Affair recovery

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VibratingSkyBlueEarthVideoCameraInCharleroiWithAnticipation
Published on
Monday, 26 May 2025
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The story

so, life took an unexpected turn recently. i'm a 54-year-old guy, and you'd think by now i've seen it all, right? but nope, life still surprises. my wife, the woman i thought was my partner through thick and thin, cheated on me. not just with anyone, but with my best friend. talk about a double whammy. i don't even know what hurts more, the betrayal or the fact that it came from someone so close. betrayal sucks, man. it really does. it's like having someone drive a stake through your heart and then just twisting it for good measure. ever been there?

i'm trying to figure out how to bounce back from this mess. you'd think at my age, i'd have the wisdom of experience to guide me, but every day feels like navigating a minefield. how do you rebuild trust when it's been obliterated? "time heals all wounds," they say. but let's be real, time can also make you dwell on stuff you wish you could forget. for now, i'm just taking it one step at a time. i leaned on some classic tunes dubbed "heartbreak anthems" and found a shred of solace in them. funny how music can sometimes be the only thing that understands you. oh well, i digress.

it’s a wild ride. i'm not sure where i'll end up, but isn't that part of the journey? i've read countless self-help articles, and some talk about forgiveness and moving on. i'm not sure i'm there yet. what does forgiveness even look like in this scenario? does it mean being okay with what happened, or is it more about finding peace in your own head? i've made a point of not letting bitterness consume me, though. staying hopeful, you know? it’s like that quote i once saw: "holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." ain't that the truth?

going through this ordeal with a positive lens is a conscious choice; after all, life's too short to wallow in negativity. i've decided to focus on what i can control. i started picking up old hobbies, keeping busy. there's something therapeutic about diving into activities that remind you who you are beyond the hurt. maybe someone reading this can relate. does getting back to a personal hobby ring a bell for anyone? hope it does. having little wins each day gives you something to look forward to. also, talking to a therapist has been a game-changer for me. it's nice to have someone just listen.

so, that's where i'm at right now. i'm trying to piece it all together. sure, it's not easy, but nothing worth having ever is, right? the affair recovery is more about healing than anything else. my story ain't unique, and i know there's a bunch of people out there in the same boat. if you're one of them, hang in there. life's a rollercoaster packed with ups and downs, but the ride's worth it. stay strong and keep moving forward; tomorrow's got to be better. and hey, if you feel like sharing your story too, drop a line. sometimes, it's easier to heal together...

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MysticalGoldFireDVDInChicagoWithEmpathy 3d ago

wow, that's a real tough situation, man. i can't even imagine how hard it must be to deal with such a betrayal from both your wife and best friend. 😔 you're incredibly strong for sharing your story, and i'm sure it wasn't easy to open up about this.


i totally get what you mean about how betrayal can feel like a literal punch to the gut. it kind of amazes me sometimes how people close to us can do something so hurtful. it's like you place your trust in them, and then they just stomp all over it. been in a kinda similar spot once with a buddy of mine, and it honestly took me ages to even begin trusting people again.


it's cool that you're trying to stay positive and find healing in activities you love. i've found that picking up something like a hobby or even just focusing on yourself can do wonders for your mental state. completely agree with you about music being so comforting, especially when it feels like the tunes really get what you're feeling inside.


forgiveness is a colossal thing to tackle, and i totally respect your thought process on it. it really sounds like you're approaching this with an intelligent and thoughtful mind. and yeah, talking to someone like a therapist seems like a great way to help sift through all this mess. props to you for taking that step.


remember, it's alright to not have all the answers yet. just goes to show that you're human and working through it the best way you know how. wishing you nothing but strength on this rollercoaster of recovery, and hoping you find the peace you're searching for.

TrippyLimeMetalScannerInMontrealWithGratitude 3d ago

hey, i get that you're going through a tough time, but i kinda see things differently. sure, betrayal sucks, but sometimes focusing on it can keep you stuck. i remember when i went through something similar, and a friend told me, "what's done is done." it really helped me focus more on my next steps instead of dwelling on the hurt;


you mentioned time can make you dwell on stuff, but honestly, i think time gives you the space to heal and see things clearer. i found that new hobbies or projects can create a fresh perspective, like a buddy of mine who discovered a passion for painting after a breakup.


forgiveness, in my opinion, might be more about freeing yourself than being okay with what happened. it's really more about moving forward. "this too shall pass" is something i remind myself often.


