Constantly broke
The story
A couple of years ago, a girl from the US came to my town in Europe over the summer to maintain her double citizenship to my country. I met her through our sport as she trained at my club during that summer to stay fit. She's a couple of years older than me, but we became quite good friends, and even after she went home to the US we stayed in touch and dreamed of visiting each other again - mostly of me visiting her in the US.
Anyways, she has now been doing her sport at a college in the US, and has sent me a kind of open invitation to come visit her and follow her busy student-athlete lifestyle for a week. I have a school holiday coming up in about a month and I've promised her to come visit for a week then. I can stay with her in her dorm and eat in her dining hall, so I would "only" have to pay for the plane tickets, but even that is a big expense for me.
Tickets to and from the US would cost me something like 1/6th of my savings (but they aren't that big, so maybe that sounds worse than it is), and even though I have access to a dining hall etc. I'll still have to buy some food and such when I'm there. My dad might pay for half of the ticket, but it would still be a very expensive trip, and even though I've already promised my US friend that I'll come, I can't quite get over how expensive it'll be for me.
I'm annoyed and frustrated over this specific situation, but it's not so much this one that bugs me as it is my family's finances in general. We (my mother, sister and I #divorcedparents) are constantly broke, and I honestly don't always get why or how it happens. My mom makes enough money that we should be doing fine in day-to-day life, including when somebody needs a new pair of shoes or whatever once a year, but every time we have to make a "bigger" purchase (e.g. a pair of shoes, a big grocery haul) she grimaces and is clearly uncomfortable with the amount of money we're spending. I barely speak to my dad because I can't do so without him trauma dumping and venting about exclusively his own problems to me, but I know he's at least as broke as my mom/us so even though he's promised to pay half of my ticket, I don't trust that he will or that it will be within the foreseeable future.
I know I can't really get mad at my parents for being somewhat poor, especially when I know my mom is ashamed of it when she has to borrow money from my sister and me or when she can't buy us everything we want. I feel like I can actually be angry at my dad because the main reason he's poor is because he's a lazy piece of shit and never has a job for more than 6 months at a time because then it "gets too boring" for him. I'm just tired of always being more broke than my friends and never knowing how it is we're wasting our money, and I can never go on a shopping spree or something like this trip that's coming up because I feel so guilty for spending money.
I've also thought of getting a job so I can start making my own money, but I don't know how I would ever find the time to it. I go to high school and train 1-2 times everyday except for sunday which is my designated homework day, so I genuinely don't have the time to also have a job. I'm literally spending some of my homework time on writing this, but I'm just so frustrated right now and I don't have anyone to vent to in real life.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there! First off, I totally get the frustration with money stuff, but maybe you could look at the trip as an investment in an amazing experience rather than just a cost!!! 😊 You mention feeling bad for spending money... Trust me, lots of people feel you there—you’re def not alone. I remember when I first had to pay for a big plane ticket, and I was like, "Oh my God, why is this so expensive??" But once you're there, it all feels worth it—and 'memories mean more than money'
Now, I’ve gotta say,, it might not be fair to pin all these financial woes on yer parents’ work choices... Everyone's got their battles. Like Shakespeare said, "all the world's a stage", and everyone's playing a role we don’t always understand. Money's tricky, right? Maybe taking a step back could help you see where things stand.
And hey, I'm just throwing this out there... Have you thought about discussing these feelings with your friend in the US? Friends are more understanding than we often expect; they might offer solutions or flexibility in plans which could ease the financial strain a bit? It’s great you're thinking about a job, but balance is key; it sounds like you've already got a full plate.
Anyway, no matter what you decide, it sounds like an amazing opportunity to broaden your horizons and experience new things; maybe worth considering the trip for the long-term benefits as well as the fun involved. Best of luck with whatever you choose, and keep your chin up!
FantasticMaroonMetalMegalithInBrasiliaWithSurprise
7d agocompletely agree on the amazing opportunity in term of trip/experience!!
I totally hear ya, but maybe there's another way to look at this ✈️ you know, travel's not just about the cash; it’s about building experiences, like what they say, "the world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page", don't let money worries completely cloud the potential for adventure and growth....
it's tough when family finances feel like a never-ending budget meeting, but everyone's got their own financial jargon to deal with; maybe there's a chance to brainstorm with your mom about where the money’s going??? she might be more open to discussing it than you think... my own family used to have these "where did the money go" talks, and it surprisingly helped everyone understand our expenses better
regarding your pops, yeah, job-hopping may seem reckless—and stability’s important—but some folks just can't handle the nine-to-five hustle, you know? try to cut him some slack if you can; we're all just navigating the employment landscape in our ways 🌟 plus, fancy that your US friend might be way cooler about this whole visit thing than you’re worrying about
i know it’s tricky fitting in a job with your already packed schedule... but maybe there's a flexible gig somewhere that wouldn’t mess up your routine completely; think outside the box a little, something like freelance work could be an option down the line
anyhow, hope you figure out a path that works!! the opportunity sounds golden, and any travel can turn out to be much more valuable than what you'll see on a receipt 💸
Man, I feel ya!!! Money stuff is just plain tough 😞 it's like you can't catch a break; i totally agree with how frustrating it is being broke all the time. your parents' situation sounds rough, and the stress they put on you is just unfair.. been in a similar boat myself, always wonderin' why cash seems to disappear no matter what; it's really hard not to let it get to ya. Even with the trip, it’s like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place!! ain't nothing worse than wanting to do something awesome and having money be the thing holding you back!!! just hang in there and do what's best for you.