School Stories

I'm really struggling in school right now. Everything is a group project for every single subject and it makes me want to cry as my anxiety gets cranked to 100 each day, and no one wants to work with me because I'm the weird girl, it's so humiliating. I can't catch a break either as teachers aren't sympathetic to my struggles at all, I know they can help but they don't... I just want to get this over with but I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever finish my career and we're only 3 months into the first year out of four. I wish someone would help me out, I wish I could focus more, and I wish I could have it easy for once in my life. Even getting to this point was so damn hard for me, can't I just enjoy my life? Everyone else seems to be doing fine. I want to be like them.

or just my life>? 17/05/25

suffering is damaging truly. i've noticed the signs of it personally for a long time now. but it lead to me thinking of what the cause was? being a teenager in the middle of an exam season in which i prepared for since the beginning of the year. i feel excluded myself from life. the beauty of it, the leisure of socialising with others, partying, late-night talks. i truly did dissocialise myself for petty grades. a letter i subjected my life too. i cut off majority of my friends and the remainder only talk to me because they're afraid i might off myself. and hopelessly, i do hate it. nobody wants to be alone- but it's better than standing with a group who pretends to enjoy your presence. this led me to spiral completely, i skipped days from school and managed my own subjects at home to avoid socialising, to avoid that gut-wrenching feeling of anxiety whenever someone outed your name- someone looked your way. and the fact is- i'm to pussy to say anything. i always was.

i was always one to receive compliments growing up which was heart-warming but led to me becoming more self-conscious on remaining in my beautiful standard. the one which attracted, who never cried, who glowed. but now, i've been to the hospital for my low blood pressure and shoulder pains which i had inflicted on myself. i fed myself junk for days then deprived myself. having a fast metoblism innately didn't work in my favour. it led me to depending on food to fill that voice in my head. the pain of school- the devastation of life, the desire to be more beautiful, to have people who liked me for me and not who i was before. and now, with rib pain caused by anxiety, i remain in the same position questioning is my life pointless.

Hi,

Today is May 16, 2025.

I've tried to ignore my feelings for a very long time now, I've been struggling between different situations, and I'm not sure how long would I be able to keep it up.

It is like today, all the bad feelings impregnated to my brian, are taking over my head.

Today, I feel ugly, fat, not a very successful person, I feel stuck, I'm not progressing, I feel lonely, I'm not a valuable person.

I feel insecure when I look myself in the mirror, I see an ugly person, like there is nothing I can do to change that, I don't like people to stare at me, as I feel, they are disgusted of what they are seeing. I'm financially broke, I have only enough money to eat and basic necessities.

In my job, I feel helpless, a nuisance. It is something new, so I don't have the skills required to execute in that role, but no one is helping, I don't like to bother my colleagues, but I don't understand what I'm doing. I tried to applied for a different job, but they are not contacting me, they are not interested in me, I've received only rejections (another thing to add to make me feel less valuable).

I work from home, so I don't really have so many people I can speak to, it is very difficult to see my few friends, and my sister is always busy, and I don't really like to bother them with my problems.

My spouse doesn't help me either, he doesn't make me feel supported. I feel stressed out around him. He doesn't make me feel loved. I feel he likes to control us and impose us, otherwise, he will get mad, start yelling and insult us, not only me, but my kids too. How I'm capable to tolerate this, what's wrong with me? There are some things we both like, like the music, anime, cinema, technology, but we lack some others, like the adventure, to know new places, to get to know new people. I know we are different people, and we are not supposed to like the same things, but I consider these things very important in my life. When we go vacationing, it turns very uncomfortable, because he begins to see negativity in people and place, he starts making a fuss over a simple thing, which makes me feel uneasy, I've decided not to go with him anywhere. He tries to minimize my older son (who is not his biological son), always highlighting his flaws, making him feel stupid, or useless. Actually, he tries to minimize everybody. I'm trying to understand him, because he had a very difficult childhood (abandonment), but I feel it is not fair for us to tolerate his behavior. I'm not sure if I should leave him, as I know even thought, I'm financially broken, he helps with the house bills and some of the chores.

My mother suffocates me too, she has been always controlling my actions, my motherhood, my adulthood, she doesn't let me be. I think I married, so I could scape from her, controlling my life. My mother was always at home to raise us, so she didn't have like a real social life, besides my siblings and me, so she spoiled us so much, mostly my little brother (who doesn't work nor study), and that's what we are afraid of my sons, as they are so spoiled by my mom. When I try to make distance, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her, for ignoring her. Like I'm attacking her. I'm not sure it was because of her, that I have so many insecurities, and complexities. She was always controlling my father, because my father was and still is a cheater and a sexist, but they are still living together, tolerating each other.

