School Stories

I can feel my bestie pulling away from me. he's been cold and unresponsive to alot of things and he left on read in a recent text I sent him about wanting to talk to him and sort things out

I just feel so burnt out. I'm on winter break but doesn't feel like a break because my mind can't seem to stop. there is constantly something going on and I'm just so tired of this

my friend and I got really close during the summer, but this semester we made some new friends who always joke about us "getting together" I can laugh the topic off but my friend seemed to take it too personally and that's what he started to pull away for real

we recently made a club in college and that brought a new side to our relationship because we had to be professional at times and I feel like he couldn't handle the balance and sort of cracked under that

it's just that he is an important figure in my life. he helped me grow into a more confident version of myself. he helped me speak up to people and to battle demons I never knew I had.

it hurts to know that, at the end of the day, I won't mean to him as much as he means to me

and I can't help but wonder what if the problem really is the relationship thing? what if we do get together and suddenly all this tension goes away?

Earlier this week at school, I had an experience that felt overwhelming, and I’m not sure how to explain it. At first, I thought it was a panic attack because my heart was racing, and I felt so on edge. But it went deeper than that. It felt like everyone was watching me—like every move I made was being scrutinized. Even thoughI looks around and everyone’s mouths were shut, I could hear whispering about how I just just die or how I’m walking weird or that I’m ugly. It felt like I had to control every little movement, or people would know that something was wrong with me.

Then, there was this moment in the hallway when I felt someone grab my shoulders. I turned around, expecting to see my friend, but there was no one there. I looked behind me more than once, but I still felt that pressure, like hands were there even though I couldn’t see them. It wasn’t just physical; it felt like someone was standing behind me, and the sensation wouldn’t go away.

My emotions were completely out of control. I couldn’t focus on anything, and my mind was racing so fast it was hard to process what was happening around me. When people tried to talk to me, it felt impossible to keep up with a conversation. I could only respond with one or two words, and even that felt like a huge effort.

It got so bad I’d look at a wall, and it seemed like it was moving, almost rippling. My brain would pick out random scribbles or patterns and turn them into faces or shapes, like it was trying to make sense of things that weren’t really there. It was beyond terrifying and terrifying, but I didn’t feel like I could explain it to anyone. But it felt like I was losing myself

After school, I went straight to my car, but I couldn’t even drive. I just sat there, completely, talking to myself. I’m not even sure how long I was sitting there—I lost track of time. Eventually, my sister called because she was worried about me not being home. Her call kind of snapped me out of it enough to drive home, but the feeling of being trapped in my own head stayed with me for the rest of the day.

Honestly, I'm just thinking about all my past decisions and how the people back then have affected me. And I thought to myself, you know, Joy and Denise are an amazing idea of toxic friends! (Joy and Denise are not their real names.) And like honestly, I dont remember all the details but I do remember the very important parts of this story. At the time, I've been friends with them for around 2 years, and Joy and Denise were very weird. Like they were pretty popular and like I now remember this, they were quite racist to me. (Mind you I'm Asian) And since like anime is from Asia so their whole ideal and sterotype of me was that I was a big time anime nerd (which I was but it was very intense as how they described it) And so basically, they would always doing imitation of each other, which they would always do weird anime poses, (which I didnt even do) so yeah. Also Joy's mom was racist to me, when she took Joy's phone, I was texting her. Her mom would always call me Chinese (which I am not just so yall know) And I would correct her because I felt like it was the best thing to do. She then still proceeds to call me Chinese. Oh and for the next experience, (TW: sexual harassment + rape jokes) So I was walking inside of the bathroom with them and then I went to go pee, as a normal person would do. They then climbed over the stalls and look at me pee. Literally. And then they would start making fun of me, asking why my pee was so yellow, how my ass was so white/pale. I had told them to stop look at me so I can go wipe. They closed their eyes for a moment and then proceeded to look at my ass and making fun of me. This also happened then I left the friend group for my own good and they would make fun of me around my new friends, in which they pitied me. Oh! and they would also force me to do weird things, like forcing me to twerk? Like honestly I actually hate myself for letting them guilt-trip into doing something that will be the top 10 most embarrassing things in my life. Oh and now currently, I'm sort of dealing with something bad as one of my friends, (who I honestly dont want to be friends with) We're going to call her Isa, Isa likes to um...slap my ass and then proceed to try to shove her finger up my ass and makes rape jokes, talking about how she was doing to "booty rape me" which I find quite uncomfortable from my trauma with Joy and Denise, but I think I think I will talk about Isa in a different story!

