Dating Stories

It’s kind of stupid. I don’t even really know how to say it, or why I feel the need to throw it out here. But here I am.

Today’s my ex’s birthday.
We broke up over two years ago. We were together for four. And still, every damn year, May 16th hits me like a total bitch.

I try to carry on like it’s a normal day, but it’s not. It never is. I close my eyes and she’s *right there*. The memories come rushing back before I can stop them. Not really the good ones, even though there were a few, but mostly the bad. The heavy. The ones that never really let go.

It was the worst relationship of my life. I’m really not exaggerating it. I’m won’t get into the details—this isn’t the place, and honestly, I don’t want to go back there more than I already am. But it was toxic. Emotionally violent. Draining in ways I still don’t have words for.
And yet—part of me is *still* stuck there. Still trapped in a past I hate with every part of me.

I’ve tried to move forward. Tried to rebuild. And on the outside, it looks like I have. I’m stronger now. Sharper. She’s been gone from my life for ages; we don’t talk, we don’t see each other, we live in different worlds.
But today, I can’t fake it. I can’t pretend May 16th doesn’t mean something. That it doesn’t *still* mess me up.

I hate feeling this way. This ugly, twisted mix of pain, nostalgia, and quiet anger I don’t know where to put. It makes no sense. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I don’t *deserve* it.
But it’s here. So I’m saying it. Because maybe it’ll helps.
Maybe dragging this invisible weight into the light makes it just a little easier to carry.

sometimes, I find myself perplexed by my attraction to men. at 29, one would assume that I have gathered sufficient wisdom to navigate the dating landscape, yet here I am, grappling with a recurring frustration. my experiences with men have ranged from enriching to utterly disheartening. it's as if they oscillate between interesting conversations and exasperating behavior that leaves me questioning my choices. is it merely a matter of societal conditioning? or is there something inherently captivating about the male psyche that draws me in despite the red flags? 🤷‍♀️

more than once, I have encountered individuals who showcase traits that are both appealing and maddening. for instance, I appreciate a good sense of humor and intelligence, yet these attributes often seem to coexist with a lack of emotional maturity. it is frustrating to witness men flaunt their charm, only to retreat into a shell when the conversation turns serious. I wonder if this is a common experience or if I have a knack for attracting the emotionally unavailable. could others share their encounters? it leaves me pondering why I persist in seeking connections that feel so inconsistently rewarding. the highs are exhilarating, but they inevitably lead to lows that feel all too familiar. 😕

while I understand that every individual is unique, the patterns I observe are hard to ignore. the initial thrill of a promising date quickly dissipates into moments of uncertainty; am I asking too much? do they even realize the impact of their actions? trying to navigate this dating scene feels like an uphill battle that I am somewhat reluctant to fight, yet I continue to feel drawn to it. perhaps, I question my own motivations—what is it about men that keeps me returning for more? the search for companionship is universal, but the road to finding it feels uniquely fraught for me. maybe it's time for reflection and a deeper understanding of what I am truly seeking in this complex game of love. 💔

Is it messed up that I slightly hope the the girl I’ve been talking to goes to jail so I can stop talking to her because I’m struggling to not to talk to her because I’m so alone, and I know she uses and manipulates me and it’s destroyed me emotionally. She goes to court tomorrow and idk how to feel happy because I can not be used or sad because I’ll be back to completely isolated . For a bit more context I met this girl at a club she right off the bat tells me she’s a felon but she likes me, I get her number and we go on a few what I think are dates but really just me paying for her dinner and I get to join along And she gives me just enough to keep me around and hooked but not enough for anything else and she tried to avoid most all conversation I try to have about anything and then calls me a creep to my face for trying to get to know her even though she has never asked me one question about myself and she’s never sales I don’t think this will work or I’m not interested she has said she is interested but doesn’t act like it

Me (14F) and my bf (13M) have been together for a little over a year now, but things have been not so good. We are long distance so we can only text and call, we wanted to meet up when we were older but things have changed. Last night me and him talked about taking a break or breaking up. He has been mean to me for the past few months and didn’t really treat me like his girlfriend, he let his friends be mean to me and he just laughed even though I’ve cried to him on the phone several times because of it.

