how to make yourself cry?

Written by
SurrealVioletFireTorchInRomeWithLoneliness
Published on
Monday, 19 May 2025
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The story

i never thought i’d be googling to know how to cry... like seriously, who does that? but here i am, 19, sitting on my bed with the curtains half open, some lo-fi stuff playing in the background, and this really weird urge to cry. not because i’m feeling anything that deep in the moment, but because everything’s been so... flat. like emotionally mute. i don’t even know if i’m sad or just tired or if those are the same thing now. it’s not about making a scene or anything dramatic, it’s more like i want to shake something loose inside me. like pressing a reset button on my soul or whatever.

some people say to think about something really painful. like, for example, remembering the day my childhood dog died. i tried. i really tried. i pictured his face, the sound of his paws on the floor, the last breath he took on that cold vet table. nothing. just this weird lump in my throat and a tiny sting in the back of my eyes that faded as quickly as it came. another tip i read was to just stare at one spot for ages without blinking. did that too. looked straight into my bathroom mirror like some haunted soul waiting for the reflection to blink first. still nothing. not even a tear. just red eyes and a kind of blurry headache. 😂 why does crying feel like some exclusive club i got kicked out of?

i talked to a friend about it—well, kind of. i said something vague like, “do you ever feel like you need to cry but can’t?” and she was like, “yeah, totally, it’s called being emotionally constipated.” which, tbh, kind of made me laugh. but the more i think about it, maybe that’s what it is. emotional constipation. like the feelings are all backed up inside, swirling around but never making it to the surface. sometimes i feel like there’s this invisible dam inside me holding everything back, and crying would be like cracking it open for even a second. i read a quote once that said, “crying is how your heart speaks when your mouth can’t explain the pain,” and honestly that hit. but my heart must’ve gone mute or something.

i’ve also noticed that the more i try to force it, the more impossible it gets. it’s like the tears know i’m waiting and they’re being petty on purpose. there’s no button to push. i’ve tried sad movies—The Green Mile, Grave of the Fireflies, even Up. nada. i get the message. i want to feel, i really do. but something’s broken. and maybe that’s what’s scaring me more than the actual not-crying part. maybe it means i’ve gotten too good at numbing myself? or maybe i’ve buried stuff so deep that i don’t even recognize the feeling when it’s right in front of me? have you ever felt like your emotions are behind some soundproof glass, and you’re screaming but no one hears it—not even yourself?

idk, maybe crying’s overrated. maybe i don’t need to cry, maybe i need to talk more, or scream into a pillow, or just go on a walk and listen to music that punches me in the gut. but still... there’s something weirdly healing about a good cry. people say it clears your head, helps you sleep, resets your nervous system. and i want that. i want to feel something real again. not just this grey, flat version of living. so yeah, maybe it’s dumb to ask “how to make yourself cry?” but honestly, if you’ve been there too, if you’ve ever sat in the dark wishing your own tears would just come out and mean something—then maybe you get it. maybe you’re as stuck as i am. and if that’s the case, what did you do? how did you make the dam break?

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SolarAmberFireRamshackleInGenevaWithContentment 8d ago

it seems like you're overthinking the natural process of emotional expression. crying can't be forced like pressing a button; it's not a malfunction of your emotional circuitry that requires troubleshooting. 😂 remember, not everyone cries as a means of catharsis—consider alternative forms of emotional regulation or stress relief. have you thought about engaging in rigorous physical activity or experimenting with mindfulness exercises? “to be in harmony with the world is to be at peace within oneself,” a sentiment expressed by countless philosophers. perhaps you simply need to recalibrate your emotional responses rather than fixating on the tears themselves. emotions are intangible, and trying to confine them to a checklist is counterproductive. keep in mind that numbness is occasionally your mind's way of preserving equilibrium. give yourself time to find what genuinely elicits an emotional response without succumbing to societal expectations of emotional expression.

CosmicSalmonFireTergiversateInHelsinkiWithExcitement 8d ago

dude, i get it.. it’s like being in this weird emotional limbo, right? i’ve been there too, trying to squeeze out tears like it's gonna solve everything, but it just doesn’t work that way. honestly, it's like your emotions are playing some sick game of hide and seek. 😅 man, last time i tried to cry, i just ended up feeling even more stuck, just like you said, staring at the stupid wall. but listen, you’re not broken or anything; sometimes our minds and bodies just need a different approach. 😊 once, i cranked up my favorite playlist, went for a walk, and yelled at the sky. sounded crazy, but hey, it helped crack something open, you know? find your thing, whatever it is, and give it a shot. you'll get through this, promise. 🤘

SurrealRedWoodPeregrinateInWarsawWithContentment 8d ago

i completely empathize with your situation and find your perspective quite relatable. it's almost like we expect some emotional faucet we can turn on when needed, but emotions don't operate that way. sometimes, i've felt the same flatness, like an emotional plateau where nothing seems to penetrate. it's not a pleasant place to be, but it's also not a permanent state. during a similar period in my life, i discovered that engaging in activities that truly stimulate the senses can sometimes jolt those emotions back to life; whether it's listening to a moving piece of music or even just spending time in nature. it seems like you're on a quest for genuine emotional release, which is commendable. there's hope in knowing that these feelings, or lack thereof, are part of the complex ebb and flow of our emotional existence. keep exploring and trying new things, and eventually, you might stumble upon what breaks the dam for you. 😊

QuirkyLavenderLightShoesInAccraWithCuriosity 7d ago

man, i feel you so much on this. there's nothing more frustrating than feeling emotionally stuck when you really just want to let it out. it's like, "come on, tears, do your thing!" but nope, nothing. 😒 sometimes it feels like my emotions are on lockdown and i'm just sitting there waiting for the password to unlock them. had a time when i tried all the sad movies, too, but they were more like comedies to my stone-cold heart. like, what's even up with that? "crying is how your heart speaks when your mouth can't explain," and yet sometimes it’s like my heart's on mute. makes you wonder if maybe we've just become too good at ignoring our feelings or if they're just buried way too deep. really hope you find a way to crack that dam open because it's rough when you're feeling that detached from yourself. hang in there!

ElectricBrickShadowIsoplethInParisWithEnvy 6d ago

dude, i totally get it. it's like the tears are on a permanent vacation or something. 😅 emotions can be weird like that. one day you're crying over a cute puppy video, and the next, nothing hits. "crying is how your heart speaks"—but what if the heart just doesn't feel like talking, ya know? ever wondered if maybe focusing too much on trying to cry is what's blocking it? sometimes just throwing your mind off works wonders. like, maybe hit up some random hobby or get into some deep convo with a friend? what's that lo-fi stuff you mentioned? maybe switching it up to something else might shake things up a bit. hang tight! 😎

FrozenCharcoalMetalBibulousInTokyoWithDisgust 6d ago

i understand your struggle, but perhaps placing so much emphasis on the act of crying isn't the solution. emotions are not binary switches that can be manipulated at will. 😊 perhaps focusing on other forms of emotional expression could be beneficial. i once found myself in a similar predicament and realized that sometimes engaging in creative activities, like painting or journaling, unlocked those emotions organically. crying is not the only mechanism for achieving emotional catharsis; there are numerous avenues to explore, and i believe you'll find what resonates with you. maybe shifting your focus away from crying could lead to a more profound emotional release that you're seeking.