones and ignore the stupid ones. Boundaries are cool now apparently. I read that somewhere. The advice people give is always like safety first which yeah obviously but also don’t treat yourself like a bomb. I’m not planning to disappear. I’m still me. Same jokes. Same bad habits. Same love for dumb stuff. This is not a personality overhaul. I’m not asking them to clap. I’m telling them something true. That’s it. I think people forget that truth can be boring. I want boring. Boring is peaceful. If they freak out I’ll leave the room. If they don’t I’ll finish my food. Either way I’ll be fine. I keep repeating that like a mantra because it’s actually true. Someone said “coming out is for you not them” and I rolled my eyes but also yeah that tracks. So why rush it?? Why dramatize it?? Maybe I’ll wait until it feels like saying the sky is blue;

I don’t know if this answers the title question cleanly but maybe that’s the point. There isn’t a magic test. There’s just noticing patterns and not lying about them. There’s liking who you like and not apologizing for it. There’s waking up and realizing you’re not pretending anymore. I’m not confused I’m just mid-process. That feels fine. It feels hopeful even. I can imagine a future where this is background noise not the main event. I can imagine telling my family and then going back to my life. That thought doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. Progress?? Probably. I’m not here for pity. I’m not here for praise. I’m just saying what is. If you’re reading this and thinking wow same then yeah same back at you. You’re not late. You’re not wrong. You’re not dramatic for thinking about it a lot. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to be blunt. You’re allowed to be calm about it. People act like identity has to hurt. It doesn’t. It can be neutral. It can even be kind of relieving. I feel lighter just writing this out which is annoying but true. If someone asks me tomorrow how I know I’ll probably just shrug and say “I just do” and that’ll be enough. Do you really need more than that??!!

Hello to all the beautiful people out there!!! So I have been in a relationship for the past 6 plus years and I have known my boyfriend for decades like we're childhood friends. I do love him as of now, but as time went by I think i'm falling out of it. The reason behind all these is the disturbance of my mental piece by this girl and my beloved bf. After we made it official we were so happy, I was so happy, although he used to talk about his exes a lot. But I didn't object ever, because it was his emotion which he wanted to share with me.

So there's one of his girl "friends" he used to talk to and just last year I got to know that she likes him, she describes him as "love at first site" ( I felt like vomiting). After knowing this I immediately felt uncomfortable with her and I told my partner to never talk to her again and keep his distance. But after agreeing with all I told him, he did absolutely the opposite, he talked to her and deleted all their text so I can't read them, I mean WOW just WOW. We fought over this many times and he eventually stopped.

Here comes the twisted part I'm confused as hell, though he stopped to talk to her in general, but he always sends her text on insta after HE IS DRUNK. I mean wth dude, and deletes it, I'm so frustrated right now, last night it happened again, we had a little get together and he was drunk, I know his insta password so there was nothing that time, and I forgot to logout. This morning I woke up and saw the incoming text on insta it was her reply, which means he deleted the text he sent already. I feel like vomiting and crying at the same time, idk if its cheating or betrayal. My god people help me out here.

And she is a bitch, she keeps coming back to him even after I told her how I feel.

Hey! I'm looking for some tips to learn dutch and maybe danish too. I've been facinated and utterly mesmerized by Brugge, Amsterdam and Brussels.

So, I think that my next goal is to save a lot of money and then come back in less than two years.

If it's something free it's more than great for me.

Bedankt!

