Life Stories and Everyday Drama

There is a cosplay event I wanna go to, and I'm excited because I've never cosplayed. But mydad may be in Qatar soon, so when mom says "I don't know", I'm the smart one for saying "It can't happen". She says he could come back earlier, but for the moment, I give up. Actually, for the next 3 months, I'll quit before I try. It's best anyways. Mom can't drive to Abu Dhabi on her own, she's too scared. It's pointless, anyways. I've failed far too many times, in a few years only, I'll reach 0. there may be creeps or someone who could do bad stuff to me, and Abu Dhabi is 1 hr away from my house, she's scared of driving that far, and who knows, maybe Joseph's hair is too tough even with hairspray and styling, and even then, I don't think I can go anyways because a disaster may happen. It's okay. I've failed exams, I've failed 2 art competitions already, I lack friends even though it's been many years to even have one, I look bad anyways, I'm stupid, so the best thing is to just wake up, brush my teeth, watch YouTube, and call it a day. I'll not even watch JoJo with mom, it's a dumb anime anyways.

I'll do what other kids do on weekends, wake up, brush teeth, watch videos for hours, eat food, watch some more videos, sleep, walk around in the house, watch some more, eat snacks, watch more. I did it for 2 months of summer break, and even though I hated it, I'm used to it. There's no use wishing for a unicorn, especially when a horse feels impossible too. Johnny Joestar became below 0, he was in the negative, he hated it, but he's used to it. It's impossible to even have a cow, that's how stupid this shit is. It's okay, I'm a failure anyways. I thought life would be more humble because I wasn't very successful, just decent, so it's fine. Failure becomes painless, and painlessness increases when you don't hope and you don't even try. My Johnny doll will probably suck in the future when I finish him, so I won't finish. Johnny at least had Gyro. I've never had anyone my age for 7 years, so why bother trying to dress up, trying to succeed in exams this time, finish Johnny, or even try anything new? It's pointless, anyways. Life becomes so unpredictable, doing nothing feels like a nice change. I don't even have 1 Gyro, 1 friend who tries to care.

If I'm worth nothing, I'm in peace. The acceptance of nothing is peace

I mean, one book said people are allowed to think low of you, so I can do it as well. I have no idea why mom cares so much. Her daughter failed her exams, can't go to IGCSE for that reason, failed 2 art competitions, looks hideous, has no friends, has no outstanding achievements not even one, I spend her money on figures and books, with dumb comics or dumb art instead of successful business books for the future, so why does she still care? Now living is the only dumb thing I'm good at. DIO was right about "Heaven", if I knew my fate, I'd have accepted my fate to the negative numbers more easily.

I haven't changed. I'm convinced I'll never change. That's fine. Change is meant to be scary anyways. Stagnancy is sometimes the best outcome.

I’m done and convinced nothing will change. I'll still fail miserable until I decide my life is pointless, therefore I'll die somehow.

Why do you still care? I’m worth as much as fucking dog-shit, anyways.

Dad will leave, “I don’t know” will become “we can’t go”, and I’ll never succeed in anything. Mom should accept the fact she has a daughter who’s gonna be a failure in the future. They say failure helps you learn, instead, I feel as if I'm going from 0 to -1. I feel more useless than ever. Why try again if all I get is just bad outcomes. It hurts, it hurts too much and it's a pain I'd rather die than live with it. How does my family even live with this...leech? The fact that all their kid does now is fail, fail, fail. They should give me away. They should honestly, HONESTLY, tell me I'm a disappointment to them, and wish I died. Life would be better if I did. Failure has hurt me too much, and the only way to stop this pain forever is to sit down, scroll, eat, sleep, and so on until I'm 30, which is my death date. What's the point of trying to help a useless person, what's the point of being nice to yourself when you know you could've done better in LIVING? Fucking cunts.

Heyo, so before you dive into this story I'm letting you know that my older sister is diagnosed as severely depressed and also manipulative towards me (She was 17 years old while I was 13 years old) and I dont even know how or even why she wants me to follow her to do it but past trauma caused me to do so. (I live in southeast asia if you're a bit confused with the word senior highschool)

So what i was about to talk about is how we got almost arrested while I was in highschool on the other hand she's at senior highschool, During our semester break she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her (which isn't the exact reason actually) I of course agreed to go because I wasn't able to leave home anytime I want, We rode a tricycle on our way there and I noticed she has a big bag with her but I shrugged it off.

