Health and Wellness Failures Stories

Thank you for the platform that lets me rant my feelings out but I believe it had come to an end. Did it help me at all in my mental health ? No but it lets me rant to thanks. More often than not it wrecks my brain by overthinking but thanks for listening to the drama of my life and I have to move on from this.

This is not a joke. I'm trying to be as serious as I can.

I’ve had a weird relationship with feet for a long time, but it wasn’t until 2018 until I started feeling like it became an issue.

I always had a sense of control with it, but now it just feels like an annoying bad habit.

In more and more places I go to, it seems like dangling shoes had become more common, distracting me and making me curious. In 2020, I discovered that I could heal if I actively searched for that kind of stuff, but when it surprised me, it made me nervous. Around 2025, my internet access had been severely limited, and now I can barely search for anything. I can’t look at these images in a comfortable place while at the same time not getting yelled at by my mom for using my phone. She will even notice when it disappears. Even worse, around April I found a new artist I loved, and I searched deep and got startled with a drawing of a character dangling their flat shoe. I also got into another piece of media that suddenly had the character heelpopping which took me off guard especially since I thought it wasn't the kind of thing to do that.

It’s harming me mentally and I can’t search for it willingly to try and relieve myself or draw/commission someone to help me with it. What do I do? What would you do? Also, sorry if this vent seems a bit weird, but I had no other way of letting it out without obvious ridicule.

I've always been a bit of a daydreamer growing up. During class, I would often zone out, thinking about simple things. However, over time, my daydreams evolved into something deeper. When I was about 12, I started daydreaming about traumatic events happening to me. It began slowly, occurring only once or twice a month, then progressed to weekly and eventually daily. Now, I find myself thinking about these scenarios more than I do about everyday tasks. This cycle has never stopped or faded. I'm currently 16, and I still daydream about these things daily. It feels like an escape from reality—issues that distract me from real-life problems. Many of these daydreams revolve around situations that could happen but are extremely unlikely. I've even started to believe that some of these dreams might actually come true, but I don't fear them, I feel like if they happened I would be able to stay calm. I've never had any trauma but I do have anxiety and depresion and I think I have adhd but my parents don't belive me and wont let me go through a diagnosis. Is this normal? if not can you tell me what I should do?

I don't remember a time when I liked myself. I guess to be more clear I don't remember a time when I didn't hate myself. I'm 34 now and ever since can remember I've hated being me.

Waking up in the morning is a constant disappointment because it means I didn't stop breathing. Even on the happiest of days I'm still always filled with dread, doubt, anxiety and self loathing. I understand what created this mindset, but unfortunately it's not something I can just pack up and hide in a dark corner of the attic.

I'm sorry, and I don't mean to throw a pity party but I'm just wondering if the day will ever come that I wake up and I'm happy that I'm still breathing?

Im 15, female I feel like I can’t turn to anyone right now even to family and friends, but I can’t even talk to anyone anyways because my mom had taken away my phone for a month because of my grades and I’m not sure when I’ll get it back. And my family can’t even handle their own feelings and yell too much so I don’t know or wanna know how they would handle mine, I’m uploading this on a computer by the way. I don’t have a problem with my phone getting taken away but she thinks I’m too distracted with it even though school ended a month ago, so when I went on call with one of my friends on a zoom meeting because I was getting lonely and I didn’t have anything else to do. She came in my room and I tried to turn off my computer because I knew she would get angry and she did. And she was also mad at the fact that I was trying to hide it from her, so she just started yelling at me how I never tell anything to her but I don’t like to because she assumes the worse about me when I explain. She asked if I was hungry after she yelled at me but I said no because why would I wanna eat around her right after that so she walked out of my room leaving my door open and started yelling again that she’s gonna take away my door and that I can choose not to eat then become anorexic and she made sure I heard too then she was just like “but Im right though” like that would give her an excuse to say that. I honestly don’t know why she even said that, it’s not even about the devices anymore. I didn’t know how to react when she said that I felt so numb at the moment. This was too difficult for me to tell anyone I know and her words hurt me so bad for the past few days and even now she did that right before my birthday in June. I didn’t really want to do anything for my birthday the next day. And I feel like all of that is too normalized in my family and maybe it’s because of generational trauma idk anymore because my mom acted normal towards me the next day. My relationship with my mom wasn’t always like that though I was a mommy’s girl because my dad is present in my life, and after my mom said all of that she was like “what happened to my little sunshine” but I don’t know what happened either. This summer break made me realize that school is an escape from my house and I think all of done this summer was lay in my bed and hope no one came to bother me in my room. Im pretty scared for the future especially the future generation because as I keep getting older expectations get higher, I know it may be apart of life but maybe Im not fit for existing here. I do hope I can get through it though because things can change in the future. This was hard for me to share even anonymously please be kind to me.

