Earlier this year, I was confronted with a terminal diagnosis. According to my doctors, my time is limited—possibly just a few years remain for me to address any unresolved issues. With the aid of a dedicated attorney and a social worker specializing in end-of-life care, I've begun laying the groundwork to ensure that my desires are honored smoothly and respectfully when I am no longer able to make decisions.

My family background complicates my situation further. My biological parents were never married and my father passed away from the same ailment I'm battling when I just turned 12. He was unmarried, hence his wealth was secured in a trust, overseen by my grandparents, for my benefit. Later, my mother remarried and I have a half-brother from her second marriage. He faces severe mental challenges—functioning mentally much like a child, despite his adult physique, which places immense stress on my mother and stepfather's already strained finances. They couldn't gain access to my trust funds despite several attempts. At times, I feel more like a backup financial plan to my mother rather than her daughter, leading to a strained relationship filled with passive-aggressiveness from her and my stepfather.

Knowing my days are numbered, I have tried to bridge the gap with my mother, aiming to ease any past grudges while I still can. Since my diagnosis, she has shown genuine concern—possibly sensing the gravity of my condition. In discussing my plans with her, making it clear that I have assigned a relative as my health and financial power of attorney to mitigate her burden, I sensed her relief. However, she hinted at her hopes for my involvement in my half-brother's future care. She expressed desires to allocate any inheritance I leave behind for his continued support, underlining her wish that he recognizes the aid as coming from his big sister.

Despite these conversations, I have chosen not to leave my assets to my mother or half-brother. My life’s joy has been significantly brightened by my best friend’s children, to whom I am an affectionate "auntie." They, along with their parents—who have supported me tirelessly, accompanying me to medical appointments and offering their home when I couldn't be alone—will be the beneficiaries of my estate. My decision is driven by a desire to affect positively the lives that have interwoven so closely with mine, rather than securing a potentially better care arrangement for my half-brother.

Am I being unreasonable in making this choice?

It’s interesting to ponder how this might unfold if my life were part of a reality show. Cameras capturing every nuanced expression as I disclose my decisions to my family. Would the audience sympathize with my wishes, or would they judge me for seeming to neglect my own family in their eyes? The dramatic reveal and the ensuing familial reactions could indeed make for compelling television but might also skew public perception of my choices.

Should I leave my estate to my best friend’s kids or my family?

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