Life Stories and Everyday Drama

I went to my school carnival, it was fine, I guess. There were many people, and I only went there to buy some merch and stuff. I saw my classmates, said hi to a few of them, but otherwise I didn't do anything with them because they had their own groups doing their things, but I think I dressed well and I got a strawberry keychain, a small Amazonite tumble, and some stickers of K-Pop Demon Hunters and a chemistry version of "Iconic" with moments captured, to say, "Iconic moments captured". But yeah, it was fine, mom got some magnets, my brother hung out with his friends. Honestly, my loneliness now felt more hollow than sad. I told my mom maybe I was destined to be a hermit, and she said, "Even they live, and stop whining. We need to get something." And when I told her no one really greeted me, not that I expected them anyways since I belong in the garbage, she said, "It'll take time, please." Take time, it took 7 years. When we came home after a nice Oriental meal, it was really filling, mom noticed I end up scratching myself way more due to my eczema, and mom admitted she knew why because it gives relief, but when I told her I also do this because when everything goes to hell, I don't have friends, I score low in exams, I stop drawing, scratching is the only thing I'm good at. Mom looked at me weird, told me I live a privileged life, and that when her parents split she was worse off for a while, but weirdly, after I told her "Maybe my problems aren't real." And she said, "You think I said that? Try to think positively for once. It's a slow process." It has been 7 years already, I've given up the search for friendship and love, because to me, it's now a sin my body still wants. In fact, why bother with people? Love and friends are a risk, a liability, and scratching and thinking of doomsday is the only reason I'm alive. It's the only way I'm not getting into bad situations, because I don't trust people. I have eczema, I do get a relief, mom knows. You may say, "Oh stop this self-harm!" But this is from eczema, I've always had this. I have! It's just gotten slightly worse over the years in terms of skin. But it doesn't matter, because as long as I'm not getting an infection or at risk of dying, I'm just suffering a skin disorder. Even mom doesn't get it, because she's an idiot! Why do I even trust her!? She deserves to leave, and so does dad, and my brother who rubs salt in my wound by calling me "friendless", "ugly", "short", "stupid because you scored low marks" on a daily basis thinking it's a joke. I get it, you have more success than me! I'm a flopped movie! But one man who I forgot the name of was right, "People is hell". Hell is other people. That one author of "No Exit" was right. People are disgusting creatures. I may have yelled at mom today, but that's the freest I've felt. Hurting disgusting creatures is easier than living with them, considering I'm a warrior in a world of Hell. Making them feel bad with my harsh words. Hell is other people. Mom is delusional for wanting hope. I've hoped long enough, and it's a mere childish thing. We humans perceive things in our own ways, we may not share the same sights at all, and maybe the real world is just nothing, and we projected ourselves onto it like beings orbiting a mass in nothingness. It's some physics theory I heard somewhere. Her perception that it'll get somewhere is her being a human. My mom is forcing it down my throat because she's another mass of life my poor brain created wanting me to suffer. I'm right, aren't I? Isn't the theory correct? Isn't Sartre correct? Aren't I intelligent? Isn't my perception theory correctly recollected? Me being smarter than my peers, even the guy who told me the perception theory as a joke, I reflected and made it make sense. Guts thrived in being alone, he left Casca for 2 years to help himself after she got trauma, and he lived. He reflected so much, all when being isolated. From his team, his girlfriend, to beat Griffith! At least he had a reason to fight, what am I doing? People are anyways uncultured, stupid, mean, ugly pigs who deserve nothing, anyways. I'm really starting to get Dio and Kat from Euphoria more, people are trash! No wonder Dio became a vampire and Kat became who she is, people are trash and he's rightfully ashamed to be human. People are pigs because I'm better than them. Even my classmates are pigs. And you may also say again, "Oh but try therapy!" Enough with the therapist talk! My dad will never let me go to one ever again! I can never ever go to one because it's a fantasy dream! It's just a life I can never have, so the best I can do is just move on or trust mom, which she's already labelled "pig" in my head because parents slow down their children. I'm no longer hating myself, I hate everyone else for thinking I'm a freak for seeing the truth. Nothing matters because nothing exists. I'm a god in a world of pigs. I was only born as a girl unfortunately. Not that I feel gender dysphoria whatsoever, but people are pigs.

