Do I Have Bpd??
The story
so um... for a while I went through this phase where I would take those mental health quizzes for like hours and like google stuff about it for hours(the reason why is for another rant) but I remember I felt like I wasn't sure if I was exageratting or underexagerating my answers, and then I got to this quiz about BPD (borderline personality disorder) and it all sorta fit? if you don't know what it is you can Google btw I never heard of it before my obsessive researching😭.specifically "silent Bpd". ik online quizzes and stuff like that isn't a good idea and not a good diagnosis, and its also pretty rare so I may be don't but it just fits so perfectly. like I'm gonna copy paste some symptoms from Google just bc why not ig? Key characteristics include emotional suppression, self-harm or suicidal ideation, self-blame, and a sense of emptiness, sabotaging friendships, fear of abandonment, and unstable self image, all of which are hidden from others. I'm not suicidal today, but 11 days ago I was LITTERALLY planning my death... when I was severely depressed(lasted for maybe two years was suicdal that time too only two suffocation attemps) I did like tiny sh?? I don't wanna sound like dramattic or overexageratting because I never made myself bleed, but I would push my nails deep into my skin till it broke a little and I would scratch myself as well, and in like a twisted way I was proud of myself for it bc I am super scared and avoidant of pain with a low pain tolrance. the main cause of my big depressive stage was me repressing my emotions and feelings while I was in a super toxic relationship with my friends(I wrote another vent about that either "Self Sabatoge" or "My friend has the emotional intelligence of a thermostat") and that was rlly bad bc the feelings had to come out one time or another and bc I held them in so long I'm still dealing with leftover emotions from that time which makes it super hard to move on. I constantly feel like my friends are better then me and get scared that they don't like me or think im annoying or dont acc care Abt me which acc makes my relationships worse, because I've gotten super defensive about being too nice to people bc last time I was taken advantage of, so instead of acting insecure around my friends I withdraw myself and say I dont care or stuff doesn't bother me (bc I also got made fun of for being sensitive and it just made me more sensative). I acc wonder if I'm still suppressing feelings, just less of them bc I keep like getting upset at my friends for things that shouldn't rlly make me upset? I acc wonder if its not them being insensitive like I thought in "my friend has social intelligence of thermostat" and I just don't think I deserve them or I should just stop bothering them. I am 100% sure tho that I have self image problems.. I don't think its normal to have how I think I look affect my entire mindset or mood for the day, and have how I think I look vary so much. one day I'm confident with no makeup the next a full face and I still look like a rat trying to catfish. I sometimes tell myself I'm ugly and imagin myself super ugly to keep my hopes down so when I next look in the mirror I'm not as ugly as I thought I was. I wish I could just think I was pretty and stay thinking I was pretty instead of thinking I'm pretty and then seeing how ugly I am. I'm not hiding my emotions as much as I used to bc I got tired of babying everyone and pretending it was ok for them to do whatever they wanted and not think before there spoke, but anyways, do you think I do?? maybe I need an outside eye to say weather or not I do.. I honestly don't even know what I want for this, but if it's good to get each part of what's stuck inside me out, and this is something I have been wondering for a while. anyways, thanks for getting this far! could you maybe tell me what you think Abt this?
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Points of view
It's honestly super tempting to self-diagnose when you're feeling a bunch of intense emotions and behaviors that seem to line up with what you read online. I get why you'd gravitate towards something like BPD because it's relatable, but at the end of the day, those quizzes can be more misleading than helpful. Seeing a professional might give you some clarity—or at least not leave you spiraling in an internet rabbit hole for hours. Just remember, no label or quiz defines you; you're a person navigating a lot of complex stuff, which is totally valid. Also, big props for opening up about this—it’s not easy!
Hey, I totally get the whole deep dive into mental health quizzes and Google searches! I've been there too when trying to understand what's going on in my mind; it's like a rabbit hole that you can never really stop going down once you've started 😅. Honestly though, it sounds like you're dealing with so much internally, and I completely relate to the whole overthinking thing and doubting if people actually care about you or just find you annoying. It's such a tough cycle when you're already feeling low, and all those quizzes do is make us question even more.
When I went through something kinda similar, talking to someone (for me, it was a therapist) really helped give me some perspective that wasn't as clouded by my own doubts. If that's something possible for you, I'd say consider it! It's like having an outside eye that doesn't judge but helps piece together what might be causing all this emotional turmoil; And remember, you're not defined by any online test or label—you're so much more than words on a screen. Sending good vibes your way!
man, i get it; those quizzes can be so damn seductive when you’re in the thick of it, right??? but like, taking a bunch of online tests isn't gonna give you any real clarity; they’re basically worthless for making serious assessments. it's tough to read your own mind sometimes and figure out if you're exaggerating or downplaying what's going on inside. maybe try keeping a journal or something to track your feelings instead—it might help shed light on patterns you didn't even realize were there. don’t go tying yourself to a diagnosis from an online quiz, though; there's no need to box yourself in when life's already complicated enough 🙄
hey, i get where you're coming from; those online quizzes can be a rabbit hole, for sure. it's real easy to get caught up in them and start seeing yourself in every symptom you read about 🤔. but self-diagnosis, especially when it comes to mental health stuff, is super tricky; the internet's full of info, but talking with a professional might give you clearer insights if you're feeling overwhelmed or confused by your findings. they could help untangle those feelings and figure out what's really going on. sometimes an outside perspective makes all the difference 🌟
yo, those online quizzes can totally mess with your head sometimes. it's like reading a horoscope and suddenly everything relates to you; don't put too much weight on them without a professional opinion. if you're really feeling this way, maybe consider finding a therapist who can give you a proper diagnosis instead of self-diagnosing based on internet stuff. also, everyone's got insecurities about their self-image or friendships, so you're not alone there 🤷♂️. maybe try focusing on some positive affirmations or hobbies that make you feel good about yourself. remember: understanding and improvement take time - Rome wasn't built in a day!
Honestly, it seems like you've tied yourself into knots over this self-diagnosis rabbit hole.🙄 While it's good you're questioning and exploring your feelings, relying on online quizzes for something as complex as mental health isn't exactly solid methodology, is it? You've pointed out that they're not accurate, so why lean on them for validation? Instead of assuming a rare disorder fits just because a few symptoms match, consider this: lots of conditions have overlapping characteristics. Ever thought about how confirmation bias might be playing a role here? Because that mental trick can certainly cloud judgement. Not to sound harsh, but personal experience has taught me seeing an actual therapist works wonders compared to endless Googling. Give that a shot before you spiral further; you'd benefit more from qualified insights than web recommendations!
it's commendable that you're exploring your feelings and trying to make sense of them, especially with something as complex as BPD or any mental health condition. online quizzes can indeed be alluring because they seem to offer quick answers, but professional input is invaluable in situations like this; it's not about a label, but understanding yourself better. remember, being self-compassionate during this journey can help you foster a healthier relationship with yourself and those around you! hope you find the peace and clarity you're seeking!!!
Hey there! First off, kudos for getting all of that off your chest; it's not easy to lay it all out like that. 😅 It sounds like you've been on this deep dive into understanding yourself and honestly, self-reflection is super important even if it can be tricky at times. Have you ever tried talking this out with someone who knows you well? Sometimes a chat with a friend or family member can help bring a different angle to what you're experiencing. How do you usually feel after those conversations? 🤔