But we both said if we do breakup, it would be on good terms and we would still talk and be friends. I do love him but the relationship wasn’t healthy for really either of us and often hurt me mentally. I still love him, I really do. I loved how sweet he was when he was and I just love everything about him other than the way he treated me. I feel like the distance is a big part of it because touch is my love language and also an easy way for me to show emotion in a few ways. I don’t want to breakup but it’s for the best.

My only issue is that I don’t know how I would find a new boyfriend when I’m ready. I’m homeschooled, there’s no clubs in my areas that I’m interested in, I don’t wanna do long distance again, moth of the guys/people is my area are assholes…I might have to try an app to meet someone but I’m scared of apps because of the risk of pedophiles and such. I just don’t know what to do

I'm struggling through a break up. It was a three year a relationship with someone I thought I was going to marry and have a future with. We decided to remain friends because we still love and want each other in our lives, even if it means transitioning into a friendship. We are currently going through a period of no-contact to give ourselves a grace period before we try to make a friendship work. It's been hard. Although I love the freedom and flexibility I now have, thinking about them moving on and trying to move on myself hasn't been easy. I've been struggling physically and mentally. It's been affecting my work, not by much, but I do see myself making mistakes and slowing down drastically in terms of work ethic. I know this is for the better, but I still get moments of wishing I could go back and crying over this. It doesn't help that they make it look like they're having an easier time transitioning through this. I know that's such a selfish assumption and people grieve differently but I guess there's a part of me that feels like I'm the only one struggling. I don't know what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get back on my feet at work and pushing through with enrollments for my master's degree. I'm scared I won't find love anymore after this, and honestly I don't know if I can do anything better than what I had with them. I'm just not doing so great. Unlike my other breakups though, this one has no hatred or anger involved, it's just the yearning and mourning over something I was building my life for. I don't know how to go on... I mean, I'm trying my best but I don't know...

Context: I was with my ex-boyfriend for a little over 2 years. It was definitely rocky, especially toward the end, but the break up hurt. It hurt so bad because it was abrupt, and it was like right when I started liking him again. I became the desperate ex for like a little just trying to get back with him or at the least stay friends. It didnt work after he asked me for advice on how to date a new girl like 3 days. I blew up on him for being an asshole and he blocked me.

Fast forward about 3 months later and I started dating again. I accidently got into a serious relationship while in retrospect, defintelly still having feelings for my ex. I declined my feelings and moved forward with the new guy. Fast forward to this past summer and I cannot stop thinking about my ex. I wasnt happy in my current relationship so I didnt care to hide it. I told my current bf and said I need to reach out to him. He allowed it and things did not go well with my ex. I end up blocking him. Fast forward about 6 months and again he consumes my mind. I dont reach out as I know theres no point but I still want to.

I want so badly to be as connected as we were. He was funny, playful, cocky, but most of all real (or atleast it felt like it). Ive come to understand that I dont like him, but l miss the way I felt.

Today, I feel so empty. My current boyfriend just makes me anxious and judged. I dont love him but I want to because he is a good guy.

Yesterday I asked him, if I dissapeared, do you think I've made an impact on you. He said no. Hes told me he doesnt think I'm funny, he doesnt think Im smart, he just does not like me.

I want so badly to leave him. With college coming up, I told him I want to break up and he said no. I tried to pushback but it was still no. With me being such a coward I took his answer. I should stand on my ground but I dont.

Ive put myself in this situation and I just want advice.

I feel like I havent explained my situation the best I could and definitely left some things out. But, how do I get the ex off my mind. How do I salvage or break off this relationship.

I was so young at the time we dated I was only 12 when we dated. He was 16 at the time and God it was awful..looking back into that I was in a awful relationship. I'm now 16 and I regret everything I was ruined like I became so obsessive and it hurt me so bad I tried to harm myself. he was nice sometimes but he was my first love and I thought it was so real even if it was online. I dated him for maybe until I was 13 and through those years he tried to commit in front of me on call and even stabbed his side of his waist and made me watch him bleed until he finally went to the hospital. he told me it was okay to do things on camera and to make myself bleed and sick. he cheated on me and would buy me things and make me feel so hurt inside. once my parents found out and made me leave all socials and stop talking but of course I found my way back to him when I was 14 and dated him until I was 15 and a half but it was too late. it was weird that day I spoke to him he was all happy and was saying all different things than what he normally said, he lived close to me state wise so he also mentioned he was finally going to let go and see me if I followed his footsteps and I was so confused. that same week I was shattered because it was just all over at the age of 15 I was getting calls from his family saying he was dead and a call from the police apologizing. I was completely ruined and heartbroken but now that I look back on it I shouldve never gotten with him over and over but I was young.

