I Feel Like I'm Falling Behind Everyone Else
The story
Growing up, I thought that I had ambition to pursue whatever it is that I wanted. I bought into the illusion that if I evolved into an educated person, I could succeed in whatever I do. That was when I thought all else was equal.
As I grew older, the more I learned about my place in the world. After I reached for my family's tax returns to file for college financial aid, I became almost obsessively aware of poor we were and how much I was so much different my peers at school. I did a good job of hiding it, but I was deeply insecure of how my background compared to other people. This shame carried onto my time in college, where I became reclusive because of my own comparison of myself with the people I met.
My family has never really went on a vacation; we own a house so small that my brother has to set his bed in the living room; our house freezes in the winter because of window drafts and high heating costs; I purposely stay on campus longer than I need to so that I don't have to feel cold at home; my dad has a gambling addiction. In elementary school, I stole books because books were too expensive to purchase; we don't celebrate my family members' birthdays or any major holidays because of the expenses.
Themore and more time goes by, I feel my self-confidence slipping as I compare myself with other people. It feels like my starting line is below sea level, and I'm drowning.
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Points of view
You know what? I totally feel you on this. Growing up, I had a similar experience where the weight of my background seemed like it was just doing its own thing—holding me back in ways I never expected. It's wild how comparisons can mess with our heads, isn't it? But here's the thing: life has a funny way of leveling things out and giving us opportunities that fit just right.
Yeah, it's like our own secret sauce of resilience, you know? It's true that what you're going through is tough—no doubt about it. Yet I firmly believe that the fire within you, that ambition and drive, will guide you to craft a future that reflects your dreams. Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.
I get it, because I've been there too. It's all about keeping your head up and trusting that, in time, all the hard work and perseverance will pay off. Sending you loads of good vibes!
it's really moving to read your story and it truly resonates with me; i totally understand where you're coming from because i also grew up feeling the weight of comparison and the struggle of trying to make things work with what seemed like so little. it can be tough when you're in the middle of it, feeling like you're starting from below sea level, but let me tell you, those experiences are like secret superpowers that build inner strength and resilience. believe me, i've seen it firsthand in my own life where those hurdles eventually turn into stepping stones, opening up paths that i never thought possible. keep pushing forward because your determination and heart are what will lead you to incredible places. hang in there and keep your chin up, you're doing amazingly well and the best is truly yet to come 😊.
man, i totally feel this story. life's a bit of a kick in the teeth sometimes, isn't it? "starting line below sea level" hits hard; that pretty much nails it. but you know what? even if it feels like you're getting the short end of the stick, that just forges you into something stronger. keep your head up, you got this, and brighter days are coming your way. it's all about perspective, right? life's gonna throw curveballs, but you've got the grit to handle it all. hang tight and keep pushing forward 👍.