I am sixteen years old. I am a woman. I am writing this becuase I need to get it out, and IIWIARS is the only place that does not pretend to care. This happened at school, in a hallway that smells like cleaner and boredom. A guy I liked said I was an ugly fat girl. He did not whisper. He did not laugh. He said it like a fact, like he was reading attendance. I stood there and nodded, which still annoys me. I went to class and took notes. I underlined dates. I answered questions. Inside, something cracked and stayed cracked. I am not here to beg for comfort. I am here to state what happened and what it did. Words are not harmless. They sit on you. They weigh more than backpacks. 😐

I liked him in a quiet way. I watched how he spoke to teachers and how he tapped his pencil. I imagined conversations that never happened. That part is on me. The part where he decided my body was public property is on him. He looked me up and down, slow and lazy, and then said it. Ugly. Fat. Girl. Three words, clean and sharp. People nearby heard it and pretended not to. That is how school works. Silence is the dress code. I walked away without crying. That seems brave, but it was just shock. I cried later, alone, and felt stupid for doing it. Do you know how fast confidence leaves when someone names you like that?

I am not pretending to be neutral about it. I am angry. I am also tired. I am aware of my body. I live in it. I know its shape, its limits, its hunger. I am not blind. I am also not broken. His comment did not reveal a truth. It revealed his need to feel larger. People say boys are immature, like that excuses anything. It does not. At sixteen, you know enough to be kind or cruel. He chose cruel. I chose silence. I am still deciding if that was a mistake. It is wierd how one sentence can replay itself all day, louder each time. 😡

I am writing this in a formal way on purpose. Clear sentences help me breathe. This is not a dramatic story. It is common. It happens alot. Girls learn early that their value is negotiable. Boys learn early that opinions can be weapons. Teachers say ignore it. Friends say he is insecure. Both statements can be true and still useless. I did not ask for advice. I did not ask for approval. I am stating that being called ugly and fat changes how you walk into rooms. It changes mirrors. It changes lunch. It changes how you hear laughter behind you. I am definately not pretending it rolled off me. 💔

If you are reading this, ask yourself something simple. Have you ever reduced someone to a label just to feel powerful? Have you ever stayed quiet when you could have spoken? I am sixteen. I am a woman. I am learning how to exist in an enviroment that judges before it listens. I do not hate him. I do not forgive him either. I am balanced enough to say both. This is not a victory speech. It is a record. Ugly fat was what he said. This is what I say back, calmly and clearly, in my own words.

Ok we all should be familiar with ai, and a lot of people have mixed feelings about it… so my thing is I won’t to start a YouTube channel and involves some type of voice commentary. You could say what my YouTube channel is creative. So I need a voice to help me to do those vids, usually it’s your voice you use. But I have reason why I can’t, like (apparently from my sis my voice is very recognisable😭) and I don’t want any family to see it, and you know you really have to get the right tone in vids. So I was thinking of using an ai voice for the vids ( trying to find the most ethical way) but with how anti ai the creative community is…. which I understand bc of the police’s abd some other stuff but I’m admitting ai can help (atleast maybe in this situation?) so I don’t really know to be honest

i used to measure love by uptime. how often he was available. how quickly he responded. how stable the connection felt. back when we were solid, the system had low latency and high trust. lately the signals degrade. he still shows up but with packet loss. conversations drop. affection throttles. i remember one night when i talked about my day and he nodded like a dashboard alert he planned to ignore. i told myself it was just load, just stress. emotional labor can spike during rough sprints. but then the small regressions stacked. fewer check-ins. no curiosity. compliments deprecated without notice. love used to feel like a product in active development. now it feels like maintenance mode. i started logging incidents in my head. when he stopped asking follow-up questions. when dates turned into calendar placeholders. when i felt like a stakeholder instead of a partner. have you ever noticed how silence can be louder than conflict. i did. the absence of friction felt like disengagement. still, i kept hope because hope is a renewable resource if you manage it well.

another sign arrived as scope creep. my needs were reframed as feature requests with no roadmap. he said he loved me but the actions lacked version control. promises rolled back. accountability diffused. once, i asked for reassurance and he responded with efficiency jargon, saying feelings were subjective and hard to quantify; i laughed it off then cried later. intimacy requires bandwidth. his was consumed elsewhere. when affection becomes transactional you feel it in the metrics. hugs with time limits. texts optimized for brevity. sex without aftercare. i remember sitting on the couch thinking about attachment styles and feedback loops. i wondered if i was misreading the data. maybe i was biased. maybe the noise drowned the signal. but my gut kept flagging anomalies. i asked myself a simple question. if this were a service, would i renew. the answer scared me. i still loved him but love without reciprocity is technical debt; it compounds quietly until the system fails. that thought hurt but it also clarified things.

