School Stories

imagine this scenario:

a teenager, he is a student, isolated from the world around him. he longs to connect with people, but circumstances have built walls he cannot climb. his school is far away, his family rarely interacts with neighbors, and his parents, being reserved and socially withdrawn, have little connection with society. he is not allowed to leave home without permission, nor to use social media. layer upon layer, these restrictions have shaped his solitude, turning what once felt like temporary boundaries into a permanent way of life.

deep down, he wants friends. he wants to belong. but fear holds him back, fear of choosing the wrong people, of being hurt, of not fitting in. he overthinks every possible interaction until the courage to act fades away. so, despite his longing, he rarely tries. instead, he watches life from the sidelines, silently hoping someone might notice him first.

there is, however, one thing that makes him feel less alone, zubeen garg. he has known zubeen’s voice since childhood, growing up with his songs woven into the background of his days, until that voice became something deeply familiar, almost like the sound of home. to him, zubeen isn’t just a distant celebrity but someone who feels close, his voice feels familiar, comforting, almost like part of his own family. when he listens to those songs, a quiet warmth rises within him, reminding him that he is assamese, part of a culture and a crowd that come alive together in zubeen’s music. watching people sing in unison at concerts makes him feel, even from afar, that he too belongs somewhere. and it isn’t a forced attachment, he genuinely loves the music, its emotion, honesty, and life. in a world where everything else feels cold and unreachable, zubeen garg’s voice is the one familiar sound that still makes him feel at home.

he had once had a girlfriend who seemed like she had stepped right out of his imagination. shy yet confident, cute, tall, caring, honest, loyal, and genuinely in love with him without a trace of resentment or immaturity. she was everything he thought he deserved, yet he rejected himself. how could someone like him, so flawed and insecure, ever be worthy of her? in his mind, she was perfect, and he was far from it. part of him felt blessed to have had her in his life, a glimpse of what happiness could look like, and yet the same thought made him feel unbearably unlucky. he didn’t want to make her life harder or bring his own imperfections into hers, so he quietly stepped back, no messages, no calls, no meets, but it wasn’t a breakup. he told her he would meet her again someday, when he had become the person he believed she deserved. until then, he stepped away from her life, carrying both gratitude and regret. if he becomes better, he might return; if not, he will watch from afar, silently wishing her the best.

physically, he believes himself weak, and to some extent, he’s right. he always wanted to be the kind of person who’s strong, fit, and good at sports, the version of himself he wishes he could become. but every school sports day reminds him how far he is from that image. each time he falls behind, it’s not the loss that hurts most, but the feeling of failing himself. he looks at others and wonders why he can’t be like them, fast, confident, effortless. every time he comes up short, the gap between who he is and who he wants to be feels wider, and that disappointment slowly turns into self-criticism.

no one validates him. he has no one to confide in, no one to truly understand what he feels. during social events, his insecurities rise to the surface. surrounded by others, he feels invisible, as if his presence makes no difference. even laughter and conversation around him seem to happen on a frequency he can’t tune into. in those moments, he doesn’t just feel left out; he feels erased.

he often finds himself questioning his own emotions. Are they real, or just the product of overthinking? is he being foolish, or is this the long-suppressed voice of his inner child, quietly crying for attention after years of being ignored? sometimes he wonders if the pain he feels is even valid, or if he’s imagining it all. he’s trapped in a loop of doubt, because no one has ever truly listened, and he’s never been given a chance to make sense of himself in the eyes of another.

he tells himself he deserves a normal life, as if the one he lives doesn’t count as one. constant worry consumes him: what will his future look like? he knows his current habits aren’t leading him toward his goals, becoming a doctor, earning respect, finding belonging, yet he feels powerless to change them.

he sees his dreams as distant fantasies, not possibilities. that thought terrifies him. he feels unlucky, unlucky to be so isolated, unlucky to have grown up in such circumstances, with these parents, this family, this school. and yet, beneath all that hopelessness, a faint spark remains, a small, stubborn belief that maybe, one day, life could still be different.

in his quiet moments, he isn’t just lonely, he feels forgotten by the world, as though he exists on the edges of everyone else’s story.

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hello everyone, i wanted to share a part of my life with you. i’ve tried my best to express it clearly and honestly. thank you for taking the time to read, i would truly appreciate any thoughts or comments. and if any part of this story feels relatable to you, i’d love for you to share your own story too.