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

Hi

So I got a few months ago my ex best friend/ex Situationship told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend for me because I made him feel safe and loved. Fast-forward a few months I gave him a time limit of when to break up with his girlfriend because I wanted to spend the holidays with him. He then and said, broke things off with me after having intercourse with me. I threatened to tell his girlfriend and now he’s telling everyone that I’m crazy because I have bipolar. So now every time I go to my neighborhood McDonald’s he clears at me and my now boyfriend. But I wanna know if I was crazy to like him in like that or if I was just being a hopeless romantic at a point.

so yeah i’m 16 and a girl and i live on a farm, which sounds cute until you realize it also means mice, like a ridiculous amount of mice, and they are everywhere all the time and i swear they know when i’m already stressed. i’ve been scared of them for as long as i can remember, like heart racing, hands shaking, full panic mode when one runs across the floor. my family thinks it’s hilarious, especially my brothers, and even my parents do that little laugh like oh here we go again. i try to be polite about it and not yell, but sometimes it really hurts. last week one ran out from behind the feed bags and i jumped on a chair and everyone laughed for like five straight minutes. i know they’re tiny and probably more scared of me, people always say that, but my brain just doesn’t care. it feels embarrassing being scared of something so small, especially when you grow up around animals and mud and all that. sometimes i wonder if living on a farm automatically means you’re supposed to be fearless, like cows are fine and spiders are fine and mice should be fine too, but they are not fine to me. do you ever feel like your fear defines you more than you want it to?

i really want to change though, and that’s the part i don’t tell my family because they’d tease me even more. i don’t want to be the girl who screams every time a mouse shows up, even if it’s kind of who i’ve always been. i’ve tried little things, like watching them from far away when my dad is around, or not immediately running out of the room when i hear scratching. once i stayed still for like ten whole seconds while one ran across the kitchen, which felt like a huge deal to me, even if no one else noticed. my mom said i did good, in a calm nice way, and that helped more than she probably knows. i keep telling myself fear isn’t permanent, it’s more like a habit you can slowly unlearn if you’re patient. sometimes i even think the mice are just part of the farm doing their mouse business and i’m the weird one barging into their space. it sounds silly but that thought actually calms me down a bit. i still hate when my family jokes, but i try to remind myself they don’t mean to be cruel, they just don’t understand how real it feels to me 🐭

the other night i was alone in the barn and i heard that familiar scuffling sound and my first instinct was to run, but i stopped myself and took a breath and told myself i was safe, even though i really didn’t feel like it; i didn’t see the mouse, but i also didn’t panic, and that felt like progress. i’m trying to be hopeful and gentle with myself because being mean to myself never helped anyone. i think one day i might even be able to pick something up knowing a mouse could be nearby and not freak out, and that thought actually makes me smile. i know change takes time, especially with fears that live in your body and not just your thoughts. i wish my family would cheer me on instead of laughing, but maybe once they see me improving they will. until then i’ll keep trying, one small step at a time, and maybe my story can remind you that it’s okay to be scared and still want to be brave, right?

Have you ever just woke up and your mind is like i gave up on any kind of relationship like you just no longer wanna engage and just enjoying the solutide because all this things is just getting tired. Like you just wanna surrender and okay with being alone.

Im tired of actually putting so much effort to keep any kind of relationship and just ended up feeling everything is not reciprocate at the end. I’d rather let everything fall apart once i dont put any effort and hopefully it’ll open a new door for better things for myself.

Maybe how i show up authentically is actually by being with myself and building the relationship with myself.

For the sake of privacy we'll call my ex Jay and his friend Mark.

