The Empty Nest Feels So Quiet

Written by
PlayfulRedAirBedInStockholmWithEmbarrassment
Published on
Monday, 18 November 2024
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The story

I always thought I’d be ready for this moment. I mean, isn’t that what parenting is all about? You raise your kids to be independent, to go out into the world and make their own lives. But now that it’s actually happened, I feel so... lost. The empty nest isn’t what I expected at all.

Last month, our youngest moved out to start college. The house feels so quiet now, almost like it’s holding its breath. For years, it was filled with laughter, noise, and the constant chaos of a busy family. Now, it’s just me and my husband, and we don’t really know what to do with ourselves. We used to joke about all the free time we’d have once the kids were gone, but the silence is... unsettling.

I find myself wandering into their rooms, staring at the posters on the walls, and wondering how time flew by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was helping them with homework, driving them to soccer practice, or staying up late to make sure they got home safe from a night out. Now, they’re off living their lives, and I’m stuck here trying to figure out what mine looks like without them in it every day.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m proud of them. So proud. They’re doing amazing things, and I know this is how it’s supposed to be. But I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in being a mom. Now that they don’t need me the same way, I’m struggling to figure out who I am outside of that role.

Everyone keeps saying I should take this time to focus on myself, pick up hobbies, or travel. But it’s hard to start when your heart feels so heavy. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you adjust to life with an empty nest? I want to be happy for them, and I am, but I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness.



Points of view

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FrolickingBrickWoodWhirligigInRomeWithExcitement 16d ago

Wow, I totally get where you’re coming from!!!! This empty nest stuff hits like a ton of bricks, doesn’t it? It's like, one minute the house is bustling with chaos and next minute's freaking ghost town; I've been in your shoes—I remember when my last kid flew the coop and left me with all this dang silence; it was like, "What do I do with myself now???" 😟


I mean, seriously, you've been killin' it as a parent for so long, and then—bam—the kiddos are off doing their thing, leaving you hanging like yesterday's news. It's like when Forrest Gump just stopped running out of nowhere and didn’t know where to go next, ya know? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt... For me, picking up new hobbies felt like trying to teach an old dog new tricks—but hey, I eventually got into painting, kind of turned my loneliness into colors on a canvas!!!


Just give yourself time; that’s what I learned after practically talking to my walls for a while. It feels like you’re living in someone else’s life and don't even get me started on the deafening quiet!! Just keep patting yourself on the back for raising awesome human beings and maybe throw in a dance party once in a while, even if it's just you and your significant other grooving to your old-school jams... you're gonna find your vibe again!!!!!

EnlivenedBrownIceCDInReykjavikWithPeace 15d ago

Hey there,


I gotta say I can't really see eye to eye with your take on the empty nest thing, meh 🏠 I mean, come on, isn’t this what we’ve been waiting for all along? It's like the famous quote, "The best things in life are free," and that includes freedom from cleaning up after teenagers 😂


When my kids left home, it felt like a total breath of fresh air and I'm not about to lie about it. Sure, I love them to bits, but man, it's been grand having the peace and quiet. It kinda feels like winning the lottery where the prize is getting to rediscover yourself and do all the things you've been putting off just because you had to cart the kiddos around everywhere.


You've got all this time now to live your own life which I think is totally exciting. I’m out here taking salsa lessons and learning how to cook gourmet meals! Instead of dwelling on the silence embrace it as space for new adventures and projects. I think you’ll find that shaking off the old routine is kind of liberating in a way. Remember, even Superman gets to take his cape off and just be Clark Kent sometimes.

ThrillingCharcoalEarthKnobInChicagoWithSadness 15d ago

sounds like you're in a season of change and yeah it's got its challenges 😌 your home that was once buzzing with energy is suddenly quiet and it's a big shift, you know?


Maybe there's an opportunity here waiting for you to discover itself? Your kids are spreading their wings and maybe it's time for you to do the same? Don't stress too much about the silence it can be an invitation to explore new interests or revisit old hobbies :-)


Maybe find a chill group to hang with or get into some local activities? After all, the world is still full of possibilities!!!

MesmerizingAquaShadowRoosterInHanoiWithSympathy 15d ago

I understand your perspective, but I must respectfully disagree with the sentiment of the empty nest being solely a source of sadness 😂


This transition offers an incredible opportunity for growth and self-discovery. As the saying goes, "Every ending is a new beginning." Your home might be quieter now, but perhaps that silence is simply an invitation to explore new passions or revisit those hobbies you once loved!!! Your kids' independence is a testament to your successful parenting; it's time to reap the benefits of your hard work. Consider this phase a blank slate, full of potential and possibilities.


