A Dress Fitting Disaster: Family Commentary Woes
The story
Hello everyone!
I'm gearing up for a wedding soon which will be attended mostly by my boyfriend’s circle of friends. My mom, having always been a stunner and a former model, offered to help me get ready for the big day.
Let me give you some background: my mom is absolutely breathtaking and has always been in fantastic shape. Both my brothers inherited her good looks, making them quite the dashing pair. Being the sole daughter, I guess there was an expectation for me to follow in her gorgeous footsteps.
Growing up, I steered clear of anything overtly girly and was squarely the tomboy type. Post-puberty, I put on weight, and though I wouldn't consider myself obese, I'm definitely on the plumper side – 78kg at 166cm. I don't obsess over skin care or makeup either; it's just not my thing.
Though I profoundly love my mom and I know the feeling is mutual, she hasn't always been the most supportive when it comes to comments about my appearance. Throughout my teenage years, her remarks about my weight and looks really did a number on my confidence. I can handle constructive feedback but not when there's an undercurrent of scorn or cruelty.
Things have gotten a bit better over the years. I confronted her once about how her words were affecting me, and she toned it down somewhat. However, she still slips up now and then, commenting on a pimple or mocking my hair, even suggesting quite bluntly how I might 'improve' my appearance. Sometimes it’s too much, even for me.
Cut to the current issue: my mom had a series of dresses for me to try for the wedding, and one of them was a gown she wore two years back at my graduation. It was a snug fit, to say the least. My mom and my aunt pushed and pulled to zip it up, but no luck - the zipper gave out. My mom couldn't help but exclaim, “Wow, you really are fat,” which set my aunt off on a teasing spree. I held back my feelings and stayed silent.
We sifted through more dresses and I finally picked one that was stretchy and fitted just right. Post the try-on session, my mom, in her typical fashion, asked if I had been skipping the gym and warned that I'd need to keep my stomach in during the wedding. That was the last straw for me. I decided I’d had enough and told her I would buy my own dress instead.
Now, mom feels I overreacted and I’m just wasting money on a whim. My siblings accuse me of being oversensitive about my weight, whereas my friends and boyfriend support my stance. Am I really being unreasonable here?
I wonder how this situation would unfold if it were on a reality TV show. Would the audience sympathize with me, or would they find humor in my family’s blunt commentary? Reality shows thrive on drama, after all. Could it be possible that viewers might side with me in seeking respect and emotional support from a family that puts appearance above feelings?
I'm feeling undermined by my family's comments about my weight. Am I overreacting?
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Points of view
Girl omg I totally get where you're coming from... like seriously, your mom's comments are just so unnecessary and it's like she doesn't even get how words can stick to you like glue... and those dress situations ugh!!! I've been there too!!
Once at my cousin’s wedding I tried to put on a dress and it just wouldn't zip up and it was my mom who made a comment about it too which was just annoying 🙄
I get our parents might think they're helping but sometimes they just gotta stay in their lane ya know you're definitely not overreacting at all your happiness and comfort should be priority number one ✨ you deserve to feel amazing on your big day without those nagging criticisms and I bet you'll find a dress that makes you feel like a superstar for sure let's focus on the positive ➡️ because even if family can be overwhelming you're shining just as you are 🌟 keep your chin up don’t let anyone dull your sparkle 💁♀️
it appears you are experiencing a challenging situation 😕 it is understandable to feel discomfort when family comments on weight or appearance everyone has unique beauty and should embrace it you might consider discussing your feelings with your mother again to promote understanding and empathy 🤝 while their comments may be unintentional they can still impact your confidence it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and comfort in any setting 💖 finding a dress that makes you feel confident can be a positive step forward ultimately it is important to strike a balance between valuing family input and maintaining self-esteem
i can relate to the experience you're going through and appreciate the candidness with which you shared it i once had a similar situation when my mom made some comments about my outfit for a family event which were unintentionally hurtful it can be challenging to process such remarks especially from loved ones who may not be aware of the emotional impact their words have it seems like your focus on selecting an attire that ensures personal comfort and confidence is both reasonable and commendable 😊 acknowledging that family dynamics can sometimes be complex it's important to maintain open communication addressing these comments in a compassionate manner while also expressing your feelings can lead to a more supportive environment this approach worked for me and might help in fostering understanding and nurturing relationships within your family
honestly i get that you're upset but i think it's a bit over the top to ditch the dress just because of a few comments; i've got a sister who's always making remarks about my clothes and appearance too but i just laugh it off mostly!!! i mean yeah it sucks that your mom and aunt were throwing jabs at you but sometimes family just doesn't get the whole sensitivity thing ?? they've got old-school ideas about looks and stuff but it's up to you to shake it off and show up confident 🤷♂️ you know how my uncle once called me out for my wild hair at a party ?? i shrugged and rocked it anyway because it's really about how you feel in your own skin!! you shouldn't let their old-fashioned chatter get in the way of your day girl you're gonna rock that wedding your way 💪
honestly, i totally get where you're coming from 🙄 dealing with family can be rough when they push those superficial ideals. you deserve to feel amazing without those side comments bruising your vibe! "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"; rock the look that makes you feel like a queen. you already know your worth, and it ain't wrapped up in anyone's outdated opinions 💁♀️ your comfort matters most, and you’re doing the right thing by sticking to what makes you happy. keep your head up and slay that wedding day with confidence!