After me and her entered the grocery shop, I didn't notice she started to steal things from the shelf and putting it inside her big bag, I thought we were just gonna buy things instead of putting items in a bag (I was really oblivious to her actions back then) , when me and her arrived at the entrance the guard asked to check her bag and my sister told me she forgot her phone at a shelf, I followed after her not knowing what's happening since I haven't known what my sister had done and the next thing I knew is that me and my sister got grabbed by a guard to get interrogated after that our mom got called over to pay and pick us up. When we arrived back home I was immediately scared of facing my parents since me and my sister did a crime and they didn't know that was gonna be the outcome of our shopping. I always knew my dad as someone really strict and a bit abusive, so I needed to avoid him so bad because I would cry immediately the moment I see him being mad at me. My sister went straight to our shared bedroom, acting mad or normal after putting the family in debt.

Was that supposed to lecture me to not steal or to just inflict more pain by giving me trauma?? I want to see other people's perspective about my story

I didn't know where else to put this, so I apologize if this is in the wrong category.

I got herpes from kissing my former boyfriend, at 17. When I told my mom, she yelled at me saying that's "what I get for being fast." Now she acts like it's no big deal, but I still remember how it made me feel like shit. Now I am 21 and identify as a lesbian. My mental health is so much worse since coming to that conclusion. Not only do I have a small dating pool due to being a lesbian, but now I have to deal with an even smaller dating pool due to having an STI. People say to just date other people who have herpes but that is nearly impossible when lesbians have the lowest rates of STIs. To be clear this is not a bad thing, I'm just explaining how isolating it can be for people like me and how it's not as simple as dating other women who have it. To add insult to injury, I have been diagnosed with a "mood disorder" (possible personality disorder as well). I have been dealing with this since childhood, not being able to explain what I was going through. This disorder has made me ruin all of my relationships, even while on antidepressants. I'm in therapy now, but being isolated has worn away at my hope that I will ever be well enough to be in a healthy relationship or have healthy friendships. This is not even factoring in current events that's make people in general focus less on romantic (or platonic) relationships and more on direct action/organized activism, rightfully so. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever: who would want to deal with my baggage?! I oscillate between thinking I'm better off gone, and thinking I could definitely continue to live...in a psych hospital.

So basically, me and my ‘boyfriend’ have tried to date for a bit of time but I just can’t seem to fully commit to our relationship. We’re both guys, have finished highschool and are honestly figuring shit out. he’s always been the most outgoing person. It’s what I fell in love with, his personality. He’s always been genuine to me and he’s a great boyfriend but I’m just too scared to really commit to this relationship. I try my best not to become too intimate with him because of what others might think of me when they find out

I never had the best relationship with my parents. High expectations and pressure back in hs mad mee feel alone. They already had my whole life planned ahead (immigrant parents am I right) but it’s not what I really want. Tbh they don’t know what I want at all but who am I to tell them what I think.

I’m just scared of judgement and not only from them but from everyone around me. Wouldn’t it be better if I just break up to figure things out myself before it gets too serious? Idk I just need advice from someone who knows how I feel

Okk so the second half of the school year and damnn I have a LOT of free classes I can both come later to school and leave early and yk what I’m happy but here’s the thing WHAT DO I DOOOO??? My parents r so draining to be around and even as I was in school today I wouldn’t mind staying longer if it means I don’t have to be with them, but what am I going do tho?? Some days I’m having a special class in the morning so don’t have to worry about them but after school and the other days?? ‘Get a job’ I PHYSICALLY CANT ‘Volunteer’ good suggestions but something feels off I don’t have any friends so can’t chill at their house or hang out with them. Theres a library near but I can’t be there every single day till June??? I mean I could.. i have a lot of personal work to be done, ok good suggestions but what else?? And I lwk want smt far bc the only negative thing about my school is its way too close want to chill in the supermarkets near it? What if I see one of my parents?? Just chill near the park/grass area(well I wouldn’t do that people from my school there and way to awkward) and parents too. Take the public transport? PARENTS COULD ALSO BE ON THERE Theres a fast food place near the school but as u imagine near a school it’s gonna be always crowded so uber eats might be seeing a lot of me this year! Also connects to this - this Friday the 2 classes I have both teachers just said we will go see a show and like yh so basically a free day I don’t even have to go school WTH? I couldn’t have gotten this amazing blessing with nice and chill parents?? But lwk not wanting to see this show , it’s so crowded and just not a good space for my head , hopefully I can get out after I get registered. Maybe do a good delivery hmm anyway yh fine if u don’t have any suggestions thanks for reading too!

