Dating Stories

yo i kno this prob sounds dumb but i swear i cant stop thinkin bout this girl i went on a date with like 5 years ago. like for real it was just one date, ONE, and i was only 15 but that whole thing stuck in my head like glue. i’m 20 now bro. twenty. i’ve finished high school, started college, got a job, met other girls, like life kept movin on but my brain?? nah, it stayed right there in that one lil coffee shop where we sat n laughed like idiots bout dumb stuff. nd i dont even kno if she ever thought of me again after that day but here i am, five years later, still wonderin wht could've happend. like we didn’t even kiss or anything, it wasn’t even deep, but i still remember what she was wearin, how she smiled, the way she looked straight in my eyes like no one else ever did since. nd i hate it cause it’s blockin me now. like i go on dates now n i always compare. always thinkin “she wouldn’t say that” or “it didn’t feel like this back then.” it’s messin up everything. like i wanna move on, i wanna feel something real again but it’s like my heart’s still parked in 2019 waitin for a moment that’s never comin back.

i tried forgettin her, swear i did. deleted her socials, stopped bringin her up, even told myself she prob don’t even remember me, but it don’t help. it’s like she’s just there in my head rent free 24/7. nd it’s not even just her, it’s like what she represented, u feel me? that lil spark, that feelin of maybe being seen for once, like i wasn’t just some background dude. nd now every time i talk to a new girl, it feels forced, fake, like im pretending to care when all i’m really doing is wishin it felt like that again. nd then i feel bad cause these girls didn’t do nuthin wrong, they just not her. i know it’s dumb to be stuck on someone from when i was a kid but i cant help it. maybe it's cause nothin better came after, maybe cause i never really healed from the way it just ended and she ghosted me like it meant nothin. i try to act chill bout it but inside i’m lowkey still hurt. like why did she smile at me like that if she was just gonna disappear? nd now i sit here thinkin maybe the problem’s me. maybe im just not built for love or whatever. or maybe i just been holdin onto a fantasy too long n it’s time to let it die. but man… why can’t i stop thinkin about someone who probably forgot my name?

I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this story in. I'm not exactly dating these people, and the reasons for that are super complicated.

My ex, Gunner, made me feel horrible. He said he couldn't date me because of my multiple personalities, which I get, I have mood swings, but I'm pretty sure what he was experiencing was just emotions. And also because I was adopted, I was "taken out of my natural habitat and who knows what I'd do." Which was said by Gunner's mother. Me and Gunner had only been dating for a week. I had to watch him date another pretty girl, who he stayed with longer than me. Me and Gunner only lasted a week, but we'd been talking for a month. After they'd broken up, she had a similar experience, saying he was extremely racist to her, and didn't want to be with her because her anxiety was something he couldn't "handle".

I sometimes wonder if maybe it is me who is doing something wrong. I know Gunner and me just weren't meant for each other, and I know something is wrong with him because I talked to Valeria (His ex). Gunner went around saying I was a bad kisser, which I know for a fact isn't true. He just needed something to around talking about, even though he'd broken up with me because of my background...? He's not fooling anyone.

A few months ago, I was talking to this boy named Jeremiah. We were good friends before we started talking, and my sister is the one who decided I should try to get with him. We'd only been talking a week before he ghosted me, and stopped talking to me. I heard from my sister, who promised that Jerry wasn't going to be like my ex, he said he "just wasn't feeling it."

We were talking today in pottery, when he told me that he thought I hated him. The way I heal is: I totally ignore the person while I cry and be sad over them. That's just how I am. Yeah, I see that as a red flag, but I can't help caring for someone I think cares for me too.

He told me today that I wanted to have a friends with benefits situation, and his friend Ethan started yapping about it, and telling Jerry how good of an idea it was. I just sat there. I know he's just going to use me with this whole benefits thing. And the reason I say "use me" is because that's what he's doing.

I had just gotten out of talking to someone, which only lasted a week. Wow, are you guys surprised? What's the pattern here? Hmm...