(DISCLAMER I DONT MAKE SENSE BUT I AM JUST RAMBALING)

I’m 23f and I’ve never had any sexual or romantic experience (no holding hands or talking stage). It just never happened for me. Most of my life I didn’t really care or pay attention to it, but it’s like I “woke up” about two or three years ago and looked around and realised I’m so behind everyone else my age. Since then I’ve been trying and failing to do something about it and it’s been affecting my mental health really badly. I can be pretty socially anxious but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’ve been trying to go out more and meet new people, but every time I’ve approached a guy I’ve been rejected. I know that happens and maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but it really messed with my self-esteem as well. I’m not particularly attractive but I try to work with what I have. All that affected my mental health really badly and turned my inexperience into a massive insecurity, making me embarrassed and feel that it’s “too late” now. I see it as a proof that no one found me desirable before. It’s gotten so bad I’m even avoiding my friends now because I feel like I’m so much worse than them. Now I’m worried that even if I do find someone I could get along with, he’s going to be weirded out and turn me down because of it.

Him: For a moment, I thought maybe you’re one of those girls too. (because he heard of teenage pregnancy is increasing)

Who knows, maybe you have some boyfriend…

And you have s*x with him.

Him: Anyway baby, you’re really not doing such things, right?

She: ARE YOU CRAZY??? YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND?

Him: Most girls have already done it.

It’s the same in every country—

Not just India.

She: What do you mean “doing it”?!

Him: I didn’t say that, honey…

She: Oh, you didn’t say it? But I’m saying it.

That thought was yours.

You think I’m a w**re?

I’m a bi***?

She: Hey, I’m not from (adcabc) you know that.

Him: (abcabc) is number 1 in this.

She: Are you mad? I’m from the East side!

And wtf you are thinking about my character?

Him: I didn’t say that, honey…

She: Oh, you didn’t say it? But I’m saying it.

That thought was yours.

You think I’m a whore?

I’m a bitch?

Him: Baby…

She: How can you even think that?

Him: I’m just saying what I thought for a second.

She: You are the dumbest fucking asshole I’ve ever met.

Him: Baby…

I was just talking about that moment, and I know now…

Baby…

Him: Baby…

I was just talking about that moment, and I realize now…

Baby, I love you. Really.

Let’s just drop all this… baby.

Her: This conversation has become completely inappropriate and uncomfortable.

Him: For you maybe, baby.

Not for me.

Her: You repeatedly made personal and offensive comments that are disrespectful and suspicious. I’m fucking ashamed that you even thought that.

Him: Because I love you.

And no matter what you say, it doesn’t hurt me.

I love you more than you love me.

More than anyone else.

I don’t care what you say, I only care that you’re saying something, and I love it.

What happened?

You should try to understand me.

Not just sit on one thing I said and fight over it.

That’s not it.

I’m not perfect.

Her: So now you’ll question my character? Hahahaha.

Him: But everything you do affects me so much.

I always remember those moments…

That someone once did that for me too.

Baby, I said it’s not suspicion.

Her: Then what would you call the things you said?

Him: To be honest, (something garbage)…

Her: At least spell my name right.

Him: You have the dumbest boyfriend.

I’ll stay single from now on, I’ll never get into a relationship again,

because I’m not worthy of it.

And honestly, I had already lost interest in girls.

I need to accept reality.

Her: Just tell someone—tell your mom or sister—that you said those things to your girlfriend.

You’ll never understand what it means to say such things to a girl, and how deeply it affects her.

Accept it.

Childish.

Him: Okay baby…

You’re right.

I understand now.

Because I’ve already said it.

I just couldn’t remember that moment before, but now ....

I’m sorry.

I love you.

I love you so much.

(After she calm down a little)

Her: Men are shit. I'm done with them.

I might die before I fall for anyone ever again.

Him: It’s okay, (girl name). Then let’s end it now?

(??)

Her: Sounds so eager.

Him: See you next time.

Her: You want to be free? Then go ahead.

Him: Haha.

Her: I've erased you from here (the chat), wish I could erase you from my mind too.