I don't know if this is the right place to talk about something like this but I need to get it off my chest and I don't want to emotioanlly burden my other friends by talking about this - as I've already talked to them about this and I don't know what to do about it.

Since December I've noticed one of my group of friends getting into really bad habits; more specifically with alcohol and marajuana (even more specifically, weed pens/vapes). I'm fully aware that I'm not one to throw too many stones in a glass house (not sure if I'm using that correctly) as I've tackled the same sort of problems they're experiencing, but have reached a place where I am able to do it recreationally and have a healthy relationship with it.

Where I'm from, THC and HHC have been banned, so now smoke shops are selling weed pens with really strange chemicals - I think the one my friends buy are called HHZ or HHX?? And alcohol is, of course, very easily available in most shops. Because of this accessability, my friends are buying weed vapes tri-weekly and drinking on weekdays alone. They seem to have no problem with this.

It also seems to me now, that every time I hang out with this group of friends we always end up drinking and it is exhausting. My house is also used as our main 'drinking spot,' which is putting a strain on me and my father, whomst I live with and does not appreciate the company when he has work the next day. Last week really broke me. We have a groupchat and one of them asked if 2 of them could come over to my house after they had watched a movie in the cinema to drink at 11pm. Are you fucking kidding me? I wasn't even invited to the fucking cinema and now you want to come over to my house just to drink? Am I a fucking dive bar??? Fuck you!

I never really had a problem with the weed pens either until the new HHX/Z shit came about. I myself used to smoke weed pens when they were still HHC/THC, but stopped because I was noticing that I wasn't right mentally and figured I should stop for my wellbeing. I'm worried that this is going to hurt them in the long run, especially since one of them that smokes them is in a difficult major in college and I'm worried about their performance.

Also, this seems relevant enough to throw in here, their humour and perspective on things has 'devolved' for lack of a better word. The way they talk about certain things just seems so childish and I normally wouldn't mind but sometimes it really bugs me, I don't know. And I can never talk about things that I'm interested in, and I fear that I'd get laughed at if I suggested something like "Hey, let's go to an art gallery/exhibition" or "Let's go to a jazz bar" even though that's a completely normal thing to do once in a while that doesn't involve liver damage or whatever. I know this because whenever I try to plan something new for us to try, a recent example being us going to a variety of new upcoming artists in the city, the plans always seem to conventiently fall through. But it's ok! Because there always conventiently time to go to the same fucking bar we always go to instead that have cheap drinks that get you drunk quick because why bother with something new and exciting when you can just get shitfaced!?

I feel guilty for facilitating this, but I don't know what to do. I've always had a hard time saying no but despite that I try my best to set boundaries, telling them 'no' straight-up when they ask to come over just to drink. I fear that if I voice my opinion, it will come off as a sort of 'mightier-than-thou,' since I've made it known that I've cut back on my marajuana and alcohol use over the past year after a particularly nasty bout of substance abuse following a break-up. I've talked to other people about this, but they've never given me any advice to remedy the situation - and I feel bad if I go to them for the hundredth (hyperbole) time with the same issue. I don't know. It's nice to scream into the void here instead of bothering anyone, but maybe that's just me.

Its enough ive done all I can think of chased down all my demons, ive seen you do the same.

ive honestly had a lot going on in my life right now. im still doing my education, not even old enough for an internship. my parents are struggling a lot financially and my moms selling away everything she has and honestly idk theres been sm problems, people coming from bank and all of that. recently i also got used for my body and cheated on by my ex, which led me to depression and really bad grades. i didnt have anyone to talk bout it honestly, it was the most traumatic thing ive been through. i feel lonely, it seems like life is not going anywhere and im just existing and surviving you know? its exhausting yeah. ive been having a lot of hair fall and found many grey hair too, i lost 8kgs due to depression, i was suicidal around that time and barely ate anything or slept at all. it was a hard time for me, but im glad im getting out of it. but it still doesnt seem like other things are better around me. school staffs have been bugging me about my grades and yea i didnt try i know, i just gave up, i just feel incapable and it crushes me so bad. i just hope i get out of this trance and get a better life, i try my best to work on myself atleast but yea itll need time.

i had a bf, i genuinely loved him more than anything in this world, i was ready to do everything and anything for him. i was very serious about him so i thought ok let me do it with him, i was happy at first, but later things changed..

