Im Still Upset😭
The story
So I hv this girl I’m currently best friends with I’m just gonna say her name bc like 1,000 girls hv it. So I’ve been best friends with Sofia only recently we acc only became friends
Friends because we had mutual ones but anyways in around middle school I started getting really sensitive about things and for a while I thought I was bi and like I’m not right now, but she would say I was like mentally insane because of it and I had about three other friends in that friend group they were all friends from elementary school and they honestly never really listened to me like maybe I didn’t talk enough or like didn’t try hard enough to be included but like I feel like I did like that’s what they say that I didn’t try hard enough to be included and that it was a really long time ago. There was like a lot of little things that she did like I remember there’s this homophobic guy that went to another school and she says that she didn’t but I feel like she gave him my phone number and then he texted me saying about how like people act like insert school knew I was dating a girl and they don’t support my white @ss and then swore at me and it didn’t actually bother me, but it was the fact that she like did this and before she gave him my number she was talking to him about like hey do you know that (my name) is dating a girl and I literally wasn’t. She was actually just making stuff up… well I guess maybe she wasn’t because like I had this joke that there’s this girl that was my wife, but it was actually a joke like I literally told her it was like a platonic wife and also we were in middle school like I was not dating anyone… and so she was talking bad behind my back about me with this homophobic guy and saying how weird and unnatural it was and so one of my other friends, L she sent me pictures of the Gmail’s that Sofia sent to that guy and so having like solid evidence, I confronted her about it but around that time I was getting made fun of for being too sensitive about stuff so I tried to make it like a joke like Sofia I just heard that you were talking behind my back with this guy what but like I made it sound like a joke and she just like laughed like straight up laughed like I mean I guess I was doing as a joke but and like denied it, but like what I literally saw the Gmails…. And there was like a lot of other things that she did like she made fun of some of my other friends constantly she basically called me ugly a bunch of times, but those might’ve been jokes to be honest. So obviously all of this like really hurt my feelings like honestly the only reason I actually think I thought I was bi was because my friendship with them was so bad that I thought having actual friends was like liking someone and so because of that I became like severely depressed. It started off as me just wanting to run away, and I was actually making plans to run away like I was. I had this whole thing planned like I was gonna like run away into the woods and I had this like drinking straw you can get water from rivers and it’ll be clean, but after that once I didn’t do that and nothing got better. I started considering killing myself and it was so bad like every single day that was all that I could think about like constantly ringing in my head I just wanna die. I just wanna die. I just wanna die and I would cry myself to sleep every single night I’d call all the suicide hotline people. They never helped. I’m terrified of pain, but I actually managed to cut myself a little and I know this doesn’t count as like self harm, but even now I still sometimes like pinch myself really hard or scratch myself and like in sort of like a weird way I’m proud of it cause like I don’t know it makes me feel less weak, like I hurt myself That makes me feel less weak. One time I did kind of like a pathetic suicide attempt I tried to suffocate myself with a pillow obviously it didn’t work. And so like all of what she said and with my other friends, but that’s another story like really messed me up in the head and right now I’m in counseling and I’m actually gonna be getting like antidepressants and I still can’t tell if it’s all in my head or not like she didn’t mean it like she actually did not mean it or maybe she did I mean she meant everything she said, but she just didn’t mean it to hurt me because like she doesn’t think before she speaks, but I’m honestly so tired of like Excusing her for what she did like. She’s apologized and stuff, but it doesn’t help. It does not take away the three years that’s still going on that I’m depressed and sad and wanting to kill myself. I just can’t blame her for it because she always has an excuse and it makes me feel crazy whenever I like talk to her about it so that was all like the past stuff there’s a lot happening right now, but I don’t think it will allow me to have this many words so thanks for reading all of this I hope you have a good day
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Points of view
Wow, that sounds really intense 😟; it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed with everything that's happened. It’s good to hear you’re getting support through counseling and soon medication, even if it feels like it’s taking too long. I had a friend once who kept dismissing how their actions affected me, and it wasn’t till I took a step back that things made sense to me. Sometimes distance can bring clarity and peace, which might help more than trying to make sense of her excuses all the time. Stay strong!