I can’t sleep. Why bother…? Y’know I can just… count sheep… one sheep… two sheep… three sheep… four.. sheep… god, I’m too tired to think of numbers. Atleast it made me sleepier, but… my storming thoughts aren’t gone yet. I think my girlfriend hates me. I’m not quite sure why I made this type of assumption… she sounds like she does. We argue almost daily about the smallest things… if I break up with her… then I might feel extremely miserable. I mean… I would like to, but… what about everything she has done for me…? I can’t let that slide at all… I want to cry, but I’m to tired… let’s just close our eyes and think of something else instead of… crying.

I’m 20. Male. No diagnosis. No meds. Not doing anything dangerous either, just kind of… existing, I guess?? I sleep way too much, but I’m still tired. I eat when I remember. I shower when I absolutely have to. Most days I wake up around noon, stare at the ceiling, then scroll until my phone gets too hot. I used to make plans. Now I cancel everything with the same excuse: "Sorry, not feeling it today." I'm polite about it. Always polite. But it’s a lie, right?? I don’t even know if I’m feeling anything.

I used to think I was just lazy. Like, I’ve always struggled with getting started on things—school projects, job applications, even just laundry. But lately, it’s more than that. I’ll sit down to do something, and my brain just… doesn’t. Like someone unplugged the part that makes me care. My dad says, “You need discipline.” My mom says, “Go outside more.” My friends say, “Just push through it, bro.” Okay, cool. But what if there’s nothing to push with?? What if the battery’s dead and the charger’s missing??

My room’s a mess. Not gross, just... piles of clothes and unopened mail and stuff I keep saying I’ll deal with “tomorrow.” I tell myself it’s fine. I mean, who am I bothering, right?? But every now and then I look around and it hits me—I’m stuck. Not rock bottom, not in crisis, just quietly stuck. Like that quote I saw once: “You’re not drowning. You’re just slowly sinking while smiling at everyone on the shore.” That’s kind of it. I still reply to texts. I still laugh at memes. I still say “I’m good, thanks” when someone asks how I’m doing. But am I?? I don’t know anymore!!!

It’s not all hopeless or dramatic. Some days I get a burst of energy out of nowhere and clean everything and even go for a walk or cook something decent. But it never lasts. It’s like a glitch in the system, not a fix. Then I’m back to lying in bed, scrolling through my camera roll from months ago, wondering why I looked happier in those pictures. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I just had better lighting. I’ve thought about therapy but I don’t feel “bad enough” to go. Isn’t that dumb?? Like I’m waiting for things to get worse before I ask for help??

So I guess I’m just wondering… am I lazy or depressed?? Is this what burnout looks like when you don’t even have a job yet?? I’m not trying to be dramatic. I know people have it way worse. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or if anything’s wrong at all. Maybe I’m just weak. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I need to try harder. Or maybe I need to admit that something isn’t right. I honestly don’t know. If you’ve felt like this before, did it get better?? What helped?? I'm open to answers. Just trying to figure this out without breaking anything.

Until you have seen me touch me hear me speak to you in person all your fcking questions and doubts will just be forever doubts. Stop making up stories and move on with your fcking life. I don't wanna be involved with someone who doesn't trust my whole existence.fckijg ass.

Why is my laptop being weird 😔 it's like someone is watching me I'm just scared that they might do something stupid it's like they just wanna see me like wth and and am I just paranoid but why do they wanna see me and do stupid sht to my laptop but whenever I double check they dont do anything it's like they just want to watch me talk on cam. Ugghhhhhhh.

Im turning 20 this year

Honestly I dont know what or how to write this but I feel so heavy and frustrated and confused and what not… I don’t feel I live in the present times

All I think about is of the future… i was 8 when I decided i wanna be in the medicine field, today at 20 after giving my entrance exam two years in a row i dont feel that Ive achieved it. I dont come from a very rich family but they have never let me felt that way, my parents even though I didn’t score well were never bad towards me, they supported me even though they dont know anything about this field Im in … my brother is my inspiration of hardwork

But lets talk about me.. i dont know who to go to who to contact who to talk or ask

My family supports me but there’s a thing called being happy and proud of yourself… ive never felt Ive fulfilled myself

Sometimes I just imagine the best conversation in my mind before even talking to someone. I worry people may get hurt people may find me rude or dumb and I just want to be happy again

Happy as I was when I was a kid

I was an extrovert and topped my classes

But now I just lag. My interest weakens when I fail I feel. I dont know if this is gonna help me because as soon as I post this and close this site… it’s all gonna still be there in the back of my mind

I think I need help but I don't even want to. But at the end of the day I know that I am not the one to give up…atleast I have a family who loves me and god always has a plan

But sometimes

It gets heavy

And I can’t cry because im just not able to…. Gosh someone teach me how to cry so atleast these emotions get away

Even for just a while… but I know it’s gonna be back

I want to break free.