the first time we did it idk it was so lusty but i ignored it. and then as time went he used to become distant and barely texted me, and if we ever met it was only making out and sex, and particularly cuz he kept begging for it. i was very stupid enough to agree to everything although he treats me like im his fwb. he used to beg me for blowjob and sex and he'd keep asking until i say yes, one day i slapped him cuz he was forcing me to do it, he faked his tears so hard BYE WTF. but ukw i still had to console him and let him cry on my shoulders for what he did, i felt so shit, what had i gotten myself into in the name of love. and once again we met, had sex, midway i started crying, i had never weeped so loud infront of a man or anyone at all, i cried and i asked "why dont you love me anymore" he said no i do love you and tried to brush it off, his words never matched his actions, he was cold and distant, used to meet his ex behind my back.

once we had broken up, that time i had flirted with a dude and after few days my bf and i started talking again cuz we thought of getting back and thought we could fix the problem. i came clean and told him bout flirting with someone. he told me tht he never expected this whore behaviour from me, and my periods had been late that month too, he told me he didnt care if i was pregnant and wanted to block me completely. i was scared, but after few months i found out that he had A WHOLE RELATIONSHIP going on right after we had broken up for sometime. he was so egoistic to do tht to me.

things got messier, i kept letting him in me and idk i really was stupid, and then i broke up cuz i couldnt stand it anymore. he used to blackmail me and say shit like i tried to cut myself i hung myself and bs like tht, he didnt let me live in peace, so i told his mom. he texted me with so much anger and said "just cuz you are on your luteal doesnt mean you act up bitch", i was so. i just yea damn.

after i broke up i went thru depression, i realised all this time he was just using me for my body, i genuinely became suicidal and couldnt take it anymore. someone i trusted wanted me only for my body, and still had his eyes wandering even after i gave him everything.

i somehow came out of it and two months passed by.

we started talking again. the worst decision i made. we tried to date again and we stayed for few days we tried to fix everything but nothing worked, i was very insecure and had trust issues, as time went i logged on to his insta acc, i saw so many women. so many fucking women that i just i couldnt, he had called me a bop to everyone in those two months when we werent together and he had done so much. when i confronted him about it he said "my friend did everything". his own friend didnt accept on doing it. it was very evident tht he was lying. the level of pain i had gone thru was so bad but i put myself thru it on my own. right after i broke up and he had tried to message me everywhere and one of the msgs read "go have sex with another guy and get pregnant, if you ever want abortion money just text my friend and ill send it to you" and i had no words, ive lost my v card only with him.

next day after breaking up he went and met another girl and few days later hooked up with his ex. but yea sure im the whore according to him

idk but him using me for my body was the worst trauma ever. its been months and im still not over it

Our CEO has a very unrealistic expectations to us. She would give the work at 11am and have the result by 1? What the fuck? Am i not allowed to take my lunch????

I met a guy 2 years ago online. he sent me a voice message first and I just sent a question mark. Then we started talking and talking he was a cute guy and made me laugh, I sent him some videos and he sent me some. He once even told me he would take me to the amusement park so we could have fun like kids if we were in the same city (We both were teens). as we talked he recommended me songs. He even sang some

(ignore if I have mistakes, English is not my first language). Things were sweet and cute. I had family issues back then like now so he was the only one making me smile and forget about bad things, so yeah I got attached to him. I was texting him in my fake account so I had another girl in my profile. after I trusted him I sent him a picture of myself and told him that I am actually this. he was even sweet then, he told me he can help me improve my style -We've talked about that too- but I got stressed and blocked him (I wish it stayed like that)

Later I couldn't forget him so I texted him in another account I created and we talked there too. I told him I was sorry for suddenly blocking him etc. he didn't see anything bad in that and accepted me but told me I shouldn't fake myself. (yeah fair enough). As we talked things got a bit out of hand. because I always sent him a photo of me I liked. one day it even came to being s3xualized. I don't remember how but we came to that topic. He wanted a photo of my chest (I'm so sorry if these are triggering you, please don't continue) I was reluctant at first but I fucking did it. Then I deleted it. and I thought he didn't have the photo anymore too. Later the days he told me we should do s3xting and I refused. and he said it wouldn't hurt. i obviously refused him again. Then he sent me the photo I sent him a couple of days ago. (Yes that one). Clearly threatening me to share it around without saying anything. So I just wrote a paragraph about how I trusted him and how I wanted to be near him but how he disappointed me. and I logged out of the account. after a couple of days I logged in and the chats were still there and he didn't even block me. Instead he had even video called me after the paragraph. I panicked and just deleted all the evidence and the account there. I am grateful that I didn't use my actual account because I think he could've threatened me to send it to my parents. But I still hate myself for that I should've known that he was a bad person and I should've kept him blocked from the first time. He is now mature and keeps living his life while I think and rot here again and again. he even makes some small contents and dubs. It just popped in my feed a couple of weeks ago and I don't know.