Moomy, sorry if I swear in some of these and please promise not to get angry because I haven’t told anyone this and I feel like crap anyways

I couldn't finish 3 of my exams. I couldn't the last 2 questions of biology, I couldn't finish 1 section in Hindi, and I couldn't finish half the paper in maths. I will fail even all the subjects. Maybe I didn't study enough for all of them. I'm a failure to everyone. I'm a failure in life. I don't have friends, I studied but I didn't have practice, I'm apparently rude to everyone and everything, I can't even draw like my beloved artists, I can't do art in the future because you'll replace me, and I won't pass school next year. It may be the second term and I have one more, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. I've never been. The list should've helped me because I would've been a great human, not the defective fetus my parents were given. That's all I am. Failure. Always will be, unless I figure out a way to just stop. Stop harming others with this mess, because my existence of failing alone is bad.

Nobody wants a failure, nobody wants to fail. Because look where failure got others. People failed to check the reactor core of Chernobyl, many people of Ukraine and other countries died. Someone scored very low in school, he was held back a year and continues like that, even though he's happy now. Someone failed a driving test, so they never drive again because they probably ran over someone. Someone failed an exam, and their parents beat the hell out of them or they get horrible treatment. Someone out there failed to get his family any food in a poor village and they die. Someone who was a topper in 8th became a failure in 12th and never ever got accepted to any college EVER. See? Failure hurts and it destroys. It’s like a cancer, a mutation which occurs when a DNA code fails. Failure’s a prion, a cancer, a mutation. I hate it when books tell kids in school, failure should help you learn. It helped me learn to not fail and resent it. My parents may have been fine, but I don't care. I'm a failure, and I should leave the house because I said so. Dad's right when he says lots of Indian families hate failure, I should too. He's not right when he says it's not good. Stop lying, dad!

Look where it f—king got me. I feel like I failed in everything. How am I gonna make it in this world? I won't. If I fail in one more thing, I'm a useless child. I hate it when they say you can learn and do better from failure. I hate it when dad says not to fear failure. Look where failure got others in the real world! Death! Destruction! Famine! Held back a year! Loss of friends! Abuse! More death! This will happen to me. It will. Didn't failure hurt them?

That's why I'm a problem. I may have been born by loving parents, but right now I feel like they secretly hate me, even though they seem fine. I burnt everything I touched, maybe this fail is it. I failed at maintaining 1 friend, at succeeding exams, at being nice and humorous, at being smart, at looking good and being in the trend, many things. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst thing ever to happen. Why even though I studied I couldn't finish the paper? I'm too slow like a snail, that is! I’m fat, ogre-like and as ugly as someone’s hairy armpits. I hate it when my mom said not to think on her behalf. Making predictions is what we do. Stock workers do it to predict the market trends. Even if she scored 5th topper IN SCHOOL, why is she telling me she also failed? It's a lie! Farce! Fake! Farzi! She's lying that she failed. She's not showing love, it's a story she cooked out of her mother-head to comfort her child. If I hate myself, I'll get better. I'm a worthless, useless, piece of sh-t, v—na candle smelling, stupid, pig-like, hairy, baboon-ish creature who deserves to not live for all her f—king failures. If I hate myself, I'll get better. Isn't it how it works? I admit my failure, I remind myself of them again and again, and I'll improve. It’s what I’ve been told by someone I don’t remember a long time ago.

My high was a waste. My high of feeling better and more confident was an utter waste pulled out my a-s that I really regret because I feel so stupid. Don’t try to convince me failure is good for me. Failure is bad for everyone. Remember my examples? They’re true! I feel more useless than ever. Like my high of positivity and small confidence was wasted. What do you mean I should think more positive, if this is the sandpit it got me to? I hate it when people say it. I’m sorry, but I also hate the fact even my own family hates cynicism and honesty, even though dad embodies both. Hatred of oneself happens when that person understands they are nothing more than their flaws. I’m nothing more than a stupid, short, fat, hairy, ugly, brace-faced, curly-haired, unskilled, lazy, abusive sister, daughter, girl and even human being. Being “positive” is stupid. Look where hoping got me. I didn’t f-cking finish the goddamn paper. My hope that I will finish was a farce and a fart. Listen here, stupid sheeple. POSITIVITY GETS YOU NOWHERE. Say it louder for the people at the back! Don’t tell me to care for myself and look at things to make me happy. Don’t tell me to “LIST PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS WELL AS THINGS

YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO.” “LOOK AT POSITIVE IMAGES AND THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD.” or even the stupidest, dumbest and most STINKIEST one, “WRITE DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND THEN RIP THEM UP OR THROW THEM AWAY.” How the actual hell does ripping up your negative make you better? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANYONE FEEL BETTER, FAKE SCIENTIST! I’M A PRODIGY, A TINFOIL-WEARER IN THE MATRIX OF FOOLS! DON’T SAY SUCH STUPIDITY, YOU HAGS, SLOTHS, MORONS, HAIR-EATERS!

Dad now thinks I’m a lying, dramatic, piece-of-sh-t daughter who’s only doing this to piss him off. Wow, great observation father! I just love how smart you are! I’m not upset, I’m aroused! I AM a psychopathic, cringe daughter! I am the Belle Gibson wannabe who successfully fooled the goddamn world into thinking she’s got cancer, when bloody lady’s got everything fine and set out for her! I’m a girl who’s farting out problems, and using my tongue! Ever considered cutting it off and removing my teeth? B-TCH?! WANNA F-CKING HURT ME? GO AHEAD. Not that you care if whatever I’m going through now is real or fake, I’m Belle Gibson, Moriarty, Kokichi, all chronic liars! I’M A LIE! And lies deserve to be killed and obliterated by God! IS GOD EVEN REAL? I don’t care, go ahead! Send me away to a sh-t Indian school where nobody cares and they all beat and probably r-pe me, because guess what, I’m toughening up! I’m having the ass of a monkey, callouses as hard a stone!! I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR GOD IS REAL I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED I’M A LIAR I DESERVE TO NOT HAVE LOVE I’M A LIAR AND I SHOULD BE JAILED AND TORTURED AND R-PED AND KILLED AND SLAUGHTERED AND EATEN!!

So don’t even begin to think about how I can improve, because I can never, ever, ever succeed next unit, or ever, in life for ANYTHING. Plain and simple, 1 + 1 = 2.

I couldn't finish 3 of my exams. I couldn't the last 2 questions of biology, I couldn't finish 1 section in Hindi, and I couldn't finish half the paper in maths. I will fail even all the subjects. Maybe I didn't study enough for all of them. I'm a failure to everyone. I'm a failure in life. I don't have friends, I studied but I didn't have practice, I'm apparently rude to everyone and everything, I can't even draw like my beloved artists, I can't do art in the future because you'll replace me, and I won't pass school next year. It may be the second term and I have one more, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. I've never been. The list should've helped me because I would've been a great human, not the defective fetus my parents were given. That's all I am. Failure. Always will be, unless I figure out a way to just stop. Stop harming others with this mess, because my existence of failing alone is bad.

Nobody wants a failure, nobody wants to fail. Because look where failure got others. People failed to check the reactor core of Chernobyl, many people of Ukraine and other countries died. Someone scored very low in school, he was held back a year and continues like that, even though he's happy now. Someone failed a driving test, so they never drive again because they probably ran over someone. Someone failed an exam, and their parents beat the hell out of them or they get horrible treatment. Someone out there failed to get his family any food in a poor village and they die. See? Failure hurts and it destroys. I hate it when books tell kids in school failure should help you learn. It helped me learn to not fail and resent it. My parents may have been fine, but I don't care. I'm a failure, and I should leave the house because I said so. Dad's right when he says lots of Indian families hate failure, I should too. He's not right when he says it's not good.

Look where it fucking got me. I feel like I failed in everything. How am I gonna make it in this world? I won't. If I fail in one more thing, I'm a useless child. I hate it when they say you can learn and do better from failure. I hate it when dad says not to fear failure. Look where failure got others in the real world! Death! Destruction! Famine! Held back a year! Abuse! More death! This will happen to me. It will. Didn't failure hurt them?