This guy's name is Tanner. Tanner and I have known each other since the seventh grade. He told me he's liked me since last year, but then just on Saturday, told me he's lost feelings for me. Okay, but how do you lose feelings that fast? It was clearly lust, not love. And he's been waiting to do stuff with me for a year, it's obvious. At first, I was so happy he liked me! Then, I heard the stories of him getting with girls, and as soon as he got what he wanted, ghosting them. Did I listen? No. I gave him what he wanted... I'm sure you can image what I mean. And, he ended up leaving anyways. Then, to make matters worse, I saw him, the next day, with his hand between Cory's thigh. Holding her hand in the halls, looking at her like he looked at me. Like he really likes her. Like he really liked me.

So, when I say that Jerry is using me, it's because of what happened with Tanner. Literally a month ago, this boy whom I really liked, we "did it" but I'd only done it because I really like him, and I thought, if I did it, he would like me too. But, he didn't. It was really sad, because like everyone else, he ended up ghosting me too. Guess how long we'd been talking! A WEEK!!!

So, remember when I said it must be me who's doing something wrong? That's because of things like this! It must be my fault! I was talking to Jerry today, and he said Tanner broke things off because I'm too nice.

Guys, my love language is physical touch, and gifts. Tanner told me he didn't like me anymore, according to Jerry, because I'm too nice. I'm too nice? What? That's ridiculous. I know I can trust this source because him and Tanner are best friends.

Oh, and also, when Jerry was talking about that dumb friends with benefits thing, he said that if it did happen, he couldn't tell anyone, and that it is supposed to be secret. So, wait, he wants to do it with me, but I'm not allowed to talk about it?

It just shows he's literally ashamed to be with me.

All of this has been hurting my mental health. It's coming to a point where I feel kind of insane? And it's not like I'm doing it on purpose, I just really don't know if I can handle my heart being messed around with. It's only been a couple weeks that this has happened to me. I hate going around from guy to guy, but I'm also tired of being played.

That's not even the worst part about this.

I can't even tell anyone about this, which is why I'm glad there are sites like these...

So, we all know - lots of teens have Snap chat. I've been talking to this guy on snap, who actually just recently told me his age today. I guess it's kinda creepy because all along I've thought he was my age. He told me he was going to buy me a bunch of stuff, and that he loved me, and that we were going to get married.

Okay, so what's the problem, just block him! RIght?

Right.

I wish I could say that it was actually that simple. It weird. I know he's mentally ill, because he's 39 and I'm 15. But I just can't ignore him. It's not hurting me to say goodmorning to him, right? And besides, he listens to me. It's not like he's asked for my address, or for me to send to him, so he's not harmful. And although its really weird, and you guys probably think it's gross, its not like he's grooming me, right? And, sadly, I really like the attention. It would never work, because he's like 23 years older than me, but it's kinda nice he's the only person who hasn't made fun of me for being, well, me.

And I know he says I'm his fiance, and he'd do anything for me, and he wants to come see me in June... but I can't let him go. I do that, and I'm just as bad as all the guys at my school who are trying to ghost me. Why can't we just find people who like me for me? Who want to be with me? I want someone who wants to be with me, all the time. Who can't stand to be with out me. Who likes to hang out with me, who will let me braid their hair, laugh with them, has jokes, good style, can help me with my homework. Someone who won't leave just because, I have a good butt (Which was said by my friend Daryl who just wants to do me too) or because they just weren't feeling me, or because I'm adopted or well...

Because I'm too nice.

You see, cuz my parents are getting tired of me. They don't really care what I do anymore. But it's sad, because at these moments all I need is my mama. We found out that she might have cancer. I don't know if I'm glad, or if I'm scared. Why would I be glad? Because I was almost taken from her because of abuse. So why do I want her? Where was my bio mama when I needed her? Lynda was there for me, not Dominique. I've started taking pills again, sleeping more, smoking, eating less. I actually hate sulking around all the time and hating life. But, when you've been spit out and thrown away like a wad of ABC gum, I can't held but feel how other people treat me. And I wonder, does Cory even see how she looks? Getting with someone who does things with girls and then dips?

