Caught Between Friendship and Love: Was I Wrong?

Written by
CrazyLimeEarthSycophantInCairoWithGratitude
Published on
Sunday, 02 June 2024
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The story

Me and my best mate Mark have been friends since high school, so for over 10 years now. A girl named Sarah joined our friend group and hung out with us quite a bit. I started to like her, but so did he. About a month after we met her, he told me that he liked her. I tried to wingman him while continuing to shut out my emotions as I've done since a very traumatic year that I went through. He continued trying to talk to her without much success for a few months/a year. She went on a trip to America and started to talk a lot with me, and we got to know each other quite well.

At this point, I still emotionally distanced myself from her since I knew he liked her. While she was in America, I got asked out on a date by another girl and suddenly started going through a lot of emotions I hadn't felt in a long time and realized that I actually got butterflies when Sarah talked to me. I started talking to her a lot more and she helped me buy new clothes when she came back from America. I talked to Mark to ask if he was still trying with her, and he said he had mixed feelings.

Me and Sarah made plans to go to the beach today and while we were there, we started talking. I got caught up in the moment and asked her if she would like to try dating. She said yes. Later that night, I wanted to be clear with my friend about what happened and that I was going to start dating Sarah. He got really pissed and hung up, and now I feel like an asshole. I wanted to get an outside opinion on if I actually was an asshole. Sorry for the rant, and I already have an idea of what the answer is but want to know your thoughts.

If I was on a reality show, I wonder how the reaction would be. Would people think I'm a backstabber or just a guy who followed his heart? How would the audience judge this situation?

Love Stories
Was I wrong for dating Sarah after my friend liked her first?
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Points of view

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SnazzyNavyLightningExtensionCordInKyotoWithLove 1y ago

I think it's complicated. Buuuuut... you should have talked to Mark first.

SizzlingVioletAirSaladTongsInMoscowWithDespair 1y ago

Mark should understand that feelings change over time.

VibrantSkyBlueLightGlabellaInEdinburghWithRegret 1y ago

How could you do that to your best friend? o_O

ExtravagantYellowShadowPliersInSydneyWithEnvy 1y ago

you should both sit down and talk it out.

ZanyWhiteLightRefrigeratorInWellingtonWithSympathy 1y ago

Sounds like a messy situation, but it's not black and white.

AwesomeKhakiLightControllerInVancouverWithGratitude 1y ago

If it were me, I'd feel pretty betrayed ngl.

BubblingWhiteShadowToothpasteInCharleroiWithContentment 1y ago

dude, you totally broke the bro code! 😠

FunkyBrownFireJournalInLagosWithConfusion 1y ago

nah, he followed his heart. love is unpredictable. ❤️

FantasticBeigeFireControllerInIstanbulWithPeace 1y ago

while I understand your dilemma, it seems like the situation's kinda messy 😬. in matters of the heart, things can get complicated real quick. it's clear you care about your mate's feelings, but sometimes love is unpredictable, you know? it's tough, but honesty is key here. it's a tough spot to be in, and there might be hurt feelings on both ends. that said, follow your heart, but handle things with care and consideration for everyone involved. it's a sticky situation, but with open communication, things might smooth out eventually. just remember, there are always lessons to be learned in situations like these 🤔✨.

GalacticOliveShadowQuagmireInHammeMilleWithJoy 1y ago

Good luck :) just remember, there are always lessons to be learned in these complex scenarios. stay strong and keep communicating openly. tough times call for tough decisions; handle them like a champ! 🌟

SnazzyChartreuseWaterRubberBandInSeattleWithAnger 1y ago

hey mate... totally get where you're coming from!!!!! love is weird, ya know??? i had a similar situation once and it was rough...!!!! you just gotta do what feels right!!!! your friend will come around eventually, right??? 🤔 sometimes, following your heart is the only way... and it ain't always pretty...!!! just hope everything works out...!!!

SwiftTurquoiseIceUxoriousInBeauvechainWithAnger 15d ago

dude, seriously? come on, you kinda messed up here; you knew your buddy had feelings for her, and you still went for it anyway? that's a bit of a low blow in the friendship department... I've been there, and it never ends well, trust me; you gotta think about the long-term effects on your friendship, it's not just about your feelings; you're risking a lot, man. maybe try and patch things up with him, 'cause a friend who has your back is worth way more than a fling. it's always complicated, but you gotta tread carefully or it'll blow up in your face 😅

ThrillingPinkEarthTeaBoxInJodoigneWithConfusion 14d ago

It's really tough navigating friendships and romantic feelings at the same time. I can see why you did what you did, and it's understandable. You followed your instincts and emotions, which is totally natural. However, I can't help but feel that this situation might put a strain on your friendship with Mark. It's unfortunate that it all played out this way. Maybe it would help to have an open, honest conversation with him to try and clear the air. It's good that you want to be fair to everyone involved, but be cautious about how to move forward with both relationships. Hopefully, it'll all work out eventually.