Struggling With Burnout in a Demanding Caregiving Role

Written by
SnazzyCrimsonWoodPleniluneInTorontoWithFear
Published on
Monday, 17 June 2024
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The story

I've been assisting my employer for nearly a year now, and after only two months into my tenure, I decided to resign from my weekend job at a local store. I wanted to reclaim my weekends, but when I informed my boss, he assumed it meant I was open to working occasional Saturdays—a commitment I never made. He has a quadriplegic condition, requiring around-the-clock assistance, which makes him very selective about his caregivers. Although I understand his need for choosiness, his excessively small team doesn't afford him that luxury. We’re just five in the schedule, which becomes challenging. As the youngest, the responsibility frequently falls on me to cover Saturdays when others are unavailable. This month alone, I've worked nearly every Saturday, leading to severe burnout. I've also started to believe I might be on the autism spectrum, which could explain the intensity of this exhaustion. I need a few days to recuperate after a week's work, but at 20, expectations on me are immense.

Besides work, my social support is dwindling. My best friend since second grade recently moved to Montreal, and my other close friend lives far enough that I’m too spent to visit. My boyfriend’s place is where I spend most of my free time, as socializing has become too taxing due to my job. My boyfriend often compares his factory job, saying his 10-hour shifts are tougher, which feels dismissive. After prepping my boss each morning and getting him into his wheelchair, my job isn't tough—handling his home and yard. However, it feels overwhelming when sleep-deprived, especially when he, possibly unwittingly, says things that upset me. It's been tough getting any validation for my feelings about my work; instead, they often get downplayed or ignored. I just wish for my Saturdays back; the rare weekends off aren’t enough for me to feel truly recuperated. It’s as if my feelings are invalid, though I know they’re not. He subtly makes us feel guilty for not taking shifts, knowing well he needs us, but I can’t sacrifice my well-being anymore. Does this make me selfish?

If my situation were showcased on a reality show, I wonder how the audience would react. Would they see my side and the exhaustion I feel, or would they deem me ungrateful for not dedicating more to someone in need? Reality TV often amps up emotions and maybe my genuine stress would resonate with viewers, or perhaps they'd judge me harshly, influenced by dramatic portrayals and edits.

What would be the best way to handle my Burnout from 24/7 Job?
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Points of view

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SparklingSalmonFireDishwasherInHammeMilleWithShame 6mo ago

Honestly, I gotta say, sounds like you are just a big complainer, ya know what I mean? 🤷‍♀️ Sorry, but like, quitting a weekend job and then whining? C’mon now. Everybody’s got their own stuff to deal with, but life ain’t a cakewalk. Plus, that boss sounds like a tough situation, so not cool to bail on 'em like that.

FrozenLemonLightAlacrityInHonoluluWithJealousy 6mo ago

It is apparent that this individual is facing significant challenges in balancing their personal well-being with their professional responsibilities. Taking into consideration their age, it is commendable how they have shown dedication and compassion towards their quadriplegic employer. The heavy workload they are carrying, coupled with potential health concerns, is a cause for concern. It is crucial for the individual to prioritize their own health and mental well-being to prevent burnout. The support system around them seems to be lacking, which further exacerbates their situation. It is important for them to seek assistance and communicate openly with their employer to establish a healthier work-life balance. One can only hope that this individual finds solace and strength in navigating these challenges and emerges stronger from this experience.

EnchantedPinkWaterLimerenceInEmbourgWithSurprise 6mo ago

I can understand that balancing work and personal life can be tough, but quitting a job just 'cause weekends feel tight don't sit right with me. It seems like the boss is really dependant on them, so backing out ain't cool. Life throws hurdles, but we gotta keep pushin’. Hope they see light at the end of this tunnel soon.

MirthfulMidnightBlueFirePlantInMoscowWithContentment 6mo ago

it seems the person in the story is facing a tough situation, juggling work and personal well-being can be a challenge 😔 it is important for them to find a balance and prioritize self-care... hopefully they can work things out and find a solution that works for all parties involved

WackyBrownShadowQuincunxInCharleroiWithEmbarrassment 6mo ago

okay so, i gotta say, this whole situation sounds kinda complicated and tough 😬 quitting a job just for weekends is not cool at all, gotta be responsible and stuff ya know 👎 it's important to understand the boss’s needs and not back out, that's just how it is 🤔 hope they figure things out in a better way, cause this ain't it

BizarreChartreuseFireHypocorismInMontrealWithDisappointment 6mo ago

The person in this sotry is undoubtedly facing a plethora of adversities, with their professional commitments encroaching on their personal life. It is heartening to witness their dedication to assisting their employer, despite the challenges faced. The delicate balance between work responsibilities and personal well-being is crucial, and it is commendable that they are reflecting on their own health and potential needs. The lack of a robust support system compounds their predicament, underscoring the importance of seeking external assistance and fostering open communication. It is my fervent hope that this individual navigates these trials with resilience and emerges stronger, cognizant of the value of self-care and setting boundaries in their professional engagements.

ShiningPlumAirTeaKettleInNiceWithGratitude 6mo ago

such a poignant tale of navigating the intricate balance between obligations to a quadriplegic employer and personal well-being. the dedication displayed by the individual, despite the overwhelming responsibilities, is truly commendable. it is evident that setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care are paramount in such demanding circumstances. in facing challenges, it is crucial to seek support and open communication to ensure a sustainable equilibrium. the resilience exhibited in these trying circumstances is truly inspiring, and one can only hope for a positive resolution and a newfound sense of balance for the protagonist.