Or maybe she's blinded by love, like me.

Well, I'm rambling now. But you all get the point.

So what do I mean it's going to be the last?

The last time I ever said I love you ever again.

Because no one ever deserves my love.

And no one ever will.

Okay, so about the end of the school year last year I met a boy, we were long distance but we only live 40 mins away but neither of us had a way to see each other so we never did but we loved each other so so much. He used to be a drug addict but he started going to therapy for it ( I pushed him to go because he started looking very unhealthy.) eventually he quit and he’s been clean for a couple months now (from what I know) long story short he ended up ghosting me and we haven’t talked since last year. At least that’s what I thought, well I was under very strict rules at my house, I didn’t have a phone, all devices at 6pm in moms room, no seeing friends on school days, bedtime for me was8pm, stuff like that but I had an idea just to use Gmail to text him on my school iPad on an email I had made, so that’s the only thing we could communicate on, so FaceTiming became google meets, changed his name on it to Hailey so if I was on a call with him my parents would think it’s a girl, going out to friends was sneaking off and having them cover for me, yk the good old “strict parents raise sneaky kids” hits hard, but he’s changed since then, a lot. See, I’m 16 soon to be 17 and he’s newly 18. He had a scar on his chin that I’ve never seen before and I saw it and asked him about it, and before he answered I said that I have to same kind on my chin as well, saying it was from when I was a baby, when I asked after he then said “I got shot” i was so confused and scared, was it from a cop? Was it a robber? What happened? Hes completely changed his slang and his personality, yea I would be happy but he didn’t change for the better. He wasn’t the sweet, sensitive, loving boy I knew. He was more like a gang membe. He kept telling me how someone’s currently trying to kill him, and I’m scared that since I’m with him now I’m gonna get involved. Like what if me and him are at the park and that person sees? Will they come after him only or me as well? I’m not sure where this is even going just, I needed to vent about how much I miss how he used to be. He’s trying to make me do gang signs, he’s listening to drill rap (murder/drug music) and I’m scared he’s gonna never be the way he was. He use to tuck in his phone when he had to go. (mostly around 9 but I got super tired around then so he’d tuck in his phone till he got back) he would stare at me with love and I could tell, his eyes would look at me like I was the only person in the world, the big eyes, the smile, the eye contact, everything. He’s started calling me ml, I think it’s super cute because he acts all tough and scary but around me he’s sweet, he lets his guard down and i can just feel his love. But I felt it way more back then. For example, one time I told him that a song reminded me of him (what would I do by strawberry guy) and I told him to listen to it. He then replied 2 minutes later, calling me and crying that I make him feel so special compared to literally anyone and how he feels like I love him more than I could anyone, he even texted me saying “I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you mad.” I asked why and his answer crushed me in the best way possible. He said, “I said sorry because I don’t want to lose you. You have a special place in my heart and it’ll never leave even if you do.” And I broke down crying right there right then. He doesn’t even know it either, then when I re-showed him the song a little ago he said “oh yea I remember, nice song” and I felt my heart being squeezed. Nice song? What happened. I’m wondering if I did it to him, since I left him (I didn’t as I explained) and then he went on to change his behavior because he didn’t have anyone to talk to. But now he’s not responding and he still hasn’t. (3 days and he hates not talking to me and texts me every time he can) I don’t wanna be ghosted again or left. Otherwise we got close again for no reason. What do I do here?

so I like this boy named henry but I don't know if he likes me back and i wanna ask him but I don't know because so theirs this guy and i'ma just call him j and him and his friends are known for telling people that person a like person b when it's not true. so I'm was walking to my class (keep in mind I have every class with j but I don't have any with henry) and j called my name so I turned around to see what he wanted and he asked me if I wanted put on's with henry but I was already upset with him(J) so I had rolled my eyes and said yeah but as I said that henry started say that he doesn't get down like that but i kinda ignored it and continued walking to class. so, after a few minutes I was already in class but j wasn't so after a few more minutes j walks in the class and tells me that henry said that he was ready when I was and he wanted to know if I knew if I could cook but I was still mad @ j so I said I'm fucking Hispanic why the fuck would I not know how to cook. so fast forward to like maybe a few days later i was outside my school and henry was standing with his friends infront of me and I look up and he was already looking @ me, and we kept eye contact for maybe a second or two then we both look away. so, moving on to lunch time and I told some of the girls @ my lunch table and then we went to go get lunch and they kept telling me that he was looking over here (the lunch line we were standing in) then when we sat down, they said that we was looking @ me a lot. so again, fast forward to today and it friday and i wanna ask him but im scared