!vent!(it's kinda long, srryy)

Abt 3 years ago, I transferred schools. The first month was fine, I didn't really have any friends, but that was okay with me because I've always been shy and introverted. But the second month is when things took a turn for the worse. This really popular girl, who I never really paid any attention to, started picking on me for no reason. It's not that serious at first because she's just giving me looks and sneering subtle jabs at me... until she starts calling me slurs, pushing me and hitting me, fat-shaming me, and telling her inner circle of friends or whatever to bully me as well. It reached a climax when she and some of her friends ganged up on me and, uh, beat me. I'm a boy (kind of short for my grade, I'm 5'4, so they were able to get an advantage on me), however, so no one really believed me. Even when I showed the teachers the scratches, cuts, bruises, etc., all they did was email her parents. :/ At this point, I'm depressed (still am) and started not eating because her comments about my weight got to me (still do). I can't tell my parents because they have their own issues with themselves, each other, and at their jobs (we're not in a financially stable position, so I can't really change schools easily). About 5 months in(i think) and I'm at my lowest mentally and sometimes even physically as the popular girl would hit me with a variety of items. That's when he entered my life, he was also new and had moved from California, at first he would sit next to me at lunch and just silently eat next to me, then he would ask to partner up with me in school projects, and eventually we became friends. He would share his lunch with me if I forgot to pack mine or couldn't afford any school lunch, he let me come over to his house and tutor me for hours on his own time, always included (at first) me even when he gained new friends, and we had special nicknames for eachother that only we could use. He also defended me whenever the popular girl tried to bully me and her bullying became much less frequent. I love this guy and was scared to admit this to him because I'm also a guy and wasn't sure if he felt the same. This all changed the second year i think? he started becoming more distant, which was unnoticeable at first but then I spotted him with the popular girl. I felt betrayed because they were sitting next to eachother, at a secluded table, laughing and eating as if he hadn't witnessed her call me terrible names, punch me, and text me awful things. I was so freaking confused and confronted him about it. He shrugged it off and they became closer, and closer, and closer. Until, you guessed it, they announced they were dating. It got worst bc when she picked back up bullying me(sometimes i wonder if its even worse now) he's present for most of it and either stays silent or laughs/chuckles. I don't know what I did wrong. This is pretty much my everyday life now and I hate going back to school everyday. He won't even look at me without showing me the middle finger and laughing at me. I sit alone now and cry pretty much everyday bc I love him and I can't figure out what the fuck I did wrong. I've stopped eating again(sometimes for days at a time), I'm going comatose for most of the day, and my grades are dropping. I just want him back.

i don't have a real friend at school, they left me out, i dont know why!!!!! prob bc they think im weird.. but im not that weird!!! i have trouble communicating to new people, when i tried to talk to them, my voice gets smaller, my legs are shaking and im sweating! why is it so hard for me to communicate to other people? why cant i be like another people? why cant i be normal? i dont like people, i dont like it when they judge me for my interest, why cant everyone just accept me for who i am?????????????? i'm dumb, im scared of other people, i don't like adults, and i want everyone to give me all their attention but i also hate them.

I was supposed to graduate law school and take the bar this year but I failed my first and only subject with this terror professor. I was the only one who failed their class and I felt that it was a bit unfair. While they're a terror professor, they are admired by a lot of people in that subject field in law and they were called the gatekeeper (meaning they would really fail you if they think you are not ready for the bar).

Why do I feel it was unfair? Well, my batchmates who graduated and took the bar had two failing subjects (not the same subject as the one I failed) but they were allowed to have to take an exam to pass it. This professor didn't want to talk to me and deferred me to the Dean, and again, with their reputation as the all-knowing person in that subject, they didn't give me a chance. It was a really hard year for me as I was already preparing for the bar and I had to hide the truth for quite some time with my family as, again, this is my first ever failure. It didn't really help that a certain student also had similar grades with me but I was the one that had to get cut-off. I couldn't really continue to vent to my boyfriend (who is also a student and passed his subject - apparently he is this prof's favorite) and we had an argument about how I am not really blaming him for failing the subject but it kinda feels like it is because I am just so frustrated with myself.

