In my family, ever since my father was young, we've maintained the tradition of holding more formal monthly family dinners. As children, my siblings and I always looked forward to these gatherings, which included our grandparents. When we all grew up, the tradition evolved to involve our spouses and our children, making it a grander and more inclusive affair. By the time I was 19, our family decided to rotate the hosting duties among us each month to share the responsibility more equally.

My wife initially was enthusiastic about joining these dinners. She even took over the cooking duties from me sometime after we started dating because she was keen to contribute. Initially, my family seemed to get along well with her, but I soon noticed a troubling pattern. They were overly critical of her cooking, despite her efforts to please everyone - a sentiment not shared by my two younger siblings. I tried to stand up for her, suggesting they be more appreciative, but their retort was always that she needed to improve her culinary skills. Despite her efforts to make dishes that everyone typically liked, nothing seemed to satisfy them.

A couple of months ago, I concocted a plan to expose their bias. I suggested to my wife that we pretend I was the one who had cooked the meal, just to see their reaction. She reluctantly agreed, suspecting that their issues were more personal than about her cooking skills. As predicted, when they thought I was behind the dishes, they showered praises on the food, noting how refreshing it was to enjoy such well-prepared dishes. My younger siblings knew the truth and found it interesting to watch the scenario unfold. However, when it was revealed that it was actually my wife who had cooked, my family tried awkwardly to retract their compliments, leading to an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the evening. This incident opened my wife’s eyes to the real situation, and I affirmed that her well-being was more important than these family dinners. We agreed to sometimes have meals just with my younger siblings, which was less stressful overall.

After we missed the last two dinners, questions arose from my parents and other siblings. Despite my explanations, they couldn't understand our absence and insisted on our presence. They accused me of overreacting and harming my relationships within the family. They even brought up potential future children, suggesting they would miss out on family traditions. My wife felt guilty about the situation, but I reassured her that it was not her fault.

Am I wrong for prioritizing my wife's dignity over family tradition? How might this situation have played out if it were part of a reality show? Perhaps cameras capturing every reaction and confession might have amplified the drama, leading to a public outcry against my family’s bias or maybe sparking a nationwide discussion on family dynamics and the power struggles within.

Would I quit family dinners due to this treatment?

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