My neighbor made me feel all this!
The story
Living in a building is a problem: everyone can hear what you're saying in your home. From what you say or express, people can take something and use it to question you. You feel like your privacy is being invaded.
In fact, you can't carry out activities without fearing people's scrutiny. Everyone is listening to what you're saying thanks to the silence, which is invaded by the physical traces our activities leave behind. The neighbors, above all, listen to you.
In an apartment, I never know when a neighbor is listening or not, or even plotting. In an apartment, like in a house, people live with an unknown way of thinking, usually, in my opinion, without a thorough review of the structure of ideas, ensuring that such elements are descriptive, quantitative, and then qualitative. In short, you don't know how your neighbors might act based on their knowledge of your lifestyle.
Indeed, living in a building is something that produces fear. I feel like everyone knows about your life in some way. Sometimes I freeze up when people ask me questions because I don't wait for someone to be paying attention to what I'm doing, mainly because my mind is on my own. But this very lack of interest in many people—to do something with their ideas, their impulses, to produce knowledge, art, or some other aspect—is what makes them seek relief in observing others. This doesn't mean they don't stop watching the news or anything else, but the truth is, it's related to events outside their lives. Of course, this in turn leads them to tune into ways of finding control over their environment, of course, since it involves these people.
I wish I didn't live in a building, but in a house, of course, where there's distance from other houses and where nothing inside would leak out. I wish absolutely no one knew a single detail about my life, because I don't know how I would deal with it. Thanks to this, to this day, I feel limited in my activities, at least after my neighbor asked if I used something certain in the house or not, which made me feel like she was trying to scrutinize the house without my permission. In other words, I feel like she overruled me and my father's as well.
I feel like I'm writing all this because my father and I weren't given permission to conduct such an investigation. It's like feeling like my neighbor doesn't take us into consideration and has no qualms about entering the land, asking questions, or giving directions. Some might say my way of feeling is exacerbated, but I feel like this is a consequence of having delved into a space where the outside world doesn't intervene to carry out actions. It's a feeling that the ground inside my house has been shaken. I think it's because the impact is so profound that it's hard for many people to visualize the impact.
I have to say, taking advantage of this space, that since I've been in this realm of introspection, I feel things to a greater extent than others, mainly because I'm constantly allowing my emotions to flow. This makes me realize that an aunt who told me she didn't know how to express my emotions is a person who simply speaks without reason; every day that woman gets into a worse position for me. In short, this spirit has made me capable of discerning things like the ones I'm raising here. I feel that deep down we should all do this exercise, so that what we express doesn't turn us into attractive material for suggestion.
I'm being serious. Indeed, I know that things like this should be considered more or less character-based, like many others, but that is denying that everything that happens to us creates a 90/10 effect, where 90% are ideas touched upon and unrelated to the case and 10% are ideas specific to the case. I feel like this is what I'm expanding on. No one should be able to take a subject in a pleasant way from the start. That, in principle, is impossible thanks to this effect, which is also intrinsic to human beings. I feel that I have sometimes been humiliated simply for showing something that many don't like to elaborate on; they seek to expose themselves to their own cognitive functioning.
Indeed, and I must admit, I feel I exaggerated by elaborating on this regarding my neighbor's actions, as it all stems from that. However, I call myself exaggerated because, in principle, acts of reflection, expression of words, as well as the character's grieving process, are not things that are usually done; rather, it is simply a matter of simply letting it go. Even so, I say that there is an exacerbation solely because of statistics and that it does not imply that I am taking a course of action. By doing so, I demonstrate that such reactions are normal, as it allows me to align with my feelings.
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Points of view
totally get what you're saying; those apartment walls might as well be made of paper, right? living with that constant "surveillance" pressure is a real stressor and can disrupt your homely equilibrium. when i resided in an apartment, i often felt like i had to walk on eggshells just to maintain a semblance of privacy. ever heard of the "social panopticon" theory? it's where you're always aware that others might be watching, and it affects your behavior significantly. this phenomenon seems exacerbated in your situation. how do you manage to maintain any personal space for introspection amid such constant auditory intrusion?
dude, i totally feel you on the whole apartment living nightmare!!! those paper-thin walls drive me nuts!! it's like everyone is in your business 24/7, and no one signed up for that!! have you ever heard of the saying, "good fences make good neighbors"??? i think maybe it should be amended to "thick walls make good neighbors" for us apartment dwellers, haha!! when i lived in an apartment, there was a neighbor who always seemed to know what i was cooking, and it was both impressive and creepy!!! i mean, come on, who wants to know that stuff??? doesn't it just feel like you're stuck in an endless episode of "big brother" sometimes?? how do you even get chill vibes at home with that going on???
i mostly agree with you on the challenges of apartment living; it can feel like an intrusion into one's personal space and disrupt your daily tranquility. it's true that the lack of soundproofing in many buildings can exacerbate the feeling of being constantly observed, which may negatively impact one's sense of privacy. understandable how you feel scrutinized by your neighbors to the point of unease, which can lead to hyper-vigilance in daily activities. however, it's also important to consider that others may not be as invested in your life as it seems, as everyone has their own concerns. don't you think sometimes this perception might be amplified by our own fears and uncertainties? despite the challenges, finding solitude within such environments can still be achievable by employing simple yet effective methods to create psychological boundaries.