I feel like we can't talk at all, friends. I feel like we can't talk much on social media. We're judged too much. On Telegram, I'm judged too much. A strange guy came to judge me as crazy. To speak to me in charming, meaningless language. To tell me that what I write formally is hurting the group. Who does he think he is? I can express myself however I want. When I write these posts with beautiful formality, with the desire to see beautifully what's happening to me, what's happening to me, I feel that instead of inspiring him to be a better person, he actually backs down.

How is it possible that posts like mine, which offer such a detailed analysis of my behavior? Very pleasant, very detailed, very beautiful, and also written with refined data, can inspire such destructive criticism as to say that I'm hurting the group, that I'm making it difficult for the group to coexist. Doesn't he realize that what he's providing is an improvement? How disrespectful.

Why, instead of hindering good progress, don't you go somewhere else to do it? There was a guy who wanted to be my ceiling, and I didn't like that. I don't think anyone does. I hate that guy deeply; it doesn't do me any good. Those people who put a ceiling on someone aren't good people. They're always obstacles. By the way, there's a space on Telegram where they tell me that their space is the privileged one for expressing themselves, as if they were the superiors; it turns out I'm very distrustful. It's impossible that I found one of those people in an emotional support group. How is it possible that I found a guy like that?

The previous day, along with a classmate, they told me I was an artificial intelligence. That they should kick me out of the group for that. Can you believe it? I can't believe that because of my writing style, which is what I mentioned above, they considered me one of those things. The problem isn't that; the point is that they told me they should kick me out. How are they going to kick me out after expressing myself? How, after expressing myself through my beautiful writings, are they proposing to kick me out? It was something I couldn't believe. They were monsters. I couldn't believe it. The other guy I mentioned, the one I mentioned earlier, told me I was an artificial intelligence. He insisted, even when I told him no thousands of times. The guy I mentioned earlier insisted, despite being scolded, that I was an artificial intelligence. They even went so far as to claim that my writings couldn't have been written by a human being. I felt extremely offended, angry. I'd never encountered such an offense to myself.

It was like feeling like I had no place anywhere, friends. That my voice, my words, my desire to improve, had no place anywhere. It was one of the most terrifying experiences I'd ever experienced. How could they kick me out of anywhere for expressing myself? Besides a place of support?! It was something I couldn't believe. I wanted to die after that. I never thought I'd have such an experience, ever. Besides, my writing was beautiful, pretty, precious, and didn't bother anyone. They only considered it harmful because it bothered others, because their writing style wasn't theirs. Because I wasn't like them, should I leave? Or should I lower myself to being like them? Everyone's writing is a very personal thing; or rather, their improvement, because that's what I aim for with these writings. It's working with anxiety. How the hell could they frame my process? That's harmful to anyone's health! Both physically and emotionally! How can monsters like that exist on social media? I still can't believe it. It was a truly terrifying experience.

I just wanted to write calmly in that Telegram group. Relaxed, calm. And that's what happens to me. Also, for a long time now, I've been in need of consolation. I confess, I need to talk a lot. I feel very accomplished about things. I feel like I need to talk to someone, but they're not there. She's a girl who should have arrived a long time ago, but she hasn't. I don't know where she is, and I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do about her. I feel like something happened to her or something. I don't know where she is. I swore I'd leave her—I confess—so I could get her out of a negative situation, so she'd somehow reach out to me, and yet she hasn't. I've seen it work with other people, but not with me. Well, I'm being grim: I respected her space. I feel like that's why she should come. Knowing she's with a respectful person, who gives her peace, who doesn't control her life. Why isn't her life coming? Could it be that someone managed to control her life and I don't know them? I feel like she doesn't value the effort I'm making to wait for her. I don't know what to do to run into her. She was supposed to be my life partner, at least, that's what I expected. I feel like I wasted my time looking for a way for her to be with me, also for her pleasure. It can't be that she did this to me, it can't be that she's I'm going through this. This is hell. How could I have lost her?