Jay and I had been dating for only a few months when I found out he cheated on me with one of his girl best friends. I confronted him about it and he said that he would never do it again and that he loved me so much, so I decided to give him a second chance. Well. only TWO WEEKS LATER, I found out he told a girl he was single, asked her to date him, and worst of all, he lied about his age saying he was the same age as the girl when he was 2 years older than her. I confront him about it and say that we needed space. Jay gave me the space and I decided to give him another chance. A month goes by and I decide to test him. My cousin who we'll call her Kai. Kai agreed to pretend to like him and flirt with him to see if he would cheat. Spoiler, he forced himself onto her on their first 'date'. I immediately broke up with him the next morning after I found out and then a few weeks later I got a call from Mark, blaming me that he was gone. I asked him what he meant by 'gone' and he told me Jay ended his life because I broke up with him. To give more context, Jay had a habit of threatening sewerslide if I ever did leave him. Mark told me that it was my fault and that it should have been me. Is It my fault?

Thank you guys for all the advice! I asked the friend why they were doing that to me and they admitted that they were struggling with their own issues and needed an outlet for their anger. They apologized and are trying to be better. I told them that I don't think we'll be able to be as close friends as before, but we can try to at least be friends. Thank you all for the support 🫶

WE FIGHT TO SURVIVE.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THOSE WE LOVE.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THE "LORD" ABOVE.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT TO SPEAK.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THE THINGS WE KEEP.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT TO WAKE UP EVERYDAY.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT TO KEEP OURSELVES SANE.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THINGS, THINGS ONE, THINGS ALL.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT FOR THE TIME THEY'LL CALL.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT AND FIGHT WITH NO END IN SIGHT.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT AND FIGHT DAY UNTIL NIGHT.

BUT WHY?

WE FIGHT BECAUSE WE CAN.

WE FIGHT UNTIL THE END.

WE FIGHT WITHOUT A POINT.

WE FIGHT, BUT DISAPPOINT.

I FIGHT FOR ALL THESE REASONS.

BECAUSE I HAVE TO KEEP BELIEVING.

BECAUSE IF I STOP BELIEVING

I WON'T HAVE A REASON.

Can you hear me? Or am I mute? Can you see me? Or am I gone? Do you know me? Or have I changed? Can you find me? Or is it too late?

It’s too late. I can’t find myself. I have changed. I don’t know me. I am gone. I can’t see myself anymore. I am mute. I cannot scream.

GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE

There is no escape.

This has been my fate from the beginning.

I am gone.

Who am I?

Do you know?

Am I who I was?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I’m scared.

Who am I?

nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left nothing left

I don’t know you.

Do you know me?

Was I ever ok?

This body isn’t mine.

It isn’t theirs.

It isn’t ourse.

It doesn’t belong to us.

I prob look insane rn but can i argue with that i literally am lolz

Hi, my name is Onyx. My friend called me a pick me for venting and just trying to get people to recognize that I'm struggling both mentally and emotionally. To give some context, this friend and I have been friends for a year. I had made food for them, supported them through hard times, bought them stuff, and used my money to buy and help them out with stuff. I'm wanting to know if I'm the pick me for Venting to this friend as well as some mutual friends of ours about what's going on at home and what I've been struggling with. Am I in the wrong here?

I've been in my relationship almost 13 months now. Her and I have had our ups and downs but most importantly I had one only friend who was a girl that she was jealous of and long story short I cut her off. She made me give her my Instagram password so I can't vent to any of my other friends because she would know and I can't vent anywhere else that isn't anonymous I just feel so upset my chest hurts and I want to cry and everything is just bad and oh my goodness

My girlfriend is suicidal, she harms but she's trying to do better, but she isn't good at giving me attention and she ignores or casts aside or doesn't put much thought into me or my interests. It's been going on since we started dating. I've asked her multiple times to pay me more attention and be more invested and she does maybe for the rest of the day that I ask but she never entirely changed.

Today, I was pushed to my limit of this, I felt horrible as she just sent an emoji reaction to the things I told her about my day, and as she told me things about hers I asked her questions and replied with words. It hurt every time. This has always been the dynamic, and every time I'm pushed to my limit I tell her and bad things happen.

