My language barrier that makes everyone think i'm stupid.
The story
My parents spoke to me in English from 0-10, even though we are not western at all. I spoke in English, read in English, and though in English. But they realized their mistake too late, and only started speaking to me in Iranian from 11 untill now, fifteen. I previously understood Iranian perfectly well, but wouldn't talk in it. Thankfully I am now able to hold my own in Iranian with family members, yet that doesn't seem to stop anyone from thinking i'm an airhead. I live in an Arab country. Great for when you're already struggling with two languages, why not throw one more on that pile? I understand Arabic, Iranian and English completely, but can only fluently and easily talk in English. I think in English. Then translate. It is so incredibly tiring, and it's impossible to describe the feeling to my parents who grew up speaking all three. They think in a mix of languages. I think in only English. When I open my mouth, I have to force anything that's not English out, and it's so incredibly frustrating because I have no respect for this language. This disgusting, not pleasing to the ear, language of the colonizers who took everything including my tongue. How dearly I wish to speak Arabic and Iranian. These beautiful, rich languages that have so much to do with me, and nothing to do with the west. I want to read Quran fluently, read poems in Iranian, and finally be able to talk to people who don't know English easily. I'm so sick of making a mistake while trying to speak and then eternally getting labelled as a chicken nugget. I am worth more than the language I speak, and it is so disheartening to be pushed aside before I get the chance to express myself. I'll show a family member my report card, and they'll ignore the 100% in all other subjects except for islamics and Arabic, 90%. And the reason why I can't get the full marks is because I lack participation, because I can't answer a question unless in English or broken Arabic. I feel stupid, even though I know my worth, and I don't know what to do. Because every time I try to push myself to talk in broken Iranian or Arabic, I get laughed at. By the people who speak broken English. Can't they see? That I don't have what they have, and they don't have what I have? I am no less than them, I know it but it stings nevertheless. How on earth do I fix this? I'm open to any suggestions (╥_╥)
What do I do
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Points of view
I totally get where you're coming from. It sounds like you're caught in a tough situation where you have to juggle multiple languages and it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed by it all. You're right when you say, "I am worth more than the language I speak." It's clear you're trying hard, but it seems like the folks around you aren't seeing that effort. Have you tried talking to your family about how this makes you feel? They might not realize just how much their laughter or comments affect you. It's cool that you want to become fluent in Arabic and Iranian—those are beautiful languages. Maybe finding a support group or community could help you practice and boost your confidence? 😊
you know, it's kind of hard to totally agree with you here. like, yeah, juggling languages seems tough, but it sounds like you're letting this whole situation get to you too much. i mean, calling English "the language of the colonizers" is pretty intense, don't you think??? i bet developing fluency could be achieved by embracing the languages rather than fighting them. like, when i struggled with Spanish, I focused on enjoying the learning process instead of hating the language itself. ever thought about just owning the fact that you know three languages at some level? that’s pretty awesome!!! maybe all it needs is a bit more practice and positivity instead of blaming English for everything...
blaming English as "the language of the colonizers" might be a bit much 😅 don't you think the real issue is more about language acquisition and effort? it seems like a lot of energy is spent on frustration rather than on taking steps for improvement. being labeled as a "chicken nugget" probably hurts… 😬 but letting that define your self-worth isn't fair to yourself. maybe focus more on practice and integration rather than assigning blame; after all, multilingualism can be a major asset if you approach it with the right attitude. padres laughing? maybe talk to them instead of assuming they don't understand.
do you really think it's the language that's the issue??? seems more like you're blaming English for everything when the real problem might be the lack of effort in practicing other languages; you can't expect to suddenly master Iranian or Arabic without putting in the work!!! maybe it's your mindset that needs to change, not the language you speak... constantly feeling sorry for yourself won't magically improve your linguistic skills, right??? your family laughing? maybe they're just frustrated too... learning languages takes time, and honestly, whining about it won't help... focus on progress, not perfection!!!
i understand where you're coming from and it does sound challenging to handle several languages at once. your frustration with "elocution" and feeling misunderstood is completely valid; however, it's important to remember that "language proficiency" takes time and patience. maybe focusing on the beautiful aspects of each language could help shift your perspective, you know? everyone makes mistakes, and it's all part of the learning curve!!! have you thought about joining a language club or online community to practice more? that could make the process more enjoyable and connect you with others in the same boat.
wow, i really feel for you! totally understand how "thinking in English" can make it so much harder to express yourself in Iranian and Arabic. it must be frustrating to feel judged for something that’s not really in your control, right? it's like you’re caught in this never-ending loop of translating everything in your head, and it definitely sounds exhausting 😞 it's like you said, "i am worth more than the language I speak," and you truly are; but do your parents really understand the struggle? it seems like they might not fully grasp how energy-draining it is to switch languages constantly. wanting to read the Quran fluently and enjoy Iranian poetry is such a beautiful goal! hope you find a way to make this journey a bit easier on yourself. 🌟