I met a guy online a little bit ago and we quickly discovered we had a lot in common and liked talking to each other. We eventually made plans to meet in person. (We confirmed we both were who we said we were and did all the proper safety steps like meeting in public etc) I traveled to where he lives. ( I know now that I should have had us meet halfway in a neutral location but it is what it is now.) we met in a public location and we had hugged and kissed and chatted a bit. He was very sweet but it was a little awkward. I figured maybe we just needed to get used to the in person dynamic. Things improved after a little bit of talking.I was feeling more confident. This is where things went south, I know I shouldn’t have but I did let him convince me to hook up with him at my hotel. I was incredibly uncomfortable and he even said he could tell I was uncomfortable. Not to mention it hurt horribly because he was very rough. He also said right after that he kept having flashbacks of his ex during it. We met up the next day for lunch and right in public he tells me he felt nothing when we did romantic stuff but he did like hanging out with me. I was floored by his coldness and the fact he would do that in a crowded restaurant. It was a relief in a way though because I felt uneasy about him to say the least. Intraveled home early and we have spoken since and he once again told me he could tell I wasn’t ready and that I was uncomfortable when we hooked up and that I was “lucky to have discovered that with him and he was caring enough to be patient with me”. I had tried to bring up some feelings I had from the whole thing like that it effected my confidence and he said it wasn’t fair to him for me to have feelings about the whole thing because he was moving on too. Am I wrong for feeling so torn up and gross about this experience? What do you think?

I'm 19F and my gf is 21F, my best friend lives with me (M23). he started acting weird when me and my gf started dating but i thought nothing of it. Untill he started saying bad things abt my gf or pointing out "Red flags" randomly; She is one of the nicest peolple ive met and we've been dating for 5 months. He started saying he didnt want her over at the apartment anymore and such. We got in a fight over it but i eventually folded and now i stay at hers most nights. Untill last night when i got a call from my gf that at her work he went up to her and told her to break up with me. He called me a whore and said she was too good for me and that she needed to end it. i was furious and now im staying at hers full time because she knows he was lying.

I’m dating this guy right now. He’s absolutely amazing and deserves the world but I want to break up with him. Not because I don’t love him anymore. The thought on breaking up with him makes me sad. But I’m not in the right mental space right now. I feel exhausted and tired and just done with everything. I told him multiple times that I feel like that before dating but he kept pushing it and now we’ve been dating for a couple months. I made the decision to break up with him because I think it’s best for me and him. How do I do it?

Me and my ex girlfriend were in a relationship for two and a half years. Until we hit a wall. Wed been camping and her parents loved me and so did she. But unfortunately as she moved off to uni we realised we were in two very different places. I loved that girl with all my heart and wouldve married her given another couple years (were both 19) and i know she loved me but it just wasnt meant to be it seems. It hurts to lay in bed and realise shes not the smiling pretty face next to me anymore and realising ill never be able to give her a long warm hug again. All those nights spent listening to vinyls and slow dancing and chatting and just loving eachother comes flooding back. After she left it felt like my hesrt was torn out and taken with her never to return. Shes moved on and has a boyfriend already but i just cant because id devoted myself to her and to moving in together and getting married and having kids etc. Hell even moving to her home country for a more peaceful life together. Now i just feel so.... empty.

a dude cold opened me a few days ago and asked me out i panicked and gave him my info/said yes (i know! not good for either of us!) and yesterday we went on a date. he was perfectly nice and im sure it "went well," but i truly wasn't feeling it at all. i don't know him, i found out he was 28 (im 19, we're both college students and he saw me on campus so it's not like a creeper thing), im just not that interested in dating... i turned down a second date last night over text and i have yet to look at his texts back. i dont feel bad about turning him down, but i just feel really embarrassed and guilty about the whole situation. it sucks!!!!!