I did some research and I should've gone to the police. but I don't even have any evidence. and I just let it go like that. even after 2 years it still haunts me I've never told anyone about this I just wanted to vent here

What is it called when you love someone but the minute they love you back- you back away. Maybe I do this because I’m scared or maybe because I like the chase more than the prize. I don’t know…all I know is that I sabotage myself all the damn time. And I’m tired. I want something serious but that would mean making room for heartache. They say love is worth the pain but how much pain can one handle before breaking? I’ve been cheated on so many times- I’m starting to wonder if I’m cursed y’all.

-Xoxo

You arrive when the world goes still, when the dark makes room for honesty, no matter how carefully I spent the day avoiding your name. I replay the moment I changed everything with a few trembling words. I rehearse my confession the way others recite prayers, not for forgiveness, but for punishment. Your expression—kind, careful, already closing, has become a permanent fixture in my mind, and I study it as though it might eventually explain what I did wrong beyond loving you too much, too openly, too soon. You did nothing except remain who you were. I was the one who mistook safety for promise, proximity for permission, friendship for a future that existed only in my heart. Now I lie awake stitching together memories, wishing I could rewind myself into the girl who loved you quietly. When loving you only hurt this much in my dreams.

I would like to start by saying I am a teenager, and I understand that that could bring some judgement to my story, but I feel that it is necessary for accurate comprehension and feedback. Also, disclaimer, I tend to ramble, but I will try to keep it as brief as possible, but there will be much backstory. Starting at the beginning, about a year ago me and this guy I liked and was kind of friends with started texting. We'll call him Alex. At first, he was just asking why my friend, we'll call her Eva, had been teasing him and I and if it meant anything. I dodged the question and we agreed to pretend it didn't happen, but later that day he texted again asking about schoolwork, so I jumped at the opportunity. I had liked him for several months, and had been considering doing this, so I suggested sending each other trivia questions to prepare for knowledge bowl. After that we just hit it off. When I tell you we texted 24/7, I mean it. Any time we weren't busy; it was constant. It really screams "screenager" but we were obsessed with taking to each other. And it wasn't your basic teenage texting, like "hey wyd" and stuff like that. We had playful conversations, deep conversations, just really started to get to know each other, going from one thing to the next and filling any empty space with trivia. I know him better than his parents do. It wasn't too long before he became one of my best friends, if not #1. And I told him this. However... we were not great at actually interacting in person. It was always pretty awkward, especially since we're both socially awkward people in general, so in person interactions didn't happen all that often. But the second we got home, things started rolling again. It may seem stupid and a dumb childish thing, and I agree, but honestly seeing each other just made both of our brains fry. But we really did try. About 3 months into this, we finally admitted that we liked each other but decided not to put a label on it because we were practically incapable of talking face to face. So we continued as we were, best friends and constant virtual companions that flirted and knew they liked each other. After another couple of months, mid summer, things started going downhill. I was dealing with family stuff and it was really hard on me so I resorted to pushing him away. I told him things weren't working out, and we didn't talk for 2 months. It was a hard time for both of us; neither had truly lost feelings and his mental health went way down. (He had had a history with mental issues that I was not entirely aware of at the time) Once school started up again, Eva became besties with Alex. (in her point of view, Alex says he never thought they were that close) I'm going to be honest, I may still hold this against her a little bit. She's one of my best friends, and she thought it was okay to start texting and always talking to and talking about him. It got to the point where Alex was practically all Eva's mom would talk about. But she claimed there was no interest there (she was being truthful, both ways, but the friendship still hurt) To be fair, he was the only person she knew in that class, but it got excessive. Eventually, though, Alex started asking Eva about me and I was definitely asking about him too, and one day she told me that Alex said he never actually stopped liking me and missed me. This broke me because I felt the same. So, Eva made the decision to force us into a group chat to talk. It went really well, we started talking like we used to again and worked everything out. Same stage as before though, "more than friends with potential for label". Alex and I got way better at interacting in person, and he, Eva, Eva's new boyfriend Remy, their friend Erik, and I all became kind of a friend group. To shorten it up, Remy was booted after not long. Alex and I finally decided we were ready and became official. To give you a time frame, it had been 9 months since we started