Why am I so emotional? Crying easily, feeling too much, or not at all

The two opposite questions people ask

The stories under this title go in two directions. On one side, people who feel too much: a reader asked why am I so emotional? after crying in front of a manager; another asked why do I cry when I get mad?, which turns every argument into a defeat; another wondered whether they were too sensitive. On the other side, people who feel nothing when they should: I want to cry but I can't, or why can't I cry anymore?

They look like opposites. The replies treat them as the same system under strain, showing it in two different ways.

What the replies usually point at

Across these threads, the explanations that come back are concrete rather than about character. Lack of sleep, first and by a wide margin: several authors admitted to months of five-hour nights before anyone asked. A period of stress that has not ended, so the reserve that normally absorbs small things is empty. Hormonal changes, which readers mention for themselves without embarrassment. And, often, an upbringing where emotions were either punished or ignored, which produces both the person who floods and the person who cannot cry.

The replies also separate two things that get confused. Crying when angry is not weakness; the reader who asked about it got fourteen replies, most from people who do the same, explaining that it is what happens when anger has nowhere to go. Feeling everything intensely is a trait, not a flaw, and a few replies in those threads come from people who learned to work with it rather than against it.

What helped, according to the people who wrote

Not treatment, just what the authors and the people replying said had made a difference for them.

• Sleep before anything else. Boring, and the most repeated piece of advice in these threads.
• Naming the feeling before it peaks. Several readers describe saying "I am about to cry and it is not about you" out loud in an argument, and how it changed the other person's reaction.
• Finding where the tears actually come from. The reader who keeps crying got replies asking what had happened three months earlier, and the answer was a loss that had never been grieved.
• For the ones who cannot cry: stopping trying. The replies to those stories describe numbness as protection that lifts on its own once the pressure drops, and warn against forcing it.

When being emotional is a sign of something else

The replies are careful on one point. Crying every day for weeks, with no energy, no interest and no sleep, is not "being emotional"; it looks like depression, and the people in these threads say so and suggest a doctor. The same goes for emotions that swing violently within a day, or for the numbness that lasts for months. The stories here can tell you that you are not alone with it; they cannot tell you what it is.

How to write yours

Say what happens, in which situations, since when, and what you have already tried. Leave out names and places. You sign in with an existing account, only a generated pseudonym is shown, and the story is reviewed before publication; the replies arrive publicly and are reviewed afterwards.

Questions and answers

Is it normal to cry when I am angry?

Common enough that it is one of the most read stories in this group. The replies describe it as anger with no outlet, not as fragility.

Why can't I cry at all?

The authors who asked this usually describe a long period of pressure. The replies call it protection rather than coldness, and advise against forcing it.

Should I see someone?

If it lasts for weeks, affects sleep or work, or comes with hopelessness, yes. The replies here are from peers, not professionals.

Is it anonymous?

Yes. Your name and email are never stored, and other members only see a pseudonym generated from your account.