I already retook the subject (with a different professor because they weren't available to teach it) and passed but now, they are saying that this terror prof might be my professory again next semester. We don't have any other sections as our law school is cutthroat so there really isn't a choice for me to do anything but take the subject. But I don't know how to cope. This person literally crushed my dream as there was no effort for them to give me a chance and I couldn't really move on as I only had a week before the start of the second semester and during summer, I had to help my friends who were taking the bar. It hurt, I felt deeply hurt. I don't know what to do.

I don’t even know how to start this, but it’s been bothering me for a while now. I keep asking myself, why don’t people like me? Like, what am I doing wrong? I try to be nice to everyone, but it feels like no one really wants to be my friend. And honestly, it’s starting to feel really lonely.

In school, it’s like I’m invisible most of the time. I’ll sit with people during lunch or in class, but I’m never the one they actually talk to. It’s always someone else. When I try to join the conversation, it’s like they don’t even hear me, or they just give me this fake smile and move on. I can’t tell if it’s something I said or if there’s just something about me that makes people not want to hang out with me.

I thought maybe I’m too quiet or awkward, so I tried being more outgoing. Last week, I went to this party that I wasn’t even sure I was invited to (I overheard someone talking about it and decided to just show up). I tried talking to a group of people, but they kept looking at their phones or each other like they were waiting for me to stop talking. One of them even got up and walked away while I was mid-sentence. It was so embarrassing. I ended up leaving early and crying in my car for like an hour.

My mom keeps telling me, “Just be yourself, and the right people will like you.” But what if being myself is the problem? Maybe I’m just boring, or annoying, or too weird for people to care about. I mean, I see other people with their huge friend groups, laughing and posting about all the fun stuff they do together, and I just feel so... left out. It’s like there’s this secret code to making friends, and I didn’t get the memo.

Sometimes, I wonder if people even notice me at all. Like, if I wasn’t there, would they even care? Or would they just go on like nothing happened? And if this was a reality show, what would people think of me? Would they feel bad for me, or would they be laughing at how pathetic I look trying to fit in where I obviously don’t belong? Maybe they’d just fast-forward through my scenes because I’m not “interesting” enough.

I’ve tried to figure out what I’m doing wrong. Maybe it’s the way I talk? Or the fact that I don’t know how to make jokes like other people? Or maybe I come across as too desperate? I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I’m trying so hard to get people to like me, and it’s just making things worse.

It’s not like I haven’t tried making friends. I’ve joined clubs, gone to events, and even reached out to people online. But nothing ever really clicks. People will talk to me for a little while, but then they stop responding or just fade away. I don’t want to seem clingy, so I stop trying, but then I feel even lonelier. It’s like this never-ending cycle that I can’t escape.

I wish I could just stop caring. Like, who needs friends anyway, right? But the truth is, I do care. I want to have people I can talk to, hang out with, and just feel like I matter to someone. But no matter what I do, it feels like I’m stuck on the outside looking in.

If anyone’s reading this and has felt the same way, what did you do? How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough? Or better yet, how do you get people to like you without feeling like you’re begging for their attention?

And if this really was a reality show, what would people say about me? Would they see someone who’s trying too hard and laugh, or would they actually feel bad for me? Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Is that really too much to ask?

15 year old here.

Although some people find me smart (and I can agree to a certain degree) it is a middle position. Advanced topics of mathematics, physics, computer science and etc. capture my interest, but I often navigate them worse than most people considered prodigies or anything alike. It's not a matter of just confidence, self-esteem and such as it is a quality I genuinely value and would love to have, is required for most of my interests, so it is not a situation where one grieves over lack of it without a reason. Typically, raw intelligence can not be drastically improved. Most I can do is educate myself, but that just does not feel enough.

What do I do? How do I cope with not being even nearly as smart as people from my social circle that I strive to be alike to?

My husband and I are parents to a wonderful 12-year-old daughter who has recently become the target of intense bullying at her school. The issue escalated quickly from mere name-calling to more aggressive harassment. A bit of background; our daughter was adopted, something we've always openly cherished as part of her unique story. Unfortunately, once this detail became known at school, the bullying intensified with classmates making cruel remarks about her birth mother not wanting her, despite the fact that her birth mother made a huge sacrifice due to her immense love for her.

