I’m such a procrastinator!

I’m the biggest procrastinator, my visions & goals stay all in my head. Im scared to fail, or take chances & I hate it! I feel like I make excuses, like I want to become a nurse. It would change my life all the way around. Last week I was supposed to to take my entrance exam & didn’t because I felt like I didn’t have time to study. I’m a stay at home mom, with a spouse who works all the time but takes advantage he’s the main provider. He keeps to decided how much money I can like $20 a week or if we get into it he throws in my face he’s going to leave me with this huge house & rent. For the sake of my kids I keep it a non toxic environment & try to get along with him. But I want my own money, My own career. I want to live in an apartment in downtown, with my kids & nice car in the garage & start are life. I’m only 26 but feel like i’ve waisted so much time & i’m getting older. I was a stripper, a did so good, but i’m past my 21 phase & want to secure a career. I went to college for medical assistant & it’s cool & all but I want more. I’ve never worked at a fast food place I knew I’ve always wanted more in life ( No shade to the people who do, bc of yall I get to pull up, order & go! ) Even when I danced, I would hesitate to walk up to customers. They would come up to me but some nights I left home with nothing just because I was scared to approach someone. I wasn’t always like this. The current person i’m with, had me locked away at home for 3 years so when we spilt I had social anxiety so bad & had to get on medication. Now i’m doing a lot better & don’t let him do that anymore but man I couldn’t even go to walmart without breaking down feeling people looking at me. i just want to be able to say I took the first step & did it. Or sit in my nice bedroom & look how far i’ve came. But need that extra push.

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