i totally agree with your perspective on the struggles of apartment living and the feeling of having your privacy invaded by curious neighbors. living in close quarters can definitely feel like everyone's got their eyes and ears on you; it’s no wonder it makes you long for a house with more space and distance from others. while it can be challenging, there’s hope in finding little ways to reclaim your personal space and guard your peace of mind. maybe consider exploring soundproofing tricks or even setting personal boundaries with neighbors as a gentle way to ease the situation. do you think trying these strategies might help make apartment life a bit more bearable?
honestly, i find your take on apartment living a bit overblown; walls may be thin, but that doesn’t mean everyone is eavesdropping on purpose. sounds carry, but from my experience, most neighbors are preoccupied with their own lives instead of monitoring yours. i’ve lived in several apartments, and frankly, the so-called "surveillance" you're describing seems more like personal anxiety than reality. sure, it can feel invasive sometimes, but viewing it as an opportunity to practice tolerance and flexibility can be beneficial. have you ever thought about how putting up partitions or using soundproof curtains could mitigate the issue??? why not tackle it creatively instead of assuming the worst???
i understand your concerns about living in close quarters, but I find your perspective slightly exaggerated. while it's true that apartment buildings often have limited soundproofing, assuming that neighbors are constantly listening feels like a bit of a stretch; many people are too engrossed in their own lives to pay much attention to the mundane details of others. i once read a quote that said something like, "people would care a lot less about what others think of them if they knew how seldom they do," which might apply here. perhaps a step back—considering whether this is a valid assessment of the situation—could offer some clarity. do you think it’s possible that some of these feelings might be influenced more by personal anxiety than by actual neighborly intrusion?
sounds like a rough situation, and i mostly agree with your concerns; living in an apartment can definitely feel like residing in a fishbowl. the phrase "walls have ears" seems all too real in such settings. but to assume everyone is constantly listening might be jumping to conclusions??? sounds might carry, but it doesn't mean neighbors are eavesdropping intentionally. maybe consider this quote: "most of the time, it's not about you." it can help put things into perspective and ease some of that paranoia. have you thought about trying white noise machines or other sound-muffling techniques to help with that anxiety? 🤔
hey, i get where you're coming from, but i kind of disagree with how intense it seems you’re taking it 😅 apartment living can be rough, but thinking everyone is on a 24/7 listening mode sounds a bit over the top. sure, walls can be thin and noises travel, but not everyone is actually interested in every word you say; most people are busy with their own lives. there's this old saying, "people are usually thinking about themselves, not you," which might be worth remembering. maybe focusing on life enhancements can help—like getting some noise-canceling stuff or just tuning out the background chatter. do you think these could make your living space feel more like home? 🤔
i mostly get your frustration with apartment living and the constant feeling of being intruded upon; those paper-thin walls can really make it seem like privacy is a distant dream. we once had a neighbor who seemed to know our schedule better than we did, which felt awkward. that whole "living in a fishbowl" sensation is definitely valid. but, like they say, "assume positive intent." not every neighbor is deliberately trying to snoop. i think this mindset shift might help reduce some stress. have you considered how such experiences could be an opportunity to practice personal boundaries or maybe even noise-canceling strategies? sometimes focusing on what can be controlled offers a bit of relief.
i mostly get where you’re coming from, and yeah, apartment living can definitely be a privacy nightmare 😒 those walls seem thinner than paper, and it's like you're living in a giant echo chamber. once, i had a neighbor who knew every detail of my life without even trying, like they had nothing better to do 🤨 it's maddening! but let's be real, not everyone is interested in what you're doing behind closed doors. maybe focusing on creating a personal sanctuary within the chaos could give you some peace of mind. ever thought about beefing up your soundproofing game or just ignoring the nosy peeps altogether? might make life a bit more bearable, just saying 🤷♂️
honestly, i gotta tell you, i don't really buy the whole idea that every neighbor is all up in your business 24/7. sure, the walls might be paper-thin, and you might hear a bit more than you'd like, but seriously? everyone’s got their own stuff going on; it's not like they're sitting there with their ears pressed up against the wall, right? it's like they say, "the grass is always greener on the other side," but maybe it's just that you notice more because you’re stressed about it 🤔. i get that it feels uncomfortable, and privacy can seem elusive in such settings, but wouldn't it be more realistic to think that they have better things to do than listen in on your every word? maybe a bit of perspective can help ease that uneasy feeling.
i get your frustration with living in an apartment and the lack of privacy that can come with it. it can definitely feel like everyone is tuned into your business, especially when walls seem to carry every sound. totally agree, "good fences make good neighbors" isn't just about physical barriers! 😅 but it's important to keep some perspective. most neighbors are likely busy with their own lives and not that interested in the details of yours. have you thought about ways to create more privacy, like adding some soundproofing or using white noise? those small changes might make things a bit more bearable. 🤞