I have learned to never tell her my feelings because every time I do, she either apologizes over and over again and doesn't change or she harms herself or tells me she either wants to die or she is planning to kill herself.

Tonight I was so upset and hurt, I thought it would be different. I thought maybe she would be able to listen and understand my feelings. I had a hard time telling her. She knew I was upset and she said "I also have something to bring up but rn clearly isn't the time for that" and we went back and forth and I ended up telling her why I didn't want to tell her what I'm feeling, and she got upset because I said that she wasn't prioritizing my feelings and she just said "oh my god" and started defending herself and

And I said "I don't want to talk anymore" so I didn't respond for about an hour. When I came back things were calmer, she seemed to be level headed as I told her the real reason why I was upset (That she wasn't paying much attention to me), and she said she was tired, stressed, busy with work, and I said I understood that but I make a point to always reply with words even if I'm busy or tired or upset. She said she was trying to change, and I could tell she was starting to become upset so I switched to her, I told her she was doing amazing and I tried to cheer her up because I knew where it was going. She told me i can't keep doing this to myself, that she doesn't deserve me, she says these things every time they just sting, I don't know why

I was trying to ease things going on when she suddenly tells me "I could either go the sleep route or the overdose" referring to making herself feel better. I made her throw away her blades weeks ago and she wanted to committ to being clean, she is doing well so far, unless you consider tonight ruining her streak I'm not sure.

Then I threatened to call the police. I had no other choice than to scare her with calling the police because I knew nothing else would work.

Going back and forth, she was telling me

"I'm sorry I failed you"

"I failed you as a partner"

"I put you through hell"

And I felt she was about to kill herself, I told her I would call the police (she is scared of the police because her home would punish her if police came to check on her)

Then she sends me blurry pictures she was crying on the bathroom floor

She told me if she got up she would probably go overdose

Then she was talking about how if rebirth was real she would be happier

Then, she hurt herself, she had an already injured foot, she injured it further, told me the veins in her foot felt numb

Then she sent more pictures then she told me instead of killing herself she was going to fuck herself up with her medicine by taking double the amount prescribed and I threatened the police again and I forced her to only take her usual dose. I hope.

Then after more back and forth, I kept telling her I was only going to go to sleep once she did, and she said she didn't trust me, that I won't call the police, and I ended up swearing at her and leaving. I was so angry and hurt, I couldn't do anything else

Every single time. Every single time, without missing a single beat, this happens when i try to talk about my feelings. And I can't even vent to anyone. I can't talk to a friend, I can't tell anyone else we know,

She is literally the only person I text. I literally have nobody else that I message. It is only her. And I can't vent to her about my feelings because this will all just happen again

She told me that if we break up she is 100% going to kill herself. Before we met she planned to kill herself after graduating, she almost did it early multiple times. I stopped her. She told me I'm the reason she's alive. Many many times she tells me, even in person, "I'll just go through with my original plans," and the only time she backtracked was the one time I cried after her telling me

I was so angry after today. I don't know what to do. We can't break up, I love her too much, we are locked in, but I'm going insane because I can't talk to anyone.