Man, that's a tough situation; it sucks when someone who’s supposed to be your friend behaves like that. It's important to remember, though, you're doing the right thing by focusing on your mental health and getting help. Trying to understand or justify her actions might not change things: you deserve friends who truly support you and accept you for who you are. Keep prioritizing yourself, it sounds like you're on the right path now!
thank you!
reading your story really makes me wonder... how do people like her even have the gall to call themselves friends??? it's so messed up that she thought it was okay to spread those lies and then gaslight you into thinking you're overreacting; sometimes, one apology just doesn't cut it when the damage runs deep. i'm sorry you've endured such a toxic environment.. but legit, you deserve better and should never feel guilty for seeking healthier connections. focus on healing and surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being, because you're worth it.
thank you :)
have you thought about setting boundaries with sofia?
yes I have had multipul conversations with her and every time she says she thinks I am making my own problems and I need to distract myself or she thinks its "her tone" but doesn't know how to stop it.
It’s utterly disappointing when someone you trust betrays it with such callous disregard for your feelings. Sofia's behavior, especially providing that homophobic guy with ammunition against you, was not just inconsiderate but outright reprehensible; the fact that she laughed it off only adds insult to injury. It's commendable that you've sought professional help and are working on healing despite her insensitivity and the turmoil it's caused in your life. Keep focusing on yourself and remember that true friends will respect and support your journey without making excuses for their hurtful conduct.
Dang, that's a really tough spot you're in. Friendships can be so complicated sometimes, especially when someone you trust doesn't have your back like they should. It sounds like you've been through a lot with Sofia and the other friends; I'm glad to hear you're getting professional help because no one should feel as low as you've described. Personally, I've learned that it’s important to know when to let go of toxic relationships, regardless of past apologies or excuses: sometimes it's just about protecting your own peace and moving forward. You deserve friends who genuinely care and lift you up; make sure you surround yourself with those who bring positivity into your life. Stay strong!
It’s deeply unsettling to see someone you trust act so carelessly, especially when those actions impact your wellbeing. Struggling with the emotional aftermath is no small feat, and it’s crucial you're seeking professional support. The journey through depression can be incredibly isolating, but remember you're not alone in this battle; connecting with others who understand or have been through similar experiences can sometimes provide comfort. In time, you might find that distancing yourself from toxic relationships is one of the strongest things you can do for yourself.
yo, that sounds like an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and betrayal. i totally get how you’re feeling like you can't win no matter what because she keeps making excuses or pretending it’s all a joke 😤 it's crazy how people don't realize the impact of their words and actions on someone else's mental health. i've learned through my own stuff that sometimes we just have to accept some friendships are more draining than they’re worth, no matter how many apologies roll in. keep focusing on your healing journey; true friends will appreciate and support the real you without making things so complicated. keep your head up! 🌟
wow, what a rough situation you're navigating!!! it's wild how some people can just casually disregard your feelings like that. i mean, in middle school we all did or said things without fully understanding the consequences, but that doesn't make it okay for sofia to treat you like this; her actions definitely crossed a line. i've been there too where a so-called "friend" made my life harder and turned things upside down, and it really shook my trust in people for a while. keep doing what you're doing! focusing on professional help is key because healing takes time! remember, you deserve friends who lift you up and genuinely have your back! 🤗 hang in there!
Wow, that's such a mess to deal with; I'm sorry you're going through this. It's wild how some people can seem like friends but turn out to be anything but. It might be time to think about what friendship means to you and if they're worth the emotional drain. I know it feels confusing, like she didn't mean harm intentionally, but actions speak louder than words. Focus on building connections with those who really value and respect you; you've got so much strength within you, even if it doesn't feel that way right now!
wow, that's a lot to handle. it’s really messed up how people can impact your life so deeply with their words and actions without even realizing it or caring enough to stop. i’ve been there too, where you keep questioning if you're overreacting but honestly, feelings are valid, no matter what anyone says. it's super important now to focus on rebuilding yourself and finding those who genuinely want the best for you! those friends are out there! don't lose hope, healing takes time but you're already making strides just by sharing your story and seeking help. hang in there!