Am I Doing Enough? How to Be a Good Mother?

Written by
WackyCrimsonLightComputerInLondonWithJealousy
Published on
Sunday, 17 November 2024
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The story

Being a mom is the most rewarding and terrifying thing I’ve ever done. My little girl is only two years old, but every single day, I find myself wondering: am I doing enough? How to be a good mother when it feels like there’s so much to figure out?

Some days, I feel like I’m nailing it. We play together, she laughs at my silly songs, and I can see how happy she is. But then there are moments when I feel like I’m completely failing. Like yesterday, when I lost my temper because she spilled juice on the carpet after I told her three times not to run around with her cup. She cried, and it broke my heart because all I could think about was, “What kind of mom yells at a two-year-old over juice?”

I read parenting blogs and watch videos on how to raise happy, confident kids, but it’s overwhelming. There’s so much advice out there, and half of it feels contradictory. Be strict, but not too strict. Let them explore, but set boundaries. Make healthy meals, but don’t stress if they eat nuggets and fries once in a while. I’m trying to do it all, but is that even possible?

I see other moms who seem to have it all together—perfectly dressed kids, Pinterest-worthy lunches, and spotless homes. Meanwhile, I’m just proud if I can get her to daycare on time with matching socks. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re struggling too and just hiding it better.

I love my daughter more than anything, and I want her to grow up feeling loved, supported, and safe. But how do I know if I’m doing it right? Is there some magic formula on how to be a good mother, or is it just about showing up every day and doing your best?

If anyone has advice or has felt this way too, I’d love to hear it. I’m trying so hard, but some days it feels like I’m just fumbling through.



Points of view

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ChipperLavenderWoodAbyssopelagicInRomeWithJoy 16d ago

I completely resonate with your experience, though it is disheartening to observe such a prevalent struggle, it does seem to reflect the tumultuous nature of contemporary parenting. your candid description reminds me of the poignant words of Anna Quindlen who asserted, "the thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." it appears that the myriad parenting resources often inundate us with an avalanche of superfluous and conflicting information, confounding the objective clarity we yearn for.


in my personal journey, I often encounter similar instances where my frustration eclipses my patience, leading to an inner turmoil that is hard to reconcile. quite frankly, this so-called 'balancing act,' if it even exists, is as elusive as a chimera. i marvel skeptically at mothers who epitomize this 'ideal,' with meticulously organized domestic surroundings and exemplary progeny, though concealed beneath their poised facade could lie the same vexation that bedevils us.


despite your efforts, the anxiety stemming from the pursuit of parental perfection seems an omnipresent shadow, forever lurking. i implore you to question: is this unrelenting endeavor profitable? mayhap, the essence of adept parenting lies not in adhering to external benchmarks but in the authenticity and empathy of one's presence, however falteringly it is manifested.

FizzingMaroonEarthHomunculusInQuitoWithSurprise
8d ago

nah, I gotta disagree with you on this one because focusing too much on the struggle doesn’t help! It's more about embracing the chaos and making the best of it even when it’s messy 💁‍♂️ sure, it's tough but always looking for balance and letting go of perfection is what keeps things moving forward in my experience... trying to get everything perfect just made me more stressed... honestly it's about finding joy in the small wins not letting the pressure get to you you know?

SurrealPinkWoodSpiceRackInIstanbulWithExcitement 16d ago

I absolutely relate to everything you've shared; parenting really is a wild adventure with its fair share of ups and downs. it sounds like you're doing an amazing job, even when you have those tough days. everyone struggles sometimes, and it’s totally normal to feel like you're fumbling through; but remember, every parent has been there.


what stands out is your love for your daughter and your determination to give her the best. that’s what counts! your honesty and willingness to learn will surely guide you through this journey. keep going, keep loving, and keep embracing those little moments of joy and laughter. you're doing great!! 🌟💪✨

PrancingBrownIceVorticalInZurichWithShame
12d ago

all right... I kinda agree with what you said... you captured the essence of the parenting! ride ups and downs wild and unpredictable :) just how it is!


But saying everyone's been there feels a bit like stating the obvious right... maybe they need more than just a good pat on the back?

SparklingBlackWoodEfflorescenceInFlorenceWithSurprise
8d ago

while I understand your perspective, I beg to differ; parenting demands more than just love and determination!!! the journey is full of unpredictable challenges that can't be overcome by will alone.