I don't know what to do

I went to my school carnival, it was fine, I guess. There were many people, and I only went there to buy some merch and stuff. I saw my classmates, said hi to a few of them, but otherwise I didn't do anything with them because they had their own groups doing their things, but I think I dressed well and I got a strawberry keychain, a small Amazonite tumble, and some stickers of K-Pop Demon Hunters and a chemistry version of "Iconic" with moments captured, to say, "Iconic moments captured". But yeah, it was fine, mom got some magnets, my brother hung out with his friends. Honestly, my loneliness now felt more hollow than sad. I told my mom maybe I was destined to be a hermit, and she said, "Even they live, and stop whining. We need to get something." And when I told her no one really greeted me, not that I expected them anyways since I belong in the garbage, she said, "It'll take time, please." Take time, it took 7 years. When we came home after a nice Oriental meal, it was really filling, mom noticed I end up scratching myself way more due to my eczema, and mom admitted she knew why because it gives relief, but when I told her I also do this because when everything goes to hell, I don't have friends, I score low in exams, I stop drawing, scratching is the only thing I'm good at. Mom looked at me weird, told me I live a privileged life, and that when her parents split she was worse off for a while, but weirdly, after I told her "Maybe my problems aren't real." And she said, "You think I said that? Try to think positively for once. It's a slow process." It has been 7 years already, I've given up the search for friendship and love, because to me, it's now a sin my body still wants. In fact, why bother with people? Love and friends are a risk, a liability, and scratching and thinking of doomsday is the only reason I'm alive. It's the only way I'm not getting into bad situations, because I don't trust people. I have eczema, I do get a relief, mom knows. You may say, "Oh stop this self-harm!" But this is from eczema, I've always had this. I have! It's just gotten slightly worse over the years in terms of skin. But it doesn't matter, because as long as I'm not getting an infection or at risk of dying, I'm just suffering a skin disorder. Even mom doesn't get it, because she's an idiot! Why do I even trust her!? She deserves to leave, and so does dad, and my brother who rubs salt in my wound by calling me "friendless", "ugly", "short", "stupid because you scored low marks" on a daily basis thinking it's a joke. I get it, you have more success than me! I'm a flopped movie! But one man who I forgot the name of was right, "People is hell". Hell is other people. That one author of "No Exit" was right. People are disgusting creatures. I may have yelled at mom today, but that's the freest I've felt. Hurting disgusting creatures is easier than living with them, considering I'm a warrior in a world of Hell. Making them feel bad with my harsh words. Hell is other people. Mom is delusional for wanting hope. I've hoped long enough, and it's a mere childish thing. We humans perceive things in our own ways, we may not share the same sights at all, and maybe the real world is just nothing, and we projected ourselves onto it like beings orbiting a mass in nothingness. It's some physics theory I heard somewhere. Her perception that it'll get somewhere is her being a human. My mom is forcing it down my throat because she's another mass of life my poor brain created wanting me to suffer. I'm right, aren't I? Isn't the theory correct? Isn't Sartre correct? Aren't I intelligent? Isn't my perception theory correctly recollected? Me being smarter than my peers, even the guy who told me the perception theory as a joke, I reflected and made it make sense. Guts thrived in being alone, he left Casca for 2 years to help himself after she got trauma, and he lived. He reflected so much, all when being isolated. From his team, his girlfriend, to beat Griffith! At least he had a reason to fight, what am I doing? People are anyways uncultured, stupid, mean, ugly pigs who deserve nothing, anyways. I'm really starting to get Dio and Kat from Euphoria more, people are trash! No wonder Dio became a vampire and Kat became who she is, people are trash and he's rightfully ashamed to be human. People are pigs because I'm better than them. Even my classmates are pigs. And you may also say again, "Oh but try therapy!" Enough with the therapist talk! My dad will never let me go to one ever again! I can never ever go to one because it's a fantasy dream! It's just a life I can never have, so the best I can do is just move on or trust mom, which she's already labelled "pig" in my head because parents slow down their children. I'm no longer hating myself, I hate everyone else for thinking I'm a freak for seeing the truth. Nothing matters because nothing exists. I'm a god in a world of pigs. I was only born as a girl unfortunately. Not that I feel gender dysphoria whatsoever, but people are pigs.

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

PEOPLE ARE PIGS

So my long distance boyfriend and I have been together only for a few months. I’m his first girlfriend and he’s definitely been the best boyfriend I’ve had so far. We have pretty good communication and we’re both very open with each other. I know his friends for one. And one of the first friends I learned about was a girl named Katie. Now I don’t mind if he has friends who are girls, because I’d rather trust him than be suspicious of his every move. My mindset has always been that the truth will come out anyway so if he does cheat, I’ll learn at some point, I don’t need to go chasing after that information.