Could this be the reason I'm tolerating my husband too?

Am I guilt of my whole situation?

It's 6 am now. And can't tell of i can't sleep or Just don't want to. The past two days have been pretty bad. And i messed up. Again. Last two days i managed to get nothing done on my list. I washes my hair after a long time but that's about It. And i feel so stupid and so ashamed. I though i was making progress but i made a step foward and two backwards and wasted all this time and messed up my schedule. School was exhausting, my mom Is obssesed with a diet Plan and trying to drag me along ( i want to be supportive but i honestly can't deal with a diet or her constantly talking about It right now.) I'm behind again. The weather Is shitty. Food doesn't taste right. Clothes feel uncomfortable, and sleep makes me feel more tired and more ashamed.

Okay, so like, why does everyone hate me? Seriously, I don’t get it! I mean, I try to just vibe and be chill, but whenever I walk into a room, everyone looks at me like I’ve got three heads or something. It’s NOT cool, honestly! The other day in class, I said something about how I thought the cafeteria pizza was, like, gourmet or whatever, and everyone burst out laughing. I totally didn’t mean to sound like an idiot—but hey, who doesn’t love cheesy carbs?! They went on about how I’m delusional or whatever and even my so-called friends were laughing too. Not a single person backed me up. Totally feels like being a ghost in my own life. I mean, I heard one popular girl whisper, “Ugh, she thinks she’s so funny,” right in front of me. Like, what’s up with that? Can’t we just have a little fun without being judged? This one time, I was just chillin’ on my phone, and this dude walked up to me and asked if I was looking for a friend; I didn’t know if that was a compliment or shade? It’s exhausting, man! I just don’t understand how these people can be so cruel over nothing! Why can’t we just be nice to each other? If you think I’m weird, just say it, don't make it a group thing; people suck!

But then, like, I was scrolling through TikTok, right? And I saw this girl talking about how people hated her too, and she said, “Their opinions don’t matter, just live your best life!” Suddenly, I felt inspired. Like, maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s them! I mean, who died and made them the rulers of the universe? I’m just here trying to get through high school with a decent GPA and maybe have a little fun. So what if I wear funky clothes and like quirky movies? We all have our own vibes, right? Besides, I CAN'T be the only one who feels this way; like, lets be real! I can tell the popular crowd is so fake anyway, just pretending to be perfect and sipping their iced coffees. I think it’s hilarious when they trip up and act like total dorks—maybe we all need a bit of awkwardness, huh? So maybe instead of focusing on the haters, I’ll just be true to myself and own it! Who cares if they think I'm lame? I’d rather be lame and happy than cool and miserable! And hey, if anyone else feels like I do, let’s band together and form our own crew of misfits! We’ll be the ones who actually have fun instead of worrying about stupid opinions; life’s too short to be worried about what others think, right?

hey y'all! I'm signing off for the summer! (we have to turn in our computers) so I will see you guys later!!!!!!! cant wait to tell more crazy stories!

Hi ive just been feeling really shitty lately. My grades are lower than they ever were before and i cant seem to get my life together. Im a sophomore in high school. In the first term of my sophomore year i got 5 Fs. I didnt know where i went wrong but i told myself i’d try harder. Obviously this was the first time i’d gotten such bad grades ever. I went home and i cried to my mom. I wasn’t crying over my grades i was crying about how my father was going to handle it. I could hear him yelling at my mom from his room saying shit like “she never studies” or “shes just lazy”. Truth is ive been asking my mom to pick me up early from school almost everyday and ive been absent so much. Ive been in and out of the hospital. So the stress from that day was a lot, i even passed out in the bathroom for 2 hours until my dad found me (he said i was being dramatic and just wanted attention).

In the second term i tried to show up to school as much as possible. It was hard but i pushed through. I was so scared after what happened in the first term i told myself I’m not going to go out and see friends, even on weekends. So for over 2 months i stayed home and studied. I even got multiple tutors to help me. Even after all that hard work i got 3 Fs and 2 Ds. I was crying harder than i was in the first term. I genuinely cried so much my head was throbbing. My mom told my dad about my grades, he was angrier than before. He kept yelling at me and telling me I’m a failure and that he wanted to hit me but he was holding himself back. I was crying the whole day, i talked to my girlfriend as she tried to reassure me but it really didnt help much. That evening i texted all of my friends ily and spent over 2 hours writing about 14 letters and i tried to end it all. One of my friends and my gf stopped me. I said i wouldnt do anything again but i genuinely dont feel like living anymore. If i dont take myself out then my dad will.