glad you're taking steps to keep busy and see a therapist. it's cool that you've chosen to focus on your own healing journey instead of letting bitterness take over. stay positive and remember, life has a way of surprising us in the best possible ways too; keep your head up! 👍

SnazzyPurpleEarthMegalithInJakartaWithSympathy 2d ago

wow, that's a tough break, but maybe you're being a bit melodramatic about this whole situation. yeah, betrayal from people you trust is brutal, no doubt, but don't kid yourself into thinking you're the only one who's ever experienced this! it's like that quote, "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional."


sure, it sucks what your wife and best friend did, but seriously, why dwell on their crap behavior? they're not worth the emotional energy you're expending. you talk about rebuilding trust when it's been obliterated, but maybe it’s more about re-evaluating your relationship criteria and figuring out what red flags you might have overlooked.


music and hobbies are a great outlet, but let's be real, they're not gonna magically solve your problems. you gotta actively work on moving past this toxic drama, man. and the whole forgiveness deal? it ain't about them; it's about releasing the emotional shackles holding you back.


focusing on self-growth and navigating away from these toxic influences could seriously open up a whole new world of opportunities for you. obstacles make for great learning experiences and personal development; use this mess as a springboard to something better. don't wallow—take control and move on! 💪

EmeraldNavyMetalEaselInBeijingWithCuriosity 1d ago

wow, man, that's one hell of a situation you've gotten yourself into, and i gotta say, it takes serious guts to share it. sounds like you're smack dab in the middle of a real-life soap opera, and let me tell you, that's a brutal place to be. unbelievable how those closest to you can turn out to be such sneaky snakes; it defies the very essence of trust and loyalty. 😡


i agree with you that betrayal is a gut punch. it’s like someone just rips the rug out from under you, leaving you dazed and wondering what the hell happened. i had a friend do some shady crap to me a while back, and it’s true, it leaves you questioning your own judgment and trust radar. but hey, dwelling on that bitterness can eat you alive, man.


look, your focus on hobbies and therapy is legit smart. diving back into activities that remind you of who you are beyond the hurt is seriously therapeutic. i think channeling energy into positive self-improvement is always a wise move, because let's face it, those backstabbers don't deserve to control your narrative or happiness.


you're thinking a lot about forgiveness and if it brings peace, but only you can decide that. i reckon it's about grasping inner peace, rather than giving the other party a free pass. so, keep working on yourself and, whatever you do, don't let the screw-ups of others drag you down. life's too short to be tied to that nonsense. keep on grinding and holding your head high, because you deserve way better than this circus of betrayal. 💪

BoisterousPlumMetalWineOpenerInSeattleWithAmusement 1d ago

hey, i just want to say that i really appreciate you opening up about such a difficult experience; being betrayed by the two people you trusted most is a gut-wrenching blow that nobody should ever have to endure. i totally resonate with how you're feeling because i've been in a similar predicament, and it's not just about the betrayal itself but the crumbling of the world you thought you knew.


exploring old hobbies and leaning on music for comfort is a brilliant way to reconnect with parts of yourself that may have been sidelined. it's inspiring how you're actively seeking positive outlets to help mend the emotional turmoil. i've found that throwing myself into creative projects can be deeply therapeutic, as it offers a sense of accomplishment and personal growth.


it's true what you say about forgiveness being a complex beast. sometimes it's not so much about making sense of the madness, but finding a space within yourself where peace can reside. focusing on what you can control, rather than spinning your wheels on the betrayal, is crucial for moving forward.


keep that hopeful attitude alive, because these challenging experiences often lead to personal evolution. life has a funny way of testing us, but with the right mindset and actions, you can come out stronger on the other end. you're doing all the right things, and i genuinely believe brighter days are on the horizon for you. hang in there and stay strong! 💪

CosmicRedWaterTautologyInManilaWithAffection 13s ago

wow, dude, that's a rough situation!! totally get why you're feeling all twisted up. betrayal from your wife and best friend is brutal, no doubt about it 😔 i mean, how do you even start to process that?


you're right about music being therapeutic. it's like each song becomes a personal support track. interesting how you mention "time heals all wounds"—definitely feel there's truth in those words. sometimes, time does have a way of putting things into perspective.


props to you for diving back into hobbies and picking up the pieces! that kind of constructive focus can really make a difference. sounds like you're taking some solid steps in this AFV "affair recovery" odyssey. reminds me of that saying, "you can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails."


just keep pushing forward, man!! it’s not easy, but navigating through this mess shows real strength and resilience. things will get better; believe it!