I'm done with my PTSD
The story
I have about 4.6g of benadryl I'm prepared to take. Give me a reason not to. Not the stupid bullshit of "it'll get better" because it's not, my mental health is getting worse, my physical health is getting worse, and my thoughts have just been getting darker and darker. I'm stuck with my trauma, there's no getting around the ptsd, I can't get help for myself and when I try to reach out I just get told that I've gotten all the help they can give. The only other option really is getting committed but I would literally rather die than get committed and have to deal with everyone finding out + the costs. What reason do I have to live? I have my girlfriend but I just cause her more problems than the ones she already has, she's about it. My parents don't really care about me, and I use and manipulate my friends too much they'd be better without me being around.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I completely get where you're coming from, and I honestly see the situation exactly as you do; it's like you've got this huge weight on your shoulders, and no one's taken the time to really see how heavy it's been for you. I'm truly sorry to hear about all the struggles you're going through and totally get the frustration and pain. I truly believe there's always a sliver of hope hiding around the corner. Sometimes, it feels like the world's just not giving you any breaks, and everyone else around you seems to be doing just fine.
Keep holding on to that bond you have with your girlfriend, because no matter what, that connection's worth more than gold. Even if it feels like you're causing trouble, it shows there's still love and care there. In time, with small steps, a ray of light can shine through the cracks and help ease your burdens and guide you to better days ahead.
totally hear you on this and it's rough when it feels like you've hit a wall... my own experience with burnout taught me that sometimes you gotta "ride the wave" (and it sucks, yeah) 😞
i agree it's tough handling trauma and mental health with all the ups and downs; it's like trying to juggle too many balls at once but remember you're not just a burden to your girlfriend! she might see things differently even when you're struggling a lot it's important to take breaks and "reset your head" every once in a while... sometimes just hitting pause can make a difference in how you see things!
it would be best to seek professional help and consider therapy. they can give coounselling, even medication to help you.