man, i woke up this morning and I just definitively don't feel good.... i'm 28 for crying out loud, you'd think I'd have my shit together by now. i'm not even sure what's wrong, like, there's nothing specifically happening to cause this funk. is this just adulthood, or am i missing something crucial? seriously, how do other people keep it together so seamlessly while I'm over here struggling to get out of bed most days?

all week i've been stuck in a vicious cycle; i'm tired, but can't sleep; i'm hungry, but can't eat; and don't even get me started on working. sometimes i think to myself, "is there something bigger at play here?" maybe there's some universal energy or something screwing with me. you know that old quote, "sometimes we need a little darkness to see the stars"? it's kind of comforting, but what if it's total BS? like, aren't there stars in the daytime too? 🤔

so my attempts to remedy this have been textbook: i've tried meditating but the silence only made me more anxious. hit the gym, thinking some exercise would help; instead, I felt more exhausted than ever. someone suggested "retail therapy"—what a load of crap. spending all that money I don't even have just stressed me out more. basically, i've run out of options, and I’m starting to think my only salvation might be an alien abduction or something equally drastic. maybe a fresh start on a different planet might do the trick.

despite all this, i'm trying to stay hopeful. i mean, people always say "this too shall pass," right? but what they don't tell you is how slow the passing can be. life does suck sometimes but I guess that's part of "the journey". and if life throws me any more curveballs, I’ll just swing for the fences or whatever—because what’s the alternative? sulking in misery? nah, not my style. i'm clinging to any shred of optimism left like a lifeline—because seriously, what else can one do?

so here I am, spilling my guts online like that’s gonna fix anything. but maybe, just maybe, someone out there can relate or offer a piece of advice that's not straight out of a self-help book. have you faced similar BS and come out on the other side? don't hold out on me, share the secret—what's the meaning of life, or at least the key to feeling like a functional human being again?

at 49 years old, i've arrived at a rather unceremonious realization: nothing makes me happy. it’s strange because society programs us with a checklist for happiness, doesn’t it? i climbed the corporate ladder, securing a lucrative position as a senior executive that one could only dream of. financial security was supposed to be synonymous with contentment, or so they said. but every payday, every bonus, and every dollar accumulated in my bank account seemed to lose its luster within days. i attended countless seminars and read numerous self-help books yet the existential void within me remained unfilled. when i banked my first six-figure check, i briefly basked in what i assumed was joy. but the novelty of a swollen account balance wore off faster than i care to admit.

I figured maybe i needed something more soulful, like marriage and a family. i received talk after talk about how a loving husband and a couple of kids would complete me; “your own personal cheerleaders in this rat race!” my mother constantly reminded me. dating was a nightmare coated in fake smiles and dreadful first-date questions, which i obliged to endure. against all odds, i did marry. i am married. yet even within the once-romantic confines of what was supposed to be ‘happily ever after', i often feel as though I'm in a partnership devoid of passion and genuine connection. this supposed 'holy grail' of familial bliss feels more like treading water than anything else.

having a home with a white picket fence painted the picture of the quintessential american dream i bought into it: lock, stock, and barrel. talk about a classic case of bait and switch; i found myself obsessing over the curb appeal and interior aesthetics, contemplating if a new sectional in the living room would spark joy. but let me tell you, there is no depth or warmth to hardwood floors that compensates for an empty, echoing house. similarly with cars – the gleaming metal beasts parked strategically in the driveway as status symbols – all nothing more than shiny cages on wheels. behind the tinted windows of my latest luxury car, the road ahead feels as mundane as stepping onto a public transit bus.

are these the metrics by which we should measure our happiness? it is almost cruel how these societal benchmarks – job, marriage, possessions – are willed to us as recipes for happiness, when instead they align more with a cycle of perennial dissatisfaction. why do we perpetuate this fallacy? often, i catch myself longing for the present moment to end as quickly as it began, as if i am perpetually waiting for a revelatory experience that never arrives. “chase after this, achieve this, by forty you’ll be settled,” they said; when in reality, here i am with these supposedly gratifying possessions yet feeling no different than the restless, aspiring 20-year-old who began this relentless pursuit. tell me, what am i missing in this equation? should I try to completely change my job for something that i love? (but no idea... what could I love as a job...)

