Growing up, I always thought being part of a group meant you’d never feel lonely. But even when I’m surrounded by people—at work, with friends, or even family gatherings—I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on the outside looking in. It’s not like anyone is outright mean or tells me I don’t belong. It’s more subtle than that, but it hurts all the same.

Take last weekend, for example. A group of friends from work decided to get together for dinner. We’ve been working on the same team for years, and I thought I was close to them. But when I showed up, it felt like I was invisible. They were laughing about inside jokes, swapping stories from a night out I wasn’t part of, and talking about upcoming plans I hadn’t even heard about. I smiled, nodded, and pretended it didn’t bother me, but by the end of the night, I couldn’t wait to leave. The ride home was the worst. All I could think about was why they hadn’t thought to include me before—or why I couldn’t seem to fit in no matter how hard I tried.

It’s the same story with my family sometimes. During holiday dinners, my siblings will chat about things they’ve done together—movie nights, road trips, little moments I wasn’t a part of. It’s not like they’re trying to exclude me, but I always end up feeling like an afterthought. Even when I try to join the conversation, it doesn’t take long before it drifts back to something I can’t relate to. I sit there, smiling politely, feeling more and more like I don’t belong.

What’s frustrating is that I’ve tried so hard to be part of things. I’ve reached out, suggested plans, and done everything I can to show that I want to be included. Sometimes it works, but more often than not, I feel like I’m forcing myself into spaces where I’m not really wanted. And that feeling of not being wanted? It’s worse than being alone.

i’ve started to wonder if it’s something about me that pushes people away. Am I too quiet? Too awkward? Or maybe I just don’t have that magnetic personality some people seem to have—the kind that draws others in effortlessly. I wish I knew the answer because, honestly, I’m tired of feeling like this.

At work, it’s even harder. I see coworkers chatting easily during breaks, planning lunch together, or sharing little moments that bring them closer. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there, trying not to look like I care too much while eating lunch alone at my desk. It’s not like I expect to be everyone’s best friend, but being left out all the time feels like a constant reminder that I’m just... different.

I try to remind myself that it’s not always personal. People get busy.. They form closer bonds with certain people for no particular reason. But logic doesn’t make the sting any less real when you’re scrolling through social media and see the photos of the dinner you weren’t invited to, the group trip you didn’t even know about, or the inside joke you’re not in on.

The worst part is how isolating it feels. You want to talk to someone about it, but how do you say, “I feel left out,” without sounding overly sensitive or needy? Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in this loop of pretending it doesn’t bother me while quietly wishing things were different.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Plenty of people have probably felt left out at one time or another. But when it happens again and again, it starts to feel like a pattern you can’t break. I keep telling myself that I need to focus on the people who do make me feel included and the moments where I genuinely belong, but it’s easier said than done.

I don’t have a neat ending to this story because it’s something I’m still figuring out. Some days, I feel hopeful—like maybe I’ll find my place, my people, and everything will click. Other days, it’s harder, and the loneliness feels heavier. But if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that belonging isn’t always about fitting perfectly into someone else’s group. Sometimes, it’s about creating your own space where you feel seen and valued.

So, here’s to figuring it out—one awkward moment, one brave step at a time. If you’ve ever felt like this, just know you’re not alone. And maybe, just maybe, the people who matter most are waiting to find us, too.

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