That's why I'm a problem. I may have been born by loving parents, but right now I feel like they secretly hate me, even though they seem fine. I burnt everything I touched, maybe this fail is it. I failed at maintaining 1 friend, at succeeding exams, at being nice and humorous, at being smart, at looking good and being in the trend, many things. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst thing ever to happen. Why even though I studied I couldn't finish the paper? I'm too slow like a snail, that is! I hate it when my mom said not to think on her behalf. Making predictions is what we do. So even if she scored 5th topper IN SCHOOL, why is she telling me she also failed? It's a lie! Farce! She's lying that she failed. She's not showing love, it's a story she cooked out of her ass. If I hate myself, I'll get better. I'm a worthless, useless, piece of shit, vagina candle smelling, stupid, pig-like, hairy, baboon-ish creature who deserves to not live for all her fucking failures.

Robbie (he/him) again! I'm really just rambling.

I've really been struggling with the subject IT lately. Or rather I've always struggled with it. When i started taking the subject last year i was heavily depressed, and remained depressed throughout the year. As a result I didnt learn much in this new subject and the teacher even had issues with me since I had handed in a really bad quality the end of year Practical assignment. I handed in such bad assignments and didnt do the work in class, and couldnt focus in class, nor study for tests due to the depression i had and the like, super traumatising chronic stress inducinng "friendship" i had all year. Like I either didnt care or didnt have the time to study or learn when i did care. And that situation continued until early this year, but after ending that friendship life has been so much better for me. BUt like academically it's hard to catch up on a year of not learning the work. ANd so my marks have been fluctuating heavily in IT ever since, One term it's 80% and 50%, another it's 40% and 50%. Middle of this year my teacher even thought i'd been cheating on a test, because my marks went up with like 20%. The teacher really freaked me out with that whole ordeal and I know it really got me demotivated about the subject for the whole next term.

Like for a subject where I have to code, the code really doesn't stick in my head for long. So I kinda have to study all the time right before a test, so I can achieve 70-80%. And generally speaking I've kinda had a slump recently, A bit of a depressive episode, and I can't find the motivation to do IT work. And over the last few months we've had do our end of year practical assignment, and I genuinely wanted to not at all repeat last year's issues about it where my teacher sent me my PAT back asking me to improve it (nice of him but freaked me out).

So I wanted to work on it from the get go, and as time passed i realised I just never worked on it, but when friends asked and my family asked I'd reverted to lying that I'd done this that and the other recently, or that my PAT included whatever code. So i've had a thorough idea of my project since the get go just never the actual project. ANd like this is better than last year at least since i know what i have to do for the project, I know im capable, and I know i have the time. But time passes, I'm kinda depressed and all of a sudden we have to hand in the written part of the project, and i had nothing, so I wrote something in one day. It wasnt great but it was pretty damn substantial. Like an okay grade, and very much a passing grade. And i felt okay enough about it, nevermind the procrastination. And i resolved to do the code aspect throughout the next week so I could hand it in in time. And no matter how much I thought about it, no matter if i had everything next to me I'd need, no matter if i had the resolve, I just didnt code it, And then didnt hand anything in. And that was the Friday before last. And over this past week Ive been meaning to code it and I've been lying to friends that I couldnt hand it in because my house didnt have internet over the weekend (over said weekend I did actually turn off wifi on all my devices to make that lie believable). And then someone actually broke my phone this last Monday so if I had the project done i couldnt hand it in anyways, because I needed my phone for access to Teams. So eventually on Wednesday, I'd messaged my teacher telling him I'm sorry for the delays in handing in my project and I'd lied to saying the no wifi thing, and id added the truth that I now couldnt hand it in because of the phone breaking, and id added the truth that i emailed the school's techs to help me gain access to Teams again. And then I turned uninstalled the app my teacher would need to contact me again (it's exams now so I didnt actually need to go to school after wednesday this week), and I resolved to code my project on Wednesday. And then I didn't again, ad again and now it's sunday and I havent coded it yet. And I literally have not thought about anything else this last week, and yet i can't bring myself to code this thing i know im capable enough of coding.