you ever just lie in bed and wonder why the hell you're tossing and turning all night??? like seriously, what gives??!! i'm talking about getting tangled in sheets, flipping pillows to the cool side every damn ten minutes, counting every sheep like a math problem gone wrong, but nothing works, right???!! i'm sick of playing this nocturnal game where sleep remains the ultimate prize that seems so far out of reach!!! aren't we all just combatting our own circadian rhythms' betrayal???? i mean, the pineal gland is supposed to secrete melatonin to help us snooze but apparently mine's gone on vacation. you ever consider how cortisol plays into this mess, keeping us wired and wide-eyed when all we want is some peace and damn quiet???? sleep hygiene experts preach about creating an optimal sleep environment, like cool, dark, and quiet settings but what if it's not the physical space that's the problem?? maybe it's the mental clutter or unresolved tension from the day that's keeping us in this nightly rut?! like, who doesn't have a carousel of anxious thoughts spinning in their head the second they hit the sack?!! brain, would you mind giving it a rest for once??!!! why does it feel like you're the lead protagonist in this insomnia-driven drama, directed by the hypothalamus and the overproduction of cortisol?!?! does nobody else wonder why our internal thermostats decide to go haywire and suddenly midnight feels like we're lying on the surface of the sun??? the irony of a sleep number bed in which your only consistent number is zero makes me question why i even bother with these expensive sleep aids??!! we pay for weighted blankets, sound machines, and blackout curtains yet the cogs in our overactive brains still churn like a sleep-deprived hamster wheel!!!!! these sleep disruptions aren't just a mere inconvenience, aren’t they potentially eroding our REM sleep, intricately interlinked with cognitive function and emotional regulation???? why don’t we question how the pituitary gland contributes to this insomniac orchestra, blaring its growth hormones at nocturnal hours when all we crave is silence??? on that note, why does the world consistently underestimate the value of proper restorative rest??? why aren't we prioritizing sleep with the same intensity we allocate to fitness and diet?!! it's like an ongoing battle of trying to tune into a calm brainwave pattern but always ending up with the static noise of random worries!!! do digital devices or blue light villains interfere with our pathetic attempts at counting sheep??!! i'd sacrifice half my social media scrolling time for just five extra minutes of actual, honest-to-god deep sleep, wouldn't you???? sure, caffeine's an antagonist in this thriller story, yet why does your overtired self crave it like the elixir of life the following day?? irony much?! wouldn't you agree that the moment we drift into a slight drowsy state, the daily catastrophe slideshow begins on repeat???? like, why is memory consolidation and dreaming entangled in this storytelling of nonsensical adventures that I’d never embark on willingly???!!! does nobody else ponder how each futile sleep cycle contributes to the endless narrative of frustration and fatigue?!! i'm just baffled by this nightly absurdity, questioning whether it's a cosmic joke played on all sleep-starved souls out there!!! i swear the hippocampus and amygdala have something more sinister planned when i'm left there starring into the abyss of the ceiling at ungodly hours!! you get what i'm saying, right??? the intricate science behind sleep, the circadian rhythm, neurotransmitters, and neuroendocrine pathways are so damn fascinating yet infuriating when you can't find the off switch!!! why aren't we figuring out this enigma that plagues the best of us??! why does sleep feel elusive as ever, a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma??? please tell me, next time you toss and turn, will you join me in this quest for answers?????!!

What the hell is happening in my own house?? I used to think I had it together—career, family, routine. But lately, I wake up already exhausted, and it’s not because of work or age. It’s these damn teenage kids!!! Every day is a damn psychological battle!!! Mood swings, slammed doors, sarcastic answers, zero respect for boundaries!!! And don’t get me started on screen time—why the hell am I always the bad guy for setting limits??? I try to keep calm, but my voice always ends up shaking, like my whole system’s on overload. Hormones?? Sure. But what about mine?? Am I supposed to just keep absorbing the chaos until I crack?? Is that the plan?? Because it sure feels like it.

Even basic things like dinner or chores turn into full-blown negotiations!!! I’m not their damn project manager!!! I ask for plates to be cleared, and somehow I’m triggering a “mental health episode”??? I didn’t sign up for emotional hostage situations every evening!!! And don’t give me that “gentle parenting” crap—I’m not trying to be their friend, I’m trying to keep the household running without going clinically insane!!! Do they see what they’re doing??? Or am I the only one who’s drowning in this mess??? I walk into their rooms and it smells like puberty and rebellion had a baby. I’m not even trying to fix them anymore. I’m just trying not to lose myself in the process.

So yeah, I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll snap and not come back from it. I have intrusive thoughts I don’t want. I hear my own voice and don’t recognize it. Ever feel that?? Like you’re watching yourself spiral but still expected to drive carpool and make dentist appointments??? I go through the motions like a damn automaton, but inside, I’m questioning my own stability every five minutes!!! Is this what it looks like before you lose your mind??? Or am I already halfway there??!! I don’t need a diagnosis or sympathy. I just needed to write this out before I scream at a wall or throw my phone at something. Maybe someone out there gets it. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter.