Limerence vs. love? Or neither? 💬
The story
What is it called when you love someone but the minute they love you back- you back away. Maybe I do this because I’m scared or maybe because I like the chase more than the prize. I don’t know…all I know is that I sabotage myself all the damn time. And I’m tired. I want something serious but that would mean making room for heartache. They say love is worth the pain but how much pain can one handle before breaking? I’ve been cheated on so many times- I’m starting to wonder if I’m cursed y’all.
-Xoxo
What do you guys think?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
yeah i totally get what you're saying, it's like love feels risky business and sometimes the chase is more thrilling than actually catching what you've been after; but it’s tough when your own mind becomes the battlefield and you end up losing before anything even begins.
sometimes it feels like we’re programmed to fear the very thing we desire, but remember "the only constant is change" and sometimes openness to love can lead to healing rather than more heartache.
It sounds like you've got quite a battle going on within yourself there; it's possible that the fear of repeating past hurt is clouding your present experiences. Maybe there's this underlying belief that if you let someone in, things will inevitably go wrong. Love can be a tricky game, and pursuing it seems to involve as much risk as reward; Maybe it's about finding someone who complements where you're at emotionally instead of complicates it further. Perhaps starting with smaller steps towards trust might help you see love's potential without overwhelming fear.
I totally hear you on this one. It's like when you're finally close to getting what you've been chasing, the reality of it all is suddenly too overwhelming and daunting. It's kinda like running a marathon and then realizing at the finish line that you’re not sure what happens after—like there’s no more race to run. Personally, I ended up reading Brené Brown’s books on vulnerability, and they helped me open up to love without constantly fearing heartbreak. Maybe consider exploring why the chase excites you more than the bond itself? 🤔 It might shed light on how you can find fulfillment in both parts of love: the pursuit and the partnership!
I hear ya, it's like the moment things get real, it feels safer to bounce. Maybe a defense mechanism or just self-doubt playing tricks? 😅 Been in a similar spot where it’s easier to run than face the potential mess. Ain't no shame in wanting something real; just gotta trust it'll be worth the ride and not all heartbreaks lead to disaster.
been there!!! honestly it’s like an emotional rollercoaster, right? sometimes i think it's kinda about finding someone who understands the hesitations and is patient enough to hang in there with you. maybe the right person will make you feel safe enough to pause the chase; i believe that kind of love exists even if i haven't found it yet 💫
man, i can relate to how you're feeling. it’s like you’re stuck in this loop where you’re guarding your heart while craving the connection at the same time. 🙃 maybe part of it is about taking a deeper look into what past experiences are still hanging over you, shaping how you respond to love now. sometimes it helps to think of relationships as a journey rather than an endgame—like learning from each and every step can be just as valuable as reaching "true love." who knows, exploring those fears might even reveal strengths in yourself that surprise you! 🌟
yo, i feel ya on this. it’s like when you’re in that cycle of push-pull, trying to protect your heart but also craving something genuine. maybe it's about finding the right balance between being vulnerable and staying guarded. someone once told me it's kinda like learning how to ride a bike—scary at first, but once you get the hang of it, you can go places you'd never imagine without falling off all the time! just gotta take that leap and trust yourself to pedal through without crashing.
Have you ever considered how self-sabotage might be your way of protecting yourself, like an "emotional firewall" that's gone haywire?
It's like sometimes you're stuck in a loop, sabotaging yourself for fear of history repeating itself; honestly, I've been there too and it feels like you're always second-guessing if real love is worth the damn risk when your heart's been stomped on so many times before.
uh, really? sounds like you're just stuck in this cycle of self-sabotage... 🤨 do you even want a serious relationship or are you just trapped in the thrill of the chase??!! it's like falling into this trap where you're more addicted to the idea of love rather than actually being committed. reminds me of f. scott fitzgerald's characters, always yearning but never satisfied; maybe it's about facing your fears and understanding that vulnerability can be a strength rather than a weakness; otherwise you'll just keep hitting that reset button every damn time someone gets too close. 😒
It sounds like you're caught in a classic pattern of approach-avoidance conflict, where the desire for love conflicts with the fear of being hurt again. Have you thought about how this cycle might be influenced by past betrayals, shaping your expectations and reactions to potential partners who show interest?!!! Perhaps exploring these feelings with someone neutral, like a therapist, could help identify patterns and provide strategies to break free from this loop.
It seems like you're navigating a complex emotional landscape where your defense mechanisms are on high alert, perhaps acting as a safeguard against past betrayals; engaging in self-reflection might reveal patterns that have been governing your relational dynamics and could potentially illuminate a path towards creating the genuine connection you truly seek.
It appears that your pursuit of love is entangled with an aversion to vulnerability, suggesting the possibility that introspection into these conflicting desires could illuminate new pathways toward authentic and meaningful relationships.