young person dealing with loneliness and trust issues

It is natural to experience apprehensions when contemplating new interpersonal connections, particularly when one identifies as autistic or agender and has not navigated romantic relationships prior. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that each individual is a unique confluence of traits, and the right partner will appreciate rather than criticize these characteristics. While you express concerns about being perceived as a "grown child" due to autism, robust research in neurodiversity underscores the importance of embracing diversity rather than succumbing to stereotypical misperceptions. Furthermore, your contemplation regarding your ability to articulate affections reflects an introspective sensibility, suggesting you possess the potential to evolve in emotional expression. The concept of gender identity being "confusing" is also perceptibly subjective. It invites a more comprehensive understanding which partners eventually tend to value. While trust issues may be valid, allowing fear to impede one's capacity to form connections may circumvent the potential for growth and discovery. As Nietzsche suggests, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger,” which implies that vulnerability can indeed be a pathway to resilience. Although professional guidance may be delayed, embarking on a journey of self-compassion and personal growth can begin independently. Keep faith, as you endeavor to cultivate deeper meaningful connections with other individuals.

as an autistic ???gender myself (not sure what I am, still trying to figure it out), I'd say that your worries are valid, but equally they can help guide you to your best result - would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept all of you, even the childish parts? My boyfriend fell in love with me while I was messing with instruments made to sound like kids toys, because his heart warmed at how much fun I was having. That's a cherished memory for me because it reminds me that he likes me for me, and I think that's super important.

As for your worries about expressing yourself, maybe once you get the someone, you could set up a routine where you tell that someone how you feel every night as a goodnight? Doesn't have to be anything too poetic, just 'love you, goodnight :)' can do the job (once you're there. no need to rush into saying it if it's not how you feel.)

I get the worry about vulnerability - I find it's easiest to think about being vulnerable with someone if the goal is that they're going to help you protect those soft parts too, so instead of one soldier fighting for you, you get an army.

I hope this helps! :)

dude, i totally get where you're coming from!!! those trust issues and confidence struggles are real, especially when you're dealing with autism and figuring out your gender identity. it's tough out there!!! but hey, don't sweat it too much. i mean, relationships are scary, but they're also about finding someone who'll accept your quirks, right? honestly, if someone can't handle your autism or the fact that you're agender and sapphic, then they're probably not worth your time???

feeling like a "grown child," or worrying about being "replaced" by someone more "normal," is just your mind playing tricks. we're all imperfect creatures, and whoever you end up with should love those imperfections, not criticize them. yeah, vulnerability is a huge leap, but you grow stronger each time you take that risk. and yeah, therapy's a long wait, but until then, keep exploring what makes you feel safe and what you need from a partner.

just hang in there. focusing on what makes you happy will help you find those moments of connection you're craving. don't rush it, but don't shut people out either!!! there's someone out there who's gonna appreciate you just the way you are, trust me!!! 😊

it is entirely rational to experience the anxieties you've articulated. relationships can be daunting, particularly when you're navigating autism, an agender identity, and being sapphic. nothing illustrates this better than feeling misunderstood or inadequate. your concern about appearing as a "grown child" due to autism is not misplaced. society has a history of misconstruing neurodiversity. however, assuming someone will inevitably leave or cheat on you shows a lack of faith in human decency.

relationships require effort and understanding on both sides. fearing rejection because of your gender identity only exposes the pervasive ignorance about gender fluidity. you seem overly skeptical about trusting others, possibly due to past experiences or an overactive defensive mechanism. henry david thoreau once said, "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." in your case, fear might be leading to isolation.

therapy is indeed the optimal path, but while waiting, perhaps consider that not everyone is equipped to weaponize your vulnerabilities. remaining vigilant yet open might reveal connections that are both attainable and rewarding. trust isn't easily bestowed but must be cautiously extended if genuine relationships are to flourish.

totally get where you're coming from. relationships can be really intimidating, especially when autism and gender identity come into play. the worry about being seen as a "grown child" or not expressing feelings well is a common fear. it's like we all have these internal alarms making us doubt ourselves.

i've been there too, feeling like you're never "enough." i mean, the fear of being replaced by someone more "normal" is real. it can be super tough to open up and trust people when it feels like everyone is just waiting to let you down.

but from my experience, the right people won't mind your quirks. they've got their own, and it's more about finding someone who gets it. sometimes, it's about small steps, slowly letting people in, even if it's hard. sure, there's risk involved, but without it, we might miss out on the chance to connect. there's no quick fix, but little by little, you begin to find what works. hang in there.

relationships can be super daunting, especially with autism and figuring out your gender identity. i’ve had similar worries about being too much for someone else to handle. it's hard when you're constantly wondering if someone will see you as a "grown child" or if your gender identity will lead you to be replaced by someone more "normal."

i think we share the doubt that vulnerability can be scary. i remember someone saying, "The only way to overcome fear is to face it head-on," which sounds easier said than done. being open to connection feels like opening yourself to potential pain, but sometimes you find resilience in unexpected places;

it's totally okay to crave affection and still be unsure about letting people in. maybe start small, find people who appreciate your unique qualities even when it's hard to believe they're out there. life's a bit of trial and error, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. hang in there, you'll find your people eventually 😌