Him: I wish.

I hope you come out of all this soon.

Her: No clarity, no respect… why the fuck do I still love you?

Him: Yeah, (girl name).

For a girl, these things matter the most?

Her: Just go away from here.

Him: Okay then.

(She really loved him and after thinking for a while)

she:

I know you’ve been through a lot, and I wanted to be there for you to make things better. But right now, I need to step back for my own peace. I can’t ignore the hurt I’m feeling anymore. I truly hope you find the happiness and healing you need, but I also need to heal. Please understand that I’m doing this for myself.

Him:

Selfish.

I don't care about myself.

You know, I could die for you.

I love you more than anyone, even more than my own family.

But I also want this.

Selfish.

You know how much I love you.

But you don’t even try to understand.

You only care about yourself.

Her:

Playing the victim, aren’t you?

Him:

Leave it.

I can’t say anything now.

I think we should stay apart.

Just take care.

Her:

As you wish.

Him:

Honey, I love you.

But I’m not the right one for you.

I come from a poor family.

I’m not even handsome.

Her:

I don’t care.

But honestly, it feels like you’ve become mentally unstable.

I always thought you were handsome, good-looking, and a good person.

But what the hell is going on with your thinking?

Him:

I’m a small-minded person… just thinking like them.

Her:

Whatever.

Her: I’m done with this conversation. Take care.

so I don't know what category to put it in or how to say this but its not a vent, I'm just confused and loss of words.

soo there's this guy (B) he's my bsf (N) brother. we dated before but I broke up with him months ago. now we are in a "talking"/"dating thing" idk its in between. anyhow we got each others number and we have been talking ALOT. yesterday afternoon we were talking and he asked me if I wanted to see a video he's been "making"/"made already" (yt video) I said sure and he sent a link to yt (I assumed it was anyway) but when I clicked on it...well... uhh.. it sent me to a p*_rn hub and I clicked out of it so fast and got traumatized. a minute later I thought maybe my phone was on something but no (I clicked on it diff times to see if I wasn't crazy but uhhh nawh it sent me to multiple different p*_rn hubs) I told him it wasn't a video to yt (acting chill abt it) but he said "oh" "did you watch it?" I said no, not to be weird. he eventually sent the right thing but I don't know what to do (its the next day) so do i confront him about it or just delete our convo and never speak to each other again?

SOS

I feel sad today. I miss my ex and everyone, also sad about not being able to play my genshin on a decent device! and remembered, oh I'm on the last day of my period. Don't mess with me hormones lmao

Dont know how to start, but last year I told my partner to never ever loan money online because I kept on worrying that he would get scammed in instead of getting what he wanted, later on when we were heading home I noticed that he kept hiding his phone from me whenever I would peek, and obviously I noticed something strange as he usually let's me peek to his phone, moving foward is that he told me that he borrowed some money online to buy something that he really wanted (p.s. things are getting a little bit rough fue to financial problems), I was mad but forgave him later on and told him the second time that he should promise me that he wouldn't borrow or loan some money online. Moving foward things are going great we were having fun, but I dont specifically know how I know again but he borrowed money again through online because his reason is that "he was irritated and out of his mind by the we had an argument to each other" which I was angry and a bit sad because firstly notnonly he broke his promise to me but at the same time it feels like it was my fault that we fought to each other. I didn't argue back but just scolded him because it was also affecting me to, as because the cost kept getting higher and he needed help so I lend him some money. I told him the THIRD TIME that he should promise me again and stop spending and start saving money. At this point I dont know why but im slowly losing trust on him whenever he would do something I just kinda accepted it, never argue about it because it will only make things worst.

Recently he reached out to me again that he needed to pay something, which is for the money he borrowed again online, I didn't argue but yet dissapointed, I told him that this time he should pay me back because heck the money he needed to pay is out of my budget, since I "love him" that much I lend him some cash, later on since I was bored I wanted to play with my partner so I asked him out to play with me, and thinking also that he would be easy on me and even be affectionate towards me since I did him a favor and such, i expected too much and didn't gpt that kind of treatment but it's whatever its just a game, during the game there's this figurine he wanted to buy and even told his dad and such and he agreed (p.s. we are only college students that still needed support from our parents) and he wanted to ask the buyer if its still available on the day of his birthday, which he reached out to me needing help to chat the seller and I told him I would do it later as because we were playing, on our last game which he reminded me again that he needed help I told him I would do it later, but he seems soo desperate to ask the seller and decided to ask it himself in a mad tone, which I got angry and he got angry with me saying "I'll do it myself, all ypu wanted to do just to play" which I got furious so I left the game.

