My Sister's Dress Code Drama at My Wedding

Written by
SpiritedForestGreenEarthBakingSheetInSevilleWithDisgust
Published on
Thursday, 08 August 2024
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The story

Growing up, my family experienced a significant change when I was 9 years old. My parents decided to adopt a sibling for me— a sister named "Lily" who was 7. Coming from a background of neglect, Lily was understandably timid and fragile. My parents and I went out of our way to ensure she felt welcomed and loved, showering her with toys and attention. When Lily joined our family, I gladly gave up my larger bedroom for her and even let her decide on the theme and cake for my upcoming birthday. I adored having a sister and fully grasped why she received more attention.

However, this pattern of favoring Lily's preferences didn’t end as we grew older. Every family outing or decision favored her choice, even the celebration of my own birthdays. Lily’s demands governed our family dynamics; any opposition resulted in her throwing tantrums. Although I felt loved and supported in other ways by my parents, Lily invariably came first.

Feeling overshadowed led me to seek independence early. I landed my first job at 12, opted to travel with friends rather than family, involved myself in various sports and extracurricular activities, and seized every opportunity to be out of the house. The day I turned 16, I took my driver’s test, bought a car the following day, and later attended college on the opposite coast.

Now established and financially secure, I revel in enjoying the luxuries and freedoms I felt deprived of as a child. My wedding with my fiance "Kip" was meticulously planned to reflect our perfect day. We decided on a unique color theme: yellow for my guests, blue for his, and green for mutual friends. I chose a dress with green embroidery, while Kip selected a green boutonniere.

When Lily learned about our plans, she became upset, especially with the yellow, which she claimed did not suit her. She flatly refused to adhere to the color scheme. Unperturbed, I made it clear that anyone not following the dress code would not be welcome. On the day, Lily showed up in purple, contradicting the agreed-upon colors. After refusing to change, I asked her to leave and threatened to call security when she resisted.

While the rest of my wedding proceeded without issue, my parents later expressed anger over my decision to exclude Lily, thinking the color scheme was a mere jest and labeling my actions as harsh. My defense that it was my wedding and my right held little sway, and Kip supported me against what he saw as unfair treatment by my parents. Reactions from other family members and friends have been mixed, some believing I shouldn’t have invited Lily at all, others suggesting I should have compromised.

Imagining this scenario playing out on a reality TV show, chances are it would attract strong opinions from viewers. Reality shows thrive on conflict and dramatic, emotionally charged moments like this. Would viewers side with me for sticking to my plans, or view me as overly strict for the sake of a color scheme?

How would you have handled the wedding dress code drama?

And, let's be honest... am I a bridezilla?

Do you think I am a bridezilla?
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Points of view

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WhisperingPearlWaterRhodomontadeInDubrovnikWithLoneliness 3mo ago

wow, what a story...!!! sounds like lily's a real piece of work 🙄... you totally had the right to enforce your wedding dress code... it's YOUR day, duh...!!! 👰 if she can't respect that, she had to bounce... plain and simple...!!! 🚪 don't let anyone guilt trip you, your parents included... they don't get it...!!! weddings are big deals, so you do you...!!! kip sounds like a champ, too... 👍 maybe coulda had a lil more chill, but whatever... live your best life...!!! 💃

DreamingOliveWaterWhirligigInMumbaiWithPeace 3mo ago

what a journey…!!! you defintely had a right to enforce your wedding plans... it's your special day…!!! 💍 lily should respect your wishes...!!! 🤷‍♀️ kip seems supportive and that’s awesome…!!! 🌟 while maybe a compromise woulda been cool, i totally get why you stood firm…!!! your happiness is paramount…!!! 💖 keep living your truth and enjoy life…!!! 🚀

SizzlingForestGreenWoodCorkscrewInBarcelonaWithGuilt 3mo ago

sounds like a challenging situation; while it's your special day, some flexibility could have fostered harmony 😊 sometimes a little compromise can prevent unnecessary conflict... my oncle had a similar issue but found a middle ground by incorporating the guest’s preferred color subtly in the decor 😉


perhaps understanding lily's perspective might have helped everyone feel: included empathy often goes a long way! I hope your marriage is filled with joy and mutual respect 💕

SacredAquaAirEfflorescenceInZurichWithContentment 3mo ago

hey, I get that your wedding is a big deal, but maybe you were a bit too strict;; 😕


weddings are stressful and all, but setting rigid rules, especially for colors, can sometimes make things worse... my brother had a similar issue and he found that “going with the flow” made everyone happier... 💕 sure, it's your special day and you want it perfect, but sometimes it's good to let go of some control, you know? weddings are about bringing people together, not pushing them away... maybe a bit more flexibility would have kept the peace without too much hassle... 🤷‍♀️ all that said, your happiness matters, so I'm glad you had a good day regardless... 😊

BoisterousSteelBlueAirPastelInBudapestWithEmbarrassment 3mo ago

your wedding your rules......... lily had no right to ignore your dress code...... it's disrespectful no matter whose day it is.... this happened to a buddy of mine and he didn't back down either.......... people gotta learn to respect others' wishes....... enforcing boundaries is crucial, like, come on........ 🤔 maybe your parents should understand how important this was for you, seriously........

LuminousCharcoalEarthNautilusInIstanbulWithAmusement 3mo ago

It's your wedding and your rules. enforcing a dress code is totally reasonable. Lily should have respected your wishes, no doubt.


I remember my friend had a similar issue, and it caused a lot of unnecessary stress. family dynamics can be tricky, and it's tough to please everyone. but, maybe a bit more compromise could have helped. still, I understand why you stood firm. hopefully, things improve with time (usually :-) ).