I'm just tired
The story
This typing might not make sense I just heads up.
Hi I'm fake name Melody I'm 13 years old I'm a girl and I'm in an agency and this is my first year they do this thing called arts under this international blah blah blah blah blah I don't know called and I'm doing so many things the voice acting improv film scene photography singing dancing in voice acting and I just I'm making my own dance I don't know how I've never done it before I'm sick 2 weeks before we go out and I just feel like everything is against me I can't practice my singing I can't practice my scripts and I'm forcing myself to keep choreographing but I am a gymnast so there's a lot of tumbling and flipping and so I have to go to the football field to do it and I haven't been able to go because I'm sick and so I'm making myself go but I'm not always to drive so I have to take my brother and I'm just so constantly stressed every single time I try to cry about it because I feel like there's an elephant sitting my chest my mom and dad step dad and stepmom all said this can be fixed there's nothing to cry about there's nothing to cry about if it can be fixed don't cry blah blah blah and I feel like I can't cry and I just got done with breakdown I couldn't breathe and I just what it cry but I can't because I don't I feel guilty every single time I do and even when I'm sleepy I can't sleep anymore I just can't do this I'm just so tired and I'm not going to do nothing extreme but I just want to feel like me again and I've been doing things I shouldn't be doing like I'll make myself throw up or cut my calories how much I'm eating I know I shouldn't be but I feel guilty whatever I eat too much I've had comments on my body my entire life from wow you have really muscular legs or muscular arms or you know you have a nice ass or you have a nice butt or big I don't know anymore and I just I just want to lose it I don't want to be seen for that anymore I feel so insecure in my own body and I got my period really early so my body's really developed and I don't have a big chest but I have curves to say I just I don't know how to say my feelings so if this isn't good I'm sorry it just if you read this can you just please give me something I just make me feel human and if you can at least try. (This is typed using voice typing so if it's not the best that's why but my hands are shaking and I can't type right now)
Sincerely,
Melody
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wow, melody, that's a lot to deal with at once, especially at 13; juggling all these activities while feeling under the weather is rough as hell. listen, being in an agency sounds intense and exhausting, and your parents telling you not to cry doesn't help??? it's okay to feel overwhelmed and have breakdowns. sometimes it feels like everyone's got advice except for letting you just be upset when you need; i get it. when i felt stuck like this, i found taking time (just a little) for myself helped. maybe focus on what truly matters to you instead of everything else people are throwing your way. hang in there!
thanks I'm trying but I rarely have time to just sit since I'm also babysitting my sister while my moms works and she's only 2 (my mom works from home) and school on top and I'm the golden child so the only thing special about me is how others see me. but I'm still trying<3
Melody, it sounds like you're balancing way too much all at once with this agency stuff while feeling unwell, and it's tough that the people around you don't really validate your feelings; do you think prioritizing one or two activities might help make things a bit more manageable?
sadly with what I do I have to do all of it at once but thank you for the advice<3
Hey Melody, what you're experiencing is no joke and way too much for anyone to handle at your age. 🤯 It's like everyone expects you to be a superhero, but you're just figuring things out. All this pressure from family and body comments doesn't help either!!! Remember that it's okay not to have everything under control all the time. When I was swamped with expectations and felt guilty for taking breaks, I found joy in small victories: maybe focus on one thing that truly brings you happiness? You're stronger than you think!