Things aren't good with us recently and kept on thinking the things that I have done to him, providing him financial needs whenever he needed to without asking anything in return and even the love that he needed since everything is going rough with him so as much a possible I tried to become supportive, but in return it feels like the more I provide the lesser i get in return, I've been expecting a lot to him, maybe something more affectionate rather than giving me such sexual activities and such, even though i kept telling myself when he's happy then I'm happy but at the same time I don't feel like that.

I can't even confront him my feelings like before, can't even cry out like this in front of him, knowing nothing will happen, I've been distancing my real feelings with him, should I just leave him if this keeps happening, all the vreak prormises that he told me he would srop doing it to me, the things even the little ones he would get angry about, mybfeelings being invalidated knowing if I opened up he will get angry with me or even being dissapointed with me.

Hey guys, I was broken up with by an someone a few weeks ago. I will give a run down of the relationship and the breakdown of the relationship. I need help navigating the break up and the no contact period.

I have been in no contact with him for 6 weeks now, I blocked him everywhere. I just need clarity on the situation. I have known this person for so long but we reconnected last year. It started as friendship which progressed into a loving relationship with no abuse or infidelity.

In the first month of the relationship he ghosted me for a few days. He shutdown because he was going through a lot of personal stuff. He didn't tell me all this but just stopped talking to me. I had to call and send multiple messages. Then I told him if he doesn't respond, I will assume he ghosted me and I'll move on. After that he sent a lot of texts saying how much he loves me and the last thing he wants is to break up. He was just going through something and I should just give him space and he would come back. I did just that and gave him space till he came back.

This became a habit, he would randomly ghost when going through something and he'd expect me to just know and give him space. I thought I was a securely attached person but his ghosting and coming back randomly triggered my anxiety. I used to send messages on multiple platforms or try to call just to know why he ghosted and stuff like that. Other than this shutting down, he was a good partner to me.

He was also scared that I'd leave him and would panic all the time, ask for reassurance that I won't leave.

He left the country later on, we started long distance. And before he left, I asked him not to shut down when things get hard. He agreed and I trusted him on this.

2 weeks after he left, he just shut down, stopped talking to me. I didn't know about attachment styles then. So him being 1000 miles away from me, triggered my anxious side, I was sending messages on various platforms, calling etc.. I had to reach out to his family member and that's when he sent an email saying he is going through a lot, is depressed and he needs a break. All I wanted from him was that, he should at least talk to me beforehand, then I'll give him space. I left him alone but I used to check in with him once or twice in a week during that period.

By this time my anxiety was already triggered and was no longer secure in the relationship. Small things or small change in his behavior would trigger me. He came back 3 weeks later but was cold and distant for no reason. This triggered me more. At this stage he stopped answering my calls at all but was texting me daily though at a reduced frequency. He stopped saying I love you to me unless I said it first and this continued till the relationship ended.

When I brought this up, he used to say I should just give him time, and that things between us will go back to normal soon.

My birthday came around, I'm not sure what happened that morning, but maybe my anxious side was activated. I was just craving for more attention from him I guess. We texted a little bit that morning. I tried calling him that morning. I called several times and he hang up on me. I spiraled and started leaving messages telling him, I do not appreciate how he is treating and that I don't think he loves me anymore. We stopped talking for a like 3 weeks, but somewhere in those 3 weeks, he said he still wants to be with me and he doesn't want to be away from me but he just needs to sort out his personal life, so I should give him time.

When he came back, it was still the same. Poor communication, slow replies but was still asking me to be patient with him. This had been dragging on for 5 months. It was affecting me because my needs weren't being met and all I was being told was to be patient. Our anniversary came, he sent me a happy anniversary message. But went on to ghost for 2 days. I told him I do not appreciate being treated that way and he broke up with me via text. You can read the text on my profile.

