Nothing to want but an End
The story
I've been told how to live a life. I've been told the steps on how to have a happy life. I've heard stories of success. After following directions for so many years, I just can't bare it anymore. The things that I've once found joy are now just things to pass time. I can't even complain about my situation to close friends as there's nothing wrong with my life. The only thing that's wrong is me.
I have a family that takes care of me, but that just hurts me more. While I'm in their eyes, I won't let myself die for them. I've told lies to keep them happy and what they want to hear so they don't have to worry. Recently they told me that they were worried for my future as I didn't do anything for awhile. They aren't wrong, I didn't do anything but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I know the things that I'm supposed to do. The expectations that I'm supposed to meet. The person that I should be. I know that they are trying to look out for me but sometimes I wish they would just forget about me. I never have an answer for them when they ask about what I want to do. I usually tell a lie and count the time.
I just want something to bring everything to an end. Something to remove my existence. Something to free me from my own hell. I can see my self-sabotage but that's all I have. To continue doing the same thing that I've done for the entirety of my life. The pain isn't something healthy but it's something. Some days I wish I was numb and to do everything like a machine. How easy things would be to not feel anything.
What would be the thoughts if this was seen on a TV show? Probably mild resentment... "How could you be sad if everything was handed to you?" or "How can you be sad if you got everything that you wanted?"
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Points of view
Honestly this story hits the nail on the head: life being perfect outside doesn't mean it's perfect inside! folks can’t just dismiss the struggle by saying you have it all to be blue when every little thing in life is handed to you does not invalidate your feelings. It can sometimes make the absence of true purpose more pronounced: we gotta understand that facing this type of grind means recognizing that true contentment requires more than just materialistic benchmarks!
Yyour experiences are totally valid and embracing the journey of self-exploration might just spark a new sense of purpose 😊 there’s hope! keep pushing through the clutter of societal dictations!
I get where you're coming from, but I gotta say, it seems like awareness of your issues is half the battle; it's just tough to see how nothing makes you happy when you've got support around you. I remember feeling stuck once, but talking to someone helped me see things differently.
Maybe you just need a new perspective or hobby to shake things up?!! You've got a good foundation, so try to find something that sparks a little joy. Staying stuck in that mindset doesn't really help anyone.
Wow, this story is like, super relatable in so many ways. I get the whole feeling lost and stuck in a rut thing 'cause I've been there myself, and it ain't fun, let me tell you; when every day feels the same, it's like you're on autopilot or something. 🤔
You just gotta hang in there, really. Trust me, finding that one thing or hobby that lights you up can be such a game-changer. Once I picked up painting, and it kinda shifted my mood for the better. So, yeah, maybe give something new a shot, and don't lose hope 'cause things can really get better when you least expect it!