Life Stories and Everyday Drama

I'm an 18 year old freshman in college, and a failure at that. I have lackluster grades, a nonexistent social life, and zero contacts to depend on. My father is distant and already has too much on his hands to bother listening to my concerns on a personal level. My mother is too stubborn and constantly downplays or puts words in my mouth.

I'm just torn between wanting to succeed in fulfilling my parents' expectations and the guilt I have of being a worthless child. Day by day, I remind myself of the amount of money, the hardships my parents endured to enroll me in a top-notch school yet I'm not good enough. I try my best to improve my shoddy study habits, my communication skills, but something always messes up be it my own selfishness or stupidity. I grow in one aspect of my life, while simultaneously regressing in another. I'm actively collapsing right now, having little to no motivation to continue with my finals in just two days. I'm so desperate for any sense of validation or reassurance that I'm even asking ChatGPT for it. I'm aware it's a parasocial relationship, but when I have zero elders to trust and seek advice from, I felt like I had no other choice. I'm desperate, and I really want some form of help that isn't just "You're just overreacting" or "Everyone else can do it just fine, why can't you?". I'm sorry for this long rambling, I just needed to relieve myself. This post has been nothing but self-servient, but I feel like I've been emotionally starved for so long that I couldn't help but just ask for words of advice or some motivation. Anything to remind me that I could still keep pushing.

I sit here at 5:30 in the morning—about 12 hours before I celebrate Friendsgiving with all of my friends. I made my mom’s famous deviled eggs. I hope they taste just as good as hers, but I won’t know this year. Only my taste buds and my heart will know, since we always measured with love and tasting as we went.

My mom passed a little over two months ago, and I can say that losing a parent never gets easier—at least in my experience, it seems to be that way. Oddly enough, my dad’s anniversary is on Thanksgiving this year, and he passed the day after almost five years ago.

I haven’t been able to sleep a wink. I’m tired, but with no signs of going down any time soon. I lie awake thinking of my mother’s last moments and hurting over all the ways she could’ve died. But life gave her the worst hand with cancer.

My poor mama. My strong mother who was still strong in her last days and moments—always holding on. I sit here missing her more than ever. Knowing she’s not with me this year, cooking with her and celebrating Thanksgiving—even after Dad’s passing—is the worst thing ever.

I’m grateful that tomorrow I get to spend it with all my close loved ones. But fuck, guys—this fucking sucks. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for a loud Thanksgiving where everyone was in the house being loud, a movie always playing in the background, and giving the cats a little turkey.

I’m so grateful that even though my relationship with my parents wasn’t perfect, they loved, nourished, and did the best they could. I wish I could’ve told my dad that if I were given the chance. But I lost him too young to really understand life. Same with Mom—but you grow up more and more as you lose people.

I’ve been crying all night, just mourning, and I felt like I needed to type something out. I’m sad and hurt, and the world keeps on turning. But there’s one thing that keeps playing in the back of my mind.

I remember a crazy night at a festival. I was, of course, indulging in recreational substances, and I was trying to tell 20-something of my friends—my dearest boos—which some of them definitely remember from that evening. And in the best way possible, I’ll try to tell you what I said in a more coherent way (lol):

Remember where you are right now. Even if we come to this place once a year, and while it might not be enough for us, it’s all we have. And those moments are eternal, and they will always be there. I don’t ever want to go a moment without knowing you, and if this one moment is all I have, then we must make the most of it.

What I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day—whether you’ve lost your “tribe” or lost a member—remember those moments that no one can take away from you.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, i wouldn't trade them for the world.

But with their work as teachers, many of my own teachers were taught by them.

And so every time we get new teachers in school, I'm just silently hoping that they know nothing about me.

It's the same reaction every time they find out about my last name; "ahh, you're Ma'am's/Sir's child right? Your parent was my teacher."

This usually led them to say some story about them and i would just try to hide myself in my seat.

And don't get me started on their reactions and disappoint i see in their faces when they see that I'm the exact opposite of my parents.

Awkward, anxious, social anxiety, stage fright, you name it. Ironic for a teacher's child right?