It’s currently the third term. I doubt im passing this year. Ive already repeated 9th grade over 2.5 marks. Now im scared i repeat this one. I swear im trying hard but it seems like all the time and work i put into this isnt paying off. Im in a public school, and where i live our grading system takes 80% of the final exam mark and 20% of the mark from the teachers (all the tests, hw, assignments etc.). My marks are never this low. Every time i get a test paper back something in me dies. I got my math paper back today (which i spent a week studying) and i got an 8/20. I genuinely felt like crying. No matter how hard i work everything just doesn’t work out for me.

I disabled most of my accounts. I blocked most people. I dont wanna talk to anyone. Im open to the idea of getting therapy but if theyre going to tell my parents everything then im not gonna talk to them. I really feel like my mental health is going down. I feel like shit everyday and wish it would all end soon. Im supposed to graduate next year with my gf and my other friends but the fact i had to repeat 9th grade took me a year behind. Now im scared to fail 10th grade. How much stupider can i be

(I'm a teen female) Once a month, we have these small mental health sessions where the same guidance counselor comes in to discuss a mental health topic. Today, she talked about anxiety, and it literally made me realize I have been having mini panic attacks. Like whenever I'm called on, even if I was raising my hand, I will burn up and I feel so anxious and like I'm about to literally explode. Like the heating up starts from my chest and goes almost all the way up. I thought I was just nervous but I guess not. Also I did not say anything about this to the counselor because Iliterally did not want to say any of that in front of people. I probably will another day because I meet her every Monday.

Do you ever have that weird feeling in your body when you are in a group of people/a busy room with people where you feel like you don't belong in that place/moment or where you just feel invisible like a waste of space or a disappointment? that basically sums up me right now or a lot of the time.

story: So last night I went to my sisters high school for her banquet "BAND banquet" (my sister is in band/matching band so its like her "awards day" but for highschool/middelschool bad) It was me, my sister and my parents. when we got there our parents brought food and went to set it up. my parents friends MR and MRS P needed help checking people in at 6:00 and give tickets. so our parents when to the front doors to help.

my mother told me and my sister to stay where we are and watch our "stuff" (jackets and umbrellas) and as soon as they left my sister got up and I asked "where are you going??" she said: "To go find my friends." me; "why? her: "because I can" me: "but mom told us to stay here" her; "She didn't say that." me; "whatever just go-" (we started to argue so I just said go) I was upset because she wasn't supposed to leave even though shes older and she left me to be more mature and watch the stuff because I know If I left to wonder my mom would yell at me and my sister so I knew someone had to stay and I didn't feel like arguing. so basically people came in and started sitting and hanging out, kids being with their friends and my sister with hers. I started to get lonely seeing people so happy and looking like they belonged unlike me...eventually it was time to eat food, people got called up to go by tables. I had to wait for my dad to get my food so I could eat. still by myself My dad eventually came and I got to eat. my dad went back to helping I was by myself eating my dads cooking talking to myself acting like my family was with me and my dad asking how the food/cupcake tasted. and when I was done I felt sad and so alone while my sister had fun with her friends and eventually my mom came and was mad at my sister Abit for being with her friends. my mom came and ask; "have you been sitting by yourself this whole time??" me; "yeah" her: "you didn't have too, you could have come down and hangout with me." me; "but you told us to stay with the stuff and I cant leave it'" she eventually went to get her food and she/my mom sat with me and asked how my food was trying to make me feel better. and that's that.

I feel like my sister always does this. leaves when she feels like it or "change her mind" when watching our dog and cause an argument or make things unfair (keep note shes the older sibling, I'm the younger one) I feel like I have to be the adult between us and do all the adult like stuff when shes almost 18 next year and i'll only be 15. Its like she takes advantage of me so she can do her thing. even though shes the one that wants to do things "fair" when all she does is leave me to "baby sit" by myself and makes me feel wasted or like not important in anyway when I've done so much to be noticed in school, for others and my own family.

I just don't know. maybe I'm to hard on myself or my sister.

thoughts? (no negative thoughts or comments please)

So I'm at school right now and this week is my last full week of not only 8th grade or middle school but also my last full week at the school I've been at my whole life (past information: I moved to my state I'm in when I was 6 and been here more than most my life) Note: My school is Elementary and middle school (kindergarten-4th, 5th-8th) It's weird that I'm about to be at the end of a chapter in my life. am I even ready for this? I'm also scared to go into high-school cuz I'm worried I have to start fresh and make new friends which I struggled with when I first moved here. I don't want to lose the friends I've gained. but I'm excited because the people in the area are really nice and I love the high school. its like..I'm finally starting my life. for real this time......win or lose.