talking. (oh and for the record, we had started saying "I love you" a month before we were official, which seems backwards, and I probably seem dumb and naive for saying this but we really do love each other) Anyways, not even a week after we started dating, he found out his parents were divorcing. It hit Alex really hard, and his mental health dropped, badly. As I said, even when he was really young he had issues with depression and suicidal thoughts, and everything pretty much skyrocketed. Here's where I stop the buildup and get to the conflict between Alex and Eva. Alex had had recent issues with her trying to take all my attention, but it was a pretty minor thing. Other than that, Eva had been very persistent ever since they became friends to get Alex to open up to her. He is a pretty closed off person and is slow to trust. She pushed and pushed and wouldn't let up. I understand the want to help and have people open up to you, but I also think it is important to consider boundaries and trust. Anyways, she eventually slowed down on the pushing. However, when the divorce first started being a thing, Erik and I told Eva that he really needed his friends' support, but she basically said she didn't have the energy to care or deal with it right now. I'm going to try to sum it up. Alex was really upset about this and decided if she didn't care he wouldn't care about being her friend, Eva felt that this was unfair and that she had tried so hard before and was always there for people and just needed a break. This is where it rooted, and more problems sprouted from this. Erik liked Eva but she didn't like him, but she was definitely doing things to lead him on then would just cut him off completely, and Alex used that as another reason to pull himself and Erik away from her. Among a few other little things. Eva still believed this was unfair and she didn't deserve it. And In full honesty, Eva really is a good person and a good friend. This went on for a little bit, Alex being cold, Erik being indecisive, Eva feeling betrayed, and me trying to keep everyone happy. Eva would ask Alex why he hates her now, and usually he would avoid the question, but eventually he gave in and started listing things he hated her for. Eva was really hurt and called me saying that he was a terrible person and yada yada yada. It was really hard for me to be on both sides of this, because I really did see both of their points. And especially hard since I was also trying to help Alex get through the divorce and not let the mental issues make him do something stupid, if you know what I mean. But I ultimately leaned towards Alex's side of the conflict. Eva and I are still just as close of friends, and I tried to be there for her while she was hurting and felt like everyone hated her, but she could tell and was upset that I was moreso taking Alex's side. As of right now, Alex and Eva hate each other, Alex tried his best to avoid coexisting with her and when he has to, I'll admit he makes some unnecessary comments, which I talk to him about. Eva hates Alex and won't admit it but I think she's judging me for staying with him. She gets passive aggressive when I spend time with him that could've been spent with her but she tries to pretend she's okay with it. And it's not like I always choose him over her and ignore her, that's not the case. As for Erik, he is still friends with both of them. I think both sides have valid points, and both sides have the support of people I trust. Sometimes I'm worried I should feel bad for staying with a guy that treats my very close friend like that, but I talk to him about it and ask him to be kinder, and considering the points leading up I really am not sure if he's in the wrong for that. Also, just as an explanation, I included all that backstory to explain I wasn't just going against one of my closest friends for "some guy", because to me he's so much more. I'm trying to balance two relationships with people that both mean the world to me but hate each other.

I want to preface this by saying my bf may be undiagnosed neurodivergent and his parents didn’t get him the necessary tools he’d need as an adult so I do empathize with that… but I won’t make this long but I will also try to be as detailed as I can. Me and my bf met on Facebook and we have been together every day since our first date. This was new for me so shacking up almost immediately wasn’t on my bingo card for sure but it worked. There were a lot of things we went through together and separate where we had to be there for one another.. we have been together practically three years and he doesn’t know how to really communicate well or express his emotions well and I am a very vocal person but sometimes the deliverance isn’t the best I can account for that but I like to talk and he shuts down. Says I’m always arguing or trying to “debate” when I see it simply as communicating. So we never really talk. Like have deep meaningful conversations. I have to almost beg to be cuddled sometimes like he is affectionate at times but certain time I have to direct it. Which I am not a physical person myself so I get it but he should see I love to cuddle if I like asking but he always seems to make it seem like a chore to do it .. he also has grabbed me by my face arms once by the neck.. and wrists.. he’s not all bad he doesn’t cheat he does anything for me but idk I think I know the answer I just want someone else to weigh in on it. The fact im ashamed to discuss it with friends and family says it all..