The situation recently took a disturbing turn when our daughter returned home devastated, with two inches crudely chopped off her ponytail. This happened in class as her peers mocked and ridiculed her, compounding her humiliation and distress. The ongoing torment follows her through the halls daily.

My husband and I have reached out to the school relentlessly, through emails, phone calls, and direct visits to discuss the matter with teachers and the principal. Each interaction ended with vague assurances of "looking into the matter," but no real action followed. Seeing the toll it's taking on her—her anxiety, disrupted sleep, and pleas to avoid school altogether—we felt compelled to consider legal measures against the school and the bully's family in search of some resolution.

It was only when the threat of legal involvement was clear that the school and the bully's parents began to show a semblance of concern. The school has since moved the bully to a different class and the parents insisted they'd address their child's behavior. But can they be trusted? To me, these feel like temporary solutions, mere gestures to defuse the legal threat rather than a genuine commitment to resolving the issue.

Given the circumstances, most of my family believes I should pause the legal proceedings now that the school seems to be responding. Yet, I can't shake off the feeling that these actions are superficial, primarily aimed at avoiding litigation rather than safeguarding my daughter.

Imagine if our story were featured in a reality show, the intensity of the public's reaction could potentially sway the school into taking more permanent and effective measures. Would the dramatization and spotlight pressure the school administration and the bully’s parents into genuinely addressing the bullying issue or would it just make them more defensive?

So, am I wrong for continuing with legal action even though the school and the bully's parents now claim they’re addressing the issue?

So let me set the scene because it is a bit crazy, and I'm not even sure if I'm the one who's out of line here. I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I come from a Latin American background. I was born and grew up in Costa Rica until I moved at the age of 13. I still speak Spanish fluently, eat Costa Rican cuisine, celebrate all the local festivals, and hold Costa Rican citizenship. However, my parents are from Chinese descent, so yes, I am also Asian. Surprising, I know! But for some, the concept of being both Asian and Latina is hard to grasp.

The confusion heightened during a school event. I’m very passionate about musical theatre, and when my school announced they were staging ‘In the Heights,' which portrays a mainly Latino neighborhood, I was eager to be part of it. I auditioned for the role of Nina but was cast as Vanessa instead. I was super excited about it. But then, there was this girl, Heather, who also wanted Vanessa, and she was furious when I got the role instead.

Heather seemed either not to care to learn about my background or maybe chose to ignore it, but next thing I know, she’s spouting off that I had nabbed a Latina role from a "real" Latina. She ranted about how troubling it was for me, an Asian girl, to fill a role meant for someone with "authentic" Latina roots. As if things weren't bad enough, she started trash-talking me with her buddies, throwing around insults like “stupid Chinese” and “pick me.”

I hit my limit and decided to confront her about it. At first, I tried to calmly clear up that yes, Asian Latinos do exist (ever heard of Costa Rica?). I even mentioned actor Harry Shum Jr. as an example. But she refused to listen. The argument blew up when she kept saying I didn't look the part and that casting me was wrong, likening it to if she were to be cast as Mulan.

I lost my cool.

In the heat of the argument, I threw back that if we're judging by her standards, she shouldn't portray Vanessa since Vanessa isn't supposed to be FAT and UGLY. Yeah, it was harsh. But by then, I was frustrated with trying to get through to someone who had no regard for me or my background. She stormed off after that.

Now she's painting me as the villain, claiming I body-shamed her. I admit, the words were harsh, but was I supposed to sit quietly while she demeaned my heritage and perpetuated racial slurs? It feels like she started this by being so close-minded.

Imagine if this whole incident transpired on a reality show. The cameras capturing every heated exchange and each biting remark. Would the audience side with me, knowing everything, or would they see me as too aggressive, focusing only on the climax of our confrontation? Reality TV tends to twist narratives, so it's intriguing to think about how our story might have been portrayed.

I am wedded to Emily, and we've been inseparable since our university days. Emily pursued a degree in pharmacy while I studied dentistry, which is a rigorous five-year course followed by foundational training before one can fully qualify here. Emily wrapped up her degree in four years and began working sooner than I did.