I feel so scared of somehow being found out, or the teacher having even more against me, and im scared of the school reprimanding me since i dont know if i could handle my parents knowing I've lied ect ect. And i kinda have just been feeling absolutely terrible about myself this last week because of this. It's not that i dont want to do this, or that i'm doing more fun things instead, or that i dont care, I'm just so scared about this subject in general because of everything regarding how I feel very behind in IT, and I'm scared of my teacher since he thought I was cheating, and I'm scared my parents will know, and I'm scared my friends will know, I'm scared of my loved ones finding out just how much i lie. I've been thinking recently that I might have become a compulsive liar over the last few years where I generally hide my mental health issues from everyone, and then later how i hid was essentially being emotionally abused for a year and a half by my "best friend".

Oh, i dont what to do at all. I even had a nightmare where I was horribly scared the entire time, and i realized the nightmare was because i spent the whole week scared before the nightmare, the emotion went into my dreams even.

Thank you all for reading, I really appreciate it.

Recently today I was caught using my phone on an exam and of course my teacher scolded me but left me with a warning and I didn’t study for this so I just want to ask what methods do u recommend on this platform as my finals are in another 5 months and I do not want to repeat this mistake again I do hope you all can help me

I still feel like Im the odd one out at college even though I've been there for 5 weeks now. I also hate college.

I feel so alone and I hate my life .

I was talking to someone from my old school on Monday and she said how was college going and I said it was going ok but only when the tutors are thire and she also said I seamed a lot happier. But I'm not any happier at college because I'm always having to fill out from about myself that they should all ready have.

im in those moments where I'm trying to sleep and suddenly a very embarrassing thought from the past surgers from hell to torment me, so i decided to write

when i was in highschool, an old friend of mine got in the same class as me. her cousin was also there. he was very quiet and lonely, quite like me. i started asking this friend about him, claiming i was very INTERESTED in him

for the record, i am autistic asf and barely know how to interact with people. or communicate. when i said i was "interested" in him, i meant that i found him interesting and wanted to befriend him, that we could be alike. she 100% assumed i wanted to date him.

i managed to make it worse somehow. since starting a conversation isn't my biggest ability, i started to leave candy on his desk. yeah. romantic right? well, silly little me DID NOT know it was romantic, and didn't mean it that way. giving little treats was something that i did and still do when i want to get close to someone. but yeah, everyone saw the gifts and thought i was REALLY into him.

was the guy pretty, at least? yeah he was. he was quite a pretty guy, almost girlish pretty, i gotta admit. and unfortunately i did admit it to my friend when asked about him. "compared to the other guys here, he looks really good". i kept digging myself further.

it wasn't until near the end of the year when i realized what I've done. everything i was doing led to people thinking i was head over heels for the guy. sometimes when i looked around, he was already staring at me. i suck at eye contact so i just looked for a second and then looked away, like a highschool love story except one of them did not realize it was one.

well, the year ended thankfully. we graduated and never saw each other again. yeah, I haven't seen either the guy or that friend in a while. and tbh, now that i sink into this embarrassment, i don't think i want to! (good thing I'm a total shut in now...)

i assume(and hope) that the guy did not develop any feelings for me. in fact, im afraid he got weirded out at most because, damn, i would be scared of me if i was in his place. hope he's doing good now.

no "confessions" happened, my friend didn't make fun of me for too long... it's just the horrible feeling of embarrassment that decided to torment me at night. i pray none of them remember my existence. bedtime now folks, thanks for reading!

Im going insane. Im losing my mind. I am over complicating everything. My head is full of all these negative hateful awful feelings about people in my life and i know that its my brain projecting stress and irritation onto them and they havent done anything. I know that. Yet still my head is full of these awful thoughts and im just so upset. And i keep talking about it to people and i actually need to shut the fuck up because i am going to make everyone hate me because im talking about it too much. All the good things in my life are like drowning in little ittt bitty bad things. There are SO many good things in my life. So so many more happy exciting things. But then these little things that are upsetting me are just burrying those good things. But its all my fault everything is my fault. My problem. My actions. My ignorance. My choices. My procrastination. Everything is on me amd how my brain works and what im doing and saying or not doing. Im really really fucking tired.

It is currently 2:30 AM and i have an essay ahead of me that I am still yet to write. It's not because I forgot about it - it's all I have been thinking of this day, but for whatever reason, I'll get side-tracked any time I start doing it. It's almost like I am allergic to getting work done. I always make an effort to do it, but it's almost like I make a counter anti-effort in a burst of inspiration for literally anything else. I feel awful writing it, and wish to be doing something else, which is why I am always doing something else instead. I'm past the point of being mad over this, because this isn't a first occurrence, instead I'm making the calculations that.. yeah i'll get a maximum of 2 hours of sleep today. Headaches, here I come!

