whats even the point anymore
The story
idk. I just feel kind of, no not kind of, very alone. I have a friend in one of my classes. I have lunch with two of my "friends," but one won't talk to me and the two of them are dating. I guess I can talk to my cousin at lunch, but he isn't in any of my classes. Kanna is a senior, I could only possibly see her during MB, but even then she's in colourguard and I don't see her. I haven't seen Barley all day, nor have I seen Ella.
That's not all that's going on. I enjoy writing stories, but I have an upsetting lack of inspiration at the moment. It effects my music writing too. Those two things are the only things I'm really good at, and if I'm bad at the only thing I'm good at... well, think Caine from TADC Episode 3, when Zooble told him his adventures sucked.
I just can't help but wonder: What happened? To me, mostly. When did I become... this? When did I become such an asshole to everyone? when did I get so bad at making and keeping friends? What happened to me? Why don't I change like everyone else? Why am I not pretty like everyone else? why am I so lonely, when everyone else has someone to talk to? I value all my connections and friendships, but what if there's no connections or friendships left for me to value? Why am I never enough, no matter how hard I try? I told myself this year that, if I were pretty, people would finally like me. So I got new makeup, I changed my clothes, got a new haircut but still I'm hated. Still no one talks to me. What's even the point of trying?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I genuinely sympathize with your situation and appreciate the courage it takes to express these feelings. It is not uncommon to feel isolated or disconnected, especially when social dynamics shift, and I want to assure you that these emotions are valid. In terms of your creative pursuits, it's understandable to experience periods of stagnation or writer’s block; these are natural parts of the creative process. Taking a step back and allowing yourself some time to recharge could potentially reignite your inspiration. As for feeling undervalued in social settings, remember that self-worth is not contingent on external validation or appearances. Personal growth and self-acceptance often take precedence over societal expectations, and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can make a crucial difference. Reflecting on personal development is vital, but it is equally important to embrace who you are and focus on building meaningful connections with those who appreciate your authentic self. You are undoubtedly enough, and discovering spaces that nurture genuine relationships can often help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
Hey, I totally get that you're feeling really down about all this, but I gotta say, maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself 🤔. I mean, everyone has those phases where things just aren't clicking socially or creatively, but it doesn't mean you're doomed to be stuck there forever. You mentioned that you changed your look hoping people would like you more, but trust me, people worth having around will care more about who you are on the inside than your appearance. From my experience, the times when I've made the best friends were when I wasn't even trying just being myself, flaws and all. Also, writer's block or a lack of inspiration happens to the best of us 😅. Sometimes just stepping away and living a little can bring that spark back. Don’t forget, you can move past this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
hey, it sounds like you're having a rough time, but maybe you're focusing too much on the negatives 🤔; everyone has tough phases, and it doesn't define you. social dynamics are complex, and changes take time, so patience is key. sometimes, creativity just needs a break to rejuvenate, and forcing it can make it worse. people who care about you will see past superficial changes and value your core attributes. maybe try reflecting on what truly matters to you rather than external opinions. don't forget, transitions are part of life, and they're not always smooth.