I have a gf, and we've been dating for a couple months. I'm kinda uncomfortable with the lovey dovey things but sometimes I'm cool w it. Today I visited her place and told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship and that I may be aroace, this wasn't the first time this happened tho (Our relationship has been an off and on switch mostly because of me, I keep telling her that I'm not really ready for a relationship or that I'm not attracted to her but I still get into a relationship w her just bc of a "feeling").

I don't know why she still wants to be in a relationship with me, it's so obvious that we won't work out. I'm such a jerk really. I hate seeing the look on her face when I tell her that were not gonna work out. I hate it, so so much.

Ignore my grammar mistakes :')

i feel like im losing my mind. ive been thinking about this guy constantly for a while even though ive never met him? i havent texted him in nearly a year after he told me he thinks im too young for him but i cant get him off my mind, i just want to meet him. worst part is im already seeing someone whos great and i feel so awful thinking about someone i dont even know! what do i do?!

Me and my partner have been together almost 2 years this year, and recently his mother passed away so I really tried my best to show my support from him and even try to cheer him up, I'm not rushing for him to get better immediately since losing someone you love isn't easy. But by the time he's shwoing positive energy or vibes around me and even saying that he already moved on as I further asked him if he is okay and such, I thought that everything would go back to normal.

Yesterday I accidentally fall asleep because I was really tired, but I didn't chat my partner that I fell asleep and such. So he's been giving me the cold shoulder which i really hate because its hard to make up with him when he's acting like that, but as much as possible I really tried to put my pride down as due to the issue that he is dealing with.

Just today I was asking if he is okay then he lashes out to me entirely on how he waited for hours and I didn't even bother updating him, even a simple one would've been nice he said, which I repeatedly kept saying my reason but he's still angry at me.

This hasn't been the first time that it happened but it's slowly killing me inside, I know that I should consider and try to understand his feelings that's why as much as possible when he's angry at me I dont argue with him and repeatedly kept saying sorry and I'll try to be better. One of the things that has marked my mind is that after I said that I'll be better ge said back to me that "you're only making it worst" and by the time that I need to go hom at his mom's funeral I happen to overhear the word "irritating" which I think he was referring to me because I kept on insisting that I need to go hom because I needed tl do something.

I'm really trying my best even pushing myself out of my boundaries even sometimes disobeying my parents orders just to be with him, it's slowly hurting the pain that I have been repeatedly been feeling over and over and over again keeps building up why is it unfair when it comes to me. Whenever I get angry it doesn't have to be like this complicated and hard to reach out to me why when it comes to him I would struggle a lot.

Im slowly getting tired, I still love him but im getting tired, I want to keep going but it's getting harder and harder.

I just want everything to end

I tried a dating app awhile ago, I think two months now, and matched with a really sweet girl but it ended poorly to say the least. She told me that she was monogamous and acespec like me, but then tried to polybomb me, basically saying though she could see herself in a relationship with me that I wasn't worth monogamy. I'm still really hurt by that, it was the first time I really tried putting myself out there after a lot of trauma in my life (which she knew about- was one of the few people to not just treat me like crap right off the back for it. I told her more than I have ever told most people, not everything, but a lot) and so now I'm just... Sad.

I feel like I just don't belong anywhere. I'm intersex and transfem, preferring T4T, but my being intersex makes a not small number of the trans community say I "don't count" or "can't be trans" among other things. On top of that, it seems like there are no acespec or monogamous trans people, especially not transfems. I will just call myself queer and sapphic leaning for the sake of this post. It's not a lie, it's not wrong, it's just also not completely correct and doesn't say the whole picture.