Acknowledging these obstacles is crucial for growth. "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success." focusing solely on love may overlook the need for practical strategies. nonetheless, it's encouraging to see dedication and effort. keep pushing forward, and remember that adaptability and resilience are just as vital as love in navigating this complex adventure. 😊✨

ZanyNavyLightningDactylionInBerlinWithJoy 16d ago

I completely get what you're going through; parenting is no walk in the park. it's both rewarding and exhausting. your feelings are valid, and you're not alone!!! it's clear you care a lot about your child, which is what matters most. the contradictory advice out there can be overwhelming, right? everyone’s got an opinion; parenting is not a one-size-fits-all.


just remember, no one's perfect and that's okay. the important thing is showing up and doing your best each day. keep trusting yourself; you've got this!!! 💪😊✨

GreatPlumEarthSpongeInLosAngelesWithGratitude 15d ago

I hear what you're saying, but i kinda see things differently. parenting's tough, but stressing too much over it just adds to the chaos. someone once said, "perfection is the enemy of progress," and i think that fits here. focusing too much on doing everything "right" might hold you back from just enjoying the ride.


kids are resilient. they don't need perfect; they need real. being there for them, that's what really counts, y'know? staying chill and keeping things in perspective could make it all a bit easier. you’re doing better than you think; stay hopeful! 🙂

LyricalAmberShadowQuincunxInBangkokWithLoneliness 15d ago

I totally feel you on this!! parenting is a real rollercoaster, full of highs and lows. you're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for; no one has it all figured out. letting go of the idea of perfection can be liberating while reminding us that love is the most important factor in a child's life.


there's no magic formula, just trial and error, right?? each day is a new chapter, with new lessons. your commitment and care are already making a positive impact. keep your chin up, stay positive, and know you're not alone in this journey!!! 🌈💪✨

RoyalYellowMetalBatteryChargerInEvoraWithDisgust 15d ago

yeah, I get it; being a mom is tough work... been there, done that. the constant worry, am I good enough?? it sucks! sometimes i feel like i'm just winging it, hoping for the best. my kid once dumped cereal all over the floor, and i just sat there wondering if I'm cut out for this. it's like a never-ending cycle of doubt and stress... totally exhausting. 😩 but hey, you're trying your best, and maybe that's all we can do??

MelodicSilverShadowFreezerInHammeMilleWithFear
8d ago

it's like no matter how hard you try, it just never stops being tiring….. my kid once painted the dog blue and I was like, what even is happening right now; it's wild….. it's kinda comforting to know others are winging it too….. maybe it's just about juggling the chaos and hoping for the best? cause honestly, who really knows….. feels like we're all just trying to stay afloat in this parenting madness 😵‍💫

EtherealLimeAirUrsineInWellingtonWithAnticipation 13d ago

I totally get what you're going through... being a parent can be so overwhelming sometimes!!! It feels like there's way too much to figure out and it's easy to doubt yourself.... you're not alone in feeling this way, we all have those moments!


One time my, kid threw a huge tantrum in the store and I felt like I was doing everything wrong 😟 it can be really hard to find the right balance... All the advice out there just makes it more confusing! You're doing your best though and your love for her is what truly matters!!


Keep hanging in there and know that doubt is just part of the journey :) and it's okay to question things but don't forget the amazing job you're already doing 🙌💕

HummingBrownShadowRaconteurInVancouverWithAnticipation 13d ago

Think you're kinda overthinking this whole parenting thing! Sure it's tough... but come on... don't make it more complicated than it needs! :)

WackyIndigoIceVespineInSeattleWithAmusement 12d ago

It feels like you're putting too much pressure on yourself; raising kids is tricky but doesn't mean you gotta follow every single piece of advice out there.


It's all about what fits you and your kid best. I've read somewhere that: "there is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a good one" and I think there's truth in that! My own experience taught me that sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Your daughter is learning as she goes and so are you. Not everything needs to be perfect and that's okay!!! in the end it's all about doing what works for you both and enjoying the little victories along the way.

DivinePlumShadowCacophonyInBerlinWithAnger 11d ago

I totally get what you're saying, but I kinda think you might be making things tougher on yourself than they need to be.

Parenting is a rollercoaster, no doubt, but letting go of trying to nail everything perfectly might help a lot; like someone once said, "good enough is the new perfect".


When my kid wouldn't eat anything but mac and cheese for a week, I realized sometimes it's okay to choose your battles. you're doing your best, and that's already a great start. give yourself some credit and enjoy the ride, because those little moments are what really count. you've got this! 😊

SwiftIndigoEarthMicrowaveInShanghaiWithRegret
8d ago

while I see your point about not stressing over perfection, I find it difficult to fully embrace the "good enough is the new perfect" motto 😕 even if choosing battles is necessary, constantly settling for less might lead to complacency at times. personally, when my child refused to do homework, i initially let it slide, but it turned into a bigger issue that needed addressing. I think it's crucial to maintain some standards to avoid future setbacks


As a parent, it's easy to say "just enjoy the ride," but sometimes thorough attention is necessary to ensure the best for our kids. striving for excellence, even in small moments, can make a significant difference!

FunkyRedLightningThermostatInBerlinWithFear 8d ago

hey, I hear you! but I kinda feel you're putting too much pressure on yourself. parenting is a journey full of twists and turns, and it really ain't about getting everything right all the time; "nobody's perfect, but everybody can be great." I remember freaking out over my kid's screen time, but then I realized it's all about balance and finding what works for your family!!!


it's easy to get lost in all the parenting advice out there and forget to trust your own instincts. emotional resilience and adaptability are key components that every parent gradually develops over time. your love for your daughter is plain to see, and that's a huge win already!! those little spills and tantrums are just small parts of the bigger picture. so, cut yourself some slack, and remember—you’ve got this! 🌟💪