One day, I discovered Emily had left her email open on our shared laptop, and I saw an application for a medical admissions test that she hadn’t mentioned to me. Confronting her about it, she shared that working in the pharmacy field made her realize it wasn't her passion. She now aims to return to the university to study medicine.

Currently, I'm in my trainee dentist phase, which means I'm not earning enough to support both of us if Emily quits her job to become a student again. This is particularly challenging since Emily has been the main earner for the past couple of years due to her pharmacy salary.

We've spent numerous months discussing the possibility of adopting a child, and Emily’s potential return to studying would undoubtedly delay these plans. We feel it would be unfair to adopt a child and not be able to provide the necessary attention they deserve.

Emily argues that she supported me throughout my studies and accuses me of being hypocritical for not supporting her educational dreams. However, I’m mostly upset that she applied for the medical test without discussing it with me first.

Though I'm not opposed to her pursuing her dreams, our current financial state makes this very impractical. We're both still paying off our student loans, plus rent, and my trainee salary isn’t enough to cover all our expenses. I've suggested postponing her studies for at least a year, but it's a tense situation since I don't see any feasible way to manage right now if she doesn’t.

Imagine if our ordeal were part of a reality show; the drama and tension would surely grip viewers. The cameras would highlight our domestic debates and the financial strain, appealing to the audience's sympathies and perhaps drawing polarized opinions on whether personal ambition should ever compromise a couple's stability.

Based on the story context, what would be your reaction in my place?

My father and his new wife, both having lost their previous spouses, found solace in each other's company when I and my soon-to-be stepsister were just about five years old. They met through a support group for widowed parents, or at least, that's what they've always claimed. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that their romantic involvement kicked off far sooner than they're willing to admit, possibly because they're uncomfortable with the idea of having moved on so quickly given the circumstances and having young kids involved.

Life for us kids morphed into a mesh of shared outings and sleepovers, blending our families even before we truly recognized what was happening. My stepsister, Katie, was a particularly reserved child, hypersensitive to any form of critique and exceedingly shy. I found myself almost forced into the role of her protector and confidante, responsibilities that felt cumbersome even at a young age. When our parents finally revealed they were indeed a couple, my frustration only deepened as I realized Katie and I were indefinitely bound beyond mere friendship.

Katie clung to me incessantly in school, trailing my footsteps which only amplified my resentment. My father’s idea of us blossoming into sisters seemed more a figment of his desires than a feasible reality. Despite his insistence, my protests about needing personal space and time with other friends fell on seemingly deaf ears.

The arrival of our half-siblings only intensified the household dynamics. While I adored them, it was obvious my affection wasn’t mirrored towards Katie, which didn't go unnoticed by my stepmother. Accusations of favoritism and causing discord amongst the siblings were hurled at me, even though Katie's own aloofness contributed to her isolation. Efforts to integrate her more into our lives through family therapy were short-lived, mainly because the sessions didn't align with what my parents hoped to achieve.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was their plan for Katie and me to embark on our college journeys together. Desperate to maintain my autonomy, I secretly coordinated with my grandfather to escape this overbearing setup. This June, I moved in with him, opting for a local community college instead, much to my parents' dismay upon discovery. The backlash was severe – accusations of deceit and selfishness were rampant.

If my life were part of a reality show, I imagine viewers might be fiercely divided. Some would likely celebrate my quest for independence, while others might criticize it as selfish and rash. It would certainly stir up plenty of debates on family dynamics and individuality versus family obligations.

Am I wrong for wanting to pursue my own path? Was it right for me to move out and avoid attending college with my stepsister?

I’ve signed up for a laundry service at our college where I shell out a single payment at the beginning of the semester, and they handle my laundry throughout the year. It's a hit among students here, and they collect the laundry right from our dorm rooms every week.

My friend, Julie, can't seem to wrap her head around this concept and constantly brings it up. Every time she visits and spots my laundry bag ready to go, she has something to say about it.

"Why would anyone pay for this service?" she often scoffs, to which my response always is, "Why would I bother doing something myself when I can easily pay someone else to do it?"

I suspect she throws these kinds of comments around often, which might shed some light on why she isn't exactly Ms. Popular. It feels like most people I know are signed up for this service. Her continual jabs are honestly starting to affect how much I enjoy her company.