After that I reached out to him and he just confused me more. He said he doesn't want to be with anyone else but me, that he is still in love with me but he will miss me. He said that he was just not in the right mindset to be in a relationship. He said the main reason he broke up with me is that he doesn't know if he will ever be happy due to his struggles. I asked if he was okay with trying again when in a better place, he said "Idk, we'll see". I took that as a no. He said we should go no contact so that we can work on ourselves but was open to me reaching out 6 months down the line. This confused me a lot and left me with more questions than answers.

Is it okay for me to reach out to him on his birthday or after the 6 months have elapsed. And if thinks go well for him, do you think there is a he might come back when he is less overwhelmed. I don't want anything with him, just to check up on him since we were friends for 16 yrs before dating.

I need a point of view from a guy, me and my ex were off and on for over a year, we saw other people in between because we broke up, from my view I was there and he never was, I texted him a lot, he told me to get snapchat cause it would be easier, which made no sense lol, I did, I didn't tell him, things were already feeling off again. Very off. We did things together teenage couples do..he ghosted me the first time but then he said it was because he was busy, and I believed that, he has a farm and has to keep his animals alive and a family business or something like that. He said he loved me and that he was sorry and I took him back because I believed it was the right thing to do and I know people make mistake, so I took him back, I was already attached. I told him I was clingy and he knew. He is country and there is a thing about country guys and their grandpas dying, he died, and before he died things were great. when I was sick he would ask if I needed anything, like food, and said he would bring it over, I wouldn't let him do that, we had "I love you" wars. But when his grandpa died he started drinking and not doing great things and started to distance himself from me even more, I felt hurt and I wanted to talk to him about it, I rarely saw him, so I did it over text, of course, it was hours of being on delivered. I told him it didn't feel like he loved me anymore and that I just wanted time with him, he said he was too busy, nothing about not loving me anymore, which I thought I was fishy. I would give random I love yous because if I were him that is what I would do but I am not him and I don't know what I did it, most of the time he would leave it onread or on delivered and at night I would tell him goodnight and just like that, "goodnight." no "Hey baby I am sorry I have been busy all day, I am sorry if you felt like I didn't want you." He never said that I would like his goodnight message and say "So no I love you back? Is something up?" He would say something like, "Didn't see it." "Love u too." It was like he wasn't even trying. I was giving up my parents trust, they said he was bad news, I didn't listen because I was madly in love with him. We fought more than we saw each other, all the time over text. There was one time he said he couldn't do us anymore because he wanted a girl he could actually go out with ( Originally my parents said no because they didn't like him, they warmed up to him and finally told me it was fine) There were so many time I told him this so I brought it up again when we were fighting over text and he said " Oh I didn't know" Maybe it was because every time we hung out he just wanted to get to know my body more and more, he had already seen every part, we had done everything already. S I brought up him only seeming to care about my body and he would always dismiss it and say " I think if this is how it is we should break up or take a break." He never wanted to talk things out. And yet, he said he didn't want my body, but what did he do in person? Me. I let it drag on because I loved thins boy and he made me feel loved and special. What goes on in guys heads? Thinking that everything is fine when it isn't? Dismissing that you only want a body, no feelings attached? He said we werent f around buddies, but to me, it felt that way. We continued to do it over and over, each other and this toxic relationship. We would hang around in his truck and I could tell something was off, one time there was a hair tie that wasn't mine in his truck, I did see him with his mom the night before and they went out in his truck, but my observant self saw that his mom's hair was down, it wasn't pulled back, I was still outside when they came home, her hair was up, but she never got into his truck again. We had been sharing locations with each other and then he turned it off the next day and I knew something was up, I questioned it when I was in that truck with him and all we came to, was nothing, he said "No" when I asked him and started kissing me. I tried to shake it, I knew something wasn't right, he probably doesn't even remember it. I miss him, who he was before his grandpa died, he was my everything and then he became such a ( Insert your word here). It continued to be touch and go, I could tell he knew something was up with me but never even asked. He always expected me t be the one to ask to go out and when I did he said he didn't have time because he was busy or because he didn't want to and then I told him then he better not ever say I didn't try, which he did. I need a aview from a guy on this, we would have such a fun and loving time, then he would ghost after something major, like the deed, happened in our life. He texted me and said I should keep it in the past and that it doesn't matter anymore and that he was happy. I miss him. He got me into trouble at school so know I am suspended and could even get expelled at this point. Did I do something wrong? Why do guys do this? There is so much more I could ask and say but I have been ranting too much and I just need help.