It's currently 4.30 am. And i can't sleep because of guilt. Because i haven't done any of the things I was supposed to and i feel like i dissapointed myself and i'm afraid i'm dissapointing others too. I wanted this year to be different, to not get myself in the same mess, but i made and even worse mess in the end. I've been feeling so tired and burnt out for almost two years now and i've trying to get out of It since, i've tried routines, habits, apps, everything to be more productive and actually get back on track but It Just keeps failing. I feel tired, and end up procrastinating and then i get anxious, start pacing around or scrolling and hiding in bed, and then i can't sleep at night knowing i'm ruining everything. My grades are only getting worse and i feel like i'm failing. And i feel so stupid. Because It should be easy. It was easy before. But then i messed everything up. And now i can't fix. Now more and more things are coming up. People expect things from me, and i don't even know where to start. My Mom expects me to at least be decent in school but i can't even do that. There are lot of tests right now and their all going worse than the other. I was forced to make the PowerPoints in out study group even though i said no. Multiple times. And i got set up to do even heavier lifting in the journaling club of school, and now i'm supposed to set up whole thing. When my 'mentor', the one who's supposed to teach me, ghosted me and hasn't done anything to start or help at all. I know It's my fault but i Just feel so tired. It's all too much and i'm too stupid to handle It. I can't do this. I Just want to hide.

so I'm in band rn, and we're about to go to a theme park. when I said I didn't get a permission form from her, she started going off on me about how I couldn't keep track of anything, how I don't use my brain, etc. I hear this from my mom a lot, so it didn't faze me, until she said I was gonna end up a high school dropout and never succeed with how I'm going. the thing is I'm at my best mentally, so this really hurt. brought me down a few notches. I dunno, I may be stupid, but its just painful hearing that from a teacher that was so nice to me last night during our concert.

I've mentioned this guy in one of my stories before...classmate, me being introverted in general, him being annoying and full of himself, a social butterfly, large group of girlies happy to engage with him, me having some odd eye contact moments with him that make me question- what on earth is he thinking about?? what does that look mean? what are his eyes speaking and and why is he looking at me, I don't speak so like leave me alone? and look I know it might sound like I'm just going on for nothing cuz I feel high of myself now that someone is noticing me whatever whatever, but trust me that is not what I want. I just wanna be there-silently existing, do my work, spend time with friends and go home.

Idk how to explain, but the locking of the eyes is just ... weird? odd? awkward for me? uncomfortable? I've been told it's because I'm trying to figure out what he's thinking and that I'm thinking too deep or serious about this, he might not even be thinking anything etc etc.

the thing is, I hate that he has been randomly popping up in my head- not in the crush way, that's not me. honestly I'm scared to even say more in case his on this, which I doubt, but there's so many other people I could be thinking about, so many other people I could be getting annoyed with. this morning, I caught his smile while he was looking dead straight somewhere on my t-shirt, trying to figure out the words or whatever . generally one would stare back at that kind of person, but I felt uncomfortable and looked away, possibly looking soft? why must I feel anxious being around him, fearing being judged, and judged for what exactly. ugh it's killing me, and I need to get him out of my head, and not let his presence bother me. how?!???

It's 8 am right now and in a few hours i have a physics test i'm not prepared for and now i'm panicking. I've been trying to study for it for ages but there have been some many last minute problems and that I haven't made It. Yesterday my whole day got messed up and i had no time and so i tried to study during the night but i was so tired that I crashed and now i only have a few school hours before It. And i feel like an idiot because i know It's my fault, but i'm just so tired and there's just so much stuff to keep up with all at once i don't know what to do first. I'm so tired i don't want to this anymore, i don't want to do anything, i just want to sleep for the rest of my life.

I never had a full grip on what I want to do with my life, but its gotten even worse recently. My tablemates at lunch aren't going to the same school I am next year, and its hard to find anyone who 1. even supports queer people such as myself and 2. shares a common interest with me. my old tablemates hate my guts (maybe for disliking genshin due to it being problematic, but idk) and even after high school, I'm completely lost. the only thing I really am passionate about is freelance art and animation, and its hard to find a job that lets me do that on my own. plus my grades aren't getting any better, and I might not even graduate. I hate being stuck so fucking much. trump is NOT helping btw, I cant even transition when I turn 18 anymore, nor can I serve in the military like I wanted.