Growing up in a bustling, tight-knit family meant attending an endless stream of family gatherings, ranging from birthdays to numerous holiday celebrations. It was almost considered a cardinal sin if anyone failed to show up.

While I deeply cherish my family and appreciate their support, the sheer number of compulsory family functions can be overwhelming. Even more so, each event comes with the explicit expectation that attendance is non-negotiable.

Now that I'm married with a four-month-old child, I find joy in the festive spirits of my wife’s family gatherings during Christmas and Thanksgiving, as well as the celebrations on my father’s side. There's a lighter, more jovial atmosphere there compared to the stifling ambiance at my mother's family events. My mother's relatives are notably conservative; they adhere strictly to old-fashioned values, including a strict no-alcohol policy during gatherings. This policy once led to a distressing incident where my drinking a single beer at a bowling alley made my aunt burst into tears in front of her teenage children, who were stunned by the uncommon sight.

The holiday events on my mother's side are particularly exhausting. Every aspect, from the overly structured agenda to the prolonged photo sessions, drains the energy out of me. Instead of a casual, relaxing atmosphere, there's a forced attempt to engage everyone in board games and card games. To be honest, playing tedious games with unenthusiastic people isn’t my idea of fun. Moreover, there's an underlying expectation that not only must you attend but you should stay for the entire duration. Last year, we spent five hours there, and still, there were attempts to guilt-trip us into staying longer. Usually, I try to find a plausible excuse to avoid these gatherings, such as scheduling conflicts with my in-laws' holiday plans. Frustratingly, they would then reschedule their event to a date when we are available.

Sometimes, I wrestle with guilt, wondering if I am in the wrong for wanting to avoid these gatherings. Our family is incredibly close, living within a five-mile radius of each other, but I question the necessity of forcing ourselves to attend when it brings us little joy.

In a reality show setting, I wonder how my family's expectations and my resistance would be perceived. Would the audience see my actions as justifiable self-care or as selfish disregard for family traditions? Reality shows tend to dramatize personal conflicts, so it's intriguing to consider how my family dynamics would be portrayed and received by viewers.

Am I wrong for wanting to escape from these oppressive family obligations?

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