My life.
The story
Hi, I don't know where to start but with this: My English and grammar sucks, please do not judge, just listen. I have been diagnosed with depression (MDD) and anxiety (GAD) just to give you a heads up.
My life is a total mess, from school, friends, and my own free time. I'm a whole mess. For about 3 weeks now, everyone who interacts with me (friends and family, too) I get super mad at. They don't even do anything, but everything about their presense makes me mad. When they talk to me (or attempt too), touch me (hugs, etc), or contact me. I just want to yell at them to go away, but it's hard in school and at home. I can't just pause and tell them to go away for the next 2 weeks until everything feels normal again. I love my friends and family but I can't deal with them at the moment and I don't know why. I feel 1 emotion: irritation. 24/7, all day, every day. I can't escape it. I want to be able to talk to people without feeling like I'm going to explode with anger. It's not fun, and before anyone says "selfish", I still listen or talk to them even when I really can't. I suck it up. Doesn't help though.
Another thing, I think people think I'm rude. I have bad humour, that's how I grew up. I grew up around bad jokes and I just grew onto them. My humour isn't like outrageously rude, I have morals, and you can tell when I'm joking. But people complain about it, or stare at me after I jokingly respond to something they say. They never mention anything though, they never tell me what I did wrong. So I keep doing it until someone has a "serious talk" about it with me saying that "this person" doesn't like the jokes I'm making and they feel sensitive to them. I don't understand why it takes people so long to say something, I'm not a rude person. I can understand if you don't want me to do something. But thats how I'm portrayed, as a rude/mean person who only cares about herself. But that's not even close to true. They don't know who I am or what my story is. I grew up ignoring my emotions and putting others first for the first 15 years of my life (Yes, when I was younger too). I finally started to listen to myself but I'm put into the box of "selfish". All I am doing is putting me first and listening to myself. My safety and wellbeing is my number one priority from now on since it got destroyed over the past years. People hate on me in secrecy and I can see it. They whisper or comment. I'm not a stereotypical "weird kid", I'm more on the popular side if anything. But every group says something, but they don't know me. I'm honestly so sweet. I suck it up for my friends. Literally every new friend I make, they say "I kinda thought you were rude but you're actually really sweet."
I'm just so done with everyone and their assumptions they make about me. There's so many assumptions. Why are we assuming peoples stories? You don't know what I've been through.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there,
I totally get that you're dealing with a lot, and it's tough;; But let me push back a bit on a couple points. People judging you before they know you??? It's just what folks do, human nature, ya know. "They don't know my story" is true, but it's your job to show that side—frustrating as it might seem.
I've been in similar shoes, feeling misunderstood and wrestling with my own stuff. But, hey, remember: communication goes both ways!!! Just 'cause you're feeling it doesn't mean other people don't have their issues too.
And about the jokes—you gotta read the room, friend! Growing up around certain humor doesn’t give you carte blanche to make bad jokes without fallout. "I never meant harm", sure, but people have different sensitivities; it's up to us to adapt.
"A bit of empathy goes a long way," my grandma used to say. You're right about looking after yourself -never a bad thing- but don't let it make you blind to others. So maybe try seeing things from their side????
Cheers! 😊
I totally feel you. Dealing with depression and anxiety is exhausting, and it can make everything harder 😞 It's tough when nobody seems to understand what you're going through; It's frustrating when people misjudge you based on humor or personality traits they don't get.
I have been there myself, feeling like I was walking on eggshells around friends and family. It's like no matter what you do, you're somehow in the wrong. Have you tried talking openly with them about how their assumptions impact you? Communication might not solve everything, but it can help clear up some misunderstandings.
Hang in there. You're doing your best, and self-care is so crucial. 💪 You're not alone in this!