Recently, she blurted out yet another gem: "What a waste of money. The laundry service fees are exorbitant, and no one can really afford it." I couldn't help but retort that I didn’t find it pricey, suggesting that maybe it seemed costly to her simply because she's not as well-off. I'm not strapped for cash, so I’m sticking with the service.

She was really offended when I pointed out her financial status, even though, let's face it, she isn’t rolling in dough. Was it wrong of me to state that? But then again, she is, objectively speaking. Am I wrong for just stating the obvious?

Imagine if this whole confrontation took place on a reality TV show. The viewers would probably be divided. Some might praise me for standing up for myself against constant negativity, while others might critique me for what could be seen as a flaunting of privilege or lack of empathy towards different financial situations. Reality shows thrive on conflict and this scenario would definitely stir the pot, sparking debates on social etiquette and the tactfulness of discussing personal finances in friendships.

I've reached a point where I really need some advice from outside my circle. Our school's athletic trainer, Laura, who joined staff two years ago, has always seemed exceedingly stern to me. Initially, I misjudged her demeanor as overly harsh, perhaps even aggressive. However, it turns out, she was merely insisting on basic respect. This became evident during a school meeting where numerous incidents involving her were reviewed. They even showed video footage from the school's security cameras, reassuring every parent there that the area was monitored.

The video revealed that the students behaved terribly towards her, often resorting to insults when she enforced rules. One incident stuck with me: a student required to take off their shoes for a balance test threw a tantrum when asked to comply. Eventually, the student removed their shoes but not without hurling a barrage of insults at Laura. Moreover, some parents unfairly criticized her for these actions.

Now, my daughter, Julie, who is a 15-year-old sophomore, is caught in a similar situation. She needed to complete a concussion test this winter to continue cheering. Laura had organized a practice session and scheduled specific times for each student to meet in her office. Unfortunately, Julie missed her allotted slot and tried to see Laura at the end of the day as she was about to leave.

Laura, sticking to her policy, refused to conduct the test then, which I found reasonable. Embarrassingly, Julie threw a significant fit over this. Now, Laura is on vacation, and until she returns, Julie can't perform her cheer routines, missing out on a lot of activities, especially with the upcoming Thanksgiving festival.

Julie is furious and wants me to challenge the school's decision. I declined, especially after viewing the security footage and seeing Julie's disrespectful behavior towards Laura. My wife disagrees and believes we should fight the decision, leading them both to think I'm being unreasonable.

There's genuine frustration at home now. But I keep thinking, what if our family drama was part of a reality show? Certainly, viewers might be divided. Some would likely argue that enforcing discipline teaches important life lessons, while others might feel sympathy towards Julie and criticize the school for not being more accommodating.

Heeeeeeelp meeeee

Recently, my mornings have transformed into battlegrounds thanks to my 7-year-old daughter, Clara, who has started throwing tantrums when it’s time to get dressed for school. Despite our efforts, like setting out her clothes the night before, she remains defiant. My wife heads to work early, leaving me to handle the morning chaos.

One morning, as usual, Clara refused to get dressed. I was already exhausted from the constant arguing and didn't have the energy to push her, so I decided to take a different approach. I calmly told her that if she didn't want to dress, that was fine, and that she could go to school in her pajamas. This took her by surprise, and she was unusually quiet during the car ride, seemingly unsure of this new development.

As we neared the school, the reality of going to class in her pajamas seemed to hit her, and she suddenly wanted to go home to change. However, I stood firm and told her we wouldn't turn back. Upon reaching school, after some initial reluctance, she went inside.

That evening, after my wife picked Clara up, I could tell she was upset but she didn’t say anything until later. She expressed that my decision made us appear negligent and embarrassed both Clara and our family. I tried to reassure her that it was a harmless lesson for Clara about the consequences of her choices, arguing that one day in pajamas wouldn't tarnish our reputations as parents. Despite this, my wife felt it was too harsh.

This incident got me wondering, what if this whole situation was part of a reality TV show? How would the audience react? It strikes me that viewers might be divided. Some may praise the approach as a clever parenting strategy to teach responsibility, while others could view it as too severe and humiliating for a child. The dynamic interactions and conflicting opinions might actually attract a lot of attention and buzz around the show.

Was my approach mean or simply a practical lesson in consequences?