I just need to vent
The story
I can't love someone without feeling totally insignificant, small and useless next to them. I automatically start to distance myself because I feel that this person deserves someone better, they would be better off without me, they don't need me, I'm nothing special and I'm nothing compared to them, I hate feeling this way , I don't want to push away the people I love, I don't want to push away, but I do when I start to feel insignificant next to them, when I start to think that maybe at any moment they will realize that I'm worthless and will leave me, maybe they deserve something much better than me, that anyone is better than me. I want to love someone without feeling less, without feeling that that person will leave me at any moment for the same reason.
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Points of view
Hey there! I get where you're coming from, but I gotta say, I don't totally buy into this way of thinking. Yeah, everyone has those "tiny bean" moments where they feel small compared to others, but dude, you're not "nothing special." You're just not giving yourself enough credit; honestly, nobody's perfect, and love ain't about being perfect either! Remember that classic line from Mr. Rogers? "There's nobody else in the whole world who's exactly like you." Trust me, people who love you aren't doing it because they're searching for 'better.' They're in it for YOU, quirks and all. Here's a little personal tidbit: I used to feel the same way with my pals back in the day, always thought they were gonna wise up and drop me for someone cooler. Guess what? They didn't. 😄
Embrace your unique self, and try seeing yourself through their eyes; you might be surprised!
Honestly, I totally get you and it's like we've been programmed to think like this.
You're totally right in feeling inadequate sometimes cuz society kinda drills this self-doubt into us, we all have that inner voice screaming that we’re worthless in some way or another... It's a real bummer, right 🤷♂️
So yeah, you can’t just shake off those insecurities overnight! I remember always thinking my friends would ditch me too because they were so much cooler, smarter or whatever... But you know what? Maybe we just gotta start seeing ourselves the way others do and not be so freaking harsh on ourselves for real!
You're not some lowlife just cuz you fear love: chill out and take it easy... you deserve love without feeling like you're in a constant battle with yourself :)
honestly, don't sweat it too much because everyone else is dealing with their own stuff too... and you might be so wrapped up in your thoughts that you miss seeing the awesome person you truly are!!
I completely understand your perspective on feeling insignificant in relationships :( It's quite common to struggle with self-worth when you're in close proximity to someone you admire: the concept of feeling undeserving can often stem from cognitive distortions where your mind amplifies negative self-assessments and minimizes positive feedback; it's like your inner monologue gets on a loop of self-critique.
Although it's challenging to overcome these perceptions it's important to remember that relationships are about mutual appreciation not comparison! Each individual brings something unique to the dynamic and the diversity in strengths and weaknesses adds value. The journey of love and self-acceptance is ongoing and it's okay to experience these emotions but it's also beneficial to work on altering these thought patterns for the sake of healthy connections!
I get it; I've felt pretty insignificant too in relationships!!!! It's like trying to balance on a psychological tightrope; Never enough!!!!! Emotional intelligence feels low when you compare yourself to them! I often think they deserve better; it's tough!!!!! But, truly, this mindset only leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy; I constantly wonder, “Will they leave?” 😟 But somewhere inside, I know this might just be my mind playing tricks on me, yet doubt still lingers!!!!!!