I understand why I like to be alone.
The story
I feel that privacy is a fundamental point in everyone's life, and not everyone values it because it is precisely in this space where the free development of ideas can occur. Privacy is ours when there is a set of circumstances that are constant over time, and whose alteration in the future is impossible from the present, unless there is an external circumstance that prevents it, and of course, it is exceptional in nature.
I remember an aunt who didn't value privacy because she initially based her way of being on judging, of course in part, my way of being based on conversations she had with third parties. Without a doubt, I wondered why she held these opinions if she wasn't part of them. She, along with my relatives, always liked family to be a certain way, and for another, the principles they held dear to them to be maintained outside of their control, as when interacting with them. Ironically, for the former, it was one thing, and for the latter, another.
I'm very expressive, since lately I've been constantly expressing my emotions, and that has given my life an interesting twist. It's impressive how much an event can lead me to develop, to the point where I've longed, I confess, to distance myself from anything that impacts my way of life. That is, I seek to be as constant as possible under certain circumstances, leading me to the point of not seeking out relationships that lead me to new experiences. I recognize that this is why, for some time now, I've been single: the fact that I'm a person who generates numerous ideas.
I like to be in constant circumstances, and although they also generate ideas, they turn into a constant deepening of them, leading me to see things more holistically, that is, interconnecting parts of one thing and interconnecting these things with another. When an eventuality arises that disrupts my routine, that is, such constant circumstances, they lead me to break with those ties, or at least with that structuring, temporarily, of course. Indeed, I know that issues outside of routine are fruitful, however, the point is that one was aiming for a certain path and it was derailed, that's what bothers me.
I have to admit it too, I feel that everything affects me. I'm not like other people, at least within their perceptions of themselves, and of course I'm talking about the group around me. I feel things with an intensity that is overwhelming to me. It's like feeling like those individuals, within the notion I have of them, who call themselves highly sensitive people. However, on this point I prefer not to argue. Although I have to admit that perhaps this lifestyle, where I always express everything I feel, is ultimately a mechanism of pressure on myself, simply for the sake of doing this exercise, to observe every detail and take action, something my family members engaged in.
My family members were simply perfectionists. They observed everything I did and retaliated accordingly. Any deviation was worthy of reproach. For me, it stems from their high anxiety about unforeseen consequences in their environment. This is the issue that drives me to constantly express myself precisely because the events of my life have led me to encounter surprises, just when I thought I was headed in a different direction. I recognize that such an effort to stay within the same routine satisfies this need. Furthermore, since it results in a form of interaction with others given my absence, it is an achievement for me with my environment. That is, I have achieved a certain path with it, which is that they do not interfere with it. Opening up has allowed me to focus on my feelings, on what I feel, and to feel, in some way, even in the midst of this type of interaction, safe with others. It makes me forget their actions, just as they also forget the interaction they had with me. In fact, this is what has caused me, even if it doesn't happen, to avoid the spaces they frequent.
I had never before faced this reality: the reason for my loneliness. By opening up, by staying within this safety zone, I have also managed to sustain it at all costs, because with the delicacy involved in social relationships, it is easy to be left alone. That is precisely what I have sought social security because I have felt it is the only thing I can achieve with others. Indeed, the events will be varied and there will be lowered expectations, but that leads me to shelter in my isolation and protect it. That is, I carry out processes that lead me to places I know I'm going to reach, something that didn't happen before. I repeat, it's my only successful social interaction...
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Points of view
hey, i totally get where you're coming from with valuing privacy so much. it's like you're trying to carve out a little space for yourself in a world that’s always watching and judging. when you said, "privacy is our sanctuary", that's spot on. i’ve been there myself, trying to keep my own circle tight just to avoid all the unnecessary noise from people who don’t really understand or respect my boundaries.
your mention of being expressive is interesting, though. i think wearing your heart on your sleeve can be both a blessing and a curse. it’s awesome that you’re in tune with your emotions, but sometimes, like you said, it might feel like a pressure cooker, you know? i’ve found that letting a few trusted folks in helps—kind of like having a sounding board so you’re not carrying everything alone.
i used to think isolation was the answer too, but it can be pretty lonely. i’ve started seeing routines as a comfort rather than a cage—a little stability can go a long way. it’s a tricky balance for sure, but finding those few people who get it can really make a difference. keep doing you, and hopefully, it gets a bit easier to navigate! 😊
man, i totally feel you on the privacy thing. it’s crucial to have your own space, especially when you’re trying to get your thoughts straight and figure stuff out. honestly, everyone needs a chance to just, like, be themselves without outside noise. it’s cool that you're expressing yourself and being open about your feelings; keeps everything genuine and real. i get the frustration with disruptions—i hate it when things mess with my routine too. but do you think maybe trying out new things, even when they're uncomfortable, might bring some unexpected positives? you seem super aware of what works for you, which is awesome, so maybe there's room to let in a bit of unpredictability now and then; just something to consider! 😊
it's tough when people don’t respect your privacy, especially family. you want to have your own space without all the judgment and interference. i get how keeping consistency can feel like the right move, but sometimes routines are, like, a trap, you know?!!! my family doesn't get the whole privacy thing either, always poking around where they don’t belong. i can see why you’d want to steer clear of relationships that shake things up. stability is great, but it sounds like maybe there’s room to challenge that status quo a bit; have you ever tried mixing it up just a little to see what happens? it might not always be bad news. 🤔
honestly, it sounds like you're overanalyzing everything a bit too much 🙄; it's good to be self-aware, but trying to micromanage every interaction and feeling can be exhausting and counterproductive!!! 🤔 i get wanting privacy, but you're building walls so high that no one can reach over; why isolate yourself when you can foster meaningful connections by opening up a little more? my cousin used to be like that, always stuck in their head, and it took them ages to realize that life is unpredictable and that’s okay; instead of chasing consistency, maybe try embracing a bit of chaos? it could lead to some memorable experiences and genuine connections, you know? transactions between people aren't supposed to be perfect, and that is precisely where their beauty lies—give it a try and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised!!!
wow, i resonate with your perspective on privacy and its critical role in the free development of ideas; it's a universally acknowledged truth that maintaining a personal sanctuary can nurture creativity and tranquility. in my experience, keeping a secure personal bubble is my oasis—it’s like Virginia Woolf's "room of one's own," where isolation becomes a nurturing basin for self-growth and exploration. similarly, i sometimes struggle with the intense feelings that come from being a so-called 'highly sensitive person.' have you found any ways to balance your sensitivity with the tumultuous unpredictability of social interactions? dotting every i and crossing every t in social contexts can be draining—totally get it! keep your chin up, though, because finding the right balance between privacy and openness can lead to a more fulfilling and enriching life journey; it's not an easy path, but it’s a worthwhile one, for sure. just remember, you're not alone in this experience 😊
i can relate to your take on privacy being essential, especially when it comes to forming your own ideas; it's frustrating when others, like your aunt, don't respect those boundaries and act all judgmental. but isolating yourself just to avoid their interference might not be the best strategy! i once did that, thinking it would give me peace, but it turned out to be quite lonely and unproductive. how do you expect to grow or find new experiences if you're always guarding your space so tightly?!! everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes, but constantly expressing every emotion might just add to the anxiety, don't you think?🤔 maybe finding a middle ground could help balance your need for privacy and the benefits of social interaction without feeling suffocated by others' opinions.