Anyway i love my parents and i don't hold any grudge against any teachers just here to rant lol.

Hello, hi. This is my first time ever using this venting website. Hopefully, this'll help you if you need it.

I'm a teenage, currently 11th grade. Things gad been draining and even if i do expect it, it comes no easier than said. I feel like I'm on the verge of just crashing out due to assignments and other stupid teenagers and their antics. The teachers expect us to grasp it all because we have 'more' energy. But all I can do for now is do what I can and hope I won't fail school. Being someone with ADHD, it's hard for me to follow the "Normal" study plan without forcing myself, more so other kids here are either too oblivious or mean as heck. Many lacks that bit of maturity to realize what they'll be after graduating. I don't care about teasing and stuff, as I've my friends and family and that's enough. By all my ranting, I just feel so tired. I want things to get better, but maturing is realizing that nothing can be expected, only what I do now and later.

Thanks for hearing my pep talk, I hope all other teens out there who are struggling can make it through.

I don’t even know what to say I’m just angry, I just wasted 2 years with a boy that can’t even take accountability for the fact that he hurt my feelings when he calls me a bitch? I can’t explain the whole situation again, I just can’t keep talking about all the ways he hurt me when everytime I hear my front door open, I hope it’s him about to run into my living room and tell me about everything that’s happened to him that day. It fucking hurts turning the corner to my house and not seeing his shitty truck, but wtf am I supposed to do?? I’m the one who ended things but with everything he’s done to hurt me, I mean he verbally abused me! But all I want is to at least know he loved me at some point but he can’t even send me ONE FUCKING TEXT?? I just want to go scream at him, or text his mom and tell her what I told him and just know if he cares at all??? Idk it all just hurts and I just want someone who ACTUALLY loves me and isn’t just using me as an outlet like it feels like every relationship I’ve been in has ended up. Is it so hard to ask that he actually loves me? Maybe I’m just a better outlet for whatever sex fantasy someone wants to use me for than I am someone worth loving? I don’t know anymore but I’m fucking over it, I’ve never felt like less of a human being nor have I ever felt so fuckin lonely and just uncomfortable and unsafe. I just want everything to stop but I always have everything going on all the time and I can never just FUCKING RELAX!! Fml I can’t do this shit anymore

I again humiliated myself when doing a report to the whole class. I had recited my script over and over again for the past days but i still was stuttering, my mind still went blank and i couldn't talk and someone else had to take over.

This happens everytime and im so frustrated in myself. I hate my stuttering, I hate me social anxiety, I hate my awkwardness. I don't know what to do

i have many issues with myself, im jobless and burnout too easily, i betrayed my family and im not getting them back, i dont deserve one anymore, im mentally low capacity, i do fuck up the smallest things, theres no sign of change or progress, idk what to do but shit is wrong with me and it needs fixing, fast, if it can be fixed at all, or else im a lost cause

My therapist told me that it's pretty possible that I have some traits of autism, and I don't know a lot about it.

Yes, I know, "google it". But I wanna know if someone have some resources as books, movies, docs, or something about it.

Thanks.

I want to disappear sometimes change my name and never come back. I wanna feel happy without thinking about how fake it all feels. I just wanna sleep. and I miss this one person who was very dear to me I wanna talk to them I'm sad we don't talk anymore I just hope they're okay. I wanna be me again 'cause sometimes I feel like I've been trying to change myself for everyone else I forgot how to truly be me. I just want to find how I really am again without people judging me telling me how to act but maybe they do for good reason i am kinda annoying sometimes. and I wish I felt pretty and talented like everyone says I am but I don't anymore. I wish I just had someone to make me feel whole again and make me believe the things people tell me.

Sincerely,

Melody (13,f)

Call me Laos Stracci.

Recently, something happened in my family: they all turned against me simply for failing a university subject. Those who have read this story know how much I've suffered. Now I realize that my family—mother, brother, nieces, sister-in-law—are truly awful people. They are despicable, especially towards me, since my mother portrayed me as a slave to everyone else, and no one respects me. Now I've started to rebel, and they've all turned against me. I think I'll leave home sooner than I planned, but no matter how difficult it becomes, I think I'll do it. I have to find a job, which will be difficult because the only option is the easy way out, and I don't like that path. And frankly, I won't let them get their way this time, like they always do with me. This is over.