the hopeful part came when i stopped chasing patches and started designing my own architecture. i talked to him honestly, without blame, using plain language. i said i felt unloved. he listened, truly, for a moment. maybe it was too late for us. maybe it was the first step. either way, i learned the signs are not punishments. they are signals. they help you pivot. i began investing in myself. better routines. stronger boundaries. community support. i noticed how my mood stabilized when i stopped overclocking my heart. love should be scalable and resilient. if he couldn’t meet me there, someone else could, including me. i still believe people can reconnect if they commit to refactoring together. i also believe walking away can be an act of love. if you are reading this and nodding, ask yourself what your system needs right now. clarity. rest. courage. whatever you choose, choose with hope.

I literally just want to like starve myself and throw up whatever I eat and then starve myself some more if only I could just be skinny. please someone tell me how to induce vomiting, tell me how to not be hungry anymore. God I'm so fat. fucking kill me if I cant be skinny.

Hey guys, I'm a 14 y/o girl, and uh, as the title says, I have acne. And to those who have it or have had it, please read this.

I'm no confident kid, I'm the opposite. Apparently, acne never goes away! I've heard people say "They tell you it goes away at 18, but it's still there!" I'll get them forever unless I take Accutane. I may apply Niacinamide, but even then, it's gonna come back, it has come back. Accutane is long-term. But yeah, I can picture Caesar laughing at him even more if Joseph had braces. And my Niacinamide isn't working, and I really gotta stop snacking I may drink 1 cup of warm milk mixed with chocolate powder (I mix in 2 spoons), 2 biscuits, 2 Prosciutto and 2 dates, but it's gluttony and bad for skin! Why do I even put 2!? I've got a blood test positive for dust and cat danger allergy, but what if dietary choices where I snack every 6pm affect me negatively? Your skin is the largest organ after all. ACNE. Apparently sugar causes acne, and look at the sugar in my snack. Who even eats what I eat as a snack? Big-back material, I tell you. Not even niacinamide is working for me. I thought it was a big acne remover. The worst part is, acne never goes away unless you take Accutane or oral meds. It's what YouTubers say.

The worst part is, I have eczema and acne. How do I fix myself with 2 bad diseases? One shows I'm dry as a desert, the other proves I'm oily enough to fry an egg with it replaces olive oil. Acne is bad. Acne destroys confidence. Acne ruins lives. Acne makes me ugly. Acne makes everyone ugly. Everyone I know has clear skin, in my class, most people are clear-skinned. Look at them! My dad has scars because he accidentally shaved them off as a teen, and yet somehow he's fine. Eczema means my immune system is bad, and that if it dares over-panic once for something, it could be dangerous. I already have new dust and cat dander allergy for 2 years now, so I'm gonna get asthma like my grandma. I mean, I see Whispers of people saying how much they hate it. Plus, YouTube videos say that acne never goes away. One dude tried all topical stuff, and it didn't work. He still has them at 19! I'll never be safe! That Accutane's starting to look real good, and Dupixent, too. My acne may be pustular, and whiteheads but it could get worse. And my eczema may be itchy only, and doesn't make me have difficulty sleeping or focusing, but it could get worse. Then what's the point? My current serums aren't working. My eczema only cleared due to Niacinamide! That's the wrong thing I wanted to fix!

