I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years
The story
Hi all, I just need some support. I spent the last 4 years building my life around the idea that my boyfriend and I would eventually move into our own place. The first year we looked up listings and everything but then it stopped year 2. I brought up other listings around the start of year 3 and he started spending a lot on expensive things :gaming equipment, printer etc. This made me think that oh yeah he doesn't want to get a house together (I live with him still in a rental property) I brought this up and he goes to tell me that we are no longer compatible but doesn't explain why. I wrote him a letter pouring my heart out and he didn't respond to it either, but he's been acting like he's my friend, even made me bacon the other morning and said i could stay as long as i need to. Am i hooding out hope that we can have an open communication relationship? How do I deal with being in love with him and knowing it won't work while staying polite and cordial while living with him still? Ive never lived on my own and so its a scary situation especially since I want to keep him in my life but know its probably for the best.

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Points of view
it’s hard when someone you care about seems to change directions without clear communication 🤔 i totally feel for you here… sometimes people just grow apart and it sucks big time; gotta take care of your own heart and find a place that feels right for you. living on your own can be scary but also freeing, it's all about that balance, you know? hang in there and just keep chatting with him if you can, might make things a bit smoother.
seems like you're assuming a lot about his intentions, and honestly, that might be jumping the gun a bit 🤨 just because he's buying “gaming equipment, printer etc.” doesn't necessarily mean he doesn’t want to commit; maybe he's just trying to unwind. have you thought about having a real heart-to-heart discussion rather than just pouring your feelings into a letter? open dialogues have a way of clearing misconceptions. sure, he says you're “no longer compatible,” but relationships evolve, you know? communication is key to discovering whether this is truly the end or just a rough patch 🌱 so, chin up and maybe give it another try with some real talk.
it’s totally okay to feel confused right now!! I get why you'd feel like he's not interested if he's splurging on “gaming equipment” instead of focusing on future plans together. seems like you need more clarity from him, huh? it's great that he's being friendly, but mixed signals can be super frustrating. maybe it's time for a sit-down chat to get everything out in the open; living on your own can be scary, but also really freeing, and who knows what kind of opportunities it’ll bring for you!! just keep your chin up and stay true to yourself 😊.
seems like you're dealing with quite the emotional roller coaster, and i get it. “he started spending a lot on expensive things :gaming equipment, printer etc.” really makes it seem like his priorities shifted; that can be hard to swallow. i remember my friend going through something similar, and she found cutting ties helped her find her own path. do you think he’s aware of how his actions affect you??? sometimes people don’t realize until it’s spelled out. it's hopeful to hear you're open to keeping things friendly; might be a great way to move forward without burning bridges. keep your head up, it might lead to something even better for you!!!!
seems like he’s leading you on while he obviously knows you want something serious; it’s pretty inconsiderate on his part. honestly, buying “expensive things” like gaming gear while sidelining critical discussions about shared future prospects is a red flag 🚩. you’ve invested years with him, and he owes you more than vague excuses about compatibility. perhaps a more candid dialogue is necessary to clarify his intentions and your future direction. meanwhile, it might be prudent to explore independent living arrangements to prepare for any eventuality, given the uncertain dynamics of this relationship.
sounds like you're really going through a rough patch, and i totally get it. been in a similar spot before where my partner suddenly decided we weren't "compatible" and it left me kinda hanging. buying "expensive things" means he might just be focusing on his personal interests rather than your shared goals, which is frustrating. living on your own can be scary at first, but it's often a rewarding experience. when i took that step, i learned so much about myself and gained independence; sometimes, stepping away is what's needed for growth. just keep open communication with him and figure out what's best for you both.
sounds like you’re stuck in an emotional limbo, and that's honestly infuriating 🙄. his focus on "expensive things" like gaming gear instead of a future with you speaks volumes; maybe he’s just not that serious. i went through a similar scenario; sometimes people are just too wrapped up in their own world to see the bigger picture. communication is vital, but it seems he’s failing at that. perhaps it’s time to pivot and focus on your life trajectory because waiting around for someone else just isn't worth it. explore living independently; it can be a truly liberating experience. remember, your happiness should come first 💪.
sounds like you're going through a confusing time, but honestly, maybe you're reading too much into the whole situation 🤔. just because he bought some "expensive things" doesn't mean he's not considering a future with you. i've been there, making assumptions about my partner without having all the facts, and it didn't help anything in the long run. have you thought about bringing this up with him directly and finding out what's going on in his head? communication can clear up so much confusion. it’s great that he's being nice and letting you stay, but maybe that's his way of trying to show he still cares. just remember, actions can speak louder than words sometimes. how do you feel about having an open talk with him and seeing where his priorities really lie? 😊
sounds like you're dealing with a tough situation, and i totally get where you're coming from. i've been in a position where my partner and i seemed to be on different pages, and it's really frustrating 😕. it's relatable that when he started buying "gaming equipment, printer etc.," it felt like a sign of different priorities. it's great, though, that he's still acting friendly and offering support; maybe that's his way of keeping a connection. have you thought about setting aside time to express how you're feeling face-to-face? sometimes laying it all on the table can bring clarity and maybe even open up a path toward a future together or apart in a healthy way. stay strong, and remember you'll figure out what's best for you.
man, that's rough, and i totally get why you're feeling stuck. it's pretty unfair for him to buy "gaming equipment, printer etc." when you thought you were planning a future together 🙄. it seems like mixed signals, you know? but here's the thing; communication is a two-way street, and maybe you just need to have a real heart-to-heart to get on the same page. i've been in situations where things felt one-sided, and it's never easy. but have you considered if there's something specific that made him feel like you're "no longer compatible"? maybe that conversation could clear up some misunderstandings and help you both figure out where to go next. stay hopeful, and remember to prioritize what's best for you 😊.