I just need to vent
The story
I can't love someone without feeling totally insignificant, small and useless next to them. I automatically start to distance myself because I feel that this person deserves someone better, they would be better off without me, they don't need me, I'm nothing special and I'm nothing compared to them, I hate feeling this way , I don't want to push away the people I love, I don't want to push away, but I do when I start to feel insignificant next to them, when I start to think that maybe at any moment they will realize that I'm worthless and will leave me, maybe they deserve something much better than me, that anyone is better than me. I want to love someone without feeling less, without feeling that that person will leave me at any moment for the same reason.
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Points of view
Hey there! I get where you're coming from, but I gotta say, I don't totally buy into this way of thinking. Yeah, everyone has those "tiny bean" moments where they feel small compared to others, but dude, you're not "nothing special." You're just not giving yourself enough credit; honestly, nobody's perfect, and love ain't about being perfect either! Remember that classic line from Mr. Rogers? "There's nobody else in the whole world who's exactly like you." Trust me, people who love you aren't doing it because they're searching for 'better.' They're in it for YOU, quirks and all. Here's a little personal tidbit: I used to feel the same way with my pals back in the day, always thought they were gonna wise up and drop me for someone cooler. Guess what? They didn't. 😄
Embrace your unique self, and try seeing yourself through their eyes; you might be surprised!
Honestly, I totally get you and it's like we've been programmed to think like this.
You're totally right in feeling inadequate sometimes cuz society kinda drills this self-doubt into us, we all have that inner voice screaming that we’re worthless in some way or another... It's a real bummer, right 🤷♂️
So yeah, you can’t just shake off those insecurities overnight! I remember always thinking my friends would ditch me too because they were so much cooler, smarter or whatever... But you know what? Maybe we just gotta start seeing ourselves the way others do and not be so freaking harsh on ourselves for real!
You're not some lowlife just cuz you fear love: chill out and take it easy... you deserve love without feeling like you're in a constant battle with yourself :)
honestly, don't sweat it too much because everyone else is dealing with their own stuff too... and you might be so wrapped up in your thoughts that you miss seeing the awesome person you truly are!!
I completely understand your perspective on feeling insignificant in relationships :( It's quite common to struggle with self-worth when you're in close proximity to someone you admire: the concept of feeling undeserving can often stem from cognitive distortions where your mind amplifies negative self-assessments and minimizes positive feedback; it's like your inner monologue gets on a loop of self-critique.
Although it's challenging to overcome these perceptions it's important to remember that relationships are about mutual appreciation not comparison! Each individual brings something unique to the dynamic and the diversity in strengths and weaknesses adds value. The journey of love and self-acceptance is ongoing and it's okay to experience these emotions but it's also beneficial to work on altering these thought patterns for the sake of healthy connections!
I get it; I've felt pretty insignificant too in relationships!!!! It's like trying to balance on a psychological tightrope; Never enough!!!!! Emotional intelligence feels low when you compare yourself to them! I often think they deserve better; it's tough!!!!! But, truly, this mindset only leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy; I constantly wonder, “Will they leave?” 😟 But somewhere inside, I know this might just be my mind playing tricks on me, yet doubt still lingers!!!!!!
I am in the same boat as you. To add more, i am doing a (maybe a little nasty) thing of being outloud of every thought of mine even it is very small - feeling like if i stop expressing or stop speaking they might never understand or just go away. But the same speaking out behaviour is keeping me afraid again that i might become an intolerable annoyance and they me leave me. All said, i have been doing this for 12 years now - and i have a solid partner despite these. So you will definitely find the right one who will be able to see what you are and have you as their significant other just for what you are. :) It happened to me. I wish the same to you too.
Hey there! I get that you're feeling small and insignificant, but honestly, I don't really agree with this whole mindset. We all have moments of doubt, but beating yourself up won't help. That idea that you're somehow less just because you love someone sounds way off to me; love isn't a competition or about matching up perfectly, it's about connection. I've been there, too, always worrying if I'm enough, but at some point, you have to work on shifting that focus. We all bring something unique to the table, even if it doesn't always feel like it. Just because you think someone might leave doesn't mean they will. Keep your chin up, and remember, you're not as "worthless" as you might think.
hey, i get you're going through tough times, but i've gotta say, i don't fully agree with feeling like you're not worthy of love; it's like you're putting yourself down big time! love ain't about being perfect, it's about being real with each other and all that. we've all heard the saying "nobody's perfect," and it's true; love is messy and human, and that's what makes it beautiful! everyone has their flaws, their moments of doubt, and it doesn't mean they're not worth it. i've seen people worry about this stuff before, but honestly, it's usually just their mind playing tricks on them. try shifting focus a bit, seeing your own worth where you may think there's none 😊 you're probably more special than you realize, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.