I don't understand why I feel the way i do
The story
Hey... this is gonna be tough to say.
TW // talk about rape
so... my partner, K, has been raped a few times in her life. I understand it to a degree, having been sa'd multiple times and raped once myself, but I can't seem to silence my thoughts. Whenever I am alone thinking, I for some reason start to think about the fact that she was raped, and I get urges to ask for descriptive details about them, things like who it was, what their relation was to her, where it happened, how it happened, what they did, basically things that should never be asked. I am not necessarily afraid that I am going to slip up and end up asking them, but I'm worried where they come from, because it feels almost like i want to know the details so i can imagine myself in that situation. Almost like I want to have lived her life and experienced all the good and bad she's been through and its kind of eating me up. I can't seem to understand why i want to be her so badly.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hello, I appreciate your candor in sharing this, but it seems like you're grappling with some intense feelings. Maybe this focus on details isn't about understanding her experiences?? When I went through something similar, I found that empathy and active listening helped way more than seeking details. It's good to want to connect, just remember it’s her story to share or not. Remember to reflect on whether you're projecting your experiences onto hers; that self-awareness can be liberating. Stay strong and compassionate!
I completely understand your perspective. It's natural to have such thoughts when dealing with trauma. However, dwelling on the specifics might not be constructive!!! It can be more beneficial to focus on healing together. In the realm of trauma recovery, maintaining boundaries is crucial. Your instincts to support are on point, just channel them in a way that respects both your experiences. You've got this!!!
totally makes sense. sometimes those thoughts just creep in, ya know? when you’ve been through similar stuff, it's only human to wanna understand it all. as they say, "curiosity killed the cat," but it's more about finding your own peace with it; don’t beat yourself up. just keep being there for her and focus on being supportive, that’s what really matters. keep your chin up, you're doing your best! 👍
yeah, i totally get what you're saying. i've had those weird thoughts pop up too. it's kinda like your brain messing with you, right? 🤔 "mind over matter" ain't so easy sometimes. but man, focusing on all those details doesn't really help anyone. been there, done that, and trust me, it only makes things worse. instead of worrying about living her life, maybe just stick to being a supportive partner. #keepitreal 🙄 just my two cents.