But that’s besides the point. Him and Katie have been friends for a long time. And I’ve heard some disturbing stuff about her. She’s said some pretty mean shit to hi, that are things he’s insecure and worried about in his life. She said that he was a bum and that he was throwing his life away, just because he took a gap year from college to figure out if that’s actually what he wanted to do. And when she learned about me and how we’re long distance, she was like dude wtf? Which was super off putting to me. She acts like such a hater to him. What makes this worse is that he even said that she reminds him of his dad, who he has had a lot of issues with. So that made me really concerned about this friendship. He even blocked her because she was grilling him for struggling to find a job after he got fired, and he said he couldn’t take feeling like he’s disappointing her. Mind you, she’s not even in college or has a job, but she’s on him for this stuff.

I don’t know if I should talk about it with him. I don’t like her and how she talks to him, it’s not right. He works so hard and he’s been doing better than she claims. She’s filling his head with doubts about his own capabilities, calling him mentally ill and that he needs serious help, when there’s nothing wrong with him. I’m worried about talking about this because she’s his friend but, I wish he’d set some boundaries on how she talks to him. I hated hearing say “what if she’s right and I’m throwing away my life and fucking it up by being myself?” That’s a horrible thing for a friend to say. Accountability doesn’t have to be so mean.! I just don’t know if I should tell him how I feel or not.

I'm 19 and life should be straightforward, right? But it's not, because I'm in this religious family where being gay is like the ultimate sin. I'm a dude, and I've found myself liking other dudes, which freaks me out. It's not like I woke up one day and thought, "Hey, let's make my life difficult." Nope. I want what my family has: this "normal" life with a wife, kids, and all the blah blahs. I mean, how hard can it be to just like girls? Really, how??? It's like my brain is wired wrong or something. I just wish there was a switch to flip it off... stop the craziness and fit in. Why can't I just be normal like everyone else around me? Why???

All I've ever wanted is to live a life without judgment, ya know? But every time I step into church or sit at the dinner table, I feel eyes on me. Disappointment hanging in the air. It's like a grim cloud of expectations that I just can't seem to meet. I can't share this struggle because it feels too personal, too raw. I mean, how do you even start to explain something you don't fully understand yourself? When will it stop feeling like a curse and start feeling like, I don't know, a blessing or something normal? Maybe it never will... How do you stop being something you didn’t choose to be? Can you??? It sucks. Maybe it's time to ask, is "normal" really worth it??? 🏳️‍🌈

Some years ago I got into a long-distance (me 14, him 16) and obviously it was a relationship that turned out to be really unhealthy. He was rude to me and others, made disgusting comments, dragged me into a weird situation with one of his friends, used me for things I was too young to understand, denied to make calls and hid me completely from his life. I tried to contact him a month after we broke up, and he told me he'd "see if we could continue together." He ignored my messages and was a bit rude, so I decided to tell him that "if he didn't think we could stay together he should just tell me"; next day he told me everything was my fault.

Four months after we ended, he got a new girlfriend and suddenly she was everywhere. Meanwhile, I ended up struggling with psychosis and even now dealing with loss of sensation on one side of my body.

Now I'm around my 20's, I live alone abroad, I have a stable job, I've managed to keep my health in order and I've found a stable partner. A few weeks ago, as a joke, we looked up my ex’s account. He’s still with the girl he once told me was just his “best friend,” they live together and are planning to get married. In her videos he looks like the perfect partner and I bet he changed; but there's one that was posted months after the breakup, they meet in person and she referred to him as a healthy person.

A few days later I ended up in the hospital after a crisis at work, and they told me I showed symptoms of a possible stroke.

I’m starting therapy again soon because I don't want to lose the battle so young, but holding all of this in until then feels impossible. Any opinion would be accepted and really loved by my heart!

Maybe i'm not kind. Or Loving. or sweet. Or even good. But you're not safe. You're violent and aggressive and always look to hurt people when you don't like them. And no i can't think about you and accomodate you because all i'm thinking about around you Is that i'm unsafe and i have to escape.