I study international relations at university, and every day I feel like I'm not smart enough, I feel stupid. It's hard for me to read and understand the material, it's hard for me to learn English (and after all these years of studying it, I still don't fully understand how to use different tenses, etc.), it's hard for me to gain the knowledge that I will need in the future. I can't read and memorize material, I have some kind of concentration problem I don't know, and any noise distracts me. I read the material, but it doesn't stick in my head. I don't know how to write reports properly, I use artificial intelligence and hate myself for it, I want to stop, but I don't know how, I was never taught this, and I don't know how to learn to write them myself. I don't have time for anything. The last time I allowed myself to really relax was in the summer, almost two months ago, because since September I've been completely immersed in my studies. I spend all my time studying, and even so, I get minimal results. I have a group of friends, and for the second year (because I've been studying here for two years), I feel like the dumbest one in our group. I always get lower grades. They have more knowledge, and they study for free because they scored high on the national test, while I failed it, and now my mom has to pay for my education, and I feel guilty about it because I let her down, since she is the only one who earns money. Today we had to pass a document (we had to translate excerpts from the UNESCO Constitution from English into our native language and vice versa). I prepared for this as best I could, considering the amount of other homework I had. I tried very hard, and I was so exhausted that for the last few days I started crying over anything, especially because of fatigue. I thought that I would pass this test today and be able to relax with peace of mind over the weekend, finally letting go a little. But I failed. 7/10, although I really hoped that the teacher would give me an 8,( I don't think I translated that badly). What also upset me was that he said in front of my classmates that he wouldn't give me an 8 because, frankly, I did much worse than Vika (my classmate who doesn't like me very much and we are like rivals). I was so ashamed, I begged him, humiliated myself, asking to retake the exam, take another test and translate, anything, just for an 8. But he said to try my luck next week, on Thursday, with the other part of my group. I left so upset because this had already happened in my first year — I got a 7 and had to retake the exam (I could have stayed with that grade, but I have a perfectionist syndrome kinda, partly because of my family, so I also spent my time then in hysterics over that grade). Then I saw that my friend had written in our friends' chat that she had gotten a 9/10. That broke me. I'm happy for her, really, I just don't understand why I can't be the same. I don't understand why I couldn't get the same satisfactory grade, why I'm doing something wrong, why I'm never good enough, why I always come across as stupid. And I'm sick of how they (my friends) try to convince me otherwise. When they always get everything right. Never once did they needed to retake the exam. And then they tell me that the grade doesn't describe me. I would say the same thing if I had such knowledge, such grades. I don't want to talk to them now, I start crying when I go into the chat and read how great my friend feels now after the exam and how good she feels, how everyone congratulates her on her good grade, when I spent the day crying and thinking why I couldn't do the same. Did I not study enough? I don't get enough sleep because of my studies, I'm not hanging out with my friends (on the internet, we usually got together to watch a movie) because I'm busy studying all day long. And now I not only have to be ashamed next Thursday and retake the exam, but also do piles of homework. There is really a lot of it, every single day, and even several pieces, and now I can't take the burden of this document off my shoulders. I am very tired, in fact, I want to rest, I want to sleep well, I want to enjoy my life, but I can't. I no longer believe that I can achieve anything in life, that this is for me and that I will be successful, I no longer believe in anything. And I don't want anything. I pray to God every day that he would just take me while I'm sleeping, or even not necessarily while I'm sleeping. I just can't take it anymore, and I don't understand how others do it, how they manage. And now, even now, I can't relax, I'm doing my homework, and on the weekend I'll be doing work for the institute. And we don't have vacation until January. I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle this.

me and my friend have been friends for years ever since I first met her we have been inseparable. Honestly it was amazing since all my friends before that had bullied or ghosted me. Now it has been years and I made another friend who is suffering abuse I support her but she ignores me and doesnt care about me or this friendship when a year ago we were close friends have I done somthing wrong now my old friend we were still inseparable I do so much for her I sat with her when she was incredibly sick I stould up for her we did most things together I made sure everything was good for her. And what she does in return I'm joking around she threatens me, she hits me a lot in painful ways it just well it was usually there when I got irritating but now her and my other friends have been hanging out without me lying about her being at the library which i respected and I just found out and she even once I didn't want to be friends with someone but didnt feel ready to say it I told her that she still told them. she not only calls me weird but also I view her as a sister at this point but shes cancelling playdates and ghosting me and when we talk she is usually in class. I just want my friends back she also sided with my old bully who gave me self harming thoughts years ago which I still feel sometimes over me

I've just started at college and met a lot of new people and made a few friends.