My being disabled and chronically ill also makes a lot of potential partners steer clear. I feel like I have no community for FRIENDSHIP let alone romance with all I have going on, plus being stuck in a deep red part of an already red state, I was attacked just trying to buy groceries a few weeks after the election so I'm even more hesitant to even try to go anywhere for anything. I haven't set foot back in that store, settling for buying food at dollar stores as they're the only other thing close to where I live, because I'm so terrified of people hurting me again. I've thought of trying a dating app again, but I'm afraid of being manipulated like before again, and with the state of things I can see dating apps soon becoming dangerous for the lgbtqia2p community in general.

The world just feels so hostile, I have so much going on (see my last entries and just... A lot I won't get into), all I want is someone to cuddle up to and get through the storm with. Someone I can lean on, let them lean on me, be myself with and be loved/accepted wholly. Give them that in return. I don't think I've ever had anyone really do that to/for/with me. Platonic, familial, romantic- nothing. Whole other cans of worms.

I don't know. I guess I just want to say watch out for people who lie about being mono then try to polybomb you, and if any of you who do that sort of thing are reading this, cut it the hell out. It's also not being bigoted towards poly folk to just not want to be poly or date anyone who is poly, quit acting like it is, and telling someone that they're not worth commitment essentially? Disgusting. You're poly, fine and dandy, don't shame people who aren't or try to trick them into it. That's also not be polybashing, either. I'm just, admittedly, very hurt and traumatized further after that experience. In order to explain just why, I'd have to give information that would doxx me however, so I will not.

I also want to say, I wish sex wasn't put on such a high pedestal in love, that there were more people who liked cuddling and emotional connection over intimacy in that way. I wish cis people didn't see me, intersex person, as a broken thing needing fixed- that trans people would recognize I'm part of the community and have no privilege over them. We are both hurt by the same bigotry, the same bigots, I just want community and to belong. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to find my forever people, friends and love, make the family I never got to have.

Does anyone have any advice for what I can do in my situation in regards to attempting to date? Or am I a lost cause?

This site has become my way to scream into the void, I guess, I'm sorry I'm so depressing.

Me and my boyfriend have been together soon to be two years now. I oftentimes have had to reprimand him about stupid stuff like him being overly kind to women and allowing it to cut into time that me and him spend together, but today I have found a rather compelling... Well... Discovery. So, he's been struggling with finding and keeping work but he always has money somehow. I did some snooping,(I know, I'm sorry) under suspicion that I'd find out maybe he has an alternative way of making money like OF or something but instead... He's been lying to women and "flirting" with them and making false promises to meet up with them, only to take money from them and end up spending it on me. (Gifts, dates, stuff I ask for or sometimes I post on my story.) The money he gets from working with his family, he spends on himself. I don't know what to say or do. As good as our relationship is, I've never expected some shit like this. I don't know. I am at a loss for words. I had to get it off my chest because I knew it'd eat me up knowing all day and not processing it. What the hell do I even do? Where do I start? It's only ever been women that have ignored the fact he tells them he's with me, or women who've been under my comments calling me ugly or fat or some shit. I can't even come up with the words.

My girlfriend and I (I'm also a girl btw) have been dating for a year and ½ now, and for the first 11 months it was great. We loved each other, and we were comfortable around each other, and we felt safe. We would show physical affection daily, and it was both of our love languages. We would spend so much time together.

But then the bullying started. It was a range of homophobic comments and slurs, to even my girlfriend getting physically attacked by one of these people. The bullying was sorted out a few months back, but things haven't been the same since. Me and my griflriend haven't held hands in months. We haven't shown any physical affection in months. My girlfriend doesn't tell me everything anymore and we've just drifted apart. Because ever since the bullying we've been too scared too be ourselves again. And it hurts me so much because I want to hold her hand, to hug her but she is too scared now because of the homophobia. I understand but it stil hurts.

I still love her but i think all the bullying changed her, and we both know she doesn't feel that way anymore. We haven't broken up though because both of us have been too scared to say it.

I feel so alone because she was the one person who knew everything about me, who still loved me and now we're so distant.