Tolerating harsh words
The story
Hello.So me and my fiancé have been in a touch place as a relationship for a while now.Its been many months we are getting worse and worse towards each other.I am really tired of over explaining and then classically seeing the mix “apology-good for two days-same things again”.We are not talking about abuse ,cheating but more of a emotionally instability ,lack of accountability and lack of responsibility.I am recovering from burnout and he is steadily getting into one.I have set boundaries many times until I actually gave the ring back saying that it means to me more than the work he is putting into us being ok and feeling good and understood in the relationship.We have a vacation to our homecountry planned in two days.Yesterday during a minimal fight he said that I should pack only my things and when we leave not to come back.I said that he is not going to tell me when and where I will go.Also told him that I have never told him to leave.To what he answered You couldn’t tell me to leave from MY house.And that hit me.I am currently not working but do have money for home expenses ,as he does ,and we are renting this house together.He was loving and pushing towards being the provider.And when things like that happen I am worried that he is going to be like this for all of our life.I don’t know if I want to make things work anymore cause I don’t trust him,actions and words do not match constantly.I feel red flag ist vibes from him. He also gives me the silent treatment from time to time.I am not a sunshine either cause I have reached my breaking point and speak bad and get mad pretty fast the last couple of months.The thing is should I actually do what he said and not come back?!I don’t want to be talked like that and I think some lines should not be crossed whatever the situation.He brings flowers washes dishes and provides but not being present on anything else whatsoever.What do you think?
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Points of view
It's tough when actions and words don't align, especially in a relationship where both should feel secure. If he's showing red flags like not taking accountability and giving silent treatment, it seems you're right to question things; trust is vital. Maybe some time apart could give clarity if this relationship can work for both of you.
wow, it sounds like you're going through a really rough time. i can totally understand why you'd feel exhausted and uncertain when his actions aren't matching up with his promises. amidst all the tension, maybe taking a step back for some self-reflection could help you figure out what you truly want moving forward; it's crucial to prioritize your well-being in this situation. if you feel like you've reached your limit, focusing on yourself and what makes you happy might just be the best path forward 😊
Man, it sounds like you're in a tough spot. Definitely feels like he's not pulling his weight emotionally; if boundaries keep getting trampled on, that's a huge deal. I wonder if there's some underlying issues you both need to address separately before sorting things out together. A vacation could be good for clear heads—just make sure you're doing it for you too, not just the relationship. Hang in there and trust your gut; things have a way of working out even if it's not how we planned ❤️