Maid of Honor Troubles: Am I the Problem or Is She?

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Published on
Wednesday, 10 July 2024

The story

Hello everyone,

I find myself in a bit of a tough spot with my Maid of Honor lately, and I’m starting to second-guess if I made the right decision in choosing her—or if I might be the one overreacting.

Initially, I clearly explained the usual responsibilities expected of a Maid of Honor. Nothing I asked was out of the ordinary. Despite this, her lack of enthusiasm for my wedding has been disappointing. She’s completely hands-off, even when it came to organizing my bachelorette party. I found myself planning and coordinating the entire event. I even took on the driving and finances, though thankfully, the other bridesmaids stepped in to help, and we ended up having a wonderful time at a local amusement park. It wasn’t a lavish affair, just a simple day out, yet my Maid of Honor was hardly involved.

The situation became more apparent when other bridesmaids started to question her absence during the planning stages. She barely contributed, even having her boyfriend send a small amount of money on her behalf last minute because she claimed she was broke and jobless.

Later, she organized a night at a bar and unexpectedly paid a significant amount for the reservation. It was confusing because she’s often told me she’s strapped for cash, needing rides and unable to chip in financially for events like the bachelorette party.

Her attitude further dampened my spirits when it came to discussing her dress for the wedding. She reacted negatively and complained about the cost. When we tried to talk it through, she insisted she was on board and wanted to fulfill her role but blamed me for not making the duties clear—though she made no effort to seek clarification. This claim felt weak to me; resources are plentiful, especially online.

Her contradictory behavior continued. She mentioned not having money but then went on to make non-essential purchases and even planned a trip. Her boyfriend has been covering their living expenses entirely. It leads me to believe she might expect me to cover her wedding attire and accessories, something I can’t afford with my upcoming wedding expenses.

As my wedding approaches, I’m torn between supporting her financial limitations and wanting to enjoy my wedding without this stress. I’m considering asking her to just attend as a guest, though I worry it might ruin our friendship.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if this were unfolding on a reality show. Would the audience see her actions as justifiable or think less of her for not meeting what many would consider standard expectations of a Maid of Honor? Would they sympathize with my position or label me as too demanding? Reality TV often thrives on conflict and misunderstanding, and this situation seems ripe for that kind of dramatic interpretation.

It’s really weighing on me, and I just want to make the right decision without hurting anyone or being seen as unreasonable. What do you guys think? Am I a bridezilla?

—Stressed Bride

Am I expecting too much from my Maid of Honor?
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Points of view

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11d ago

I ain't buying it, sis! 🙄 Seems like a whole lot of dramz over some wedding stuff. People got their own lives, y'know? Can't be expecting everyone to drop everything for your big day. Maybe she's dealing with some stuff too. 🤔 Just my two cents, but maybe cut her some slack before jumping to conclusions. Just sayin'.

11d ago

the maid of honor sounds like a real piece of work, tbh. not cool to leave the bride hanging like that. being a moh is a big deal, like, step up, yanno? 🤦 she needs a reality check, seriously. like, why even accept the role if you ain't gonna show up? smh.

11d ago

Okay, but let's be real here. 🙄

Being a Maid of Honor ain't just about the fancy title, it's about being there for your girl when she needs you most. This MOH sounds like she's straight up flaking, and that ain't cool, man. Like, if she can't handle the responsibility, she should've just said so. No shame in admitting you can't handle it instead of half-assing it. Just my two cents.

11d ago

As someone who's been in the wedding biz, this situation ain't uncommon. MOH duties are key to the bride's experience, so slacking off ain't cool. Communication breakdowns can happen, but being upfront is crucial to avoid misunderstandings. In the end, both parties need to find common ground.