I also feel like I don't fit in / like I'm the odd one out .

by that what I mean is I spend all lunch and brake in a separate room to everyone else as I find the noise really overwhelming and overstimulating and generally struggle in noiey inviroments.

will I ever find e anywhere I truly fit in. I also have Adhd and Anxiety. 💛😔🫶

why do people insist on being so cruel??? i swear, it's like they see someone enjoying their life and doing what makes them happy, and BOOM!! suddenly, they become their personal target board. i'm 17 and have always been a fan of Pokémon. it's like my haven, a place i escape to when the real world gets too insane to handle. catching Pokémon on my phone or swapping cards with friends is my way of destressing, yet all i get is judgment and mockery from the "cool" crowd at school. they just can't seem to comprehend the joy it brings me, so they mock what they don't understand. frankly, it's exhausting.

is it that hard for people to mind their own business?? everyone is always yapping about how young people should be free to express themselves but then turn around and bash us for the very choices we make! it's incredulous, really! collecting Pokémon cards might not be their thing, but why rain on someone's happiness parade??? what's the point in belittling others for their harmless passions??? i just can't wrap my head around it. life is complicated enough without people making it even worse by tossing judgmental comments around like confetti. it seems they'd rather wear masks of scorn than a simple smile of acceptance.

but even so, i'll keep my head high and continue loving my Pokémon world! it's not going anywhere, and neither am i. at the end of the day, it's not their approval i'm seeking!!! if anything, their constant negativity has only made me more resilient... i'll have you know that i've got a Charizard that could burn all naysayers to ash if it were real! and who knows?? someday they might realize the importance of being open-minded and accept that happiness comes in varied forms. for now, i'll let their words roll off my back like water off a Psyduck and stay hopeful for a more understanding future.

I think I'm such a fool. I'm going through a weird phase in my life. My grades are bad, I'm so insecure about my weight and appearance. My friends are acting weird towards me. My mom fights with me every day. School is so boring. Nothing's fun! In 10 days, I'll be turning a certain age for girls, but I don't feel happy. What's wrong with me? I don't feel like I have the right to feel sad or bad. I should be grateful for the life I have, right? And I also can't stand caring about what other people think. What if I fail physics? I think those are just girl problems. I don't know how to feel better. I think reading would be good. Are there any good books for 15-year-olds? I have to go, but I hope I'm not the only one going through "problems."

so their is a boy in my year and I've tried to be nice to him but he hates me for a mistake I made years ago ( I think maybe 3) and he is rude and tosses me around, now I have had a weird feeling it feels like crying but I stop breathing and my heart goes way to fast he worked with a main bully lets call him Osman he made me think I was horrible

also sorry I wont use punctuation

he told me I was a failure

I'm a weak trusting person

so all over the years people have left me or bullied me. because I have little things of skill

I am male btw its important because im friends with some girls all my male friends left so now people say I'm trans ( which is fine btw its just my school is homophobic) so I change my personality a lot too fit others but I'm still hated

and so everyone hates me bc I'm weird

so the bully Osman he comes gets a major which is the biggest problem 3 = expulsore basically

'so I remove that now he's nice to me but the other bully isn't he tosses my books around hurts me and its fine I tell a trusted adult

who is kind now today

the bully and osman I accidently sent his birthday invite to the year bellow us and that was a mistake I didn't mean it he didn't he attacked me and I ran of my friends ran to me saying they were hunting me down they had snithced to the trusted kind adult who new the bully was bullying me

Osman who after a year were friends with me betrayed me

and the teacher told me I did stuff wrong and to rub salt in the wound after knowing

the bully had

- nearly tossed my chromebook out the window which would have cost me to pay the school 700

- attacked me for years

- bullied me for years

- made me have self loathing for years

she called him a nice boy