signs you grew up in a toxic family
The story
You don’t really know it’s toxic when you’re a kid. It’s just your normal. You think everyone’s house is like this, that every kid walks on eggshells, trying not to set someone off. That it’s normal to feel your stomach drop when you hear a car pull in the driveway. That it’s just how things are when conversations go from 0 to screaming in seconds. But then you grow up, and you start seeing things differently. You hear your friends talk about their parents, the way they support them, how they actually listen when they have a problem, and it hits you—your childhood was not normal. It was not okay. And suddenly, everything you tried to ignorre, to downplay, to make excuses for, comes rushing back.
One of the biggest signs you grew up in a toxic family? You don’t know how to take a compliment. When someone says something nice about you, your first instinct is to brush it off, to laugh awkwardly, to assume they’re just being polite. Because you spent years being told you weren’t enough. Not smart enough, not good enough, not anything enough. And now, even when you know better, it’s like your brain refuses to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re actually worth something. Instead, you’re always waiting for the but. The insult that follows the rare compliment. "You did well on that test, but don’t get cocky." "You look nice today, but too bad you don’t dress like that all the time." So when someone is genuinely kind to you, you feel uncomfortable. Like it’s a trick. Like love and approval are things you have to earn, not just something you get for existing.
Another sign? You apologize. Constantly. For everything. Even thiings that aren’t your fault. You say sorry when someone bumps into you. You say sorry when you ask a question, when you talk too much, when you take up space. Because growing up, you learned that the smallest mistake could set someone off, that your feelings weren’t valid unless they were convenient for everyone else. So you learned to shrink yourself. To be small. To be invisible. And now, even when no one is mad at you, you still feel like you’re in trouble. Like at any moment, someone’s going to yell, to criticize, to make you feel like a burden. And the worst part? Half the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. It’s just who you are now.
And then there’s trust. Or, well, lack of it. Because when the people who were supposed to protect you, love you, make you feel safe, were the same ones who hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you… how are you supposed to just trust anyone? How are you supposed to believe people mean what they say, that they won’t turn on you the second you let your guard down? You don’t. Instead, you assume everyone has a hidden agenda. That every act of kindness has a cost. That no one stays, not really. And so, you keep your distance. You let people in just enough to not be alone, but never enough that they could actually hurt you. And maybe one day, you’ll learn how to unlearn all of this. How to stop waiting for the worst to happen. How to believe that love doesn’t have to be painful. But right now? Right now, you’re just trying to get through the day without feeling like you’re still stuck in a house you left years ago. 😓
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Points of view
I have to say, I completely agree with this story!!! It's like hitting the nail on the head about growing up in a toxic family... Seriously, it's not rocket science to see how a messed-up home life---can warp your sense of self-worth and trust... The whole idea of walking on eggshells really paints a clear picture of the constant stress and anxiety kids in such families face...
And, let's not forget the awkwardness around compliments!!! If you've been fed negativity your whole life, it's no wonder you can't handle a kind word without thinking there's a catch... Apologizing for things that aren't your fault? Yep, totally common when you're used to thinking everything you do is wrong... It becomes second nature, and that's pretty sad...
Then there's the trust issue---being skeptical and closed off is understandable when the folks who should have protected you... Well, didn't... It's tough to let people in when you expect them to bail or betray you... Learning to break these habits seems crucial to having healthier relationships... Hope folks in this situation get the support they need... 😐
i totally agree with your story!!! it captures the struggles of growing up in a toxic family so well... 😢 the way it describes walking on eggshells is a classic sign of hypervigilance... something often seen in trauma cases... "you don’t really know it’s toxic when you’re a kid," really hits home; signals a lack of awareness that many face in such environments...
the mention of difficulty with accepting compliments is totally spot on!!! constant negative reinforcement can lead to issues with self-esteem, a common psychological outcome... the description of constant apologizing also mirrors what we see in people with low self-worth; they feel guilty even when not at fault...
the part about trust issues is very accurate... when protection is absent from caregivers, trust development becomes challenging... but!!! there is hope... with therapeutic intervention and self-awareness, individuals often overcome these patterns... 💪 it's important to remember that change and healing are possible...!!!
i mostly agree with the story;; it really nails the sad truth of growing up in a toxic family,!!! you captured the constant tension and anxiety perfectly,!!! it's obvious that this environment creates emotional dysfunction 😡 making it hard to trust others and accept compliments... the narrative addresses "walking on eggshells," a classic symptom of hypervigilance seen in trauma victims!!! the story shows how these adverse environments mess with your self-worth and social skills...
but hey!!! there's light at the end of the tunnel!!! while the psychological damage is real, people can change things for the better... with effort and maybe some therapy, you can break away from those old patterns... building a new mindset is possible, and healing those wounds is definitely doable!!! remember, personal growth takes time and commitment... so keep your chin up, because you can overcome this toxic past and create a healthier, happier future for yourself... 😊
probably the most accurate story I have seen about growing up like this.
hey there, i get where you're coming from, but i kinda disagree with a few points 🤔 i hear you on the toxic family vibes, but not everyone's stuck in that loop forever. i kinda feel like people can rise above it, you know? like, i've seen friends who've had rough childhoods but totally turned things around. it's not easy, but they found ways to break those patterns and find their peace.
some folks get super resilient from their tough times. like, one of my buddies grew up in a similar mess but used it as a push to build something better for himself. guess what i'm saying is, while it sucks, there's hope and change is totally possible. no doubt it's a journey, but it can still lead to a good place. so keep your head up, good things can happen.