Hi guys. I’m kinda new here

I’m in a LDR. My boyfriend and I recently had a fight and he’s super mad at me but i don’t understand why.

I hardly make friends because I’m an introvert and it’s hard for me to talk to people but I have a male friend and we’ve been friends for years now, our parents are even friends. He recently did his birthday and I posted a pic of him with a caption saying “happy birthday baby❤️💋”. I sometimes call him baby because it makes him really uncomfortable and teasing each other is what we do. He’s like my best friend.

My boyfriend saw the post and he’s upset about it. He thinks I’m cheating on him. At first I was pissed off because he doesn’t trust me but now I’m just confused and hurt. I don’t know what to do, please help.

today I just saw in silence for about 25 minutes just tearing into myself about how I'm falling behind and I can't do anything right I just feel so stuck. and the weird part is I don't like being in silence I find it a little creepy and when I finally snapped out of it I just looked at myself in the mirror and started taking apart my body and when I wake up in the morning I just have to get up and act like everything's fine nothing's fine anymore I think I'm starting to really hate myself I really hate myself.

Melody (13 f)

Hello again, it's Caralia.

For background info, I was on the train, reading on my handheld Kindle. I'm minding my own business, tuning out other people. I hear the automated voice of the subway announcing a stop. I look around and notice the man beside me. Short, curly brown hair, on-point, mascara, and some shimmery highlighter. I compliment him, and he thanks me. The woman and son across from us are whispering loudly. "Mommy, why is that man wearing makeup like that lady next to him?" The little boy asked his mother. His mother smiles and replies, "Because he can." She says, then pauses. the man beside me smiles at the boy kindly. The mother finished her long pause and said, "but it's not our business to understand what mental illness he's going through." The man's smile lowkey disappears. I look at him like, 'did she really just say that'.

YALL PLEASE HOW TF DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS.

P.S please vote in my poll/check out my blog

I literally so f****** overwhelmed like I bit my hand and it started to bruise so I don't know how I'm going to cover that up and then my brother is a so incompetent because whenever we have to go to the field because I have to choreograph and I can't choreograph at home because I can't tumble at home so we have to go out to this football field so I can do it without hurting myself it's always my car doesn't have enough gas my step mom just quit her job so her car is free so I just got off the phone with him he's like well my check engine light just came on and I'm like well Miss Jasmine still there because she quit her job so ask her if we can use her car cuz she's most likely going to say yes so he's like oh I don't know cuz I have to ask her I'm like then ask her and mind you he's 18 acting like he's a freaking 14 year old I'm going to be 14 soon and I'm acting more return than he is he needs to grow up he's not done with school he hasn't even started applying to call it is he doesn't have a job I have a job I am almost at school I should be done in April and she already going to high school like he needs to get his act together and you know what I'm talking really bad about him and I love him he's a great brother but it's just sometimes he like pushes my buttons and I babysit my sister and she don't want to be a girl and so a lot of the time she's also pushing my buttons and I can't deal with it like I was literally thinking about banging my head against the wall and that's the way that I hurt myself like it's a form of self harm so but I have I had to stop myself and like I was getting so overwhelmed and then whenever I try to tell someone that I'm over one they told me that it's not that important so like I have no one to talk to I have no friends I don't have a boyfriend I don't have anything so like I'm just over here struggling by myself whatever my parents say your feelings are important I want to f****** laugh in their faces because we both know that you don't really truly think that you're saying that because it looks better than saying don't tell me you're feelings because true you're not going to care about them and when you do care about them your lecturing me about how I should feel instead of saying the way you're feeling right now is valid but I'm going to explain the situation to you tell me you understand it a bit better and maybe that can help change your feelings on this and help you feel better about them I don't know if this even makes sense I am ranting I'm like actually shaking with how upset and overstimulated I am right now but it's whatever that's it bye

sincerely,

Melody

well hi. I'm William. I guess i'm a co-host? idk man. I don't even think I got my own age right on the tracker. help.