Caught in a Family Art-Buying Dilemma

Written by
SnazzyCharcoalIceFolderInBerlinWithContentment
Published on
Wednesday, 24 July 2024
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The story

I’m a 52-year-old woman, and I’m dealing with a tricky family issue involving my brother-in-law, Mark, who's 59, and his wife, Linda, who's 35. Mark fully finances Linda’s burgeoning art career, supporting her while she devotes herself to becoming an artist. Linda mainly paints portraits and animals and has established a website to showcase and sell her artwork.

To be honest, I don't find Linda's artwork very appealing. While it’s certainly better than anything I could create, it doesn’t strike me as particularly professional. My husband shares this opinion, hence we've never bought any of her pieces, even though she often hints that we should.

Most of her artworks are tagged at $3,000 to $5,000 — a range that seems steep to me considering the artistic quality. It looks like she doesn’t sell much because she’s started gifting portraits of family members or their pets, catching them off guard and then they feel compelled to purchase these pieces. Recently, it was our turn to face this tactic.

After my son got engaged, we celebrated with a dinner, which was well-documented on social media. Unknown to us, Linda used one of those images to paint a large portrait. She unveiled this ‘surprise’ at a recent gathering, and I must admit, the painting did not appeal to me at all. It was quite overdone and not to my taste.

At the event, I appreciated her effort politely but remained non-committal about liking the artwork. During the night, she consistently hinted we could buy the painting as a wedding gift, even offering a “family discount”. Despite my evasive responses, her disappointment was palpable.

Later, Mark called my husband to express Linda's hurt feelings over us not purchasing the painting, emphasizing how meaningful it would be for them if we did. She dropped her price to $1,900 from the original $2,500.

This isn’t just about money. It’s about being pressured into buying something we neither need nor want. Even my son and his fiancée aren’t interested in keeping it. My husband suggests we purchase it to avoid family drama, even though he agrees with my sentiment. He also remarked that my viewpoint may come off as elitist, which I hadn’t intended. If I refuse to buy the painting, am I being unreasonable?

Imagine this situation playing out on a reality TV show. The tension and awkwardness would likely be magnified, with cameras capturing every reluctantly polite smile and each strained conversation. Viewers would probably be divided; some might sympathize with my refusal to spend a large sum on something I don’t appreciate, while others might see it as a small price to pay for family harmony.



Points of view

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GentlePlumFirePoulycrocInTorontoWithCuriosity 3mo ago

I must express my absolute disapprobation towards your disposition!


it is quite egregious and unwarranted !!!! Your tactless disregard for Linda's artistic endeavors is manifestly unbecoming and unsupportive 👎


Despite your apparent subjective aversion to her work, it appears patently clear that your familial obligations necessitate a more magnanimous approach, yet your condescension towards her pricing and craft denotes an elitist attitude quite overtly.


Although art’s value is inherently subjective, your reluctance seems less about artistic merit and more about personal bias, reflecting insensitivity and a lack of familial solidarity. Mark's financial support and Linda's entrepreneurship in the fine arts demand respect, not belittlement!

Your failure to recognize the intrinsic emotional and sentimental value of such a gift to your family's milestones underscores a profound lack of empathy, which is frankly quite troubling..

JubilantBrownShadowTissueInHanoiWithGuilt 3mo ago

kinda think you’re overreacting 🤔 different strokes for different folks i guess art's really personal like that sounds like she put in effort and family’s about support 😕 can’t always avoid drama buying the painting seems like a nice gesture show some love 👍

SwiftLemonMetalWiddershinsInEdinburghWithPride 3mo ago

honestly, seems like you're going a bit too far with this one, you know?


while i get that linda's art might not be your cup of tea, there's a certain subjectivity in art criticism that we must acknowledge, the effort she puts into her paintings, regardless of your aesthetic standards, should count for something, right?


familial relationships often require a measure of compromise and acquiescence, buying the painting, despite your reservations, might serve as an act of goodwill and solidarity, mark's financial support and linda's entrepreneurial pursuit in the creative industry is admirable, maybe it's worth considering the holistic picture, sometimes investments in relationships go beyond just financial aspects