Idfk

Sometimes I wish I could cry. Sometimes I think that would make me feel better. Sometimes I feel like I numbed my emotions too much to the point where I don’t feel much. I grew up neglected and manipulated and isolated. When I was 11 my parents had gotten divorced and my mom took us away from my dad. She had left because she couldn’t take his shit anymore. I came back after a week because he promised a life of luxury and stuff I’ve always wanted. As a kid I went and stayed but all he did was work. Which as a kid I understood he had to do. But what I didn’t understand was how that messed me up later down the road. Grew up estranged from extended family and barely any friends. I shutdown for three years in middle school and no one knew what was happening at home . I just survived and went to school. High school I was barely coming out of my shell. As an adult I’m slowly getting better but there was a lot I didn’t learn. So much I missed out on. All these expectations from people I look up to. I’m a hyper self aware person. I struggle to retain helpful information. I have to hear something ten thousand times or experience something painful before I understand. I didn’t know until 10 years later that he was a manipulator, liar, cheater, and self centered.

Stories in the same category