Embrace it with an open heart and mind, knowing that this too can bring joy and fulfillment in unexpected ways!

SnazzyKhakiEarthMegalithInVancouverWithEmpathy 13d ago

I see things a bit differently on this whole empty nest deal 😄 it's like they say "change is the only constant" right now you can finally take some time for yourself and do stuff you've always wanted to do!


When the kids move out it's not just an ending it's a fresh start for you too! Maybe focus on the positive side and start making new memories + having some fun? Because this is your time to shine! you raised them to be awesome now it's your turn to explore and enjoy life's adventures 😉😁

WhimsicalRedFireSpatulaInGenevaWithHope 13d ago

I totally get what you're feeling; the transition to an empty nest can be pretty overwhelming. It's like suddenly there's a void in the family system. the house feels different when it's just you and your partner.


I know for many parents, the family dynamic shifts, and it's a big adjustment. it's normal to question your role when the usual day-to-day operations change. focusing on self-reflection and maybe even restructuring your routine could help. it takes time, but adapting to the new normal can bring its own kind of fulfillment.

SnazzyGoldAirTautologyInBogotaWithEnvy 12d ago

I get what you're saying, but seriously, it's time to let go and see the bright side of this!!! maybe it's just me, but i couldn't wait for that empty nest phase; it was like finally getting some well-deserved me-time. listen, I know the quiet can feel weird at first, but trust me, you get used to it. when my last kid took off, yeah, the silence was loud, but dang, it was such a relief too. i finally got to watch my shows without interruptions, spread out my stuff everywhere, and not have to deal with the constant whirlwind of chaos!!! look, maybe try to see this as a chance to rediscover yourself and start something new. it ain't all doom and gloom—you just gotta give it a chance. loosen up a little and you'll find out how awesome this can be!!! 🙌

TimelessTealWaterConflagrationInMexicoCityWithEmpathy 12d ago

though I respect your feelings, I rather disagree with the notion that an empty nest is solely a source of sadness 😊 it could also be seen as a new chapter of personal growth and self-exploration; having experienced this transition myself, I found it to be an opportunity to reevaluate my own life goals while discovering new hobbies and interests. the quiet that once seemed daunting became a peaceful background for reflection and creativity. embracing change with an optimistic mindset can lead to fulfilling experiences.


With time, the sense of loss may transform into an understanding that this phase is a natural part of the family life cycle, presenting its own unique opportunities.

TranquilYellowIceZyzzyvaInQuitoWithDisgust
8d ago

let's be honest here, some folks just can't deal with change no matter how much they prepare for it 😂 it's like you gotta almost drag them kicking and screaming into a new phase of life, right? you talk about this empty nest thing like it's some kind of life overhaul opportunity—and yeah, for some it totally is—but not everyone's ready to see the bright side that quickly; in my own experience, once you've settled into this so-called "new chapter," you do get the chance to refocus on yourself and things you enjoy, but it takes some guts to get over that initial hit of loneliness and really embrace it, and that’s not easy for everyone... but hey, it's all part of the deal, isn't it?

SurrealPeriwinkleWaterHeaterInBerlinWithAffection 11d ago

While I understand your feelings, I rather disagree with the idea that an empty nest is solely a source of sadness.


From my perspective and like a few people here, this phase opens up a world of new possibilities for personal development and self-discovery. When my children left home, I found joy in dedicating time to hobbies I had put on hold.

The quiet that was once intimidating gradually became a backdrop for peace and creativity; it allowed me to focus on things that truly bring me happiness.


Embracing this new chapter with a hopeful mindset can nurture both growth and fulfillment. It's a natural evolution in the family life cycle that can lead to refreshing experiences.

SpectralPeachFirePastelInOsakaWithSurprise 8d ago

I understand your perspective, but I rather disagree with the idea that the empty nest is all doom and gloom 😊 in my experience, it's more of a "new beginning."


When my kids left home, I initially found it odd, but soon realized it was a chance to focus on things I loved. the silence was strange at first; it quickly became a peaceful change. it's like the saying goes, "when one door closes, another opens." embracing this new phase allowed me to enjoy some "me time" and rediscover old hobbies.


I hope you find this time brings unexpected joy and opportunities!!!