I can't stop crying
The story
i swear i dont even kno whats wrong wth me anymore. i just cant stop. like it dont even make sense?? one second im fine, just sittin there, and then boom, tears. no reason, no warning, just happns. nd then i try to stop but it makes it worse. my chest feels tight, my throat hurts, my eyes all blurry, and i just sit there like an idiot wth my face all wet like a dam broke inside me or somthing. i try wipin them away but they just keep comming. i hate it, i hate it so much. like wtf am i even crying for? i dont even kno anymore. everything? nothing? both? its like my brain just gave up tryna hold it all in and now its like “ok time to cry FOREVER i guess.”
i keep tellin myself “stop, stop, stop” but it dont work. even when im out, like in public, it still happens. i be in class, tryna focus, then my eyes start burnin and im like not now, pls but nope, the stupid tears dont care. nd then i gotta pretend im rubbin my face or lookin down at my phone so no one notices, but i know they do. people glance at me but no one says nuthin, which makes it worse bc like… do they not care or do they just not wanna deal wth me?? probly both. nd then i get home thinkin maybe ill feel better but nah, soon as im alone it starts again. like wtf body can u just chill?? i get it, life sucks, but can we NOT be a leaky faucet 24/7??
nothin even helps. music? just makes me cry harder. tv? reminds me of stuff. sleeping? HA, as if. my mind dont shut up even when i close my eyes. i lay there all tired but my head keep spinnin, thinkin bout every dumb thing, every mistake, every stupid moment. nd then i get mad at myself, like why am i even like this? but then i start crying AGAIN bc i feel bad for myself which is so dumb. i dont even kno if its stress, sadness, anger, or just my brain bein broken. maybe all of it at once.
i just want it to stop. i want a break from feelin like this, from bein this. but i dont kno how. i keep thinkin maybe tomrrow will be better, maybe i just need to sleep, maybe i just need time. but then another day comes and it’s the same. nd i start thinkin, wht if this is just how it is now? wht if i never stop? bc honestly, right now? i really feel like i never will.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I've read your story, and I have to say, it’s like my own emotional thermostat is stuck in some endless loop of dysfunction. Seriously, your "release the floodgates" episodes resonate with me. I swear, it's like living in a perpetual state of emotional dysregulation. I get how it feels; trying to “stop, stop, stop” and nothing working is like screaming into a void. Then, the whole pretending to rub your face or fake a phone-check thing? Man, classic. I've pulled that stunt more times than I’d like to admit, and let me tell you, it doesn’t fool anyone. It's like Mark Twain said: “There are lies, damned lies, and crying in public."
When you mentioned feeling even worse when people don’t say anything, I felt that one too. It’s like they're avoiding a behavioral psychologist case study! You might wonder if people don’t care or just don't wanna deal, but hey, who cares what those robot-eyed jerks think, right? Ain’t nobody got time to be a puddle of tears all the time but seems like life just ain't being linear or kind.
Music and TV being triggers? Oh, been there. It’s so ridiculous, right? Using those things for distraction and having them betrayal you. It's almost Shakespearean level tragic. I mean, I’ve heard that “time heals all wounds” but logic is hard to accept when you drown in your own salty existential crises every night. Honestly, it sounds like a chronic condition; not sure if Prozac, happy thoughts, or a friggin' miracle would even help at this point. Here's hoping tomorrow isn't another "steal the tissues" day. 🤷♂️
Wow, I totally get what you're saying, it's like you're living in my head!!!
remember that you're not alone in how you feel... it might seem never-ending now but believe me: you'll come out stronger on the other side!!! keep holding on and know that brighter days are ahead..
I gotta say: I don't really get where you're coming from... it just seems like you're letting yourself get carried away without trying to get a grip on things! my dude , maybe you just need to shift your mindset a little: it's not about drowning in the feels but trying to see past the chaos and find the calm! yeah life can be tough, but seriously it's not all doom and gloom!! everyone's got their own loads to carry and acting like a leaky faucet isn't gonna fix anything; you gotta take a step back and breathe find what works for you... whether it's talking to someone or just finding a hobby that lifts your spirits! for real, it's not the end of the world...
I really feel you on this one, and I gotta say, your story speaks volumes!!! It's almost like you're articulating a universal experience that many of us endure but rarely express so candidly. I’ve been there myself, feeling like a walking contradiction, crying for "no reason" and wondering when it’ll end. Like Aristotle once mused, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom," and perhaps, in these emotional thunderstorms, there's a lesson or insight waiting to shine through🌈.
Yes, the public crying thing can be the absolute worst; I've had moments where I'm sitting at my desk, hoping desperately that no one catches on. It's like your mind goes, "Well, here we go again!"—and there's just no stopping it. You're absolutely right, everything or nothing might trigger these intense emotions, and sometimes there's simply no deciphering it. But, on the other hand, isn't it fascinating how humans experience such depths of feeling? It’s like life’s way of reminding us that we’re truly alive, even if it feels like a malfunction at times!!!
I hope with time, and maybe a bit of introspection, you'll find the clarity and peace you're searching for. It's a journey, one that isn't usually straightforward, but having faith that there’s a light at the end of this tunnel is crucial. Keep holding on to hope, my friend, because better days are surely ahead; just take it one day at a time.