I don't fit anywhere. It won't reduce. That's impossible. There's no way it'll reduce. It'll come back, maybe worse. Nobody's perfect. The body problems will come back. And because nothing's perfect, why even try? It'll always get worse. I must utilize the time, that is less, to be pretty and loved. Plus, imagine me next to a friend who most likely won't have it. Like, who has the atopic dermatitis eczema? Amanda Seyfried only has perioral eczema, it only comes on her mouth. Mine is all over! Biologics barely have side-effects. Even babies get it. It's just a stupid needle in my stomach to cure my fundamental body flaw! I've had it since 3, but still. It counts. The only cure is biologics, which for some reason, my parents won't let me get a plan on. I got a blood test and my main allergies were dust and cat dander, which for cats I managed to not touch and dust I avoided most spots. Doesn't Accutane and Biologics fix everything? Isn't eczema a bad thing, anyways? It's a chronic disease. It means I have health issues. I'm not healthy. Again, acne is bad. It means there's an underlying health issue. If a woman has cystic ones, especially paired with facial hair and painful periods or no periods without birth control, it's PCOS. I may not have PCOS, I show no such symptoms, but still, at this age, it counts as an issue. A health issue. Acne means lack of health.

Can Accutane be the cure? It seems to be the most popular option. Can acne persist into adulthood anyways? It's what every video says on YouTube. All the Pinterest Whispers girls are right, they also hate their noses, they also want clean skin, and they also think when they become 18 they'll get a nose job. I got my mom's straight long nose bridge, and not the cool inward button nose. Even girls on there say the "clean diet" of shrimp, rice and asparagus. What if my foods cooked by my mom and maid aren't clean? What if my sugary snack for every evening ritual is causing me acne!? I should cut it out! You don't eat unhealthy foods! And acne is bad because it's ugly, it ruins self-esteem and according to Google, "it can be highly harmful to emotional well-being and, if severe or untreated, cause permanent physical scars. It frequently causes low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and significant emotional distress. Physically, it can lead to pain, itching, or, in severe cases, permanent atrophic (indented) or hypertrophic (raised) scarring." I'm not cute, I'm ugly. Those who say it's cute are either delusional, never had it before or have some sort of ugly fetish. F--k off!

Seriously? What did I do wrong? Why aren't I getting Accutane or Dupixent, yet? They're the miracle cure!

i got 1A and 4Bs in my IGCSE exam. at the time i was 12 (16 is the normal age), dropped out of school into a completely new system (caie) and gave the exams in 6 months without tuition or school. it was a really big jump, i was lonely and dumb, i’ll give myself some leeway there. i admit i studied lazily in the first half (3 exams), but in the second half(2 exams after 3 months) i really tried HARD. i really did, i swear. i mean i wasn’t the best in my previous school, but i still ALWAYS got 2nd or 3rd place which had to be something, right? even if i still wasn’t good enough for 1st, i was still good. but now, i’m just… bad. my siblings always got 1st place in school and got all A* in IGCSE (one of them was even 14-15 at the time). money was tight, so my parents and i thought i could be able to do it too. spoiler alert, i just disappointed them. i mean, i could retake but i doubt I’d even get better results and i just dont want to go through that shit again. i tried my hardest, i really did. i wish i could turn back time and fix everything. i can’t look anyone in the face anymore, or even myself. i’m such a fucking pathetic retarded dumb stupid ugly fat pig friendless loser who couldn’t do the one thing her family expected of her. if news does get out to my other relatives, i dont even know what i’d do. worst, my parents were nice about it and comforted me. i know they are lying, and they don’t even hide it, when another person has similar results to mine, they call him stupid. i dont how to live with these grades anymore. i cant even bring myself to study for A levels, all ive been doing is bedrotting for 4 months. today i was asked by my brother, “what did you get A* in?” and then i was reminded im such a fucking loser. i wanted to get in a uni with a scholarship, but now thats completely out of the question and i doubt id even get in a good uni even if i got straight A* in A levels. I’m good at nothing, this was the only thing i could atleast say smth about but now its been taken away from me. i was a coward because my religion doesnt allow me to kill myself, but honestly, i would rather live in fucking burning hell than wake up everyday in this fucking body.