I remember when things were different between us. I remember the warmth in your eyes when you looked at me, how your voice would soften when you said my name, how your touch made me feel cherished. I used to believe with my whole heart that you truly cared about me and loved me. Now, I find myself questioning everything.It feels like your love has become conditional - as if I need to perform or give parts of myself away just to receive your attention. I've noticed that you respond when I offer my body, my time, my energy, my resources - but when I need emotional support, you seem to disappear. This pattern has left me feeling like an object rather than a partner. I feel like I must constantly earn your love rather than simply being worthy of it through who I am. The loneliness I feel even when we're together is overwhelming. I walk on eggshells around you, carefully measuring my words and actions, afraid that one wrong move will push you further away. Your love feels like it comes with fine print - conditions and clauses that I never agreed to but must somehow fulfill. Everything I worked so hard to build with us - the trust, the openness, the safety - seems to have vanished without explanation. When I try to express myself to you, it's as if my words evaporate before they reach you. You look at me, but you don't see me. You hear me, but you don't listen. The only time you seem truly engaged is when the conversation centers on things that make you feel good or validated. My pain, my concerns, my needs - these seem to be inconveniences to you rather than valid parts of our relationship that deserve attention.You say "I love you" with such ease, but those words ring hollow when not backed by action. Where is the affection that used to flow so naturally between us? Where are the small gestures that showed me I was on your mind? Where is the desire in your eyes that made me feel wanted? Your words and your actions tell two different stories, and the disconnect between them leaves me disoriented and questioning my own perceptions. Time after time, you claim you want to communicate and work through our issues. "Let's talk about it," you say. "I want us to work this out." But when the moment comes to actually do the hard work of relationship building, you check out. You offer surface-level responses or empty promises that things will improve. We both know the pattern by now - nothing changes. You go through the motions of caring without the substance of it. You create the illusion of effort without actually putting in any real work. Our nights have become a painful reminder of our disconnection. We go to bed with tension hanging in the air, issues unresolved, words unsaid. You turn away and fall asleep as if nothing is wrong, while I stare at the ceiling, replaying conversations and wondering what happened to us. Remember when we couldn't bear to end our days without hearing each other's voices? When falling asleep on the phone together was our ritual because we couldn't stand the separation? Now, days pass where we barely exchange meaningful words because you're always "too busy" for me. Yet somehow, in your supposedly packed schedule, you carve out time for her - the very person who betrayed our privacy by gossiping about our relationship. The same person you looked me in the eyes and promised you would distance yourself from. You hang out with her behind my back, constructing elaborate lies to cover your tracks, even though you know exactly how much this hurts me. It's as if my pain doesn't factor into your decisions at all. What cuts even deeper is how you deliberately bring her up in conversation, watching my reaction as if my discomfort provides some form of entertainment for you. When you casually mentioned that you used to have feelings for her, it was like a knife to my heart. That information serves no purpose except to make me feel insecure and question what's really happening between you two. Did you think about how that would affect me before you said it? Did you care? The contradiction between your words and actions has become impossible to ignore. You tell me I mean everything to you in one breath, and in the next, you treat me as if I'm nothing. You claim I'm a priority while consistently putting me last. You say you value our relationship while actively undermining it. I'm left wondering which version of you is real - the one who makes promises or the one who breaks them. I'm hurting in ways I never thought possible. There's an anger in me that burns alongside the sadness, a profound sense of betrayal that keeps me awake at night. What devastates me most is that you don't seem to notice or care about the pain you're causing. Or worse, perhaps you do notice and simply don't think it matters enough to change your behavior. I still remember how you used to look at me like I was the most precious thing in your world. How you would speak about our future with such certainty and joy. How your actions aligned perfectly with your words, creating a foundation of trust I thought would never break. Now I feel like an afterthought, something you step over or around on your way to what really matters to you. I need to know if what we had is real or if it was just an illusion. I need to understand if there's anything left to salvage or if I should stop pouring my heart into something that no longer exists. Most importantly, I need you to understand that love isn't just a word - it's a choice you make every day through your actions, your attention, and your priorities. Right now, your choices are speaking louder than any words you could say. I'm laying my heart bare because despite everything, I still care enough to fight for us. But I can't and won't fight alone. The question is: are you still in this with me, truly? Or have you already checked out while keeping me hanging on to false hope?